#y'all make my day brighter

[respectthepetty]

The fireworks are going to begin?

They are going to go watch fireworks?!

I know a lot of y'all had things to say about this episode, but . . . are we just letting this slide?

Fireworks?

[softgrass-pdf]

i love the little community i have on here. i love u senitmental girls in my phone <3

[kamaluhkhan]

WE DESERVE A SOFT EPILOGUE, MY LOVE.

pairing: vi x firelight!reader word count: 2k summary: after years of thinking her dead, ekko brings vi to the firelight base. you don't really know how to react when the girl you grew up loving is now a woman you know nothing about and still, somehow, feel everything for. warnings: arcane level angst + lesbian yearning. reader is referred to with she/her pronouns. reader has tattoos and a star-shaped birthmark behind her ear (y'all know vi loves a nickname and i thought 'stargirl' was v cute so i had to make it work). fic gets slightly suggestive at the end ;) author's note: happy act iii release day!!! i wrote this instead of working on my thesis oops. in my defense, vi has sparked something in me that i simply cannot ignore. i'm also working on a werewolf! pitfighter!vi x vampire slayer!reader fic (set in the same universe, just with a slight twist) sooo that might be done before part 2 of this fic (which is where the smut happens hehe). anyways, thank you for reading!

inspired by that quote: "i think we deserve a soft epilogue, my love. we are good people and we've suffered enough" by nikka ursula

even after all these years, vi is still the first one to notice you. 

her eyes widen as she hesitates to pull away from ekko, but you clear your throat to catch both of their attentions.

“i thought we were gonna question her together.”

ekko wipes a stray tear from his cheek and stands up a little straighter. 

“you were taking too long,” he shrugs. “don’t worry — she’s clean.”

you trust ekko’s judgement, but you still can’t reckon with the fact that vi is alive. you’d splashed cold water on your face just before to make sure you weren’t dreaming. 

“i don’t know.” you walk closer until you’re standing arms length from vi. “the vi i knew wouldn’t be caught dead with a topsider, let alone an enforcer.” 

you examine her carefully, and you imagine she’s doing the same to you. vi looks more grown up — stronger and sharper. you’d spent so much time in limbo, not knowing if she were alive or dead. you aren’t sure how to react when the girl you grew up loving is now a woman you know nothing about and still, somehow, feel everything for. 

“i guess the shoddy undercut is a pretty clear give away,” you deadpan.

vi quirks an eyebrow at you. “shoddy, huh? you know, your tattoos look like they were drawn by blindfolded children.”

she smiles, all bright and toothy. the scar on her upper lip stretches, achingly familiar, and you decide there’s nothing you want to do more than to bring her into your arms, to bring her closer, so you do. 

her hair tickles your cheek as you whisper:

“i did those tattoos myself.”

vi chuckles, and you feel it vibrate across her body to yours.

“i know. they’re beautiful.” her index finger traces the star-shaped birthmark behind your ear; you shiver. “i was just messing with you, stargirl.”

vi was the only one who ever called you that, said you made her life brighter or some other sweet nothing that would effortlessly fall from her mouth.

gods, she was the first one who even noticed that birthmark on your skin. 

“i was messing with you, too. the hair — you look hot.”

you feel her heart beating faster against your chest as she smiles into your shoulder.

she’s here.

she’s not some ghost from your past.

she’s really here. 

you’re so overwhelmed by how solid she is against you that you start to pull away, but vi catches your hand before you can fully untangle yourself from her. 

“that’s all i get?” she wonders, licking her lips.

you’re tempted, very tempted, to give her more. maybe you would have, until ekko clears his throat behind you.

“should i….give y’all a moment?” ekko asks. “i’ll go get the piltie.”

you then remember who vi came here with; she might not be working for silco, but you stand by your suspicions at her bringing a topsider to the lanes. 

you slip your hand from hers. you roll your shoulders back as if that would really shake away the hold she’s always had on you.

time has passed. things have changed. neither of you are kids anymore, and you don't have the luxury of indulging in a frivolous crush.

“it's fine, e. let’s show them around.”

“still a night owl, i see.”

vi finds you perched on one of the trees highest branches, surrounded by firelights as you sketch something. you close your sketchbook instantly and place it on the other side of you when vi sits down.

“thought you’d be in bed with that enforcer of yours.” 

“her name’s caitlyn.”

“caitlyn,” you scoff, shaking your head. 

the bitterness you try to hide is all too transparent to vi, who has to bite back a laugh at your pettiness. 

“you say her name like you’re gonna hex her. never pegged you as a jealous ex.”

“technically, we never broke up,” you point out. 

a firelight lands on your hand, and you let it crawl up the lines etched on your skin. 

“if that’s the case, i owe you an apology for cheating on you when i was in prison.”

you frown, but say nothing, your eyes following that same firelight as it illuminates your tattoos. 

“don’t worry, i’m kidding!” vi pauses. “mostly.”

the firelight flies away, and you huff out an annoyed breath. 

“whatever. i don’t care who you’ve fucked, or who you’re fucking. and, you don’t owe me anything. it’s not like we’re anything to each other, anymore.”

vi sucks in a sharp breath — she wouldn’t have expected such harsh words from you.

“is that why you can’t even look at me?” she finally asks.

you’d been strictly business since you first reunited hours ago. you expertly distanced yourself from vi all throughout the tour of the firelights’ base, and throughout dinner, too. 

where’s the girl she’d spend hours goofing around with, who always had a witty response to her sarcastic remarks, who smiled at her in such a way that made her chest glow? where’s the girl who brightened vi’s life when it seemed like the darkness would never leave?

“i don’t know,” you admit. “part of me still can’t believe you’re alive. i know that i should be happy that you are, but i keep thinking about everything i could have done to protect you, and powder —”

“hey. it’s my job to worry about everyone, remember?”

“you weren’t here.”

“i am now.”

she gently moves your chin so that you face her, so that you can see that she’s not going anywhere, at least for tonight. 

which is probably more time than either of you thought you’d ever have together again.

vi notices how your eyes flick down to her lips and back up, and she feels something spark in her chest. but then, you shake your head as though trying to wake up from a dream and turn away once more. 

“that enforcer of yours —”

“she’s not my —”

“whoever she is, she talked about how we all need to heal. i just keep thinking about what you’ve been through, what we’ve all been through…. how it never really stops. healing would be nice, but it’s hard when you have to keep fighting every day. you remember what ekko said, about why we chose this place?” 

of course, she remembers. 

“that if even a seed can survive down here, maybe we could, too.”

 “we. who’s ‘we,’ vi?” you laugh, but there’s no joy behind it. “we’ve gotten used to surviving without each other. maybe it was meant to be that way.”

“that’s not fair.” 

“a lot of things aren’t fair.” you gesture around at the base. “this — this community — took blood, sweat, and tears to build and i just know how easy it would be for someone to destroy it all. which is why we fight, obviously, to protect all this and each other, but i’m scared that we can only do so for so long before we burn out.”

you press your knees to your chest and curl into yourself. vi notices then — the slump of your shoulders, the shadows beneath your eyes, and just how deeply exhausted you must feel, down to your bones. 

you let out a shuddery breath. “is it even all worth it?”

vi swallows the tears building in her throat. you had always been the hopeful one, and it makes vi’s chest ache to think about what you must have endured to lose the brightness that had been woven into your being. 

that's part of what got her through these past few years, and there's no way she's going to let it fade.

“i....i think so,” vi starts, trying to find it within her to be inspirational. “maybe it'll make a difference in the long run, even if we don’t see that now. maybe someone, someday in the future, will be able to not just survive, but live in a better world.”

you raise an eyebrow at her, and vi swears there's a slight smile on your face.

"what?" she asks, her cheeks heating up.

"i'm just...surprised. how is it possible that prison made you less cynical?”

there's a glimmer to your eyes that wasn't there before, something playful, and vi decides to lean into it.

"oh, it wasn't prison," vi says, nudging her shoulder against hers. "see, i ran into this pretty girl from my past and she's this totally badass freedom fighter now, so i think there's some hope in the world."

you snort. "good to know you're still an unbearable flirt."

"i thought you loved that about me."

you laugh, a sparkling sound that vi wishes she could carry with her wherever she goes. it’s contagious, too, and vi finds herself giggling along with you. when it dies down, you rest your head on her shoulder, something you did even back when you were only friends.

“i missed you,” she admits. 

“yeah?” your voice is softer than a whisper. 

you lift your head and vi cradles your face in her hands.

vi nods. “so fucking much, and i want to prove it. if you’ll let me. please.”

“vi,” you exhale. she’s so close now that she can feel you breathing against her lips. “i can’t. you’re with that enforcer.”

“we’re not together,” vi assures, bumping her nose against yours. 

she leans in ever so closely to kiss you, but you move away. 

“you’re still with her, though, and you’re leaving in the morning,” you continue. “things are already so….complicated. i just don’t think we should start something we won’t be able to finish.”

with nothing more to say, you gather your sketchbook and pencils. vi’s sure that you’re not going to bed, just off to nestle into another hiding spot for the night, away from her.

maybe you’re still putting up a cold front, protecting yourself because that’s how you've been surviving in this world where the risk of losing everything lingers, and only gets heavier as you grow older.

but, gods, vi really has missed you, the you she remembers so vividly, the you that shone through just moments ago. she knows that glowing heart of yours is hardened by layers of ice, and she’s determined to make them all melt away.

so, vi gets up, heart beating in her throat, and calls after you:

“haven’t we already?” 

you stop in your tracks. you slowly turn around to back at her.

a moment passes, maybe more. the two of you suspended in time. your eyes are telling her a million different things – you’re confused, you’re scared, you’re tempted, you’re tired – and all vi can do is unsuccessfully blink back more tears because it’s true, how your story together never got the happy ending you deserved. 

“please, y/n. if this is our second chance, even just for a night —”

she’s cut off by you crashing your lips against hers.

the two of you were young, really, just girls when you first kissed. it was awkward and messy and though it ignited something in the pit of vi’s stomach, it was nothing compared to this.

she lets you guide her as you please, lets you press your warm body against hers against the trunk of the tree. she lets your lips mold into hers until her lungs are burning. 

your chest is heaving as you pull away slightly; vi bites back a whine, feeling empty. but air isn’t what she needs, she’s sure of it. what she really needs is more of you.

you study her like a work of art, like you're committing her to memory in case she slips away. your thumb wipes away a fallen tear, across the tattoo on her cheek. 

fuck, no one's held vi this tenderly since, well, you.

“you’re so beautiful.”

vi blushes, becoming increasingly flustered. she'd wanted to make this about you, take care of you in all the ways she'd imagined, but the way you're looking at her, touching her....she's not a religious person, but vi thinks she might have stumbled into her own, personal heaven, with you having some divine hold on her, soft and bright and passionate.

you're kissing down her neck, nipping at her collarbone when you repeat: "you're so fucking beautiful."

“yeah, i know. they should build statues of me,” she breathes, closing her eyes and trying to keep upright on weak knees. she squeezes your hips in an attempt to keep herself steady.

you’re the only person vi can recall calling her beautiful. 

sexy? oh, yeah. charming? definitely. hot? often. 

no one else calls her beautiful, though, let alone makes her feel like it the way you do.

“bad at flirting and full of yourself," you tease. "some things really don't change."

by now your lips are travelling lower, and vi doesn't want to miss a second watching you have your way with her. when her eyes flutter open, vi gets a glimpse of something over your shoulder.

“hm, i guess drawings are a good place to start.” 

she gestures with her chin, which she instantly regrets as you pull away to follow her gaze, eyes landing on the sketches of her from your fallen sketchbook.

“you weren’t supposed to see those,” you groan. "they're personal...."

it's cute, how flustered you get after making vi all hot and bothered.

vi smirks. "personal, huh? had some fun picturing me when i was gone? missed me so much you had to draw me back to life?"

"well, no - wait, yes, obviously, i missed you, but --"

vi cuts you off with a searing kiss.

she tugs on one of your belt loops to bring you closer to her. vi presses her thigh between your legs, relishing in how your mouth opens in a perfect gasp. vi takes the opportunity to bite your bottom lip and you whimper.

“don't be embarrassed, baby," vi mumbles against your mouth, thumb rubbing soothing circles into your hips. "you know i missed you, too. 'cept i'm not talented like you, so my creative imagination had to carry me through some long nights."

“is that so….” your hand slips underneath her tank top, and you manage to pull a groan from vi by scratching your nails against her stomach. “maybe you can clue me in to what, exactly, you’ve imagined.”

vi grins triumphantly. she places a kiss on your birthmark before whispering in your ear:

“sure thing, stargirl.”

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I sold my table today, turns out she's going to be a prop for a play at a local high school!

[hoshigray]

i fucking love ur writing sm mamas!

anyway. Toji making reader pregnant cause toji found out that reader loves kids <33333

It’s fine if you don’t want to. Anyway love you and your writing darling . 🎐

No, noonie, stop bc like, are you in my brain or smthn!!?? I was thinking about this exact prompt for a long while, and I see this appear in my inbox??! Well, well, *cracks knuckles* you've just given me the perfect opportunity mwahahahaha!!! This has been in my drafts for a minute, but I'm glad it's finally done! And omg tysm for loving me and my stuff, honey!! Hope I make ya proud with this one :') ilysm ♡

Also, I'm mixing in another request into this one since it's a pretty small request (reader sucking on Toji's Adam's apple as he pounds you), plus it makes things easier for me in terms of writing out stuff. Hope that's okay with the other requester; if not, my apologies!ヾ(｡﹏｡)ﾉﾞAnd btw, tysm for 1.6k followers, y'all!! Love every single one of you~☆

Cw: Toji x fem! reader - explicit content, so minors DNI - mating press - Daddy kink - fingering (f! receiving) - breeding - unprotected sex (PSA: wrap it up, or get the fuck up!!) - reader skips the pill - fluff at the end bc why not - pregnancy (test at the end) - pet names (angel, baby, darlin', good girl, mama, sweetie) - oral fixation/reader sucking on Toji's adam's apple - the reader has stretch marks on their body bc I said so - praise - overstimulation - clitoral play (sucking & swiping). Wc: 3.4k

Toji, by all means, was not a man deserving of children.

His terrible childhood and upbringing have molded him into an emotionless and reserved person who only feels as though the only person he needs to look out for and care for is himself.

So when the premise of children came to him, he wouldn't give it the time of day. That is until he ends up having youths of his own. Even then, he would do the bare minimum of taking care of them — food, clothes, shelter, and taking or picking them up from school. And to top it off, his job wasn't befitting of a father — a hitman going mission to mission for money that he used to spend for himself, now going to the needs of his kids.

Toji knew Tsumiki and Megumi were better off without a father like him. Fatherhood (or children in general, for that matter) is no easy task, and it's clearly one he's not good at.

But all that changed when you came into the picture.

Never had he seen his kids warm up to someone, an outsider, so quick. Even when he mentioned his children to you at the beginning of your relationship, you didn't falter and happily wished to meet them. And the day you finally did was the day everything became a lot brighter for the entire Fushiguro family.

Not only did Tsumiki and Megumi come to trust you with every visit, but their adoration for you grew tenfold the more you were involved in their lives. And all Toji could do was watch you do your magic, whether it be watching animal documentaries with Megumi, making flower crowns with Tsumiki, or playing with them and the other kids at the nearby park.

And the most impressive part about it all was you teaching and including him in how he could get more involved with his youngsters. Now, his kids are closer to him than ever, going so far as Megumi clapping back on his father's snarky comments and Tsumiki having the man play tea parties (to his dismay, but whatever to makes his little girl happy).

It wouldn't have been possible if he hadn't had you around. You were just such a breath of fresh air to him and any child that came your way. Attentive and caring to the young ones as if you were a natural at mimicking the maternal role. He knew you'd be a great mother to any child, especially your own.

It was that thought alone that made Toji think about you having children. Or better yet, having a child with him. Making you pregnant with his baby. Making you his.

Toji walks down the stairs after putting his son and daughter to bed, his heavy footsteps beating the wooden floor beneath him with every step. He then enters the kitchen area, where he sees you washing the dishes from today's dinner after putting the food in the fridge.

When you notice his presence, you look up and offer a charming smile in his direction, your face illuminated beautifully by the ceiling kitchen lights that the image almost blinds him.

"Hey there." Your voice is always sweet to his ears, still smiling even when you turn back to washing dishes. "The kids?"

"Just finished puttin' 'em to bed," your eyes stay at the sink, but you can feel his heavy footsteps come from beside you. "But they said I suck at tellin' bedtime stories."

Your giggle is heard through the noise of dishes clacking on the rack. "Well, maybe you're not using cartoon voices like I told you to. They like it."

"Yeah, no, I'm not doin' that shit." You chuckle some more at his complaint, and he grabs a dry cloth to dry up dishes from the rack.

It's quiet between you, but Toji will sneak glances at you while you work through the dirty plates. His thoughts from before return, and all he can think about is you with a swollen belly.

The mere idea of having you bear his child fogs his brain. Witnessing your body change and expand with the growth of your little one within you, it's too much for his mind to indulge in.

The more he thinks about it, the crazier and hornier his mind goes. Unable to function suitably, Toji sighs heavily through his nose and places the dish and dry cloth on the countertop.

You notice him make his way behind you, his hands traveling down to your hips as his chin rests atop your head. But you pay him no mind and continue with your task. "Hey, darlin'."

The nickname has you hum to him, eyes focused on the soapy sponge and plate in your hands while your ears wait for him to continue. "Yes, Toji?"

He doesn't reply instantly, roaming his large palms up and down your waist and hips instead. "Ya know I love the hell outta you, right?" He goes on when you nod. "Always takin' care of me and lovin' me. But that love also goes to my lil squirts." A smile creeps in on his scarred lips as you giggle at his way of referring to his children. "It's just crazy to me how you're able to have 'em follow y'r every step, yet I can't even get a hug or smile before they leave for school unless I remind them."

"Well, maybe if their father didn't always bully and call them 'squirts' and 'brats' all day, they would show you some love."

"Shut up," Toji flicks water from the faucet onto your face, forcing you to laugh more from your teasing. His heart swoons from your laughter, having you sway side to side with his body behind you. "But I mean it; you're so good with kids. Makes me wonder how come you never had y'r own yet."

"I just love kids." It was a simple answer. "Plus, I never really had time to care for a child. Got work and stuff, you know. And besides, I practically treat Tsumiki and Megumi like my kids."

"Mmm," he replies aimlessly.

"However," you resume while placing a wet bowl on the rack. "I wouldn't mind having a little one of my own. Now that I'm pretty comfortable with where I'm at in life, I'd love to have a little baby to share it with."

Toji lets your words sink in before saying anything. Now that he sees where you stand on the topic, finally, he can voice his opinion.

"Y/n..." he treads carefully with the words he's about to say. "I've been thinkin' about somethin'."

"Thinking about what?" You can't deny the uneasy atmosphere with Toji's mysteriousness, yet you listen as you turn off the sink faucet.

The two of you stop swaying your bodies with each other. "How 'bout we have a baby?"

Your body goes rigid at the question, and breathing subsides as your mind goes rampant with reflections too fast to comprehend. He wants a child—another child!? With me??!

"Like, right now?" The only question that escaped your lips, your voice hushed to a whisper. No one else is here in the space but you two, although the talk you're having right now feels virtually forbidden to the tongue.

"Doesn't have to be right now," Toji moves his head to your shoulder, his hushed, gruff voice clear to your ears. "But as long as it's with you, one more kid won't hurt, right?"

And your breath hitches when a hand finds its way to the surface of your stomach, his fingers lightly teasing with the flesh of your abdomen. He places his lips on your neck, and you bite your bottom lip to repress a whimper. "Mmmm, why do you want more?" You still press him with questions despite almost dissolving into his kisses. "You already have a gorgeous girl—"

"I wan' have your girl." He murmurs softly to your ear before lightly biting the lobe, and a moan slips past you.

"A-And...a beautiful boy..."

"I want your boy."

"Toji, please," you surprise the older man by turning your body to face him fully, eyes surveying his. "This is no joke! Just because I don't have my own kid doesn't mean—"

You're silenced when Toji brings a hand to your cheek, cupping a side of your face. "I'm not jokin', sweetie. I know I'm not the best dad in the world — hell, I'm pretty lousy at it. But you," he leans forward while you instinctively go backward, hitting the sink behind you. "You're basically a mother to mine and a real damn good one, too. And since ya said things are good now, why don't I make you a parent fr' real."

"Toji—"

"Like I said: it doesn't have to be today or tomorrow. But as long as it's you," his thumb brushes your cheek as he looks deep into your eyes. "Let me give ya a baby, angel."

All you can do is look into his emerald orbs that examine you for a response. The silence between you two is accompanied by the ticking sounds of the clock on the kitchen wall. And after a few seconds, you sigh and place a hand on the big one caressing your cheek.

"If I say yes," your reply has his brows lifted. "Will you give me foot massages and a bowl of ramen at three in the morning and not be a bitch about it when I ask?"

Toji gives you a smile, his scarred lip tugged upwards. And you return one to him as he kisses your forehead.

"Works fr' me."

This is how the two of you end up in the bedroom; the ceiling lights toned down to a low shade, clothes discarded on the cold wooden floor, and the sound of lips smacking fills the silence.

"Mmmm, Daddy..." You whimper through the kisses, your hands find purchase on his strong shoulders, and you yelp when he bites your lip. His lips gradually embark downwards to your neck clavicle. Kisses and light suck to your nipples make you hum in pleasure, and a gasp prompts out when his teeth graze the bud of your soft mounds.

A hand sneaks between your legs and nestles in between the lips of your southern entrance, his big fingers enter inside with the use of the soapy fluid of your cunt, and you wail from the contact while he sucks on your breast.

"Such a good girl, angel." He lets go of your nipple to coax you, his mouth sucking your skin as his mouth continues its journey south. More licks on your body feel hot, kisses placed on every stretch mark he comes across. And he stops when he passes your tummy, coming up to see the view of his digits pushing to and fro inside your leaking chasm. "My fingers feelin' good, mama?"

"Yesssss," you hiss, eyes sewn shut to concentrate on the pleasurable sensation in your slit. He chuckles at your delighted expression before he leans down to suck on your clit, earning a shriek from your puffy lips. "Stoooop, I-I'm too sensitive—Ahhaaaannn!!"

He releases your tender bud from his mouth after placing a chaste kiss on it. "Sorry, baby, gotta have you nice and wet fr' me." He sucks and laps around on your wetness for a few more minutes before withdrawing his mouth from your leaky chasm, substituting his tongue with his big fingers to swipe on your clitoris. Broken sobs seep out from you. "Cummin' on my fingers and tongue, that's my girl."

The throbbing commotion between your legs has your ears ringing and your head pulsing. You've already come three times for thirty minutes. He's such a greedy man, but whatever it takes for you to prep for him.

Speaking of which, Toji props your legs onto his shoulders while aligning his cock to your folds, lathering the girth with your juices. Your heart beats irregularly with anticipation on the rise, a position you're all too familiar with. Toji sees you gawking at his glans kissing your folds, and he sneers salaciously. "Ready, sweetie?"

You give him a smile even through entering your lustful haze. "Skipped the pill and everything, Daddy." And with a kiss on your cheek, Toji wastes no time and pushes his length into you with every inhale you take. And the both of you moan when the cockhead slides right into your vulva. Every inch of his dick descends into you, making you full of his size, and whimpers fail to be suppressed as he scrapes your velvety walls deliciously.

After letting you adapt to him, his hips start with a slow rhythm for you to properly situate yourself with the mating press. However, with how you're gripping around him, it doesn't take long for him to quicken his pace. Soft wails soon become stifled squeals with the bite of your lips from the growing cadence, and your eyes begin to water when the underside of his shaft grazes your inner walls.

But when the tip of his cock finally touches your cervix, a choked scream sneaks past your restraint. And Toji chortles. "Mmmmm, that's what I wanna hear." He grinds his pelvis deep into your cunt, resulting in forced squeaks from your tongue.

"Ahhhnnn! Daddy, please—Oh, Jesus," It hurts to think when Toji accurately jabs your delicate cervix, tears streaming down your pretty cheeks. "Oh, God, it's too much, too mu—Oooohh!!"

"I know, darlin', I know." He comes down to your face, yet his pace does not falter. His speed increases and becomes harsher by the second, and your head pounds hard with every rut. You nibble on his neck, sucking on his Adam's apple as he drills his dick into you. "Nnnngh, so tight on me, mama. Gonna make me go crazy."

As if he wasn't going crazier already with the erratic rut of his hips. Driving his cock deep inside and the sound of his balls smacking your folds is all you can hear. Your face is now entirely hot, matching the tingling sensation of skin slapped together between your legs. You dare to peek down to see the union of your sexes, Toji's member now harboring a white ring near the base. Strings of your slick and his spit keep you two connected during this moment, and more incoherent shrieks are pulled from your throat.

"Nnnaaaaa, ahhhaaaa!!! D-Daddy, please!!" While there's uncertainty about whether your pleas will be heard, you still express yourself to him. "It's coming, it's coming! I'm gonna cum, gonna cummmm!! Nnnmmph!!" And when he comes down to you with his complete weight caging you in, the pressure of his body has you submit to him completely.

"Yeah, wanna cum on Daddy's dick." He says with his condescending, guttural tone that almost makes you melt onto the satin sheets beneath you. "G' ahead, mama—Hmmph! Make a nice mess while I finish here..." His strokes become ever intenser than before; his length brushes your inner walls, and continuous pokes to your cervix prompt your orgasm to climb faster. And you soon fall into a wave of pure ecstasy, your cunt clamping around him desperately while your body trembles.

And Toji is forced to fall into a release of his own when the walls of your slit contract around him, spilling into you with the flex of his abdomen. His sweaty body is on top of yours, and your breathing matches his as you two experience each crescendo.

Heavy exhales sync as you two calm down within your intimate embrace. Your mind slowly returns from its foggy state with the calm atmosphere soothing your body, and your quivers now subsided while the older man lays kisses and sucks on your neck. But it comes to a halt when a sudden yelp comes from your swollen lips because he thrusts into you again, even with your vulva being extremely sensitive.

He lifts his head from the crook of your neck, and it's not to your surprise that he has a smirk on that dumb, handsome face of his. His lips curled to where his teeth peek from under his scar. "Ya know I gotta fuck you more than once, right, sweetie? Make sure you're all filled up 'n all."

You suck your teeth with furrowed brows, but a smile comes up with breathless giggles. "I'm telling you, Mr. Fushiguro, you're most definitely treating me to daily foot massages when I get pregnant."

"Whatever you say," he shuts your threats with a kiss on your soft lips. "My pretty darlin'..."

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

Toji twiddles with something in his hand while you lay on his chest in the shared bedroom. The kids were taking a nap after coming from school, leaving the two of you to enjoy the leisure of each other's company.

But today was a different day compared to any other. Because even if you two are looking at the television with the old rom-com displayed, neither of you is actually watching. Too busy distracted with the smiles plastered on your faces to care for what's on the screen. The only thing corrupting your minds is a matter that has you two in glee after a week of anticipation and mutual work.

The man peers at his hand to look at the object between Toji's fingers. Nothing but a pink and white stick — a pregnancy test. And at the center of the device conveyed two red lines, the signature implication that you were indeed with a child. His child.

"Hey, Toji," the call of his name has him look down at you, still facing the television despite your attention not wholly on it. "What do you think they are?"

"Hmm?" It takes a few seconds for it to click until he notices your hand brushing around your belly. He chuckles. "I'm hopin' for a girl. Wan' 'em to look and act like you."

You hum aimlessly at his answer before you berate him with more of your thoughts. "What if it's a boy? I think it'd be cute to have another mini-you running around the house."

"Nah, one mini-me is enough, and he already talks back to me like he's a teen." You giggle at the light sour face he shows and his complaints about Megumi. "Besides, I don't want another me. I'm already a lousy dad, and I didn't have the best childhood. I wouldn't want you to deal with a child that's exactly like me..."

Silence ensues with the answer; it's the only response you deem appropriate. That was the case until you say what was next on your mind.

"Toji, I'm sure your upbringing wasn't the best because people weren't there for you when you needed them. And although that's shaped you into the man I love, even I wouldn't want you to go through all that for a second time." You can feel the weight of his green eyes on you while you speak, though you don't turn to face him. "Nevertheless, times are different. You have me to love and care for you now—you and your beautiful children. You might not be the best dad in the world, but you've done a great job taking care of them."

"Thanks to you." He interrupts you, and you laugh.

"Yes, thanks to me. And because you have me, this little one won't be going through what you went through. I promise you, you're not alone in this. Because I'm pretty scared as this is my first pregnancy. But that's okay since I have you to take care of me. I'll be there to help you, and you'll be there to help me. As long as that's true, we'll do just fine."

Taken aback by your response, the older man turns to the pregnancy test still in his hand. The more he looks at the device, the more he ponders what you said. And a small smile creeps up on him, coming to a decision himself. At this point, it doesn't matter what the sex of the child will be to him. What warms his heart is that you promise to be by his side, helping him watch your little one — his child — his family grow as the days and years pass.

"Now," your voice brings him back to the present, whipping his head back to you. "I can't say the same if we end up with twins. Because you'll just have to deal with one while I have the other."

Toji puts the pregnancy test on the nightstand and goes for your nose to pinch it. "Fuckin' kid, who told you were funny, huh?" Your laughter only fuels him to mess with you more, but that's okay. He's smiling at your silliness, and that's all you want right now.

Because, even if they're not here yet, no child should have a father who doesn't know how to smile.

[cowboybeepboop]

What about a Tyler Owens x reader where Tyler loves the idea of getting the reader pregnant?

Pairing: Tyler Owens x fem! Reader 

Genre: smut, just smutty 

Word count: 2.2k

Summary: You’re Tyler’s fiancee and he has an insatiable desire for you. 

Warnings: breeding kink, unprotected sex, p in v sex. 

a/n: This one is super short and sweet 😝 Hope y'all enjoy, as always send any requests my way! It can be for any character or fandom just let me know 🙏

You stir slightly in your sleep, feeling the warmth of Tyler's body pressed against yours, his steady breathing in your ear a comforting lullaby. His hand began to gently trace the curve of your waist, his fingertips sending a pleasant shiver down your spine. The early morning light painted soft hues on the bedroom walls, hinting at the promise of a new day. 

“Ty.. 5 more minutes,” you murmur, cuddling back against his chest. Tyler chuckled warmly, his hand tracing lazy circles on your waist while you cuddled against him in the early morning light. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head, relishing the intimacy.

"Five minutes, huh? That's five minutes I could spend doing something a little more fun," he said, his voice gravelly with sleep. His fingers continued to explore your curves, a hint of mischief in his tone.

“Honey, please..” you whine softly, reaching to stop his wandering hand. Tyler chuckled again, his hand slowly coming to a stop under yours. He let out a mock sigh, feigning disappointment, but his tone remained playful.

"Alright, alright. But you're depriving me of some quality time with you," he said, gently pulling you closer against his chest. "I guess I can wait five more minutes...but don't blame me if I get a bit restless."

Tyler's breath hitched as he began to press against you, his hands moving to your waist as his hips gently rocked against you. His grip on your waist tightened, pulling you closer against him as the heat between you grew.

"You make it so damn hard to wait," he whispered in your ear, his voice gruff with desire. His lips found the sensitive skin of your neck, leaving a trail of kisses before nipping at your earlobe.

With a sleepy smile, you concede defeat to the siren call of Tyler's touch. You let out soft, needy moans as his erection insistently presses into your backside, the evidence of his desire unmistakable. Your eyes flutter open, no longer able to fall back asleep. 

The early morning light now seems brighter, charged with a new energy as you become fully aware of the passion building between you. You reach behind you, your hand finding his, and guide it slowly down the curve of your waist to the apex of your thighs. 

The fabric of your panties is already damp with anticipation, and you gasp quietly as his fingers graze over the sensitive fabric, the heat of his palm sending a jolt of pleasure through your body. His touch sends a thrill of excitement through you, and any remaining drowsiness is chased away by the growing ache of desire.

You feel his smirk against your neck, his breaths becoming more ragged as his fingertips glide over your skin. He takes the hint without hesitation, slipping his hand into your panties with a practiced ease that sends a shiver down your spine. The moment his finger grazes your clit, you let out a soft gasp, arching your back slightly to allow him better access. 

His touch is feather-light at first, teasing the sensitive bud in gentle circles that make you squirm with pleasure. His erection presses more insistently into your backside, and you can feel his excitement mirroring your own. Tyler's breath hitches in your ear, his body taut with restrained need, as he explores the soft folds of your sex with increasing pressure and intent.

The warmth of Tyler's finger on your clit is overwhelming, making it difficult to focus on anything but the delicious sensation. His hand moves in a steady rhythm, matching the increasing tempo of your breaths. The fabric of your underwear is the only barrier to the fullness you crave, and with a sudden surge of need, you slide it down your legs, feeling the cool air kiss your skin. 

Tyler seems to understand your silent plea, as his hand leaves your waist and reaches around to assist in the removal, his erection now pressing firmly against your exposed entrance. With a soft moan, you guide his hand away from your clit and towards your wetness, feeling the urgency in his touch as he eagerly takes the hint. 

His finger lingers for a brief moment before slipping inside you, the sensation making your eyes roll back in your head. The slickness of your arousal coats him, making it easy for him to glide in and out, the intimate connection sending waves of pleasure through your body. 

His cock, now free from his boxers, nudges against your wetness, and you arch your back, inviting him in. He wastes no time, aligning himself with your inviting heat and pushing forward, filling you in one slow, deliberate stroke. The feeling of him inside you is heavenly, and you let out a guttural moan as he starts to move, his finger never leaving the sensitive bud that's now swollen with desire. 

As Tyler's finger works its magic on your clit, his other hand wraps around your waist, pulling you back into him, his cock driving into you with a steady, powerful rhythm. "You're so wet, so tight," he whispers in your ear, his voice a mix of awe and hunger. 

His hips slam into yours deliberately, each thrust punctuating his words, sending waves of pleasure crashing through you. You moan into the pillow, your body trembling with the force of his passion. His kisses graze your shoulders, tender and gentle, a stark contrast to the fierce possession of his hips. 

The combination of his tender touch and relentless pounding sends you spiraling closer to the edge of climax, the tension coiling tightly in your core. His breath is hot against your skin, his grip unyielding as he claims you in the early morning light, and you can't help but feel completely and utterly owned by this man who has woken you up with such fiery desire.

As the intensity of your shared passion reaches a crescendo, your pussy clenches tightly around Tyler's thick shaft, the muscles spasming with the imminent release of your orgasm. He groans, his grip on your waist tightening as he feels the walls of your sex contract around him. 

The sound of your moans and the slick wetness of your arousal coating him only drives him closer to the precipice of his own climax. Tyler's hips buck, his movements becoming erratic as he fights the urge to let go. With one final, deep thrust, he can't hold back anymore, and with a guttural growl, he fills you with his hot, pulsing seed. 

The sensation sends you over the edge, and your body convulses in pleasure, your orgasm crashing down upon you like a wave. You follow right after him, crying out as the most intense climax of your life wracks through your body, the aftershocks resonating deep within your core.

As the last tremors of your orgasm subside, you attempt to shift away from Tyler, the need to feel the weight of his cock inside you momentarily satisfied. But Tyler's arms tighten around your waist, refusing to let you move. 

"Not yet," he murmurs into your ear, his voice a hoarse whisper that sends shivers down your spine. "Stay right here." His grip is firm, yet gentle, as if he's afraid you might slip away from him if he doesn't hold on tight enough. You feel the warmth of his semen inside you, mingling with your own juices, creating a deliciously intimate bond that feels almost primal. 

His cock twitches, hardening inside you once again, reminding you of the power it holds over your body, and despite your earlier protests, a thrill of excitement rushes through you at the thought of him taking you again. 

You relax back into his embrace, allowing him to keep his length buried within you, feeling his heart pound in time with your own as you both catch your breath and bask in the afterglow of your shared climax.

Tyler runs his hand across your stomach, his touch gentle and possessive. "Y'know, babe," he says, his breath hot against your ear, "it's a damn hot thought, getting you pregnant. Imagining your belly swelling with our baby... It's something I can't quite shake."

He presses himself closer against you, his body fitting perfectly against yours, as if trying to claim you as his completely.

“Think so?” you murmur, feeling his hand over your belly, almost like he's imagining what it would feel like if you were swollen with his child. 

Tyler lets out a soft hum of agreement, his hand still lingering over your belly. "Yeah, I do," he says softly, his voice a low rumble. "It's a potent thought. Imagining us having a family together, creating a life together..."

He trails off, his touch becoming more deliberate as his hand caresses the expanse of your bare stomach, as if he were trying to picture it already. "The thought of you carrying my baby in here... Damn, babe. It does something to me."

“I can feel what it’s doing to you,” you tease, hips grinding back against his. With a smoldering look in his eyes, Tyler pulls you up onto all fours, your breath catching in your throat at the sudden change in position. 

He kisses the back of your neck before whispering in your ear, "You know, they say this position is pretty effective for baby-making." The mischief in his voice is clear, but there's also a seriousness that sends a shiver down your spine. His movements are deliberate and possessive, each stroke claiming you and the possibility of new life within you. 

You whimper with every thrust, the angle hitting you just right, and you know that he's lost in the fantasy as much as you are. The room is filled with the sound of skin slapping against skin and the moans of passion as he takes you, his grip on your hips tightening with each movement. 

The idea of being bred by him in this raw, primal way is intoxicating, and you find yourself pushing back into him, eager for more. His breathing is heavy and labored in your ear, his hips pistoning into you with a fierce determination that matches the racing of your heart. 

The early morning light casts a warm glow across your bodies, making your skin look like it's been kissed by the sun, as Tyler continues to claim you in this intimate, life-altering dance of love and desire.

Tyler's deep, powerful strokes fill the room with a symphony of desire, your moans melding with his grunts of effort. His hand slides up from your hip to cup your breast, his thumb playing with your hardened nipple, sending electric jolts of pleasure through your body. 

As he continues to pound into you, the tip of his cock brushing against your g-spot with a precision that makes your toes curl, he leans forward to kiss the arch of your back, his breath hot and ragged in your ear. 

"I want to feel you come again," he whispers, his voice a dark promise that sends a shiver down your spine. His other hand slides down to find your clit, his thumb circling the sensitive nub with a pressure that matches the rhythm of his thrusts. 

The dual sensations are almost too much to bear, and you find yourself rocking back into him, urging him deeper, your body begging for release. His kisses become more insistent, moving from your shoulder blade to the small of your back, each one a declaration of his love and need for you. 

As Tyler's finger expertly teases your clit, you feel your body tense up, your pussy clenching around his thick cock. "Oh, god, Tyler," you moan, your voice shaking with the approaching climax. His movements become more ragged, his hips slapping against your ass as he nears his own release. 

His breath is erratic in your ear, his grip tightening on your waist as if he's trying to meld your bodies together. "Come for me, baby," he growls, his voice thick with desire. With a final, desperate thrust, his finger presses hard on your clit, and you shatter, your orgasm rushing through you like a storm. 

The sensation is so intense that you cry out, your muscles contracting around his cock as wave after wave of pleasure crashes over you. Tyler's own climax follows immediately, his hot seed filling you up as he groans in satisfaction. 

His body tenses, and then relaxes, his cock still pulsing inside you as the aftershocks of your shared ecstasy wash over both of you. For a moment, the world outside the bedroom ceases to exist, and it's just the two of you, connected in the most primal and intimate way possible.

Tyler collapses beside you, his chest heaving with exertion as he tries to catch his breath. He wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you into his embrace, his touch tender and possessive as he holds you close.

"Damn, that was intense," he says, his voice rough. "You drive me crazy, you know that?" He plants a soft kiss on your shoulder, his lips gently caressing your skin. "The thought of you carrying my baby though... That's all I can think about now."

[vifilms]

❝ DO YOU FEEL ASHAMED? ❞ ✶ ELLIE WILLIAMS !

★⠀warning y disclaimers — eighteen+, ex!ellie, heavy angst, cheating, heartbreak, moving on, reader going through it, no happy ending y'all, this one has a little kick, ellie is a bit of a dirtbag in this, next time i write for her it'll be the most fluff.

RAYNE RAMBLES ★ wrote this last year after getting cheated on and it's just been sitting in my docs, forever. enjoy my pain?? idk, possible abby x reader sequel

ex!ellie who avoids you for a very long time after the breakup. she wishes it could be amicable between the two of you too, but it can't be. it never will be. ellie made sure of it. all of her belongings are still littered across your apartment, though her scent is gone, you still see her everywhere. you can't bring yourself to remove the framed photos of the two of you hanging across your home. she was happy, or so you thought, and you were. but today was the day. you were letting all of it go and her with it. your roommate had taken it all down for you, the strength to remove the past three years of your life just couldn't be found. 

ex!ellie who doesn't really want to think about the way you'll look at her. her emerald eyes were always your favorite, you used to go on about how much you love them. how soft they looked at you, the light shining beneath them whenever she said something stupid and ellie just waited for your giggle or a hint of it anyway. they used to be kind to you, careful, even calm but it didn't seam to be the case anymore. ellie knew you wouldn't be either — not after she’s hurt you. carelessly, abusing your kind-hearted spirit, turned you to something resembling unbridled rage with a large dosage of resentment. 

ex!ellie who is met with your roommate instead of you, before the door is slammed in her face. she expects to be met with sharp behavior. there wasn't a shadow of a doubt she did. ellie just wished it wasn't your best friend who she fucking hated. ellie never liked them. they never liked her and now she didn't have to hide it. what ellie couldn't stand was that they were right about her. three years in and instead of doing the decent thing, ellie chose to betray you. those closest to you were going to protect you from the enemy at all costs. the only you trust the most and cut you the deepest. as much as she despised it, it was all true. 

ex!ellie who eventually gets you, after you hear her voice carelessly arguing with your friend. you place a box at the entry in front of her feet, before you walk away. ellie peaks through one foot in the door, but then you're already back with the second box. ellie can see the tears in your eyes and you see the guilt in hers. almost shining brighter than the shame. she knows how much it hurts you, her being here, being so close but so unimaginably far away it makes you want to hurl. 

ex!ellie who watches you breathe deeply, your hands clenched into fists. before you're rubbing them at drained eyes, dark circles underneath them. she's to blame for everything you're going through. if she had just been honest from the beginning, maybe the two of you could've been friends and just left your love there. you were nothing but good to ellie, pure like white snow, and now the blood from her hands fell over you, staining you a violent red. you would never be pure again. no. not like before. you wouldn't ever blindly trust anyone just because you simply fell in love. putting yourself out like this again? no, you couldn't do it. 

ex!ellie who tries to speak with you, mouth open, but no words are able to come out. she tried her best to put off this moment, the confrontation of the aftermath, facing the fact she had treated you like an afterthought, but you were more than just a thought ellie had tried to push away. you were a person she had left abandoned. she had promised you the world and caved when the time came to give in. she become everything you feared she would be, tearing you in little shreds of yourself as you tried to piece back what she had broke. 

"you look like you haven't slept." ellie states, not really a question, but she almost phrases it as one. she doesn't have a right to ask. the two of you know she's forfeited knowing you, your life, how you're doing — she's the one whose damned it all. 

"i don't really. not right now at least." you look anywhere but her eyes, your eyes concentrating towards the freckles meticulously scattered along her shoulders, her cheeks, and along her button nose. “anyways, should be everything of yours. i’ll contact dina if anything else shows up.” your tone sharp, clearly cutting through. 

there’s no malice when you utter her girlfriend’s name, but ellie senses you’ll reserve the tone of betrayal just for her. she’s the one who abandoned her commitment to you. 

not dina. 

“can we talk? please?” ellie flashes her beautiful puppy eyes at you, once would make you melt, now you feel like throwing up.

“ellie.” there is it is, ellie thinks, betrayal and brutality laced in the voice who promised her a future. there once had been one, house, kids, a ring. it seems so silly now. it’s a warning the way you speak to her. don’t push your luck, williams. 

she’s with dina. why does she even care? 

she’d never seen you so upset, so vengeful, so tired of her. you weren’t lying when you never said you never wanted to see her again. every single beat of your heart meant it, the emotion cut off when you spoke to her, how you looked at her with this cold look in your eyes. arms crossed over your chest as if looking at her is the most taxing task in the world. 

ellie was supposed to not care. she couldn’t, yet it bothered her you clearly didn’t. 

“i have nothing i want to say, especially to you.” you bark, for the first time, ellie fears there might be a bite. 

“i-i know i fucked up, okay? i just can’t stand the thought of you fucking hating me.” ellie pleads, a longing look in her eyes. 

“well, i never thought i would, so i guess we’re all evolving and changing into horrible people.” you roll your eyes at her, watching as she struggles to pick up the boxes laid at her feet. 

you loath how much you want to help her, but don’t. 

you can’t. 

“you’re not horrible.” 

“well, you are.” your insult slapped her right across the face, the burning sensation stung but what hurt more was knowing you meant every word. 

“this isn’t fair, i know what i did was bad, but i told you the truth. i didn’t lie, i confessed. isn’t it worth for at least, i dont know, a little empathy? something?” ellie sighed deeply, shoulders tense from the altercation with you. “

“you didn’t tell me because you’re a honest person. it’s because i would have found out and you were scared.” you scoff. “fuck you. wanting brownie points for admitting you cheated? go to hell.” 

“what else could i have done? it was already too late.” ellie admits, shame laced in her eyes. you hope she feels every bit of shame for all the hell she’s put you through. 

“i wonder why it was too late?” your sarcasm slicing through the air. ellie finally managed to get a grasp on boxes in her shaky hands as she tried to not crumble under your death glare from hell. “i was the last one to show up at the party to your new fucking relationship. huh, guess i would be one not invited? some weird fucking placeholder until you found something better. right under my fucking nose.” 

she deserves every bit of it. 

painfully, you were met with silence. ellie couldn’t do anything, apologize in a way she hadn’t before, beg for forgiveness, grovel for your compassion. 

you were too angry, too heated, too fucking hurt. there’s only a split second of it, ellie almost missed it, but she saw it clearly. the gloomy blues hidden beneath your beautiful eyes, slowly becoming more evident. you’re trying your best to hide it beneath anger, mask it from her, but she sees it. 

tears building the more your voice escalates and ellie would truly hate herself if she made you cry in front of her, again. she’s can’t see you do it again. it’s the last thing she wants. she can’t keep hurting you. 

dina, fuck. she has to protect her. ellie’s unsure if you’ll lash out on here. you haven’t yet, but breakups pull the worst out of you and she’s fearful for the women she does love. 

“just…don’t take it out on dina, alright? if you wanna be mad, fine. as much as i wish i could fix it, i know nothing i can say or do will earn your trust back. okay?” 

your heart breaks at her instinct to protect dina, how she used to do the same for you. it nearly splits you into an abyss, cracking your soul just where she had nicked it. almost seemed intentional at this point. 

“i would never be mean to her. she didn’t promise me a future together, you did. hope you have lovely fucking life with her.” 

ex!ellie who is met with the wooden door being slammed in her face, nearly kissing her chin. she stayed there long enough to hear you cry, sitting on the concrete to hear the consequences of loving someone else who wasn’t her girlfriend, well now ex. she craved to punch something, someone. you whined, a name quietly dropped from your perfect lips, abby, your fucking best friend. she would be the one to comfort you, pick up the pieces of the wreckage ellie had left you with. it scorned her, letting a flame loose on her skin, with the thought of you with her. but she didn’t get to have feelings, she couldn’t be upset with how you chose to reassemble your sanity. not when she’s the one who broke you. even if it’s with the woman she always feared you love more than a friend.

DAILY CLICK + DONT BUY TLOU + DONATE

[crunchystarz]

Hello!

I’d like to request a oneshot with Kalim x fem s/o where it dawns on Kalim that his s/o is the only girl in an all boys school and now he’s starting to notice every stare and gift other guys are trying to give his s/o causing him to be a bit jealous and protective

(I hope the reader being fem is okay bc if not then you can totally ignore this request!!)

"Me jealous?!?...I'm totally jealous"

Kalim Al Asim x Fem!Reader

Summary: Kalim realizes he's not the only one who wants your love and attention

Cw- none, just fluff

Word count: 1545

A/N: GAH sorry this took so long I've been so busy with finals; also imma be so fr I basically blacked out when writing this so if it's not perfect again y'all always can leak my address;

Thank y'all sm for 100+ followers already like 🙁 y'all are so cool pls don't explode

Night Naven College was an all-boys school. Always has been. You were the first exception to that. You were the only girl who ended up becoming a student.

When Kalim first met you he never paid mine to that fact. To Kalim you were Just another student ; a new friend to be made. However, after getting closer to you the housewarden couldn't deny the fact you made his chest feel all fuzzy.

He's always surrounding himself with people but you're his favorite person to be around. He will always try and seek you out in a crowd because you were the one who made his heart beat so fast.

He loved the way you'd run a hand through his hair whenever he'd lay on your lap or the fact you were always down with whatever he came up with. How you truly did care for the people around you.

You were perfect in Kalim’s eyes.

Kalim ended up mentioning these feelings to Jamil offhandedly; Which after a little talk with him. He came to the conclusion he liked you. Not just in his usual friendly way either. He was head over heels.

However you being the only girl meant you had many eyes on you no doubt. It's always been that way since you became a student however Kalim only started paying attention to it once he recognized his crush.

He couldn't help the way his chest turned whenever another would give you big puppy eyes or would be overly friendly with you. He didn't get it. You weren't his…yet. So why does he get jealous so easily?

He couldn't blame others for liking you. You were well you. You were smart, kind and pretty, how couldn't they fall for you? He just wished he had all your attention sometimes even if it did feel selfish.

He'd often subconsciously glare at others who linger on you too long. He'd also be quick to kill you closer to him in a crowded area or lead you somewhere else all together just to get your full attention. It was clear to most people he had a thing for you.

Kalim fidgeted and watched as the pink haired boy shyly handed you a bracelet. It was just made out of colorful rubber bands. He could give you something much nicer… but you looked so happy receiving it.

Was it the thought that counted? Is that why you took it and smiled so brightly? Kalim slightly pouted to himself. He felt so uncomfortable. He wasn't used to being jealous. He wanted to be the one to make you smile like that.

The snowy hair bit his lip as he remembered the conversation he and Jamil had a few days earlier.

“You know Kalim you should tell her how you feel, she's not exactly going to be on the market forever you know” Jamil spoke, dusting the shelf that had started to collect dust.

Kalim huffed and groaned. Jamil was right. You weren't going to just be up for grabs forever. But how would he just tell you how he feels…

This was too complicated! Kalim wasn't used to not being able to express how he felt. He wants to tell you that you mean a lot to him. Which he does all the time but he wants you to know he doesn't mean it in the same way he means to his other friends.

He wants you to know you're special, that you're an even brighter star compared to him. Yet he's afraid that he'll mess everything up. What if you don't feel the same way about him? Kalims frown deepened and he sighed, slumping his shoulders.

Kalim played with the bracelet in his hands. Was this good enough? He made it himself with charms that reminded him of you. He didn't register the sound of footsteps approaching behind him.

“Good afternoon Kalim!” your voice rang out. The house warden basically sprung up, a smile spreading across his face upon hearing your voice. He turned and shoved the bracelet into his pocket.

“Hi, name!” He chirped, hugging you tightly. You let out a soft chuckle before wrapping your arms around him as well. He pulled away with a big dopey smile. You tilted your head and looked around.

“Jamil, is he not with you?” you asked. Kalim shook his head. You let out a hum before shrugging lightly. You flashed him a smile causing blood to rush to his cheeks.

“Well it's nice to catch you alone for once you always seem to be around someone, sometimes it's nice when it's just the two of us” you spoke, Kalim’s red eyes watched you.

He couldn't help the way his smile got bigger at your words. He felt the same way; it made his heart leap.

“Yup…just the two of us!” He exclaimed, his voice a little higher in pitch. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, his fingers running over the bracelet. He was about to speak before you cut him off.

“You don't have any more classes today right?” You asked, turning your full attention to the house warden once more. Kalim nodded his head.

“Great, would you mind if I hung out in scarabia with you?” You said with a small tilt of your head.

“No, I wouldn't mind at all!” The snowy hair perked up.

On the walk there it was like Kalim was hyper aware of every guy to look in your direction. It made him feel so bad for feeling so bitter about it but he couldn't help it. Couldn't these guys just mind their own business?

You seemed to take notice of his demeanor being off“You okay, Kalim?” you asked softly, your voice laced with concern. Your hand gently tugging on his sleeve.

Kalim blinked, snapping out of his thoughts. “Huh? Oh! Yeah, I’m fine! Totally fine!” He gave you a wide smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Odd.

You raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. “Are you sure? You’ve been kind of quiet.”

He swallowed nervously. You knew him too well. “I guess… I’ve just been thinking a lot lately,” he admitted, his voice softer.

You tilted your head, curiosity sparkling in your eyes. “Thinking? About what?”

Kalim hesitated for a moment before taking a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking about… you,” he confessed, his cheeks flushing a deep red. He couldn’t meet your gaze, his eyes glued to the ground.

“And how… you make me really happy.”

His words caught you off guard and you looked up at him. “I make you happy?” you repeated, a small smile tugging at your lips.

Kalim nodded quickly, his usual energy bubbling to the surface despite his nerves. “Yeah! Like, more than anyone else. I love being around you, and I always want to make you smile. But lately, I’ve been feeling… different.”

“And what do you mean by different?” You spoke moving closer to him. Your chest swirling with an …off but comforting feeling.

“Well it's just I… I get all weird whenever other guys start paying attention to you…” He admitted sheepishly. Your grin turned a bit more teasing.

“Awh, sounds like you're jealous,” you teased. His face redder a bit and he looked away.

“I …am” he responded. You weren't expecting him to just openly admit it. You blinked and recollected your thoughts. You cleared your throat before speaking.

“Well that's actually kind of nice… to know you care enough to get jealous over me out of all people” you said, your tone a bit quieter now.

“Well of course I care about you…”

It got quiet for a bit. Neither of you speaking, just watching each other.

Kalim fidgeted with the bracelet still in his pocket, finally pulling it out and holding it out to you. “ Oh I made this for you. I’ve been trying to find the right time to give it to you…"

Your eyes softened as you reached out to take the bracelet, your fingers brushing against his. The charms were small but thoughtful .

“Kalim… it’s beautiful,” you whispered, slipping it onto your wrist.

“Thank y-”

“I-I like you!” he blurted out, his words tumbling over each other in his excitement. “Not just as a friend. I mean… I really really like you. You’re amazing, and I don’t want to keep it to myself anymore.”

Your eyes widened in surprise, but your smile grew even brighter. “Kalim…”

He held his breath, waiting for your response. His heart pounded so loudly he was sure you could hear it.

“I like you too,” you said softly. “I’ve liked you for a while now.”

Kalim’s eyes lit up like fireworks, a beaming grin spreading across his face. “You do? Really?”

You nodded, reaching out to take his hand. “Really. You’re the brightest part of my day, Kalim.”

Unable to contain his excitement, Kalim pulled you into a tight hug, spinning you around. You yelped in surprise.

As he set you down, still holding your hand, he looked at you with a warmth that made your cheeks flush.

“So… does this mean I can be your boyfriend?” he asked with a hopeful grin.

You chuckled softly and nodded. “I’d love that.”

Kalim’s heart soared. He never imagined this moment could feel so perfect. You were his now — and he was yours. Nothing could make him happier.

Jamil would never hear the end of how much he loves his girlfriend.

MASTERLIST

[nhlclover]

𝖥𝖠𝖪𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝖨𝖳 𝖲𝖤𝖳𝖧 𝖩𝖠𝖱𝖵𝖨𝖲

summary seth always visits the training room in hopes of getting your attention until one day it backfires. warnings flirting + teasing, simply fluff! word count 1.26k notes first seth piece!! i literally love this man so much so i hope y'all enjoy. i've also had this plot for ages and i finally decided to write it.

Seth entered the team’s training room for what felt like the hundredth time since the start of the season, and his eyes immediately searched for you. He carried the same easygoing grin that he always did, the one that made it seem like nothing could bother him. It was one that was starting to become all too familiar to the other Hurricanes players and staff — a grin that usually meant Seth was up to something.

He spotted you by the cabinets, organizing boxes of splints and unrolling new lengths of tape with a focused intensity that made him pause. He couldn't help but admire how dedicated you were, how you seemed to move effortlessly despite the chaos that usually surrounded you. The first time he saw you, he thought it was just a fleeting attraction—something he’d forget about by the next practice. But as the days passed, he kept noticing more about you: the way you bit your lip when you were deep in concentration, the soft hum of a tune you’d sing under your breath when you thought no one was listening, and the bright way you laughed, like you weren’t weighed down by anything.

The training room started to feel a little brighter when you were there, and he found himself coming up with excuses to swing by more often. A slight tweak of his ankle, a vague soreness in his leg—any reason to have you check him out, even if he didn’t need it.

Over time, his visits became less about any actual injuries and more about getting to see you and getting to talk to you. He tried to be subtle, but his teammates noticed, throwing teasing comments his way when you weren’t looking. They’d tease him, elbowing him in the ribs, telling him to “stop pretending to be hurt just because he liked the company.” Seth would laugh it off, but he knew they were right. Every time he walked through those doors, it was just another chance to see you.

“Hey, y/n,” Seth greeted, a playful tone dancing in his voice. “Got a minute? I think something's up with my shoulder today.”

You turned, eyes meeting his with an amused glimmer that always seemed to make his pulse quicken. “Your shoulder this time, huh?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest. “You know, Seth, you might just set a record for the most visits to the training room,” you said.

“What can I say?” he shrugged, still grinning. “I’m a delicate guy.”

“Uh-huh, sure,” you replied, but the corner of your mouth twitched like you were fighting back a smile. You pointed to the table. “Sit. Let’s take a look at this ‘injury’ of yours.”

Seth hopped up on the table, swinging his legs like a kid. “I don’t know,” he said, voice dripping with dramatic flair. “It’s feeling pretty tight today. Might be serious.”

You rolled your eyes, stepping over to him. “Shirt off.”

He didn’t hesitate, stripping off his shirt in one smooth motion, revealing the lean, athletic muscles that came from years of hard work on the ice. You tried to keep your expression neutral, tried not to react to the way his skin gleamed under the fluorescent lights. But Seth saw the flicker of your eyes, the quick dart to his chest before you composed yourself. It sent a thrill through him—he liked that he could get a reaction out of you, even if you tried to hide it.

You stepped closer, fingers already tingling with the familiar sensation of checking injuries, but this time, you felt something different. Maybe it was the way he was watching you, eyes locked on your face like you were the most interesting thing in the room. Or maybe it was the way his skin felt warm beneath your touch, the slow rise and fall of his breathing under your fingertips.

“Any pain here?” you asked, pressing lightly on his shoulder.

“Maybe a little,” he said, though the slight smile tugging at his lips betrayed him. “I think you should keep checking, just to be sure.”

You sighed, a little exasperated, but you kept your focus. There was clearly nothing wrong with his shoulder, the lack of wincing or tension in his movements betraying his lie.

“Well,” you said, pulling your hands away from his shoulder, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. “I think you’ll live. But just to be sure, maybe I should recommend you take a game off. Can’t be too careful, right?”

Seth’s eyes widened, panic flashing across his face. “Whoa, whoa, hold on—no need to get drastic here!”

“Why not? You keep showing up here all the time. It seems like you need the rest.”

He swallowed, trying to keep his cool, but you were so close now, and it was making his heart race in a way that had nothing to do with nerves. “Because,” he said, a bit too quickly, “I’m not actually hurt.”

You blinked, tilting your head. “You’re not?”

He let out a long, exasperated sigh, pulling his compression shirt back over his head. “No. I just… I just wanted an excuse to see you, okay? The shoulder’s fine. I’ve always been fine.” He rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. “I know it’s stupid, but I didn’t know how else to get your attention.”

You bit back a smile, trying to keep your composure. “You mean to tell me, all these times you’ve come to see me claiming your knee hurt, or you twinged your back… all those times you were faking it just to talk to me?”

Seth groaned, dropping his head into his hands. “Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s pathetic. But you make it really hard to think straight, okay? And I’m not great with this stuff. I figured if I came in here enough, maybe you’d notice me.”

“I did notice you,” you said, and there was something softer in your tone now. “I noticed you every time you limped in here, pretending to be all tough. And believe me, I knew you were faking it.”

Seth’s head shot up, his eyes wide with disbelief. “You did?”

You nodded, biting back a smile. “Yep. Since, like, the second time you came in saying your elbow felt ‘off.’ You’re not exactly subtle, you know.”

“Well, that’s… that’s just great,” Seth muttered, feeling heat flood his face. “So I’ve been making a complete idiot of myself this whole time?”

“A little bit, yeah,” you admitted, stepping closer, “but it was kind of cute.” You reached out, gently tapping his shoulder. “You know, you could’ve just asked me out, Seth. It would’ve saved you a lot of time and fake injuries.”

“So… does that mean you might be interested?”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Yes, Seth. It means I’m interested. Now, are you finally going to ask me out, or do you need to pretend to break a leg first?”

Seth’s grin spread across his face, genuine and full of relief. “Alright, alright. Would you… maybe want to go out with me sometime? For real, this time?”

You smiled back, nodding. “I’d like that.”

His heart soared, and he couldn't help the goofy grin that spread across his face. “Really?”

“Really,” you confirmed, stepping back and giving him a gentle pat on the shoulder. “Now, go stretch that ‘injured’ shoulder of yours before I change my mind.”

He laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “You’ve got it.” And as he left the training room, Seth couldn’t help but feel like he was walking on air.

[celestialprincesse]

https://www.tiktok.com/@5minutefails03/video/7224318474368093441?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

this would be simons K9 riley and single!moms kid

OH MY GOD this is the cutest thing I've seen, thank you anon baby!!!!!!💕

It totally would. Y'all know how dogs are super perceptive to their owners emotions?

Yeah, that's Riley and Simon. Riley isn't used to seeing people, isn't used to guests and most certainly isn't used to this new woman who spends more and more time in their home, bringing treats and food over, and a very tiny, very giggly toddler. But Simon loves them, the woman and her baby. Simon's eyes crease with a smile when the little girl yanks at his hair or wraps her entire little hand around his pinkie. So Riley loves them too.

Simon would undoubtedly lay down his life for this new woman and her child, so Riley would too. Simon panics when the baby cries, so Riley does too. Puts his little furry head on the baby's lap to show her that he loves her, brings her his ball or his chew or a slice of day old pizza Simon accidentally left on the counter. Simon brings her toys, right? So Riley will too. The woman looks after him when Simon goes away too, even lets him sleep on her bed, and he plods loyally behind her when she goes to check on the toddler if she cries during the night.

Both Riley and baby's favourite thing though? Cardboard boxes. When the woman puts her daughter in a discarded packing box on the floor, which the little girl is already utterly fascinated by, Riley obviously wants to play too, grabbing one of the cardboard flaps of the box, dragging it slightly across the carpet. When the little girl squeals and giggles? It's over completely, and Riley's channeling his instincts pulling her around the living room like a husky would a sled, the sound of pure, childlike joy emanating through her flat as she sends a video to Simon, hopefully to make his workday just a little brighter.

🤍Mama : 1 Video Attachment 🤍Mama : Riley's made a new best friend.

Simon (Hot neighbour)🖤 : I hope he's taking good care of my girls. Simon (Hot neighbour)🖤 : Missing you two.

[pullupinarari]

Lean your weight on me [LH]

8. Take your eyes off of me so I can leave

Summary: a 9 chapter series where you are a famous singer, living the career of your dreams. But your chaotic schedule makes your body give in, making you lose your memory and forget (almost) everything.

Author's note: I can't believe this series is coming to an end 🤧 last but one chapter, hope y'all enjoy this!! mwah

wc: 4596 - English is not my first language! Feedback is always appreciated

all chapters here

As soon as you got to your parents house, something felt different inside of you. You already had a memory of how their house looked, but seeing it in person made your brain start to work faster, rushing to encounter the lost images of all the moments you’ve spent there. 

At first, you were supposed to spend four days with your parents, but as soon as your memory started coming back to you, you decided you couldn’t leave the place that was helping you so soon. So, four days turned into two weeks already, and it’s incredible how your memory is coming back so fast now. 

You started to remember everything about your old life, and it felt like a ton of bricks hitting you each time. You remembered the pain you felt in the lowest phase of your life, the agony of feeling alone and helpless, you know now why it all happened. 

But you also remembered all the happy memories, how your life made you feel fulfilled, how you felt grateful for your marriage, and you even remember how badly you and Lewis wanted to start trying for a baby, once your tour was over. 

You haven’t spoken to Lewis since you left, it’s hard for you to deal with the whirlwind of emotions erupting through you for the past couple of days. You see all the missed calls, the messages he leaves you, but you just can’t bring yourself to deal with him right now. You know he sees all the posts you’ve been doing on your social media, and the thought of being seen by him - in any way, makes you feel uncomfortable, so you decide to private all your posts, so he can’t see them anymore. 

You feel bad for doing this, for putting him to the side like this, but you have to be selfish now. You have to put you and your mind first, and you can’t stop all the memories from coming back now. 

Your fingers tap fast on your phone, reaching for every single person that comes to your mind now, feeling like you have so much to catch up on with everyone. Your brain engines keep spinning, and you collect all the lyrics and songs you’ve been writing for the past months - wanting to share your story more than ever now. 

The vlogs don’t do it for you anymore, so you decide to call your management team. As days pass by, your creative side gets brighter, and your manager comes up with an idea: put all your vlogs together and film a documentary about what happened to you. 

Your days are filled with calls, with writing sessions in your childhood bedroom now. You are dedicated to your craft again, wanting to tell your story to the world, after being quiet for so long. The feeling of getting your memory back so quickly after leaving Lewis’ house, really makes you feel lighter. The huge sensation of relief in your chest, reminding you that you don’t need anyone anymore, you don’t need to rely on people to tell you how to live your life. You’re finally yourself again, you have control over your mind and your life. 

Waking up every morning, opening your eyes and knowing where you are, who are the people having breakfast downstairs, what are your plans for the week, is something priceless to you - it might seem like nothing, but it is a big deal for someone who had lost their memory, someone who couldn’t even remember the smallest details about themselves for months. 

Now, you feel like a social butterfly. Every day, you scroll through your phone, text your team, call your friends, you want to make up for all the time when you didn’t feel capable of talking to them. You want to apologize for being absent for so long, for not remembering them - making sure you tell all those people how grateful you are for them, how much you love them. 

You make sure to call Grace, facetiming her, a bubble of anxiety growing in your stomach while you wait for her to pick up. And when she does, you make sure to tell her everything that has changed so drastically in your life in the last two weeks. It’s the way your friends react when they find out that you got your memory back, that lets you know that you are surrounded by the right people. Seeing your best friend in tears after explaining everything to her, makes all the anxiety go away - she doesn’t care about the rough days when you hurt her feelings before, she’s just happy to have her best friend back. 

“And how is Lewis feeling after all this? I bet he’s so relieved that you finally remember everything!” - Grace says, innocently believing that Lewis is staying at your parents’ house too. 

You go silent for a few seconds. “Lewis didn’t come along with me here. In fact, he doesn’t even know that I have my memory back already” - you quietly answer, knowing how badly all this sounds. 

Your friend gives you a puzzled look. “What?” - she questions, not believing your words. You sigh. 

“Grace, listen. I had to leave that place, I wasn’t doing well there. It came to a point where me and Lewis weren’t helping each other anymore. So I had to leave, and I came here while he stayed at his house. You see how I got my memory back so fast here? Everything seems so simple here, maybe it’s a sign that I don’t belong there anymore, I don’t belong next to Lewis anymore” - you try to explain, taking a deep breath after those words leave your mouth. 

And you already know what she is about to say, when you notice the disapproval look on her face. “Y/N, I understand that you wanted to go to a different environment and all, I really do. But I think you’re being very very unfair towards Lewis now. No matter what, he was the one that stayed by your side through all this, during all this time. He was there when no one else was, not even me, and here you are, calling everyone you know - most people who didn’t even give two shits about your health, creating a new project with a team that pushed you to your limit, that put you in that hospital bed. And still, you don’t even give Lewis a ring? Not even to let him know that you remember everything now? I’m sorry, but I need to be honest with you. You can’t do that to him, especially if you remember everything about your marriage and your story together now” - Grace lectures you, growing annoyed by how you don’t seem to care about your husband anymore. 

You sigh once again, staying silent after hearing what she had to say. She ends up hanging the call, giving you time and space to think about her words. 

You know it’s bad, you don’t feel better about this either. But the truth is, even after remembering everything about your relationship with Lewis and everything that you two have been through together for the past eight years, your heart can’t help but see him as a friend now, and nothing more. Truth be told, you haven’t worn your wedding ring for some weeks now, you don’t feel the need to call him, to talk to him, and not even to be close to him anymore. 

Either way, you decide to put your thoughts and feelings to the side, focusing on work again. Your team is doing everything they can to make that documentary come true, and you’re almost done with your new songs, picking up every detail very carefully, already imagining everything about the new album’s aesthetic. When you check the time, you notice that six hours have passed by already, and your head is hurting now - a thudding pain, feeling a big migraine starting to form, almost reminding you that you are overworking yourself again.

 “Just because you got your memory back, it doesn’t mean that you are healed and ready to work for incessant hours again” - you could almost hear Lewis’ voice in your head, knowing him all too well to even guess the words that would leave his mouth, and that’s why you don’t want him to know about any of this. 

The pain will eventually go away - you hope. Your eyes are burning because of the screens, your head is hurting because you slept bad last night - you try to convince yourself. Or maybe you’re just feeling down now because Grace’s words are still playing in your mind, echoing so hard that it makes your body hurt. 

You can’t deny that you feel guilty - of course you do. It does hurt to know that you are pushing Lewis away, especially after remembering everything about you two. You know how happy you were with him, how special your connection was, and your mind keeps playing tricks on you, making you dream about having babies with him every single night. You can’t deny that it does feel lonely when you’re in bed alone at night. You loved the feeling of turning to your side and having him there, seeing how his face would show you a warm smile, how he would kiss your features so gently before cuddling your body, lulling you to sleep. And even if you do miss him, there’s a stronger feeling in your chest, a voice in your head that says “you don’t want him”. 

The confusion in your brain mixes with all the different feelings erupting in your heart. You rub your temples, silently praying for some clearance in your mind, wishing that life wasn’t so hard for you right now. You still need your time, you just want the world to stop for a second, so you can recover from all this, and get back on track. Your priority now is your upcoming project - the most personal one you’ve ever released. But you know there’s something that you need to do, something that you can’t keep on postponing. 

So you get inside your car, driving to Lewis’ house. Technically, it’s still your house as well, but you are preparing yourself to change that in a bit. All the lights are out, except for the light in his bedroom. You check the time - it’s 9:26pm, maybe he already had dinner, and he probably just had a shower, your memory knows his routine by heart. 

You have the key to the front door, but you decide to take a deep breath, before ringing the bell - you don’t want to invade his safe space. You see how the lights turn on while he walks downstairs, reaching for the handle to open the door - and it’s impossible not to note his surprised, yet confused and hurt expression when he sees you, standing in front of him. 

“Y/N?” - he asks, as if to confirm if it’s really you, like he can’t believe his eyes now. He can’t help but to look at you, into you, inspecting your figure - noticing you don’t have your bags with you, that no one else is here besides you two. 

“Hi, Lewis” - you quietly say, feeling how your nerves are making you feel like a coward now, like you can’t do what’s going through your mind.

He sees how you immediately go silent after saying his name, like it’s poison in your tongue. How your eyes dart to the floor, not daring to make eye contact with him, not even looking anywhere in his direction. And seeing you stings a bit, makes a puddle of agony grow in his chest. But it’s like he can’t feel anything besides that, so he keeps a cold expression on his face. 

Lewis clears his throat, as a way to catch your attention. “So, your dad drove you here?” - he asks, genuinely curious as to why are you standing alone in his front door, at night. 

You finally look up, gulping before you start talking. “Ehm, no. I drove here, actually” - you reply, pointing at your car. Lewis’ eyebrows furrowed in confusion - you didn’t remember how to drive, when you left his house, two weeks ago. 

You know you have to explain this to him - he, of all people, deserves to know. It’s not fair for you to keep him in the dark. 

So you take another deep breath, and you get ready to talk, when you are interrupted by him. “Do you want to come inside? It’s a chill night, you look like you’re shaking a bit” - he offers, at the same time that he curses himself mentally: no matter how hurt and upset he is, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about you. Unfortunately, he still does, and he can’t stop.

You walk in, weirdly standing in the middle of the living room, not feeling comfortable enough to sit down or anything. The conversation you need to have with Lewis is far too serious for you to be given any source of comfort, at this point.

He mirrors your body, putting his hands in his pockets as he stands in front of you, waiting for you to say something, but you don’t open your mouth, you lost the courage you were gathering just some minutes ago.

“Why are you here, then?” - he says, trying to break the ice. His tone comes out way more aggressively than he intended, making it seem like he’s feeling far too impatient to deal with you tonight. It’s not that he doesn’t want to see you - he’s just way too done with you playing games with him. And judging by your body language, and facial expressions, he just knows that you won’t be in his arms anytime soon - that’s not why you’re here. So he prepares himself psychologically to hear what you have to say. 

You are taken aback by the way his voice shakes your fragile senses, but you know you deserve it. After everything you’ve done, and everything you have to tell him, you would deserve a lot worse. 

So you finally open your mouth. “We need to talk, Lewis. That’s why I am here. We need to have a very serious conversation, regarding everything that happened during the last few months” - you explain. 

He just gulps, not saying a word. Instead of speaking, he stares deeply into your eyes, like he’s watching your soul - making you feel vulnerable in front of him, almost as if you’re naked. 

You try your hardest not to panic, taking deep breaths and organizing the thoughts in your head. “So, the good part is that I finally got my memory back” - you say, his eyes widening in surprise.

“Really?” - he quietly questions, his mouth slightly agape as he is not really sure of what this means. Does it mean that your old self is back? The sweet girl that he fell in love with, the woman who dreamed of having a family with him, is right in front of him again? Or does it mean that you remembered everything, and you still don’t feel an ounce of love for him running in your veins?

“Yeah” - you show him a small smile. You start fidgeting with your fingers, not knowing how to continue the conversation. 

“How do you feel, after remembering everything again?” - he asks, curious to see how you’ve been feeling now. 

You feel like you have to rethink what you’re gonna say four, five times, before actually speaking. You are walking on fragile eggs, measuring your words, not wanting to feel like you’re punching Lewis’ gut. “I feel very relieved, actually. It feels good to know who I am again, to have my life back without depending on anyone anymore” - he nods at your words, afraid to get his hopes up now. 

“Everything was very simple and fast when I got to my parents’ house. It was just a matter of hours until I started getting most of my old memories back and I-” - this is when you fucked up.

“What?” - Lewis interrupts you. “Wait. As soon as you got to your parents’ house?” - he repeats your words, an incredulous expression on his face now. His eyes grow darker, his stare gets more intense, making your body tremble harder, as you realize how you should've just kept your mouth shut.

You stay silent, guilty washing over you now, as some tears threaten to spill from your eyes. “... yes, Lewis. It’s been two weeks since I’ve gotten my memory back” - it’s all you can say, while you stare at the floor now, feeling way too embarrassed of your actions to face him now. 

He scoffs, he can’t believe what he’s hearing right now. His hands aren’t in his pockets anymore, they are fumbling with his hair, wrapped around his head as he tries to keep calm. “And you didn’t tell me anything?! I thought you were here to tell me that you got your memory back today, yesterday at max, not two weeks ago!” - his voice raises, even if he doesn’t mean to, but his blood is boiling now. 

“I really don’t mean shit to you, do I? You don’t call me back, you don’t even bother to text me so I can know that you are alright. I had to look into your instagram profile to see what was up with you, and you even privated your posts so I couldn’t see them - you just forgot to add my friends to that list” - his words are harsh, like he’s spitting fire into your soul now, making you feel as bad as you deserve, after everything you’ve done. Tears run down your face silently, but the salty water in your face isn’t enough to cure the burning inside of your heart. 

“And now it doesn’t even cross your mind letting me know that you’ve got your memory back? After everything that happened for the past few months?! What have I done to you, Y/N? What have I done that was so bad for you to treat me like this?” - he questions, and his hurt expression makes you feel like someone just buried a knife straight to your heart. 

He sits on the couch now, and you watch how his face is in his hands as he breathes heavily, trying not to cry, trying to keep some calm inside of his body - even after all this.

The truth is, you have no excuse - no excuse at all. You are just simply not good for him anymore. “I’m sorry” - it’s all you can whisper as you try and get closer to him, your hands trying to clean the tears that don’t seem to stop falling. 

He doesn’t answer you, he just wipes his face with his hands, really trying to calm down, not wanting his feelings to explode even more. 

You watch his movements, sniffing as you try to calm down as well - this conversation isn’t over yet. 

“I know it doesn’t matter how many times I say I’m sorry. You won’t forgive me, and you truly shouldn’t give me any more opportunities. I fucked up really bad, Lewis. I don’t deserve you” - you manage to say, even if your words are sounding choked from all the crying. 

He sighs. “What does that mean? What are you trying to say?” - if you’re going to break his heart once again, just do it, rip the band-aid once and for all.

“I can’t be with you anymore, Lewis. I am not good for you anymore, and I don’t want to feel stuck in a relationship where we are basically destroying each other emotionally, at this point” - you explain, your thoughts looking clear as water to you now. 

He closes his eyes, letting your words sink in his brain. He already saw this coming, he can’t deny it. But he can’t lie to himself - there was always that last bit of hope for him, and he’s sure that there will always be. 

He is defeated. It doesn’t matter how badly he tries to win you back - it’s just not happening. He just looks at you, while you two decide to stay silent. He tries to memorize your features one last time, and he can’t help but replay all the happy moments that he had by your side for the past eight years. All the songs you sang and danced to, all the laughs, the movie nights, the adventures, even the cries you both shared. It was all too special, something that Lewis never thought it would end, he was sure that he had found ‘the one’, and he would never lose you. You were the stability that he needed, the one certain thing that he could always hold himself to when things would get hard. And now, it’s like his boat has capsized, and he’s alone in the middle of the ocean. He feels cold, lost, drowning. 

“So, this is it?” - he can barely get any words out now, he doesn’t have the courage in himself to talk about this, to put an end to everything you had together. 

You nod your head, letting all the tears speak for themselves now. “It’s for the best, Lew” - you say, using the pet name that he loves hearing from your mouth so much.

Lewis’ head is hanging low for some seconds, before he looks at you again. His expression is blank, like he’s emotionless. He doesn’t know how to cope with this, even if a side of him was already expecting this. And then, after mentally arguing with himself, he just nods his head at you. “Be at peace with the things you can’t change” - the phrase echoes in his head. There’s no point in trying anymore, your relationship has reached the point of no return, now. 

He gets up from the couch, his body getting closer to yours, but never daring to touch you - he doesn’t want to give in, for his own sake. Instead, he looks at you one more time. He reads your eyes, records your scent, your features, every little detail that you hold in yourself in his mind. 

“I need to focus on myself, and on my career. I’m working on a new album and a documentary, to talk about everything that happened” - you let him know, not wanting him to be surprised once you start announcing your projects. It’s also a way for you to keep talking, the deafening silence making you uncomfortable. 

“Go live your life” - he says, looking so unsurprised, like he truly is trying to let you go without any remorse. “I truly hope you get what you’re looking for. I’ll try to find my path again as well, from now on” - he says quietly, breaking your heart into a million pieces. Lewis will always be the love of your life, no matter what happens, and you better believe that your heart has never felt so heavy as it does right now. 

“If you ever feel like falling in love, I can only hope that you will fall in love with me again” - he shrugs slightly, his voice croaking as some tears fill his eyes now, finally showing you just how broken he is too. 

“I’m so sorry for everything, Lewis. But you deserve so much better” - you cry, feeling the need to hug him more than ever now, but the way he keeps his distance lets you know that it’s just better if you don’t do it. 

“If you ever want to come back home, this place will always be yours as well” - he lets you know, mentally referencing that ‘this place’ means that he will always be yours too. As these words leave his mouth, he beats himself up in his mind: there he is again, holding himself to something that doesn’t exist anymore, trying to find a glimpse of hope in the middle of the dark, giving you the security and the understanding that you could never give him back.

Your heart is beating so loud, you bet that he can hear it as you two make eye contact for the last time, before you leave his house, noticing how he immediately closes the door behind you, not even waiting for you to get in the car - as he used to do before.

But nothing is as it was before, anymore. You can’t help but sob in your car, not having the will to drive away, silently not wanting to leave. You want to go back inside, you want to hug Lewis - but instead, you just see how every light in his house turns off. You can’t help but wonder if that’s a sign - telling you that your own light has dimmed a bit now as well. 

Lewis immediately starts sobbing as the front door closes. He finally lets the tears roll, adorning his face, covered in pain - the realization of the end could kill him now. No matter how many times he had thought about this already, hearing it from you always hurts the most. He’s completely lost, fucked out of his mind, trying to make sense out of all this, trying to find a meaning to his life now. For the next couple of days, he is sure that he will just spend his time crying his eyes out, mourning the loss of the love of his life.

You fucked up the best thing you had in your life. Your life was a dream, and now it’s just this tragic roller coaster, a mix of bad decisions that lead you here. You could’ve gone back, you could be lying with Lewis now, making up for all the lost time, cuddling and planning your life together. You look at your finger, noticing how it still has the ring mark - another sign of how your love is still very present inside of you, even if you just decided to put an end to it. 

You can’t explain it, it’s like the memory loss corrupted your feelings, confused your mind. Now, you are way too focused on your job to be falling in love all over again, you need to set your priorities, you’ve lost a lot of things already for the past three months. 

And if you needed help to do every single thing before, you sure as hell never needed any help to be destructive: that’s all that you’ve done during this time. You sabotaged everything you loved the most: your health, your career, your friends, your marriage.

You can’t help but feel like a villain, feeling so brutal and selfish, you too should never forgive yourself after all this, but this is where your life decisions have taken you, and you need to accept your new path. It’s like you have a monster inside of you, eating your old feelings, giving you ache and unfairness in return - so that’s what you give to everyone around you. 

The little voice in the back of your mind still tells you “you don’t want this”, “you don’t want him”, as you slowly drive away from Lewis’ house, hiccuping as your sobs grow louder, your vision blurry from all the tears. Your brain is replaying the disappointment splattered on his face, making it evident how badly you destroyed him. And you wish you could go back and fix it, but you can’t. This is your life now, and you should proceed your tragic path, alone - it’s the only way to prevent you from hurting anyone else. 

———

taglist: @illalwayswaitforyourlove @literallegendicon @goldenroutledge @scenesofobx @irishmanwhore @forza-charles @felicityforyou

[theorganasolo]

2024 Fic Rec List

I know I'm late (sorry friends) but wanted to do my end of year shout out to my favorite fics I've read! Most of these will be for Javi P because he's my beloved but onward we go!

Learning to Live by @wheresarizona Arizona, bestie, I love love love seeing how much this fic has grown and where you have taken Javi and Cielito over the years. You GET Javi so much and it comes across in your writing, very well. I appreciate every snippet you have texted me about these two - and I treasure our friendship as well <3

It's Never Too Late and Forever and Always by @javierpena-inatacvest MADELINE you have created such an amazing universe with these two stories! As a midwest girly who loves the Blackhawks (even if they suck) and Javier Peña it's so easy to put myself in reader's shoes - thank you for feeding me with the breeding kink in all your fics haha

Hubby and Wife by @notjustjavierpena - I really cherish every update you give in this universe! Every time I go I the javier peña x reader tag and see an update I get so excited! Love seeing Javi get the big family he deserves. I find myself rereading so many of the installments

Worth The Wait by @kteague K I constantly come back to this series so many times, it just hits so good, and I love the latest installment you gave us this year! Love these two so much!

First Anniversary by @wildemaven Heidi I love Poppy and Dieter so much! And this update on the pair of them was so sweet, I LOVE the interview format that you did, it was really unique <3

A Litany of Lethe by @kiwisbell I remember reading this at work at my jaw just dropping over how beautiful it is, you wrote Javi's turmoil SO well here - I really hope you write more for him because you just GET who he is.

Pump by @morallyinept First off let me just say you are SO talented for making this as hot as it is and it actually doesn't have that much smut! I love for the vivd description's of the man's dick so thank you for feeing my horniness

Spiaggia, amore e limone by @thundermartini - You gave me the dream of vacationing with Javi in Italy, this was such a joy to read!!

Firsts and When In Positano by @honeyedmiller You write Javi so so so well! When In Positano sent me to the moon in back with the honeymoon in Italy PLUS the baby making, I remember reading this several times <3

Tastes So Sweet by @jolapeno - When I say this DID THINGS TO ME when I read it (and then reread and reread it). Honestly your whole javi master list is amazing <3

The Hostage by @javier-pena - This was SO good! You really wrote the tension so well in this fic and it inspired me to read News of a Kidnapping. (also I literally am the most annoying in your notes reblogging your javi gifs every day so thanks for putting up with that aha)

Hummingbird Has Landed by @wardenparker Connie I absolutely adore your Soulmate Sunday fics and they really make my Sunday's brighter :) This was so so so fun to read, I loved every aspect of it!

Make Me Sweat by @itsokbbygrl - THIS WAS SO GOOD! The little part about y'all possibly having a baby gave me butterflies

Married Man by @mellowswriting MEL I love your Javi and your writing so so so much! The wedding band kink just GETS ME

Neighbors by @gothcsz When I say this SUCKED ME IN SO FAST, also the angst is literally killing me but you do it so well! Can't wait to see what else is in store here! (also it won't let me link to your story directly so linking to your Masterlist)

Landslide by @frenchiereading - This was so so so cute! I loved seeing Javi with his little family <3

Like Snow on the Beach by @guiltyasdave Combining my two loves of Javier Peña and Taylor Swift. I love the hopeful note this ended on.

Have a Good Night by @punkshort This was such a sweet story and really unique! I loved the flower shop aspect of it all <3

Honey by @yxtkiwiyxt I love the way you write Javi and this was such a fun holiday one shot!

Also want to shout out Maybe Today, Maybe Forever by @hopelikethemoon- Literally in my top 3 Javi fanfics, everyone needs to read this! It's 150 chapters of smut and Javi fluff - the world building is everything

And last but certainly not least a shout out to @manndo for simply being the best <3 - Mel there are literally no words I can put here but I cherish you so much!

[unusualcow]

It was very fun to draw Dionysus cuz I love drawing wavy hair and it easy to work with purple color for me. I wanted to capture him being god of wine and madness at the same time, so I gave him cool neon make up💅💅💅

Also wanna thank you all for kind words about my art!!!! It makes my day brighter to know that y'all like it😭💜💜💜

[herdarkestnightelegance]

Nocturnal eyes

Pairing: Astarion/ g/n Tav

Tags: vulnerable Astarion, angst, friendship, a bit of fluff

Length: 2.4k words

Summary: Astarion notices something is off with his eyes …

A/N: @nyx-knox out here once again, being the ✨best✨ beta-reader I could hope for!

Also: ARE Y'ALL FOR REAL?! Over 750 reactions on my Bedhead fic?? Thank you so much 🥹!!!

Taglist: @wilteddreamsofbaldursgate , @littlelovelore, @onlyancunin @chaoticbardlady99

::::::::::::::::::

Astarion sits in the soft green grass, enjoying the warmth of the setting sun.

Today had been exhausting. The party had finally left the wilderness behind and set up camp on the Mountain Pass. Tomorrow they will head to the Githyanki Crèche, but for now … he’s just relaxing, listening to the soft rustle of the trees above him with his eyes closed.

Because they are hurting again - his damned eyes - causing his head to ache in that awful stinging way. This has been happening semi-regularly since they crashed on that beach. By the end of every day, his eyes feel exhausted. Sometimes he even welcomed the night, the dark bringing relief to his vision, much as he hated to admit that he found any solace in the darkness after having been trapped in it for so long.

It’s not that he wants to be in the dark again - on the contrary! Oh, words could never express how much he enjoys the feeling of the warmth on his skin, the smell of sun-baked earth beneath him, filling him with life, making his undead heart swell with secret joy. It’s just …

“Truly, a sight to behold,” Gale had said, when they first stepped through the gate onto the Pass and were greeted by a magnificent view of the surrounding valley … Or at least Astarion assumed that’s what it was.

Because he can’t tell. Not really. In fact, all he sees are blurry, rugged shapes and a haze of earthy colors far off in the distance.

When Astarion had first opened his eyes after the crash, all he could do was gasp audibly. The sun seared his eyes, the light brighter than anything he had seen in centuries. Immediately, he had shielded his face from the merciless rays, curled into a ball, panic taking over. “No!” he yelped. It’s daytime! I can’t be out! Oh Gods, do I smell smoke? Am I burning up?? Am I disintegrating???

But a few heartbeats passed and to his surprise - and great relief - it was not a burning pain he started to feel. Rather, it was a sensation he thought he had forgotten but that he immediately recalled, having felt it lifetimes ago: The warmth of the midday sun.

Cautiously, he had uncoiled himself and tried opening his eyes again. Gods! It hurts. Of course, Vampire eyes are sensitive to the light, in order to see better at night. An essential trait for nocturnal creatures, predators, such as himself. His eyes hadn’t had to process so much brightness in … forever. So, being blasted with daylight for the first time in roughly 200 years - it hurt like all Hells! 

It took a few moments, but eventually Astarion managed to pry open his crimson eyes. And he began to see. To look. And he saw colors he hadn’t seen in too long. He saw the bright blue sky, the deep purples of the Nautiloid shipwreck, the turquoise water covered with the most beautiful shimmering reflections. Everything was bright. Everything was so vibrant! Everything was so … full of life. He looked up, squinting at the trees and their slightly blurred leaves. Those luscious, green leaves. Gods … I had forgotten how beautiful that particular color is … 

But there had been no time for him to enjoy all those new sights for long. He heard them before he saw them. The others. Friends? Enemies? He couldn’t tell. They were just indiscernible shapes in the distance - but as soon as he had lured one of them close enough to put a knife to their throat, he was back in survival mode, forgetting about the colors he had just reveled in.

That’s what he knew how to do, after all. Hitting his close target. And really, that’s all he should care about, that’s really all he actually needs to see. He’s a master at close-up melee combat, a rogue who sneaks up to his victims, dangerous with his blade. He’s skilled at picking locks and picking pockets. And he’s an amazing lover, always able to read every detail of his victims' expressions to make sure he hits that target just as well. All he needs to see clearly is what’s right in front of him, isn’t it?

But if he was being really honest … it’s not like his usual tricks have actually worked out for him so far, now have they? His first melee attack had earned him a headbutt to the face. He had woken his first victim while sneaking up on them. And he felt his nice little seduction plan for Tav slowly and steadily backfiring on him - but that was a problem for another time. So why not top it all off with embarrassingly inadequate vampiric eyesight to really emphasize it all, he figured?

Astarion opens his eyes again and looks at the hazy, blurred valley below, the wind tousling his white locks, and he scoffs. Ironic, isn’t it? Here he is, finally free from his captor. But of course, even out in the open, he’s not able to look beyond the confines of his own metaphorical cell. As if his eyes are still keeping him prisoner.

A sound behind him snaps him out of his thoughts. Again, he hears them before he sees them coming. Only this time he knows it is a friend. “Astarion?” Tav, he thinks with a knowing smile. He knows their voice anywhere.

“Yes, Darling?” he asks as their leader emerges from the shade of the trees.

Astarion grew to enjoy Tav‘s company quite a bit, if he was being honest. Not only during their passionate encounters, but also just sitting with them, talking about their journey, about the others in their party, sometimes even about his past, which he never thought possible when he had been pressing his knife to their throat just a short time ago.

“Enjoying the view?” they ask as they sit down next to him in the soft grass.

“Oh of course,” Astarion answers as he leans back onto his elbows.

“Especially the Crèche,” Tav continues, pointing into the valley, making casual conversation.

“Why, I agree. Who would have thought the Gith were such marvelous architects,” the pale Elf replies without missing a beat. 

It’s now that Tav turns to look at him. “... Except the Crèche is in the opposite direction?” they say cautiously. 

Shit. Astarion tenses.

He hates this. They know. Immediately he is prepared to snap, to throw a sarcastic comment back at them, telling them to mind their own damn business. Feeling exposed, he keeps his gaze fixed forward, part of him expecting to see mockery, or malice even, should he meet Tav’s eyes. But when he eventually looks up … all he sees is a knowing smile. Their face is so very clear next to him, and so is the genuine fondness that greets him in their expression. The same fondness he is secretly happy to see on Tav’s face every time they look at him.

Astarion takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want this, he doesn’t want his walls to go up. Not for Tav. He resists it, that stupid defensive mechanism and to his surprise, he actually relaxes a bit. “You noticed,” he says quietly.

Tav nods. “On our first day, actually.” His eyebrows go up in surprise. 

“Did you now?” the vampire asks.

“We climbed that platform next to the crash site, remember? You were first up. And you said there’s nothing to see.” Their tone is neither condescending nor reproachful. “But there was... A lot, actually. You know, like, the village? Or the goblin camp. Or, well, this mountain pass. So yeah, I noticed.”

Astarion scoffs. They were right, of course. And back then, he didn’t even realize there was something wrong with his vision. He had still been so overwhelmed with all the light and color, all this blue and green…

For a moment, both sit in silence before Astarion speaks up. “It’s all rather blurry, you know?” he finally admits aloud. “I never noticed it back in Baldur’s Gate.”

Tav listens and nods. “I thought vampirism cures all mortal ailments, even eye problems.”

“Well, maybe there are exceptions? Or maybe I’m just a sorry excuse for a vampire spawn. Honestly, I don’t know. It’s not like any vampire is able to look at vast illuminated landscapes during the day to notice if something is off.” he says in a slightly frustrated, even embarrassed tone, gesturing towards the sunset.

“Your eyes have been adjusted to the night for 200 years. So … maybe they just need a bit to adjust to the daylight now? Give it some time.” The optimism and sweetness in Tav’s voice makes the corner of Astarion’s mouth twitch up into a half-smile.

“Wouldn’t that be something,” he says. Maybe they are right. Maybe. 

This is when Tav clears their throat. “But uhm, until then …” Astarion’s pointy ears twitch slightly as he hears Tav rummaging in their pocket. When they procure something wrapped in a folded leather cloth, he sits up.

“What’s this?” he asked, and they hand him the flat parcel. Curiously, Astarion opens the wrapping. 

In his hand lies the most hideous pair of mismatched spectacles he has ever seen. 

Before he can say anything, Tav begins to talk. “I came across this half broken pair of looking glasses while looting some time ago, and I thought, well, while there is no way we would ever find the perfect pair, we might just try making a custom one, right? I mean, it’s obvious you’re straining your eyes. You might not say anything to us about it, and you don’t have to, but I can tell that you often have a headache by the end of the day, and I, well, wanted to help.” Astarion still says nothing, inspecting the wonky looking thing in his hands.

Quickly, Tav continues, compelled to explain. “But you have no idea how hard it is to find undamaged spectacles! I mean, it makes sense, right? Who would leave their eyes behind? So anyway, I started collecting all the glasses I could find, hoping for an intact pair, but well … eventually I ended up with … this.”

The pair of spectacles in Astarion’s hand was clearly made of two halves from different glasses, held together in the middle by a thin leather cord, wrapped around it several times and in several other places. “Both glasses seemed to be made for looking at things further away. Of course, I can’t say for certain. They are not for me, I mean, if anything, I should be looking into finding a pair for me, so I can finally read that book Gale won’t shut up about. But … anyway, I thought maybe they might be of use to you.”

It’s not often that Astarion is stunned into silence. Tav did this? For him? It takes him a moment to process this … act of kindness. But when he does, he leans over to Tav, turning their face to him with a finger beneath their chin, and softly kisses them. “They … are hideous, my dear,” he says against their lips, with a chuckle and a genuine, soft smile on his face.

“Yeah, I know,” Tav agrees, kissing him back, mirroring his smile, before pulling away. “Well go on then, put them on.”

And he does. Astarion puts on the mismatched, wonky pair of improvised spectacles, the right temple barely fitting over his ear.

“Well?”, Tav asks hopefully.

With the awkward thing perched in his elegant face, the vampire looks down into the valley and takes in an almost inaudible breath. It’s … much better than he could have hoped for. Yes, it’s far from perfect. The glasses are sitting on his aquiline nose lopsided and the left glass is not even close to what he probably needs, yet he feels that nagging strain on his eyes eases immediately.

But that’s not what stuns the pale Elf.

Just as the sun begins to disappear behind the mountains, casting long shadows and a warm orange glow on everything around them, Astarion sees. And all of it this time! For the first time in 200 years, he sees the crisp outline of the setting sun. He sees the mountain tops and ridges. He sees the glowing clouds. By the Gods…

“Astarion?” Tav asks timidly, but he does not react. They sit with him in silence then, watching him watch the sunset in wonder, those red ruby eyes they love so much squinting intently, unmoving, until the glowing disk disappears behind the horizon and the sky slowly begins to turn a lovely shade of purple.

It takes a moment for Astarion to stir again. Carefully, he takes the spectacles off his face as if it’s the most precious thing he has ever owned, before looking at Tav. A lot of things are going through his head at that moment, and - much to his ever-growing confusion - through his undead heart as well. This is not a thing you just do for a travel-companion. Why are you so nice to me? I do not deserve your kindness. “Thank you.”, he eventually settles on, and he knows to Tav those simple words convey everything. 

Tav smiles. “Don’t mention it,” obviously delighted their little gift has been accepted. Why in the hells his favorite travel companion, no, his lover, went out of their way to help him like this, he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Sure, they agreed to help him kill Cazador, but this is not the same! This is special. This is … caring. It is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for him. And he is truly, deeply grateful.

This gift would do wonders for his vision, at least until his nocturnal eyes fully embrace looking into the far distance during the day. He knows he will look so foolish with this contraption on his nose and he would probably have to kill Gale should the wizard ever see him with them on, but somehow he didn’t mind wearing these, looking silly, unsightly even, in front of Tav. They wouldn’t judge him, they wouldn’t laugh at him. Because he feels that they care.

After a moment, Astarion puts the spectacles back on, turning his head up to the tree branches above them, that stunning green of the individual, defined leaves still visible in the dim dusk light.

“You know, Darling …”, he says, “I really do love that color.”

[deep-space-netwerk]

Y'all, I'm getting emotional.

One of my absolute favorite astronomical bodies is the Crab Nebula, or Messier 1. The Crab Nebula is a "planetary nebula", which means it's the enormous, beautiful corpse of a once-giant star. The star that formed the Crab Nebula went supernova and exploded in 1054, and was so bright at the time of its death that you could see it from Earth during the day - for almost a month. For that month, it was brighter than every single thing in the sky except the moon and the sun. Some of you have probably heard of it, or have at least seen this Hubble picture:

But how many of y'all have zoomed in?

Inside all of those lovely rainbow clouds is the supernova remnant - a neutron star. A neutron star is made of the densest possible material that we know of - any denser, and it'd collapse the rest of the way into a full-fledged black hole. Neutron stars are so unimaginably dense that they're not even made of an element, not really. The star at the center of the Crab Nebula is one, single atomic nucleus 12 miles in diameter, made entirely of close-packed neutrons. One teaspoon would weigh 10 million tons. Imagine taking a passenger jet, condensing it down to the size of a mote of dust, and then filling a spoon with that dust. And it spins too - 30 times a second. That spinning causes huge jets of material to eject from the poles at half the speed of light. The incredibly powerful magnetic field traps any stray particles and accelerates them in circular paths through the nebula. Just LOOK at this shit! See the ghosty shadows of the jets, stretching from the top left corner to the bottom right?

But what's really making me lose it is this Hubble timelapse. The star is making ripples. Its moving. Its been dead for almost a thousand years, but its still putting on its final, spectacular show.

It never ceases to amaze me that the things we call "dead" stars are some of the most dynamic, energetic, and awe-inspiring objects in the universe. Normal stars are downright STAGNANT compared to what these so-called "stellar remnants" get up to. Maybe we shouldn't be thinking of them as dead stars, but as the next phase in a star's life. Just as caterpillars "end" their mundane lives and metamorphose into something new and strange and capable of flight, these stars destroy themselves to leave behind something far more exotic, playing at the edge of the laws of physics in ways we still don't fully understand.

[so-i-did-this-thing]

hi hello sir, I've just come across your posts and honest to god, thank you for ??? existing I guess. I don't have the right words to properly convey how i'm feeling other than extremely emotional. As a young trans guy it really is very uplifting to see people like me well into their lives, it genuinely fills me with hope that some day I'm gonna be who i was always meant to be and live my life as true to myself as I can. I live in a country where being who I am is downright dangerous and medical/social gender changes aren't an option at all, yet again, people like you encourage me to never give up and to keep on living despite everything, to grow up and become another light of hope for others who might find themselves in my position. I apologize for the long asks lol, and thanks again for making my day much brighter.

I hope y'all are aware that every time one of you sends in a message like this, it kindles my own spark to keep on keepin' on. ❤️