#y'all i fucking hate ptsd let me live my life

[yeslikethewizard]

My brain deciding to hit me with auditory hallucinations like I don't already have a hard time sleeping when it's appropriate to

[emmycron]

You know what I absolutely fucking hate? idk if other countries do it but in the uk, they put straight up gore on cigarette packets. Like "ohh this will happen to your lungs" or whatever. This, I imagine, does absolutely nothing to deter smokers because you tell literally any smoker that they're damaging themself because they smoke and they'll go "I know lmao".

The main people who will be affected by these images are kids, and you know what? craaaazy take? I think as a society, we should actually avoid subjecting children to potentially very traumatising gory and real pictures. These kids won't grow up not wanting to smoke, they'll grow up not being able to engage with SO many different things without full on breaking down. Countless career paths locked off for life. Lives will be ruined.

I wasn't traumatised by this, but I AM severely traumatised from childhood abuse, same condition, and let me tell you, now as an adult, life is hell and you do not ever get over it. So many things I just can't do, mundane everyday shit like water going down a fucking sink has me on edge. Being near babies will have me trying my hardest not to break down.

Barely anyone takes it seriously, because PTSD is "the thing only soldiers get" to most people. Like yeah I've never been to war and I can only imagine the horrors soldiers have to endure, but my god when every day feels like dodging bullets, you'd crack. The fact I'm alive is a miracle.

Whoever was responsible for this has just subjected so many people to a life of torture. What the fuck were y'all thinking.

Even not including kids, I imagine MOST PEOPLE are not too fond of seeing gory shit when casually going about their day. That being said, because it just reminded me, why the fuck is every other social media just liveleak now? Like sure, I go onto twitter to watch porn and jerk off and see someone get shot to death instead 👍 there is no way this shit is advertiser friendly, but it keeps showing up! Someone's allowing it for a reason, so I do wonder, what the fuck are they preparing us for? Are they trying to desensitize the public in the event of a war breaking out? UK seems to be heading towards a civil war rn. Shit's crazy

[fktonofwhatnow]

The Rhys/Tamlin 180 in ACOMAF makes me mad! Like there’s wasted potential there, even if Rhys is endgame. The concept of after the happily ever after is actually pretty cool. There’s real potential in looking at how Tamlin and Feyre deal with the trauma of Amarantha. Having two people realized they’re not right together while still respecting each other is a more adult take than “surprise, Tamlin sux now”, and allows for Feyre to actually make real choices and grow. What's your ACOMAF rewrite?

Damn YALL ARE SPOILING ME WITH THE TAMLIN ASKS ☺️☺️ thank youuu for the ask @havenfable

THIS IS AGREAT POINT TOO WAIT WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT ALLOWING FEYRE TO ACTUALLY MAKE REAL DECISIONS !! YOUR BRAIN !! you guys are spectacular eat a cookie you have earned it 

Ok my thoughts are not quite coherent rn so I’ll try to make sense. I’ve tried writing this like 4 times and every time it just doesn’t work so bear with me here thank you I love you ok here we go. 

Ok I’m gonna start by saying that there is something to be said about Feyre as the narrator and her being an “unreliable” narrator of sorts. The story is about her, told from her perspective. I don’t expect her to have objective views of what happens around her. one thing I found interesting was that she said in conversations with people that she knew Tamlin was struggling, but when we would be listening to her internal monologue, when she thought of him it was mostly to blame him for not knowing she was struggling. (or if he did know, he didn't do anything about it) So like, same thing with the whole thing with Rhysand's mom and sister, we don't know what Tamlin thinks or feels about the situation because he doesn't talk about it and Feyre never asks. (But oh DAMN Sarah should not have given me room to speculate.) Like, UTM broke Feyre right, she tells us that much. Why are we not allowed to believe that it destroyed Tamlin too.

Here we are again, just like with Rhysand's family. I don't blame Feyre for literally needing help, and I do blame Tamlin for not helping her, but to a degree. I hated how the whole situation was handled like Tamlin was shit for not trying to help Feyre (even tho he was, just not in the way she needed), but then Feyre literally not lifting a single finger to try to help Tamlin is ok because he's a man and he can just suck it up and take it. ???? No ? That's not how we handle trauma? Like, my homeboy is fighting a losing battle against this shit and he's the one who's gotta fix everything for Feyre?

But like you said, just a tiny little bit of helpful communication would have done wonders. How about a lil, "hey you ok?" ???? LETS TALK ABOUT IT! Let's talk about how we're falling out of love, let's talk about what Tamlin experienced under the mountain, let's talk about what Feyre experienced under the mountain, let's talk about how maybe we were never good for each other and how we move on with our lives from that! POTENTIAL !! LETS HAVE THEM GROW "Surprise! Tamlin sucks now!" bitch how. Literally how. How did this happen. How did we get here. Tell me. I want to know SJm. Stop being a coward and tell me. You know what, I'll do it for you.

Damn this is about to be super duper long I'm so sorry. 

Alrighty guys once again, I love Tamlin with my whole chest, but I do put a hefty chunk of this on him. From what SJm tells us about Tamlin, he is a fearful individual. His responses to fear are either to freeze or to explode. Both extremes hurt people around him. His actions hurt people, and his lack of action hurts people. Also, for as often as he says the word sorry, he doesn't really show any signs of change or improvement. While I understand that yes , changing your behavior is hard, especially if you're not getting help and don't know how, Tamlin still could have tried a little more, pushed just a little harder, and yes, he could have been better.

But Tamlin is scared. He's scared of things outside of his control, he's scared of change, he's scared of people he loves leaving him or getting hurt. I'm willing to bet he's scared of himself, and rightfully so. He lashes out and it only ever hurts people. I can't believe he's blind to it. When he destroys the study, he's clearly afraid he hurt Feyre.

(i think I’m gonna do my acomaf rewrite headcanons in a different post, every time I try to write them here it doesn’t flow oooof lemme know if thats something you want ahahah I could talk about this shit forever) 

And like, being subject to someone else's fear is stifling. I don't blame Feyre for getting the hell out of there.

BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I know I've said this before: in my opinion, Tamlin has the best depiction of trauma in the whole fucking series. PTSD is a bitch and Tamlin is losing to it. The thing I loathed about acomaf/the beginning of Acowar is how Tamlin isn't given help and then treated like an absolute asshole for it. SJm could have done so much if she had Tamlin learn to ask for help. We can't all just have a Rhysand who knows every thought we have. Sometimes we have to ask for help, as much as we don't want to. That would have done wonders for Tamlin's character arc. And I think that he should have leaned heavily on Lucien for that.

Now look, Lucien deserves a lifetime of free chiropractor visits to relieve the soreness from carrying the entire series solely by himself on his own back. If I'm the one to pay for that for him, so be it. I would do anything for this man.

Lucien deserved so much better than to be bulldozed by the narrative. I refuse to believe that he would let Tamlin use him as a doormat. Lucien deserved to tell Tamlin off on his behavior ok. Lucien deserved a fucking backbone that he had all of acotar and then SJm decided that he was the character who got to suffer for the decisions of every other characters so they didn't have to. Stupid. (At this point I wouldn't be surprised if Rhysand's cum from having sky sex with Feyre fell directly on Luciens face. That's how much SJm likes pummelling him)

Lucien deserves to be strong and tough and emotionally available, especially for Tamlin. I don't think he deserves to be abused by his best friend. I've read fics that make Tamlin like this jackass who's not sad at all that Amarantha forced him to whip his best friend. Are you fucking kidding me. I feel like if Tamlin was going to cling like hell to someone through all of the shit before, during and after UTM, it should be lucien. But no SJm needs us to know Tamlin is a bad guy now. He hurts everyone with no remorse!!! What a villain!!! That was a sin.

Acomaf deserved to be two people talking about how maybe this relationship wasn't going to work out. This book deserved to be Tamlin getting up the courage to as Lucien for help. This book deserved to be Lucien always telling Tamlin that he would be there for him and us getting to watch the two of them overcoming their hardships together. This book deserved to be Feyre choosing her own path, choosing her own family, choosing to live her life as she wanted.

But nah. Rhysand's got a fat cock and uhhh y'all need to like it more than y'all like Tamlin's dick. Also Rhysand is a feminsisist. So suck it.

(If this book was really about giving Feyre a choice, SJm would let her make actual decisions that actually impacted herself and the story instead of just having Rhysand give her two extremes with one of them being obviously the right choice and then tell her whatever she wanted to do was her choice. Feminism.)

Did any of that make any sense. Any at all. No? Yeah I didn't think so anyways I've spent like a week on this I'm tired and I wanted to get it out there. Acomaf was a mess but at least it wasn't Acowar hahahahaha

[meowmeowmessi]

Was Dean really so abusive towards Sam through out the whole series?

I have been seeing some Dean hate a lot 😔 about him being oh so abusive to Sam. I know most of it probably because of season 9 gaslighting. That was so in character for him tho, like he will do anything to prevent Sam from dying. His whole character is protecting Sam, I’m not sayin what he did right in anyway, but I understand... he was desperate. And all the violence was when he was under the influence of the mark. I can’t seem to recalll anytime when he was downright abusive towards Sam. Was he?

Aw nonnie, don't feel down -- there's still plenty of Dean love to go around! *hugs*

Since you brought up s9, I'll start from there! Personally, I agree with you. I know it's a horribly unpopular opinion and Sam stans will crucify me for this one (which is something I find myself saying a lot lately.......), but I wasn't at all shocked or offended by what Dean did in s9. I mean, was it horrible? Yes. Fucked up? Oh yeah, definitely. Probably the most fucked up thing one brother has done to another in the whole show imo. But what were you expecting? It's Dean. Dean NOT stuffing an angel inside Sam to keep him alive and instead letting Death reap his soul would've been ooc as hell??? Jensen said so himself, Sam is the brother who has the strength to live on without Dean, not Dean (not that it means Sam loves him any less, ofc not. Just that they love in different ways). Once again, Dean gaslighting Sam was pretty horrifying, I won't deny it, but spn isn't a sunshine and rainbows kind of show. Sam and Dean's codependency is fucked up, but it's FICTION, so you can't apply your everyday logic to them. Now an argument can be made that the narrative during that arc was pretty skewed by being quite partial to Dean. Having Dean realize what he'd done wrong and apologize would've been nice and restored balance to said narrative, but we didn't get a chance to see that bc Dean went and took on the Mark, and the rest you know pretty well. Honestly? I kind of don't care anymore bc it's clear that after s10 (aka starting from s11) Dean has improved SO MUCH and I think his extra protectiveness of Sam in s11 was partially a result of the guilt Dean might have felt over the whole MoC deal and turning-into-a-demon-and-nearly-killing-Sam business. My humble opinion is that post s10 Dean has had significant growth and trying to hate on him by bringing up shit he did in the previous seasons is pretty juvenile.

For example: I stumbled upon a meta once about what a dick Dean is bc in s15 he tricked Sam into eating bacon by telling him it was actually veggie burger and equating it with the whole Gadreel mess and I was like ?????????? Are y'all high???????? I agree that a person's dietary preferences should be respected without question, but maybe take off your Literature Student Glasses for one goddamn second and try to see the scene for what it is? A big brother joking around and messing with his little brother to cheer him up? It's not that deep dude. Idk what to tell y'all, but siblings do be like that.

The Gadreel thing and the MoC issue aside, another thing bitter Sam stans bring up to paint Dean as "abusive" is the panic room incident of s4. Which is... pretty iffy, ngl. Bc when I was watching s4 I myself hated Dean (and Bobby) for putting Sam in the panic room without even telling him. It was pretty cruel. And while I STILL have gripes about it, I think it's just another example of how the show is fucked up, Sam and Dean's dynamic is fucked up (said with affection), and how Dean treats Sam like his possession. Sam is his. He gets to decide Sam's fate. He will revive Sam, he will (almost) kill Sam, and the authority to make those decisions is his, not Sam's. Bc once again, in Dean's eyes he pretty much owns Sam. After all, he's his little brother. Fucked up, yes, but you're kind of an idiot if you expected anything healthy out of these two.

And there's Dean hitting soulless Sam in s6 when he tells him there's something wrong with him. The thing is, Dean didn't give a shit about soulless Sam. None. Once he realized that Sam's soul was missing he was hell bent on getting it back, and he didn't give a flying fuck about the soulless version of his brother. And soulless Sam knew that. Imo Sam at that point was just an empty shell to Dean and he didn't care about hitting him and hurting him. Bc the one he really cared about was the Sam WITH his soul intact. Dean was positively BEAMING when Sam got his soul back and was acting like his usual empathetic self again and not the cold soulless one. And he was so so careful with him after Death erected the wall in his head. Hell, Dean temporarily died to make that deal with Death. How could you possibly say that Dean doesn't love Sam?

Other minor things that bitter Sam girls/Dean haters use to prove that Dean is "abusive" include: Dean punching Sam in s2 (in the episode where they meet Gordon for the first time. Can't recall the name of the episode rip). Dean was hurt and angry and grieving John, and yeah, maybe that's not any reason to hit Sam, but he's human. He's more prone to violence than Sam is. Doesn't make him abusive. Siblings hit each other all the time, dude. It ain't that big of a deal. And Dean even apologized afterwards. And Sam FORGAVE HIM. Same goes for Dean punching Sam in s7 imo. Anger born of worry and all that.

And lastly, one meta madness I've seen is how Sam flinches whenever Dean has an outburst of anger. Some people use this as proof that Dean (and throw John in the mix too why don't you -_-) abused Sam as a kid and that's why he reacts that way. Which is such utter bullshit lol. Sam has PTSD. He flinches at the sound of closing doors, when he hears sudden footsteps, and just any abrupt noise in general. It has nothing to do with Dean aBuSiNg him as a kid and everything to do with the trauma he suffered throughout his life as a hunter (and then there's the Cage. And the multiple times he's been sexually assaulted. And on and on and on...) (and the reason why Dean doesn't have the same reaction as Sam is bc the symptoms of PTSD are different for everyone, bc rest assured, he too has trauma).

This is just my personal opinion tho! You can think whatever you want, but for me, Sam and Dean's relationship really can't be judged based on our standards of "normal". The things they do to (and for) each other are all part of their codependency. So no, I don't think Dean is abusive to Sam. He's done shit that can be called abusive, sure, but Sam and Dean operate on a moral compass that's completely different from our own, and we have to consider their actions with that in mind.

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 18

First time reader click here

TWs/Summary: We stan ✨women in science✨. Bruce uwu. Twitter social media AU nobody asked for. Stephen and Tony are dicks and I'm not talking about their anatomy. Setting up mood for Bruce smut, ngl. PTSD makes things spicy. I'm depressed so please be kind ✌🏻💀🙃

"I really do wonder how can you two fit those egos of yours in your pants," I kept my tone forcefully casual, cheerful even. "Why don't you just fuck already?"

I was met with stunned silence. Suddenly, the room seemed far too large and the people in much too quiet, staring at me with various expressions of horror obvious in their faces. As the strange friendship began developing between me and the team, my "outbursts" - how Steve liked to call them - lessened considerably. I had no need to provoke them into giving me attention, just striking up a casual chat was enough. The Avengers were great conversationalists, to my surprise.

Tony and Stephen, when paired, were the exception. I could count on one hand the amount of times they successfully came to a conclusion without fighting like cats and dogs. It was like each man had made it a personal mission to verbally top the other, more often than not resulting in a thirty-minute shitshow ending with one storming off in a dramatic flourish. It was mind-boggling how two supremely intelligent men could not find a way to communicate efficiently without infuriating the rest of the team.

Plus me. One way or another, I was almost always around. In the beginning, it was hilarious to see the free circus but it got old really quickly when they couldn't decide on dinner or a movie, leaving the rest of us starving and bored. Or the great Cloak debate - that one lasted days and the fussy thing was so upset, it point blank refused to part from Peter for a substantial amount of time. It's pretty fucking creepy that a semi-sentient, ancient piece of outerwear watches you when you sleep - just sayin'. I personally interjected with my own snark and sass whenever Tony and Stephen got too heated, successfully drawing the attention to myself. The fight broke up and I had amazing sex with Tony later, it was a win-win scenario.

Yet, Tony and Stephen didn't stop. To me, their way of "talking" (and I use that term loosely) looked a lot like unresolved sexual tension. Stephen frequently used his greater height to tower over Tony in a childish attempt to establish dominance; the engineer was no rookie and responded with extravagant peacocking such as "subtly" tapping the bracelet that hosted his nanotech suit or parading at dinner in a $30,000 custom made designer outfit. Because Tony could.

I was pleasantly surprised when Natasha started laughing at my remark. Full-blown, belly laugh. Those were rare, coming from the Widow, her usual mirth was quiet, sophisticated, just like her. Deadly (adorable). Bucky followed suit, snorting together with Clint and Loki.

Steve looked none too pleased with me. But then again, was he ever? "Doll, don't be rude."

"Brat," Bruce said at the same time, palming his face.

"People always call me a brat. And guess what, Steve?" I popped my hip, twirling a cotton candy pink coloured Dum-Dum between my fingers. "What can you do about it? Nothing," I shrugged, leaning my head against Bruce's shoulder affectionately.

Steve just shook his head in disappointment. "Can we get back on topic? Please?"

"Captain, I think that Stark..." Strange began talking with Tony dramatically groaning in the background and I instantly tuned out the useless babble. Steve should've been smarter and revoked speaking rights from Tony and Stephen. Or asked Loki to magically render them both mute for ten minutes.

"You're not wrong," Bruce quietly whispered next to my ear. "Ten bucks says Wanda meddles and those two finally work out their frustrations," The scientist hid a grin against my head. I felt the amused, giddy energy radiating off him like a plasma beam.

"I don't even have to bet," I rolled my eyes. "If she doesn't do it, I will."

Both Tony and Stephen were throwing me equally infuriated glances. One promised me a good, hard fucking and the other saw me a short, poisonous lecture on appropriate behaviour in the nearest future - you can guess which is which. If I had it my way, I'd skip the lecture and go straight to a hot, filthy threesome with two men twice my age. I wasn't blind, Strange was hot as hell and could be decent and even nice once in a blue moon.

He could, but he wouldn't be. I wanted that raw, unadulterated lust, tension so concentrated it walked the razor's edge between violent craving and repulsion. Ever since the incident with Clint, I had this ugly mess inside of me, like a live wire about to snap. My brain was constantly racing, darting between how utterly useless I am in a group of supers and embracing my normal-ness, amplifying it by hosting game nights and spending time trying to convince people to start a dungeons and dragons campaign. Or something.

My sleep was like Swiss cheese, riddled with holes where I stayed awake for one or two hours at a time in the middle of the night after waking up sweaty, with my heart hammering out of my chest. Sometimes I dreamt of Clint's lifeless, sickly white body, sometimes the whole room flooded with blood and I couldn't stop it no matter what, there was so much of it, I drowned in it, I startled up with the taste of it in my mouth. Rarely, the worst of it came - the one where Clint was alive as millions of millions of little fluorescent, poisonous jellyfish burst out of him and he screamed and screamed and screamed...

I had PTSD. Yay, me. As if my uselessness wasn't enough of a burden, my brain decided for me that it wasn't good enough that I saved Clint and now it was punishing me for being close to a group of people who routinely saved the WORLD.

I contemplated my usual habits - going to a party, getting trashed and dancing until my legs were numb. I just wanted to shut my brain off for a moment, give it a hard reset so-to-say, but with Tony on my back like a jet-pack, I didn't doubt he'd show up to the place and drag me out of there even if I was kicking and screaming. And he was a Stark, a billionaire, so visiting my dad in Cali wouldn't be possible on my own. Tony would gas up the jet and the rest of the team would find and excuse to tag along, too. As much as I loved being the baby menace who could get away with anything, I hated the way they all herded me, like I was an actual child. I couldn't get away from myself, not even for a moment.

I had the backup-backup plan and I was going to have to execute it. Desperate times, desperate measures. "I don't doubt y'all enjoy listening to Tony and Steph flirt," The nickname escaped unmoderated from my lips before I could catch myself. "But what are we doing for Halloween? I need to know if I gotta get a costume," Bruce chuckled next to me and wrapped an arm around me, happy for the distraction. Unlike me, the scientist was obligated to listen and participate in the avengers-themed discussion. Which was difficult because the engineer and the sorcerer constantly bickered, inadvertently taking over the talk.

"Halloween?" Steve groaned.

"We should do something," Bucky side-eyed his boyfriend. "For the children." Something told me he wasn't thinking of the children, at all. The man was positively leering, probably thinking about what kind of a tight suit he could convince Steve to squeeze into.

"A party!" Tony immediately exclaimed, interrupting Stephen mid-setence.

"Tony, no," Steve stated firmly.

"Tony, YES!" Clint perked up. "A snack bar. A bar-bar."

"I will not be helping you all if you get alcohol poisoning," Stephen crossed his arms.

"So it's a party," I stated firmly, throwing a contemplating look at Wanda and Pietro. The twins looked unsure but excited. I knew I could count on fellow young people to support my decision to have fun, dance a little, drink a little. Let loose. To nail my point, I turned to Bruce with a mischievous smirk. "Fifty bucks says Stephen is too stuck up to show up in costume."

"Beg pardon?!" The sorcerer exclaimed. His eyebrows threatened to meet his hairline.

"I think you give him too little credit, Princess," Bruce winked at me and we solemnly shook hands. It was great having a fellow partner in mischief. Loki's approving smirk just sealed the deal for me.

"It's not my fault you sometimes act like you have a stick up your butt," I gave in the way of explanation, shrugging my shoulders innocently in Stephen's direction. "I'm just pointing out the obvious."

"I don't dare to imagine what's been up yours," The sorcerer retorted dryly, in an uncharacteristically childish fashion, arms still crossed. It almost looked like he was pouting.

"Tony," I simply said, leering salaciously at the man.

"Ooh, kinky," Clint reached over and we promptly high-fived each other in the wake of multiple embarrassed groans emanating around the room. "Strange, you're a boring old man, get over it."

"And you regularly end up in dumpsters, Barton," Strange retorted quickly. "Not my idea of fun."

"You wouldn't know fun if it hit you in the face!" Tony grinned triumphantly, confident in his superiority over Strange. Look at that, the team was doing the work for me and I didn't even have to try.

"I'll show you fun," Stephen retorted darkly. It was obvious the man was planning something.

"Ok, boomer," I raised my eyebrows in muted satisfaction before turning around and grabbing Bruce to drag along with me. "I'm confiscating your best scientist to amuse myself. I am bored. We will go and do actual science whilst y'all argue. Bye."

My patience had run out. We were examining the parasites we found in the murder-anthropods-from-space, codename MAFS, courtesy of yours truly, and their amazing properties to penetrate cell membranes and feed on metals in organic life forms. Without Bruce's help I understood maybe half of it but he had the patience of a saint and dutifully and understandably explained to me the finer points of studying aliens. Signing half a dozen NDAs was never more worth it.

Steve's sigh consisted of 99% suffering and 2% disappointment. Natasha face-palmed silently in the corner, clutching a mug of coffee, a poster child for existential dread.

"Wait for me," Tony whined, going for the door and promptly being stopped by Steve pointing out the team needing his input on one mission or another. The engineer sighed. "Baby girl, don't let the green mean to start any experiments without me." Tony instructed, pointing an accusatory finger in our direction.

I clutched at Bruce dramatically, feigning hurt feelings and was rewarded with a swift motion of his arms. I shrieked delightfully at being thrown over the scientist's shoulder as he hastened his pace towards the elevator, hightailing it out of there. "I'd never snitch on science daddy," I wiggled my eyebrows in Tony's direction, sticking a hand down the back pocket of Bruce's pants, dangling over his shoulder like a happy sack of potatoes.

The lab smelled strongly of alcohol and bitter chemicals, the solution that Bruce developed to ensure the optimal state of the alien pathogens. The man's genius never ceased to amaze me: Bruce came up with the needed formula in the span of a few hours while running low on sleep, post a Hulk-out session.

We put on our protective gear - "science onesies" I called them - along with a respirator and goggles and set to the segregated part of the lab where the specimens were kept under a blue light. The glass wall between Bruce's and Tony's lab was dimmed; I reflected in it, looking positively futuristic in my double-stacked white platformed boots and white hazmat suit.

"Wait," I motioned to Bruce to come over.

"Oh, right, our music," He was already half-way to being in total Science Mode. "Friday, please put on the "Get Schwifty" playlist, 60% volume."

The playlist that me and Bruce came up with for our lab sessions. The man was such an adorable dork. Thirty percent my music, thirty percent of his indie rock shit and forty percent 00's bops. In other words, utter perfection.

I finally managed to fish out my phone from my pants. "No, let's take a selfie," I struck an impressive pose and pointed the camera as Avril Lavigne sung the first verse to Sk8r Boi.

Bruce laughed but abided by the request, giving me bunny ears in the photo, tapping the fingers of his other hand on my waist to the rhythm of the song.

"He was a skater boy, she said see ya later boy!" I sang along, switching my Instagram to stories and posting the short clip of us just vibing with the caption #sciencetime, Bruce laughing openly behind his respirator. I looked cute and silly in my outfit.

"Send the video to me, I'll post it on my Twitter," Bruce requested. I indulged him then put my phone away, ready to conquer the world of microbiology. Or die trying. Science was calling...

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie

[whatamidoingwithmylifeman]

Mortal Kombat 11 Michiko vs Canon intro fight dialogues pt 2

CW: PTSD mention  Michiko, Reiki, Nozomi, and Krow are my OCs. Reiki is genderfluid and goes by she/him pronouns.

here you go @deepinthefog here is the rest of the dialogues 

please read below the cut

Michiko: Just how sharp are your teeth Baraka?

Baraka: Sharp enough to tear through your bones.

Michiko: I’d like to see you try.

Michiko: So how long have tarkatans been around?

Baraka: Long before either of your kind.

Michiko: That’s not what the books in Fuyuka’s temple say.

Michiko: You may have blades, Baraka, but I have saws!

Baraka: But aren’t you scared of-

Michiko: werenotgonnatalkaboutthat!

---

Michiko: Cassie….Cage is it?

Cassie: The one and only!

Michiko: Oh good! Thought I had the wrong Cassie for a minute there.

Michiko: Did you and your dad really come up with “ship names” for Reiki and I?

Cassie: Yup! I propose the idea of… FireFox!

Michiko: .. oh by the gods.

Michiko: I heard someone’s got a little crush on a certain ice gal.

Cassie: Who told you I liked Frost?

Michiko: You did!

---

Michiko: For the last time. I. am not. From. the Netherrealm!

Cetrion: But wasn’t your mother a corrupted Nymph?

Michiko: Both my parents were corrupted and none of them are from the Netherrealm.

Michiko: Were you one of the Gods responsible for the massacre of the Karasugawas?

Cetrion: No, but I know of the Gods who were.

Michiko: Names. Now!

Michiko: Why are you crying?

Cetrion: I can sense great pain in you young one

Michiko: please don’t read any further…

---

Michiko: Did you seriously try to stab my fiancé!?

D’vorah: She tried burning the hive

Michiko: You keep your hive the fuck away from her!

Michiko: Are you seriously trying to say that you’re the one responsible for the massacre of the Karasugawas?

D’vorah: And this one will finish the job!

Michiko: Nice try D’vorah, but I know bugs hate fire.

Michiko: You hate fire, but do you like ice?

D’vorah: This one would like it to see a demonstration.

Michiko: Then you’re gonna get one!

---

Michiko: I have found something other than buzzsaws that I hate

Erron: And would that be, Michiko?

Michiko: Guns! Why are they so loud!?

Michiko: For the last time, I did not lie about what happened between me and Bi Han.

Erron: I was told y'all hooked up at the tournament.

Michiko: What idiot told you that?

Michiko: How much did my brother pay you?

Erron: He paid me half a million to bring ya home.

Michiko: So how much would I need to pay you to drop this hunt?

---

Michiko: I’m sorry, you want me to what!?

Frost: Take me with you and Reiki!

Michiko: Are you really willing to leave everything behind?

-

Michiko: Alright kid, rule number one, no keeping secrets

Frost: What if I just don’t want to talk about something?

Michiko: I can respect that.

-

Michiko: I need to know exactly what my brother and Bi Han have said about me.

Frost: All good things.

Michiko: I think you and I have two very different version of good things.

---

Michiko: Step aside Fujin.

Fujin: Whatever Cetrion told you, was a lie!

Michiko: I’VE SEEN THE DAMAGE DONE BY YOUR BROTHER AND THAT FIRE GOD!

-

Michiko: Do you still think I can achieve humanity Fujin?

Fujin: You were raised as one, so yes.

Michiko: Oh was I?

-

Michiko: Ok but like, do you know any Elder God that would bless Reiki and I?

Fujin: Michiko, they've been slaughtered by Cetrion.

Michiko: …. Oh. Damnit!

---

Michiko: Hey, how old would you say I look?

Geras: Without the knowledge of your origins, I say 31.

Michiko: You’re actually right.

-

Michiko: What does a demon benefit from a titan?

Geras: What did the Nymphs do for the Gods?

Michiko: Everything, with nothing in return.

-

Michiko: if there is no assurance for Reiki’s safety then I cannot work for Kronika

Geras: What if I told you, she could return your bloodline to you?

Michiko: I could not live with myself if Reiki were to die.

---

Michiko: How do you plan a wedding?

Jacqui: still working on that myself

Michiko: ah damn. Good luck though.

-

Michiko: Do you have any more relationship tips?

Jacqui: Boundaries and communication are key.

Michiko: We got the boundaries covered

-

Michiko: Normally I wouldn’t say this, but your arm enhamencents are cool!

Jacqui: What do you mean, normally?

Michiko: Have you seen what happened to the Lin Kuei?

---

Michiko: Where did you find all that information from

Jade: In a hidden temple on Shang Tsung’s Island

Michiko: So that’s where it is. I’ll have to inform Nozomi.

-

Michiko: So, why did you want to know if I worked for Quan Chi or not?

Jade: To see if you were friend or foe. 

Michiko: I think you Mama Nozomi would get along.

-

Michiko: Ok, look, I’m not gonna beat in Hanzo’s head with your staff.

Jade: Then who’s head are you going to beat in?

Michiko: Sektor’s.

---

Michiko: What’s the worst form of therapy one could get?

Jax: Electric shock the-Michiko?

Michiko: I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean

-

Michiko: If you must know, my brother, Sektor, used to call me little birdie

Jax: Oh, is that still a good thing?

Michiko: Yeah it is. But you’re not telling him that!

-

Michiko: How’d you lose your arms?

Jax: It’s a long three part story.

Michiko: I have time.

---

Michiko: I never said you were cooler, I just don’t argue with children.

Johnny: You’re one to talk, kid!

Michiko: Fight me old man!

-

Michiko: So, what nickname should I give you?

Johnny: How about, Mr. Cool guy? No no! Superstar!

Michiko: I got it! How about, foolish star!

-

Michiko: Here you go!

Johnny: What is it?

Michiko: an invite to mine and Reiki’s wedding.

---

Michiko: The difference between life essence and souls is, you can live without one. Kabal: Which one?

Michiko: Would you like to find out?

-

Michiko: Just how fast are you?

Kabal: Faster than the speed of light.

Michiko: I would be impressed if I knew how fast that was.

-

Michiko: Your speed, my snow drift, let’s go! Kabal: When and Where?

Michiko: Right here! Right now!

---

Michiko: I’m sorry, my brother paid you HOW MUCH!?

Kano: Poor blokes desperate to get ya home.

Michiko: My home is with Reiki!

-

Michiko: Um, Kano, I’m not gonna bring you the medallion

Kano: Not like anyone would know you’ve gone back.

Michiko: That thing almost broke and I died the last time I touched it. So no!

-

Michiko: Look, if Reiki gets hurt, deals off

Kano: Look, Shang Tsung just need a bit of Reiki’s fire and we’ll be good to go

Michiko: Ok deal’s definitely off! When the hell was he involved?

---

Michiko: So you were adopted too?

Kitana: In my circumstances, unfortunately.

Michiko: Ouch! I feel that.

-

Michiko: Hey, who told you that I was called a princess?

Kitana: Noob Saibot.

Michiko: Oh of course he- wait what!?

-

Michiko: Reiki and I appreciate your refuge

Kitana: Must you go already Michiko?

Michiko: Until the hunt stops, Reiki and I must travel.

---

Michiko: Hey Kollector! Here’s your coin!

Kollector: I’ll teach you to throw ice balls!

Michiko: And I’ll teach you to try and mess with my mate!

-

Michiko: If you should know, I am a balance of both

Kollecter: I would still like my wage

Michiko: Ha! Fat chance!

-

Michiko: I would never be ally to those who hurt my Reiki

Kollector: She’s a seer and a Nymph! Do you not know the value she is worth?

Michiko: She’s my fiance! 

---

Michiko: So you and Jade had history?

Kotal Kahn: It’s a long story.

Michiko: I don’t think there’s much story there.

-

Michiko: Give this to Kitana for me

Kotal Kahn: Why can’t you do it?

Michiko: I just learned a shadow is now after me, so I gotta dip.

-

Michiko: Heard you got defeated in the Snow Forest

Kotal Kahn: Sub-Zero and his Lin Kuei outclassed my legion

Michiko: Be lucky you encountered him, and not me

---

Michiko: You’re not standing in my way

Kung Lao: I can’t let you attack the temple of elements

Michiko: I have an appointment with two Gods, SO MOVE IT!

-

Michiko: If you have see my brother, turn him away

Kung Lao: Now why would I do that? He has to pay for Shaolin lives!

Michiko: Turn him away before he picks up on mine and Reiki’s trail!

-

Michiko: I wish I would’ve met Bo’ Rai Cho sooner

Kung Lao: I’m just still surprised that you managed to out drink him.

Michiko: That’s because he gave me regular alcohol instead of demon elixir. 

---

Michiko: If you don’t move I will kill you

Liu Kang: Michiko, the monks, they can-

Michilko: I DON’T CARE, MOVE!

-

Michiko: Reiki’s fire is hotter than yours!

Liu Kang: A fire hotter than dragon’s fire?

Michiko: Hotter and deadlier!

-

Michiko: How does Bo’ Rai Cho hold that much alcohol?

Liu Kang: How did you not get drunk at all?

Michiko: I’m a demon. Regular alcohol doesn’t affect me

---

Michiko: You, Tanya, Reiki and me, double date!

Mileena: Ooh yes!

Michiko: Sweet! Tonight at 8?

-

Michiko: Bi Han and I never dated. We were just close before I died.

Mileena: He said you two made a promise.

Michiko: A promise that no longer means anything to me.

-

Michiko: Hey, thanks for not calling me a nymph in a mocking way

Mileena: Thanks for not calling me an ugly monster.

Michiko: That’s it. We’re friends and you’re gonna tell me everything bothering you

---

Michiko: I have had it! Move or die!

Nightwolf: I cannot not let you attack the gods!

Michiko: MY ONLY ISSUE IS WITH RAIDEN AND THE FIRE GOD!

-

Michiko: I don’t need your pity, and I don’t need your counsel!

Nightwolf: If you would let the Great Spirit help-

Michiko: Help me or hinder me from the truth?

-

Michiko: I hate that place and would rather it burn like my old home once did

Nightwolf: You would rather have innocents suffer over your anger?

Michiko: Why don’t you take the hourglass, go back about 31 years, and tell the two gods that!

---

Michiko: Keep the fuck away from Reiki!

Noob Saibot: I’m just trying to protect you!

Michiko: Protect me from what?

-

Michiko: You best keep my name out of your goddamn mouth, Bi Han!

Noob Saibot: You and I made a promise! It is best to honor that!

Michiko: That promise and our friendship was a mistake!

-

Michiko: I’m only letting you help cause Nozomi’s making me.

Noob Saibot: Oh she’s definitely Quan Chi’s daughter.

Michiko: Hey! We don’t say his name around her, got it?

---

Michiko: I want to tell you a little story.

Raiden: This should be interesting.

Michiko: It's a story of how two angry, petty, benevolent gods destroyed a bloodline and a village, leaving only one little girl to suffer the aftermath.

-

Michiko: You know of the lost realms?

Raiden: Someone I called my family was from one of those realms.

Michiko: It wouldn’t happen to be Krow of Hinpar would it?

-

Michiko: I’m not going to kill you! I just want my family back!

Raiden: I can’t do that-

Michiko: YOU OFFERED TO BRING BACK THE SHIRAI RYU! WHAT MAKES BRINGING BACK THE BLOODLINE YOU DESTROYED ANY DIFFERENT!?

-

Michiko: You’ve dealt with a cryomancer, but have you dealt with an ice demon?

Rain: What’s the difference?

Michiko: THERE ARE SEVERAL!

-

Michiko: I’m not buying that you want me as your ally for one minute.

Rain: If I made you my servant, Nozomi would kill me.

Michiko: Ok, that I can believe.

-

Michiko: in case no one told you, I don’t worship. I work with

Rain: You best treat Nozomi like the Goddess she is you imp!

Michiko: Hey! Watch it with that word!

---

Michiko: Don’t try to stop me Hasashi!

Scorpion: I’ve lost my family too Michiko. This is not the way to go about it.

Michiko: You at least got to know them before they died!

-

Michiko: You weren’t entirely wrong about it being of a Nymph, but why did you guess that?

Scorpion: Because Reiki is of Nymph origins too, and your ice matches his fire.

Michiko: I… I haven’t thought of it that way.

-

Michiko: Hasashi, look, I appreciate your offer, but I can’t accept.

Scorpion: Reiki grew up in the Shirai Ryu! You’d fit right in!

Michiko: I have my daughter to consider too, Hanzo.

---

Michiko: Unbind my thoughts from Sektor’s now!

Shang Tsung: And if I refuse?

Michiko: You won’t live to take another soul.

-

Michiko: I will bring my family back! And you can’t stop me!

Shang Tsung: Why would I want to stop you? I find your in vain efforts amusing.

Michiko: You’re lying! The Karasugawas will be restored!

-

Michiko: Have you found my soul yet, Tsung?

Shang Tsung: Don’t you dare mock me, you pompous little imp!

Michiko: THAT’S IT! NO MORE MS. NICE DEMON!

---

Michiko: No Nymph nor demon would ever serve you

Shao Kahn: You and your Nymph wife will do so imp! Michiko: HE IS MY MATE AND YOU’RE A DEAD MAN!

-

Michiko: I may not consume souls. But I do eat life essence

Shao Kahn: What’s the difference?

Michiko: I’ll show you!

-

Michiko: Let me use your hammer

Shao Kahn: Ah! And why would I let a weak puny mortal touch my hammer?

Michiko: I’ll freeze you in a block of ice and kick you into the void if you don’t give me the hammer.

---

Michiko: I don’t care how much the Lin Kuei needs me, I’m not going back!

Sheeva: You would abandon your home? Your friends?

Michiko: They can handle themselves! 

-

Michiko: Thanks for the training lessons

Sheeva: You certainly do not hold back

Michiko: Fight to the death or die fighting!

-

Michiko: Have you ever had a lover you fought for?

Sheeva: A queen I failed to protect

Michiko: I’m sure she holds no ill will towards you Sheeva

---

Michiko: Hey don’t worry, I’m not gonna take your screaming title.

Sindel: You can keep it!

Michiko: Aww, not even a friendly competition?

-

Michiko: Kitana Kahn of Outworld says she’d like to see you sometime

Sindel: That is wonderful to hear.

Michiko: I also know of a four armed queen that would like your company too

-

Michiko: Hey, you should go talk to Sheeva sometime

Sindel: But would she want to see me?

Michiko: I know she misses you more than anything.

---

Michiko: Sorry Skarlet, my blood’s not compatible.

Skarlet: I need no type. Just blood

Michiko: Ah, so you’re a type O.

-

Michiko: Wait, you’re of nymph origin too?

Skarlet: Blood nymphs.

Michiko: Huh, you really don’t hear about them a lot.

-

Michiko: You and Nozomi have really cool blood-bending!

Skarlet: You know of another blood bender?

Michiko: Nozomi is the best there is!

---

Michiko: You better back down Blade!

Sonya: Your God hunt ends here Karasugawa!

Michiko: Raiden got your future self killed! Why do you defend him?

-

Michiko: I will not repeat myself. I’m not going back.

Sonya: But Grandmaster Sub-Zero has specifically requested your help.

Michiko: He of all people should know why I cannot go back.

-

Michiko: How do I make my own legacy if I don’t want kids?

Sonya: You inspire others to be like you.

Michiko: I am the worst demon to follow. It’s not going to work.

---

Michiko: I can’t help you Kuai, I just can’t.

Sub-Zero: I know our last encounter with Sektor was shocking, bu-

Michiko: I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean

-

Michiko: Will you please get your brother off my back!

Sub-Zero: Michiko, you know Bi Han won’t listen to me.

Michiko: Not even as the Grandmaster?

-

Michiko: Where I was and where I will go is none of your concern Liang

Sub-Zero: Michiko please. Don’t leave me in the dark.

Michiko: It is best nobody knows.

---

Michiko: WHY CAN’T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!?

Sektor: WHY YOU CAN’T COME BACK HOME!?

Michiko: You.. You really don’t understand do you?

-

Michiko: I won’t come back, but I will invite you to my wedding

Sektor: Thank you sister.

Michiko: Don’t push your luck.

-

Michiko: Was the binding of our minds really “fathers” idea

Sektor: Not entirely..

Michiko: I KNEW IT!

---

Michiko: When do you plan on marrying Sektor?

Cyrax: Sometime in the summer.

Michiko: Very specific Mykel.

-

Michiko: So.. how’s life as a cyborg going?

Cyrax: Awful.

Michiko: Thanks for the update!

-

Michiko: Hey, where’s past you?

Cyrax: Probably trying to flirt with Shi in the worst ways possible

Michiko: As if you don’t do that now.

---

Michiko: Hey, I may be leaving for good, but I promise you I-

Smoke: Wait, you’re leaving for good!?

Michiko: Tomas I have made it clear so many times that I do not like this place.

-

Michiko: Would you like to come to my wedding?

Smoke: Like to? I have to! I’m your bridesmaid.

Michiko: umm… that’s going to Frost.. 

-

Michiko: Hydro been over training you too, huh?

Smoke: Speak for yourself Karasugawa!

Michiko: At least he has a reason to do so with me.

---

Michiko: Can we take a break?

Hydro: Not until you master your ice

Michiko: I’VE MASTERED IT FOR NEARLY A DECADE NOW!

- 

Michiko: Look, I appreciate your concern Bo Hai, but please don’t worry

Hydro: What if Reiki snaps and loses control of her fire? Michiko: That’s the beautiful thing about her, she’s not a monster like me.

-

Michiko: Where have you been all this time?

Hydro: Hunting your killers down.

Michiko: But, Hydro, I died in the tunnels below the temple.

---

Michiko: Ok, 1, didn’t realize you were flirting with me, and 2, I’m engaged

Sareena: Demons and Nymphs never work well together.

Michiko: I’M A NYMPH TOO!

-

Michiko: Your efforts are but in vain Vixen!

Sareena: Don’t you have the fox-like animal form?

Michiko: That’s not the point!

-

Michiko: You said there were other ways to release my pent of rage?

Sareena: Yes..

Michiko: Can any of them help me take down two gods?

[0aurelion-sol0]

SNK 134: Why we need to move forward.

Well...

That's horrifying...

Oh but whatever they are probably bad people in there. Thieves, greedy people, hateful mothers, men who beat their wives , liars, bullies, killers, murderers, rapist, child rapist and racist babies.

Yeah...

This is a rhetoric that has been used for ages and is currently being used in this fandom especially on reddit and 4chan.

The justification of injustice.

When George Floyd was slammed on the ground and died because he couldn't breathe anymore, conservatives and republicans at large ignored the police brutaliy leading up to that.

He was just a cocaine or drug addict who one day pointed a gun at a pregnant lady. So he was a criminal and deserved that.

Of course ignoring the racial segregation that happened from the very legalized slavery hundreds of years ago and how poor and racially stigmatized black people are being in America right now.

When the Uyghurs are being genocided by China, the world blinds itself because China is one the worlds necessary assets in economy as it basically produces a good chunk of what is being used in the world. Most made by children, " but it makes us live "... Apparently that's the only logical reason...

When Palestinians and Israelis are literally killing each other over some complicated non sense that no one ever really understands and also Israël basically doing Apartheid at this point,

When the totality of the Middle East has turned into a warzone because of the United States's violent imperialism,

When most far right or extremist group decided that Islam and Islamic terrorism are the same thing,

When xenophobes and racist always attack immigration,

"If she wasn't wearing that skirt, she probably wouldn't have been raped",

When we have homophobes, transphobes, LGBTphobes, telling us what's natural and always bragging about "\___-_-___/ God, Holy Jesus",

When you have people who tells you that poor people chose their way of living when there are a small percent of billionaires and soon to be trillionaires having such a gigantic amount of wealth,

When 6 millions Jews were genocided which was 40% of Jewish people at the time and 2/3 of European Jews,

When the prime minister of Israël is saying that the Holocaust wasn't Hitler's Idea but Haj Amin al-Husseini, (who was extremely anti semitic, don't get me wrong)who suggested it to him maiking the prime minister a revisionist but at the same time making his actions against Palestinians justified,

When around the world Christianic places of worship are being vandalized,

When entire SYSTEMS of segregations have made societies work,

When the South American continent has been attacked by the United States because of different political beliefs,

When people use their rape as a way to attack other communities of a specific religion or color,

When Black Panthers uses racism against White people because of the story of USA and are being anti semitic but essentializing a whole group,

When Nationalistic Israelis tells you what is a good Jew and what isn't a good Jew,

When dozens of groups have been forced to extinction,

Natives who were being murdered, yeah? YOU DON'T SEE THAT A LOT IN YOUR COWBOY MOVIES ?

When literal "feminist" calls for the destruction of men while they can't educate the kids about what to do and what not to do, OH, can also be transphobic apparently,

When you have entire websites who encourages pedophilia,

And pedophiles killed, left alone and live a life of endless torment while no one does nothing to help them and fight those who encourages it even in the highest places of our society,

Oh and Hollywood, that's all I need to say.

And let's not even talk about animal brutality and the destruction of ecosystems.

And there is more and more and more and more and more and FUCKING MORE,

All that because of reasons, reasons, reasons, reasons,

All stuck in a cycle of hate, violence and discrimination that just never ends.

The selfishness,

The greed,

And at end, everything is meaningless. There is just blood.

This is what this chapter represent the meaningless of it all. How everything goes to shit...

How everyone, whether it's the oppresor or the oppresed, will justify the violence, the injustice.

Society does nothing cause society right now runs for the entitled and the entitled only and creates it's own monsters.

I want to ask those people who defend the rumbling.

After everything we saw in this manga, after what the real world has commited, after how much these real events have inspired this story, how can you say it was the only way ?

After everyone hided Hange valuable informations including Eren who had information about KRUGER who was a spy in MARLEY. Who has created a civil war in Eldia and activated the rumbling while killing Eldian civilians in the way.

After seeing the mental breakdown of Bertolt, who we don't hear about anymore, Annie and Reiner's mental breakdown over GENOCIDING AN ENTIRE GROUP OF PEOPLE, by the way Reiner totally didn't develop another persona at that time to cope with what he was doing, HUH ?

After all the deaths, Carla, Grisha, Dina, Faye Marco, Levi's squad, Ymir, Erwin, Sasha, Hange, Hannes, Floch and many others, how can you go and be like "CHAD EREN, BEING DADDY, FUCKING HIS MEAT WAIFU, PHILOSOPHER FREEDOM SEEKER"

"104th crybabies... xDdDDDD Prfrpfr"

Come on...

This isn't serious at this point.

And for the H character, we're gonna come back for her but...

GODDAMNIT!

THANK YOU, DEATH.

This has sparked debates.

Some are thankful for this speech by the commander.

Others are finding it disingenous.

Others think it's too on the nose and not natural.

Others don't care.

On my part, I enjoy it but I take it with the context. Most of their airships have been destroyed and they are facing their doom upfront right now. It's more of a death plea at this point. Just like in the cave with Histor... GOD IT'S SO HARD SAYING HER NAME... with Historia who said truly horrible things at the point of an imminent death. At that moment, words like this can tell what you really are inside but even that is not enough to have a full picture.

It did have some interesting elements.

It is true, using, raising, breeding hate and shoving problems upon a group will always come bite you up the ass someday.

Marley in their extensive and violent coloniaslistic, imperialiatic behavior towards Eldia creates only weaknesses for them on an international field and create this monstruosity that is right now Eren.

Eren, a soldier who suffer from trauma and PTSD, who has terrible insecurities and everything to lose after losing so much and possibly in my book being influenced by another entity decides to kill them all.

But...

In no way does that justify Eren's actions, in fact it goes against it.

He is just as angry and hateful as they were back then but instead of destroying the system, he decides to genocide.

Essentializing the whole world as your ennemy and problem, and deciding to get rid of it is just continuing what has been started and continued for hundreds of years before.

No one ever thinks about the simple families, the innocent children, the homeless...

What about them Eren ?

What about the people who faced discrimination like Ramzi ?

What about the other groups that are almost extinct just like yours ?

What about the groups that tried to support the Eldians but were considered freaks ? HUH ?

What about the babies and innocent children ?

Isayama is even spelling it out for you this chapter.

Is he not worth it ? To stop all this ?

He was born into this world just like every other baby.

Look at that while everyone, is trying to jump off, their trying to save the baby. Even if it's probably impossible. That's humanity right there.

And... jesus christ...

I literally saw people who said that the mother was dumb to give it to the people because titans were behind them.

I can't even...

Imagine if Eren is the daddy of H's Baby and that he completes the genocide, killing his friends or even persuading them and at the end he is saying you are free to this baby.

So this baby is worth more than this baby ?

He is more legitimate to live than him.

I can't even imagine what the arguments would be like with the Eren stans:

"He's protecting his friends."

While literally challenging them to fight and right now trying to kill them.

"Well, you know the Rumbling is horrible but they got what was coming for them. They did nothing to help Paradise."

While forgetting the complexity of human nature, how banalization of these acts of violence have come to be BECAUSE...

These just like me and you are just simple people. With simple lives and not too much power who can't do anything about it.

Most of the people today sees all the suffering in the world, they just don't have the power, nor the will to go against such complex geo-political conflicts.

Would you be able to just resolve the Israelo-Palestinian conflict ? I don't think so, so shut your ass down with this argument.

These people can't change the world with power that they have and the one that has the power to change that, is killing them right now. BRAVO.

" Well, uh, the child is a child, parents might be racist and uh... child maybe is racist or will become racist..."

God...

Just because someone has done horrible shits or is an horrible shit doesn't mean he should die like this.

Here it is people, how we work as human :

Fuck redemption and possible solutions, let's kill everyone who did something bad.

Y'all would have been perfect during monarchies time.

And like... having an argument on a baby should face genocide is just fucking disgusting.

AND DON'T GIVE ME THE BULLCRAP OF FICTION DOESN'T EQUAL REALITY!

That you are interested into what could bring the Rumbling in terms of thematics and story is fine.

BUT ENDORSING IT ?

Do y'all even hear yourselves sometimes ?

You just sound like every racist, bigoted, fascist and violent person that has ever existed.

You're just excited to see someone die because he commited something wrong, sadistic pricks.

You're no different. Perhaps the guy who was talking to Grisha in chapter 97, who was a Marleyan and gave serums to Eldian is right. When he was talking to Grisha, Isayama use it to break the fourth wall and talk to the readers.

Why do we watch this, all this violence ?

" Because it's fun!"

" People take peace for granted!"

" Of course we're abnormal in society's eyes."

" We wish to exterminate all eldians!"

" Your sister did nothing wrong. Shame she was an Eldian!"

The fun fact is that this guy is a racist fuck but he dies pushed by Kruger and killed by his very own creation: a titan.

Why do people endorse genocide ?

" Because it's justice!"

" They got what was coming for them!"

" Isayama is just showing us that genocide is not really wrong if you just understand the concept of morals. Puritans."

" Humanity can die, they deserve it!"

" I'm sad for Ramzi, he didn't do nothing wrong but you know... maybe he didn't have good ideas about Eldians."

While also saying why children could deserve genocide. \____@-@____/

Of course I found most of these on Reddit and 4chan, the nazi propaganda website. Tumblr is a little free of it.

Babies....

Literally babies...

That remind me of somethin'...

OH YEAH!

QUEER NO MORE.

*put gloves on*

PUUUUUUUSSHH!!! COOOOOOOMMEEE OOONN!!!!

Breathe...

I SEEEEE THE HEAAADDD, IT'S HEREEEEEE!!!!

Natalie, bring the bucket, quick!

Of fuck she shitted on herself a little bit!

_________________________________________

So ?

Y'all like my fanfic ?

It's about how Erehisu is canon and how Historia is actually thinking about Eren right now because she is blushing.

But also about how Historia actually looks good and sexy while being pregnant and how she looks so happy!

She also is a lesbian that turned straight.

I'm so proud of my work.

_________________________________________

In all honesty...

This is... dissapointing and an insult to Historia fans. Why ? What is the purpose or the reason ? Being tragic ? To show how far Historia can go to protect her loved ones ? A female Eren so ?

I always leaned towards the fake pregnancy even if I don't know how something like that could be really pulled. I didn't understand this choice for his storytelling. The others I understand but this one...

O_o

What the fuck ?

So she really is pregnant ? But nothing leading up to it makes sense.

The character whose thematics still rings too much true for this arc is put in the background and as a breeding farm on top of that.

It even came to a point I started people to stop asking about her.

I had faith in her presence in the final arc. That she would have a role play.

But now ?

/\/\/\

For people who don't understand why this aspect of story is wrong, we have to break it down.

First off, Historia one of the first queer characters with Ymir in SNK. Others are suspected but these two are the few that holds a definitive representation as queer.

Most often in media or in real life, LGBT people have been forced into a situation that requires them to fall under heterosexuals lives. Here Historia is forced to be pregnant, yes in a way she agreed because of her people, but at the same time she didn't really want it.

For queer people, like me, this still rings true. Too much true. People literally forces you to go for your opposite sex everytime, to have a family.

No, stop forcing your view of your own life or desire of life on other people.

The fact that the fandom rationalizes that and says that she is happy and in love with Eren is just so fucking weird.

It either is blind ship following, heteronormativity or not understanding the story.

And I saw people saying she might be bisexual. This doesn't change anything. Also ignoring the fact that she hasn't shown any attraction to men other than women in the story.

If she is bisexual, it doesn't change anything, she is still queer. Not semi-straight AND EVEN IF SHE WAS A WOMAN WHO HAPPENED TO BE STRAIGHT, SHE IS STILL FORCED INTO SOMETHING SHE DID NOT WANT.

Bisexual is not semi-straight, semi-gay.

It's bisexual.

Bisexual, Straight and Homosexuality are not the same thing.

And if she was straight, that doesn't make it acceptable. It's just sick.

Just because you're a straight woman doesn't mean you are going to be more happy or have god like duty to have kids.

I just don't understand it...

A manga who was so progressive with his female characters reduces Historia to this.

Imagine...

Just imagine...

Eren is the father. I would shoot myself in the face. A forced straight relationship at the end for the pleasure of shonen readers and heteronormative readers.

" What if I have baby, Eren ?"

" Only if it is from me. I want him to live and have FREEDOM!"

" It's open bar, honey." *saying this after hearing the guy says he's going to genocide which goes against her own values and actions as queen*

Ew... Just ew...

And even worse she wasn't supposed to give birth right now, she was supposed to give birth in a few months.

She could DIE. SHE IS 19. This is dangerous.

Everyone is like this is normal.

THIS IS NOT NORMAL. *sigh*

This goes against what she is supposed to have as a character development.

The fact that she would be okay for genocide while as a queen she reached out to the most weak and in need is fucking incoherent.

No. This doesn't make sense. Even Eren said that Historia's action as a queen were to help others. How could she be okay sitting at her house ? Telling no one about what Eren was going to do ? And becoming a breeding farm ? What is the logic in that ?

Why make it suspicious than ?

The only thing that was able to make any logical sense to me was that the person we are seeing here isn't Historia.

I know if my theory is right, it's sick, even more sick.

The only times we saw Historia after the timeskip was during flashbacks, the reveal at 107 and possibly at the end of 123.

If this is her at the end of 123, I want to ask you why is she all prepared, why is she all dressed up and why is she wearing the same clothes in 134 that she is wearing 107. Something doesn't add up.

She is young, small-petite, blonde and her belly and face are hidden.

I was only able to go through the theory that this is a fake Historia. Than who it is than ?

Well, I searched for female characters who look like her or who could look like Historia right now. From all the characters that we haven't seen coming coming back and that has interacted with Historia, there is only one.

Rico Brzenska.

For those, who don't remember her : She was a Garrison Member who helped Mikasa and Eren during the Trost Arc and also helped Historia while she was exhausted during the Clash of the Titans Arc.

She hasn't appeared ever since the start of the Return to Shiganshina Arc unlike many of the older characters.

She is the only one I see who could pass as Historia I think.

I know this is still sick. But this is the only way I would be able to make Historia get out of this crappy storyline and play some relevance in the story. And if we look at Rico and Historia in 107, they kinda look the same. They have the heart shaped face, they are both small and they both have this sort of closed eyelids.

One line that just stuck with me of Rico was:

"Hiding/Lying about Eren's rampage in the report wouldn't have benefited humanity. "

This was during Eren's trial before joining the Survey Corps. What was discused was when Eren lost control of himself during the Trost Arc and attacked Mikasa.

The second line that struck was the one where she holds Historia who is exhausted in her arms:

"Wow! Who is this girl, is she okay ?"

I don't know why it just pushed that theory. And I kinda believe it now, because no one can make me believe that there is something satisfying coming out of this. Why would she sacrifice herself for Historia ? Well, I don't really know but Rico was always a little wary of Eren, even after the Trost Arc but yeah ultimately for Rico being able to give her own life for Historia. I don't know about that. But with this manga you never now. It is a very dark and twisted theory but this is the only logical thing I can see right now since no answers have been provided.

Monkey is BACK

Zeke is back and like most of us predicted, Eren dragged him with him. And I'm not gonna lie, the way he was attached to the spine was pretty badass.

He is used as a puppet which reinforces the theory for me that all three of them: Eren, Ymir and Zeke are being used by the Attack Titan.

I cannot understand Eren's illogical behavior especially after seeing the train scene where he says he wants them to live long happy lives and than having him kill his friends.

Ymir the first being free and having eyes to returning to having no eyes just like before and Eren.

And Zeke would have never agreed to the Rumbling. And we can't see his eyes either.

And...

Thank you, 104th for existing.

Because...

After how much shit they have gone through and after how much the fandom, not just the Eren stans, have mocked them. Like the fandom has been the biggest asshole to the the Alliance while they were the ones who were able to survive through the sentence " Genocide is wrong!" that so many people seems to find to be so hard to say.

I will root for them until the bitter end, I don't care. They are the one who are fighting. You can call Cringevengers all you want but I am glad they are winning.

They all suffered like Eren but they didn't prioritize their own and only feelings above everything else and they stood by for the values they fought for since they joined the Survey Corps. Even if I have to admit they have, for most of them, conflicted feelings with what they were doing and have done things like trying to talk to Eren while it's obvious he wasn't going to talk and that in a situation like this I don't think someone would try to stop Eren by just talking.

Levi, and it would be foolish to not recognize it, is being consumed by his promise but he is restraining it and still is able to think about the bigger picture.

There's one thing I really like about this is Armin asking Eren:

"Eren... I'll ask you one last time... "What part of you is free" after we rip you out from there... "

Hehe... yes... what part of you is free ?

To be honest, there's many things I don't want for the ending.

A Lelouch Ending, it was all Eren's plan. Literally wouldn't make sense. No one would be questionning his free will and he wouldn't have these weird shits happening to him.

A Code Geass ending, why would Mikasa have to kill Eren, what does that add to her as a character ? More tragedy ? No she doesn't have the scarf, it's pretty telling what place she's at right now.

Eren being the daddy. NO, JUST NO.

Everyone dies, genocide is the right thing. You know all the worst shit that can happen.

But most of all I want important plot points to be explored and moved over because ever since the timeskip, there has been no important plot points out the way. Eren's behavior, Ackertalk, Bertolttalk, Historia's Condition, Paths stuffs, answers!

Whatever... Trust me Peace is not something I take for granted. Being proud of myself and having a life with the least conflict and problem is something you fight for. Having rights, being recognized as a human.

Never lose that, fight for it. But never with injustice, be smarter and stronger. Cause at the end what unites us is not only what we have in common but what the perspective of what we have not in common can make a bigger picture of what we are as humans. We all are different and have a different story with similarities but in the end, we are human and born into this world. And in that, we must move forward. In the present, because of the past and for the future.

We all wish for the problems to go away but if it's for the solutions to be rigged with injustice, it will not work. No one has acheived with genocide and never will.

It's kinda sad that this long of a post has to say this. Did y'all see that ? Pretty inspiring what I wrote. Oh well you know what ? If they can be bigoted why can't I myself.

Here's a song I wrote:

(Fuck everyone and you.

We hate women

There are only 2 genders, the breeder and the breeded.

Everything is degenerate.

We hate brown, Arab and Muslim people.

Genocide is cool

And Hitler was too.)

I know but you know what, at least if they want a spy for Nazi Germany someday. They'll know not to give it to me because I'd laugh at the stupidity of the people just like you and I are doing with the rest of world cause for all the shits it gives us, it's entertaining.

[bow-woahh]

She-Ra season 5 thoughts

A chaotic summary of my feelings/ reactions of each episode! Spoilers. Obviously. 

Episode 1 — Horde Prime

- First of...Adora stop throwing yourself into battle challenge - "You're not She-Ra anymore" — TELL HER SIS - The way Catra was so smug but Glimmer was not having any of it "You're just as alone as I am" if that ain't the truth idk what is - Catra wanting the climb up the ranks? Sis I don't think so let's see how long that lasts - The DINNER pissed me the fuck OFF - Oh yeah here's my obligatory SW FUCK OFF CHALLENGE - Micah, King, glare at her!! Yes!! - The way Scorpia said "Catra thought my singing was annoying" honey - That clone was SO annoying stfu about Prime being omniscient and omnipresent and shit like ugH idC - Bow and Adora are the BROTP - Scorpia stinging Adora to keep her safe - and that's on friendship - The way Prime INSTANTLY called Catra out "Adora means something to you" listen I hate the gay but damn he's smart. He saw right through her act. - "Adora chose her side and I chose mine" that doesn't mean you don't still care Catraaa - Also that was REALLL quick lmaoo the way five seconds she was like "imma climb up the ranks" then in about two secs HP was like "sis I have no use for you" - "What are you going to do to me?" IM CRYING - Adora and those weird flashback PTSD things -- are u okay sis?? - This was the first episode and I already want to cry so....wow

Episode 2 — Launch

- Adora omg she's so fatigued girl S L E E P - Bow getting pissed at everyone for not letting her rest...what a king - Catra disobeying HP and talking back to that clone but then HP took its form...fuck man that shit scary - STOP CALLING HER  LITTLE SISTER CHALLENGE JESUS FUCK - Everyone hates Entrapta wow ouch - Literally Entrapta being horny over robots is hilarious lmaoo - Mermista is a great leader and they worked so well together ahhh! I'm loving Scorpia and Frosta's friendship - Entrapta got the signal!! I'm proud -  Adora stop following holograms and illusions challenge -  Adora being all like "I don't know my destiny anymore but I know I need to save my friend." LIKE YES HONEY -  Glimmer is sO volatile like honey,, did you need to break HP's crystal ball thingy?? DID U?? -  also she knows her dad is alive now and that H U R T S ++ I bet she doesn't know the sword is broken so fuckkl -  Micah as She-Ra?? something I never knew I needed -  SW not being in this episode at all? love that for us - "I reinstate my horray" I LOVE YOU SCORPIA - "Can you stay?" MY FUCKING HEART GLITRA FRIENDSHIP HERE WE COME

Every episode I just feel immense f E AR

Episode 3 — Corridors

- THIS STARTS W BABY CATRA AND ADORA?? NOELLE WHY ARE TRYNA KILL US?? - Catra and Glimmer talking about sleepovers and Adora...damn my heart - Adora and her stupid ponytail 💀 - "I'll never say sorry!" - THE WAY YOUNG CATRA WAS SO JEALOUS EYE— - "There's no one in the entire universe who cares about me." - "Im sorry! For everything." IM SO UPSET WTF -  CATRA IS FUCKED BUT SHE SAVED GLIMMER -  HP GTFO CHALLENGE -  I'm so proud of my baby tho wow... -  What the fuck we gone do now? -  so much happened in this episode so this is a lot shorter because my brain is numb. Catra is gonna get brainwashed?? isn't she?? -  "I want to do that one good thing in my life." IM CRYING Y'ALL

Episode 4 —Stranded

- Adora is like "Catra, Catra?? saved you?? wtaf?” Lmaoo - Bow and Glimmer fighting is hurting my HEART - KYLE HAS A CRUSH ON ROGELIO?? SCORPIA DONE EXPOSED IT AHHH - Swifty tryna contact Adora?? kinda cute - him impersonating everyone was onbrand and kinda funny ngl - The way Adora is like "it's complicated" lmaoo girl everything is w you - I live the star siblings omg yeS - "I have to save someone. Someone I—" omFG ADORA - Adora is S T R O N K - she GLOWED OMFG SHE RA?? IS THAT U?? - BOW AND GLIMMER BEING OKAY?? MAYBE - Etherians really are wilding out here - YESSS THEY JOINING THE REBELLION - "Maybe we'll never be friends like we used to be."  Glimmer...I love her sm - "I can't just leave her there. I have to try." Adora actually cares so much about her!! and I love Glimmer being supportive wow we love a queen! - THE BEST FRIEND SQUAD IS BACK TOGETHER!! LETS GOO - "She-Ra is back." Swift Wind is annoying but thank you. thank you for saying that horse.

I literally threw my hoodie across the room and forgot that I did that wow lmao

Episode 5 — Save the Cat

- My friend who's ahead me said wait for episode 5 now I'm fucking S H OO K - this episode name has me shook I can't - its WRITTEN BY NOELLE?? WE'RE FUCKED - I love Wrong Hordak SM what an idiot - Catradora really is gonna be canon wow - WTAF IS THAT SHE IS NOT MY CATRA SHE IS A CLONE her hair tho?? kinda nice - the way HP said "your Catra." like low-key he said gay rights - "You broke my heart. And he has made me whole again." - "We both know I don't matter"  and "you're and idiot" "I know" THESE TWO ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER - SHE JUMPED OFF A CLIFF FOR HER - the way she's holding her?? so soft - SHE RA IS LOOKING FLY -- and is she taller?? - "You miscalculated" YES QUEEN I LOVE HER. THAT WHOLE FIGHT SCENE WAS AMAZING - FuCK HORDEP PRIME - Darla is the best Light Hope SUX - the "Hey, Adora" was SO SOFT IM SO HAPPY

That episode really hiT different Catradora is DEFINITELY canon EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU NOELLE

Episode 6 - Taking Control

- Adora. Chill. - Catra's trauma...wow - honestly I have SO MUCH TO SAY and so little at all. - The ending w Catra joining was so cute and all the Catradora interactions are SENDING ME this is the development I need - "Adora. Stay." MY HEART - thank fuck that chip is gone YAY - Entrapta and Catra making up? Catra saying "Thank you and I'm sorry" her least favourite words -- characters DEVELOPMENT - The way Catra blushed when Adora transformed GIRL YOURE GAY - SHERAS POWER IS TOO MUCH SLAY GIRL - Horde Prime FucK off challenge I hate him - Micah tryna be a father figure? cute - the endING FUCK WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT SPINNERALLA??? POOR NETOSSA

okay but where tf is DT, KYLE, LONNIE AND ROGELIO??

my mum is so tired of me screaming lmaoo

Episode 7 — Perils Of Peekabloo

- Catra just SAT on Adora's lap the PDA is unmatched - We love a filler wow - we literally can't trust anyone this shit sucks - SCORFUMA STANS STAY WINNING - Mermista and Seahawk kinda cute tho (the  heart eyes) - DT I KNEW IT   - CASH KITTEN? EYE—JUST SAY SUGAR MOMMA AND GO - NETOSSA DOESN'T DESERVE THIS - MERMISTA TO - EVERYONE is chipped WTF - DT is a theatre gay through and through   - THEY'RE FUCKED WE'RE FUCKED - NOOOO SCORPIA 😭😭😭 - "I'm the muscle, remember?" - SCORPIA'S POWER, HER REACH, IT'S AMAZING - everything is going downhill FAST - "Happy Anniversary" EYE—😭😭😭😭😭

well that sucked What the fuck we gone do now?

Episode 8 - Shot in the Dark

- The soft smile Catra gave Adora while teasing? love that - loving this new squad - the wAY HER TAIL FLUFFED UP SHES SO SCARED MAN - Wrong Hordak is my main g - the LAUGHING!! THE BLUSHING!! EVERYONE CAN SMELL THE GAY TENSION - omg Catra being the brains of the operation?? yes please - "Catra's first mission" THEY'RE SO OBNOXIOUS I LOVE THEM - "I'm going to kill your friends." "Please don't." we are ASCENDING - Casta? Strike her down anyway please 🙏 - Adora is SO WHIPPED the way she blushed at Catra making the door - "It's such a cute sneeze" BOW KNOWS IT CATRA IS CUTE AND THATS THE TEA - literallyyyy I hate SW GTFO CHALLENGE get OFF my screen 😡 - CATRA WHY DID YOU LUNGE AT THAT THING?? - OMFG MAGICAT?? (Nope dumb bitch) - "I'm coming!" "Hurry." - "I'm sorry. I got angry. It's something I'm working on" ADORA GLOWED AND SAID "You are?" WE LOVE SELF GROWTH AHH - It was Catra's hand OMFG IN THE TRAILER - Adora and cat thing being magic? we love it - MELOG IS SO CUTE and Catra can talk to it?? wowow - they love taking strays lmao - Wrong Hordak's character arc is the best one in the show - CATRA HAS AN IDEA?? YES - Preach Casta shut Weaver up - "That about sums it up, yes." I love them as a team - the hand holding? so cutee Catra don't pretend you're not whipped - oml Glimmer kissing Catra before Adora? EYE— Glitra shippers gonna be so happy at that one moment lmaoo - THEY'RE HOMEEEE

ahhh we're getting close to the end nooo

Episode 9 —An ill Wind

- oh god oh god - Catra is so badass with Melog i LOVE HER EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL  - having to fight your own wife? that shit sucks - Erelandia? it's free - omg HP is angry asfff - FROSTA CHILL SHE PUNCHED HER HARD - Adora and Catra are soft 🥺 that's all I have to say

Episode 10 — Return to the Fright Zone

- omg are we gonna see Kyle?? Lonnie? Rogelio?? (also nope, stupid hoe) - okay but Netossa getting screentime? YES PLEASE - I love the intro sm ahhhh - also her knowing everyone's weakness? love that shit - ouch Perfuma ouch didn’t have to go so hard on Catra and YET - omg I forgot Bow's dads existed - "Mostly bad memories" 😔😔😔 - competitive gfs for the win - Catra FLEW tho WOW Scorpia is STRONK - the dad jokes are immaculate - "I'm working is being a better friend. That has to count for something right?" - "We don't throw tanks at our friends" sis you don't give flowers to your them at this current time either - "why did I get stuck with the water Princess?" Catra...baby I love you - omg there's a fail safe THANK FUCK I was legit speechless - "There's real power in love and friendship" preACH IT GIRLIE - SCORPIA FIGHT IT YESSS - legit forgot Spinny and Netossa were fighting lmao oof - FINALLY ANGST OVER THE WIVES ARE BACK - omg THE PAN TO ADORA ABOUT BEING VULNERABLE AHHHH - Perfuma is Catra's therapist that's my headcanon - OMFG I FORGOT ABOUT SW FUCK SHIT CATRA BABY IM SORRY

damn I'm stressed out

Episode 11 — Failsafe

- Weaver STFU challenge - them taking about their abuse? we love to see - "We— I could really use your help" KILL ME NOW THEY'RE TOO MUCH - "Not because I like you" she says SMILING - Melog is Catra's affectionate side prove me wrong - Stan Entrapta for clear skin - SW doesn't deserve rights (as per usual) - DONT TOUCH HER BITCH LITERALLYYYY WHYYY - and now She Ra is glitching?? fuck - Catra is so jumpy eye— "Trust Me" MY HEART SBSBDB - Weaver really called her a DISTURBANCE STFU 💀💀💀 - Entrapta and bird horse ftw what a tag team - OMG NO BE CAREFUL - "Did you just jump in fire to save me?" SHE WAS SO SMUG - can SW burn like... now? - "It's none of your business" LITERALLY BUTT OUT  - "Catra, she distracts you, confuses you." WEAVER I FUCKING HATE YOU SM I FUCKING I WILL PUNCH MY SCREEN - Entrapdak being a thing? I do not know how to feel - "Your imperfections are beautiful."  I am.... conflicted - SW doesn't deserve screen time - Catra is an i no cap (I genuinely have no clue what I meant so sorry about that) - i think the fuck not - this episode is so stressful - Catra saving Adora >>>>>>>>> - what an awful reunion for Glimmer damn - "It doesn't always have to be you!" IKR IT SHOULD BE WEAVER - fuck dark magic fuck it all - Catra's upset?? no my baby 🥺 - this whole episode is just traumatising - Adora's heart do be glowing - Catra's LEAVING?? why?? - "What do you want Adora?" - MY HEART BEEN BROKE SO MANY TIMES I DONT KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE 😭😭 - omg this time instead of Adora leaving it's Catra (you are a dumbass DUH) - that H U R T S - ADORA TELL HER YEs QUEEN

omg HEART NEXT???

Episode 12 — Heart Part 1

- I am not prepared for this - Adora...baby I'm so sorry - Glimbow moment with a banjo?? that was cute - Adora really is a party popper - "Adora doesn't want me. Not like I want her." AND THAT'S ON LESBIANISM BUT ALSO FUCKING OUCH  - but really Catra...do you really think Adora doesn't want you? girl are youb B L I N D?? - Wrong Hordak is MY GUY - Stan the rebellion for clear skin - NOOO WHAT THE FUCK MY HEART DON'TPLAY WITH ME LIKE THAT THEY NEARLY KISSED AND IT WAS A FUCKING SIMULATION - real Catra be CAREFUL - "We have to warn Adora" YES SIS WARN YOUR GF  - "I thought I could make my own destiny" U STILL CAN SIS - I'm scared I'm fucking scared - my HEART IS BEATINGG FASTT - I really hate Horde Prime uhhhhhhhgg - for once in your sorry life do something good Weaver jfc - "I can't leave her behind again" - BEST FRIEND SQUAD + MELOG YES - "Bow, I love you." GLIMBOW IS BACK ON AHHH - BUT AT WHAT COST??? (literally what am I saying??) - "You deserve love too." AND THAT'S ON PERIODT - Glimmer coming in clutch!! - Mermista and Seahawk do be cute tho - Micah is actually the worst rn wow - "Goodbye, my oldest enemy" CATRA COME QUICK AHH

the last episode....I'm not ready to say goodbye

Episode 13 — Heart Part 2

- ofc this is written by Noelle - "Hey, Adora" MY HEART - "I'll catch up okay? Get to the heart." - SW ACTUALLY DIED?? THANK YOU MY GIRLS CAN HEAL NOW

andd that's as far as I got before freaking the fuck out with everything that was happening onscreen but THE CATRADORA KISS WAS EVERYTHING and the ending was perfect 🥺💖

—

Thank you Crew-Ra, Noelle for making such a beautiful and heartwarming show, this will be remembered for years to come because what this show did was incredible and unlike anything I've ever watched.

[amaltheaz]

Friend, do you have any good fic recs aside from your amazing work?? Also bfwbau, love it!

Hello friend! I've got lots of fic recs! Here are the fics I'm currently reading!

if you love me, wont you say something by MovePastTheFeeling

Summary: Kara surprises even herself as she and Sam flirt relentlessly, much to Lena's chagrin. Will the three women be able to navigate their increasingly complicated relationships, and will any of them ever just look up what "polyamory" is? Will they all be able to find their happy ending?

- This is one of my favorite Sam/Kara/Lena fic, if not my top favorite. It starts off officially with Kara/Sam which I feel is really cool. It's soft, it's sexy, it's got angst. What more do you need?

Same Time Next Year? by Melui

Summary: At a New Year's Eve masked gala, Kara meets a mysterious brunette at midnight. They click in all the right ways, but fate intervenes to keep them apart. They promise to meet each other again, same time, next year.

In January, Kara is assigned to interview the aloof and seemingly intimidating Lena Luthor. Kara finds Lena as intriguing as her New Year's Eve companion, and they soon grow close. But as the end of the year approaches, the promise she made comes back to her. Who was the mysterious brunette, and where do those amazing donuts come from?

- I really love this fic! The relationship between Kara and Lena has been such a delicious slow burn to read. The writer has been updating pretty regular since they first posted so that's also a great plus.

This Woman's Work by CursedEstlin

Summary: Kara’s pained expression softened, her eyes boring into Lena’s. “You must look at me and you must not look away. I know you can do that for me.” She smiled slightly at Kara, smoothing Supergirl’s hair away from her face. She swallowed thickly, her eyes never leaving Kara’s face as she nodded almost imperceptibly. “Do it.”

“I’m so sorry, Kara,” Alex whispered, forcing the knife through Kara’s flesh.

OR...

That one where Kara nearly dies protecting the Luthors and Eliza is not thrilled about it. At all

- Trigger warning for amputation and PTSD.

I have been enjoying this fic a lot. The relationship between Kara and Alex, Kara and Lena, and Alex and Lena. It's been a joy to read as they move on. Plus, the Kara/Lena scenes have been STEAMY

please don't ever become a stranger by @swashbucklery

Summary: Lena knows.

Lena knows, because Lex told her before Kara got the chance to do it herself.

Kara knows that Lena knows because she tried to tell her, afterwards. They had an awful crying, shouting fight about it in Lena's office, the kind of fight that sticks under Kara's skin and keeps her awake at night.

(Kara accidentally crunched a handprint into Lena's desk. Lena threw Kara's phone off of her office balcony.

She doesn't want to talk about it.)

or: the story of what happens after Kara and Lena fall apart

- Do you want to be slapped in the face by feelings so hard that your ancestors feel it? Well, this is the fic for you. Also it's completed so yay!

Paper Cranes by ClaraZorEl

Summary: Supergirl has fallen.

What if after the redK incident, Supergirl never had the chance to redeem herself ? Forced to live as a human again, she moves back to Midvale.

What if after Lex Luthor had gone bananas in Metropolis, Lena chose to flee and started a life for herself on the other side of the country, let's say, in Midvale ?

And so Kara and Lena meet in this little coastal city where they have no choice but to cary their secrets alone and try not to fall in love

- This was a really great and deep exploration into Kara's character (WE GET TO SEE HER SCIENCE) and what could have happened if things had gone so differently for her, and of course, if she and Lena had met elsewhere.

But in the end in Wonderland we went mad by @thingsanddreamsandstuff

Summary: After Lena finds out about Kara’s secret identity, she doesn’t want to have anything to do with her former best friend/ long time crush.

Kara feels so lost after Lena’s sudden departure from her life, that she becomes more and more reckless – a situation that both annoys and worries Alex endlessly.

But when a mysterious new woman waltzes into Kara’s life and takes a special interest in the reporter, Kara finds herself intrigued. The people in Kara’s life worry that this new woman might be too good to be true, while Kara just wishes everyone could be happy for her.

Lena will have to decide whether she wants to hold on to her pride, or save the girl she worked so hard on hating.

- This has had my emotions in the fucking wringer. The angst chokes me and I don't even know HOW I'm reading it because y'all know I'm an angst weenie but I was pulled in by that little glimpse of Kara and Andrea in that one chapter and I am thirsty for more. Do be warned when it comes to the Kara and Lena scenes though because they are quite rough but the current chapter healed me

[atamascolily]

lily liveblogs  watching “The Terminator” for the first time

I cannot believe no one ever told me the first ten minutes of The Terminator are filled with naked men roaming 1980s Los Angeles. In addition to full-front Arnold Schwarzenegger nudity, there's a chase scene in which Kyle Reese's actor (no slouch himself in the muscles department) runs through a clothing store, dressing himself as he goes. The narrative economy of this movie, I tell you.

Whoever decided that time travel does not involve clothing was clearly having a lot of fun. 

Also, I have no idea why the punks decided to make fun of a naked Arnold Schwarzenegger except they were probably drunk/stoned/high and fond of making poor life choices. Either that or they really were Too Stupid To Live.

Is the close up on Kyle Reese's stolen Nikes supposed to be product placement? I think it's product placement. This is the '80s after all.

OMG, a phone booth. This film was not supposed to be a period piece (or was it??), but it's unintentionally hilarious as such. Kyle Reese doesn't seem to know how to reach Sarah Connor otherwise... so the phone book gets to stand in for the Internet.

(god, if you're from his version of 2029, the fact that machines DON'T control everything seems both a) quaint and b) infinitely desirable by comparison.)

What's interesting is both the film's present and the film's future are dystopic hellholes. Yes, it's the middle of the night in Los Angeles, but the way it's filmed, with all the urban debris and trash and homeless wandering the streets very much parallels the future. The garbage truck in the present and the human-killing laser machine in the future are foils to each other.

EVERYONE'S HAIR, OH MY GOD.

It's kinda sad that food service is still visual shorthand for "sucky job" even in the present day, but you can tell Sarah Connor has spunk because she rides a moped and sasses her chain's mascot. Their outfits are terrible. And that kid putting ice cream on her--to the amusement of the assholes she's serving--what a nightmare.

Also, Sarah's friend is awesome and won my heart with one line: "In a hundred years, who's gonna care?" This takes on vast levels of irony given that Sarah Connor is the Chosen One--er, sorry, Chosen One's Mom. I really hope this friend doesn't die.

Child's toy truck getting run over by the Terminator's stolen car. NOT SUBTLE, Y'ALL.

Sarah's friend's first reaction to the news of another Sarah Connor being murdered is to track Sarah into the break room to watch. Efficient way of letting Sarah know something's up and another good character moment.

The contrast between the Terminator effortlessly starting the car and Kyle Reese's labored hotwiring is nicely done. The PTSD flashback as he watches the bulldozer thing is also very efficient way of conveying information without the need for infodumping dialogue. Of course he has a female friend who dies for added trauma. Sigh.

Oh, so she and the friend--whose name is Ginger--are roommates? Well, that explains a lot. Oh, nope, I’m wrong, different person.

SARAH CONNOR HAS A PET IGUANA, I'M CHARMED. She looks so sad holding her pet iguana while her date's voice mail message plays - no going out after she got all dressed up. But at least she has the Iguana of Consolation!

(his name is Pugsley omg omg omg asghkkfl)

Why the hell does Ginger's bf kiss Sarah on the cheek as she leaves? Are they that close to each other or is this a weird quasi-sexual harassment thing (like how he was only kinda embarrassed when she picked up the phone by mistake while he was doing his phone sex thing thinking she was Ginger?)

CREEPY PARKING GARAGE IS CREEPY.

The police are all, "shit, this is awful," and trying to do something, but it isn't going to go well. Also, you can tell it's the '80s because the police lieutenant just casually lights up indoors like it's no big deal.

Like, literally the plot of this movie depends upon a) Sarah Connor's name and address in the phonebook, and b) no cell phones. The fact that these two are intimately connected IRL amuses me greatly.

God, as soon as Ginger and her bf revealed they were staying home, I knew they were toast. The fact that they're shown having sex just makes it all the more inevitable.

I like that the police decide to get a jump on the press AND maybe alert the other Sarah Connors they haven't been able to reach by announcing it over the TV. Sarah's at a restaurant eating pizza so she actually sees it!

The only reason Sarah Connor survives is because the Terminator went very literally through the list and Kyle Reese went straight to the right person. The difference between human intelligence and AI?

I cannot BELIEVE the club doesn't check ID, but maybe it's an illegal club anyway? Nice relevant background techno.

Of course the police's gambit backfires because Sarah can't reach them when she tries to call...

OH MY GOD PUGSLEY THE IGUANA IS SO PRECIOUS (but seriously does not stay in his cage, lol). Please don't let the iguana die...

The dangers of earphones and not being able to hear your surroundings being illustrated literally as soon as the devices were invented.

OF COURSE SARAH IS GOING TO LEAVE HER VOICE MAIL MESSAGE WARNING GINGER OF DANGER AT THE WORST POSSIBLE MOMENT. And she's going to tell him her location, too. This is... god, I don't have words for this.

Sarah left her driver's license in her apartment, what? Or is that an old ID? I can't tell. Welp, now he knows what she looks like, which he clearly didn't before.

This scene where the Terminator shoots up the club with an automatic REALLY hasn't aged well. I feel sick to my stomach just watching it. Of course Sarah is the second-to-last one out and has a human shield, because of course she dies. Sigh.

"Come with me if you want to live." I think that's the first words Kyle Reese has spoken in this movie! Not that the Terminator has said much, either...

Of course the police show up at exactly the wrong moment and draw exactly the wrong conclusions. Of course they end up dead, too. Sigh.

I would say Kyle's driving is atrocious, but there's no actual roads in 2029 LA, so this is much better conditions than he's used to.

Gosh, what would this movie do without alleyways?

Sarah's like "Can you stop it?" and Kyle looks away sheepishly, all WELL I WOULD IF I HAD MY LASER WEAPONS FROM THE FUTURE INSTEAD OF YOUR PUNY '80S GUNS.

Oh, he says he's going to ditch the car, but instead Kyle finally explains things to Sarah, and we're in yet another parking garage. Parking garages and alleys, that's this movie. Oh, and hotwiring cars.

Kyle's monologue about the defense network computers setting off nuclear war is a very '80s manifestation of a very '80s fear. Several '80s fears, now that I think about it. (Wasn't this also the plot of War Games?) Not that it's not topical today, but I think it's expressed in different formats now.

I hate that Sarah is only special because she's the Source of the Savior instead of the actual savior herself. I hate this so much.

Kyle and the Terminator playing "who can shoot better while also driving" in a parking garage that seems to go on literally FOREVER, how is this possible. This is WHY shotgun is a thing.

Oh, good, he's finally letting Sarah drive while he shoots.

Ohhhh, now she's in police custody, and the Lieutenant is comforting her. I hope he doesn't die, but I know better than to hope that anyone other than the Final Girl survives this movie.

The "flex your artificial hand with a hole in it" scene is a bloody counterpart to Luke testing out his new prosthesis in ESB.

It says something about humans that the only way the machines could hunt them was to make them human-coated (human on the outside).

You can tell by the look on Kyle Reese's face when he says "Nobody goes home," that he knows he's on a suicide mission.

Why the hell doesn't John Connor go himself? Why was Kyle chosen? Because he had to lead humanity in the aftermath of Skynet's defeat or because it would make the upcoming plot twist that much more awkward? Probably both, but I wonder if they ever discussed this. "Uh... hi, dad? Dad-to-be?" (Reminder that Douglas Adams is right when he says the worst part of time travel is the grammar.)

Oh, god, the "eye repair" scene is nightmarish. Excellent job foreshadowing it, filmmakers. But still gross. So this is why he gets sunglasses.

(Does he have heat vision? Why do none of the future machines seem to have infrared sight? Wouldn't that be super-useful if you're human-hunting?)

Kyle Reese's "I DIDN'T BUILD THE FUCKING THING!" line is such a relatable mood. We the audience already knew that Time Travel = Mandatory Nudity, but I think it's a nice touch that Skynet assumed the Terminator could just work with whatever was available instead of needing to bring weapons. He’s weapon enough. 

Also, this implies the Terminator is just human ENOUGH to pass through the field, which might have been a reason they started working with human-augmented machines in the first place. The reasoning seems to be--no, really--if you put enough living human tissue over a machine, it's "alive" enough for time travel. I don't understand how this works, exactly, but fine.

Oh, good, the cops are giving her body armor now. That can only help. Oh, no, it's a fake-out to explain how the Terminator survived being shot.

I don't understand how this movie is not a walking billboard for gun control, I really don't.

Kyle Reese being all "things are going to shit and I'm going to seize the moment". I think the policeman he slugged might actually survive if he was knocked unconscious and otherwise stayed out of trouble? Don't think the Terminator's going to bother when he's got his real prey to deal with...

And the lietunant who was nice to Sarah is dead. I knew that was going to happen. Great, now the other detective is, too. Sigh. NO ONE IN THIS MOVIE GETS TO LIVE EXCEPT SARAH... and maybe Pugsley the iguana? I don't think he's dead...

Oooh, oooh, another visual theme of this movie is broken glass and smashing windows to unlock things. DON'T FORGET THE BODY ARMOR ON YOUR WAY OUT. (If that's not Chekhov's body armor, I'm going to be very surprised.)  

God, it's so weird to contrast the different fates of the Terminator franchise and the Star Wars films, especially given their similarities.

Oooh, oooh! Huddle together for warmth under a bridge! Fall in love!

Skynet has no freakin' subtlety. You can tell they're not human because they automatically decide the best way to keep Sarah Connor from having kids is to kill her, not to have her doctor give her a fake diagnosis so they can perform a hysterectomy or some other scheme. Or even just giving her birth control.

OR HOW ABOUT EVEN CREATING A SPECIAL MODEL TERMINATOR SHE COULD DATE WHO WAS STERILE AND THEREFORE SHE'D NEVER GET PREGNANT. And then Kyle Reese would be the obnoxious dude trying to break them up for the good of humanity and constantly trying to prove to Sarah her hot boyfriend is actually a robot, and Sarah just thinks he's delusional/trying to get in her pants.

(Oh, my god, I want this fic now.)

Oh, she just discovered Kyle's hurt now, ordering him to take off his clothes, there's only one way this can possibly end.

Nice contrast between the Terminator calmly repairing his bloodied self and Sarah feeling nauseous and having Kyle talk to her while she fixes him.

Oh, god, the way Kyle Reese describes John Connor makes me wonder if Kyle had a crush on HIM or if he knew he was John's father from the get-go. FICS FICS FICS, WHERE ARE THE FICS.

Oh, okay, so Reese volunteered because he wanted to meet "the legend--Sarah Connor". Please tell me she's a legend because she's a badass, not JUST because her son is important. Please. Or at least allow me to keep my illusions, okay?

The way Reese looks at her is distinctly hero-worshipping, which is kinda funny given their roles to date. Also, Sarah is pre-badass at this point -- she will become one as a result of the events of this film.

Sarah also has a problem with time travel tenses, I sympathize.

"Thank you, Sarah, for your courage through the dark years. I can't help you with what you must soon face except to say the future is not set.... You must survive or else the future will never exist."

LOL, John telling his mom she better level up or everyone is doomed... so why isn't SHE the savior again??

And--open question--what happened to HER by 2029? Why is it John and not Sarah who's in charge?

Ok, so the HKs DO have infrared, but what keeps them and the Terminator from finding people on various occasions? (Yes, plot, I know.)

"Tell me a bedtime story about your dystopic past-that-is-my-future and give me all kinds of Nightmare Fuel..." (That could have gone better.)

Where do Future Humans get their Future Guns and Gear?? Do they steal them from machines? How does that even WORK? Wouldn't it be easier for the machines to just, I don't know, get creative and kill them some other way?

Keeping with the machine-man parallels, Reese has his own "code numbers" rather like a serial number that he uses to ID himself.

DOGGIES! THERE ARE STILL DOGS IN THE FUTURE, yay!

Yup, the humans in 2029 live in squalor just like the homeless people in the film's present - which might explain why Kyle Reese is remarkably at home, with way less culture shock than you'd expect.

Too bad he and Sarah are on the run and can't go to a fast food restaurant or something fun he's never had before.

The future kids are watching a fire burn in the shell of a TV, OH MY GOD.

Like, it's kinda good the future isn't set because if this what humanity's come to, it might be better to send someone back in time and hope it goes differently? Of course, things can always get worse. Not that they had a choice - I think discovering the machines' plan forced their hand.

Kyle Reese has a photo - is that Sarah Connor? Or is that the woman who got killed earlier in the film? I can't tell.

Dogs barking at the fake people just like the dog barked at the Terminator in the '80s. Nice. Interesting they don't try to shoot the dogs.

Ahh,the photo is burning, the symbolism.... especially when Terminator's flesh melting is going to be a Thing coming up. Cut to: Sarah's sleeping face. Foreshadowing much? (Also: WORST BEDTIME STORY EVER.)

Okay, the way he brushes her face is kinda creepy and hasn't aged well. I hope Sarah has dogs in subsequent movies? I would if I were her.

OH MY GOD, the Terminator has suggested prompts for conversations and chooses "Fuck you, asshole". DYING.

Oh, he's got her address book... and her mom's address. That's how he finds her. Otherwise, there's no way this movie will end in thirty minutes.

Kyle stopping to pet the dog while Sarah gets them a hotel room is such a beautiful background moment.

Sad that even the shittiest '80s motel room is nicer than anything Kyle has ever seen.

AHHH, SHE CALLS HER MOM, this is the smart and appropriate thing to do, but there's no way this can end well for her mom.

I thought the scene was going to cut to her mom on the phone with a gun at her back (before the Terminator kills her), but she's talking to the Terminator mimicking her mother's voice and I... don't know what just happened, but pretty sure it isn't good for Sarah Connor's mom's survival. (Why they didn't go back in time and try to kill HER before she had Sarah... seems like there are so many ways to do this.)

LOL, you think Reese is going to be into food and instead he's into manufacturing explosives in the kitchen. Nice. What follows is Baby's First Improvised Weaponry Lesson.

"He'll find us, won't he?" "Probably." WELL MAYBE IF YOU HADN'T GIVEN SOMEONE YOUR ADDRESS AFTER HE TOLD YOU NOT TO, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN "LATER" RATHER THAN "SOONER", ughhhhhh.

Kyle's reaction when Sarah asks him about his previous lovers is HILARIOUS if you assume he's actually in love with John Connor. But this does answer the question of who the woman in the photo was: it was Sarah, he's been in love with Sarah the whole time (and now kinda embarassed/thrilled at the prospect of sleeping with his hero?)

I can't tell if Sarah genuinely thinks he's hot or if she just feels sorry that he's a virgin. I guess it doesn't really matter since they've been through hell together and sex is a valid way of coping. Also, while Kyle isn't  as muscular as the Terminator, he's no slouch in the shirtless department--and he's not wearing a shirt in this scene.

Kyle's admission that he "disconnects" to avoid feeling pain just heightens the machine-man continuum even further...

Oh, my god, John totally knows that Kyle's going to be his dad, and that's why he gives them the picture of Sarah. SO AWKWARD TO BE SET UP BY YOUR SON.

This is the '80s so they can't just have casual sex, he has to be in love with her, and have ALWAYS been in love with her, because this is ROMANCE, and she's the heroine (otherwise it would be morally wrong??). I get it, although this trope hasn't aged well and seems vaguely stalker-ish, even though relatively little stalking was involved.

So he loves her, but Sarah never says she loves him... but she's stressed out and exhausted and she feels sorry for him and he's hot, wtf not?

Hey, he lets her top! That was unexpected and also kinda sweet.

What was the point of Sarah telling her mother if her mother never called back and if they were only going to be there for a day? Shouldn't she be suspicious that her mom never called back? IDIOT BALL.

Kyle hears the dog barking and knows what's up right away. You can see the "oh shit" look on his face.

YET ANOTHER CAR CHASE... except now they're in a truck and the Terminator's on a motorcycle. Oh, goody. And he makes her drive once she pulls out the explosives. Oh, good, an underground tunnel!

I don't understand why the Terminator doesn't shoot out the wheels on the truck. He keeps aiming for Sarah, and I know that's his mission, but... seems like it might be easier to disable the truck first? IDK.

Of course leaning out the window makes it easier for the Terminator to shoot Kyle... now that he's delivered his Sperm Packet from the Future, his role is done and he's toast.

That's also the first moment that Sarah really takes agency by swerving and crashing the car. I think up until this point, she's just kinda gone along with everything...? NOT A COINCIDENCE.

Oh, great, now he has a tractor-trailer. Full of gas. And you have explosions. This will end well.

Wow, the Terminator didn't kill the passenger in the truck after all. Why waste energy, I guess?

I don't understand why he goes for the tractor-trailer instead of.. I don't know, just walking over and strangling Sarah? He's a lot stronger than she is and she's trapped in a wreck. I don't understand it. That seems WAY like overkill. And also gives her time to get her bearings and escape with Kyle.

Kyle jumping into the dumpster is oddly appropriate, given how often dumpsters and trash appear in this movie.

Sarah breathes a sigh of relief WAYYY too soon after the truck goes up in flames.

WHYYYY is she going so close to the flames, that's so dumb, it must be so hot and toxic fumes, whyyyyy? (So they can be RIGHT THERE when the Terminator wakes up, that's why!)

This time Sarah's the one to break a window and unlock a door. Agency! Character development! Whatever you want to call it.

Can you really turn an automated factory on that easily? Shouldn't there be... passwords, or something? But I like that Kyle does it "so he can't track us" - so the EMFs interfere with the Terminator's abilities??

And of course, there's the irony that the smart machine from the future is destroyed by by the dumb machines of the past.  Humanity's enemy is also its savior. (Can you imagine what would havehappened if the Terminator had been able to talk to them and convince them to kill the humans / figure out where they were?)

Hey, the Terminator busts down the door in its Final Form and does the EXACT SAME DOOR OPENING TRICK IT'S ALWAYS DONE.

Sarah pulls a chunk of shrapnel OUT OF HER OWN LEG. She gets to scream while she does it because she's female, but it's the foil to the other "repair/healing" we've seen - and a sign of her own transition/evolution.

Kyle's face wound mirrors that of the Terminator, AHHH I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.

And of course the Terminator still isn't dead even after it's lost half its body and is just this metallic torso dragging itself across the ground with its arms. Because we're still not done yet. Both Sarah and the Terminator have leg wounds, so they're both crawling, I like it. EVEN MORE PARALLELS.

Oh, god, it's on a conveyor belt now. NIGHTMARE FUEL. And then some sort of ventilation shaft? Oh, god.

And she's able to press the button as it's strangling her and issue a snappy one-liner LIKE THE ACTION HERO SHE IS! And watch its red eye stare balefully at her the entire time.

Oh, and THEN the police show up and she's put on a stretcher and bundled away. Could be worse, Kyle's on a stretcher zipped up into a body bag.

CUT TO: Sarah driving a truck in the desert. A pregnant Sarah is narrating into a microphone a message/memoir for her unborn son. There's a German shepherd in the backseat. Sarah's wearing the same headband we've seen before in Kyle's photo of her. She's got a pistol in her lap that she handles coolly and calmly.

She's in Mexico, at a gas station full of chickens. She tells John she's worried about paradox, but he has to send Kyle. So John DOES know, and gave Kyle the photograph so he'd be primed to fall in love with Sarah, thus guaranteeing his existence. The German shepherd is a Very Good Dog.

Sarah's very blunt about the fact that she and Kyle only had a few hours together, but says "we loved a lifetime's worth" and I'm not sure that checks out, but okay. Maybe on Kyle's end? I feel like Sarah barely had time for any of this, and maybe some of it is retroactive, but... anyway, maybe it's a story she tells herself so she can live with it, especially since she may not be interested, open to, or willing to risk any more relationships in the future, given that she's a perpetual target.

While she's talking about Kyle, her face twists up and a kid snaps a photo with his Kodak camera, and claims if she doesn't pay for it, his father will beat him. She knows it's a scam but takes it anyway, talking him down to four dollars instead of five.

The kid takes the money and runs away, crying about a storm coming. Sarah sighs. "I know," she says, and puts on dark sunglasses as tumbleweeds roll and she drives away, waiting for the apocalypse, towards some mountains that look awfully early-CGIish.

Credits roll. Acknowledgment to the works of Harlan Ellison - that's cool.

Wow, okay. Well that was a ride.

Reading the Wiki: I like how James Cameron decided to cast Michael Biehn as Kyle Reese because he was famous at the time, even though he's nowhere near a household name compared to the film's other stars. O.J. Simpson was floated as a possible Terminator, irony. Harlan Ellison credit was added after he threatened to sue for infringment--oh.

Also, (male) critics talk about how the Terminator represents masculinity, and the ideal man is both machine and human? I guess I don't really see the Terminator as ideal masculinity, but that's a rant for another day...

Also: wtf happened to the iguana??

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #236

“so i asked you once, and i ask you again: where do your roots start, and where do your roots end?”

Do you wear a ring on your finger? Yeah, a Supernatural reference best friend one. Do you listen to your friends’ advice when they give it to you? I mean, it depends on the kind of advice and the seriousness of the issue. I'd say in most cases, yes. What’re you listening to right now? "Angel Eyes" by New Years Day ft. Chris Motionless. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It has been, twice. I don't think I'll do it again because my glasses are just in the way and they come out and get lost too easily. Is your last ex still someone you care about and do you still have romantic feelings for your ex? Yes to both. My feelings towards her haven't changed at all, we just made a heavily-discussed, hard, but wise decision for the time being. Are you someone’s best friend? Sara. What’s the biggest annoyance in your life right now? Annoyance, ummm... oh, easy. Being poor as dirt. That's only slightly under my skin, y'know? Have you spoken to your mother today? Yeah, I live with her. When was the last time you cried and why? PTSD. It's started to become relevant again, jOY to THe WOrlD!!!!!1!!!1!!!!! Is there someone who makes you instantly smile when you receive a message from them? I mean I don't always smile, but I consistently do get excited. If someone loved you right now, would you want them to tell you? *confused screaming* Do you like to cuddle? If I'm seriously romantically into you, yes. Is any part of you sad at all? I think that's always going to be a thing for me, somewhere down in there. Do you like seafood? Only shrimp, and even that I don't like in some forms. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah. Does more than one person like you? Idk. Do you ever worry that people might be talking about you behind your back? Always. Fuck, I think Sara's the only person I can count on to never. Do you call your partner ‘baby’? I hated it and never used it 'til Sara. I eventually did, and somehow, it felt okay and not disrespectful??? Idk if I'll use it again. What's the most boring guy’s name out there? Like, "Bob" or something. Do you know how to play Mahjong? Nope. Ever had a promise ring? No. What’s the biggest turn off in the opposite sex? Send me a dick pic and I will actually KICK you in the dick. Fun fact, even though I'm still bi, visually, penises gross me the fuck out and so I'd rather see someone's as little as possible, m'kay? Doing that is like a surefire way for me to decide "oh no bye boy." How often do you catch yourself daydreaming? A whole lot. This time last year, were you single? No. Who is someone you’ll always hate? The doctor that put me on a medication that put around 100 pounds on me and blamed it aaaaaall on me. :^) Do you know anyone with the same name as you? Yeah, just spelled differently. Who knows your biggest secret(s)? Sara. Do you ever read the threads on r/AskReddit? No. Are you currently stressed out about anything? You have no fucking idea. What’s your Instagram @? brittanymphotography or eldritch_obscura, depending on what kind of photography you're into. Don't have a personal one. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Are you in love with anyone at the moment? It's so complicated. I think, but I also question the "in" love part. That and just "loving" are different to me. I want her, I want Jason, and here I am strictly monogamous. I barely understand what I feel romantically rn. If a friend called you to help hide a body, would you help or turn them in? UM fuck that I'm calling the cops. Have you ever had a crush on someone that, now as you look back, is completely embarrassing? Not really. How would you react if a friend started dating your ex? When "ex" is used singularly, I always assume you want The Ex. So, regardless of friend, that'd feel weird, but with certain people/levels of friendship, less so than others. If you were in an emergency, which friend would you call first? So not family? Uhhh, I don't know. It depends on the kind of emergency. Ever kissed someone who wasn’t single? No. Other than that "someone who wasn't single" being my partner. Are you single? if no who are you dating and for how long? Not right now, no. What kind of music do you listen to? Tons of different forms of metal, rock, indie, and I'm even into some electro stuff now. Do you have any YouTube videos of yourself? Thank the merciful lord, not anymore. What’s your fave YouTube video? BIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHH the one featuring Dark in A Heist With Markiplier. I am not exaggerating my love of White Suit Dark. Use three words that best describe your best friend: Passionate, loyal, and resilient as a motherfucker. Now use three that best describe you: Also passionate, empathetic, and caring. List three things that describe your crush/love: Look I love someone but am also preoccupied with the idea of Jason coming back to me. It's not a "crush," it's being in love with a memory. I don't have a clue how to answer this rn. Is there someone in the family that no one really talks to? As far as extended family goes, yeah. Have you ever been romantically interested in a coworker? N/A What is the game you’re currently playing most often on your phone? None; I have no games on it because my phone has incredibly small memory. Same. Are you close to someone who is mentally unwell? Well, define "unwell." I have a load of friends and family with mental disorders, but calling them "mentally unwell" seems too severe. Do you have an opinion on adopting/purchasing a pet? Adopt, dude. There are so, SO many cats and dogs and I'm sure more that need a home, but you'd rather pay hundreds for a dog with likely some sort of health problem from extreme breeding than adopt an animal for a far cheaper price that ALREADY needs a family? Come on, now. Have you ever read any of your idols’ books/autobiographies? I read Ozzy's autobiography. Do you know anyone who is freaked out by cats? ???????????? no????????????? What name would you pick for yourself? Probably "Zoey." Do you enjoy going to live shows? Do concerts count? 'Cuz yeah. Who do you spend the most time with? My mom, I guess? She's the only one I live with, but she's like, never home because she works more than she breathes. What color do you wish your hair was? Natural hair, blonde. So much easier to dye, jc. Does any of the jewelry you wear have sentimental significance? The ring mentioned earlier, as well as the bracelet Sara also gave me. Who is your favorite drummer? Eh, no op Do you find musicians attractive? This is a dumb question... It depends on the musician??? If you could get any piercing, what would it be? I want a microdermal below/near the outer corner of my eye NOW. But I have glasses so it would totally ruin the purpose, ugh. Do you scream, yell, jump around and dance at shows or do you stand still? Just cheer, really. I wouldn't call it "screaming." I guess I can yell, too? Have you ever lost your voice from screaming so much? "No. I’ve had a sore throat." <<<< This. What’s your favorite color on the person you have feelings for? Both Sara and Jason, as well as like anyone, I love wearing black. Actually, Sara is super cute in light colors, like baby pink. Ugh talking about them at the same time feels fuckin weird. Who’s your favorite horror monster/killer? Alright, let's just say like, the "traditional" guys. I suppose Jason? His silence, totally casual pursuit, and mask creep me out, man. What kind of music do you prefer to listen to when driving? When I myself am driving, I don't want music on. I can't concentrate. Are you willing to board airplanes? I've gone up to see Sara like... three times within two years, I think? They don't scare me too much. I don't like takeoff, though. Too rocky and dizzying. Do looks really matter to you when it comes to friendship? ??????????? what?????????? the fuck??????????????? Do you accept friend requests from people you don’t know? Nope. I have to not only know you, but care more about you than like the average acquaintance of whatever. What is one of your best talents? Writing, I guess? Are/were you a rebellious youth or angsty teen? ha ha oh BOY Do you put your change in a jar for savings? No. How do you feel about transvestites? BITCH y'all great. I love you. Fuckin ROCK YA SHIT. Do you know anyone with a land line at their house? Yes, actually. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Certain kinds of daydreams. Have you been in a fist fight with someone you didn’t want to fight? I've never had a physical fight. Has anyone ever convinced you to do something you didn’t want to? Sure. Usually for my own benefit/growth, though. Are you a sensitive person? Yeah, quite a bit. Do you enjoy writing? Yep. Are you a germ-o-phobe? YEAH. Would you ever own a hairless rat, cat or dog? I would TOTALLY have a sphynx. There's this one breed of dog too and is furless on most places but does have some furry areas and are so ugly they're cute, and I once almost did adopt a hairless rat. So there's your answer. Do you prefer big, fluffy towels or normal sized/smaller towels? BIG FLUFF What is the image on your beach towel? Don't have one of those. Are you good with making eye contact? NO. I never know how long to maintain it and overthink it HEAVILY. I avoid it most of the time. What is your favorite book that was turned into a movie? Probably The Outsiders. I thought it did the book great justice. Do you like the movie or the book better? I don't remember either well enough. Do you watch porn? No. I don't want to watch some strangers bang each other. It's in no way arousing to me. What’s your favorite flavor of applesauce, if any? I guess just normal? Do you go to a firework show every 4th of July? Nah. Are you diabetic? No. Are you allergic to gluten? No. I don't think I'd survive. Are you lactose intolerant? No. Do you live with your parents? Just my mom. Parents are divorced and Mom had full custody, and my two sisters are proper adults that can survive without their mommy. :^) How much experience do you have written down on your resume, approximately? NOT A LOT!!!!!!!! I only count like, one damn job that was valid/lasted a couple months, but only because I very rarely worked. I also only include my previous online college, and should I create a resume now, obviously the one I currently attend. What’s your favorite song to dance to? I do not dance, my friend. What do you think of your parents? Both of them are great. Mom is the reason I'm (in the big picture) healthy, even alive. I WOULD be dead, died a long time ago, if it was not for that woman. Saved my life again and again and again, been there for me through both the same old shit and new madness. I'mma stop here before I actually cry just thinking about how thankful I am for her. Dad, too, I love, and I aspire to be as positive as he seems nowadays. His loyalty to my sisters and me, especially after the shit I've said, is incredible. He doesn't take a lot too seriously, and that's nice, especially when you're having a hard time. He's an optimistic guy now that always makes an effort to cheer you up. He's a total goof, too. He's just fun to be around. What do you think makes you attractive to other people? HA, fuck if I know. I guess my vertical lip labret stands out? Everyone I've dated since having it has at some point pointed out that that's like, my trademark that makes me recognizable right off the bat and that it looks good on me. One of the few things I even like on myself. Would more money make you happier? Look me right in the fucking eye and answer "no" to this. What is one of your favorite memories as a child? Watching my older sister play demo discs' video games after waking up. It's something so simple, but idk, I love remembering that. What’s your favorite kind of cake? Probably red velvet, like gd that shit good. Who is your favorite sports team? Idc. Like I have a natural fondness towards the Carolina Hurricanes 'cuz they're Dad's favorite and we've gone to some games together, but I really don't care. Who would you like to get to know better? I have this high school acquaintance named Courtlynn on my Facebook that seems so cool and relatable. She seems to like me too (not romantically, but she's really supportive, hearts like everything, comments the sweetest stuff sometimes, all that), I just think both of us are shy to reach out. What is the strangest food you ever ate? "I don’t eat anything I consider strange. I’m so picky and basic." <<<< Big 'ole fat same. What’s your favorite thing to order at a Chinese food restaurant? I exclusively only eat pork fried rice and/or egg rolls. Are you an organ donor? YES!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE BE ONE!!!!!!!!!! YOU DON'T NEED THEM ONCE UR DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!! THE LIVING DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SAVE SOME LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What’s your favorite candle scent? FRESH BAKED BREAD MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM What would you do if you found an abandoned animal? Check for identification and call if a number is given, offer it food and water, put a notification up on Facebook about a lost pet... all that stuff. We'd try to avoid a shelter, probably, because yeah. Euthanization is a thing. Have you ever kissed someone who had a tongue piercing? I am the one with the tongue piercing lmao. No. Is it easy for someone to make you cry? OH YES, QUITE. How many children can you see yourself having? IF I had kids, IF, I could not possibly imagine myself with more than two. What is your favorite PlayStation 1 game? SILENT HILL FUCK MAN I LOVE THAT SHIT. Are you competitive? Not really. Depends. Black and white or colored photos? It very much depends. Composition, lighting, content, all that contributes to what I find more aesthetically pleasing. Do you prefer to date younger, older, or the same age as you? Preferably around my age. What’s something from the past that you don’t miss at all? Being a depressed mess every waking moment of my life. Do you like ice cream cake? Not really. Do you wash your hair every day? No, every day is bad for your hair. Do you have trouble sticking to promises? Definitely not. I'm good at that. Have you ever made out with someone of the same sex? Very briefly. She thought she was ready, but not quite. What kind of headphones do you have? Right now they're literally just flimsy hot pink earplugs from a dollar store lmao. How often do you go to parties? Never. Do you sleep in awkward positions? I don't think so. Do you experiment a lot with new looks on yourself? Not really. Where is your favorite place to be kissed? Don't touch my tits with, like, anything. Do you ever quote your favorite movie in normal conversations? No? Do people ever tell you that you look stoned when you’re not? No. Do you suffer from anxiety or depression? *shrugs* why not both? Do hospitals freak you out? To a degree. Been there enough times to both get semi-used to it, but it also agitates old wounds and makes me antsy to get out. What about cemeteries at night? I've never experienced this, so I can't say. But the idea doesn't really creep me out, no. What is your favorite Nintendo 64 game? I never had one. Were you mean as a little kid? Nah, I was a good kid actually.

[starkerforlife6969]

REPLYING TO ANON MESSAGES 

This is another lengthy reply to all those lovely messages so I don’t spam you! Once again, no prompts filled here- they would be separate posts, so if you’re waiting on a fill, i promise it’ll come through eventually XD All you need to know is there will be a part 4 to the Mafia AU with Starker, Winterspider, Spidershield and Strange x Peter. It’ll be about two weeks but it is happening and I’ll let you all know! Keep sending me amazing ideas and being as gorgeous and wonderful as always. 

1) So um I was the person that randomly confessed to you the other day and I sent another ask to confirm that it was indeed you who I was massively crushing on and you were thinking it might be another blog,no it’s 100% you.Idk what tumblr did to that ask I feel like it disappeared but I just wanted to make sure that you know it was you bc how can you even doubt someone could be crushing on you I literally feel like Peter in every starker fic ever when he sees Tony whenever I see your username im-

Hello, gorgeous! Yes, I did get your other message but i’m so sorry I didn’t reply! It’s been so hectic and I’ve been travelling :(( but i am so flattered. I don’t know why because i am certain you could have anyone with how kind you are. You are the sweetest thing ever and you are such a darling I cannot even deal with it. You can message me whenever you like, or stay anonymous if you feel more comfortable <3, but there’s no need to be nervous, honeybee! IM NERVOUS because i can never ever live up to your adorableness hahaha. Stay as beautiful as I know you are! xxx 

2) @thebadthingshappen: I just wanted to say that your writing is really amazing and a great inspiration as someone who wants to start writing starker. I always look forward to your updates and appreciate the time and effort you put into everything. If you ever need someone to talk to or bounce ideas off of I’m here and my inbox is always open. :D

First, um, I love your username so hard. I read it entirely in Peter’s voice. Second, this is the sweetest thing ever oh my gosh. I ALWAYS WANT SOMEONE TO TALK TO so I’d love to message you!!!! The next time I’m stuck for ideas i’ll come and spam you! Or you can message me whenever ;) x

3) ConstructionWorkerTony-anon here. Just... Thank you! 💕💕💕 that was great :)

NO THANK YOU. I’m so happy you liked it, because I know I added a bunch of kinks you didn’t ask for and I got worried but -yay!!!! 

4) @hunka-munka OMG I JUST FINISHED READING YOUR MAFIA STARKER FIC AND I AM IN LOOOOOOOVEEEEE omg omg I'm going through so many emotions 🙈first off I adooooooore how you wrote bucky I squealed in every scene he was in lol that ending for the 3rd part slaayyyyyed me are you planning on doing a 4th part??? I absolutely love the different dynamics between Peter and the rest of the characters it's so much fun to read about. Sorry for the long ask aaaaahhh i just needed to scream about it!!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS MADE MY WHOLE DAY. Ahhhhhh, you are so sweet!!! I am planning a fourth part! It’s pretty much planned (and you will have more bucky, you precious bean) but it’s going to take a while to write cuz my classes start back up again :(( I’ll let you know when it’s out though! (should be about 2 weeks!) 

5) @hoe4parker I JUST READ THE THIRD PART OF THE MAFIA FIC W BUCKY AND STEVE AND TONY AS PETER’S DADDIES AND IT WAS SO SO SO GOOD

Yeah, I don’t deserve you, let’s be real. You guys are all so frickin kind I can’t even deal with it. 

6) Oh my god!!!!!! Mild social anxiety anon here to tell you that part 3 is amazing!!!!

*sobs with appreciation* honey!!!!! I can get mild social anxiety sometimes too, and you are so amazing and AHHHH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, this put a huge smile on my face!!!! 

7) Ahhhh.... Part 3 was excellent!... I kind of wish Steve and Bucky had a thing and at some point they kiss (just a loving kiss... or fuck you know, whatever) and Peter see's it and gets sad or maybe he had a bad day and Tony's somewhere and he just wanted to get home and fuck or cuddle one of them and then he see's that and he's jealous. That'd be fun. I'm such a sucker for angst and conflict... and hate-fucking. Great stuff xd Seriously, I love this series though... -🦊

Honey, I’m sorry I’m answering this in this section because that means it won’t get filled :(( but that’s only because I’ll ship peter with everyone, and even though i think steve and bucky is the cutest thing ever, I just don’t write them very well :(( IM SORRY HONEY that being said, i love angst and conflict too, so maybe there’ll be some more of that sometime!!!! thank you so much foxy, for your lovely comments seriously, they made me so happy. 

8) The Mafia Boss Tony Part 3 was stunning and for some reason the very end was funny to me... I think it's cause I have PTSD and still get panic attacks and occasionally pass out from them but they're acting like he died. And my head is just like 'Guys. Calm the fuck down. Put some actual clothing on the kid so he's warm enough. Lie him down. Yes, have someone in there to check his breathing. He's gonna be a little disoriented... but he's not dead guys... calm the hell down'. It's brilliant XD

Dude, I died laughing XD I get panic attacks sometimes (very mild and no ptsd, but you do and ahhhh I was so scared you were gonna say I messed it up but you didn’t and you’re so sweet!!! And honey, I’m sorry you have them :( but i know you’re strong and amazing <3) and they do overreact so much but it’s like my god awful attempt at drama hahaha, thank you so much for this comment, it honestly made me so happy. 

9) Is there going to be a fourth mafia au? I’m in love with the ones have posted ❤️❤️ 

YES THERE WILL BE BECAUSE LOVELY PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE SO ENCOURAGING 

10) MAFIA PART 3 OH MY GOD im :(( abt peter like i want my babey safe and feelin good awh ((also i love your writing sm ur so good))

seriously. I don’t deserve you. you guys are all gonna get such good karma with all the positivity you put out into the world. I’m so happy you enjoyed it! x PS, Peter will be feeling good, hahaha, he’s gonna get spoilt rotten by everyone. 

10)  @aggressively-precious AYE part two of your mafia AU is a goddamn GIFT you're my hero xo

YOU are a gift, seriously. thank you for existing and bringing joy into my life. 

11) this fandom is full of talented and sweet people, I'm so thankful for having y'all really. have a nice day love ❤

*sobs* it really is! thank YOOUUUU 

[jodiwalker]

These Are the Best Things Happening on ‘Game of Thrones’ Right Now, Part II

Hey y'all, something bad is coming on Game of Thrones, so just real quick, let's remember the good times in episodes 3 and 4, when teenage assassins were reuniniting with their teenage ruler sisters and teenage psychic brothers. When Littlefinger was getting ragged on so hard. When Jon and Davos had nothing better to do than chalk up the cave walls of Dragonstone with little bitty zombie drawings to prove a point and flirt with Missandei, respectively.

There were Catspaw Dagger references for the most careful of watchers, Jon saying "I'm not a Stark" as a Targaryen dragon flies overhead for the mildly observant viewer, and there's Jon and Dany touching each other's wrists in caves for everyone else who's just like, I don't understand what's happening here, I've never understood what's happening here, I don't care what's happening here, but I will be here until it's all over and Dany has married her nephew, SO HELP ME R'HLLOR.

So, once again, this is not a recap, not a review, just a simple, definitive, and all-encompassing list of The Best Things Happening on Game of Thrones right now (which is to say last week and the week before):

Almost Everyone Playing the Game of Thrones Is a Baby-Child

It suddenly became clear in episode 3 that while the lead characters in Game of Thrones don't seem particularly young when they are commanding their armies and large, magic animals—when they come face to face in a throne room, they suddenly seem like two particularly formidable and hormonal teenagers facing off at a Model United Nations simulation. Except, y'know, one of them recently died and was resurrected by a thousand year old sexy priestess, and the other has a bunch of giant toddler dragons and, like, ended slavery, I think.

I'm, of course, speaking of Dany and Jon, the two most popular rulers at Westeros High. Now, since Kit Harrington and Emelia Clarke are each 30, you wouldn’t think they would seem that young…but they're also both, like, 5'1 if they're an inch, so when they first came face-to-face in episode 3, they more often resembled a couple of adorable Shiba Unus tussling over a Kong ball and sniffing each other's butts, instead of two rulers arguing over getting to save the world in the specific way they want to.

In that sense, their first meeting was a particularly precious reminder of how young they still are. Yes, all the GoT kids were aged up three or four years from the books at the start of the series, but Dany and Jon are still only 22 or 23 as they fight to save the world from heretofore unknown evils—and by that, I of course mean Queen Cersei making ever woman get her goofy pageboy haircut. 

When Missandei announces Dany like one of Blair Waldorf's be-headbanded lackeys, Game of Thrones briefly turned into a Disney Channel Original movie, bringing along all the clashing dynamics of darkness and precociousness a DCOM denotes. You can practically hear Missy saying, "You stand in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn, President of the Student Council, rightful member of the A/B Honor Roll, rightful owner of a used Ford Prius she got as a reward for said A/B Honor Roll, Haver of an Afterschool Volunteer Internship at a Veterinary Office, Breaker of Bullies, the Sister of a College Sophomore Who Lets Her Wear His Old Fraternity Formal Shirts So People Think She's Cool, Voted Most Likely to Play with Fire and Like It a Little Too Much, and the Survivor of a Particularly Bad Case of Strep Throat Last Year.

You scared yet Jon Snow, you creepy-loner-who-doesn't-know-he's-hot-and-smokes-cigarettes-behind-the-school-but-secretly-makes-all-As-and-has-a-heart-of-gold-Patrick-Verona-lookin'-ass, you?

If Dany hasn't stood up on the Iron Throne and tearfully choked her way through a rendition of the "10 Things I Hate About Jon Snow" by the end of all this, I will be shocked. Because, as we will discuss later, Dany doesn't hate King Jon (King Snow? No, that doesn't sound right, does it Davos)…not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

The Stark Children Are Happy…Well, As Happy As a Live Stark Child Can Be

Of course that's not even mentioning the actual children roaming around Winterfell with severe PTSD and a recently developed case of the huggies. Sansa's running the Stark show at Winterfell while Jon is away at Dragostone giving up all his weapons and doing arts and crafts in the underground caves, and in her time as a prisoner of various evil families, she seems to have picked up quite a knack for organizing grain supplies and commanding that leather be added to armor because the dipshits apparently haven't heard that WINTER HAS COME.

I thought Sansa would be cool for like an episode or two and then go back to being dreadful, but her recent transition from Little Sister to Big Sister inside the walls of Winterfell seems to be suiting her well. When Meera finally brings Brann back home and after dragging his 6'4 ass all over the North, she gets exactly zero sibling hugs because her brother died protecting Brann—justice (and a warm shower) for Meera—but the newly minted Three Eyed Raven gets a sweet embrace from big sister Sansa. 

He returns the love by informing Sansa that now he can see everything that's ever happened in the world, including the worst night of her life when she was forced to marry Ramsay and he raped her.

Hey Brann, I know it's not your fault that Jaime Lannister pushed you out of a window, and your dad got beheaded, and Theon fake-torched you, all setting you on a fan-least-favorite path toward becoming the Three Eyed Raven but—you totally suck! Someone else can tell Jon he's a Targaryen if it means you having to be all weird to your sisters now that you're finally, gloriously, wonderfully reunited. In this extended high school analogy I've been drawing, Brann is the kid who took one philosophy class at the community college for extra credit and thinks he knows everything now. You don't know shit, Brann!

Okay, fine, Brann knows some shit, and is obviously intended for some higher purpose in this game of thrones or he surely wouldn't have been—quite literally—dragged through all seven seasons. I just wish that purpose was being a nice supportive brother to his super-survivor sisters, which brings us to…

ARYA IS BACK AT WINTERFELL AND SHE SPARRED WITH BRIENNE AND MAYBE THEY CAN GO LADY-ARMOR SHOPPING TOGETHER NOW, WHAT'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD?!

As it turns out, the already disparate Stark children have become even more contrasted with time and (grueling, awful, traumatic, painful, oftentimes unbelievable) circumstances. Sansa, who was a pretty girl who wanted to marry a prince, is now the Wardeness of Westeros' largest region with a keen political mind and a dude who would fucking love to marry her that she's constantly mocking. Arya was a tomboy who had a real good time at her afterschool swordsmanship lessons, and has since grown into a stone-cold assassin who cuts people's faces off and magic-pastes them onto her own face, then feeds those recipient of the face-cutting to his own family, and then also kills that entire family. Brann has turned from a boy who liked to ride horses into Westeros' creepy Miss Cleo, and also, he no longer goes by Brann, and also, is a pretty constant dick to the women in his life.

That all kind of made me love their reunions even more though. Arya saying, "Do I have to call you Lady Stark?" as her first greeting to Sansa was incredible. Sansa replying, "Yes," very much in the way of Old Sansa, but then turning around and hugging Arya and bonding with her about how much pain they've lived through and how everything they used to know is dead except for each other was even better. And Sansa telling Arya that "Brann has visions," in the same tone of voice you might warn a guest that your little brother has recently gotten really into making his own chainmail was EVEN BETTER.  There was also Jon all the way over at Dragonstone being all "She's startin' to let on" when Tyrion says that Sansa is smarter than she lets on—love those two, sure hope Littlefinger doesn't turn them against each other and shatter my heart into a million pieces!

But simply the best was watching those three rough and tumble Starks wheel and walk their way back from the Weirwood tree and into their home at Winterfell, down a couple family members, not really sure of who they've become, and probably on the brink of being murdered by ice zombies, sure…but they're also together—three lone wolves restored to a pack—and, for now, they're alive.

Of course, it is hard to ignore all that side eye Sansa was giving Arya as she sorted that out that Lil' Sis super-duper was not kidding about having a murder list. But Sansa isn't on said murder list, and hey, she also once fed a dude to his (canine) children, so maybe this girl gets it. Maybe everything will be fine and once Jon and Dany save the world, they can all go in on a family beach house together and parasail on dragons. Speaking of…

THAS-A-MUTHAFUGGIN-LOOT-TRAAAAAAAIN

I've always thought of Weiss and Benioff as kind of cool young dudes who were surprisingly hot and surprisingly married to Amanda Peet (which I would want to brag about in Emmy speeches too, no shade). But for some reason, recently, they've started to seem more and more to me like kind of clueless dads who, were we ever to see their legs in the after-show interviews, would be wearing pristine New Balances with loosely fitted light-wash jeans.

I don't know if it's because I recently fell into a deep dark YouTube black hole where I watched clips of a panel where Sophie Tuner and Maisie Williams interviewed B&W and just keep making fun of them for being old (of note, Sophie Turner is really funny). Or if it's because they're quite literally getting older and making this show where they have to spend three million dollars to light 20 real people on fire in order to make it look like 1,000 fake people are being lit on fire has probably aged them an extra decade.

But mostly I think it's because now that they're out from under the shadow of GRRM they can stop pretending they're dead inside and let their TV pathos flags fly, and that alone makes them seem a lot less hard than they used to. Them talking about how Dany and Jon it's so obvious Jon and Dany have developed feelings for each in the cave scene was just adorable. Guys! They've had like, two conversations, and neither one has made a single inappropriate "bend the knee" joke which they obviously would if they were two real life 19-year olds falling in luv in a cave.

All this is to say that, I am so thankful to them for bringing GoT to my television, but truly, only two dumb dads could have taken this insane, explosive, dragon-fueled battle and called it…"The Loot Train Attack." Or as I prefer to call it: the mutha fuckin' LOOOOOT TRAAAAAAIN!!!

There is nothing that I can personally write that would make the battle where Dany brought dragons to a sword fight at the counsel of Jon any better than it already was, so I'll be brief: It is in episode 4 of season 7, at the end of the Loot Train—LOOT TRAAAAAAAIN!—battle, as Jaime charges Daenerys with a giant spear, that it became clear just how impossibly complex this web of character has become. It used to be impossible to root for anyone because they were all either evil or definitely going to die in the next episode exactly because they weren't evil. No more.

I had no idea who I would choose to live and die between Jaime and Dany. And that is perhaps unique to me because in this game of thrones, everyone can choose their own winner and we can all be simultaneously right and wrong. Just as the people of Westeros are born into certain houses, we all have our allegiances. But the time is coming for us to also make important choices, because things can only be happy reunions and convenient river dives and spare Sand Snake killings and flirty-cave-fun-times for so long. Sides will be chosen, alliances will be made, and main characters will start getting their heads chopped off again. Weiss and Bennioff might be out dads, but if TV has taught me anything—and it has taught me literally everything—it's that tough love is the most rewarding form of parenting.

And also that women always keep their bra on during sex—except for right here on H-B-O!

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

"40 acres and a mule"

Baby what the Hell you want a mule for?

Alright baby. Let me tell you.

You will never ever ever get reparations.

Y'all this lady instigated him and pissed him off. Called him a dam liar and a begger and all kinds of bad.

I quit watching it. I seen enough. "Hustler"

Bitch I'll hustle my fist in your teeth and get you a new set, don't talk hustle when you don't know a dam thing about it.

Let me tell you about me.

I'm registered 1/16 Muscogee (Musckogee and/or Muskogee as well) Creek Nation out of Oklahoma. Our tribe headquarters is in Oklahoma in a mound of dirt -- under a pile of earth is our headquarters.

We have the original council house of brick in town it's a measeuem were all very proud of. Its on 6th street. On a big ole square.

So. Let me tell you. We used to be in Georgia. That's why i picked Atlanta for a big ole fuck you fire. I picked others but I said "this is a government thing?"

"Not really Sabrina it's more police"

"I'm hearing government in that word. Can I fuck up Atlanta? I'll take some country Georgia but you know my tribe is from Atlanta specifically. I don't want no one to get hurt though"

Tree said "i got something perfect, a Wendy's because you use to live in Ireland, too Miss Red Leg hairs in the sun"

"Alright then. Ill take you on Then. Its a done deal".

This was 2008 and to be clear, we didn't start human trafficking in that parking lot -- they already was. 12 years and they ain't stopped. We did intervene but, they dumb and stubborn and they stayed away from the Wendy's unlike the other night. For the last 12 years. This way they would be more inclined to use it. Like we bust them and they keep on. They don't care. Its greed. An addiction. They can't see. So.

I get punched in the face and I get back up and fight again. Same thing - different American Dreams.

So Spain came now Spain is over by Europe. Look at a map. And we left. From fear, we went to Florida.

We didn't have no label. We were humans. We were love. So we moved down to Tampa area.

Then we got named by the whites. The whites then fought us unlike the Spaniards who just wanted to share and we didn't want to. So we just left.

So some of us was all fuck you. We ain't moving just because Spain said we did for them don't mean we will for you. So. We fought.

Some of us were captured. So then the white people said you will show us America, The New World. Like bitch you think we know it all been all over and shit like we got cars. Fuck.

So the whites raped and tried to kill all that refused to move. So they left them. We left them. They were named Seminoles.

Because semen they were raped and we also left the old that were unable to travel. And the small kids. Two words. Semen in. Olds. Raped. Wounded. Old and children.

The rest of us took the whites and Spaniards (some did and some didn't war) across the new world.

And we followed Creeks. The Spaniards knew the rivers went North and South. They wanted to go West.

So we walked. All the way to the Middle of the United States of America. And stopped.

We said we want our land. We want our trust. We want our lives back. You go do you and leave us here and alone without you.

The Spaniards agreed. And the whites of course so fucking greedy and non cognitive. Fought.

Eventually we got our land. My family. We had a big ole 2 floor 10 room mansion. It felt like.

32 years later the government decided they wanted to build a dam. And once again. Our land was gone.

And our land was stolen.

Now that glorious home we had that my family earned to show the way West is gone. Flooded under a lake built by a dam in Oklahoma.

They moved us to Okmulgee about 45 minutes South of Tulsa.

Its not a reservation. Anyone can live there. In fact our HQ is in the city limits.

And we don't have land. We don't have anything we were promised.

Since i don't live there and i live in New Mexico, I don't get any of the benefits. And because New Mexico Native Americans warred with each other due to the Hispanics from Central America. Other Nations don't like to help me.

Here. Native American tribes in New Mexico. They're prejudice against each other. And whites.

And it's really fucking bad. I used to work at the BIA. Beaururu of Indian Affairs. "What tribe are you?" And if you were Aztec you were cool. If you were Peublo you were fighting with Navajo. And vice versa.

And we were making sure people of ALL Tribes got money for their needs. Like for medicine or transportation. And our office was fighting each other.

Like what the Hell? We all have the same purpose here. We all come from the same place, we all have the same heart and same pain. And we're all are hurt and so why are you all hurting each other?

I got a tattoo of an Indian Head on my left lower arm so no matter what unless it was long sleeves, everyone could see.

And i would hear them physically hitting each other. And they all remembered I got the tattoo and i showed them when i came back from lunch and I wss all bleeding and it was brand new.

Then i went around and showed them all as it healed. Showed them progress and lack off.

So they would fight. The Aztecs didn't put up with shit like me. And so people would try to dominate them

So i could always hear them fight. And it was a big office. An entire floor of the big Compass Bank building in Albuquerque. But I could always hear them except on the complete opposite because door ways. But three certain ladies would go to the hall and call for me to go stop it.

You know. It was the year 2000. I was only born in 1985 although I have always used a different birthday since i was adopted of 1980.

So literally I was 15 years old. "Legally" i was only 19 and not even old enough to buy alcohol and there I was pulling grammas off each other And people old enough to be my mom.

They called me a stupid white. Because I am light skinned. A stupid white nigger. I know what that is. An abusive slave owner

Me!! Me of all people!!!

I already had PTSD coming out the ass and i could barely drag my ass out of bed in the morning because i wss so suicidal depressed. And i get called a slave owner. A lazy and abusive one at that!?!

"Well i don't see you working!! You wanna call people nigger you brown ass bitch?!?! Your ass is always fighting!! Why don't you go earn a paycheck!!" She regretted running her mouth at me more than 2x. I had shoved her and when she got closer, she claimed because she couldn't hear although people from the complete opposite walls came running, i punched her in the face. Cold coked her dead to the floor. She had that evil gleam. The dead Zulululu look. That evil dumb bitch look. And no fucking way was she touching me. So then her back up who was like 7 foot tall grabbed up my hair and vagina and threw me 8 feet across the room.

I just got up and sat at my desk and pretended like nothing happened. Just like the Zulululu do. I had road rash like a mother fucker tho.

I got him later in the parking lot. Shoved him in front of a moving car at 40 mph. This girl that worked with us. A 68 mustang all real metal total steel.

He never came back to work to mess with us. And,the girl got transferred to another floor. And I got called down for her 5th fight and I interviewed the people around the fight area and they said they all worked in peace until she had come. They had whites tho.

And most New Mexico Native Americans HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE whites.

So she got fired, I recommended it. She couldn't get along with anyone. I recommended she get a job on her reservation in Montana for her tribe and so the BIA paid for her to move. Citing emotional difficulties, PTSD due to government intervention in Native American lives.

So this man he's asking for reparation in this video.

And i just want to answer him..

You never will. They were gonna fire her. Leave her dead. I asked special they send her away to a place she could likely find peace.

Nd she did. But if it wasn't for me, she would had nothing.

And she had called me a white nigger and I got thrown 8 feet across the room because of her.

I'm adding her now and him to the list. Idc if they been interviewed, its eye for an eye. They are both Zulululu and still causing fights over nothing.

I had slammed her against the wall by her throat and i wanted to kill her and i should had. But i told her "im going to do something for yoh because i hate myself more than i hate you and you will accept it. And if hou keep acting like this you will receive death more than me slamming your head on this printer until you can't breathe" then i put all the pressure I could without killing her on her throat. Then killed her anyway. Died myself went through the black hole and dragged her ass back in her body pushed the EMT OFF ME, got up and jumped on her stomach and chest full body and killed her again then this bitch tried to go to the sun, so i got her ass back. Threw her ass back in. Woke up in the fucking elevator, trying to get outta the stretcher "oh im fine where is this dam bitch"

"Oh my God! You gotta lay down!"

"Fine i bet she's not back in" got out of my body and found her hiding in the dirt.

This bitch wanted to fight?! She was gonna find me fighting her. Behind death for the rest of her life.

She was old, too. Like 46... I was only 15/19. More than twice my age. 3x my real.

I woke up in the stretcher downstairs laughing and farting. She was crying how scared she was. I thought it was funny. I was so mad I didn't care how she felt. Scared was not what i expected. It surprised me and made me laugh. I didn't know how she would feel. She never stopped fighting. Scared of me? Nah. Im just an innocent sweet babe.

So other than her, i would show people my tattoo when the fought. "You and I. You and her. We all come from the same place. We are all Indians! Look at me! My tattoo! It hurt! For no reason and I didn't want it to! Lets just get over it and heal ourselves in our souls the Indian way!"

They had saw. Some had taken photos. They knew it hurt. It swelled up. It was red. Imflammed but not infected. Like anger of the hearts.

I shouldn't had to prove we suffered

So I ask those asking or demanding reparations, please don't.

We don't all have benefits. And we have pain and suffering. And a lot is jealousy because some tribes have more than others.

If you get reparations, i fear the ramifications.

"Oh them ni**ers got shit and we didn't"

Babes. Sometimes it just time to let go.

Just let it go, baby.

I can't think of my family's land and mansion under water. Flooded. I get punched in the fucking heart. And it hurts. It hurts so bad

I ain't a piece of trash. Following a dam creek so fucking far just to climb what looked like another mountain. Fuck that.

Then they flood it. Fuck you back.

Fuck you back. Fuck you back. They said. FUCK YOU. BECAUSE YOU DIDNT WANT TO BE RAPED AND WOUNDED AND YOU TOOK US TO THE MIDDLE OF THE COUNTRY ON YOUR BARE FEET AND HALF YOU DIED ALONG THE WAY BECAUSE WE BEAT AND RAPED YOU ANYWAY. FUCK YOU BACK FOR NO REASON THAT YOU WERE ALIVE AND IN OUR NEW WORLD FIRST.

OUR NEW WORLD. FUCK YOU. PIECE OF TRASH.

Lost city of Atlantis. People look for it by Greece and shit. Its just in Oklahoma.

We came from Atlanta. "Fine this can be your new Atlas location" said the Spaniards..

But they were too nice. Christopher Columbus was too nice. Spaniards brought food and shelters. But we we're afraid of them. Their odd food, and so on. We did not know what they were. We didn't recognize any one. When we went to Florida they did go with. It was exploration to them. Running away to us. They followed, just curious.

Then we understood. They were like children playing. Innocent. They followed. They kept us safe.

They knew we were afraid once there was a ravine. Their scouts spotted it. They knew we ran our horses too fast and we would all died. They raced ahead in the night while we camped and they all stood to block us off. 100 feet from the edge they formed a line of their own bodies to stop us.

That is when we knew we could trust the Spaniards. So we went scout back to Atlanta to see what happened there. And to tell what had occurred. That our lives had been saved.

Then we took court. We camped near side them for 10 days to decide how much of our lives we should give. Reports came back that 100% trust would be accurate. And so slowly we allowed the "wapuauhaluani" to lean into the Spaniards to truly see what they were all about.

We became friends.

But the whites took over the country. And we all lost.

So I understand what my brothers and sisters and my ma's and pas and little babies in the African American community is going through.

From the eyes of my current life as a registered 1/16 Native American, 23andme says only 3%

As a person to get a tattoo to stop war after I did so many years of community work in the Black Panthers where obviously I am not black any more and I was accepted.

I know what it feels like to be white and hated.

I know what it feels like to be hated for the color of my skin.

As a white person.

But fully accepted into the black community..

So excuse me when I go to a state that has an actual African American population and I just sit and stare looking like a true jack ass.

I just feel like myself. I feel complete. And I feel accepted.

And so not all of you know me. I do work in South America and all over the globe and i treat them all the same.

Reparations, i am afraid. I know and I believe will have repercussions this day and age.

So now Altlanta. Where i am from. My tribe was all brown there. Is now black.

I don't be ignorant and hate them because they took over my town.

That's not why i say. I say because it happens to everyone else.

And so I plan to treat people all the same. We do the DNA4U paid education and quizzes. And i know its not what you ask but it is done by the Tree of Infinite Knowledge.

And right now I'm just a POW and i can't do more than what I can.

But all you beautiful people that is gonna survive. I promise you.

Every single person on this Earth has suffered.

Every single person will get rewards for living. Every thing will be okay..

I know it's not today. Today is the fight for our beautiful children in this world and ourselves.

Its not almost over yet its not just beginning.

This is the orgasm state. Orgasm. So intense and wild and pleasurable and exhausting.

What comes after? Bliss and peace.

Tree keeps telling me two to four years more

My babies, it sounds so long. But every time he says 2 years I say "Well at least it's only 2"

I ask him 3 times a week. "How long is it now?"

We are gonna be okay.

You know those books that you pick the ending? What you do effects it?

Sometimes you can do 5 different things and the ending is the same?

People. I saw call it the "plandemic"

Trust me, it's planned so hard core the black hole feels it. We will win.

I gave up my only child. She was 4 years old. In 2008. I have a clone. And her spirit comes sometimes in it. And sometimes it's other ghosts.

People were wondering why I was crying the other day when I was driving. And I didn't want to say.

My daughter is in prison now. To keep her safe. You cannot imagine the intense fear I have every single day. And I don't even understand myself as for why.

I can see my daughter and she's safe and she's happy and laughing. But... She's a divine clone. My parents made her and the evil aliens took my real daughter.

They call her Sophia. She volunteered. Well. Voluntold. She said "someone needs to fix this! I was born on Martin Luther King's (Jr) birthday of his I have a dream speech and I have a dream too! For someone to fix this!!"

And my mom said from the dead, "I have a proposal"

Like I'm screaming and already bawling but u stop myself because she goes straight out of body and stands in front of my mom.

Its so beautiful. Then it is like a horrible Disney Fairytale curse.

"So i just want you to say yes and don't think about anything and don't think about your mom. She's hurt. Remember her back is broke? Now back to Martin Luther King. Yoh can make all dreams come true. You can be the Hero for the whole entire world because your dad is a mess and you can change this from oh 47 years to about 12 what do you think about that?"

"Yes!! I do! I want that! What do you think mom?"

And i could only stare at how beautiful mu child is. And I felt the horrific horror of how the Queen or fairy God mother puts the whole town to sleep for the curse and you know i began to bawl.

In our past lives. She wasnt the brave one. She was the first born. And she was always with me. Over protective like crazy. Someone was always watching just to make sure she breathed right and had all she needed immediately. Never went out. Always had 7 layers of guards between her and the outside world.

And my mom of all people was telling her to go free and go Just walk in the front door of evil to live.

I was proud. And joyful and in complete agony.

I had to do what was right.

God didn't send his only begotten son to die on the cross. That never haoend.

But a Goddess gave birth to a girl after having sex. And the aliens that attempted to kill her on a cross, named her Jesus and wrote a shameful book about her called the Bible. With nothing but lies. And that Jesus. The real Jesus. The Only Jesus. Sent her only daughter into the pits of Earths most Evil to destroy it with dreams.

So we will all suffer for two to four more years..

For that child to allow us to finish our work.

And no one will say the word reparations again. They will simply say "thank you, I am happy with the changes"

My mom promised me and my daughter.

Due to the True Annabelle parading around as Sophia (now in my prison and went swimming with a historical sibling that was born in a lifetime different than this in their shared hall cell) we are down to two to four years as opposed to 35.

So please quit fucking with Christopher Columbus.

The statues that are being taken down by states will be placed when it's safe to do so in places Christopher Columbus loved, if that is okay with every one else.

Robert E Lee as well. Tree has already publicly listed our blessed that we were so lucky to have that ARE heros for Earth.

Obviously not all white people are bad. But they used to be. Back then. Obviously I am 95% White according to 23 and me.

We had an emergency situation. So we changed the skin of all people not on the Africa continent to white. That os on the non American side. Later after invasions we changed all our good to brown.

This way. Because the invading aliens were so power full. So #1 is protect.

So Northern Europe was changed to white from Negro in order to blend in with the invaders. This way invaders in that,area,didn't know who to kill.

So,obviously invading in Ireland was red heads and white skin.

Sweden, yellow hair and white skin.

So we instantly did that.

Then because of information they would continue to invade that area, we kept them the aliens color.

So all of us except the negros are the color of aliens.

But the Zulululu kills and invades the body with their souls. So now African color folks have alien as well as every other color..

And that is why I'm fed the fuck up.

Im killing every fucking alien i don't agree with.. We did 12 years of intensive studies. In 1994 we jailed ass holes like Trump and more. And this is the end result.

THIS IS THE APOCALYPSE..

Y'all Jesus been here 35 years.. And i want to kill myself. This Earth. I just wanna blow it up and start all over. But I'm stubborn.

And I'm PISSED the fuck off.

And i have a child willing to risk her life until age 16.

Like the damdesr Princess in the world.

So every one will get the land they are owed.

African Americans. Remember VIKINGS.. Our babies, our brothers and sisters our elderly had their land stolen.

People in Africa. The Middle East.

I had to tear down a dam wall in the middle of Germany.

Okay?

I'm here and i hate it.

[survivorathena-allstars]

Episode #10: “Can You Hear My Eyes Rolling Cause They Are” ~ Owen

I LIVED!!!! Which is good, I'm so glad to be on the side with numbers, that was a good blindside, I'm trying not to feel too bad for Emily since she WROTE MY NAME DOWN. also i wonder who the other vote for me was, i bet it was Cameron so he can play both sides. *EYES* I'm so happy to still be here time to win this challenge! ________________________________________________________________ Also I don't get why Lily is so salty she tried to BLINDSIDE ME

i didn't switch to lily because im mostly a dumbass. also i didn't want her to be bitter but five minutes later that decision turned out to mean nothing. emily voted ruthie with me, i'm not sure who the third vote was??? could they please stand up im tired of living in the dark. i think lily voted for me (also i love getting votes in my last three tribals it's the only thing that makes me feel relevant). anyways what matters is that i'm here, but i don't know how much longer i'll last at this rate. to be fair i was honest with these ppl about who i was voting for so like...but it's also like if i had better connections i would've known but oh well!! new round new me am i right haha :,)

If you think I cried a lot in Themyscira, you should see me now. I'm a pro at this point

LILY'S GONE LILY'S NOT ON JURY CHARLOTTE IS ON JURY I M W I N N I N 

Ok I know I'm not supposed to be here and "the tribe has spoken" but hold up. Did Lildemort really just quit? Sis put all that Coco Montrese-level work in round after round to get me out JUST to quit when the going got tough? And now CHARLOTTE is getting whisked away to fill the jury spot?

I can't even. Yes the evil is defeated and good for Charlotte BUT BITCH. Are... are y'all saying... that this is protocol? So like if anything else goes haywire or someone else quits, IM GOING INTO JURY??? I suddenly don't remember unstanning Athena and my PTSD from these seasons is in check again. Athena jury is my true calling and if this is All-Stars and y'all want the most lit jury.... please please please let me fuck it up. I know I know nothing's official and yes this is Charlotte's moment but like

Ya know you could always do a twistos twist. We don't have to do the same thing twice, someone else quitting and a prejuror coming back. Athena trailblazes and I have been a stellar guinea pig my whole life. Ok so placement! We could be poetic: since I got blindsided 5-2 again, I could be Juror #3 again. OR we could wait a bit and I walk in like 5th or 6th, give my enemies a chance to get there ya know and then I wreak havoc. OR we can be super messy, put me in last, and then everyone will be on the floor deceased. I'm very open minded and down to negotiate. Aaaaalll I'm saying is: if y'all want the drama and the ratings, you know who to call

Whew it's taking a whole lot out of me to put effort into my social game. Like I'm really drained. Like so incredibly drained. Talking to these people really hurts honestly. It really does. And for some reason, I'm the least upset with Will and Cameron. Cameron specifically, I'm fine with quite honestly. He was the only one that had the courage to message me last night and... it just made me feel better. No one else messaged me. Ali did but I think it was because Cameron messaged him telling him to message me. I feel most betrayed by Ali honestly mkdsmfkacsd I'm really trying to decide my next course of action

Emily telling me she's the least mad at me and Cameron after the Lily vote is incredible, seeing as we were two of the people pushing the hardest for her to go. Remember that social game everyone said I didn't have in Azores? Here it is now, because I have Emily, Owen, Zach, and Ruthie all spilling tea and taking the fall for me while the rest of the alliance takes the heat. If anything, my ass is safe for at least one more round because Dana put a huge target on herself - not saying that I would EVER want Dana to go, because I feel like we can protect her if she's the target. There are whispers that Duncan's gonna be the next target for his flip-flopping behavior, and Emily might even want to target Owen next. If we let Emily think she has some power after last night, we could steer her right into getting idoled out which would be evil but also incredible. If Owen/Dana/Ali are her public enemies number 1, 2, and 3 right now then... that's perfect for me. A path is opening up towards the end for me, and I really, really love it. Some people don't learn from their mistakes, but it's 2018 and this year is about growth and personal development - I know why I lost Azores, and now I can see how I can win All Stars. ________________________________________________________________ I'm starting to get worried though because I'm realizing I don't think I can beat Cameron in a F3...and I don't like the thought of having to vote him out and I don't think I could beat him in a F4 tiebreaker either...So the next few tribals need to look like this: F11/F10 boot is Duncan/Owen, F9 boot is Emily, F8-F6 is some combination of Ashvika/Ruthie/Zach, then F5 boot is Cameron and F4 would be unanimously Kevin. Like I said, we can let Emily dictate the F11/F10 targets and I think she'd go for those two first, then we can let her think it's one of us going and play an idol to take her out at F9 (and Cameron/myself wouldn't get the heat). Then we have a clear majority at F8 of our 4 plus really...any of the others who wanna keep going. Then at F6, any idols will have to be played so I just need to make sure I don't become a robbed legend. And then F5 will either be 4-1 or 3-2 and Cameron has to go - and I hate hate HATE that but I'm so worried about me being safe at F4 hinging on winning final immunity. But we'll see I guess. If I'm gonna go to the F3 with my alliance, it needs to be with Ali and Dana - because people think they're erratic and floaters. This is how it's gonna have to be though and I can see a path to the end...but it's not an easy path and people are gonna be Mad with a big fat capital M.

OH HOHO, SO DUNCAN WANTS ME OUT HUH? Well honey, I've got some news for you. One, I have an idol. Two, I have friends in high places. And three? You are not so powerful. I am loved and I am winning this game, and taking the days played record right from your hands. I love you, but you are not taking me down today. 

Whew I've been a roller coaster of emotions for the past twenty four hours and I've finally calmed down and I feel a lot more woke now. Here are some comments on everyone still in the game. ALI: Ali is a hard one because both Duncan and I feel very betrayed by him. Ali didn't fill Duncan in on the Lily vote, it was someone else that told Duncan. And I thought Duncan and Ali were like spearheading the Duncan vote. And I also told Owen about Ali's idol, but I'll get to that part. I don't think I trust Ali anymore unless he can prove to me otherwise. I've been having a very difficult time talking to him because I do feel incredibly betrayed. What I don't understand is why he thought that I had an idol or Lily had an idol? I didn't. I think he knew that. I told him so many times I just wanted to be informed of what was happening, and I thought a good, trustworthy ally of mine would tell me the truth. But he didn't. Not until 10:00. Which I think is very cowardly. I'm playing with a flock of cowards. ASHVIKA: Honestly I'm really pissed she's in such an... untouchable position? In my eyes, she's been super inactive? Maybe that's wrong, but I've not talked to her much at all. I believe she's in an untouchable position because of her allies. She's got Will, Dana, Zach, Duncan... like people on all sides? And that makes me mad? She's going to make it far and it makes me upset. DANA: Queen of unknowingly telling me that Lily was going last night <3 LOL Dana didn't know that I didn't know Lily was leaving and was straight up with me so that's real cute. I know she's close with Zach and has talked about wanting to work with Zach and I but I don't even know where Zach and I stand... I'll comment on that later in Zach's portion of this confession. I also feel like Dana is in a good position and it's >:( PUT ME IN UR POSITIONS U FUCKS DUNCAN: Duncan I thought was a lot more in on the vote than he actually was, which makes me feel bad about exposing his idol to Owen, but I was just SO MAD!!! I think Duncan is feeling the same way about Ali as I am. He's really hurt that Ali would like... go behind the backs of his close allies like this? And, honestly? It's not smart either? We are the only ones (to my knowledge) that know about Ali's idol? Like? Why would Ali do something like this lmao it's just stupid quite honestly. I'm going to have to figure out what to do moving forward but... I trust Duncan and Ali a whole lot. KEVIN: Tbh king of voting in the minority. I really don't have many feelings on Kevin but I honestly feel bad and I'm really confused why he was left out of the vote last round??? Like omg??? Poor Kevin I feel bad. King of being my secret santa. Cameron: After all of this has happened, I trust Cameron the most. I feel like he is being the most genuine with me and the most sincere about wanting to work with me. I think he's going to be someone I want to work with long term. I'm trying to be as adaptable as possible. And I think Cameron will help me out? Maybe? I just don't want to die this round holy fuck. I trust Cameron a good amount and I'm willing to do whatever he wants me to do this round to keep myself alive. And if this is my last round, it's my last round. I still have lots of friends in the game that'd I'd be happy winning. I'm just really concerned idk OUP AND I'VE JUST BEEN INFORMED BY DUNCAN WHO WAS INFORMED BY ALI THAT Cameron TOLD ALI HE HAS AN IDOL!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK OWEN: Okay. Owen's,,,,, been found the heck out. HE HAS BEEN FOUND THE HECK OUT. Like, y'all. Owen is playing me so hard. And I HAVE BEEN AWARE OF IT TOO. I'VE SEEN IT HAPPENING. AND I'M LIKE. OH THAT'S SKETCHY. HAVE I DONE ANYTHING ABOUT IT? NO! Owen told me he was campaigning hard for Kevin to go and from what I was told by Cameron, Owen was actually campaigning for Lily to go, but saying he didn't want to actually vote for Lily because he wanted to stay in my good graces! And he did the same thing with the Madison vote but voting for Jack and not picking a fucking side! Oh god. I felt so alone last night and when Owen called me, I just let it out. I exposed some tea I probably shouldn't have. But I think I know how I can deal with it? I don't know. I think Duncan is a very likely target this round. If he doesn't use his hideout, he needs to use his idol. Like. He's very likely to go home. And we can idol out a big person if we use it. Whether it's Will, Dana, Ashvika, or Ali I don't care. I want one of them gone. And I think we can do it. I think we need to keep Owen out of that plan though? I don't know what's going to go on. I want Owen gone but I know Duncan doesn't so like... this is going to be a big mess lol RUTHIE: God who the fuck knows honestly. I don't. WILL: I like Will but he's got his own little... posse. And they scare me. Him, Cameron, Ashvika, Dana, Zach, and Ali. And probably Owen, honestly. They fucking......... I won't let them run this game no sir-ee! I don't know how to fix it but fksdfjasd. Also I thought he had an idol but no, Cameron has that. So. Anyways I don't have much to say about Will. I'm fine with him. Don't want him to vote me out. ZACH: I love Zach so so so much and he's a great person but like I have no clue where we stand in the game anymore. Actually i just messaged him a long thing and I think we're all okay. Also I'm gonna submit his and all of my Zach talk is just gonna be the same uWu I love zach so much stuff so like I'm just gonna send it y'all know I love zach already no need to say it again bye

I AM SO PROUD OF WILL!! Now to figure out what to do.  I really don't want Emily to go and it's simply because she's just too gosh darn likable.  I'm going to try to figure something out with Cameron and Will though and right now they are my saviors, I'll do whatever they want to do but I also really don't want Owen or Zach to leave either. 

Honestly I don't know what to think. I feel bad because I partially betrayed Emily by knowing Lily was leaving but lying, or failing to tell! Wooh love omission! But I think i've talked with her and i'm sure it's not super fixed but it's a little better. I now have an alliance with Duncan and Ashvika, then my pal Dana. How loyal am I? Well... not a lot. I don't want them to release this information and then by default, i'm the one being voted out because of "betrayal" or whatnot. But i'm not sure who i'd love to see. I guess my ideal people are Kevin, and a little Ruthie/Ali. I like everyone genuinely and i'm upset by Lily's reaction and just overall execution, but I feel like it was a fine move and despite it not being mine, I think Cameron came off as very aggressive and negative and that's going to bite him in the ass I think. But I made jury so HALLELUJAH!! 3/3 in Jury! And also - it's day 100 for me!! AHH!!!

In reference to last round? "That vote was messy so I’m going to follow suit. It’s open season on everyone’s asses and I’m pissed off and ready to shoot" Thats how i felt after i read what happened and everyone almost omitted me from the vote. According to Will i was left out because i mentioned to emily earlier on in the day that people were throwing lily's name out there. Also i told people i wanted to do lily next round, so people thought i was not going to budge on it and did not bother telling me the vote. What disappointed me though was Ali not coming through and telling me. He really let me down and because of that he's pushed me away. I told him we're fine and that im not mad any more. I mean its true, I'm not mad anymore, IM PISSED!!! So if he can't trust me i can't trust him. I made a finals deal with Ashvika tonight, and told her about ali's idol and Cameron's idol. If loose lips are gonna sink ships i don't want to be aboard the ship, i want to be behind the canon gunning it down. Who says there aren't any pirates on survivor? lol But anyways ashvika and i also made a foursome alliance with zach and dana since we feel like they're a tight duo who are dependable. I really so like the group as people and they're people i've never played with before which makes it even more exciting! Do i want to go to the end with them? Absolutely not! but its a cute group to get through the next couple rounds. I do intend on going to the end with ashvika though. the only person thats been 100 with me the whole game. I do believe she's with me but i need to make sure my other bonds are strong because im not giving anyone the power to obliterate my game. i've learned and I'm finished making mistakes 

I always align with men and I hate myself

________________________________________________________________ This FINALLY uploaded. It's from the morning after we merged.

Hi moms I don't know how i'm voting tonight, which tbh, shouldn't be a shocker to yall. I'm a mess, but I haven't heard my name. Tbh send me on vacation to visit my girl Charlotte. But ideally i'd like to be 4th-5th juror because then i'll be more informed about the game so like let me meme around a little bit longer. Also this is my mood for today On 1/11/18, at 12:16 PM, Dana Barry wrote: > the girl im talking to: what are you up to today? > me: not being stressed out by tribal council in an org

This is really just my mood (see below) for this round because it's so clear Emily's trying to scramble by not really scrambling and if one of my alliance gets idoled out tonight i'm setting fire to the rain. Sorry that the game isn't going your way queen! I'm the Sarah Lacina and Brad Culpepper to your Sandra, Aubry, and Cirie and this is Game Changers xoxo Emily, 2:21 PM im not used to not knowing whats going on in a game afjsfkjasdklfas

Okay so I made a video confession and I’ll upload soon but... I’m excited about my new position in the game. I’m bouncing back, I think? I’ve been able to reestablish my relationships with Cameron, Will, Zach, and Ali and I am working on building on with Dana. I’m trying to get on the good side of Cameron & Co.™️ And I think it’s going well? Ali is talking to me and is very uneasy about Duncan. Rightfully so because Duncan is mad at Ali. I also am playing off the exposing-Ali-and-Duncan’s-idols-to-Owen thing off like Duncan was the one that could possibly leak it to Owen, since they’re close. And I think Ali believes it. Unless he already knows I told Owen and like? Idk. But Ali has also told me that he feels weird about Duncan because I am the one that he screwed over, and yet Duncan is the one upset. I’m not upset anymore and I’m moving on. Duncan is not happy. I am just sitting back, spreading subtle information, and getting people to target each other while I cuddle with my cats from afar. I’ve told Will and Cameron both that I am just here to take orders at this point. I don’t want to get in the way of anything. And I have opinions, I just want let them out until someone says them for me first. I’m trying to be agreeable, valuable, and calm this round. OTT Emily is no more. CP Emily is back, okay? She’s here to stay!!! I’m calm. I’m cool. I’m collected. I can do this.

I told people what I'm thinking today, which means pasta la vista 2 me. Idk i'm not even trying to lie to people but honestly i'm one of those people who is like so manipulative that sometimes I lie to myself and then get confused about what the truth is so wiggy. Does that happen to other people? I'm getting more crackedt by the minute. Who knows how i'm voting. I just want to vote Emily because she's being a problem and messy quen who sent my pms to everyone in the game to exploit me 4 being dumb and gullible. A funky strategy, like exploit me all u want but u probably arent winnin. Also weirdly Duncan thinks votes tonight are going to be on Emily anyway, so like now I can maybe make that happen. I'm a sneaky weasel with the power of a 50% functional brain behind me, aka a WINNER. Earlier today tho I was voting out Duncan though so blegh and also nobody wants to talk to me, which is good leave me alone. I just dont feel like getting voted out yet, sort of, and the other part of me is like bye world i could use some time in solitary confinement. Is that a mood for everyone or just me? I just sent the tribe chat a picture of Owen as a goat idk i like to laugh. This is a rant and she doesn't make sense can someone get jesus to talk to me because she is ignoring my pms too. Also I just signed out of skype so I can calm down and give myself a break from being as upsetting. Ok i'm going to stop writing now gn. 

https://youtu.be/5PdXIHGvMpk me talking 2 ppl pretending it's cool they left me in the dark anyways i love getting votes 3 tribals in a row. and APPARENTLY according to Cameron i might be receiving votes tonight. exciting! if you're gonna vote for me do it right and take me out you cowards all you're doing is making my skin break out. the alternate options are all from atalaia: ruthie and emily!!! whew!!

https://tmblrsurvivorextra.tumblr.com/post/169591129951

“Okay I did eenie meenie minie moe and it landed on ruthie so that’s how I’ll be voting” 

I made myself laugh with that one. If they ain’t going to make a decision, you decide for them

I truly am channeling my inner Eliza Orlins by being targeted so often. Whew! So turns out Cameron's a snake because Duncan gave me the receipts (well not any receipts actually but I'm trusting his word). APPARENTLY Cameron only told me Emily as a fake target because he was intending to vote for me. Snakes are gonna snake snake snake snake snake. Duncan and others are telling me Ruthie. Im supposed to believe that the tide is turning towards Ruthie but people here have a habit of spewing lies. Duncan just told me to act clueless and stuff or whatever if people approach me about the vote. I don't need to try to act clueless, because I don't know shit!

You would think that, being immune, I would feel safe, comfortable, happy. No I feel none of the above and I want to scream. I love Cameron but for some reason he won't take a breath and do the easy vote like dude...It doesn't need to be another big blindside or another big move. I'm worried that he's getting a little too confident and feels like he's the one in charge of the alliance, which is not cute at all. I don't want to be mad at him but I'm definitely frustrated, annoyed. My patience? She's being tested. I feel like I need to take a backseat on this one and just let whatever happens happen, because I'm in a good enough place with people that I can pick up the pieces if something horrible happens tonight. Cameron's hardcore overplaying and it's not a good look for him or our alliance if things start to get messy though.

I’m putting a lot of blind trust into Cameron but he’s the only one lending me enough rope to hold on to. I’m so nervous but I’m trying to stay sane this vote. I was expecting my name to come up tonight, but I wasn’t expecting it to come from Duncan, which is who I’ve been told brought my name up. I’m not playing a winner’s game right now. I’m so nervous and I don’t know how to fix it.

I love Owen sending me this big paragraph at merge, then telling Duncan I should go from the start of merge and saying how easily playable I am. I love Duncan who I trusted and told _everything_ targetting me for truly no reason, when I actually did attempt to clue him in on the vote. He just wasn't online. He is channelling his bitterness at not being in the loop at me, which is totally unfair. I love Emily who I thought I could trust telling everything about my idol to Owen. I went to her so many times trying to stress how much I valued her. I was the first person to clue her into the vote, I'm just sad. Obviously its just on a game level and I'll find it in my hort to forgive them, but Im so betrayed. So betrayed

I mean like is it really that bad to want to make a vote go 3-3-3-2? Is that really that ugly?

HECK OFF DUNCAN LITERALLY. I JUST WANT HIM TO CHOKE. it looks like we might vote Kevin? maybe? or split the vote? idk? this is? awful? help? please?

Why are Duncan and Owen blowing spoke at me with the efficiency of a chimney? I know Owen wants me to spill info to him and Duncan wants me out so what's up sjsjdkdkd God its so refreshing knowing that everyone is trying to play me hard

Will won immunity, I knew I wasnt gonna have the time to win this one so that's okay it does make me a bit worried but I dont think that like...it was necessarily beneficial to win it again so soon.

The main thing I'm grapplin with is that information spreads like fire! Emily tells me Ali and Duncan have idols, and that Duncan has a power that can remove him from the game for a round too. Huge yikes. So instantly that's on my mind. I knew Cameron knows about Ali's. I feel like maybe I've typed this before... But either way today I got on call with Will and basically gave him all of this information. And I've been forming a plan to get Duncan to dump an idol, if I tell him that I've been hearing his name! But Will suggested we just leak that Duncan might go to Ashvika.... Which gets messy for me bc if Duncan hears from Ashvika and not me, he won't trust me anymore. but then like...if I tell him I'm hearing his name and then.....nobody votes for him? he'll know why. BUT THEN ALSO LOL Cameron MESSAGES WILL ABOUT DUNCAN'S IDOL AND SUGGESTS DOING SOMETHING TO GET RID OF IT WHILE I'M STILL ON CALL WITH WILL. God this stresses me OUT. If Duncan doesn't waste his idol though it isn't the end of the world, because I do have a possibility of working with him. I just don't want him to idol Kevin. Speaking of, as soon as this round started I knew I wanted Kevin out. That breaks a connection that Duncan and potentially Cameron have, and gives me another round to get closer with Ali, Ruthie, Emily maybe. The call of four seemed good with Kevin, so does Emily, and I told Ruthie about it. Duncan is once again targeting Ruthie instead of Kevin so that's another thing to deal with. GOD. So rn it'll prob be like 8-3 or 4-7 or something but idk..... I want to believe Dana/Will/Cameron won't turn on me, but I can't tell myself I won't turn on them eventually idk. I have been talking to Ali and I think maybe I can sit at the end with him and Ruthie that would be SO GOOD lol. Or with Duncan maybe at the end. But Will, Dana, and Cameron are big risks. I just don't want to fuck them over....ugh. They're prob gonna wanna take me out. This is me 24/7. But I still love all of them rn too. Wow this game is F U N. Idk what I'm gonna do in general or tonight or with Duncan but I'm sure it'll be fun at some point.

I'm so confused by Duncan. I called him at the swap and told him EVERYTHING. I poured my heart and soul out to him. I said I trusted him all the way and I meant it. Now when he doesn't get clued in on a vote (which is his fault for not messaging me back) he is throwing the baby out with the bath water and just wants me out? Like he said this big thing about how it "hurt him when his number one left him out" which I didn't do, but that's so hypocritical when he now wants me out. I'm trying to not be too like too bitter because I love Duncan but come on.

Why aren’t there manipulatable straight boys in this game. This is unfair. Who am I supposed to flirt with and get them to take me to the end???? What the fuck

can u hear my eyes rolling cause they are

aliI'm about to be idoled out may I rest in peace

[1/11/18, 9:35:17 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): if I tell u to change the vote last minute do you PROMISE not to tell ANYONE [1/11/18, 9:35:24 PM] Emily: yes [1/11/18, 9:35:33 PM] Emily: give me enough time to make my parchment [1/11/18, 9:35:43 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): How much time is that? 5? ten? [1/11/18, 9:35:46 PM] Emily: please don’t have me throw my vote tho [1/11/18, 9:35:49 PM] Emily: ten? [1/11/18, 9:35:53 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): Ok cool [1/11/18, 9:35:58 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): i won’t have you throw your vote I just [1/11/18, 9:36:05 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): I don’t want someone to find out [1/11/18, 9:36:06 PM] Emily: okay [1/11/18, 9:36:11 PM] Emily: I won’t my lips are sealed [1/11/18, 9:36:20 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): this is me sneakily trying to keep u in the loop [1/11/18, 9:38:25 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): Some ppl just don’t trust you and I want u to know I trust you but idk if its changing yet [1/11/18, 9:38:42 PM] Emily: will this show them im trustworthy? [1/11/18, 9:38:46 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): i think so [1/11/18, 9:38:50 PM] Emily: okay [1/11/18, 9:39:07 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): I love you just pls dont tell ANYONE [1/11/18, 9:39:15 PM] Emily: im not telling anyone [1/11/18, 9:47:21 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): You PROMISE you vote how I say [1/11/18, 9:47:27 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): and you don’t tell ANYONE [1/11/18, 9:47:31 PM] Emily: yes [1/11/18, 9:47:42 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): my allies don’t want me to tell u bc they think you’ll tell owen so its imperitive you don’t okay [1/11/18, 9:47:50 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): im putting my life on the line with you [1/11/18, 9:47:51 PM] Emily: okay [1/11/18, 9:47:56 PM] Emily: i won’t Cameron [1/11/18, 9:48:13 PM] Emily: am i voting owen? [1/11/18, 9:48:29 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): no [1/11/18, 9:48:30 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): You’re not [1/11/18, 9:48:45 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): You’re voting for duncan unless you want to keep it on Kevin in case duncan plays his idol [1/11/18, 9:48:47 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): its up to you [1/11/18, 9:49:23 PM] Emily: okay ill vote duncan [1/11/18, 9:49:42 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): okay just PLEASE don’t tell anyone I told you to vote duncan [1/11/18, 9:49:47 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): IM BEGGING [1/11/18, 9:49:51 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): IT WILL GET ME MRUDERED HBEFJNDMS [1/11/18, 9:50:25 PM] Emily: i voted [1/11/18, 9:50:38 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): pls dont fuck me over emiyl [1/11/18, 9:50:45 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): This is me proving that I trust you and I want to work with you [1/11/18, 9:50:56 PM] Emily: am i supposed to pretend i dont know after the vote is over? [1/11/18, 9:52:27 PM] Emily: thank you so much for clueing me in Cameron i really appreciate it [1/11/18, 9:52:49 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): I love you [1/11/18, 9:52:59 PM] Emily: i love you too [1/11/18, 9:53:40 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Series Admin): And yes pls pretend This is my reasoning for voting for Duncan. I'm doing what it's taking to keep me in the game. I'm putting my trust in Cameron and I'm not sure if I'm making the smartest decision or not, but I'm doing it.

This was way too chaotic and shows that our four is way less stable than I thought we were. Like this could have been so easy but no everyone had to fREAK THE FUCK OUT like I'm so sorry and I'm so gonna regret saying this in a confessional but I legitimately don't care if Cameron Ali Dana whoever think they're the target of an idol. It does not matter who the target is. We needed to put a vote on Kevin if we were gonna bring Zach in but there was too much fucking chaos in our mess of a 4 person alliance to understand that. Nobody listens to me and it's clear now, especially Cameron. He thinks he's running this game but he's running himself into the ground. I'm sorry but it's just too much.

If Duncan stands with an idol i'm self-evicting into the sun. 

Duncan becomes the 10th person voted out of Athena All Stars, and the 2nd member of our jury. You can see Duncan’s preseason interview here.

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, week forty-three

11.1.1997 11.3.2007 11.4.2017 still doin’ this, still not sure why

11.1.1997

19) "I Don't Want to Wait," by Paula Cole

whoever did the drums for this song, y'all did some work. thanks for that. um, i don't know. i guess i never would have realized that this song was about how paula cole's grandparents were too stressed or too afflicted with PTSD to appreciate their lives and their blessings so she's gonna seize the moment, given that i associated this song with a teen soap opera i never watched, but i'm not sure it really engages with those people on a substantive level. "yeah, my granddad had shellshock, and that taught me i should carpe a whole bunch of diems before i, too, experience a horrible event from which i can't come back." is that, help him! talk to him!

26) "My Body," by LSG

"Gotta call you up and let you know just what I'm feelin', baby/911 0 0 24/Baby, it's an emergency, I'm callin' 'cause I gotta have some more." *ring* *ring* *ring* 911. What's your emergency? OPERATOR I'M HORNY 12415 Hyperion Street? YES! The Whambambulance is on its way. I just realized that's a pager code and I should probably make fun of the sexy pager codes, but I just came up with Whambambulance so this stays.

29) "Feel So Good," by Mase

Hm. There's an interesting juxtaposition at the heart of this song: you see, Mase is a bad boy. You know this, as he is affiliated with the Bad Boy record label; they are not in the business of hiring good boys there, I'd imagine. But despite his inherent badness, he is still capable of engendering good feelings in the young women with whom he "hangs" (popular late-'90s slang for 'copulates'). This thematic complexity is the thing we have come to expect from Mase, and he has delivered unto us yet another intellectual treat.

56) "Phenomenon," by LL Cool J

"I was looking at her in the limelight, pearly whites" LL Cool J I sincerely doubt you go to the club to scope out nice smiles. Come on. "Behind every playa is a true playette" I never would have realized the word 'playa' needed a feminine form. I don't see why this needed to be a gendered term, but then again, I'm looking at this with 2017 eyes, where we're all just people who enjoy fucking to various degrees and we kinda stopped caring about gender. They probably did need a female form of 'playa' in 1997. "You beefin, yellin on the cell of my 6/You reach it, then you hear the cordless click" THIS IS A BOAST ABOUT A CORDLESS PHONE

66) "I Do," by Lisa Loeb

I listened to this song yesterday and then I got distracted because there was some hot LttP rando tourney tie-break action and some listen to and read other things and now it's the day after and I'm pretty sure this song was OK but I'm extremely sure I got everything out of the first listen. It's a fun female singer/songwriter jam about love or whatever that wasn't completely shallow but also wasn't really captivating. It was. It existed. It was a song I listened to and thenI moved on with my life.

69) "So Good," by Davina ft./Raekwon

This was dope! Because this capsule is being written immediately after I listened to the song, one would think I have more to say, what with it being fresh in my mind. Hey: guess what: it was good! It was low-key and had a nice clip and it pleased me! It pleased me greatly. I am not making fun of this song even though it's basically the same thing as "So Good" because I'll take something that sounds like Lauryn Hill over something that sounds like Mase.

72) "Dream," by Forest for the Trees

"I wanna make a hip-hop song!" "I wanna make an alternative rock song!" "I wanna engage in psychadelia!" "I wanna play the bagpipes!" "Fellas, fellas, fellas! No reason we can't ALL get out way!" And that was the episode of Forest for the Trees when they learned how they could avoid conflict by seeking out compromises.

75) "I'm Not a Player," by Big Punisher

For some reason, on the album Capital Punishment, "Still Not a Player" comes well before "I'm Not a Player." This seems like a grievous error in sequencing. Like, someone should have done something about that, unless Big Pun was way ahead of the curve on the whole "this album should be played with the track listing reversed." "Still Not a Player" even references the hook for "I'm Not a Player." Missed opportunity for a killer reprise. I would also like to note that there is an Intermission in track four of a nineteen-track album. He makes for a fun listen, but Big Pun was absolutely garbage at actually making an album.

11.3.2007

68) "Shadowplay," The Killers

The Killers named themselves after a fictional band in a Joy Division music video. In the video for "Mr. Brightside," The Killers also have a fictional band playing; the kick drum bears the insignia for The Genius Sex Poets. The top YouTube result for The Genius Sex Poets is a band from Denmark that makes somewhat sloppy mopecore rock, they tried their best and I'm not here to make fun of the little guy but also wish I hadn't spent four minutes with them, but the enh makes sense. Joy Division's fake band had a dope name. It was brisk, to the point, and let you know what that fake band was about. I'm surprised that no band had taken the name The Killers before The Killers, or even before whatever Joy Division video I'm not gonna watch because I don't care enough. The Genius Sex Poets is the name of your college's worst a capella group. It's a bad name for a band, and that The Killers wanted to influence as they have been influenced by giving their fake band that name is why I never could get into them. They wanted their legacy to be a band called The Genius Sex Poets. What a trash thing to want.

94) "Love Like This," Natasha Bedingfield ft./Sean Kingston

"We were cool back in high school/Ooh, I really liked you!" Earlier this year, we praised Mariah Carey's "I Don't" because it was a song in which a 40-year-old Mariah Carey had a 28-year-old YG rap about how hot he thought Mariah was. It's a lovely subversion of the Hollywood thing where John Legend and Ariana Grande sing a love duet for a Disney film and people don't see anything wrong or squicky about it. The age gap here isn't quite so drastic, Natasha Bedingfield is 26 and Sean Kingston is 17, but still, this is as close to progress as anyone who isn't Mariah has ever made. The people DO demand a film where Channing Tatum goes down on Meryl Streep, though. I think we're due.

96) "The Hand Clap," Hurricane Chris ft./Big Poppa

this is literally just an over-produced song where hurricane chris only says he wants people to clap their hands. like that's it. that's all there is to this song. just hurricane chris listing reasons you should clap your hands. "Well, I hope you ain't tired of clappin' yo hands/'Cause we just got in the club." Does. Does Hurricane Chris expect me to clap my hands the entire time in the club? 'Cuz I'd do it, but it'd be quite silly. Picture me in the club constantly clapping my hands. Bangin' beats, slammin' honeys, and me just fucking there getting my seal on. "Drop that beat/Turn it up/That's too loud, man!/Turn it down/Now turn it back up" FUCK'S SAKE CHRISTOPHER MAKE UP YOUR MIND DON'T CONFUSE THE DJ THE DJ CLEARLY HAS ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT

100) "Just Fine," Mary J. Blige

That Mary J. Blige isn't in Decade Dance is the harshest referendum I can offer on music in 2017

11.4.2017

82) "High End," by Chris Brown ft./Future & Young Thug

nope!

84) "Yours," by Russell Dickerson

oh so he’s country. goddamnit. and it's even the fake-deep ballad bullshit country. this is the song that plays during the first dance at your aunt's third wedding, but it was her first church wedding, the first time they eloped in vegas and the second time, well, you know, uncle jim was never one for crowds, so this her first chance to really have HER day, you know? she hasn't had HER day yet, and you know what, she's 46, she deserves her own day. it'll be a cash bar and you'll spend every second worrying the hot person from the groom's side of the family is technically your cousin now.

87) "Let You Down," by NF

from the cursory research i've done, there appears to be actual emotion behind this song, this isn't just sadness as a substitute for substance there's a backbone to it, so i'm not gonna giveit too much heck. i'm whelmed, but it'd also feel like an insult to say "i didn't like it," because it sounds like a song that wasn't made to get people to listen to nf, it was a song that was made because nf had shit to say, and i respect that.

95) "Stunting AIn't Nuthin," by Gucci Mane ft./Slim Jxmmi & Young Dolph

The AZLyrics page for this song contains five instances of [?] in Gucci Mane's verse. Even the people who like Gucci Mane enough to post his lyrics to the Internet know the lyrical content of a Gucci Mane song isn't worth listening to hard enough to figure out. I paid extra close attention. The blanks are as follows: Don't leave it to BEAVER, just leave it to me (this line is actually borderline clever) I'm at MAD CHRIS' every day of the week (this is a guess, but there's gotta be an ATL strip club named Mad Chris) A FOOL WITH THE CHEWIN' SHE'S chewin' the D (can't say I like it when people bite my dick but to each their own) THAT SOB got me weak in the knees (ok i can't figure this one out, Gucci Mane is trash) Give her THE TROPHY for throat of the week (her parents will put it on the mantle next to her diploma and the participation award from sixth grade gymnastics)

96) "Your Broke Up With Me," by Walker Hayes

MY DUDE. MY. DUDE. YOU. CAN. ABSOLUTELY NEVER. PUT WHISTLING IN YOUR SONG. IF YOU CAN'T WHISTLE. What is this trash? Why are you breathing into the microphone like that? Is this, what, did you accidentally mix your ASMR with your country song and were too lazy to fix the track? I hate this. That whistling sounds so bad. How are people buying this song? This is the most baffling thing I've ever heard.

97) "Mayores," by Becky G ft./Bad Bunny

oh good. a song where a 20-year-old says "i like them older." ...where did i fall on hey violet's "guys my age?" i think i was okay with it then, but man, you think about it now, and you think about this song, and you think about that paula deanda song where she sang "I may be a teen but that doesn't mean I can't party," and man, it's gross. i don't like that this happened.

98) "Ask Me How I Know," by Garth Brooks

barth grooks

Who won the week?

Well, somehow, the white Christian rapper took 2017 Song of the Week honors, so that’s already out. And in a battle between Mary J. Blige and a host of songs that ranged from Neat to Neat!, I’m gonna go with 1997 here.

Current standings: 1997: 17 2007: 12 2017: 14 1997 seems to be building an unassailable lead with the clock running down on a year that ends with 7, though if we’re being real, the last two weeks have been really week. Next week, though, we get a clash of the titans. 1997 enters “Kiss the Rain.” 2007 enters “Low.” 2017 is throwing a ton of Future + Young Thug spaghetti with a side of Tay Tay at the wall. Who will win? ...”Kiss the Rain”’ll prolly take it, like be real it’s “Kiss the Rain,” but we’ll see if 2007 has enough for an upset! (It doesn’t, 1997 has win 18.)