phongxonghoikho4

[getscaredhellyeah]

everyone’s least favorite mod is annoying 💜

[worldlxvlys]

ANNA. GIRL. I HAVE THE BEST IDEA EVER.

ok, so I was just listening to one of the girls by the Weeknd and I need the filthiest, most pantie soaking, mouth watering, sheet gripping smut about chris based off that song. only if you want though LMAO. also probably really unpopular opinion but chris is most DEFINITELY the dominant one during sex. anyway love you pretty girl!!

one of the girls

fwb! chris sturniolo x reader

warnings: smuttttt, semi-public sex, roughhhh sex, choking, slapping, spitting, degradation, dumbification, p in v, cream pie, unprotected sex, squirting, fingering, overstimulation, humiliation, recording, cursing

a/n: have your holy water on standby y’all

lock me up and throw away the key

he knows how to get the best of me

chris and i’s friendship was anything but normal. to some, it may even be perceived as toxic.

but me? i loved it.

i trusted him enough to do whatever he wanted to me, no matter how extreme.

tell nobody i control you

i broke you just to own you

they can’t tell that i love you

‘cause you’re loyal, baby

he was possessive, but it was hot. we weren’t actually together, but by the way he acted when other guys approached me, you would think we were.

he didn’t want to see me with anyone other than him, and i felt the exact same.

nobody else made me feel the way he did, anyway.

nobody else understood how to test my limits without going overboard.

i love when you’re submissive

love it when i break skin

you feel pain without flinching

i allow him to do whatever he wants to, and in return he he gives me a perfect mix of pleasure and pain.

he constantly pushes me to my limits, it’s almost gratifying to know that i can handle more than i think.

though my masochistic ways can be alarming to some, chris understands. he never judges or questions the things that bring me pleasure.

all it takes is a simple, “i need a distraction” and he has me pushed up against the door, his hand wrapped around my neck.

his fingers wrap around my throat, constricting my airway enough to stop my breathing.

he waits until i look like i’m about to pass out to loosen his grip.

we don’t gotta be in love, no

i don’t gotta be the one, no

i just wanna be one of your girls tonight

it doesn’t matter who he fucked yesterday, or who he’s seeing tomorrow. all that matters is right now.

and right now, we’re at a party, where he has me bent over a chair on the host’s back porch.

“you forget who the fuck you belong to? letting him undress you with his eyes like that?” he struck my ass with the palm of his hand over and over, making me cry out.

“how do you think he’d feel knowing that i’m fucking you on his porch?” he asked as he thrusted into me roughly, pushing my hips into the wooden chair harshly with every movement.

i moaned uncontrollably, gripping onto the chair for dear life as he pounded into me.

deciding to play with him, i looked back at him and spoke, “bet he could fuck me better than you ever will”

we both knew it wasn’t true, but chris stopped his movements immediately, making me whine out.

“think we should go find him? let him watch me fuck your brains out?” he asked as he pulled me to stand up.

“no, chris! please, just-” he cut me off by smacking my ass.

suddenly, he spotted a camera that was aimed at a short table in the middle of the porch.

“hmm, looks like he keeps his home secure, baby. you think he gets alerts when there’s movement on his porch?” chris raised his eyebrows at me, pushing me to the table that the camera was aimed at.

“he’s gonna watch this back and see you get fucked like the dirty little cockwhore you are" he rasped into my ear as he placed me onto the low table on my hands and knees.

he held my arms behind my back as he began to fuck me from behind again.

a cool breeze filled the air, making my nipples hard and sending a shiver down my spine.

he gripped my jaw harshly, turning my face to look at him, “open” he spoke.

when i opened my mouth, he gathered his saliva in his mouth before spitting into mine.

i immediately swallowed, making him slap my cheek lightly.

“now look at the camera” he said as he gripped my jaw, angling it so i was looking straight into the camera.

he pushed my body down, holding my shoulder down as his cock continued to stretch out my tight walls.

“you better make a fucking mess all over this table, make sure he knows how good i made you feel” his mouth found its way to my neck, biting at the skin roughly.

“f-fuck, chris” i moaned as his fingers brushed my hard nipples, before squeezing them firmly.

he suddenly grabbed my throat with his hand, pulling me closer to him.

my eyes rolled into the back of my head at the feeling of his hand squeezing around my throat.

he circled my clit with his free hand, and my head fell back onto his shoulder in response.

“such a fucking slut, you love being fucked out here in the open, huh?”

“good, good, so fucking good, holy shit” all i could do was chant those words, not being able to concentrate on chris’s words.

“look at you, going dumb for my cock” he spoke as he continued to fuck his hips into mine.

i mumbled a string of incoherent curses in response, grabbing his bicep as i felt my orgasm approaching.

“you gonna cum?” he asked as he felt me clench around him.

“yes, yes, yes, yes” i chanted as my eyes rolled back and i released on his cock.

“fuck, gonna fill this pretty pussy up” he groaned before he did exactly that, shooting his seed deep inside of my walls.

he pulled out, quickly replacing his dick with two fingers.

“chris!” i moaned in surprise as he fucked his fingers into me.

“wanna see you squirt all over this fucking table” he growled into my ear.

his fingers moved so quickly inside of me, i could barely keep up.

i reached down to move his hand, but he wasn’t having it.

he pushed me forward, pressing my face into the table.

“it feel good? you like being fingered out here where anyone could see?” he asked as he added another finger.

“yes, yes, oh my god” i cried out as i felt another orgasm coming.

“yeah? then fucking take it” he said.

“chris! i’m cumming!” i yelled as my body shook violently on the table.

“oh my god” i yelled as my juices shot out of me.

“i know you have more, ma. give it to me”

he continued to move his fingers inside of me, watching as the liquid continued to pour out of me, making me scream.

“fuck” i breathed out when his fingers stopped , allowing me to catch my breath.

chris helped me off of the table, helping me to fix my dress so i was covered again before fixing himself up.

he left for a second, coming back with paper towels to clean up our mess.

“hey, you good to get home by yourself? i got something to do” he said, looking down at his phone.

more like someone to do.

“yeah, go. have fun”

with that, he kissed my cheek and left.

we don’t gotta be in love, no

i don’t gotta be the one, no

i just wanna be one of your girls tonight

💋💋💋💋

masterlist

tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @ciarasturn1 @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @sturniolololover @meg-sturniolo @mattsnymphette @leah-loves-lilies @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07

[bakugoushotwife]

kinktober day twenty-two: cunnilingus

>>> idk why i’m only here for yandere rough megumi sjdkfkffkg i mean he isn’t all the way yandere but it’s strongly implied, y’all enjoy!

>>> starring: megumi fushiguro x curvy!f!reader >>> cw: yandere-ish behavior, cunnilingus (f receiving) clearly, doggy, overstimulation, prone bone kinda, creampie, jealous megumi. >>> wc: 2.5k >>> event masterlist.

it really was his favorite place to be. being between your legs, face buried in your warm, wet and sweet-tasting cunt was so soothing and fulfilling to him he simply could not get enough. he wondered if he had an oral fixation specifically because of your pussy, almost concerned with how much he loves being on his knees wherever whenever just to get a taste of you. at the beginning of your relationship, megumi was a bit…nervous around you. it wasn’t like his mind wasn’t coursing with lewd thoughts about his pretty little curvy angelic goddess of a girlfriend, he just didn’t know how to tell you he craved your cunt on his face like normal men crave water. so yes, he had to come out of his sexual shell so to speak. but it seems this god forsaken get together at gojo’s was going to ease him out of it—and your cunt wouldn’t be his sweet release, it would be his sloppy playtoy by the end of the night.

not to say that megumi wasn’t pleasing you enough already, though, of course. he may be a bit routine about things, but he always took care of you. did you want him to be a little rougher from time to time? sure, but you’ve never been with someone so eager and passionate about eating you out either. that alone was worth his perhaps lack in kinkiness.

though your boyfriend has a bunch of his own ideas including a host of naughty things he wants to do to you as well as the ones spurring from his crippling jealousy. he’s not even quite sure where it comes from, gojo gave him everything he needed out of life and he never felt jealous of other kids growing up despite his unconventional upbringing. but when it came to you, he felt something sinister tug at him. maybe it was because you are so otherworldly beautiful that he can’t help but be on standby, waiting for someone to make a shitty comment about your body or stealing you away. maybe it’s because he knows he’s not doing enough to earn the pleasure of calling you his. but no one else could do any better than him, he knows that for sure.

so why is yuuta trying? he knows full well who you belong to—gojo’s famed favorite former pupil has you pulled aside, which doesn’t go unnoticed by your protective and sensitive boyfriend. it’s been years since you all had gojo-sensei’s class, but megumi still hated that yuuta okkotsu. his dad favored him as his successor over him, and even yuji took to him pretty quickly. those were reasons enough to hold a forever grudge, but watching the older man hold all your attention was driving him to murderous thoughts. having all the former sorcerers in one spot wasn’t a good idea—especially not when megumi had acquired an absolute babe in the time apart from his now young adult friends.

especially not when yuuta had you leaned against the wall, nervously chuckling to whatever he was saying, eyes darting around to look for your boyfriend. megumi was frozen in place, trying to settle the argument between the devil and angel on each shoulder. he could just approach yuuta and explain reasonably that you’re spoken for, and that he should keep it moving. but on the other hand, he thinks he should punch yuuta in the face because everyone knows you’re spoken for and that he’s your man. then he should drag you upstairs and fuck you sore and screaming until every person in attendance was uncomfortable. he can see you get increasingly anxious, so he makes the decision.

“c’mon okkotsu. you know that’s my girl.” you hear the ice drip from his tone. he’s not playing any games, and that’s clear by his unamused scowl and the way he folds his arms over his chest. you’re relieved to see him, smiling softly at the man you’ve always known to be your stoic and calm boyfriend. but the look in his eyes as he slides them over to look at you sends a shiver down your spine. yuuta chuckles nervously, blaming the alcohol and your cute dress for his lack of sense.

megumi growls at that, rearing his hand back to start a real problem. this was practically his house, he didn’t care about any potential repercussions—but your voice comes over him to invoke reason.

“hey hey, point made. he’s gone.” you know it’s true based off the shuffling of yuji and toge getting off the couch to ensure that yuuta and megumi are separated before it can come to blows. you lean into his chest, but his gaze only follows the group of boys as they shift upstairs.

his arms fall around your waist, and he wonders if he actually even heard what you said or if your voice alone was enough to make him hesitate. the rest of the party guests still watch the scene—wondering if it gets better or worse from here. some of them had experienced megumi’s temper before, some knew it was a horrific mix of nurture and nature, both his father and the man who raised him horrifically jealous beasts of nature. and the apple doesn’t fall far.

“go upstairs. find a room.” he snarls, daring anyone in attendance to speak up against him. your cheeks flush at his command. he’s only ever spoken to you with a gentle tone, with patience and understanding and all the warmth a man like himself can convey. but you’ve yearned for this other side—this gruffness in his voice and the unwavering dominance in his eyes. he doesn’t care that everyone’s watching—in fact, he wants them to. you nod eagerly, turning tail to find an unoccupied spare room in gojo’s giant house.

he only loiters behind long enough to let everyone watch you obey him—the prettiest woman in the universe, who could easily have anyone she ever wanted, caters to his every whim and order. he lags behind you just a bit, but you can feel his presence. it’s dark. he’s always been a distant, more guarded man. because of that, he’s always been regarded as cold. but his light never felt daunting until now. he never felt oppressive or controlling or possessive; you don’t have to look over your shoulder to know he’s close. it makes heat lick up your stomach walls and bubble down your legs as you wobble towards a room at the end of the hall that was sure to be vacant. you knock to be sure anyway, but megumi reaches around your waist to open the door anyway. his other hand grips your hip, pushing your forward with the pressure of his pelvis against your ass.

you gasp and stumble into the darkness, giggling a little in excitement as you find the bed. megumi’s fingers find the light switch, and you turn to look at his anger riddled features, something only jealousy could produce.

“yuuta okkotsu, huh?” he asks, pulling his shirt over his head. it messes up the spiky tendrils of his hair, but you don’t notice over the crazed look in his eyes. he’s pale and lean, dips along his slender abdomen indicating the strength hiding beneath. he fiddles with his belt next. “you have a voice. why didn’t you tell him to back off?”

you flush with embarrassment, anxiety rippling at your core to mix with the burning excitement. “i—i was try—“

“i—i” megumi mocked, licking his teeth. he walked closer to you, taking over that tiny little sundress you wore that was no doubt the only layer keeping him or anyone else away from your drooling cunt. it aggravates him. you look this beautiful out in public all the time—and it really didn’t matter if you were in this slutty dress or a goddamn burlap sack, anyone with eyes in their head could tell that you were an angel among mortal men. “you’re too nice for your own good. you almost got his ass kicked because you don’t know how to speak up for yourself.”

you bite your lip, nodding along to his scolding. you know you should apologize to him, but you can’t deny how much it turns you on to see him so angry. especially when he approaches you, pushing your sitting form in to a laying one so he could yank you by the hips to the bottom of the bed. he flips your sundress up, snarling again when he finds you bare—and soaking fucking wet.

“oh i see. you’re cute enough to parade around like this but can’t tell other boys you have a man?” he spits on your pussy, sliding it around your hood and lips with his middle and ring fingers. “i’ll help you find your voice.”

he shoves your thighs apart and keeps them like that, rolling his eyes as you squirm and writhe. it’s only in excitement, though. your hands find his hair to prove it as he dives toward your cunt, lapping at you eagerly. he can’t help but moan at your taste—no matter how many tried only he got to experience this moment, the way you look with his mouth suckling on your clit; brows draw up in ecstasy, lip already swollen and puffy from your teeth repeatedly gnawing into it. he couldn’t help but be obsessed with you, anyone would be—it was clear that pretty much everyone was.

but you remind him of your love when you clutch your thighs around his face, tugging his hair so hard he has no choice but to bury his face deeper, sucking and biting on your clit so roughly you whimper—big hands that always stay cool to the touch paw at the meat of your thighs to let you know just how much he enjoys being one that pleasures you. he needs to hear you scream his name—needs you to let everyone know who it is that’s got you seeing stars and arching off the mattress.

“meg—gonna cum, oh sh—“ your stomach burns, and you lurch and crumple to try to relieve it, but megumi holds you down. he grunts to egg you on, demanding your orgasm to come quicker as he nibbles on the very source of your pleasure, sending colorful orbs flashing across your vision as you wail his name. you’re getting there, but he knows you can get louder.

“don’t hold back now, do better.” he seems agitated as he hooks his arms around your thighs—pulling your cunt to his face without any means of escape. he slides his tongue back in your hole, intense jaded emerald eyes watching your contorted face of deliriousness. you were brainless already, chants of ‘megumi—megumi—megu—meg-megumi!’ roll past your lips as he slides his tongue along your entire slit, nose bumping against your swollen and oversensitive clit so hard he almost feels bad for all his old classmates and friends listening to your guttural cries. almost.

you’re weightless, suspended in space—floating in a river of unending bliss. it’s too much. you’re finally getting what you’ve always asked for and you can’t handle it—and his pants are still on. the only things tying you to the planet are: the feeling of his soft hair clenched tight in between your fingers, the tears stinging at the corners of your eyes from the sheer pressure of his mouth milking your pussy, and his delicious grunts of demand. you can’t deny him, and your hips clearly beg for more as they hump his face to push you towards your second edge in just a few minutes.

he hopes yuuta and all those other motherfuckers that have ever thought about toeing the line get the fucking message—you’re certainly being loud and clear. your vision darkens completely, mouth dropped in a permanent yell of his name. it’s perfect, and megumi lacks the patience to be gentle, for once. he shoves you back, lips glistening with your slick, cheeks red from his hard work and eyes flickering with a cold flame so hot your whole body burns for him.

he shrugs, shoving his pants down and tugging at the hand of his solid black briefs next. “face down, ass up.” you bite your lip in anticipation, rolling to your stomach in the pretty arch he requested. he nods at your obedience, getting up on the bed with you. his cool touch finds your hips at the same time his fat cockhead finds your entrance—and he’s pulling you down on him mercilessly. “don’t you dare quiet yourself. i want them to hear everything.”

his growl affects you almoat as much as his rough strokes, curved pale length stabbing through to your cervix without any breaks in between. megumi cursed under his breath, pulling your arms behind your back to ensure that you struggled to obey him. it was cute watching you turn your face in the covers so he—and everyone else—could hear your animalistic cries. he pins your wrists in one massive trap of his own hand, his other still leveraging a hold on your hip to keep you from escaping his brutal ruts.

it’s no wonder he’s a jealous fucking freak over you at all. your pussy was magical, soaking wet and beaten into the shape of him and him alone—you gripped him like his own personal mold. he couldn’t stomach anyone even thinking about having you in the way he has you right now. it messes with him that he can’t stop that—but maybe your gorgeous curses of his name will be enough to ward off such worries for a while. he fills you so perfectly you could never think about another man anyway—even if he was only soft and gentle and tender with you, a far cry from what he is right now, you’d never stray. but especially with this performance, with your brain jolting around in your head and nothing but fire and ice flooding your senses—you can only scream out your love for him just like he wants.

“that’s what i’m talking about. scream and cum, babe.” he encouraged, letting your hands go so he could yank on your hair. he tugs hard, and it sends electricity shooting down your spine. his voice is so raspy and needy as his cock twitches inside your walls—as unforgiving and tight as they were since you were fluttering close to your release. “i said cum.”

you gasp out, feeling him pinch your clit again, the final push you needed as you reach out for the headboard. he keeps you from crawling away by knocking you flat to the bed, hand sprawled across your back to make you take it. you’re a goner, only able to feel the ridges of his cock abusing your worn hole—scraping against the entrance to your womb from this angle. his speed dies down and warmth floods your cunt, making a dumb little smile spread across your face. he rolls his hips into your ass slower, riding out your high. he’s panting, running a hand through his sweaty hair before he leans over to kiss you. he’s still needy, eagerly finding your mouth and kissing you with a beautiful mix of passion and aggression.

it sinks in then just how rough he’s been with you, and his eyes flash with regret. his lips move to form an apology—but a knock on the door cuts him off.

“hey junior—you done? everyone’s traumatized. great work.” gojo snickers—clearly proud of his boy.

[legendtraineremily]

Day 2 of My Pokémon Yellow Nuzlocke Challenge!

So, yesterday was interesting. Not altogether different from past play-throughs but that’s how it goes for the first bit of Generation 1 Pokémon games. The trouble is when you get to Brock and his Rock-type gym. Granted, his Pokémon are…not great. They don’t have any Rock-type moves in this generation, relying instead on Tackle and Bide which are both normal-type moves. The difficulty is in their Rock/Ground typing which makes Pikachu almost useless and their own defenses which make most attacks you lob at them bounce off almost harmlessly.

Oh. And Onix has Bind in Yellow version. Remember what I said in the post for yesterday about how trapping moves would basically end your own actions? Yeah, that’s a potential 5 turns of nothing but pain with no chance at retaliation.

Over-leveling will be the name of today as well as hoping for a Nidoran that can learn Double Kick, which is super effective against Rock-types. Enough talk, let’s do this!

Where was I? Oh, right. Getting through Viridian Forest and training my lower-leveled newbies. Side note, I’ve been a fan of using wild Metapod for easy EXP since I first played Pokémon back 20 years ago in Crystal version. (Wild Metapod don’t keep Tackle in their moveset for…reasons, I guess.) LeafGreen was a breeze as well with that trick.

Okay, out of the forest, healed up in Pewter city, and now it’s off to test my Route 2 luck. Please be a Nidoran; male or female, doesn’t matter, they all work for me. (Shoutout to my Bi and Pan friends! Hi friends!)

Success! I was worried about getting another Rattata, but Nidoran(Female) appeared for me. That is a great relief for the gym but not for my time—I’ll have to train her up quite a bit to get Double Kick.

Route 2 Encounter—Nidoran ♀/Lily

Lv. 4

Hp: 17

Attack: 9

Defense: 9

Speed: 9

Special: 9

At least we can hope little Lily will survive the gym. She can be pretty useful in the rest of the early game if we play it right.

🎶A-grinding we will go, a-grinding we will go…🎶 These poor Metapod are getting wiped out by one of their own. Dark thought, if it weren’t for the fact that canonically the Pokémon just get knocked out. We’re just beating them up and taking their money (EXP).

I gotta take a break. Might hit up the museum. “Hey guys, can I get that Aerodactyl early? That’d be nice.” In reality I’m also enjoying some hometown festivities and homemade baked goods. Y’all ever tried strawberry-rhubarb pie? My wife makes an amazing pie—everyone who tries it loves it, I’m not even joking!

More grinding. More fallen foes. More MtnDew Spark. How’re y’all doing? Drinking water? You should go drink some water. I have a bottle on standby when I’m done with my soda. With all the crazy weather (thanks radical climate change), dry spells can spell doom to your hydration levels. So make sure you’re drinking your water!

All right, I’m about leveled up enough to try the gym. Watch out Brock-y! I’m coming to win.

Pre-Gym lineup:

Pikachu/Zippy- Lv.13

Nidoran♀/Lily- Lv.12

Butterfree/Stinky- Lv.11

Pidgey/BIRBY- Lv.11

Rattata/Remy- Lv.5

Here’s the plan: Hit Geodude with Stinky’s Confusion attack since his Special isn’t really high. Next, we’ll be switching around to keep from being ripped to shreds by Onix’s Screech and Tackle combos. That double drop to defense is no good for anyone. Bide won’t be an issue as I just won’t use damaging moves for the duration. The big problem will be Bind stalling me out; however, if I need to, I can use Remy as healing fodder to allow myself to heal up either Zippy or Lily and finish the battle off on a high note. Now to see if this all works.

Welp, Geodude went down as expected but in an effort to switch out of a Bind, I Double Kick-ed into a Bide. Now, Bide gets stronger the more a Pokémon has been hit during its charge-up so I can hope I get off a critical hit Double Kick and end Onix or end up using poor Remy as cannon fodder. Neither option is preferable. I’ll risk it—wait. Wait, the Bide went off before I could switch and didn’t end Lily. And she Crits for the final hit! Woo! You go little girlie! One badge down, seven more to go.

And so we come to Route 3 leading to Mt. Moon. I can’t use TM’s so I’ll sell off the TM for Bide I just got (why Brock? It’s such a junk move! Rock Tomb from Gen III was the right choice for the remakes). Now I’ll grab some more Pokéballs and a couple Escape Ropes just in case and head out to beat some other trainers and get to the Mt. Moon Pokémon Center.

Hey, did I mention before that Sand-Attack really annoys me? Well I’ll say it again just in case: Sand-Attack really frickin’ annoys me. At least I have a chance to level up Remy a bit more. Your potential, eventual sacrifice will be well worth it buddy, don’t worry!

Another fun fact that I almost had the displeasure of experiencing while beating up the trainers on Route 3 is that in Gen 1 games, Poison is super-effective against Bug. So if Stinky hadn’t wrecked the Weedle with one Confusion, the little bugger’s Poison Sting would’ve really ruined my day.

There are…so many trainers on Route 3. Like they keep popping up on my screen like the wonderful EXP harvests they are. They would be taking much longer but because my Pokémon were apparently built faster, I’m landing Critical Hits all over!

It’s also getting late where I’m at so I may just call it a night and sign off. See y’all and love ya’! -Emily

[zachsreaderinserts]

sapnap, dream, tommy, and c! techno x s/o who cried while arguing headcannons

FIRST REQUEST OOGA BOOGA OOGA BOOGA 

also im about to hit 100 followers! thank y’all sm!!!

edit: so uh, i didnt know tommy didn’t like to be written in romantic x readers, that was on me 100% so i changed it to platonic!!

wc: 1,285

SAPNAP

as we all know, sapnap is a little bitch when he’s arguing with someone, compiled with lots of yelling, screaming, and probably physical gestures.

so, it was no surprise that when you had brought up the fact that he had been neglecting his chores around your house, that he retaliated almost instantly

“i’ve been sitting in the office the last few days working! i don’t know what you want from me!”

somehow, with you being you and sapnap being sapnap, the argument escalates really fucking fast

to the point where his voice is starting to get hoarse and you’re pretty much shaking in retaliation, regretting ever bringing up the entire argument

sapnap’s too blinded by his anger to realize that you were not fine and were backing yourself into the dining room table in attempt to seperate yourself from the situation

and when he turned to glare at you and continue his point, he paused when he saw the tears building up in your eyes and the fearful look you had

he dropped the argument almost instantly and darted over to you, holding you by the shoulders. you couldn’t even form any words, just blubbering as he squeezed you close

you apologized for crying, but he didn’t want to hear shit. he felt guilty for letting the argument escalate like that and the both of you said sorry for the entire situation as a whole.

at the end of the day, you still love each other, y’know?

DREAM

dream’s biggest problem when arguing is that he can’t truly decipher what is an insult and what is a light jab to his ego.

it was during a stream that you had made a joke, something about dream resembling his smp! rendition of his character and that irked dream automatically

after the stream, he came into your room and addressed it, but anyone could see how quietly pissed off he was. and already, you were angry because he was angry

so, you bit back. told him that you were sorry about how he felt and how you pressed his buttons, but not sorry for making the joke. it wasn’t meant to be taken the way he did and that was his fault for stewing over it

mans is angry

so, a shouting match starts up, naturally and it gets heated real fucking quick

“you don’t get to decide whether or not i should blow over a joke!”

(wanted to say that in this argument, you’re both valid, but the way you went about it is not)

it gets to the point where dream’s all up in your face, shouting about how annoying it is for you to be making jokes like that and how he found it unfunny and shit.

which isn’t a bad criticism but also, with how he’s yelling it to your face, it hits a little different but not in a good way. you’re practically swallowing back the tears as he keeps ranting about it.

and when he pauses to let you argue back and speak and you respond with a voice crack that gave away how you truly felt. dream looked back over at you to see you wiping at your eyes, trying to push the emotions back

the vibes shift into something calmer, still heated, but not as bad as it was. he walked back to you and hugged you, letting you let all the emotion out.

from then on, you two talked about it quietly and respectfully, making sure to keep the intense emotions on standby.

and hey! you’re still holding his hand by the end of it.

TOMMY

this fucking rat of a man has a hard time trying to keep his emotions on standby and not go ape shit. knowing tommy, it’s probably a longstanding problem that’s been around his entire life

so, you’re pissed at him first for him blowing up your house on the smp. i mean, i can’t blame you, i’d be just as pissed. that house had been around since the beginning and it held everything you worked for on the server

tommy found it dumb that you had such an angry reaction and began to argue back that it truly didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things and that you were being out of pocket

“c’mon, you know that i didn’t mean for it to hurt you like this and this isn’t a reaction you should be having.”

he keeps mostly level headed the entire argument, but you can tell by how he’s gritting his teeth and how his eyebrows are furrowed that he’s getting annoyed

and then he raises his voice, the coil keeping his frustration snapping along with it. you’re shocked to say the least and start to feel invalidated for him reacting the way he is. while his frustration is all anger, yours is more sad.

tommy stops his harsh tone when he notices the sorrowful look on your face and reels back, taking control of himself. he says that you two need a moment to recollect so you can discuss this again at a later time

despite the argument still lingering hours later, tommy is just as kind as he was before it, making sure to let you know that he still appreciates you no matter what the situation was

and whenever you did discuss it again, tommy and you made a little system to let him know whenever he took it too far. he felt better knowing that you were no longer upset with him and you feel better knowing that he was willing to try and understand you.

C! TECHNOBLADE

techno is fucking notorious for being an especially condescending little arsehole, it’s canon both in his character and irl

so, he takes on a more emotionless and rough approach at the sign of any sort of criticism. he’d rather you think of him as a bitch than let you see that he was any sort of empathetic.

it was when you got onto him for never sleeping that he showed this side of himself. you couldn’t even see it in his body language that he was upset and that made you angrier.

techno was pissed, 100%, but he wanted the upper hand. he refused to let you see him vulnerable.

“i don’t think it’s as big of a deal as you’re making it out to be. why can’t you just ignore it?”

he keeps drawing out the arguing, somehow countering your very valid points to about how disorganized or lazy you were. rather than accepting the criticism, he forced it onto you.

and with every point he spoke, you felt your heart hurt just a little more. he was nitpicking at that point and that hurt more than anything else. he knew you felt insecure about certain things and you just couldn’t see why he wasn’t showing the proper emotions in this argument

eventually your mind became so muddled that you were even aware that you were crying. techno immediately stopped talking and stared at you in slight shock. he made you cry.

the voices were quiet, not giving him instructions or advice. he was on his own.

techno marched forward and held your face, wiping away the tears as quickly as they fell. you just looked up at him, showing so much pain, that his expression broke instantly. he looked like he was about to cry at the sight of your crying

you guys never got back to the argument but it was clear that he was sorry for what he had done. every time he came to bed early proved that enough and on those nights, he held you just a little bit tighter.

[heauxplesslydevoted]

Then & Now Ch. 3

A/N: I have very mixed feelings about this particular installment, but fuck it, it's getting posted. Enjoy!

Catch up here

~v~

“Penny for your thoughts, Missus Ramsey?” Ethan asks, dropping a kiss onto Naomi’s head.

Naomi smiles at the use of her new last name. She’ll never get tired of hearing it.

She looks around their empty bedroom with a sigh. They only thing they managed to successfully unpack was their mattress, and her husband didn’t even let her assemble the bed frame before he decided to christen the apartment. “I’m thinking that our bedroom should be the first thing we unpack because tonight will be the only night this mattress is on the floor.” She laughs as Ethan rolls his eyes at her. “I’m thinking about Monday. I know I’m technically already a doctor, but my first day at Edenbrook will make things feel real.”

“Are you nervous?”

Nervous doesn’t even scratch the surface. “I’d be lying if I said no. This is the big leagues now, ya know. The start of the rest of my life. What if I mess up? Has anyone ever been fired on their first day?”

“You’re not going to mess up.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you are incredibly brilliant, and compassionate, and empathetic, and you kicked ass in medical school. Edenbrook picked you for a reason,” Ethan says, pulling at a strand of Naomi’s hair. “And if listing all of your amazing attributes doesn’t settle your nerves, just know you’ll have me with you every step of the way. And Tobias to a lesser extent.”

“I have my own hotshot attendings on standby. I’m sure that’ll make me popular with the other interns.”

Ethan shifts slightly so Naomi’s back is pressed against his chest. “I’m not going to give you any preferential treatment, and neither is Tobias. But you know you can talk to us if you need to. We’re your mentors for a reason. And if anyone gives you trouble because of your marital status, there will be absolute hell to pay.”

“I guess it won’t be all bad.” Naomi tilts her head up and smiles at Ethan. “I get to see you in attending mode, and I cannot wait. Double if you scold someone for me.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Everyone knows defending your wife’s honor is incredibly sexy.” Naomi turns around and hitches one of her legs over Ethan’s hip so she can straddle him. “In fact, I might not be able to contain myself. I’ll just have to pull you into the nearest on-call room.”

“Well I hope the hospital is ready for me.” Ethan flips them around again so he’s on top. “Because you and I are a package deal, and I am never going to stop singing your praises.”

“Where do you want me to put these boxes?”

The question brings Naomi out of her flashback and she turns to the voice that asked it, her friend Rafael. “Read the label on the box and place it in its designated area. If the box says kitchen, just put it in the kitchen, and so on.”

“You got it.”

She watches as her group of friends flit around her new space, moving boxes everywhere. The apartment is bigger than her New York space, that’s for sure. And it makes the apartment she used to share with Ethan look like a shoebox.

A hand absentmindedly flies to her chest, rubbing soft circles. Her chest aches at the thought of him, which has been happening a lot these days. He’s never far from her thoughts. Moving back to Boston has dredged up long buried memories, and she hasn’t figured out how to regulate her emotions and keep things under control. She curses her traitor subconscious for making her feel so off kilter.

This time it’s Sienna’s voice that cuts through. “Let’s unpack and clean this kitchen first. I’m itching to cook something.”

“What? No, I’m ordering take out, my treat,” Naomi says. “It’s the least I can do to thank y’all.”

“Nonsense, I’m cooking.” For a quick second, Naomi forgot just how stubborn her best friend is. She watches as Sienna walks into the kitchen and rips open a box Bryce just sat down. “We haven’t all been together in 3 years. Remember the good ole days when we’d have brunch, or baking parties?”

“I remember the Friendsgiving when Aurora almost burned down the apartment trying to make sweet potatoes,” Elijah teases.

“That was one time!”

“The fire department came,” Elijah adds with a grin. “Our stovetop was ruined. And the sprinklers went off as Naomi was taking the turkey out of the oven.”

The memory makes Naomi laugh. “My hair was ruined!. I spent so much time on my curl routine that day too.”

She remembers being incredibly dramatic and in near tears, calling Ethan to explain just how horribly the evening turned out. Less than an hour later, he arrived at the apartment, bags of Thai food in one hand, very expensive bottles of wine in the other.

A sour taste fills her mouth. Is every single memory of Boston tainted by her ex-husband? Can she have one moment of peace that doesn’t involve him? She hates to admit that he has so much power over her, but he does. Even though they’ve been divorced almost as long as they were married, he seemed to invade every crevice of her life.

The sour taste turns more acidic, anger coating her senses the longer she thinks about her ex. It’s been 3 weeks since she’s last seen him, since she helped him solve a case for his precious team, since he cut her down to Leland Bloom of all people. She can’t believe for even one second that she thought things could ever be okay between them.

Angrily shaking her head, Naomi attempts to rid herself of thoughts of Ethan. Starting today, she refuses to let Boston 2.0 revolve around him. This is a fresh start for her, he doesn’t get to take that away.

She clears her throat, getting her friends’ attention. She waits for them to all turn to her before speaking. “Okay, let’s hurry up and unpack this place because the sooner we do, the sooner I can host a party.”

A grin spreads across Bryce’s face, all of his pearly white teeth showing. “Now you’re speaking my language. Omi is back, ladies and gents!”

~v~

When Ethan strides into the diagnostics team office the next day, there are three sets of eyes trained on him. The energy is the room is tense and still, and that makes Ethan go on red alert. Is there something he’s missing?

“Good morning?” He greets, stepping past Isabelle, Harper and Tobias to make it to his desk. “It is a good morning, right?”

“I don’t know, is it?” Harper prods.

“I intend on having a good day,” Ethan replies. “What’s going on here?”

“We know it’s Naomi’s first day back,” Tobias says. “And considering the way you blew up when he was here for a consultation, we’re a little wary of your behavior now that she’s a full timer.”

Ethan sighs. A few weeks ago, he probably would’ve attempted to burn the hospital down rather willingly let his ex-wife join his team, but that was an older Ethan. After working alongside her on the Remington case, he can—begrudgingly—admit that it wasn’t so bad. If they can keep this amicable energy, things won’t be so insufferable.

He didn’t tell anyone about the interaction he shared with Naomi after they solved the case. It was a private moment between them, one that he didn’t feel the need to broadcast. But it was…nice. Hopefully he and Naomi can keep that momentum.

“There will be no blow up,” Ethan assures his team. “I’m a professional, and I will comport myself as such.” He pointedly ignores Tobias’s obnoxious snort. “I’m being serious.”

Tobias isn’t convinced. He’s known Ethan and Naomi the longest, and he can see right through them. “I’m sure you believe that, but I know you. And I know Naomi, and when the two of you are on opposing sides, shit gets haywire.”

Ethan huffs. As the leader of this team, them not having confidence in him is…annoying to say the least.

“Things will be fine. You know I care too much about this team and Naveen’s legacy to let anything—or anyone—deter me. I promise.”

“Ooh, did I miss a rousing pep talk?”

Naomi’s sarcastic tone fills the office, and everyone turns their attention to her. She’s standing at the door, a bright smile taking up most of her face.

“Not really,” Harper says with a shrug. “Welcome back to Edenbrook! Are you settling in okay?”

“Yeah, I’ve spent most of my morning familiarizing myself with my new caseload and talking to my residents. I’m ready for something exciting now.”

“Welcome back, Naomi,” Ethan says genuinely. Naomi barely responds to him, humming just loud enough to let him know she acknowledged his greeting, but she gives him nothing else. It’s cold, but Ethan doesn’t bring any more attention to it.

Naomi slides into an empty chair and claps her hand together. “So do we have a case?”

“We do.” Ethan reaches behind him and grabs a thick folder off of his desk. “We do. 36 year-old Caucasian female, Audrey Clark, currently 31 weeks pregnant with a high risk pregnancy, experiencing abdominal pain.”

“She’s pregnant,” Isabelle deadpans. “Isn’t abdominal pain par for the course?”

“Her OB/GYN did a full pelvic exam and didn’t find anything pregnancy related, but Mrs. Clark still complained of pain, so she was referred to us. I know it may seem trivial–”

“That’s not for us to decide,” Naomi says. “If you go into this case treating this patient like a joke, nothing is going to get accomplished.”

Ethan is slightly taken aback by the frostiness in Naomi’s voice. Where did that come from? “I’m not treating her like a joke. She’ll receive the best from us, no matter what.”

“What are her vitals?” Harper asks, side stepping any brewing tension. “Anything elevated that we should be worried about?”

“Slight fever and dehydration, but we’re giving her fluids,” Ethan answers. “Other than that, she’s fine. “Her blood and urine samples came back normal.”

“A fever indicates some sort of infection, right?”

“Possibly.”

“But there’s nothing else wrong with her?”

“Not that we’ve seen yet.”

“That just means that we haven’t looked hard enough.”

“Okay…” Ethan raises an eyebrow at Naomi. “What do you suggest we do?”

“We could do an exploratory laparotomy,” Naomi suggests. Ethan laughs. “What?”

“I’m not cutting into and digging around a pregnant woman’s abdomen without proper diagnosis. And I doubt her OB and a general surgeon would do the same.”

“The entire point is to explore the abdomen and figure out what’s wrong.”

“She’s pregnant, she’s dehydrated. We can check in on her in a few hours to see if her fever breaks, and go from there.”

“So we’re just doing nothing?” Naomi challenges.

“As opposed to jumping the gun? Yes.”

“I think that’s a mistake. I think we’d be wasting precious time.”

“Until you give me something concrete, or a new symptom arises, it’s my mistake to make.”

Naomi bites down on her lip to keep from arguing. It’s her first day here, she isn’t going to be a hothead, no matter how much she disagrees. “Fine. Where’s the patient’s room? I want to see her.”

~v~

Audrey Clark and her husband, Tim are an adorable couple. He’s a doting husband, watching over his wife like a hawk, catching every slight movement she makes.

“You might be more observant than I am, Mr. Clark,” Naomi says, watching as he adjusts his wife’s pillow.

“I just want her to be comfortable,” Tim says, his cheeks turning pink.

“She’s in good hands, then.”

“Have you guys figured anything else out?” Audrey asks.

“Not yet, but I did order another round of lab work just to see if anything has changed.“

Audrey nods. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, I’m just doing my job.”

“My OB and my primary care doctor both think I’m crazy,” Audrey says. “They won’t say it outright, but they think I’m being paranoid. Do you have kids, Doctor?”

“No.”

“Do you want kids?”

Three years ago, Naomi would’ve given an enthusiastic yes in a heartbeat. She really wanted to have kids, Ethan’s kids, and was ready to get pregnant at the drop of a dime. That was clearly nothing more than a pipe dream.

“I was married before, and I thought kids would be the next step,” Naomi replies. That was always the goal. Finish her residency and then try for a baby. “We had a plan and everything.”

“What happened?”

“Life happened. Now I’m divorced with no kids.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I like to believe that everything happened for a reason.”

“This is my fourth pregnancy, which I’m sure you already know,” Audrey says. “First my first pregnancy ended at 9 weeks. My second at 12. I made it to 24 weeks before having an emergency c-section. That baby was a boy. I’ve never made it this far into a pregnancy before, and yes, I am terrified but I swear I’m not paranoid. I know my body like no one else, I’ve lived in it for 36 years. My other doctors think I’m projecting due to my previous experiences, but I’m not. I don’t want to be here, I don’t want anything to go wrong, but I just can’t shake the instinct that something isn’t right. And you’re the first doctor who has not treated me like I need to visit the psych ward, so yes, you absolutely deserve my thanks.”

“Well, while you’re in my care, I’m going to try my absolute hardest to make sure we get to the bottom of this mystery.”

Naomi stays in the room with the expectant couple for a few more minutes before a nurse enters as well, a fresh set of lab results in her hand.

“Is there anything new?” Audrey asks.

Naomi schools her features, making sure to keep a neutral poker face. Audrey’s platelet count is low, but that could be due to the pregnancy. And white blood cell count is much lower than it should be, but she doesn’t want to say anything and scare her.

“A few of these numbers have changed, but I think I want to consult with my team before jumping the gun.”

When she gets back to the office, she isn’t met with the renewed sense of urgency and vigor that she was anticipating. The new lab results don’t do much to steer the team in a new direction.

“While some things have changed, these results still don’t indicate a diagnosis, nor do they make me believe Audrey needs exploratory surgery,” Ethan says.

“So what, are we supposed to wait until these numbers drop completely?”

“No, we wait for a symptom to arise that can’t be traced back to pregnancy.”

“I disagree. Acting like sitting sucks isn’t going to help her.”

“Why are you so hellbent on wheeling this woman into the OR?” Ethan asks. “I never took you for a scalpel jockey.”

“Why are you so hellbent on disagreeing with me?” Naomi shoots back. Leland’s words replay in her head, of him saying Ethan thought of her as nothing more than a drama seeker. “I bet if anyone else on the team was suggesting what I am, you’d at least hear them out.”

Ethan scoffs. “I'd be very careful about what you’re trying to insinuate, Rookie.”

“Don’t patronize me. And I won’t insinuate anything, I’ll say it directly. Because it is me making these suggestions, you’re being petty.”

“That is the furthest thing from the truth, and you know it! I have never treated you differently within the four walls of this hospital. You’re just being impulsive.”

“And you’re dragging your feet.”

“Why don’t we do another ultrasound?” Isabelle suggests, hoping to keep the peace.

“If you manage to see anything with all of her internal organs being in the wrong place due to the fetus, I’ll give you a million bucks, Isabelle.” Naomi turns on her heel and heads for the door.

“Where are you going?” Ethan asks.

“Somewhere you’re not.”

~v~

Two hours later, all hell breaks loose.

Ethan and Tobias are in the office together, silently working on separate corners of the room. The silence is almost comforting, and for the first time of the day, Ethan feels like his head isn’t going to explode.

“So, you and Naomi are completely awful at this professionalism thing,” Tobias says.

And just like that, Ethan’s headache intensifies.

“I haven’t done anything to her,” Ethan argues. “She’s been itching for the chance to argue with me all day.”

“I thought you said things were good between you two.”

Ethan thought things were good. Maybe it was just wishful thinking. Maybe he misinterpreted the entire moment. “I thought so. I guess I was wrong.”

The shrill sounds of their pagers go off, but before either of them can respond, Isabelle bursts through the glass doors and into the office.

“Audrey Clark went into septic shock,” Isabelle says, not bothering to catch her breath. Ethan and Tobias jump up, ready to run to their patient’s room, but Isabelle’s voice rings out again. “She’s not in her room.”

That stops Ethan in his tracks. “Where is she?”

Isabelle takes a deep breath before answering because she knows Ethan might combust. “Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Lahela took her to the OR. They’re going to do an exploratory laparotomy.”

Ethan’s out of the door mere seconds later. He races down the stairs, not bothering to wait for the elevators. He can hardly see straight, the speed in which he’s running making everyone pass him in a blur, and the annoyance at Naomi making his vision go red.

OR 2 is packed, young residents wanting to watch Bryce in action, and see Naomi, the prodigal doctor, return. Ethan snatches a mask, covering his face before pushing past a nurse to step into the room.

“Why the hell is my patient on the operating table?” Ethan yells.

The yelling doesn’t faze Bryce at all. He doesn’t even look up. “Dr. Ramsey, as lovely as it is to see you, I try not to run my OR like a boot camp. I prefer quiet.”

“Naomi, what on earth is going on?” Ethan asks.

Naomi’s eyes briefly flick upwards, making contact with the older man. “Audrey went into shock, her blood pressure dropped dangerously low, so I made the executive decision and got permission from her husband to do the procedure.”

“And you did this all without running a single thing by me?“

“I didn’t think I’d need permission from you to do whatever it takes to keep her and this baby alive. I did it your way, but monitoring and standing idle wasn’t producing any results and her condition was deteriorating.”

“I think I found something,” Bryce announces. “The patient has a mass on her liver, roughly 7 centimeters.” With a prodding finger, Bryce examines it further. “It’s an abscess.”

“Can you drain it?”

“Of course.”

Naomi nods. “Good, I’ll let you take it from here.”

She steps back from the operating table, allowing a nurse to take her place. She removes her PPE, disposing of it in a medical waste bucket. As soon as she does that, Ethan catches her by the elbow and all back drags her out of the operating room.

“Get your hands off of me!” Naomi orders, pushing Ethan away.

“I don’t give a fuck what Leland says, if you ever go over my head like that again, you’ll be off the team faster than you can blink!”

“All of the tests we are running, all the ultrasounds and scans were a waste of time. Had we done this procedure hours ago like I suggested, we would’ve caught the abscess earlier.”

“Surgery is always a last resort, you know that.”

“Yes but–”

“What if something had gone wrong in there? You and Lahela were just going in there blind. What if something happened to her baby?”

Naomi throws her hands up in exasperation. The movement draws the attention of a few doctors and nurses, who stop to watch the argument. “That’s the thing though! Nothing went wrong. We were there for minutes before we found the problem, so Bryce is going to fix it, and her OB/GYN and a neonatal surgeon were on standby. I read her chart, Ethan. I knew her history, I knew the risks, and I still think that was the best decision. And it was. Due to me, she will get to leave this hospital and enjoy the rest of her pregnancy because you were too scared to do anything else!”

“Scared?” Ethan scoffs. “Your hunch might’ve been right this time, but before she went into school, there was no concrete proof for me to do anything other than what I was doing. So let’s stop it with the know it all attitude. Your impulsive insubordination miraculously lucked out this time around and you know it.”

A gasp passes through her lips and Naomi flinches at the harshness of his tone. He wants to hit blow the belt? Fine. “You know what, Ethan? Screw you! Instead of dishing out insults, let’s stick to the facts.” She jabs a finger in the center of his chest. “If it weren’t for me, you’d be responsible for 3 deaths within the past month, and a wrongful death lawsuit. So you’re welcome, asshole.”

Ethan's nostrils flare at the accusation but before he can respond Naomi walks past him, aggressively shoulder checking him as she does so. "Naomi!" She pointedly ignores him and keeps walking. "Naomi!"

~v~

Tobias finds Naomi in a supply closet on the 7th floor a few minutes later. She’s on the floor, reading the back of a box of latex gloves.

“Get out,” Naomi says with a sniffle.

“I can’t do that.”

“Why? I’m pretty sure I’m not the first person you’ve seen crying in a supply closet.”

“True. But you are the first one that I consider a friend.” Tobias shuts the door behind him and sits down on the floor next to Naomi. “What’s going on?”

Naomi doesn’t say anything for a while, opting to stay silent and collect her thoughts. She feels so stupid for crying like this, because of Ethan.

“I didn’t think it’d be like this,” Naomi admits quietly. “I didn’t think coming back here would be this hard. I’ve been a prisoner to my memory, getting hit with unwanted flashbacks of Ethan, and then I have him accosting me like that outside of the OR like I’m some sort of misbehaving toddler.”

“Yes, I definitely agree that was inappropriate.”

“Thank you!”

“But I can see his side too,” Tobias concedes. “He was right when he said that nothing in Audrey’s lab work suggested we needed to do surgery.”

“It’s kind of hard to rely solely on scans when your patient’s organs aren’t in the right places.”

“Yes, but we were dealing with an incredibly high risk surgery.”

“Whose side are you on?” Naomi grumbles, angrily wiping away a tear. "I don't need you to come in to play devil's advocate on Ethan's behalf."

“I'm on the side of our patient. I’m merely pointing out that while you had your valid reasoning, so did E. He’s analytical, you’re empirical. If you guys could actually work together instead of parallel of each other, this team would be unstoppable.”

Naomi snorts with derision. “That would involve Ethan actually wanting me here, which he doesn’t.”

“What makes you say that?”

“When Leland offered me the job, he told me Ethan was against the idea,” Naomi admits. “Vehemently against it, so much so he called me the lesser Dr. Ramsey.”

“That can’t possibly be true,” Tobias says. Tobias knows better than anyone that Ethan would rather cut out his tongue than indulge in petty gossip…with Leland Bloom of all people. “You and Ethan may have issues within your personal life, but he knows better than anyone that you’re a great doctor. Is that why you came in earlier, guns blazing?”

“I didn’t come in–”

“You came in guns blazing,” Tobias insists. “You were cold to Ethan, you didn’t even speak to him this morning, you accused him of being biased against you. You called him an asshole a few minutes ago.”

“I guess I was a little defensive.” Naomi sighs as Tobias glares at her. “Okay, I was a lot defensive. I guess I just wanted to prove to him—and to myself—that I was worthy of being here, regardless of my personal relationship with him.”

“I’ll deny it if you ever repeat it, but you’re smarter than me and Ethan combined. If anyone deserves a seat at the table, it’s you. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.”

“When’d you get so smart and introspective?” Naomi asks teasingly.

“I’m like a fine wine, darlin’.” Tobias grins, showing off all of his perfectly white teeth. “I only get better with age.”

~v~

Much later in the evening, Leland Bloom makes his way to the top floor of the hospital, engrossed in his phone conversation. “What do you mean, the third quarter numbers are slipping? When I went to San Francisco last month, you told me everything was going great, was that a lie?…Well what went wrong?”

He’s so distracted that when he walks into his office, he doesn’t see Ethan in there as well, scrutinizing the books and magazines adorning his book case.

When he does notice the younger man, Leland gasps in shock. “Philip, I’m going to have to call you later.” He hangs up the phone.

“Am I interrupting an important call?” Ethan asks.

“Just checking in on some of my other business ventures,” Leland says smoothly. “Nothing too pressing.”

“You know, you’re here so much, I actually forgot you have so many other companies. So much other stuff you could be doing instead of being here.”

“Is there a reason for this visit, Dr. Ramsey?” Leland asks, taking a seat at this desk. “I’m sure there’s other stuff you could be doing as well, seeing as you got a new member of the team today.” He raises an eyebrow. “How is the former Missus doing? I heard the two of you got into quite the lover's quarrel this afternoon.”

Ethan merely shrugs. Leland gets a kick out of reminding him that Naomi is his ex, and he refuses to feed into it. “She and I have different work styles, but it’s nothing we can’t handle. We always handle it in the end. Naomi solved the case, our patient is recovering and on track to deliver a healthy baby.”

“Good. I knew Naomi would make a fine addition to the team.”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, Naomi joining the team. More specifically the fraudulent way she was coerced into joining.”

Leland pauses. Ethan watches for him to slip up and reveal a tell. “What are you implying?”

“Why did you lie to Naomi and tell her that I was against her joining the team?”

“I didn’t lie when I told her that. You threw a fit like a toddler when I brought her in to consult for the team, pouting at me and Naveen. You even threatened to quit. You…do remember doing that, right?”

“You told her that I called her the lesser Dr. Ramsey and that she craved attention,” Ethan adds. “Those words never left my mouth, nor were they ever implied.”

“Well maybe I simply inferred.”

“You pulled it out of thin air.” Ethan walks over to Leland’s desk and sits down across from him. “It’s no secret that you and I aren’t particularly fond of each other. And that’s fine by me. And while you weren’t around to see me and my ex together, I’m sure you’ve heard the stories and rumors.”

“True. Your reputation precedes you.”

“Let me make myself abundantly clear, Leland.” Ethan leans forward, looking Leland right in his beady eyes. “Under no circumstance will I ever allow Naomi to be used as a weapon or a tool for or against me. Nor will I allow anyone to think she is anything less than an excellent doctor. Our former romantic relationship has zero bearing on what type of doctor she is, nor will it ever dictate the way I run my team.”

“I don’t know what your endgame here is, but I can assure you that attempting to pit me against Naomi will never work out in your favor, so don’t try it again. Minding your own business is free, Bloom. But attempting to mind mine? That will cost you tenfold.”

Leland chuckles humorlessly. “Is that a threat?”

“It’s a promise,” Ethan says matter of factly. He stands again, this time walking over to Leland’s bar cart. Of course, he has top shelf alcohol in his office. “I put up with a lot of your nonsense, but not where she is concerned.”

“This is so sweet and noble on your part,” Leland coos. “Even after a divorce, you’re here to defend her honor. I can’t help but wonder if she would behave the same way if the tables were turned.”

“She would.”

Leland doesn’t respond, opting to take in the conversation. Sure, he’s annoyed at the audaciousness of the attending, but he’s shocked at how defensive Ethan is. Now he knows without a shadow of a doubt that Naomi is still his Achilles heel. And it’ll be exploited in due time.

Ethan snatches a bottle of tequila off Leland’s bar cart. “And I’m taking this. Have a nice night, Bloom.”

~v~

Naomi deftly steps over a pile of packing peanuts and avoids a discarded box en route to her kitchen. She should’ve taken Sienna’s advice and unpacked this room first because she for the life of her cannot find a glass and a bottle opener to save her life.

She managed to get through her first day back at Edenbrook and she deserves a glass of wine to celebrate surviving.

There’s a sharp knock at her front door, and Naomi stops her quest to search for glasses because she did order food. Before stopping at the door, she rummages through her purse, finding some cash to give the delivery person.

When she opens the door, the lady person she expected to see is her ex-husband. “Ethan? What are you doing here?”

“Hi,” Ethan greets. “Is this a good time?” He holds up the bottle of tequila he took from Leland’s office. “I come bearing gifts.”

Naomi eyes the bottle, warily. “Tequila was never your drink of choice.”

“No, but it is yours. Think of it as a peace offering.” Naomi makes zero effort to accept the bottle or let him inside. “Can I come in?”

“How did you get my address?”

Ethan’s cheek tinge pink at the question. “I…may have looked through your employee file. It doesn’t hurt that my complex is only a few blocks away.”

“So I get yelled at, you violate HR rules, and now show up at my apartment unannounced. What else do you have planned for me today, pushing me off my balcony?”

“I’m sorry for just showing up like this but I didn’t want to go into a new day with things unresolved between us,” Ethan says. “Can I come in? Please?”

After a few tense seconds, Naomi sighs and steps aside, letting Ethan enter the threshold to her apartment. She watches as he looks around, silently appraising her new space. She doesn’t really know how she feels about him being here, judging, questioning.

“Ethan, what are you doing here?” Naomi asks.

“I talked to Tobias, and he told me about an interesting conversation he had with you.” When Naomi doesn’t say anything, Ethan keeps talking. “He told me that Leland told you some things about me that might have influenced your decision to come back here.”

“Now I will be the first one to admit that when you came back a few weeks ago, I was not happy. No, I did not revel in the idea of working with you again. But under no circumstance did I ever imply that you weren’t a good doctor, especially to the likes of Leland Bloom. You are an excellent physician, and I want to apologize to you for ever thinking I thought anything less than that.”

“Why would he lie to me like that?”

“Leland and I do not like each other. He’s the complete antithesis of everything I stand for and everything I believe medicine should be about. When he bought the hospital last year, I was against it. I believe he’s too involved in how I run the team, and we occasionally exchange jabs at each other. But roping you in to get under my skin is a step too far and I told him as much.”

Naomi chuckles. “I can’t believe you of all people went to defend my honor. Against our boss.”

“No matter how we feel about each other and the end of our relationship doesn’t mean I want you to be manipulated by that man,” Ethan says simply. “I would never allow that to happen.”

The candor wasn’t something she expected from Ethan. None of this was, to be honest. She thought they would continue to let things stew and fester. “Well thank you, that’s very kind.”

“It’s nothing.”

“While we are airing things out, I guess I should apologize too,” Naomi says. “I was out of line, and ready to argue with you at the drop of a hat, and that’s not fair to you or the rest of the team.”

“We have different approaches to treatment, but we both want what’s best for our patients,” Ethan concedes. “Today won’t be the last time we disagree, but I promise to never let things get like that again.”

“Good because I’m not fond of being yelled at in front of the operating room.”

“And I don’t like being called an asshole “ Ethan shoots back with a raised eyebrow. Naomi averts her gaze, unwilling to admit that he has a point. “I won’t shoot you down, and you won’t go over my head about treatment options. I have to be kept in the loop, because as the leader of this team, I will be the first to get blamed if something goes wrong and Leland won’t hesitate to dismantle us.”

“That’s a fair point.”

Ethan extends a hand for her to shake. “Can we call a truce?” Naomi eyes Ethan’s outstretched hand, making no move to meet him halfway. “Or not?”

“We can call a truce.” Finally giving in, Naomi shakes his hand. His hand engulfs hers, and nerves skitter up and down her spine.

This man used to be her husband for Christ’s sake, and now merely shaking his hand has her in a tizzy. She pulls back and awkwardly clears her throat. If Ethan is affected by the physical contact at all, he doesn’t show it. “It's getting late, and my food will be here soon.”

“Oh, of course!” Ethan shoves the bottle of Casamigos into Naomi’s hand. “Enjoy. Please don’t let my trip to Bloom’s office be in vain.”

“Thank you.”

“So….see you at work tomorrow?”

“Yes, Ethan. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

“Good. Enjoy the rest of your evening.” Ethan turns around with a slight wave and walks out the apartment without a backwards glance.

It isn’t until he reaches the elevator that he finally exhales.

And for the rest of the night, he tries his hardest to ignore the tingle he feels in the hand she touched.

~v~

Tags: @openheartfanfics @mvalentine @choicesaddict5 @professorkingslay @maurine07 @bluebellot @whimsicallywayward15 @takemyopenheart @jamespotterthefirst @fanmantrashcan @whatchique @ao719 @x-kyne-x @paulfwesley @the-pale-goddess @writinghereandthere @ramseyandrys @perriewinklenerdie @aworldoffandoms @thatcatlady0716 @drakewalker04 @canknot @hatescapsicum @lapisreviewsstuff @senseofduties @badchoicesposts @ethandaddyramseyx @chasingrobbie @zodiacsign1 @choices-lurker @my-heart-beats-for-ya @adrian-motherfucking-raines @riverrune @edith-eggs1 @cecilecontrera @thatysn @bellcat2010 @blainehellyes @junehiratas @choices-love-affair @openheart12 @desmaranj @nazario-sayeed @aestheticartsx-blog @ruinedbypixels @nooruleman @rookie-ramsey @uneravine @choicest @schnitzelbutterfingers @stateofgracious

[guacameowle]

Jumin Han’s Bad End 2 DLC - Notes / Opinion

Y’all know me. I have to take notes for everything I play or read or watch. I can’t help it. Here we have Jumin Han’s Bad End 2 DLC. The infamous bad end. The red shoes bad end. The “kinky” bad end, to some. Not my favorite bad end, but a memorable one. With that said, let’s dive in! Spoilers ahead!

Episode 1

This DLC has multiple endings! Interesting. Depending on how I answer will determine which end I get. This has me thinking there may be a way to get Jumin back onto a healthier relationship track? I will eventually aim to achieve both endings, though.

Jumin’s hand is fucking HUGE. MASSIVE. WHAT ARE THEY FEEDING HIM? Please hold while I scream at Kristan (jalaqueeno) about this. Holy shit.

It’s been one month since Jumin went to work. One whole month! Mr. Jumin Workaholic Han hasn’t gone to work in ONE MONTH! This man has made it his sole mission to keep you locked up & stay with you. Dude, like… why are you so obsessed with me~?

MANSION? They’re not in the penthouse anymore? I mean… there are worse cages to be kept in.

I am absolutely playing the answers that subtly suggest I am not ok with this new forced live-in situation.

HE’S TRACKING HOW MANY STEPS I’VE TAKEN. Wait until this man finds out I hate walking the mile…

Jumin continues to call this a game. Says he has a therapist on standby. Does he know that HE can use the therapist? In fact, I highly recommend it.

He says you can leave at any time. Color me suspicious. I don’t believe him for one second. How far is this “game” going?

MY PRECIOUS BABY DARLING SWEETIE PIE TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD WHOLESOME BEAUTY PERFECT CUPCAKE ELIZABETH 3RD HAS ARRIVED!

According to Jaehee, MC has been with Jumin for two months now.

Interesting how Jaehee makes a point to mention the mansion being untouched as this is where Jumin keeps his childhood toys. He brought you where he keeps his toys. Does he really see all of this as a game & you’re a toy? Can he snap out of it if you call for the game to end, or will there be backlash?

Some of these answer choices feel tricky. I’m trying to gently weasel my way out of this “game” without hurting anyone.

“Don’t say that to my master.” Listen, Jumin is my favorite man in this game, but that answer option physically made me cringe. Me? Call a man master? I could never. Not me. Not this bitch.

Wow. Ok. All this stuff with Jumin’s mom is moving fast. I can already see if he actually does lose her, it may make him hold onto MC that much more/harder. Maybe. 

Woah woah woah. I know Jumin is acting a little suspicious & out of sorts, BUT AIN’T NO ONE MARRYING HIM EXCEPT ME. ALL RIGHT? I’ll fight. I know where to get a bomb…

Excuse me? A fitness trainer? Yeah........ about that. I’m going to have to leave. Sorry this situation didn’t work out between us Juju. Best of luck, though!

Episode 2

My room is kind of cute! Wait, why the fuck aren’t Jumin & I sharing a room? If I’m locked up & tracked, you better believe I’m sleeping next to that dick.

Send a message to space? The fuck?

Oh. Duh.

“I heard that obsession comes from anxiety.” DING DING DING DING.

Omg Seven. You can’t just ask me to open my box. I’m seeing another man...

LONG HAIRED JUMIN?????

Jumin really didn’t have one woman in his life who wasn’t cold or weird to him. I know we already knew from his route he had a difficult upbringing. But I hadn’t expected them to dive into that aspect for this DLC but I can see how there’s the connection.

I told him I wanted to be alone to see if he’d respect boundaries.

OH SHIT THAT CHAPTER ENDED SO QUICK. DID I FUCK UP?!

Episode 3

So are we meant to see this adult Jumin, playing this “game” with MC, as him regressing within himself & falling back to enjoying fantasy? Avoiding reality? Something he didn’t allow himself to do as an actual child? He didn’t understand why people indulge in magic, fantasy, make-believe as a kid. Now he’s vastly overshot the mark to the point that this fantasy life with MC has become his “reality.”

DO NOT GIVE THIS BABY BOY WINE, I SWEAR TO GOD.

Omg. Little Jumin is so cute. I will fight everyone to protect him.

This woman done fucked up. Look at this child, you’ve given him anxiety. He doesn’t know if you want him to be mechanical or a normal kid. Jesus. All this Work Work Work No Emotion Work Only No Feelings bullshit is her fault. Jumin’s only doing what he was taught. He was told this is all he’s good for, all he was meant for.

“I feel like I am a tool. Sometimes I want to be treated like a son.” STOP. IF THIS GAME MAKES ME CRY. I’M GONNA FIGHT SOMEONE.

IF Y’ALL DON’T GIVE THIS LITTLE BOY THE LOVE & AFFECTION & CARE HE DESERVES

Jumin is obsessed with grape juice. Grows up to be obsessed with wine. Y’all made him an alcoholic.

“I am not like her. I will not be cold. I will be warm to my family…” JUMIIIIIN. THIS LITTLE BOY IS TRYING SO HARD! IT IS POSSIBLE JUMIN! AIM FOR YOUR GOOD & NORMAL ENDINGS!

SLEEPY JUMIN HAN CG

OH FUCK

OH FUCK ME

OH HELLO HUSBAND GODDAMN YOU LOOKIN’ CUTE AS FUCK

LET ME HOLD YOU JUMIN. YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED & HELD & CARED FOR!

I think you have to choose the answers that gently pry you away from Jumin? He can’t force this relationship. It can’t be controlled by him. It isn’t a game. He needs to come to that realization, but he’s really not making that connection...

“I have never been involved in a deal outside a form of give-and-take.” Oh, that hurt. He doesn’t trust you to stay with him unless he can offer you something? His money/extravagance/keeping you in this “game” you started with him & him playing into it is what he has to do to keep you with him.

“Please show me that you love me. I want to know what love is.” Insert Explicit MC x Jumin Fanfic Here. I’ll show you, Jumin. I’ll show you all night long.

*Jumin snuggled closer* In my own personal canon, that means we FUCKED. SLOWLY. GENTLY. ROMANTICALLY.

Episode 4

The creepy lullaby music started up. Shit is about to go down.

Omg is this butler going to lock me in the basement?

Lmao did I fuck up with the “what’s a cage doing here?” reply? How was I supposed to know there wasn’t actually a cage there? No Jumin, I don’t want a cage. …. at least not for me, but we can discuss that later.

SHE WOULD LOCK HIM IN THE BASEMENT? That’s it. I’m fighting everyone. Stay behind me Jumin, I’ll protect you.

“Let me talk to her! I’d like a word with her!” LET ME AT HER, JUMIN. I HAVE SOME SHIT TO SAY. SHE’S DYING. I HAVE A SHORT WINDOW. LET ME AT HER.

Not little boy Jumin Shawshank Redemptioning his way out of the basement omggggg

JUMIN YOU WANNA FUCK? NOW? This man is sending me through whirlwind of emotions.

OH SHIT. I’m torn between the “whisper in his ear” option or the “let’s change our roles for just today” because as y’all may know, I enjoy being in charge.

Me: “Let’s change our roles…” Jumin: “Uhhh maybe we should leave.” Darling, you know you’re a submissive. It’s ok. No judgement.

FADE TO BLAAAAACK. THEY FUCKIN’.

I’M HOOTIN’ & HOLLERING. After the fade the black I said I would stay in my own clothes & Jumin says, “They’re dirtier than you would think.” DID THIS MAN JUST CUM EVERYWHERE? LMAAAOOOO

Happy End!

Ayyy we did it, lads! Unlocked the happy ending first. Even though we already gave Jumin a happy ending in that basement, you know what I’m sayin’~

LMFAOOOOO JUMIN STILL CAN’T DRIVE LMFAOOOO

Wait, turned our backs on everything? How the fuck is this the happy end? Happy for who? Jumin?

So… what the fuck was that?

The good ending just reenforces this “only us” narrative? The good ending is that this “game” Jumin & MC are playing doesn’t end? Nothing resolves. He doesn’t mend any relationships. There’s no healing or moving on. He exerts more of his control on MC & takes more drastic measures to ensure they’re together.

WAIT. DID WE JUST FUCKING ABANDON ELIZABETH 3RD TOO? ABSOLUTELY NOT. THIS ENDING SUCKS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? FUCK THAT. PISS OFF, JUMIN HAN. I WON’T HAVE THAT BULLSHIT. YOU DID NOT JUST TURN INTO A PET ABANDONER RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FUCKING FACE. I HATE IT. NO. I’M OUT.

The CG was hot, though. Jumin in black on black on black? AND GLOVES?! Hell yeah. That’s a whole meal right there. Delicious. 

Episode 1 (Attempt 2)

Well, time to try to get the bad end (????) now I guess. Maybe the bad end is that this game of their’s actually does break. That’s what I’m hoping for at least.

Jumin already making jokes about switching roles. Jumin, my love. I am more than happy - extremely willing & eager actually - to be in charge here.

Pretending to want all of this ‘being a possession’ nonsense is making me uncomfyyyy.

Episode 2 (Attempt 2)

“Do something Jumin wouldn’t like” Lmaooo it calls Zen. HAHAHAHAHA

I think Zen’s voice acting is some of the most expressive, in this whole game.

Ah, so then I guess turning on the computer let’s you talk to Yoosung.

Not Jumin deliberately cutting my call. The audacity.

Jumin, possessiveness can sometimes be cute. But in this case, I’m not having it. Not interested.

All the toys in the world didn’t keep Jumin entertained. BUT THIS PUSSY DOES.

Episode 3 (Attempt 2)

Flew through that one just choosing the options I didn’t choose before. Didn’t seem to glean any new information except the fact that Jumin no longer has a desire to form a family, says it entirely depends on how badly MC wants a family. Continues that narrative of, if MC wants it, he will provide it... to keep her.

Episode 4 (Attempt 2)

So we’re just going to leave gold bars in that safe?

Happy End Again????

It says I got Happy End again, even though I chose entirely different answers & went along with being Jumin’s possession...

OH WAIT, IT IS DIFFERENT!

I can’t believe my first meeting with Jumin’s mother is after he rawed me in the basement & had me put on a fantasy fairy tale princess dress to make our escape. Omfg. Ma’am, your son’s cum is still dripping out of me, please give me a few minutes to freshen up first. Goddamn.

Jumin’s mom is named Carolyn!

I can’t believe I’m in the middle of a family argument while Jumin’s cum glues my thighs together.

She ain’t sick. She’s lying. I’m calling it.

“Simple - make him soft” Jumin: “Like mashed potato?” LIKE MASHED POTATO? FIRST OF ALL, JUMIN SAYING ‘MASHED POTATO’ IS SO FUCKING CUTE I WANNA SCREAM. Secondly I meant, make him soft as in help him let down some barriers & let people in.

“I heard sons are psychologically bound to be attracted to women reminiscent of their mothers.” Ok yes, that may be true but you don’t have to remind me. Bleh. Stop.

“If my consort is to leave me one day, I will be scarred for the rest of my life.” I am sad for him. So sad.

ONE BILLION, TO BREAK UP WITH JUMIN? WOMAN, YOU ARE SOMETHING ELSE.

The “mind if I touch it” option fucking sent me. I’m laughing so hard. It is 1am. I might wake up my neighbor! I chose the “…..” option though. I’m sticking with Jumin through this. Let’s see what happens.

… I’ll loop back & choose the money if I can though to see what chaos occurs.

“This is exactly what people mean when they say, ‘So not cool.’” JUMIN. NOW IS NOT THE TIME LMFAOOOO

Jumin went back to work. All right, that’s progress. He renovated the basement on a happier note. Ok ok, small progress. 

“Now I wish to paint this entire place with our love.” TIME TO CHRISTEN EVERY ROOM WITH SEEEEX

THAT CG!!!!! AAAHHHHHHH!!!! WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW!!!!!!

Looping back to choose more options for this episode...

CALLED JUMIN’S MOM AN OLD HAG & JUMIN LIKED WHEN I DID THAT LMAOOOO. I would like to call her a lot of things.

Final thoughts:

Long story short (too late), this DLC reenforces that this is a Bad Ending path, in which you won’t find a fix for Jumin, won’t find a way to get him back on track to his true good end. And that’s ok! This is a bad end after all! Though both endings are listed as “good” or “happy” endings, they’re still set in this twisted relationship, this weak form of love, Jumin believes is real. He calls it a game, says a therapist is on standby, says MC can leave any time she wants, yet when she chooses options that distances herself, suggests Jumin pay more attention to something other than her, or shows she’d like more freedom, he immediately blocks that path in some way. Even when choosing all the options that don’t give in to the plaything/being controlled role, the conclusion is Jumin reenforcing his control harder - you both escape together to be alone, neglecting everyone & everything in your life, & Jumin insists all he has to do is take care of you in various ways - to give you everything - to keep you with him. Even following the confrontation with Jumin’s mother & turning down the option to leave Jumin for money, it shows how far Jumin will go to keep MC. He truly believes he has to provide everything (money, security, possessions, etc.) in exchange for her love, her company, her willingness to be with him. This man has slowly been broken over & over again over the course of his life & he’s finally given in to these poor teachings & selfish encouragements, & has convinced himself what he’s found is full love where he provides anything & everything to keep MC’s interest in him. A clear give & take relationship. A contract. A game. And he’s not about to let that go.

Personally, while this path isn’t my favorite for Jumin, I was still absolutely impressed with the two different ways they had this particular Bad End play out. An emotional read from start to finish & back again.

[adonis-koo]

I’m a lil bit afraid after seeing Missy say things are getting complicated for mc but let’s gooooo

oh we’re just jumping right in okay

Wheein ,,,,, girl ,,,, I guess ,,,,,

It’s the way that mc is literally still getting her hands bandaged and STILL has to do this stupid fight ugh I hate seohyun

The way I wanna fight anyone who’s sneering rn

Grabbing her chin🥹

Oh SHUT UP YOU DUMB BITCH judgement day??? Yeah maybe for your sorry ass bc EVERYONE here knows you’re just doing this bc you’re jealous and it’s like you’re picking on a little kid as teenager when we compare training like COME TF ON

TELL HER MC

WHY IS SHE TRYING TO KILL HER ??? I mean we know why but SHES THE MF PRINCESS STOPPPPPP

Okay but also just need to add I can literally perfectly picture this fight in my head rn like sounds and everything

Aww bby is worried

MAYBE BC SHES HAD AS MUCH TRAINING AS APPARENTLY ALL NEWBORNS HAVE IN YOUR DAMN COUNTRY MAYBE THATS WHY YOU ASSHOLE

YEAH !!!!!

Idk if she’ll pretend being burnt out atp bc mc is pissing her off so hopefully she just fights in a rage with no brain

WE ALL KNOW THAT YOURE THE TRUE COWARD HERE OH MY GODDDDDD I WANNA MURDER HER

,,,,, does she ,,,,, not know history? Like if I was mc I’d be heated but from where I’m sitting seohyun just sounds dumb like who tf do you think helped y’all when your country first fell hello ?????

Idk she might fall for this jungkook ,,,,,,

YEAHH GO MC TELL HER !!

OH MY FUCK ABSOLUTELY NOT IS THAT ALLOWED ???? WHAT THE FUCK ????

AHHHH YAYYY !!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT !!??????

In sweetness there is strength baby

but ahhhh I’m so proud of mc omg she did amazing 🥹

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK NO I WILL MURDER THIS BITCH IM GOING TO SLICE HER HEAD OFF HER BODY AND STICK IT ON A PIKE THIS IS NOT OKAY

I’m sorry . I’m confused . Your reputation has already been ruined first bc of your awful behavior and now you literally lost to someone with barely any training and NOW you’re pulling this shit ???? Also what traitor???? And not standby if duty calls??? Literally what are you going on about?? I’m sorry she sounds crazy like none of this is happening idk ,,,, and if it is if anything it’s been happening /to/ mc with the whole assassination attempt thing so

I’m sorry. Did everyone else have their eyes closed? MC won. She won. Went to take a bow bc the match was OVER and then was kicked. After the match. Idk what kind of bs rules these are but mc won. Not seohyun.

Also jungkook,,,,, that’s kinda hot ,,,,,🫠

Ooh shit ,,,,, goddamn that was brutal and she deserved it🥰

You know I’ve about had it with these stupid fucking knights YALL WANT A PIECE OF ME??? LET ME AT EM MISSY wheein and I will go kick their asses

NO BBY YOU WON !!! You deserve to celebrate🥹 awww I’m really glad they’re celebrating her she deserves it !!!!

I mean atp this is how it should be like yeah I hope he is completely over that wench like come on now

WAIT sorry I just had a sinking feeling considering what Missy has said about the next couple chapters oh god like it’s good now I’m scared what’s gonna go wrong ,,,

Friends ,,,,, right ,,,, cuz the whole naked bath thing is a thing friends do,,,, okay ,,,

Personally I’d love to be manhandled like a sack of flour but in a fun way ya know but maybe that’s just me

With the pictures of jungkook that came out recently and this robe situation yeah do not talk to me rn ,,,,,

Ooh I hope she gets to trace them later🥰🥰🥰

Her waist🫠

Jungkook I’m gonna need you to keep your hands where I can see them for my sanity okay? Thanks🥰

AWWW THE FIRST OF MANY I BET !!!

TELL HWR JUNGKOOK TELL HER !!!!!! Bc she did win like that was v clear

The chin again 🫠 this is not what I meant by hands where I can see them I didn’t mean directly next to mcs eyes

G- good ,,,,,,,, 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

T-throat🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

,,,,,,rubbing windpipe .,,,,,,,,,

we ,,,,,,

dress

wALL ?????

not marking her I-

dONT BE QUIET ???????

B O S S E D A R O U N D ??!!!!!!?

,,,,,,,,

“look at me when I speak to you”

🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

T-thigh k-kiss 😣😣😣😣

Why are you bringing up another man in the bedroom rn babes GET UR HEAD IN THE GAME JK

rIPPED ?!!!!!?!!?!!

Side note it’s v clear you’re v possessive sweet prince like we all know hearing that she hasn’t done this before is turning you on

I- well. Possessive was the right word ig

ARE TOU SERIOUS RN WHO TF

WHEEIN .

JUNGKOOK ??????

Not Taehyun pls he’s been through enough😭😭😭😭

Ooh I hope mc gets back at jungkook for that

Wow that was an incredible scene tho you always amaze me Missy !!

LMAOOOO JIMIN GET HIMMMMMM where’s yoongi and hobi get them in on this too

No idea ,,,,, right ….

LMAOOO YESSSS MISSY YOURE GREAT BRINGING HOBI IN BLESS

Okay jungkook damn

POSSESSIVE EXACTLY I’m glad we’re all on the same page

OH MT GOD HE WANTED TO INCORPORATE HER PREFERENCES AHHHHH THATS SO SWEET

CUT OUT BENEATH THE CHEST HELLO ???? If you’ve got an image of this Missy I’d love to see it !!!!

“Does he like you too?” Oh my god mc🙄 what is this? Middle school?

Was not expecting him to give a straight answer alright ,,,,,,🫠

Pls don’t make her fight again ,,,

LMAOOOO CALL HIM OUT WE LOVE TO SEE IT

oh fuck off 🙄 we were having fun, read the room nobody wants ur dumb ass here cLaUdiN

LMAOOOOOOOOO AS HE SHOULD🗡🗡🗡

🙄🙄🙄 oh whatever

o-oh

nOT BEHIND THE CHAIR YOONGI YOURE LATE PLS this is not fair mc deserves to embarrass jk in front of yoongi this keeps happening😭

pLEASE NOBODY PERCEIVE MC RN

He’s just a lil jealous bby it’s fine

LMAOOO I love that everyone’s ready to bat for MC this is the energy I wanna see !!!! Throw wheein in the mix and bodies will drop I can assure you

AWWWW ONE FOR TAEHYUN TOO !!!! 🥹

Okay DAD 🙄

Not a shot from jimin😭😭😭

Aww a little full circle moment this is cute🥹

…… wait are they gonna get attacked ….. both drunk and vulnerable ….. dark corridor….. can barely stand while walking up stairs….. idk sounds like the perfect place to do a lil push and send them both tumbling to their deaths while making it look like an accident idk …… I am nervous

Oh wow, she- wow. Alright .

Are we.,,,, getting a second smut scene ???? Oh my god………….

Throat again 🫠

We- 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

MC he’s gonna make you pls for both of our sakes don’t provoke him😖🫠

Sw- we- okay.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO POOR MC MY POOR BABY

wow I mean the fact this is still going on after she 🤢 is impressive like damn they were really holding back the horny weren’t they LMAO

Oh wow

Do not do this to me I will smack you jk don’t leave her like that !!!!!!😠

Oh no pls don’t fight pls 😭

Oh god bless

I mean he’s right you drink that much you pay the price lol

OH MY GOD SHE GAVE HIM A HICKEY ???? LMAOOOOOO YOU LOVE TO SEEE IT !!!

And did. She really did. I can’t blame her🤷🏻‍♀️

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO RELENTLESS

JUNGKOOK PLS THE THROAT AGAIN

oH MY GODDDDDDDD🫠🫠

Ugh jeong dae this crusty old man🙄

Okay mc knows her stuff!!! I’m so proud of her🥹🫶🏻

Honestly she’s kinda holding her own and whether he’d admit or not I feel like jeong dae is a bit impressed so this is good !!

Oh my god now what.

Ex fucking cuse me ?????

NO THE FUCK WE ARE NOT

NO

NO

MISSY WHAT THE FUCK

AND ITS JUST OVER ?????

NO

NO.

N O .

…..

Honestly if I didn’t like you so much we’d have serious beef rn NOT MY BABY GIRL WHEEIN !!!!!!!

I want that man’s head on a platter rn the fucking nerve ,,,

Anyways,,,,

AN AMAZING CHAPTER AS USUAL MISSY !!!! God you’re such an incredible writer and storyteller and the SMUT SCENES MWAH! Idk how you did it but truly you hit like half of my kinks so love that for me! God. If you can have like a writer soulmate like a writer who writes exactly the way you like to read like you are it for me. MWAH!😚 a big ol kiss on your forehead!!! I literally don’t know what else to say I’m kinda flabbergasted rn and also have a headache bc I need to sleep so hopefully my commentary throughout my read can get my thoughts across. But truly an amazing chapter. The relationship ESP WHEN THEY JUST QUICKLY RESOLVED THE TRUST THING AHHHHH the growth is IMMENSE between them I’m so proud🥹 I’m sure it’s gonna get fucked up soon but for now I’m proud🥹🫶🏻 and the sweet little moments like morning after stuff and the spicey moments and possessiveness OMG AND THE TEASING FROM THE OTHER BOYS TO JUNGKOOK AHHHH I loved that scene that was so cute!!!!! Oh my god that fucking duel seohyun is such a coward and a loser good god,,,,

Things are def heating up in terms of the relationships but also just the plot like not my poor baby girl wheein😭😭😭 wait omg the way I was mouthing off like we were gonna kick ass together no did I curse her😭😭😭

idk what tf is gonna happen next I feel like taehyung is gonna be PISSED but I know it’s gonna be wild and crazy and I CANT WAIT(in a like non literal sense I will wait as long as you need bc a masterpiece takes time duh) thank you so much Missy for a great chapter and I can’t wait to see where your beautiful mind takes us next!!! Have a great rest of your week and make sure to rest when you need to!! And idk about where you live but where I live it’s crazy hot so stay hydrated!!! Plus it’s good to do anyways Love ya!! -💜💜💜

HEHEHE your reaction to the aftermath scene of the dual just had me giggling and kicking my feet 🤣 Jungkook really does have a thing for grabbing her throat in case you couldn’t tell LOL 🤣 ALSO

It’s a personal theory of my own but I’d like to think that Seohyun was probably having a manic episode, probably hitting its peak after realizing she lost to MC and then deciding to make a total ass of herself 💀 truth be told she actually doesn’t know Eunoia’s history! By some of Jungkook’s comments in previous chapters about being unaware of her history we can gather the common theme that Penumbra does not teach other countries history in detail unless it relates to them!

SO Seohyun was really opening mouth and inserting foot about all the garbage because she’s highly ignorant of Eunoia, even if she now has the resources as an adult to study it!

Also this is a total topic change but yES HE RIPPED HER PANTIES, IT WAS MEANT LITERAL HE WAS SO EXCITED AT THE FINDING OUT HE WAS THE FIRST TO GO DOWN ON HER SO HE RIPPED THEM RIGHT OFF also everyone’s reaction to his possessiveness in that scene is hilarious!! 🤣 I’m really living for it!

Also I’m really happy seeing how light everyone is taking the second almost smut scene HAHAH I wasn’t sure if people were gonna feel robbed because it’s been so long but like I needed to find a valid reason to get them to stop otherwise they were gonna do it totally hammered 🤣 I’m glad to see everyone laughing about it because I totally was when I wrote it.

Also your reaction to Claudin had me DYING 😭😭 the delivery, the spelling, it had me rolling on the ground LMFAO ALSO YES SHE GAVE HIM A HICKEY 🙌🙌🙌 I thought about doing it the other way around but then I was like 😈😈 it would be THAT much better if she gave him one and honestly?? No regrets because the whole court is probably waiting with bated breath to see them fight. Because when they see his hickey they all just assume he had an affair and then it’s actually just his wife like- oh it’s gonna be glorious honestly 🤣

You’re totally right about Jeong Dae though! MC has really put the effort into getting accustom to Penumbra and their history and it’s totally showing, and he is definitely impressed! But being the hard ass he is, he TOTALLY doesn’t wanna admit it 🤣

Also HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA 😈😈😈😈 yes it’s over!! Y’all KNOW how much I love my little cliff hangers!!! Ahh thank you so much for such a lovely review my dear!! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the time and effort you put into writing these not to mention I can’t tell you how flattered I am to be called your soulmate writer 🥹🫶 when I’m having a bad day with writing or I get a mean anon I like coming back and reading your reviews and so many others to remind myself that I’m truly blessed to have so many kind people express how much they enjoy my work!

I cannot appreciate it enough! It was SUPER hot here for awhile but it’s starting to cool down into chilly mornings and evenings and mild days here, a rare September for the Midwest where I live haha, but an early sign of autumn is VERY welcomed here! 🖤 I hope you stay hydrated as well and rest up! 🥹🫶🫶

[punyhoomans]

My landlord illegally evicted me and I need help covering legal fees and moving costs.

Hola, y’all. I super didn’t want to be here again, but I need your help.

When the pandemic caused my job site to shut down, I was able to work from home, but with no opportunity for overtime, my income was reduced by nearly 1/3rd. I had to cancel my car insurance and suspend my phone service. When I attempted to explain this difficulty meant I might need to wait for my stimulus check to pay rent for April, She accused me of “capitalizing on the pandemic”, “taking advantage”, and “making her look bad to the bank”. She refused to either accept delayed payment or to do anything at all to mitigate the problem on her end. (At the time, I had been the only renter in a 10 bedroom Airbnb house in *weeks*.)

On Friday, May 8th, after weeks of documented harassment, insults, threats, and turning off the wi-fi (preventing me from working from home and jeopardizing my job) my landlord somehow found my twitter and fabricated a claim of fear for her safety to the police and forced me to leave, abandoning the majority of my possessions in the single airbnb room I was renting in her basement.

The police said they couldn’t keep me from coming back but that I should call them to standby. I came back the next day and called them. She (the landlord) immediately began screaming at police and at me and did not stop the whole time I was there. I barely had time to grab clothes and my work laptop.

On Monday, May 11th, she texted me and demanded I have my stuff out by Friday, May 15th or she would take me to court. The soonest I could schedule movers was that friday, so again I went to the house with the police and she refused to allow me entry to pack or clean until the movers showed. The movers ended up getting stuck on another job, and the police hadn’t stuck around, so I left. The next day (Saturday, May 16th) she texts me to demand I have my stuff out by the next day (Sunday, May 17) or she will “break down the door and charge [me] for it before throwing my stuff into the street.”

By some miracle, I was able to speak to a lawyer’s assistant Saturday night, and sunday I went to the house with the police yet again (with whom she got into a shouting match) to ask her to agree not to touch my stuff until Monday.

TODAY, MONDAY MAY 18TH: The lawyer agreed to help, to the tune of $300/hr ($525 total). The Housing Court clerk told me to file a Statement of Fact form to open a case against the landlord.

I sent the form, and they called her to see if this could be resolved before taking it to a judge. She is maintaining her position that I cannot come into the house until the movers and police are there. I can’t afford to pay movers $150/hr in 15min increments to hang around while I clean and pack, nor can I afford to hire movers now, and then again when I find another place to live. If the case goes before a judge, I will have to pay $130 to open the case and an additional $90 if the judge makes a ruling, not to mention the possibility of more attorney costs.

Since Friday the 8th, I have had to pay:

$1250 for an airbnb

$510 for an emergency car repair

$300 for an ER visit for kidney stones woooo

$700+ dollars in legal fees.

I still need to pay movers which can cost up to $600 per trip, and move in costs for a new place, which can be up to $3000 or more.

I’m still working, thankfully. I get paid again the 29th, but I will still be far behind where I need to be to get a new place.

This has been a sickening, infuriating, exhausting, humiliating experience.

If you can, please consider donating? If you can’t, please consider signal boosting? Either way, thank you for taking time to read about my continuing misadventures.

paypal.me/allanc3001

ko-fi.com/punyhumans

(venmo) @ allan-cancinos

<3

[percywinchester27]

A lot like ‘Us’ (Part-12)

Word count: 5.4K

Pairing: Sam X Reader AU

Warnings: Feels, pining, fluff ;)

Series Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is eager and honestly, still in awe that she managed to get herself an acceptance from Stanford Law School. On the face of it, her life seems as put together, mysterious and independent as one might hope for. On the insides, she carries the burden of past that haunts her till date. Seemingly, she’d left it all behind; that is until she sets foot in the class of the Law School’s youngest, most promising professor.

A/N: I am so excited to see what you think of this chapter! I haven’t made a secret of the fact that this is one of my absolute favorite chapters. I had a lot of fun writing it <3

The story employs two different timelines. The present timeline for the story takes place in 2014. Please let me know what you guys think :)

Beta: @deanssweetheart23​​. You are a goddess. I love you <3

A lot like ‘Us’ masterlist

Sam regretted it the moment he stepped into the bar. The lights were dim, the music was hip and it was too full of people. What was more, a lot of those faces seemed familiar. Maybe he had seen them around the campus?

Sam found a corner booth, away from the bar counter and the pool table. It was isolated and about as quiet as any table was going to get. He drew out his phone and texted Jody.

“I’m here. Where are you?”

Sighing, he locked the screen on his phone. Sam was beyond exhausted. He had stayed up the night, driven for close to twelve hours in total to and fro from LA, and went cut to cut with one of the fiercest attorneys he had ever met. At least, James was out for good. The look on his face at the sight of Sam had been worth everything. Sam had been so scared that he wouldn’t be able to get the kid out. Now that he had, all he wanted to do was fall in bed and not wake up till Sunday. 

Even as that thought took shape, he knew he was lying to himself. More than anything, he wanted to find Y/N and thank her for her help last night, let her know how the hearing went. If someone at Acton Gris had helped him, he would have taken them along for the hearing because the effort deserved it. A part of him had wanted to ask Y/N. She would be allowed, since she was a law student accompanying the attorney, but Sam didn’t think he could handle being in her presence for so long. Besides, she’d had classes in the morning. Either way, she deserved to know the verdict. He had contemplated emailing her, then thought better of it. Maybe he would drop by at the library to see if it was her shift. It was only 12. The library would be open for at least two more hours.

He banished the thought as quickly as it appeared, though, physically shaking his head. He needed to factor in the consideration that she probably didn’t want to keep running into him all the time.

His phone pinged. It was Jody letting him know that Alex was yet to get home from some party of her own and that she would be late, if she came at all. 

Fantastic. Simply fantastic.

He should have just gone to bed. Being in bars at midnight? He was too old for this. It had been Jody’s idea to begin with! She was the one who had made plans for the weekend and was standing him up now.

“Professor Winchester?”

Sam groaned internally before seeing who had called him. It was a glimmeringly clad freshman from his class. 

Could the evening get any worse? He had to run into his students.

“Ohmygosh! I can’t believe you’re here,” gushed the girl. Sam vaguely remembered that her name was Staten.

The other girl whose name Sam didn’t know at all nodded vigorously. “You’re so cool!”

Both of them were bright eyed and obviously tipsy. That was a combination for trouble if Sam had ever seen one. 

He got up. “Nice to see you ladies,” he said sliding out of the booth. “I’m going to step out for just a second. Y’all have fun.”

“Mr. Winchester,” one of them called, but Sam was out the back door. Few years of teaching had taught him enough in that department. During his early days, years ago, when he first started as a visiting faculty, he would insist that the class call him by his first name. He had been ignorant about how it came across and only after a couple of students had made a pass at him had he grown wary and stuck to being addressed by his last name. It never got less weird, having people address him as ‘Mr. Winchester,’ but he was used to it now.

Stepping outside, Sam breathed in the cold air, wondering again what the hell he was doing here.

He pulled out his phone and dialed Jody.

She picked up on the second ring. “I’m so sorry, Sam!” She apologised profusely. “Alex’s tyre gave out and she’s stranded a couple miles out.”

“Shit. Do you want me to pick her up?”

“No, it’s alright,” she reassured. “She’ll feel awful about you driving out to get her. I’m heading out now. Please just wait a little longer. I feel horrible about keeping you waiting, especially since it was my idea.”

He looked at the watch. It was quarter past twelve. “Jody…” he sighed.

“Okay, wait for just fifteen more minutes,” she bargained. “If I’m not there by then, you can go home and I’ll owe you drinks for the rest of the year.”

“Rest of your life, and we have a deal,” Sam smiled despite himself. “Okay. Fifteen minutes.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” She said, clearly amused. “That’s how you become a good lawyer. Okay, Fine.”

Sam laughed.

“You know I love you, Winchester.”

“I know you do!”

Sam put the phone back in his pocket. He wouldn’t have known what to do with his life if Jody hadn’t stepped in and taught him how to look after another person who was solely dependent on him. She was the best friend and mentor he could have asked for.

He slid back inside the bar, determined to avoid any and each student he saw. Especially the drunk ones. Luck was on his side. The whole freshman gang had moved to the pool table, removed from the main area. This late he would have expected the crowd to thin out, but hoards of people were on the dance floor moving their bodies to the rhythm of the song. Taking advantage of the crowd, Sam went over to the bar counter.

“Jack. Neat!” He asked the woman behind the counter. She had long dark hair and a mischievous smile.

“Coming right up, handsome!” She winked.

Sam smiled awkwardly as she slid the glass.

“Hey, Mister! Repeat this one!”

Sam’s head snapped in the direction of the voice. It was loud and bossy and Y/N’s.

“Y/N?” The bartender in front of him squinted at the girl two benches from him, clearly surprised.

Sam would have moved sooner, but he was awestruck at the sight of her. Y/N was wearing a silky, satiny top that was cut low and clung to her body like a second skin over tight jeans and heeled boots. Her hair cascaded over her bare shoulders like a nymph’s. Sam’s throat went dry.

The bartender rushed over to her. “Christ, Y/N!” she said. “What’re you doing here?”

Y/N looked at her with wide, surprised eyes. “Pam! OH MY GOD, PAM! It’s you! 

“Yes, I work here,” the bartender, whose name was apparently Pam, said. “Rob, how much has she had to drink?”

The guy shrugged. “One vodka, three tequillas. I don’t know about before.”

“Y/N?” Pam patted Y/N’s face. “Are you by yourself?”

“Kinda!” Y/N giggled, tossing her hair back in a smooth flip. Sam’s heartbeat spiked at the sight. He absolutely couldn’t wrench his eyes away.

Y/N bent over the counter, then jerked her thumb at the freshman gang and whispered conspiratorially. “I’m with those guys over there, but I don’t think they care if I wander off. Can I tell you a secret? Most of them are douchebags anyway.”

“Rob!” Pam barked. “Do we have a standby? Rinny? Or just anyone else?”

“It’s just us tonight.”

“Well, fuck!” Pam swore.

“Y/N, honey,” she tried to get Y/N to listen to her, but Y/N was already trying to sit up on the bar, blowing kisses at Pam. “You’re the best, Pam. Just the absolute best and I love how much you love my cookies.”

“Everyone loves your cookies, honey, but you need to get down.”

“Okay… Okay,” Y/N winked. She slipped as she tried to get down from the counter. Reflexively Sam moved, catching her before she crashed to the ground.

“I got you, don’t worry,” he said in a low voice only to her and she looked up at him with wide confused eyes. 

“Hey, get your hands off of her, Mister.” Pam hissed, looking scarily angry. “I said, let go of her. Right now.”

Sam did so immediately, but Y/N didn’t let go of his shirt. “I know her,” he tried to explain to Pam, who looked like she was on the verge of calling the bouncers.

“Yeah, that’s right, you know her,” Pam grimaced. “Very believable.”

“I swear, I know her,” Sam said, wildly trying to explain. “Her name’s Y/N Y/L/N. She’s a law student at the university. First year, hails from Kansas and feels insanely cold.” Sam started spewing random facts he could think of. “Her favourite book is To kill a mockingbird. She bakes amazing muffins-”

She likes her coffee with very little milk, is scared of ducks and has a birthmark in the middle of her lower back. She likes listening to classical music and waking up early…

Meanwhile, Y/N was still looking at him in wonderment, shushing herself.

“How do you know all that about her?” Pam looked at him with suspicion and mingled curiosity.

“I’m her-” it hurt to say- “ her friend.”

She still didn’t look completely convinced.

“Y/N?” Pam asked the girl in Sam’s arms. “You know this man?”

Don’t be that far gone, Sam prayed internally. Please don’t be that far gone.

“Pfftt,” Y/N scoffed, with such force that she lost her footing again. “It’s Sam! I’d sooner forget myself than not know him! What sort of dumb question is this?”

Sam.

She had said his name. It had caressed her lips. Was it even possible to be jealous of your own name?

Pam  raised her eyebrows.

“Look,” she said, “I can’t leave my shift to drop her home and no one I can call will be up this late. Y/N clearly knows you. Do you think you can drop her home?”

“I-I don’t know where she stays!”

Pam quickly wrote down an address. “It’s just a couple blocks away. I’m going to call her cell in a while, so you better not try anything funny.”

Sam wanted to roll his eyes, but he was too terrified at the prospect of being left alone with Y/N. He glanced around to see a couple of looks coming their way.

“Yeah, I’ll take her,” he said finally. “The hangover will hit her hard in a while, it’s better that she’s home then. Trust me, I know.”

Pam took one look from his face to Y/N wrapped around his torso. “Thanks, man.”

He nodded and then slowly guided Y/N out. “C’mon. Let’s get you home.”

“You know where I live?” She asked, tilting her head to one side.

“I do now.” Fortunately or unfortunately it was right next to Sam’s street. 

He adjusted her so that she was tucked under his side. Her fingers were still boldly clutching at his undershirt, sending shocks of sensation throughout his body. 

“This way, c’mon,” He guided her forward.

“Stop pushing me. I. Can’t. Walk. Any. Faster!” She whined. “These shoes suck.”

“Okay, let’s just sit for a while.” He slowly steered her to a bench on the street. It wasn’t right outside the bar, hence, out of clear view. Sam lowered her onto the bench and she promptly pulled her feet up, trying to slide the zipper on her shoes. They honestly looked like a death trap of sorts. The zipper stuck out adamantly as she yanked at it with all her might.

Hands trembling, he caught hold of hers. “Wait. Let me.”

Slowly, with a steadier hand, Sam dragged down the zippers on both her shoes- carefully, to not touch her skin- freeing her feet. She drew into herself, massaging the reddened skin on the arch and the back of her heel. 

“Stupid Meg,” she muttered. “Shouldn’t have let her put me in these.” 

She massaged her toes. “It hurts.”

“Will you let me take a look at it?” He asked hesitantly. Y/N twisted her body and put both her feet straight into his lap. 

“Here! Look all you want.”

Her hair was fluttering lightly in the wind and despite the chill, she wasn’t reaching for the leather jacket. Looking at her was like looking at the sun. He wanted to, but couldn’t, because it hurt at the same time. The satin of her blouse was kissing her soft skin in all the right places.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Y/N teased collusively. She scooted closer, almost sitting completely in his lap now. “Can I tell you a secret? I think about it, too.”

Sam pushed her away lightly and God it hurt to do it, but she wasn’t in her senses right now. Sober, she wouldn’t have wanted any of this.

“We should get you home!” He said in a tight voice.

“No!” She was adamant. “Why are you in such a hurry to get away from me?”

Oh the irony. “You were the one who left me, Y/N.” 

Y/N not having heard a word of it was scooting closer to him again. She laid her head on his shoulder, and snaked her arms around his waist. Sam stilled, not even daring to breathe.

“Let’s just stay here forever. You and me.” She laughed all of a sudden. “This is literally the best dream I’ve ever had. I can actually feel you.” She hugged him tighter to prove her point. “See?”

“Is this what your dreams are made up of?” 

“The good ones, yeah,” she sighed tiredly. “But mostly they’re just bad and I’m cold and there’s so much water, Sam. There was so much water.”

Suddenly she started shivering and Sam pulled the jacket over her shoulders.

She looked up with tears in her eyes. “Sam, the water! And there’s so much glass. It hurts.”

A deep pain and grief that he hadn’t felt in years threatened to swallow Sam whole. “Oh, baby,” he said, at last throwing his arms around her. “It’s not real. It happened a long time ago.”

“I can’t breathe. There’s too much water.” Her words were slow and slurred. Despite that, the picture she painted was horrifying.

The memories all flashed before his eyes like it had happened yesterday. But he refused to go under. Not now.

Sam allowed himself to comfort her and be comforted by her. In this one thing, they were together. He held her as close as he had dreamed for years, yet not truly believing that this was actually happening. She smelled just the same, and the way her body curved into his hadn’t changed at all.

Sam held her like that for an immeasurable time. It felt both like an eternity and mere seconds all at once. A crazed traveller wouldn’t be more desperate for an Oasis than Sam felt for her touch. And knowing that this would end soon, that these were stolen moments made it heaven and hell at the same time.

“Y/N,” he tried again. “We need to get you home.” I need to get you home.

She didn’t reply.

“Are you asleep?”

“Yes!” She muttered and in spite everything Sam had to stifle a laugh. 

She had no footwear on, after getting herself out of those insane shoes. Sam removed his flip flops and slid them under her feet. They were way too big, but it was better than nothing. 

“Up you come.” He hoisted her slowly to her feet.

“Whoa!” She said, “everything is spinning so fast.”

“Just hold on to me. The spinning will go away.” He guided her slowly. “This way now.”

Her grasp on his shoulder slipped, pulling his shirt down with him.

“Oooohhh fancy,” she snickered, trying to touch the thin chain around his neck.

Sam fixed his shirt with the other hand so it wasn’t visible. She didn’t need to know.

It must look absurd, the two of them walking down the street. Sam, barefoot, carrying a pair of her heels in one hand and holding her by the waist with the other. Meanwhile, Y/N was humming lightly to herself, giggling at silly things, slipping and sliding in his flip flops.

At long last, they reached the address that Pam had given. Sam knew the building, he walked past it everyday to get home. The building had a solid, high compound wall, covered in vines. Keeping a tight hold on Y/N, he pushed the wrought iron gate. It creaked as it opened, leaving Sam staring at a beautiful front yard. There was curving shrubbery around the small circular garden and a mermaid shaped fountain flowing water in a circular basin with seating around it.

“Hahahaaa Judgy Judy isn’t too pleased with us,” Y/N told him sagely. “She hates people who drink even more than people who turn up late.”

“Why did you drink anyway?” He asked. “You don’t even like doing it.”

Y/N broke off, stumbling into the path. She glared at him. “Oh, so it’s okay for you to go out on dates with other people but it’s not okay for me to drink?”

That’s what she thought? That he had been in the bar for a date? Was that why she had drank?

Sam’s mind was reeling. If what she was saying was true, it meant that it mattered to her what Sam did or didn’t do with his life. Unless she still cared.

“You really think I would do that?” Abruptly, he was angry. If she cared enough to be mad with him, why had she left him to begin with?

Y/N had already moved on from the conversation. She was staring up at the mermaid’s face.

“Sam? You remember that time we went to the fair and rode the ferris wheel?”

He did remember. “You fainted immediately after.”

“Yeah, this feels exactly like that…” Y/N staggered on the spot and Sam rushed to catch her. The minute his hands found her arm, she threw up spectacularly on the front of his shirt, retching till there wasn’t anything left. Then, she promptly passed out in his arms.

He stood there for a second, looking about him, but no help was going to arrive at 2 in the night.

This was bad, very very bad. He had hoped to drop her home and then go back to his own place to wallow about how unfair the world was. What was he supposed to do now?

He had no clue if she stayed by herself. He couldn’t just leave her by herself when she was sick.

Slowly, he led her to the seating around the fountain. She laid down on it, groaning lightly.  

Sam removed his shirt, bundled it up and using some of the water from the fountain, wiped the puke from his jeans and Y/N’s feet along with his flip flops. Then he bent down and swooped her in his arms, carrying her inside the building. Getting into the lift and to her apartment was easy enough. Wrestling the key out of the purse and then unlocking the door all the while supporting her wasn’t so much.

It was pretty clear to Sam that there was no one else in the apartment when he entered. All that noise would have brought someone out by now. He barely looked at the living room, before laying Y/N down on the sofa there. There was a kitchenette to the right side. Sam poured a glass of water, added a spoon of sugar and a pinch of salt after looking through the jars. He walked back to where Y/N was curled up on the sofa and coaxed her to drink it.

She made a face, refusing to take a sip.

“Trust me, you’ll thank me tomorrow.”

“No.”

She was so stubborn sometimes. “Please? For me?”

“For you?” Her expression was guileless, it was almost his undoing, but Sam pushed on. “Yes, for me.”

She took the glass from him and downed it in one go, distaste clear on her expression.

The phone started ringing right when she put the glass down. Sam had to fish it from her purse. The caller ID read ‘Pamela Barnes.’

“Here,” Sam handed the phone to Y/N. “It’s for you.”

“Hello!” She sang. “Yeah, yeah… I’m home…”

Sam didn’t hang around for the rest of the conversation. He returned the glass to the kitchen and made more of the Sugar-salt solution in a bottle.

Y/N was idly playing with a lock of her hair.

“Can we go to bed now? Please?” She mumbled drowsily.

“You,” Sam stressed “are going to bed. Which one is your room?”

Sleepily, she pointed towards the door next to the kitchenette. He lifted her once more in his arm, thinking how bizarre all of this was as he walked towards the room. It felt nothing short of euphoric to hold her like this, like he was on some sort of wild once in a lifetime adventure, even if touching her like this used to be normal for him once upon a time. He gently laid her down on the bed. She stretched out on the sheets immediately, a smile on her lips.

He could have stared and stared. Sam decided to take one long look at her, memorising the exact color of her hair, the fullness of her lips and the rhythm of her breaths. Just as he turned to leave, Y/N’s hand shot out to grab the hem of his T-shirt.

“Why? Why did it happen to us?” She said, her face drawn in lines of anguish. “We were good people. You still are. Then, why?”

Sam took a deep breath. “Because life isn’t fair. You of all people should know that by this point. And I’ve hardly been a good person since.” 

“Shhhhh….” She put a finger to her lip. “You’re the best, Sam. You always have been.”

“Then why did you leave me? Why couldn’t you trust me enough to stay? Have enough faith in me to know that I could make it okay for us? I loved you more than anything, Y/N. And you left me anyway.” He knew full well that she wouldn’t remember a thing in the morning, she was barely even listening now. So how did it matter what he said?

“Don’t go,” she moaned. 

“Y/N… you know I can’t stay.”

“Please… Nothing’s right when you’re not here.”

In an odd twisted way, it was the truth. Nothing was right when she wasn’t with him.

“Please, Sam,” she sighed. “Don’t leave me. Promise me.”

He gave in. How could he not? “I promise,” he said finally. “I’ll stay tonight.” 

She smiled contentedly and her breathing evened out soon after.

Slowly, Sam disentangled his t-shirt from his grip.

In the bathroom, he washed his bundled up shirt, cleaning it completely, then used it to wash off whatever was left on his jeans and t-shirt. Thankfully, Y/N’s clothes hadn’t been spoilt and didn’t need any cleaning. The apartment had a beautiful balcony that overlooked the garden below. He hung his shirt on the railing to dry it in the breeze. 

Sam checked on Y/N once more under the guise of placing the water bottle next to her bed. She was splayed wildly now. The straps of her blouse had slid further down her arm, revealing the tops of her breasts. He looked away. As lightly as he could, Sam freed the covers from beneath her and drew them over her, tucking her comfortably underneath them. Then he made his way to the living room sofa, closing Y/N’s bedroom door after her. 

The sofa was much too small to accommodate him, but Sam managed to lie on his back, legs folded and body wedged between the two armrests. After a while of twisting and turning, he rested his head on one armrest and threw his legs over the other, staring at the apartment walls and decorations. Most of it was too delicate, like the filigree on the curtains and the carved screens dividing part of the kitchenette from the rest of the living room. That certainly wasn’t Y/N’s taste. Either it came with the apartment or her room mate had put it there. There were some things, however, that were distinctly Y/N- the flowers and plants in the balcony, the solid wood coffee stand and the classy oven. The little China decorating the kitchen bar must’ve been her grandmothers. Nothing… absolutely nothing in the house proved that he had ever played a part in her life. Sam decidedly curbed the disappointment and bitterness he felt.

So, she had moved on from him. Hadn’t the past month taught him as much? 

A month ago he wouldn’t have believed that he’d end up a room away from a very drunk Y/N. So close, yet so far. He closed his eyes, recalling how it felt to have her arms around his waist, feel the press of her body against his as he lifted her in his arms. He could live out the rest of his life holding onto those memories, even if it never happened again, even if she never remembered it…

“Who the fuck are you?”

Sam’s eyes snapped open. A girl was standing over him with a ferocious expression.

He sat up groggily, disoriented about his surroundings. Who was this girl?

“I asked who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my apartment?”

Sam groaned, blinking his eyes in the still dark room. “I’m Sam. I helped Y/N home last night.”

“Where’s she? Is she okay?” 

The shift in her tone was sudden, from angry to concerned.

“Yeah, she’s fine,” Sam yawned. “She just had too much to drink.”

“And how do you know her?”

“I’m her- “ It physically ached to not say it. “I’m her… friend.”

The girl, who Sam assumed was her roommate, Meg, raised an eyebrow. “Friend, huh? How come she’s never talked about you before?”

Because she doesn’t care anymore.

Suddenly Sam was very tired. “Look, I’ve known her since a long time. We lost touch a while ago. I met her at college.”

Meg didn’t seem very convinced. She harrumphed and crossed her arms.

“I’m going to head out, now that you’re back,” he said, standing up and straightening his back. It was completely screwed. He walked over to the balcony and retrieved his now dried shirt. Meg eyed it dubiously.

“You didn’t try anything with her, did you?”

Again, the irony of someone else being concerned that he of all people would try to harm Y/N twisted his mouth into a bitter smirk.

“Look, mister…” Meg started and Sam put his hands up. He was too exhausted to hold this argument. 

“I just put her to bed. That’s all,” he said. “Heads up, she has terrible hangovers. You might want to keep the bathroom accessible and the Advil ready.”

With that he stalked out of the room. 

It wasn’t a long walk to his home from there, barely even five minutes, but Sam’s head was buzzing with thoughts. Last night everything had been so hurried and he was the only one who could have helped her out. But what now?

He and Y/N had barely started talking. He still didn’t know what was going on in her head. Last night had changed all of that, at least for him. If it had been hard to not think about her before, it was damn well impossible now. She was consuming his every thought, shadowing every emotion. What if she remembered everything she had said last night? What if she’d actually meant those things?

“Don’t go” 

“Please… Nothing’s right when you’re not here.”

“Please, Sam, Don’t leave me. Promise me.”

Each time his name had fallen off her lips, it was like she was resurrecting his long dead heartbeat. He wanted to dare, he wanted to hope and believe that there was some chance.

But what if she didn’t remember anything at all? Sam knew that he would die inside if that happened. It was one thing to not feel hope, and another altogether to kill it with one's own hands. 

His mind was a cacophony of noises and emotions all warring against each other as he reached his house. On the door steps, sat a solitary figure, waiting for him.

“Jody?”

The sky was just starting to lighten. What was she doing here?

He frowned at her, wondering what on earth could have brought her here this early in the morning. She stared back evenly; there was none of the usual warmth in her eyes, instead they were full of distrust and disappointment.

“Jody, is everything okay?” 

“You tell me, Winchester,” she said, coming to stand right next to him, her stature severe.

“I-I don’t know what you mean.”

“Really?” She spat. “Don’t you think you’ve been acting differently? At first I thought, being by yourself was getting to you.”

“Jody, I seriously don’t understand.”

“Fine I’ll cut to the chase. Where were you last night?”

It was the last thing Sam had expected. He couldn't tell her the truth. Where would he even start with the truth? “I was-”

She raised her hand and Sam flinched at the hostile expression on her face. “Save it, Sam. I know exactly what you were doing last night. I saw you sitting on the bench outside the bar with that girl.”

Sam jerked upright.

“I’ve known you for years, Sam. Years. I taught you everything I knew. I’ve never been prouder of any student I’ve had and this is what you do with all that trust? This is how you abuse your power?”

Her words rang louder than they should have in Sam’s ears. “Jody-”

“Don’t even try to make excuses. At first, when I saw her in your office, I didn’t think anything of it. Sure, she looked close to tears, but a lot of freshmen are always anxious. But then I saw you in the library with her. The way you looked at Y/N? That’s not how a teacher looks at their student!” Jody looked disgusted. “And tonight? Y/N was clearly drunk, for Christ’s sake! How can you possibly justify the way you were holding her?”

“Because she’s my WIFE!” He shouted, breathing hard, feeling the heat coming off of his face. “I married her and I love her!” 

It was beyond cathartic to finally say those words out loud. Up until this point Sam hadn’t realised that since he had seen Y/N in his class, those very words had been strangling him, poisoning him. Now that he had finally said them, the strength in his legs gave away. He sat down on the steps with a thud.

Jody’s face had gone very white. “Sam…”

“Tonight was nothing more than me helping a girl who needed it. Nothing more than that,” he said through gritted teeth, blinking rapidly at the wetness on his lashes. “You know I respect you, Jody, but even you don’t get to tell me if I can hold my own wife.”

She sat down next to him, now at a complete loss of words. “Is this the same girl…?”

Sam nodded, unable to form words.

“Sam, I’m so sorry,” she said, drawing him close. “I didn’t know. You should have said something.”

“Said what?” He said through a thick throat, angry with himself for showing weakness now when he had held it together for so long. “That my wife who walked out on me years ago because she didn't trust me to save our marriage is suddenly back? As my student after six years? Is that what I should have declared when I didn’t even know if she wanted to see my face? Is that what I should’ve said?”

“Oh, you sweet boy. I’m so sorry,” Jody ran her hands over his shoulders. “Sorry that you’ve been suffering and sorry that I doubted you at all. You don’t need to say anything now. C’mere.”

Firmly she drew him towards her and threw her arms around his neck. Sam hugged back, closing his eyes tightly so that the tears rolled over into the cotton of her shirt.

“Shhhh…” she said. “It’s going to be alright.”

Sam didn’t know if there was any truth in her words, but he allowed himself to be comforted, allowed himself to draw some warmth from his oldest friend here. Allowed himself to start healing.

**************************  

A/N 2: *Wiggles eyebrows* Who all saw it coming? ;)

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[dindjarindiaries]

character: Javier Peña

part two of this prompt (You’re leaving for something dangerous and I can’t help but kiss you)

warnings: angst, blood, lots of swearing (Narcos nation y’all know), mentions of death, fluff

rating: R

masterlist

Trudging back into the embassy is a struggle for you. It’s taken everything in you not to hop in your car and follow Carrillo and Javier, just to make sure everything turns out okay. You have to remember that your job should come first—or, at least, that’s what you think Javier would tell you. Plus, your other partner’s still inside, and he’s probably wondering what the hell you were just doing.

As you expect, the moment you’re back in the office, Steve looks at you with a raised brow. “There you are,” he says, chuckling a bit as he crosses his arm. “Where the hell were you going in such a rush? Giving Javi a goodbye kiss?”

Your eyes widen at his words. How does he know? You soon realize by the shock on his face that it was simply irony, a joke that should’ve made you laugh and curse him out in denial—but your expression’s giving away the answer.

“Oh shit, you actually did, didn’t you?” Steve’s face betrays the amusement he feels. You know he’s been suspicious of the subtle romance brewing between the two of you, and now you’ve given him the satisfaction of acting out on it.

“Shut the fuck up,” you quip, managing a small smile as you keep walking over to your desk. “We have work to do, Murphy.” And people to keep safe, you add to yourself.

You know Steve takes his job seriously enough to be able to push the previous topic aside for a while as you standby on various radios. The minutes feel like hours as you sit there, shuffling through papers to pass the time. You’re able to do your job as well as you need to, but that shadow of fear over Javier’s safety is still able to cloud your mind. You can’t stop hearing the last words he’d said to you in your head, sounding so certain that everything would be okay. Why can’t I believe that?

You and Steve hear that the men have almost arrived, and you take a deep breath to compose yourself for what lies ahead. You barely get the air out, however, when someone bursts into the room, their eyes widened to twice their usual size. Recognizing them as personnel who deals with radio frequency intelligence, you stand at their abrupt entrance.

“It’s a setup,” they say, sounding as if they’re out of breath from their boisterous arrival. He rushes towards the radio you’re stationed near, tuning it in to a certain frequency. At once, you hear the fluent Spanish of one of Escobar’s men. “He’s saying that they know they’re almost there, and they’re all stationed in place!”

Fuck. Your entire body almost goes numb, your form freezing in disbelief.

“Shit,” Murphy snaps, standing up from his chair and reaching for his keys. “I’m telling the ambassador and getting some backup. Call Javi right now.”

You nod, reaching for your phone as you follow Steve out of the office. You pull up the antenna and dial the number, unable to ignore the shakiness in your hands as you hear it ring. “Come on, Javi, come on,” you mumble, continually hearing the phone ring. You wait outside of the ambassador’s office as Steve tells them the situation, following him again when you get the green light to go with backup.

“Peña,” you finally hear his voice answer. Your heart skips a beat, and the sound of his voice makes the reality of the situation settle in.

“Javi,” you breathe, staying close to Steve as you leave the embassy and head towards his car. “Thank God. Get the hell out of there.”

“What?” Javier remarks, his gruff voice suddenly full of concern. “What’s going on?”

“It’s a setup, Javi!” you inform him, looking over at Steve anxiously as you get into his car. He starts the engine and takes off moments later. “Our radio intel heard Escobar’s men talking about it! They know you’re coming!”

“Fuck.” You then hear Javier start talking in Spanish to Carrillo, evidently to inform him of the situation. You hear Carrillo’s voice start shouting in Spanish as he commands his men around.

“We’re coming with backup,” you assure him, earning a nod from Steve as he continues to speed along. “Just try to—.”

You’re cut off by the sound of utter chaos on Javier’s end of the phone. Your heart practically lodges into your throat when you hear the sounds of gunshots and glass shattering. “Fuck!” you hear Javier curse.

Unable to help yourself, you begin to panic. “Javi!” you yell, your voice almost breaking in its strain. “Get the fuck out of there!”

“What’s happening?” Steve questions, looking between you and the road with wide eyes. You can’t bring yourself to answer him yet.

“Javi, we’re not far away—just try to get the hell out!” When he doesn’t answer, you call for him again. “Javier!”

The chaos on his end continues, and you’re about to yell for him again when his voice rings in your ear again. He says your name, but pauses to curse as the sound of more glass shattering appears. “I just want you to know that I—shit!—I—!”

The connection goes out. Your eyes are brimming with tears, and you scream a curse at the phone as you throw it against the floor of Steve’s car.

“What the fuck is goin’ on?” Steve demands, his grip tightening around the wheel at your utter panic and despair.

“They got ambushed, Steve!” Your voice is cracking in fear, yet you manage to keep yourself from crying. “They opened fire!”

“Shit,” Steve curses, stepping on the gas with more force as he radios in the news to the forces accompanying you.

You close your eyes as you lean your head against the headrest, trying to calm your shallow breathing. Is he dead? Did I just have to listen to the man I love die while he was trying to tell me how he feels?

You feel Steve’s hand rest on your shoulder firmly, and you open your eyes to see him giving you a reassuring look whenever he’s not watching the road. “It’s gonna be okay. They won’t kill a DEA agent. We’ll get him out of there.”

You shake your head, clenching one of your hands into a fist as you stare out of the windshield. He hadn’t heard the phone cut off at such an abrupt moment. He hadn’t known that Javier was so certain of his death that he tried to tell you something you know he’d struggle with in any other circumstance. He hadn’t even known just how much you care for this man.

Suddenly, Steve pulls the car to the side of the back road you’re driving on, letting the troops’ vans fly ahead. He follows after them, taking a moment to look over at you again. “We’re closing in. They’re gonna engage.”

Your heart continues to practically fly through your chest as you nod, swallowing hard as he continues into the chaos. The sound of gunshots comes closer and closer, but just as you pull up behind the vans that’d parked and unloaded with troops, they disappear. The backup must’ve easily ridded of whatever was left of Escobar’s men—and that leaves you to think of only one thing.

As soon as Steve puts the car into park, you push your door open, running past the vans. You hear Steve calling for you, but you don’t listen to him. You can’t. You have to know what’s happened—if he made it. You stop, however, when you see the wreckage in front of you.

Dozens of bodies are littered on the ground, the vans once full of Carrillo’s men now sporting bullet holes and shattered windows. The troops you’ve brought walk around, searching to see who’s dead and who’s wounded. You try to ignore the bile that’s risen in your throat as you scan for the car Javier had gotten into before, hoping with all your heart that you won’t have to see a limp body in its place.

Everything stops when you see one of the troops helping someone walk in your direction—Javier. He’s covered in blood, which you hope isn’t his own, and an expression of dazed disbelief is stuck on his face. You can’t help yourself from acting on your first instinct.

“Javi!” you call out, your voice breaking as you try to close the distance between you. At the sound of your voice, Javier lifts his gaze from where it’s been staring at his feet, and you can see the utter relief he feels at your presence. You take him from the trooper, wrapping his arm around your neck as you keep walking him away from the bloody scene. Once you have him in the safety of your backup’s blockade, you let his arm fall, instead taking his face between your hands. You notice a cut trailing across his cheek, likely from broken glass, but feel relieved to see no other sign of injuries. Your heart breaks as you observe the way his dark eyes lack their usual shine, his brow furrowed in utter distress. “I thought you were dead. Are you okay?”

Javier just keeps gazing at you, and you watch as he begins to break apart in front of you. His dark eyes brim with tears before he buries his face in your shoulder, holding you close to him. You pull him even closer, resting a hand on the back of his head as you close your eyes. He’s evidently in shock of what’s happened, and knowing him from all these years of work, he feels a heavy weight of responsibility for the men who’ve died. Your other hand rubs his back as his chest heaves a few times, hoping it can somewhat comfort him. After many long moments spent standing there, Javier lifts his face back up, looking down at you with that grim expression of guilt.

“I got them killed,” he murmurs, his usually gruff voice sounding utterly weak. “Innocent men. With families.”

“No, Javi, you didn’t,” you assure him, running a thumb over his non-cut cheek. “Escobar did. You were just trying to do your job, and so were they. We all know the consequences of this job.” You swallow hard, remembering the way you’d just felt. “I thought I was gonna have to face them myself.”

Javier brings one of his hands to your face, trying to give you comfort. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, and you realize he’s thinking deeply about something. “When I was talking to you in that car, and even before I left, when we… you know… I—I realized that there’s something I need to tell you and I should’ve told you a long time ago.”

You smile a bit up at him. “I know, Javi.” You’re pleased to see some of the usual light twinkle in his gaze again. “And I do, too.” You get a small smile out of him at that, his eyes wrinkling up a bit as he does so. Your heart flips in your chest, and you suddenly remember the exchange you’d had earlier. “Speaking of that… there’s something I was saving for you.”

And the last thing you see before you pull Javier’s face to yours again is the smile that continues to grow over his lips, reminding you that even in the midst of the darkness you’re constantly surrounded by, you can manage to find some kind of light—and that’s something you’ll never let Escobar take away from you.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 259: Jakku General Hospital

Previously on BnHA: We chilled with Hawks and Twice, who filled us in on the various different facets of Pliff’s plan to fuck over the world. For starters there are like a dozen new bad guys who are each heading different Pliff regiments, just in case anyone forgot that this is a literal army we’re dealing with here. Hawks also reminded us of the fact that Twice can clone basically any one of the bad guys as many times as he wants now, so that’s a nicely terrifying thought to sit and mull over. We learned that once Tomura is done powering up, the villains intend to attack all over the country simultaneously and basically destroy society as we know it. Oh and also kill all the heroes of course. But I think we already knew that. Anyway, so the one bright side in all of this is that Twice naively let it slip to Hawks where Tomura was currently undergoing his Frankenstein procedure. And so the chapter ended with basically all of the heroes in Japan launching a surprise attack in the mountains of Kyoto, while the kids waited on standby to help with the evacuations. And I know that doesn’t sound very safe, but... well... shit.

Today on BnHA: A quiet morning in the Kyoto suburb of Jakku. All is peaceful -- or so it seems. Little does the elderly CEO of Jakku General Hospital (a stand-up citizen, philanthropist, and caretaker of orphans all across the country) know that lying in wait just outside his doors is a group of wicked and immoral HEROES ready to -- okay lol you know what, I can’t. Not sure what I was really going for there anyway. So! Meanwhile in the woods outside the ol’ villain hotel, a second group of heroes led by Edgeshot and featuring several child heroes in training, including KAMINARI WHO WAS LITERALLY JUST BORN YESTERDAY AND SHOULD BE AT HOME IN HIS NURSERY WATCHING PAW PATROL AND NOT OUT HERE IN THE WOODS WHERE HE IS IN TERRIBLE DANGER, is gathered and ready to attack the League’s main forces. So things kick off with Death Arms apprehending the traitorous Slidin’ Go, while elsewhere the heroes bust into Jakku General Hospital to capture Ujiko. Show of hands, who here thinks this is going to go smoothly? ...Yep. Yeah. That’s what I thought.

okay guys, before we get started I’m gonna answer a couple of relevant asks from last week. first:

I’m almost hesitant to talk about this, because I’m paranoid that Viz and co. could pounce on these sites again at any moment, and so I feel like this sort of thing is better left to private messages and discord servers. but I guess one little mention of it won’t hurt. so the site currently doing the scanlations is readheroacademia.com, which has been around for a while. and there are several other sites which also host the new chapters and have all of the old chapters archived as well. kissmanga is a big one which I know a lot of people use, but my personal favorite is readmha.com (idk, I just feel like its layout is... cleaner? if that makes any sense)

also do keep in mind that all of these sites are pretty ad-heavy, so I wouldn’t recommend visiting without a good adblocker at the ready (I generally use Chrome on both desktop and mobile, and have uBlock Origin and Disable HTML5 Autoplay enabled on my desktop browser). that being said, I’ve never had any issues myself

good question! I was actually thinking about doing a weekly follow-up post on Sundays after the official Viz translation comes out, but obviously I did not end up doing that last week lol. so now I’m thinking it might be easier for me to just post any subsequent thoughts/remarks in the following week’s chapter recap, since I’m already committed to doing those anyway and so it makes it harder to flake out

so that said, my one follow-up thought about chapter 258 is that the fan scanlation seems to have mistranslated that whole “AFO’s resurgence” part. in Viz’s version Hawks was instead saying that the PLF’s plans would “throw the world into chaos and enthrone Shigaraki atop the rubble.” and he then referred to Tomura as the second coming of All for One. sooooo, pretty much exactly the opposite of the other translation lol. this is a big blow to my continued effort to search for evidence that AFO is gonna come back and be the final villain, but I am still not deterred. we will continue to fight on until AFO either actually dies, or does come back like I keep predicting he will! please try to work with me a little better here, AFO

one other thing, instead of “New World Movement”, Viz used the same “Vanguard Action” regiment name that was used during the forest training camp arc. Caleb said that the wording (“kaibyaku koudou”) was exactly the same. so I’ll be using that too moving forward. I guess that means that Pliff is still on the menu though, pity

anyway so let’s get started now

so it’s a house... no, holy shit, wait, it’s the house!

THE NEW TODOROKI HOUSE OH MY GOD. ahhhhh lol what the fuck is this. Todofeels coming up to slap me in the face out of nowhere?! here I thought we were gonna just dive right into the Shigaraki raid and the resulting carnage

I’m... not really sure how I feel about this? like, right now I’m not trusting anything Horikoshi does lol. “quiet beginnings” you say? this is just a sneaky new way to bring me more pain. isn’t it

(ETA: I guess “quiet beginnings” also summarizes the other activities of this chapter pretty well. also is that Natsuo’s girlfriend??! at first I thought it was Rei, but those look like quirk-related ears? so Natsu then really is living his best college life huh.)

oh hey everyone it’s a brand new character!

(ETA: wait, is he actually quirkless? or is that just another LIE. you big LIAR.)

I’m so curious what the kanji is for this latest name. can’t wait for Caleb to enlighten us. I wonder if it’s “shi” as in “death”, just like with Tomura/AFO’s name. and no idea at all what “Maruta” means. basically I just want to know if there’s some pun or something, since yet again he’s obviously using a fake alias here

(ETA: so someone informed me in an anon ask that this is a reference to Unit 731, which was a Japanese unit that undertook lethal human experimentation during WWII. basically the people who conducted the experiments referred to their human subjects as “logs” to dehumanize them. and the Japanese word for log is, you guessed it, maruta. so that’s an extremely powerful and disturbing association for this name, and it’s obvious now why Horikoshi went with it.

that said, the anon said that some people were really upset by this name choice, and while I guess I can understand that, I also think that’s kind of the point, though? like, it’s supposed to be horrifying. anyone with a human conscience and any kind of empathy whatsoever should be horrified. and atrocities like that shouldn’t be forgotten, and I actually think that for someone born and raised and living in Japan like Horikoshi to be making a reference to this is fairly ballsy. because my understanding is that, like a lot of Japan’s other war crimes, it was more or less hushed up by the government afterwards, and isn’t really taught in schools or mentioned in history textbooks other than in passing. so while I can understand people maybe finding it disrespectful, I don’t think it was meant as such. it seems to me that if anything, Horikoshi wants people to look into it and be educated about it. and again, obviously he’s associating it here with easily the most reprehensible and morally sickening character in the entire series, which is fitting I think. anyway so those are my thoughts on that.)

anyway, guess what guys? looks like we’ve got ourselves another Star Wars reference! let’s just hope this particular Jakku doesn’t wind up as wrecked as its namesake when all’s said and done. it’s gonna be a loooooong day

you guys. Maruta is such a nice guy

he’s a philanthropist! and he runs orphanages all over the country! wow! what a great person!! and nursing homes as well, where residents presumably die on the regular (of old age and other natural causes no doubt), at which point they are presumably cremated, and I wonder who runs the cremation facilities? I’m sure whoever it is is definitely on the up-and-up

and “quirk-based community healthcare.” I wonder if they’re selective about who they treat based on what their quirks are. all the better to make sure people with particularly strong and/or unique quirks get the specialized treatment they need!

anyway. see, this is more like what I expected. some super dark shit, and finally some answers to a few long-established questions as well, but not without a price. that price being the churning feeling in my gut right now lol. oh man. well I just ate, so that might have something to do with it. but I tell ya, nothing makes you vaguely queasy like trying your best not to think about a massive conspiracy to kidnap and torture innocent children in the pursuit of ultimate power! so anyways I sure do hate this!

fffff like, really hate it. I HATE IT SO MUCH

[reluctantly goes ahead and slides AFO down one notch on my list of people I need to see die the most] well there it is. we have a new champion

so now we’re cutting to a hero briefing!

y’all is that THE SHERIFF. PLEASE. IT’S BEEN SO LONG. BUDDY I MISSED YA

so Nao says he had one of his guys go undercover to investigate, and they found that this hospital’s blueprints included a giant suspicious unlabeled place that nobody knows anything the fuck about

oh my god. you guys. forget Tomura, could that also be where they’re keeping the Noumus?? omg. omg omg omg. omgggggggggggg. omg

-- AHHHHHHHHHH

IF THE NEXT PANEL ISN’T JUST A CHORUS OF EVERYONE IN THE ROOM ALL SAYING “WHAT THE FUCK” SIMULTANEOUSLY, I’M GONNA DEMAND SOME ANSWERS, BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU, HAVING ALREADY KNOWN ALL ABOUT POOR JOHN-KUN AND ALL THIS FUCKED UP SHIT MYSELF, I STILL AUDIBLY SWORE OUT LOUD. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M GONNA DO IT AGAIN TOO, BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK

come on, is Pixie Bob the only one of you here with normal human reactions or what?!

RIGHT?! YOU ALL ARE LOOKING AT A TINY MOUND OF FLESH WITH VEINY BULGING EYES JUST OGGLING BLANKLY OUT FROM ITS EXPOSED BRAINS. NOT TO MENTION IT’S GOT TWO OF WHAT VAGUELY RESEMBLE EARS, BUT WHAT I’M PRETTY SURE ARE ACTUALLY NOSES?? AND A SEVERED SPINAL CORD TAIL DANGLING OUT FROM BEHIND. ALL OF WHICH IS PLASTERED TOGETHER LIKE A LUMPY MOLD OF CLAY ATOP TWO CHILD-SIZED LEGS, which are wearing fucking sneakers, with fucking velcro and shit. fuck. fuck

lol Nao

oh yes, not difficult at all. I’m sure he’ll come along real quietly. hey, let me know how that one works out, okay

“we have the trauma of Hosu and Kamino still haunting us.” thanks for that reminder. gonna have another city to add to that list real soon aren’t we. preemptive r.i.p. Jakku

oh man you guys. can you feel this tension building up

interesting how he says “destiny.” I wonder if that’s the actual dialogue. at any rate this overconfidence is terrifying and I would really like for you all to stop jinxing shit my dudes

-- WHAT DID I JUST SAY

holy shit. please tell me this is a separate group from the Endeavor group we saw at the end of the last chapter

but that doesn’t make any sense though, because this group has Midnight and Kamui, two of their deadliest and most efficient capture specialists. not to mention Edgeshot the literal ninja who can break into anywhere. so this really should be the vanguard here based on what I’m seeing, but if that’s the case why are the eighteen-year-old Tamaki and the sixteen-year-old Toadette right there with them?? can we not, you guys. can we not

fucking shit. at least they’ve got Ms. Joke there too to back them up. if we actually get to see her quirk in action I can die happy. and so, presumably, will the villains

so the “hospital team” (is that the Endeavor team??) said they’re gonna eliminate the villains’ warping ability, which presumably means John-kun. do they even know it’s him that does it?? they don’t seem to actually know who Ujiko fucking is so I have my doubts?

on the bright side though, it seems like this Midnight team is actually going to be raiding the mansion, and won’t be involved in the hospital raid. but on the less bright side, the mansion is arguably almost as dangerous. :/ that’s where Twice is!! and probably most of the League! but at least they don’t have a dozen Noumus in the basement just waiting to be unleashed

god. people, if we don’t get moving on this action soon I am going to give myself a damn heart attack. this is way too much suspense for a chill Friday night

son of a bitch that guy behind Toadette is Honenuki, I just realized. what the fuck, U.A. ?? “hey kids! guess what! we’re going on a field trip!!” ...

-- NO!!!!!!

IT WILL NOT BE ALL RIGHT!! DON’T YOU LIE TO THEM!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!! Tamaki, fine, okay, he’s experienced, and arguably more powerful than half the people there. Toadette, she’s just a kid, but she also tried to kill Tokoyami back during the joint training arc and I’m still not sure how I feel about that so whatever! Honenuki is probably the most responsible person in this entire group so fine. Tokoyami needs to be there to have a lot of angst about Hawks

but Kaminari. Kaminari fucking Denki. no. no, sir. excuse the fuck out of me. how fucking dare you. he is a five-year-old boy in the body of a high-voltage adolescent. and he’s maybe, just maybe, more powerful than anyone else in this fucking group but that still doesn’t give you the right to put this little baby boy RIGHT ON THE FRONT FUCKING LINES!! holy shit! HIS BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS!! I DON’T LIKE ANY OF THIS

OH MY GOD

RIGHT?!?!? omg omg omg omg omg

he’s literally wailing “I miss class 1-A” so loudly that it’s echoing all the way through the forest. see now that’s why you DON’T TAKE KAMINARI WITH YOU ON YOUR SECRET STEALTH ATTACK MISSION!! would somebody please point me towards whoever’s fucking idea this was so that I can go kick their fucking ass please and thank you

and here are the rest of them oh my god

Momo, Mina, Jirou, and Kiri at the forefront. okay, fine. this, I do like

so Edgeshot says they’ve surrounded the villains on all sides. man, no wonder they’re so worried about their warping capabilities. this is basically their one chance to capture all the bad guys in one fell swoop. I guess it makes more sense why all their capture specialists are in Edgeshot’s group, then

now I’m starting to wonder exactly what task lies in store for the Wonder Trio’s group, though? because they said evacuation, but is that really all there is to it? it’s no secret that Bakugou, Deku, and Todoroki are the three strongest interns they have. so you’re really expecting me to believe that they put baby Denki there on the front lines and yet plan on keeping their heaviest hitters in reserve? Nao is there more to this plan that you’re not telling us

oh shit Endeavor wants to know where his adopted chicken son is at

it genuinely does warm my heart to see Endeavor worrying about Hawks. I’m glad Hawks has at least one person out there who actually gives a shit about him. even if that person is mister father of the year here. the plot thickens

I wonder if Enji would actually die to save Hawks, if it came to that. which I’m not saying it would. but we all know some fucking shit is about to go down so I’m just having these thoughts here okay!

Nao always looks so tired nowadays. man

so he clearly does know who Endeavor’s talking about, though. one of these days I’d like to get a clearer understanding of what exactly Naomasa’s rank is and how high he is in terms of clearance, because the idea that he’s actually privy to more information than the number one fucking hero is kind of bonkers to me, ngl. this guy is literally just a detective, right?? not even a commissioner or anything. and yet he’s involved in everything. I used to suspect that he might be the traitor lol, and while I’m pretty sure by now that’s not the case, I’m still curious as to exactly what his deal is. does he even have a quirk?? anyways

so now Endeavor is hmphing and stomping off, and meanwhile there are some closeups of Mic and Aizawa

is that a whistle. do you guys think Mic could literally kill a man with his voice. shit. why do I kind of want to see it happen

as for Endeavor, I wonder if he was the one who made sure that his son and his friends weren’t on the front lines with the rest of them. sometimes it’s good to have some influence in these things

looooooool as if on cue

well. that sure doesn’t sound like he intends to keep them out of harm’s way. does he really have that much faith in them??

serious question, why exactly are all of the heroes seemingly so confident that this is going to work? it scares me because it makes me feel like in spite of Hawk’s intel they still don’t have a clue what they’re truly up against

so now we’re cutting to some random street somewhere and WOULD YOU LOOK WHO IT FUCKING IS

Slidin’ Go Suck An Egg. oh how I hate this man

look at him

I hate his stupid face!

OH SHIT

TRAFFIC CONE MAN, ARE YOU FINALLY GOING TO REDEEM YOURSELF FOR NOT RESCUING KACCHAN ON THAT DAY TWO YEARS AGO BECAUSE YOU WERE AFRAID OF A LITTLE SLUDGE? BECAUSE I’M HERE FOR IT! IF YOU WANT TO JUST GO AHEAD AND SNAP HIS NECK, I WILL TURN THE OTHER WAY AND ACT LIKE I DIDN’T SEE, I PROMISE

wow, Burnin’s team really is just evacuating people

I mean they’re obviously going to run into a Noumu, and just like that they’ll be in more danger than anyone, but at least for now it really does seem like the minds behind this raid wanted to keep them relatively out of danger. so yeah, for now I’m gonna chalk that up to Endeavor’s influence that they’re here rather than in the forest with the rest of their class

and here comes the hospital team!

well that answers my question about Nao’s rank. so he’s not even a chief. that really is fucking ridiculous but whatever

and why do I feel like this poor undercover subordinate is mere seconds away from becoming the first casualty in what I think is about to become the most violently snafued situation we’ve seen in this manga to date. like this shit is going to make Kamino look like the fucking state fair. fuck

...

I really wish I could believe that he was about to go down and it really was going to be just that easy

HERE WE GO!!

(ETA: so then they do know that he’s the guy who made the Noumu? including the one that nearly took him out in Kyushu? and they’re still acting like this is going to be a walk in the park? ?? what??)

knock knock, who’s there, JUSTICE

YESSSSSSS

(ETA: sure hope Endeavor’s light here doesn’t go summoning any darkness. welp.)

YOU’RE UNDER ARREST FOR CRIMES OF BEING TOO HORRIBLE TO EVEN FUCKING CONTEMPLATE, LET ALONE JOKE ABOUT! YOU SON OF A BITCH, GET FUCKED

oh my god. we’re really just gonna end it like that. well I guess next chapter we can all play a fun game of “let’s all count the pages until everything goes horribly wrong.” won’t that be a laugh. 10 to 1 the Noumu really are in the secret room and they’re all gonna be set loose by next week’s cliffhanger. remind me to have “Into the Trap” by John Williams cued up and ready to go lol

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

Flatbush & Atlantic: part iv

And here’s part iv! I’d love it if y’all would reblog, this is a work I’m really proud of and the more people it’s shared with the better! My inbox is always open, and I’d love to hear your thoughts, even if it’s just “AAAAAH.” Enjoy!

part i part ii part iii

part iv

December 12

Cass grimaced, looking over at the tab on her laptop that had the Islanders game open. They were down 3-1 late in the third, and it didn’t look like they were going to be able to pull it off. It was the last game of a ten day roadie, and they had lost all but one against the Red Wings right at the beginning. And the Wings were 10-21, so it wasn’t even a confidence booster. To make matters worse, Mat was on a points drought; he hadn’t gotten an assist, let alone scored, since the first game of the trip, a 4-1 loss to the Blue Jackets. They also were playing a few players down, an MCL sprain and the ever-vague “lower body injury” kept the team from being at full strength. 

As the game came to a close, she didn’t even know if Mat wanted to talk to her. His relentless dedication was one of her favorite things about him, but it also led him to take things way too personally and be way too hard on himself even when  — especially when  — the situation didn’t call for it. He was probably beating himself up as the boys headed back into the locker room, being short with his teammates and trainers and whatever poor sports reporter had been sent to ask “how they planned on snapping this unfortunate streak” in the post-game interviews. He’d never be deliberately mean or unkind to anyone, but just like anyone, her boyfriend got stressed and overwhelmed and didn’t always know how to deal with it. I saw the game, she texted him, I’m proud of you. Call me if you want. 

Dec. 15 (wed)

Mat had barely spoken to her since the return from the roadie, and it was starting to get on her nerves. Texts were responded with single words, if they were answered at all. They were supposed to have visited the Met yesterday , but that hadn’t happened either. He had cancelled, saying that “some team thing came up” and he wouldn’t be able to make it. Barely apologized. And what pissed Cass of more than almost anything was that she wanted to help, she wanted so badly for him to just talk to her, she wouldn’t judge him or make him feel like he was a shitty player or a shitty person, but she couldn’t do that if he wasn’t even picking up her damn calls. Who do you talk to when there’s almost nobody in the world who understands the position you’re in? 

Maybe that was just it. She’d go to the people who did understand. Paige had added her to the WAGs Whatsapp group the week prior, and from everything she had gathered so far, it was exactly the sort of place to go for advice. Cass pulled up the chat, torn between not wanting to seem like she was oversharing but not really sure what else she could do. Hey, guys, she started. Mat’s been taking the losing streak pretty personally (as I’m sure a lot of your guys are) and seems to be pulling away. Any advice? I don’t want to push him but I know it’ll get worse if he just keeps it all bottled inside. Clicking send, Cass sighed, leaning back in her desk chair and trying desperately to study for her Environmental Law final. 

At some point after midnight, she closed her books and laptop with frustration. The test wasn’t until next week, but she wasn’t going to get anywhere trying to study as distracted as she was. She grabbed her phone, heading to the bathroom to brush her teeth and check the group chat. No fewer than six of the women had written back, some of whom she hadn’t even met, with long, sympathetic paragraphs overflowing with advice. She read them all, touched by the time, effort, and care that everyone has put into making her feel just a little less anxious. But the overwhelming message was clear. Find balance, but don’t let him blow you off. Be a support system, but you’re not his therapist. And repeated again and again, Talk to him. 

She tapped out a message before she turned her bedside lamp off, hoping that with morning would finally come a proper response from Mat. Can we meet for coffee tomorrow morning? You know as well as I do that we need to talk. I’ll be at Donahue’s at 8. 

Read: 12:23 AM

Dec. 16 (thurs)

Her foot tapped nervously, hands clasped tightly around the cup in front of her and beanie pulled over her head, curls poking out from under. He had read the text, but Cass had no clue if Mat was actually going to show up or not. He hadn’t responded. It was ten past eight, and Cass was just about ready to give up and head to school early. She had just put her laptop back in her bag when she caught Mat out of the corner of her eye. He gave her a small smile, equal parts nervous and almost  — bothered? “Hey,” he said softly, unzipping his puffer coat and sliding into the chair opposite her. “You said you wanted to talk?”

Suddenly, the whole elaborate speech Cass had prepared, about letting her in and supporting him and communication, left her mind. “Yeah.”

“So, talk,” Mat said, with a slight edge to his voice. 

She looked down at her cup. “I get that you’re disappointed about the losing streak. I get it and I’m sorry that you’re not doing as well as you hoped —”

“I don’t think you do get it, Cassidy —”

She cut him off. “Let me finish, Mathew. I’m sorry that you’re not doing as well as you hoped, and I do get how shitty it is when you know you’re putting in the time and effort and practice and it doesn’t seem like anything’s working, but you’ve barely talked to be about any of it.”

“‘Cause I don’t want to,” Mat mumbled. 

Cass leaned back in her chair. “And I get that. I get if you don’t want to talk to me. But you’re not talking to anyone. You’re not talking to Tito, I asked him and he said you’ve been just as closed-off with the team. You’re not talking to any of the other guys. And I’d bet you’re not talking to your parents or your sister either.”

No one gets it!” Mat said in frustration, a little louder than was necessary. “I go through so much shit and have so much pressure on me and…” He trailed off for a minute. “I don’t want to disappoint the team, I don’t want to disappoint the fans. I don’t want to disappoint my family. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Everyone had their ups and downs,” Cass started.

“And I get that,” Mat said, holding his head in his hands and looking down at her coffee cup. The same white-and-blue one he had gotten her two months earlier. “But it’s hard. It’s hard when I’m feeling like the fans aren’t getting what they deserve when they come to games, and like I’m not worth what they’re paying me right now. I know you want to, but you don’t get it.”

Cass looked away, turning her eyes to the street. The sidewalk was dusted in white, turning to slush every time someone walked past. It was the first snow of the year. “Then help me to.”

He breathed out, finally relaxing a little. “It’s not that easy.”

“I want to help you,” Cass said, leaning over the table and clasping his hands in hers. “But you can’t keep freezing me out like this, chou. It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to me.”

Mat closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. “I just don’t want this to become your thing too. You shouldn’t have to deal with this. I know right now kind of sucks for me but that’s just how it is sometimes, you know? It’s just how it is and I have to get over it. I have to get over myself.”

“Mat, your well-being and mental health isn’t something you can just ‘get over.’ Or even something you should. I’m not a professional, and if you need one that’s something we can find,” Mat wrinkled his face, and Cass was pointedly reminded how often men’s mental health was ignored, “but I’m here for you to talk to. Whatever you need, I’m here for you.”

He ran his thumb over her hand. “But you didn’t sign up for this.”

Cas shook her head. “Mathew Barzal. This is exactly what I signed up for. I’m pretty smart,” he cracked a smile, “and I knew what I was getting myself into. Dating someone with such an unconventional job and schedule can be stressful, and frustrating, and confusing for everyone involved. But I chose it, Mat. I chose you.”

Dec. 21 (mon)

For once, Cass wasn’t headed straight home after work, or headed to a game, or — God forbid — back to the library to study. Her last final had been that morning, and she was free for three blessed weeks until the New Year. Which meant that she didn’t have to worry about turning in another essay or memorizing another case, which meant that she was more than free to go to the team Christmas party with Mat later that night. He had somehow been coerced into hosting, and Cass had promised to get to his apartment early to help set up. He was mostly done by the time she got there, so “setting up” turned out to mean setting up the bar and putting out snacks, Cass mixing up an enormous pitcher of her favorite sangria, a signature standby from her sorority’s Wine Wednesdays. 

Mat had even put up a proper Christmas tree, and Cass smiled at the piney scent as she headed down the hallway, bag in hand. “Cool if I change in your room?” She shouted down the hall at Mat, who was currently engrossed in pouring a bowl full of chocolate-covered pretzels. “Yeah, go for it,” he called back. Cass didn’t have a lot of excuses to dress up, but liked taking advantage when the occasion called for it. Her dress was short, red satin with a slit on one side and silver embellishment on the other. She used his bathroom to touch up her makeup, swiping her burgundy lipstick on and double-checking her brows. Cass shoved her work clothes back into her backpack, tossing it onto the plush armchair in the corner of his room. 

She walked down the hallway, which was pretty much bare save for a few pictures of his friends from home and one with his family on the day he was drafted. She was kind of surprised that Mat owned a single picture frame. Cass sat on the couch in his living room, looking at the Christmas tree. There were one or two Islanders ornaments, a paper Santa that she assumed had been a kindergarten art project, a photo of his family around the fireplace that looked like it had been taken a year or two earlier. Mat wrapped his arms around her, hugging her from behind. “Whatcha looking at, babe?” 

She smiled. “Your ornaments. They’re really pretty.”

“Not  as pretty as you.”

The door rang, Mat kissing her quickly before walking across the room to open it. A group of the younger players piled in, mostly rookies and call-ups from Bridgeport. One of them had brought along a keg of beer, and Cass had to fight back a laugh while showing him to the kitchen and setting it on the counter. He was just out of college, she’d stake her life on it. By the time she’d secured the keg and started getting people set up with drinks, the living room had started to fill up. “What can I get you?” She asked Paige, who had left Tito with the boys by the tree and made her way over to Cass. 

“What are my chances of getting a Moscow mule?” Paige asked. “I don’t want to be a difficult guest, but,”

“Very good,” Cass said, turning around and grabbing the vodka and ginger ale. “We don’t have the proper mugs though, so don’t be complaining.” One shot of vodka. Half a can of ginger ale. Squeeze a lime. She had bartended for a little over a year when she first moved to New York, and it was still one of her favorite things to do for friends. Mixing herself a whiskey sour, Cass wandered back over to Mat and Tito. 

---

It was well past eleven and the party was nowhere near stopping. While everyone was conscious of the noise level — for the most part, she had seen a few of the guys being reminded to use their inside voices — the conversations were still going and the drinks were still flowing. Cass had passed the tipsy point somewhere around 10:30, though she was nowhere near as hammered as some of the team. Or their dates, for that matter. She was cuddled up against Mat on the couch, heels long having since been abandoned and nursing what she was pretty sure was a vodka sprite with way too much vodka and way too little sprite. Whatever, Cass thought ruefully as she tipped the last of it back. It gets the job done. 

Mat was a touchy drunk, Cass had learned, and one hand seemed to have taken up permanent residence at her waist while he sipped a beer with the other. “What do you think Christmas will be like for you?” Cass asked softly, tilting up her head to look at him. “Since you won’t be with your family.” Mat knew it was a possibility, but he was still pretty upset when he looked at the schedule and realized that his family wasn’t going to be able to fly out to spend the holidays with him, and he didn’t have enough time to go back out to Vancouver. 

Her parents had extended the invitation for Mat to spend Christmas with them when she had been back up for Thanksgiving; he couldn’t make Christmas Day, but was able to carve out two days to visit. He smiled at her, leaning down and kissing the top of her head. “You’re cute when you’re worried, y’know that?” Cass scrunched up her nose. “It’s not like I’m going to be alone. I’m doing Christmas with Beau, since Paige’ll be out of town too, and some of the guys usually plan a nice dinner thing for anyone who’s not with family.”

“That sounds nice,” Cass noted, still feeling a pang of guilt. 

“Hey,” Mat said, noticing her distraction. He sat up, turning her face to look towards him. “I’ll be fine. I’m a grown-ass man.” 

Cass cocked an eyebrow. “Sure about that?”

Mat giggled. “Okay, okay, fine. Point taken. But yeah, it would be nice to have my family, but I kind of do, y’know?” He said, nodding around to the guys. Cass could have sworn that in that moment, her heart melted. “And I want you to spend time with yours. I’d be kind of a shitty boyfriend if I didn’t want you to.” Mat leaned in, and his lips brushed against hers so that they were almost touching but not quite, hesitantly. Cass pressed against him, her fingers finding purchase in the baby hairs at the nape of his neck. She loved that he was letting his hair grow out. He tasted like whiskey and tequila and some cheap beer that she was pretty sure was Natty Light, but she couldn’t have cared less, just like she ignored the not-so-subtle wolf-whistles from the teammates. 

Everyone started clearing out around midnight, a few staying to help stuff cans and bottles into trash bags that were left unceremoniously in the kitchen to be dealt with the next morning. Cass yawned, rubbing her eyes. She had sobered up some, but was still well past the legal limit. “Whatcha doing?” Mat asked, seeing her about to order an Uber.

“Calling a ride?” Cass questioned.

“Why don’t you just stay?” Mat asked haltingly. “If you want.” Cass had obviously been over to his place before, multiple times, but hadn’t stayed the night yet. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him, because she did, but it was something that was a big step for her. That meant a lot to her. But it was late, and she was sleepy, and Mat did make a really good pillow. “Okay,” she conceded. 

Mat smiled, taking her hand and leading her back to his bedroom. He rummaged through his dresser, grabbing an old Thunderbirds t-shirt and athletic shorts and handing them to her as she walked into his ensuite. “I don’t have stuff to get your makeup off, but there is soap?” He offered. 

Cass laughed. “I brought some wipes, but thank you. That’s really sweet.” She changed and took her makeup off, finding a spare toothbrush in one of the drawers and brushing her teeth. She popped out after a few minutes. Mat was already changed, dressed in pyjama pants and a comfy-looking heathered grey top. “The red toothbrush is mine now.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he responded, cracking a smile. A few minutes later, she had claimed the left side of the bed and he had come back from the bathroom. They were lazily kissing, Mat’s hand just barely brushing the skin on her waist from where the shirt had ridden up. Cass was still tipsy and she knew Mat wouldn’t try anything, not like this, but God, it was nice just to feel close to him. After a few minutes he pulled back, brushing a piece of hair behind her ear that had fallen out of the loose messy bun she had thrown together. “What’s running through your head, babe?” He murmured. 

Cass looked down, biting her lip. She was usually good with emotions, good with communication, but something about Mat made her heart skip a beat and brain go into overdrive all at once, and somehow she was convinced that it was the best feeling in the world. “I’m just really happy right now,” she breathed. “It’s Christmas, with our friends, and you...It’s everything I could want.” 

Mat gave the softest smile. “You, with me, right now? That’s all I could want, Cass.”

Dec 22. (wed)

Cass zipped her suitcase shut, double-checking that she had everything she’d need for her two weeks in Connecticut. It wasn’t a big deal if she forgot something, there was probably some stuff left in her old dresser, and her little sister Eliana was about the same size. Mat had just texted that he was almost there. Cass grabbed her backpack and suitcase, stopping for a moment to pop out the final few chocolates on the Advent calendar her mom had sent down. She closed her bedroom door, wishing a harried goodbye to Ryanne and Stella, and ambled down the stairs as fast as her bags would allow her. She didn’t want Mat to have to double-park and risk getting a ticket. 

True to his word, Mat was just pulling up when she came out of the building, waving one hand and double-checking the street was clear before flipping his hazards on and hopping out to help her put her bags in the trunk. Kissing him on the cheek in thanks, Cass slid into the passenger’s side, giving Mat a very pointed look when she saw that the first song on his playlist was Justin Bieber. “Don’t make fun of me,” he mumbled, blushing. 

“Who said I’m making fun of you?” Cass said lightly, trying and failing to hide her smile. 

They had decided that Mat would make the drive, since he was only staying two nights they had figured it would make more sense. The directions had been plugged into the Bluetooth system, and they had just made it out of the city when Mat looked over at the passenger’s seat, furrowing his brow when he saw Cass’s expression. Something was bothering her. “What’s up, babe?”

She bit her lip. “Nothing.”

“C’mon, we both decided we weren’t going to do this anymore. You don’t have to tell me if you really don’t want to, but I think you want to talk.”

Cass looked down at her lap. “I got a letter from the company that’s handling my student loans.”

“I thought you didn’t have any debt?” Mat asked quizzically.

She let out a single, humorless laugh. “That was for undergrad, and that was only because I was really, really lucky. I got some money from the school and I worked some, but that only covered about half of my costs? A little less?” 

“Which leaves you with how much?”

“A hundred and ten thousand dollars, give or take. They were sending me the payment schedule, I have to start paying it back late next year.” 

Mat breathed out. He knew that Cass didn’t come from money, but being from Canada and not having gone to college himself, he wasn’t really aware of just how debilitating student debt could get. “Do your parents know?” He asked gently.

Cass picked at a loose thread on her scarf. “Yeah. They helped as much as they could, but there’s three of us and they’re not made of money. “I, uh,” she paused briefly, “I told you I went to private school, yeah?” Mat nodded. “Catholic school doesn’t come cheap, so I was actually on work-study at my high school, which helped a lot. But I hated it.”

“Your school?” He questioned. 

She shook her head. “No, I loved my school. It was great. I just hated feeling like a charity case. My school’s in a pretty well-off neighborhood, so most of the families there had money, and some were like proper ‘old money’ New Englanders. I had some great friends and nobody ever really outwardly was an ass about it if they knew, but still…” She trailed off.

“You felt like you never quite fit in.” Mat finished.

She nodded. “It was hard and it sucked sometimes, but that’s just how it is, I guess,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. 

Two hours later, Mat pulled into Manchester, following Cass’s directions down the winding roads and corners of her hometown. “Do you think they’ll like me?” He asked nervously, eyes flitting between Cass and the road in front of him. 

Her brow furrowed. “Who? My family?” Mat nodded. “My family’s going to love you. You’re kind and you treat me with respect. That’s all they’ve ever wanted for me. And my brother already worships the ground you walk on, practically,” she added with a smile. 

“He’s a junior, yeah?” 

“Mhm,” she responded. Cass’s younger brother Noah was a junior in high school, and one of the best players on his club hockey team. Hockey didn’t run cheap and he had been lifeguarding the past few summers to pay for it, but it was all starting to pay off and he was having some interest shown by college scouts. 

Mat pulled up beside the curb in front of her house, killing the engine and shoving the keys back into his pocket. Cass popped the trunk and took her backpack, while Mat got his duffel and her suitcase. She reached for his hand as they walked up the driveway, giving it a reassuring squeeze as she rang the doorbell. 

“Cass!” Eliana squealed, hugging as much of her sister as she could manage around the bags. “Put your bags by the door, Dad’s grilling out back and I think Mom’s making your bed.” Mat had had an afternoon game and the two had left not long after, so it was dinnertime and Cass was ravenous. “Grilling in December?” She questioned. 

Eliana shrugged, closing the door behind them. “You know Patrick, you go be the one to tell the man he can’t make burgers in the winter.” She turned to Mat, also greeting him with a hug. “You must be Mat, Cass talks about you a lot.” 

Cass swatted her. “El!”

Mat chuckled. “Yeah. Mat Barzal, nice to meet you. Good things, I hope?”

“Only the best,” Eliana said, leading them through to the back porch, where her dad was grilling on the patio while Noah was doing sprints up and down the lawn. He almost fell when he spotted Cass and Mat, causing Mat to have to hide a laugh behind his hand. Her dad turned around, setting the spatula down when he saw them. Mat swallowed, sticking out his hand for a shake. “Mat Barzal, sir.”

“Call me Patrick. Good to meet you Mat, go get settled and we should have dinner ready in a few, okay?” Mat nodded. “Noah, pick your jaw up off the floor and go help them with their things, okay?” Noah ducked his head, brushing the dirt off his shorts before jogging over to where Mat and his sisters were on the porch. 

“Do I hear my Cassidy?” Cass could hear her mom inside, walking down the hallway with Noah and Mat before she ran into her by her old bedroom. “It’s me, Mom!” Cass said excitedly, hugging her mom. Mat initially went for another handshake, but she shooed it away, embracing him. “We’re huggers in this family,” she said by way of explanation, pulling away after a moment. “Ysabel Cabrera, so nice to finally meet you, Mat.” 

Mat smiled. “It’s great to finally meet you too.”

Ysabel pointed down the hall. “Noah’s got bunk beds, so you’ll be with him in there, it’s the last door on the left. Cass, I trust you still can find your room.”

“Yes, mamá,” Cass said, rolling her eyes. “See you in a few, chou.” He kissed her on the cheek, under the watchful eye of her mom, and followed Noah down the hall. 

---

Two hour later, Mat and Cass were cuddled together on the living room couch, his arm slung around her as they half-watched reruns of Parks & Rec. “D’you just want to do presents now?” He asked, looking down at her. “Because I know we’ve got plans tomorrow, and I don’t see how it really matters if we’re not going to be together Christmas Day.”

Cass looked up. “Uh, sure, if you want?” 

“Meet you back in a minute,” Mat said, hopping off of the couch and disappearing down the hall. Cass rolled her eyes, walking into her room, grabbing the envelope, and returning to the living room. Mat got up when she entered, proudly handing her a surprisingly well-wrapped present. 

“You look very pleased with your work,” Cass noted, laughing. 

“I watched a Youtube tutorial,” Mat admitted, “but did you know that there’s so much that goes into folding neat corners? It’s practically an art!”

“I’ll take you word for it,” Cass said, handing him his envelope. “Open yours first.”

Mat sat back down, running his thumb through the flap and pulling out a coupon. He looked at it quizzically for a minute. “Beer delivery?”

“Craft beer delivery,” Cass corrected pointedly. “Because I don’t want you to have to resort to Natty Light ever again. I saw your fridge, it’s actually the worst. You need taste, babe.” Mat snorted. “And they deliver to Canada, so you don’t have to worry about missing out on the offseason.” 

“I love it, pretty girl,” Mat said, kissing her. “Now open yours.” Cass carefully popped the corners open, unfolding the wrapping paper. My Beloved World - Sonia Sotomayor. “You said once that you really admire her, and I didn’t see it on your bookshelf, so I thought you’d like it.”

“I do, I love it. I love that you remembered even more,” Cass added. 

But Mat wasn’t done. “Open it,” he said expectantly.

Confused though she was, Cass opened the cover of the book. “It’s...signed? She said softly, reverently tracing her fingers over the inscription. 

“Yeah.” Mat went on, explaining, “I found it in this little bookstore in Brooklyn, and knew I had to get it for you. Knew what it would mean to you.”

“It’s incredible. You’re incredible. I can’t believe you’d do something like that for me.” 

Their foreheads touched. “Why wouldn’t I?” Mat whispered. “It’s for you.” 

And in that moment, there was nothing anyone could do to take away how happy that made her feel. How happy he made her feel. 

[justjessame]

The Deal Chapter Four

GREENE FARM~THAT EVENING

The good news? No one was dead, yet. The better news, for my dad at least? That I was the same blood type as both him and Carl. The bad news? My little brother had been shot. A hunting accident if you can believe it. The poor hunter, a man named Otis, looked as though he wished it were him. And if you listened to Lori, she did.

I winced as the ‘nurse’ stabbed the needle into my vein. Shit, that burned. “It’ll take a few minutes, hon.” She offered, as the blood began flowing out of me. She was Otis’ wife, and I felt for both of them. No one wanted to hurt a child, not even by accident, especially now.

I nodded. “Thank you.” I said, sitting still as the blood came out of me at a steady flow. She looked surprised at my gratitude. “You’re trying to save my brother,” I offered a weak smile. “So thank you.” Hershel had walked to the outer room to speak with my parents. Dad looked like death, they’d taken so much of his blood already, so I was happy to give him a break. Carl was laying on the bed, so still and quiet, so unlike my little brother. I took his hand in mine, the one not connected to the needle. I felt his hand clutch at mine and I knew he felt me. “Carl, you’ve got to fight, but not the doctor.” I knew he had, I heard about it. “He needs to save you, do you hear me? I won’t let you go, baby brother.” I felt the tears fall from my eyes and heard the discussion of when the rest of our group would arrive, but it was like a static filled channel.

“I think you’ve given your limit,” the older farmer and doctor said, tugging the needle from my arm. I’d fallen asleep with my head on Carl’s sick bed, his hand still clutched in mine. “I think your daddy wants to speak to you, young lady.” His smile was kind and so were his eyes.

I nodded, and stood up, feeling dizzy almost immediately. “Thank you.” I offered weakly, as I felt someone’s arms help me out of the room. I looked up and groaned. Shane, of course. “That thank you was to the good doctor, not you.” I spat, letting him take me to Dad and Lori.

They had been given a room of their own, and Shane knew me well enough to not start something I didn’t want to hear. Especially since I now looked the same as Dad had when we’d arrived. In my parents’ room, there was a sandwich and glass of milk waiting for me. Dad moved forward to hug me to him. And then Lori’s arms joined his. I felt like a baby, like a toddler when I was scared of the sound of the storms outside and they’d had to comfort me.

“He’ll be alright, Jessi.” Dad whispered in my hair. “He will.” I was shaking, even I could feel how badly.

“And you’re helping so much, Jess.” Lori added, gripping me tighter. “The fact that you and Rick have the same blood type, that’s so helpful, honey.”

They pulled me to a chair and sat me down. Handing me the sandwich on a plate and the glass of milk they waited until some of my color returned. Once I felt a little steadier, I realized that Shane was still in the room. I sat down my dinner and asked about the elephant in the room.

“What’s going on?” I asked, seeing them share a look. “What’s wrong?”

Lori sighed and Dad looked like he’d rather be on the moon. “Carl is gonna need to be sedated, Jessi.” Dad said, looking like he was breaking apart slowly. “Hershel isn’t sure he’ll be still enough without it.”

I nodded showing that I understood. “He doesn’t have all the supplies he needs here. Someone has to go fetch them, if they’re even available anymore.” Lori said, managing only just to hold back tears.

Another nod from me. “Shane and Otis are gonna head out and try to get what Hershel tells them to, but we have to tell you that there’s a chance-”

I stopped that shit right there. “No.” I said, shaking my head. “There’s not a chance, Dad. It will work. Otis and Shane are going to find what he needs and Hershel will fix him.” I was glaring at my parents, daring them to contradict me. “You came back from the DEAD, Daddy. I won’t even pretend like Carl won’t do the same.” The thought that my baby brother wouldn’t make it? That couldn’t even be considered. It would be like losing Daryl. Or Dad. Or Lori even. Not imaginable.

Shane was nodding and I wanted to throw my sandwich and glass at him. Fuck you and just get it done, I thought. I knew why he was doing it. He wanted Lori’s gratitude and her hero worship back. Screw that, I didn’t care. He better take Otis and find whatever medical stuff that Hershel required to fix my baby brother, or else.

HOURS LATER~SHANE’S RETURN WITHOUT OTIS

While Shane and Otis were gone, Dad and Lori took my place at Carl’s bedside. They insisted that I get rest. Since I was blood bag B, and Dad was blood bag A I agreed. Sleep came, mostly because donating as much blood as physically possible without death was a great sleep aid. Good to know. I woke up to the sounds of Shane’s return. He was alone and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that Otis wasn’t just dead, he was sacrificed.

Shane wouldn’t want to share the glow of triumph, nah that wasn’t his style. When he went to the bathroom to shower, I went to find my dad. He told me quietly what happened, then told me to be on standby, since our services might still be needed. He also warned me that no one had told Patricia, the nurse and Otis’ wife, since she was definitely needed.

When the surgery was over, my parents and I stepped into the room. My God, had Carl always been so small? His personality was always so big and full of energy that seeing him lying on the bed after his operation made my heart hurt. Dad took the chair I’d sat on earlier, and Lori pulled on to the foot of the bed. I stood between the two of them, while Dad tried to eat a sandwich. He told us stories about Shane and him as children, and I fought to stay composed. Luckily they were both so focused on Carl that I didn’t have to shield my facial expressions as much as normal.

Shane walked in a bit later, sporting a dead man’s clothes and new buzzcut. I eyed him suspiciously and felt vindicated by his careful avoidance of my gaze. Must suck, I thought, knowing that at least one person in the group could see straight through your bullshit. We maintained a family vigil, until Hershel insisted that Lori and Dad get some rest. I think he knew I was a lost cause and he shooed Shane out as well. I took Dad’s seat after he and Lori kissed me goodnight. Taking my baby brother’s hand in mine again, I sat at his side until he woke up.

“Jessi?” I heard his hoarse voice and saw the sunlight streaming through the lace curtains. I looked up from where my head had fallen in sleep on his bed, again. He was awake. Thank God.

“Hey, little brother.” I whispered, happy that I could see him awake. “Don’t move, kid.” He’d started to twist. “You were shot, Carl. So take a rest, would you?” He chuckled and held a hand to his bandage. “Do you hurt? Should I go get Hershel?”

“Who?” He asked, inquisitive little brother back again. “Is Dad here? Mom?”

I smiled, and ran my free hand through his damp hair. “Hershel is the doctor who saved you. Actually he’s a veterinarian.” I stopped and pretended to think about that. “I did always say you were a monkey, guess that’s proof.” He giggled and I went on to assure him. “Dad and your mom are here, soon everyone will be.” I smiled down at him as I stood. Dropping a kiss on his forehead, I offered to fetch Dad and Lori. His hand gripped mine for a moment, holding me still.

“Did they find Sofia?” He asked, so worried, and I knew he was because we’d all heard him calling her name.

I nodded, and turned away so he couldn’t see the guilt of the lie I was telling. “I”ll go get Dad and Lori, OK?” He released me and I rushed from the room.

I warned Dad and Lori of the lie I told. And I watched from the doorway as they went inside and saw for themselves that he was ok. Leaning on the frame, I watched my family interact, smiling at their ease of return to normal. Lori left to use give us some time alone and to check to see if the others had come yet. I laughed when my little brother said he and Dad were the same now that they’d both been shot.

“Yeah, I think your mother would rather hear we got the same eyes. So let’s keep that between us. Since you’re in the club now, you get to wear the hat. Didn’t you know? We’ll pad the rim tomorrow so it sits better.” They looked over to where I was still standing.

“Oh, I’m good.” I said, hands up. “I share your blood type, got the same color hair. That’s more than enough for me. I have enough holes without adding to the tally.” I came over to sit on the bed while they worked out Dad’s hat schedule.

“I love you two,” Dad said, holding Carl’s hand and reaching for mine. I gave it over willingly. “Y’all, and your mom,” he nodded at Carl, “are my world.”

“I love the two of you and Lori, too, Dad.” I answered, squeezing his hand. “Just do me a favor, you two?” They both looked at me. “No more gunshot wounds, please?” They rolled their eyes and chuckled. Standing I let them know I was going to check to see if everyone made their way to the farm. Dad stopped me before I could leave the room.

“Jessica, you don’t have to share a tent now.” The tone was clear, Dixon wasn’t needed for my comfort now.

“I know I don’t have to, Dad.” I said, turning to face him. “Maybe I just want to.” And on that note, I was gone. I loved the man, but I was an adult. And he’d have to come to terms with Daryl, sooner or later.

Later that day, Patricia requested that we put Otis’ memory to rest. Since we didn’t have a body, that seemed fair. I watched Shane’s obvious discomfort at being asked to relive Otis’ final moments, and make up what was clearly not the poor man’s last words. Oh, to pry open your rotten brain, I thought, and see for myself just what you did to that poor man. We all stacked rocks on a nice memorial pile, and then we began that difficult task of deciding whether or not to restart the search for Sofia.

Dad thinks we should, if only to put our minds to rest, a decision that Shane clearly disagrees with, since I see him trying to talk Dad out of it. I rolled my eyes as Maggie, the woman on the horse who found Lori and me and told the others how to find the farm, brought out a map to help the search. Daryl tried to talk me out of it, seeing how pale I still am, but I refused to listen. Sitting here and keeping Lori and Carl company doesn’t seem like much help.

Daryl was a little surprised when Dad sent the two of us off onto our own grid while he and Shane went to theirs. Walking through the forest, hearing Andrea bitching in her own grid, I asked Daryl the likelihood of Sofia surviving alone for this long in a walker-filled forest and swamp. He smirks at me and I hold out my hand to him. Taking it, we walk hand in hand, eyes on the ground for signs of her passing through. “People get lost, they survive.” He raises my hand to his lips and kisses it. “Happens all the time.”

“She’s twelve.” I hear Andrea offer, from the left of us. Great, an audience.

“Hell, I was younger than her and I got lost. Nine days in the woods, eating berries, and wiping my ass on poison oak.” He laughed, letting our hands fall from view, but keeping mine linked with his.

Andrea came closer, and I was about to snark at her about the grid, but felt the urge fall away. “They found you?” She was curious clearly.

The gruff chuckle that Daryl gave made my stomach flip. “My dad was off on a bender with some waitress. Merle was doin’ another stint in juvie. Didn’t even know I was gone. I made my way back though. Went straight into the kitchen and made myself a sandwich. No worse for the wear. Except my ass itched somethin’ awful.”

Andrea laughed and I raised an eyebrow. Better than bitching, I thought. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, that is a terrible story.”

Daryl gave his own laugh and I joined in, it was pretty horrible. “Only difference is that Sofia has people lookin’ for her. I call that an advantage.”

I smiled up at him and squeezed his hand. Andrea drifted back to her grid, and I hoped that she hadn’t missed anything by coming over to ours. “She may have missed some signs,” I said quietly and he nodded.

“Yeah, but she stopped her complainin’.” He winked at me and I smiled.

THE NEXT DAY~GREENE FARM

Everyone is pissed because Hershel demanded that our group give over the weapons. I’m not sure why people don’t understand that it’s his land, his farm. He has the right to set the rules. I roll my eyes as Shane leads the vote of bitching and moaning about this newest issue. I see Daryl about to walk away, but rush up to join him.

“Want to come with me?” He asks, looking down at me from behind bangs that are starting to get unruly. I nod and he motions for me to come along.

Once we clear the treeline, I turn to him for a kiss. Searching for Sofia is important, I get that and so does he, but the lack of privacy in this damn place is killing me. He chuckles against my lips. I pull back and we continue along, looking for a new place to search.

The only thing we find is an abandoned house that looks like she might have been inside. Outside, Daryl is drawn to some pretty white flowers growing wild near the house. I stand beside him as he tells me the legend of the Cherokee Rose.

“It's a Cherokee Rose. The story is that when American soldiers were moving Indians off their land on the Trail of Tears, the Cherokee mothers were grieving and crying so much 'cause they were losing their little ones along the way from exposure and disease and starvation. A lot of them just disappeared. So the elders, they said a prayer; asked for a sign to uplift the mothers' spirits, give them strength and hope. The next day this rose started to grow where the mothers' tears fell.” His voice is low and gruff, and I listen in silence. Placing my hands on his shoulders, and rubbing away the tension growing in his muscles. “That’s the story anyhow.”

“It’s beautiful,” I whisper, leaning down and kissing his neck. “You should take her one.” He cuts one off from the group and I look around for a suitable vase. Picking up a discarded bottle I hand it to him. “Tell Carol the story, Daryl. Give her some hope.”

He stood up and cupped my cheek in his free hand. “You’re sweeter than the rest think, Jessi.” Leaning forward his lips brush mine. “And that full moon night is comin’, soon I hope.” His smile lights up my day brighter than the sun shines.

“Let’s head back, Romeo.” I wink at him and our arms link together. How did I end up so damn lucky at the end of civilization?

[brynnmck]

Hi friends! I have been in a bit of an anxiety pit for the past couple of weeks but I'm hoping to be more present on here going forward. @ajoblotofjunk and @dame-lazarus both tagged me for this, thank you! ❤️ (Also, ajoblotofjunk, I’m SO glad we have the opportunity to get to know each other better via this meme 😂❤️)

Rules: Answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you would like to get to know better!

Nicknames? The vast majority of my fannish friends call me Brynn, including IRL; I answer as happily to that as I do to my wallet name. My husband calls me many ridiculous nonsensical things, such as “lady yam” and “baby puncher” (NOT, I should clarify, because I have ever even considered punching a baby, but because he thinks the combination of words sounds funny).

Real name? I am old school enough to want to keep my wallet name separate from my fannish name, at least publicly on the internets! Lol

Zodiac sign? Gemini (which, man, internet zodiac stuff NEVER seems to really understand/like Gemini). Taurus moon, Leo rising. ENFP, too, while we’re at it. 😂

Favorite musician or group? The Headstones and My Chemical Romance have been my top two of the past several years. Other artists who show up on most of my playlists include Springsteen, Bon Jovi, the Kris Delmhorst/Jeffrey Foucault/Peter Mulvey triumvirate, The Local Strangers, Lake Street Dive, and The White Stripes.

Favorite sports team? The Seattle Mariners (fairly unfortunately for me, though there have been some pretty fun times in there too). My dad loved baseball and I eventually fell in love with it too, in my early 20s, and it was the biggest point of connection we had. And baseball takes up enough of my time and emotional energy that I am so far pretty monogamous about it and have not gotten super invested in any other sports. But I never say never!

Other blogs? My first blog was an LJ, and I still have a Dreamwidth account that I haven’t updated in years. I’m @rockedfaces on Twitter (a lot of my baseball fandom lives there, as well as the ongoing clusterfuck that is the USA, and RTs of cute animals, and some media fandom stuff too). Mostly I can only manage one social media platform at a time so while I totally get the concept of having different accounts for different interests on the same platform, I cannot imagine maintaining that!

Do I get asks? Mostly only when I do ask memes. I always appreciate them though!

Blogs I follow? 185. Though I just came back to Tumblr a few months ago after a years-long hiatus, because I wanted to Get Involved in J/B fandom, so some of those blogs are now defunct and I know there are lots of great ones I don’t follow yet, too. 

Tumblr crushes? Obviously!

Lucky number? 7 I guess?

What am I wearing? Black yoga pants, a brewery t-shirt that I got for free as a pub trivia prize, and a sweatshirt for the western martial arts convention that my husband co-runs. 

Dream vacation? Right now? The alternate universe where there’s no global pandemic. Failing that, I’d like to go to New Zealand someday, and go back to the UK and Ireland, too. More basically, I just want to walk around interesting cities and eat good food and drink tasty alcohol with people I like. Pretty hikes are good too.

Dream car? I’m not really a car person. But an electric car with a super-long range would be pretty sweet.

Favorite food? I love very many foods! As you might be able to tell by the fact that I wrote a whole long fic about it! 😂 Tough to beat cheese and bread, as a general concept. I’m also extremely into good summer fruit when it’s in season, especially strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, nectarines, plums. Ooh and mango. And a really good peach is transcendent, though they’re rare here. We get amazing cherries though. SO MANY GOOD CHERRIES. Is it time for summer fruit yet????

Drink of choice? I do drink quite a bit of water, and I’m super into fizzy water right now. Alcohol-wise, bourbon or rye (perfect Manhattans are my go-to in the absence of a cocktail list), or a good Last Word in the summer. Also sparkling wine. And beer, especially at the ballpark (IPAs are my standby, as basic as that makes me, though I don’t like the super bitter ones).

Instruments? I played piano through high school and took voice lessons in high school and college (I was a theater kid). I can still play piano veeeery sloooowly if I’m learning something new, though some of the songs I played a lot as a teenager are still in my fingers somehow!  

Languages? English and what remains of my high school French. I really want to learn Spanish--if for no other reason than to be able to read baseball players’ Instagram posts--but so far I have gotten as far as downloading Duolingo. IT’S A JOURNEY.

Celebrity crush? Sooooo many. Nikolaj and Gwen are the two brightest stars in my little fannish sky at the moment, obviously. Various handsome baseball players. Ben Browder and Claudia Black. Chadwick Boseman and Nicole Beharie. Anna Kendrick. Frank Iero and Ray Toro. Lindsey Way. David Cook. Adam Brody. Gillian Anderson. I could go on!

Random facts? Let’s do three to make this 21 questions for real! 1) Ummm. I am bad at random facts about myself! I have one sibling, a brother who’s about a year older, and we were super close up through college (we still get along fine, he’s just been on the other side of the country for years now so our paths have diverged more); 2) We stayed a weekend in one of the treehouses at Treehouse Point in Falls City, WA just before Treehouse Masters really exploded and it was one of the most magical experiences of my life; 3) I never knew I was a dog person until we got a dog, and even though we are dogless now (though I would love to get another one at some point!), I am still very much a dog person, and I always want to see pictures of your dog, FYI.

I feel like with everybody tagging several people and me being way behind in responding, surely most of y’all have done this already? But if not, please consider yourself tagged! And @ me! And/or link me to your posts in the replies; I’d love to see what I missed while I wasn’t around.

[mrwinterr]

The Consequence [3]

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist

Pairing: Charles Blackwood x Female Reader

Summary: The reader is in search of Charles Blackwood as he’s been missing for several days and not once considering the warning that no good ever comes from being associated with a Blackwood.

Warnings: We Have Always Lived in the Castle spoilers (book and film). Smut (unprotected sex, vaginal fingering, oral [male and female receiving], cum stuff - yeah, I said that) and a swear starts below the cut. I don’t have to remind y’all this is semi/non-canon, right? We all know the kind of character Charles Blackwood is, but for fanfic purposes, I had to make him this way without completely tarnishing his other traits. 

Title Inspiration: “The Consequence” by You Me At Six

Disclaimer: There are characters, dialogue and references from the actual book and film, We Have Always Lived in the Castle. They belong to the author and I take no credit for any of these elements. 

A/N: As of this post, I’ve completed transferring what little of a masterlist I had to begin with on this new account. There’s three more parts to this series left. I honestly can’t tell you when they’re going to drop. They will regardless if anyone is still keeping up with this. 

P R E S E N T

On the way to the Blackwood house, you stopped at a rest area and were able to call your friend as promised. She was relieved to hear back from you, but you were kind of skeptic as to how much everyone else seemed to know about your fiancé’s past than you did. You recounted part of the events that had taken place at Stella’s, just briefly telling her about how much this town despised the Blackwoods. Charles never liked to talk about his family other than how his father was strict and had cut ties with his relatives. You needed clarity and that could only be provided by the man himself.

“Did you know about the Blackwood murder?” You asked your friend quietly over the phone and making sure no one was eavesdropping. This town now had you a bit self-conscious when talking freely of the Blackwood family. She reluctantly sighed and admitted to having heard of it. When you asked why she had never once mentioned that fact about Charles’ background during the early days of your relationship, she responded with how it wasn’t in her place and that Charles never spoke to her about it, believing it may have just all been gossip, which people seem to be really, really good at, and besides, the accused suspect was acquitted.

Charles was as independent as he could be before his father, the only other remaining member in his household, passed away. You had met the patriarch a few times and he intimidated the hell out of you. If you thought your dad was bad, Arthur Blackwood was on another level of discipline. He praised Charles for finding a “pretty one” yet questioned your effectiveness as a wife. While Charles told you not to listen to him, it still bothered you because you’ve heard that kind of talk your whole life from your own father. They made you believe to that you had to be the best damn housewife you could be. You didn’t mind having to fend for yourself at times and you had the basics covered but you didn’t believe you were to live a life full of housework and Charles never chastised you about it. Charles was good to you. How both your fathers were wrong.

After speaking with your friend, who tried to convince you to come back home once more, you soon found a road to follow up the hill to travel on. You began to hear chanting and it sounded like children, so the closer you got the more audible it became, and it was definitely children. Deciding to follow it, you soon found yourself staring at a big house, the top half black and destroyed, confirming the house fire you learned about today. This was the Blackwood house. 

The children’s voices broke your gaze from the castle and you watched as a group of kids throw random objects at the door shouting, “Merricat,” over and over, along with a few awful stuff like, “you should’ve burned with the rest of your things,” “I bet you like to eat babies,” and more to provoke someone or something to come out. When did kids learn to be so awful at a young age? This town was a real piece of work, you thought to yourself. 

You continued to stare as one of the kids started up the steps of the house now resorting to name calling. As soon as an explicit word spewed out of an older kid’s mouth, you had enough. You weren’t sure the kind of people you were about to defend exactly but surely these kids were trespassing and harassing the inhabitants for no real reason other than for their own amusement.

Setting your suitcase down, you walked towards the kids and spoke, “Hey, that’s enough! What did those girls ever do to you? Didn’t your parents ever teach you bullying is wrong?” Their heads turned to you fast and soon you found yourself being a target of their ridicule, now calling you a fellow witch but as you paid no mind to their jeers, they went back to calling out to Merricat. 

Then the tumblers of the door started to echo, signifying that someone was coming out. One of the doors pulled open revealing a teenaged girl with a blank expression on her face, clearly unmoved by the teasing. The children squealed in fear, not prepared to face the subject of their torment. They tripped over their own feet trying to flee the area as soon as they could while also hastily apologizing for their nasty behavior.

None of them seemed to remember you standing nearby watching the whole thing as they scattered and disappeared from view. You turned to look back at the front door, still open and the young girl unfazed, but now staring intently at you. You stared back for a few seconds before speaking, “hello,” you greeted with a small wave to her. You were met with no response, so you kept speaking, “do they do that often?” you asked referring to the malicious children, but she still stared at you. “I’m sorry that you have to go through that. I’m sure none of that is true,” but what did you know other than this girl was potentially related to Charles and you needed to gain her trust to get answers, right? It was wrong but you had to do whatever you could to find Charles, even if it meant manipulation.

Proceeding with caution, you decided to continue, “you must be Merricat,” you gathered that much from the children’s bullying and when she still hadn’t moved, you cautiously began to take a few steps forward, only for her to quickly shut the door close. You had barely made it to the steps when you begged for her to wait and hear you out. You knocked on the door and decided to talk through it, hoping she or someone else would hear you.  

“I apologize for intruding on your property. I can assure you I mean no harm, but I couldn’t standby as I heard those children shout those nasty things.” Surely, she had to have still been standing nearby inside, so you continued, hoping to coax someone to come out, “I can’t even begin to understand how children can learn to be so rotten at a young age and let alone their parents condone that behavior.” After a few seconds, you swore you faintly heard a creak in a step from inside; someone was listening to you. You proceeded to tell them your name and posed as a wanderer passing by. Now sitting on the steps of the house, you stared at the damaged furniture scattered in front of the house. It’s a shame to see it all destroyed. You almost let Charles’ name slip from your lips when you recalled how their families had a falling out, so perhaps it was best to not mention Charles just yet. You weren’t even sure if he’d been this way already, you couldn’t take the townspeople word for anything that much you learned.

The door opened just a crack and you quickly turned to your side. You couldn’t see anyone just yet until it opened wider, so you began to stand up from your sitting position. Soon, you were met with a different woman, who seemed to be around your age. She looked pristine with her brown hair up, bright blue eyes and in a white, makeshift dress that you mentally applauded her for being creative with on the fabric. Her clothes must’ve burned in the fire. You noticed the younger one, the one you were having a staring contest with earlier, stood close behind. The woman offered you a small smile, which you returned, and just like that you knew your plan had worked.

The woman introduced herself to you as Constance Blackwood and her younger sister Mary Katherine or Merricat. She explained how she overheard you trying your best to defend them from the children outside and your story. You properly reintroduced yourself to the two of them, Constance shaking your hand and Merricat staring at it. She made you a little nervous, but you knew it was because you were a stranger. You probably would be suspicious too if you were shut out and casted away from society for who knows how long. Social skills weren’t exactly going to be on the top of the personality trait for a person of such. She would be one that would take more effort to ease up to. Constance noticed your suitcase by your feet and your tired eyes. You didn’t even realize how tired you must’ve looked within the last two days of travel. She invited you in much to the dismay of the younger Blackwood as you could tell from her body language. Her face was still unnerved, but you could still sense her coldness.

Constance apologized for the state of their home and you couldn’t believe she even had the audacity to when you knew the fire was an unfortunate event. To lose most of everything one owned and having to rebuild took a lot on a person and you praised the two for their high spirits. While she warned there wasn’t much to work with of the house being in its current condition, she offered you a spot until you figured where you should head to next. It was a very kind gesture of someone to make to a complete stranger, but she must’ve really been appreciative of your actions from earlier. She was definitely one you could work with. 

You mentioned how you were no stranger to bullying and teasing from where you came from. You were picked on during your childhood because you didn’t like to partake in other kids’ version of fun, teachers weren’t that helpful to your cause and added on with the mental abuse your father gave you your whole life. You didn’t know how you managed to hold your ground and keep it up until you met the one person who’d changed your life.

P A S T

Growing up you frequented the library quite a lot, then the moment you got your own notebook and filled it up, you realized you had a thing for writing. You enjoyed documenting and writing short stories. It consumed a lot of your time. You were in your own little world and you were fine with it because it made you happy, but as it turned out, that didn’t mean it made those around you happy. If you didn’t hear it from your parents, who were puzzled that their eldest child wasn’t finding herself a nice, young man or honing up on household skills, then you heard it from concerned teachers because you weren’t socializing enough. You weren’t hurting anybody, but they were hurting you and one day you just had enough.

During another lecture from your father, he actually laughed at the idea of you making a career out of writing. The lack of support really hurt coming from your own flesh and blood. He compared you to the other model kids and the difference in compliancy between you and your younger siblings. You needed to learn your place in society apparently.

You didn’t know exactly where to run off to, but you went as far as your feet could take you from the village without deterring off too far. You plopped down on a curb and were too exhausted to be alarmed when a stranger soon stood next to you. He crouched down to your level and asked what was wrong. You didn’t respond, mind too clouded with frustration, you didn’t even look at him. Maybe he’d go away.  

“I’m not leaving until I know you’re going to be ok,” he spoke up.

Great, you thought to yourself, “I’m ok,” you said unconvincingly.

“Are you really? You wanna talk about it? It could help,” he suggested.

You sighed loudly, still not looking in his direction, “if I tell you, will you finally leave?”

“Anything you want,” he affirmed.

“Fine. Family drama. There. Goodbye,” you kept it short, but he made no movement to leave, “you said you’d leave if I told you. Why are you still here?”

“You didn’t really tell me anything,” he replied.

“Why do you even care?” You pushed.

“I don’t know. I’m drawn to you I guess,” he said.

“You don’t know me,” you stated.

“True, but I’d like to.”

“Why?”

“You’re quite inquisitive, aren’t you?” He said and you could almost feel him smirking.

“I’ve been told that my whole life,” you said as if that’s a real bad thing.

“I like that.”

“Well, you’d the be the first.”

“I’m Charles,” he introduced himself. When you finally turned to look at him, you paused before going to do the same. He was gorgeous. He gave you a smile, his blue eyes swirled, and hair infused with a lighter shade, in contrast to the natural dark brown, highlighted the front end and top of his fluffy hair. Where has he been your whole life?

When you gathered the sense to tell him your name, you decided you had nothing to lose and tell him what was troubling you. You told him about your aspirations, the lack of support you’ve been receiving lately and that you were feeling increasingly discouraged each day about chasing that dream caused by your own father. You told him that your whole life, you had been brought up to become a proper housewife and that your dream wasn’t going to provide for you, that you needed a man. You told him that the very thought and vision of your life made you more sad than angry.

He listened to every single thing. He didn’t judge you. He didn’t laugh or argue against you as you confined in him. He did tell you that you were capable of creating your own future. You could take all that you’d been shoved to learn and use it towards your own goals. If your own family wasn’t going to support you, then they were going to have to deal with it. You needed to start doing things for you. Charles gave you a sense of hope and he enlightened a whole new vision for you.

“Just know, you’re not your parents…you’re you,” he gave one last advice and you didn’t even realize you’d cracked a tiny small then he muttered quietly, almost to himself, but you still heard it, “wow, you’re so pretty.” After he regained composure, he encouraged you to continue writing and that he’d love to read your work if you’d let him. You felt weak because you felt you could dissolve right there in front of him and bare your soul written in your notebooks for him. 

The two of you spent the whole day getting to know about each other. It was a slight stab when you discovered he didn’t live within your village, but he wasn’t based pretty far. He frequented this village for business purposes and nothing more, but you’d give him another reason to. He’d just returned from a trip in Europe, which enthralled you as he spoke of all the sights he saw. You hated to admit it then, but you were drawn to him too.

Not much had changed at home. You’ve been seeing Charles for a few months now, as much as you could when he visited your village. His business here was long over with, but he came back to see you. This kind of relationship with someone was all new to you. You never entertained the thought of being personal or intimate with anyone because finding a man wasn’t on the top of your list. With Charles, it was easy to go with the flow and besides how could you say no to him? You picked up on the trait that he had a way with words and as a result could be very persuasive. It seemed to rub off on you as you were able to escape your homelife easily as often as you had been, which is how you found yourself in a private room of a motel that Charles was a regular at while he visited you.

You both had returned from a nice dinner and a night out at the dance hall, where you didn’t realize how much fun dancing was. There was always something new with him. You sat at the foot of the bed and watched him walk around the small room. He was leaving to go back home tomorrow, and you both wanted tonight to be special.

He sat next to you, facing you, and it was unspoken but there was full consent as your eyes shone with such eagerness, he slowly leaned in to kiss you. The kiss started slow, a hand grasped the back of your neck to deepen and keep your lips locked as you started to lean back and lie on the bed, dragging him down with you. He pulled your body up to the center of the bed with little effort before getting on top of you. As he braced himself with one arm, his other hand ran down your throat, cupped your breast eliciting the first of many noises from you that night. When he gave it a light squeeze you gasped at how it felt, providing an opening for him to slip his tongue in your mouth.

You’d both made out enough times and you knew it worked Charles up judging by the hardness that would rut against your lower region. By now, the kisses became more feral, he had to detach his lips from you for some air. He looked into your eyes, cradled the side of your face again, his thumb grazing your cheek gently, “I want you. I want you so bad, baby,” he pleaded. 

You stared at him for a few seconds as you fought yourself internally. This was going to be your first time. What if it ruined everything? You knew it was coming. You wanted to please him but what if you’d fail miserably? “Charles,” you started and wrapped your fingers around his wrist then voiced how you’d never done anything like this with anyone. He assured you that you couldn’t do anything wrong to him. It wasn’t enough of a confidence booster, but you felt compelled to please him. His hips ground into yours and your body answered for you by thrusting your own upwards to meet his.

He whined burying his face in your neck, “I promise we can stop whenever you want. You just say the word,” he said breathlessly against your throat. You brought his face back up to yours and reconnected your lips. Your dress had ridden up from his hips’ constant gyrations, giving Charles less of a hassle to touch your legs. His large hands slipped underneath your panties from the waistband to grope at your backside then snuck back out to start running them up and down your thighs, reveling in the soft skin. He gently massaged the inner parts of your thighs before his fingers started testing the waters at your clothed core. Your eyes popped open when you felt him push aside the material and his fingers starting to probe your folds and feel the wetness pooling. He must’ve sensed the sudden stiffness of your body as he withdrew his fingers from you. He broke the kiss once more to look at you. He wanted to make sure you were still okay with this. “Do you trust me?” He asked. You nodded, but he shook his head, “no, baby girl, I need to hear you say you want this-“

“I do. I do want this, Charles,” you answered almost too quickly, afraid you’d lose him then and there. You were a little embarrassed for wanting something you didn’t have much experience in, but months of heavy petting wasn’t going to keep you both satisfied much longer. Go big or go home. “I’m going to make you feel so good, you just have to trust me,” he assured you.

“I trust you,” and to prove it, you moved to sit up and remove your dress. His eyes cast down at your chest still confined by your bra. You felt a sense of pride when you caught him biting his bottom lip. His moment of weakness allowed you to take control. You grabbed his hands and placed them back on your breasts. He snapped out of his trance and his hands began to wander behind your back to the clasp of your bra. Once unhooked, bra tossed aside, he lowered his head and his mouth instantly attached itself to a nipple. He paid attention to each and only the increase intake of your breathing and harsh tugs at his hair, were indicators for him to move on.

You watched as he sat up to remove his clothes and the sight of him bare always left you in awe. He reclaimed his position over you and lips with such fervor then started trailing down your body. You picked your head up to see him leave kisses around your abdomen and hips. Your legs spread apart for him instinctively and when Charles hooked his fingers on the hem of your panties, he looked up at you once more only for you to give him a nod. When the last bit of your garments was taken care of, you didn’t realize you were holding your breath until the first bit of contact his mouth made with you. Your head dropped back down, hips bucking involuntarily, as he experimentally flicked the tip of his tongue to get a taste of your arousal. He brought an arm over your hips to keep them buckled down before he began his onslaught.

Charles seemed to love what he sampled; his tongue ran a stripe up your folds before going to suck on your clit. He continued this method until he was sure you were enjoying it and judging by your moans increasing in volume mixed with your ragged breathing, you were. You started to reach a brink you were almost scared of because your body was experiencing a new height of pleasure.

To kick it up a notch, he slowly inserted a finger in you. Your hips jerked once more under the arm, deciding you wanted to feel more, he pushed in another finger, this time the force of your hips bucked up even harder. You subconsciously began massaging your own breasts, wanting to feel pleasure all over. Charles briefly looked up and moaned against you at the sight of you touching your body. He loved the developing sexual confidence you displayed for him. The vibrations of his moans only egged onto the sensation you were feeling. The combined efforts of his tongue and fingers plunging into you soon had your legs quivering and body desperately lifting itself up from the mattress. You let out an embarrassingly loud moan when his fingers curled, brushing the spot to trigger your release. Soon, your pussy clenched tight as you came around his fingers, he was reveling in the juices of your first orgasm, “so good, so sweet,” he uttered while lapping up as much as he could.

Your head was pushed far back into the pillow under your head as you swallowed the lump that formed in your throat from your orgasm. You brought an arm over your eyes, slightly ashamed that you must’ve made a mess on his pretty face and the slight toll it took on your body. You didn’t notice Charles make his way back up to you and when he grabbed your arm to remove it from your face, the sight of his mouth and chin glistening from your arousal had you aching once more. He didn’t think twice when he leaned in to kiss you and you weren’t sure why tasting yourself on his tongue turned you on. With another surge of self-confidence, your hand started to rub the bulge prominent in his boxers. Not that he could see, you blushed at its length and hardness. He took your hand in his and guided it inside to wrap around him, eliminating the thin barrier as he tugged them off fully. Your hands stayed in place, slightly stunned at your actions, “it’s okay, baby, remember you can’t do no wrong,” he tried encouraging you. You moved your hand up and down feeling the soft flesh and ridges of his cock with each stroke. He had occupied himself with leaving tiny bites and marks on your neck as you continued with your movements.  

Charles flipped the both of you around suddenly, you now on top straddling him with your hands now planted on his chest. He shifted his hips to get comfortable but doing so only allowed his member to run past your wet pussy. He groaned at the contact and started shamelessly begging, “help me out, gorgeous. I’m begging you,” while slowly starting to rub up against you. Even though you drilled the fact you were inexperienced in his head, you wanted to please him. He had to have sensed your hesitation and took a different approach. He traced a finger along your lips and poked it in your mouth for you to suck and gather some of your saliva before he removed it to rub the wetness on his cock. Charles repeated this notion and the harder you sucked on his finger, the harder it became for him to control himself, “oh my God,” he whined watching your lips wrap around his digit and the feeling of your tongue as he imagined that sensation on his throbbing member. Seeing Charles that weak and drowning in pleasure gave you another confidence boost as you slid your body down his until you were face to face with his dick. You grabbed him and poked your tongue out to lick the tip. When that initial contact was through with, it was easy enough for you to run a longer and broader lick from the base to the tip before engulfing him.

Once you had a good pace set, your cheeks hollowed around him and hands made quick work to occupy the rest that you couldn’t intake.“Fuck, you look so good with my cock stuffed in your mouth,” he stressed when he made eye contact with you. You soon discovered a distinct taste and texture in your mouth as he started oozing precum. One of your hands slipping down to palm his balls, you tried your best to not make a mess as a mix of fluids started to escape your mouth and slide down his cock. It was a work alright, but knowing you were making him feel that good made you feel even better. You could feel your arousal dripping down your thighs. Charles stopped your ministrations the first time you gagged when you took him in too deep; feeling your throat constrict around his cock almost threw him over the edge prematurely.

You pulled away and sat up looking at Charles, awaiting your next move, your eyes shone with unshed tears from the brief lodge of your airway caused by his cock. You were a mess as you wiped at and licked your lips from any excess fluids.

“I don’t believe you,” he said with broken breaths as he lied there trying to collect himself, “I don’t believe that was your first time,” he clarified giving you a devious smile. You let out a small sigh of relief before blushing once more. “Come here, beautiful,” he commanded, and you obediently crawled over next to him. Charles’ body hovered over yours once more, parting your legs to position himself in between and hooked them over his waist. You let out a whine feeling him drag his hard cock against your sopping pussy, coating himself.

“I need to hear you one more time,” he said, lips brushing against yours, “I need to hear you say you want this.”

“I want this. Charles, I want you,” you confirmed, wrapping your arms around his neck.

He slowly pushed in, while paying close attention to your face beginning to contort with the pain of him stretching your walls.

“Baby, you’re gonna have to relax a bit,” he advised once you started to clench, your body’s response to block the pain, you hadn’t even realized you’d pulled him closer to you. He pulled one of your arms away from his neck to look at you before saying, “I promise it’ll feel good,” then pecked your lips. You nodded and tried to keep his promise in mind as you bared through the stinging feeling of him pushing further in. Once he was fully encased in your warmth, he let out a moan, dropping his head in the crook of your neck. You both lied still for a couple of minutes, taking in the feel of absolute closeness. You felt so full because of him and he was warm because of you. “I’m gonna move, ok?” He warned you.

Charles started to pull away slowly then pushed back in a little faster, eliciting a moan out of you. His mouth agape as he stared at you again, the pain mostly erased and replaced with pleasure, your body was growing accustomed to him. You couldn’t stop the moans escaping your mouth with each thrust he made and Charles smirked as he reveled in the fact that he was making you feel that good and he hadn’t even pulled out all the stops but that would have to take some time. One particular thrust had you dragging your nails down his back and yelp, “oh my God,” that was it. Charles let out a groan from the stinging on his back, but he knew. He found it. He hit the spot. He did it again to make sure and this time you thrust back against him.

You were too lost in ecstasy and from the languid kisses he left all over your body; you didn’t see his hand trail down between where your bodies connected. His fingers started to hastily rub circles on your clit. You didn’t know someone could bring so much pleasure to you, but here was Charles doing just that. His name repeatedly spilled from your lips as your body swam through the waves of euphoria from your second orgasm. Feeling your pussy squeeze his cock, he immediately crashed his lips to yours, letting out a throaty moan and unable to pull out, resulted in him filling you with his hot cum. The kisses became sloppy, your hand tugged at his hair, matted with sweat that it started to curl, as the warmth spread all over you. You let out a whine when he finally withdrew himself from you, some of his cum starting to leak out. He couldn’t stop himself from scooping a small amount on his finger and bringing it up to your lips, which you expertly took in and sucked the digit clean.  

He marveled at your state of bliss. The way both of your hands grasped at his wrist to hold his hand in place, your eyes closed, moaning at his taste, covered in a sheen of sweat, hair stuck to your forehead and sprawled all over the pillow, chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath. “Damn. You’re perfect. You did so good, baby,” he said almost at a loss for words before kissing and praising you the night away.  

Your relationship with Charles only grew deeper and your dad was beginning to get suspicious as to where you were off spending your time and even nights away. It wasn’t until he heard talk of his daughter being seen around town with a suitor. When your dad had confronted you about it, you were almost relieved because you didn’t know how to bring it up. Maybe he would finally get off your back now that you were heading in the “right direction” of becoming a woman of society, whatever bullshit that was. He insisted you invite your new beau over to formally meet him and you were pleased to find Charles having no problem at all with meeting your father. You were reluctant to agree, hoping your father wouldn’t run him out of town.

That night, after preparing and setting up for their first encounter, you saw a shiny, red car from the window. It was a bit puzzling, but when you made it out to the front porch and saw your boyfriend behind the wheel, you shook your head. He always had to show off, but that was a part of him, and you really liked him.

“How’d you manage this?” You asked referring to the new car.  

“Baby, I can be very persuasive,” he said placing his hands on your hips to bring you closer.  

“Oh, don’t I know it?” You teased before finally greeting him with a kiss. You heard snickers and giggles from the inside of the house and pulled away to shoo your younger siblings away.

Once you made it inside, you were greeted by your parents. Charles smiled brightly at them and you let go of his hand when you noticed how your father stared hard at the both of you. You were his daughter after all. Charles didn’t seem to crack at all under the look and confidently introduced himself with his hand out for your father to shake. If looks could kill, you thought that was the look, the one your father was giving Charles at that moment. He shook Charles’ hand out of sheer courtesy before stalking back to the dining room without another word. You were confused at your dad’s sudden coldness in front of a guest but also because not too long ago, he seemed to entertain the idea of you finding someone and finally meeting that person.  

Charles doesn’t show any sign of defeat at all. He knew your dad would’ve most likely not have taken a liking to him. Your dad wasn’t as subtle when he grilled him with unnecessary questions. It went unbothered by Charles. It confused your younger siblings. It somewhat embarrassed your mother. It angered you. When Charles leaves that night with a hushed promise to see you tomorrow, your met with your dad, who is really disappointed that the one man on this planet that you do take interest in is a Blackwood.

“How do you fail to mention that you’re courting a Blackwood?” He demanded once it was just you and your parents.

“What is that supposed to mean?” You were really confused now.

“That boy is bad news. I thought you had better judge of character,” he scolded.

“Charles has been nothing but good to me,” you tried to convince your dad. You looked behind him and the expression on your mom’s face was sympathetic, “Mom?” You asked for her help.

“I’m sorry, honey. It might be best if you stopped seeing Charles,” she advised. You just shook your head in disbelief at the lack of support from your parents, but what was new right? You never seemed to have their support these days.

“I don’t get it,” you said finally voicing how you’ve been feeling less part of the family, “you’re supposed to be my family and be happy for me-“

“We do want you to be happy. You’re just not going to find happiness the longer you stay with him.” Your mother tried to reason.

“I’ve felt nothing but that with him!” You countered, but what success did you ever have with that against your parents? 

“You really don’t know,” your dad scoffed at your naivete, “Charles comes from a crazy family with a dark history. No good will ever come out of being with a Blackwood-“

“His family is not him,” you cut your dad off, “and the both of you aren’t me,” you closed this argument and stalked off to your room.  That was the first of many times you’d hear your dad warn you about Charles and he’d just hope you’d be wise enough to leave him.