#y’all no one is supposed to read these they’re for my own enjoyment to see what I got right

[contententhusiast]

Fourth wing thoughts

1. Violet says her dads heart gave out right after Brennan “died” - was Brennan responsible for keeping him alive?

2. Why were violets mom and dad together in the first place? (Seem pretty opposite)

3. Do the commanders inside the wards have some kind of alliance with the venin to take out the griffon ppl

4. Fewer dragons willing to bond - because Navvare leadership is becoming corrupt and the dragons don’t like ?

5. What really happened with Brennan and Naolin? And does Tarin know Brennan and by extension knew violet before all of this

6. IS NAOLIN ALIVE AND NOW A VENIN BECAUSE HE REALIZED HE COULD BE MORE POWERFUL THAN AS A RIDER (I,e violet mentions being able to resurrect makes you a god) maybe the reason Tarim hasn’t bonded with anyone since Naolin is because he doesn’t want another power hungry rider but violets willingness to protect the weak and compassion ensures him she won’t be like that and that’s why he chose to bond again- Naolin wanted her moms favor aka power and his power is similar to how the venin work- also they mentioned a venin teacher so it would make sense that

7. What is the deal with the silver hair of the sorrengails - is it related to vi’s weak body - does it have to do with venin like power

8. Violets mom isn’t as bad as we think maybe working with the rebels in some manner

9. Did Brennan tell Xaden stories of violet?

10. Xaden is an intrinnic. Violets head always prickles. Tarin tells him not to read him.

11. Imogen has erased some of Violets memories I.e montserrat

*** what are dragons said to respect, ruthlessness strength - it would make sense as one of the most powerful dragons in existence Tairn would bond with someone who fits those qualities. Which leads me to believe His first rider Naolin was powerful, strong, cunning, perhaps a bit power hungry.

Naolin: we know his power is syphoning. He has the ability to absorb power from “other dragons other riders and then use it or distribute it” this is eerily similar to the way venin operate. They take power from the land instead of from the sky so it stands to believe that if he was that powerful and had a really good grip on his skill set which I’m assuming he did then he fundamentally already understands HOW to draw power like a venin

- when violet is talking to professer about how tried to Naolin save Brennan violet asks why someone would do that professor says people Fear her mother but also want her favor aka power. It would stand to believe that anyone who saved General Sorrengails favorite child would of course be granted her favor and more power in their hierarchy.

- Also when she’s talking to the professor about Naolin Violet mentions that being able to resurrect would make someone a god I.e the most powerful thing in existence

- When violet goes through her book of fables from her father there is mentioned that the bond between a dragon and a rider can turn against the rider if they try to pull too much power

- “A dragon without its rider is a tragedy. A rider without a dragon is dead.” - I’ve been thinking about this quite a lot. We’ve seen how a rider will die without their dragon (RIP Liam 🥲) but generally a dragon whose rider has been killed in this story is fine and eventually rebonds. The only mention of a dragon not bonding again is Tairn and that’s said because “the bond between Tairn and his last rider was so strong” but as we’ve found out the understanding of why dragons bond is not very well understood and I wonder if that’s just another speculative as to why tairn never bonded

- The venin students knows about all the power violet has as tairns rider

- My thoughts are, not to say Brennan couldn’t have been important to Naolin, but I think Naolin’s main goal is power. He wanted to save Brennan to prove he could be a god and was the most powerful rider. He wanted to move up in rank by impressing their mom. Whatever

- I think when he tried to save Brennan he was drawing so much power that A. The bond with Tairn tried to turn against him

- B. It nearly killed Tairn or he was taking all of Tairns power and almost drained him similar to how feather tails can gift their power and if the rider uses too much it will kill them

- I think however that all went down the bond between Naolin and Tairn broke and Naolin realized he could draw from the earth as a venin and be more powerful since he already knows the rope. Unlike with the dragons there are no constraints to his power.

- This also would explain as to why Tairn wouldn’t bond again until violet- because what do we know violet isn’t the typical rider she’s considered weak and fragile in the physical sense but we see plenty of people tell her how she’s smarter than her siblings and how that is not the only weapon there is. I think Tairn chose her because she’s strong but in a different way and is willing to defend the weak but also she’s willing to die for them too. If what happened with Breanna almost killed Naolin but he didn’t want to die if makes sense Tairn would respect someone who It makes sense tairn wouldn’t want the normal rider type after all that happens with Naolin. Also why Andarna would bond her too. They know Violet isn’t power hungry and won’t abuse power and she’s proven it time and again

[patt-writes-stuff]

Beach Days with The Genshin Characters!

Wc: 1.7k+

Type: Headcanons

CW: umm nothing except mentions of alcohol and maybe people being creeps? (None of the chars or you tho it’s very brief)

A/N: HI IM BACK FROM THE DEAD! These were supposed to be a lot shorter but I got too excited. If you by any chance wanna see some for your fav character lmk! I know it says request are closed in my bio but since it’s just hcs it’s a lot less (and I really enjoyed writing these so ajdhdhdk)

🔥Diluc:

This man cannot swim. Tell me otherwise, I dare you.

Kaeya tried to jokingly push him off a lil diving cliff area when they were kids.

He almost drowned. Kaeya was in a lot of trouble.

So, good luck getting this man to actually get in the water. The most he’ll do is sit on the shore where it’s very shallow.

He usually prefers to just stay under an umbrella on the sand and keep an eye on you.

Calls you every two hours in advance and helps you reapply sunscreen.

He’s very pale so I feel like he burns pretty easily, meaning he needs to reapply super frequently otherwise he will become a tomato. He brings like three bottles of the good shit. Tch, rich boy.

If you ask him to build a sandcastle, he will pretend to be annoyed but do it anyways. Ends up finding it kind of enjoyable.

He has the maids prepare a nice picnic basket for the two of you!! It’s got all your favorite foods plus grape juice cuz y’know.

If any creepy peeps approach you, don’t worry. He brought his vision and his claymore.

Of course, he won’t have to resort to such violent lengths. Everyone in Mondstadt knows who Diluc is and they probably know you’re his s/o, so they’re usually smart enough to mind their own business.

If they don’t, don’t worry. Diluc’s glare is more than enough to scare them away.

All in all I definitely recommend a beach day with him! I’ll give it a solid 8/10 (-2 for not wearing floaties and getting in the water with you or letting you teach him how to swim.

🖌Albedo:

You guys definitely 100% take Klee out with you on a beach day.

You guys bring snacks, beach toys like buckets and shovels for optimal sandcastle building, a picnic blanket, etc.

Jean definitely packs a lot more stuff for you guys to take with you than you actually need.

It’s only cuz she’s worried for Klee and is nervous about not being able to go with you guys though! It’s very sweet really.

Klee tries to bomb the fish and cause havoc at the beach 😭

I think Albedo is a good swimmer and gets in with you and Klee so that he can help her (which is very cute omfg)

He’s set total workaholic, as we know, so it took a lot of convincing to get him to put down his experiments and accompany you to the beach (however, he’s particularly weak to yours and klee’s puppy dog eyes so he caved eventually)

Though, looking at you and Klee happily building sandcastles and decorating them with pretty seashells of all shapes and colors, he can’t really find it in himself to complain.

He, of course, takes this opportunity to take out his sketchbook and draw the waves, seagulls, you… Of course he won’t let you see the sketch book no sir. He’s a bit embarrassed to be honest, but an artist such as himself recognizes beauty when he sees it so he simply had to draw you. (God I love him so much)

If a creepy person approaches you,- well don’t worry. The sight of a small arsonist child blowing up fish is enough to scare them away 🥰

At the end of the day, all three of you are all ticketed out. Albedo has to carry Klee back to Mondstadt because the poor baby fell asleep the moment you started drying her hair with the beach towel. You’re, of course, carrying back Dodoco and your bags. (You also manage to sneak a peak at Albedo’s sketchbook and find some very pretty drawings of you and Klee with your sandcastle)

At the end of the day, you guys tuck Klee in and read her a bedtime story (she woke up and insisted). Afterwards Albedo takes you back home and thanks you for coming with you and Klee (which you ofc say wasn’t a problem because how could you not???)

All in all? I’ll give it a solid 10/10. You’ve got tasty food, fun times, your boyfriend and his cute kid adoptive sister (yes I am very biased idc)

🦋Xiao:

I think it would take a lot of convincing to get Xiao to go out on a beach date with you.

He’ll probably see it as a distraction getting in the way of his slaying of monsters and demons.

However, he also worships the grounds you walk on (hehe, simp XD), so I don’t think it’ll take that much convincing on your part (especially because it’s is self appointed duty to keep you safe so if you insist on going with or without him, he supposes he’ll have to go)

Is definitely a bit tense at first. He doesn’t know how to let loose and chill so while you’re sun tanning on a beach chair he’s like 🧍‍♂️ahdgshjsjd

Eventually calms down a bit though! You get him to relax and eat some almond tofu you brought along with you. It definitely gets him to perk up.

I don’t think he would mind getting into the water but I do think he’d rather walk along the shore and collect pretty seashells and sea glass.

He later gives the ones he deems pretties to you (he hands them over to you with a blush on his face and pretends it’s not a big deal and he definitely gets all pouty and grouchy when you coo at how adorable he is)

As for creeps, Xiao is both intimidating and well known in Liyue. No one is brave enough (or, let’s be honest, dumb enough) to approach you with any bad intentions.

Sure, Xiao has sworn never to harm a human/citizen of Liyue but that doesn’t mean he can’t scare the absolute shit out of them.

I think Xiao would definitely enjoy a beach day 🥺🥺. He’d find it very relaxing to go out with you and just hear the sound of waves and feel the sand under his feet.

He’d definitely hint at wanting to do it again later. Of course, he won’t tell you. No, that’s a foolish mortal activity and he has much better things to do.

Wait no, don't turn around, yes he will go with you next month.

All in all, I give Xiao a 9/10. It’s a very relaxing day (which he deserves 😤). And you get to see a whole new side of him.

💎Ningguang:

OK SO ORIGINALLY I WASN'T GONNA WRITE ONE FOR HER (at least not in this post) BUT THEN I THOUGHT OF LADY NINGGUANG TAKING YOU TO A WHOLE ASS PRIVATE BEACH

She knows you don’t care about how exclusive the beach you go to is (in fact, the fact that you don’t care about where you are or what you do is one of the things that make her fall more and more madly in love with you) but you deserve the best so she’s gonna go all out.

She’s a busy lady so days like this where the two of you get to go somewhere and be together are few and far between.

She knows it’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who is busy 24/7, so she appreciates how you remain by her side despite all hardships. (Y’all are a whole ass power couple istg)

The two of you spend your day relaxing. Sun bathing, drinking piña coladas, maybe taking a dip in the ocean. It’s all very pleasant!

Ningguang doesn’t quite feel like the type of person who would sit in the sand and make sandcastle, however you’re more than welcome to make some yourself. She finds it endearing <3

If you insist on her helping, she’ll eventually comply. She loves you too much to say no. I feel like she’ll either be terrible at it or like a total architect.

Sand is technically like tiny rocks right? So maybe she can use her vision to help her? If that’s the case, she’s making a replica of the Jade chamber out of sand.

If any creepy person comes up to you don’t worry. Ningguang will buy the whole beach and then use her right of admission as owner to permanently ban them from the beach you’re at.

The only downside to a day at the beach with Ningguang might be that there’s a big chance she’ll be called to tend urgent matters, seeing as she is the Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing and all.

If that does happen, she’ll be sure to make it up to you somehow, whether it be rescheduling or taking care of the matter as soon as possible so that the two of you can get back to your day of relaxation and fun.

All in all?? Lady Ningguang will treat you like total royalty and the two of you will have an amazing time! I give her an 11/10 (she would literally buy a whole beach for you to be comfortable I mean c’mon)

🍃Venti:

BEACH DAYS WITH HIM ARE SO FUN!!

Swimming? Yeah, he’d love to! Sunbathing? Sure! He’ll ever conjure up a light breeze for the two of you. Sandcastle building? WELL OF COURSE WHY DO YOU THING HE BROUGHT ALL THESE BUCKETS AND SHOVELS?

No but seriously, he might be the best person out of everyone here to go to the beach with. He’s fun, free spirited, and he’s a traveling bard who’s been alive long enough to know where all the best beaches in Teyvat are. (He also knows a guy- er, well, dragon I suppose- who is willing to fly them to any place).

He’ll play some soft tunes while you doze under the sun.

HE PICKS PRETTY SHELLS AND GIFTS THEM TO YOU!!!

He will bring booze. I’m pretty sure this is a necessity. If you’re a little upset about it, he’ll probably “eheh~” his way out of it. That slick bastard.

If you really insist on him not drinking, he won’t consume much alcohol.

If some creepy person approaches you and tries to ruin you your day of beach time fun, all of their stuff will suddenly be blown away, causing them to scramble back to their spot and (almost embarrassingly) flail around trying to catch everything. What a shame…

At the end of the day, he’d be a little sad to leave. Definitely makes plans about tbe two of you going back soon.

I gotta give him a 10/10 he’s just so fun omg.

[him-e]

what did you think of shadow and bone? have you read the books? i only read the duology

Thoughts on Shadow and Bone, now that you've probably seen it?

I think the show is alright? It lacks a real wow factor as far as I’m concerned, but it’s enjoyable. It’s especially enjoyable in those parts I didn’t anticipate to like / didn’t even know would be there. 

Whereas the main selling points leave a lot to be desired.

The good stuff: the visuals. The aesthetic. The overall concept. Production, casting and costumes are excellent, the setting is fascinating. The worldbuilding isn’t perfect and is sometimes confusing, which is probably due to the show jumping ahead of the books and introducing elements that happen much later in the book saga, but I’m loving the vague steampunk-y vibe of it mixed with more typical fantasy stuff and slavic-inspired lore, the fact that it’s set in dystopian Russia rather than your usual ye olde England.

I find it interesting that in this ‘verse the Grisha are simultaneously superstars, privileged elite, legendary creatures and despised outcasts, according to the context and the type of magic they wield. It’s A Lot, and so far it’s all a bit underdeveloped and messy, like a patchwork of different narratives and tropes sewn together without an organic worldbuilding structure. (there are hints to a past when they were hunted, but how did they go from that to being, essentially, an institutionalized asset to the government isn’t clear yet. There’s huge narrative potential in this, and I hope future seasons will delve into those aspects)

Many of the supporting characters are surprisingly solid. I appreciated that Genya and Zoya eventually sort of traded places, subverting the audience’s assumptions about them and their own character stereotypes, despite the little screentime they were given.

Breakout characters/ships for me were Nina/Matthias, and even more so the Crows, i.e. the stuff I didn’t see coming and knew nothing about (having only read the first book). (I thought the entire Crows subplot was handled in a somewhat convoluted way, at least in the first episodes; it was hard to keep track of who wanted Alina and why, but the Crows’ chemistry is so strong it carried the whole Plot B on its shoulders).

HELNIK. As an enemies to lovers dynamic, Helnik was SUPER on the nose, I’d say bordering on clichéd with the unapologetic, straight outta fanfiction use of classic tropes like “we need to team up to survive” and “there’s only one bed and we’ll freeze to death if we don’t take our conveniently damp clothes off and keep each other warm with the heat of our naked bodies” (not that I’m complaining, but i like to pine for my ships a bit before getting to the juicy tropetown part, tyvm). And then they’re suddenly on opposite sides again because of a tragic misunderstanding - does Bardugo hate high-conflict dynamics? It certainly seems so, because between Helnik and Darklina I’m starting to see a pattern where the slow burn and blossoming mutual trust is rushed and painted in broad, stereotypical strokes to get as fast as possible to the part where they *hate each other again* and that’s... huh. Something.

^That’s probably why I’m almost more interested in Kaz x Inej, because their relationship feels a bit more nuanced, a bit more mysterious, and a bit more unpredictable. (I didn’t bother spoiling myself about them, so I really don’t know where they’re going, but it’s refreshing to see a dynamic that the narrative isn’t scrambling to define in one direction or the other as quickly as possible)

-

Now, as for Darklina VS Malina... I found exactly what I expected. 

Both are ship dynamics I’m, on principle, very much into (light heroine/dark villain, pining friends to lovers) but both are also much less interesting than they claim to be, or could have been with different narrative choices. I’ll concede that the show characters are all more fleshed out and likable than their book counterparts, and the cringe parts I vaguely remembered from the books played out differently. And, well, Ben Barnes dominates the scene, he’s hot as HELL, literally every single second he’s on screen is a fuck you to Bardugo’s attempts to make his character lame and uninteresting and I’m LOVING it, lol.

But yeah, B Barnes aside, Darklina is intrinsically, deliberately made to be unshippable. 

It makes me mad, because it’s - archetypally speaking - made of shipping dynamite: yin/yang-sun and moon, opposites attract, COMPLEMENTARY POWERS AND SO ON. And what does Bardugo do with these ingredients? A FUCKING DELIBERATE DISASTER:

^ Placing the kiss so early on (season 1, episode five) effectively kills the romantic tension that was (correctly) building up until that point, and leaves the audience very little to still hope for, in terms of emotional evolution of the dynamic. 

Bardugo lays all the good stuff down as early and quickly as possible (the bonding, the conflicted attraction, the recognizing the other as one’s equal, etc) only to turn the tables and pull the rug so y’all sick creepyshippers won’t have anything to look forward to, because THEY’VE ALREADY HOOKED UP AND THAT BELONGS TO THE PAST, IT’S OVER, THEY’RE ENEMIES. This, combined to the fact that she falls for him *without* knowing who he really is, is the opposite of what I want from a heroine/villain ship (it’s basically lovers to enemies, and while that can be valid too, I wanted to see more pining and more prolonged, tormented symbolic attraction to the Shadow/Animus on Alina’s part). 

But here’s the trick: it’s not marketed as lovers to enemies - it has all the aesthetics and trappings of an enemies to lovers (the Darkling is, from the get go, villain-presenting, starting from his name), so it genuinely feels like a trollfic, or at the very least a cautionary tale *against* shipping the heroine with the tall dark brooding young villain, and I don’t think it’s cool at all. It makes the story WAY less interesting, because it humanizes the villain early on (when it’s not yet useful or poignant to the story, because it’s unearned) but it’s a red herring. The real plot twist is that the villain shouldn’t be sympathized with, just defeated: there’s a promise of nuanced storytelling, that is quickly denied and tossed aside. So is the idea of incorporating your Shadow (a notion that Bardugo must be familiar with, otherwise she wouldn’t have structured Alina and the Darkling as polar opposites who complement each other, but that she categorically refutes)

Then we have Malina. The good ship.

Look, I’m not that biased against it. I don’t want to be biased on principle against a friends to lovers dynamic that antagonizes a heroine/villain one, because every narrative is different, and for personal reasons I can deeply relate to the idea of being (unspeakably) in love with your best friend. So there are aspects of Malina that I can definitely be into, but it troubles me that in this specific context it’s framed as a regression. It’s Alina’s comfort zone, a fading dream of happiness from an idealized childhood, to sustain which the heroine systematically stunts her growth and literally repressed her own powers, something that in the books made her sickly and weak. But the narrative weirdly romanticizes this codependency, often making her tunnel vision re: going back to Mal her primary goal and centering on him her entire backstory/motivation, to the point that when she starts acting more serious re: her powers and alleged mission to destroy the Fold, it feels inorganic and unearned. 

Mal is intrinsically extraneous to Alina’s powers, he doesn’t share them, he doesn’t understand them, he has little to offer to help her with them, and so the feeling is that he’s also extraneous to her heroine’s journey, aside from being a sort of sidekick or safe harbor to eventually come back to. People have compared him to Raoul from Phantom of the Opera, and yeah, he has the same ~magic neutralizer~ vibe, tbh.

The narrative also polarizes Mal’s normalcy and relative “safety” against Aleksander’s sexy evil, framing Alina’s quasi-platonic fixation on the former as a better and purer form of love than her (much more visible and palpable) attraction to the latter. This is exacerbated by the show almost entirely relying on scenes of them as kids to convey their bond. I’m sure there are ways to depict innocent pining for your best friend that don’t involve obsessively focusing on flashbacks of two CHILDREN running in a meadow and looking exactly like brother and sister. LIKE. I get it, they’re like soulmates in every possible way, BUT DO THEY WANT TO KISS EACH OTHER?

Which brings me to a general complain: for a young adult saga centering on a young heroine and full of so many hot people, this story is weirdly unsexy? There are a lot of shippable dynamics, but they’re done in such a careless, ineffective way that makes ZERO EFFORT to work on stuff like slow burn, pining and romantic tension, and when it does it’s so heavy handed that the viewer doesn’t feel encouraged at all to fill the blanks with their imagination and start anticipating things (which is, imo, the ESSENCE of shipping). The one dynamic that got vaguely close to this is, again, Kaz and Inej, and coincidentally it’s also the one we didn’t get confirmed as romantic YET. Other than that, where’s the slow burn? What ship am I supposed to agonize over during the hiatus to season two? Has shipping become something to feel ashamed of, like an embarrassing relative you no longer want to invite in your home?

Anyway, back to Alina/Darkling/Mal, this is how the story reads to me:

girl suspects to be special, carefully pretends to be normal so she can stay with Good Boy

the girl’s powers eventually manifest; she’s forcibly separated from Good Boy

the girl’s powers attract Bad Boy who is her equal and opposite but is also a major asshole

girl initially falls for Bad Boy; has to learn a hard lesson that nobody that sexy will ever want her for who she is, he’s just trying to exploit her

also, no, there is no such thing as a Power Couple

girl is literally given a slave collar by Bad Boy through which he harnesses her power (a parody of the Twin Scars trope)

you know how the story initially suggested that the joint powers of Darkness and Light would defeat evil? LOL NO, Darkness is actually evil itself and the way you destroy evil is using Light to destroy Darkness, forget that whole Jungian bullshit of integrating your shadow, silly!

conclusion: girl realizes being special sucks. She was right all along! Hiding and suppressing her powers was the best choice! She goes back to the start, to the same Good Boy she was meekly pining for prior to the start of the story.

... there’s an uncomfortable overall subtext that reads a lot like a cautionary tale against - look, not just against darkships and villain/heroine pairings, but also *overpowered* heroines and, well... change? Growth?

Like, it’s certainly a Choice that Alina starts the story *already* in love with Mal. That she always knew it was him. The realization could have happened later (making the dynamic much more shippable, too), but no. 

[genesisrose74]

Christmas with the Karasuno Boys (HC’s)!!

Part 1: Daichi, Suga, Asahi, Nishinoya, Tanaka, & Ennoshita

Part 2 (Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kinoshita, & Narita) here!!

A/n: Tumblr said my word count was too much so I’m splitting this bad boi up into two parts :p Enjoy!!

*****

Daichi

A huge romantic during Christmas, 10/10 quality cliche times spent together

You wanna go ice skating? Hell yeah sweetheart, he will make it the most beautifully romantic thing you’ve ever seen

Like straight out of a holiday postcard type beat

Istg the rink he takes you to looks like a more heartwarming version of Rockefeller Center

He’s a big keeper of tradition when it comes to making plans, but doesn’t mind a bit of nonsense fun when everything falls into place

Which is why you love to bring the team along on adventures because they make everything all the more entertaining

At first he’s confused like ??? You don’t have to do that just if they’ve been pestering you about it

But then he realizes you care as much about them as he does (hint: a hell of a lot) and they’re thus invited along for some stuff

Of course y’all also get some quality time together on dates with just you both

Anyways you and Daichi have talked a lot about traveling and how he was really interested in seeing new places

So as his gift you got him a carved map with a roll of red string and thumbtacks, so that he could plan out all the places he wanted to visit

You know how when Kiyoko found the “Fly” banner for Karasuno and all the boys cried?

Yeah

Like that but with lots more hugging and laughing

“You know you’re gonna have to help with mapping this out, right?”

“Is that an invitation I hear?”

“Oh, that’s a promise”

FJSFJDSK ALEXA PLAY AMERICAN BOY BY ESTELLE—

Please I love him; he is so damn sly and sassy I will die with this headcanon

Sugawara

I swear on everything that Christmas with him is equivalent to a Hallmark movie

It smells like joy and warmth wherever he is, and this season only amplifies it

He is such a cheeseball without even having to try

But it’s in the really endearing and heart-melting way,,, just MMM PERFECT

He’ll take you on a walk through those neighborhoods with those crazy light decorations in the front yard and buy you hot chocolate

If he sees a group of little kids gaping at all the lights, he’ll leave them starry-eyed with stories of magic, reindeer, Santa and so-forth

“You know, I’ve heard that Rudolph’s nose is supposed to be brighter than the world’s most powerful Christmas light”

Good heavens, children absolutely adore this man

Anyways he’ll make it a little game as y’all walk around this beautifully lit neighborhood, both of you with a different assortment of bingo squares printed on paper

First one to bingo chooses a movie to watch after getting back to Suga’s house

Will wrap a big fluffy blanket around you both and pull you into his chest while watching the movie

For his gift, you got a star named after him

It’s because y’all alway go stargazing for dates every month, just to sit out, talk and cuddle

Suga gave you the SOFTEST look after opening your gift and this cute little card you made 🥺

“Lets go try to find my new favorite star”

PLEASE HE IS SO SWEET

“Right now? Koushi it’s 11:30 pm”

“Just for ten minutes, and then I’ll get you home”

So y’all spend the rest of Christmas Eve on his roof, sipping warm tea and attempting to locate Star Suga

Asahi

Cuddle bear alert ‼️‼️

It’s basically hibernation time for him, because he’s not the biggest fan of cold

That’s alright with you though 😌 more coziness for you

Lots of quality moments indoors means more creative dates

A whole day devoted to chill present wrapping? Hell fuckin’ yeah

Nice music, pretty wrapping paper, shiny bows, maybe a little Christmas rom-com playing in the back — the whole shebang

You find out pretty quickly that despite how it sounds, it’s actually quite a satisfying and enjoyable pastime

Practically had to drag him out of your living room to secretly wrap his own gift

As much as he’s the king of timidity and soft™, he can be very playfully stubborn when he’s comfortable, hence why he was such an ass to get out of the room

I have no doubt that Asahi would melt for the most adorable, cheesy shit

So you not only bought him some really reliable headbands for volleyball use, but you also made a little coupon booklet

He can basically cash in paper promises for certain things, like getting to choose the next date idea, picking a movie to watch without any objection, having you make his favorite food, etc.

There’s one that he can exchange for a full out spa day trip, because good heavens he’s a sucker for those

Massage and exfoliation and everything — it makes him feel ✨refreshed✨

He was ecstatic fam, I don’t even know what to say

Like a puppy who just got a bunch of toys and a new backyard to play

Mans cashes in one almost immediately, and at first you’re confused

Like it’s Christmas time bubs, what are we gonna be able to do when most places are closed and it’s the holidays?

Then you read the paper

“Free hug (can be used and renewed <3)”

GIVE HIM HIS DAMN HUGS RIGHT NOW

He uses that one a lot throughout the upcoming days, to the point where he just keeps the paper on him for fun

“You realize you can just ask me silly, you don’t need to keep carrying the coupon around”

“Yeah, but it’s entertaining”

Cute little cheeky bastard

Nishinoya

LOVES LOVES LOVES CHRISTMAS

You know the 12 Days of Christmas? The song??

He gets you a small present EVERY DAY for all 12 days

Not to mention he has a big present that he saves for the actual holiday

Y’all are the type of couple to get ice cream in the middle of winter

Nishi loves his cold snacks any time of year, and you’ve thus picked up a similar taste

He will consistently pester you about what kind of present you got him

Gets pouty when you don’t tell him, but in the back of his mind he’s glad because it would ruin the surprise

Anything you get him instantly becomes his most prized gift tho

It could be a literal rock with googly eyes and he’d put it in a protective glass case for preservation

But of course you get him something better than that because he only deserves the best

He’s got this specific assortment of products to maintain his spiky hair and to make sure it’s healthy, but they’re pretty expensive to buy when he runs out

When he tore open your present’s decorative wrapping to discover a huge basket of basically every hair product he ever needed, he got wide-eyed

There was also a booklet of little notes you’d kept throughout the month that listed all the little things you noticed and adored about your precious boyfriend

He nearly CRIED reading them

“Baby, you didn’t have to do all that for me”

“You act like you don’t deserve all of it and more, Nishi”

Refuses to leave your side after that

Holding your hand, hugging you as tight as he can, etc.

He is head over heels idc idc

Tanaka

Another man who is obsessed with the holiday season and everything that comes with it

He is the biggest sap for this shit istg

Will spend hours trying to get you the best present of all time

And he succeeds exceptionally

Mistletoe? He’s got an ABUNDANCE on hand at any time, just to make sure he can get fair share of his kissies 🥰

His signature beanie appears in full force during winter

Sometimes you’ll pull it over his eyes before giving him a peck on the cheek and dashing off in the school halls

“I’ll see you after school, babe!”

Speech = jumbled + incomprehensible

“Uh hUh, you do that~”

He’s: adorable

I just know that he melts for really sweet and thought-out gifts

Like anything you give him he’ll adore, don’t get me wrong, but the ones done with special care and love are just his kryptonite

He brought you into a massive bear hug and spun you around when he opened a photo book of old pictures taken together, complete with lots of cute messages and anecdotes written alongside them

You and Saeko may have also gone in on another present for him without his knowledge

And on Christmas Eve, you dragged a curious Tanaka into his front yard to the sight of a shiny motorbike

It was Saeko’s old one that she’d held onto for a while, and an old schoolmate offered to fix it up nice in time for the holiday at a discount, so y’all decided to divvy up the lowered price and got it done for Ryu

Sweet boy was taken aback, with his hands clapped over his mouth and everything

Saeko patted him on the back as he stood there in shock, giving her baby brother a sweet smile

“All yours, little bro!”

Ya, Saeko fucking loves you 😌 and so does Tanaka

Overall very lovely, would cry to be loved by the Tanaka siblings

Ennoshita

After spending past Decembers with his fellow second year classmates (namely, the very enthusiastic Noya and Tanaka), he’s grown to know quite a bit about the different holiday events that go on around town

Still, Ennoshita is a pretty simplistic guy and is content with simply spending time with you

So when you recommended going to pick a Christmas tree out for your place together, he’s totally down

As long as he gets to help decorate too ☺️

Y’all end up picking a beauty of a tree ngl

It’s SO TALL

And a super stronk friend — fit for the most heavy duty of ornaments

It takes some damn work to get that bad boi inside and upright after driving back to your house

But like hell did that stop you

Now that it was all set up, sturdy, and given plenty of water, decorations were brought into the equation that same night

No rest until it’s all set up and looking mighty beautiful

Okay maybe some coffee breaks in between, but other than that the grind don’t stop ✋😤

Ennoshita is an expert at making Christmas trees look absolutely immaculate

Idk if it’s because he’s had to deal with cleaning up disorder for a while now?

Looking at you, ya second year loons

He just has the touch, fam

He’ll of course let you have input on which light colors, what type of ornaments, and so on

But honestly it’s really fun seeing him fully concentrated on making your tree the best it can be

He lets you on his shoulders to put on the tree topper 🥺

For his gift, Ennoshita really loves books, so you decided to get him 12 different (hardcover!!) stories — one for each month in a year

Along with a small sticky-note blurb on the covers of each to explain why you chose it, and to give similar title recommendations if he ends up enjoying

He was so surprised with how thoughtful and extensive it was

Loved it so much that he immediately started to read the first one, with you sat in his lap

“Chikara, you realize you’re meant to start this one in January?”

“Shh, I’m getting a head start”

[tintinwrites]

my hero | Din Djarin x Reader | Part One

A/N: I know I teased about this fic and maybe you guys will like it? Please read the warnings!!

Rating: T

Warning: Character death, but he’s okay promise! This will include Dark!Mando in future chapters. Reader is gender neutral, but will be AFAB in future smut. Reader is Force sensitive but doesn’t know it or know what the Force is despite knowing Grogu because...I don’t know they’re stupid. I’m BSing a lot in this please forgive me I did do some research but had to make up a few things myself. Naughty words. Shady dealings here y’all.

Word count: 2,510, apparently!!

Summary: When Mando is killed by a quarry, you’re willing to do anything to bring him back to you.

GIF credit: ^

Tags: @hoodedbirdie @mitchi-c @bisexual-space-slut @equalstrashflavoredtrash @mishasramblings​ @dindjarinscyarika​ and open!!

                                     ---------------------------------

You were seeing things.

You had to be seeing things.

Mando was skilled and he was tough, so there was no way that this was possible.

You did not spend all that time getting to know him and learning about him and falling in love with him for him to just be gone.

But you could see the wound just under his cuirass from here, could see the way his armor laid there unmoving even though you could distantly hear yourself calling his name again and again.

It was just a fucking quarry who managed to break free of his grip, so how could this fucking happen?

He wasn’t supposed to be killed by a routine he knew so well, by a person who was desperate not to be taken back to whoever paid for them, by the type of beings that he always dealt with easily.

The bounty was dead now too; you were dimly aware that you screamed as soon as you saw your friend, your companion, the man you were too afraid to tell— as soon as you saw Mando fall to the ground when his blaster was yanked off him.

You pulled out your own blaster and shot the other man without a single care, and you just stood there in shock for several moments, and now you were walking towards the two bodies and you kept saying his name and he still didn’t answer.

“Mando.” Your voice shook as you finally came to his side and you moved down to your knees, your hands hovering over him for a moment before you gently shook him. “Mando, come on. I know this...this is a trick…”

He didn’t answer, didn’t move, and your vision was blurry as you looked up at the sound of a coo to find Grogu slowly walking over. His ears were lowered and he looked at the man who’d practically become his father with big, sad eyes.

“No.” You sobbed, looking down at Mando and touching his chest, his helmet, his shoulders, as if he would tell you he was faking it or if he would jump up at your touch. “No.”

But he still remained as he was laying there on the ground.

You started to weep as you fell back slightly, unable to do anything but stare at him for any movement, even the tiniest flinch of his helmet or his gloved fingers.

“This can’t be happening...I need you. What am I supposed to do without you?” You were pleading with him like he could hear you, your voice tearful and trembling the more you realized that Mando was gone. “What about the baby? What are...what are we supposed to do?”

You didn’t know how long you just knelt there begging him not to go, telling him you loved him and apologizing for not telling him before; eventually you just sobbed into your hands until you couldn’t cry anymore and you just looked at his body, both of you empty in different ways.

Looking for comfort and closeness from him now that he was no longer there, wanting to spend just a minute more with him, you laid on the ground and lifted one of his arms so you could pull it around yourself as you pressed up against his side.

All you could do was stare straight ahead with your cheek pressed against his cuirass as the sun set, barely even noticing Grogu cuddling up where your hip met the man’s side.

Even though you’d desperately shaken him and begged him and confessed to him, it remained the same; Mando was...dead.

                                              -------------------------

You managed to pull his body to the ship, leaving him there on the lower level as you took Grogu up to the cockpit.

You just sat there for a few minutes, not knowing what to do or where to go; what were you going to do with Mando? What were you supposed to do from here?

It occurred to you, as you sat there just staring at nothing, that this couldn’t be it for him.

There had to be a way to reverse this or bring him back or something, and you weren’t going to give up on him without trying your damnedest to find out if you could save him.

You knew there was a database on a nearby planet that had all the information they possibly could as told by ancestors or travelers, so you punched in the coordinates and guided the ship with determination.

A shaky determination that told you that you were being delusional, but that it couldn’t stop you from foolishly trying to find a way to bring the man you loved back from the dead.

You put Grogu in his satchel when the ship landed and put it over your shoulder, refusing to look down as you stepped over Mando on your way out. It seemed like everyone on the planet was looking at you, like they knew you were trying to do something impossible and stupid, and you walked to the database building as quickly as you could.

There were datapads connected to all the information and you passed by several different species who were looking up different things; some for whatever academy they went to, some for enjoyment.

You found a free datapad between a man and an Abenedo that you quickly walked over to, thinking for a moment before you quickly searched the database for the word ‘resurrection’.

Most of the information you scrolled through was about different religious beliefs and all the others seemed to be the titles for romance or mystery books. You scrolled faster and faster with a look of desperation, flipping through page after page in search of something about actually resurrecting someone.

“You’re not gonna find what you’re looking for here.” The voice to your right made you jump, looking at the man beside you who was eyeing your screen with amusement.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said quickly, unconvincingly.

“Maybe I’m wrong, but you’re standing there looking up ‘resurrection’ and crying.”

You reached up to touch your cheeks, finding that your fingers came away wet because you’d started crying when you realized there wasn’t anything in the database.

The man looked around to be certain no one was listening and then he crooked his finger as he backed away. “Come with me and I can give you information about someone who can help.”

Maybe it was stupid to trust this strange man promising you valuable information so easily, but you were willing to try anything if it meant a chance at bringing Mando back, so you followed him to a quieter part of the building.

He once again looked to see if anyone was listening and then he grabbed a datapad, typing on it quickly.

“You want to find Ratik Tillie, she lives in the forests of Corellia, she’ll give you the ingredients and the ritual you need to focus the power. You’ll find her,” he spoke as quickly as he could then showed you the coordinates for the location.

“Thank you.” You read over the coordinates a few times before turning to go back to the Razor Crest, only stopping when the man called out.

“Do you know the Force?”

“Uh, yes, obviously.”

You lied because you didn’t know what he was talking about, bolting off to the ship and making your way up to the cockpit, putting in the coordinates as fast as you could and taking off towards Corellia.

Lightspeed allowed you to be there within minutes and you landed right in the forest, not looking down at your feet again as you walked to the ramp and onto the planet.

There was a shack or a hut, you didn’t know the proper term for the little home. You supposed that was where this woman lived and you moved to knock on the door.

“Come in, come in.” The door opened, but there was no one standing there.

“—hello?” You stepped into the house and looked around until your eyes landed on a small, older woman who was tending to a pot of something. “Ratik? I was told I could talk to you about—”

“Resurrection.” She looked at you with a knowing smile.

“You know because I’m crying, right?” Though there weren’t any tears on your cheeks when you touched them this time.

“No, dear, your sadness is obvious. Your spouse?” She hummed when you shook your head, tilting her own. “Your lover.”

“No.” You looked down at the floor.

“Unrequited then?” Her guess made you look up at her again and she smiled, nodding. “But a friend nonetheless. You don’t know what to do without him.”

You didn’t know how she knew so much, but it built your faith that the man was right, that this woman would know how to bring Mando back.

You watched as she moved to a shelf and grabbed a few things, looking to your side when you heard Grogu let out a coo. He was looking up at you questioningly and you figured he just didn’t know what was going on.

Ratik walked over to you with a few glass bottles, some with plants and others with substances you didn’t recognize, and she tucked some into the bag with the baby then handed the rest to you.

She told you where you needed to go and explained that you needed to mix the ingredients in a bowl she put in the bag. “You’re just going to focus all your power on him.”

“Thank you.” You reached up to squeeze her shoulder and moved to grab credits out of the satchel, but she put a hand over yours, staring at you with almost fondness.

“With all that power between the two of you, this will work out just fine. You’re certain this is what you want?” Her eyes were blue, you noticed, as she looked up at you like she knew you.

“I want him back.”

“Then go. Take it for free. You’ll know when you’ve completed the ritual.”

You smiled softly, nodding before you walked out of the house and back to the Razor Crest.

Mando was still there on the floor, but you hoped that would change if you followed this Ratik’s ritual and were able to summon enough ‘power’.

What she meant by you and Grogu having enough power for this to work out fine, you didn’t know.

Maybe she was simply referring to your will to bring Mando back, that you needed to really mean it and want it for something like this to work properly.

Either way, you put in the coordinates for the planet she told you about; it was apparently a source of power in itself just outside of a planet that was focused on this power, and that was where it was best to attempt these rituals.

It looked like any other planet to you. You walked through the grass to a private spot where you thought you might not be interrupted and you set Grogu down before you took out all the ingredients.

You mixed them into the bowl she provided with your hands and then looked over at the kid, nodding slightly. “We just need to think of Mando.”

Closing your eyes, you tried to think only of Mando; of how you loved him, of how much you wanted him with you again so you could tell him.

Thunder rolled overhead and there was a flash of lightning, making the baby coo in fear and quickly crawl into your lap. You let him hold onto one of your hands that was messy with the ingredients, trying again to think of Mando.

You didn’t see the bowl trembling or how the ingredients were slowly disappearing like someone was taking them, but Grogu did and he whimpered, trying to tug on your hand.

You normally would’ve looked at him to see if he was okay, but all you could think about was Mando, your thoughts practically running around in your head and trapping you inside them like a fortress.

There was another clap of thunder right above you, almost deafening, and it seemed to set off a switch in your head that had you crying out, falling forward onto your hands and knees.

You didn’t even notice that Grogu rolled out of your lap as your thoughts turned dark and sinister, like every bit of hate and anger in the galaxy was now yours and yours alone.

It crawled into your chest and made you grip on tightly to the grass, wanting to rip every last bit of the ugly, green plant out of the ground as you trembled with pure rage.

You hated the grass.

You hated this planet.

You hated that man and Ratik.

You even hated Mando.

That thought released the hate and you fell back onto your heels with a gasp as your normal emotions came back, your eyes opening wide at the fact that you could feel that, that you could think that.

You sat there panting for a long moment before your eyes moved down to the now-empty bowl and then went to Grogu. “Did you eat it?”

He was looking at you with fright in his eyes and you realized you probably scared him with how you’d been acting, not caring whether he ate the mixture or not as you took him into your arms.

“I’m sorry, buddy, I don’t know what that was…” You looked up at the sky as the thunder now rolled in the distance. “Maybe that was it? Should we go check on...you know?”

There weren’t further instructions than mixing together the ingredients and focusing on Mando, and she said you would know when the ritual was complete…

It seemed to you like it was.

You grabbed the bowl and put Grogu on your hip as you walked back to the Razor Crest, hesitating slightly before you walked up the ramp.

Mando was still there, unmoving on the floor, and you pressed your back against the wall, tears quickly filling your eyes because it didn’t work. It was all you could do and it didn’t kriffing work.

Did you not finish it correctly? Did you not have this supposed ‘power’ or ‘Force’ that both the man and Ratki mentioned? Was it all just a joke and you were absolutely stupid for thinking you could resurrect him?

It was really just you and Grogu now, wasn’t it?

You let the kid down where he toddled over to Mando and you dropped your head into your hands as you sobbed, sliding down to the floor and bringing your knees up to your chest.

You didn’t know what to do now.

You didn’t know where to go.

The sound of a gasp made you jump slightly and you quickly lifted your head to see that the unmoving body was now sitting up, his helmet turning every which way as he looked around himself, and your eyes widened in disbelief. “—Mando?”

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 10 favorite things about TFS?

Bold of you to assume I can narrow it down to just 10 things, but I’ll try my best. 

Here’s a list of things I LOVE about The Final Season of TWDG, starting from #10 and working my way down to #1.

10. Rosie is best girl and doesn’t die 

Listen, okay? If you give me a game with a doggo companion that I bond with only to have said doggo die for dramatic effect... you automatically lose 2 outta 5 stars on your rating. Case in point: Season 2.

However, tfs knew not to kill Rosie off for dramatic effect, knew it’d be cheap. Plus, Rosie is a sweetheart and I love that she helps Clementine come to terms with her past trauma with dogs and genuinely bonds with her. Rosie is best girl. 

9. Over the shoulder camera/controls 

They’re the best of the series, having come a LONG way since S1. Like, look... Don’t get me wrong. S1 isn’t unplayable or anything, far from it, but they’re not the greatest either. They’re pretty wonky at times, the fixed camera can get annoying when you’re moving around, and sometimes button presses don’t register. It’s definitely something I have to get used to whenever I go back and replay the entire series, and like I said, it’s not the worst controls in the world... but oh man, compared to TFS?

Have you ever played S1 and then jumped straight into TFS just to get a direct comparison of the two? Because I have and it’s jarring how much smoother, accurate, and overall better everything is in TFS.

Just... props, guys. Thank you for the over-the-shoulder, movable camera, thank you for the polished button prompts, and thank you for a run button that has Clementine go into a nice jog rather than a comical run or, eh... does nothing [lookin’ at you ANF... Javi slow].

It’s just so effortless to play. The most trouble I ever have is with doors but that’s a given- Doors make no goddamn sense in this series and I’ve given up trying to learn their secrets. Oh, and speaking of more improvements! 

The shooting mechanic in this game is leaps better than in S1. Y’all remember the Motor-Inn shootout? The one that was such a frustrating pain in the ass?? So much death and anger...

I still die sometimes when shooting the walkers with the bow, especially the ones that are on fire, but it’s nothing compared to the shooting mechanic in S1, so the biggest THANK YOU for that one. It’s actually enjoyable to shoot stuff this time around.

8. Collectibles 

You as Clementine get to pick up various collectibles to decorate her and AJ’s dorm with and it’s great. One of my favorite bits about this game is seeing Clementine wake up in this empty, lifeless room, and see it get brighter and brighter with every collectible you place throughout the game until you reach the final scene with AJ where the room is just FULL of life and personality. Like... it’s officially theirs. It’s such a good feeling! 

And the devs totally didn’t have to add the collectible system in, but I’m so thankful they did. I’m one of those people who gets every single collectible every single time I play. 

7. Ericson’s Boarding School for Troubled Youth

Y’know, I honestly can’t think of a better place for Clementine and AJ to end up than Ericson’s Boarding School for Troubled Youth. It’s awesome, I love it, what a great idea. I also love the sense of wonder when we step outside for the first time and see the inside of Ericson, as well as the others, walking around. Like even Clementine is taken back by it.

Because of course it makes sense for Clementine to end up in a school surrounded by people closer to her age rather than with a group of dumbass adults like in the past three games.

Here it feels like they’re all about on the same level. There’s no older person here belittling Clementine because “she’s just a child and doesn’t get it,” they’re just people, y’know? Hell, if anything, Clementine’s now the most experienced one!

The school’s great! I wouldn’t change a thing about TFS taking place here. The environments are beautiful and I love exploring the world. 

6. Marlon as an antagonistic character/final confrontation 

I have an entire Marlon character discussion/study so I won’t put too much time into this one, but I will say that I love Marlon’s part in tfs. I love him as a surprise antagonistic character, I love how chill he is in the beginning, I love the final confrontation at the end of ep1... I just really like Marlon, y’know?

Ray Chase gives a damn near perfect performance as Marlon, so much so that I wish he survived past ep1 just so that I could hear more of his acting. Marlon himself in an interesting look at a leader character hiding his shame and guilt while trying to maintain control over everyone [including himself] around him, only to be broken down when he’s found out. 

5. James 

I know people tend to be pretty split on James, but I personally really like his role in tfs. I love that they included a character who was apart of the Whisperers, and hell, if anything I’d like to know MORE about James’ past with them. 

I just find him and his whole “walkers are sort of people? kinda?” beliefs. Again, I know some people get annoyed with him because of his beliefs but I think he adds an interesting spin on the whole thing, y’know? Though I do love what a bitch he is if you don’t agree with him hahaha

James is a bitch and I love him, okay? I love his dumb walker mask, I love his dumb boyband hair, I love his whispery voice, and I love his backstory with the Whisperers and Charlie. I love this he’s trying so hard to be this pacifist that he ends up doing the literal thing he said he doesn’t want to do-- hurt people. Y’know... like attempting to kidnap AJ and threatening to break Clementine’s leg in the caves if he’s alive. 

Which, by the way, that whole cave scene is a thing. It’s wild and I love it but not for the reasons the devs probably wanted. Like... it’s a little hilarious? I know it’s not supposed to be! But I can’t take James seriously when he’s walkin’ around his hands on his hips all huffy and puffy, okay? It’s just wild. 

Anyway, I love James and wouldn’t get rid of him. Hell, I’m still waiting for my James with the Whisperers mini-series, Skybound. 

4. Ericson Crew

There isn’t a single character from Ericson that I don’t like, or that I’d get rid of, which is rare with these games. Thinking back to the previous games, there’s always at least one person I could do without or that I didn’t like. I adore all of them!

The Ericson crew just feels closer than previous groups. For starters, they’re way more likable than most in our previous groups. Even when there’s tension [and boy is there tension at points] you still get the sense that they don’t hate each other, unlike in our previous groups. They do in fact love each other as a family and will do what they can to protect one another.

Plus, they’re all interesting. They’re troubled youth and I love all of them! 

Aasim keeps a daily journal where he chronicles everything in hopes of learning from past mistakes to prevent future ones, he’s damn good with a bow, and he’s got a neat little soul patch on his chin.  

Ruby is the tiny yet fiery medic of the group who adamantly believes in manners yet used to chase teachers around with pitchforks. 

Brody is caught up in the twin mess with Marlon but she’s also shown to want an escape, a road trip where she and her friends can go see the beach, but she also suffers with anxiety and panic attacks and isn’t afraid to knock Marlon on his ass or swear at Clementine. 

Mitch is a grumpy, tall boy who looks after Willy like a brother, knows how to make bombs out of manure and propane, and used to fight his neighbors because they didn’t like his face. 

Omar is a sassy chef who has to have every ingredient just right otherwise he’s salty for a week and he can take a bullet to the leg like a champ. 

Willy’s a goober who can climb trees like you wouldn’t believe and he made a bomb of his own in Mitch’s honor that completely wrecked the delta’s ship. 

Tenn is a soft, naïve boy who draws and reads but isn’t afraid to stab a walker bitch if he has to. 

Violet was sent to the school after witnessing her grandmother’s dead, she used to date Minerva who is now “dead,” has abandonment issues,  tries to give off the appearance of a grumpy grump but like once she’s comfortable with you she’ll tell you her life story and do romantic shit like dancing and painting you a pin. 

Louis was sent to Ericson because he was a rich brat who broke up his parents marriage because they wouldn’t let him take singing lessons and has felt like garbage ever since, using humor to cope and push people away, and keeps the façade on until someone’s willing to see past it in which he’ll finally bare his soul to you, name a song he wrote after you, and do everything in his power to keep you and everyone else safe over himself. 

I just... Love ‘em all. 

3. Clementine and AJ’s dynamic 

To think that they almost killed AJ off, or kept him a minor character. That would’ve been a shame and an absolute waste because Clementine and AJ’s dynamic is super fucking good in tfs. 

It’s actually a little baffling that AJ’s as good as he is, from his writing to his voice acting, he’s just great. And his relationship with Clementine is definitely one of my favorites to come from this game. It’s not perfect, but I don’t want perfect. 

I love that AJ looks to Clem for guidance and I love the way our choices affect him, even when it’s a case of the bridge scene. Hate the bridge scene knowing that I gotta sacrifice a character I care about for another I love, but I can’t deny that I love how that choice is made. After everything, do you trust AJ or not? 

Plus, their conversations are so well done, their chemistry is through the roof, and I wouldn’t change it. 

Oh, and the barn scene? Gets me every time, even though I already know everything’s fine and gonna work out. Still gets me. 

2. Clementine is Bisexual

I’ve talked about this in the past, but lemme just say that I love the fact that Clementine is canonically bisexual. 

Doesn’t matter if you’re dating Louis, Violet, or no one, Clementine is still bisexual. The game confirms it through it’s text/subtext and Clementine’s actions that we don’t have control over, and the devs confirmed it. She ain’t straight, she ain’t a lesbian, she is bisexual. 

I can’t express how happy that makes me. Just... 💗💜💙

And with her being bisexual comes her two great love interests: Louis and Violet. They’re amazing, and such an improvement over the previous game’s attempt at love interests... ahem, y’know... Kate.

1. Louis as a character/his relationship with Clementine 

I mean... c’mon. Y’all knew what #1 was gonna be. Do I even need to explain? This entire blog is just me gushing about Louis/clouis. 

Look, Louis is my favorite non-playable character across the entire series. Hell, even when you factor in playable characters, he’s STILL my absolute favorite. Like, even outside of his relationship with Clementine, I find him to be such a compelling character by himself. 

Like I mentioned above, he came from a stupid rich family who gave him everything he ever wanted, but when his father wouldn’t let him take singing lessons, he literally worked for over a year to break up his parents marriage because “you get to be happy or you get to be rich, can’t be both.” 

He gets sent to Ericson where the apocalypse happens, he never gets to make up with his parents, and he ends up using jokes and piano as a coping mechanism to deal with everything, falls into a cycle of being unreliable and the butt of the joke, and lives one day at a time without much thought for the future. 

He puts on the happy jokester persona to push people away from knowing the real him and rarely shares much about himself. Hell, when Clementine does hunting and decides to take care of the walker with him, he actually does let down the wall for a minute to share his view on “this moment” before looking away like “Oof, shared too much-- HEY, GO CHECK ON AASIM :D I’LL BE OVER HERE :D FIXING THE TRAP :D and adjusting the wall ahem--” 

It’s so interesting because you’d think that he’d be more open about his past with Marlon or the twins or whatever [like Violet is] but no, he doesn’t tell you shit about his past until EPISODE 3 and you have to work to get that story. 

I just... I just love him. Could talk about and analyze his character for hours. And I love his relationship with Clementine. It’s just so good. The piano scene where they finally admit their feelings for one another?? That shit has my entire heart. Their entire relationship is my favorite. What else is there to say? 

[shhhlikeme]

“Losty Aone” / “Losty Mountain Man🏔” Series:

Outtake Collection #6

———————————

A/N: 1 word, 5 letters: D R A M A

Pls peep the vote at the end! I know there are not very many of you who read this so I want to make it enjoyable for y’all 🥰 it’s sooo important to me that I write what makes me happy

OUTTAKE 5 WAS POSTED HOURS BEFORE THIS ONE SO CHECK IT !

‼️THIS IS THE 10TH PART IN A SERIES READ THE OTHER PARTS BEFORE THIS ONE: ‼️

TABLE OF CONTENTS

———————————

Hours After You Noticed Aone For The First Time And Had Lunch Together! 🤫🥩

With a very discreet bounce in his step, Aone Takanobu walked into the Date Tech boys volleyball team changeroom after exchanging numbers with you after school.

“AONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Upon entrance, the entire team jumped him, tackling him to the ground while shouting praise and acclamations of joy loudly!

Aone was actually grinning, shoving the boys off of him to pretend that he was annoyed.

But anyone could tell that this mountain man was on cloud 9!!!!

Futakuchi reached out his hand to help Aone up and the mountain man took it. They shared a look that only Aone knew meant his best friend was happy for him. Proud of him.

Actually, Kenji’s look was one of happiness and pride, yes, but it was also full of nerves for his friend’s potential heartbreak. But Aone was too overjoyed inside to pick up on that.

“So Y/N finally knows your name!” Koganegawa yelled as he jumped on Aone’s back.

Shrugging the big boned setter off, Aone blushed. He has never been happier in his entire life and it was kind of embarrassing that the whole team knew why that was.

“I’m very happy.” Aone nodded at his team who smiled brilliantly back at him. “But please, do not get your hopes up. I’m trying with everything in me not to get mine up, in case Y/N decides she doesn’t like me. She and I are just going to start talking for now. And for that I am grateful.” Stomach in knots, Aone bowed to his team in thanks for all the encouragement and praise.

“But Aone-senpai, Y/N asked you to lunch! We all watched you guys, she looked ecstatic talking to you and she even glared at these other girls in the hallway because they were checking you out!”

Aone’s heart dropped. “She did?”

Kenji smiled, patting him on the back. “Saw it with my own eyes too, big guy.”

Aone felt like he was so happy he could sing, but he knew how odd that would look coming from such a big and serious guy like himself.

“Oh. Well... that’s quite nice.”

What a turn of events! This morning, Aone was going through another day with a heavy heart because the love of his life would never like him back. Then, it only took him defending you against the class snitch for everything to change......

✏️ Earlier That Day ✏️

Aone was sitting in class like any other day, doing his work, listening to the teacher intermittently and your daily conversation with your friends. The teacher excused himself to run a club errand for 20 minutes, trusting the class to stay quiet and complete their homework. Like most typical high school classes, the volume raised as soon as the teacher stepped out. Aone glanced over at your talkative self for the 15th time that period and noticed how much you were glowing because your team had returned last night placing second at Regionals. You looked radiant, absolutely stunning with your brighter smile and louder angelic laugh.

In Mountain Man’s daydream, he imagined telling you that you looked beautiful today followed by a congratulations for placing second. You would rush over to him and kiss him in thanks then start ripping his clothes off so that you could—

“Y/N! I am sick and tired of you and the rest of the popular kids not listening to the teachers instructions! What part of ‘stay quiet’ is hard to understand in that pea brain of yours!?!??!”

To Aone’s left, sitting in his row, he looked for the yelling voice. It was who everyone (except Aone) called ‘the class snitch’ and school mascot: Tsume Lian.

Also known as Y/N’s arch nemesis.

Seating looks like:

Y/N glared at him.

“Tsume, no one was talking to you.”

“I know that, dork!” He fumed. “BECAUSE WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE TALKING! I’m trying to do my homework as asked, and you and the popular crowd just ignore everything the teacher says and it’s disgusting! I’m tired of it! I want you expelled!”

Aone noticed Y/N’s startled expression at the prospect of being expelled, because he knew from overhearing your conversations that your parents were this close to sending you to Seijoh to get your grades up and live on campus there. According to your gossip last week, if you failed another class or got another complaint from a teacher then your parents would under no circumstances allow you to cheer again.

Aone clenched his fists tightly around his pencil because he couldn’t stand the idea of seeing Motomu or Kindaichi drooling over you at his enemy school.

One of Y/N’s friends who Aone knew as Kusa, spoke up in defence of Y/N. “Oh shut it, Tsume. Us chatting isn’t bothering anyone else.”

“I don’t care! You cheerleaders think you can do anything you want and that’s that!! YOU WILL face repercussions if I can help it!”

Kusa feigned fear. She turned her entire body toward him in her seat, meaning business. A bitch had time today.

The entire class gave this drama all of their undivided attention when they witnessed that move, ready for the show like:

“Oh yeah?! And why are you just snapping about this now, huh? Why not before?” Kusa snapped. You put a hand on your friends arm, silently trying to tell her he isn’t worth her energy.

“Because I realized just how selfish, inconsiderate, and deplorable you good-looking, popular women are! You don’t deserve to be bowed down to like I thought! You should be treated like everybody else!”

“What are you talking about?” Y/N interjected. “No one treats us like that. Even if they did, we don’t ask them to nor do we ask to be popular and we especially don’t ask for special treatment, Lian. Why are you so mad??? Get your life.”

COLLECT HIMMMMMM 👏🏾👏🏾

Aone smirked to himself. In all his years of crushing on you he has never seen you look so fierce and he too put his pencil down to enjoy what was a different and fiery side of his crush. It made him want to fuck the shit out of you, you looked so sexy. Aone found he liked every side of you.

“I did have a life. I was a mascot and—“

“—And you were spending too much time looking up our SKIRTS instead of hyping up a CROWD, making the first years uncomfortable and borderline stalking Y/N so badly she asked that we terminate you! You are lucky she kept that to herself for so long! 🤬 And THAT’S why you’re mad!”

The class collectively gasped. Some whipped their phones out to snapchat the gossip. Aone widened his eyes in silence, since he was in between, he was looking back and forth at the fight like a tennis match.

Hahahaha 🎾 

Live footage of the classes reaction when Kusa READ TSUME FOR FILTH:

Tsume went red with anger, but anyone could tell that he was guilty guilty guilty !!!!

“When the teacher returns, I’m telling him and the principal the truth that you Y/N are a bully and you constantly disrupt the class! Who do you think they’re going to believe?! Their best student? Or their worst?! Say hi to AobaJohsai summer school for me!”

You frowned, scared out of your mind because Lian was right. The teacher’s believed everything he had to say and ever since you exposed him for sending you creepy messages and inappropriate pictures from a fake account that you knew was his, the class snitch has had it out for you. Even if the cheerleaders had your back, your parents would just think they are trying to protect you and never believe it! Tsume Lian was smart and dead set on planning your demise. It was unfair. You wanted to cry. Kusa whispered something to you in encouragement but you could feel the back of your eyes warming due to impending tears.

Meanwhile, with Mountain Man - Today was a day of firsts in his ‘Crushing on Y/N’ book. It was the first time he’s ever seen you glowing because of the Regional results, it was the first time he’s ever seen you so sassy, and now............. Aone notes that today is also the first time he’s ever seen you on the verge of tears before.

Unlike your glowing and your sassiness, Aone decided that he hated the last first more than anything in the world.

It consumed his emotions, how badly he didn’t want to see you cry.

“You really are slimy, Tsume. Wait until Katana hears this.” Kusa spat, rubbing her hand up and down Y/N’s back to soothe you as you willed your tears not to fall.

Seeing you so sad, Aone’s heart clenched.

He knew what it was like to be hurting but he never ever wanted that for you—not ever.

“Hey Y/N-chan, why don’t you show me that video your mom got of our reaction to us placing second yesterday?? I’d love to see it.” Kusa has accurately distracted you because she texted Katana what was happening and Katana knew just what to do until she got there.

You smiled, thinking about the overwhelming happiness from yesterday when your team placed second. You whipped out your phone and showed Kusa, smiling and giggling in a matter of seconds as it played.

Aone was glad you seemed good.

He turned to look at Tsume, who seemed to be raging inside. Shooting daggers at the two cheerleaders because they weren’t crumbling under his threats. They were laughing, in fact. Ignoring him as if he didn’t matter. Aone could tell Tsume was a ticking time bomb with how mad he was. His anger toward you looked severely unhealthy.

You let out a rather amusing laugh with Kusa as you two pointed to your screen and Aone’s heart skipped a beat because he loved that laugh so much. God, he is so fucking whipped.

When you laughed like that though, it sent perverted-snitch Tsume over the edge, bubbling over in anger like a piping hot kettle.

Aone watched him with studious eyes as Tsume took a deep breath to say something else that Aone was sure would stop your harmonious laughter that he adored......

“Y/N—“ Tsume started, but without warning, THE AONE TAKANOBU, DATE TECH MIDDLE BLOCKER, OUR MOUNTAIN MAN, interrupted him! Stopping all speech in the class with his simple, deep-voiced command:

“Leave her be. She’s having fun.”

The class:

The class went silent because they’d never really heard Aone’s voice before. :S

Still riled up, the class snitch took one look beside him (he was too distracted before) as to locate the voice. Once his eyes set on the verrrry muscular and verrrry mountainous man sitting between him and Y/N, he decided it would be smart to not be riled up anymore. A drop of sweat leaving his hairline, Lian scanned Aone’s gigantic body with his eyes, seeing that the volleyball player just barely fit in his desk—he gulped.

Aone had a relaxed expression, meaning to say what he said nonchalantly, but one needs to remember that Aone’s relaxed expression looks like this:

Needless to say, the ex-mascot almost pissed himself.

Is that Y/N’s b-b-boyfriend now? Tsume wondered to himself in panic as several more drops of sweat ran down his face.

“O-o-ok-o-o-oka-okay-y....” Tsume stuttered out as he turned back to his school work.

Five minutes later when the teacher came in, Tsume had nothing to say. He only had a sweat damped stack of homework to give him before he fled, not waiting for the bell of dismissal.

Did I frightened him? Aone thought.

He didn’t mean to. Sincerely. He was as gentle as giants come (except in bed if you rile him up enough or when someone is bothering you).

The class went back to normal and Aone continued working too.

But one person didn’t—no, couldn’t go back to normal:

You.

You sat in your seat still slack jawed because someone you didn’t know came to your rescue and quite possibly single handedly stopped your expulsion. How have you not noticed him before?! He is gorgeous!

Tall, muscular, handsome. Shiny white hair, beautiful lips. And he came to your defence.

In your opinion , he was a FINEASS mountain man! 🏔🤤

Yes ma’am!!!!

Anyway, while everyone was talking, working and minding their own business—including Aone—you slid out of your desk and bounced over to his happily.

“Hi! Thanks so much for defending me a little while ago!”

Bitch, this was you: ☺️😊😄

lost ass

Aone raised his head to look at you, jumping back slightly because he never even heard you approach. He stared up at you with a heart that stopped beating, absolutely speechless.

WHAT IS HAPPENING? He thought. YOU WERE TALKING................TO HIM? You were NOTICING..............HIM?!

😱😳🤯

You reached over to touch the handsome giant’s arm in his sweater, smiling at him endearingly.

“I’m Y/N! It’s nice to meet you!”

yeah you lost af, bitch 😐

Aone wanted to say something, he did. But he was just too shocked that the girl he thinks about nonstop, the girl he wishes was his, the girl he just had a wet dream about last night, was talking to him and only him for the first time.

Unexpectedly!

Takanobu always thought you two would first speak because of Futakuchi or the teacher but not because of him.

Aone couldn’t fathom the fact that HE made this happen! HE was the reason you were over here!

Aone: 🤯🤯🤯

It was ALL. TOO. MUCH.

He couldn’t speak.

You removed your hand from his arm, silently chastising yourself because you shouldn’t touch people without permission.

Not that Aone minded. That boy would want you to touch him anywhere, on anyday, at anytime that pleased you.

“Sorry.” You looked down shyly, then met his serious expression again, wanting to be sure he knew how grateful you were for his help.

“Um.... you probably don’t know this but you getting that pervert to leave me alone is quite possibly the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. And you did it for a stranger like me, no less.”

A/N: RUB IT IN THAT YOU DONT KNOW THE MAN MORE, WHY DONT YOU ?! 🤬

You tucked your hair behind you ear while holding his gaze. Aone could only nod because his throat was dry. You looked so incredibly perfect up-close and he wanted to make sure he remembered this. He just couldn’t speak.

Feeling a little awkward now because you just tried starting a conversation with this FINEASS classmate of yours to only get a nod in return, you laughed timidly.

“Okay, well I guess I’ll...” you turned on your heels so you could make your way back to your desk with your L. “....see you later.” You finished, telling him over your shoulder.

Much like when he defended you against Tsume, Aone didn’t know what came over him then: maybe it was all the memories of him feeling heartbroken that you’d never notice him or return his feelings—maybe it was the promise he made that he would do something toward pursuing you if you would just notice him first—or maybe is was because his best friend Kenji would have his HEAD if Aone told him he let you walk away right now without trying....... after TWO YEARS.........that compelled him to respond to your “see you later” bravely, FINALLY UTTERING WORDS TO YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE:

“When?”

^Asked Aone, just as you were walking away from him.

You stilled, feeling excitement in your body because he answered. You spun around and jumped back in front of his desk. You gave him a questioning look.

You responded, “When, what?”

Even though he was melting under your attention, Aone couldn’t give up now. He had to shoot his shot. This may be his only chance.

“When is later?” He elaborated.

Huh? You thought.

You blinked at the stunning classmate. What is he—OH, does he mean.....

“As in...when will I see you again?”

Aone nodded at you, holding his breath.

You massaged your chin, thinking 🤔.

You can admit you wanted to know more about this gorgeous man who came to your rescue. There was something about him that made you feel safe and warm. You couldn’t quite place it. You’ve never wanted to spend time with anyone outside of cheerleading more than this guy—so you owed it to yourself to explore that small feeling, right?

“Okay. Well, how about now? Lunch is after this period. Would you want to have it with me?!” You asked cheerily.

Though he didn’t show it, inside, fireworks went off in Aone’s mind, heart, and stomach...!

Actual footage:

Aone nodded quickly. Way too quickly for someone who did not want to come across as the most eager beaver in the world.

But he was...... and you noticed. It made you smile.

“Okay. So when the bell rings you can walk me to my locker and I’ll put away my stuff, then we’ll go to yours....then we can go head to lunch together. Sound good?”

Aone nodded quickly again!

You gave him the big smile that made him become a simp for you in the first place and you took your seat again.

Takanobu was so excited he literally almost stood up to spin the hand clock that hung up beside the door himself so that time could go by faster. He couldn’t even move to text Kenji because he knew his hands would shake.

He just sat there, his mind whirling mad until the bell finally rang. You said bye to Kusa and watched as this blonde hottie stood up from his seat, towering over you.

God, he was so freaking HOT! You wanted to jump him.

At the same time students filed out of the class, Aone turned to you as he collected his things then slung his bag over his shoulder.

“May I carry your books for you, Y/N?” Mountain man asked sheepishly in his stern voice.

Your heart fluttered by how cute and sweet he was to ask!

“Umm, sure! Thank you so much!” You smiled and handed your heavy books over.

You two walked beside eachother and Aone held the door open for you. You didn’t know why he was being so nice but you couldn’t lie that you felt very charmed.

“Y/N.”

You looked up at the handsome giant with curious eyes after he called your name.

“My name is Aone Takanobu by the way. You introduced yourself before, but I did not answer. I’m sorry. Either way, I knew who you were already. It’s very nice to meet you.”

Your smiled widened as you bounced on your feet while walking. “Very nice to meet you too, Aone Takanobu. I’ve actually heard of you before.”

Aone’s eyes lit up like 👀

“Wait r-really?”

Omg precious bby 🥺🥺🥺

“Yes. At a cheerleading sleepover. All good things, don’t worry. It’s just funny because I said that night how hopefully I’ll meet you and now here we are!”

Aone chuckled as he held open another door for you. When he did and you two walked down another hall, he caught sight of two very conspicuous volleyball players (one looked eerily like Justin Bieber, the other looked big boned) hugging eachother and slumping down to the ground at the sight of you and Aone. Aone rolled his eyes, thinking that they were lucky you never noticed your surroundings.

“Here we are.” Aone repeated, shooting a secret thumbs up at his friends who were on the verge of crying.

***

Nearing the end of an enjoyable lunch for both of you where you spoke a lot and Aone listened with heart eyes: he pulled your chair out for you, he was responding, he was chuckling, and overall hanging onto your every word, never wanting your time together to end. You became rather smitten.

***

“The bell is gonna ring soon, Aone. I just want to thank you again for buying my lunch and spending this time with me! I know it was super random!”

Aone got lost in your eyes as you said his name, because he’s never taken a moment to analyze how nice it could sound if it was caressed by your voice. Also, he’s never heard his name said by someone so beautiful (when it wasn’t being said in a question). He was BATHING in joy.

Although Aone didn’t answer and he’s maintained his stoic expression the entire lunch, deep down you felt that this man had a thing for you. He was very intense so it was quite obvious. But since you enjoyed the lunch so much and you were starting to have a thing for him, too, you wanted to confirm:

“Also, Aone-san, I’m happy to know that you can say more than 4 words 😲! I asked my friend earlier and she said you basically never speak.” You exclaimed, fishing.

Aone smirked, feeling the need to defend himself on that front. “It is true that that is the consensus of the majority of people who come in contact with me. However, that is because there exists few people, that I feel inclined to speak to.”

Hook, line, and sinker. Your eyes twinkled at his words. He looked like a jock but sounded so eloquent! You loved it:

“Oh wow well you spoke a lot to me today so I guess I must be a little special then, huh.......?” You twirled your hair around your index finger as you asked, causing Aone to almost drool.

listen, you...kind of..... wanted mountain man.

And you were only flirting minimally okay.....minimally, so don’t judge

You just wanted to know if your suspicions were right that he had a little crush on you or if he saw you as a friend

Aone looked down at you, thinking of a way to respond to you asking if you were special to him.

A/N: 😣🤞🏾AONE DONT CREEPY 😣🤞🏾DONT BE CREEPY 😣🤞🏾DON’T BE CREEPY 😣🤞🏾

“This is our first time speaking. So I am not entirely sure if you’re special yet...” He started.

You quirked your eyebrow attractively, anticipating how he would end that sentence.

“...But I hope that even after this lunch ends I can take you out again a few more times, Y/N-chan—somewhere nice and off-campus, perhaps—so that I can truly decipher whether you are or not.”

You quirked your eyebrow even higher, impressed by the smooth way he told you he wants to keep seeing you!

WELL SIS HES ONLY HAD 2 YEARS OF PRACTICE I MEAN—

“I’d love to.” You accepted, making Aone smile.

He was absolutely stunning when he smiled, it was almost unfair.

The bell rang.

“Mind walking me back to my locker, Aone?”

Aone stood on internally shaky legs that he willed to be normal. “Of course.” He took both yours and his tray and dumped it out before escorting you out of the cafeteria.

✏️ Back in the Locker Room ✏️

“We are happy for you, Aone.” Kenji patted his large friend on the back.

“I had your voice in the back of my mind, Kenji-san. I owe this happiness to you and your support. I know you’re worried that I’ll get my heart broken and be crushed but I’m thankful for you supporting me anyway. You will forever be my brother.”

———————————

Taglist: @crushzone @galagcica

Outtake #7: CLICK HERE

THE VOTE! ☑️

Upcoming outtakes (NSFW):

Losty Aone answering Kenji’s call while you’re having sex. He told you to please wait but...um....no. Hang up, buddy 😈

When you tease poor Losty Aone during class and make him want to f*ck you hard

You telling Aone that you’re horny before his game knowing you’d be cheering next to him the whole time being suggestive

Sending Aone a nude for the first time

First Kiss (In which Aone gets his first urge)

Discovering Aone’s ear kissing kink

Upcoming Fluff outtakes:

Aone on your first birthday as a couple

The official confession

Aone Embarrassingly telling Y/N about the things he did when he was crushing on you :/ (cupcake, donation, wet dreams, hoping to be your tutor, etc!)

When Aone fills in at one of your cheer practices!

Aone having to save you from your annoying admirers

Send me an ask/message/comment below with the number(s) of the outtake you really want me to write and the ones with votes will be done

Say “Losty Aone Story nsfw number ___” or “Losty Aone Story fluff number ___”

[entamewitchlulu]

ok so i saw a post that annoyed the shit out of me so i’m making my comments on my own post about it. not going to apologize for the length of this or the disorganization and ramblingness of it because I’m really annoyed.

anyway. someone made a post about hating “book culture people”. it annoyed me. first, let me remark on the thread’s points that i did agree with.

yeah. book elitists suck. people who interrupt your reading to say how amazing it is that people still read are annoying bitches. being into books isn’t what makes them bitches, tho.

people who shit on ebooks and audiobooks for not being “real books” also suck. i’m not arguing with that. they suck.

now to the parts i disagreed with that annoyed the goddamn shit out of me

ONE

The Point Made: “Most books suck”

My Response: 

??? way to go shitting on an entire goddamn industry of hard working individuals who pour their hearts and souls into writing stories for YOU to enjoy. Most books do not in fact suck and if you think they do, maybe you’re reading the wrong damn books. 

saying that “Most books suck” and we would lose nothing of value if we lost most of them is utterly horrifying for me to hear because one: again, it shits on the hard work of hundreds of thousands of people. Two, it shits on the reading interests of hundreds of thousands of people by implying that their reading choices are inherently awful and bad. Three, saying that losing large swaths of books would lose nothing of value from the cultural canon IS A FUCKING HORRIFYING TAKE.

I don’t care if you think that romance novel is trashy. Saying that nothing of value would be lost if it disappeared is not only rude to the author, rude to the readers who enjoyed it and found something to like about it, it’s also just -- what the fuck? I cannot believe I saw someone claiming to be a librarian responding to this post in the affirmative. If we lost large swaths of literature, trashy or no, that would be a devastating blow to the cultural record. Even if a book is terrible, it means something. It has meaning to who we are as people and what kind of stories we like to tell ourselves. I’m sure a lot of old timey novels that we still have copies of were once considered trash! Would it have been no great loss if Shakespeare’s plays were simply thrown away? If the epic of Gilgamesh was shattered before it could be learned from? Even the dumbest literature shows something about our culture, and someone who claims that most books are “extraneous” just makes me think that they’re the elitist here who thinks they know how to assign value and objective “goodness” to books.

I’ve read a fuck ton of books in my life! Reading used to be my all consuming special interest from age six to age fourteen before I got into other things. I read literally everything I could pull off the shelf. Hell, this year alone because of having to read so many children’s books for school, I’ve read somewhere around 85 books. They were from a huge variety of genres, fiction and nonfiction, from picture books to middle grade novels to YA to adult fiction, from fantasy and historical fiction to mainstream to classics to trashy romances. I say this not to brag because I don’t think the number of variety of books makes me better than anyone else. I only say this to show that I have seen a pretty decent chunk and scope of the available literature out there currently so I think I have a pretty good foundation for what I’m talking about.

Were all of the books I read good? No! But were most of them “awful, extraneous, and we’d lose nothing of value if they disappeared?” Holy shit no! Some of them weren’t my cup of tea. Some of them were poorly written. Some of them were probably just written for a paycheck. Some of them were culturally appropriative, clumsy at representation, or at the absolute worst, totally terrible bullshit. But most of them were decent. Most of them did the job they were supposed to do to tell the story they wanted to tell. A lot of them were enjoyable. All of them contributed some perspective on humanity, no matter how trashy they were, by giving us a window into what is important to people, what stories are important to our society, and adding to the cultural record about who we are, right now, in this snapshot of life. 

Can you imagine how excited historians would be if they had access to as wide a breadth of literature from other eras as is available now? How many mass market books from the beginning of the printing press are gone now that would have been incredible looks into that era of history and what stories were found to be important? There were probably silly folktales in many of the ancient libraries of old that are gone forever, that people back then may have thought were dumb, useless, and said nothing about their culture - what historian wouldn’t KILL to have access to that “useless literature”?

Writing off nearly every book in existence because you think they’re all extraneous is enough to make my blood boil, but I think I’ve beaten that point enough.

TWO

The Point Made: people who have things like tote bags that say “books are the best” are dumb and it’s performative if you have one of those tote bags or mugs that imply at all that you enjoy reading, you’re clearly a terrible, performative annoying person who brags about all of the classics you read

My Response:

now here’s where the new brand of elitism really kicks in where y’all go like “yeah i like books but I’m not like those other icky readers ugh.” What the fuck is wrong with carrying a tote back that says “I <3 books”? Why are you all so quick to tear people down for daring to have fun, cute things that say innocuous, innocent things on them because they refer to things they like?

Again, when I was a kid? Reading was an all-consuming special interest. I inhaled books. I took home the max my library card would allow me every week. I carried tote bags with sayings on them about books. I wore library t-shirts.

It wasn’t performative. It was an expression of something that meant so much to me that I wanted to make it a part of my aesthetic and style.

Nowadays? I wear a lot of anime t-shirts. And I often see people, even my mutuals, say that it’s cringey or weird to do so. But you know what? Fuck that! It sparks fucking joy! I like wearing comfy t-shirts with cute graphics of my favorite characters on them! It makes me happy! I like having anime keychains on my keys, and using anime character lockscreens on my phone. I don’t do it to perform to others just how much I like my favorite characters, I do it because I PERSONALLY LIKE IT!! It’s not for you! It’s not to show off! It’s cause it makes me happy! I assure you that most people who like that aesthetic aren’t doing it to show off how cool they are for liking books, they just think the damn aesthetic is cute and it matches their interests.

Shitting on people for liking “book aesthetics” is literally one degree away from “not like other girls” and I cannot believe I have to see this new brand of elitism with my own two eyes. Stop assuming that things people do, the things they wear, the things that make them happy, are specifically to piss you off. It’s not about you.

If you don’t like the way someone talks to you about books, if you’re annoyed by their takes on ebooks, audiobooks, etc., say THAT! don’t throw entire swaths of people under the bus just because you’re annoyed with a handful of people for being annoying. There are annoying people in every hobby, it’s not indicative of something rotten with “”””the culture””””””. It’s indicative of assholes being in everything.

Anyway. Y’all say you’re against cringe culture and then you make something new to laugh at. It’s just replacing one brand of elitism with another. 

Let people live their damn lives.

[softly-savage-mint-yoongi]

writerly contemplation tag!

I was tagged by darling @j-pping to do this deep af and reflective set of questions that she hand picked herself (<3). I love shit like this, thank you dear!!!

2020

what was the most challenging part of writing this year? Hm, for sure I’d have to say being consistent with updates. Not because I feel some immense pressure or get hate mail about it, but because I feel a little guilty and sad when I can’t update regularly for not only readers but myself because I love it. I also feel like half of the battle of writing more is when you’ve had this long stint of nothing so you have to go back and collect all of your work and reread your notes or even chapters to make sure you’re back in the right timeline/headspace to write the next part. I keep a notebook in my purse that is strictly for writing fanfiction (asdaslkdfsdfjgk), and it’s where I jot down like ideas for a scene or dialogue or how I want something to go. Character developments/important rites of passage or growth, etc. I go back and read up on my notes a lot and it can be exhausting when you’ve been away from writing for even just a month. what was the most enjoyable/rewarding part of writing this year? Without a doubt it was the journey of Allotrope. Y’all know why because I harp on it a lot. There’s something really grand and profound about writing a piece that not only speaks to readers but literally helps the creator grow over the length of time it was being written. Side note also all of the friends I made this year by writing! Y’all are literal angels and I love all of you. what piece has left the most impact on you and why? Hm... I think, again, Allotrope’s development from start to finish was really important for reasons mentioned above and in past posts. In all ways it was a heartbreaking story that makes you feel vulnerable and protected at the same time, forgotten by some characters and loved deeply by others. It feels real and relatable for readers. It’s also left me with the unexpected but appreciated realization that I am capable of writing something like that, and the pride that I did. What have you learned about yourself through the process of writing this year? I have definitely learned to love and accept myself a whole lot more, and a lot of that came through writing. Be it via my own struggles being written into my works, or my passion for art in all forms but especially drawing and writing, or the connections I’ve made with others (readers and content creators alike). The stories of personal struggles we’ve all shared and the close-knit community of support and acceptance and love is a breathtaking pillar of strength I had not expected to find in the kpop fanfic community, and yet, here we are, as one, especially in the EXO community. Through those connections, all of which were born of writing something, I got a lot more of myself back than I had originally thought was lost the year prior. I am very grateful. how has your writing changed in the past year? How have you grown? I used to be your typical smut writer and there’s nothing wrong with that because who doesn’t love a good down and dirty romp. I still enjoy writing those kinds of pieces, but more than anything I realized I absolutely THRIVE on emotional work. I want what I write to make people feel, and feel deeper than lust. I want then to feel everything between despair and elation on the emotional scale. Especially if readers are already feeling enough anxiousness and depression in their daily lives, that relatable connection to characters and being able to feel better by reading something and experiencing those emotions that heal along the way in a story with a good ending is really important to me as a writer. The comfort of it. I think that kind of awareness is how I’ve grown the most this year.

2021

ignoring your wips for a second, if you had all the time and energy in the world to write your magnum opus piece, what would it be about? Why is that the dream story you’d write, all other things controlled for? Hm, honestly? I think I did it this year with Allotrope. I had in no way, shape or form anticipated the knockout punch to becoming a moderately known writer in the EXO community with that piece. If I had to choose another one, I am a real weak bitch for fantasy and superhuman AUs. Magic or superpowers, either or. Ernest Cline is one of my favorite authors and I actually want to write a book someday about an alien race fleeing across the galaxies from some inevitable danger of another world-eating race and one day they come to earth in the form of some kind of like star shower. They’re tiny and fall to the earth like snow or rain or dust and the first one that lands on a humans skin fuses to it and awakens some sort of dormant power in a human (usually based on demographics or environments (could be stress, weather, things like that (examples: police officers stress-related being shot at, so they develop force fields or become bulletproof. Firefighters can walk through fire unscathed or manipulate it; kinds of abilities like that.)). So these tiny creatures inhabit a human host (a 1:1 ratio) and basically the humans accept it without going into detail and essentially the use of these powers or abilities helps the alien species survive the onslaught that eventually comes via the world-eating alien species. In very Ernest Cline style, a battle to save humanity and the Earth.

how do you want to grow in your writing this year? I’d really like to get better with my sentence structure. When I get in the zone and write, it just comes out plain and simple. Elegant and captivating writing has a variety of sentence structure, especially in dialogue, so I’d really like to get better with that this year. I want to be better about being cognizant of it instead of going back to restructure or reorganize sentences over and over, because that gets exhausting and can end up looking sloppy. For me- when I go back and read my own work that’s had parts edited in that way rather than a whole- I can pick up on it while reading and it annoys me, hahaha. what’s one thing you wish to see in the fan-writing community this year? I don’t have any particular wishes but I think it would be cool to see more fan art from pieces. That’s been hard to do though since December 17th, 2018, regardless of adult content or not. As Jae said, more authors coming into the community too would be nice. :) I think, especially for EXO, the fanfic writing community is pretty tight-knit because of one reason or another, and that’s fine, but the more the merrier! <3 name one new thing you want to try doing with your writing this year? Honestly? Nothing more than what I am doing currently. I want to finish the series for An Adventurer’s Guide to Romance, especially since there are only 5 left and one is 1/3 of the way written. I will get Heat Seekers started, cautiously because quite frankly it is not lighthearted in any way. Fluff in this story will be nonexistent or scant under a microscope at best. I suppose you could say that’s what I want to try that’s new this year- raw and painful just... brutal emotion with moderate angst. Or, probably write a piece for Stray Kids since I haven’t yet and they’re very, very quickly renting space in my head for free. --------

Tagging: @jenmyeons, @kyungseokie, @guardians-of-exo, @jiminbbyboy, @saebyeog-i or anyone else who wants to do this! I know Jae tagged most of you already so I won’t lol. Forgive me if I’ve missed anyone! <3

[alwaysupatnight]

6, 10, 12, 14, 15, 17, 18, 21, 27, and 28 tee hee! 😝💖

Thanks so much, @astarkey!! haha So many asks!! :D

6: What’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to writing? TSTL characters!! Also like. Drawing out a story for the sake of selling more books when the story could’ve been wrapped up in half the amount of books...? That’s annoying too.

And also the whole concept of Word of God? Where the author/creator explains something confusing or vague because they either couldn’t or didn’t go into detail in the actual story? Not that I hate it necessarily. But like if it’s not included in the actual material, you can’t expect people to take it as canon. imo If this detail was so important to the story, it probably should’ve been IN the story, you feel me? lmao Like take FDTD for example. In season 1 we’re led to believe that Kate is 17. It basically comes from her own mouth. But sometime during the time skip into season 2, it was discovered on the show writer’s twitter that she’s 18 now. How tf were we supposed to know that otherwise??

Another pet peeve I’ve got is messy or vague worldbuilding. Take FDTD for example again. lol The culebras as a species do not have very cut and dry rules. Some of them can withstand sunlight to a degree, while others explode into dust in a few seconds of direct sunlight. They drink blood, but they also eat food? Is it just for enjoyment or sustenance or what?? And they can piss, but is that it for bodily functions?? Do they shit too?? lmfao They literally do not explain anything and it’s so annoying!! :P

10: What’s your favorite trope? Ummm right now it’s domestic fluff and family feels. :P

12: Which trope would you absolutely abolish? LOVE TRIANGLES. Also fridging female characters. This is why I loved the Netflix Daredevil and Punisher series!! They let Karen be important to the story (and not as a source of man pain)!! I know she actually dies in the comics or whatever. idk I don’t read comics. lol

14: Do you have a go-to AU? Umm... not really?? Like for reading it depends on what’s available. lol For writing, I always want to do zombies but I never actually do...? My most common au I’ve written has been like. Domestic fluff. :P

15: What kind of character do you wish you saw portrayed more often? Maybe like normal kid characters that aren’t cool little precocious smartasses? Why does every kid have to be some kind of genius? Maybe they’re just dumbass little kids because they haven’t actually learned anything yet?? lol I just watched Jojo Rabbit and it was so good for this reason, y’all!! And characters who get to be gentle and soft but still have moments of power and fearlessness (and who don’t get mf killed!!).

17: What’s more draining: writing smut, fluff or angst? ANGST OMFG. This is part of the reason why updates for culebra seth have taken me so long, ngl. I JUST WANNA GET TO THE FUN STUFF. lol Smut is still a challenge too though. Haven’t written any in a while...

18: Are you a ‘neatly designed outline’ writer or a ‘fuck it i’ll figure it out as i go’ writer? My outlines are messy af and so much of my stories remain undetermined. But I really try to make an outline and leave a little room for new ideas as I go along. I’m willing to scrap parts of the outline if that means the story works better in the end, even though that can be scary when you’re not sure where it’s going. I have to know the end though or I might lose motivation!!

21: Would you like to write an alternative ending for any of your favorite shows/books/etc? I mean... it’s not my favorite show tbh but I would give fdtd a proper ending. lol It needs one. But in general... no. Not my faves. If a book/show/etc is lucky enough to be considered my fave, that means I see nothing wrong with it and I’m happy with the way it ended. :P Sometimes crappy endings can change your feelings on the rest of an otherwise amazing story, but those don’t end up being my faves.

27: coffee shop AU or florist AU? Everyone does coffee shop aus. For this reason I would like to see more florist aus. Also because DJ was a florist in that show Windfall wasn’t he? lol WHY HAS NO ONE WRITTEN A SETHKATE FLORIST AU? or if they have I totally missed it. Although I definitely wouldn’t say no to more sethkate coffee shop aus.

28: stuck in an elevator AU or camping gone bad AU? haha Well the movie Prospect was basically camping gone bad. :P haha idk. I would be more inclined to read about my faves getting stuck in an elevator I guess.

ASK ME: Reading/Writing Ask Meme

[kariachi]

The Gwike- and it pains and shocks me to say this as much as it does y’all to read it- was real and enjoyable in one of my dreams last night.

Well, I say Gwike, the pining was real. Namely Gwen’s pining. Mike and Kevin may also have been pining but I woke up before I could get enough time on Mike’s end to get plot and pining like I did with Gwen, and I didn’t get a shot with Kevin at all.

But yeah, there was a good amount of Gwen pining over Mike and a bit of her pining over Kevin (because go big or go home, I suppose, she clearly has a type and that type is “cannibal”) it was surprisingly good, most likely because she very openly acknowledged both their positive and negative traits, along with how they’re both fucked up, and then, here’s the big part

She acknowledged her own positive and negative traits alongside those of her family, and

Lamented that she had a lot of stuff to grow out of and unlearn before she could make a move on either boy because her bullshit would not do anyone any favors in the long-term mixed with theirs.

There was pining! There was self awareness! There was the understanding of ones own need to grow as a person! I’m sad I don’t remember details or I would write this fucking fic!

I’m also sad I didn’t get dropped into the plot early enough to have more of a clue what was going on there. Is like I got dropped into the early-middle of a half save-the-world half Mike-redemption fic, where he’s not not a bad guy yet but he’s stepping up to the plate. Doesn’t help that it was very clearly an AU so I had no context for half of what was going on plotwise. Like if someone showed you the first 20 minutes of The Twin Towers and asked you to summarize LotR.

I think there was some degree of royalty on Mike’s end though? It felt like his side of the plot involved him struggling with his own shit while having to step up to that sort’ve very public leadership role, and lending the power that came with it in support of the Tennysons for the sake of, well, save-the-world shit. There was also family drama there? Like, he wasn’t so much taking a throne as acting as the voice of it and there was a relative in the background watching him like a fucking hawk for any slip-ups?

Basically Gwen had drama and growth and pining, Mike had drama and growth and possibly pining I didn’t get the chance to find out, and who the fuck knows what was going on with Kevin I didn’t even see him nonetheless get his pov.

But yeah, that was all a thing and I’m sad because I liked this Gwen, and this Mike was going in good directions, and finally some quality fucking shipping shit from Ben 10, and just.

If you’re anyone who isn’t me, feel free to use this as inspiration for anything as long as it involves Gwen being self-aware and admitting that she’s got bullshittery to unlearn and outgrow.

[cuddleslutloki]

I have a genuine question. How often do you actually deal with antis? I've been following you for a bit now and it seems every so often you bring up antis. I've certainly kept my interest about thorki shut and locked away in a box from my friends for the simple fact that all of them think it's incest. It's not an easy topic of conversation but you just seem to handle all the antis so well? Also on an off note about beast!Thor, his favorite pass time must just be rutting into Loki 24/7 🤔

when someone tells you that you're romanticizing abuse [bc i made a stockholm moodboard for a fic] I don't know what I'm supposed to say other than I don't condone it but I write about it? Is writing about abusive relationships bad in writing??? you're the only person i ask for advice so thank you for anything in advance

i’m honestly really glad you came to me. i really do like discussing this topic in this kind of way bc i’ll never reblog an anti or answer an anti ask. even if you’re arguing against them, i don’t think it’s worth it to argue against them if it means also spreading what they’re saying

the basic premise of all anti behavior and ideology is censorship. that’s all it is. 

“i don’t like this topic, you need to stop writing it and making art for it. if you don’t stop there will be consequences.”

that is censorship and that is the kind of shit fandom has had to fight ever since there’s been fandom. women, poc, lgbt+ folks have been dealing with people telling us what we can and can’t write and enjoy for... well, probably forever. but we’re still here, creating the kind of content we want to see and indulge in.

as far as how to deal with antis, my advice is to ignore, ignore, ignore. they want what any bully wants: attention

you stop paying attention, you stop giving them time they don’t deserve from you, they’ll die off. there’s no point in fighting them directly. produce the content you want to see and enjoy what you want to enjoy. drown them out. you don’t owe them a response just because they come to you. they don’t have any qualms about being rude to you, so be rude back and just ignore them. i love blocking antis, personally. take out the garbage, y’know?

antis use the words ship and support as synonyms because they think that shipping is some radical call to action for lgbt rep instead of entertainment

shipping is not activism. shipping is about entertainment and enjoyment, nothing more

so this is why i have this very blasé attitude about antis. i just don’t give a fuck about them beyond making posts trashing their idiocy. because that’s what it is. it’s idiocy, but going deeper it’s puritanism at its finest. antis use fox news scare tactic logic under the guise of some pseudo feminist agenda because they don’t understand and don’t want to understand that enjoying dark fiction as entertainment isn’t equivalent to some greater moral stance

they use the same argument about shipping and fanfiction that WASP moms use against video games and loud music: that enjoying and consuming it will make you think it’s normal and there’s nothing wrong with it irl

okay, well, vlad the impaler never played CoD or far cry and caligula never watched hentai but we know why i’m bringing them up in this context without even heading over to wikipedia, don’t we?

they use the words abuse and pedophilia waaaaaayy too liberally and they’re doing more harm than good because they’re twisting and warping words that should have very specific meanings by using them so goddamn vaguely and irresponsibly 

my own personal theory is that these people are terrified that if they don’t yell in opposition to these topics 24/7 and actively attack content creators that they’d probably enjoy it, and they’ve been so programmed by the echo chamber of tumblr and twitter that they think this means they’re bad people. 

spoiler alert: that’s not what it means

i literally watched a circle jerk on twitter where screenshots of some mafia starker au got tweeted and retweeted w/ pictures of someone pouring bleach into cereal and people had asked to see more of the post. if you really don’t like something, you shouldn’t hate-read about it. it’s not productive, it does more harm than good if that’s the actual issue rather than some reverse psychology-style enjoyment they’re probably getting out of it.

they claim to hate this shit so much, but they’re reading hundreds and thousands of words and putting these images in their heads of their own free will. i don’t do that with shit i genuinely dislike. i avoid it.

i see antis say they enjoy thorki fanart because they think it’s cute, then they see it’s tagged thorki and they have an over the top reaction because the nature of anti ideology states you should never enjoy something like that, so if you do then you have to make the excuse of ignorance to prove that you’re still innocent and pure. enjoyment is apologism to them because they aren’t content to simply attack fan creators, they want to try and drive away the people who consume our art as well because they know you’re the cornerstone of fandom. consumers are why creators create. yeah, i write because i enjoy it, but i also write to connect to my readers and have people commenting on my fics when they like them.

it’s also worth noting that antis only ever talk about shipping. they only talk about sexual and romantic ships. i’ve never seen an anti talk about (often extreme) levels of violence in canon source material for the ships and characters they want to froth at the mouth over. 

seeing someone bleed out and choking on their own blood after being stabbed or shot or bludgeoned? meh

seeing a character who was once a child have a sexual thought about a character who was also once a child and is also their close friend? omg why are we trying to make fandom unsafe for people?

personally, i’ve also noticed that fandoms with darker canon material tend to have more chill fandoms most of the time. i think it also depends on the average age in a given fandom. there’s a major difference between fannibals and steven universe fans, let’s just say that.

creating a moodboard for a dark fic is not “romanticizing abuse” and at this point antis honestly have no fucking idea what that phrase is. they use those words the way a bored CEO uses social media buzzwords and hashtags in a staff meeting

if antis want to see true romanticizing of abuse then they can go to serial killer thirst tags and spot the fucking differences between shippers and people who forget that ted bundy was weak, flaccid, cowardly piece of shit

writing something dark or violent or whatever else and condoning the act or doing the act are different. this is why stephen king isn’t under government surveillance or in prison.

make no mistake, this anti shit only applies to fandom. they’re attacking creators here because creators out at the professional levels don’t give a fuck. they’ve tried, and they’ve failed. 

creators at the professional level understand something antis don’t: that being able to reconcile your enjoyment of dark media can be a sign of emotional intelligence and good emotional health. it’s cathartic. it’s allowed to be cathartic.

the most common consumers of dark fiction are members of minority communities and people who’ve been emotionally and/or sexually repressed for one reason or another. 

antis want to say that fiction doesn’t exist in a vacuum and they are 100% correct! because writing fanfiction and original fiction that relates to parts of my life that nearly killed me gives me control over something that was beyond me in the original context. writing about fucked up codependent, violent romance allows me to process my shit in a way that’s healthy and produces something fun and enjoyable.

my therapist knows i ship thorki, she knows i write thorki. i’ve had her read pieces of fanfiction i’ve written in addition to pieces of original fiction. y’know what she said? “wow, baylen, that’s vivid. you have a way with words!”

i read her a line out of smart boy and told her what the story was about and this trained professional said “well it’s a productive way to process some emotion that you clearly need to let out”

but you know what? if someone doesn’t have the trauma i have? let them write it, too! let them create and enjoy the fictional content they want! more cake, y’all!

finally getting around to one of the first parts of your ask, lol. thorki is incest. thor and loki are brothers. they were raised believing they were blood brothers, even. loki being adopted doesn’t change a thousand years of personal history where thor looked at loki and thought that they came out of the same woman, y’know? 

that’s his brother and in the comics his attachment to loki is even more intense. the mcu nerfed that shit. loki’s life has been intrinsically tied to thor’s ability to feel a full sense of joy. 

enjoying an incest ship isn’t some sign of moral depravity. writing abusive relationships isn’t bad. gone girl was made into an award winning movie. art should look like life, and sometimes life fucking sucks. dark stories, sad stories, fucked up holy shit idk if i can go to sleep after i read this stories exist for a reason. we need them. we have to have an outlet for our frustration, our anger, and especially our fear.

so which is the healthier option of these

to write up a piece of fanfiction where two siblings are in love in a way that might be cute and soft or might be destructive, depending on your mood?

or

attacking strangers you don’t know online and threatening violence against anyone who doesn’t think like you do?

i know what kind of person i want to be.

ship and let ship, thanks for reading my doctoral thesis office hours are always

[arrantsnowdrop]

I Promise - Theseus Scamander x. Platonic Reader (angst)

Request: “Can you write a Theseus x reader fanfic from fantastic beasts where reader is theseus’ assistance and is the one mostly there to comfort him after leta’s death, but Theseus pushed her and everyone else away while becoming a workaholic? Something like that, a mix of angst and fluff?”

Tags: @littleyellowladybugg (I hope you know that I kinda nailed the request but I also kinda went off on my own path, so I’m really sorry if you don’t like it)

Warning: really sad. So sad that I just got more and more sad as I was writing this. Metions Leta’s death (plus the deaths of all the other aurors when they all went to that Grindelwald meeting). Fluffy if you squint. Around 1,400 words.

A/N: I said it in the warning but I’m gonna say it again: this is sad. But I really liked writing this, so if y’all wanna request some fluff or smut or happier stuff for Theseus (or Newt we love Newt, too), I’d be so down. It’s been super cold and icy and snowy all day so I hope everyone is staying warm, unless you live in some place that’s already warm, in which case I am extremely jealous. I hope you like this, thanks for reading! <3

Every morning at ten minutes to nine you walked into Theseus’s office and put a medium sized cup of tea on his desk, then head to your office in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. The tea was from a café in downtown London that the two of you had enjoyed going to since your sixth year at Hogwarts, and seeing as Theseus consistently got to work two minutes before he was supposed to, you always brought him some.

You’d performed this routine every morning for the last couple of years, ever since you’d both begun working at the Ministry. You had been best friends at Hogwarts, and although you’d never had much interest in law enforcement, the two of you had wanted to work together. You had served as an intern in the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad, and now worked in the Oblliviator headquarters. Your office was only one floor above Theseus’s, and although you were both constantly swamped by work, your close proximity guaranteed you saw each other several times every day.

“(Y/n)! Couldn’t help but overhear the story of that year four down in Kent who released a whole three boxes of Cornish pixies into his neighborhood last night!” he had called down the hall to you one afternoon.

“Good morning to you, too, Theseus!” you had replied. “I’m so sorry to hear about that case where the witch blew up her in-law’s home, why you must have been up all night!”

Small interactions like that were the main reason why you enjoyed your job. Not that you didn’t like what you did (performing forgetfulness charms on muggles was actually quite enjoyable) but getting to work in the same building as your lifelong best friend was your favorite thing about working at the Ministry.

You’d also become extremely close with Leta Lestrange, Theseus’s fiancé. You’d never had any sort of romantic attraction for Theseus, and thus harbored no jealousy towards Leta. In fact, you honestly thought that she had bettered his life. He seemed more home oriented and compassionate, and you had told her this on several occasions. Leta had become another best friend to you, and you were immensely grateful for both of their presences in your life.

Yet the job had gotten harder in recent months. Grindelwald’s crimes were not limited to the wizarding community, and you’d spent many a late night obliviating the minds of muggles who had seen too much.

Theseus had also been losing sleep. You watched sadly as your best friend grew more and more consumed by the hunt for Grindelwald and his followers.

“It’s 8:45, you’re hardly ever at work this early,” you said one morning not too many weeks ago as you handed him his tea across his desk.

“I didn’t go home last night,” he said, and only then did you notice the hideous bags under his eyes. He had clearly been missing sleep for more than one night.

“Theseus, you need sleep,” you had muttered, walking around his desk and placing one hand on his shoulder.

“I know, I know,” he replied quietly. “But three more witches have gone missing in the past week and it’s clear Grindelwald did it, I just don’t know where he’s taken them.”

“Theseus, you’re doing no good for anyone if you’re sleep deprived.”

“Their families are coming in today and I don’t even have anything to tell them. I don’t know where they are or what condition they’re in, or even if they’re alive at this point.”

You couldn’t come up with any sort of response to that.

It was rapidly growing more and more difficult, and many of the members of your department had been transferred to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement for the time being. You yourself had been working closely with Theseus, and by tracking the cases of illegal magical activity, you’d been able to find many of Grindelwald’s accomplices.

And then they had discovered the time and place that Grindelwald would be hosting a meeting for his followers.

“(Y/n), you have to come with us,” Theseus had told you during a short lunch break you were taking.

“I’m not an auror, I’d be of no use to you,” you stated.

“You’re still the best witch I know.”

“I’m not coming.”

“No one else in this department can cast spells with the same vigor and intensity that you do.”

“Don’t flatter me, Theseus.”

“Please?”

“Fine.”

Why you had agreed to go, you had no clue. Perhaps it was the fact that you’d never been able to resist helping Theseus, especially when he really needed it. But going on that mission resulted in you and Theseus and everyone else on that mission experiencing some of the most terrifying moments of your lives.

Who knows what would have happened if Nicholas Flamel hadn’t shown up when he did. You’d probably be dead, and you remember crying and hugging Tina after it was all over simply because you couldn’t believe you were alive. The whole experience had been overwhelming in every way, and you still felt emotionally and physically drained.

Watching members of the Ministry that you had known and loved for years be killed by Grindelwald and his followers and whatever that blue fire was made you feel so small and useless. You were of no use to the Ministry of Magic, and certainly not the aurors fighting against Grindelwald.

You weren’t at the Ministry, and you certainly didn’t have your cup of tea from London, but it was around ten minutes to nine and you were bringing a cup of tea to Theseus nonetheless.

You had accompanied Theseus and Newt to Hogwarts to meet with Professor Dumbledore, and were staying in the castle for the next few days until the situation could be sorted out and a plan could be formed.

“Theseus,” you called softly, knocking on the door of his room.

“I’m here,” came his muffled response. You opened the door to the room, an office turned storage closet with a cot shoved in the middle of it. Theseus was sitting up in bed, facing the window on the far side of the room.

“I brought you some tea,” you said, walking over to him and sitting down by his side.

“Thank you,” he said quietly, taking the mug from your hand and sipping on it. You noticed his tear stained cheeks, and the stacks of papers he had laid out in front of him.

Some were newspapers, others were old Ministry reports, a few were hand taken notes on pieces of parchment he had found in the office. All of them focused on Grindelwald, his whereabouts, and his next moves. He had been pouring over them for the last few days.

“Did you sleep at all last night?” you asked, picking up a piece of parchment to read. He mumbled something indistinguishable.

“What?” you looked at him.

“I said I should have known I was leading us into a massacre,” he said, only slightly louder, evidence of defeat prominent in his voice. “The evidence is all here and I didn’t see it. I should have known.”

“Theseus, Theseus no,” you said hurriedly, noticing the tears forming in his eyes. You grabbed the cup of tea from his hands and placed it on a table nearby, then wrapped him in a hug.

“It’s not your fault,” you said, holding him close to you. You could feel him sobbing silently, his tears wetting the shoulder of your sweater.

“It is,” he said, sniffling.

“It is not,” you said firmly, pulling back and grasping his shoulders so you could look him in the eye. “That night was many things but you are not responsible for any of it, Theseus.”

“They’re all dead and it’s my fault,” he said, still crying. “Leta’s dead and it’s my fault.” He sobbed suddenly, letting his face fall into his hands.

You pulled him back into a hug, offering him comforting words even though you knew he wasn’t listening. You were crying, too; both of you had lost an amazing friend, and it wasn’t fair.

“We’re going to get him, Theseus,” you said quietly, holding on to him tightly. “He’s not even going to know until he sees that green light.”

“You promise?” Theseus whispered, tears still spilling out of his eyes.

“I promise.”

[quilloftheclouds]

11/11/11 (... x7???)

You guys really love this tag game, huh? XD Tagged by @madammuffins, @bigmoodword, @shadeshadow234, @writeouswriter, @bookenders, @kaisha-writes, and @penzag.

Rules: Answer 11 (77 in this case??) questions, tag 11 people, write 11 new questions.

Taggin’ taggin’ @scottishhellhound​ @i-rove-rock-n-roll​ @capricious-writes​ @writerlyclaire​ @bookenders​ @kidsarentallwrite​ @inexorableblob​ @vieliwrites​​ @abalonetea​ @runningonrain​ @candy687​

Oof. It’s my own fault for letting these gather dust for so long. QUICKFIRE QUESTION ROUND. (And super duper long post below the cut.)

Okay first up I’m gonna post up my 11 questions for tagged people to complete up here so y’all don’t have to scroll all the way through my nonsense:

1. Put yourself in your wip(s). Are you dead? Why or why not? 2. What is your favourite kind of scene to write? 3. What genre is your favourite to write in? 4. What genre do you want to/wish you could write in? 5. Which of your ocs outfits would you consider wearing yourself? 6. What’s the worst thing you’ve done to your ocs (out of context if spoilers)? 7. What’s the nicest thing you’ve done to your ocs? 8. Does your writing style have any characteristic traits? What are they? 9. What are three things you think you’re good at in writing? (NO SKIPPING OF THIS QUESTION ALLOWED) 10. Do you listen to music/white noise while writing? What kind? 11. Come up with joke titles for your wips. What are they?

And now let’s get started!

Do you title your chapters, why/why not? Do they pertain to what happens in the chapter or are they random? I do! I may actually post them all up at some point, I had a lot of fun coming up with them, and I find them clever? A lot of them are puns, it’s great. All except the first and last chapter are titled with one word, related to the ocean or ships, alluding and symbolizing something that happens in that chapter. I made it a sort of word search, too, since every chapter title appears somewhere important in that chapter! As for why? I think it adds to the reading experience, especially with the way I employ them!

Do your main characters seem to have common traits or characteristics? Uhhhh, uh? Huh. Lemme see. I tried to be pretty creative and use a lot of variance in my characters, but sometimes they just... end up that way, whether I want them to or not. Dione and Phoenix are both tall? Both Phoenix and Colin can be pretty friendly and have the same sort of attitude towards certain things. Other than that, I’m not sure!

Why do you think this is? Honestly, it’s likely more coincidence than anything. Also because Phoenix and Colin both work on a ship’s crew, and they have to work well with other people because of that.

Do you borrow real life people or parts of real life people to insert into your novels? Why/why not? Yes. From me especially. Probably subconsciously from other people. It happens! But also, relatability. Accuracy.

Do you stick to a word count in your novels/chapters? Why? Used to, don’t now. It can really add to the tension if a chapter is very short. It can hold the reader in suspense if it’s very long!

What do you want your book to say to those who read it? What do you think your book says about you? Uh. I mean. I’m a simple writer who just likes sharing my worlds with the world, yunno? Maybe when I get further into writing it, I’ll realize what. (But I hope it shows I’m an interesting person that cares about representation and sharing exciting stories??? Mebe?)

If your WIP gets published and goes far would you sign over your rights for a movie adaptation, even if it means it gets butchered like the Eragon (or similar) series did? Ohhh gosh. Yeah no. I’d wait until I was sure it wouldn’t be. I’m not in this for the money or fame, I’m here for the enjoyment of it and the helping others through sharing stories with people they can relate to. Especially those that don’t have much to relate to already.

What is your favorite kind of character chemistry to write? Sexual tension, anger, resentment, jealousy? What about it do you like so much? I really like softness. Someone trying to cheer someone up, nice caring-ness and encouragement through humour and inside jokes. Gives me warm feelings. Oh. That sounds a lot like Colin.

Which settings are your favorites? Chill cafe, Gorey battle field? Why? I like natureeee. A lot. IRL and in writing. I especially enjoy fascinating, eccentric and magical seeming places even if they’re not magical! Think the Giant’s Causeway in Ireland, or the Ice Caves of Baffin Island. That sort of thing.

What element represents your main character and why? HAH SPOILERS. Elements play a major part of OSS, my friend. How about I just put the elements, and you decide who’s who. Earth, Fire, Storm, Forest.

If you could pick an AU for your WIP (alternate universe) for a fan work, what au would you choose and why would you choose it? AKJHKDJSH I’VE ALREADY PLANNED OUT MY OWN AUs, MY FRIEND. My fave at the moment is magical modern spies. Because a lot of my characters are immortal and I love to imagine what they would be like in modern times! ...Oh wait, that’s not what au means. -u-

1. Who was your first OC? Of One Siren’s Soul’s cast, Celestine! Overall, that I can remember... a German scientist/mechanical engineer named Suin Omera. Ah, so many memories. 2. What was the first story you ever wrote? That I can remember... a little short story for school about a girl who lost her dad and discovered he had been secretly living in the arctic for a long time so she goes to try and find him? I don’t remember much about it. ^^’ 3. What book (or other piece of media) has most inspired you? AH. Most??? Literally the unpublished books of my two closest friends. @waterfallwritings​, I’m looking at you. >u> 4. How do you fight writer’s block? Badly. 5. What is your favorite genre to write in and why? Fantasy and sci-fi! Or a mix. You can find a more full answer here. 6. How would you describe your writing style? Uhhhh, I have a very action-y writing style? Unless the sort of mood requires, I don’t tend to use a lot of description and I more often focus on action and dialogue and character thoughts/narrative. It’s fitting to what I write, I suppose, because it’s an action packed pirate adventure, with a lot of focus on character. 7. In general, do you think you’d get along with your protagonists? Phoenix and Colin are nice. Dione maybe after a long while, since we both like literature and plants. Celestine... no one ever gets along with Celestine. 8. What do you love most about your WIPs? Oh. I uh. Wow. I only have one right now, but I like characters and their interactions and their thoughts on each other. But mostly I just love how far I’ve come already. That the wip even exists. ^^’ 9. What is your favorite character trope? Ah. Not good with tropes... I reblogged something on this a while ago, but that scene where someone spends forever taking out a comically massive amount of weapons from unexpected places on their person? That’s fun. 10. What is your least favorite character trope? Mmmm hmm. Hm. Mostly ones that discriminate or are based on negative stereotypes. Some of them can be done well, but not... many. 11. What’s an upcoming scene you’re excited to write? Someone’s gettin’ STABBED.

What was your first character like? See in an earlier question ^^^

What’s your most recent character like? Oh, this is neat. Who’s my most recent character? Uhhhh, um. I think it’s actually... I don’t have a name for them yet, but it’s a young siren that appears in book two that helps our main cast on their adventure!

Out of all of your characters, who’s the least human in appearance? Hehe. HEH. Oohhhh, this would definitely be Light. You don’t know who that is yet.

Who’s your worst character, and what would you do upon meeting them? Worst? The Scientist. Punch to the face.

If you could meet any of your characters, who would you choose? Uh. It’d be really cool to meet Forest! You don’t know who that is yet, either. ^^

Two of your characters from different WIPs meet! How do they get along? I don’t currently have another wip, but from my prospective wip at the moment, meeting... Celestine. Surprisingly it wouldn’t be the worst, because both would just start nerding out about each other’s technology.

Which out of your OCs just wants to live life out peacefully? George is so done with this trash.

Which one of your OCs is most definitely not living their life out peacefully? I want to say George again for the jokes, but the worst off at the moment is probably Dione. Sorry, Dione!

Is there any songs that make you think specifically of any of your characters? Ohhhh yeah. I’ll likely be making a full post for that at some point, and that’s also on each characters part of the wip page, but to save time, have this.

Which one of your OCs actually had a pretty good childhood? Dione had a relatively normal childhood, for the pretty-near equivalent of a princess. That is, of course, until she turned 24.

Who would have a fistfight with god out of spite? This actually happens. This ACTUALLY HAPPENS IN MY WIP. It’s Celestine.

1. What’s the weirdest thing you were ever inspired by for one of your WIPs?

Hmmmm, I mean tardigrades are pretty weird, right? Also awesome. They’re one of the most resilient known animals, able to survive both some of the highest AND the lowest temperatures known to have ever been survived by an organism? Awesome.

2. Do any of your OCs have famous face claims? If so, who are they?

Colin’s face claim is Booboo Stewart! He’s pretty famous?

3. What’s your favourite season and why?

Autumn. Pretty colours, perfect temperatures with a small jacket/sweater, and you get to experience the whole range of seasons from early Fall to late!

4. Do you have any superstitions?

Despite being a very logically, scientifically minded person... I am a Maritimer, and superstitions are huge. Never ever say before you go fishing that you’re definitely going to catch something. You’ll be skunked.

5. Rural, suburbs, city, in which do you live and which do you most often write about?

I guess I most write about rural, since... wait, what does the open ocean count as?? Anyways, I live in the suburbs.

6. What’s your favourite book series?

I dunno ‘bout favourites, but I like The Edge Chronicles by Paul Stewart and Chris Riddell.

7. Is there a book/series that ever left you intensely disappointed? (Or one that left you pleasantly surprised?)

Uh... I mean, The Hunger Games was actually really good, but I was disappointed by the public’s focus on the love triangle?

8. What’s one of the weirdest/funniest out of context lines from your WIPs?

“Don’t tell me the boatswain has got ‘imself into the rum store again.”

9. A movie/show that made you cry? (Unless you’re dead inside)

AHHAH I AM DEAD INSIDE AND TRULY A FICTIONAL SOCIOPATH. But, I think Simon Birch is one I can recall getting misty eyed from.

10. What movies or books or shows do you think are criminally underrated?

Uuhhhhhh Treasure Planet is one? I’m not good at this one. OH. You wanna know some shows I loved way too much from my childhood? Hot Wheels: Battle Force Five, and Storm Hawks. I was a terrible nerd.

11. Which fictional character would you like to steal borrow from any world for a crossover with your own WIP?

Ehheee, honestly, I could work with anything, pretty much. But the magic system colliding with the Avatar from The Last Airbender? Ehehehe, that would be hilarious.

Do you own and fun socks? What are they? My best friend love fun socks, and for my birthday she got me some: I have two pairs, a black pair with colourful gardening tools on them, and one with little labelled garden herbs on them. They’re adorable and I love them. ^u^

How many notebooks do you have? What do they look like? How full are they? HAH. SO MANY. Most are sketchbooks, but out of notebooks, I have... three? One’s for schoolwork, one’s full of old writing, and one is for OSS notes.

Grab the book nearest you. Turn to page 70 (or 16 if it’s a tiny book). What is the 8th line on that page? How do you feel about it? Brown Girl in the Ring by Nalo Hopkinson: I haven’t actually had the opportunity to start reading it yet, but here: “She’d never seen him at work, never experienced him as the type of person who could tend to another’s needs.” Considering I have no idea what’s going on... I have no idea?

Have you read any short stories? What’s your favorite? I’m not much of a short story reader, but there was a really cool one from a sci-fi compilation (that I can’t remember the name of). It was about time travelling and how it had already been invented, but because no one could ever go back in time, they could only go forward, no one had realized. It was kind of sad, now that I think of it, since the MCs ended up trying to travel back to their time when warned against it and they end up alone in the far future. Whoops.

Have you ever tried knitting? Do you still knit? What about other crafty things? What do you make? I tried it when I was back at home, but at the moment I don’t have the materials! As for crafts, I’m trying to get into bookbinding, card making... other sort of paper crafts. ^^

Of the books in your living space right now, which has the coolest cover? I’m sad now because I basically have no physical books here... aw. Um, The Cloud Collector’s Handbook by Gavin Pretor-Pinney is really pretty. Pastels and colourful skies and clouds are my favourite~

Do you know any camp songs? What did you used to sing in school, or at recess? Oh stars. I’m a Cub Scout Leader, my friend. OF COURSE I know camp songs. What did I used to sing in school? What’s the one with the “That’s the way, uh huh, uh huh/I like it, uh huh, uh huh” with the special clapping? That one. What’s that?

What’s your favorite fairy tale? How would you twist it? Well technically OSS includes some twists from The Little Mermaid, so does that count?

Are there any cool local events where you live? Ah, well daily we have the highest tides in the world. That’s pretty cool, huh?

What’s your favorite sea creature? Sea snakes. They’re deadly and pretty.

Do you like turtles? Why? Yes! YES! Turtles are adorable. Don’t put your finger near a Snapping Turtle’s mouth though.

1. If you could meet one author for lunch, who would it be?

Ooh, I’m bad about this. Say time travelling is an option: Roald Dahl. That would be amazing.

2. What are your thoughts on visual stories? (apps like Choices: Stories You Play, Episode, etc.)

Ah, I don’t really have much experience with them at all, so I can’t really say anything!

3. What was the first book to make you cry?

Have I ever cried at a book? Uhhhh... I may not have. Whoops.

4. Do you ever base your characters on people you know?

I mean, subconsciously probably? But I don’t typically think about other people when creating characters.

5. Name the worst book you’ve ever read, and tell me why it was bad.

Iiiii did not like Divergent. Sorry, that’s just a personal opinion. I guess it was too... dependent on a system that didn’t really make sense to me? I dunno, mate.

6. Do you have a trademark writing ‘quirk’?

I like short sentences in action-y scenes. Maybe that? I also really like using way too many em dashes and double line breaks to emphasize something.

7. Do you have any (un)helpful pets? (I couldn’t resist asking this one. Also, if the answer is yes, please send me photos.)

I don’t have any pets! I have planties though. Cute lil’ succulents.

8. What advice would you give to a person who is new to writing?

There are going to be times when you’re not happy with your writing! But any writing is helpful, because no matter what you write, you’re improving your skills to be better the next time. Plus, a first draft can be edited later! You can’t edit what’s not there~

9. Tell me your ideal writing environment.

My family partly owns a lake cabin out in the woods which we go to every summer. It’s so peaceful to sit in the hammock chair on the porch and write to the gentle lapping waves on the beach, the birdsong, and the swish of the tree branches around me. On a day with a perfect not-too-hot warm temperature, it’s very nice.

10. Sad endings: realistic, or unnecessary?

It depends how it’s executed! I prefer bittersweet ending to sad ones, since those tend to give me the most effective emotions. Certainly I tend to seek out happier endings instead, though!

11. You’ve decided to write under a pseudonym. What is it?

Ooh. Oohhhh, well. I’m actually thinking of changing my name legally. So that’s a thing. For a pseudonym, I think I would love to go with... hm. Gale Silver. Because I love puns and that hits on two major nature aspects I’m a nerd for.

what’s your favorite movie from your childhood? has this movie had an impact on your writing at all? have any movies had an impact on your writing? Hands down How To Train Your Dragon. I am a nerd who loves dragons and the music and scenery is gorgeous. Also just... so many of its themes snuck into my wip and I didn’t even realize until just recently. Whoops.

do you struggle to write for any ocs? why? are any of your ocs really easy to write for? Io is a little hard for me to write sometimes just because she’s so darn cold. Just. Apathetic towards everything, and super formal, yet at the same time very curt and to the point. I’m used to writing either a “formal” through super flowery language or a “cold” through Celestine’s mean snark, not just... Io.

do you have any big milestones coming up for your wip? (or blog? or work? or whatever?) I’M LESS THAN 2,000 WORDS AWAY FROM 50,000 IN MY FIRST DRAFT. YEAH MATE

what are your favorite writing resources for face claims, picking first names/surnames, etc? (feel free to just pick one resource to share but you’re welcome to share as many as you’d like!) Oh! I’m still pretty new to finding face claims and what not, but naming wise Wikipedia can cover all your bases sometimes. As I’m writing a historical fantasy, to find names that fit the time period, I’ll sometimes use this site.

if your ocs had a name for their group of friends, what would it be? (for example, most of y’all have noticed by now that the friend group for b’tzelem elohim is nicknamed “shalomies”) Okay but I still have such a love for that name. XD I call my group simply The Crew! Since, you know. They’re in a pirate crew by the end of the book. (My creativity knows no bounds.)

on a similar note, would they have a groupchat? (if your world doesn’t have technology, pretend it does!) Modern times, yeah prolly. Dione and Celestine would just have it muted except for emergencies, and Phoenix and Colin would just constantly be sharing memes and terrible puns.

how many languages can you speak, if any? how many can your characters speak, if any? I speak English and (Acadian) French! Trying to learn ASL at the moment. As for my characters? Hoo, boy. Without spoilers, Celestine is multilingual with four languages, Colin is almost trilingual, Dione is trilingual, and Phoenix... I think Phoenix can only speak English. Yeah that may seem like overkill, but in context it makes sense. ^^’

how much time do you spend planning/researching before starting your wip? Fun story about that! For one of my first serious wips, Soul Tied, I first came up with the ideas perhaps... six years ago? And I have yet to write a single thing. ^^’ For OSS, the story took maybe a month to completely plan out and outline, though I still do a lot of research and planning ahead as I write the first draft, too!

do you have a preferred area to write? (ie your bedroom, the coffee shop, the library, your kitchen, etc.) My desk in my bedroom!

what’s your favorite writing snack or drink? Ohh, I don’t eat while I write ‘cause I’m actually incapable of focusing on something while I eat, but I normally really like having apple spice tea or some other kind of herbal tea!

lastly, what should you be doing right now instead of this tag game? (ps: stop procrastinating even though, as i type this, i’m currently procrastinating) HAH. STUDYING FOR MY CHEMISTRY MIDTERM. IT’S FINE. NO.

Well that was long!

[ironwoman359]

Heyo is like to preface this message by saying I’m bi, and love my ace and aro sibs so much. I’m also really interested in how people see the LGBTQ+ community and I wanted to ask as respectfully as I could what your opinion is as a heteroromantic asexual person. Do you see yourself as LGBTQ+? Feel free to completely ignore this message or delete it if you wanna :) I just recently found out what your full orientation was (split model and such) and was real curious! Okay bye lovely!! ♥️♥️♥️

Firstly, I want to thank you for being so kind and respectful in your question! I really appreciate that. Secondly, this is really long and rambly, and gets really personal for me, so I’m gonna stick it under a cut so I don’t take up all y’alls entire dash. If you want to hear my thoughts about this, feel free to read of course! I by no means am hiding here, but just remember that this is all my own experiences I’m talking about here, and by no means is meant to represent all ace people, especially not all ace-het people. Everyone is unique and has their own story and own feelings about their orientation, so take my thoughts for what they’re worth, but remember that they aren’t the only thoughts out there. 

So! without further ado, here we go. (also, apologies to the blogs I tagged, don’t feel obligated to read this, I was just using you as examples. Love you, ‘kay bye)

Do I, as a split model asexual-heteromantic (cis) woman see myself as a member of the LGBTQ+ community? 

I really wish that I could answer that with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ but unfortunately I can’t do that. My orientation confuses the heck outta me, and I’ve found that there aren’t that many simple answers when it comes to it. So hopefully I can break this down in a way that makes sense. 

In a lot of ways, I feel like I’m not LGBT+, so I’m going to start with those. One, I was raised, and still am, a Christian. Now, let me explain. I am not saying that Christians aren’t or can’t be LGBT+. Nothing could be further from the truth. But I bring it up because it is relevant to my own journey with my orientation. Christians are taught that sex is to be shared and enjoyed with your spouse after marriage, and only with your spouse after marriage. That is a belief that I still hold for myself today. But what this meant for little 12 year old Taylor going through puberty was that sex was just on that list of things to not do, you know? Don’t drink underage, don’t do drugs or smoke, don’t have sex before marriage, don’t be a bully, etc. For me, I couldn’t see the point of doing any of those things; drugs and cigarettes are terrible for your body, drinking before it’s legal is pretty foolish on a lot of levels, bullying is so mean, I had no urge to do any of those things, so it didn’t come as a surprise to me that I had no urge to have sex either. It didn’t even occur to me that for some people around my age and older, that temptation to have sex was really really strong. 

This leads directly into another reason that I don’t feel LGBT+ sometimes: as a heteromantic, I never went through the confusion of wondering why I didn’t like boys yet. I did like boys, I developed major crushes on several at my school. Ok, like, four. In all of middle school and high school, I had maybe four attractions that I would say were strong enough to be called crushes. That’s because I don’t really feel physical attraction (though I didn’t realize this back then). I can recognize and appreciate aesthetic attraction, but it doesn’t really do anything for me. I fall in love with people, not bodies or faces, and I went to a small high school where most of the guys were losers, so my pickings were slim. But I did like those few guys, and I wanted those guys to like me, I constantly wondered if any guy liked me in “that way,” even ones I wasn’t interested in, just seeking that validation. Most didn’t, or if they did, they didn’t say. One guy, who was actually my biggest crush, did admit his own crush on me and we went on one date, but it didn’t go further than that (thank god, turns out he would’ve been a terrible person to date. My current bff is one of his [many] exes, and I learned from her that I dodged a bullet by not going out with him more, but anyway). I never had more than that one date in all my life before I started dating my current bf (more on him later), and I couldn’t see the point in having sex with someone you weren’t dating/in love with, so I always just assumed the reason I had never been tempted to try sex outside of marriage was because I had never dated anyone. I didn’t realize that for most people a sex drive was….you know, a drive. 

Ok though, so why am I telling you all this, and why does it make me see myself as not a part of the LGBT+ community sometimes? Well, I feel like I haven’t gone through a lot of the struggles that a lot of people in that community are going/have gone through. Questioning what was wrong with me, why I didn’t like members of the opposite gender, thinking I was broken, I didn’t go through any of that. And since I’m heteromantic, it sometimes feels hypocritical to claim myself a member of the LGBT+ community. I feel like I have no common ground with them. What place do I have, sticking my nose into this community when I don’t share their struggles? 

HOWEVER 

I don’t actually agree with that line of thinking when it comes to most other people. I absolutely think that asexuality is valid and needs to be recognized as a valid part of the LGBT+ community, because at its core, the LGBT+ community is a group of people who come together around one shared thing: we are not what our society has deemed to be “normal” or “default”: Heterosexual/heteromantic/cisgendered. And I recognize those thoughts I have about my own worth as a member of the LGBT+ community, it’s what people who don’t believe that aces are real or belong in this community say to discourage our presence. And that is so, so damaging. Just because I didn’t experience some of those struggles in my younger years doesn’t mean that other cishet-aces didn’t, in fact, I bet a lot did. I was a sheltered kid in a lot of ways (not by my parents mind you, I actually sheltered myself unintentionally) and that ended up saving me a lot of confusion and heartache, but I know that my experiences don’t speak for all cishet-aces’ experiences. 

Also, just because I didn’t experience the confusion and feelings of brokenness in middle and high school doesn’t mean I didn’t experience them. I did, as an adult. (this is the part where I start talking about my love life, sorry in advance) 

When I was a freshman in college, I had this guy friend. I had a massive crush on him, he was super nice and funny and we liked a lot of the same things and we could talk for hours about anything and-Well, I won’t bore you with the details. Suffice it to say, if our lives were a fanfic, it’d be tagged as slow burn Taylor x Steven, and every chapter the readers would be tearing their hair out, screaming at the page for them to JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY, GOD. (That’s what our friends certainly were thinking. They shipped us hardcore) But, he’s a dork, and I’m a dork, and we were both too afraid to act on our feelings and ruin our friendship. After a year of being friends though, he finally asked me out at the start of our sophomore year, and we began dating (our third anniversary is this september). 

Physically, we took things slow, this being my first ever relationship, only his second, and us both wanting to save sex for marriage, the physical part of the relationship developed much more slowly than the emotional one. I don’t remember how long we were dating before he asked if he could kiss me…I may have actually told him I loved him before we got to that point, I don’t remember. But after we’d been dating for awhile, I started to become aware of something. Couples, even couples not having sex, were typically more physical than this, right? Kisses weren’t just for hellos and goodbyes, didn’t people just kiss for the heck of it? Wasn’t more physical affection something you were supposed to want? 

At first, I shrugged it off as physical touch being my lowest love language. And I told him this, when I realized that, because I knew it was higher for him. I believe my exact words were something along the lines of “I’m not a very physical person, it’s all up here for me” *gestured to my brain* I knew that I was attracted to personality more than looks, and I knew I enjoyed quality time and other displays of love to physical affection. I didn’t know the word asexual yet. 

As we dated more and it became more likely that marriage was in our future though, my thoughts started to drift towards that possibility. The thought of sharing my life with him excited me, as did the possibility of raising a family with him. Of course, in order to make a family (in the traditional way)…you have to have sex. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I could not imagine myself in any sexual situation at all. The thought made me uncomfortable, which at first I brushed off as repression/ignorance, since there had been little to no sex ed in my high school (it had boiled down to “here’s how you don’t get pregnant or catch an std: use condoms, make sure you and your partner are tested, be on the pill, or you know, just don’t have sex. Seemed ok to me. But orientations, the act itself, any of that stuff? Completely ignored.) But as time went on and on, I started to panic. I couldn’t picture myself in any sort of sexual situation, hell, I couldn’t even understand what some people found so enjoyable about kissing. I’m almost 22, and still have never “been to first base.” What could possibly be enjoyable about sticking your tongue in someone else’s mouth? That’s…that’s just weird. Surely you see how weird it is? (probably not, if you aren’t ace, and that’s ok. I’m aware that I’m the weird one in that line of thinking) 

By summer break 2017, I was thoroughly freaked out. I wanted to be married, but I had come to the realization that I didn’t want sex. And I knew that he would, I mean, how could he not? People wanted sex, right? So what was wrong with me? By this point, I think I had seen the word asexual on the internet before, but I didn’t know much about it, all I knew was that it was part of the LGBT+ community. And while I sympathized with their struggles, I didn’t know a whole lot about all the individual orientations specifically, cause hey, I was straight! I was in love with a man, and I knew I wasn’t attracted to girls, so I wasn’t bi. Boom, not LGBT+. But somehow or another, I started pinning a lot of sjw and human rights related things on pinterest (tumblr screenshots mostly, actually. I had a tumblr then, but like never used it) and by doing that, more of it started showing up in that feed. With the sjw stuff came a lot of posts about the LGBT+ community in general, and one day I came across an Ace Positivity post. Reading it felt…oddly familiar, and I googled asexuality to learn more. 

Oh. 

Well, that makes a lot of sense. 

It wasn’t until later that month that I finally got up the courage to officially attach the label to myself. When I finally did, it felt strange and foreign to say. 

“I am asexual.” 

I didn’t even really know what that meant for me, but I knew it was true. A month later I told my boyfriend about it when I saw him at a family get together. He is the only living soul in my real life that I have told. Everyone else thinks I’m straight. And I (usually) don’t feel the need to correct them. Because I still feel straight sometimes, especially in the eyes of the world. As far as I’m concerned, my sex life isn’t anybody’s business besides mine and my partner’s, so why should I announce to the world that there’s something more complicated going on beneath the surface of what they see? 

It wasn’t til I started to be more active on tumblr that I really started to feel comfortable in my own orientation. I started getting involved in fandoms and I met other people who, wonder of wonders, had similar thoughts, feelings, and experiences that I did about sex. From @the-asexual-reaper and @pleaseletthisjimbetaken to @randomslasher, @logically-asexual, @what-even-is-thiss, and several others, I began to realize that being ace wasn’t strange or weird, it was normal, it was even something to celebrate. It hasn’t even been a full year of me knowing what asexuality is and I’ve learned so much about asexuality and myself in that time, it’s honestly kind of mind boggling. Recently, I even did something that may seem small, but actually was kinda important to me: I was taking an online survey about campus demographics or something, and I came to a question asking about sexual orientation. It listed several, and then had an “other” box where you could type one in if yours wasn’t represented. I almost clicked “straight” without thinking, but then I saw the “other” box…and I clicked it. I typed “asexual” into the blank space, and submitted the survey. Even though the survey was anonymous, it felt like a big deal. That was the first time I admitted to anybody outside the realm of tumblr or my romantic relationship that I was anything other than straight. It was weird, but…kind of nice.

So, I’ve rambled for a long time, and it’s taken me way longer than it should have realistically to write this, but this is what I’m getting at. There are times when I feel funny about calling myself LGBT+, but the reasons that I give for myself to feel that way are honestly frighteningly similar if not identical to what people who want to erase my identity completely say. And hell, even if you don’t think I’m LGBT+, don’t you dare take the asexual community away from me. Without it, I would still be terrified to even voice my fears about sex to my boyfriend, and the growing likelihood/closeness of my wedding night would cause me even more anxiety. And even on days when I feel like I haven’t “earned the right” to be counted among the LGBT+ community, this is what I believe. I believe that all asexual people should be included and represented in the LGBT+ community, because it is important that our orientations be seen. 

All asexual people should be represented, from split model aces to aro aces to trans aces to demi aces, to gray aces, to every other kind of ace, because if we are not, then the cycle of believing that you’re broken or wrong or inadequate or out of place will continue for young aces who weren’t as luckily oblivious as I was. All asexual people need to be represented in the LGBT+ community, so we can support our bi and pan siblings who face similar erasure, all ace people need to be represented so that we can find each other and share our stories, and make our voices heard. 

We’re here, we’re real, and we’re not going away. 

All asexual people need to be represented, so that every person who’s questioning knows that it’s ok to click the “other” box. 

[criophorus]

witchy would you rather: all (or first 5 if all is Way Too Much)

BLESS YOU, as a Cap Mercury I love to talk about myself WAY too much so here we go, minus the one I already answered

tarot cards or runestones?

a few months ago I would have said tarot, but I love Oracle SO much that I’m at the point where I’m saying who needs tarot when you’ve got custom Oracle decks??? I *really* wanna learn runes, though. They’re super unique (and intimidating, ahh)

candles or incense?

I’m not allowed to use candles in my current housing situation, so incense!

tea or coffee?

keep your leaf water away from me and give me those blessed beans

winter or summer?

the heat makes me sick, y’all, I hate the summer, don’t @ me, I’m a winter baby

pendulum or ouijia?

I could never really find enjoyment in pendulum! But one time in grade school this fifth grader made a paper ouija board and we all played with it after school so I went home, made my own, and scared my grandma! Then she told me how it would invite demons to take over our house and kill us so that was fun. I vote Ouija!

ash or soil?

ash is one of my all-time favorite components. I draw sigils with it or offer it to Chthonic deities!

sun or moon?

I work with Apollon over Artemis, but I prefer the moon.

amethyst or rose quartz?

Rose Quartz

east or west?

I prefer Eastern mythos a lot of times, and I find the history of the East super interesting, but I like the word West-- it’s aesthetically pleasing

flowers or trees?

as far as for spells, I prefer flowers because I feel so bad even taking a leaf off of a tree

silk or lace?

L A C E

rain or snow?

I love them both, but rain season is calling to me right now and I’m in LOVE

swimming or hiking?

SWIMMING. ya girl likes taking walks, but not uphill

bones or seashells?

b o n e s   hold so much energy ahhhI don’t connect with water super well a lot of times

words or actions?

most people probably say action because it sounds like the right way, but I think you really need to balance the two

crystal or glass?

this one is tricky, but I’ll say crystal

books or music?

this one is evil, I don’t know how to choose... books? Since there are poetry books, I’ll say books. For me, they’re hard to imagine separately? Like, I rarely read without music on.

broom or cauldron?

cauldron, all the way

oracle or horoscope?

THIS. This is the most difficult one. I use Oracle cards a LOT. They’re my favorite form of divination. But astrology is just so important to me? It’s been with me for a LONG time. I suppose the side of astrology I work with isn’t super horoscope-y as most people see it, so Oracle.

art or theatre?

I’m not a theatre kid, but I WANT to be. If we’re just saying like, drawing/painting for art, then theatre. But if we include graphic design, fashion, and other visual arts, then art is my pick.

greek or norse mythology?

I used to go Greek all the way, but I really want to reach out to the Norse! So I’m a bit caught up between. Because i know more about Greeks, I’ll say Greece... for now.

yoga or meditation?

I’m *terrible* at yoga. I’m not bad at meditation, considering my attention issues, so I’m meditation all the way.

garden (plants) or familiar (animals)?

I don’t really want a familiar, but the family garden is super important to me. Garden!

fire or ice?

FIRE

staff or wand?

Staff, for sure

sword or shield?

Sword, 100%

mortar & pestle or athame & boline?

I’m always wishing a had the former and rarely think of the latter. Mortar and Pestle, 100%

bell or wind chime?

wind chime

milk or honey?

for magic, always honey-- good for literally everything

sugar or salt?

I use salt to self-cleanse, so 100% salt (kinda like my personality irl)

birds or bees?

I have birds, but love bees. As far as my practice goes, I’m very attentive to how I can help bees, but I love birds so much. I guess bees?

metal or wood?

metal is aesthetically pleasing, but wood is better