#y’all I have been thrown into the fandom with no warning

[wow-an-unfunny-joke]

So- sombra is Junkenstien’s bride, and Roadhog is Junkenstein’s monster, wasn’t the bride made for the monster???? What are the implications here actually??? I really need to read that second comic

[bdudette]

I saw the hcs of hort falling for someone from the good school, but what about not just hcs of them being a princess from that school, but they are different from the others. They don’t like pastel colors like the rest and prefers darker colors (Let’s say they somehow found a black dress or took one colorful dress and just modified it. Plus don’t really care what the rest think), not afraid to stand up for others no matter what school they are from, kind, and empathetic (You could add Tedros too if you’d like)

THE SCHOOL FOR GOOD AND EVIL GUYS FALLING FOR A NEVER LIKE EVER !

• Characters Included: Hort and Tedros

• a|n: tbh, i didn’t know how to do this one super well. I was mostly thinking of like — typical Disney ‘ I’m not like the other girls ‘ kinda gal. don’t beat me up for saying that 😂. idk if this fits with the tittle but I remember when the ‘ever’ girls called Agatha a ‘never’ because of how she first looked and I kinda wanna work with that ? Uh — yeah

• ps. sorry for taking months to do this, y’all know that at this point I generate fics at the pace of a slug in a 5 yard run. rewatched the movie for y’all. i’ve also been trying to write for some different fandoms im into as well, the amount of drafts I have — cough … this was from 2022 btw 💀

• warnings: based on movie, obsessive Hort ( bro needs to chill a lil ), kinda wack Tedros, rusty writing, short.

✫ Hort

Obsessed Immediately

It’s not everyday when Hort gets to see such a … different kind of princess.

Typically, they are all like — sheep in fancy clothes and makeup, always following what the most popular shepherd’s words were as if it were like their last drop of water in a dry and hot desert.

So when you were thrown in and showed up in such dark ‘never’ colors in the entrance ceremony of those lame-o ‘ever’s he just — he stared way too hard at you from afar.

What were you trying to accomplish when you chose that outfit? What were you thinking when choosing such darkness of colors that almost had you thrown to the side of the ‘never’s by the humanized wolf guards the very first day?

He was honestly just confused as soon as he first saw you, you were so much different than what he was used to seeing or hearing. So when he continuously saw you wear such clothings for more than a day, he decided to well — stalk you to learn more about your intentions.

And he wasn’t gonna lie and say he didn’t start liking you as soon as you started to show up the next few days after the second one still wearing dark clothing — further pushing the continuations of his stalking towards you in where he’d just stare at you with his arm perched on the cafeteria table with his head leaned against his closed fist.

All while he sighed so dreamily towards you.

Wow that was long.

But it’s true, he so rarely got to see you though because of your different ‘statuses’— so when he did see you again, he always used that time to stare at You.

It wasn’t far after the first few days that You were able to catch on that an never was staring and soon felt kind of uncomfortable.

And it wasn’t because the guy was an never, no — it was just — that weird guy seemed to have a staring problem since the first time You came in.

Well — everyone here had a staring problem when it came to Your clothing style — the difference was that while the others stared in disgust, envy or pity … he stared with something akin to a Dreamy Look.

And that always seemed to put you on a fluttering edge of — confusion, and extreme flattery —

Not you’d outrightly say it, not to this pretty stranger of a never, after all — what’s the fun in making things easy.

After gathering all your courage one day, you had decided that it was time to finally speak to this staring guy.

A smile grazed your colored lips, eyes squinting under the light of the sun rays as you were lightly caressed by the sun itself all while you stared down at the sitting wolf who looked like he was seeing an ethereal being right in front of him.

So this is how it started, the little romantic advances of a wolf man and dark clothing wearing riding hood.

✫ Tedros

Confused Yet Enamored

He was honestly so — confused as to what you were wearing when he first saw you walking on the grounds of the ever school.

Wondering why a Never was walking in the same grounds of the Evers, but after seeing you on the second to third day, it was solidified that you were an Ever … dressed in darkened items.

At first, he had been confused — extremely confused and not understanding as to why an Ever would ever wear such darkened clothings to the point of being confused to a Never.

Why an Ever would ever be kind to a Never when they were the enemies, the villains, of their future life long stories — even standing up for them from time and time again.

He was unsure, but he could not deny the rapid palpations of his golden heart at the sight of your beautiful figure.

Be it from Far, Far Away or Close By.

As a popular guy, he can’t deny that he was somewhat — arrogant when it came to a romantic advance with pretty ladies, but you had been indifferent to the sight of him.

This was one of the many reasons why he has been so enamored with you, why his eyes could not leave you for more than a second.

And sure, it might sound like a typical ‘this is the first time a lady has ever rejected me’ sort of romance, but this was different for Tedros.

This was way too different.

Especially when he started speaking with You, his eyes not leaving You as he had a spark of interest by the time he first spoke to You.

Your empathy, Your kindness, Your wit, Your intelligence — everything about You was different than the ordinary one minded ladies he has met before … not to be insulting.

But You were just different to everyone, to himself, You were — Yourself.

And by the stars above, you were one of a kind to him, You were the beautiful moon that shined the path of salvation to him, the setting sky that held the most beautiful of darkening colors — You ARE his One.

He knew it, he felt it.

From the sole of his feet, to the edge of his fingers and to the top of his hairs — You lit his heart ablaze like the flames on Hades head.

You are the One who held the key within his own Heart and Soul.

Which is why, as soon as he knew, he gently grasped at your darkened nail tainted hands, looking directly at your eyes as his heart trembled within himself while throat dried out for a moment

You looked at him with a light fever within your own, wonder cascading with yourself at this beautiful man that held a tender look within his own eyes.

Was this to be your happily Ever After?

Despite who you were, despite how you dressed — Tedros would not have you any different than right now.

After all, You are the One, truly the One he fell deeply — into the depths of the underworld and above — in love with you.

[cherrybomb107]

Okay, so on the topic of Jinx’s actions, I feel like they’re blown out of proportion for several reasons. (Obligatory I am a certified Jinx stan warning. I love my girl DOWN, so take this with a grain of salt.)

Bootlicking is definitely a reason, as is sexism ofc. But, I think a pretty big reason has to do with the fact that people think killing someone is the worst thing you can do to them, when it’s far from it. It’s about who you kill, why you kill them, how you go about it, what did you do to them beforehand, and what you do to their bodies after. Ofc I wouldn’t defend a psycho killer who just went after people for no reason in real life, but that’s not what Jinx does! I’m not saying you have to like her or defend her actions like I do cause my love for her blinds me sometimes, I can admit it. But if you ARE gonna hate on her, do it for the right reasons yk? Lead with love before you hate🤣🤣🤣

Okay so, the fact that Jinx is an oppressed person. Jinx comes from Zaun, where they didn’t even have clean air to breathe. Not to mention the militarized police force that brutalized her people and killed her parents right in front of her all before she hit double digits. As well as the apathetic Council who could give less of a fuck about her, her family, or the Undercity itself. They don’t give a damn, which leads me to my next point: who you kill.

Jinx kills enforcers, Council members, and Firelights. She does not, nor has she ever killed an innocent person. She doesn’t kill random people for just looking at her wrong, as much as the fandom likes to act like she does. Her targets are very specific. Let’s start with the enforcers. My love for Jinx aside, enforcers are Piltover’s version of cops. I’m Black, queer, female and from the US. Ain’t nothing you could say to me to convince me killing cops is “psycho” or “evil”. If you knew anything about the history of policing here, you’d understand my feelings. Fuck em🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

Same story with the Council. Fuck em. They sat on their asses for centuries while people were suffering right down the street from them. They chose to ignore the suffering of Zaun. They were unfazed by Caitlyn telling them about how Silco flooded the Lanes with drugs, pinned all his crimes on the Firelights, and had Marcus working for him as a dirty cop. They didn’t care. But when Jayce and Viktor told the Council that they could make a deal with Silco and give Zaun its independence? THAT’S when they cared. THAT’S what got them up out of their seats, yelling and screaming about “policies��� and “procedures”. NOT when Vi and countless others were thrown in Stillwater and forgotten about. NOT when enforcers killed people in cold blood on the bridge during the opening sequence back in episode one. They only cared when they wouldn’t be able to oppress and exploit people anymore. So, like I said. Fuck em. Jinx shoulda killed more 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

Now, onto the Firelights. I love the Firelights, as well as their ideals. I want the best for them, I do! However, they are by no means “innocent”. They’re literally a gang. I’m not saying that to make a moral judgement, it’s just a fact. They are a gang. If Silco is a kingpin, and Jinx is his daughter, then she’s just protecting the shimmer from their attacks. I agree with them wanting to dismantle shimmer. But I am saying that by engaging in direct combat with Jinx, they are not “innocent”. At that point it’s a street fight. Anything’s fair game. Additionally, the Firelights have been shown to be willing to use lethal force. Scar would’ve speared Vi in the back if Ekko hadn’t stopped him. So Jinx actually succeeding when she uses lethal force isn’t this big deal y’all like to make it out to be.

As for why she kills them, with the Firelights it’s because they were fighting each other. With enforcers, it’s by virtue of who they are and what they represent to Jinx. She sees them as monsters. She doesn’t explicitly kill them for oppressing her, but that doesn’t need to be made explicit imo. Jinx’s actions are very politically charged, whether she realizes it or not. With the Council, it’s both because of what happened at the tea party, as well as what they represent. They did nothing to help her people for centuries. Her firing the rocket was for revenge.

As for how she goes about it, she kills people quickly. She doesn’t gloat, she doesn’t play with her food, nor does she torture them beforehand. She shoots to kill or blows them up. For me, it’d be a different story if she drew things out and made them suffer for a long time before she kills them. Now that’s fucked up! But that’s not what she does; it’s quick. I’m not gonna lie and act like they don’t suffer at all, but it’s very quick. The length of suffering means a lot. To continue that, Jinx doesn’t disrespect the bodies after. She doesn’t take souvenirs (the feathers from the crows aside lol). Nor does she prop them up weirdly or kick or hit them either. She doesn’t relish her killing, she just does it and moves on.

In conclusion, killing is wrong ofc. But it’s not always as black and white as it’s made out to be, especially in a show as complex as Arcane. Now before somebody’s like “Omg how can you hate Caitlyn but defend Jinx like this?!” that’s a different conversation entirely. I didn’t say anything about Caitlyn, and bringing up another character’s actions when it’s time to criticize your fave is both unserious and pathetic. I get wanting to defend your faves! I just think that’s a weak defense and you should come harder

[cozymochi]

Yeah, you know what, i’m done. Officially. Consider today the start of my slow but sure Invader Zim purge on this blog.

I was trying to be patient, really I was. I even had a brief moment where I changed my mind and decided to do a courtesy, but after what I just had thrown my way I’m going to take MORE overt steps to get out.

I draw the line at being associated with even tangentially with discourse™️ that I never ever was involved with in the first place, nor do I want to be. While it IS true I never made shit for a certain thing nor have I ever cared about it, the fact I’m even still being roped into and having my discourse™️ stance assumed as a result is enough to make me pull the plug. What kind of freaking logic is that? Oh, congrats to you I don’t make things about [redacted], but I’m also not up for being associated with anyone involved in celebrating chronically online only problems and “wins” or whatever tf that is. Some folk have been inactive for YEARS. And y’all KEEP TRACK of that?? I just. HUH? I haven’t done anything related to IZ in a year myself, and yet—-!!

Literally don’t speak for me, don’t mention me (too late), do NOT involve me your kid bs I literally never cared about in the first place!! And the one thing I ask for has been violated. Again. Yet, this time given how sour I’ve become, that thin ice folk were walking on has finally cracked.

I just. Fuck. Y’all literally the only fandom who do this (or at least the only one i’ve seen who care SO MUCH about that stupid junk), and I want out. Purge starts now. As for how long that process will take, who knows.

Last warning about that. I know people are all up in having “warnings” or whatever. So consider this wall of text no one will read it.

[1987vampire]

Comfort for Nightmares | Poly!Proxies

Fandom: Creepypasta / Marble hornets Word Count: 724 Warnings: none, just panicking from a nightmare Request: Anonymous asked: So I’m not sure if you’re taking requests but I’ve been having problems sleeping, like I can’t sleep longer than a hour without waking up trembling from nightmares I can’t remember, literally frozen like sleep paralysis but I’m wide awake frozen in fear of something not there. The poly proxies are normally what I use to calm down, so could I request how hoodie or Brian, masky or Tim, and Toby (together, or separate) would react to their partner going through this A/N: This is short, but I really wanted to do a lil smth for this because funnily enough I have this exact same fucking issue and use them to cope as well, so here's one for you. Tim's zonked the fuck out in it, but I'd be more than willing to do another one if wanted. I think it'd be a cute lil series of midnight vibing. Anyways, here you go, I hope things get better shawty frfr Extra: Cashtag: $orpheus89 if anyone's feelin a lil crazy

Not again.

That was the first thought on your mind as your eyes shot up, slowly adjusting to the dark. Your chest burned, ragged breaths escaping your lips, and tears were gathering in your eyes. A deep fear crept over you, eyes darting around the room to what you could see while your body stayed put, afraid.

Why was it always like this? Fuck. You had tried medicine, meditation, teas, and herbal remedies, but nothing ever seemed to work. Here you were again, curled up in the dark, scared, the distant feeling of a nightmare already settled on your back.

It was your name mumbled sleepily that broke your trance. You still couldn’t move, but that voice, you recognized that voice.

“y/n.”

There it was again, this time followed by an arm wrapped around your waist and a face pressed to the back of your neck. You had almost completely forgotten that the others had fallen asleep around you. Brian’s mustache tickled your neck as he seemed to realize the situation, a hand clasping around yours, intertwining your fingers, his palm warm against the back of your hand.

“You’re shaking,” he mumbled. He wasn’t wrong, you could feel the tremors running through your body, forcing your hands to shake like a storm.

You whimpered involuntarily. God, why were you still frozen? You stared into the dark of the room, still searching like something was hiding in the midst of dirty clothes on the floor and paintings thrown on the wall. Realistically, the boys were the most dangerous thing in your house, but that didn’t stop your imagination from running wild.

“Oh, baby,” Brian sighed, “I’m going to turn you around, alright?”

He sat up, shuffling around for a moment, and then, his hands were on your shoulders, gently maneuvering you until you were facing him instead of the dark. The shuffling, you realized, had been him pushing Tim’s arm from him, the man’s sprawled out, still reaching for y’all as he snored lightly.

You could feel yourself begin to relax, shoulders losing tension as you began to take in the features of Brian’s face, the hook of his nose and curve of his jaw. He looked tired, but he still cupped your face, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You’re okay, I promise. We’re right here. You’re safe.”

You let out a shuddering sigh, fingers twitching as your body began to loosen its vice grip on you. “Brian,” you managed to whisper out.

He pressed his thumbs to your cheekbones, silently smoothing over your face. “I don’t know what that mind of yours is making, but I promise you’re okay. We’re right here for you – fully at your beck and call.” He was quiet for a bit longer, watching as your body slowly slumped until you were able to move fully again, pressing into his chest with a soft noise of comfort. “Do you want to go watch a movie or something? Get up and out of bed?”

You shook your head. “You need to sleep, Bri,” you whispered, throat still thick from the past few moments.

The door opened quietly, the click the only indicator besides the gentle stream of light that flooded the room. “O-oh, s-sss-sorry, did I wake you u-up?” Toby’s feet padded softly against the floor. “I can’t s-sleep,"

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you. Of course, there was always somebody there for you. Of course, he couldn’t sleep. Brian chuckled as well, though his was much sleepier, pressing another kiss to your cheek this time.  “How about Toby takes care of you, and then when he passes out, Tim or I will take his place. Does that sound good?”

Tim snorted in his sleep, like he was responding to the quiet sound of his name. You smiled, nodding. “I can do that.”

Toby leaned down, trying to hear the conversation better. “N-nightmare ag-gain?” You hummed an affirmation, and he grumbled to himself, face scrunching into a frown. “C-come on, we c-can watch a m-mmm-movie together.”

“And if you’re feeling up to trying to sleep again, we’ll be right here.”

You slid out from the bed, letting Toby wrap his arms around your waist. “Thank you, Brian. Thank you, Toby.”

“Anytime, darling.”

“Y-yeah. Anytime. Now, let’s-sss watch that n-new horror movie w-we rent-rented.”

And that sounded divine.

[husbandograveyard]

Hazel hi! I see you added twst to your fandoms and your box is open soooo 👀 can I ask for some headcanons for Malleus. Azul and Vil where they get confessed to? Maybe while they were trying to figure out how to/when to/if they should confess? Idk I'm just here for fluff and laughs. Thanks if you do this! 💜 - Lisa

First twst Request! Keep em coming UwU, in the meantime I’ll just share my brainrot with y’all without anyone asking for it. These are becoming more and more broken up scenario’s than actual HC, and they are a little different from your request, you’ll see. Hope you dont mind! Sowwy! I Even left the bullet points away cause they just didn’t seem right. 

Confessing to Malleus, Azul, Vil 

2nd person, GN reader, no warnings, just fluff. Only warning is that these are LONG. Vil and Azul under the cut. 

Malleus Draconia

Malleus had been spending a lot of time with you lately, even seeking you out at moments he felt like it had been too long since he last saw you. He wasn’t too sure of his feelings until Lilia pointed them out to them. It was a little strange, and he wasn’t too sure how to go about it. He’d never felt like this before. Sure, he wanted to be closer to other people, but like this? All new. 

You had been noticing him spending more time with you too. It was a welcome change of pace, as you had developed feelings for him pretty early on in your friendship. But with how socially awkward and out of touch Malleus sometimes could be, you didn’t want to ruin what you had by potentially pushing him away with too intense a feeling on your side.

But, lately, he had been seeking you out more often than the other way around. Even going to more public events at the school - you being the one to make sure an invitation got extended to him in the first place. 

It made your heart swell. All the little things that had changed ever since you met him for the first time. How he initially kept both physical and mental distance, but now allowed you close in both ways, sharing thoughts and conversations, but also sharing small touches. Nothing that could be interpreted as too romantic per se, but definitely different from the way he treated most other people.

He was noticing it too, on your side. The little smiles when you spent time with him, the way you closed your eyes when you listened to him telling about his hometown. The way you initially pulled away from accidental touches, as if a jolt of electricity just coursed through your body, but now you were actually leaning into him whenever it happened. And he found himself like it more and more whenever that happened.  

He had been picking up on signals for a while now, but it was only when Lidia helped him by actually putting it into words, that he realized just how long he might have been ignoring your true feelings. And he was now worrying that he might have sent you the wrong signals by never really reacting to your advances. If that’s what they truly were, really, even now he wasn’t 100% sure. 

And now he was seeking you out to finally put his feelings into words, preferably right after class, so no chores or duties or homework could be occupying you just yet. 

Little did he know that you were walking around campus as well, trying to find him to finally make it clear to him how you really felt. Subtelty and fear thrown out of the window. You weren’t sure just how much longer you could take it, and you were pretty sure that even if he were to reject you, he’d still have you around if you’d want that. You really considered yourself at least good friends by now. 

Malleus couldn’t find you in your dormroom, where he was expecting to find you. He started walking around campus, ears and eyes focused on trying to spot your figure. He was repeating the words he wanted to say over and over, a little louder than a whisper. Since most people kept their distance anyway, there was no danger of anyone that didn’t matter overhearing, unless- 

“Why are you repeating that you love me in that strange whisper-tone?”

Busted. Malleus turned around, seeing you with an amused smirk on your face. The smirk however was in sharp contrast with how your hands seemed to be shaking. Nerves. 

“Well, y/n, I was practising to say that to you. But I guess since you overheard, I no longer actually need to say it?” 

You laughed. “Well, I was actually about to say the same to you. So why don’t we find someplace now, and repeat ourselves? Just to get the message across?”

Vil Schoenheit

Rook found himself in an annoying position. Sure, he was fine helping out his housewarden confess to the person he’d had his eyes on for quite some time. If anything, it could almost be considered one of his duties as a vice-housewarden.

What he was not prepared for, however, was you coming up to him to help him with the exact same thing. Two lonely hearts, both yearning to confess and asking for his help and advice? With the way things were looking right now, neither of you needed any assistance, just a little push in the right direction, and what more could he do than play a perfect undercover role. No one else but him would be able to play cupid that well, with his perfect aim to shoot arrows right through both your hearts. 

Helping Vil was easy, he was mostly requiring assistance in finding the right words. Rook and his elaborate knowledge of literature and poetry could help him pick the perfect metaphors to help Vil explain why the two of you would be a perfect match. 

Helping you proved to be a little harder. You see, you wanted to confess as fast as possible now that you had made up your mind. But Rook knew that Vil was trying to perfectly plan this all out, and he didn’t want to ruin that, thus he had to stall you a little, giving you all kinds of reasons why you shouldn’t be alone with the man of your dreams right now. 

“He’s having a beauty sleep.” “He’s doing his hair.” “He has to prepare for an audition.” “He’s getting ready for a shoot.” 

You were getting sick of it. Ever since you told Rook you wanted help confessing to Vil, he had been sabotaging you it seemed, and you were almost regretting asking him for help at all. So far, none of the advice had even been useful, besides maybe the encouragement he seemed to give you initially. He gave you hope that you wouln’t be rejected, and honestly that was all you needed to get to it, before insecurities got the better of you and you started doubting again. 

You were making your way to the biggest room in the Pomifiore dorm, having spotted Rook going in with Vil, probably to assist with one thing or the other. But he wasn’t there to stop you from going in, and that’s all that mattered. The plan was simple enough. Knock, go in, demand to have Vil alone for a little while and then confess, hopefully be out within ten minutes with a date. 

You were determined not to let anyone stop you. Which is why both the blond-haired men were shocked when the door swung open rather violently, not even giving either of them time to say something after the brief knocking. 

“Vil, I need to talk to you. Alone” 

“Sure, y/n.” Vil was quick to regain composure, unlike Rook who was looking as if you’d just ruined a surprise. “Leave us alone for a while, will you?” 

Vil looked at Rook, expectantly, telling him to close the door behind him. As he did so, Vil focused all his attention on you. 

“It’s been a while since we’ve talked, y/n” 

“Exactly, Rook has been keeping you away from me ever since-” You closed your mouth just in time, cutting yourself off. This was not the words you wanted to use. But it was too late, curiosity was already piqued. 

“Ever since what, y/n?” Vil seemed interested. He himself had been thinking Rook was keeping you away so he could prepare an appropriate confession in peace, but if there was something going on on your side too, that could explain why he hadn’t seen you in almost two weeks, a presence sorely missed. 

You sighed. Everything was ruined anyway, so you might as well confess everything right there. 

“Ever since I’ve wanted to confess my feelings for you.” 

Long eyelashes fluttered, and a smile appeared on his lips. 

“Well that explains then, y/n”, Vil motioned you to sit next to him, so you’d be closer. A good sign that made you smile as well, “because he’s been doing the same to me, ever since I asked for help to confess my feelings for you.” 

“Looks like both our plans were ruined then.” You smiled up at him. 

“Maybe for the better. What’s all that preparation good for when you can move on straight to the good part? Y/n, when would you have time to go out with me?”

Azul Ashengrotto

There is mutual care, there is mutual love. There are so many little hints that Azul cares for you more than just a friend (and big ones too, like the tweels’ endless teasing that leaves him a strange mix of flustered and frustrated whenever those two are around when you’re with him). 

And yet, nothing is really moving, and you figure out it is probably because he needs some more confirmation. 

And what more confirmation can you give him than actually confessing your feelings yourself? It’s a little nerve-wracking, sure, but the rewards outweigh the risk by a lot, especially since you are about 99% sure that Azul likes you back. 

There are so many ways to go about this, and you weren’t really sure how to go about it. In between the twins’ antics and the trouble Azul had with seeing himself as he really was, insecurity dragging him down even when he put up the bravest of faces, you wanted to make sure he didn’t see it as a joke. It had to be genuine, and private. Just the two of you. 

The best way to get Azul alone was to ask for a wish. But the moment you do so, you can already see the surprise, confusion, and reluctance in his eyes. Deals usually don’t turn out in the favor of those he’s making them with, and while he couldn’t possibly try to scam you, the mere fact that you’re still asking for it is making him feel uneasy in some type of way. 

The expression returns to normal as he regains composure, escorting you to his office, your heart beating wildly in anticipation. 

“What can I help you with?” the statement is very neutral, very businesslike, and your heart drops a little when you realize he probably has no idea what you’re here to do, disappointed that you’re resorting to this sort of contact with him, very well knowing what happens to people making deals. 

Nevertheless, you push on, knowing that this may only add to the surprise of what you’re really about to say. 

“Well,” you started off with a smile, stepping a little closer to him, seeing his gaze already soften behind his glasses, “what I’m asking for is a bit of a package deal, really.” 

He didn’t speak, letting you continue. 

“I wish to be closer to you.” You saw his brows furrow, confusion appearing on his face as it started to dawn on him -this was no regular deal.

“At the very least have a date. Maybe be more than friends?” You laughed a little at his shocked expression. “Of course, whatever terms and conditions you’d like to apply.” 

It was silent for a little while, so you decided to steal his usual words and use them against him. 

“Have we got a deal?” 

He stepped close, his cheeks a deep red color by now, disbelief apparent on his eyes, and carefully grabbed your hands. 

“Are you- is this a-?” You’d never seen him stumble on his words like that before, and laughed a little, kissing his cheek, effectively shutting him up. 

“No, it’s not a joke. And I am taking it as a yes.” 

[deltas-writing-corner]

Inhale and Exhale

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x reader (gender neutral)

Author note: I’m so sorry for my inactiveness. University ain’t a joke y’all. word count is 2.2k in case anyone want to know.

Warnings: depictions of illness/infection | mentions of blood, medication/medical equipment, and death | unintentional self-injury

The first thing you noticed upon waking up was the tremendous ache throughout your whole body. Yesterday’s assignment was rather intense. You still don’t know how you managed to exorcise a curse of that magnitude without losing a limb or two. No matter, you were triumphant and that is all that matters. As unpleasant as this soreness is, it is a welcomed testament that you have been granted more time in this life. You will not take this blessing for granted.

As you move to sit yourself upright, that is when your nausea makes itself known. Like a tsunami, it pounds into your stomach with such force that it makes you curl into yourself in a pathetic attempt for relief. The bedsheets are heavy and damp with your perspiration, yet your body shivers and your teeth chatter as if you’ve woken up in the middle of a snowstorm.

The headache and lack of energy despite getting a reasonable amount of sleep make reaching over towards your nightstand and grabbing your phone embarrassingly difficult. Scrolling through your contacts is no easy feat either, not when your vision is doubling and blurring together into a strange amalgam of digital letters and numbers. As if granting you a bit of pity over your lethargic form, your phone begins to ring with an incoming call from your partner. You answer it without a second thought.

“Good morning!” Satoru, your one and only, greets you with energetic glee. Normally, you look forward to his enthusiasm whenever he calls, but your feverish condition is making you rather adverse to such boisterous positivity. “Now, I know it’s still early, but I promise I’m calling for a good reason.” he insists.

“Never mind the hour,” you dismiss. It is only when you speak that you notice how parched your mouth and throat is. “I think I’ve caught a fever.”

As if to affirm that you are indeed sick, a wet coughing fit rips apart your lungs with concerning pain.

“You sound like shit,” he jests.

“I feel like shit.”

“Hang tight,” he assures. “I should be home before noon. I’ll grab some medicine on the way.”

Surprised, you ask, “You’re not overseas?”

“No, but I got another mission thrown on me as soon as I landed,” he complains. “It won’t take long, I promise.”

“Don’t push yourself,” you fuss. “I’m sure you’re just as exhausted as I am. Make sure you come back to me in one piece, alright?”

Satoru goes silent for a moment. You can hear some of the commotions in the background. It sounds like he’s in a busy area.

 “I don’t deserve you,” he mutters into the receiver.

He lets you go, but not without a stern warning not to overexert yourself or even think about getting out of bed, not until he’s there by your side to take care of you. You haven’t the energy to argue back with his demands, seriously or playfully. As soon as he hangs up, you lower yourself back down on your stuffy mattress. After languishly tossing and turning on your side for a while, you finally find a comfortable position to relax in. The room is much brighter now that the sun has risen higher in the sky. It doesn’t bring much relief to your aching condition, but it doesn’t bother your body from lulling itself back to sleep.

The sun is still up when you reawaken. Your body still aches something terrible and your headache feels worse than before. Your body temperature doesn’t feel as temperamental as it did before. It’s made up its mind that it wants to feel overtly hot now. If you were to describe your condition now, you would label it as” worse than before”.

The door to your bedroom opens. Satoru enters with a washbasin and a damp rag in his arms “You’re up,” he notices. “Just in time too. I just got home a few minutes ago.”

“Medicine?” you croak out. Your throat feels even dryer than before. Maybe you should have drank a bit of water before going back to bed.

“In a minute,” he reassures you. “I need to take your temperature first.”

He places the water bucket on the ground before pulling out a digital thermometer from his pocket, still wrapped in its plastic and paper packaging. After holding the end under your tongue for a minute, it beeps and he takes it out of your mouth to read. A scowl finds its way onto his face, unobstructed by either blindfold or blackout sunglasses.

“How bad is it?”

“Not good,” he bluntly tells you before putting it away. He pours the purple-tinged cough syrup into a disposable medicine cup that came with the bottle. “Drink this.”

It doesn’t taste as bad as you thought it would, but by no means does it taste like a delicacy. You ask for some water to wash the flavor down, and he obliges without a word. Sitting up is an even greater struggle than before, and holding the glass is simply impossible without his help.

“Must be because of that curse you fought yesterday,” Satoru deduces. He wrings the washcloth before placing it on your forehead. The coolness makes you shiver, but it relieves your headache and temperature a bit. “Some like to turn the last bits of their cursed energy into a deadly pathogen as a last-ditch effort.”

“That’s rather desperate,” you scoff, which you immediately regret doing so as yet another coughing fit erupts from your chest and batters your throat.

“Desperate, but deadly nonetheless,” he warns. “Damn thing could have inflicted you with something worse, and you’d be none the wiser.”

“Maybe,” you take a deep breath. “Maybe Shoko should look me over, just in case?”

“Maybe,” he idles. “Let’s give it a day or two. If you aren’t better by then, I’ll have her look at you.”

A deep rumble comes from your stomach. By the time you came home last night, you were so exhausted that you went to bed without having a proper meal. 

Satoru laughs at the noise. “Hungry?”

“A bit,” you mumble sheepishly. “Though, I’m still feeling a bit nauseous.”

“No worries.” He stands up. “I know just what to make.”

He whips up some creamy soup in no time. It looks and smells rather rich, but it’s surprisingly light on your tongue and easy to swallow. You manage to slurp up only a few spoonfuls before you start coughing again. Only this time, droplets of blood and discolored pus stain the back of your hand, and your breathing is even more shallow and uneven.

“It’s most likely pneumonia,” Shoko states as she pulls her stethoscope away from your chest. “I won’t know for sure until I run some tests.” She rummages around her traveling bag and pulls out a tourniquet and a venipuncture needle. “I’ll draw some blood for now, and we’ll go from there.”

After collecting a vial of blood, she puts away her paraphernalia and leaves the room with Satoru in tow. You can barely make out her concerns from behind the door that whatever it is that’s inflicting you doesn’t appear deadly, but to not be too lax and keep her in the loop on your condition. They move away from the room. You can hear them talking still, but you can’t make out what they say exactly anymore.

There’s a slight metallic taste on your tongue. You look towards the glass of water on your nightstand. There’s still some left, but you’ve fallen back asleep before you even realized it.

Unfortunately, it is pneumonia. 

Shoko is kind enough to not only sign off on an antibiotic, but to bring it to your home so Satoru doesn’t have to leave your side. He never asks for days off from work. He can’t, really. Despite the short notice, he manages to find a suitable replacement for the next few days.

“‘M sorry,” you fret. “I should have been more careful. I should have-”

“Hey,” he interjects. “It’s like I said before, the curse you exorcized infected you out of desperation. That’s not something you can predict so easily.” 

“Still,” you insist. “Every sorcerer knows that exorcizing curses isn’t always the end of the job. God, if it isn’t one thing, it's another in this line of work!”

Your frustration kickstarts yet another coughing fit. It’s your third day bedridden. There’s more blood and pus coming out of your lungs. Your temperature hasn't gone up, but it hasn’t gone down either. You haven’t the energy to shower, or even stand up. Sleep comes sparingly despite your lack of energy to remain awake.

The worst of it all is that Satoru can only watch as your condition worsens. You hate being the reason he worries.

Why is breathing so difficult? It’s as if you’ve forgotten how to do it. You’ve never felt more pathetic in your life than you do now. The adrenaline that courses through your veins and accelerates your heartbeat and heightens your sense of fear means little to your growing frustration with yourself. Just breathe. Damn it, why can’t you just breathe?

It’s because you can’t.

You never noticed how weighty it was until it's been pulled off of you. There’s also a sting on your neck that you don’t remember there being. You still taste blood in your mouth, but now you’re starting to smell it too. It’s very pungent, and not in a good way.

“Stop,” Satoru pleads. “You’re bleeding.”

Were you not having an episode, you’d ask him what he was talking about. He grips your wrists and pulls them away from your body with immense struggle. There are smears of red underneath your nails. The stinging on your neck is much more intense. You still can’t breathe.

“I’m right here,” he cries. You hate it when he cries. “Like me, Yeah? In,” he takes in a long, slightly exaggerated breath. His chest expands and stretches his shirt out enough that the wrinkles that have set in disappear for a moment. “And then out.”

His chest deflates, and the wrinkles come back. He hasn’t changed since he come home, you realized.

He repeats his motions. “In,” he inhales. The wrinkles go away. “And then out,” he exhales. The wrinkles come back.

He does it again, and you follow along. Inhale when the wrinkles go away. Exhale when they reappear. In and then out. Inhale and exhale. In and then out. Inhale and exhale. He looked as if he was falling apart moments ago. The more you mimic him, the more relieved he is.

There is still a coating of infection around your throat that makes you sound hoarse and in pain, but you could care less how unappealing your throat sounds. At last, you’ve been reunited with your breath after so long. Had you not found it just then, you may have lost it forever. You would have…You almost…

You almost died, and now it’s your turn to fall apart. 

Despite its near-fatal grip on your injured throat, death does not claim you. Your energy does not come back to you gradually. There is still some exhaustion, but you feel almost like your old self when you wake up one morning. Standing up on your own feet is no longer an impossibility. Your first couple of steps after a week of being bedridden are wobbly, but you’re steady by your fifth.

The first thing you do is head to the bathroom and brush your teeth. You even do two rinses of mouthwash to expel the taste of rotting blood and phlegm between your teeth. Next on the list is a piping hot shower, so you can scrub away the sticky layer of sweat and funk you’ve been riddled with. Once you’re cleaned up and dressed in new clothes, you head to the kitchen to make yourself a small but filling breakfast, for yourself and your beloved caretaker.

He’s been sleeping upright in a chair he pulled from the dining table ever since you’ve been unwell. Like yourself, he hasn’t had much luck catching some proper rest. After what happened a few nights ago, he’s been eyeing you like a hawk. There was even an instance where you caught him with a hand resting on your chest, feeling the way it expands and collapses to ensure that you are indeed still breathing even while you dream.

As you top off a stack of pancakes with a dollop of whipped cream and sliced strawberries, a crash and a bang make you jump. Satoru comes barrelling into the kitchen, desperately in search of something, of you.

“There you are,” he exhales in solace. “How do you feel?”

“Better,” you smile. “A lot better.”

He returns your assurances with a grin of his own. “Good. That’s good.”

You go to grab a fork and knife from one of the drawers. He comes up from behind you and pulls you into an unyielding embrace against his chest. His encompassing hands reach up and stroke tenderly against the lacerations on your neck. You feel the way his chest evenly expands and collapses against your back. You match your own breathing with his own. In and then out. Inhale and exhale.

“I don’t deserve you,” you mutter against his hand, bestowing it a well-deserved, tender kiss.

[sl-ut]

i wanna be your girlfriend

PART FIVE

pairing: rue bennett x reader, rue bennett x jules vaughn, jules vaughn x reader (platonic), oc!piper x reader (mentioned)

description: rue and y/n are working on their friendship, but they soon realise that a broken friendship is much harder to fix when they both have feelings for each other. y/n and jules come to a disagreement.

warnings: canonical warnings; drug/substance abuse, sex, nudity, swearing, etc, etc. jules slander (not sorry), y/n is pretty bitchy (but not wrong)

words: 2.8K

date posted: 07/02/22

omg y’all don’t even know how fucking long this took me and how many times i rewrote this! it’s been almost two weeks since the last chapter, and i really am trying to get more chapters done more frequently, but i would also love love LOVE to diversify my blog a bit more by branching out into other fandoms. nearly all of my requests rn are for euphoria, and as much as i love them and will be working on them soon, i would love to see some other fandoms thrown in. just send a request, and if i know the fandom then i would love to do it, and if not i’ll try my best lol. ily all and tysm for all of the support on this series!!!!

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The opinion that Halloween was objectively the best holiday was a hill that Y/n was willing to die on. She used to tell me that it was all about the candy, and I’m sure that for a time, she truly believed that. But as we got older and the costumes became more emphasised on tighter fabrics and low necklines, the idea of Halloween changed for her in a jarringly drastic way.

Instead of chasing a high that came only with a lethal amount of sugar, Y/n sought the comfort that came with shedding her own skin and becoming someone else for just one night. For her first high school Halloween party in freshman year, she went as “Oops! … I Did It Again” Britney, and after two shots of tequila and a Four Loko, Y/n no longer felt like she was wearing a costume, but like she was now in her truest form. Each and every Britney song that played (which was quite a few once Y/n found out who was controlling the AUX cord) was performed on the coffee table with not one ounce of energy wasted. The next morning, Britney was laid to rest and Y/n was revived. The next year, she was Black Widow, and once again, her normal persona disappeared into that of the Russian spy’s. I wasn’t sure what I could expect from Y/n every year once Halloween rolled around, but with how secretive she was actually being about it this year, I was actually starting to get a little scared. 

Things were going relatively well between Y/n and I, all things considered. I guess you could say that we sort of went back to how it was at the beginning of the summer, with the additional awkwardness of less than platonic feelings, my sobriety, and whatever the fuck was going on with Jules.

The weeks following the carnival were, to be completely frank, really fucking weird. Nate Jacob’s suspension and potential arrest shook the school to its core, and Jules had been relatively scarce ever since, and when she actually bothered to show up, she was much touchier than usual, especially when I had anything to say about the whole “she fucked Nate’s dad” situation. Additionally, Y/n and I had barely gotten to spend any time together as we had planned, so all-in-all, I was having a terrible time.

“Hang outs have to be twice throughout the week and once on the weekend, minimum,” Y/n stressed, “And that doesn’t include groups, like Jules and Piper. Just us.”

Y/n had struck up several conditions as to what they should do in order to restore their friendship, and though they weren’t exactly unreasonable, it was just strange for her to be so uptight with Rue.

“Sounds fair,” Rue hummed, “But I have a condition of my own.”

“And what’s that?”

She smirked over at Y/n, already anticipating the reaction that she was about to get from her oh-so-controversial opinion, “No Megan Fox movies, seriously.”

“Rue, I swear to God, you better be fucking joking right now.”

These hangouts seemed to be pretty limited to whenever we could see each other outside of school, which was averaging out to be twenty minutes between the time the school ended until she would eventually answer Maddy’s call and go over to her place. Not to mention, most of the time that we did have together in school was always interrupted by Piper’s constant need to be feeling Y/n up at every given moment.

The week leading up to Halloween changed. Y/n’s time was suddenly all freed up, claiming that Maddy had decided on taking some ‘alone time,’ and suddenly, most of our afternoons were spent together, which, strangely enough, was around the same time that Jules was officially MIA. Anyone else would almost feel like they were just swapping them out for one another, and to be quite honest, I like the consistency of having just one person to worry about, though I had to admit that it was nice to hang out with Y/n and not have to listen to her drone on and on about some guy she met online.

Jules reemerged on Friday of that week, just in time for Halloween. I wasn’t entirely sure how it would play out with both Y/n and Jules together, especially considering that the last time they really interacted with each other, both of them were both pretty bitchy.

Something felt off about that Halloween, though. I’d gone to the party that Saturday night with Jules, Kat, Cassie, and Lexi, and all things considered, each of them were acting pretty fucking strange. Y/n, for some reason, really enjoyed handing out candy to the few trick-or-treaters that came to her place, and planned to meet us there, and I’m not sure that anything could have prepared me to see her walk in the front door as–

“Officer Judy Hopps!” Lexi shouted as she spotted Y/n.

“Reporting for duty!” She saluted the infamous painter, “Glad to see you could make it, Mr. Ross.”

Looking back on it, I don’t know how Y/n and Lexi have gone so long without hanging out on their own.

“Who?”

“Oh, come on, Rue. Zootopia?” Y/n placed her hands on her hips and did a small twirl, shaking her bum to show off the small cotton tail attached to the back of her shorts, “Don’t say you haven’t watched it.”

Rue pursed her lips and glanced over at Kat, who shook her head, “Uh, no.”

“Well then, thank you, Lexi. For making me not feel like I’m crazy.”

“Hey, if it's any consolation, you do look really hot.” Kat offered as she slid a red cup across the counter to her.

“You know what, I’ll take it.”

Y/n turned to Rue, smiling up at the taller girl as she lifted the cup to her lips, “Where’s Jules? I thought you said you two were coming together?”

“Well, not like together together, but…” Rue glanced around the kitchen of the large house, shrugging, “I don’t really know. She’s around here somewhere.”

Rue wanted to say that she was able to pick up on a small look of relief on Y/n’s face, her heart skipping a beat at the notion of Y/n being glad that she and Jules were not together. With a mischievous glint in her eye, she tilted her head back to swallow the contents of the red cup before she threw it aside, fingers wrapping around Rue’s wrist as she pulled her out of the kitchen and into the busy living room.

“What are you doing?” Rue watched as the girl whirled around, tugging her close enough that their chests touched as she began moving her limbs wildly to the beat of the music.

“Dancing, what does it look like?”

“Honestly?” Rue laughed, “It looks like you’re having a seizure.”

Y/n’s head tilted backwards as she let out a loud chuckle, though her bizarre movements did not falter. Instead, one of her hands interlocked with Rue’s, swinging her arm with enough force to cause her entire body to begin shifting from side to side until eventually, Rue began to copy her motions on her own. The two girls remained like that for what felt like hours, swaying in close proximity to one another, cheesy grins across their faces as their bodies moved against one another.

Rue raised Y/n’s hand over her head, twirling her around repeatedly and gasping out a laugh as their bodies were forcefully pressed together as Y/n struggled to keep her balance. Y/n grinned up at Rue, winding her arms around her slim waist as they continued to rock back and forth. For the first time in a very long time, it felt as if nothing had ever happened. Their eyes remained locked on one another’s as they swayed, foreheads touching as they leaned closer.

Y/n gulped, parting her lips as her breath quickened. She couldn’t recall the last time she felt so close to Rue. Even before she went to Maui and Rue was put in rehab, there was a period of time where things just felt different between them, where Y/n put a bit more effort into how she looked when she was with her, the way she snuggled so much closer while they lay in her bed at night. She hadn’t even noticed the shift in dynamic until she thought of Rue during one of her typical hookups, and even almost let her name fall from her lips as she tipped over the edge into ecstasy. Rue was like a drug to Y/n, and she hadn’t truly acknowledged how intense the withdrawals were until that moment. None of the other women made her feel the way that she did when she was with Rue, not even those who she had genuinely believed herself to like. Her eyes stung and became visibly glassy as she stared up at Rue, relishing in the whispery breaths that brushed against her warm cheeks.

“Rue…”

A third body slammed into the two of them, long, slim arms wrapping around their shoulders as they were forced out of their embrace, “Hey, guys!”

Jules was drunk, there was no denying it. Her body was unsteady as her fingers gripped into both Y/n and Rue’s shoulders for support, and her rosy cheeks were starkly contrasting against her otherwise pale flesh and bleach blonde hair. Y/n stumbled slightly as Jules shifted her weight against her, struggling for a moment to keep them both on their feet.

Rue’s face exposed the mixture of emotions that had struck her at the sight of her friend; Confusion, concern, disappointment… The corners of her lips tugged downwards, and in that moment, it dawned on Y/n how difficult it must be for Rue to be near so many different substances that were readily available for her consumption, and yet here she was, completely sober, and until just then, she didn’t even seem to be minding it all that much.

“Oh, hey Jules,” Y/n braced a hand against her back, “You doing okay?”

“Totally,” She slurred, “I just wanna party! Come on, Rue!”

Discomfort was clear on Rue’s face as Jules waved a red cup around in front of her, meeting Y/n’s concerned gaze over Jules’ shoulder.

“Rue, do you maybe wanna go grab her some water? I can stay with her.”

Rue nodded, pushing her way through the crowd frantically in the direction of the kitchen, leaving the two girls on their own. Jules stumbled slightly at the lack of support on her left side, red liquid sloshing over the side of the cup and dripping down the front of her long white dress.

“Jules, I’m not usually the one to rain on someone else's parade, but I really think you need to take it easy right now, for Rue’s sake.”

Jules chuckled humourlessly, “You’re kidding, right?”

“Why would I be kidding?”

“Since when have you been doing things for Rue’s sake? Cause you definitely weren’t thinking about her anytime up until now. I knew I didn’t like you for a reason, I just didn’t realise that you were so fucking selfish.”

Y/n reached out, snatching the cup from her and dumping the contents out onto the floor behind her carelessly before she let the cup clatter onto the floor.

“What the fuck?”

“I’m selfish? You’re the one throwing liquor around in front of your so-called best friend, who’s a recovering addict.”

“You don’t get to say that to me,” Jules stumbled forward to sneer at the other girl, “You don’t know a fucking thing about me, so don’t ever tell me what to fucking do.”

Normally, anyone else would have had a broken nose for talking to Y/n like that, but this wasn’t just anyone, this was Jules. She would never admit to it, but I always knew that she put up with her simply to avoid upsetting me.

“You’re right, I don’t know a fucking thing about you, and honestly, I’d rather keep it that way, but we both know that this shit isn’t easy on Rue. You’re being a really bad fucking friend right now, man.”

“Fuck you.”

Jules shoved her away, storming through the crowd and completely ignoring Rue as she called after her. Rue turned to Y/n with a questioning stare.

“What the fuck just happened?”

“I just tried to get her to sober up.”

Rue shook her head, “Something’s wrong with her, I can feel it.”

Y/n ran her hand over the back of Rue’s suit jacket comfortably, scanning the crowd for the tall blonde. She easily spotted her across the room with Kat, who appeared her normal level of tipsy. She pointed her out to the brunette, who seemed comforted at the fact that she wasn’t just stumbling around on her own, though her body quickly tensed up as her eyes fell on the familiar frame of her younger sister, slumped into the couch next to the same kid who’d gotten her high at the carnival.

“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Y/n weaved through the crowd in an attempt to keep up with Rue’s rapid pace, almost slamming into her back as she came to a sudden halt in front of the couch.

“What are you doing here?” Gia sat up straighter, eyes shifting between her older sister and the girl standing just next to her.

“What am I doing here?” Rue scoffed, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Y/n recognized the boy as one of Chris McKay’s younger brothers, though she couldn’t decipher which of the twins he was.

“Getting lit,” He grinned up at the pair, tauntingly.

“I’ll deal with your ass later,” Rue turned to him with a dark look in her brown eyes, “Get up.”

“What?”

“I said get the fuck up.”

In hindsight, it may not have been my best idea to interrogate some prick who was trying to get into my baby sister’s pants with the two most ridiculously dressed people at the party. I’m sure that my intimidation attempt was slightly foiled at the sight of Officer Bunny behind me, though anyone with a single brain cell knew well enough to be kind of scared when an addict threatens to sic her addict friends on them.

Rue and Y/n watched in amusement as the boy, who they had learned was Troy, scrambled over to Gia, glancing over his shoulder at the pair of them every few moments. They shared a soft fist bump as Gia’s face lit up in glee as he began to flood her with compliments.

“Do you wanna get some air?”

Rue nodded, and allowed Y/n to lead the way through the living room and out through the large sliding doors that led out to the pool deck. The pair found an unoccupied loveseat on the opposing side of the pool, and quickly sunk into the soft cushions.

“You okay?”

Rue let out a shuddered breath, shrugging her shoulders as she leaned into Y/n’s warm embrace, “Fine.”

“Do you wanna go home?” She whispered, “I didn’t even think about how hard it actually is for you to be here until I saw Jules.”

She shrugged, “It’s fine.”

The pair fell quiet for a few moments, basking in the comfortable silence that came so easily to them.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Rue tilted her head to stare up at her with furrowed brows.

“That I wasn’t there for you. I can’t believe that I just let our friendship go so easily.” Y/n muttered, “I blamed you for so long, I even wanted to hate you for just ghosting me, but I didn’t fight for us either, and I can never tell you how sorry I am for that.”

Rue leaned forward and pressed her forehead against Y/n’s gently, not breaking eye contact, “You don’t have to apologise. I think both of us know that it was me who really fucked everything up. The drugs, the lying, that text…”

Y/n frowned, “Don’t apologise for the text, please. An apology is a shitty way to admit that you didn’t mean it.”

Rue watched her for several moments, scanning her face for any sort of humour. Not finding any, Rue inched forward just an inch, ghosting her lips over Y/n’s for a brief moment before finally laying a gentle kiss on the soft flesh. Both girls grinned widely as they pulled away, faces hot with blush.

“Okay. I won’t.”

MY WORK IS, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE, TO BE REPOSTED OR SHARED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. I HAVE NEVER GIVEN CONSENT TO MY WORK BEING SHARED, SO IF YOU SEE ANOTHER ACCOUNT POSTING MY CONTENT PLS LET ME KNOW.

tags: @ariianelle @charliesdaze @imdumbhi @a-wimpy-kids-musings @supmydudeswheresthedepression @7thavenger @paetonnn @buckysjuicyplums @babadowie

(willing to tag anyone else in this series, but i will not be maintaining any major taglists for the rest of my work)

[mariaiscrafting]

no, you know what, I’m going to stop vague’ing on the dash. my anger is about to get extremely direct and enraged, so fair warning, but I don’t care about anyone’s comfort right now. I’m going to get fucking mad, and you all will fucking deal.

not a single one of us has the right, or should even have the option, to guess about ccs’ sexualities. I’ve kept my mouth shut when it comes to people analyzing george/dream and guessing they’re some kind of queer, but I’m fucking done. I’m going to go into every single reason “truthing” about ccs’ sexualities is just so beyond fucked.

first of all, this is in response specifically to ranboo and tubbo truthing. being a kid and getting thrown into such a massive spotlight, where you will undoubtedly be subject to some fuck shit eventually because the internet is full of thousands upon thousands of people, is already terrifying and anxiety-inducing and damaging enough. but for their own audiencemembers - their own supposed fucking “fans” - to take it one step further and speculate about their sexualities? oh, for the love of god. I can barely believe I even have to explain how fucked that is. it is one thing to be friends with or close to someone in real life and recognize your own queer struggle in them, to approach them with sympathy and support in case they are questioning. it is another thing entirely to speculate about the sexuality of someone you don’t even know, and to then take it a step further and “truth” about your fucking theories. you are not an expert, you are not their friend, and you are not a fucking oracle. you can guess all you want about a cc’s sexuality, you can comment on how their actions or behaviors or words resonate with you when you were questioning or closeted, but to go ahead and take your own speculation as truth is arrogant, presumptous, and damaging as all hell. 

I can just imagine what it would’ve been like if I’d grown an online platform that ripped me of my privacy when I was a teenager and trying to figure out my own sexuality. if I had a section of my audience analyzing my every social media post, the inflection in my voice and the nature of my laughs, my every interaction with my best friend, you know what I would’ve done? retreated so far into the closet that I would probably have tricked myself into thinking I was heterosexual. I would’ve been so fucking terrified and felt so stripped of any privacy or control I had over my own goddamn thoughts; do you understand how fucking vile that is? have none of you ever been terrified of giving away your own sexuality through your mannerisms and facial expressions and words, while you were closeted? have none of you ever experienced that utter fucking terror when you notice someone start to question your sexuality, the immediate urge to retreat and back up and act and believe the complete opposite just to prove them wrong and go back to the safety and security of them believing you were straight? for fuck’s sake, now imagine that feeling amplified a hundred fold, applied not just to one instance or one person in your life, but to thousands. do y’all not understand just how a) morally fucked it is to inflict this same kind of practice onto someone you supposedly care about and support, and b) potentially psychologically damaging this could be to ccs who are closeted, especially the fucking minors? oh my fucking god.

that isn’t even to point out why people do this shit - which is to project and find solace and derive some kind of enjoyment out of cc’s. that’s what cc’s are there for; they are entertainers, first and foremost, which continues outside of streams and bleeds into fandom culture and the kind of enjoyment fans can make out of interacting with other fans and creating their own fan content. the problem with this fact is that fans take it too far, like 85% of the time. cc’s aren’t just there for our own enjoyment. they are fucking people, oh my lord. they are real people that we will never know, and while we may have our fun with our little theories and talking to other fans and making and watching cute compilations and writing fanfiction and making fanart, we are just deriving entertainment from the parts of themselves they choose to show us. that persona they put on for the stream, that is not 100% them. they are real, rounded, 3-d, full people who we only ever get the privilege of witnessing a small sliver of. and we need to fucking remember that, because we can’t just keep running with the ideas of ccs that we have in our heads and treating them like they’re malleable characters for our own entertainment. 

anyways, specifically about truthing (and mind you, this is the point in the rant where a little of my anger starts to seep out because I’m tired and it’s 1:40 AM and I have class tomorrow): there’s so many things that can be said about gaydar. I’m not here to argue whether or not it exists, or the details of the morality of straight versus non-straight people engaging in the practice of truthing. I’m just here to say that, even if you believe gaydar exists and can be accurate when employed by non-straight people, that still only applies to people you fucking know. what you see of a cc is not “getting to know” them. what you are seeing is one face of a multi-faceted jewel, cut in far more ways that you can ever hope to one day perceive. your theories are just those - theories. whatever you might think of the giggles you heard or the pickup lines you saw uttered or the softness you imagine between x and y, human interaction is far too complex and laced with meaning for some rando on the internet who watches youtube videos and twitch streams to fully grasp from two entertainers working from behind a screen. your gaydar is not going to fucking work through a screen, fuck off with that shit.

another thing that’s fucking bothering me so much is this assumption that comes with being at all open about queerness when you yourself are not queer. ik this is just one of the many factors “truthers” use to justify the findings of their totally infallible, prophetic gaydar, but it’s a factor nonetheless, and it bothers the fuck outta me. someone being willing to express support for lgbt people or donate to lgbt chairities or open to conversations with other lgbt people about lgbt endeavors is not evidence of queerness. to say that it is contributes to the harmful belief that cishets still have that they cannot be any of those things - that is, exceedingly open about and to queerness - without being perceived as queer themselves. 

anyways, and now we are at the bottom line, which is that, this entire conversation wouldn’t even have to be had if people just fucking listened to cc boundaries. ranboo and tubbo do not like being shipped. it is that fucking simple. i know that it is tempting to ship two people you think are cute together. i know it is tempting to indulge in a dynamic you find comforting. but idgaf. temptation is not an excuse. find some fictional characters to ship, and kindly fuck off.

[silkling]

Good day, @pastelpaperplanes. It’s me. Again. Here with another fic for your C&M Prowl. This time it’s the Jettwins edition! The fandom needs more jettwins content, so I made some. Fear not, this time it’s just silly fluff and sibling idiocy. Hope y’all like it! Fair warning, this is a long one.

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Jetstorm woke up to the smell of something cooking. That in and of itself wasn’t all too odd–Jazz enjoyed cooking, and it was fairly common for the three of them to eat breakfast together in the mornings when their respective jobs didn’t require an earlier start. However, Jazz also had a large sweet tooth, and so did his brother, which meant his breakfasts usually consisted of things like pancakes and waffles and other similar sweetened breakfasts. Jetstorm didn’t mind sweets. He loved a good dessert just as much as Jetfire did, but for his meals, he preferred savory food. Usually, this meant Jazz would have to cook a smaller portion of something like cyber-hen eggs or mecha-hog bacon for him. However, this morning was notable because the food Jetstorm smelled cooking wasn’t sweet. It also seemed milder, somehow, than the strong smell that usually filled the house when Jazz cooked.

Curious, the young bot shifted under the covers, scowling when he realized that Jetfire was once again tangled around him. They both had their own rooms, but the twins would often sleep curled up together if the mood struck. It was comforting to have the familiar weight at his back at night, but in the morning, when he wanted out of bed, it was irritating to have to fight his brother’s unconscious body for freedom. Finally, he succeeded....only to end up throwing himself halfway off the bed, face pressed to the floor and legs tangled in what little blanket Jetfire hadn’t stolen from him. Jetstorm just lay there in defeat for a long moment, then pushed himself up onto his hands and pulled his legs free. He slid fully to the floor, then slowly stood and crept out of his room while Jetfire slept on. As he closed the door, his brother sprawled into the warm spot he had previously occupied, even further rolling himself into the blanket as he did so.

Jetstorm sighed, rolled his eyes and crossing his arms, only to pause as he realized he’d left his visor on his nightstand. He tilted his head, considering for a moment before shrugging and going to follow to smell that had woken him. He stepped out of the hallway that led to the bedrooms, only to pause when he saw who exactly was at the kitchen counter. It wasn’t Jazz. No, it was actually their guest. Prowl stood there, mixing something in a pot over the stove, dressed in a loose sleeping robe that Jetstorm recognized as belonging to their guardian. Ah, that was right. He’d come over the day before to talk with Jazz, and they’d spent so long together that it had been dark by the time Jazz suggested Prowl might as well stay the night.

He still remembered the day they’d met the strange mech. After Prowl had thrown their frisbee that day in the park, and Jazz had seen him, their adoptive father had all but tackled the smaller bot on a hug so tight Jetstorm was still surprised he hadn’t broken anything. They’d stayed like that for a long time, Jazz just whispering things to Prowl is a tearful rasp that Jetfire and he hasn’t been able to hear. His brother had made to interrupt, but then he’d heard the hoarse “I finally found you” from the white mech and it had clicked. This was Prowl. The same Prowl Jazz had told them about (though he’d only ever been able to bring himself to tell the twins about his lost friend on a couple occasions, the topic obviously still painful to their guardian), the same Prowl that Jazz had spent the past several years trying to find. He’d pulled his brother back, hissed a hurried “Do not be interrupting, it be Jazz’s friend Prowl that he be telling us about” at the orange mechling, and his brother had stilled as the realization caught up. After that, they’d all eventually made it back to the house, where Jazz and Prowl had talked for the rest of the day while the twins played in the yard, and though the black and gold mech had left that night, he had also become a somewhat regular guest. Though, sometimes Jazz had to literally drag him here.

“You’re staring.”

Jetstorm startled at the smooth voice, stifling a yelp. He flushed when he realized he’d just been standing there, lost in thought. “I am sorry.” he said after a brief pause. “I was thinking you were Jazz.”

Prowl turned his head to look at the youngling over his shoulder, and Jetstorm was startled to see that the Praxian was without his own visor just as he himself was. “I take it Jazz cooks for you two in the morning?”

Jetstorm nodded, then sniffed at the air and padded over, peering curiously at the food the older mech was preparing. “What you be making?” he asked, curious. “Jazz and Jetfire like sweet breakfast, so we be having that often. But this does not be smelling sweet.”

Prowl paused, frowning. “I know Jazz has a sweet tooth.” he said after a moment. “But would all of you prefer something sweet?” he seemed hesitant, and Jetstorm quickly realized he seemed displeased with the idea. It seemed this bot too preferred a non-sweet breakfast.

“No.” he assured. “They be eating not sweet breakfast as well. I be liking not sweet better for my breakfast. Sweet is for desert, I think.” he explained.

He noticed Prowl’s faint hum and the way his shoulders relaxed. “I see. Then it seems you and I are of the same thought.”

Jetstorm nodded, then stared at the ingredients laid out on the counter. “What you be making? I am not recognizing this.”

“Currently, I am preparing miso. It is a broth traditional to my home, made with a metalli-plant product and energon. I also plan on making rice and some egg roll.”

The youngling perked up at the mention of the last food, head tilting. “How do you be rolling an egg?” he asked, confused.

Prowl blinked, glancing at him. “You prepare the mix, then pour a thin layer of it in a heated pan, and as each layer cooks you roll it on itself, push it to the side of the pan, and add another layer.”

Jetstorm stared, brain struggling to picture his that would work, before he gave up and asked another question. “Can I help? Jazz is be cooking with me sometimes.”

Prowl seemed startled by the question, before he paused and nodded. “...I can take care of the rice. The miso just needs to simmer until it’s served. I can guide you through making the egg roll, if you’d like?”

Jetstorm perked up, beaming at the elder bot. “I be liking that very much!” he said eagerly. “Thank you!”

Prowl blinked slowly, then nodded and gestured at the young bot. “Get a bowl, a whisk, and some cyber-hen eggs.” he instructed, rummaging in the cupboards for rice, he stopped in surprise when he noticed a rice cooker, shaking his head as a small smile twitched at his lips. He shouldn’t be surprised. It was Jazz, after all. He pulled the rice cooker out of the cupboard, then found some rice in the next one over.

Jetstorm, meanwhile, gathered the things as instructed before turning back to the elder mech. “What else I be needing?” he asked

“Sugar, salt, soy sauce, and rice vinegar.”

The youngling gathered those as well, and turned his attention to Prowl once more. By that time, the older bot had set the rice to cook, and turned to focus on his cooking companion. Seeing the littler bot standing eagerly, Prowl restrained a smile. This was odd, but it was also....nice.

He guided Jetstorm through making the mix for the egg roll, letting the youngling do all the work as he kept watch. By the time the bot was almost done cooking the second roll, Jazz and Jetfire trudged into the kitchen, bleary eyed and curious at the smell of food.

Jazz recognized the meal immediately, perking up. “Makin’ yer favorite breakfast, Prowler?” he rumbled, walking past his friend to grab dishes, bumping their shoulders as he did. At his friend’s snort and muttered “obviously” he just chuckled and shook his head. Then he went out to the dining room, Jetfire following with cutlery. Prowl and Jerstorm transferred the food to serving dishware, then brought it out and sat down.

Jetstorm watched as the older ninja sliced the egg rolls, taking a few pieces for himself, then ladling miso into a small bowl and scooping rice onto his plate. The other three followed suit, and Jetstorm was about to spoon some miso into his mouth when he noticed both adults were simply lifting the small bowls to their lips to drink the broth. He blinked, startled, but shrugged it off and followed suit. If that was how it was meant to be consumed, who was he to disagree?

He returned his attention to Prowl as the older bot went to eat a bite of egg role, holding his breath. He blinked, then made an approving hum and took another bite. “Very well done, Jetstorm.” He said softly.

The youngling beamed at the praise, taking a bite of his own portion and humming. This was nice! It was very faintly sweet, but not too much so, and it went well alongside the rest of the breakfast.

“Prowl’s right, Jetstorm.” Jazz grinned at his young charge, “Ya did a fine job this mornin’, mechling.”

“Thank you.” Jetstrom said with a faint, shy grin.

“You be the one who is making the egg?” Jetfire asked, surprised.

“Yes, Prowl be teaching me!” Jetstorm chirped cheerfully, grinning at his brother. “Do you like it, brother? It is not being as sweet as your normal breakfast, but I think it is tasting good.” he hummed, taking another bite.

Jetfire hummed, pausing as he took a bite. “It is tasting good.” he said after a moment of thought. “Is it supposed to be so lumpy?”

At that, Jetstorm winced. While it was true the egg rolls tasted good, they were indeed lumpy and a bit wrinkled. He had struggled with rolling them properly, as each layer was so thin it broke too easily. “No.” he said despondently.

“That doesn’t matter.” Prowl said smoothly. “You did very well. Better than I did the first time I made these. My first attempt wasn’t even edible.” he murmured into a sip of miso.

Jetstrom blinked. “Really? So I is not being too bad at rolling the egg?”

Prowl quirked his lips. “Really. You just need to practice.” he paused as if thinking. “I...would also not mind cooking further meals with you in the future.”

At that, Jetstrom looked positively delighted. “You be hearing that, brother?” he crowed. “I can be cooking with Prowl again!”

Jetfire snorted into his rice. “You be saying that like you be winning something, brother!” he snipped. “Cooking is not being fun! It is so boring it be making me want to sleep!” he complained.

Jetstorm bristled. “That is not being true!” he protested. “And anyway, you be finding anything without action boring!”

Jetfire bristled, looking like he was going to snap something back when Prowl cleared his throat. “Jazz told me you two work during the day?” he said smoothly, redirecting their attention to him.

Jetstorm grinned. “Yes! Jetfire and I are being delivery bots! We are riding are special bike, it is being called Safeguard! We have been the ones who be building it!” he chirped.

“Impressive.” Prowl said, tilting his head.

Jetfire preened under the praise. “It is not always be working right, so we always be having to fix and upgrade it, but one day we will be making it work and then we will be the fastest delivery bots on all of Cybertron!”

“That is only being happening if you can be steering right when you drive!” Jetstrom cut in with a grin.

“I can be steering right! I am not the one who crashed us into the river!” Jetfire snarled in return.

“That time I was only be crashing us because you were being distracting!”

“I was not being! You could not be seeing the road right, brother! Are you being sure you do not need optical correctors?”

“I do not be needing them!” Jetstorm bared his teeth.

(Jazz watched, grinning into his bowl of miso, as Prowl once more redirected the twins from their argument. His old friend asked another carefully constructed question, trying to pull the two younglings into a proper discussion, and he felt something warm and fond settle deep in his chest. He’d missed Prowl something fierce in the years since the little ninja had gone missing, and a part of him was scared he’d never see Prowl again whenever he left his sight. But seeing this, his old friend and one of the most beloved people in his life, interacting so naturally with the little bots he’d adopted and come to love as his own sons...it did him something good. This, right here, was everything he had ever wanted for his future. Eating a nice, home cooked meal with his family, just enjoying a peaceful, easy morning. He knew Prowl would have to leave soon, but if he could have more days like this...he’d be happy. This was good. This was what home was supposed to be.)

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Jetfire set down his gaming console with an irritated grumble. He’d lost. Again. For some reason, he level he was on kept stumping him every time he tried it. He grumbled, flopping into a wide sprawl on his bed and staring at the ceiling of his room, which was decorated with a giant glow in the dark dragon sticker. He was bored. He couldn’t play with Jetstorm; his brother had gone with Jazz to the grocery store. But...Prowl had stayed. Maybe he could see what their adoptive Sire’s old friend was up to?

He slipped out of bed, having gotten properly dressed after breakfast, and padded out of his room. He checked the living room, but found it empty, and then wandered around the house until he saw the older mech in the back yard. He paused, watching him through the window. Prowl shifted into a crouch, hands pulled in against his hips, then shifted his weight slowly to his back foot before moving swiftly to shift his weight forward, leap straight up, and execute a complex twist and kick in the air before landing in a wider, lower crouch, one leg bent and the other straight, almost sitting in the grass, with one arm up by his shoulders and the other remains tucked close to his hips. Jetfire gaped, eyes going wide at the maneuver. It was complex, but Prowl had made it look so smooth and even, his movements natural and easy and Jetfire wanted.

The youngling hurried to the door, opening it and pouncing into the yard with an eager look. “That is being so cool!” he gasped, loud and delighted.

Prowl startled, body going stiff as he jerked to attention and snapped his head towards the smaller mech. “What?” he asked, confused.

“You did the kick and twist, yes? I was being watching you!” Jetfire chirped, practically bouncing in place. “It is being very cool. Do you be thinking you can teach me?” he asked, eyes wide and pleading and oh-so-hopeful.

Prowl faltered, stuttering as he tried to gather his thoughts after being so roughly startled out of his meditative mindset. After a moment, he managed to gather himself, and he straightened to stand fully. He was dressed in a loose tank top and sweatpants he’d borrowed his Jazz, once again wearing his visor, and his feet were bare. He’d come out here to the yard to practice some of his forms while his old friend was shopping. He’d thought Jazz had taken both younglings with him, but apparently the orange twin had stayed behind. He cleared his throat, frowning. “I am not sure.” he said haltingly.

Jetfire blinked, then frowned. “Please?” he asked earnestly. “It be looking fun and cool and I is being wanting to be able to do that too.”

Prowl sighed, crossing his arms and regarding the youngling. “I can’t teach you the maneuver you saw me do. Not yet. It took me training and practice before I could do that. Lots of it.”

Jetfire blinked, then sagged, signing. “I be understanding.” he said quietly. If it really did take that much training, he couldn’t fault the mech for not wanting to teach him.

Prowl paused when he saw how down the mechling looked, and he sighed. “...if you are willing to start with something less exciting, I would be alright with beginning to teach you the basics.” he offered. He didn’t know why he was doing this. Maybe it was because it felt wrong to see the orange youngling so down. Maybe it was because he remembered how he’d enjoyed bonding with Jetstorm that morning, and maybe it was because an old, long-buried part of him remembered how nice it felt to go through the forms with another frame at his side.

Jetfire perked up at the offer, the action almost puppy-ish in the way the little bot visibly brightened and his eyes lit up. “You be meaning it?” he asked eagerly. “You are really being okay with teaching me?”

“As long as you’re prepared for less glamorous lessons in the beginning.” Prowl said, bemused. At Jetfire’s rapid nodding, the ninja’s lips twitched. “First, you need better clothes. We don’t have proper training clothing here, but sweatpants and a tank top will do. Don’t wear your shoes.” he instructed,

Jetfire snapped a salute, then turned on his heel and raced to change. When he returned, he was dressed in his own tank top and sweatpants, and and came to a stop in front of Prowl. He was all but vibrating with his eagerness.

Prowl tilted his head, then nodded. “I want to teach you meditation at some point, as being able to slip your mind into a calm, still state is rather important for later lessons. But for now, I can teach you warm-up stretches and basic stances.” he said.

Jetfire made a face at the mention of meditation. But, he did remember that maneuver earlier. Prowl had looked so peaceful, and so calm and serene, and if that was a result of meditation than Jetfire was willing to give it a go. “Okay!” he chirped, snapping another salute.

Prowl exhaled a brief huff of laughter, then gestured the youngling to his side. “Do as I do. I’m going to guide you through a set of warm-up stretches. It will allow your body to be properly prepare for the real action.” he explained.

Jetfire nodded, then did as Prowl indicated. He watched as the older mech slid his feet into a wider stance, then arched down and to the side, stretching his arms down to touch his ankle and keeping his legs straight. He held that position, then slowly pulled up and repeated the action on the other side. After a brief hesitation, Jetfire copied him.

They spent a while slipping though various stretches, and by the end Jetfire was surprised by how he ached. It was bearable, but his body also was definitely not used to that type of activity. Still, he had to admit, his limbs did feel almost...looser, and he could understand why these stretches would be important before doing something more serious.

Prowl was watching the youngling carefully, and he nodded as he seemed to observe...whatever he was looking for. “Are you ready to continue?”

Jetfire nodded. “Ready!”

“Good. Try to copy me as best you can. I’ll correct you if need be. Right now, I’m going to just show you a few simpler stances.” He explained.

Prowl shifted, then stood with his back straight, feet planted shoulder width apart, hands fisted, and wrists crossed at his front near his hips. Jetfire stared, then mimicked him carefully, brow furrowed.

“This is the ready stance. It’s very easy to slip from this stance into the other basic forms.” he explained. “Hold it as you are. I’ll correct you.”

He slipped out of the stance, then walked forward and paced in a circle around the youngling. At his back, he pressed his palm to Jetfire’s spine. “Straighten further. Posture is important for what I’m teaching you. Poor posture can lead to improper balance, and that can in turn lead to injury.” he said carefully.

Jetfire straightened his spine, waiting until Prowl was in front of him again. The Praxian nodded. “Good. Now copy me again. I’ll show you another.”

He stepped back, slipping into the ready stance, then spun on his right heel 90° to the left, stepping forward with his left foot as he did. His left leg bent, his right remained straight. His left arm raised, elbow bent, to block in font of his face, and his right arm was bent tucked to his hip, hand fisted. Then in one movement, he lowered his blocking arm to bend and tuck at his hip, hand fisting, while his other arm shot out straight into a punch. He held that, then shifted his left foot back, arms relaxing to lover at cross in front of him at his hips until he was once more in the ready stance.

Jetfire watched everything with rapt attention, as as soon as the older bot looked at him he did his best to copy. He slid into the ready stance, about to move when Prowl stopped him.

“Slowly. Keep your back straight all throughout.” Then he stepped back and walked around the youngling to observe him carefully.

Jetfire did his best to copy what he’d seen Prowl do, but even he could tell it wasn’t perfect. The surprising thing was that, every time Prowl noticed a mistake in his stance, he’d put a hand out to halt the youngling, gently correct it, and then let him continue. Jetfire performed the whole maneuver several times, Prowl making corrections every time he did, until finally the Praxian nodded.

“Good.” he said, sounding pleased.

Then he moved to stand next to the youngling. “Together, now.” he encouraged.

And so they did. Jetfire could tell that Prowl’s movements were much more fluid, much more elegant, but at that moment he didn’t care. Pride filled his chest and he grinned as he came to a finish in the ready stance. As soon as he saw Prowl shift out of his own finishing stance and relax, the youngling launched himself at the older mech in a hug.

“Thank you!” he gasped, loud and delighted. This wasn’t as exciting as that twisting air kick, but for once Jetfire didn’t mind the lack of action. He’d found his body challenged all afternoon, his mind having to constantly work to keep track of every inch of his body to keep his form right, and he liked it. “Can you be teaching me more?” he asked eagerly.

Prowl blinked, then relaxed and shifted his arms to awkwardly hug Jetfire back, though the youngling didn’t seem to mind the stiffness of the action. “Not now. Your body needs rest. It’s not used to such activity. But...how about I teach you more the next time I’m here? In the meantime, practice those stretches and that maneuver.”

Jetfire blinked, then beamed. He stepped back, standing another salute and laughing. “Okay!”

At the the youngling’s playful actions, Prowl could only smile and shake his head.

(Jazz watched from the window, his lips pulled into a wide grin. He and Jetstorm had returned a short while before. The blue twin was digging through the kitchen for a snack, and Jazz had come looking for his other son and friend. He’d come to the window just in time to see Prowl step next to Jetfire and see them both shift through what he recognized as one of the first most basic sets of Circuit-Su. The full maneuver was actually much longer, but that was the first part of it. Jazz had watched Prowl perform it countless times in their youth. He watched his son laugh and tackle his old friend, and found his grin growing. He knew he couldn’t stop Prowl from continuing his self-imposed mission, but maybe, just maybe...he could give him a home, and more importantly, a family, to return to. Though, as he watched Jetfire send Prowl a sloppy salute and watched Prowl smile, he realized that maybe the twins were already taking care of that.)

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Dinner had come and gone, and Jazz and Prowl were out in the backyard, talking about...whatever it was they talked about. The Twins were curled up on the bed in Jetstorm’s room, staring at the large glow in the dark nebula painted onto the ceiling.

“Brother?” Jetstorm said quietly. “What you be thinking about Prowl?”

Jetfire was quiet for a moment, before he spoke. “I is liking him. He is not treating us like younglings when he fight, and he is not getting angry when I mess up when he is teaching me.”

Jetstorm nodded. “Yes. He did not be angry when I did not make the egg roll correctly.” he agreed.

Jetfire hummed, seemingly thinking hard about something. Jetstorm couldn’t resist. “Do not be thinking too hard, brother! I am not being sure your processor can handle the strain!” he crowed.

Immediately, Jetfire seemed to snap out of whatever train of thought he’d been stuck on. He rolled to face his brother with a snarl, eyes narrowed. They were both dressed in pajamas, and Jetstorm wasn’t wearing his visor. “Did you just suggest I’m being stupid?” he barked, eyes narrowed.

Jetstorm blinked at him, eyes wide and innocent. “Is it not the truth, brother?” he asked. “You could not even finish one level on your game. You be having to ask me to beat it for you!” he stated, grinning at his twin.

Jetfire growled and tackled his brother. Jetfire yelped, and they rolled and tussled on the bed as they tried to pin each other. “I is not being the one who bought salt when we be needing sugar!” Jetfire barked, briefly rolling on top of his brother.

Jetstorm sputtered, heaving forward and managing to roll them both over. “That is not being my fault! Someone else be putting salt with the sugar, and the bags be looking the same!” he protested. He managed to pin Jetfire, sitting on his brother’s stomach and smirking down at him. “And I am not the one who be spilling soup on Jazz!”

Jetfire hissed up at his brother, bucking underneath him....and sending them both crashing to the floor. Both twins froze, breaths stilling. They were supposed to be asleep. Sure enough, the door opened and Jazz peeked in, they could see Prowl glance though the open door behind him. The Praxian was once again dressed in a borrowed sleeping robe, and neither adult was wearing their visor.

“Really boys?” Jazz deadpanned. “It’s 11:00. Go to sleep. You have work tomorrow.”

The twins shot him identical grins, sheepish and embarrassed, and pulled each other up onto the bed. “Goodnight.” came two voices from the heap of blankets and younglings. Jazz felt himself soften. “Goodnight, boys.” he said warmly. To his surprise, he heard a soft voice behind him speak up. “Sleep well, little ones.” At their sleepy murmurs, he closed the door with a click.

In the bedroom, Jetstorm stared up at the ceiling. “I be liking Prowl.” he said softly. “I do not be wanting him to disappear again.”

At his side, he heard a sleepy grunt of agreement. “Me too. I be hoping we can make him to to stay.”

Jetstorm smiled. Yes, that was what they could do. If they showed Prowl that there was something for him here, maybe he would stay. “Goodnight, brother.”

A yawn. “Goodnight.”

(Outside the door, Jazz stood calmly under Prowl’s probing stare. He was grinning, lazy and pleased, and he knew what his old friend was thinking. Still, he wouldn’t say anything until the Praxian did. Yet, it seemed he wouldn’t, because he only huffed and shook his head, taking one more look at the twin’s door before turning towards the guest bedroom. As he left, Jazz’s grin softened and he glanced at the closed door. Yeah, the twins were growing on Prowl. He just hoped it stuck. He wasn’t ready to lose his friend a second time.)

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

In the guest bedroom, Jazz and Prowl both sat on the bed. Jazz had followed his old friend, wanting to have one last talk before he settled down to sleep in his own room. The two mechs sat in silence, Prowl staring out the window at the night sky. On the nightstand, Jazz saw a bundle of gold fabric. It took him a moment, but he remembered where he’d seen it. It was the sash that Yoketron had often worn. Well, that was as good a point as any

“....I know I can’t stop you from continuing your little mission.”

“No. You cannot.”

“Yeah. Figured.” Jazz sighed. “So I won’t. I ain’t sure I can help you either. I’ve looked over all the police information on the case, Prowl. You’ve told me what you know about it, and...well.” he sighed. “To be honest with you, the police don’t know all that much more than you do, mech.”

Prowl exhaled roughly. He’d known his friend had joined the force, and he couldn’t deny a part of him had been hoping for more information in the face of Jazz’s willingness to lend aid. “I suppose I should have expected as much.”

Jazz grimaced. “I’m sorry, Prowl.” He glanced at the old sash. “I know how close you and your Sire were.”

Prowl flinched, looking down at his lap. “Indeed.” he said, voice tight.

“Made me jealous, you know.” Jazz mused. “Seein’ how much ol’ Yoketron would dote on you...sometimes I wished my own Sire and Carrier would be like that. I was more an heir to them than a son, I suppose.” he mused.

Prowl winced. “I...I may have been my Sire’s heir, but...I do not think he would have been angry had I chosen a different path. If things....if things were different.” he admitted, voice quiet and pained.

Jazz smiled sadly. “Y’know, I think you’re right. You were his son first, and his heir second. That’s what made me so jealous.” he chuckled. Then he sighed, leaning back on his hands.

“I got over it right quick though.” he mused.

Prowl looked up, surprised. “You...did?”

“Yep.” he grinned at his friend. “How could I stay jealous when I learned why he cherished you the way he did?”

“What do you mean?” Prowl blinked, now just very confused.

“I learned how easy it is to love you.” Jazz confessed. He pushed himself closer to his friend, gaze fond and adoring.

Prowl stiffened, inhaling sharply. Jazz knew he was remembering their first kiss in the dojo gardens, shared over a handful of gifted flowers and hidden behind leafy bushes. He knew he was remembering the many quick, stolen kisses that followed. Kisses to lips, to cheeks, to foreheads and noses and jaws. They never took it further, then. They were too young, too shy and only just learning of their own intimacies, not yet ready to share that with another.

“Jazz...” Prowl whispered. “I’m not sure...” he trailed off.

Jazz smiled. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea either.” He admitted. “But that don’t mean I’m not willing to try. I think it’s worth it, Prowl. I think you’re worth it.” For a second, he held his breath. Hoping, praying that he didn’t just screw this up forever and that he wasn’t about to lose Prowl again.

Then his friend swallowed, and ducked his head. “I think you’re worth it too.” he whispered. “I want to, Jazz, but there’s so much that could go wrong.”

Jazz paused. “I know.” he said seriously. “What you’re doing is dangerous.” He said.

Prowl let out a shuddering breath. “Then how...?”

“We take it one day at a time, my mech.” Jazz said, leaning in and meeting Prowl’s uncertain gaze.

“One day at a time.” Prowl whispered. “That sounds...reasonable.”

“Good.” Jazz grinned. “I’m gonna kiss you now, Prowl.”

The Praxian let out a breathless laugh. “Then do it.”

And he did.

(That night, two aching souls reconnected. It was a fragile bond, riddled with cracks and insecurities. That sparks that fueled it both burned bright for each other, it was only the uncertainties of the lives the two mechs led that kept the two sparks from fully reaching for one another. That night, two bots relearned their love for each other in a series of kisses, long and soft and sweet. There was passion, but not of the fiery kind, for tonight was not about that. Kisses and whispered words of affection and apology and assurance were exchanged, and slowly, festering cracks began to heal. That night, Jazz and Prowl remembered why they had fallen for each other in the first place, and they fell only further as they exchanged truths and promises from their very sparks. They could not be sure of what was to come, but they could know they would have each other’s strength to borrow whenever they had need of it. That night, Jazz regained a lost love he had only ever hoped for.)

(That night, Prowl began to heal.)

✧

The song for this one represents the relationship between Jazz and Prowl, but also the familial bond building between Prowl and the twins. It’s “Love Can Build a Bridge” by The Judds. Thought it’d be fitting for the relationships and character journeys in this little family unit.

[thefanficmonster]

Begone

Streamer Gang & Asexual Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Acephobia, Swearing

Genre: Platonic Fluff, Comfort, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having recently come out as asexual, Y/N faces some less than pleasant or appropriate responses in their chat during their stream with the gang. Luckily, they’re not alone in battling the haters this time.

Requested by the lovely Anon who told acephobes to begone, yeah you know who you are hehe. Thank you so much for the request darling! Let’s show these acehobes who they’re messing with! Love, Vy ❤

Boy is this nerve-wrecking or what? Sure, I maybe woke up with a ton of confidence, I listened to motivational and uplifting talks and listened to mood boosting music. I had a healthy breakfast and a cup of coffee. Damn it, I went on a run, all in an attempt to convince myself that dealing with the online world again is but a piece of cake for a badass like me. Well, low and behold, that feeling didn’t last very long. Here I am, chewing my nails off at the though of hopping in the Discord call and Among Us lobby with my friends and starting my stream. It’s not like I’m not expecting my friends and fans to support me - of course I am! I know they’re gonna give me a ton of love and appreciation and support and uplift me no matter what. But then again, there’s still those people who believe me and other people like me to be invalid and broken and whatnot.

Those are the ones I wanna avoid. 

It’s not like their words mean much to me but I simply don’t wanna see em, you know? It’s not only about me - it’s least about me actually - it’s more about all those wonderful people they are insulting when they say shit like that about asexuals and all the people on the ace spectrum. I can’t help but flare up and get angry on the behalf of all my ace friends and even people I’ve never met.

It’s also my first time being directly thrown into the fire instead of getting caught in the crossfire seeing as how I came out to my fandom via a tweet and an Instagram post a week ago, telling my identity’s truth: finally bringing my asexuality to the surface to shine its brightest so I can be be my best and reach for my full potential.

But damn am I afraid to see how everyone took it. 

My friends were quick to jump in and take me offline before I start refreshing my own posts to see the comments under them. Lord knows that without them I would’ve driven myself insane, I’ll forever be grateful for what they did and the lengths they went to to keep me offline and whatnot. One word to give you an idea of how invested they were in this: origami. All of us might as well have been born with two left hands and yet we still tried doing origami. Freaking origami.

Damn do I love my friends.

But now I don’t have sheets of paper and my friends to distract me. I have a fanbase to entertain and another friend group I haven’t talked to in a while. I don’t wanna get any predictions in already so I don’t jinx myself, so I’m just gonna say it’s gonna be...interesting regardless of what happens.

Then again, when is it not interesting when the streamer gang’s involved.

Deep breaths, Y/N. You got this

Listening to that encouraging little voice inside my head, I finally equip my headphones and in one fluid motion turn my camera on, officially starting my stream and unmuting my mic as I hop in the call with everyone.

“Hi guys! Guess who’s returned!“ I exclaim cheerfully, desperate to hide the nervousness of my voice.

“You really missed your opportunity to say ‘guess who’s back...back again’ didn’t you?“ Charlie is the one who greets me first, sounding rather disappointed in me in his usual jokester manner. It’s nice to hear, it makes me feel like nothing’s changed in the week I’ve been gone. Like I’m still the same person to these people. I really am the same, I just now am a lot better version of myself. Almost as though I’ve reached my final form. It feels empowering really. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Charlie laughs again, “Congrats, by the way. You keep proving you can get cooler and cooler.“

“Careful there Charlie, I can only handle so large of an ego.“ I joke back, rolling my eyes playfully as a wide grin spreads across my face, “No, but seriously, thank you so much, man. It means the world to me that you support me.“

“Um, how could we NOT?“ That’s very clearly Rae, “Hun, you are so brave and amazing and wonderful, how could we ever NOT support you?“

“Yeah, we’ll always support you no matter what, Y/N. We’ll always be your friends, through thick, thin and beyond.“ Poki too interferes, her words only making my smile wider.

“Alright, alright, y’all are gonna make me cry and I haven’t even read my chat yet, hold on.“ I say, fanning my face to dry the tears I hope the webcam isn’t spotting, “Darn, you guys are the best. Sorry, give me a sec to gather my composure, I’ll be right back.“

I quickly mute my in-game mic as I turn to my chat where I see the same amount of love and support in the form of comments and emojis flooding in from my viewers. A warm feeling spreads throughout my chest, making me feel the most comfortable with myself I’ve ever felt. The most loved I’ve ever felt. The most seen and understood. To finally be you feels like you are finally really living in this world, not like you’ve been already living in it for God knows how long. It makes me so freaking happy and fulfilled to finally be living as me, as the real me.

Unfortunately, in life, nothing can be 100% pure and good. There’s always at least 1% there threatening to ruin all your happiness you worked so hard to build or obtain. It may be one in a hundred, but fuck it’s powerful and effective.

And in my case it comes in the form of two comments that stick out to my eyes. Acephobic comments saying my identity’s fake, claiming I’m faking it, saying us acephobes are immature creatures who refuse to grow up, or attention whores. Or just saying we’re delusional and in denial, confused about who we are.

I hadn’t even realized I was clenching my jaw and fists but when I do, I slowly relax my muscles and crack my knuckles before addressing the two people who spat out that nonsense.

“Ok, listen here, shooterpro69 and yourmom_lol. For starters, I want to apologize for your ignorance and lack of education on the matter of asexuality. In fact, for you especially, I plan on making an educational video, explaining asexuality to people who need or want to learn more. You, my friends, are in desperate need to be fed some knowledge cause damn, God knows how many people secretly think you’re hella stupid. Not that they’re wrong to think so but anyway. Unless you have anything nice or positive to say, begone from my chat. Actually, when I think about it, begone from every chat. No one needs you polluting their communities with acephobia and hate.“ I say, all spoken in a calm tone despite the boiling anger within me. People who know me well would probably be able to tell I’m fuming underneath the calm façade, but at least I got my message across loud and clear.

“WOO HOO, You tell em Y/N!“ Toast cheers, clapping his hands and whistling as more cheering arises from each my friends, leaving me in a state of mild shock and confusion.

Wait, what?!

“Um, wait, you guys heard that?“ I ask, my eyes darting to thein-game mic symbol that shows an not crossed-off mic, meaning it was enabled during the entirety of my speech.

“Hell yeah we did! You slayed them, Y/N! Damn goddamn!“ Rae whistles too, her enthusiasm wafting over me like a breath of fresh air.

“I second that!“ Corpse joins in, “And remember what we said - we’ll support you through anything. Need to bury an acephobe’s body, we’re the people you should call.” He says, confident as heck.

And I just can’t hold it in anymore - I burst out laughing, doubling over from the intensity.

If I thought I was happy and fulfilled before, this has to be the closest to paradise I’m gonna get on Earth.  All thanks to these wonderful people. Friends are really something else aren’t they: they come into your life - often unexpectedly - and change it completely. Suddenly you’re not alone, you’re not forced to deal with everything and face everything on your own. Someone’s got your back and you’ve got theirs.

Through thick, thin and beyond.

And it’s so fucking amazing.

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[elysiashelby]

In Another World - T.Shelby Imagine Ch. 25

Paring: (Eventual) Thomas Shelby x Aliena Welsh (OC)

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Word Count: 18,006

WARNINGS: Angst, Cursing, Fluff, Continuous First Person to Third Person POV Shifts, ONE! Tom Third Person POV, Self-harm, Alcohol, SMUT! (NSFW): oral sex (female receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex

Summary: It’s March of 1922, Ali’s nearing the end of her stay with the Shelby’s. After years of waiting, she’s finally ready to move on, but will fate let her. 

MASTERLIST  CHAPTER 24.2  CHAPTER 26

A/N: This chapter contains some POV switches as will the next chapter! Y’all know the deal. Black line breaks are there as a warning for the self harm scene. Only 1 ‘n it’s small! 

Smut is finally here! I haven’t written a SMUT scene in forever, so I fear I’m a little out of touch. 

It’s March of 1922 and things are going great! Well, not really, I had a mental breakdown so... I mean, not as bad as my last one, which was like a year ago. But, I was coming to terms with the fact that I killed someone! Someone who I did not have a paid hit on, but I murdered out of pure hatred. 

So, I had to do some inner reflection on that, and it would have gone a lot smoother if I had chosen to stop doin’ my side job. But I didn’t. I kept on with my “assassinating.” 

So was I really healed? Probably not, but hey! I don’t think about it anymore. I did it, I got away with— let’s move on. The guy was a douche anyway. Probably did society a favor. 

Yeah…

Right now I was cleaning up at Cassie’s flat. The gang was coming over soon, and I had to get the blood of a client off of me. The job was easier than most. I infiltrated another big party, seduced the target, and shot them in the chest and in the head. It’s a rule of thumb I have that I took from Zombieland. I got some blowback on me, so that’s why I’m taking a shower.

I’m not in the best of spirits tonight. Why, you may ask? Well, it’s because Michael and Arthur were to be arrested tonight. The only reason I knew was because Moss tipped me off. He caught me while I was visiting his wife. He took me aside and told me that Campbell had reason to arrest Michael, and he told me when it was going to take place.

The only reason why he was letting me know was because Campbell had his own plans for me. He didn’t know if Campbell wanted me arrested, but if I was on the scene— I was to be taken in. 

Let me tell you, I was so fucking proud of myself for befriending Moss’s wife! The single best thing I ever did. I mean, I knew I would be “bailed out” in no time thanks to all my rich mates, but Michael would still be in the clink. I think. I could ask around for some connections, if I needed to or was asked.

But, yeah. Michael and Arthur were being arrested tonight while I was at Cassie’s. Of course I felt guilty that I couldn’t prevent it, but it’s not like I could in the first place. That would mess with the timeline too much. 

Eventually, I got out of the shower, dried off, and put on my underwear. I’ve been trying to get more comfortable with my breasts, so I haven’t been wearing my bra to bed. In nothing but my towels and underwear, I walked out into the room.

“So,” I began while walking over to the bed, where I had my clothes laid out. “What’s on tonight’s agenda? Some heavy flirting? A therapy session? Or some good old fashion gambling?”

Cassie giggled, a pillow in her grasp as she threw open her arms. “All of it, babes!”

I chuckled. “That’s what I like to hear.” I dropped my towel and put on my dress. It was a velvet robe-like dress. Very flowy and comfortable, though it had a deep v-neck. Again, trying to get comfortable with my tits. Luckily, this process has been going on for a while and Dougie and Horace are now used to seeing a bit of my cleavage.

The pair do not regard me as anything more than a mate. Dougie is like my male twin flame while Cassie’s my female twin flame. They just match my vibe so fucking well! While Horace...well, he only has eyes for Angie. We bond pretty well academically, though. He answers a lot of questions I have pertaining some of the hypotheticals I conjure while writing.

After I put on my dress, I lotioned up my legs and arms before moving on to caring for my hair. I was brushing it out when the gang came in.

Dougie came up to me and kissed my temple before heading toward the table with the rest of the group. I hurriedly scrunched up my hair as I desperately wanted to join the conversation in fear of being left out. 

I threw my hair towel aside and quickly shuffled to the table. Cassie saw me coming and got up from her seat.

While beckoning me to her, she said. “Ali, c’mere.” 

I sat in her chair and once I was settled down, she sat on my lap. I sighed before asking, “So, what are we playing first?”

Cassie was sitting on my lap sidesaddle. She reached over on the table to the carton of ciggies that someone had thrown, tapped it on the bottom before pulling two out. 

With a ciggie hanging from her mouth, Angie replied while shuffling the cards. “We decided on Go Fish. Your favorite.” She winked at me and I returned it.

I giggled before accepting the ciggie Cassie held for me. She rested hers on her lip and just as she went to lit it— Dougie leaned over to us.

“Here, just use mine.” He said while pressing the end his ciggie to hers. 

Muffled, Cassie replied. “Thanks.” She looked back to me, took my face in her hands, and connected the ends of our ciggies. Basically, repeating what she’d just done with Dougie.

I swear to God, this group is so sus. And I think I’m partially at fault for how close and open the group is. I’m sorry, okay, I’m a physical person and I cut through the bullshit with the people I hold dear!

Angie dealt the cards, and I slid them closer to my face. I was exhaling when Cassie decided to start the conversation flow again.

She asked. “So Tina, how’s your married man? What was his name again?”

Tina tsked, a scowl on her face. “Darren, his name’s Darren. And, he’s fine...”

I raised an eyebrow. “Just fine? Who the hell’s starting?”

Angie cleared her throat. “I dealt so Douglas goes. Cassie’s sitting in your lap, so either you or her is next and vise versa. Then, Tina goes and finally Horace before me.”

I nodded as a quiet “oh” escaped my mouth. I looked back over at Tina.

Tina replied. “Yes, just fine.”

“So, has he filed for a divorce from his wife? Any sevens?” Dougie asked.

Horace and Angie gave him their cards.

Tina pouted, her arms crossing defensively. “He—! He’s been avoiding the question.”

All of us shared a glance and some of us hummed.

Dougie asked. “Any fives?”

“You know, statistically and due to England’s current standpoint on divorce— Darren is less likely to actually ask his wife for a divorce. There is an even lesser probability that the divorce would even be granted in a court of law—” 

The four of us girls shouted. “Go fish!”

“--because we’re obsessed with this “Christian purity.” And, his wife would have to be the adulterer. And as it stands right now only he has—!” Horace was spewing before he was cut off. His face contorting in pain before hunching over. 

Collectively, we all glanced at Tina, who was not holding up well. 

This was not going good, and the urge to tell her that I told her so, was not helping. She should just dump him, but eh, who was I to judge? 

I cleared my throat before holding my ciggie away from my lips, and asking through an exhale, “Anyone got any Queens?”

Cassie didn’t hesitate to give me two. I took the two I had in my hands and laid the four cards on the table. 

“Anyone got any nines?”

Angie threw one of her cards to me. Cassie passed it to me before looking over to Tina.

She said. “Well, Tina. Whatever you decide to do, we’ll support you. If ya want to stay with him, or leave him. We’ll be right here for ya.” 

All of us tried comforting her ‘n all we managed to get was a small smile in return. It didn’t reach her eyes, I knew that. However, I really wanted to have a good time so I was looking to change the subject. 

‘Just—! Anyone please talk about anything else!’

As I inhaled, I asked. “Any threes?”

“Go fish!”

I tsked.

I was laying down on the floor with Horace. Our arms were extended up in the air and we laid opposite to each other, if that made sense. Like basically, our heads were right next to each other. 

Our arms were in the air because I was playing with Horace’s fingers. Angie, Tina, Cassie, and Dougie were either sitting on the sofas/couches, or somewhere else in the room. He was a little drunk and wanted to calm down, so I offered to stay with him.

“So, how are things going with Angie, buddy?” I asked while still playing with his fingers.

He sighed and then chuckled. “Better. I think she… I think she’s beginning to like me back.”

I hummed and chuckled under my breath. “Well, don’t get too cocky there. She’ll knock back down a peg or two if she finds out that you’re feeling like that.”

Horace scoffed. “Don’t I know it. Hey! The only way she’d find out is if you tell her!”

My eyes widened and I spluttered rolling over to my sides. When I calmed down, I repositioned myself and grabbed hold of his fingers again. I sighed. “Well, that’s true but I promise I’ve never told her a thing.”

That’s a blag, I’m almost certain. It probably slipped from my tongue from time to time. 

I was running my fingertips over his short-cut fingernails while blowing raspberries. I took a deep breath before asking, “Well, you guys went on that date like last week, right? Angie’s told us some things, but how’d it go from your perspective?”

He blew raspberries before replying, “I think it went rather well. I mean she actually paid attention to me this time.”

I couldn’t help but snicker. “Oh my god, Horace!”

“It’s true! This time I felt like she was actually like looking at me. I don’t know. She’s hard to read sometimes, but it’s endearing, really.”

“So, you’re saying that you like the mysterious side to her?”

“Yeah. Yeah, in a way, I am.”

“So, if you discover all there is to her, do you think you will lose interest in her?”

Horace and I grew quiet. His arms flopped down to his side which I repeated. I rolled over to my side, an arm supporting my head as my other hand scratched away at the rug.

Horace mimicked how I was laying, so that we were facing each other, and he sighed through his nose. “I don’t think I’ll ever know everything about her. People typically evolve over time as do their curiosities and interests. So, I don’t think you nor I nor Angie will ever fully know one another. However, to answer your question, no, I don’t think I would lose interest in her even if I knew everything about her. I—! I’ve been in love with her since I was a child, so it would be pretty odd if I were to just lose interest once we were together. I mean, then why the hell did I waste all these years pinning after her. You know?”

I hummed and nodded. “I feel that.” I continued picking at the rug. “Hey, Horace?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, um. Basically, you know what, nevermind, it’s dumb.”

“No, come on. Ask me.”

“No—”

“Just ask me.”

I sighed and looked down. “Well, I wanted to ask you since you’re a guy ‘n all. Um, why doesn’t Tommy like me?”

Horace’s tongue swiped over his bottom lip as he jerked his body around a little. Basically, shaking on his side like a mermaid out of water would, but not as violent. “Now, Aliena. Do you want an honest answer, or do you just want one that will solidify the ideas you already have in your head?”

I chuckled, a small smile spreading across my face before I shouted. “Both!”

Horace rolled over to his back and I inched closer to him. I hovered above him as he spoke. “Okay, then. The honest answer is, well, why does anyone not reciprocate a person’s love? It could simply be because you’re not the person’s type, or there could be any other extenuating circumstance. Why—? Why does Angie not acknowledge my love when I’m obviously ready to give her my all? She just has her reasons. Now, I’m not her nor am I your Tommy, so I can’t speak for him. I don’t know why he won’t look your way. Only he could truly tell you.”

I blinked, my mood souring. I took a deep breath and reached up to fiddle with the collar of his white dress shirt. “And the answer that would solidify my thoughts?” I whispered.

We stared into each other’s eyes as he replied. “You met him too early in life. You met him too early in life, and now all he can see is that 16 year old girl. Not to mention the 12 year age gap! I mean it would probably be nothing, if the both of you had met now, as you are 20 and he’s 32, but you met when you were 16 and 28. I—! Don’t get me wrong a lot of men would have gotten with you being 28 and you being 16. So, regretfully, I have to applaud the man.”

I rolled my eyes.

“It’s the truth, Ali. Men are—! Men aren’t the best. I’ve learned more than enough of the struggle women go through because of men from Angie, believe me!”

“Oh, I believe you!”

We chuckled before falling to a silence. 

Horace continued. “There’s also your personality!”

My jaw dropped and my face contorted. I smacked his chest as I gasped. “What’s wrong with my personality!”

He raised his arms and tried defending himself from my attacks. A big ol’ smile on his face. “Ali, you’re very affectionate! Do you know that? God, I’d have believed that Cassie would have fought with you if she didn’t know about Tommy. It’s honestly rather settling to know that you actually have your heart set on someone ‘cause you’d have fooled the rest of us!”

I pouted. Still fiddling with his collar, I asked in a childish voice. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, you flirt with everyone in the group. You know that, right? You sit on Douglas’s lap. You sit on my lap! You sit on Angie’s! You kiss us on the cheek. Dougie kisses your cheek or temple. Then, there’s your unique fashion sense. I’m not judging your choice to display what God gave you. Angie would kill me if I did! But, you can even ask Douglas, we—! Well, I! Don’t regard you all that innocent, anymore. If you get what I mean, I—!”

I waved my hands as a way to stop him from tripping himself over his words even more. “I, I know what you’re trying to say. I get it all the time. Your point is?”

Horace took a deep breath before rubbing his forehead and letting his hand rest there. “Well, don’t you think that a person will just either get used to the affection or eventually grow annoyed by it?”

I’m regretting talking to him entirely.

“I don’t act like that with him, Horace. He’s still my boss, you know. I—! I could never!”

His eyes widened. “O-Oh! Then, disregard that last statement. Uh...”

I mean, but I have thought about that. I debated whether or not my compassion and love for the man was being taken for granted. Well, that he was manipulating me into like placating his feelings. I’m more used to that treatment coming from girls. You know, they act like they’re sad just so that I can comfort them— that sort of thing! I don’t deny that it’s crossed my mind.

Horace cleared his throat. “Well, then, perhaps he’s the sort of man that can’t handle you. You’re very independent and upbeat. I mean you can be serious when the moment calls for it, but you’re quick to giggle. Maybe he just wants a damsel in distress. Maybe he wants a more serious, proud woman. Proud being opposite to your “down to earthness.” Is what I’m trying to say.”

I snickered. “Uh… Right, okay? That was a whole lot in a small package. Um, right, okay then! Well, thank you for giving me your most honest answers, sir.”

He nodded. “You’re welcome, madam.”

I snickered away while cringing and then stuck my tongue out at him. Eventually, we got up from the floor and rejoined the group. We chatted away while sipping our bevvies, and nursed our cigarettes before finding ourselves seated on the couches. 

Tina and Cassie were sitting on the couch opposite to Dougie and I. I was sitting rather close to him with my legs draped over his thighs. His right hand rested on my thigh while I ran my fingers through the back of his hair. 

Ah! I see what Horace was talking about. Yeah, all those Tik toks ‘n shit are coming back to me. Maybe I should ask Cassie how she feels about my touchiness? Oh, I definitely should. Great! Fucking dammit! Why did my love language have to be physical touch? 

He was telling me about his week when Angie’s voice was growing increasingly more loud by the second. She was pacing back ‘n forth in front of Horace, who was sitting on the arm of the couch.

Angie groaned exaggeratedly before snapping her fingers and shouting, “Ali, Ali! What about your opinion, eh? How do you feel living in these times while looking the way you do? Acting the way you do?”

I furrowed my eyebrows and glanced at both Cassie and Dougie. They both gave me shrugs. I sighed before pushing some of my hair away from my face. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

With a drink in her right hand and waving about her left, she said. “Well, I mean you don’t conform to beauty standards. Right? Your hair is still very long, you typically wear what you want to wear. You enhance your curves and you know, embrace the waves in your hair. I mean that’s almost the total opposite of the way women dress today.”

I get that I was out of tune with the modern style, but she was making it sound like I was trying to be some sort of trendsetter.

I giggled and waved a hand and dismissed her comment. “I don’t know what to say. I wear what I want to wear. I—!”

“Exactly! Exactly. You wear what you want to wear. And, and you scrap with men. You fight your own battles. I mean—!”

I scoffed, shaking my head. “Angie, Angie, wait a minute. I—! Look, we live one life. I intend on living it how I want. That’s all.”

She nodded. “I know! Exactly and that’s what I love about you. You don’t give a damn about what anyone else thinks. You live your life the way you want, and I don’t know... Well, like tell us—! No, tell me how you do all this without worrying about snagging a man.”

Ah! And the other shoe drops. 

I sighed and rubbed my left eye. “Ah, okay. There we go, something I can answer. First and foremost, I dress and act however I want regardless of how a man sees me. How he chooses to warp me in his head, in anyone one’s head, is their problem. I will talk, dress, act, laugh anyway I want because at the end of the day— I have to live with myself and love myself. That’s how I go about my business.”

She began clapping and nodding, her lips pursed. 

Oh god, she was tipsy.

Angie snapped her fingers. “Exactly. And! And the beauty standards men put on us and other women expect each other to uphold is ridiculous. Like how the hell is one figure more attractive than another. Women are—! Women, men, everybody should be appreciated. Why, Why do we have to favor one type more over the other? I-I mean, I understand preferences but to subject people to a set criteria when some of us aren’t even capable of accomplishing that standard. It’s—! It’s preposterous.”

Angie raised her free hand to her forehead and she scratched it. “Take Aliena and Cassie for example, they can’t become more flat-chested. They can’t make them smaller. Nor, nor can they help their curvy figures! Why should society tell them to, you know, bind their breasts or something. Or to hide their figures in loose fitted clothing! They’re beautiful! Beautiful!”

All of us shared a glance at one another before bursting with laughter. We laughed so much that I’m sure all of our stomachs ached in pain. 

Through her laughter, Cassied rasped. “Angie, Angie sit the fuck down ‘n take a breather, hon’! For the love of...”

I chimed in. “Yes, please sit down before you blow a casket ‘n like faint or some shit.”

Angie pouted through a smile and plopped down on the couch. “I’m just saying. I mean Aliena, you exercise, right? Like, you work out in a way that a man does. Not just take strolls or ride bikes.”

I wiped under my eyes before nodding ‘n sniffling. “Yeah, I do. I exercise for myself. I don’t do it to please society or any man. I do it for me.” I shrugged my shoulders and turned my attention back to Dougie’s hair.

Angie snapped her fingers and pointed at me. “Thank you. I love you. Thank you. And that’s why I want to tear down Hollywood.”

“Ah—!” I snickered and shook my head before blowing her a kiss.

After that fiasco, things called down a bit ‘n I went back to talking to Dougie. He was tapping my thigh when he quickly picked up his head and said, “You know I finished developing the photos.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “The photos…? Oh, shit! The photos! How’d they come out?”

Some weeks ago, Dougie bought this camera and wanted to practice his photography skills. He loved the art, but it could never be his main job, for obvious reasons. His father was passing on the company to him, so we all know how that goes. Anyway, I made the suggestion that the gang could be like his practice models ‘n eventually I got everyone to agree.

It was fun, obviously! I helped position everyone and of course, I had to sneak in some 21st century gestures. I just hated that I wouldn’t be alive to see my grandbabies’ faces. I’ll break the timeline, just for this reason. To fuck with my descendents. 

During the day, we went to an empty grassland area and had like a cottagecore photoshoot. It was fucking fantastic! One thing from my bucket list I was lucky to complete. But at night, it was a more risque photoshoot. And yes, even Horace participated in it. I made him as did Angie.

Dougie smiled and nodded. “I think they came out to be pretty good. I’ll bring them next time. It just slipped my mind today.”

I psh-ed him and shoved his head away from me before throwing my head back in a cackle. We talked a bit more before I beckoned somewhere else. I eventually made it back to Cassie, and I was sitting on the couch while she was on the floor. I was messing around with her hair. Right now, I was making a bunch of braids. 

Cassie was eating some fruit while she was talking to Angie. “Okay, but like who was your first kiss?”

Angie hummed through hooded eyes with an arm hanging in the air. “Oh, it was Tina.”

I spluttered and began spazzing out. I scurried off the couch and started running around the room while shouting over and over again. “No way! No way! No fucking way!”

Cassie joined my freak out session by rolling around on the floor and slapping the couch behind her, where I was previously sitting. When I felt calm enough, I ran back to my spot.

I shouted. “No fucking way!”

Angie chortled. “What? Why is it such a big deal?”

“Uh...” Cassie and I just looked at each other. In an American accent, I said. “Well, I mean. I don’t wanna be a bitch, but like when I felt met y’all… You guys were kinda sus. Like Tina, full truth, I thought you had a humongous crush on Angie ‘n yeah so, um, yeah. Did y’all date or…?”

Angie’s eyes widened and she rose from Tina’s lap, who was stunned, by the way. Angie snatched a pillow from the couch and chucked it at me. 

“She’s. Just. Shy. And we were kids when we just did it! It was innocent.” Angie yelled. 

I cried out when the pillow hit me. Through my laughter, I replied. “I’m sorry!”

Angie huffed as she laid back down on Tina’s lap. “Yeah, yeah. You’re not the only one to think it. People just get the wrong idea. She’s just shy.” Angie reached up and caressed Tina’s face. “Oh, we’ve both kissed Horace, too.”

My jaw dropped and a hand flew over my mouth. I looked at Cassie and Dougie, who were just as shocked as me. I screamed into my hand and began running around the room again, only this time I wasn’t alone. Dougie was running in the opposite direction of me. 

He zipped over to Horace while I tackled Cassie on the couch. Well, I more like got her in a headlock ‘n swung her around a bit as I settled onto the couch. 

Tina groaned, averting her gaze from us before running a hand through her hair. She asked. “Well, who were your guys’s first kiss?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Ugh, I guess my first kiss was with my childhood best friend too. Name was Brooklyn.”

“Mine was with Mary, she was a classmate.” Cassie replied.

Angie tsked. “See a girl, right? Why are you harping on us for?”

Cassie and I just shrugged. It was like we had this silent agreement that we weren’t gonna bring up the fact that we kissed each other on the lips as a greeting and a farewell.

“Hey, do you guys think I would look hotter with blonde hair?” I asked.

They all began telling me what they thought. 

Later in the night, we just went wild ‘n I was happy for it. Michael and Arthur didn’t cross my mind once. We blasted our records, danced the night away while chatting, drinking, and smoking away.

I was overwhelmed with emotions at the end of the night because—… Because I never thought I would have a friend group like this, and now that I did— it was surreal. I genuinely felt that I wouldn’t be in the mental state I was in, if they weren’t in my life.

They made everything that much better. I was always happy with Tommy, but that feeling was contorting into something else now. You know? It was becoming increasingly more platonic, and as much as that should feel liberating— it frightened me. 

I have a million reasons why I held out for him for this long and why it frightens me so, and I’m not going to dwell on them. To be honest, I think the moment he did reciprocate my feelings and he told me, I probably would numb myself immediately. I would just be in such a state of shock that I’d deny his feelings ‘n just move the fuck on. 

‘I mean that’s what is expected of me, right?’ 

Since I am the way that I am. I can’t just blame it on social media’s influence. I mean when I imagined the scenario I end up cringing a ton, and I send myself into like a “tic fit.” It’s the best I can describe it. 

Anyhow, back to how the night went! We got super drunk, super high, and probably pissed off Cassie’s neighbors but we settled down at like three or four in the morning. The people living downstairs were most likely the most grateful since we were jumping around like crazy people. 

We, collectively, all crawled onto Cassie’s bed ‘n knocked out. I was probably the first to sleep. I’m not going to tell ya a blag. It was completely plausible. But, what I loved most about tonight— it was that I was surrounded by people who loved me. It was warm and I felt safe. Something I wasn’t even able to feel in my own home at times when I was back in my own universe. 

Cassie was the big spoon while I was the little, and Dougie was her big spoon. I made sure to avoid being in the middle anymore. I talked to Cassie and she was fine with my touching. She said I showed her the same amount of attention, and she knew I didn’t fancy him— so we were good.

However, I didn’t want to interfere with a perfectly good moment. So, I chose to be on the outside while Cassie was in the middle. Yeah, that didn’t stop her from cuddling me instead. I was too intoxicated and tired to tell her to cuddle Dougie instead.

When I woke up, I found it to be fairly early in the morning because the sky was grey. There’s a difference to the 6 am sky and the 8 am sky, okay! I didn’t get up right away. I wanted to savor the tranquility that surrounded me for a little while longer. But like all sweet things, they must come to an end.

My guess is that I was probably stirring around too much by accident ‘n woke up Cassie, who inadvertently awoke Dougie. I tried coaxing her back to sleep, but it was too late for the both of them. Begrudgingly, I inched my way off the bed and strolled over to the table.  

Dougie was right behind me. I could hear his loud yawn from behind me, and then his hands gently fell on top of my head. My head bobbled as he kissed the top of my head. 

“Mornin’, Ali.”

I smiled and while my head did a little dance, I replied. “Morning, Dougie.”

He pulled out a chair for me before going to sit on his own. While gripping the arms of the chair, I scooted closer to the table. I craned my head back to see Cassie on the phone, no doubt ordering food. 

We really didn’t begin talking till the food came. I think we were just still sleepy, but food and orange juice helped. Horace was the first to get up ‘n he attacked the bacon. Then, it was Tina and finally, Angie. Who was very grumpy, by the way. So not happy about being awake.

I don’t know how it happened, but eventually we broke out into a food fight. It was awesome.

“Oi! Fucking watch it!” I exclaimed as I narrowly dodged a ketchup covered egg. I knew it was covered in ketchup ‘cause I saw Tina drown them in it. I grabbed a syrup-soaked waffle and chucked it at Dougie.

It got him right on the side of his face. He exclaimed and his face contorted in disgust. My mouth immediately contorted into deep frown ‘n my eyebrows raised, and when his crazed eyes found mine— I gasped. My gasp was so deep like a man’s that I hurt my throat doing it. 

I held my hands up as I croaked. “Wait.” He inched closer to me. “Wait! Wait!” I turned my back and started running. Something you should know about me, I never liked being chased. It gave me another type of anxiety and happiness— it was so weird. 

Eventually, Dougie caught me and we started wrestling with each other. Through our grunts, I heard the phone ring and Cassie hopped across the room to get to it. She landed on the bed and crawled to the phone. While sitting on her knees, she answered the phone.

I turned my attention back to Dougie and tried crawling away from him as he attacked my sides. It wasn’t my tickle spot, but I laughed at the pain of his fingers digging into my sides, nonetheless. 

“I’m sorry!” I yelled. “I’m sorry! I give, now cut it out.” 

Dougie loosened his hold and sat up on his knees, flipping his bangs to one side as he did so. I didn’t hesitate to get up on my feet. 

“Never!” He shouted. “You got syrup on my face.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. I playfully yelled as I charged at him ‘n I barely managed to get him into a headlock when Cassie shouted for me. She motioned the phone toward me, and my smile dropped as did my hold on Dougie.

I walked over to the phone and brought it to my ear. While taking some of the hair that fell into my mouth, I said. “Hello?”

“Aliena, love.” Polly sniffled before continuing, “Thank god you’re alright. Um, I need you to come home, darling.”

“Polly, you’re crying. What’s happened?” I’m only half-ashamed to admit that I was exaggerating my concern. Hard to actually experience when I already knew what was up.

“It’s Michael. He’s been arrested. You need to come home to the house in Small Heath. We’re gonna have a family meeting.”

“Is Tom there yet?”

Polly sniffled again before replying, “No, not yet. You still have time before it begins, so come quickly. Love you.”

“Love you too. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” I hung up the phone and looked back at my mates. They were all looking at me concernedly. I waved my finger around before finding the words. “I, uh… I need to go. Cassie, can you tell Simmons—!”

She nodded. “Of course.” Cass instantly grabbed the phone and began calling him. 

I glanced at my mates one more time before walking over to the closet. I put on this off-white frock with some black heels. I didn’t fix my hair up or put on any makeup. I just packed up my things, threw on my coat, and hurried out the door. I bade everyone farewell before leaving.

I ran out of the car and into the house. I threw my backpack on the couch before shouting, “Polly, I’m here!”

Faintly, I could hear Polly gasp and then we met each other halfway in the kitchen. She pulled me into a hug and squeezed the breath right out of me. 

“Thank god!” She said. “Thank god you’re okay.” Polly parted from our hug ‘n began stroking my hair and face. 

Footsteps coming from my right caught my attention, and I hugged Finn, John, and Esme as they came up to me. All us exchanging words about how we were all glad that one another was okay. John caught me up to date as Polly was fawning over me. 

She couldn’t stop stroking my hair and kissing my temple. I didn’t mind it, but everything she did was exemplified since I wasn’t used to this sort of treatment from her. Well, I was ‘n it always happened in some sad event in our lives, and that’s probably what’s upsetting me the most. 

I managed to get her to sit down, and smoked a ciggie with her. Tom sure took his time coming home. It took him, perhaps, twenty to thirty minutes later before he strided through the kitchen and into the shop. 

I stubbed my ciggie out, just as Tom said. “John?”

“Coppers have lifted 10 of our men in Camden town, the rest of them on the run.” He replied.

Finn added. “Tom, they've taken Michael.” 

Polly rose from her seat and walked closer to the family and I followed suit, taking the opposite door to lean on. 

Tom waved Finn off saying, “Business first.”

“They took Michael— ”

“I said business first.”

“They picked him up—!”

“Polly, business first!”

‘Great! Went from having an awesome time last night to an anxiety ridden morning. I love my life. Wow, way to make it about myself. I’m amazing!’

Tom gave Pol one last look before asking John to continue. Polly looked vulnerable. She looked, sorry to say, pitiful. She was desperate to help Michael, but— obviously, Tom had an agenda he was intending to follow.

John continued. “They took all our whisky. So no doubt they'll be supping that for Christmas. They've impounded all our vans, put their own locks on the warehouse. The Eden Club and all our pubs have been raided by the coppers and handed back to Sabini and Solomons. The Black Country boys think it was Arthur who killed Billy because that's what the coppers told them. So there'll be no more free passes for our whisky boats.”

“I don't give a fuck about whisky. I don't give a fuck about Billy Kitchen.” Polly said as she walked over to the table and began to lightly slam her hand down on it as she spoke, “I want my son out of prison now.”

Esme decided to speak up, at the wrong time. “Thomas, I spoke to Johnny Dogs.”

“This meeting should just be family.” Polly insisted.

‘Ah—! Ma’am, the fuck does that make me? Oh, wait, family! You, idiot, you.’

“I can help.”

“-It's family only, she's not blood.”

“Let her speak.” Tom interjected, but Polly kept on going.

“Tommy! Or is this a business… How you forgotten family—!”

“ENOUGH!”

My hand flew to my mouth and I swear to God, my heart sank to my arse. ‘Holy fuck is the wrong, but holy hell is it erotic!’

I was given the side eye by multiple people in the room, and I quickly numbed my feelings. Faster than I ever had to before. I stood up straight and cleared my throat.

Tom looked back at Polly as he said. “Enough, Polly. Esme.”

“I spoke to Johnny Dogs. The Lees are kin.”

“The bloody Lees!” Polly exclaimed

“They can give us men.”

“We don't need more fucking men! It's men that have done the damage! It's… It is men fighting like cockerels that have put us here in the first place.”

Tommy said. “Esme, I'll take up their offer. We need men.”

There was this pregnant silence that stilled between all of us, and it made me bounce on my heels. 

Polly pointedly stared at Tommy, inching closer to him as she said. “If Michael ever gets out of prison, I am taking him away from this family, for good.” She took a step back from Tom and waved her hands around her. “This life is bad.”

Polly walked over to Finn ‘n grabbed him by the arm. “This life is all bad.” She began dragging him away and made a beeline for me. Pol gripped my arm ‘n began pulling me away too.

“Ah!” I exclaimed as my feet skidded across the floor.

“Aunt Pol, what’re you doin’?” Finn cried out as we were both being tugged away.

“Shut up and walk.”

I managed to crane my head back for one last look at Tom before Pol had tugged Finn and I out of the house. Tommy didn’t meet my gaze. 

Polly ushered us in her car and drove us to the house in Sutton. She ordered us to stay in the house, but I knew where she was going. I saw her make a call, which went on for sometime, before she darted for the door. 

I think she was calling Ada.

I grabbed her arm as she turned to leave. “Polly, wait! Where are you going?”

She sighed before taking my face into her hands. “I’m going to go see if I can get my son out by myself. Thomas isn’t going to help, so I’m doing this on my own.” Polly stroked the side of my face as she looked into my eyes.

“Don’t go...” I whispered.

Pol sucked on her teeth before shaking her head. I gripped her wrists as they were still close to my face and said. “I can—! I can call someone. My mates can help. They’re Michael’s mates too, so I’m sure they won’t mind.”

She shook her head and gently tugged her hands away from my face. I let her wrists go without hesitation. With one hand on my shoulder, and the other waving around as she talked, she said. “No. No, I can’t have your friends knowing about this side of the family. They’re different from us ‘n they need to have the best image of you they can. I will deal with this on my own. I will deal with this on my own as I’ve always done.” 

Polly quickly kissed my forehead and left just as I was about to continue to beg her not to. I ran after her, but my reaction time was a little too late since she was already in the car. I shouted after her, but she took off.

I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t—! I couldn’t interfere when she didn’t want me to, so I just walked back into the house ‘n focused on taking care of Finn. We spent our time talking and playing card games. I finished making our lunch when Ada showed up. I knew she’d show up. ‘Cause of the episode, of course. 

She brought Karl, which made everything better ‘n brighter for a while.

I  spent time playing with the baby and catching up with Ada. Eventually, I left Ada alone with Finn since I’m sure she’d wanted to talk to him alone. I had the maid make dinner ‘n eventually sent Finn’s lanky butt up to a room. Had the maid prepare it for him beforehand.  Ada and I talked into the night till Karl grew tired. 

She took another room and retired for the night. On the other hand, I only went up stairs to change into something more comfortable, then I went back down to wait for Polly to come back home. I basically wore a nightgown and put my hair into a ponytail. 

I knew Polly was going to want to take a bath ‘n I wanted to be the one to help her. It was only right since she’d helped me when I needed it. 

I hated myself. I hated myself. I could’ve tried harder. I could’ve used better words to persuade her. I could’ve—!

Polly stumbled in at around eleven o’clock at night. I sprang up from the couch ‘n she didn’t even make a fuss about the fact I was up. Pol stumbled into my arms with the stench of alcohol on her breath. 

“Ali my love!” She slurred as she leaned all her body weight on me.

I muffled a groan as I held her up. 

Polly picked herself up a bit and slapped her hands on my face. I flinched at the force she put behind it. 

“Beautiful...” She whispered. “Absolutely beautiful...” Her thumbs roughly wiped the space under my eyes. Bringing them up and down and stretched back. 

“Polly,” I whispered. “What’s happened?”

Her head jerked back and she stumbled away from me. Averting my gaze, she replied. “Is done. Michael with—! Michael will be out within, at, in the morning.”

I smiled and clapped my hands in front of my mouth. “That’s great news, Polly!”

She smiled and nodded, drunkenly. Like she was nodding like a bobble head, someone who wasn’t in control of their motor functions. Polly’s gaze drifted to the side and she pointed to the tub. “Were you gonna take a bath?”

I shook my head. “Oh, no. I thought about it, but then I was waiting for you to come home. I had the fire lit. Why? Did you want to take a bath?”

Polly stumbled forward and gripped my arms, steadying herself before she nodded. “Yes. Yeah. Ali, darling, can you be so kind… And help me?”

I nodded, my eyebrows furrowing in concern. I ran to the kitchen and filled up the bucket for hot water. This house actually had a water heater ‘n that meant hot water from the tap. I had to make a few trips back ‘n forth but it was quicker than it would’ve been at the other house. 

“Alright, all done.” I turned back to Polly, who was sitting on the couch as she gazed into the fire. Her head shot up when I spoke. I turned around as a way to give her the privacy she needed to undress. 

I could sense her walking toward the tub and I turned my body more to the left while closing my eyes. Slowly, I got down to my knees ‘n sat on them. I wanted to give her the respect she deserved. The water sloshed as she dipped her body in the tub.

“Can you pass me the soap and sponge, love?” Polly asked me.

My eyes fluttered open instantly and I crawled to where I had placed the body soap and sponge earlier. I reached up for them and then crawled back over to her before giving them to her.

I sort of just sat there as she bathed herself. Her movements were sluggish and looked to be done with great difficulty. I knew it was wrong, but I wanted to pry. I wanted her to open up to me and just cry about it. I didn’t want her to keep it in. However, I knew that was wrong, so I just picked at the carpet below me. 

Eventually, I couldn’t stand doing nothing and I asked her if I could shampoo her hair. She gave me a sloth-like smile and gave me permission. I reached up for the shampoo, took off my sheer robe, and shuffled on my knees around the tub. 

Polly leaned forward to give me some room. I scooped up some of the water from the tub using the pitcher and poured it along her hairline, slowly making my way to the back of her scalp. 

Shampooing someone else’s hair was always something comforting to me. I did Cassie’s hair all the time as she did mine. It was a type of intimacy that was more innocent than others types. 

I began humming something from Billie Holiday. I didn’t know the song by heart, but I knew some of the words ‘n rhythm enough. I was rinsing her hair when Polly’s shoulders began to shake. Muffled sobs escaped her nose as she shakily took deep breaths. 

I didn’t know what to do or say. I didn’t know if it was appropriate to touch her and hug her, so I asked. I asked if it was alright if I hugged her. Like a child, she nodded through her sobs. 

I hugged Polly from behind. She was wet, I knew that. I was painfully aware of the new sensation of my dress sticking to my body and her cold hair against my cheek. Everything in my being was screaming and begging me to launch myself backward, away from her— but my heart was pleading for me to do the opposite. 

My heart wanted to absorb her pain, and it was my heart that won. I choked back my tears. I didn’t have the right to shed them. I could’ve saved her from this pain. I could’ve prevented this. But, ultimately when I blinked, they slipped down my cheeks. 

I didn’t pry, I stayed true to my word. We composed ourselves simultaneously and silently. 

“Love?” 

I wiped my nose on my arm before answering, “Yes?”

“Can you get me a cigarette? They’re in my purse.”

I nodded as I muttered. “Of course.” I rose to my feet and walked over to her purse, which was on the sofa. I put one in my mouth and lit it. With it still hanging off my lips, I took a quick puff as I grabbed the ashtray. I placed it on the stool that had the soaps on top, and then passed Polly her ciggie.

I walked back around to the chair that was behind her ‘n admired the fire crackling. Ada came in not too long after. I left… 

Truthfully, I didn’t know why I left. 

I trudged up the stairs all the way to my room. I closed the door behind me and slid down it.

I felt like a complete piece of shit and hollow and empty. My face scrunched up in a sob, but no tears came out. There was this increasingly more painful headache forcing me to acknowledge it, and with it came anger and annoyance. I wanted to punch the walls. I wanted to throw stuff around. I wanted to kill Campbell for what he’s done to this family.

I wanted his blood. I wanted to slit his throat. I wanted to bite a chunk of his neck out. I wanted…

I heaved a deep breath and found it still difficult to breathe. I crawled forward on all fours with one hand supporting my weight while the other clutched my throat. I took deep breaths till finally I couldn’t take it anymore. 

I had to release these emotions inside of me. The need to punish myself became overwhelming, and my eyes flickered to the suitcase that laid under my bed. 

I shook my head. ‘I couldn’t afford any marks’ I thought. 

With my other job, my body is a tool ‘n any harm to it hinders my ability to get it done. 

So, I yanked the straps of my gown down and let it fall under my waist. Ferociously, I began to claw away at my neck, arms, and stomach. The burn. The burn was what I needed. 

And when I stopped, the pain took over but as much as it meant everything— it was also nothing. 

Slowly, I brought the straps of my gown back up to my shoulders, rose to my feet, and sauntered over to my bed. I climbed in it and just laid there while staring at the lamp that was always on at my desk. I fell asleep, eventually…

The next morning, Polly came into my room ‘n asked if I wanted to come with her to go ‘n get Michael. I felt like she wanted me to go with her, so I said I’d go. While dressing up, I was glad to see that none of the scratches I’d made scarred up. 

I made sure to dress warmly since we would be going out so early in the morning and then we headed off to pick him up. We didn’t make any conversation during the drive or as we waited for him to come out. 

But nothing— and I mean nothing, could tear my eyes away from the scarf around her neck. 

I chose to lean against the wall as we waited while Polly was pacing back ‘n forth on the pavement. When Michael walked out, the first thing I noticed was the ugly bruise on his right cheek. Then, I noticed the little cuts all around his face. The need to comfort him was strong, but he walked straight toward his mother while smoking a ciggie.

“You need cream on them cuts or they'll go bad.” Polly said to ‘em.

Michael didn’t reply. He took a drag before saying, “The screws told me why I've been freed. They told me what you did.”

Polly looked away from Michael. Her gaze found mine, and she hurriedly looked away from me too. Polly stared straight on, instead. 

“They thought it was funny.” He continued. Michael took another puff before he said. “Maybe it is.”

The urge to degrade and make someone cry had never been activated so fast in me before now. I glared at Michael as he walked away. My blood boiled with each step he took.

With my foot, I launched myself away from the wall and walked to Polly’s side. I put a hand on her shoulder and whispered. “C’mon. Let’s go. He probably needs time is all.”

Polly said nothing, but allowed me to lead her over to the car.

Michael eventually had to come home, and he had the audacity to knock at my door. Of course, I let him in but only to give him a piece of my mind. 

“Do you even know what she did?” He shouted.

“She got you out, didn’t she? Why should you care how?” I shouted back.

“She fucked Campbell to get me out. She prostituted herself!”

I pretended to process it and be shocked before I continued. “And? So fucking what? Who are you to say that it was funny, huh? Fucking bastard! Fucking ungrateful prick!” 

I wanted to put my hands on him so badly, but I resorted to punching my palms repeatedly instead. As well as folding in on myself.

I whipped my hair back and ran a hand through my hair. 

“You’re tellin’ me you don’t see anything wrong with that? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Of course there’s something wrong with that! Campbell abused his position and abused his powers. He raped your mother!”

His face fell.

I scoffed. “Did you actually think I would side with you? Oh, fuck you, Michael. I would’ve done the same for me own son and so much more. She did that out of desperation ‘n fear ‘n pure maternal love! And—! And, you threw it back ‘n her face! I mean look at you, Michael. How much more of that could you have withstood?”

“All of it! I would have taken every beating… Every fucking—!” Michael choked up and rose his fists over his eyes. 

I averted my gaze. My tongue prodded the inside of my cheek as I violently shook my right leg. I tsked before rushing toward Michael and pulled him into a hug. Weakly, he hugged me back. 

Muffled, I said. “I’m not the one who has to forgive you for the things you said, but me and you are not alright right now. And I need you to respect the fact I need some time to process and get over what you said to her. It was very insensitive and I don’t play when it comes to situations like that. I don’t care about the excuse. You should have comforted her or each other when you were given the chance.” I parted from the hug and turned around. 

I didn’t turn back around till I heard my door shut from behind me.

About a week and a half has passed since Michael’s release and we’re still not on good terms. He hasn’t apologized to Polly for what he said, so obviously I wasn’t going to just sweep that shit under the rug. Little shit would have no idea how much restraint it took to not slap him across the face!

Of course I encourage him to “get it over with” and “clear the air.” But the stubborn twat was like his mum, and he refused to do so. It was like that conversation we had went in one ear and out the other. So, I’ve just steered clear of ‘em. Pissed me off just looking at him.

Anyway, John and I went to visit Arthur in jail. He was pretty rough, but when was Arthur not? We just visited him to see him. Tommy didn’t have a plan drawn up yet. Other than that, I’ve been busy with work. Legit and side hustle alike. 

Since the coppers fucked with the inventory, Tommy needed my help with the numbers and had me running around more often. At the same time, Dom gave me hit orders every other day. 

Some of the hit orders were during the day as well! I had to run off to get that job done, then hurry back to Small Heath. I’m just lucky nobody gets on my arse. Tommy could, no doubt there, but he was busy himself and I got the job done anyway. 

I knew he had some Peaky men or juniors watching me, for my “protection.” I knew they told him what I was doing, where I was going, but they never found out what I did. I had to let Dom know what was going on at home, and he helped me get away from them. 

Was it suspicious? Short answer, yes. 

Not like I could stop the side, though. The second season was coming to an end soon and what happens on Derby Day determines if I’m staying in this family or not. I, myself, don’t even know what to expect. 

I mean, it’s obvious he’s going to sleep with Grace and knock her up. What the fuck did I even want to happen? Did I want him to just confess to me and we get together instead? Well, of course, I want that to happen! But it’s not. And I can’t even see Tommy doing something as cringy as that. Yes, cringy.

The idea of him just springing on a confession on me still made me cringe up. My feelings have never been recuperated, so if they were to finally be mutual— there’s a good chance I wouldn’t have the romantic reaction I would be hoping for. Sad truth, but what could I do? Not like I had control over what my crushes felt. 

So, basically, if Grace is pregnant— I’ll quietly go away. I haven’t brought it up to Cassie yet, but I’m planning on slumming it with her. Just for a while, I know I have enough money to buy a house of my own. I would probably get Dom to do it for me, though, since I had no idea how to do it. 

If Tom tried to find me, then I’d just hide at Dom’s place. I’m sure he’d let me. On the topic of Tom, though— I missed him. Like talking to him, bugging him, and especially seeing his face. I was being deprived of my daily dose of serotonin. It was a crime!

Despite all that, today was a night of relaxation. I’d planned to go out with my mates, but since it’d be too dangerous to go South— they had to come to me. Ridiculous, I know but Tom insisted on the idea the last time I saw him. Even though I’d been going all around the fucking country for a week and a half.

We were in the snug at the Garrison. Smoking a few cigs while sipping on our bevvies. It was a girls’ night despite the fact that Finn was here. Let him have two pints, and that was it. He was still working on his first like a good lad. 

Angie spat. “I mean who the fuck does that bitch think she is? Just because her mum is a famous pianist doesn’t mean she is too! Dumb dora doesn’t know about key or pitch to save her life.”

I raised my eyebrows and slurped my bevvy. I smacked my mouth before asking. “Hey, Ange. How are you and Horace?”

Her movements faltered and a smile crept up on her face. I gasped and my hand shot over my mouth.

“Oh my god! Oh my god, are you two finally dating? Are youse dating?” My hand flew back to Cassie’s arm and I gripped it while shaking her. She was just as excited as I was.

Angie couldn’t meet my gaze to save her life. “I-! We… Yeah, we’re dating. I, I said yes.”

All of us girls squealed and congratulated her. Internally, I was congratulating my boy, Horace. My mans was pinning after Angie since childhood and he finally got the girl. 

Even material to make a story out of, oop! Mayhaps.

She told us how it happened. They had been in a fight since her father secretly set her up on a blind date and he’d caught them as she was out. Horace didn’t blow up on them at the spot, but Angie felt compelled to follow him out the restaurant they were dining in. On the street, he aggressively professed his love and told her he couldn’t bear to beat around the bush anymore. He gave her an ultimatum, and she was thrown off by how assertive he was being. It made her heart flutter, and she confessed she felt the same. 

Another round of squeals at the table, please! Poor Finn, he had to suffer through us. His own fault for volunteering to, like, chaperone me.

The topic changed to the ball Cassie had for her 21st birthday. This happened like a couple of Fridays ago since her birthday was on the tenth of February. It was really extravagant and the theme was like a royal ball. So, we got to dress up in these really amazing ball gowns. I wore this beautiful green ball gown that was most likely akin to 16th century fashion, as one man told me. 

I wouldn’t know the exact period my dress resembled since that wasn’t my area of expertise. Glad the man knew, though!

Cassie tapped me on my arm, her face contorted in confusion. “Ali… What did we do for your birthday?”

I blinked before smiling. “Oh, we didn’t do anything.”

Her face immediately contorted in horror and she looked at Angie and Tina, which of course made me do the same. They had the same expression on their faces.

Tina raised a finger and began wagging it as she said. “Wait a minute… Did we even do something for your birthday last year?”

“Uh...no.” My eyes kept flickering between the three of them and I watched as the horror deepened in their faces.

They began showering me in apologies, and while it did comfort me— it annoyed me at the same time. ‘Like it was too late for apologies since the days already passed. So, like why sweat it now?’

The girls surrounded Ali and showered her in apologies. Finn watched from the sidelines. He saw the flicker of discomfort on Ali’s face before she began to smile. 

He knew that his family had forgotten about her past two birthdays as well, and he wanted to get something for her. But the last time he did that— he got in trouble for it. So, the best he did was wish her happy birthday. 

“Okay! Okay! We obviously just have to throw the biggest party ever to make up for them both.” Cassie said, her lips pursing as she talked. Tina and Angie nodded, but Ali sighed. 

She shook her head while clutching her forehead. “No. No, it’s alright really. My birthday passed. I don’t need anything.”

The girls dismissed her wishes, which annoyed the crap out of Ali and Finn. 

Ali rubbed her eyes roughly before waving her hands up. “Okay, okay, fine! We can have a little something. It has to be little. I’m not allowed South, so—!”

Cassie cut her off. “That’s completely alright. We can do it here like last time. You know?” She looked around the room. Tina and Angie nodded in agreement. 

Ali thought about it and just succumbed to her mates’ wishes. Ali took a breath and thought about it in a different perspective. Instead of holding onto the fact her birthdays were overlooked, she was just appreciative that they, at least, wanted to celebrate it now.

They girls talked it out and they decided they would reconvene next Friday at the Garrison. Finn was welcomed to join, and the lad was not going to miss it for anything in the world because of what they were planning.

These girls were planning to get “fucked up.” More specifically, Aliena “fucked up.” He had some idea of what that meant, and he knew he wasn’t going to like it. 

Eventually, Finn ended up asking Aliena what that meant, and she told him that her mates basically wanted to get her really drunk. He knew he wouldn’t like it. 

That week Finn, Aliena, and the girls were all just really preparing for the “doomsday.” Aliena was pumped up to have fun with her girls in her honor, and couldn’t decide what she to wear. The girls were trying to find gifts for her birthdays, you know, since they missed two of ‘em. 

While Finn, he was going through it. He was debating so hard whether or not to tell Tom. He didn’t know if he should. He usually would have, but with things being so tense lately— he really didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news or add fuel to the fire. So, he decided against it and was just glad to be invited. He also looked for a gift.

The day of the party both Finn and Aliena visited Tommy’s office. Aliena went to give him his dinner at around 5:30. She had yet to get dressed for the night, but her hair was beautifully done in waves from the braids she made the night before. She had half of it up since if it was all down— her hair would be too poofy.

Aliena knocked on Tom’s door before entering. Tom was finishing up some last minute paperwork. He didn’t tell Aliena, but he was going to Ada’s house to meet up with Grace. She’d called some weeks ago, and Tom was finally available enough to meet her. 

She rested the basket on his desk and moved a piece of her hair away from her face. “Here you go, Tommy. Have a nice night.” 

Tom picked up his head and his eyebrows wanted to furrow as he took in her appearance. Her hair was done nicely and she was wearing a nice outfit. 

Ali had on a white tank top with a sheer white long-sleeved blouse over it and wore a ribbed off-white skirt that hugged her curves. She didn’t think anything of it, but Tom sure did. 

He wondered if she got dressed up for another boy of hers, but then he realized he had no business admiring her or getting jealous. After all, he’d be meeting up with Grace in almost a half hour. 

Tom looked into Aliena’s eyes ‘n noticed she was wearing a bit of makeup and holding a vanilla folder in her hand as well. “Night, Ali.” He replied.

Ali smiled at him, gave him a nod, and knocked on his desk before spinning around on her heels. Ali was almost out the door when her hand knocked into one of the chairs and the contents of the vanilla folder went flying. Ali cursed under her breath and bent down to collect the papers from the ground.

Tom’s eyes never left her arse. Tom recognized that Aliena was blessed with well-endowed features— ample breasts and a large behind as well as thighs. He admired the way her breasts hung from her body as she had to reposition herself to get a paper that had flown under the chair. He admired the arch of her back. 

Tom realized he was acting like a pervert and resituatied himself. He silently cleared his throat and sat up straight while tugging on his pants. Aliena tapped the folder on the ground to straighten its contents before rising from her knees. 

She smiled at him, sheepishly, as she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. “Sorry ‘bout that, Tommy. Good night.”

Tom repeated the phrase under his breath and Aliena made it out the door without a mishap. 

Finn came in not five minutes later, passing Aliena on the way to the office. He walked straight into Tom’s office. 

Tom’s head shot up and he didn’t hesitate to begin speaking, “Finn, I want you to look after Aliena tonight. I’m going over to Ada’s and I don’t know when I’ll be back.” Tom had risen from his seat as he spoke. Putting on his coat and cap. 

Tom walked over to Finn and clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Alright?”

Finn nodded. “Yeah, got it.”

Tom nodded and began walking ahead of his little brother, but then turned around all of a sudden. Tom pointed toward his desk ‘n said. “Oh and eat that for me, yeah? Aliena made it so… It should be good.”

Finn chuckled and took his brother up on the offer. He’d been starving.

Aliena rushed home and practically inhaled her meal. She didn’t want to eat, but since was planning to drink till her liver bursted— she didn’t want to knock out on the third drink. After eating, she hauled the tub to her room and took a bath.

Aliena decided tonight was the night. 

She wasn’t going to wait for Tommy anymore. 

She’s been building up to it and she didn’t care anymore. Virginity was just some societal construct anyhow. Plus, she wouldn’t tell anyone but she owned a dildo in her other universe ‘n yeah… 

Aliena just assumed this body, that was very fucking different, had it’s hymen, so…

She freshened up and shaved her vagina. Not for the poor guy she was going to use, but for herself. Aliena was big on, “you like me for me or you can fuck off.”

Don’t worry Ali had her hair all tied up away from the water and when she was done— all she had to do was dry her body off.

Ali kept her towel on as she did her makeup. She kept it light and noir like she did for the Garrison’s reopening. After makeup, she slid on her dress. The best Ali could describe it was a loose body con dress that had ruffles that reminded her of a curtain. It was sky blue ‘n fit with the times. 

Ali took down her hair once she was done putting on her dress. She tried her best to keep her waves, but they had ultimately lost most of their volume throughout the day. Aliena tried to not let it bother her. She put on her heels, grabbed a matching clutch, and her white fur coat. 

Aliena walked over to Finn’s room ‘n knocked on his door, asking if he was ready. He didn’t answer from his room, but from downstairs. Aliena hurried down the flight of stairs, joined their arms once she was down, and then they were on their way to the Garrison. 

Isaiah met them on the way, which was a pleasant surprise. Finn had invited him along ‘n of course Aliena wouldn’t mind. She hadn’t seen him in a long time, and she figured it was due to the business. 

Aliena was escorted with two men around her arms to the Garrison and she chatted with them the whole way. She was all smiles and it warmed both the men’s hearts. More so Finn than Isaiah. 

When they got to the pub, they instantly walked to the snug. They quickly seated themselves down ‘n got comfy. Isaiah ordered their bevvies from the window and they were served not too long after. 

The gang couldn’t have gotten there not twenty minutes later. Their hands were occupied with gifts ‘n the boys were carrying the cake. Aliena couldn’t feel more loved ‘n appreciated. She greeted her mates with kisses and hugs ‘n thanked them for the party. 

Aliena ended up thanking Douglas and Horace for showing up and for their gifts separately since she wasn’t expecting them. First manner of business was the birthday cake. Horace revealed this magnificent simple cake that had twenty candles around it.  

Ali couldn’t stop covering her face as she smiled. She tried reeling in her emotions, but she never could act “right” when people sang her happy birthday. For her birthday wish, she wished that she’d continue on working on her happiness. 

Before having a piece of cake, Aliena opened her presents. Cassie gave her another set of expensive jewelry that was to die for! Ali loved it! Douglas gave Aliena a new pair of shoes, a clutch, and a purse. While it wasn’t to die for, Aliena appreciated it since after all he didn’t even ask her what she wanted. It was ballsy to get a gift for Ali without talking to her first since her face usually gave her true thoughts away.

She’s worked on that since she was young, but sometimes it will show. Hasn’t happened yet, but doesn’t mean it won’t.

Angie gave Aliena more designer clothing while Horace bought her a typewriter. She absolutely gushed over their gifts, especially the typewriter. Tina’s present was Pride and Prejudice, Anna Karenina, Little Women, Romeo and Juliet, and The Picture of Dorian Gray. Aliena loved the fact that Tina gave her books. Truth be told, she hasn’t really read a book unless they were someone else’s. 

Isaiah didn’t have a gift, so we can skip over him. Finn, on the hand, did. Ali was a little apprehensive about it since last time he got her a gift, he would’ve caught a charge if he was anyone else. It was a big box, too. Aliena shook the lid off the box to find a box of items packed inside. There were about five different shades of lipstick, two bottles of perfume, and a whole lot of makeup. 

Ali couldn’t help but be in awe at the gift. She hugged Finn and thanked him for something so wonderful ‘n thoughtful. Finn was able to let go of the breath he was holding and felt extremely happy that she loved her gift. Swear, the boy had a smile for a majority of the night.

The minute Aliena was done opening her gifts, the real party began. Finn watched as Aliena and her mates took shot after shot after shot. He participated a bit himself, but out of conditioning from Aliena— he took his time. Isaiah was faring no better. He’d received the same order as Finn. His sole duty tonight was to protect Aliena ‘n the way she was drinking— he had a bad feeling something was gonna happen.

Eventually they made their way out of the snug ‘n began dancing more freely. Isaiah expertly manipulated Ali into only dancing with their mates. The minute she tried catching the eye of literally anyone else, he’d step in. 

Out in the city, he had no problem with who she danced with or who she made out with. In Small Heath, his and every other person’s eyes were at stake. But more importantly, his eyes were at stake!

Truthfully, Aliena wasn’t actually drunk— she was buzzed! But, she wasn’t drunk. She was mimicking Cassie’s behavior, who was on a completely different level drunkenness than her. She did it in a sense of solidarity and recklessness. She felt that since they were celebrating her birthday, since it was her night— she should be able to act freely. Especially when she was trapped in Birmingham per Tommy’s orders. 

Aliena was getting bored with just dancing and began to sing. She sang ‘Ain't No Other Man’ by Christina Aguliera. At first, it was just the mates who were aware that she was singing, but then other patrons heard her voice. Aliena was lifted in the air by a particularly strong ‘n tall patron and he set her down on the bar top. 

Aliena “under the influence” began to sing as clearly as she could and belt as loud as she could, as much in tune as she could manage. 

Not like they would know if she butchered the song or not.

Finn, who watched all of this go down, had enough. In his opinion, Aliena had gotten out of control ‘n it was out of his hands. So, he decided to get the big guns involved.

His senses were filled with her. Her perfume, the texture of her dress, the taste of her lips and the feeling of pressing them against his own. 

So, what had changed for him?

Tom wondered why her kiss didn’t set him aflame like it did months ago. 

“Tommy. Tommy, do you have someone?” She asked him. 

Tom kissed Grace again. 

“It's too late, Tommy.”

“It's 11:00, Grace.”

“I mean, it's too late. If you'd come with me to New York...”

“I had things to do.” He kissed her again, searching for that feeling. That feeling of completion and—! And wholeness.

“You mean the coin landed the wrong way?”

“It couldn’t have worked. That was the question.” Their lips met once more ‘n fiercer this time ‘round.

Grace parted from the kiss and breathily asked. “Tommy… Tommy, do you have someone?”

‘Yes?’ He thought as the memory of Aliena looking back at him at the park flashed in his mind. Tom took a deep breath. “I have a racehorse. She’s gonna win the Derby.” He said. Tom joined their lips again and this time— they didn’t part after a few seconds.

Tom was desperately seeking that feeling of passion, but he figured he was gettin’ into his own head by rushing it. So, he took it slow. Grace slipped down the sleeves of her dress, and it hardly did anything for him.

It aroused him, of course, but—! It wasn’t the same. It was akin to the times he’s laid with a prostitute. 

‘You’re getting in your head, Tom. The feeling will come back. Take your time.’ He told himself. He led her backward toward the couch, his lips never parting from hers. 

The more time he spent kissing her, the more that pit in his stomach grew. 

That feeling wasn’t coming back. 

Tom trailed down to her neck, and he paid attention to Grace there before going back to her lips.

‘Nothing. Nothing. Nothing! Give it some fuckin’ time, man!’

Then by the grace of God, the phone started going off. Tom parted from the kiss ‘n Grace’s hands flew to his face.

“Let it ring.” She rasped while trying to pull his face back to hers.

Tom never averted his gaze from the phone ‘n it didn’t stop ringing either. Annoyed, he got up from the couch and walked over to the telephone.

Tom had barely gotten the address out when Finn’s voice cut through the phone. “Tom, Tommy, are you there?”

“Finn, what’s happened? What’s wrong?” Panic overwhelmed his being and Tom began buttoning up his shirt.

The pub could be heard through the phone and Tom swore he could hear Aliena, but he thought he was just imagining it. 

Finn cleared his throat. “Uh, Tom, it’s Ali. She’s kinda going outta control right now.”

“You are there when I'm a mess

Talk me down from every ledge

Give me strength, boy, you're the best!

You're the only one who's ever passed every test!” 

Aliena’s belting could be heard from over the phone ‘n Tom sighed, exhaustedly. 

Finn continued. “She’s dancing and singing on top of the bar at the Garrison. I just—! I don’t know. I thought you should know. I don’t know what to do! Do I just let ‘er or—?”

Tom exhaled deeply as he rubbed his forehead. “Finn, all right, calm down. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Get her off the fucking bar top ‘n make sure she doesn’t do anything else.” He hung up the phone, turned around, and faced Grace.

She looked confused with her eyebrows drawn together and Tom was half surprised to see that her dress was still down. 

“Tommy,” She began. “What’s happened?”

Tom blinked before replying, “I, uh, I have to head back to Birmingham.”

“What?” She asked softly as she rose to her feet and slipped her sleeves back over her shoulders. 

Tom began putting his coat on as he said. “I can drive you, if you’d like, or you can call a Taxi.”

Grace scoffed while shaking her head. “You're serious, Tom?”

Tom looked at her like she stated the obvious and gave her a curt nod. “Yeah.”

Grace’s jaw dropped a little as did her head. She picked up her head, steeled her gaze, and stood up straighter. “I can find my own way back.”

He nodded again before motioning her to follow him out the door. 

The night didn’t go as he’d planned. But he had more important things to worry about. 

‘Fucking Aliena!’

Aliena was just glad she was able to finish her song before Finn and Isaiah pried her off the bar top. She had her little moment ‘n that’s all that mattered to her. ‘Cause she managed to get the attention of most of the lads in the pub.

Some were just staring at her from afar while others actually walked up to her. But they only managed to get a few words in before they were run off by Isaiah. At first it was cute. Yes, Aliena thought it was cute that Isaiah was scaring off the blokes that approached her— but then it got annoying. 

Why? Because he was ruining her fucking plan to lose her viriginity tonight!

“I’ma tell ya right now, mate. You either piss off or you’re losing your eyes, which one are you gonna pick?” Isaiah threatened the man in front of him.

The man scoffed and was about to say something when Isaiah reached up for his peaky cap.

“One...” Isaiah said ‘n that was all it took for the bloke to run off. 

  Aliena scoffed as she tried to look over Isaiah’s shoulder only to catch a glimpse of the guy running off. Aliena groaned and roughly shoved Isaiah in the chest. “The fuck are you doing, Saiah!” She shouted.

Isaiah raised his hands in surrender. “Look I’m sorry, Ali. All right, I’m sorry.”                              

Aliena’s face contorted in confusion and her head shook. “No, what the fuck is going on! You’ve never done this before, so what the ‘ell is up?”

Isaiah sighed and looked all around the room. He debated tellin’ her the truth or not, and he decided it would be easier if she just knew what was up. “Look, Ali… I can’t let any bloke in here have a go at you, all right?”

Her face didn’t change. “The fuck is that supposed to mean? The fuck you mean ‘you can’t let me’? Who’s...” Her voice trailed off as did her gaze.

‘No way!’ She thought. ‘There’s just no fucking way!’

Aliena huffed. “Di-Did Tommy—! Does Thomas have something to do with this?”

Isaiah nodded. He hesitantly said. “Tom… He ‘n the family ordered a long time ago that no one in Birmingham is allowed to have a go at ya. They’re not even allowed to accept a confession from you. And any Peaky Blinder who tries to disobey or not try ‘n help ya if you’re in danger, or knew about it ‘n let it happen— gets their eyes and tongues cut.”

Aliena was taken back by the rule. Some part of her was in awe that Tommy cared that much for her while the other was annoyed that he was. 

Why the fuck did he have to go ‘n do that? Why the fuck was he preventing her from going out with guys when he had no intention of going out with her himself? It was fucking ridiculous!

Her nose wrinkled in her anger before she closed her eyes and tipped her head back. Aliena took a deep breath before clapping her hands in front of her. “Okay, Saiah! You have two options. One, you either keep on carrying out this ridiculous order Tom have you ‘n you’ll have to face my wrath. Or two, you call it a night and get out of my fucking way. So, what is it gonna be one or two?”

Isaiah didn’t hesitate. “Two.”

Ali raised her hand for a high-five, which Saiah reciprocated. “Good man.” Aliena said before walking off, on the prowl. 

It took sometime before the men in the pub realized Isaiah was no longer lurking around Aliena and began approaching her again. Aliena was picky when choosing the man she wanted to lose her virginity to. After all, what’s the point of doing it if she wasn’t going to enjoy it? She wanted a man she could look at and be aroused from. 

She was lucky enough to find one sitting at the bar when she walked over to get another drink. His name was Robert, last name unknown since she didn’t care for it. They made small talk, but Aliena wasn’t looking to get to know him. She just wanted to make sure she could get wet. 

And she found that she could, as she began imagining all the positions he could put her in. 

Tommy kept intruding on her imagination— hijacking her scenarios, but she’d just close her eyes ‘n take a moment. The next time she opened her eyes, he was gone.

Aliena brought her bevvy up to her mouth and took a sip before shoving Robert’s shoulder for something  he said. 

Unbeknownst to her, Tom had walked into the pub deadset on finding her. And that didn’t take very long. Tom witnessed Aliena’s little interaction firsthand. She was sitting on top of the bar top while flirting with some random fucking bloke. He didn’t know what infuriated him more.  

The fact that someone dared to go against his orders, or that she was flirting with someone in front of his face. 

Tom’s jaw dropped a little and his tongue prodded the inside of his cheek. He closed his mouth and nodded before he made a beeline for Aliena. As he grew closer, she’d finally noticed him. A smile on her face was quickly wiped off as Tom walked right up to her, tugged her off the top ‘n threw her over his shoulder.

Ali gasped and exclaimed. “What—!”

Tom hiked her further up his shoulder before spinning around and making his way toward the door. “Shut up, Ali.”

“--the fuck are you doing!”

Tom had no intention of letting her down. He feared she’d just talk her way out of it, or try to fucking run away. Tom was gonna give her the lecture of a lifetime whether she liked it or not. He wasn’t going to let her get the chance to go back to her mates and cause more embarrassment for herself. 

Aliena was shouting at Tom to let her down. She was pounding on his shoulder as an extra measure, but it wasn’t like she was doin’ it hard either. The pounding resembled more like knocking or somethin’.

Eventually, Aliena huffed and just let herself be carried to wherever he was taking her. From the streets he was walking, Ali soon realized they were going to his flat. She tsked and tried to support her head up. 

When they reached his front door, Tom hiked her up on his shoulder again before reaching for his keys. 

Aliena rolled her eyes as she muttered. “I can walk on my own two feet, you know.”

Tom ignored her as he struggled to get his door unlocked and open. It was difficult with a body over his shoulders, but he did it. The minute he walked through the door— he let Ali down. 

As she regained her footing, Tom locked the door behind him. Ali stabilized herself rather quickly and threw her head back with an overexaggerated groan as she stomped away from Tom ‘n toward the stairs.

Tom turned back ‘round and shouted. “Oi! Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

Ali rolled her eyes and faced him. A hip dropped as she said. “To bed.”

He shook his head. “No.” Tom walked right up to her face and repeated. “No. We’re going to talk about the little show you put on at the pub. Huh?”

Ali averted her gaze from him and began shaking her leg.

Tom grabbed her chin and made her face him. “Huh? What the fuck was that t’night?”

Aliena couldn’t tell ya a blag. What he did went straight to her cunt and the fact she was looking to fuck tonight— did not help her case at all.

Tom released her chin and waited for Aliena to answer.

She sighed and waved her left arm out before letting it drop to her side. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talkin’ about, Tom.”

He scoffed.

“I DON’T... know what you’re talking about ‘cause all I was doing was having some fun with my mates. That’s all.” 

Tom shook his head. “No, that’s not all. You got on that bar top and sang and danced. You got drunk ‘n started making a fool of yourself.”

Aliena tsked, rolling her eyes, and throwing her head back. “I wasn’t fucking drunk.”

“Yeah fucking right!”

Aliena looked at him in disbelief. “You know what! You weren’t even fucking there, so I don’t even know how the fuck you knew about what I was doing, by the way! Don’t tell me you had another Peaky Blinder looking after me. ‘Cause that’d mean you sicked three people on me tonight, and I’d want to know the fucking reason for that too. ”

“Finn phoned me, worried about ya. And I did not sick three people on you tonight. I only told Finn to look after you.”

Aliena sighed deeply at the news, her eyes rolling again. A hand came up to her forehead and she rubbed it. “Finn...” She whispered. “Of fucking course, that goddamn kid.” Aliena didn’t even look at Tom again. Instead, she waved him off as she turned around while walking toward the staircase. 

“And where do you think you’re going, Ali? We’re not done here!” He shouted as he watched her climb the stairs. His gaze naturally falling on her arse. 

She craned her head back a little as she replied. “Yes, we fucking are. Both of our emotions are high right now. There’ll be no moving forward in this conversation. So good night, Tom.” 

Tom shook his head, his pointer finger running over his bottom lip. Angrily, he ripped off his coat, and threw both it and his cap on his sofa. He marched up the stairs as he shouted for Aliena.

Dumbly, Ali was deciding which room she wanted to bunk in for the night, and it allowed Tom just enough time to catch up with her. He grabbed her by the crook of her arm and pulled her into his room. He threw her into it, to which she cried out. 

“Jesus Christ, Tommy!” She yelled. 

None of this was helping, by the way. This roughness he was handling her with. Yeah, she liked this! So, he wasn’t winning in the slightest.

His eyes were blown wide, and his hands were on his hips. With the wave of his finger, he asked. “Yeah ‘n who the fuck was that who you were talkin’ too? Eh!”

Aliena squeezed her hands into fists before letting them relax as she stifled her groan. “God, Tommy! Why the fuck does it matter?”

“Who was he, Aliena! I want a fucking name!”

“I DON’T KNOW! Okay? He’s name was Robert and that’s all I know.” She yelled louder than Tom, which was making his blood boil more. Aliena clapped her hands and with finger guns, she began. “You know fucking what? Answer my fucking question, Tom. Why the fuck do you care? Huh?”

Aliena inched closer to him, and making Tom stand up straighter, slightly.

“Why the fuck did you have your men scare away other men away from me? Explain it to me.”

Tom chuckled, humorlessly. “For your own protection, sweetheart.”

She shook her head. “No. I would’ve believed you if you only ordered them to maim anyone who tried assaulting me. That would make it believable. But to put a city wide order that I was not to be fucking approached in the slightest! That even if I went up to them, they better run the other fucking direction unless they wanted to lose their eyes! No… Fucking no. So, tell me, Thomas. What the fuck is up?” 

Aliena was standing directly under Tom. She could hear his heavy breathing with clarity. He didn’t respond. She scoffed and walked away from him further into the room. 

By the grace of “intoxication,” Aliena felt like she was finally bold enough. She was going to blame it on the alcohol. If what she was about to do, backfired on her— she’d deny, deny, deny.

Tom watched as Ali walked away from him before facing him. The air about her was different. She didn’t look angry and annoyed anymore; she looked like she was on a mission. It was attractive. Seductive. Arousing.

Aliena’s fingertips trailed up her arm, an eyebrow raised as she said. “You wanna know why I was even talking to Robert, Thomas.” Her fingertips grazed up her left shoulder and across her collarbone. “It’s because I intended on fucking him.” Her voice trailed off at the end.

Tom’s head snapped up and he looked at her straight in the eyes, flabbergasted. He couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. 

‘She—! She was gonna what?’

Aliena giggled, humorlessly, as she took in Tommy’s expression. Her fingertips stopped her dance as she did so. Ali composed herself rather quickly ‘n she continued. “I was going to fuck him...” She shrugged her shoulders and pursed her lips as she said. “To finally get over you.”

Aliena cocked her head to the side and waited for his reaction. Tom shuffled his stance and tucked his hands into his pockets. He could feel his eyes glaze over and lust creep on him as Aliena teasingly had a single fingernail under the strap of her dress.

Aliena looked away before looking back at him. “So, there it is, Tommy. I said it. Now, you have two options. You either walk out that door, or...” Aliena attempted to look sexual as she slipped both of the straps of her dress down her shoulders ‘n let it fall to the ground. 

Tom gulped at the sight of her. Her bare breasts. The sight of her in nothing but her panties.

“You fuck me.” She finished, fixing her posture. 

Truthfully, she was trembling in anxiety. She hoped to God she wasn’t making a fool of herself.

Tom had to internally fight his demons and he needed to do it quickly, out of respect for her. It was a whole lot of, “should he” or “should he not.” But then, Aliena just had to trail her fingertip down her neck again with this far-off gaze and he knew his choice.

Tom rushed toward Aliena and captured her lips, hungrily. Aliena couldn’t help but gasp happily. Her mouth opening wide. Tom didn’t waste the opportunity to shove his tongue inside. He made her walk backward toward the wall. The pace caused Ali to be shoved into the wall. The pain that erupted in her back made her moan into his mouth. 

Tom’s hands trailed up from her waist all the way to her breasts and he squeezed them eagerly. Almost wantonly, Ali gasped with a smile again as she arched her back into Tom’s hands.

This… This is what Tom was talking about. This passion, this feeling of completion! This was it!

Tom parted from her lips which made her pant for air. He pressed kisses on the side of her mouth, her cheek, before peppering her neck with them. Aliena’s fingers found Tommy’s hair and she found herself pressing him closer against her neck. 

‘So, she feels it here...’ He thought.

Tom increased his antics. Nipping, sucking, and kissing her neck all over. While Aliena wasn’t moaning, she was panting ‘n gasping as if she couldn’t breath. Hitching as if she were in pain. 

Tom left her neck and lowered himself down to her breasts. He rolled her left nipple in his mouth while still kneading her right breast. When he decided to tug on her nipple with his teeth, he tugged on her right nipple with his fingers. Aliena gasped and yanked Tom’s hair as she arched her back into him further.

“Tommy...” She rasped. “I—! Please.” 

Mentally, it hurt her to plead like this. It sent her cheeks aflame, and she would’ve hid her face in embarrassment if she wasn’t feeling so much pleasure from running her fingers through his hair.

As Tom moved to her right tit, he shushed her and whispered against her skin. “Patience, love.”

Aliena’s breath hitched once more as Tom nibbled on her nipple, her thighs rubbed together. It did nothing, but allow her to get some pent up energy out of her. 

Tom let go of her right nipple with one last tug before he rose up a little to begin marking up the space above her breasts. Aliena giggled at him.

“So, are you a tits man, then, Tommy?” She asked breathily, a giggle at the end of her sentence.

Tom stopped sucking on a particular spot on her chest as he began to smile. He picked his head up and pecked her lips repeatedly. “Yours. I’ve. Been. Wanting to. Do this. To yours.”

Aliena’s hands had slid down to his face and she stroked his cheek lovingly. She parted from their pecks and whispered. “Who am I to deny you, then?”

Tom stared into her eyes before hooking his hands in the crooks of her knees and carrying her. Ali yelped and wrapped her arms around his neck before going into a giggling fit. Tom walked over to his bed and plopped her down on it. 

Aliena bounced as a result. Tom hurriedly back to yank his clothes off and cursed himself for wearing so many accessories. While Tom was working on taking off his shirt sleeve garters, Ali had scooted herself down the bed and worked on getting his belt off.

The whole situation was laughable, so Tom began to laugh— which made Aliena laugh. Once Tom got the bloody things off, Aliena had already thrown aside his belt and unzipped his pants. Tom bent down and tried to kiss Aliena. 

She realized what he was trying to do ‘n met him halfway by standing on her knees. Grateful that she allowed him to bend less, he continued working on unfastening the buttons on his vest ‘n shirt while slipping off his shoes. He took off his shoes, stepped out of his pants, and kicked them both away while throwing his vest and button up off his shoulders. 

The pair broke their kiss to let Tommy yank off his under shirt. Tom found her lips once more as he slowly climbed on top of her and hovered above her on his bed. After a minute or two more of kissing, he parted and asked against her lips. “Are you sure you want this, Aliena? We can stop right now.”

Ali stared into Tommy’s eyes. His beautiful blue eyes. She nodded her head. “I want you, Tommy. It’s always been you.”

They stared into each other’s eyes a bit longer before Tom’s head ducked down and began trailing deep kisses all the way down to her groin where the hem of her panties lied. He placed kisses along the hem as he hooked his fingers into the side of the band, and slowly slid them down. 

Aliena’s eyes were closed shut and she was fisting the blankets of his bed. She flinched at every kiss he placed closer and closer to her cunt. 

Tom licked a long stripe upward toward Ali’s clit as he slid her panties down her legs entirely. Ali whimpered as her hips bucked. Tom couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his mouth. Aliena was biting her bottom lip so harshly that she was afraid it would split. 

Tom spread her pussy and started off slow before working his way toward violently flicking her clit with his tongue and sucking on it. Aliena still didn’t allow her moans to escape her, instead, only letting out whimpers, gasps, and pants. 

Aliena’s thighs clamped around Tom’s ears, but that didn’t stop him. Hell, it couldn’t even stop him from hearing her little mewls. 

Ali felt that familiar build up growing in the pit of her stomach, and her hand flew to Tom’s hair. “Tommy, I’m close!” She said. “Stop, please. I don’t wanna... without ya...”

Tom didn’t stop, in fact, he worked her faster. “Go on.” He rasped. “Come.”

Aliena’s hands flew to her face as her face contorted in pure pleasure. Tom didn’t like that. She was blocking the view. Ali threw her head back and finally let out an audible moan. Her hips wildly bucked against Tom’s mouth and chin, and he let her ride out her climax. 

He let go of her with a pop and a hiss. Tom took a deep breath, trying to catch it before sliding a finger along her opening. Aliena’s hands had fallen to the sides of her head. An uncontrollable smile on her face. She outstretched her arms and whispered, lovingly. “Tommy...”

Tom felt his heart swell and without stopping his teasing— he leaned toward her and kissed her as she wanted.

Aliena didn’t mind the taste of herself on his lips, she was used to it. Having been a chronic masturbator. Ali tugged on Tom’s bottom lip and when she finally let go, she coquettishly whispered. “Fuck me, Tommy, please. I’m ready.”

Tom’s eyes looked over her face and he chuckled. He pecked her lips before replying, “No, it’s your first time, Ali. I won’t be rough with you. This time.”

Ali’s mouth stretched upward into a smile and she bit her lip. “Promise?��

As Tom finally slipped a finger inside her— making her gasp, he rubbed his nose against hers, replying, “I promise.”

Tom slowly pumped his finger in and out of Ali, and truthfully, the girl felt nothing. She’s teased her hole with her fingers loads of times. So, it was just a foreign feeling. But for the sake of seemingly “innocent,” she began panting a little.

Tom added a second finger and then a third— and that’s when she felt something. Her pants turned real and she wondered if he had to add the third finger so that she could accommodate to his size. She still hadn’t seen him. 

Meanwhile, Tom was handling his delayed satisfaction just fine. He wasn’t a teenager anymore, so he was lucky enough to just be able to focus on making this the best experience for Aliena as possible. When he felt that her pussy was sucking his fingers in, instead of trying to push them out— he removed them. 

Aliena moaned and looked up at Tom. Tom misinterpreted her gaze as her being scared and was quick to reassure her that everything would be alright. In reality, Aliena was just startled that her pleasure had been taken away from her.

She never thought she’d get off on fingers. She thought it was impossible for her. 

‘You really do need someone else’s fingers.’ She thought.

Tom pulled down his boxers and kicked them away. He was about to gather her wetness when Ali took his hand and pulled it toward her mouth. She gathered the saliva in her mouth and let it fall down onto his hand. His cock throbbed in his hand at the action. 

He couldn’t believe that she’d be this tempting. 

Tom lathered his cock in Ali’s spit and pumped his cock a few times, hissing at the pleasure he gave himself before lining up to Aliena’s entrance. Tommy hovered above her and took his free hand, and interlocked it with hers. 

“You ready?” He asked once more.

Aliena nodded. “Yes, yes, please...”

Tom kissed Ali as he slowly entered her. Ailena moaned from the sensation. Tommy began littering the side of her mouth and cheek with kisses. They both groaned when he was fully sheathed inside her. Her walls fluttered around his cock, squeezing him tightly. 

Made him grunt from the sensation. 

Aliena wasn’t in pain, but it has certainly been awhile since a cock has been inside her. Not to mention, she was still pretty sure this body was a virgin. There was no pain, but there was a lot of pressure. She couldn’t tell if he was big or not.

Aliena just felt very “full” and “satisfied.”

“Move, Tommy.” She rasped.

Tom breathily chuckled. “I can’t. You haven’t gotten used to it, yet.”

Aliena gripped his chin and made him face her. “Tommy, move slowly. I want to feel you.”

How the fuck could he deny that?

Slowly, Tom began moving his hips. He’d pull out just enough so his tip won’t fall out and then slide all the way back in. Ali whimpered at the feeling, but after enough times— she found herself wanted more. So, she vocalized it.

“Faster, Tommy.” 

Tom complied to her wishes and began thrusting faster. He found himself admiring this whole situation. Intoxicated on the feeling he’d been missing from… Yeah.  It was Ali. He’d fallen in love with Ali. 

Tom was taking in every reaction she had. With her legs wrapped around his waist, her breasts bouncing softly with each thrust, and her face contorted in pleasure. She couldn’t hide since their fingers were interlocked. 

Tom’s breath began to waiver as pants and grunts escaped his lips. He picked up the pace to which Ali couldn’t hold back her moans anymore. This only encouraged Tom to go even faster. 

“Fuck, Tommy! Yes!”

Ali was unsure of what she was feeling. She couldn’t tell if she was climbing toward her big O, or if she was getting off on pleasing him. She actually never orgasmed when using her dildo, but this was different. Sex with Tommy was different, of course it was, and that’s what threw her off. 

It wasn’t till Ali began bucking her hips upward did she realize she was really feeling it. Ali admired Tom’s blissed out face. She was doing this to him, and it absolutely gave her an ego boost. 

They were meeting each other’s thrust so roughly that all you could hear was skin slapping against skin along with the sloppy wet sound coming from Aliena’s pussy. It fueled them both with more lust for one another. 

Aliena felt that pit in her stomach again and she cried out as did Tom since her pussy tightened around his cock. He was so close and her tightening didn’t help at all. 

“Tommy, I’m clo—!”

Tom slammed his lips on hers before reaching down with one hand and began rubbing her clit. Aliena’s hips stuttered, her legs trembled, and her grip on Tommy’s hand turned iron. Tom pounded into her cunt, overwhelmed with pleasure. Aliena’s squeal as she came was muffled by Tom’s kiss. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and her back arched into his chest. 

Tom wasn’t too far behind. He parted from the kiss and looked up at the ceiling as he came. Strained pants escaped him as he rode out their highs. Tom hiked Aliena’s legs up and got incredibly deeper which made Aliena giggle and sigh.  

Ali was surprised at how fucking nice it felt to be came inside of, but she loved every minute of it. Ali was the one to capture Tom’s lips this time and when she parted, she asked.

“You down for a round two?”

Tommy chuckled as he rested his forehead against her own. “Why the fuck not!”

Aliena gasped as he flipped them over with her now on top. Aliena laughed breathily and steadied herself by placing both of her hands on Tom’s chest. Tom was taken back at how sexy she was above him.

TAG LIST: @amirahiddleston @nemesis729​ @salvatoreitmeanssaviour @tlfshelby1 @halepea @lilymurphy03 @marsfireeyes @masumiyetimziyanoldu @i-love-superhero​ @thatweirddaydreamer​ @xxbeckybeexx-blog​ @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch​ @well-hydratedpvssy​ @the-jess-life @babaohhhriley @7shadesofharold​ @melissamaine​ @urbankaite2

[towerofgodscreamblogwink]

reading s3 ep 70-71 but we got activists, White is fighting walmart employee, siu gives me crisis, also we got sassy mouse 

Jinsung: bro we were supposed to watch disney :v not some kiddos fightin each other to death

Maschenny: but it’s bam-

WHA DA FU

and i’m posting this one from fan translation, BECAUSE OFFICIAL CUT THE NYAA and that’s illegal

I HATE THESE.

legitemaly only catboy would have enough audicity to make em

but still shame on line for cutting the nya

oh i see they’re the activists

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH oh that’s cruel but fitting the tower tbh, BUT im curious to see how bam reacts

Holy SHIT and khun is in a team that's supposed to catch the mice Khun catboy confirmed

[insert fandom screaming over white]

v right to left

pain

he’s the walmart

oh fuck oh shit -

also white stop fighting walmart employees wtf

well then

Don't get cocky, this is shounen, deus ex machinas (such as yourself) are being thrown on left and right

second COMBO?? what’s with this gamer talk

bro im too tired to make gamer white edits smh

BRUH

The Legends Of White Vs Walmart Employe: The End

Ok but fr when he got his arms cut i was like BRUH esp that i’m only now replacin the screens from fan translations to official ones - and unlike in official ones, in fanmade THERE WASN’T ANY WARNING SO IT WAS EVEN BIGGER BRUH MOMENT

bro you just got defeated by a huge ass twink 

ATTENTION: WHITE SAYS SQUEAK

also i bet if people haven’t read this chapter, i’d easily be able to convince them that this is just another of my edits

i-- no thoughts, head empty, panel of nothing but white going squeak squeak

translation: there’s a soul waiting to be nommed

👁👄👁 wat 

well then fellas the pretty boy has spoken, choop choop *moves the fandom away*

ok no i’m about to scream if siu’s literally making “hansung: i want no stalker” jokes, ya’ll,, y’all realize it means siu IS aware how fandom is thirsty for,,

Bruh. 

look at this motherfucker

“I’m gonna fuck em up so hard, they won’t be even able to tell which dick was it.”

i hate it

you know this just reminds me when siu said in his blogposts recently he wanted to strip down a male character, and it’s like, 

ye siu, we been knew.

Yo this panel good af Also I think we all know he won’t die like this

ALSO HEY, WE’RE GOT AN AD?

HELP THEY’RE SO CUTE WTF

FDSFSDFSDFSDF

My skin is clear, my grades are high.

I just realized- 

White: I’m a predator.  Also White: SQUEAK SQUEAK.

[nerdyfangirl67]

A Snowy Night’s Kiss - NCIS Reader Insert (12 Days of Christmas)

Pairing: McGee x reader

Warning: fluff!

Word count: 991

A/N: This is a small drabble for a Christmas mini-series I am writing. Each story is different, and are even in different fandoms, but I will try to pull in twelve different themes of Christmas. I hope y’all enjoy this one, and the ones to come!

You let out a groan of frustration as you look at the stack of paperwork you still had yet to finish on your desk. It seemed that you never made a dent in the stack, rather, after each case, it looked to only double in size. 

Tim had long since gone home for the night and you hadn’t the faintest idea where Gibbs was. That meant it was just you and Tony in the half-lit, deserted bullpen. You bite back another groan as you set your pen down, your eyes automatically finding Tim’s empty desk. 

As you stare at his vacant chair, you can’t help but wish that he was actually there. He was your best friend, partner, and love of your life and always made things, work-related or not, better simply by being there. Of course, you had never admitted to him that he was anything more than a partner and friend, despite how painfully obvious it was to everyone but him. Even Gibbs knew.

“Ah, would you just tell him already doll?” Tony’s voice snaps you from your reverie. You turn to him, feigning confusion as you say, “I am unsure of what you mean Tony.”

Tony lets out a bark of a laugh. “Sure doll. The only one who doesn’t know is McOblivious. Heck, I’m sure Ducky even knows by now.” You let out a sigh, knowing you couldn’t fake your way out of this conversation. You turn your attention back to the pen in your hand, fiddling with it as you ask, “What am I supposed to do Tony? I have given him so many hints and he still hasn’t gotten it.” It was quiet for a few minutes after that. 

Then you hear Tony stand up from his desk, his heavy footsteps making their way to your desk, causing you to lift your head to look at him. He grabs your jacket from where it was strewn across the small chair behind your desk. 

“Y/N, you’ve got to tell him. Stop giving him hints, he’ll never figure it out.” Tony says as he holds your jacket up. You quirk an eyebrow at him, unsure of what he was doing. 

“Now. You’ve got to go tell him now.” He adds. You slowly stand up, letting Tony help you with your jacket. You had always wanted to tell him, but could never work up the courage, thus the countless hints you had thrown at him. Now that you knew you would be telling him, a heavy cloud of hesitation and doubt settled over you.

“But, what if he doesn’t feel the same way? What am I going to do then Tony?” You ask quietly as you gather the rest of your things into your bag. 

Tony places a soft hand on your arm. In a moment of complete seriousness, he answers. “Then he is a bigger idiot than I thought.” His words make you turn to look at him. He has a far off look in his eyes as he adds, “Whatever happens, you’ll know it wasn’t because you didn’t put yourself out there. And if he is an idiot, then I’ll be right here for you okay?”

You nod and sling your bag over your shoulder. “Now go and find McNerd.” He says, the familiar glint of humor back in his eyes. 

The drive to Tim’s apartment is short, much shorter than you would have liked, considering the task at hand. You take a minute to compose yourself before you exit the car. 

You reach to grab the door handle of the building when it flies open, catching you off guard and causing you to stumble back. A hand snakes out, stopping you from falling backward. You steady yourself against a strong chest before looking up. Words of gratitude are perched on your lips when you realize that the person still holding you close is Tim. 

“Tim.” You whisper, the words you had been ready, or at least as ready as you’d ever be, to tell him moments earlier, flying out of your head. 

“Oh, Y/N. What are you doing here?” His voice sends pleasant shivers down your spine. 

You step back, in hopes of clearing your head. “I..uh...actually came to see you. I want to tell you something.” You unconsciously pull your jacket around you tighter, in hopes of fighting off the cold December air. 

Tim notices the small act and he pulls you closer, wrapping a strong arm around your shoulders. “Why don’t we step inside?” He suggests. 

You shake your head and step back from him, your body craving his warmth almost immediately. “I’ve got to say this before I lose my nerve.” You take a fortifying breath before you continue. “I love you, Tim. I have for a long time now. And even if you don’t feel the same way, I needed to tell you.” You whisper. 

Fat flakes of falling snow create an eerily quiet, yet tenderly soft, atmosphere as you wait for Tim to say something. He stares at you a long moment before a wide smile breaks out on his face. 

Instead of saying anything, he pulls you into his arms, his lips meeting yours in a deeply passionate kiss. You feel a hand cupping your cheek and another on the low of your back. You kiss him until you have to pull back for a desperate breath. He rests his forehead against yours, his hot breath fanning across your face and causing the few flakes of snow resting in your eyelashes to melt. 

“Y/N, I have been waiting for months to hear you say that.” He mumbles, his eyes half-closed and his lips parted. A half-smile creeps onto your face as you pull his face down to yours, kissing him and telling him all the things you had been wanting to for months. And knowing he felt the same made this moment even sweeter.

[wandasallerdyce]

Touch - Bucky Barnes x M! Reader

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x M! Reader

Fandom: Marvel

Warning(s): slight cussing, mention of hard pp

Request: yes/no

Plot: Reader is a sibling to Wanda Maximoff. Has the same abilities as her. Takes place after Endgame, but there will be flashbacks. Loosely inspired by Touch by Little Mix

Notes: so, this is a long fic since I kept on writing. I wrote this at 1 so if it’s cringey y’all know why. Please enjoy and vote :)

You and Bucky’s relationship was… strange to say the least. You guys weren’t dating, yet you guys were all touchy and cuddly. Neither of you guys knew when it had all started and if left Steve confused as this Bucky wasn’t known to be all touchy and stuff. Sam was amused and your sister, Wanda, would just smile at you. In her mind, she knew that you found the right person for you as she had with Vision.

~•~

You and Wanda were in the backseat of the van sitting in silence. You could read in her mind that she felt bad about putting Vis in the ground, but it has to be done so you guys could leave. Ever since the Lagos incident, you had stayed locked in her room with her trying to help her feel better (with some help from Vision of course). The van came to a halt as Clint told you guys that you were at the airport.

You guys stepped out of the van and saw the rest of the team. Sam, Bucky, and Steve were all there, looking safe. You smiled at Steve, as you guys were basically best friends since you joined the Avengers and he helped you and Wanda deal with the loss of your guys’ brother, Pietro. You turned your head in the direction of the little blue car, seeing Bucky far from the group. When you guys locked eyes, you felt an excitement you hadn’t felt in a while.

As you stared into his eyes, all time seemed to stop. All Bucky could think of was how beautiful you looked as the sun hit your face. “Oh! And I know you also! Your her brother.” The man, who you had come to known as Scott (who was asleep the whole ride) exclaimed pointing to you and your sister. Both of you just have a small smile to him. Bucky was a little mad that your attention had been diverted somewhere else, but he guessed introductions were necessary.

When introductions where over, it was time to change. Before anyone else could, you and Wanda called dibs on the van. To say some weren’t mad was an understatement. It was going to be uncomfortable changing outside for the others. And to add salt to the wound, the both of you giggled as you guys got into the van to change. “Godammit, Wanda and (y/n) are always quick. Those troublemakers.” Clint grumbled quietly. Bucky just smirked slightly, finding it pretty amusing on how mischievous both of you were, especially you.

Your suit was designed to be like your sister’s. You had a trench coat, leather jeans, gloves and boots like her, except that your chest piece was kind of like a jacket, zipping up. You always left it a little open though. When Bucky saw you when you stepped out of the van, he was blushing furiously. He knew the times were different, but he wasn’t prepared to see you dressed so… nicely. You turned over to see Bucky standing stiff and you just gave him a quick smile and waved. You on the other hand, liked the way the silver from his metal arm popped with the dark colors he wore.

Once your teams were assigned, you went with Bucky and Sam to your guys’ hideout. Bucky was walking stiffly, not trying to make his boner obvious. You, as oblivious as always, took this as nervousness, and, in an effort to calm him, you grabbed his hand and squeezed it lightly. If Bucky hadn’t been a mess by now, he definitely was one as of now.

‘Fuck fuck fuck, go to your calm place Barnes. Don’t make it obvious’ he repeated in his mind, trying to make his boner go down. Once he made it to the lookout place with you guys, he let out a loud sigh he didn’t know he was holding in. “Geez, can you sigh any louder?” Sam complained. Bucky just rolled his eyes at the remark. You simply giggled and said, “Easy Wilson, he’s a newbie to your sass.” He smiled slightly, thankful for you standing up for him.

All three of you were looking out the window until you guys saw a… person swinging towards you? Either way, all three of you started running. You heard a window crash and punches being thrown. “You have the right to remain silent!” Said the person, who you came to deduce as a boy yell. You rolled your eyes, clearly telling he was on the younger side. Why Tony would bring a child was beyond your imagination but hey, it was Tony after all and he didn’t really think things through to begin with.

You turned around and saw a clear shot, so you powered a hex ball that you threw towards him. He barely dodged it, so you decided to keep him distracted by repeatedly throwing them. Using that distraction, Sam was able to kick the boy. The plan backfired on you guys as he was making your way towards Bucky, who was standing near a ledge. With your quick thinking, you blocked the boy’s kick, which caused you and Bucky to break the glass and fall. Bucky wrapped his arms tightly around you as you fell and landed on his back with a thump. You opened your eyes and were met with Bucky’s.

“Well this is awkward.” You said while smiling lightly. He smirked and simply said, “It’s a good kind of awkward. What you both hadn’t expected was for web kid to web you guys together, in that exact position, with you straddling Bucky’s waist. ‘Oh no’ Bucky simply thought, hoping he wasn’t a roused down there. Sam eventually got webbed down there along with you guys. The kid explained how he had to impress Tony and some other stuff which you barely paid attention to. As he was about to shoot a web, Sam summoned redwing to drag the kid out of the window.

“You couldn’t have done that sooner?”

“I hate you”

~•~

You hadn’t expected to fight against your friends, but if it was for a good cause, then so be it. You saw Bucky struggling to fight a man in a panther costume. As Black Panther (you had learned his name due to his costume) was about to slice Bucky’s neck, you summoned your powers to stop the attack, which was very close to Bucky’s neck, and threw Balck Panther towards a crate.

You locked eyes with Bucky and simply nodded. He smiled back and gave you a thumbs up. From then on, you guys stuck together in the battle looking out for each other. You and Bucky hid behind a truck as Rhodey launched missiles towards both of you. Once both of you were hidden, you guys discussed your teams next move. You had come to the conclusion that Steve and Bucky where to leave in the quinjet and the rest of you would stay. To say Bucky was pissed was an understatement. He was furious that you had decided to stay.

You looked into his eyes one last time and pulled him into a hug. “Listen Bucky, you need to go and stop this doctor. You and Steve are the only ones who can do it. Trust me. Once the missions over, come back for me. Only after it’s finished though.” You said, trying to make him understand. “I promise, (y/n) Maximoff.” He whispered into your ear. You pulled back and cupped his face. He looked like he was about to cry, not wanting to loose another friend. You leaned in and kissed his cheek. He smiled brightly and with that, you got up to help your sister fight off the others.

~•~

Your mind felt hazy as you woke up. You looked around and saw that you were in the quinjet. You squinted your eyes, as your last memory had been of The Raft.

You had it the worst. They hosed you down with cold water and dressed you in clothes that got wet easily. And in addition, they made you wear a shock collar and straight jacket. Your sister was treated a little more fairly, which you were glad about. As long as she was safe it was alright. When Steve has found you, he was beyond pissed. He considered you one of his closest friends and seeing you like this had him seeing red. He had found you in a fetus position lying down on the floor, shivering from the cold. Your memories after that were blurry and you passed out again in the quinjet.

When you woke up, you turned your head and saw Steve and Wanda sitting in the chairs next to your bed waiting for you to wake up. “S-Steve?? …Wanda??” You croaked our, your voice raspy from the pressure of the shock collar. Wanda, after hearing you speak, got up from her chair and rushed to your side and holding your hand. Steve went to go call out for a nurse to let them know you were awake. The nurse came in along with Steve and checked on you to see if you needed more medical attention.

After reading your vital signs and making sure you were okay, she explained to you that you were in Africa, in a country named Wakanda. She told you that you were safe here, as it was hidden from the world, and, you should regain more of your voice in a few days. After she left, Wanda explained what happened after the airport. Apparently there were more Winter Soldiers and the doctor had been apprehended, but at the cost of the disbandment of the Avengers (and Bucky’s arm).

You frowned, seeing as the Avengers had become your family after you lost your parents and your brother. Steve was up next and he told you that Bucky went into ice again. He also explained how stubborn Bucky was being before it. Apparently, he didn’t want to start until he had seen you. They explained that you weren’t awake yet and that he would be allowed to visit after. But oh boy, was he one stubborn man. You smiled lightly. “They got fed up with him so they finally let him visit. He looked sad seeing you in that bed, (y/n). He told me to tell you that he also got you those flowers.” Steve said, pointing to the vase next to you.

The flowers were beautiful. It was a vase filled with sunflowers, which Bucky chose because they reminded him of when you guys met. The sun that shined on your face making you glow beautifully. You smiled, hoping Bucky was doing alright

~•~

A few months had passed and you had moved in with Bucky in a hut near the plains. It was beautiful whenever the sun would set. During that time, you became best friends with Shuri who at this time was helping you design a new costume. The sun had set and you were making your way back home.

When you had moved in with Bucky, the first few days were pretty awkward. Seeing as there was one bed, you guys had to share it seeing as both of you didn’t want the other to sleep on the floor. During the night, you had ended up cuddling into each other’s embrace. Your head on Bucky’s chest and his arms wrapped around you. Needless to say, it was pretty awkward when you guys woke up in the morning.

There was a lot of blushing at first, both of you trying to stutter out an apology. You guys eventually got up and decided not to speak on it. But again that night, you guys ended up on the same position. Eventually, that became your guys’ go to sleep position.

“Are you comfortable Bucky?”

“Of course doll”

~•~

This brought you back to the present day. Apparently it had been 5 years since Thanos snapped and it was now 2023. You were thankful that your friends were able to reverse it, but you suffered with the losses it took. Natasha has been a good friend of yours also. She trained both you and your sister in hand to hand combat and would always have girls (and one boy) night every Friday which consisted of you guys putting on a cheesy rom com or an action movie. How you wished you could go back to those times when life was simple.

Well, Steve did. He was able to go back to Peggy (which you didn’t agree with, since Peggy got to move on and live her new life). You would go back, but you now had Bucky, and you wouldn’t go back in time just to mess that up. On to you and Bucky. You guys were sitting in the dock outside of Stark’s house. Both of you sitting in a comfortable silence with your head on his shoulder and your hands entertwined.

“(y/n), what are we?” Asked Bucky softly. “I don’t know James.” You responded with the same softness. He turned his head towards you and said, “I think boyfriend would suit you great. If that’s what you’d like of course.” Bucky said, staring into your eyes and blushing. “I’d love that. We could find a nice apartment and move in there. What do you say Buck?”

“Of course doll”

~•~

It had been 3 years since the snap. You and Bucky were now engaged and it’s as if the touching had escalated since your engagement. Both of you would always be holding hands or if kisses were exchanged, your guys’ hands would roam somewhere else. You were currently with Wanda, about to tell her about your engagement in a coffee shop. She was talking about how she had a plan to help bring Vision back with the help of a woman named Darcy Lewis.

You were happy for her as since when she came back, she hadn’t gone back into the depressed state she was in before. She had learned to accept his death and know that there could be a way to bring him back. ‘Okay this is it. Just tell Wanda and she’ll be excited about it.’ You repeated to yourself.

“Wanda, I have to tell you something.” You said, mustering up the courage. “Your engaged to Barnes aren’t you?” She said with a smirk. “You read my mind, didn’t you?” You said, laughing quietly. “That and the ring was making it obvious.” She said smiling. “I wanted it to be a surprise, but this works as well.” You said giving her a big smile. “Well dear brother, just know I’m happy for you. Now, (y/n) Maximoff-Barnes has a nice ring to it. Or are you just gonna go (y/n) Barnes? Oh! Or maybe (y/n) Barnes-Maximoff?” She said, not being able to hold in her laughter. You joined her, laughing your butts off in the cafe.

~•~

Today was the day. Today you would marry James Buchanan Barnes. Your soulmate. The man who was there for you whenever you messed up. You loved him with all your heart. You had chosen Wanda as your maid of honor (obvi), and the others consisted of Pepper, Valkyrie (who refused to wear a dress which was fine, as you guys got her the flashiest tux), and Laura. Bucky’s groomsmen consisted of Steve who was the man of honor (time travel cause Bucky wouldn’t have it a different way) Sam (who was reluctant at first, but eventually gave in), Thor and Clint.

You guys had planned the wedding to be small as both of you guys weren’t big on big weddings. The colors were a mix of white and pink. You were nervous to say the least. Sure, you wanted to get married to Bucky, you were just worried about how the wedding was gonna play out. Eventually, the time had come to walk down the aisle. You were walked out by Stephen Strange per your request. He had a become a father figure to you, as he helped you control your magic more and eventually you guys became great friends and he claimed you as his “son” seeing as he didn’t want any real “rascals” as he put it.

So here he was, your adoptive father walking you to your new life. There he was, standing in a grey suit with a white shirt, pink vest and tie. It was a struggle to get Bucky to agree to that as he was used to wearing dark colors. As you made it to the altar, your eyes locked an never broke eye contact. Both of you in your own world not paying attention to the priest. Eventually, you guys exchanged your vows and were officially married. You wondered how you were gonna tell Stephen about how soon you and Bucky were gonna adopt, but that’s a story for another time. You don’t want grandpa having a heart attack, do you?

AAAAAANNNNNNNDDDD ITS DONE. WOOO THIS WAS A LONG ONE. IM SORRY IF ITS CRINGEY I WROTE THIS AT 1AM. As always please vote if you guys enjoyed. Love you guys!

[cinebration]

That Makes Two of Us (Loki x Reader) [Part 2]

Second and final discussion.

Because y’all asked…

Tagged: @damalseer​, @helen-paris, @accio-boys, @multi-fandom-fics

Part 1 | Part 2

Warnings: none

Gif Source: mcufam

The next morning, you stood before the door with a tray of food in your hands. Steeling yourself and squaring your shoulders, you stepped through.

“She returns!” Loki’s voice echoed around the empty chamber.

Ignoring him, your eyes averted, you slid the food through the slot and took up your post a few feet away. You stood so that all he could see was the profile of your face.

The tray’s lid popped off, followed by the quiet sounds of dainty chewing. Glancing askance at him, you met his piercing eyes. His lips peeled back into a grin.

You tore your attention away.

“You never answered my question.” His voice seemed almost in your ear.

He didn’t have to tell you which question. It had consumed you all night, as had others building off it. It had taken two cups of chamomile tea and concerted effort to sleep two hours before your morning alarm. You had almost called in sick to work.

Your gaze drifted back to him, almost against your own will. He returned the gaze levelly, mischief dancing in his pupils.

A quote from a Terry Pratchett novel suddenly rose to mind as you wondered why Loki cared. “If you weren’t interested in people, then you didn’t have the heart of a trickster.”

Two could play at that game.

“If you’re a god, how could two humans beat you?”

The smile slipped off his face. “They weren’t ordinary humans.”

“Does that make you a lesser god?”

The vicious barb stung, lodging in the trickster. His brow creased, a dark cloud passing over his fine face.

“I thought you were the brains,” you continued, the words slipping out of you as though waiting for this exact moment, “but you’re stuck in a cage. And for what? To rule over humans? We’re garbage.”

“Then tell me, o omniscient one,” he quipped, an edge lining his words, “what would you have done?”

“For one, I wouldn’t have made my first appearance a public spectacle. You want power in this world? You have to be a snake in the grass.”

“Like you?”

You laughed harshly, but the sound died in your throat as your mind latched onto the question. Were you a snake in the grass, lying in wait? Had you been the whole time?

Shaking your head, you returned your attention to the Asgardian. The infuriating smirk had returned to his face, the smug look as sharp as the verbal barb you had thrown at him.

Your chest constricting with an unusual feeling, you stepped up to the glass. Loki remained seated, but he ceased eating, amused. There had to be something to knock his arrogance down a few pegs.

“Do you know why ruling over humans is stupid? We’re talking monumentally stupid?”

“Enlighten me,” he purred.

“Because no matter how you rule, we won’t all love you.”

Loki reared back as though slapped. You blinked, and he was suddenly right before you, his breathing fogging up the glass. The rage felt palpable despite the obstruction.

“Do not presume to know me,” he hissed.

“Then don’t presume to know me either,” you spat back.

The anger lessened on both sides of the glass as you stared at each other. Loki stepped back first, the dangerous humor returning to his face and posture as he sauntered back to his seat.

You stayed put, vibrating with energy you didn’t know what to do with. Had you seen yourself in the mirror, the woman staring back would not have been recognizable, what with her wild eyes and flushed cheeks.

“You know,” Loki said between bites of his food, “I’ve been an actual snake. Many times, actually. It can be quite fun.” Genuine humor lit up his eyes as he recalled some memory.

“Not all of us have parlor tricks.”

“No,” he agreed. “Clearly some of you are master illusionists. You conceal from yourself as well as others.”

Unease slithered through you. “It’s the human way.”

“Indeed.”

He slid the tray back to you. As you recollected it, you felt his eyes boring into you, trying to unravel your inner riddles. Something about your invisibility, you were sure, made you as clear as smoky glass. A smile touched your lips at the thought.

“Do visit again,” he said as you turned to leave.

You paused to look at him. “I don’t think so.” You headed for the door. “Like you said, why am I still even here?”

You quit after leaving his cell, packed up your things, and returned to land. No one noticed your absence.

Later you learned that Loki’s scepter had been feeding on and fostering animosity in the people onboard the air carrier. It explained your uncharacteristic behavior.

Or did it?

You let the question sit for a few days, turning it over in your head, before it resolved itself.

Loki, and his scepter perhaps, had freed you from your invisibility. You had been given a chance to let the cloak slip, revealing something of your true self. That’s all that had been needed.

Now all that was necessary was figuring out what to do with yourself.

You could almost hear Loki purr in your ear: Be a snake.