#xenologue characters don't have too many but each time i find something new to appreciate

[rafent]

hibiscus :   how does your muse view the gentler ,   daintier things in life ?as things worth preserving   &   caring for ,   or things only bound to wither   &   disappear ?

HIBISCUS: How does your muse view the gentler, daintier things in life? As things worth preserving & caring for, or things only bound to wither & disappear?

On average Rafal tends to see daintier concepts through a detached lens, enjoying them and recognizing them from a respectful distance due to the strong impression he has toward being undeserving of those things.

Regarding gentler things like love and friendship, it's understandable considering the majority of his formative years and his entire adult life was spent as Nil's imposter. Any happiness he experienced during that phase felt like duplicity- precious moments and experiences meant for someone else, forming his imposter syndrome in a some literal sense of the term- and that mindset even one thousand years later takes considerable effort to change.

The time spent with Nel in Lythos was a stolen treasure in Rafal's own words. He reflects over it in the light of nostalgia, already measuring a retreat from his rights to their bond and not fighting to justify his place in it. Their bond being something he could reciprocate and enjoy, but not anything that would last forever due to the imposter role he played. Nel's gentle nature to Rafal would surely shatter once Nel understood who he really was beneath the facade, so rather than considering their time to be just a pleasant memory, it was also an hourglass on limited time, a joy fated to run out of sand.

Rafal: "You were so gentle and giving with me. So kind. I began to think of you as my one true sister...even now, the memory of our time at Lythos Castle...is priceless to me. But that treasure is a stolen one."

Examining him from another important lens, the beauty of the world is made more obvious to Rafal in his state of post-destruction clarity. Friendships, connections, and communal experiences- all things he reduced to shambles after the actions he undertook in the name of power and Sombron's legacy. His conversation with Ivy reveals a remorseful side of him that expresses empathy for the gentler, daintier experiences that he destroyed. He's asserted as someone who not only identifies the intangible things that others treasure, but sees their value and respects it.

Ivy: "Those unexpected connections are another reason the academy is special to me."

Rafal: "The Ivy from the world I come from must have had similar experiences at her academy. When I think of all the friendships she must have forged... and the effects of my actions..."

During their support, Ivy extends to him an equivocal offer of friendship for his good deeds as 'classmates'. Rafal not only seeks to confirm if the request is what Ivy truly wants, he also exorcises his desire for their special connection out of the equation. He'll be friends- classmates- with Ivy as she wishes, but not as he himself wishes, because when acting with penitence in mind he doesn't consider himself to be in any position to make demands of others. Because in the specific context of their support Ivy's alternate self is someone who he has hurt, the first royal he turned Corrupted in his original world.

Rafal (to Ivy): "If that is your desire, then it cannot be wrong. Your wish is what began this endeavor, after all."

Comparing his response to Alfred and his extension of a bond, however, the nature is somewhat different. Though Rafal thinks of himself as undeserving of friendship and love- the aforementioned gentler and daintier things in life- I don't see that always being the case, thus why I pointed out it being on average. Bonds forged on his own feet, as Rafal and not Nil, or without the distracting anxieties of redemption, are collectively empowering as they should be. It's why Alfred is presumably an illuminating support for Rafal.

Alfred is a weakling of comparable infirmity who pushes himself to be stronger. And more importantly, Alfred once given the full mast of Rafal's sins returns a response of acceptance, eliminating that worry entirely. When given the chance to be 'brothers', Rafal then accepts his offer with only the protest that he be considered the elder brother and not the younger one between them. It shows that Rafal when weighing himself separate from his need to repent and to be emotionally abstinent can and will engage in the playful interactions that resemble normal life. He can find it in himself to chase after the kind, gentle things he used to spurn.