#x. ❛ young dumb and too good for this world. ( re: ashley. )

[micvhisms]

✿

                                            send me a symbol for…

✿  five times my muse almost texted yours, and the one time they did.

i. ashley’s text log was one of the lengthier ones. micah didn’t text a lot of the team often, outside of what was absolutely necessary. most of them didn’t want to talk to him anyway, which made it easier. but ashley was almost a friend, and he was a little biased in giving her more attention than the others. that said, it was just after two o’clock in the morning, and he didn’t even know why she was awake. he started to text her back, just to ask, but deleted the text just as quickly. if he texted her back, she would never go to sleep.

ii. up. down. up. down. unlocked. locked. unlocked. it was a stupid cycle, and he really wished he’d just make a decision already. he tapped on ashley’s chat, his eyes resting on the last text she’d sent him. it was just before the party, and excited can’t wait to see you there, with too many hearts for someone like micah. it was a cold reminder of how happy she’d been before, and how messed up she was when he last saw her. his thumbs moved across the keyboard, words quickly forming and erasing on the screen. then he backtracked, deleting it all over again. he doubted she would want to hear from him anyway.

iii. he read her text for the third time, and as the shock of it all faded, he had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. it escaped anyway, and he found himself wheezing over the message she hadn’t meant to send. it wasn’t that funny, it really wasn’t. but he hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time, and ashley would never know. in the midst of his guffaws, he forgot to text her back. oh, well.

iv. i’d explain everything if i could, but i don’t want you involved in this. and i’d rather have you hate me than get hurt because of me.

v. it’d been a few days since he’d spoken to her. to anyone, actually. he’d locked himself in his room, and more or less let himself drown in his usual bullshit. he wasn’t totally concerned. he doubted any of them really noticed or cared, and it left his mind at ease. but ashley’s last text stared him in the face, its weight heavy on his heart. he couldn’t not say anything to that, right? she deserved something. but it’d been a few days, right? after all of this time, she probably forgot. and what if she didn’t even mean it? what if she was just being nice, then he’d look so fucking stupid for thinking about it. but, christ, what did he have to lose anyway? 

deciding that it was better to say something and look stupid than say nothing at all, he ran his tongue over his lower lip, ignoring the sting. 

what he typed was: i’m fine. it’s just been a long week. i’ll talk to you later. love you, too.

+ i. what he sent was: i’m sorry. i’ll see you monday.

[micvhisms]

📱

send me a “📱” and I will answer the following.

LAST FIVE SENT TEXTS.

micah » ash not ketchum ( 10:15am ) : feel better?micah » ash not ketchum ( 12:31pm ) : i’m changing my numbermicah » ash not ketchum ( 12:33pm ) : you’d probably figure it out eventually anyway, i justmicah » ash not ketchum ( 12:35pm ) : if you need anything, and i don’t answer, that’s whymicah » ash not ketchum ( 12:38pm ) : i’ll talk to you in a few hours.

LAST FIVE UNSENT TEXTS.

micah » ash not ketchum ( unsent ) : i thought you were hurt.micah » ash not ketchum ( unsent ) : i wish i didn’t care half as much as i said i didn’tmicah » ash not ketchum ( unsent ) : yolo let’s get wastedmicah » ash not ketchum ( unsent ) : nothing is real anyway, why does it mattermicah » ash not ketchum ( unsent ) : i’m pan and in distress

LAST SNAPCHAT.

»ashley : that sounds like a terrible idea»ashley : but nothing is real anyway, so go for it  

SAVED AS.

ash not ketchum.

CONTACT PHOTO.

RINGTONE.

girl with the flaxen hair by claude debussy

CALLS THIS WEEK.

ten.

MISSED CALLS.

two.

[micvhisms]

✆✉☎⁇✿ø✘#@&%ツ$♀

send “✆” for a MORNING text. 

micah » ash not ketchum ( 06:24am ) : i’ve never woken up this early in my life, and i want to die. want donuts?

send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT. 

micah » ash not ketchum ( unsent ) : i tried so hard not to like you.

send “☎” for a RUSHED text. 

micah » ash not ketchum ( 05:21pm ) : where are you rn? stay there, i’ll pick you up

send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

micah » ash not ketchum ( 01:34am ) : havoe you ever tohought about droppnig out to be a stripepr? i’d make a pretty fucking good one.

send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text. 

micah » ash not ketchum ( 07:12pm ) : you’re gorgeous no matter what, ashley. i don’t think the color of the shirt is going to make a difference.

send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

micah » ash not ketchum ( 01:15am ) : i’ve been listening to that song for six hours, and it makes me miss the girlfriend i don’t have who’s traveling half way across the world for a business that doesn’t exit. the fuck.

send “✘” for a HATEFUL text.

micah » ash not ketchum ( 09:15pm ) : i know you’re about as smart as a piece of lint, but even you know it’s not that simple.

send “#” for a RANDOM text.

micah » ash not ketchum ( 10:32am ) : remember that time we got drunk and i convinced you to let me light my wardrobe on fire? i regret that.

send “@” for a SCARED text.

micah » ash not ketchum ( 03:14am ) : can you do me a favor?micah » ash not ketchum ( 03:16am ) : if you don’t hear anything form me by tomorrow night, can you justmicah » ash not ketchum ( 03:18am ) : call the cops.micah » ash not ketchum ( 06:14am ) : this number is no longer in service.

send “&” for a LOVING text.

micah » ash not ketchum ( 02:19pm ) : not that my opinion means shit, but i like you. it’s weird, and unplanned, and i wish i didn’t, sometimes. but you’re kind, and you don’t deserve that shit.

send “%” for a CURIOUS text.

micah » ash not ketchum ( 12:09pm ) : what does that even mean.

send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

micah » ash not ketchum ( 03:00pm ) : I HAVE A NEW CAT.micah » ash not ketchum ( 03:02pm ) : i’m naming him sir num num, and i’m leaving everything to him when i die.

send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.

micah » ash not ketchum ( 12:19pm ) : his dick wasn’t even the best one i had that day, i don’t know or care what his problem is.micah » ash not ketchum ( 12:21pm ) : wait, that wasn’t for you.

send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

micah » ash not ketchum ( 07:14am ) : i don’t know why i’m like this. why it’s so hard to be honest, or let people in. but every time i try, i get so fucking scared. and i know i’m fucked up. i’m not getting better, and maybe i won’t. sometimes, i think everyone’s right, and i’m justmicah » ash not ketchum ( 07:15am ) : shit. i don’t know. forget it.