#wwdits s4 leak

[fandom-animals]

no hate to the guide but i need nandor to be this down bad for guillermo

[dumbbitchawards]

Why am I so cynical about good omens spoilers like I didn't read the entire wwdits s4 finale synopsis leak from that russian website last year

[zer0-02]

i will never recover from this

[junkratsadstuck]

wwdits season 4 leak transcript under the cut (spoilers, obviously)

EDIT: this post is outdated!!! see more below cut

EDIT: kyrilu has located the sides for these scenes! i got a few things wrong when determining who was speaking so i encourage yall to check it out and download a copy in case it gets taken down: https://kyrilu.tumblr.com/post/682188753101553664/risking-another-takedown-notice-my-beloved

ORIGINAL POST:

encouraging you all to download the video / this transcript if you want em just in case it gets taken down for copyright!!! because i have seen stuff like this get taken down before!!!

anyways the video is here >>> https://vimeo.com/594373284

this is my best interpretation of what's going on - the only character onscreen is the Dijnn and the offscreen characters all have the same voice, so if it's not a line by the Dijnn I'm just making my best guess as to who's talking.

— Scene One — Nandor: So how does this work? How many wishes can you grant me? So is it three, or… Dijnn: Maybe more, maybe fewer. Do you wish to know? Nandor: Well yeah, or else I wouldn’t have asked, so…. Guillermo: Careful master, this is how they get you! Nandor: Shush! Yes, I wish to know how many wishes. Dijnn: Twenty-three. But you just used one, so you have twenty-two left. Nandor: I had thirty-seven wives, and one of them I specifically remember I really loved… I just can’t remember which one. Dijnn: Okay, what was her name? Nandor: Uh… I don’t remember her name, but I do remember that she had long dark hair, I think. Dijnn: Twenty-eight of them had long dark hair. Nandor: Huh. Was there a Becky? Dijnn: No. Nandor: How about a Delal? I think he had a fun handlebar mustache. Dijnn: There were three Dalals. Nandor: (To self: You kidding me?…) You know what? Just bring back all of them and we’ll figure it out. Dijnn: Is this your wish? Nandor: This is my wish. I wish for you to bring back all thirty-seven of my dead wives.

— Scene Two — Laszlo: So, are we clear on placement? Dijnn: Yes, noted, it should be in the usual place between the legs. Laszlo: Yes, and not in a separate container such as a jar or a briefcase, or on my chin. Dijnn: Writing Nor… On… Chin… . Done. Stipulated. Nadja: As far as size goes, it should not be so big as it crushes me. Dijnn: What about a mouse? Laszlo: For a penis? No, I don't think so, genie trickster. Nadja: I think he means, “Should the new member be large enough to crush a mouse?” Dijnn: That is exactly what I meant. Laszlo: Huh. A dick so big you could crush a mouse? Yes, don’t mind if I do. … Okay, read that back, please. Dijnn: No substitution of whale or other species penis. Party in possession of the new penis… Laszlo: That’s me. Dijnn: …should be able to comfortably perform physical activities such as walking, running, skipping, crossing legs, et cetera. Should not require purchase of new clothes… Are you sure about that one? Laszlo: Why do you ask? Dijnn: Ninety percent of my business is penis enlargements. Laszlo: That many? Really? Dijnn: Yup. And our clients do NOT mind buying new clothes. Laszlo: Alright. Fine, strike it out. Dijnn: Very well. It has been struck Nadja: Darling, I hate to interrupt your business, but I know that you wish to see Richie Suck at the club? Laszlo: Almost done, my morning star. Dijnn: Richie Suck the rap artist? My cousin granted him wishes to get five mics in the source. Huh, small world. Okay, you guys wanted to circle back about concerns about the balls?

— Scene Three — Dijnn: Okay master, your wish is… Guillermo: Hey, whoa, wait. You can’t give him the world’s largest penis by making everyone else’s penis smaller. Nandor: Oh wow. Very good catch, Guillermo. Dijnn: Shit. Well done, familiar. I was moments away from giving all the men in the world besides Nandor a micro-wang. Nandor: Why would you do such a thing? Dijnn: It’s part of the job, I guess. Y’know, I teach lessons in desire, greed, et cetera… by fucking with the wishes from these so-called masters, but you two bested me. Familiar’s got a shrewd and incisive mind for penis stuff. Nandor: Thank you, Guillermo. I appreciate your help and every time I use my new big dick I will think of all… and all you have done for me. Dijnn: Indeed. So is this your wish? Nandor: This is my wish. Dijnn: Wish granted. Magical hand gesture Nandor: Holy shit! That’ll do, pig! Guillermo, come look at this unit! Dijnn: It’s only about twenty percent bigger than what you already had. Guillermo?: No kidding. I’ll be damned. Dijnn: I’m surprised you wanted more, but yeah, it turned out really beautiful if I do say so myself.

[cordeliavenable]

for anyone still questioning whether or not Freddie = pretzel guy, I have some evidence for you:

[seraph5]

*mentions of wwdits unverified S4 leaks ahead*

I wrote an outline for a fic about how I think season 4 will end. Pls enjoy:

The whole fic is Guillermo agonizing over the new woman in Nandor's life and trying to accept her and trying to accept that they're going to be together. Then they announce that they are going to get married and Guillermo decides that he doesn't want to be a vampire/stay at the house anymore. But when he goes to tell Nandor, Nandor is like I'm so happy and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you and therefore as a thank you on the night I'm going to get married I'll turn you into a vampire because afterwards I'll have my lovely wife to do all these things for me.

Guillermo says thank you and bites his tongue and tries to be happy about it finally happening. When he looks at himself in the mirror he tries to see himself the way he saw himself when he started but being a vampire is not at all what he thought. On the night of the wedding he gets Nandor ready feeling sick to his stomach, trying to convince himself that it's just nerves. He opens his mouth to say something to Nandor and then his bride to be sweeps in. And he sees them together and in an instant knows how his eternity will play out. Nandor will get married. He and his wife will live with Nadja and Laszlo and they will all be deliriously happy with each other and he and Collin Robinson will stand on the outside looking in. Except what will nourish Collin will empty Guillermo till there is nothing left of him.

Nandor leans in to bite him and Guillermo feels like he's going to be sick with the desperate desire to have Nandor claim him in the way he's been dreaming of long before he even loved him.

Almost reactively Guillermo shouts no, shoves Nandor away and storms out. Nandor is like "Guillermo!?" In his standard winey voice and follows after him leaving his bride to be "where are you going? Guillermo!!" And Guillermo is storming out of the house and Nandor shouts from the top step this time he more serious tone "Guillermo! Where are you going? The wedding is about to start" "I can't do it! I can't have you turn me and then go to your wedding and spend an eternal life with all of you -"

"Why?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU" Guillermo snarls angry heartbroken tears breaking free

"Well that is not new many familiars have loved-" Nandor begins but Guillermo cuts him off taking one step back toward him.

"I-am-in-love…with you" Guillermo says slowly and deliberately delivering every word like his wishes it was a punch "though GOD" Nandor hisses in discomfort "knows why. You're so selfish and arrogant and don't care about me at all"

"That's not true" Nandor's voice hangs onto his pouty affect and Guillermo grimaces before turning away.

"I can't believe I wasted 13 years of my life on you"

"Your mini Fridge-"

"Keep it!" Guillermo is already down the street.

***

Anyway there's my best guess about the end of season XD I won't be writing the thing I'm still writing the star trek fic I foolishly teased.

[scholarofgolb]

even after the episode airs we should keep calling him [REDACTED]. just for fun.

[starlightmesss]

do I fully believe this leak? absolutely not. could be real, but we have no actual proof

am I still going insane over it at 3 in the morning and won’t be thinking about anything else until s4 comes out? damn right

[anxietycheesecake]

I know it's weird coming from the CEO of Freddie doesn't eat ass, but given recent events, I hope Freddie is the most boring guy in the world and Guillermo explicitly states they have the best intimate life ever. You don't need to give my girlboss all of the gay rights but you can definitely give him some.

[electric-rabbits]

If the leaks are true and Guillermo gets a bf and I see one. One person. Calling it queer bait because he's not with Nandor I will commit atrocities never before seen

[beescream]

OK not to go full conspiracy theorist about the s4 leak but like. weird that guillermo is dating someone who is really into history. and has access to historical artifacts.

I'm just saying. what if he's fake dating that guy to get info about where something of nandor's is? we could get a REALLY good arc out of that. guillermo and nandor like "we gotta get the info outta this guy somehow" but oops he's immune to hypnosis somehow and so they can't force him. cue nandor asking guillermo to get the info once he fails. guillermo is like uh, okay? so he spends some time w the guy trying to get him to talk about it but no dice. and then the dudes like I'm so glad I met you guillermo, you're so nice and interested in what I have to say and you're so funny and smart 💗 and cute, too~

guillermo: oh shit

nandor: PERFECT. he'll tell you in no time

so they start dating for real and nandor IMMEDIATELY starts feeling weird about it. guillermo was gone before but that was different, he was going bc nandor asked him to. now he's going on DATES. ugh. but he was the one who pushed for it so he's stuck.

cue nandor pretending he's fine actually!!! in front of guillermo and the others and being The Saddest Little Warlord the rest of the time. but guillermo is like tch I'm only doing it for the MISSION.

ofc.. the dude IS really nice.. and the dates have been so fun.. and it's been a while since he's felt this kind of connection with someone.. uh oh.

[isuckatbeinghappyallthetime]

who tf is freddie and why is he dating memo someone please explain to me what happened

[famitendo]

I can’t even put into words how much these leaks are making me lose my mind like........what is happening.........where am i..........huh.....................

[hyperfixationspam]

i couldnt find the new leaks and i realized its cuz i have the op blocked lmao so this is for my own reference

https://vimeo.com/596916716

https://vimeo.com/626838813

[cordeliavenable]

UMMMMM does this mean I was right about Al being pretzel guy????? AND pretzel guy might be FREDDIE??

[nonunsnonunsnone]

If I had a nickel for every show that had a leak where the main character gets a new love interest in season four but the season isn’t out yet I’d have two nickels which is not a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice