#wukong: oh no i have to be a responsible adult again

[newkatzkafe2023]

@lara-legomonkiekid

💜:I Just remembered An Ask about baby Monkey King!

What if Y/N Monkey was the One Who turned into a baby?

OH how the tables have turned😈😈😈😈

(Lmk Wukong) Is this Karma or something, did everything he did to upset you bought forth this horrible punishment??? He spill yet another unknown Elixir in his messy treasure room and now your the baby this time!!!! You must have been angry with him because not only were you so adorable bit horrifically troublesome. As a cub you Were a tiny tyrant to everybody on the mountain, especially to him. Wukong was a bit fearful of your cub form as you seem to have a unpredictable and violet temper, which looks kinda familiar. When you turned back wukong was relieved because you were Terrifying cub and the baby monkeys agreed.

(HIB Wukong) Oh man, he's gonna panic, but he tries to stay calm mostly. You were turned into a baby by another demon, and he was pissed. After beating the crap out of the other demon, he learns that it's temporary and that you will be back to normal in no time. What he didn't expect was for you to have such a rebellious phase, Silly girl behaves better than you, and she's a human baby. You as a baby monkey, would cause all kinds of trouble, and you would pick on both him and pigsy. You as a cub were a living nightmare, Thank god you finally turned back at the end of the day, he didn't know how long much he could take.

(MKR Wukong) This is a scary situation, but not for him. You saved him from a demon that tried to turn him into a baby, but you covered him, and now you are a baby monkey cub. Wukong learned that this was temporary, and you were quite a little angel 😇 to Wukong. Making sure to behave and obey him with great honor and responsibility, not to mention you were so cute, but behind Wukong's back, were you the f*cking devil to the monk and pigsy You had no interest in sandy and acted quite indifferent towards him, figuring him to be incredibly boring, but you were hell on earth when it came to the monk and pigsy. You got payback on the monk for all the times he zapped your husband and being an ungrateful ass to both of you, and pigsy well You made that grown man cry with your harsh words and treatment cutting into him every second of every day. At the end, we turned back to normal, and everybody was relieved until pigsy and the monk noticed your evil smile, the same one you had as a cub. It was done that pigsy and master tang pale as you were aware of what you were doing that whole time😈😈😈.

(NR Wukong) Another Exlier incident, you thought it was a drink And the next thing you both knew you were a baby monkey again. Luckily Wukong knew that the exlier will wear off in a few hours, in the mean time he would look after you until you go back to being an adult. You were a really shy cub which surprised him, you would be quiet and reserved and you be a bit nervous with him. Wukong was careful not to make sudden movements our you in fear of scarying your cub self, but you already sense that he wasn't a threat to you and are found hugging and cuddling him. When you finally turned back, Wukong told you about how well behave you are and found you to be adorable.

(Netflix Wukong) How are you a cub, but your still more responsible then him. This idoit was playing in a place that he was obviously banned from, and you Argued with him about it but he broke something and now your a baby. Man were you pissed, you hissed, and growled, and gave in an ass whooping like he was the child. You demanded that he found a cure for us our he'll continue to feel your wrath, but Netflix didn't take you all to seriously with your chubby face and body. Until you grabbed his staff and wacked him over the head, Reminding him of his idiocy , and he quickly found a cure turning you back into an adult. Your still a bit upset with him but you made sure to kiss the boos boos you gave him.

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG👼

[bones4thecats]

Hello (again lol) Can I request Ne Zha x fem pregnant reader please? :3 ✨

Ne Zha's Fem! S/O Being Pregnant

Character: Ne Zha Requester: @bellatrix2901 A/N: While many say that Ne Zha is a minor (specifically around 12), he is a deity, meaning he has lived for thousands of years. He is portrayed as an older adult/teenager, so we're going off of his canonical age and his status as immortal, yet-youthful looking man. ⚠️ Spoilers/Trigger Warnings for: NONE ⚠️

••●••●••●••●••●••●••●••●••●••●••●••●••●••●••●••●••●••●••●•

»»————————————-　 Ne Zha 　————————————-««

🪷 The sound of a pair of geta sandals hitting the ground over and over echoed in the building. And with the sound of rushing water, many would believe this to be a calm environment, oh how wrong were they

🪷 Pacing around you and Ne Zha's shared halls, a nervous whisper rummaged throughout your head; did Ne Zha want a child?

🪷 Eventually, you ran into one of your oldest servants, whom looked at you and laid a hand gently on your shoulder, making you turn to look at her. Small tears were threatening to fall from your eyes, and the elderly woman smiled and offered her arms for you to cry into

"Masashi..." you began, "do you think Ne Zha would even- you know- want a child around the house? I mean, he's a deity with a lot of responsibilities, would a kid and pregnant wife be too much?"

🪷 Masahi looked into your eyes with her narrowing blue ones and chuckled, a slightly hoarse voice coming out as she spoke

"Lord Ne Zha would never see you or your child as a burden. He loves you more than anyone else I have seen. And I've been breathing for 68 years. Take that for experience."

🪷 You smiled and nodded at the woman you saw as a Grandmother. Her smile always lit up a room, despite her constant battle with illnesses, she never stopped working, despite your pleas. She was a fighter and was very observant, so hearing this made you settle slightly

🪷 In the next couple weeks, Masashi readied you for when Ne Zha came home. It had been 14 weeks, and your baby bump was slightly showing through your long pink and blue dress. And while you were slightly nervous, the presence of Masashi calmed you

🪷 Here goes nothing.

»–•–«

"Would you like anything to feast on, my Lord and Lady?"

🪷 Looking up and smiling at the well-dressed man, you asked for a mooncake with soy sauce. Which while the servant found it normal and didn't react, Ne Zha looked at you in surprise and confusion. A mooncake with soy sauce?

"I'll just take a cup of sakura tea."

"Alrighty then. Your mooncake and teas will be out here momentarily, my Lord and Lady."

🪷 You smiled and looked back at your husband, who sighed and interlocked your fingers with his. You could tell he was tired and in desperate need of a nap or at least a happy story

🪷 Mustering up your courage, you thanked the servants who brought your food and tea before clearing your throat and saying the deity's name. His eye's sight connected with yours and he hummed, a signal for you to speak

"Do you remember those young deities who ran around the fields with large amounts of sakura flowers in their hands, just throwing them around and smiling like- well, children?" You asked.

"Yes. I remember them like it was yesterday. Holding a freshly fallen basket of the petals, I have to admit, it was quite endearing seeing them playing and being the children they are."

🪷 You smiled once again and chuckle at his eyes widening slightly as he spoke, he may not show it often, but he was truly a sweetheart. Despite what many like Sun Wukong said

🪷 Laying your teacup down on the saucer and onto the tabletop, you adjusted your position before mumbling a slight 'screw it' and walking to sit beside your husband, making him cock an eyebrow and summon a pillow for you to sit on again

🪷 Reaching out to hold his hands, Ne Zha looked at you in confusion and slight shock once more. What were you doing? And why were you holding his hands to your stomach?

🪷 Wait... is that a slight bump...? It cannot be...

"Y/N are you..."

"Pregnant? Yes. And don't worry, it's not Wukong's. I think I'd die with his hell-spawn in me."

🪷 Ne Zha stared at you in shock before you noticed his eyes watering over and begin to spill tears. The smile that covered his face made you smile yourself

🪷 Wrapping his arms around you tightly, Ne Zha began to sniffle and choke on his happy cries. He was going to be a father! Why would he ever be mad?

[weaverpop]

Aaaayyyeee 👉😎👉

Guess who's back to hurt your feelings again!~ (and mine I take just as much emotional and physical damage writing this all out)

You know what mk has been struggling with long before the identity issues

Self-esteem!

He has always questioned his worthiness to being swk's successor, constantly worried if he's good enough or if he's doing enough. And that's just the whole successor stick

Imagine how much worse it is with his relationships.

Id wadger he used too(and might still to some extent) question why Mei loved hanging around him. She was this super cool, smart, charming, gorgeous biker/gamer/streamer chick from an incredibly wealthy family. didn't help that ppl around them her family included also openly questioned there relationship. It took years of trust and emotional bonding plus plenty of reassurance from Mei before mk felt completely comfortable and secure with her.

And now he has nezha, the third lotus prince, a highly skilled warrior, incredibly talented and intelligent; graceful and beautiful in damn near everything he did.

Mk can't help but look at himself, the clumsy, immature awkward fanboy, that struggles with basic adulting. literal natural disaster being associated with chaos and disorder. He can't help but compare himself to the dozens of other men that chat nezha up in the clubs. sometimes that nagging voice that picks away at his self-esteem really do be loud, almost as if the ink scroll curse managed to follow him out

"he deserves a lot better then you"

YOU

You DARE return to bring pain?!

…

Excellent

But damn did ya have to cook?! 😭 Poor Mk can’t catch a break!

It really does make sense that this would be the case. Especially with how rocky his and Wukongs relationship first was in the first two seasons, it stands to reason he would struggle with the idea that Wukong may have chosen wrong.

Because of this, Mk might start to overdo his whole hero thing, with even minor tasks he makes a huge effort into. If anyone has any problem he does his damnedst to fix it. He’s the hero afterall. It’s Something that would slowly turn into a Savior complex, where everything is his responsibility as the hero. He was made for sacrifice, and if he couldn’t do that at the pillars? He’ll do it in service.

I imagine his fears would inevitably bleed into his other relationships as well. Constantly hovering and fretting, mother hemming to the point of irritation, and just generally being… a lot. It gets worse when he and Nezha start dating.

Because sure, it’s starts out small and cute. Opening a door, carrying Nezha’s bags, running a bath, etc etc. But it would slowly devolve into Mk basically doing everything for Nezha.

Nezha wanted some strawberries at 8 pm? Suprise! Nezha looked at a pair of platform sneakers for a minute longer than normal? Oh they were on sale!

Oh let Mk cook dinner, he grew up with a chef, it’ll be the best thing ever!

Your feet hurt? Here let me give you a foot rub.

You don’t need to carry your purse he’s got it. He’ll carry you so you don’t have to get your feet wet after it rained! Don’t worry he’ll pay for the tickets!

Nezha doesn’t even know that it’s happening at first. He’s never dated anyone, so surely this must be normal?

It’s not, and the others quickly step in once they realize what’s happening. Mk gets therapy for a WHILE again, and while Nezha did enjoy some of the sweet gestures, it did make him realize that he had started develop a sort of dependency on it. Remember, Nezha and Jing are still repairing their relationship, and Nezha was taking affection wherever he could.

Things get better, boundaries are set, and life goes on. But mk still struggles, and likely always will. He wakes at night, scared out of his mind. Nezha often comforts him and reassures him that the prince doesn’t want anyone else, only him.

Angst!!!

[popculturebuffet]

It's Not The Years It's the Mileage: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (Comissioned by WeirdKev27)

Welcome back folks to "It's Not the Years, It's the Mileage", my long look at the Indiana Jones Franchise. And we've come, a bit belatedly thanks to my recent move throwing my schedule out of wack, to our penultimate chapter, what was until just a week ago the final film in the franchise.. and the one most fans like to ignore when their not shaking their fists at it..

So going into this one was a bit loaded to say the least. I thankfully still had mostly fresh eyes: i remembered this one a bit better thanks to having seen it theatrically with my dad and his friend Don, a really neat guy who really loved star wars and who we also saw the Star Wars Prequels with. As a teen.. I thought it was eh, but I also wasn't that invested in the franchise. So the question is as an adult who now genuinely loves this franchise after two great movies and a mess so far, how will Crystal Skull hit me now? The answer, as always is under the cut.

Saucer Men from Mars

Naturally Indy's 4 starts in the 90's. Last Crusade really felt like the end of the road: The Indy films were now a trilogy, Speilberg wanted to move on, and while Harrison Ford wasn't convinced that more coudln't happen, he also saw the writing on the wall. George Lucas though WANTED to keep it going and during the early 90's tried to convince both men to do a film: Indiana Jones and the Saucer Men from Mars

You know I thought Indiana Jones and the Monkey King was going to be the most bonkers draft to a potetial indy film I heard of on this journey. Given it involved human chess, cyborg nazis, and Sun Wukong, I had every reason to. But friends thanks to this article at den of geek , I can tell you.. saucer men is somehow WEIRDER.

So the film follows Indy as he tries to marry someone we just meet, has a wedding with every prevoius supporting character present including both of his exes, gets left at the alter , and then has drinks with Marion and Willie. Oh and it turns out his bride to be was called away to investigate A FLYING SAUCER.

Yeah... the film has Indy having to solve an ancient puzzle before invading aliens torch the earth. Oh and he also has to deal with cold war paranoia, the russians, and DEATH RAYS THAT MELT PLANES OUT OF THE SKY. Did.. did professor farnsworth write this? It also all apparently takes place in one small town which fits the astethic Lucas was going for but REALLY dosen't fit indy at all. indy is about globetrotting.. this is just

Also Indy gets abducted in a drive in. Yeah this film really sounds more like an invasion film that Lucas just plopped indy into than an actual indy film.

SHOCKINGLY Speilberg wanted nothing to do with this: After doing Schinlders List he decided he was done with Blockbusters for a while, only returning to them for Minority Report and ironically, War of the Worlds, but both had a thinky sci fi undercurrent where as this is just stuff blowing up. As for harrison ford

So Lucas instead focused on the star wars prequels, and the matter was tabled for a while, though he kept having the film rewrote each time, piece by piece replacing itself. Eventually Speilberg and Ford wer ein just the right position Lucas needed...

And the film shockingly went off without a ton of hitches despite a near endless script cycle. a few cast subtstitions, some extra cgi and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull happened pretty easily.

And this might come as a shock given it's modern presentation, it certainly did to me.. but the film was WELL recevied at the time. Many a critic, including Roger Ebert, loved it, and it made money hand over fist. Fan response at it's most vitrolic was a resounding..

Not liking the hoakiness but not really getting the hate the star wars prequels got till later.

So the question is where do I fall in this debate? Is it okay or a true disaster? One that salted the earth so the franchise would never grow again?

Yeah honestly Crystal Skull is just.. mediocre. It's not OFFENSIVELY bad, but it feels like two legends half assing it. So because of this film being uniquely half assed and having such a rep, i'm going to break it down into diffrent parts than usual: The three biggest complaints people have with the film, Then what I thought about it beyond those. Of Ancient Aliens, Nuked Fridges and Mutt Williams: So yeah when you tend to hear complaints about the film, the three things that get brought up the most are the nuking of the fridge, using aliens, and Mutt Williams. So i'm going to go ahead and get out front of these. Nuking the Fridge: For those not as familiar, which I suspect is almost none of you but humor me, early in the film while fighting the russians, Indy accidently ends up in a nuclear test site and hides in a lead lined fridge to survivied, getting blown clean. He should be dead but isn't. And I... love this sequence. Is indy surviving this implausable? Entirely. Should he have been blown clear for this to at all work? Fuck no. But is it a beautifully shot, tense and fun sequence? Absolutely. The reveal of the manequins got me as a teen and as an adult, knowing the town was fake, I spoted how .. artifical it looked and loved the suspense as I waited for Indy to find out and even knowing how he'd survive this, the tension is awesome. IT's a classic indy ploy. And look this is a series where Shiva killed one antagonist and the Judeo Christian god killed the rest and let a knight live forever. It's okay to have a small bit of bollocks and frankly Indy's survived stuff that should kill him anyway, this is just the first time it was made painfully obvious he's indy-structable. I get not liking it, it is over the top.. but I fucking love it. The Aliens are more of a mixed bag. Now the alien itself we see.. is awesome: the way it arrives by having the skulls assembled with it slowly shifting into the statues, it's intimidating apperance, and the way it fries the big bad's brain in the same way she tortured Indy earlier, a look of contempt on it's face as if to say "You wanted our knowledge CHOKE ON IT". I also really don't have an issue WITH aliens being involved. Is it a tad more sci fi than fantasy? Yup. But honestly pulp adventure is the kind of genre you can take anywhere. While Scrooge McDuck mostly found lost cities he did visit the moon, aliens, and fantasy creatures, and Lucas made the right call in having the aliens be extra dimensional instead: instead of a ship it's more of a teleporter. It being aliens in itself isn't the problem The problem.. is the execution. Looking back on previous indy macguffins and forward to Archemedies Dial, each one has a reason why it exists: The Arc was made to hold the commandments and has the power of god because it's construction was ordained by him and it was hidden because no one should have this power. THe stones were in a place of worship before being pilfiried, fitting for a dieties power. And the grail was hidden because it could ONLY be used in that spot, similar to how in the arthurian stories, which I looked up, the grail had to be kept near the fisher king to heal his father. Here the aliens skulls are spread world wide, beam information into people, and summon the aliens themselves because...

I don't need to know WHY the arc can melt nazis or the stones can shoot lightning, but I need to know WHY the crystal skulls are what they are. You could say "to get the temple back".. but then WHY did they leave it there? Why were they worshipped? I'm fine with going with the flow and filling in the cracks myself if the storys good enough.. but the mystery here just isn't. Lucas and Speilberg REALLY coast on the idea "aliens isn't that neat", without building up the intrigue from before. The exposition here is just boring. It's just indy talking, saying really nothing, instead of building up a compelling mystery as to WHY these things are here and what the skulls ultimately mean. IT's the films fatal flaw: I often don't care about this adventure beyond Indy and his family... because the story dosen't seem to care. It's scattered around the world because "Well that's what these pictures do" instead of for intresting and well thoguht out reasons. If you want a globetrotting adventure.. you have to have a reason to trot the globe otherwise you just make me wish for the next set peice and that's NOT what these films should be. The non set peice stuff is there to build character, build the mystery and give us a second to calm down. It's just.. boring. Even temple for all it's issue iwth it's downtime scenes, didn't make me wish to turn the film off.

Finally we have Mutt who again is a mixed bag... but mostly a good one. For the first half of the film.. Mutt is actually a great character. He's a greaser sure, and the fact he says Daddy-O later physically hurts, but he's also shown as a troubled kid who has daddy issues, runs away from his problems and is passionate about what he does. He's indy himself, years younger, simply lacking his passion for discovery, somethign Mutt finds along the way allegedlys. And look.. as a person Shia Lebouf sucks. He truly sucks and he's an absuive monster. But I have to admit through gritted teeth he's a good actor, with Transformers being more bad direction and a script that called for him to SCREAM LOUDLY AT THINGS HAPPENING.. ALL THE THINGS ALL THE SCREAMING. He was a good choice for the part and plays off ford well. Sure the Tarzan thing was stupid, and Shia LeBouf was RIGHT to call it stupid no matter what Speilberg thought. No really Stephen took it personally and said "There's a time to speak and there's a time to shut up and eat"

Dude, oscar award winning film changing dude... sometimes ... it's okay to say something in a film you were in was bad TWO YEARS after it came out. Because it was. You admitted Temple of Doom was bad and should feel bad. How did this bother you?

Mutt isn't a terrible character the issue is more the film.. forgets to really finish his arc. He's mad at indy when he finds out even though he really.. shoudln't be? Indy had no idea he existed? , but this.. never gets resolved. He just accepts it because the movies over, picks up his hat and thankfully never puts it on. Mutt COULD have worked.. but the film just forgets to give a shit about him once his mom shows up and aliens are a comin. He's sadly wasted potetial and luckily the next film finds a way to make up for it with a whole new sidekick reminding indy of his past mistakes. Speaking of character

A Weakness of Character

In my Temple of Doom review I pointed out how it's lack of character arc was one of it's biggest weaknesses: By resetting indy to where he was before raiders, there was no where to really take him. Crystal Skull has the oppositie problem: Now set a few decades later, with an older Indy in a world he dosen't understand the film keeps him ... largely the same. We get some intresting seeds of a man out of time early on: The Goverment, originally indy's steadfast allies, are now in full red scare mode and instantly question Indy for simply having been friends with a traitor to the soviets without considering Indy didn't know, nearly costing him is job. He served in the army, worked hard, did all the things he thought were right.. and now he's getting spat on for stuff not his fault. So what does the film do with this?

Yeah after our hero leaves on his quest with Mutt and gets trailed by the KGB.. NOTHING comes of this. It has no impact on the plot. And that's the real issue... the movie brings up intresting character arcs for Indy and dosen't pay them off in any meaningful way. We get the knowledge he left Marion at the alter and has commitment issues.. and he uh marries her at the end and their married all the way to dial of destiny. That's it. He clamps down hard on wanting Mutt to go back to college and trying to be a dad.. and er.. he's a dad now I guess? The film starts up intresting ideas but can't finish a goddamn one. IT's what holds the film back: it STARTS really strong but then falls apart. Marion at least is awesome as ever and bringing her back was a top notch choice. Karen Allen is as good as ever, and feels like she's still fleshing Marion out and she plays off Indy and Mutt perfectly. My only regret is she really.. dosen't have much to do in the plot. She's held hostage, gets free, teams up with the rest of the heroes and.. really dosen't add anything. It's a far fall from last time. And that's the REAL problem with the crystal skull. Don't get me wrong, I get why the big three issues I tackled are such a big deal... but this is the subtle death that kills the film. Lucas and Speilberg and writer David Koepp, who wrote freaking Spider-Man and thus should knwo better, just didn't care to finish anything.

It's more apparent in the villians. Kate Blanchett is an awesome actress, as much as I didn't like Tar she does a phenominal job there and was amazing fun as Hela in Thor Ragnarok, but all she's given to be as Irina Spalko is a very sterotpical cold war russian bad guy. There's not substance to her and unlike with Toht there isn't any.. cold looming menace. It was much more personal with the Nazis and I fully respect Speilberg, after portraying them at their deadliest seriousness in schindlers list, for not using them again. This is personal to him for damn obvious reasons. But it was shown with Molla Ram he could make an intimdating villian outside the nazis. Here it's just a cartoon caracture. Irinia comes off like a bad 60's era iron man villian wanting to CRUSH AMERICA AND THE CAPTALISTS instead of the very real dread of a nation ran by dogma and under an unflinching uncaring leader, the stuff we deal with NOW with Russia as they continue to invade an inncoent country.

There's also Mac, Indy's friend who just loves money... and that's it. That's his character. He loves money and sold out to the reds to get it. He's a complete waste of breath and space and should've died int he prologue. I do not care fo rhim. There's also Ox. While John Rhys Davies tries his best... he's just diet Henry Sr. And that's not hyperbole: they wanted him to replace connery, he refused so we're just given this guy we're told is important who mostly goes around half brain dead till he gets his mind back at the end. Crystal Skull.. just has weak character. There was no care or depth put in. Even Thot as horrbile as he is had the thought of being a simple for just how purely monsterous the Nazi's were. Ther'es juts NOTHING here and it makes the film a slog. If your not going to finish any arc or give me a bad guy to actually want see taken down, why do I care?

Odds and Ends: So yeah ONCE AGAIN an Indy film does a racisim. You'd think after last Crusade reduced it to Sallah, who I begrudgingly accept at this point, they WOULDN'T go back to this well. You'd think 19 years later and after they already turned down one idea for the third Indy film for being too racist they wouldn't instead...

Yeah there's a weird martial arts cult of indegnious peoples depicted as savages. So .. THAT happened and i'm less lenient. Again they had 19 YEARS to learn this shit wasn't okay. Granted anyone familiar with episode 1 can tell Lucas really had learned nothing. But given Speilberg had done MULTIPLE films heavily tackling prejudice, slavery, and genocide at this point, you'd THINK he'd know better. YOU'D THINK. YOU'D. THINK. It's not as in your face as Temple but it's still very much beneath them. I have nothing but contempt for this choice and for them going with it and learning NOTHING about being culturally senstive after 19 years.

There's also a lot of CGI in this film. It wasn't intended and the practical effects, as before are good.. but the CGI here has aged like mayo topped with a fresh egg and dumped on the sidewalk and left in the hot unforgiving sun for 19 years. The Jungle Chase is paticuarlly bad: while they coudln't find a clear cut jungle to use, they'd of been better off.. doing somethign else. The actual stuntwork is good.

The Motorcycle Set piece is great and should feel great. And overall the goofy tone of the film is one I don't mind: I don't mind it being ab it more over the top outside of it's racist bullshit, and it's more over the top moments remind me of the good in temple of doom and help catapult me out of the dry rest of the film.

So overall.. Crystal Skull.. is

It has the potetial to be a good film, but dosen't care to actually use it. It's not a GOOD film.. but it's also just not bad enough for me to truly hate it. The good parts help keep it above that as does Karen Allen. It's a bad indiana jones film and a very bleh adventure film.. but it's just not this "RUINED THE FRANCHISE FOREVER" .. thing people desribe it as. If it was to you, I totally get it and could see that, but for me it's just a mediocre disapointing sequel. I've had plenty of those and plenty of worse disapointments sequel wise. Maybe the fact we got a much better one makes it impossible for me to really care. I deeply love indy now, I love this franchise and this is a bloch.. but it dosen't erase the two great films before this or the highs temple had amid the extreme lows. And with the power of time and nostalgia.. it didn't stop someone else from taking one last crack at it. Next Time: We put this retrospective in a box to be examined by Top Men as I look at the final Indiana Jones film, which is still in theaters: Dial of Destiny. Is it good, bad, mediocre? find out with me next time.

[skellebonez]

Did someone order a fluff? *tosses at you the idea of MK doing some really stupidly dangerous thing ("jumping through a waterfall on a dare" levels), "bragging" about it to Wukong and Wukong doing the parental move of "if you behave like a dumb baby you stay with the babies" and... plopping him to babisit/be babysitted by the young monkeys while he roots around for a couple of bandaid rolls*

Took a few liberties with the wording. This takes place sometime between episode 4 (when I think he maybe started training MK properly) and episode 6. Also I'm glad the first prompt I had lined up was gen fluff.

Wukong had only been doing this proper training thing for about a month but already he was beginning to understand exactly what his master Tripitaka felt every time he pulled a stupid stunt on their journey all those years ago. Understand the feeling of knowing that, yes, the person causing these feelings was perfectly ok and logically they weren't in any danger anymore but you still think "you could have died never give me another heart attack again".

The only difference was that Sun Wukong was immortal and almost completely invincible. MK, his sucessor and student, despite being tougher than any normal human was most decidedly neither of those things. At least not anymore on the second factor.

Lucky for MK, Wukong also had more of a sense of humor listening to the stories secondhand.

"So, wait," Wukong said, trying to hold back his laughter. Anyone who didn't know him well, which was most people, would not pick up on the fact half of the laughter was honest and the other half was of the nervous and disbelieving variety. "You-you were dared by Mei to see if you could pogo from the city to here in only one jump between... and that's how this happened?"

"Yep!" MK said with full confidence, puffing out his chest and trying to look like he wasn't in massive amounts of pain. "And I did it!"

And oh boy did he do it. He has the sand landing induced burns and scrapes and forming bruises along his face and arms and stomach to prove it. And what may be the start of the smallest and most inconsequential black eye Wukong had ever seen.

"Did you bet anything?" Wukong asked, laughter toning down into snickers.

"Only my pride!"

That was the last thing that Wukong could hear before his laughter came back in full force, full body curled up as his tail held him in the air and holding his sides as the laughter hurt his ribs.

"It's not that funny..."

"Oh! Oh it is not!" Wukong breathed out shakily, sighing with a wide smile as he landed back on his feet, then frowning deeply when he could breathe normally. "Bud, if you weren't the Monkie Kid and extra tough and you hadn't tried to stop yourself by holding the midde of the staff you would be dead."

"Oh..." MK whispered, the full weight of exactly what he had done slowly starting to dawn on him. "I just... you did all kinds of stuff like this! You jumped into a waterfall because your monkey friends said they'd make the one to do it king!" He tried to defend himself, pointing an accusing finger at Wukong.

"Yeah," Wukong admitted, now realizing he was going to maaaabey have to work on getting MK to not try to emulate his personal hero quite so much... in the future. That was a future Wukong problem. "But I was also as close to a baby as I ever was and every dumb thing I did after that was after I was literally so immortal nothing could kill me. And since you pulled a "Wukong when he was a dumb baby" as a grown adult-" Wukong grabbed MK around the waist with his tail, gently despite the yelp of surprise and pain he got in return (definitely some bruised ribs, gonna probably have to fly him to the hospital for those), and turned to walk him over to the gathering of monkeys that had been watching their exchange and carefully place him down on the pile of leaves they were making in front of a bolder long beforehand. "You get to babysit the actual babies that I was going to watch with my monkeys while I go get the first aid kit."

"But I-!" MK started, looking like he was trying to seem offended but couldn't, instead deflating after a moment and just looking dissapointed in himself. "... I'm sorry..."

"I know," Wukong sighed, awkward smile on his face as he reached out to ruffle MK's hair (gentler than he normally would have... granted he had only done it a couple times so he didn't know what normal was yet). "And I'm not mad or saying you're dumb, you're not and don't even think for a second I think you are. You're smart. You just made a bad decision, bud. It's ok. Happens to the best of us. You're gonna be fine and that's the important part! Just... try to stop acting like me at my worst, ok?"

"OK," MK finally smiled again, letting out an oof of pain when one of the smallest and youngest monkeys jumped into his lap to investigate him.

Wukong couldn't help but let his smile soften into something more natural at the sight. He was glad his monkeys were taking such a quick liking to his student, since they hadn't really been around many other people before. "Just sit tight for a couple minutes." He turned to one of the eldest monkeys in the group, speaking under his breath. "Make sure he stays there, I don't want his injuries getting worse if he tries to move around."

The monkey nodded and jumped into the bolder behind MK to begin grooming through his hair.

"UH-"

"Best not to move, bud, they don't like being stopped once they start!" Wukong laughed, riding his cloud off in the direction of his house.

Maybe it was high time he started to incrementally reintroduce his invinciblity. Didn't want to smash him into the ground or have a mountain fall on him and end up in worse shape after all...

[fosermi]

Okay so @winterpower98 wanted some fluff.

So in giving you guardian macaque wholesome young shadowpeach (friendship because they're still kids right now!)

So here it is!

.=.

On top of a mountain, stood a rock, a magical rock that formed an embryo by absorbing the essence of the heavens and earth. An embryo that turned into a golden monkey that would soon lead countless adventures and mishaps wherever he goes. This monkey was named “Sun Wukong”

Hidden at the base of a valley near a peaceful village, lay a log, a magical log that formed an embryo by absorbing the essence of the shadows and light. An embryo that turned into a black monkey that would soon be known as an antagonist to Sun Wukong’s adventures. This monkey was named “Liu Er MiHou”

Living two separate lives, in separate worlds. One as a beloved king, the other nothing but street scum. 

"Hey come back here!! Thief!!" Called out an enraged man on the chase after a small hooded figure. The figure in question  continued to run. He ran and ran until he reached the outskirts of the village where he lost the man. 

The figure slowed in his pace as he looked around, chest rising and falling idly from exhaustion. rapidly. Quickly, the figure darted towards one of the boulders that lay around the village as a sort of border marker. He sat down behind one of the boulders and proceeded to unveil himself, mid-length dark hair, red face markings and 6 colorful ears. He looked around for a while before he pulled out a small plum, a plum he stole to feed himself. 

It was rather hard trying to find proper food around these parts. Not even the local monkey population would come down from the mountains to find food in the village. There was plenty of food in the mountains, he knew that. But each food source would be guarded by a monkey tribe. 

Oh if only he could join said tribes. Unfortunately, for his strange appearance, none of the tribes would take him in. and without a tribe, he wouldn’t be able to have access to the fruiting trees; he didn’t want to face a whole group of adult monkeys that could seriously injure him. He was lucky once, when a kind old woman would feed him as a kid when he barely managed to escape from one of the tribes that believed he was trespassing. However, she no longer came down to their meeting spot. Did she not care for him anymore? He didn’t know. Nor would he let that affect him, after all, no one wanted him. He was strange, different.

Smiling at his success of getting food for himself, he brought up the fruit to his mouth to take a bite. His ears twitched, hearing something in the distance. By the endless river? It seems so. Curiosity taking over, the black monkey walked over to where he heard the noise from. Oddly enough, it came from a cluster of coconuts hitting against one another due to the motions of the waves. 

Walking closer, he noticed an odd color of gold in the midst of the dark brown of the coconuts. His tail flicked in caution as the black monkey approached the make-shift raft, spotting a stick that he could use to defend himself with if he had to. 

Upon closer inspection, on top of the coconuts laid an unconscious monkey, similar to himself. Except the other monkey had a peach heart marking on his face and chest as well as golden fur that shone brightly in the sun. oh, and 4 less ears. 

Was the golden monkey dead? He wasn’t sure, so he poked him with the stick. 

‘He looks hungrier than I am…’ the black monkey thought as he continued to poke the other, earning a soft groan in response. ‘At least he isn’t dead…’ 

The six eared monkey’s ears then started to twitch again, the young smooth monkeys were coming, and if they found him or this other monkey they would be in trouble. He knew that these ones specifically were trouble, they would find whatever excuse to hurt innocent things. He didn’t like them.

Quickly, the black macaque dragged the other monkey off of the coconuts and into the bushes where he should be hidden from view as he distracted the smooth skinned away from the unconscious golden monkey. Unbeknownst to him that the latter had already woken up but was pretending to stay asleep. 

All six of the log monkey’s ears lowered as he looked at the single plum in his hand. “I guess I won’t be eating today… you need it more than I do” was all he said before placing the plum into the palm of the other’s hand and jumping out of the bushes to distract the human children that arrived at the shore of the endless river. 

“Hey! Hey! Look! It's that macaque with the colorful ears!” one shouted. “come on! Lets get him!” another declared. 

And that was his que to run.

And run he did, all the while the stone monkey watched. The black monkey ran from the beach up into a nearby tree, only to be followed up onto the tree by the humans, each now carrying a big stick they found. 

Seeing the sticks, the six eared macaque leaped from the tree onto the ground and continued to run. He ran, and ran, and ran. He didn't know for how long he ran, or how far he had gone, but eventually, he found a small hole under the roots of one of the bigger trees and dived down. 

The humans had followed him, he knew that. He could hear them outside, trying to get through the protective layer of plant life that shielded him from the danger. All he could do was curl into a ball, at least that way he could have some form of protection from any blows that could end up being a problem. 

A loud cracking noise caused the fur on his back to stand up, trying to intimidate the humans. However, he knew it to be futile as the human children continued to laugh and talk among themselves. He expected there to be pain soon, he was prepared for it. 

But instead, a pained shout came from one of the boys. Followed by another, then another. As soon the smooth monkeys were running away in fear, some even crying and calling out for their mothers. 

Hesitantly, the log monkey looked up to see what happened, and to his surprise, a hand outstretched with golden fur shining in the sunlight met him. The golden monkey saved him? Why? He didn’t understand. But he took the other’s hand anyway.

The golden monkey smiled and started to make some noise. Noises that the black monkey registered as monkey speech, a language he severely lacked understanding in but knew a few words. 

Seeing the confusion on the six eared demon’s face, the golden monkey frowned and looked around for something to explain with, eventually finding a small stick. The stone monkey used the small stick to draw out a few figures that looked like the other in front of him. Another figure depicted a fruit of sorts, one that looked like a peach or a plum. 

The golden monkey pointed at the figure of the plum and then at the figure of the other monkey - which, upon seeing it being drawn with six ears made the log monkey try to hide his own ears - then to himself as he rubbed his stomach as if saying ‘thank you for the food’, a gesture the black monkey understood and smiled at. 

This was just the beginning. The beginning of one of the greatest friendships in history. Oh how will this turn out I wonder? 

[tigerseye46]

I don't know if you're up for it, but how about 148 with Freenoodleshipping being dads to the Traffic Light Trio?

WOOO! I’m up for it! Let’s do this!

148. “Is this really the time for jokes?” “You always do this.” “Wake me up when it’s over.” “You look happy.” “I’m sorry, do I know you?” “Why can’t I get you out of my head?”

—————————-

Pigsy was infuriated, his kids were hurt, little injuries littered their bodies. The pig clenched his fist, he looked towards Tang, silently telling him to get the kids out of the way so he could transform. Tang nodded and quickly moved the kids out of the way, their eyebrows raised.

Pigsy transformed into his huge demon form snarling and attacking the demon that threatened his kids. The kids stared at him in awe, they had never seen this form before but for Red, there was something familiar about it, it was his first time seeing it but he felt as if he should recognize it. He brushed it off and just watched as Pigsy continued to battle the other demon until they retreated.

Pigsy was breathing heavily, his knuckles white as he gripped his rake. His eyes followed the direction of the demon as they ran. He snarled, he looked almost terrifying and beads of sweat were dripping from the kids’ face. Tang narrowed his eyes at the pig. “Pigsy!” He called.

The pig turned towards him, still angry, his husband gestured for him to calm down. The demon breathed in and out slowly, he shifted back to his normal form. He rushed towards the group with Tang meeting him halfway. Tang held Pigsy’s face in his hands. “Are the kids okay?!” Pigsy shouted.

“They’re fine, Pigsy.” He waved towards the kids. “They’re fine,” he repeated.

“Are ya okay?!”

“I’m okay, Pigsy. Although, I would be better with some noodles.”

Pigsy huffed and crossed his arms. “Is this really the time for jokes?”

“I told you I’m okay. Come on.” He nudged him towards the kids, Pigsy ran towards them.

“Qi Xiaotian! Long Xiajiao! Red Son! Are ya all okay?”

MK replied, “Yes, papa! I’m fine! Wow! I didn’t know you could do that!” His eyes sparkled.

“I’m okay but Piggy, what was that?”

“I would like to know as well, Mr. Pigsy.”

Pigsy sighed. “I’ll tell ya inside. Let’s go.” He motioned for them to follow him inside. They all complied with Tang being the last one to enter the noodle shop.

The dads got the first aid kit and began bandaging their kids. Tang had a cotton swab and was tapping it lightly on Red’s wound, the demon hissed in pain. “Stay still, Red.”

“Sorry, Mr. Tang.”

“It’s fine. I’ll try and be careful.” He continued to bandage Red’s wounds, trying to be as gentle as possible.

It took a few minutes until they managed to patch up all their injuries. Tang and Pigsy stood side by side as they glanced at their kids, they winced at the patched up injuries, they absolutely hated seeing their kids hurt.

Pigsy growled, “Kids…” The kids froze, staring up at their dad in anticipation. He sighed and rubbed his face. “You always do this. Ya have to be careful, ya can’t just rush into danger like that. Ya could get hurt and ya already did!!”

The three frowned. “Sorry…” they apologized in unison. The pig sighed again and shook his head. He got three bowls and poured soup into them, handing a bowl to each of the kids. They took it and began eating.

“Please be careful next time,” Tang begged.

“Sorry, bába…” MK replied.

Tang ruffled his hair and kissed his forehead. “It’s okay but please be careful next time. We can’t risk something happening to you, mystical monkey powers or not.” He turned to Red and Mei. “Same goes for you two. We know you’re capable but we don’t want anything happening to you.”

Red spoke up, “S-sorry, Mr. Tang… I am not used to having someone care about me… so I rushed into danger.”

The scholar’s lips formed into a frown. “Well you have us now. We care about you and we don’t want you to throw yourself in danger.”

The demon nodded. “O-okay…”

“That being said, I am proud that you three were able to handle the situation.”

Pigsy nodded in agreement. “Good job, kids but again, don’t jump into danger next time like that.”

The three nodded. “Now, papa, what was that form about? It was so cool!” MK’s eyes sparkled.

“Just a form I have. First time I’ve used it in years.”

Red titled his head. “I feel as if I should recognize that form.” At his words, Pigsy choked on air while Tang smirked and nudged his husband, the pig glared at him in response. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No, not at all, kid. It’s nothin’.”

“Why haven’t you used it in awhile, Piggy?” Mei asked.

Pigsy shrugged. “Never had a reason to use it until now. Last time I used it was way long ago.”

“Too long if you ask me,” Tang joked. His husband smiled and rolled his eyes in response.

“You would say that.”

“Well I think it makes you even more handsome. I haven’t seen that form since… you know.” Since Pigsy went by Zhu Bajie, he wanted to say but they decided not to reveal their identities just yet especially since they had only recently adopted Red. It was a bad idea to tell him that the pig and scholar that had just adopted him were Zhu Bajie and Tripitaka, they would tell them eventually.

“Yea, that was a long time ago.”

“Hm? Is there something you know that we don’t?” Red asked.

“Don’t worry about it. Now eat, ya look skinny. Ya all can do whatever after ya finished.”

Red complied and continued eating. The two adults took a few minutes by themselves to chat while watching their kids playfully banter. Mei placed a bowl in front of the counter suddenly.

The chef raised an eyebrow. “Ya done, Mei?”

“Yep!” She gestured to the table. “They won’t stop flirting. I’m going to MK’s room to take a nap. Wake me up when it’s over!”

The couple let out a laugh as they glanced at Red Son and MK, both were extremely red. Tang commented, “Let them have their fun. It’s rather cute.”

“Yea, it is,” the chef said and wrapped an arm around his husband’s waist.

Mei waved an arm. “Yea, I know. They’re so oblivious, it’s painful.”

Pigsy chuckled. “Your bába and I used to be the same way.”

“We sure did. It took us too long to notice.”

“How did you finally realize?”

“Well… someone helped and interfered…”

“Oh! So I just push them into a closet then?”

Tang shouted, “No! Don’t do that!”

“Awwww, why not?”

“Let them realize their feelings in their own time.”

“Bába, I’m going to be waiting a million years if that’s the case.”

The pig shook his head. “He’s right, y’know. They’ll realize eventually.”

Their daughter pouted. “Okay… but if they don’t get their act together soon, I’m pushing them in a closet.”

The couple laughed. Tang said, “Of course you are, just be patient.” He brushed a piece of hair away from Mei’s face.

Mei groaned. “Fine.” She kissed both of her dads’ cheeks. “I’m going to take my nap now.”

“Okay, dear. Have a nice nap.”

“Bye, kid.” Mei waved and left the shop to go upstairs to MK’s room.

Tang muttered, “I am so glad Wukong never pushed us into any closets.”

“Probably cause there weren’t even closets around. He definitely thought about it though.”

“Definitely. Although I wouldn’t mind if he did.” He ran hand against the pig’s cheek, he purred in response.

The pig playfully shoved him and looked away. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

Tang gasped. “Rude! You wouldn’t mind it either!”

“I definitely wouldn’t.” He winked. “Love ya.”

“Love you too.” He leaned against him.

MK placed his bowl on top of Mei’s. “I’m done! I’m going to play videos games in my room!”

“Okay, kid. Have fun.”

“See you bába! See you papa!”

They nodded at their son and MK sent one glance at them and Red before he left. Red smiled as the noodle boy left and ran a finger against his half finished bowl. Pigsy could tell there was something on the kid’s mind, Tang was way better with words than he was.

“I’m gonna do the dishes, Tang.”

“Alright.” He kissed the pig’s cheek. The pig grabbed the bowl and walked towards the other side of the counter while Tang strolled towards Red and sat down next to him. “You look happy,” he stated.

“Hm?” He smiled turned into a frown. “Yea… so-sorry.”

Tang tilted his head. “Never say sorry for being happy. I think it’s nice to see you smile.”

“Th-thanks. The Noodle Boy, he-”

“You like him?”

Red shook his head up and down hesitantly. “Ye-yes…”

The scholar cooed. “That’s fantastic. You two would be good for eachother.”

“T-thanks… I don’t know. I don’t know if he likes me.”

“He does. From personal experience, he does. I know Xiaotian and I know that in these matters, he does like you.”

“Personal experience? Like from Mr. Pigsy?”

“Yep. Back then I never wanted to believe the signs that Pigsy liked me, now that I look back, it is as clear as day. I used to think ‘Why can’t I get you out of my head?’” when I looked at him. It was like that all the time. Xiaotian does like you.”

“I- I hope so. I don’t get why though…”

“Why wouldn’t he? You’re a good kid, Red.”

“Really? After all I’ve done…”

Tang paused and nodded, despite the demon kidnapping back in the past and other things, he couldn’t hold a grudge against the boy, all he wanted was the approval of his parents and Tang knew he and Pigsy would be able to steer him in the right direction. Plus Tang wouldn’t be Tang if he didn’t give a demon a second chance. “Yes, I do. You’re trying your best and you have changed. I am extremely proud of you for trying to change.”

Tang could Red Son hold back tears. “Thank you, Mr. Tang. Thank you for taking me in.”

“Of course. Now eat, Pigsy might think you don’t like his cooking.”

“O-okay.” Red finished seconds later and moved to wash the bowl, Pigsy grabbed his arm.

“I’ll take care of that, kid.” He took the bowl from the other demon’s arms and began to clean it.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. Ya go have fun with the other two.”

“Th-thank you…”

“Mhmm…”

Red shyly waved at them and left. Tang sat in his stool and stated, “You know when we on the journey I didn’t think years later we would be having kids.”

“Ha! When we started the whole thing I didn’t expect us to get together at all.”

“I know right! I’m glad we did though. Really glad.”

Pigsy smiled. “Me too. I love you.”

He kissed Pigsy on the lips. He whispered, “I love you, Bajie.”

“Love you too, Tripitaka.” They were about to kiss again when they heard crashing come from upstairs. The pig sighed. “What are they doin’ up there?”

“I don’t know. We should check on them.”

“Like we can never get a moment alone around here.”

Tang chuckled and wrapped an arm around his husband. “Part of having children. Let’s go see what they’re up to.” He guided his husband toward the door, they thought about the happy life they built up and went to see their kids, smiling all the way.

[skellebonez]

Smoke, Flasks, and Unfinished Tasks: Chapter 4

AO3 Link!

Chapter 1 Link!

Chapter 2 Link!

Chapter 3 Link!

Summary: No one is happy with Wukong’s suggestions, not even Wukong himself. But they only have so many options and depending on what they learn from certain demons they have fewer options going forward.

Warnings: Discussion of past canon violence in Journey To The West

Chapter 4: Oh I can back them up and than some, show me what you got

"Have you lost your fucking MIND!?” Pigsy snapped, getting up and grabbing the tails of Wukong’s cape to drag him down to eye height. “DBK? The Demon Bull King? You want us to team up with HIM!? You buried him under a mountain for centuries, what makes you think he’d agree to that!?”

“Red Son.”

Pigsy froze for a moment, grimacing as he began taking the time to think this response over. The Demon Bull family had a... difficult relationship with Red Son, one that was undeniably unhealthy (and now that he had seen how much Red had mellowed out and blossomed since defecting to their side it was one the pig was glad he was out of). But the two demons were clearly protective of him in their own twistedly weird way.

He remembered how much they fought during their attempts to gain Princess Iron Fan's fan, fueled by anger at Wukong defeating their son and sending him off as Guanyin's disciple. MK had told him how PIF herself had defended Red from DBK when he was possessed by the White Bone Spirit, Red explaining that they had never stood for anyone physically hurting him outside of a proper battle when the topic eventually came up again, so there was some level of... care there somewhere. Bizarre and messed up care. Even if he didn't think it was anywhere near enough to make up for whatever had happened to undo Guanyin's teachings, it was something...

Something that they could use to their advantage to get them on their side temporarily.

"I hate it to admit it," Pigsy conceded with a gruff sigh as he let go of the monkey's cape tassels. "But you might be right. If they know he's missing they'll come runnin to look for him, and I’d rather them learn from us and work with us than fight against them if they find out themselves.”

He looked back at his phone, setting up the map on his phone to the nearest docks. “I don't like it, and if we DO ask for their help there ain't no way we're letting them get close to being alone with Red! I really don’t like that we even have to consider it, but if that’s what it takes I’ll do it.”

To say everyone looked surprised by his quick concession was an understatement, even Wukong himself raised an eyebrow at the shorter man. But no one knew what to really say to argue against it.

“So...” Wukong finally said as he stood with a smirk, dried and looking as regal as he ever did. “What’s the official plan, brother?”

“Sandy, head straight for the docks,” Pigsy said with a smirk back, pointing to each of them in turn. “You’re gonna talk to the dock masters and get all the info you can out of them. Tang, you and I are going together and I want you to call all the food stalls and shops in the area to see if they’re still open and if anyone is still workin who remembers seeing them. If anyone finds something we call the other and keep them updated.”

He turned to Wukong, eyes blazing in that same determination he had during their old journey. “First off, get an umbrella from my lost and found so you don’t drench yourself again. Then I want you to head to the weather station. Human disguise, no disguise, I don’t care how much you gotta show off just get them to stop the storm. You’re the only one of us with a lawyer on speed-dial, get them to bail you out if you gotta.”

Had it been 500 years ago Wukong probably would have teased the pig demon for taking charge like this. But now, all Pigsy could see in his face was the same determination he felt and some odd aura of pride coming from him. “Whatever it takes.”

“Whatever it takes.”

----------

The plan was working surprisingly well, all things considered. Over the course of the last hour Sandy had managed to find his boat (it had indeed been confiscated for illegally parking and the dock-master was more than willing to let it slide with a warning) so they knew where they were supposed to go. Wukong himself had made quick work of the weather station, apparently just showing up as The Monkey King was enough to get the station head to approve a change of weather for the rest of the day (once the poor guy on duty managed to get him to look at the screen to prove he was really there). At the very least Wukong’s lawyer would have a much easier week.

Because of this, Wukong (now in human disguise again) and Sandy were able to meet back up with Pigsy and Tang, the later after taking the most obvious route to get to the food stalls the trio was last seen at. If he had found any evidence of them taking that route it would have made everything so much easier, but he hadn’t even found a scrap of cloth. But progress was progress.

“And you’re sure you never saw them?”

“Sorry, man, I’ve been here all day and I’d remember seein the guy who brings my lunch twice a week and saves the city twice as much,” the cashier said with an apologetic shrug. “Wish I could help ya more... when ya see the guy, tell him I’ll hold his game for him, it’s the least I could do.”

“I will, and you’ve helped us a lot more than you think,” Tang said, turning to leave the shop. “Thank you for your time!” He rushed out, grouping back up with the other three adults (and one cat).

“OK, apparently MK was supposed to pick up another game from this used game store before heading to training and they never came to pick it up!” He announced, accepting the offered coffee from Sandy and taking a gulp of it and wincing at the bitterness. But he needed the fuel. “Oh, that is disgusting... But back to the search, we know a rough area where they had to disappear from now!”

“Hmn...” Wukong wasn’t looking at Tang, instead watching the high space between two buildings to the side of them. “And I bet a certain someone we talked about earlier knows about that area too...”

The rest of the group looked down the alley and finally put two and two together about where exactly they were and realized it lead into the part of the shopping district where Pigsy always went to get fresh ingredients. The exact same part where a certain eight legged demon happened to make her home underground. When they followed Wukong’s gaze upward they could see the tiny spiderweb that had caught his attention.

“Oh God damn it,” Tang groaned.

----------

No one was happy about this, least of all Pigsy and Tang. But small bits of luck, they weren’t entering the lair of the Spider Queen by falling down a scary nightmare hole this time. Instead they drove to that nearest dock for Sandy to take the confiscated boat so the three non-flying men could enter from the escape route they had made the last time they had been down there (with some assistance getting through the still broken sewer drain). Once they were under the still wide open hole Wukong had flown them all up on his cloud one by one.

And it was still as musty and spider webby as it had been before. They knew it was pointless to try sneaking around, instead just keeping their guard up as they made their way toward the main lair.

“Maybe she’s out,” Sandy offered when they saw no sign of her, scratching his head.

“Or maybe she’s been watching you the whole time~.” The three non-monkey team members jumped at the voice of the Spider Queen, moving closer to Sun Wukong as she slowly descended from the ceiling. “Monkey King! To what do I own the prestigious displeasure of seeing you again?” Her voice held the same playful tone as before, but there was an edge of tenseness and anger under it. “I certainly hope you haven’t harmed any more of my family on your way in, ape.”

From their vantage point his teammates could see Wukong’s fur bristle in annoyance at the slight. “I think you of all people would know not to call me that.”

“Ah, yes, I remember our last meeting,” The Spider Queen bit back as she made herself comfortable on the other side of the room, as comfortable as she could get in a stance clearly ready to run off at any moment. “The one where you squashed all of my sisters alive and I barely managed to escape. My apologies. It’s good to know you haven’t forgotten about me entirely.”

“If you play nice I can promise this meeting will have much fewer spider guts decorating your walls,” Wukong hissed out, crossing his arms as he took a step forward. “It will be much shorter too. We just want some information.”

The Spider Queen hissed right back, crawling back a foot up the wall. “I’m not stupid enough to want to fight you again, not now. Go on, ask so we can get this little reunion over and done with.”

Tang watched as the spiders that surrounded them all seemed to move back in tandem with their queen, following suit for their own safety most likely. She was much more subdued this time around, and there was no playful tone in her voice anymore. Something told him the stories he pictured, where Monkey King squashed the six other spider sisters in tiny spider forms, were much less accurate than he originally imagined. He shuddered at the thought.

“Did you have any spiders out near the shopping district before the storm today?”

Raising an eyebrow, the Spider Queen waved her hand and called over a small handful of her normal sized spider minions. She held them up to her ear, listening to them without taking her gaze off the Monkey King. “Ah I see... so the little Monkie Kid and his friends are missing.” She allowed herself a smirk for half a second before frowning again. “Didn’t know going missing was contagious.”

“What does that mean?” Tang asked without thinking, flinching back when her gaze fell on him for a moment.

“That little trio isn’t the first group my spiders have overheard people looking for,” The Spider Queen elaborated, gently putting the spiders on her nearest web. “And unfortunately for me, that means it’s probably good you came here. Fantastic.” She crawled down off the wall, moving sideways and over to little cauldron pot thing she had planned on stewing Pigsy and Tang in, picking up... a business card? “Catch.”

She tossed the card to Wukong who caught it effortlessly, looking a the slightly haphazardly drawn but surprisingly professionally printed card with surprise. “’Jin and Yin, Gold and Silver Demon Tech Services. For whatever anti-Monkie Kid and non-anti-Monkie Kid tech you may need...’? Those two are still around?”

“And they owe me a replacement for something of theirs your Kid broke the last time he was here, probably would have gotten it sooner if I had noticed faster,” she scoffed, shaking her head. “They were supposed to meet me here a week ago and they’ve vanished to who knows where. No one who has any orders from them can find them. It’s like they were sucked into one of their calabashes.”

“Their WHAT?” Wukong snapped, his voice echoing in the cave and making his companions flinch at the volume.

“Did... did that Kid not tell you?” The Spider Queen asked in genuine surprise. “Those two wouldn’t shut up about it after it happened, they’ve been making calabashes with some kind of VR tech and somehow managed to catch the Monkie Kid on their own! It didn’t work for long, obviously, but the fact they had him went to their heads for like a month. Pretty obnoxious, actually.”

There was a growl heard from the back of Wukong’s throat. “Well... this isn’t exactly what I expected to hear from you.”

The Spider Queen hummed, looking thoughtful for a moment. “You know, I have no love lost for your kids or those two and quite frankly I don’t care what happens to them.” She smirked a bit at Pigsy’s snapped “HEY!” before frowning again. “But them going missing together? That just feels like an even worse storm is coming down and I don’t like the feeling of how that bodes for me. Maybe nothing will come of it. Maybe it’ll help me. But I don’t want to take that chance.”

Suddenly she jumped backward, situating herself on a large web far out of their reach high in her cave. “Your kids vanished after they got to the food market. They went into a tea shop and never came out. That’s all my babies saw. Now take your leave.”

----------

“Yin, this is a terrible idea!”

“Well we can’t exactly get out of ‘ere while she’s gone, now can we?” Yin snapped, bandaging a small cut on his elder brother’s head from when he hit the floor. “Do you have a better idea?”

The Gold Horned Demon sighed, shaking his head once the bandage was on. “No... no I don’t. I should though, I’m the one that got us into this bloody mess.”

“And now you can be the one to get us out of it. Hopefully.” Yin bit his lip, listening carefully as he picked something up. “Right, she’ll think you’re still in here restin’ after she hit you with too much of that smoke stuff. I’ll cover you as long as I can. Ready?”

“Ready.”

“Is your name Jin?”

“... Yes.”