#wtf is Dalamus even good for he thinks. outside of Menzo he's just. a guy. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

noamuth · 2 months ago

Text

this is INCREDIBLY angsty and I'm sure I've already said it in different and gentler words but

I think on some level Dal is aching to be hurt. on purpose. by camp members. He expects betrayal because, in Menzo, you have to. You have to assume allies are temporary, and you're never quite sure when they're going to end but you know that they will

So he's got all this anxious tension that builds up as they, unexpectedly (to him), continue to try to treat him as an equal in the team, even if he makes it difficult. And that's frustrating to him because he doesn't believe it yet. Not entirely.

So he's got this tension building up and he's just like, hurt me. hurt me already. you know you want to. i want you to. so i can feel vindicated, and finally relax (if temporarily) because i was right. like if someone would just make him bleed to ease this pressure building in him, that'd be great

He's a bunch of Anxieties in a piwafwi basically

#i have so many thoughts about his thoughts #and his thoughts about himself wax and wane so much #when your whole identity was Lolthite and Menzoberranyr and gemcutter and now you can barely be 1/3 of that #it's hard to keep up the confidence. bc what's the point? the point is the loyalty!! he thinks. but what's the point?#like a lot of other camp members he kind of goes through an identity crisis. though his manifests as like. listlessness #he feels like he's withering. like a bee cut off from its hive. lacking purpose #he's not.. technically self-loathing? or maybe he is. in that he believes his usefulness has rapidly declined recently #self-worth was tied to jobs and titles that he no longer has and now he's just. Dalamus. and doesn't know who that is #wtf is Dalamus even good for he thinks. outside of Menzo he's just. a guy.#which is jarring bc in Menzo you're striving to be The Best in your field at all times. and now he's just. Here. He exists #Just Existing wouldn't be Enough in Menzo and he doesn't know how to shake that feeling on the Surface #im rambling #missy rambles #ooc

5 notes · View notes