#wrote this in the comments of a post once but i think it’s kind of cute and funny so i made it into its own post

[agrlsname]

Thank you @therealsaintscully for the tag! I'm soon about to post what might be my very last fic, so it's quite fitting to look back on my journey now.

How many works do you have on ao3?

38 – all Johnlock, except for one GO fic. On New Year's Eve I will post number 39!

What’s your total word count?

371,360 (will soon top it off with another 221 words ;))

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

What Friends Do (by FAR), Who I Really Am (personal fave), The General Idea, Coldness/Heat, Tomorrow's Song

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

At first I responded to every single one! And I still try to respond to every single person. But now, I sometimes only respond to the last one if it's a reader who's commented on every chapter and I get all the comments at once. I like staying connected to the readers, that's one of the most fun parts about fandom!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

It has to be This Is Your Song. I mean, there's another one within a series that end in an angsty cliffhanger, but MCD surely has to take the prize?

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Oh my, nearly all of them have happy endings – so what would count as happier than happy..? Maybe it's actually the one that isn't posted yet – stay tuned for the resolution of the New Year's Kiss series!

Do you write crossovers?

Nope. I've written a fusion though (Johnlock and Moulin Rouge!).

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yup. Some people get really angry at John in What Friends Do and they take it out on me. It's interesting because many MANY others adore the story with all their hearts! I even wrote a sequel from John's POV just to try to get people to understand, but the haters didn't understand anyway.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Even though at the beginning I said I'd never, half of my works are now rated E or M. What kind? Um, is "emotional, gay sex" a genre?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Many of them, into five different languages! Coolest thing ever.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I think I'm too pedantic for that. I've loved working with my beta on some poem translations, though, that The Sky is Full of Fiddles is based on.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

38 fics – you all know it's Johnlock, right? There are others that I love, but nothing can ever compare.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I don't have WIPs! I'm too much of a control freak and perfectionist when it comes to writing – I want to be able to change the beginning when I'm writing the ending. I don't even have unpublished WIPs – I hate the idea of leaving works unfinished. If I was still in those first years of writing frenzy, when I was single and didn't have a child, I'd have expanded on This Time – but as it is, I knew that I wouldn't have the time to do it justice. So I purposely ended on a cliffhanger that would still allow it to stand on its own the way it is.

What are your writing strengths?

Emotions, according to my beta! If you ask me, I'd say describing things – often emotions, I suppose – in new, poetic ways that play on different senses and therefore make them immediate. It's something I love reading myself, anyway, so it's something I've been practicing for... well, decades now. I'd like to think I've gotten at least somewhat good at it.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm weirdly bad at coming up with the small details that aren't important, but needed. A recent example is I needed a character to text another with an invented problem to try to get him to come over. It wasn't at all important what the problem was, but it also couldn't be just anything; it had to be in line with his character. I could not for the life of me come up with this problem myself – eventually my husband did it for me. So those kinds of details in my stories are rarely from my own brain!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Hmm, well, I've tried not to do that. As a reader I find it annoying to have to look things up, or scroll down to the notes. I have three fics in which characters aren't English; in This Is Your Song I added a couple of "Bonjour"s for flavour, which is about as far as my own French knowledge reaches... In the Fiddles series they're Swedes and speak my mother tongue, but I've written everything in English except for the words that English doesn't have (like for example "polska", a kind of dance), and at the very end, some song lyrics that are then translated into English in the end notes that come immediately after. I did want to add that song for flavour, but I didn't want it to be annoying.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Johnlock! I started in the aftermath of season 4 back in January 2017 and then couldn't stop.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I'm wondering whether I will come back to fic writing at a later point, but for another fandom. I've long wanted to write more for GO, although I already have written one fic. It would probably be a lot of fun to write for OFMD too. Doctor Who maybe? I don't know, it intimidates me to write for a new fandom where I don't yet know the characters as well as I know Sherlock and John.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This question is too cruel! There are so many of them that I love. Maybe I have to say The Sky is Full of Fiddles, after all – it holds such a special place in my heart for many reasons that go beyond the story itself (although that's true for several fics). Other faves are Your Daughter, The Zebra Sheets and of course Who I Really Am, which I'm liking enough to turn it into a novel I'm now trying to get published. See, I couldn't pick one!!

I'm on Tumblr way too sporadically to have any idea of who's already done this and who hasn't, so I don't dare tag anyone... Feel free to take it and tag me if you feel like it!

[sejarcus-archive]

Modern AU in which Sejanus is a famous Michelin star chef, and one of Marcus’s friends manages to book a reservation/somehow wins a dinner for two at his restaurant, and they invite Marcus to go with them.

Marcus kinda really doesn’t wanna go, cause he finds high end restaurants pretentious and not actually worth the price they make you pay (“Have you seen those portions? I gotta go there and pay like $400 or more, just to come out hungrier than I walked in? Hell no. And I gotta dress up like I’m going to a wedding to eat a single meal? No, thanks”).

In the end, though, his friend manages to convince him to go with them. Before going, the friend researches a bunch of stuff having to do with Sejanus’s personal life, the type of cuisine he does, ethics he abides by, etc, and tries to tell Marcus about it, but Marcus really doesn’t care to hear it.

Then the time comes, everyone is seated at their table, and right before they begin serving the dishes, the chef walks out to introduce himself and his cuisine, and “oh, he’s really young”, “shit, he’s cute as fuck”, and suddenly Marcus’s interest is peaked and now he cares to hear more about the chef.

Turns out the stuff his friend had also tried to tell him about is actually very interesting (especially the stuff the chef talked about the couple of times they locked eyes for a second longer than normal). And you know what? Maybe high end cuisine isn’t that much of a scam, now that he thinks about it.

(*months later* “How the fuck did you manage to get a date with a Michelin star chef, Marcus?!”)

[archaeren]

How I learned to write smarter, not harder

(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)

A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.

The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.

As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!

Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!

2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)

Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.

Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.

I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.

Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!

This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.

As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.

When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD

People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.

What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!

What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.

You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.

And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.

And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.

If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?

And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD

In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.

Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.

Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)

And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)

[leeechin]

(ꗃ) dangling charms [nerd sunghoon] ! (mdni)

⋆ in which you test the limits of the cute quiet dork that sat nearby you and your friend during lunch. but what you didn't expect, was to see a whole new side of this quiet dork, in his bed.

⌗ warnings & content: college au! sunghoon and jay are such losers in this oh my god. but i love it. nerd!sunghoon x fem!reader, backshots hehehe, protected sex (cheering) bigdick!hoon, oral (m.rec), fingering, praise, dom!hoon, etc. a lot of kaomojis when reader texts hoon, deal with it lol. early 2010s kind of au as well.

(lee's note: on that nerd sunghoon agenda :p i skimmed through this, not throughly proofread so lmk if you see any errors :D hope u guys enjoy i'm nerv abt this one.) reqs r open don't be afraid !! just read my guidelines first :3

word count: 3.0k

★ masterlist | post queue

"i love you y/n, but i don't think it is genuinely possible to even get him within the same vicinity of you that is not on campus.." gaeul comments, taking a sip of her drink.

you sigh in response, not bothering to hide the fact that you're eyeing park sunghoon, the cute quiet nerd you sat a couple seats away in your econ class. also, a couple tables away where you and gaeul were sitting at in the campus' dining hall. "what if i just asked him to tutor me—? it would benefit me and get me close to him."

"do you realize how crazy you sound right now?!" gaeul chokes, voice a little too loud causing the surrounding tables by the two of you to give a look.

"then i'm insane because i'm gonna ask him to tutor me right now—!" you exclaim, grabbing a piece of gum from the pack that was on the table, unwrapping the foil and popping it into your mouth. gaeul hypes you up, giving you a small applause in which you both giggle.

approaching his table, you felt a nervous tinge in your chest, choosing to ignore that feeling, you strut with confidence, stopping until you're standing directly in front of sunghoon. he looks up with an eyebrow raised, shutting off his laptop that he was doing an assignment on. "can i help you—?" loud smacks of you chewing the gum obnoxiously filled the awkward silence between the two of you, but you smile at him. "park sunghoon right?"

he nods, face still filled with confusion as to why such a pretty girl is at the table he occupied by himself on most days. "you have the best marks in our econ class.. and i was wondering if you could help me revise this paper i failed in that class.." you sheepishly asked, hand scratching the side of your head as you await a response.

"sure i can." sunghoon's response is short and quick, tapping his ipod that was connected with his wired headphones on his lap, waiting for you to say something. "great—! you should write your contact information for me down!" you beam. pulling out of your arm bag a mini notepad and pen, handing it to sunghoon. he takes a quick look at the character charm that dangled on a beaded string on your pen, laughing to himself in his head at how cute and amusing you were. carefully examining what he wrote before handing it back to you, sunghoon gives a small smile in return as well.

you thank sunghoon and practically skip back to your table, gaeul looking in shock as you hold up the once empty page of your notepad, filled with his contact info.

sunghoon's enjoying a peaceful dinner with his roommate when he hears a ding! from his phone. "this is the first time i've ever heard your phone during dinner." jongseong comments, stuffing his mouth full of instant ramen. "it's probably a scam or—" sunghoon remembers you asking him to tutor you. he scrambles to grab his phone, flipping it open to read your message.

"surely a scammer alright." jongseong sarcastically retorts. "shut up jay!" sunghoon yells flustered, reading the strings of messages you left to him.

(xxx) (xxx) (xxxx):

heyyyy :p it's y/n :3

turned out the deadline professor jung gave me to revise this paper in a few days (¬_¬)

soooo i was wondering if we could meet up in a couple hours ^_^ or we could do tmr cuz it’s a weekend and ur probably free ♪( ´θ｀)ノ

—

you weren't wrong.. but ouch that kinda gave sunghoon a realization that he really doesn't do anything besides studying 24/7 and being a dork with jongseong.

"no way.. you're texting a girl—!" jongseong gapes, peeking over sunghoon shoulder's to read his inbox.

"god we really are such womanless losers." sunghoon shakes his head, clicking his keyboard to respond to you.

—

(:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅) your pov ⋆ ࣪.

[hoonie ! ٩( ᐛ )و_^]

Hello Y/n

Yes. I could meet with you in a couple of hours

Your place or mine?

[you]

my roommates have company over (-.-;)y-~~~

is ur place okay ?? :D

[hoonie ! ٩( ᐛ )و_^]

Yeah, that's fine with me

My roommate is home too, but don't worry, Jongseong is very quiet

My address is: ________ 8:00 just to confirm with you.

[you]

yayyyyy ok (^｡^) c u in a couple !

thx hoonie once again !! i rlly owe u 4 this (*´∀｀*)

—

you're kicking your feet up and down after confirming your plans with sunghoon, flipping your phone shut. you call for gaeul outside of the hall to tell her the news and to help you pick a outfit.. hopefully not overdoing it.

touching up your lipgloss and twirling yourself in front of your mirror to finalize your look, you're more than ready.

"don't get him too flustered y/n.. he's probably never felt the touch of a woman." gaeul warns, handing you your keys. oh how gaeul was so wrong about sunghoon..

you knock on sunghoon's door, swinging open to meet eyes with his roommate, jongseong. he stares at you in disbelief not thinking that the plans in sunghoon's inbox would actually happen. "hi! i'm y/n, is sunghoon here—?"

"no fucking way." jongseong comments, completely ignoring your question. his eyes are opened wide like saucers and all you could do it at the door step is fiddle with the bottom hem of your short pink skirt and wait.

"is she already here jay— oh. hello y/n." sunghoon sees you up close, once again. he kind of already knew you were on the way when he heard the dangling charms on your arm bag down the hall as you took your steps closer to his front door. and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't attracted to you. "hi hoonie—!" you smile over at the door frame, looking over jongseong's shoulder. god that new nickname made him want to drop at his knees.

"s—sorry! i should've let you in since i've opened the door—!" jongseong stutters. you throw your manicured hand out, brushing it off. "oh it's okay jay. do you guys have any drinks—? not alcoholic or anything." you self invite yourself to open their fridge that was in the kitchen right by their entry. "um y/n." sunghoon mumbles, "hmm—?"

"please take off your shoes.." right. feeling slightly embarrassed, you say a quick apology and kick off your shoes, leaving them on the shoe mat. "don't worry about it." sunghoon reassured. walking back into the kitchen, you examine their fridge, wow. they really had a lot of choices, and a lot of food from packaged from the local convenience store. but enough of that, you settle with a strawberry milk cart and shut the fridge door.

"sooooo where are we gonna study—?" you turn to sunghoon, sipping your drink and awaiting a response. "in my room.. jay is playing a very important match of star craft in the the living room." sheepishly rubbing his head and gesturing to jay sitting on the couch, that had his eyes glued to the tv monitor as he started the game.

"okay-!" you say, following sunghoon into his room. you notice the lack of decorations, only a couple of figurines on his shelves, mainly filled with textbooks. "you sure do have a lot of dangling charms." sunghoon comments, scanning your arm bag and your phone charm.

"is it a problem—?" your eyebrows raises, eyes following sunghoon direction to your bag. "no no no! not at all, it was just an observation—!" quick to deny with no doubt.

you grin, only seeing how long it would until sunghoon gives in to your charm.

"so for this problem you can—" you interrupt sunghoon, "can we take a break?" he blinks in response, "sorry hoon i interrupted you—" "don't worry y/n. and yeah, we can take a break." your lips stretch into a little grin, getting up from where you and sunghoon were both sitting on the end of his bed, littered with papers and textbooks.

you go to his desk where you left your bag, bending over to grab a a container of green grapes. you purposely take a long time searching your bag and giving sunghoon the view of a lifetime; your mini skirt showing your little lace panties that hugged your chubby folds. sunghoon bits his lips to suppress a groan, feeling his erection growing.

sunghoon grabs a pillow to place over his lap, in hopes of his bulge would go down. you smirk to yourself, knowing that sunghoon has had more than enough time to see what was under your miniskirt. "want a grape hoonie—?" you offer, plopping yourself beside sunghoon on the end of his bed again. sunghoon nods his head.

holding out your container for him, sunghoon grabs a small handful of grapes, the both of you guys eating in silence. and you don't know what possessed you, but after the container was emptied, you lifted the pillow that was on his lap. and there behold; his boner.

he scrambles to grab the pillow again, but you grab at his wrist with your smaller hand. god did you just the veins and how thick his digits were. "y/n i'm sorry i—" sunghoon panics to find a choice of words, lucky for him, you interrupt. "you're rock hard hoonie.. because of me?"

"mmph. fuck. yeah." sunghoon groans, seeing you climb over his lap and straddle him. "let me take care of your little problem down there for you hoonie.." you offer.

"oh my god hoonie—! right there!" you moan, body perched against his bigger frame as he's stuffed two fingers deep in your sopping cunt, your panties being hooked to the side. "clenching around my fingers so tight, fuck. i knew this was planned from the start." he grunts in response, scissoring and twisting his digits.

it was so messy. you were a crying, sobbing, mess from the pleasure of sunghoon's digits hitting you so deep, reaching places you could never with your measly little hands. and never did you expect this from sunghoon..

you expected sunghoon to be a nervous, stuttering mess, but instead he was calm and collected, the one that was in control and power of letting you cum.

sunghoon's free hand was under your low-cut baby tee, grasping at your juicy tits that spilled out of your bra, taking his hand out from underneath your shirt and tugging it off and over your head, effortlessly unhooking your bra alongside it. fat tears rolling down your cheeks, smudging your eye makeup as you feel sunghoon speed the pace of his fingers, making you see stars and have you completely ruined at his mercy. breath hitching when you feel the coil in your stomach about to snap.

"just hold it out a bit longer for me, okay—?" he coos at you, tucking the strands of hair that draped over your eyes behind your ears. "hoonie please! s' so good." you babble, hands tugging at the collar of his shirt. you stretched it out so much that his collarbone showed.

a bead of sweat trickles down your forehead when sunghoon grants you permission to let go, spongy walls spasming around his digits as you crash forward and land your face against his chest. "that's it. did so well for me." sunghoon hums in satisfaction, licking your sweet release off his fingers and rubbing the side of your hips affectionately, pulling your panties back in place. you frown at sunghoon, hoping he wasn't done.

"i still haven't taken care of your problem down there.."

shuffling off his lap on the bed, you scramble and drop down to your knees; heels of your feet hitting against the plush skin of your ass. eyes looking up to sunghoon, awaiting. "shiiit, you're so pretty." he groans, seating himself up and off the edge of his bed.

looking down at you with your begging eyes that were inviting him to ruin you. and boy were you going to have such a story for gaeul when you get back home. "hoonie.. fuck my mouth?" you ask, hand reaching down to rub at your neglected clit. and who was he to refuse you, especially when you said please. pulling down his sweatpants along with his boxers, sunghoon is much much bigger than what you initially expected.

"oh…" your jaw almost dropping, but you contain yourself to just gulping nervously. "not big enough for you—?" he teases, hand coming down to grasp his length and pump himself as he waits for you put your mouth on him. "no.. you're too fucking big hoon. you're gonna destroy me." you rasp out, watching him take his hand off himself and replacing it with your own, making sunghoon hiss at the contact. he chuckles at your response, "we'll make it fit, don't worry— fuck—!" he moans, breath hitching when you try to take as much of his inches into your mouth, choking at about halfway. you look up, pleading for him to help you out. and so he did. hand grabbing at a chunk of your hair to create a makeshift ponytail and push his hips forward with a few experimental thrusts.

you didn't show him any signs of stopping, so sunghoon continued. he lets out a long groan feeling his tip his the back of your throat, along with the sensations of your harsh sucks. you moan around his thickness at the slight of his thick framed glasses fogging up with his heavy pants. your hands that were placed on on his thighs tapping twice to let you breathe in which he immediately pulled off of you. sunghoon holds his hand out for you grab and pull you up, wiping the saliva that was dribbling down the sides of your lips. "okay—?"

"s' okay." you giggled reassuringly, sunghoon smiles and places a kiss on your lips, and you could taste yourself from your previous orgasm from earlier against him. "think you can handle more..?" sunghoon asks with an eyebrow raised. "yeah. i want you to fuck me." you shrug, pushing him backwards so that he sat on his bed, initiating that you were gonna ride him, but no no no.

sunghoon manhandles you until your flat on your stomach. flipping your already hiked skirt up, not making much of a difference, kneading at the soft flesh of your pantie clad ass as you arch your back, wiggling yourself back at him for more. "so wet for me jesus." he grunts, pulling your now ruined paired down and over your ankles, tossing it somewhere in his room. he pulls his own shirt over his head and you oogle at his toned body, sunghoon laughs at your expression.

"only for you hoon. please. wanna feel your big dick inside me pleasepleaseplease." you beg, pushing your ass back to him in hopes he wouldn't make you wait any longer. sunghoon didn't, you look over your shoulder to see him reach over his nightstand to grab a condom, taking it out of the wrapper and placing it over him, giving a few experimental tugs before aligning the tip with your entrance. breath ragging as you feel him push in slowly, sunghoon groans alongside with your heavy breaths, the feeling of your walls gripping him so tightly.

if this was what heaven was like, sunghoon wouldn’t ever want to leave that place.

pulling out until only his tip was left in you and plunging forward again, sunghoon finds a pace that has you screaming his name like your life depended on it. "ngh—! hoonie harder—!" you shriek, making sunghoon remember that jongseong was still in the apartment and could probably hear what the two of you have been doing. pushing your head into his pillows, he grunts, speeding up the pace of his thrusts that made pleasure seep throughout your whole body.

"god y/n. your pussy feels so fucking good." sunghoon whispers, the room filling with nothing but the slapping sounds of his hips clashing against your ass. you moan into the pillow sheets, gripping his length like a vice and sunghoon wonders if he could ever feel you around him one day without a condom in the way. his hands grip your hips so hard that you know would leave a mark.

"gonna cum hoon. i need to cum hoonie please." you whimper as you lift your head up from his pillows, sunghoon groans again, his deep strokes hitting every right spot in your body. "let go for me y/n." he says, your body gives out, your whole upper half crashing against the soft material of his mattress as you coat his condom covered dick in your creamy white substance. sunghoon stills his movements, finishing inside the condom before pulling out. taking it off of him and twisting it before tossing it in the mini trash can by his bed.

putting his boxers back on and laying himself beside you. pulling you into an embrace as he put his tshirt over your body. the room is no longer filled with a sexual atmosphere, a piercing silence filling the air.

"we didn't fully revise your paper.." sunghoon speaks up, your head resting against his panting chest. you let out a loud laugh, playfully swatting at his shoulder, "god hoon! you just fucked the living life out of me and your already all books and brains again!" "sorry sorry." he chuckles.

"mm it's okay we can revise it tomorrow." you murmur. "after you let me take you out on a date—?" you nod and place a kiss on his lips in agreement.

"you know sunghoon.. i really didn't expect you'd have it in you.." you whisper, eyes half lidded. "what? you thought i was a whimpering virgin who's never felt the touch of a woman—?"

"that's exactly what i thought."

[praisethegabs]

OLDER

leon kennedy x reader

synopsis: he's getting older, and he knows that. not believing in luck or in love, leon finds himself in a position of complete misfortune. he convinced himself he's not worthy of love, but that changes when he meets you.

warnings: angst with fluff ending, age gap, leon is very insecure about his age and the reader. strangers to lovers, mentions of smut, ptsd, alcoholism, depression, suicidal thoughts. reader is very delicate, kind, and patient. there's parts from the vendetta book and a few scenes from re6. it starts with re6!leon and ends with di!leon

word count: 15k

a/n: guess who's back? to celebrate the 1 year re4r anniversary, I decided to post this one shot I was working for almost two months. I'm into my angst era again. also i wrote this based on this analysis i read, which made me think about the broken part of leon for a while, also this fic contains part of the vendetta book. feel free to leave comments, reblogs, tips, or positive critics. they're always very welcome ❤️

I. THE WEIGHT ON HIS SHOULDERS

Life can be a bitch sometimes.

This is what he says to himself when he finishes another bottle of whiskey. Every day, when he opens his eyes, he tries to stay positive, hoping his day will be different from his usual schedule; in the end, it is always the same bullshit. Over and over again. No apparent ending; always his solitude. 

But someday it must end, right? He can’t be fighting B.O.W.'s for the rest of his life, can he? Maybe someday he’ll finally settle down and have a peaceful day. Maybe, on this day, his nightmares will stop, and if he’s lucky, he’ll sleep for the entire night. No one can blame him for dreaming of a perfect life, and no one can take this from him. 

The government made him their slave, their deadly pet that follows and obeys every rule and command, and forced him to risk his neck almost every week to keep their country safe. What a bunch of assholes, he thinks to himself. Thing is, Leon hates himself for what he was forced to become. 

There is so much pain. So much suffering. He only wanted to be a cop — nothing more than that. He wanted to deal with simple things — not bioterrorists ready to blow up the entire world, not grotesque mutations that defy the natural order of things. Certainly, if he had a choice to go back and change that night, he wouldn’t go to Raccoon City. He would've stayed in his cheap hotel room; he would have obeyed Marvin’s orders to not go in there. 

But now he’s something else. The rookie cop who had to survive that night died. He can’t even recognize himself anymore, and sometimes, he blames himself for it. No more than he blames the government for it; if he could go back… 

His days are filled with this emptiness — the sensation that he might never see his happy ending. Ada? Yeah, sure. He knows he can’t trust her, and God knows where she is or what she’s doing. He was so naive to fall for her like he did. While on his free day out of the office, he finds himself with a certain envy of happy couples. He can’t stop thinking: why can’t he have the same? Why can’t he be happy for once?

Getting older sucks. At this point, Leon thinks and has already convinced himself that he doesn’t belong to anyone and that he won’t be able to have someone. To experience love and being loved, he wants to be wanted. He’s getting older and still doesn't have anyone by his side. That’s the price he pays for having this life, and he still blames the government for taking it from him. He doesn’t remember the last time he actually felt something for someone, and at this moment of his life, it doesn’t matter to him anymore. Leon had already accepted the fact that he'd die alone. Maybe he’ll get a cat to keep him company. Since he’s not much of a dog person since Raccoon City, maybe he’ll name her a cute name; who knows? That’s probably the closest he’ll get to having something waiting for him at home. 

Leon doesn’t remember the last time he actually felt happy. Since Raccoon City, he doesn't know what happiness means, and sometimes, on very rare occasions, he envies people around him. He feels like his entire life has no purpose and no meaning, and he’s completely faded to emptiness, to a sad existence based on killing bioweapons and serving his country. Does he feel proud about it? No, he doesn’t. 

It’s been a very long time since Leon felt pride. That feeling died and is now buried in the remains of Raccoon City, inside that police station where his life turned upside down. Now he’s only an empty shell of what he used to be. He’s rotting inside, craving something he knows he can’t have, and there’s nothing but a void inside him, consuming every inch of him. 

After serving his country for years, he started to get used to the idea that maybe he wasn’t made for a happy ending, and he shouldn’t bother with such things. He can’t afford the luxury of being with someone, because it means being vulnerable, and it also means he would have to open himself to things he swore he would never feel again. No, thank you. 

Things at work aren’t exactly the best, either. Years ago, Leon started to question himself about whether the government cared about their people, especially the ones he had to kill in order to save others. Leon couldn’t forget what happened in Spain — the entire village he was forced to end so he wouldn’t die. Perhaps they could’ve saved them; possibly they could’ve had a chance; maybe if… and this is where he dozes off thinking about the infinite possibilities. 

After what happened in Raccoon City, Leon knew he had lost faith. He knew things would never be the same after everything he saw that day. Sometimes, he finds himself thinking about Annette and William Birkin. He feels his body shivering when he remembers he had to fight for his life, clinging to something bigger than him. Survival. 

II. RINSE AND REPEAT

He has no social skills, and doesn't know how to interact with people anymore. It all feels weird and uncomfortable, and it makes him feel terrible. Sometimes he feels like he’s stuck in time and can’t have a proper conversation with someone normal. The worst part of his life is that he feels he’s carrying a weight on his shoulders that it wasn’t supposed to be his in the first place. He has the weight of the world with him, and there is no one to help him through it. Life made him depressed, cold and distant. Life has built him this way; he's shaped himself into something he’s not, and he can’t find himself. He’s lost. 

Leon can’t stop having nightmares about Raccoon City.

At this point, he just accepted that they wouldn't go away. It feels like he’s trapped inside his own mind, and there’s no turning back. Sometimes at night, he keeps looking at his ceiling imagining a different life, where he was a cop and happy. Usually, his nightmares are so dark and deep that when he wakes up, he finds solace in the sunlight, feeling relieved that he survived another night. When he doesn't sleep, when he’s too scared to close his eyes, he cries quietly, protected by the walls of his room, searching for assurance and a promise that everything will be fine. It doesn’t always work, but now he knows he can control his fears, and somehow, it helps him feel safe.

This time, his mission nearly got him killed. His entire body was full of bruises and wounds, and every part of him hurt. He felt his body swallowing a little, and he felt terrible again. He has blood under his nails, and he washes himself at least three times to make sure there’s nothing more on him than the burden of being a slave for the government.

Leon is paranoid; he can’t stand the fact that he has blood on his hands. If he sees a spot, he’ll clean it until there’s nothing left, and maybe he’s now too obsessed with the idea of being clean. It makes him feel sick to the bones, because he knows what he does and what it means. He knows that this guilt won’t be washed away like the blood on his hands, and certainly won’t get away from his head like it does from his clothes whenever he launders them. It’s a pretty shitty routine, but he’s used to it. 

Now he finds himself in a very dark place; he can’t eat without feeling guilty. He can’t do the basics of his chores because he can’t stop thinking about his life, regretting every decision he made. Everything he does seems mechanical, like he’s repeating the process over and over again, a perfect killing machine that has no one to care about. On Fridays, he finds himself sitting on his couch, in complete silence, holding an empty bottle. He knows he can’t drown himself in alcohol, no matter how much he wants it or how tempting it sounds, because the liquid doesn’t affect him anymore. It doesn't make the pain go away or silence the horrors he saw during his life. 

After three weeks inside his house, locked inside his room, Leon woke up with a strange feeling inside his chest. Something was telling him that this day would be different, like a big change would happen. For the first time in weeks, he decided to leave his place for a simple walk. He could do that; he could walk into the market and buy some real food or maybe get a haircut. He felt that he was able to allow himself to have an ordinary day. 

After taking a long shower, Leon decided to wear cozy and comfortable clothes. He was so used to his brutal routine that he almost forgot what it was like to have a normal day, but this time, he was willing to try something different. He took a deep breath before leaving his house, and when he felt the soft, cold breeze reaching his skin, he knew he could do that.

Step by step, Leon found himself walking towards the market, even enjoying the lovely view he had from his neighborhood. He doesn’t remember it to be so… gray. Sure, he knows what winter is, but he doesn’t remember the last time he actually stayed at his home during the winter. His lips turn into a small smirk, and he thinks how silly he is. When he reaches the small market, which is more of a store, he walks slowly, looking at what he might be buying - he’s done with frozen food. He stops at the veggie section and keeps looking at it, confused. 

“These aren’t fresh” a sweet voice is enough to wake him up from his trance. He looks in that direction, and all he sees is you.

“How can you tell that?” he asks you in visible confusion, which makes you smile. And that smile was enough to sparkle something oddly inside him. 

“Color, smell, texture,” you explained, still smiling and showing him a fresh vegetable. “This one is fresh."

"Thanks,” Leon replied awkwardly, taking the vegetable from your hand and placing it in his basket.

“You don’t come here very often. I know almost everyone who comes to buy food here,” you said next, glancing at him with curiosity. 

“I… have a busy schedule,” he says, still sounding awkward.

“Really? Well, you should definitely take some time to buy healthy food. I’m pretty sure you do a lot of workouts to keep your body in shape” you giggle, noticing the size of his muscles, which makes his face turn red.

“I’ll keep that in mind” Leon managed to say, although he wanted to dissipate from Earth.

“I can help with that” you suddenly said, analyzing him more carefully.

“With what?” Leon frowned, already feeling his heart beating ten times faster.

“I noticed you’re having difficulty with your right arm, which makes me think you got it hurt. If you’re planning to buy more, I can help with your bags” you offered, very polite and kind, catching him by surprise. 

“Thanks” Leon says, finding himself smiling, which is unusual. 

At first, having some company after so much time alone made him think it was strange. He wasn’t feeling ready to have a small conversation, but you didn’t seem bothered. In fact, you were enjoying walking to this stranger's house in complete silence. Fifteen minutes later, you were in front of his house in an awkward silence between the two of you. 

“I guess this is it” you smiled at him, and Leon found himself lost in your smile. 

“Yeah. Thank you” he said for the fifth time, which made you giggle a little. 

“Anything for a customer” you said to him, giving him his bags. “My parents are the owners, so…”

“You don’t seem too old” he said, and after a second, he felt more weird. “I mean…”

“Nah, it’s ok. This isn’t the first time people say I'm younger than I look”. You smiled again, thinking that this old man was very silly and cute. “I’m 25, don’t worry”

“I’m Leon, by the way” He finally says his name to you, stretching his hand in a very educated way.

“Nice to meet you, Leon” you said before shaking his hand. 

Leon took at least three weeks to return to the market. 

His initial thoughts about you were that he definitely felt weird in your presence. Maybe he felt that way because of his lack of social skills and because he really sucks when the subject is social conversation. He caught himself thinking too hard about the visual and evident contrast between the two of you; you were young, bright and smart, with a great future ahead of you, and plus, you came from a loving family. Leon, on the other hand, was an orphan used and abused by the government, their pet and a man who only knew pain and brutality. 

However, you were the first friendly face he saw after years. The way you were smiling and giggling at his awkward answers, it definitely made him feel something he thought he would never feel again. It was like you found the rookie cop inside him, and despite the fact that he barely said something, he felt normal around you. And that was more than enough. How could it happen so fast? 

“How can I help you?” you said before noticing it was him. “Oh, hi” 

“Hi” Leon is welcomed by that smile of yours. “I… um…”

“You came to buy more veggies?” you ask, still smiling at him. You think it’s cute to see him without any words. 

“No… I just came because I’m looking for food seasoning” Leon said, his face slightly turning red. “I’m trying new recipes, so…” 

“Yeah? What have you been trying?” you ask with sudden enthusiasm, leading him to the part with seasonings. 

“Nothing too risky” he answers vaguely, following you closely.

“What kind of seasonings do you like?” You turn back to face him as you show him the shelves with different types of seasonings. 

“I’m more into spicy flavors” Leon tells you, his attention going to the shelves. 

“It suits you” you said, giving him some space. You saw him smiling again. 

"How does spicy seasoning suit me?” he asks with a hint of curiosity. 

“You might think I’m weird, but… seeing from outside, you look like someone with a rough agenda and, apparently, whatever you do is dangerous. Personally, I think you suit perfectly spicy things” you said, hoping it would make sense. 

“I think I got your point,” Leon said, and then he found himself smiling for the second time. 

“Lucky me, right?” you laugh, walking back to the cashier. “Is this all for today?”

“Yeah, I guess it is,” Leon nods, grabbing his wallet to pay for the seasonings. 

“How’s your arm?” you ask, taking his money and counting it. 

“It's better. I had to take a few painkillers, but it’s definitely better” he said, avoiding you for a few moments. 

“That’s great. I know a few herbs to help with the pain” you said, giving him the change from his purchase. 

“How so?” Leon asks with another hint of curiosity. 

“A great sorcerer doesn’t reveal her secrets” you wink playfully at him. “You need to earn that, soldier” 

“And how could I earn your secrets, great sorcerer?” Leon asks, enjoying your playful mood. 

“Maybe you can invite me for dinner and show me your cooking skills” you shake your shoulders and, for the second time, catching him by surprise. 

“You would love that, wouldn't you?” Leon said, and a slight smirk appeared on his lips. 

“Who knows?” You wink playfully at him, with another suggestive smile on your lips. 

The world has gone to hell, Leon thinks to himself. 

He starts to contemplate everything that has happened to him. When did this madness begin? It was back in Raccoon City? Oh, no. It is way older than that. Maybe his collapse started when his family died, and he was left an orphan; what happened in Raccoon City wasn’t really the beginning of his nightmare. It was the cherry on top of the torments that would become his life. 

Now that he’s coming back home from another mission, he can’t stop thinking how his life could’ve been if Umbrella had never happened. If those bioweapons were never created, defying every natural order. He looks outside his window, and he just can’t stop blaming himself for Tall Oaks. 

What has become of this world? Leon thinks. Where did I go wrong? 

His life is an entire mistake. It just goes on and on. His family first, then Raccoon City. Tricell, Los Illuminados, Uroboros and, finally, that nightmare at Tall Oaks. Leon takes a deep breath. He feels his hands shaking and closes his eyes, forcing himself to forget. How silly he is!

The future is a hell that’s only getting worse. 

III. THE PAIN OF REMEMBERING

You weren't expecting Leon to find the note with your number that you left on his seasonings, the same way you weren't expecting him to call you.

However, something about him got your attention the minute he stepped foot inside the store. He wasn't like anything you had seen before; he was definitely something else. 

After almost four weeks since the last time you saw him, you got a call from an unknown number. It was pretty late at night, but your curiosity won the battle within you, and you had to pick up the phone. With a groggy voice of sleep, you saw the number and frowned.

“Hello?” You ask, followed by a big yawning. It was one in the morning. 

“Hi… um, it's Leon” he says with some urgency, to which you jump from your bed. “I'm sorry to wake you up” 

“No, don't worry. I wasn't sleeping” you lied, forcing yourself not to yawn again. 

“I know it's late, but… I was thinking about that dinner…” he says, sounding somehow hopeful. “Maybe you could come later and… talk?” 

“Yeah, sure. Can you pick me up?” You ask him, and a smile appears on your lips as you answer him. 

“Of course. At seven?” 

“At seven, it is,” you smiled again. 

As soon as the call ended, he was in complete shock. For some reason, Leon felt you wouldn’t accept his invitation, especially after being alone for so long. His heart was beating faster inside his chest, and he had to remind himself that it was just a casual date between… two friends? Could you possibly be his friend? 

Leon felt anxious, something he only felt when he was on his missions. 

Suddenly, the mere thought of having you at his home with him sounded terrifying. He felt like it would end in a complete disaster, and you wouldn’t see him ever again. Then, Leon had to stop and calm himself down, knowing it was his trauma trying to get the best of him. After everything he went through in his life, being able to trust someone proved to be a difficult task. He felt scared, and his mind was racing with thousands of different thoughts, each worse than the other. 

Betrayal is the word that defines Leon. 

He was betrayed before and multiple times, which left him with a lot of insecurities and traumas to the point he feels that he can’t trust anyone, which led to another set of insecurities. Leon feels that he isn’t enough anymore, that he can’t provide the proper attention someone might need from him, and that he can’t be in a relationship because of his problems. The truth is, he can’t be in a relationship until he leaves his trauma behind, and he knows it. That’s the easy part, but the hard one is how to let it go. 

Later that day, Leon finally had the courage to clean his house. He needed some motivation to get rid of his depression, and nothing was better than finally allowing himself to have some company besides his solitude. His house smelled pretty good, everything was clean, and his furniture was even shining. He opened the curtains, and the sunlight entered his living room. He took a deep breath with the fresh air that came inside, and smiled, feeling somehow proud and happy. 

At seven, you were waiting outside the store, scrolling through your phone, when you saw Leon approaching on his motorcycle. You were gorgeous, wearing a beautiful dress and covered by a black leather jacket — the perfect contrast that suited you well. Leon was completely mesmerized by the sight of you - so beautiful, he thought. 

“Hey, there” you waved at him as he parked next to you. 

“Hi,” Leon replies, sounding embarrassed. “You look beautiful”

“You too, handsome” you said playfully, taking the helmet from his hand and sitting behind him, your hands holding him tight. You didn’t notice the small blush on his cheeks. 

"Are you okay back there?” Leon asks you, making sure you were fine before starting the engines. 

“Yeah, I’m fine” you said, nodding your head, and smiling when he started to drive his bike to his place. 

You two didn’t take long enough to reach his place. Leon offered you his hand so you had support to get out of his bike, and he even opened the front door for you. He led you inside his house, and everything inside was enough to show you the kind of man he was; his home was big, but simple. He had a lot of comfort there, but it seemed like he didn't spend much time at his place. You saw some photos at the fireplace, a few when he was younger, at some training camp with his possible friends. 

“How old were you when you took these?” you asked him with curiosity. 

“I was twenty-one” he said, grabbing the wine and the glasses. 

“So young” you whispered, noticing that in some pictures, he was sad. 

Leon took another deep breath. Why did this have to be so difficult? Why couldn’t he be just normal for once? Why did everything have to happen to him? You were standing there, so gracefully, observing his old photographs, so young and full of life, with no baggage with you. Someone actually happy and alive. If you knew how much he envies this. 

“People say that our eyes are the windows to our soul” you turn to face him, noticing his sudden silence. “Yours are so sad and broken… what happened to your neck?”

Instinctively, his hand reaches his neck, and Leon feels the bandage perfectly secured on his skin, with a small spot of blood. Gladly, it was enough to change the subject, because he was shocked enough by what you said about his broken soul. If you only knew. 

“I, um… got hurt on my job. It’s nothing.” Leon tries to avoid speaking about his past. 

“It seems pretty bad” you step closer to him, your hand gently touching his bandage. 

“It’s nothing… trust me” Leon smiles weakly, looking down. His heart is beating so fast inside his chest that he could explode any time. “I’m fine” 

“Then explain why you are so nervous around me” you whispered, now softly touching his cheek. 

Leon felt he stopped breathing, like his lungs decided to leave him alone and deal with the matter himself; how powerful your touch felt. It was enough to break every wall he built around himself for years; it was enough to make him break. And it was only a soft and kind touch. He slowly closed his eyes, his breath becoming normal again, and he allowed himself to just feel it. 

“I don’t know what on earth happened to you…” your voice is full of kindness as you speak, now seeing him hold your hand as you keep touching his cheek. “But I’m always here if you decide to talk” 

Leon was reaching his breaking point. 

He was used to being a slave, always using his body, mind and soul to provide safety for the others without them knowing one damn thing about it; he was used to always being alone, to the point that kindness was a strange feeling, almost not existing at all and that he didn’t deserve it. But here you are. 

“It hurts to remember,” he confessed, his voice a low whisper. “I tried to forget it, but I can’t” 

When he felt you wrapping your arms around his body and your warmth embracing him, Leon felt his eyes getting wet. He was so deeply touch starved, craving something so human, that when he got it, he knew he was going to break. His mind was racing, and his body was trying to process the feeling and react in the proper way. He felt so many emotions at once that he thought he was going insane. 

“Please, keep holding me” Leon begs, his arms finding their way through your back as he hugs you back. “Because I know I’ll fall if you let me go” 

After that night, it took almost two months until Leon decided to show up at the store to see you again. He felt nervous, but at this point, he realized that, for some reason, he couldn’t stay away from you; he felt that you had some type of magnetism enough to keep him close, which made him feel comfortable, something he hadn't felt in a while. 

However, before he went to the store to see you, he needed courage. Leon thought you would be upset with him after being ghosted for almost two months, although he felt responsible for it, since he never told you the nature of his job or why he was so absent. Sadly, Leon was again in a spiral of sadness and depression. His last mission was a disaster, and Leon knew he had no control over his feelings again. He was sitting on his bed, contemplating the bottle in his hands. The curtains were closed, and the atmosphere inside his room was darker. He closes his eyes for a brief moment, and then, he’s there again. 

June 29, 2013. Tall Oaks, USA

“It might create more problems than it solves…” the voice of the president echoes inside his head as he points his gun towards the said person.

Leon doesn't recognize the man in front of him, or what he used to be. He keeps his gun raised, his grasp around the trigger getting tight by the second he makes his decision. His voice comes and goes, creating a tense atmosphere around him. 

“Bio-organic weapons are a global threat and we are partly to blame…” Benford said once to Leon when he expressed his desire to expose the truth about the Raccoon City Incident. He looks at the living corpse in front of him. Tick tack. He knows what he needs to do. “I’ve always valued your friendship, Leon… It’s time to take responsibility and end this mess” 

He shakes his head, somehow returning to his reality. 

“Stay right where you are!” Leon said, his voice sounding cracked and angry. The corpse starts walking towards him and as a reflex, his grip gets more tight. “Mr. President!” 

The zombie starts walking towards him and the woman next to him. He hesitates for a moment, unsure and sure about what he needs to do. Every part of him screams and begs, trying to find a solution. He knows it’s too late. He can’t save the president, he can’t save anyone. 

“Don’t make me do this” Leon gritted his teeth, trying to find any reason to avoid what needed to be done. It happens fast. Adam Benford, the former president of the United States and now a corpse, throws himself towards her. “Adam!” Leon screams.

He pulls the trigger. 

And there’s only blood. 

He gets out of his thoughts when he hears someone knocking on his front door. It doesn't take too long for him to finally stand up and see who’s there, and, inside his mind, he’s already preparing himself to tell this person to leave him alone, but his entire demeanor changes when he opens the door, and all he sees there is you. 

“You’re back” you smiled warmly at him, your cheeks red because of the cold temperature. “I wasn’t sure you were home” 

“What are you doing here?” Leon’s first question isn't as welcome as you thought it would be. 

“A friend can’t see a friend?” you answered simply, and the smile never left your lips. 

“I’m sorry” he sighs, giving you space to enter his place. “I didn’t mean to be rude” 

“Don’t worry” you said, removing your scarf and hat. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine, I guess” Leon nods slowly, and you notice he’s not entirely well. 

“Breakfast?” you ask him, wanting to confirm your suspicions, and he nods quietly. 

You had difficulty finding yourself inside his place, since you’ve been there only once. You notice that he’s quiet, and despite that fact, which is completely normal for him, you know that there’s something wrong. So, you decided to go simple with his breakfast. Almost forty minutes later, you came back with a plate full of pancakes, crispy bacon, scrambled eggs, and some orange juice. 

He leisurely used his knife and fork to eat the food you made. The careful manner in which he ate wasn’t due to his cautious nature, but rather because he had a terrible hangover that messed with his coordination, and rushing could easily lead to a slip of the hand and his shaking. Leon was a pretty man, and he could easily take on leading roles in Hollywood blockbusters. However, he currently sported a scruffy beard, exuded a weary atmosphere, and radiated fatigue and discontent. 

“I think I reached rock bottom,” Leon finally says, but he avoids your gaze at all costs. 

“Then I’ll help you get out of there” you said with kindness, your pinky finger interlocking with his. 

IV. GRIEF AND BARGAIN 

The path to healing isn’t always easy, and now Leon is aware of that. 

The year is now 2014 and he’s struggling to forget what happened a year ago. Sometimes, when his mind is quiet, he starts to wonder. Is it possible that there could have been a world without Umbrella and zombies? Leon scoffed and shook off his sweet dreams. A world without zombies? That's something from a long time ago. The future is only going to become a worse hell. Then, he has to remind himself about the great things he has in life. You are one of these things.

Although he has your support, he knows that he’ll only get better walking this path by himself. The winter deciduous forest looked like branches made of human bones. A mixed forest with a walking path spread out. This is a high-end residential area in Bethesda, Maryland, where congressmen and bureaucrats commuting to Washington spend their nights. In the depths of a thicket, there was a slightly open gentle sloping area where the desired building was located. It was a designer house filled with a sense of openness, with all outer walls covered in glass, and it appeared like a model intended to showcase beautiful scenery rather than a place for people to live in. 

The luxury was excessive to the point where it seemed somewhat like a toy. Leon had hidden himself in the thicket away from the road and was monitoring the designer house through binoculars with night vision capabilities. It was an unacknowledged fact, but a traitor to the country was living in this mansion. Senator Steven Air, who had sold information to a bioterrorist organization, was one of many government officials who had been involved in the incident in Tall Oaks where the President became a victim of B.O.W. Simmons, the President's aide, was among those who betrayed the government. And Leon still blames himself for what happened that night. 

Currently, fifteen members of the Division of Security Operations (DSO) and two stealth drones have surrounded Steven's mansion. It was necessary to capture him and extract plenty of information before bringing him to trial. According to reports from aerial surveillance, Steven was on his way home by car from Washington. The distance from the White House to Bethesda was approximately twelve kilometers, and it would take about thirty minutes if he drove fast. Leon shifted his focus to his shoulder holster with a handgun. Of course, capturing him alive was best, but there was no hesitation in shooting the traitor if he resisted.

Leon suddenly remembers. This is Bethesda. The name is derived from the Bible. From the Gospel of John–

“Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. Here a great number of disabled people used to lie — the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years."

Jesus healed the man who had been sick for 38 years. God's love and His miracles. Bravo. That's exactly what this world needs in this hell.

"Target approaching."

As he thinks about the Bible, a communication comes through his earpiece. It's a report from the overhead surveillance team flying a drone. A roadway that weaves through a grove of mixed trees was approached by Stephen's white Porsche, an elegant luxury car resembling a graceful white swan. Perhaps dozens, hundreds of people may have died to buy that car. Such is the life of a villain.

"Visual on the target vehicle. Secure upon my GO signal," Leon whispered into his radio microphone. Both the earphones and microphone were of a bone conduction type that excelled in noise resistance. It converts vocal cord vibrations transmitted through the skull directly into voice signals. It was a perfect gadget for special operations where one couldn't make loud noises or miss instructions in the midst of noise. 

The Porsche approached the garage. 

"GO," Leon said sharply. 

At that moment, two SUVs that had been hiding in a blind spot by the roadway started their engines like barking dogs and closed in on the Porsche at tremendous speed, trapping it in a pincer movement as planned. The driver of the Porsche was Stephen's secretary, with a bodyguard in the passenger seat and Stephen himself in the back seat. 

Suddenly trapped from the front and back, they were thrown into confusion. Leon wondered – would the bodyguard or secretary resist? There was no doubt that they were carrying guns. He didn't want to give them unnecessary visibility, but he would deal with it when the time came. The agents jumped out of the trees. In the next moment, Stephen's Porsche exploded. 

A deafening roar and shock. The high-performance explosive device planted under the car's body lifted the Porsche several meters off the ground, engulfing it in flames. And caught up in it, the DSO's SUVs overturned as well. The window glass of all the cars shattered into tiny pieces, the car bodies twisted and burned the people inside. All six agents from the team on foot, including Leon himself, were blown backwards by the force of the blast. Leon still thinks like he’s floating in the air, an eerie feeling of weightlessness that ended when he felt his body slamming against a tree trunk. In those fleeting moments, his consciousness waned, and it was the closest he had come to death.

Yet, it seemed the Grim Reaper was not yet ready to claim him. 

Pain, intense and searing, jolted Leon’s awareness back to life, a grunt of pain escaping his lips. Leon struggled to his feet, and he threw up, retching repeatedly. His consciousness ebbed and flowed like waves, and he knew that rest was essential. Leon suspected that his ribs and collarbone were either fractured or cracked, but, fortunately, his arms and legs remained unbroken. Gritting his teeth, he managed to force his dislocated left shoulder joint back into place, enduring the excruciating pain, as he tried to work out which way was up. 

There are bruises littered across his skin, scratches and abrasions where the bark of the tree tore his flesh. The shock of the explosion and the fear of death… an unpleasant feeling of internal organs turning over welled up. No matter how many times he experienced it, he could never get used to the terror of a close-range explosion. The air was knocked from his lungs; his breathing temporarily stopped; his eardrums were about to burst; and his knees were weak. He can barely stand. Leon finally sits up, willing his agent training to give him a sense of urgency even though his body is screaming in agony. The stench of gasoline fills the air, but Leon can barely smell it. His sense of smell and hearing are both almost gone. What the hell happened? Leon asked himself in front of the burning Porsche.

He feels paralyzed. 

It was three in the morning when your phone started to ring. 

It was an unknown number, and you had to fight the necessity of hanging up; something inside you told you to pick up the call, which you did. It was Leon, and the way his voice sounded on the phone made you aware that something bad had happened. Terrible, nonetheless. You drove to his location, and you found yourself shocked when you found smoke, fire and the smell of gasoline among a lot of government agents and military personnel. You found Leon sitting in the back of an ambulance, his body covered by a blanket, as he was examined by a paramedic. Not only that, but you had credentials to enter that isolated area, and the way those agents were rushing from one side to the other, talking on their phones, made it clear that someone important had died. You made your way towards Leon, not daring to look around, and when you reached him, you saw tears in his eyes. You hugged him tight, like you were holding the world in your hands. 

“It’s ok, I got you” you said to him, your words full of assurance and kindness. 

Leon refused to be taken to the hospital; instead, he asked you to drive him back home, since he felt he couldn’t do it on his own. The ride back to his place was silent, and you decided to respect his space, although you saw him trying to find solace in something real. He couldn’t stop playing with his finger, showing an elevated level of stress and anxiety. You have never seen him like this before. 

“Can you stay?” Leon suddenly asked when you pulled over in front of his house. “I… don’t want to be alone” 

“Yeah, sure” you nodded, noticing how vulnerable he was, which was odd. 

You heard him groaning in pain once he got out of your car, but he refused your help, insisting he was fine. Knowing him well at this point, you gently held his hand, offering nothing but your support, and Leon quietly appreciated your effort. You helped him sit on his couch and heard him mutter something only he could understand. Judging by the look on his face and the way his hands were still shaking, you knew he was in shock. 

“Do you have any first aid kits or something?” you asked him, hoping you would gain his attention. 

“I’m fine” Leon replies, his eyes fixated on his shaky hands. You sat next to him, holding his hands and scratching his skin softly. 

“It’s ok not to be okay." Your voice is almost a whisper as you look into his blue eyes. “You don’t have to be tough all the time” 

You saw him reach the breaking point. 

Feeling embraced by your kindness and safety, Leon finally allowed himself to feel his emotions — the same ones he fought hard to bury deep inside him — in the same place he swore he would never visit again. In the cozy atmosphere of his living room, having nothing but you as solace, the brunette agent gave himself a break, and when he did that, his eyes started to get watery.

After Raccoon City, Leon shut himself up so he wouldn’t be hurt ever again. He used to keep his emotions contained; he used to not think of them. He kept everything bottled up, because he knew he couldn’t handle it. Leon was so traumatized that the way he dealt with his feelings was to pretend they didn’t exist, in the first place. After Spain, it got worse. Nightmares after nightmares, the paranoia of still being infected with Las Plagas, everything that came after this. 

But here you are, telling him that it is ok not to be okay, that he doesn’t have to be tough, and that it is okay to feel and to be vulnerable. He couldn’t stop sobbing; his hands were still shaking, but he didn't even care about this at the moment. Gently, you started to play with his hair, your fingers slowly going up and down on his head, providing comfort and care — exactly what he’s been missing his entire life. 

“I lost them all” Leon started to say through sobs. “I saw them dead” 

“It wasn’t your fault” you assured him with calm words. 

“I failed them," he says as he looks at you, his blue eyes shining with tears as they fall through his skin. 

“That’s not true. You didn’t know the car was about to explode or whatever happened there” You tried to calm him down. 

“We were watching him; it was my responsibility to make sure they would be safe… it was my job to ensure that” Leon sobs again, and you can see he’s struggling to breathe due to his anxiety attack. 

“Listen, you’re too nervous right now. Come on, take a deep breath with me” you said, hoping he would listen and cope. 

Leon nods between sobs and takes several deep breaths to try to calm himself down. You took a glass of water and gave it to him, then you took his hand into yours, whispering words of assurance and kindness. You decided to put him to rest, and it wasn’t necessary to drag Leon into his bed; the moment you step foot inside his room, you can see how severe his depression is. Successfully, you were able to lay him down and remove at least his boots. Leon curled into his blankets and muffled his sobs with his pillows. 

“Do you want me to stay here until you fall asleep?” you ask, sitting on his bed with him, moving his hair from his eyes. He nodded silently. 

Slowly, his sobs turned into sniffs, and Leon finally fell asleep. It took almost an hour to calm him down completely, but now he was safe and sound into a peaceful slumber, or what appears to be. You don’t recall exactly when you fell asleep on his bed, but you certainly remember when you woke up to the sound of his screams. Leon never told you about his nightmares, and you weren’t expecting that. His chest was drenched in sweat, and he seemed like he couldn’t breathe. His eyes were filled with fear, and he was shaking head to toe. 

“Fuck” Leon mutters, his hand running through his hair. 

“What happened?” you ask him after turning the lights on. 

“Just a nightmare…” he whispers, trying to calm down again. 

“How frequent are they?” It was a bold question, but you needed to know. 

“Every night” Leon ignores your glance, focusing on his shaky hands again. 

“Here, drink it” you give him a glass of water with sugar to calm his nerves. You already had that glass with you the moment you went with him to his room. 

“Do you even like me?” Leon suddenly asks you. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You’re so kind, beautiful, and young, with so much in your future” Leon sighs heavily. “Why would you be with a… broken man like me? I have nothing to offer but traumas and the big baggage of my shitty life” 

The pressure you put on biting your lip was so intense that it was enough to cut your skin and make it bleed. 

“Who says you have nothing to offer? I don’t think that’s true. You’re a wonderful person, Leon. I can see it every day when you come to see me at the store. The way you smile whenever you are around me, the way your eyes shine…” you said to him, hoping it would be enough to give him some comfort. “I don’t see you as a broken person or a man with the baggage of a shitty life. I can’t imagine what must have happened to you, and I know it must be difficult and hard because that's what I see, but, Leon, the darkness around you doesn’t define who you are. Whatever life did to you, it doesn't dictate your present or future."

No matter how many kind words you say, it isn’t enough for him. Leon blames himself for what happened, and you know he won’t forget it so soon. How can he? Those men trusted him and followed him, and now, they’re all dead. Leon thinks he should’ve saved them, even though he knows he couldn’t guess the car was about to explode. 

“I wish I could heal your soul so you wouldn’t suffer anymore, but I can’t” you sigh, then look at his hand. “I wish I could fight all of your demons, but I can’t do that. I’m here and I don’t intend to leave you alone” 

After holding his hand, it was the first night Leon actually slept without any more nightmares. When he woke up the next morning, he felt his eyes heavy and he instantly remembered how he cried the night before after his entire squad was murdered. Then, he also remembered that you were there with him the whole time. Finally, he noticed how strange that feeling was - the feeling of being comforted instead of comforting others. It was a strange feeling indeed, but it was a good one. 

Lazily, he stood up from his bed and decided to look at himself in the mirror, washing his face and taking a moment to see the collateral damage caused by the bomb. There were a few bruises and cuts on his skin, but huge purple marks on his shoulder, which he dislocated. It still hurts, but it’s enough to keep him in the real world. He’s still alive.  

“Morning, princess” you greeted him in his kitchen. “I made breakfast” 

“You shouldn’t worry about that, y’know?” Leon says, leaning against his cabinet. 

“Too late for that. Now is my job to worry about ya” you said, opening the cabinet above your head on tiptoe, which made him smirk. “Are you feeling better?” 

“Yeah, I guess so” he says, nodding his head and helping you get the cornflakes. “Thank you… for sticking up with me last night” 

“You know I care about you, right? Since day one” you glance at him with a warm smile. “I really do” 

“I care about you, too” Leon blushes slightly. “More than I can tell” 

You know Leon pretty well at this point and you know he has trouble speaking of his feelings. You know he can’t express himself properly, and you ain’t stupid. You know someone has hurt him before and you understand why he is the way he is. Fortunately, you are very patient, and that’s enough for now, because you don’t mind giving him time and space. 

“I can look at your wounds; maybe I can help” you offered, finishing preparing the breakfast. 

“This means I finally earned your secrets?” Leon asks, a small smile on his lips, as he references the conversation you had with him a few months ago. 

“You surely did." You nodded, smiling. “Let’s eat first, then I’ll take a look at it” 

Leon seemed to enjoy the breakfast you made for him, and, for the first time since you two met, he genuinely seemed happy. However, you knew deep inside he was trying and fighting hard to hide his true feelings; losing his squad certainly shattered him inside, and caused more damage to him than you could ever imagine. 

Leon is a master when it comes to hiding his feelings. All over the years, Leon had built around himself an impenetrable shell, not allowing anyone to get closer, and all of that because he is scared of being hurt again. However, if the explosion never happened, if his men never died the way they did, Leon wouldn’t be pretending he’s fine when you know he’s not. The damage is so intense that you’re afraid he won’t recover. It’ll always be there with him, rotting inside him. 

You weren’t expecting so many wounds all at once, but when he took off his shirt and you saw his bruised skin, you took a deep breath. He had so many marks, so many stories. You wanted to ask, you wanted to know, but Leon wasn’t ready to share it yet. 

“I got this one back in Raccoon City” Leon quietly says, pointing to the scar on his left shoulder. “I got shot” 

“How did this happen?” you decided to ask him as you gently cleaned a few cuts he had.  

“I was helping a woman named Ada Wong to get a sample of G-Virus, and only a scientist named Annette Birkin had this sample. We were trying to find her and, when we did, she started to shoot Ada. I jumped in front of her, that’s why I got shot” Leon sighs, recalling the events that happened in the sewers. 

“This Ada seems very important to you” you smiled at him, cleaning the other cut he had on his neck.  

“She was, but it was a long time ago” Leon avoids your gaze. “Not anymore” 

“She was the one that hurt you?” you ask him very carefully. 

Leon didn’t answer, but his silence speaks for himself. You can see the extension of the damage and how Leon still struggles to deal with whatever happened between him and Ada. He stays silent, maybe trying to understand how his life turned into this mess. Then, he starts to count every time he was betrayed before until this very moment. His blue irises meet yours and all he feels is… peace. There’s no inner storms inside him, he feels completely at ease. 

“If I ask you a favor…” Leon suddenly says, changing the conversation. 

“What do you need?” you ask him without hesitation. 

“Could you come with me to the morgue? There’s something I need to do” Leon sighs, preparing himself for what’s about to happen. 

“Of course. I’ll tell my parents I’ll go to the store later” you nodded, quickly picking up your phone to text them. 

Leon partially felt guilty, but you were so willing to go with him that he changed his mind after you helped him dress himself — the way he dislocated his shoulder still hurts and he has difficulty with it. You drove to the morgue and judging by the interior of the building, you found out Leon was some sort of agent working for the government. You were able to read the name of the organization. Division of Security Operations. 

“So you’re a badass agent, huh?” you ask with enthusiasm as you walk next to him. 

“I wouldn’t say I’m a badass” Leon chuckles, still feeling tense. 

“Well, if you put your neck at stake to save your country, then you’re definitely a badass” you added, giving him a warm smile. 

When you both stepped inside the morgue, he reached out for your hand, seeking any support you could give him. The back wall was a box-shaped cold storage room, and a row of dissecting tables lined the spacious room. And on those dissecting tables were numerous body bags. It's a body bag with the DSO logo on it. Do they really need a logo even on something like this? Irony floated within Leon's chest. Are they planning to sell products with the logo on them, like DSO-branded body bags, DSO-logoed cigarette cases, DSO-logoed pass cases...?

He walked between the body bags to the sound of his boots. Unlike normal bodies, the victims of b.o.w - related incidents were usually sent for examination to specialized research institutions. Although this time the cause of death was due to a bomb, not a zombie attack, the instruction from above was to send the bodies to various laboratories, so they followed suit. This DSO branch’s mortuary was a relay point for passing the bodies from the scene to the laboratory, like a baton in a relay race. It wasn’t easy to simply bury them in a graveyard. The morgue itself wasn’t scary, but the corpses were scary because they stimulated the imagination. 

“Would they suddenly start moving? Would I end up like this too?” Leon thinks to himself a little bit loud, enough for you to hear him.

“You won’t” you whispered, squeezing his hand to let him know you were there.  

Watching the corpses closely would cause a moment where the elongated shadows would appear like monsters. However, that was before Raccoon City. He had seen too many moments where the dead came back to life. 

“I’m not scared of the mortuary anymore; recently, I’ve been thinking about it a lot” Leon frowned as he moved towards the back while swirling his thoughts. He thought he heard a sound from there minutes before. 

“What do you mean?” you ask him with curiosity as he approaches one of the bags. 

“I was constantly thinking about death and ending everything. I was depressed and thought I had no hope left” Leon confessed, his eyes locked on the body bags in front of him. “But now… I don’t think about that anymore”

He glances at you, finally. Slowly, his eyes meet your hand while you’re holding him and there’s a small smile on his lips, then his blue irises find yours again. 

“I used to be scared of the morgue… but coming here with you… is something else” Leon says next. “I couldn’t do this alone” 

“I’m glad I can help” you said to him with your usual kindness. 

But he stops and turns his attention back to the body bags and sighs. His entire demeanor changed and suddenly, he found himself fighting hard to keep doing this. He needed that. He owed his men at least this final goodbye. 

“What kind of adult did I want to become when I was a child?” Leon thinks to himself as he approached one of the body bags. 

The zipper was slightly open, and the body bag seemed like it was about to move any moment. It’s common for something that seems like it’s about to move to actually move.

Leon carelessly closed the zipper. Was it because of the sharp sound that, suddenly, another body bag bounced behind him? Inside the body bag, the zombie was wiggling and struggling. It seemed unhappy, as if it had been woken up from a deep sleep by force. Leon pulled out his gun from his holster and squeezed the trigger. 

“What kind of adult did I want to become? I definitely didn’t want a life like this” 

V. ACCEPTANCE 

After everything that happened with his squad, Leon knew he needed time off of his office. Decided to get his mind off everything and take a break, Leon chose the Rocky Mountains in Colorado as his destination. Instead of going there alone, he thought it would be good to spend more time with you, mostly because he felt safe around you and due to the nature of his job and everything he saw, he needed to feel that safety only you provided him.  

You had to explain to your parents why you would be going on a vacation, but they understood with no problems; they didn’t know about Leon because you were fearing some trouble because of the age gap, so you felt they weren’t exactly ready to meet him. How could you explain to them you were apparently dating a man eleven years older than you? It would be one hell of a surprise. 

It was 9 a.m. in the mountainous area near Rocky Mountain National Park, located in northern Colorado. The national park was about a two-hour drive from the state capital, Denver. Along the way, there were several viewpoints where numerous travelers parked their cars to enjoy the scenic beauty. Even in the mountainous region of the Rockies, the mountains around this area were not exceptionally high. They were just before the tree line, covered with spruce and fir trees on the subalpine slopes. The forest appeared like a beautifully groomed brush, while wildflowers bloomed modestly, sheltered by large rocks.

“This place is incredible” you sound mesmerized by the incredible view from the hotel. 

“You haven’t been in places like this before?” Leon asks you with curiosity. 

“I barely leave my house” you chuckle, leaving your bag on the bed. “I just work at my parent’s store and go to college” 

“It feels like I’m dating a baby” Leon chuckles, also leaving his bag next to yours. 

“We’re dating, huh?” you teased, taking off your sneakers. 

“Yeah, we are” Leon nods his head, smiling. “I know I haven’t officially asked you, but I’m too old for that” 

“It’s fine, old man. I’m just messing with you” you said, playing with his fingers. 

“Old man? Now I’m offended” Leon teases back, smiling. 

“You said it first” you replied to him, your hands reaching his brown hair. “By the way… I have something for you” 

Leon glanced at you, frowning. The mischievous smile on your lips immediately told him you were planning something. He sat up on the bed and kept his eyes fixed on you, waiting patiently for whatever you were about to do. 

“I got you a birthday present” you said with enthusiasm, catching him by surprise. “I know I’m a few days late, but I wanted to give you something for your 37th birthday” 

“You didn’t have to” Leon whispered in shock as you gave him the small box. 

He unwrapped the present you gave him and found a beautiful dagger, silver and shining, also pretty sharp. Leon knew immediately that you probably paid a lot on that and he felt bad. He took a deep breath and glanced at you. 

“This was very expensive. You shouldn’t waste your money with me like that” Leon says to you. 

“It’s a gift. You can’t give it back” you said to him, a hint of playfulness in your voice as you insisted for him to keep it. 

“That’s not fair” Leon complains, laughing softly. 

“It’s pretty fair to me, though” you said to him, smirking. “It’s just a dagger, not a diamond or something related. I know your job is kind of dangerous and you might need it” 

“Okay, you win. I’ll take it” Leon sighs in defeat. “About my job… I know I haven’t been extremely open about it, but…” 

“It’s okay, I don’t want you to feel forced to share this with me if you don’t feel ready” you stopped him before he could finish his sentence. 

“I wish I could be more open to you” Leon glanced at his hands, feeling bad because of that. 

“Start simple and small. You don’t have to tell me absolutely everything at once” you placed your hand on his shoulder, petting him. 

“Simple and small? How could I do that?” Leon frowned at the idea. He always thought it was impossible to open up about his trauma. 

You pondered for a few moments, thinking about a way to help him talk about his issues in a positive way. 

“Start with something like… why don't you like dogs?” you suggested. A while ago you noticed Leon had a certain aversion to dogs. 

“I… um… I was attacked by dogs in Raccoon City. They weren’t common dogs, they were infected, something like that” Leon found himself surprised by the way he spoke about this issue so easily. “Then, at Spain, I had a few encounters with wolves also infected with a parasite, monstrous things” 

“See? That one was pretty easy” you said, encouraging him to keep talking. “Wanna try to say something else?” 

Leon thought about your question for minutes; inside his head, everything that has happened to him was like an endless movie. The trauma, the pain and the events that seem to be haunting him to this day. It was hard to pick one, but then, he reminds himself of your words of being simple and small. He takes a deep breath and quietly, he convinces himself that he can do this. 

“Back at Raccoon City, it was my first day at the force and I was 21 at the time” Leon starts, his eyes focused on something else. “I was late, but I think that’s why I’m still alive” 

While he was telling you the horrors he saw, you gently placed your hand on his, to let him know you’re there for him. It was a simple and kind gesture, but for him, it meant the world. Leon was only familiar with danger and brutality, so having you by his side providing comfort was enough to penetrate the depth of his former persona. It was enough to rescue the rookie cop buried inside those walls. 

“After that night… everything changed. I’m here because of what I did to survive and I’m not exactly proud of it. I can’t stop blaming myself for my past actions, but…” Leon suddenly stops, taking another deep breath. 

“You can’t control everything around you, Leon. And not everything that happens to us is our fault. You couldn’t know you were going to be stalked and nearly killed on your first day… you didn't know that there was a virus outbreak in Raccoon City that night…” you said to him, placing your hand on his shoulder. “You need to understand that this isn’t your baggage to carry. What happened that day wasn’t your fault” 

Leon had your words playing on repeat inside his head. Even though he was early in the morning drinking his sorrows away, he was still thinking about what you said. He also felt partially guilty for leaving you asleep in the bed while he was drinking, but the other part of him told you knew him pretty well and you wouldn’t be judging him for this. His head was a roller coaster and at this very moment, he wasn’t at the top. 

Leon sat on the first floor of a lodge-style hotel in the rural town. The hotel was two stories tall, made of reinforced concrete, but designed to resemble traditional log construction. There was only one waiter and one chef, making it far from a trendy establishment — a rather run-down place. He was having breakfast in the first-floor restaurant. Though the restaurant wasn't popular, the food was decent. Approaching footsteps came from behind him — two sets of them.

"--To come fully armed to such a peaceful town," Leon said without turning around.

"Leon S. Kennedy, the ace of the DSO, a special agent organization directly under the President of the United States," a voice replied.

Finally, he turned around to see Chris Redfield and Rebecca Chambers standing there.

"Chris and... oh, the renowned expert in biohazard research, Professor Rebecca Chambers. What do you want?" he asked.

"It's work. Cooperate," Chris said in an uncompromising tone.

Chris and Rebecca sat across from him. And it was noticeable that he wore an annoyed expression. 

"I'm on vacation." 

"...In the past, while protecting the President's daughter, Ashley Graham, you fought and annihilated the cult group Los Illuminados. They were using special bio-organic weapons called Plagas," Chris said.

"I've forgotten about that old stuff," Leon replied simply.

"Do you plan on loafing around in this town for another week?" Chris asked.

"I don't know what will happen in the future," Leon retorted.

"Beer, please," Rebecca chuckled at the reference to an old movie, while Chris wore an unamused expression.

Leon called over a passing waitress with a casual wave to place his order, but Chris interrupted him.

"Cancel the beer."

"No, it's not canceled."

“Come on… what the fuck?!”

"I don't need any more alcohol."

"Cut it out. What's going on?"

"That's my line."

The waitress looked between the two of them suspiciously and before walking away. Eventually, Leon pulled out a flask from his back pocket and took a swig as a substitute for the additional order that couldn't be fulfilled.

"You–!" Chris leaned forward.

"Enough, both of you," Rebecca interjected. "--Leon. We apologize for disturbing your vacation. However, we need the information you possess," Rebecca said.

Finally, Leon showed a willingness to listen.

"...What's the situation?" he asked.

Chris and Rebecca had to explain to him what happened earlier at the university. The case was simple. Glenn Arias was a new threat and they needed to stop him at all costs. However, they didn’t know how Leon was suffering inside; they couldn’t know about the recent events. Leon wearily intertwines his gestures and continues, 

"Just before I took my vacation... I was involved in a DSO mission in Bethesda to apprehend a treacherous senator who was selling internal information to a bioterrorist organization." 

The disgusted irritation was evident in his movements, his expression, and his voice. 

"You know..." Leon begins. "Here's the thing: the informant we used betrayed us. We fell into a trap instead. A massive explosion killed many of my colleagues... and then there was the incident with the resurrection of the corpses you guys were involved in... It's all a mess," 

Leon explains, letting out a heavy sigh. It's a sigh that escapes unintentionally, like a burden he carries.

"I had planned to become a police officer in Raccoon City. It was my dream job. But on my first day, there was a massive zombie outbreak, and from there... it never stopped," Leon pauses and shakes his head. "I've been fighting this whole time. There's no end in sight, and it only keeps getting worse. Have I been living just to fight zombies and the people who create them?"

"What are you trying to say? That you don't want to cooperate with us?" Chris asks.

"It's not that..." Leon's tone is uncertain, "Well, maybe it is."

With a hesitant tone, Leon continues

“What exactly is our goal? How far do we have to run? Do we have to keep running endlessly? The villains keep coming, one after another, while the good people keep dying. Maybe it's better to lose our minds."

Then, Chris found himself forced to explain to Leon what they were facing. He showed pictures of Cathy White, the agent that was turned into a bio-weapon. And worse, her son she killed. He showed the photos taken during the autopsy and how Glenn turned people into something else purely because of power. 

"Killing him is the goal," Chris declares.

"That's only your goal, not mine," Leon retorts, his voice filled with resentment.

Tension fills the air between them once again.

"Hey," Rebecca interrupts, breaking the silence just as she did before. "So, Leon, you're exhausted," Rebecca points at Leon and then gestures to Chris. "And Chris, you're frustrated. There's one thing both tired people and irritable people have in common."

"What do we have in common?" Chris asks in response.

They both look at each other with a wide-eyed grin.

"You only think about yourselves," Rebecca replies. 

"I–" Chris tries to interject, but Rebecca continues. 

"Chris, all you talk about is wanting to kill Glenn Arias. After helping me, you didn't say a single word mourning the sacrifices of our colleagues. Leon, you're acting like a college student in their moratorium period. People get tired of running. But if we stop running, more people will lose their lives."

Rebecca takes out a trigger-activated needleless syringe from her small bag. In front of the bewildered duo, she abruptly presses the syringe against her left forearm and pulls the trigger, causing her blood to collect in the test tube attached to the syringe.

"I'll tell you something important. We're already infected," she says.

"What?" Leon's expression tightens in response.

Rebecca continues speaking in a tone reminiscent of a teacher addressing a poor student. 

"The truth is, it's difficult to estimate just how many people have been infected by Arias' new virus. The problem is, we don't know the identity of the trigger that activates it."

As she speaks, Rebecca removes the test tube from the syringe and seals it with a cap.

"The virus is activated by something only Arias knows. When that happens, the dead rise, and living humans become bio-weapons."

Rebecca glances lightly at Leon. 

"If things continue like this, this city will eventually become a living hell. There won't be any safe places."

Leon remains silent, averting his gaze.

"Just so you know, a prototype of the antivirus has been developed," Rebecca says. "It actually worked on me. However, the effectiveness of the antivirus is unstable without knowing the conditions for the activation of Arias' virus. When to administer it and how long it remains effective..."

Rebecca then places the sealed test tube into a small protective case and puts it on the table. 

"My blood should provide valuable data. If I die, make sure it reaches a reputable research institution that you can trust."

"You're not in danger. We'll protect you," Chris says firmly.

"What?" Leon asks, confused.

"It seems like you're misunderstanding, BSAA soldier," Rebecca lightly dismisses Chris's assumption.

There’s a slight smirk on Leon’s lips as he hears that. 

"The forefront of pandemic response is not the BSAA, but the research field. How many doctors and colleagues do you think I've seen die in conflict-ridden African countries or small Middle Eastern nations used as testing grounds for bio-weapons?" Rebecca questions.

Chris tries to say something in response, but his voice gets stuck in his throat, and only faint breaths escape.

"After I left the team, you two might have fought against plenty of mad scientists. But science can only be countered with science. Unless benevolent technology advances, we will never have a chance of winning. We fight not only for ourselves but for others. Have you both understood at least a little of what I'm saying?" Rebecca asks.

She stands up and adds, "Cool your heads," before leaving her seat.

"She's a great woman," Leon comments.

"We can't handle it on our own," Chris remarks, watching Rebecca leave, and he and Leon exchanged a wry smile. 

And then, here it comes. The urge to talk about what happened one year ago. 

"Leon, China was tough," Chris says, referring to that incident.

"Yeah, it was like a zombie version of Black Hawk Down." he nods in response. 

"At that time, I wanted to quit the BSAA so badly," Chris admits, surprising Leon, "After getting involved with Umbrella, I witnessed too many deaths. We..." 

Chris trails off. His expression was heavy, as if lead had settled in the depths of his heart. Then Chris realized: Why does it make me so angry to see him like this? He was too much like his old self.

"It makes you want to quit... makes me want to quit," Chris says, emphasizing his point. Leon falls into silence. And Chris delivers the final blow. "But, the moment we quit, all of our subordinates and friends will have died in vain. We are the survivors of Raccoon City. We carry that burden."

Chris falls silent, and the air becomes still. The waitress looks annoyed by the silence. For a few moments, there’s nothing but the said silence. 

"Leon, I always thought you were a cheerful guy no matter what," Chris breaks the silence.

"No one is like that," Leon replies, “Well… I’m not. I've always been a stress-tolerant guy. I've been able to do what I've done because of it. But now look back on it. In Tall Oaks, I killed the president.”

"Technically, you had to save the President infected with the virus," Chris quickly adds, trying to provide some context.

“But,” Leon shakes his head, "But the fact remains that I pulled the trigger, I shot him, and I was even suspected of assassinating the President afterward. Although I managed to clear my name, the mastermind behind that incident turned out to be the President's aide. The DSO was once called the 'Sword of the President,' but now it sounds ironically fitting."

Chris remains silent, attentively listening to Leon's words.

"Chris," Leon continues. "I've returned to active duty, but every time I face the new President, I feel anxious. I can sense his unease as well. The President's aide had sold his soul to B.O.W. terrorism. Who's next? The Secretary of Defense? The Vice President? What's become of the foundation that supports the soldiers in the field? They keep using us, while the higher-ups continue to flounder, grow bloated... They only think about shifting blame onto others."

He pauses for a moment. There’s so much pain. 

Leon furrows his brow and lowers his voice. "Perhaps the reason entities like Umbrella persist is that our society harbors a fundamental evil... I can't help but feel that way now."

Even agreeing with this stupid mission, Leon can’t go without saying goodbye. He feels guilty, but the moment he sees you, everything feels completely right. He sat at the bed, watching you perfectly asleep, imagining what kind of dreams you were having. Leon sighs and shakes his head. 

“Hey, sweetheart” Leon says when he sees you waking up. 

“Hi” you whisper, rubbing your eyes. 

“Listen… something happened and my colleagues need me. Will you be okay here?” he asks you, his thumb trailing your cheek. 

“Will you come back?” you ask him, sounding a little groggy. 

“And leave my baby girl here all alone? Of course I’ll come back” he smiles sweetly at you. 

“Ok… I’ll be here” you nodded your head, closing your eyes to go back to sleep. 

Something about you made him see, for the first time, the bright side of things. Maybe it was the fact that you were younger than him, and also the fact that you were full of energy - he was just an old and bitter man. But, hey, he’s learning how to cope with every shit that has happened to him. 

Before you, Leon was ready to die. 

He was ready to embrace death, he already had made peace with his inner demons. But everything changed when you came into his life. Suddenly, he thought he could live and find happiness and death wasn’t in his thoughts anymore. It was like you were able to bring him back from his darkness. He wasn’t rotting inside. You were able to rescue him from himself and return the light he needed. 

But if he thought he wasn’t close to death, he was wrong. Leon never thought he would face something like Glenn Arias and come close to death, but he had his job to do. Chris needed his help and Leon finally found closure to something that was weighing on his head; the death of his squad wasn’t his fault and he found the real culprit. He found the peace he was desperately looking for. And he was able to see another sunrise and come back to you. 

It was a repetitive cycle. Leon recently started to wonder if anything he did was futile. That's why he took a vacation and drowned his sorrows in alcohol. It was a kind of protest, perhaps. A protest against the grand concepts of this world and destiny. A statement of "I’m not going on like this forever, I’m not going to do it," or something of that sort. But fate was cruel. In the end, human life rarely goes well by one's own choices. Perhaps humans are merely chosen by fate without their consent. Yet, Leon now felt that it was okay like that. Being chosen doesn't make him a hero by default. He becomes a hero reluctantly because he was chosen. And that's fine. 

The merged form approached Leon with an eerie growl, swinging its massive fist. Leon leaped back to dodge it, and the merged form's punch shattered one of the spires on the rooftop into tiny fragments. It had the destructive power of a construction hammer, with each strike resembling the impact of a tank cannon round. Leon intentionally slid and jumped into the merged form's feet, thinking that at such a large size, close range might become a blind spot. He positioned himself beneath the massive body, lying on his back and firing his handgun. The shots were practically point-blank, but they were still deflected by the hardened muscles and exoskeleton. 

"Doesn't matter," Leon muttered involuntarily. "I'll do whatever it takes, even if it's futile. Today's a good day to die anyway."

The merged form kicked out.

The enemy's movements were deceptively swift, and Leon was sent flying as if hit by a car. His body tumbled through the air until it finally collided with a gargoyle statue, coming to a stop. The impact was so intense that his breath nearly ceased. However, the merged form continued its pursuit. It threw a straight punch, a blow that would surely result in instant death if landed, but Leon managed to evade it with a jump. Not only did he dodge it, but in mid-air, Leon twisted his body and unleashed a spinning kick. His boot-clad foot connected with the grotesque face of the merged form.

Whether it would have any effect or not didn't matter. This strike was my will. Of course, a kick from a mere human wouldn't have any effect. The merged form retaliated with its opposite hand, grabbing hold of Leon.

"Gah!" A groan escaped Leon's throat involuntarily. The massive fist tightened around him like a vice, and within a few seconds, he felt himself being crushed like a tomato.

"Leon!" Chris emerged from the penthouse.

In his fading consciousness, Leon thought about you. The way you smiled whenever you were with him and the sweet perfume you love to use. The way your hands embrace him at night, helping him sleep safely, without any nightmares to harm him. And then, he doesn’t want to die anymore. Please, God, don’t let me die this way. 

Chris picked up the fully automatic handgun that Arias had dropped along the way and unleashed a barrage of bullets at the merged form. For a brief moment, it seemed like the merged form's focus shifted, and its grip loosened slightly, but that was all.

Was my life meant to end here, crushed by this grotesque monster? Leon wondered, his pessimism threatens to shatter him. Leon wasn't the type to easily get this depressed or overthink things too much. Still, he felt more than a little exhausted.

What kind of adult did I want to become when I was a child? I never imagined I would be burdened with the stigma of assassinating a president. At least, I didn't want a life like this ― It doesn't matter what I want. There's no such thing as a person who can live the life they desire. Arias must have felt the same way. In the end…

VI. ABSOLUTION

When he came back, you noticed something inside him had changed. 

After the fight with Arias, Leon noticed that life was much more than death, darkness and depression. At least, he started to think like that when he almost got killed. And his only thought was coming back to you. No, he couldn’t die like that and leave you alone. His arm was injured, but he was alive. And he was back. 

“What happened to your arm?” you asked him when you saw him entering the room. 

“Remember that day in the morgue when you told me I was a badass government agent?” Leon asks you back, sitting on the bed next to you. 

“Yep, I do” you nodded, starting to massage his tense muscles. 

“Well… I’m not this kind of agent. I work under the president’s orders. I fight bioweapons for a living… since that hell in Raccoon City” Leon sighs, finally opening about his job. 

“Bioweapons? Like zombies and shit?” you ask him with curiosity. 

“Worse than zombies, but yes” Leon nodded with a slight smirk. “It’s dangerous, and this time I nearly got killed… thing is, my job requires a lot of my time, it forces me to not be around for God knows how long. It scares me because I don’t know if you can live this chaotic life with me…” 

“Wait, wait, wait… slow down” you held his hand and squeezed it softly. “Everyone deserves a second chance in life, Leon. You were alone for too much time and I don’t mind if you need to go somewhere else to fight bioweapons. If this means I get to see these pretty eyes of yours and this sweet smile every time you come home… I’m willing to live this chaotic life with you” 

Leon couldn’t believe your words. After being deprived of something so human and getting used to it, Leon felt he was about to explode. It was too much for him to handle. At this point, he knew perfectly he was experiencing anxiety. But it was a good one. 

“I don’t want you to get hurt. If we do this, I’m gonna get you wrapped up in something bad someday… and I’ll never forgive myself if this happens” Leon tells you, sounding extremely worried.

“I know you won’t let anything bad happen to me. And besides, I can take care of myself. I made self defense classes” you laugh sweetly, a symphony to his ears. 

“Are you sure?” Leon asks, and those big puppy eyes of his wanting nothing but assurance.

“Honey, if this wasn’t true, I wouldn’t be here” you chuckled, kissing his forehead. 

After what happened, you decided to introduce Leon to your family as your boyfriend. But before that, you convinced him he needed to improve a little. Getting rid of the alcohol was the first step. He started to see a therapist and work harder on his issues, which influenced a lot of your relationship. He was more happy and willing to do things he and you both liked. One year after that incident with his squad being killed and his mission with his friends, you noticed he was ready to meet your parents. 

“I’m nervous” Leon tells you when you both were entering your home. 

“Why? It’s not like we’ve been dating secretly for almost three years. Besides, they’ll think you’re cute, don’t worry” you giggled at him. 

“I’m not so sure about that” he muttered, following you inside your parents place.

You could clearly tell how anxious he was. However, he always felt at ease on your side, and it was like you had the power to make him relax, like nothing could harm him and the world was finally at peace. When you stepped inside the house with Leon right behind you for a Christmas dinner, your parents were already expecting both of you. 

“Mom, dad… this is Leon. The guy I was talking about” you introduced him to your parents with certain expectations. 

“You clearly got my taste for man” Leon heard your mom whispering to you, which made his cheeks turn red. 

“So… um… how long are you two hanging out?” your dad asked and you glanced quickly at Leon. 

“Three years, I guess. We met at the store” you tell your parents. “I didn’t tell you before because Leon has a busy schedule. He’s not always in town, so…” 

“Well, moonpie, if you’re happy, we’re happy too” your mom says with a gracious smile on her lips. 

Leon wasn’t expecting to be so welcomed into your family, but the fact that your parents treated him so kindly melted his heart. He got himself thinking about the dinner for at least one week, mostly because part of him was still thinking it was weird to receive so much kindness and affection, especially coming from a real family. He wasn’t expecting to be playing cards with your dad while you and your mom were in the kitching talking about girl’s stuff, but it was enough to make him see he made the right choice. That it was okay for him to finally experience love. 

“I like your light brown hair now that you finally stopped dying it” you said, sitting between his legs in the living room. 

“My emo era is over” he chuckles sweetly, like a melody. 

“May it rest in peace” you made the signal of the cross. “

“Changing the subject, tomorrow I gotta go to San Francisco. Work stuff” he says to you, softly kissing your neck. 

“Yeah? Am I getting some gift?” you whisper, feeling the shivers down your spine with his lips against your skin. 

“Do I ever go on a mission and come back empty handed?” Leon asks you, his soft lips pressing more against your neck and you can feel him softly biting you. 

The thing is, Leon is like a porcelain doll. He needs to be treated with softness and kindness, because deep down, he is vulnerable. The way his lips met your skin was a clear sign that he was ready for you. He was finally ready to be yours. However, loving Leon also needed patience, and after three years, you could tell he wanted that too. 

“Do you want to do this before you leave, handsome?” you ask him teasingly, holding his hands as he keeps kissing your neck. 

“Yes, I do,” he nods, almost moaning in your ear. 

He gently took you to his bedroom, the place was almost a sanctuary for him. He laid you down on his bed and removed his shirt, and this time, he didn’t seem ashamed of himself. You stood up from his bed and sat him on the edge, your hands trailing down his skin like he was a roller coaster. He closed his eyes, his breath soft and calm, although he anticipated what was about to happen. Leon craved for you. 

“I’ll take care of you” you whispered, leaving soft kisses across his neck and chest. 

You sat gently between his legs, your sweet and soft fingers removing his pants and reaching his already hardened cock. He sat there, observing you with those big and blue puppy eyes, like he was savoring your image. When you took all his length inside your mouth and gently started to suck him, Leon felt he was in heaven. It felt so good, so powerful. 

Tears started to fall from his eyes and he cried. Not because you were hurting him, dear lord, of course not! It was because he finally felt that he deserved to be loved. Your tongue did an amazing job on his cock and when he came, he felt his body at ease. Leon moaned with the sudden sensation, it was stronger than he last remembered. But it was because of you. 

“I love you” he says when you touch his face, wiping his tears. 

Loving Leon needed patience, you knew that already. 

However, living with him brought new challenges that you weren’t expecting at all. He would be gone for weeks, then he comes back out of nowhere. He always forgets to send you a message to let you know he’s coming back, but that’s okay, because his lack of patience to deal with technology amuses you. He always sends an emoji out of context, which makes you laugh and you find it very cute when he gets disappointed for misunderstanding those little and yellow faces. He’s getting there, don’t worry about that. 

When he’s at home, things turn out differently. He always helps you with the chores, likes to tease you whenever you’re cooking his favorite meal and at the end of the day, you two are together on the couch watching some silly movie while he complains about it and softly scratches your leg. Sharing a domestic life was something he never thought he would have, not after everything he went through alone. 

Now that he's back from whatever he did in San Francisco, you have another job to do. Tend to his injuries. It’s a small sacrifice to pay whenever he comes back hurt; this time he has purple marks all over his body and face. You don’t ask what on earth happened, because you know he can’t really give details, but at least he’s safe and sound with you again. 

“Stop moving, old man!” you tell him, trying to clean a small cut he had on his neck. 

“That hurts,” Leon replied back, flinching slightly. 

“I know, but someone has to clean it” you rolled your eyes, applying a Barbie band-aid on his neck. 

“Please, don’t tell me I got the Barbie thing on my neck” Leon closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. 

“Next time I’ll get you a cat one” you wink playfully at him. 

After so many death experiences and the inner wish of being dead, he’s glad that he found the absolution that he always wanted. He looks at you with amusement, part of him finds it hard to believe that he’s so lucky to have you, but the other part is glad that you are real and you love him for who he really is. You took every damaged part of him and loved with such intensity that it was enough to bring him back from that dark place he was at. He forgave himself, allowed his soul to heal and to be loved. Life had gifted him with the second chance to live, made him see the beautiful things again. You took him in when he was on the lower part of his life, and your love brought him back. He knows he’s getting older, but he doesn’t mind spending his days with you, because you are the only thing in his life that makes sense.

And he’s fine with that. 

[crdteezv]

Scream - Haechan

Paring: !perv!ghostface!haechan x f! reader (ft. jaemin)

Genre: college au, halloween, smut

Synopsis: Haechan has always been watching, his obsession with you deepening into something possessive and consuming. He's jealous of Jaemin and frustrated that, despite his toxic behavior, you’re still drawn to him. Haechan is set on having you all to himself, and your Halloween party was his best shot... 

Warnings: smut. perv/hard dom! haechan, the reader in a situationship with jaemin (he is kind of toxic…), haechan and jaemin are roommates, cheating (depending on how you see it…), non to dub-con, stalker/yandere subthemes, possessive, degradation/praise, rough sex, cumplay (nothing too crazy), knife play(no blood involved), mask kink (but he takes off later on), slight somno, dacryphilia, sadism/masochism, rope play, choking, dirty talk, teasing, kissing, oral (giving), fingering/finger sucking, manhandling, size difference, overstimulation, unprotected sex 

Word Count: 11.4k words (officially my longest fic…)

A/n: Since Halloween is today, I wanted to make something a little special for Haechan. I want to clarify that I do love Jaemin; I only made him toxic for the sake of the plot😭. Fair warning this is pretty dark so if you don’t like it, don’t read it.  I DON’T CONDONE ANY OF THE ACTS DONE IN THIS FIC. 

Haechan was obsessed with you the moment he laid his eyes on you. At first, it was a simple infatuation; he liked to admire you from afar. He always thought you were very pretty and would often stare at you in history class. You obviously didn’t know each other, and he would sit far in the back.

He was starting to shake off his little crush until he noticed that his roommate Jaemin showed an interest in you. Haechan was never really the jealous type, but seeing the way you looked at Jaemin drove him insane. It didn't help that Jaemin always talked about you to him, forcing Haechan to act like he cared.

In reality, he wanted to kill Jaemin simply for being with you.

Haechan tried multiple times during class to approach you and start a conversation, but you always left too quickly or were too busy talking to your friends. So, he took a more subtle approach, leaving notes in your bag when you weren’t looking. At first, they were harmless compliments about how pretty you looked and how he liked your style.

But soon, it escalated.

He began detailing what he would do to you once he had his hands on you and how he would care for you. One time, he noticed you reading those notes in class after you returned from the bathroom and sat down in your seat. The way you squirmed and pressed your thighs together made him instantly hard.

The thought of how much he was affecting you drove him wild.

But in your mind, you thought it was Jaemin leaving these notes. He always drives you to school, and you figured he snuck the notes into your bag every time he drops you off. You planned to ask him about it, but when you did, he told you he wasn’t the one behind the notes.

“Wait, what?” you asked, surprised.

“Yeah, it’s not me. I’m flattered you think I’m that much of a romantic, but I’m not shy about my feelings for you and I wouldn’t need to write them on some post-it note,” he chuckled.

You felt flustered and taken aback by his comment, but now you were confused about who wrote the notes.

“Then if it’s not you, then who is it?”

“I don’t know. Looks like you’ve got a secret admirer,” he said playfully.

“Oh, shut up,” you replied, laughing.

“It’s too bad, though. The poor guy doesn’t stand a chance since you’re mine.”

He was always smooth with his words, and you fell for them every single time. Meanwhile, Haechan was hiding nearby, hearing the entire conversation. He wanted to go over and punch Jaemin for making fun of his crush on you, but he held himself back.

As time passed, you and Jaemin grew closer, sometimes hanging out in his dorm. He often mentioned his roommate Haechan, describing him as quiet and reserved. Although Jaemin was friendly, he sometimes sensed that Haechan didn’t like him, and he couldn't understand why.

One night, you planned to spend the night with Jaemin. You wore a loose crop top that exposed your shoulders and short shorts that highlighted your thighs and curves. Stepping out of his room for a moment to grab snacks for your movie night, you felt comfortable navigating the space.

As you walked into the kitchen, you noticed Haechan cooking food for himself. This was the first time you had seen him up close; he wore a black hoodie pulled over his head and joggers. You gave him a slight smile and introduced yourself, but he couldn’t meet your gaze, distracted by the way your shirt clung to your figure and how well your shorts accentuated your curves.

“So, what’s your name?” you asked.

He snapped back to reality at your question. “Oh, I-I’m Haechan.”

Leaning closer, you studied his features, as if he looked familiar. “Wait, you’re in my history class, right?”

He was shocked that you even noticed him, considering he sat in the back. “Um, yeah. How did you know?” He chuckled awkwardly.

“I remember you presenting your project with my friend Mark.”

“Oh yeah! He and I are pretty good friends. I wanted to live in a dorm with him this semester, but it didn’t work out, unfortunately.”

“Bummer! At least you have Jaemin; he’s pretty great right?”

Haechan felt a surge of anger at how highly you spoke of Jaemin, but he masked it well. “Yeah, he’s cool. We usually just stay in our rooms and keep to ourselves. Anyway, are you looking for something?”

You were so focused on your conversation that you nearly forgot what you came for. “Ah, that’s right! Thanks for reminding me. I was looking for snacks for me and Jaemin and wondered if you could tell me where they are.”

“Uh, check the lower cabinet down there; if not, maybe try the top shelf over there,” he replied.

You bent down to check the lower cabinets, unknowingly putting your ass on display for Haechan. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from you, cursing under his breath as he began to feel aroused. Realizing the position you were in, you stood up straight.

“Oh, I’m sorry for bending down like that. I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable. Also, I don’t see any snacks down there, so I’m going to check the top shelf,” you said.

Haechan found it adorable how flustered you were, and it only made him like you more.

“Ah, it’s okay. Are you sure you can reach it though? He puts them up pretty high.”

“Ah, I’ll be fine.”

You made your way over to the counter next to him and reached up for the bag of chips, still having to get on your tiptoes. He noticed your crop top ride up slightly, revealing a hint of your underboob.

He was starting to lose his mind.

Thoughts raced through his mind—what if you were doing this on purpose? Maybe you were just teasing him. Or maybe it was all in his head, and he was just being a pervert.

But he couldn’t keep watching you struggle like this, so he stopped what he was doing for a moment, got behind you, and grabbed the chips without fail. Your backside pressed against him, and he felt your warmth, sending shivers down your spine.

You also felt something…hard?

He pulled the bag of chips away and gave you a smirk. Embarrassed, you couldn’t meet his gaze.

This was such a boost to his ego.

He knew exactly what he was doing when he pressed his hard-on against your ass. This was the boldest move he had ever made on you.

“Here you go.”

He handed you the chips with a smile.

“T-thanks! You didn’t have to do that.”

“Um, I think I did. You were struggling a bit there,” he teased with a chuckle.

You playfully nudged his shoulder and told him to shut up. You both laughed it off. Just then, Jaemin approached the kitchen, realizing you were taking a long time getting the snacks.

“Hey, baby, what’s taking you so lo—”

He stopped speaking when he saw the position you were both in, confusion flashing across his face. You quickly returned to normal, with Haechan cooking and you closing the snack cabinet.

“Uh, what’s going on here?”

“Oh, your little girlfriend here was struggling to grab the snacks on the top shelf, so I had to help her out.”

“Oh, please! I really could’ve gotten it on my own if you weren’t here.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Jaemin noticed the playful banter between the two of you and felt a twinge of annoyance.

“First of all, she isn’t my girlfriend, and second, it seems like you two know each other.”

You didn’t know why, but hearing him say that felt unsettling. You knew he didn’t want to put a label on things yet, but you felt like you were practically in a relationship. You didn’t want to cause a scene in front of Haechan, so you slowly made your way over to Jaemin with the snacks and said, “Not really; I just found out that we have the same class together.”

“Oh, small world, huh?”

You laughed it off and made your way back into Jaemin's dorm room, leaving him alone with Haechan. It seemed Haechan had finished cooking his food and was heading back to his room.

“Dude, what the fuck was that about? I’ve never seen this talkative whenever I bring people over.”

“Hey, she was the one who talked to me first. I just wanted to make conversation. Besides—”

Haechan walked over and placed a hand on Jaemin's shoulder. “You’ve such a good girl on your hands, and you shouldn’t have anything to worry about.”

He walked away with his food, heading back to his room. Haechan had been wanting to get under Jaemin's skin for weeks, wanting to show him how it felt to be in his shoes. The look on Jaemin's face when he saw the two of you close together was priceless.

Jaemin felt annoyed, sensing the patronizing tone in Haechan's voice. He stormed back into his room and yelled, “I don’t want you talking to him anymore!”

You were confused by his sudden outburst and startled. “What are you even talking about?”

“Oh, don’t act all stupid and innocent. I saw the way he was looking at you.”

“Okay, I think you’re overreacting. I barely know the guy, and this was our first time interacting. I think you’re making a big deal—”

“No, I’m not. Just trust me when I say I have a bad feeling about him, alright?”

“Whatever. Why do you care? I’m not your girlfriend, right?”

He instantly remembered what he had said to Haechan earlier, knowing you would bring it up.

“Listen, baby—”

“Oh, don’t start with this shit again. I’m sick of you treating me this way.”

“But you know I didn’t want to put a label on us yet.”

He always said the same thing: that he wasn’t ready and didn’t want to be serious.  How long would it take for him to recognize your feelings?  You was starting to get fed up with him.

“Then why am I even here with you if you don’t want to take me seriously?”

“Oh, please. We both know why you wanted to spend the night here.”

You hated how entitled he was toward you. You genuinely wanted to spend some quality time together without any expectation of sex, but that was all he seemed to think you were good for. Your anger got the best of you, and you slapped him across the face.

“You’re such a jerk. I wanted to spend time with you and enjoy your company, but all you can think about is sex. It’s pathetic.”

You started to grab your things and get ready to leave. He reached out and grabbed your arm.

“Hey, where do you think you’re going?”

You shrugged him off, shot him a cold look, and said, “Home. I don’t want to be with someone who only sees me as a hookup.” With that, you slammed his door behind you.

Haechan overheard the entire conversation and threw his fists in the air. He hated how Jaemin treated you and knew you deserved better—someone like him. One way or another, he was going to make you his.

Whenever he saw you in class, you would smile and wave, but that was it. He tried to talk to you, but you would avoid him. You needed space and time to heal from the situation, and this infuriated Haechan because he thought he was getting closer to you after your conversation.

So, he took it to the next level.

He tried to learn everything about you. At first, he looked for your social media, which was easy since you were mutuals with Jaemin. Haechan never followed you, of course, but he would scroll through your posts and may or may not have jerked off to some of them. He stalked you whenever you got off work and went home since you didn’t live on campus but close to the school.

He watched you almost every night, admiring your beauty. He thought about how he could sneak into your room late at night when everyone in your house was sleeping, but he knew he couldn’t pull it off unless you were alone.

Luckily for him, Mark mentioned that your parents would be out for the week and that you were planning to throw a Halloween costume party. Haechan started coming up with a crazy plan to get himself in. Once everyone left for the night, it would be just the two of you.

Everything was going to be perfect…

You've been receiving calls from your friends ever since you began organizing everything for the party. You've been busy all day running back and forth, getting your house ready. Your friends were supposed to bring all the food and snacks right before the party started. After taking some time away from Jaemin, you decided to talk to him again. He explained that he was genuinely sorry for what he said and didn’t mean it. He sees you as more than just an outlet for his pleasure; he genuinely likes you for who you are and values your relationship. He always believed it was best for the two of you to take things slow and not rush into anything, even though you might not agree. Yet, somehow, he always manages to make you give in to his wishes.

He offered to help you decorate the place as a truce. You started working on some decorations without him and were now waiting for him to arrive. However, you kept getting random calls from an unknown number, which you initially thought were scam calls trying to get personal information, so you ignored them. But your phone wouldn’t stop ringing.

Deciding enough was enough, you picked up the phone.

“Hello? Who is this?”

Silence. All you could hear was heavy breathing on the other line. Feeling creeped out, you hung up. Not even seconds later, your phone rang again, and you were getting annoyed.

“Okay, I’m serious now. Who is this, and why do you keep calling me?”

“First of all, it’s rude to hang up before letting the other person talk, sweetie,” the mysterious man said in a low, husky voice. You couldn’t tell who it was.

“Well, you were just breathing into the phone without saying a word. What do you expect me to do?”

“Feisty one, aren’t you? I didn’t know you had such an attitude.”

Unease settled in as his tone suggested he knew you.

“Do I know you?”

“Oh, you will soon. Just know that I always have my eyes on you.” His tone was harsh and direct. “I struggled hard to get your attention, and now I’m finally glad I have it.”

You started to feel uneasy and wondered how he even got your number, but you still weren’t buying any of it.

“Yeah, right. If this is a prank, it’s a lame one. How did you get my number?”

“That you don’t need to know. But I’m being honest with you, sweetheart. This isn’t a prank.”

You started to think this might be your secret admirer who’s been leaving you love notes. You also considered the possibility that Johnny or Mark had set this up to mess with you. They both loved to pull pranks, but their jokes were usually harmless, and they wouldn’t take it this far. But who else would have your number and be willing to pull a stunt like this? It made sense that they could have shared it with whoever was on the other line since both of them had it.

You’d had enough. In a firm tone, you said, “Look, I know you’re probably one of Johnny’s or Mark’s friends trying to mess with me. Tell them this prank is just embarrassing, and they need to step it up next time. And for the record, I wouldn’t be interested in you anyways because I’m already in a serious relatio-.”

“Oh, sweetheart, we both know that’s not true.”

His bold comment caught you off guard.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. You and Jaemin aren’t even official. You’re just telling yourself that to make yourself feel better, but he doesn’t even have feelings for you.”

“How do you even kn—”

“Like I said, darling, I have my eyes on you.”

A shiver ran down your spine as you realized that this might be someone you know.

“Besides, I could treat you way better than him. He’s no good for you.”

Before you could respond, you heard a knock at your door.

It must be Jaemin.

“Oh, looks like your wannabe prince charming has arrived. Go be with him one last time, because once I’m through with you, you won’t need him anymore.”

“I—”

“See you later, sweetheart.”

With that, he hung up. You sank to your knees as panic took over, your chest tightening. Who was this guy, and how did he know so much about you and Jaemin? Was he some kind of stalker? Could this all really be just a sick prank?

A flood of questions ran through your mind, overwhelming you. You heard another knock, snapping you out of your thoughts. With Jaemin waiting, you took a deep breath, opened the door, and let him in, first scanning the area to see if the mysterious guy was still watching you. Seeing no one, you tried to compose yourself. Jaemin noticed you were on edge and asked what was wrong. You told him everything that had happened, and he was shocked. You left out the stranger’s comment about you and Jaemin, not wanting to stir up any more issues between you two.

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Whoever this guy is, he’s a sick freak who needs to be dealt with. I can’t believe this is the same guy who’s been leaving those weird sticky notes.”

“I know… At first, I wondered if this could be one of Johnny’s or Mark’s pranks.”

“Come on, you think Johnny or Mark would pull something this crazy?”

“No, but I have no idea who else it could be.”

“They’ll be at the party later tonight, right? Pull them aside, and ask if this is some prank. If it’s not, we’ll figure out what to do next.”

You nodded in agreement, and the two of you returned to decorating the house. You placed fake pumpkins and spiders around while Jaemin hung up skeleton streamers, letting him handle the tougher tasks. He owed you after the way he’d been treating you lately.

When you finally finished, you both slumped onto the couch, exhausted but satisfied with the setup.

“Thank you so much for your help! If I’d done this alone, I’d never be ready in time for the party.”

He gave you a warm look, his voice sincere. “No problem, love. Anything for you.”

You found it a bit off-putting whenever he use pet names, something usually a thing that couples do. He acted like you two were official but didn’t want to label it. You began to think about what the mysterious man had said on the phone and started to wonder if his words might hold some truth.

“Hey Jaemin, can I ask you something?”

He shifted his position toward you, sensing that this was going to be serious.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

"Look, I know you’re not big on labels, but I at least want to know if you have feelings for me or not. I don’t want to invest all my energy into this if you’re not even interested—"

Before you could finish, he cupped your face with both hands and kissed you passionately.

“Of course I have feelings for you, I always have. I know I haven’t been treating you the best, and I’m just terrible at communicating my feelings. It really takes me time to open up, but I only care about you, alright?"

You nodded and believed what he was saying. But now there was a noticeable tension in the air, and you began to feel overwhelmed. You could see the lust in his eyes, and it was clear that he wanted you badly. The tension became too much, and you both started to passionately kiss. You straddled his lap, feeling yourself melt against him. He wrapped both hands around your waist and slowly lowered them to cup your ass. You whimpered in response, not wanting him to stop touching you like this.

“Mhm, you like that? You’re already shaking for me, pretty girl.”

The fact that he called you “pretty” made you feel hot all over. He always knew how to make you flustered. Too embarrassed to say anything, all you could do was respond. He flipped you onto your back on the couch, positioning himself on top of you.

“Let me take it from here.”

He resumed kissing you, moving down to your neck. One of his hands lifted your shirt and squeezed your chest. A loud moan escaped your lips, and you felt him smirk against your skin. Then he twisted your nipple, eliciting a yelp of pleasure as you threw your head back against the couch. You didn’t want him to stop. With his other hand, he slid down to your panties and noticed the dampness forming between your legs.

“Oh, look what we have here. How are you already so wet for me?”

His teasing drove you wild, and you felt hot and bothered ever since he confessed his feelings for you. That reassurance was what you had been waiting for, and it felt amazing knowing he felt the same way. He pulled your panties aside and began to finger your wet core. He didn’t waste any time, shoving two fingers inside you, and you eagerly welcomed him. You became a babbling mess, unable to form coherent sentences. He knew how much you loved this and took it a step further, rubbing your clit with his thumb. You wanted to cum right then and there, unable to stop moaning about how good it felt.

“P-please don’t stop…”

Your plea only spurred him on, and he didn’t slow down. He could feel you getting close, your walls pulsing around his fingers.

“I’m g-gonn cu-”

Right before you were about to climax, he pulled his fingers out. You winced at the emptiness now settling in your core.

“I’m sorry, baby, but I need to be inside you now.”

He lowered his joggers and pulled out his cock. He grabbed your legs, pushed them back, and thrust his length deep inside you. You felt overstimulated and ready for another round.

He began to fuck you at a rough, sloppy pace. Whenever you had sex, he expected you to keep up with him when he got carried away like this. Sometimes, though, he took his time and gave you all his attention, but tonight wasn’t one of those nights. This time, he barely looked at you, his eyes closed as he focused on his pleasure. He picked up the pace even more, and you could sense he was getting close. You weren’t even close to cumming and wished he would slow down. It had barely been a minute, and he was already on the brink.

“F-fuck, baby, I’m close…I’m going to cum in your mouth this time—open up—”

You didn’t argue; you opened your mouth. He pulled your hair with one hand and shoved your face onto his length. You felt a rush of his cum flow down your throat, but it was too much, so you tapped on his arm to pull out. He finished on your face and chest.

“God, that was amazing. I’m sorry if I rushed things at the end; you just made me feel so fuckin’ good, you know?”

You could only nod in response, barely able to meet his gaze.

“Hey, did you at least cu—”

Before he could finish, you both heard a knock at the door. It was probably one of your friends coming over with snacks and drinks. Glancing at the time, you realized the party was starting in less than an hour. Panic set in as you took in your half-naked state.

“Fuck, I think that’s Jisung. He said he would come a little early to help set up. I can’t let him see us like this—”

“Hey, don’t worry. Why don’t you go take a shower and clean yourself up? I’ll let him know you’re getting ready and help him out!”

You gave him a quick kiss to thank him and rushed to the bathroom to get ready for the party.

You were all dressed up in a costume and decided to be a witch. You had the whole getup with the broom and hat. You wore a ruffled black dress that accentuated your figure and lifted your chest. You were still thinking about what had happened between you and Jaemin earlier and wished he had at least made you finish instead of leaving you feeling unsatisfied. You were hoping that once everyone leaves your house you guys can go at it again.

An hour later, your party was in full swing, and it felt like the whole school had shown up. This was what happened when you left Johnny in charge of inviting people; he knew practically everyone. It didn’t matter to you as long as people were having a good time. But speaking of Johnny, you still wanted to talk to him and Mark about the strange calls you had been receiving.

Hours passed, and before long, it was Halloween.

After spending what felt like forever looking for Johnny, you finally spotted him arriving late as usual, dressed as the Joker. You saw that he was dressed as the Joker, while Mark stood beside him, once again in his Spiderman costume. They were both drinking and having a good time. You walked over to greet them, and they both stood up to hug you.

“Oh hey, sorry we’re late. We had to pre-game beforehand,” Johnny said with an apologetic smile.

“Yeah, it’s really his fault. If it were me, I would’ve been here on time,” Mark chimed in.

“Dude, no you wouldn’t. Besides, you’re only here because I invited you. I could’ve easily not told you about it,” Johnny retorted.

“Well, I would’ve known about the party regardless since you decided to invite literally EVERYONE from school,” Mark shot back.

There they go again, bickering like an old married couple. You felt your annoyance rising and chimed in.

“GUYS, can you not do this right now? I need to talk to both of you in private.”

They stopped arguing, noticing the concern in your eyes. They followed you into the empty hallway, where there was no one else around.

“Listen, I know you guys like to pull pranks on people, but don’t drag me into it.”

They exchanged confused looks.

“Umm, what are you talking about? We didn’t pull any pranks on you,” Johnny replied, still looking lost.

“Are you serious? This isn’t funny. I’ve been getting calls from some strange guy saying he’s watching me and leaving weird notes in my bag.”

Mark and Johnny each placed a hand on your shoulders, their expressions sincere.

“We’re serious. Whatever’s going on with you isn’t our doing. But it sounds scary, and you should involve the police if it escalates further,” Mark said.

At that moment, you realized they were telling the truth.

“Yeah, if he calls again, I’ll report him to the police. Sorry for pinning this on you guys. I should’ve known you wouldn’t do anything this crazy.”

They both hugged you, and Johnny added, “Hey, it’s all good. We like to joke around a lot, but never to this degree. Whoever this guy is sounds like a creep.”

“Yeah, I know. Anyway, I won’t hold you guys up too long. Enjoy the party! I’m going to get some fresh air outside.”

“Alright, if you need us for anything, just call.”

You nodded and went your separate ways.

Making your way to the patio, you thought you’d be alone, but to your surprise, someone was already there. He wore a black leather jacket, gloves, black pants, and heavy-duty boots, topped off with a Ghostface mask to complete the look.

Such a cliché.

“Nice costume you’ve got there,” you said, trying to make conversation.

Haechan turned to you, trying to act normal, though he hadn’t expected to see you so soon. He had planned to wait outside until everyone left, then sneak inside when you were alone. But the party had lasted longer than he anticipated, and he didn’t want to seem suspicious around you.

“Ah, thanks! I had this mask lying around in my closet and wanted to wear it tonight.”

You could tell he was lying and called him out.

“Let me guess, you bought it last minute and couldn’t find anything better to wear?”

“Aww, how did you know?”

“Oh come on, everyone dresses up as Ghostface for Halloween. It’s kind of basic, if you ask me. No offense.”

“Ouch! Tell me how you really feel?” he said playfully.

“Sorry, I’ve just been stressed out all day and I’m lashing out at people. My apologies.”

He noticed you started to fidget and suggested that you both sit down on the outdoor sofa.

“Hey, it’s okay! I know we may not know each other, but I’m willing to hear you out.”

“Are you sure? You should be inside with the others, having fun. I don’t want to dump all my problems on you.”

“I am fine being just right here with you.”

You don’t know why, but you feel your body tense up a bit hearing him say that.

He leaned back on the couch, both arms spread across the back, ready to hear what you had to say.

“Besides, parties aren’t my scene. I only came here because a friend of mine really wanted me to come. Now tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Alright, I got this weird call earlier today from this mysterious guy saying that he is watching me at all times, and it’s been creeping me out. I've also been receiving these notes in school, and I’m thinking it’s from the same guy.”

He knows that you are talking about him, and he has to act normal about it.

“Wow, that's kind of scary. I mean, maybe it’s just someone trying to mess with you, being that it's Halloween and all.”

“At first, I thought it was a prank done by my two other friends, but when I asked them about it, they both said it wasn’t them.”

He switched his position, crossed his arms, and was now manspreading beside you. You couldn't quite understand why, but even though you had no idea who this guy was or what he looked like under that mask, he still seemed so attractive to you. You tried to keep your composure, shifted in your seat, and pressed your thighs together. You knew you shouldn’t feel this way toward anyone but Jaemin, but Ghostface was kind of doing something to you right now.

He noticed the subtle effect he was starting to have on you. He didn’t want to make it obvious, though, and just acted like he didn't notice. You can’t see it, but he has the biggest smirk on his face right now.

“Huh, that's weird. What did he even write on the notes?”

“Well, at first, they were sweet and innocent about how pretty he thought I was and how they liked the way I styled my hair. But down the line, it just got creepier and sexual, and I…” You began to glance down at your lap, fiddling with your thumbs.

He noticed that you were starting to get uncomfortable from just talking about it, so he just backed off.

“Hey, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But have you thought about reporting it to the authorities?”

“Only if he calls me again.”

You said in a blunt tone while giving him a deadpan look. He knows that you aren’t messing around this time. It wasn’t going to stop him because he knew he was going to get what he wanted by the end of tonight.

He scooted closer to you and placed a hand on your thigh. Your body went stiff, and you fell frozen in your spot.

“If this is really bothering you that much, you should end the party early so you can go to bed and sleep on it. You seem on edge; all these people at your house aren't going to make it any better.”

You started to feel warm inside from the way he was caressing your thigh. You shouldn’t feel this sensitive. He then proceeded to get up and said,

“Well, I’m going to head out now; it’s starting to get late. I hope you figure out your little stalker problem soon, sweetheart.”

You were taken aback by the sudden nickname and it almost felt familiar to you. You said your goodbyes to him and wished him a good night. He closed your patio door, and you decided to stay outside for a little while.

You wondered what he looked like under the mask…

Some time passed, and as the night went on, you started to feel more and more anxious. You paced back and forth on the patio, still trying to figure out who would even try to stalk you like this. Jaemin spent the whole night looking for you, and he asked Johnny where you were. Johnny told him where to find you, and Jaemin headed towards the backyard. He went outside to your patio and saw you pacing back and forth, shaking.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? I was looking for you all night, and I see you here hiding out from your own party.”

You looked up at him, and he could tell how freaked out you were. He went over to hug you, and you rested your head on his chest. He slowly patted your head and tried to calm you down.

“Now tell me what’s going on.”

You filled him in on everything that happened and how you talked to Mark and Johnny, who said that it wasn't them pulling pranks on you. Jaemin was very protective of you, and he wanted to keep you safe at that moment.

“So what are you going to do now?”

“I think it’s best if I end the party early and let everyone go home. I’m starting to get pretty tired, and I just want all of these people out of my house now,” you said with a slight laugh.

“Hey, let me at least spend the night here with you. I want to be able to protect you if anything happens.”

You loved how sweet Jaemin was, and you agreed to his offer. Together, you went back inside, stopped the music, and told everyone that the party was over. As guests started to leave, your house gradually fell silent.

Now it was just you and Jaemin.

You both made your way to your room, where you lay back on your bed, staring at the ceiling while Jaemin stood above you, looking down.

“Hey, on the bright side, you threw a really good Halloween party. Everyone seemed to have fun,” Jaemin said, trying to comfort you.

“Yeah… I just wish this wasn’t happening to me, you know? Like, why me? What did I do to deserve this?” Tears formed in your eyes as you covered your face with your hands, trying to hide your emotions. Jaemin quickly rushed to your side, sitting on the bed and attempting to comfort you. He gently pulled your hands away from your face and wiped away your tears.

“Hey, none of this is your fault. Whoever is doing this to you is just a loser trying to mess with your head.”

Jaemin was right. Whoever was behind this was just a creep projecting their weird fantasies onto you. You looked directly into his soft eyes and felt like you could melt for him, just as you had earlier in the day.

“Hey, let’s not dwell on this anymore, alright? I wish we had spent more time together during the party. Where were you most of the night, anyway?”

“Oh, I was outside in the backyard for most of the time. I wanted to be left alone. When I first got there, I thought I would be alone, but there was some guy dressed as Ghostface chilling on my patio. I talked to him a bit, but he just left.”

“Ghostface… I don’t remember seeing anyone in that costume. Did you get his name?”

“That’s the thing; for some reason, it slipped my mind, and I forgot to ask. He didn’t stay long at the party, anyway. He said it wasn’t really his scene, so that’s probably why you didn’t see him.”

Jaemin didn’t think much of it and decided to change the subject.

“Anyway, you didn’t even comment on my costume. What do you think?”

You were so distracted by everything that you hadn’t even acknowledged his outfit. He had chosen a classic vampire costume but with a twist—his shirt was sleeveless, revealing his toned arms. To be honest, you couldn’t stop looking at them and wished he could pin you down with them. Ever since he left you feeling a little dissatisfied earlier, you wanted to go another round with him. You sat up on your bed, facing him, and traced small circles on one of his arms, giving him a bashful look.

“I think you look good, even though you chose one of the most basic costumes in the book.”

He scoffed playfully, acting hurt by your comment. “Says the one who is dressed as a witch.”

“Hey, in my defense, my priority was making sure the party ran smoothly, and I didn’t have time to come up with a more creative costume.”

You both laughed and as you resumed looking at each other, the lust in your eyes grew palpable. He started to lower his hand onto your thigh, slowly rubbing it back and forth. Then, he leaned in to kiss you, and you welcomed his advances. As he climbed on top of you, you moaned beneath him. Just as things were getting serious between you two, Jaemin’s phone began to ring. Initially, he considered ignoring it, but when he saw it was his mom, he knew he had to answer. You both paused what you were doing and he stepped out of the room for a moment so he could take the call. When he returned, he wore a sad expression.

“I’m sorry to do this to you, but my mom got called in to work last minute, and I have to go watch my little sister. Do you think you’ll be fine on your own?”

“Oh, yeah, I will. Plus, it’s getting pretty late anyway, and I’m just going to sleep. I’ll be fine, really!”

He apologized once more, kissed you on the forehead, and then left your house, leaving you alone.

Or so you thought…

Little did you know, Haechan had been hiding out in your closet. After he had left you by yourself on the patio, he claimed he was going home, but in reality, he went upstairs to your room to rummage through your things. He even stole a pair of your panties and took off the mask for a moment to breathe in your scent, reveling in it. He had been waiting for you to heed his earlier advice and kick everyone out so it could just be the two of you.

But when Haechan heard your and Jaemin's voices nearing your room, he panicked and quickly hid in your closet. He had been planning to sneak out once both of you were asleep, intending to come after you another night. However, he got lucky tonight with Jaemin having to leave you alone so abruptly.

He was waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Peering through the crack of the closet door, he saw you passed out on your bed, looking peaceful. You were so tired that you had forgotten to change out of your costume. Watching you sleep, he thought you looked so pretty that he almost hesitated to touch you.

But he just couldn’t help it when you looked so easy for him to take. He started by lightly squeezing your chest with his gloved hands. He had always wanted to know how your tits would feel in his hands, and he loved it. He noticed you started to shake a bit and was afraid you might wake up, but you were still fast asleep.

So he decided to take it a step further.

With his free hand, he went down to touch your pussy and noticed how wet you were. It was probably because of Jaemin earlier. Haechan's blood was boiling, and he wanted to be the one to make you feel this good.

He slowly slid your panties off and slipped a finger inside you, noticing how quickly you were soaking his gloves.

“God, you’re such a slut. He barely even touched you, and you’re already this fucking wet for him,” he mumbled under his breath so you wouldn’t wake up. You began to fidget around in your sleep, and he started to get on edge. It turned him on to see you become such a mess for him, even though you were fast asleep.

He decided enough was enough and shoved another finger inside you while simultaneously rubbing his thumb against your clit. You started to toss and turn even more, and he didn’t even care if you woke up at that point; he just wanted to make you cum.

You began to slowly wake up, thinking it was Jaemin who was making you feel this good. You said, “Baby, what do you think you—”

Before you could finish your sentence, as you began to open your eyes, you saw it wasn’t Jaemin touching you, but he was wearing a Ghostface costume. It looked like the same guy you had talked to earlier that night.

“H-hey what are y-you do-”

He pulled his fingers out of you and pushed them down your throat, making you taste yourself. With his other hand, he pinned your wrist above your head while pressing his thigh against your cunt.

“Oh, rise and shine, my love. It seems that you’re finally awake. You see, I was just having a little fun. I mean, look at you. How could I not?”

You were still trying to process everything that was happening to you right now. Why was the Ghostface guy from earlier still in your house, and why was he doing this to you? You tried to fight back, but he was simply too strong and bigger than you. He had the physical advantage, and you felt so frail underneath him.

“Now you’re probably wondering who I am and why I’m doing all this to you. Well, if you haven’t guessed it by now, I’m the one who’s been stalking you and who called you earlier today."

Goosebumps spread across your body as fear set in. He spoke in a cold tone as if he didn’t care about how he had been treating you. You tried to speak, but with his fingers deep in your throat, it was difficult. A hint of remorse flickered in his eyes, and he withdrew his fingers. You coughed and gasped for air, struggling to catch your breath.

“W-why are you even doing this to me?”

He began to caress your face with his hand, and when you turned away from his touch, he grabbed your jaw to make you look at him.

“You better keep those pretty eyes on me, or you’re seriously going to regret it. As for why I’m doing this... to be honest, I’ve been obsessed with you for quite some time now. It was only a matter of time before I sneaked into your room and took what I’ve been wanting so badly-” He lowered his hand from your jaw down to your neck and began to squeeze around your throat.

“You.”

His words sent shivers down your spine, leaving you gasping for air once again. You tried to beg and plead for him to stop, but it only made him harder; he was practically getting off on seeing you struggle like this.

He loved to see the fear in your eyes and was savoring every moment of this. He wanted to take it up a notch and make you even more scared. With his other hand, he unzipped his jacket, and from the inside pocket, he pulled out a knife. Your eyes widened, and you began to shake and shiver out of fear.

“Shh, sweetheart, I’m not going to hurt you with this. I would never do such a thing...”

You didn’t believe a word he was saying. You couldn’t understand how he had managed to sneak into your house and get a hold of you like this. He started to caress the dull part of the knife against your face, and you squirmed.

“P-please, just stop all of this…”

“Why should I? You look so pretty all scared for me, I’m just having some fun.”

You begin to tense up beneath him as you feel tears start to form in your eyes. He smirks underneath his mask and he brings himself closer to you and tilts your head to the side. 

“Aww, are you starting to cry, my love? That’s only going to turn me on even more…”

You felt so disgusted by the way he was talking to you. You were scared out of your mind right now, and you wished Jaemin didn’t have to leave so soon.

“Besides, Jaemin makes you cry way more than I do.”

You were taken aback by how this guy even knew about your relationship with Jaemin. He never talked about you to many people and preferred to keep your relationship private, just as you did.

“How do you—”

“How many times do I have to tell you? I always have my eyes on you.”

He slowly started to drag the knife down your face, moving it toward your neck as he released your throat.

“I see how he makes you cry whenever you're alone at night after arguing with him for the millionth time, or all the times he doesn’t even look your way at school and ignores you the day after you argue.”

You hated how much he seemed to know about your relationship with Jaemin; it only deepened your pain.

“Even after everything he’s done to you, you still run your pretty ass back to him. God, you can be so stupid sometimes.”

He pressed the knife against your throat.

“Now imagine my surprise when I called you earlier today and saw you welcome that jerk with open arms and—”

He began to rub circles against your warmth.

“Open legs. You’re such a slut; the sex can’t be that good. He didn’t even let you come again, did he?”

You hated how accurate he was. You always found yourself running back to Jaemin despite all the awful things he’d done to you. But you tried to defend him, saying, “Well, we w-were going to try it again tonight, and I—"

All he did was laugh in your face. Even he knew you weren’t sure of yourself, the hesitation clear in your voice. He could tell you were starting to have doubts. Then he moved the sharp edge of the knife against your sternum, and you squirmed away from him, but you weren’t going anywhere since he still had you pinned down.

“Ah, baby, don’t move around too much, or you’ll hurt yourself. Plus, we both know he wasn’t going to do shit to you tonight. He was probably going to rush into things as always, leaving you unsatisfied. While I, on the other hand—”

He slowly dragged the knife along your costume, slicing it down the middle.

“Would never leave you feeling unsatisfied and would always make you feel good, because that, my love, is what you deserve.”

You were now exposed, left in nothing but your black lacy bra and panties.

“God, you look so beautiful,” he said breathlessly.

He used one of the ripped pieces of your costume as a makeshift rope to tie your hands together, freeing himself from having to pin them down. You looked so helpless underneath him, and he was loving every second of it.

“Don’t act like you don’t want this…”

He trailed off as he started to drag the knife across your chest; the coolness of the blade against your warm body made you flinch. Your breathing quickened, and fear started to seep in again.

“You like that someone is finally giving you the love and attention you deserve.”

With that, he cut off your bra, leaving your chest exposed for him. He let out a low groan of pleasure and cursed under his breath.

“Everything about you is just perfect.”

He then used the flat side of the knife to glide over your nipples, the cool sensation sending shockwaves of pleasure throughout your body. You pulled at your restraints, wishing he would let you go.

“Aww, you’re so cute thinking you can run away from this.”

He dragged the knife across your panties, rubbing the handle against your clothed core. You let out a low whimper, and he wore a big smirk on his face. Then he used the knife to cut off your panties, clearly noticing your arousal.

You tried to close your legs to prevent him from touching you, but he held both of your legs down with his hands.

“God, sweetie. I didn't think you'd be this wet for me.”

You felt incredibly flustered by how much he was starting to turn you on. You didn’t even know who this guy was, yet he somehow managed to get you this worked up.

“I think it’s in your best interest to keep your legs spread open for me.”

You still didn’t want to give in to him and tried your best to hold him off. You started to move and kick him away from you.

“P-please, just l-let me go—”

He silenced you with a hard slap against your cunt.

“If you don’t do what I say, sweetheart, I’ll make this worse for you.” His voice dropped to a calm, unnervingly cold tone.

You felt intimidated by him at this moment and didn’t want to go against his words.

“Please don’t, I’m sorry—”

He delivered another slap against your pussy, catching you off guard and eliciting a soft moan. He was taken aback by the noise you made and felt a surge of desire to tease you about it.

“Aww, don’t tell me you like that, pretty girl. You’re such a slut.”

You couldn’t understand why, but his degrading words ignited something within you. Jaemin would never talk to you like this and rarely said anything degrading, but when Ghostface did, it only turned you on. You found yourself starting to open your legs for him, not wanting to provoke him any further. He liked that you were finally beginning to listen.

“That’s my girl. Stay nice and obedient for me.”

He began to lightly pat the flat edge of the knife against your pussy, specifically targeting your clit. The coolness of it against your warmth made you squirm.

“Ah, ah, remember I said don’t move, sweetie. We wouldn’t want you to get hurt now.”

You tried to stay still, but it was nearly impossible when he teased you like this. Haechan thought to himself that he could drive you even crazier. With the handle of the knife, he started rubbing it against your clit, making you let out a moan.

“You like this, princess? Who would’ve thought you were just as much of a freak as I am?”

You hated how he compared himself to you as if you were the same. Then, he lowered the handle of the knife against your opening and slowly shoved it into your core. You immediately threw your head back against your pillow, letting out a yelp of pleasure. He thrust it in and out at a slow pace, making you wince.

He positioned himself on top of you, continuing to pound into your cunt with the knife while pinching and squeezing your nipples. He was overstimulating every part of your body right now. It was only a matter of time before you caved in for him.

“Don’t tell me you actually like this. Can you be any more pathetic?”

His humiliating words only intensified your arousal. You didn’t even know you could be into any of this. You were too turned on by what he was doing to talk back. He didn’t like that very much and began to shove the handle into you at a rough pace while he let go of your chest. He then rubbed his fingers against your clit.

“When I ask you a question, I expect you to give me an answer,” he said in a stern tone.

You couldn’t hold out any more and surrendered.

“P-please, g-go faster. I n-need you so bad… fuck.”

You couldn’t help it; the look on your face was priceless. He wore a playful smirk, clearly reveling in how quickly you had given in.

He finally had you wrapped around his little finger.

“Aww, you need me, sweetie? How badly do you want it?” he teased.

“S-so b-bad… ah, I think I’m going to cu-”

He already knew you were getting close; you started making a mess around the handle, forming a puddle beneath you. He shoved it into you at a rougher pace and rubbed your clit fast with his other hand until you instantly came all over the knife, and he continued to fuck you through your orgasm.

"That’s it, my love. Let it all out for me."

You reached the peak of your climax and fell breathless. However, he wasted no time shoving the handle of the knife down your throat.

“Now be a good girl and taste yourself for me.”

You were caught off guard by his actions, letting him do what he wanted as you sucked your juices off the handle.

“Mhm, there’s my girl. Get some practice, because you’re about to suck me off next.”

Your eyes widened at his words. You barely felt like you could go another round, and now he wanted you to please him? Seeing your eyes glazed over and your tongue swirling against the handle was making him hard. He began to shove it deeper into your throat, making you gag. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, and Haechan couldn’t handle it anymore. He took the handle off your mouth and placed it on your bedside table. Then, he sat at the edge of your bed and made you kneel in front of him.

He zipped down his pants, exposing himself as your hands remained tied behind your back. He smirked and lightly tapped his cock against your face.

“I know this isn’t your first time, so you know what to do, princess. Blow me.”

You didn’t waste any time, starting by slowly licking your way up his shaft. You began at the base and made your way to the tip, tasting the pre-cum that dripped out of him. Growing impatient, he gripped your hair, shoving your face down onto his length. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he thrust into your throat, making it hard to manage with your hands tied. You wanted to grip his thighs as he fucked your throat so vigorously, and the way you gagged around him only drew a grunt of pleasure from him. He threw his head back, clearly lost in the moment, then let go of your hair. But you continued to move up and down his cock, loving every second of it.

“Fuck, baby, you’re doing such a good job for me. I can’t wait to ruin you after this.”

The thought of him having his hands on you again turned you on even more. You felt him start to pulse in your throat, and he was getting close. Just before he was about to cum, he pulled your hair and shoved your face into the bed, lifting your hips to meet him. In one smooth heated motion, he pressed into your needy core, pulling a moan from your lips that nearly escaped as a scream.

“Fuck, how are you so wet for me all over again? You're dripping all over me, princess.”

You were flustered, struggling to understand why you were still so aroused by him. He bullied his way deep inside you, the tip of his cock pressing against your walls. All you could do was moan out how good he made you feel, and he occasionally spanked your ass just to see your reaction. Tears rolled down your cheeks from the overwhelming pleasure.

“Aww, there you go crying again. God, if it wasn’t for this mask right now, I’d lick all your pretty tears away.”

Then it hit you.

You’d been going at it with this guy for a while now, and you still didn’t know what he looked like. The fact that you didn’t know only turned you on more. With this realization, you squeezed around his cock, and he grunted out pleasure.

“Fuck, baby, do that again for me.”

You were so lost in your own world that you completely didn’t hear anything he just said.

He grabbed your restrained hands like handles, slamming you down onto his dick, which definitely got your attention, pulling a moan from your lips that was practically a scream.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours? You’re thinking way too much for me, love and you can’t even focus on what I’m saying."

He started fucking you at a rough pace, and you shoved your face into the pillow, unable to handle everything. He let go of your wrists and grabbed your hair instead, bringing your face close to his. Your head rested against his shoulder as he whispered in your ear, “I don’t want a single thought in that head unless I put it there.”

He wasn’t messing around anymore and he wanted your full attention on him.

“Besides-”

He pushed your face back down into the bed, hovering over your back as he whispered in your ear, “I don’t want you thinking about Jaemin anymore after I’m done with you.”

Your eyes widened, and you completely forgot about him. You were so immersed in what you had going on with the masked guy that you didn’t even consider how Jaemin would feel about this. Haechan noticed a picture of you and Jaemin on the nightstand.

“Oh, look at that, baby. You and him look so happy together.” He got closer to your ear, and his words sent chills down your spine. “Wait until he finds out you let a stranger in a Ghostface mask fuck you balls deep into your bed…I mean, how much more pathetic can you be?”

A wave of guilt washed over you. You hated how he was humiliating you like this, yet you were still aroused by it. You started to tighten around him once again, and he let out a low moan in response.

“Atta girl, you’re finally listening to me. You know I find it so interesting that you don’t even know what I look like yet I’m turning you on so much.”

He wrapped his gloved hands around your throat, and you could feel the rugged leather material pressing against your skin.

“You’re so fucking gross for being turned on by this. Here I thought I was the biggest pervert between the two of us. Turns out it’s you.”

You let out a moan at his degrading words, completely giving in. You didn’t care anymore; you embraced it. Jaemin never made you feel this way, and this masked guy was doing so much more than he ever could.

All of a sudden, he changed the position, and now you were straddling him, sitting in his lap. With both hands firmly gripping your waist, he looked up at you, a playful glint in his eyes visible beneath his mask.

“Ride me.”

You were caught off guard by his demand, but you didn’t have any problem complying. He finally untied your hands, and you grabbed his length, slowly lowering yourself onto him. A gasp escaped his lips as his head fell back, overwhelmed by the sensation of being inside you again.

You whimpered as you tried to adjust to him, the pain quickly mixing with pleasure as he pulled you down onto him, your moan turning into a scream of bliss. You began to move, bouncing on him with a quick, eager pace, yet your thoughts wandered, wondering about the face hidden beneath his mask. You couldn’t shake the urge to ask.

“I’m sorry to ask you this, but… would you take off your mask? I want to s-see you...” The words spilled out before you could stop yourself.

For a moment, he hesitated, but when he caught the pleading look in your eyes, he couldn’t resist. The thought of your reaction only fueled him, his hands gripping firmly onto your waist as he thrust into you.

“You know what? Since you’ve been so obedient, I think you’ve earned it. Go ahead, take it off.”

His voice was low and teasing, and while he continued to move inside you, you slowly reached up, pulling off his mask. With both hands, you slowly began to lift off his mask, and you couldn’t believe it.

It was Haechan, Jaemin’s roommate.

This all makes so much sense now, especially why he knew so much about your relationship.

The realization left you speechless, mouth slightly agape as Haechan laughed, savoring your stunned expression. “Baby, I left you scared and speechless. You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he teased, making a cheesy joke out of the situation.

Humiliation and shame flooded over you, and you instinctively pushed against his chest to stop, but he only tightened his grip. Shifting positions, he laid you back, your hands pinned beside you as he thrust into you harder, his pace relentless.

“Aww, just a second ago you were bouncing that pretty ass on me, and now you’re all shy because you realized it’s me?” he taunted, angling himself to hit deeper, making you cry out as he struck your most sensitive spot.

“You’re so fucking pathetic, it’s not even funny,” he taunted, watching as you squirmed beneath him. You had never felt so humiliated in your life, especially knowing that Haechan was the one behind all of this. You shouldn’t have been enjoying any of this, yet here you were, spread out for him, letting him take you completely.

Haechan leaned down, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. You whimpered into his mouth as he trailed down to your neck, his teeth and tongue teasing your skin with bites and kisses that left you breathless.

“Haechan… you make me feel so good…” you murmured, your voice barely a whisper.

Hearing you finally moan his name pushed him over the edge. He began to wrap his hand around your throat, gripping lightly. “You like this, my pretty girl? Admit it, you wanted me from the moment you saw me back at the apartment. I saw that look you gave me when I pressed myself against you."

You whimpered, shaking your head in denial, though deep down you knew he was right. You had to admit that you were attracted to Haechan the moment you saw him. He looked so attractive in his hoodie, with that sleepy expression on his face making you want him to bend you over right then and there. But with Jaemin weighing on your mind, you weren’t going to act on your attraction to Haechan.

“F-fine. Yes, I did want you,” you admitted. Just hearing you say that makes him want to cum for you right then and there, but he holds himself back. 

He didn’t want to be like Jaemin, after all.

“Mmm, that’s my girl. I love how honest you’re being with me now,” he purred, lifting your legs, and pressing them back near your head as he thrust deep into you. “I think it’s time we wrap this up, don’t you think?”

“F-fuck yes, please, just… use me,” you gasped, feeling utterly under his spell, craving every bit of him.

Without hesitation, he drove himself deep into you, and you gripped the sheets as the pleasure intensified. He kissed you deeply, tongues clashing, both of you lost in the blissful sensation. Pulling back, he stared into your eyes, almost in disbelief that you were truly in the palm of his hands.

“You know, at first, I felt a little bad for doing this to you. Seeing you cry to Jaemin about me almost made me want to leave you alone.” He continued to thrust, bullying his way into your sensitive spot again, and both of you nearing the edge. You wrapped your legs around his waist, and arms around his neck, bringing him even closer.

“But seeing how much you enjoy it?” His voice was low, almost mocking. “I don’t feel sorry for you at all.” His words sent a wave of shivers through your entire body.

"You even asked him earlier what you did to deserve this," he murmured, leaning down to whisper in your ear. His tone was cocky, almost teasing.

“Well… nothing, really. I just wanted to do this because I know I can. I know you couldn't resist me, that you wouldn’t stop me from taking what I want." His words made you whimper, and you hid your face in the nape of his neck, overwhelmed.

"So let it happen, love," he continued, his voice dripping with confidence. "I know you want it too… and I'm getting close."

Hearing how sure he had been about you from the beginning only heightened your arousal. He knew that one way or another, he was going to have you here, completely spread open for him. His pace quickened, each thrust bringing you both closer to the edge.

"F-fuck, baby," he gasped, voice strained. "Where do you want it?"

With your legs wrapped around him, you pulled him deeper, meeting his gaze, and in a voice soft yet full of desire you replied

“Inside, please don’t pull out.”

That encouraged him to thrust faster, and soon you both finished together, riding out each other's orgasms. Your moans grew louder and louder, and you couldn't help yourself.

“Mhm, that’s it, sweetheart. Scream for me.”

You yelled out for him as he emptied his load deep inside your aching cunt. Both of you looked down to see the mess you had made, splattered across the sheets and even on his pelvis, leaving some of your juices along his happy trail. Breathless, you gasped for air as he quickly reached for a bottle of water from your bedside table and placed a pillow behind your head. It was the least he could do. Noticing how you were drifting off to sleep, he gently cleaned you up and tucked you back into bed.

“Please don’t tell Jaemin about this. It should come from me first.”

“Oh, does this mean you’re finally going to leave him?”

You stared up at the ceiling, reflecting on everything that had transpired—not just with Jaemin, but with Haechan as well. You realized you deserved better and shouldn’t have to settle for less.

“I mean, yeah. But for this to work, you’ve got to stop stalking me.”

He smirked and leaned down to give you one last passionate kiss on the lips.

“Can’t make any promises… Now, you have a good night.”

He grabbed his mask and headed toward your bedroom door, he glanced back at you with a grin.

“And oh, happy Halloween…”

[g0niki]

taste tester── y.jw p.js

pairing: bf!jungwon x reader x jay

word count: 1.9k

contents: no protection (wrap it up 😓), oral (m&f receiving), light pussy slapping, finger sucking, slight exhibitionism, light size kink, jw is a little mean🫶

a/n: I haven't written in a long time and quite literally wrote this at 3am, feedback and comments would be appreciated! i am very nervous to post this.

jungwon had jokingly mentioned having a threesome with jay on multiple occasions before, and every time without fail you had said no… but at this moment you were reconsidering.

jay's in the kitchen cooking up something for you and won since you're the only ones home at the moment, won showering and leaving you to watch jay with a focused pout resting on his face as he cuts up the meat and throws it to a bowl on the side. 

you never really understood what your boyfriend saw in jay, sure they were close but he wasn’t all that... 

ok, jay was all that, he is all that. the way his hands moved as he worked on the meal was making you feel some kind of way, your thighs slightly rubbing under the table imagining him holding you down so firmly and having you squirming... so maybe you wanted jay to join... just once though!

you wouldn't even have to tell won, coming out of the bathroom hair wet and clothes hanging off his body loosely, jungwon isn't an idiot,

jungwon can immediately tell just what you're thinking by observing you from afar, knowing that you're having conflicting thoughts at the moment, he'd come up from behind you and wrap his arms around you, kissing your neck and speaking into it 

"feeling hungry pretty?"

the pet name alone was enough to let you know exactly where his mind is, gulping down at his tone. he'd place one last kiss on your throat, sitting down next to you and lightly patting his lap, definitely up to no good. 

"cmere I’m cold" he'd use a pouty voice,, to anyone else it would seem like he's being his usual clingy self but this alone was enough to make your mouth dry. you could never say no to sitting on your boyfriend’s lap though, immediately scooting over and sitting on top of him, he'd wrap his arms around you and rest his chin on your shoulder, pulling you back against him.

"look pretty, isn't jay hyung so nice to us" oh you were fucked "should we watch him cook?"

won pushing your hair behind your ear and lightly biting on it causing you to push your hips back on him.

"be quiet, wouldn’t wanna break his focus" You can hear the fake pout in his voice, feeling his hands massage your thighs as he now kisses your shoulder, letting his tongue trace against the bare skin and lightly sucking now and then.

"look at him, trying to do us a favor yet all you can do is squeeze your pretty little thighs shut and stare. it's rude to not help."

you wanted to bang your head on the table in front of you,, won being so close to touching you over your shorts yet continuously teasing you right behind jay's back. 

"jay's missing out on the best entrée right here." finally, won's hand is lightly tracing your clit. your thighs squeezing around his hand desperately and a small sound leaving your throat, his glancing over his shoulder to check on you.

"sorry.. hit my knee"

"be careful,, dinners almost done"

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

needless to say, that was the quietest dinner you had ever experienced, thighs sticking together as you picked at your plate. jay watching you with an eyebrow arched up, he knew you were picky but you usually loved it whenever he cooked.

"something wrong?" 

his voice slightly makes you jump, unable to even look at him in the moment.

"yeah, what's wrong pretty?"

and of course, jungwon had to play dumb, you could see the smile he was biting back and as much as you wanted to be upset with him he was so badly turning you on.

"nothing just-" and before you could finish your sentence won's hand is back against your thigh, tracing shapes against it "nothing." 

jay leaves it at that.. picking up his plate and walking over to the sink still just as confused as a moment ago but not willing to press any further.

"actually, y/n had a question for you hyung!"

you had never wanted to strangle your boyfriend more than right now.

watching as jay turned around and fondly stared at the two of you.

"yeah, what's up?"

you were out of words, staring with your mouth open not able to play off the situation.

"tell him, baby, you know what we talked about, ask him."

jungwon pushed you closer to the topic, a smile on his face as his hand continued to brush against your thigh, usually, this would be comforting but in this moment your heart was sinking, and you were throbbing.

“y/n, you can ask me anything you know"

and hearing jay be so ready to cater to you was almost enough to get a sob to leave the back of your throat.

"ask him pretty, or i will." the small smile on won's face was enough to send shivers down your spine, goosebumps coming up all over.

"jay... would you want to help us out.." and gosh you felt like you could hear your voice quivering as you asked, you had never been more nervous than right now. 

"... with?"

"don't play dumb hyung. I can see you holding back right now."

your stomach sank. won definitely knew a lot more than he let on, you had never heard him be so harsh towards jay before and it was leaving you soaking. 

"just look at her hyung, look at how she needs you, how badly she wants us."

hearing won talk about you like you weren't even there was honestly a bit overwhelming, you could feel your face and ears getting how wanting to do nothing but hide behind your hands and forget this was even happening. 

"let her say it won, talk to me y/n."

you were going to have to swallow your pride for this one…

"could you fuck me.."

"look at me when you're talking. ask again."

"could you fuck me." and that was all the two of them needed to hear. 

within minutes they had you back in the room, clothes nowhere to be found as you were pressed up between the two of them.

"isn't she so pretty hyung,"

won was behind you holding your legs open and letting jay enjoy the view, jay twisting your nipples and watching how the light touch caused the puddle between your legs to grow even more.

"you weren't kidding when you said she was sensitive."  

hearing the brief mention that jungwon had discussed you with jay before sending your mind into a spiral. laying back as won moved from behind you and onto the chair next to the bed. 

"why don't you put it in hyung, i wanna watch."

you'd never seen won like this before, he looked almost ravenous, his mouth almost watering as he watched. you couldn't take your eyes off of him, taken aback by his current state.

"you too pretty, watch while he puts it in." 

won's hand coming behind your head and forcing you to look down on yourself. jay lining up with your folds and cursing out above you.

"she looks so small, you sure she can take it?"

"even if she can't she will."

and that was enough for jay to push into you, the slight stretch making you bite down on your lip, he wasn't very different from won in size but he was thicker. won's hand holding your own as you both watched jay sink inside you.

"look at that pretty," and god did jay feel good inside you. his hands gripping your hips tightly and pushing them down into the mattress as he took a deep breath.

Won” fuck i'm gonna break her won." 

"do it, she likes it" 

won gently pushing your hair out of your face, moving around so that he was now above your head. 

"don't you pretty?"

you had your eyes pressed together tightly, entirely overwhelmed by everything, and won's dick standing above your head was not helping in any sort of way. 

"you think you could multi-task.”

you couldn’t even answer at this point, jay roughly thrusting into you and using you like a toy, rambling on about how good you feel and he could've never imagined being able to be inside you.

won now holding both your wrists and watching as jay pounded into you, your release dripping all around him and your back fighting to arch against jay's push on your hips.

"pretty open for me before i make him stop."

the idea of jay stopping now was enough to make you sob, jaw immediately falling slack for won. 

"there we go,"

won immediately filling your throat and admiring the slight bulge he made in your throat.

"look hyung, everything about her is just sooo small" jay reached up to trace the bump in your throat causing you to clench around him.

"fuck don't do that i'll cum" jay moved his hand from your neck to slap down on your clit and making your body jolt. won hadn't done that before but you'd be asking him to do it again.

won wrapping his hands around your throat and fucking into you is all too much, you rapidly clenched around jay cumming for who knows what time and causing jay to fill you up with no warning.

"shit, my bad-"

jay pulled out watching his fluid seep out, using his fingers to scoop some up and bring it to his lips.

"fuck won you've gotta taste this."

won pulled out leaving you to whine,  but you quickly shut up after seeing him take jay's two fingers into his mouth, eyes rolling back at the taste of the two of you.

"fuck, it’s missing something.” 

won immediately moving to take jay's previous spot between your legs and quickly shoving himself into you, not taking your sensitivity into mind, his only objective being to fill you up even more. 

jay moved down to your stomach and worked his way up, finding his nipple in your mouth and sucking around it while his right hand fondled the other.

you could’ve sworn won was using all his strength on you, your body bouncing up and down as you tried to take even just a second to breathe, fighting to not scream. your hand coming up to jay's head and pulling onto his hair causing him to bite down on your tit.

"be nice,” he growled between his teeth.

jay pulls back to admire his work and watches jungwon finish the two of you off, taking himself into his hand in hopes of finishing himself off another time. 

"jay you better hurry up because i'm almost done."

won bringing his hand down to play with your clit in hopes of finishing you off alongside him, his thrust getting shallow and sporadic yet doing just enough to have you spilling around him, the noises leaving your throat being enough for jay to finish all over your abdomen and won filling you up nicely.

won pulling out slowly trying not to overstimulate you even more than you already are, lowering his face down to your cunt and licking up as much as he can.

he pulls you into a kiss, swapping the fluid between your mouths as jay watches with his jaw agape. 

pulling apart breathless 

"mm, tastes much better."

ᯓ★

@g0niki all rights reserved. do not translate or post my work anywhere without permission.

[citrus-moonlight]

As I often do, I've seen a few posts going around lately lamenting the lack of interaction with fanfiction/fanart here on Tumblr as well as AO3, but after reading a particular comment last night I just need to say this:

If someone tells you that the lack of response to sharing their writing is making them feel so upset that they're thinking of quitting writing altogether, don't tell them that's not a good mindset to have and they should just have fun with it and write for themselves. (have you just tried not being sad? you'll feel so much better!)

Even if you're a writer who felt that way once upon a time but then you changed your mindset so that you don't rely on others' feedback for validation and now you're so much happier, that's not helpful. Because that's obviously not what the person who is feeling sad and defeated is able to do right now, and for most writers/creators that's never going to be possible.

And it shouldn't have to be.

Especially here. Especially fanfiction.

Fanfiction is something that's created because someone loves something and wants to share it with others who love the same thing. And this is specifically a fandom space, somewhere that is supposed to be a community where discussion and dialogue can and is encouraged to happen between the people who write and the people who read. So when there's radio silence when you share something in this kind of space, do you really not see how that would be discouraging?

Because of course I write for myself - I would never get anything down on the page if I didn't - but I share because ultimately I want someone else out there to read what I wrote, and with any luck, to get some joy out of it. But if no one tells me they did, how am I supposed to know? As far as I know I've just been yelling into the void. As far as I know, all that work wasn't worth it.

A metaphor I've seen as an example is that it would be like having someone invite you over and cooking an entire delicious, heartfelt meal, you eat it all without saying anything, and then just leave. Do you not see how that would be upsetting?

We put so much of ourselves into what we write, bits of our hearts and souls and the things that we love and are exploring and are interested in or confused about. It's such a vulnerable thing to share something you've created, so when you tell someone that they shouldn't care if someone else reads what they wrote or tells them that they liked it, you're dismissing a very real and valid experience for so many creators out there.

Because regardless of how slow or fast a writer is, or how big or small their fandom is, it's still hard and takes time and energy and dedication and love - all of it in between our day to day lives from the mundanities to the heartbreaks - to even get something to the point where we're comfortable sharing.

Now, I know that not everyone thinks that writers are silly or selfish or entitled when they ask for feedback. Before I started writing again after many, many years, the main reason I didn't really comment on fics very often wasn't because I didn't think that the authors deserved feedback, it was more that I didn't really think that it would matter. That my comments would just be noted - if read at all - and brushed aside and then they would continue on about their day.

I could not have possible been more wrong. You might think you're just one person and it's just one comment but it's amazing how it can turn a day (or week, or month) around. How it can encourage someone to finish a story, or make a connection they'd been struggling with, or even just manage to add 500 words to a WIP. It is truly incredible to hear that someone loved something I wrote, and if you've ever commented on or reblogged one of my fics, please know that it truly means the world to me.

I've gone through a rough time with all of this lately myself, but I'm doing a bit better now (for the moment), so I just wanted to say this, in part to remind myself when it inevitably gets hard again:

If you're reading this, whether you're a friend or you've never seen me on your dash and never will again: I'm sorry it hurts right now. I'm sorry you feel discouraged and lonely, that it doesn't feel like it's worth it anymore, that you're struggling to find a reason to continue.

But I desperately hope that you keep writing. I hope you keep sharing. You're worth it. I know it's hard, and if you don't want to and you're just tired of the cycle of giving so much of yourself and getting so little in return, I understand that, too. It's ok to be in your feelings about it, it's ok to feel drained by it, and even though knowing you're not alone in your experience doesn't change anything and it still sucks, it's normal and valid and there's nothing wrong with you feeling the way that you do.

But I hope that you are able to find the joy in it again, because you deserve it. ❤️

[gallapiech]

Give it up for art post number 3 for Highway of Hedoism!

[READ IT HERE]

+ some bts stuff because i enjoyyyyy doing that :)

Not much to comment on this one lol, it's a little rough I suppose. I think I prioritized quantity over quality here and that's definitely something I would've done differently if I could go back in time.

I'm still not sure it gets the image across? I hope it does. Sorry if it doesn't ehe...

I don't actually have a sketch for the outside one! I made it pretty fast and in one sitting lol.

a mimir. I loooove parallels! When we were discussing moments to be drawn I thought it would be really nice to have a little nod to their first time sharing a bed and seeing how much their relationship has changed over their journey!!

One of the issues I ran into while working on these is my struggle to keep the style consistent enough lol. ofc artists are their own biggest critics so maybe it bothers me more than it bothers everyone else ehe. In the end I do really like this one! Maybe a bit too cartoony? I hope it's not too distracting LOL!

I remember when we just started working on this I had asked Rory if they could get matching tattoos because I looooove that. But she was one step ahead of me and had already planned it hehehe ♥ We discussed some possibilities of their spelling qualities before settling on the current ones. I hope you enjoy the shoddy linework LOL I made sure to write them both with my non dominant hand. I also thought it would be funny if Ian wrote his name and then thought "fuck wait, i gotta add C for Clayton." And then quickly tried to squeeze it in. 🤣 (Also, once again me forgetting about clothing. Thank you Rory for reminding me about the bathrobe 🙏

Yeah. uh. I think mickey looks nice in this one :)

I think there will be one more art post after this one! The last one,,, aaahh! The end is nearing. I hope you're all enjoying the fic! I've been immensely enjoying reading everyone's reactions to it! Thank you so much for all your kind words ♥

[moonlit-heartbreak]

Love Languages

Xaden, Liam, Bodhi, Garrick x Reader Warnings: Slight spoilers for FW and IF, some suggestive comments and themes but nothing too explicit a/n: I love these men a little bit too much, so now you all get to enjoy my takes on each of their love languages for my first post🤭. It’s a little short and all over the place, but once my finals are over expect some longer works. Definitely let me know what you all think!

Xaden - Acts of Service

Listen, he's an important guy both as wingleader and a lieutenant and now in being on the front lines of a war, so he has to make sure to keep everyone's respect, and of course keep them all a little scared of him, so he can't get all lovey-dovey with you in public

Instead I see him being big on acts of service. Leaving you an extra piece of bread he grabbed at breakfast that morning, sharpening your swords/daggers so you're set to go for training, things of that nature

He would want to be there for you and let you know that he's looking out for you and acts of service is the perfect way for him to do that subtly but still being more involved in directly making you happy

Don't get me wrong though, when you're alone the acts of service definitely don't stop and he's good at what he does. With this I don’t mean JUST sex (even though it’d be amazing), but he would also love to brush your hair, give you a massage, whatever he can do to make you feel loved and cared for after a long day of classes and training

If there’s something specific you liked back home like a specific snack or item just know that once he finds out he’s going to be bribing one of the fliers to get it for him during a supply run so he can surprise you with it just so he can see your face light up

It works out perfect for you because not only is he making you feel like the most special person in the world with everything he does for you and how well he knows you, but getting perks like him keeping you off the schedule for your least favorite chores doesn't hurt either

The moral of the story is that he would literally do anything to make you happy, and despite how tough he acts you've got him completely wrapped around you finger

Liam - Words of Affirmation

For someone who's experienced so much loss before, he still manages to be SO kind and caring and this would 100% come through in the way he acts with his significant other, especially in terms of how he speaks to them

In public this would probably come off more as supportive and encouraging comments, helpful tips for training, or even just a quick compliment thrown in here or there. He's one of the more laid back out of all of the guys, but he still knows not to let his kindness be mistaken for weakness or allow anyone to try and use you against him, so he's careful to keep a good balance of keeping his guard up and being sweet with you

With that though, neither of you really have anything to worry about. He's the strongest cadet in his year and he trusts that you can hold your own so he'd still be pretty open with you in public

He's the type of guy who would never want to say goodbye without an 'I love you" thrown in there, even if you'd had a disagreement or you're (somehow) upset with him. Words are so important to him and he's going to make sure to tell you how he feels no matter what

I mean think about it, with all those letter he wrote to Sloane this man is a master at communication and he knows how to do it well

SO good at reassuring you. Ever doubting yourself or your abilities? Worried you’re not being a good enough partner? Nervous about opening up to him about something? He knows exactly what to say to calm you down or make you feel better every single time without fail. He just has such a way with words, and when he speaks to you in that soft "everything's going to be alright" voice there's no way you wouldn't feel at least a bit better

I have no doubt in my mind that he would have the sweetest nicknames for you and know exactly what to say when you need it, he’s just the sweetest thing to grace the continent and you’ll be reminded of that every time he speaks his sweet words that make your heart flutter

Bodhi - Physical Touch

This man... I definitely see him lovinggg physical touch. He needs you like he needs air to breathe and he isn't afraid to let the rest of the world know it

He's a confident guy so naturally he'd love to show off his significant other; walking with an arm slung over your shoulder or around your waist, sitting right next to you during meals so that your arms and legs brush against each other, holding hands or even just loosely linking your fingers together while you study, he loves it all

You two have definitely been told to get a room once or twice during training when your sparring sessions get a little too intense (gods bless the innocent bystanders who have to bear witness to that, especially the poor boys who are practically his brothers)

Obviously he knows how to balance his leadership responsibilities with spending time with you so he knows when he has to take a step back and get serious, but trust me, every chance he gets he's finding a way to be right next to you

When you guys are alone... oh boy get ready to be next to him all night long. Whether you’re laying together on one of your beds just talking before you settle in to sleep for the night, sitting on his lap while you both work on your own assignments, showering together, he’ll find a way to make everything a team effort just to be as close to you as possible

Don’t worry though, he knows when to give you your space so if there’s ever a day where you simply want a little alone time he would never push any boundaries and would respect whatever you wanted. However, if you’re trying to avoid him because you’re upset or anything of that nature he’s going to figure out what’s wrong and make sure you’re alright

Bodhi Durran the man that you are... At the end of the day he would be such a sweet partner to you and all of his actions, from full on cuddling to just brushing past each other briefly in the hallway, proves to you every day that he adores you

Garrick - Quality Time

Garrick is definitely more on the serious side, especially in public, but don't underestimate him as a partner because this man knows how to make you feel loved

Being close to you serves multiple purposes for him; it lets him keep an eye on you to make sure you're safe, and it simply brings him the sense of comfort he always gets from being near you

He’s super secure in himself and you, not doubting either of your abilities or your love for one another but just getting to be around you makes him happy. Whether it be sitting together to study, you talking his ear off about whatever antics you and your squad got up to that day, or even just training at the same time even if you’re on opposite sides of the gym sparring with different partners. Spending time with you or just being near each other is how he shows that he's there for you and that he loves you so he'll take whatever time he can get

With spending so much time with you and the fact that he’s a very observant guy, he would be able to read you like a book. There’s no hiding how you’re feeling because he’ll pick up on all of your little tells and know exactly how to go about making you feel better

Along with how observant he is and how deeply he knows you, I also feel like he would give amazing advice too. Disagreement with a friend? Not able to get the hang of a new weapon you’ve been training with? Stressed about an exam and not sure how to study? He has advice for all of it, and he knows when to step in and help you but also when you’ll want to be left alone to figure things out yourself

Whenever you both get a day off (which wouldn’t be often, I mean you have a war to prepare for) it’s always spent together. When you’re able to get some time together in Aretia, he’d take you to some tucked away corner of Riorson House him and Xaden would hang out in as kids just so you could get a few uninterrupted moments alone together, which you both cherish more and more as you inevitably get busier

He might be one of the most intimidating out of all of his friends and arguably out of most other riders as well, but underneath that sexy muscly exterior, he’s got a crazy soft spot for you; and while it might not be fully apparent to anyone who isn’t looking closely enough, you know just how much he loves you and that’s all that matters to the two of you

[y-urios]

　 　　 　ℐ　　𓈒　　𝐹rayed 𝓃𝑜tes ♮f 𝑀us𝒾𝒸 　🎹 　𓏵 　　　　　　 　 　a 2.5k special event by @y-urios

music plays a big part in our lives. even such a small step like turning on spotify & plugging in earbuds can change your mood, hence the name of the event : frayed notes of music. music has grown in many ways since 40,000 years ago..

but so have instruments & the way we play them, the way they're built, and ofc, the music, the melodies, the tunes... the main focus of this event, however will be on instruments!

looking back on this now its kind of cringe.. but hear me out i wrote it at 2am you should be proud of me for not writing freaky shit at 2am

ℐ　　𓈒　how　 to　 join 　+　 reqs 　𓏵

　𓈒　　comment "joining" and reblog mentioning at least 3 moots/blogs that you think would be interested in joining. it ends on dec 31st!

　𓈒　　dm me a number from 1-7, and i will give you either a certain instrument or a specific group/family of instruments. 　𓈒　　your goal is to make a moodboard with an image of your given instrument/instrument family (making it easier cs idont want my event to flop)

　　however if you do actaully want to try, you can try making a moodboard more revovled against your instrument / vintagey vibes

　𓈒　　once posted, don't forget to @ me and use the tag #ℐ　　𓈒　　𝐹rayed 𝓃𝑜tes ♮f 𝑀us𝒾𝒸 　🎹 　𓏵 and as usual, no plagiarism, the moodboard should be 90% your work ; fgs/divs/locs made by others are fine

note! i have made a pin board here of all the outcomes, the imgs are up to you if you would like to use them or not!

they are mainly there for anyone one who needs some inspo/help to get them started, but you definitely aren't forced to use them in your final moodboard!

ℐ　　𓈒　　　prizes!　 　𓏵

ℐ　　𓈒　　1st place　　 follow if not already, 3 moodboards by me, 100 reblogs , shoutout on my pinned post for 1 month 𓏵　　𓈒　　2nd place　　 follow if not already, 2 moodboards by me, 75 reblogs, shoutout on my blog ℐ　　𓈒　　3rd place　　 follow if not already, 1 moodboard by me, 50 reblogs, shoutout on my blog can all be negotiable &　 ℐ　𓈒　　honorable mentions get 15 rblgs

ℐ　　𓈒　　　tags!　 　𓏵 (most of my moots that i remember or kmbd community) @baesol @fairytopea @sugarish @wonjuii @y-vna

@lvioung @y-unrei @woocieul @i-kyujin @umiena

@aesverse @jimetal @n-americano @nikist-4-n @miujo

@yeritos @rkkuri @cannibalim @i9hrtszn @beompercar

　𓈒　 @tzulipss @interstellarz @softkiseu @ningrlz @lafortezs

@heavenurl @awwriri @chaeneuu @aeraras @jenfaery

@wiotas @p-oisn @k-diarys @haerinism @sxgarhan

　𓈒　 @hourlyhoon @chaey2k @jaexiyu @chaeryeos @yeoniis + anyone else

[madfantom]

Full animatic And so, part 2 of my comments, let's start.

◁Part 1 || Part 3 ▷

In the last part, and here, the order in which the children got to William is shown, and I will explain why it is not the order of the murders Here is a MEMO with missing children to make it easier to navigate, since I drew very simplistically.

I mean, when watching usually fnaf animations, I myself had the question "who the fuck are all these kids?" and, either in another animation I understood, or I did not understand at all, or the designs were so simplified that you can guess (I mean a child in all red or with a pirate armband is foxy, Freddy is all brown, etc.) So I just made outlines of their hair and costumes and that's it

It's just a little complaint here, don't pay attention, I'll just say it once, and that's because I didn't think that someone would write the same thing all the time when writing AU And one more thing. Chick's name is SOFIA. Please guys, I know that Suzy from fnaf 6 exists, okay? She's there, hell, she's even in the animation next to Cassidy. I just shifted her from being a chick to another one, not removed. And she also has an interesting role and a different design logic, I just don't have time to do everything. In fact, I even have a reason why Sofia exists and I wrote a very long text post about it, but I haven't finished drawing sketches there, so you won't see it yet. It's just that I'm starting to get a little bit hung up by the same type of comments from Pinterest, although to get rid of this, I write in big letters everywhere that it's AU

Let's go back to the animatic

I have displayed the methods of killing, which will then be reflected in the appearance of the ghosts. In fact, I took the idea from my old horror zine Fnaf art when I was thinking about how the children died there to make their appearance more creepy. Some of the ideas remained, and some were redesigned, as well as some designs

Sofia was placed in a ventilation unit. William caught her and left her there suffocating in the off ventilation , after a light strangulation, suffocating in the off ventilation. She didn't actually die, but she was the first (And I refer to this also in a custom night with the phrase "I was the first, I have seen everything!") And now imagine how the room smelled of chemicals after cleaning it from all kinds of oils and other liquids necessary for mechanisms that are very difficult to wipe off. While ventilation did not work and the girl was locked in a narrow place after she was strangled, forced to watch through the slots for the children who were after her That's why Sofia's ghost makes such a quiet clucking sound, as she coughs as if she's still in the ventilation. She won't die of suffocation, nah, in this comic she's still alive and William can cut her throat.

About the rest it is more obvious, well, not counting the pictures on the Background.

Jeremy was electrocuted, so his ghost hair is pulled up as if by an electric shock. He also has charred lips and eyelid skin and no eyebrows, and his hands have torn and charred stripes from just the same clamp. He looks like the most crippled of the three

Fritz couldn't stand the blows from blunt and sharp objects and in the end they attached a mask to his face with a nail gun or something like that and set it on fire quite a bit. Well, just a little bit. His background is directly related to the comic, which Redraw at the beginning, and now I continue. I'm still doing it, but I need a lot of time for it

Gabriella was basically cut while they wrapped one of those cables around his neck that are forever hanging on the walls in fnaf and pulled out his eye after death

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Cod Characters General Dating Headcanons (part one)

+ Random and Some bits of Chubby Fem S/O Headcanons with mentions of different nationality S/O

+ What type of BF/GF they would be

Including John Price, Simon "Ghost" Riley, John "Soap" MacTavish, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Fem terms and pronouns like she/her are used for the reader

ꕥ HOPE YOU ENJOY! ꕥ

My rules for requests and characters I can write for

Please comment if you want to be added to the taglist, the next part or cod content alone.

Taglist: @marshmallowinamess

A/n: Hi lovelies! Lia here, I'm back after a nerve-wracking week of school. This is a bit short but I hope you enjoy it otherwise. God I fucking hate school. I wrote all of this in a cold room, a heat pad on me (because period cramps) and at 3am so any mistakes will be edited out as soon as I'm aware of it.

This is divided into a multiple part thing (I think 2-3?) because God knows I can't fit them all in one post because of the limited amount of gifs and photos. I'll add more to these in the future, some are longer than others because I can't think. Also because I can't write them all at once, that's a lot to write okay 😭

Disclaimers/warnings: Typical Cod things, OOC characters???, Unrealistic, Some suggestive themes and language, I'm so sorry but English is not my first language so please don't come after me. Most of the content I've seen are on TikTok and Tumblr I don't actually play the game but I love the characters so much, same with any other content I have for other video games.

Tiny sidenote: the reader in this has been describe to be shorter than the characters and has been mentioned to have a soft body rather than the muscular type.

John Price

ꕥ (OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIS SMILEEE) (He's such a quokka)

ꕥ Price who literally is such a father figure, doesn't matter whether the relationship between you two is romantic or platonic. He often takes the dominant caring role.

ꕥ Doesn't smoke around you, doesn't matter if you insist he doesn't. He still won't and definitely will criticize you if you try or do smoke because he doesn't want you do end up like him.

ꕥ If there's a bit of an age gap between you, I'd say he's hesitant. Definitely afraid of what the rest of the task force thinks (He can't help it, they're basically his boys)

ꕥ John Price who wants to settle down with you, maybe have kids if you want but just a white picket fence life with you without the chaos that is war and his job.

ꕥ He only ever let's you have his hat, only when he gives it to you though. Most of the time it would be while you're out, he'd put it on your head from his. (Cowboy hat rule? I heard that in more respectful terms rather than sexual, it respectfully means that you are theirs)

ꕥ John Price who rests his chin at the top of your head no matter how much he needs to crouch down whenever hugging you from behind. Love doing it whenever you're busy doing something too. (Props for the effort because you cannot tell me he doesn't have back, neck and knee pains)

ꕥ Is constantly worried if you share the same line of work, like at first it was nothing but a tiny crush and slowly he finds himself caring about your well-being more and more over time.

ꕥ Can't help but think he's an acts of service type of guy, reaching up for things you need or better yet lifting you up so you can reach them and loves opening things for you like bottles or anything canned. (Girlies who get their nails done or wear press ons know this struggle ( I'm a press on girly)

ꕥ The kind of man who would turn on some oldies music and slow dance with you in the living room, your footsteps and breathing being the only other sounds as you smile at each other, foreheads against the other's.

Simon "Ghost" Riley

ꕥ Ghost who is such Doberman/Black cat boyfriend. Like have you seen this man? He's so tall and intimidating, one distasteful look from him and if it was physically possible that person would drop dead.

ꕥ Ghost whose a chubby chaser through and through, he just looks for something different from what he's used to.

ꕥ Is definitely a tits kinda guy, doesn't matter how big or how small they are. He'll definitely play with them in some way during doing the you know what.

ꕥ Feels like you can take him and his size better because of your plush body. Has a size kink and likes seeing it bulge a bit when he's inside you.

ꕥ You're just so soft and warm, he wants something away from what he usually feels doing his job. Not really that touchy but he gets quite clingy within closed doors.

ꕥ Likes to squeeze your thighs, his grip on them would not falter. Doesn't matter whether it's in a sexual or domestic way.

ꕥ Thinks you deserve better than what he can offer and needs constant reassurance, never says it out loud but you pick up on what he feels. (please be patient with him)

ꕥ More often than not, he thinks you're quite fragile. Even if you can protect yourself, one of his ways of showing you he loves you is through protecting you. Hence the Doberman boyfriend scenario.

ꕥ Doesn't like PDA but knows when it's necessary, him placing his arm around your shoulder is enough to keep perverts in their places. If that rando is really that bold then they'll most likely end up with a few broken bones depending on how pissed Simon is.

ꕥ If you work alongside him, he'd constantly worry about your well-being but at the same time is conflicted because he's confident that he can protect you.

ꕥ Only you and the TF141 can call him Simon, he still feels uneasy when he gets called that but when it's you saying it, it doesn't sound as daunting to him. Still dislikes in in certain tones of voice because his name reminds him of his past.

ꕥ You've seen his face, it took a long time but after that he trusted you enough to show him. The fact that you didn't find his face revolting and even kissed his scars while cupping his face was enough for him to want to marry you.

ꕥ Isn't fully insecure about his face but has his moments. (You know like the voice line where soap asks him to take off his mask and asked him if he was ugly and Ghost said "Negative")

ꕥ Takes a little while to get him to open up and little things like letting you hold him takes him a bit of time to get used to because it makes him feel vulnerable.

ꕥ God forbid something were to happen to you and he couldn't do anything to stop it, Simon would lose his fucking mind.

John "Soap" MacTavish

ꕥ Soap is a Golden Retriever boyfriend through and through. He's energetic, loyal and really affectionate.

ꕥ He's a lighthearted flirt at first because he doesn't wanna scare you off but damn does he gradually get bolder over time.

ꕥ Very hands on, touchy, and could be clingy at times unless you don't consent him, secretly always finding new ways to touch you.

ꕥ A sucker for cheek kisses, lips are his favorite but he can't help but break out a wide grin whenever you kiss his cheek. Can't help but feel kinda manly whenever you do.

ꕥ Adores making you laugh, no matter how stupid your sense of humor is he will absolutely say that joke if it gets a laugh out of you. Would be concerned if you had a dark sense of humor but will eventually get used to it. To describe it, hearing you laugh makes his heart feel full like in a content domestic way.

ꕥ Also, see the gif? You cannot tell me that he doesn't look at you that way because he absolutely would.

ꕥ Loves your weight against his body to the pint he's begging you to lay on him. You, him in the bed while he's shirtless with grey sweatpants on and you in your night clothes sharing each other's warmth with your head on his broad chest.

ꕥ Shows you silly and cute pet videos, especially the cat ones:

"[Name], look at this one!"

"Soap, we're not adopting a pet. Not right now at least"

ꕥ He was upset and gave you puppy eyes the whole time because the only time he had pet was when he was child, it was a hamster which was killed because it got sucked into the vacuum by his older sister.

ꕥ You're the only one allowed to tough his hair, he's very proud of his mohawk and will let you style it. Won't wear it out if you did something silly to it though.

ꕥ Soap who loves showing you off to everyone, loves light PDA but doesn't wanna potential put a target on your back.

ꕥ He definitely is the guy you want to take home to your family and friends (or found family <3), he's funny and easy to get along with. Very flirty with you but he'll straighten out because he's terrified on making a bad impression.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

ꕥ (HE'S SO FREAKING UNDERRATED WITHIN THIS FANDOM)

ꕥ He gives Labrador boyfriend vibes, you can't help but want to take care of him.

ꕥ Gaz who literally had to do a double take when he first saw you, he turned to Soap with that "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" look in a good way.

ꕥ Gaz who literally had to ask you out multiple times before you said yes thinking he's only doing it for a bet or a cruel joke.

ꕥ Constant reassurance from him because he doesn't want you to feel insecure about your looks because to him you are literally an angel.

ꕥ Loves to chill with you, cuddling and just relaxing. Maybe scrolling on TikTok occasionally and show you the funny ones he chuckled at.

ꕥ He has a sixth sense whenever you crave something, say you want chocolate or drink of some sort then he'd definitely being home whatever it is you we're craving without having to ask you.

ꕥ Kyle who has your Starbucks order memorized because he likes being the one to order things for you. Will playfully argue with you on who'll pay this time. (Don't even try anymore, he always wins anyway)

ꕥ Puts his hat on your head mostly when you're out, has done it the first time because it was hot out and the sun was in your eyes. He's picked it up from Price and once you smiled at him through the shade of his cap, he has not stopped doing it.

ꕥ Definitely a words of affirmation and acts of service kind of guy when it comes to love languages. Sometimes whenever he'd give you two thumbs up and a cheeky smile, you can't help but laugh a little.

ꕥ He's very thoughtful, so much so that he prides himself in knowing you better than anyone. Everytime you two go out to eat, when he gets something and know that you'll want to taste it (he knows damn well whether you'll like it or not when he tastes it) he'll bring it upon himself to order you one before you even say you want some.

ꕥ Soft snores when he sleeps, it's cute but you know damn well he's tired. Also I think he's very cuddly, like he just likes reminding himself that he's not alone and that his bed is warm because you're in it. Therefore at minimum always has an arm around you in bed.

ꕥ Dances in the rain with you and loves it when you pull him gently on his arm while your hands are intertwined. Takes note of how the the raindrops sometimes fall on your lashes while you look up at him smiling.

ꕥ Kyle Garrick who wants nothing more in the world to see you happy and smiling. His "this is the woman I'm going to marry" moment was when you baked his favorite cake for his birthday despite it being so hard, you nailed it perfectly. (Whether it's out of luck or skill is up to you)

Alejandro Vargas

ꕥ (idk how to write for this angry Mexican man but I'll try my best, love him and his megamind hairline though <3)

ꕥ Alejandro is definitely a flirt, a very bold on at that. He's quite forward when it comes to liking someone so yeah.

ꕥ He lives for it when you boss him around. That being said, he isn't picky about body type or any of the sort.

ꕥ Will teach you Spanish if you don't know any, definitely prioritizes the curse words and laughs whenever you jokingly call him pendejo.

ꕥ Wouldn't mind you teaching him your own culture and mother tongue. Bonus points if it's similar to his.

ꕥ Has Spanish nicknames for you because I imagine his own culture is important to him.

ꕥ Would hate it if you had the same line of work but will never take it out on you, it's just that it's so dangerous given the people he's involved with. (It's definitely Valeria)

ꕥ Speaking of El Sinombre, I don't think they had anything romantic going on. It's mainly platonic and the "betrayal" sucked on Alejandro's side. They definitely had some rivalry and the tension was through the roof. (Mainly because I headcanon Valeria as Lesbian)

ꕥ Can be so romantic when he tries, you can't tell me this mf ain't a smooth talker because he definitely is. Can be very blunt like in a forward way with his affection too.

ꕥ Likes kissing your wrist and feeling your pulse against his lips because it reminds him you're alive. (The amount of angst this scenario carries would be something I'm up for to write)

ꕥ Is sent on a fit of rage when something happens to you, say you got kidnapped then this man would tears off the walls of every building if he had to.

Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra

ꕥ (ANOTHER UNDERATED CHARACTER)

ꕥ Another Golden Retriever boyfriend. This man is just loving and dotting, very husband material.

ꕥ Loves chubby women, has a soft spot for them and just likes holding them.

ꕥ He's definitely used to the insecurity that comes with the body, also doesn't get why such beauty standards are even in place. Has and would fuck the insecure out of you again if he had to. (It's in a very gentle and loving manner)

ꕥ If you hold him in your arms, he'd be absolutely living for it. He already has had a long day and being honest he hasn't had many lovers that went far so having you care in this way about him would have him wrapped around your finger.

ꕥ Worships the ground you walk on. That's it.

ꕥ Would take everything to heart whenever you teach him or mention something within your culture if you aren't of Spanish origins like he is. He just loves you so much that it makes him happy knowing more about you.

ꕥ Would adore slow dancing with you, brings him back to reality where he realizes that he has you and that you're there.

ꕥ Terrified that one day you'll end up leaving him so reassurance would be much appreciated by him.

ꕥ Definitely a sucker for receiving forehead kisses, as for giving he likes to kiss the back of your hand.

ꕥ If ever danger presents itself to you too closely, he would have a heart attack like full on crying but not in public though.

[satxnsupreme666]

Even after all these years: Agatha Harkness/Agnes x Fem!Reader

Masterlist

Summary: You´re a witch, your mother was killed by witch-hunters and you end up in New Salem where you meet Agatha, you fall in love with her but what happens when the coven accuses her of practicing dark magic?

Words: 3000+

Warnings: Fem reader, angst (well kind of), but apart from that, I do not think there’s something else.

Author´s notes:

This was one of the first stories I wrote three years ago, I had posted them on Tumblr on my old account, but due to my mental health, I had to take a break from Tumblr and the toxicity and hate that had suddenly increased, I deleted all of my stories and my old account, now I have decided to upload them again here on Tumblr and also on Ao3.

Again, as this was one of the first stories I wrote for Agatha Harkness is a little bit short, I will be uploading the rest of the stories from time to time, I have to edit them and make sure they are legible enough and with not a lot of grammatical errors.

I hope you enjoy!

If you enjoy, could you comment, like or reblog? it would help a lot really ♥️

You were born in 1670, in Massachusetts, and as well as your mother, you were a witch.

While growing up, your mother taught you some basic spells that you could perform without any problem, you were just 6 years old and your mother said you held a lot of power, she was very proud that at such a young age, you could cast spells without making a lot of effort, it was so natural and easy for you.

You were always a curious child, so when your showed signs of wanting to know more, your mother started to teach everything else she knew, from making potions to different spells and to conjure stronger things, she was willing to show and teach you every single thing that she had learnt before.

From your usual spot at the table you always watched her make beverages, different creams, herbal potions and liquids all made out of herbs, she used them to help different people, she made potions that could disappear the effects of a poisoning, and she had a huge knowledge about all different kind of herbs, you were amazed about that, you really admired your mother.

You were just 7 years old when you started to read her herbal books and when you didn’t understand a word you would ask her the meaning, and while you were entertained or doing any other thing, she was always making sure you were alright, and that you were safe, that’s why she had casted a spell all around your hidden cottage, so that no one, not even the witch-hunters could find both of you

On your 9th birthday she gave you a book of spells, the cover of the book was hard, it was made out of leather, you passed your hand through the cover to feel the texture and you smiled, you were amazed, it contained thousands of spells which you started to practice right away, for you it was a dream come true, you were eager to start learning each one of them, so you tried to memorize almost all of them, your mother would always watch you while she read a book in a corner, sitting on a chair, reading out loud in your room or just reading silently outside in the backyard.

In 1690 at night you were preparing an herbal tea that accelerated the healing process of wounds, but in the middle of the preparation you heard gunshots coming from outside your mother’s cottage

Panic filled your entire body but you tried to remain calm, remembering all of the protection and conjuring spells that your mother had taught you, you were not about to back off, ready to attack whoever was outside the once hidden cottage, but before you could conjure a fireball the door flew open, revealing your panicked mother running straight towards you

When your eyes landed on her panicked figure, worry started to grow inside you, you had never seen her in such an altered state, before you could even ask her what was wrong or what had happened to her she spoke first, trying to catch her breath she almost spat her words

 -“You have to run way, I thought I had kept you safe and that they would never find us, I was so wrong, they’re here y/n, there are at least 7 of them on their way” -

 You knew right away of about whom she was talking about, witch-hunters

-“Mom we can leave together! We can run together; I’m not going to leave you here!”-

 - “Oh, my sweet y/n, I can’t, I won’t make it, they will take you too”-

 You frowned in confusion, what was she talking about? You couldn’t understand, until you realized, she had been holding her side with her left hand, she had been shot and tears started to run through your cheeks

- “c'mon mom, we can make it, I- I can give you something to help you heal the wound, I won’t leave you here!”-

 You took you mother’s free hand in your own ones, you were shaking, trembling, and fear was consuming you

 -“It’s too late for me, it was a silver bullet, it will take longer for me to heal, hours and we don’t have time, here take this”-

 She took her hand out of yours and with her shaking hand ripped her necklace and then took the brooch from her lilac collar blouse, and handed them to you

 -“Take this with you and never forget, I will always be with you”-  she put her hand on you face, caressing your cheek, she wiped away the fresh tears that had fallen from your eyes and put her own forehead against yours

 -“I won’t leave you; I can’t leave you here to die”-  You were choking on your own tears and she was sobbing as well as you-

 She shushed you and said that everything was going to be ok

-“I love you y/n”-  your mother said and put her hand in your temple and started to chant something in an unknown language, before you had the chance to ask something you realized what was happening, smoke of a baby blue color surrounded you and before closing your eyes you saw 5 men entering into your cottage yelling to each other to catch the witch, you started to scream and tried to conjure something but suddenly everything went black, you didn’t feel your mother’s grip loosening and then disappearing, but when you opened your eyes again, you were in the middle of a misty forest, hastily you turned your head to the sides and looked for you mother, you were shocked.

Tightening the grip around the necklace and the brooch that you mother gave you, she was nowhere to be seen, you did not know what to do so you started to run through the thick forest.

What had happened? How did you end up in the middle of a forest? But most important where was you mother? suddenly you remembered everything, and images of the witch Hunters entering to your house took your breath away, you gasped for air, everything around you was blurry and you felt dizzy, you tried to keep yourself steady and tried to reach for something, to keep your balance and not to fall, but you tripped over something and lost your balance, you were too tired to even try to hold onto something, so you just let yourself fall, you waited for the hard hit against the rough surface, but the hit never came, instead you felt  two strong arms catching you and tightened around your waist, you tried to see who had caught you and lifted your head a little but the only thing that you had caught a glimpse of was of some long strands of dark-brown hair before you passed away.

The sunrays started to bother you, why had your mother opened the shutters, you were sure it was 7 in the morning because of the way you felt, your body ached and you didn’t want to rise from bed, it was weird, a smell of lavender and vanilla filled your nostrils, it was so good, something you had never smelled before, it was calming and you felt relaxed, you turned yourself to the other side of the bed to hug your pillow, but you found nothing, it was strange, you didn’t remember your mother taking your pillow to be washed, but it was at that instant, in which you remembered everything that had happened the day before, you opened your eyes and hastily sat down on the bed, ready to leave but you felt a hand against your shoulder and you were greeted by a pair of piercing baby blue eyes. The woman in front of you gently pushed you back against the soft purple mattress and you laid back.

-“ You need to calm down, sweetheart you fainted last night, I caught you before you could hit the ground, why were you alone in the woods at night?”-

-“ My mother! I need to go back to look for her, she’s in danger, some witch hunters shot her and I do not know what happened, she said something in another language and the next thing I knew I was standing in the middle of a forest and…” -  You stopped rambling and started to touch your clothes and you hair, Agatha understood that you were looking for something and took something out of her pocket dress, she gently touched your face to catch your attention and showed you her hand, your eyes became glossy, you stopped for a moment and slowly reached her hand with yours, she handed you the brooch and the pendant.

- “Sweetheart I’m sorry about what happened, those witch-hunters keep looking for us…” -  Before she kept talking, she looked at your palm and hers, she could feel your soft hand against hers and she changed what she was going to say next

  - “ I noticed you had this with you and I supposed it was yours, even though you fainted you still had a tight grip around this so I took it from your hand to keep it safe” -

 She looked at you in a curious way, you were mesmerized by her beauty, you had never seen such a beautiful woman like her, she radiated something else even though you could tell what it was, but you could feel it, before you could keep staring at her, you remembered her first words about the witch Hunters looking for you, you were surprised, did that mean that she was a witch too?

-“Are you a witch too?”-

She laughed about your question, her laugh was a little bit loud but at the same time it was kind of soothing, but you did not understand why she was laughing, she saw you frowning and stopped, she looked right in your eyes before speaking again with a serious look

- “We´re in New Salem, only witches with great power can enter this place, New Salem has been hidden for centuries, people who don’t have powers can´t enter, this place is totally invisible for humans, only witches like you and me can enter this place”- She stopped for a moment

- “So, you’ve never heard of New Salem?”-  She asked and you just shook your head

She looked surprised for a moment and gave you a quick look, a witch as powerful as you who could enter New Salem only could come from a mother or should have descendants with great power too, how came that you’ve never heard of the place, every powerful witch had been there before, the older witch in charge of the Coven had registered every witch that had been in New Salem

- “What is your name?”-  She asked

- “My name´s Y/N Le Fay, why do you ask?”- Your told her, confused in why she was suddenly interested in knowing your name

She seemed to be deep in her thoughts before talking again

“I was curious, and now that you told me your name, I will tell you mine, the name´s Agatha Harkness and now that we have introduced each other properly, it´s a pleasure to finally meet you dear”-

You smiled, she was very charming and you felt your face becoming hotter because you realised both of you had been holding hands all this time, you started to blush and Agatha found the fact interesting and cute.

-“What am I going to do now? – You asked, you still did not know what to do or what to think, by this time the witch-hunters had already taken your mother, and again you felt tears in the corner of your eyes threatening to fall, before you could do anything, Agatha pushed you to her chest, she was hugging you, and even if Agatha had just met you, she wanted to give you some comfort, her action only made you close your eyes and cry into her chest, she put her hand in your hair and stroke it, Agatha told you that everything was going to be ok, that the witch-hunters could not enter New Salem and that she would take care of you, by the time you had calmed down, you withdrew yourself from her and looked right into her eyes, she had no malice in her eyes and she had saved you, you felt safe with her and decided to give her a smile, maybe not everything was bad.

Since that day Agatha and you were inseparable, she presented you to the other witches and to the one in charge of everything, they let you stay and also gave you a room to sleep in, plus your room was next to Agatha´s room.

You still remembered the exact day when the older witch Madam Lane, the one in charge,  took you to your room and gave you new clothes, after examining every corner of the room and the ceiling you heard a slight knock on you door and went to answer, Agatha was standing right in front of you with some flowers and greeted you, again  –“Hi, I´m Agatha, your neighbour to the right”-  You started to laugh, she always had the power to make you smile even on your worse days, and that was one of the many things you loved about her, she was always so carefree, and she stood for herself, for you and for the things she believed in.

From time to time you would shut down remembering your mother and how much you missed her and you just wanted to lie on your bed and sleep without nobody interrupting you, but on those days Agatha had been there, all of the bad days, she would held you and stroke your hair or your back, she was so attentive, always asking if you were ok or if you needed something, without knowing you started to fall in love with her.

One day when you were studying some spells on a bench in the huge garden, one of the older witches of the coven came to your side, you tensed, you knew the other witches did not like you, Agatha was the one who made you feel safe and showed you how much she cared for you, you decided it would be better to leave the bench and as you were about to leave not wanting to bother the older witch, she grabbed the book you were reading, you tried to reach for it but she was stronger, she stood in front of you, blocking your sight

- “What are you going to do? How is it that a witch like you can be here anyway? You have never casted any powerful spells, you´re the weakest, also why Agatha would hang with someone like you though- “

She did not finish her last sentence because Agatha sent her flying to the other side of the garden, you were shocked, you watched her body colliding against the ground and before you knew Agatha was standing in front of her

She said something to her, you couldn’t hear what she said but when the girl finally stood, she tried to run, Agatha then came flying to your side, and hold your hand closer to her chest

“Are you alright? Did she do something to you?”-

She started to check for any injuries and when she did not find any injuries, she sighed in relief

-“Agatha what did you do? She´s going to tell to Madam Lane, she will ground you”-

You put your hand against her cheek and stroke it, you were so in love with her, you put your free hand on her neck and caressed the softness of her skin, she noticed you looking at her lips and took this as chance, she was a tad taller than you and she leaned her face to kiss you.

The kiss was soft and you loved the feeling of her lips against yours, you returned the kiss and she put her hands on your waist and brought you closer to her, when you feel the need to breathe again you separated a little and looked at her

-“I love you Agatha and I think I´ve done it since I first met you even if it sounds impossible”- You smiled at her and with your hand hooked one strand of her hair behind her ear, and then you caressed her cheek

“I love you too y/n and I think I´ve done it since I caught you stopping you from falling to the ground”-

You felt your heart full of love for this woman, you loved her with every piece of your heart

“Let me love you till the end of our lives; I will fix your heart and I will fill every empty space of it”

She whispered to you and you found yourself blushing, just as many other times when you were with her, she could not believe that you returned her feelings

-“Of course, I will let you love me, and I promised I will fill every part of your heart with my love too, what I feel for you I´ve never felt it before and it´s real” – You said back to her and you kissed her again

-“Also, thanks for saving me from that girl, you shouldn’t have done it, you will get yourself in trouble”- you said while stroking her cheek

-“Do not thank me my love, I will always have your back and I won´t let anyone hurt you, I will protect you with my life”- saying that she kissed you again, that was for sure the best day of your life.

On 1693 was the worst day of your life, the coven had taken Agatha for a trial, they said that Agatha had been playing with dark magic, you knew that was false, she had never told you anything related to dark magic, she could never, someone had said lies about her to madam Lane.

While she was been taken to the post, you were behind all of them yelling and begging them to let your girlfriend free, it was all a mistake.

Two witches were stopping you from getting free and also had put magical ropes to your hands, to prevent you from using your magic, you watched in horror as they tied you girlfriend to the post and while she was grunting with pain they tied their hands with magic too, you saw 10 witches surrounding your girlfriend and making a circle around her, in front of her was Madam Lane, you heard her asking if she was a witch, Agatha  said yes but Madam Lane said to her that she had betrayed the coven, but that was a lie, she could never! You tried to remove yourself from the two witches holding you, but they had a strong grip around both of your arms.

Before you could move again you heard Madam Lane accusing Agatha of practicing dark magic, your girlfriend said that she did not know anything of that crimes but Madam Lane told her to stop, you looked Agatha staying quiet for a moment before speaking again

-“I did not break your rules, they simply bent to my power”-

You gasped in shock; has she been lying to you all this time?

You looked at her with a lot of sadness in your eyes you could not believe, you told one another every single thing!

She looked at you and she could not stand the look in your face – “I´m sorry my love, I´m sorry I couldn’t help myself!”-

Tears started to run through your face, you were scared, even though she had lied to you, she did not deserve to die, you couldn’t stand the idea of her dying

- “Please Madam Lane, untie her, she´s sorry it was all mistake! You can´t burn her, she´s one of us!-

Before you could keep talking all the witches started to chant in Latin, you were confused, what were they doing? You saw your girlfriend struggling against the wooden post, and you began to worry too

Agatha looked at you and yelled to you “Do not worry my love, I will be ok, nothing will happen to me, we will be together just as we planned”- You saw the tears running through her cheeks and you couldn’t stop yourself from sobbing harder.

Your worry begins to grow harder when you saw the blue magic emanating from the hands of the witches

-“Stop! What are you doing!?”-

When your heard Agatha calling Madam Lane “mother” you felt yourself getting lost for words, Agatha never told you that she was her mother, she never mentioned it, and you never suspected anything, they rarely talk to each other, how was possible, how did you miss all of those things? However, your thoughts stopped and you screamed in horror as you watched the witches throwing their blue magic hurting Agatha, your girlfriend started to scream, she was in pain, you couldn’t stand watching her in pain, but when the blue magic turned purple, you were perplexed, was Agatha doing that? She stopped screaming and turned her head to look around her, the purple magic touched the witches and all of them started to agonize, they were starting to look like corpses, was Agatha consuming their power and their life? Her mother rose from the ground and she attacked Agatha, when her mother´s powers got to her, it was as if they were making her more powerful, she freed herself from the magical ropes and her hand and eyes glowed purple she released a huge amount of the power and all of the witches fell to the floor looking like corpses, one thing she did not realized it was that her magic had thrown you away hitting really hard a tree, you fell to the ground without her noticing.

When she was done with her mother, she turned her head hastily at her sides, she looked for you and you were nowhere to be seen, she panicked, so she ran and looked between the corpses, had you run away from her? Were you afraid of her now? She did not know what had happened, but when she took a glimpse of your dress, lying down on the ground she could not stop herself from screaming, she crouched down to take your body into her arms she could not believe it, she sobbed, she hugged and pressed your body against hers and told you how much she loved you, she had sworn to protect you and on the contrary she had hurt you, she could not believe it, she thought she had killed you, she thought you were dead because of her, she could not stand watching you like this because of her.

She took your face with her hands and caressed your face one more time, kissed your lips for the last time and stood up, she left your body on the ground and left, she would not love again.

｡ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ｡˚｡ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ｡˚

Agatha arrived to Westview, she had rehearsed her script one time, she was ready to knock on Wanda´s door, she changed her purple drees into a beautiful plaid dress, which matched exactly to the 50´s era, she even changed her hairstyle, when she decided she was ready she went straight to knock on Wanda´s, she was not looking when the door was opened, she was distracted by the plant she had in her hands, so she started to talk before looking at the person in front of her.

 - “Hello, dear, I´m Agnes, your neighbor to the right”-

However she stopped death in her tracks when she realized who was the person in front of her, she saw you, the person she thought she would never see again, a lot of thoughts passed through her head and she for once in her life did not know what to do, you the love of her life, you were right in front of her, was this faith to let her mend what she had done and get you back? You smiled at her, it was obvious that you were under Wanda´s mind control, and she wanted to cry, you were suffering on the inside and she could not do anything for now, Wanda would notice if someone broke away from her mind control so she decided she would help you, but how? Even after all these years, she still loved you the same.

[ldrfanatic]

r9 for mattheo riddle pls🙏

shakin', pacin', I just need you

mattheo riddle x fem!hufflepuff!reader

r9 - "for you I would fall from grace, just to touch your face"

gonna be at the dentist office w my bf for the next three to four hours so I'm gonna try and clear out my requests <3

lowkey I was praying someone would request this for mattheo

part two anyone?

y'all I could not find where I wrote down my mattheo taglist so if you wanna be added please please PLEASE comment on this post so I can start a new one thanksss

slytherin boys works

"y/n are you even listening to me?"

the voice of hannah abbot, a fellow hufflepuff, tore your eyes from your only slytherin friend albeit reluctantly. when you finally looked towards your friend, her mouth was turned up into a disapproving frown.

"no. I know you think he's your friend, but he's not."

she wasn't entirely wrong. afterall, you couldn't honestly say that you'd exchanged more than a few words with the boy, though it wasn't for lack of opportunity. he'd approached you on more than one occasion but neither of you ever seemed to actually speak.

really, it was because mattheo felt stumped by you. he'd spent a lot of time with different girls while he'd been at hogwarts. but when he tried to approach you, he fumbled. every. single. time. that was how he first knew you were special.

the kind of girl that made him want to face his father's wrath even though he knew that liking you would be more than enough for a crucio.

between your friends, his family, and his inability to articulate his thoughts around you, mattheo never really got the chance to talk to you.

that is, until now.

somehow, by the grace of the universe, snape had paired you with him for the d.a.d.a. project studying boggarts. you touched on them briefly in your third year but due to lupin's condition, didn't get the chance to finish them. for once, mattheo actually wanted to do schoolwork and do well on this project so you didn't resent him for a bad grade.

as class was dismissed, a hand softly grabbed your wrist.

"wait."

it was mattheo. he was actually speaking words to you rather than just sitting there and staring. it was almost unsettling if anything.

"d'you maybe wanna meet in the library after classes and..."

you smiled sweetly and nodded.

"are you sure you can handle it riddle? don't you have to be talking to someone to study with them?"

there was a teasing tone in your voice which caused mattheo's face to bloom and pink to tinge over the tips of his ears. suddenly, like a switch had flipped, a cocky smile took over his face.

"i can't help it if you take my breath away. maybe you just bring out the best in me like that."

caught off by his banter and yet undeterred, you continued.

"well we all know that you're at your best when you shut up."

you spoke the words with a teasing smile. his jaw fell promptly open at your words, completely surprised that a hufflepuff would say something like that. while mattheo attempted to collect himself, you shoved your dark arts textbook into your satchel and swung it up onto your shoulder.

"the library. tonight. 5pm sharp. don't be late riddle."

five o'clock could not come fast enough. potions with professor scalby was simply exhausting. she was a kind enough women which was a nice change from professor snape after she'd taken over the class following his promotion to d.a.d.a., but the woman had a love for potions that you could safely say no one else in the class really shared. unless you counted hermione granger, a sweet enough gryffindor also in your year.

by the time that scalby finished gushing about the amortentia your class would attempt to brew next week, you were sure you'd aged an entire year in this class alone.

finally, after what seemed like an eternity, class was dismissed. you quickly packed your books away and scurried off to the library, arriving a decent few minutes before mattheo sauntered in with an otherworldly confused look on his face.

"sorry i'm a little late. i got lost."

he spoke to you in a deep yet gentle rumble that had your heart beating a little faster in your chest. it was hard not to notice the way that he gawked at the old century library which was probably your favorite collection of books in the whole world.

"have you never been here before?"

mattheo's dark curls bounced atop his head as he shook it slowly. he looked down at his large hands with what appeared to be shame.

"i've never really taken an interest in school before."

wanting to make him feel better you gently bumped your shoulder into his as the two of you walked back towards the study tables.

"you're taking an interest now."

"in you."

his words made the both of you settle into a thick silence. though it was hard not to notice his lingered stares across the great hall or after a slytherin-hufflepuff match, it was the first time that he'd spoken words aloud that alluded to his feelings for you, and it seemed to catch the both of you off guard.

after a moment's pause, mattheo spoke again.

"i-uh, i don't know why i said that i'm sorry."

you reached your hand out from across the table where the two of you had settled down and grasped his hand in yours. you flashed him a reassuring smile.

"don't be."

abruptly, mattheo let out a strangled noise of frustration and tugged at his hair with his fingers.

"i can't do this anymore."

your heart thumped so quickly against your ribcage, you feared it might stop beating altogether.

"can't do what anymore?"

"this, y/n. i can't keep posing that i want to be your friend and do friendly things together like study at the library."

now your heart was breaking. hannah was right. mattheo riddle was not your friend and-- oh. mattheo riddle was not done speaking.

"i can't keep pretending when i want to be so much more than friends with you. when i want to do very not friendly things with you. to you. when i feel like throwing these books on the floor and yanking you across this table and pressing every part of your body against every part of mine."

instead of doing that, he stood from his seat and knelt in front of you. it felt weird to have the son of the dark lord on his knees in front of you all but begging you to be his girlfriend.

"i know i'm not the chosen one or anything and i'm never gonna be the good guy. but damnit if i have to stay away from you any longer i don't think i could stand it."

his confession stunned you into silence. how the hell could yoou possibly respond to that?

"say something, please."

a hopeful look had taken over his features. his brown eyes sparkled under the dim library lights.

"i don't care that you're not the protagonist mattheo. i would fall from grace for you."

---

<taglist>

@blobsblobician @helendeath

07.07.2024

[felibrary]

╭──╯PAIRING: aventurine x fem!reader

CHAPTER SYNOPSIS:  Out of everyone this could’ve happened to, of course, it struck you. As a barista, you meet new customers every day but a fateful encounter with a stupid(ly handsome) stranger, turns into two and three and to the point of no return, and somewhere along the way catching yourself faltering for his persistent charms annoyance.

WORDCOUNT: 4.2k

CONTENT & GENERAL WARNINGS: fem!reader, barista!reader, cursing, light angst if you squint, fluff, march is the n1 shipper, vague mentions of ratio, banter and bickering (more from readers side), no beta-read we die like baiheng

AUTHOR'S NOTE: the last chapter was posted like 2 weeks ago? i think not sure. sorry guys i just had no motivation in the previous few weeks at all 😭😭 but here it is, enjoy! also just cause this took super long to write doesn't equal it being super good 😓

ART CREDITS: none of the characters or art belong to me all art credits go to @/kkuekkue on x!

TAGLIST: @azullumi,@sunananaa, @milksnake-tea, @iceunhie, @nayukiyukihira, @jjzlisu, @raideneiari (if you want to be added to the tag list write a comment or send me an off anon ask! ^^)

PREVIOUS || MASTERLIST || NEXT

“Order for uh.” you abruptly stop your sentence. Furrowing your brow in confusion you look at the questionable name that is written on the paper cup that you’re currently holding in your hand. Your gaze drifts over to the barista behind you. “March..” you whisper through gritted teeth, trying to maintain a smile while pausing for a brief moment to study the face of the girl with the cotton candy-like hair. 

The short girl hums quietly, “What is it?” she tilts her head to the side, a milk-frothing pitcher in her right hand, almost empty. “And why are we whispering?” admittedly you’re not even sure yourself, after all, people come up with silly names all the time, so why are you refraining from saying this name out loud?

“Well, I'm whispering because I don't want the other customers to listen into our conversation, but, are you sure that you wrote the right name here?” you ask the girl behind you doubtfully before directing your view towards the letters that were written in cursive and were adorned by little stars and flowers drawn by none other than March. 

The '*•.¸♡𝓐𝓿𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓮 ♡¸.•*' which she wrote in cursive (and if you may add, kind of crooked) made you raise your eyebrows as you held the cup in front of her face for her to see.

She always had a habit of drawing cute smiley faces or hearts onto the cups, reasoning it by saying that it’d sweeten the customers' day. Although you’re not sure if that’s really necessary, their day probably already gets sweetened enough from the amount of sugar and sweetener March puts into the drinks.

She huffs, feigning hurt and acting offended by your question “If you want to suspect someone, blame her!” March’s eyes drift over to the silver-haired girl who is currently sitting next to the trash can near the staff rooms, playing video games and thus blocking the way: Stelle. 

The girl in question quickly lifts her head and just smiles sheepishly as if not knowing what’s going on right now. “She’s the one who gave me the receipts and told me the names before you took over, I just added the condiments and started creating cute latte art!.” you sigh at that. Well, whoever gave Stelle their name will probably be able to recognize it sooner or later anyway. 

The worst case scenario that could probably happen is the customer putting their hands on the counter and starting to scream and yell at you to the point where their spit lands in your eyes. Urging to talk to your manager: Pompom. If the customer would see them the customer would probably start scolding you for bringing out the mascot instead of the manager, leaving the shop and giving you zero stars on Maps. (definitely not talking from any former experiences.) Yeah, hopefully, that won’t happen.

You let out a throaty cough before loudly shouting once again “Order for Aventurine!” you really wonder whose mom named their kid after a quartzite stone now — hell, if you let your guard down, the next person who you’d have to call up is someone named Ashleigh or Jonaslian. 

What’s up with women who are only maybe one or two decades older than, and their obsession with horrible baby names?

“Hellooo” the o of the greeting gets dragged out by the owner of the sing-song voice. “Earth to the cashier.” The next thing you know is a hand that is covered in a black leather glove,  waving at your face, moving in a repetitive up-and-down motion. The gesture makes you snap out of the haze which you were in, and slightly shake your head, before looking up at the customer and getting a good glance at them.  

In front of you stood possibly the hottest man you’ve ever seen. Blond silky hair and was dressed in a crisp black waistcoat that was draped around his slim torso, wearing a turquoise button-up underneath it that was adorned with gold decorations around his collar. His tie that matched his waistcoat was adjusted perfectly so that it sat in the right place. Black leather gloves envelop his slender fingers. 

The last time you were enamored by someone was when you were 9 reaching 10, and seeing Asami Sato bumping into Mako with her motorcycle on TV for the first time made you fall head over heels in love with her. That woman had younger you in a chokehold.

You feel your body tensing and heating up slightly. Fuck, has it always been this warm here? Your eyes sway over to the air conditioner behind you. No, that can't possibly be it, you made sure that the A/C was on the highest level before opening the cafe. 

The blond in front of you raises his eyebrow and looks at you expectantly, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as his eyes shift over your face as if studying your expression. There’s amusement that settles onto his face — smugness would be the best word to describe it.

 Shit, there was no way he found out that you were fawning over him.

“Take a picture. It lasts longer sweetheart.” he shoots you a small wink and you’re not sure whether to feel impressed or horrified at the fact that he was able to read you as easily as an open book where the most important words are already highlighted in a bold colour. 

So you remain silent — speechless, to be precise. There’s a familiar feeling bubbling up in your chest, one that makes you all giddy and nervous. How can someone whom you never met enarmour you so much? It’s weird, but it’s weirder that it feels all too familiar. Suspicion arises within you.

“Hmm?” Aventurine — or whatever his name may be, tilts his head to the side, a questioning and innocent expression manifesting on his face that it almost makes him look like a young boy who still has to grasp the concepts of the many fundamentals of the world.

“Spacing out already? Am I that handsome?” Yeah, keyword: almost.

It takes a second to compose yourself again before speaking up again. “Yeah.” Your eyes form into crescent moons as you give him a small faux smile (how March likes to call it: your customer service smile) before your face contorts into an expression of unpleasantness “No, in your dreams Mister. Also please hurry up, you’re holding up the line.” You point behind him and he angles his head backwards to see..no one?

“There’s no one there.” This time it’s him who looks unimpressed, a deadpan expression gracing over his features and you do have to admit that he looks kind of cute with that expression. Oh god, what were you thinking? “You know you’ll have to do better than try to tri-”

Before he can even finish his sentence you quickly cut him off. “With cash or with card?” Your customer service smile from before finds its way onto your face once more. “Miss, you’re so cruel! You didn’t even let me fini-” “I repeat. With cash or with card?” 

Your patience was running thin. Lucky for him he’s somewhat respectful and cute while bothering you and not going on your nerves. If he were some weirdo, you would’ve scurried away already. People like him (unfortunately) remind you that pretty privilege does exist. 

His gloved hand dives into the depths of the pockets of his slacks before pulling out a leather wallet and revealing a black card. Oh great, a rich guy. “With card.” he sighs dramatically. Do all rich people behave like this? “Sir, this is a café not an acting audition for some teenage romance drama.” You’re not sure what to think of this guy, on one hand, his attempts are cute on the other it’s kind of weird that he’s flirting with a cashier whom he met 5 minutes ago. “Just.” You hesitate before speaking up again. “Just type your PIN in here and you’re done.” He nods and continues to do so which the small sound the machine makes confirms. 

At that, you give him a small nod as a gesture of thankfulness, before attempting to kick him out again. “Great, thank you. Now please go and I wish you a good day.” 

“But how am I supposed to have a good day without yo-”

“You’ll live.” you wave him goodbye and that leaves him with no other choice but to step back and leave. 

Maybe you’re hallucinating and maybe you’re just imagining it but before he leaves he gives you a small smile. The soft and charming glow that emanates from his eyes resonates well with the dusking sun as if they were reflecting the last golden rays of sunshine before they were to be engulfed by the warm hues of the sky and later on painted black like the night. An inexplicable feeling rises in your chest as he bids you goodbye, wishing you a nice day.

“Oh he so has a massive crush on you.” you shudder upon hearing March’s voice. Her words ring in your ears like Christmas bells chiming during the holiday season. Loud and obnoxious. You try to drain the thoughts away but how can you when the source who started it all is right behind you? Continuously gushing about how that handsome stranger must have an enormous crush on you.

“The group chat has to know about this!” March enthusiastically squeals and quickly fishes her phone out of her pockets. Before you’re even able to realize what is bound to happen let alone prevent her from aggressively typing on her phone, she’s already sent the first message. 

At that you can only bury your face into the palms of your hand, face sinking into your hands in embarrassment. As much as you love March, it sometimes feels like she’s the oldest of the group and not Mr. Yang. Not in terms of matureness and wiseness, no more like in the sense of the kind of mom who has to share each and every one of her baby’s accomplishments online, but not as bad though, of course. Still.

“I hate you,” you complain, words muffled by the palms of your hands.

“I love you too.” she quips cheerfully, a smirk on her lips.

Safe to say March was in charge of cleaning and tidying up the café for the whole shift.

“Aww the handsome guy from yesterday isn’t here today.” March coos into your ear, a frown is displayed on her lips. She frowns, but you can see the hints of playfulness that linger in her expression. “Put on such a nice show yesterday only to chicken out. Booo, lameeee.” March rolls her eyes in amusement, giggling while doing so. 

Although you didn’t want to agree with what March had to say, she’s somewhat right. You full-heartedly believed that he’d visit again today after the move he pulled off yesterday or perhaps you wanted him to visit him again. 

You quickly shook your head at that thought, brushing the idea of someone paying you a visit at work off to humor you a bit. There was absolutely no way you wanted to see him again. 

“It’s early in the morning and you’re trying to shake the dandruff out of your hair already?” “Not funny Mar-” There was no fucking way.

If this wasn’t a deja vu, you don’t know either. It’s almost as if the interaction of yesterday was replaying right in front of your eyes and once again catching you off guard.

“You know it’s not polite to blatantly stare at people right?” he spoke with a chuckle as he observed your irritated face. “Frowning like that will make you gain wrinkles.” The twitching on your right eye doesn’t go unnoticed by him and he can only chuckle at that, seemingly amused by your morning misery. 

“What are you doing here.” you can only mutter a single question out, dumbfounded by him appearing in front of you once again. “Hm, am I not allowed to come by? I mean, everything’s quite affordable in here and this place isn’t far away from my workplace either sooo.” 

Well, you can’t judge him for that. “Then, what do you want?” with a sigh you pluck one of the sticky notes of the block of colorful sticky notes, ready to write his order and name down. “Someone’s in a bad mood.” he chirps. A blank stare is the only thing you provide him as an answer and at that, he can only chuckle, it’s obvious that he’s enjoying this. “An Iced Americano would be nice. Thanks.” 

“Mhmm, noted.” you quickly scribbled his order down onto the quadratic paper before shouting March’s name over your shoulder. “Can you come here to keep our dear customer company? I’ll prepare his drink in the meantime.” you shoot Aventurine a heavy side-eye before darting your gaze back to March. The girl only giggles in response before happily skipping over to the counter. 

“Aww, do you want to extra prepare my drink?” upon hearing his remark you turn around. Meeting a pair of pink eyes which were covered behind long blond lashes, scanning your figure from a close distance. 

Nervosity crawls at your skin as you feel yourself getting watched by him. It’s weird — screw that, he’s weird. 

“Close!” a giggle accompanies your words. “Actually, I just really wanna get away from you. Have fun with him March.” scoffing, you turn around again.

It didn’t take you long to prepare his order, filling a cup with ice cubes and pouring some shots of espresso over them was a piece of cake. “Here” You hand him his drink and he nods in contentment before handing you a few coins, a cheeky grin appears on his face and you can see the amusement glimmering in his pink eyes. “See you tomorrow” he chuckles and upon that March nudges your side, which in response you can only give her an exasperated groan. 

“Yep. Head over heels in love.” she quips as soon as Aventurine is out of sight, and you have to fight the urge to slam your forehead against the counter.

Your third encounter with Aventurine occurred on a fairly rainy day. With sluggish movements and wet clothes, soaked from head to toe he slumped over to the counter and grinning as soon as he saw you. 

“Hey.” it takes you a moment to process the situation and reluctantly you reply. “Hey.” Your eyes scan over his figure, his white dress shirt is completely translucent now and you can’t help but let your eyes drift to the tattoo on his neck, down to his collarbone which is visibly poking out, and his slim waist, ribs only covered by a thin layer of pale skin.   

Aventurine seems to catch on pretty quickly and wraps himself into his blazer, seemingly uncomfortable by the way you’re looking at him.

You quickly gather your words, and voice an apology. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shamelessly stare, that was rude again, I’m so sor-” “It’s fine.” Aventurine interrupts, cutting your apology curt while huffing out a tired sigh. The exasperation that resides in his voice implies that he obviously doesn’t want to dwell on this topic any further.  

A meek nod is the only response you’re able to give. “Can I just get the same thing I’ve had last time? Thanks.” he pulls out his card, ready to pay for his order. 

“Really? An Iced Americano during this weather?” you let out a small chuckle with which you’re trying to lighten up the tense atmosphere that built up between the two of you. 

At the sound of your light laughter, Aventurine’s eyes flicker over your face. “You remember my order?” he asks dumbfounded.

“Well yeah, no one besides teenage girls order an Iced Americano.” you joke, the usual sarcasm back in your voice. It quenches his former uneasiness, your light-hearted words soothing him like a cool steam dripping into his parched heart.

The corners of his lips twitch and he can’t help but smile. “Oh, shut up.” His signature smirk graces his lips and upon catching sight of it you can’t help but also let out a fond smile. 

“Will.. a freshly black brewed coffee do?” you’re careful when asking him. Nervousness crawls at your skin in anticipation. 

“Black coffee?” he hums. “Yeah, that should work. Thanks.” the reassuring smile he gives you makes your tense shoulder drop in relief, easing the worry that previously swam in your stomach.

You disappear into the kitchen, searching for the container that stores the coffee beans to prepare his drink, in the meantime, Aventurine quickly types into his phone before erasing the words as fast as he wrote them.

The fresh scent of coffee beans engulfs your nose and you can’t help but smile. Freshly brewed coffee always reminds you of home; someone in whose arms you can bury yourself in, nudging your nose into their chest as they cage you with their arms, softly embracing you. The rattling of a coffee machine in the background rings in your ears, but the only thing you can focus on is a voice that softly caresses the shell of your ear. 

Domesticity washes over you — it’s all too familiar. 

Aventurine’s drink is prepared in no time and you set it on the counter which makes him look up from his phone, giving you a weak smile before wrapping his hand around the drink. It’s still hot to touch, the warmth spreading over his hand in an instant like wildfire, it’s nice — the feeling of warmth enveloping his cold hand is nice. 

“Well, I’ll get going now.” his announcement catches you off guard, and impulsively you reach out to tug on his sleeve to prevent him from leaving. The action leaves both you and Aventurine surprised. Curious, the blond raises an eyebrow and grins (oh how much you want to wipe that stupid grin off his face), expectantly awaiting your next move.

“Sorry.” you cough apologetically before quickly letting go of his semi-dried sleeve. “But I don’t think it’s a good idea to go out again when it’s still raining. If I were you I’d just wait until the rain stops.” Upon hearing your sincere suggestion, Aventurine’s grin falters and instead slowly molds into a fond smile that makes you inexplicably warm.  

“Aww, don’t tell me you're worried that I might catch a cold?” You counter his playful remark with one of your own. “Well, yeah. Who else is supposed to give me a generous tip?” At that Aventurine can only laugh and the smile you’ve been trying to hold back escapes. 

“Touché.”

From there on visits from Aventurine became frequent, always coming during your shift or during your break to chatter with you about mindless topics. You got used to his visits, and even when you gave off the impression of showing no interest in his ramblings, you always lent him an ear, carefully listening to what he had to say about his pets or his grumpy friend. 

(He told you that the both of you resemble each other in some way, aloof on the outside but caring on the inside. In response, you shot him a big side eye, cause what does he mean by aloof?)

The small conversations exchanged between the two of you, ranged between topics of the latest spots that have just opened, to operas and musicals and eventually work. 

His work to be specific.

Curiosity got the better of you and you couldn’t help but ask: “Aventurine.” upon hearing his name sliding off your tongue, he hums in acknowledgment. “What is it?” you scan his attire, the material of his black blazer is slightly crumpled and the turquoise button-up he’s wearing underneath seems to be the same one as the one when you first met him.

“What the hell do you even work as? I mean what kind of job requires you to wear a new suit every day?” befuddlement manifests on your face. “Ah, well.” Aventurine hesitates for a moment, mouth slightly agape before closing it once again as if searching for the right words to say. “I’ve told you that I work here right down the street right? I’m a teaching assistant at St. Freya University for my friend.” he gives you a small and coy smile. 

“Oh, that prestigious university for rich kids?” at that Aventurine slightly raises his eyebrows as if surprised by your remark before quietly laughing. “Mhm, I suppose you could say so.” “I should’ve known that you taught there, I bet you also went there for university.” It’s only a joking remark you made upon impulse but the amusement on Aventurine’s face slightly dissipates, replaced with a sheepish expression.  

“I didn’t go to university.”

“What?”

“What?”

“What do you mean you didn’t go to university? I mean as teaching a-” “I-i started working from a very early age on and not as a teaching assistant it’s only a job for me to help my friend with.” he quickly corrects himself. “Oh.” “Yeah.” he hums, looking away. 

The silence is unbearable. It’s weird and unusual for you to not hear Aventurine chatter into your ear. “So uhm.. what do you teach or help with?” the embarrassment quickly rises to your cheeks and you turn your head downwards to avoid any eye contact. God, why’s initiating a conversation so hard and always fucking awkward.

“Interested in joining? Want me to sign you up?” you’re relieved upon hearing Aventurine immediately responding, lifting your head only to be met with soft pink eyes that are already earnestly admiring you. 

Your deadpan expression tells him more than enough and he chuckles more to himself than to you. “Well, my friend, he has high expectations for his students. To some people, he might appear strict, but really, it’s for their own well-being — not his. He cares about his students a lot. Sharing his knowledge about certain topics and seeing the potential in all of them, for them to pick the information up and be able to use it. So the things he does in his classes differ, from practical to theoretical classes and I’m just there to assist with my knowledge.” the small smile that quirks at his lips doesn’t go unnoticed by you.

“Okay, okay, well enough about me, what about you? Any plans for the weekend?” Aventurine smoothly changes the topic. 

Upon being asked what your plans are your eyes immediately light up with excitement. “I’ve been meaning to visit the fair for a while now. Trying out the new rides and stuff you know?” Aventurine momentarily pauses. “Ah, I’ve actually never been to a fair.” his admission comes over as surprising to you. 

“Wait what? You’ve never been to a fair? You’re lying!” 

“I’m not! Or maybe I am.” he laughs. “Well, I might have gone to some but I can’t recall anything like that. Perhaps I was too short, too young, or too much of a pussy to try out one of the rides.” 

Before you can even think of how to respond to that, you blurt out a: “Go with me then!” You’re not even sure how you had the courage to ask that, especially to someone whom you’ve only met a month or hell a few weeks ago, you’re even less sure where that question even came from.

From what you can read off Aventurine’s face, he seems to be as equally surprised as you, mouth slightly agape and lips forming a smile as he stares at you with expectant eyes. 

“Really?” Disbelief settles onto his face.

“Thinking about it now, nope.” The light in Aventurine’s eyes immediately dies down, suddenly looking like a kicked puppy who didn’t get any belly rubs. It somehow makes you feel bad — somehow you sympathize with him. “..Fine.” you mumble. You can’t believe yourself. “Though there’s one condition: You’ll have to pay for everything.”

“Sure, no problem.” Aventurine agrees without any hesitation and that makes you skittish. “I was joking!” He gives you a boyish grin “Well, I know but it’s not like it’s a big deal either. Also, can this be considered a date?” he props his elbow up and places his cheek onto his balled fist, smirking while doing so.

“Aventurine,” you say in a stern voice. “Don’t make me change my mind.”

Your irritated eyes meet his fond ones. “I’m glad.” he expresses and you’re caught off guard by his sincere tone. There’s no teasing or playfulness behind it, just pure gratefulness. 

“Is it alright if I have your number? It’s easier to reach you then.” the smirk plastered on his face is enough to tell you what the actual intention behind his words is. 

“Admit it. You just want my number, don’t you?” you deadpan him.

“Hmm, who knows?” the grin on his face only grew wider, amused by the fact that you caught on so quickly.

Swiftly you fish out your phone from your pockets, unlocking it before showing him your phone number, and before you can even ask how he’s saved your number; which contact name he typed in for you, he pulls his phone away. Smiling in triumph upon seeing your irritated face.

He gets up from the chair he’s been sitting on for the past few minutes. “Well, your break is about to end soon, so I’ll take my leave.” your eyes follow him as he checks if he’s got everything. “See you tomorrow then:” he says in a playful tone before leaving. 

Yeah, you’re going to meet your demise, you just know it.

END NOTE: this is just idk man we're gonna progress more in the future chaps okay 😔

© VYNICITY 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms or feeding them to ai is not permitted.