#wrote it in like three minutes bc I haven't posted in so long I feel bad :'''))

[marc-spectorr]

come alive

pairing: poe dameron x reader

kiss prompt: #22 …in a rush of adrenaline

warnings: 2.0k wc. mentions of violence, shooting, weapons. curse words.

notes: thank you to the lovely anon for submitting this prompt! i decided to make this its own post bc i wrote quite a lot. also i haven't watched star wars/written for poe in a hot minute so pls be nice to me lol. hope you like it!

—

“What’s the escape plan?”

At the question, Poe shoots you an odd look that is quite concerning. “Escape plan?”

“Yeah, the escape pla—oh my god,” you say in a hushed whisper, blinking at him. “You don’t have one.”

“I don’t have one yet. Don’t worry, I’ll come up with something quick and then—”

“—and then we get captured, locked up behind bars to rot or until they decide to—”

Your ramblings are cut short when Poe puts a hand over your mouth, gently shushing you. Three stormtroopers approach the stack of oversized crates, shrouded in darkness due to the absence of sun at this late hour.

You freeze and hold your breath, waiting for them to pass. Fortunately, they march right by without problem, oblivious to the fact that you two are hiding behind them.

As happy and relieved as you were when Poe first showed up to free you, you’re now back to thinking that you will die at the hands of the First Order. It’ll only be a matter of time until someone realizes their imprisoned Resistance spy has escaped. You’ll never get out of here, especially without a plan. You’re doomed.

You swallow thickly and try to distract yourself from the dread and panic clawing inside of you. You’re on the verge of hyperventilating. Glancing around wildly, you need to focus on something else. Anything.

Eventually, you have no choice but to settle on having your attention on the pilot’s stupidly handsome face. You keep your eyes on him, inhaling and exhaling deeply to gather your composure. All the while, you wonder— has he always been this good-looking up close? You have never realized how pretty of a shade his dark eyes are or how much they sparkle in the low light. You’ve never seen such thick and curly hair like his, and you have the biggest urge to card your fingers through it.

“Sweetheart, hey—relax,” Poe murmurs when you grow quiet on him, his watchful gaze flickering every now and then to check your surroundings. “Breathe. We got this.”

Poe has long dropped his hand from your mouth, but it remains on your face, cupping your cheek as he assesses you for any injuries. You feel your pulse pick up a beat. You’re sure it’s mainly from the threat of danger you’ve found yourself in. Certainly not because of Poe, your good friend, and crush ever since the day you joined the Resistance.

No, it definitely cannot be that.

“Okay,” you sigh out, nodding. You take a quick glance at the perimeter yourself this time, mostly to hide away from his gaze. “Now what? We can’t stay and hide here forever.”

“You’re right,” Poe agrees. He steps closer to you, his chest brushing against your back as he scans the area with you. “My ship’s past the tree line. Best course of action is to sneak out without alerting anyone. But if things don’t go our way, we use these.”

Slipped into your hand is a blaster. You take a deep breath and tighten your fingers around the grip. You hope it doesn’t come down to a shootout between you, Poe, and the dozens of armed guards patrolling the place. Violence isn’t really your strong suit. That’s why you preferred missions that involved laying low and gathering intel. Too bad your cover got blown on this assignment.

(And yes, you are still sore about that).

“I’m a shit shot, just a heads up,” you warn Poe. You turn around and bump into him, forgetting that there’s barely any space between you. He doesn’t make an effort to step away, and surprisingly, you don’t either.

Poe’s lips curl into a smug grin. He holds up his own weapon in his hand. “And I’m very much not. See, we’re a perfect match. On a scale of 1 to 10, how’d you rate my spur-of-the-moment escape plan?”

You bite back a chuckle and shake your head. Leave it to Poe to distract you from your worries, even if it only lasts a minute. In all seriousness, you have faith in him. He can be overly cocky sometimes, but he’s smart and skillful. You’ve seen and heard what he’s capable of. There’s a reason why you and plenty of others admire the hell out of him.

“I’d give it a 7.5, mainly ’cause I trust in your confidence too much. Plus, it’s not like we have other options.”

“That’s the spirit,” Poe beams. “Sorry if I worried you about not really thinking this through earlier. Once I found out you were being held out here, I kinda just... went for it, y’know? I didn’t have time to waste. I couldn’t let anything happen to you.”

You smile at him, ignoring how your cheeks are warming up against the crisp nighttime air. You’re touched by Poe’s statement. Grateful that you’ve crossed paths with someone like him. Who else would be this reckless and determined to dive into an impromptu rescue—or insane enough to risk their life to save yours?

The thought has your heart feeling tender, but you can’t get caught up in it at this moment. You and Poe need to make it out alive first. Fuck, now the nerves are starting to creep back in.

“Thank you. If we come back to the base both in one piece, dinner’s on me.”

“You mean when we get back,” he corrects. He holds his hand out for yours. “Deal. It’s a date. Alright, you ready?”

Poe’s question almost doesn’t register in your head after he refers to your dinner offer as a date. He doesn’t seem to be joking around. He sounds serious, and you don’t question it. You find yourself more than okay with calling it that.

Clearing your throat, you give Poe a slight nod, ready as you’ll ever be. Both of you have to get out of here alive. Your date depends on it.

Staying undetected as you move through the shadows was easy in the beginning. Few are out on patrol this evening, and when you do encounter someone, Poe manages to evade them. Surely this isn’t his first go-around at something like this.

You do your best not to allow your anxiety of getting caught to cause you to lose focus. The warmth of Poe’s hand in yours helps soothe you, an assurance that if anything goes wrong, you’re not alone.

When you spot your way out, relief floods over you. You tell yourself you’ll be home soon. That you’ll be back in your bed in no time, tucked under the covers, safe and sound. No longer would you be fearing for your life in the way you are right now.

You’re nearly there— the clearing is just within sight. Less than a hundred yards away more and…

Sirens suddenly blare. So loud that they ring in your ears and leave you disoriented for several seconds. The quiet of the night quickly descends into chaos as guards pour out from every which way. The radioed orders your ears pick up are clear and bone-chilling: they are searching for you, and if found, they want you gone permanently. 

“There you are, scum,” a trooper snarls from behind, weapon pointed at you. They’re about to pull down on the trigger, but Poe reacts much quicker. The blaster in his hand fires, and the man instantly drops to the ground.

You barely have time to process what happened when Poe grasps your hand tightly, holding onto it uncomfortably tight, but his touch is grounding. The two of you share a knowing look as the sound of distant voices and heavy footsteps grow closer.

“We gotta keep moving. Shoot anyone who’s chasing after us, got it?” He says, his voice a blur over the erratic pounding of your heart.

Poe doesn’t wait for your acknowledgment. He makes a mad dash towards the gate leading out of the compound. He wasn’t lying when he said he was not a shit shot, taking down a few men with such ease— they were no match for him.

Luck seems to be on your side tonight. The moment Poe tugs you past the gate, you run across the field and into the woodlands as fast as possible, the fastest you’ve ever moved. Your muscles are sore, and your head is dizzy. It feels like you can’t get enough air in your lungs.

Still, you run. You run and run, even if you’re starting to think that your legs will give out at any moment. You have to get as far away as you can from the place that has kept you captive. It’s your best bet if you want to survive.

Finally, Poe’s ship comes into view. He glances behind you, and you mirror his action, seeing that the guards have lost track of you in the dark. The relieved smile on your face remains for only a split-second, however. As soon as you turn your head back, you see the stormtrooper emerge from the thick bushes, aiming to shoot at an unsuspecting Poe.

It’s like everything is in slow motion. From you realizing that Poe is in imminent danger to the way you forcefully push him out of the line of fire and draw your blaster.

Adrenaline buzzes through your veins. Your chest rapidly rises and falls. You steady your hand even as it fights to tremble. Without thinking twice, you fire your weapon. The first shot narrowly misses the enemy, but the following two blasts hit them fatally, and they slump to the ground, unmoving.

Luck truly is on your side tonight.

You gasp a breath in surprise when a pair of solid arms suddenly wrap around you, your nerve endings still on high alert after all that has transpired. 

Poe’s gentle voice saying your name cuts through your foggy mind, and you meet his gaze. Your heartbeat continues to drum sharply against your ribcage as you stare at him for several moments, tracing the deep, worried lines etched on his face.

You don’t know what comes over you after. You’re unaware of what you’re doing until you’re right in the middle of it.

One second, you’re holding onto Poe—feeling some of the tension in your body seep out upon seeing that he’s okay, he’s unharmed— and the next, your lips are on his, soft and warm. Exactly the way you had imagined they would feel.

Poe doesn’t kiss you back right away; it is the only thing that snaps you out of this haze. Have you misread him all this time? He’s a major flirt, but you thought he was genuine with you. A knot of confusion and embarrassment forms in your stomach. How could you be so wrong? How could you have fucked things up?

You immediately pull away, taking a few stumbling steps back. Poe looks at you wide-eyed, mouth slightly open, but he doesn’t say a word. You glance down at your feet, not wanting to see his expression as you fumble out an apology.

“I-I’m sorry, Poe. I don’t know… I was just—”

You are interrupted when Poe lets out a breathless chuckle. He closes the short distance you had put between the two of you, his hands cupping your face, fingers stroking your cheeks ever so gently.

“Don’t be sorry,” he whispers. “I wasn’t expecting you to do that. It did feel very nice, though.”

Poe’s breath fanning warm over your skin causes yours to hitch. Before you can respond, he slowly leans in and recaptures your lips in a sweet kiss. Your heart stutters and skips for a whole new reason now. Something more electrifying replaces the fight or flight sensation surging within you, making you light-headed in the best possible way.

The kiss abruptly ends at the sound of dried leaves rustling and branches snapping from different directions. You notice faraway lights becoming brighter, no doubt more stormtroopers closing in on you and Poe.

“I’d like to keep kissing you, but we gotta go,” he laughs, nodding towards the ship. “The sooner we get back, the sooner we can go on our date.”

You grin in agreement and place your hand into Poe’s hand. Being with him makes you feel alive, like you can handle almost anything the universe throws at you. You could get used to this.

“Take me home, flyboy.”

[bittercideristaken]

I passed out fourteen times but here's my pointy objects fanart I've been working on for literally months and only now got a break from school and work to finish

(this is fanart from an ao3 fic called of gods, monsters, and pointy objects made for @gontagokuhara !!! I hope you're feeling better from covid!! I promise I won't feel bad about how long this took if YOU don't feel bad about the time this next chapter is taking, MASTERPIECES TAKE TIME!!!)

I had (have) more art planned but I didn't want to wait forever to post this, it's the reason as to why I haven't commented yet!! I was trying to finish this first and then I didn't have time LMFAOO I hope you like it!

Baby (giant) Gonta being raised (literally) by Nagito, distracted by a cool beetle!

2. Angie and her mom(s) off their island's shore....

3. Kaede in Chapter 10, after the RV explosion, in the bathroom of Mikan's cottage....

4. Ibuki and her daughter, Kanami, waking up in a panic after the attack

(Non)surprisingly, I think it'd be fun to also share some of my pointy objects headcanons in this same post! I wrote down a LOT of them in my notes app overtime, and they're mostly camp-based. But since this is long I'll just put it under the cut ;)

• Miu's hair used to be the exact shade of blonde as kaede, but she dyed it pink with manic panic and it's NEVER come out

• Nagito and Ibuki were already friends, but only started becoming close after the Tsumugi incident bc of their shared grief and self-doubts... she basically stayed at camp the whole time while the triplets healed up until Junko banned parents from seeing their kids

• Ryoma was a daily smoker before coming to camp, but Nagito encouraged him to switch to nicotine patches

• The counselors didn't realize Gonta needed glasses for a HOT minute until one day while Hajime was trying to set up a lesson plan for his schooling and couldn't figure out why Gonta's reading comprehension went way down when they used a chalkboard... and they're like "...can you NOT see it?😟" like "oh. well he needs glasses, thats it" *facepalm*

• Tenko goes to a lot of girl group concerts with Himiko and Peko! So when she comes to camp, Kiibo begs her to show them the videos 😭

• Sometimes someone gets sick and can't do dinner duty, and sometimes Nagito says "I'll cook" and everyone rejoices because they KNOW it's a pizza night 😭 they literally bet on how long he'll be struggling in the kitchen until they hear the car leaving camp

• Miu is a SERIAL clothing theif, even though she constantly hates on everyone's style/says their clothes are too big/small for her anyway. Kaede is a constant victim of this 😭 she'll tear up her closet looking for a specific top in the morning and then come out to breakfast to see Miu wearing it (it has caused physical fights)

• Angie and Tenko always show up with the cutest hair with all kinds of accessories. They're the best at braiding and most of the camp has had their hair braided at least three times in one summer.

• Kaede and Kirumi are pretty damn good at sewing! The long haulers bring Kaede things that need mending when Kirumi isn't there lol, and Kaede makes all her own Halloween costumes! (And trades her chore duties to help others with their own costumes)

• Rantaro is GENUINELY a tiktok star 💀 he did musical.lys to cringey music unironically when he was like 12 but ppl really started following him for his aesthetic travel videos, and "dying my hair/piercing myself at 3am bc I'm bored" videos (also some unfortunate thirst traps and dance videos💀) Shuichi shows up in the background sometimes and Rantaro teases him because ppl keep commenting "WHO THAT IN THE BAAAAACCKKKK" but yeah he doesn't take it crazy seriously or post very often

• Himiko has known Hajime/Nagito the longest of all the campers (they literally changed her diapers for Chiaki) but she used to hide behind her mom's legs as a toddler bc she was shy 🥺

• Miu works better with music on, it's like her only real psychological tie to her Godly parent (other than the attitude)💀 she dances around her room while working on projects and turns the music up REALLY loud in her cabin and makes everyone complain until she's gifted a pair of really good headphones for Christmas

• Angie also LOVES to surf, Sakura wasn't the best surfer before but she literally learned just so she could surf with her daughter 🥺 it makes her feel closer to Aoi

• Sometimes when the counselors are SUPER overwhelmed they literally say that they've been called to a meeting and just take the weekend off somewhere 💀💀💀 usually one stays behind but it's something they've NEVER admitted to even though the triplets have definitely figured it out after Hajime came back from a """""meeting"""""" with a trinket for his office 💀

• (KINDA NSFW) But Ibuki has had the most relationships with other gods out of everyone else followed by Makothoe 😭 This doesn't really say much it's just a record bc the gods have relationships with humans anyway 💀 if you account for humans it's probably Leon or Teru LMAOOOO (honorable mention to the imposter because LMFAOOOO but I headcanon he has like real relationships with humans and sticks with them for a while not necessarily uhhh yk)

• Most of the gods are used to acclimating themselves to their time, but like, sometimes they still don't catch up with EVERYTHING and they act like parents who struggle to get Siri to work or squint when they have to use a phone (The counselors got sick of a 12 y/o Kokichi asking if they had games on their phone and kokichi got sick of them saying "a telephone was made for calling people" so he got a phone slightly before the other campers 😭) (Byakuya and Makoto got a smartfridge that they STILL struggle to work 💀) (Taka's face turns red after the first 10 minutes he takes to connect a bluetooth device to his car)

• Vocal stims spread across camp like wildfire until Hajime nearly tears his hair out begging them to stop (vocal stims ALSO linger in MEETINGS LMFAOO I think the indubitably bit in sdr2 was so real and funny 😭)

• Baby rantaro was DRIPPED TF OUT💀 Makoto and Byakuya had him in designer clothes as a toddler, to the point where reporters/business partners were suggesting he go into junior modeling because he was such an adorable kid! Makoto likes to tease/brag to Rantaro about it lol. He still has the toddler clothes stored away and a bunch of photos of baby rantaro in formal wear😭

• Kaito has a scar on his stomach from when he tried to fight off the monsters that killed his grandparents

• Kaede is "talking smart", and so is her twin, Miu, but it SHOWS when she's talking trash about someone 😭 she has an Azealia Banks level of world-ending, life-changing reads at the tip of her tongue

OKAY THATS ALL FOR NOW BYEEEEEEE

[disorganizedkitten]

Road To Ruin Anon again. You said there were themes to your Potter Twins' names - what themes?

Hi, yes! Sorry this took me forever to get to, but here we go!

The Post Anon Is Referring To // The First Slideshow Post

Okay so, in chronological order - I'm not putting the slides on again bc they make everything so long;

CHARLIE! Charlie/Charles/Charlus is... not that deep. We can give it all the in-story explanations we want, but the fact of the matter is that I was writing a Farland Files fanfic love letter and I just reused the name. I assume that Purplemango picked it either because they liked it, there's canonically a Charlus Potter he can be named after, and/or as Charles it follows the convention of Potter-Names-Mirror-English-Royalty, but I haven't ever worked up the courage to ask them. Probably never will.

SORREL! Okay so I'm mostly sure that Sorrel showed up in a googled list of Indian names, and it won my personal aesthetic contest - I know his middle name did, I don't remember WHAT his middle name WAS, but it means blue; Sorrel means red, and the Potter could refer to brown and I personally found that clever.

Having said all of this, when I just googled the name to double check, I found out that Sorrel is ALSO term for a plant, spinach dock is also known as common or garden Sorrel. I'm very sure that part isn't on purpose, but the Cobra Lily (Charlie) and Hyacinth/Hydrangea (Sorrel) aus are largely built on me hoarding as many plant names as I feel comfortable with and making them plot points so- *fingerguns* -it works out!

Moving on, I already mentioned the story behind CONNOR! The au was getting to the point I needed names to visualize, I couldn't choose, so I handed my phone and the googled list (no clue what I googled, that was three years and like 9 this-au-has-developed-into-a-whole-new-au-s ago) to my little sister. She said Connor. I said okay.

Honestly, either Sorrel or Connor is my favorite twin. They've just got shiny personalities. It's a close competition tho

TRISTAN! yeah yeah, his spelling is still being decided, chill, it doesn't matter until I start posting the au. I wish I could say something clever but I haven't even checked what Tristain means, unlike the others. I think. Actually, have I ever looked up what Connor means?

moment of silence while I do that brb

Back! Connor means Lover Of Hounds and I- wheezes I cannot. This is Hilarious. Unreasonably so. Little Ruler and his baby brother, Lover Of Hounds.

This tangent added like five minutes to this post and I have NO REGRETS

It also looks like a Gaelic name, which means there's a chance the list I gave to my sis was those, bc I do and will advocate for Irish Lily Potter at any and all given opportunities. If that wasn't what I was thinking it SURE IS NOW

Anyway, back to Tristan; I looked him up after I finished my Connor tangent, and I have once again been blessed in writing because the name could not be more perfect for the au if I tried.

"In Arthurian legend, Tristan (sometimes called Tristram) was a Knight of the Round Table and the tragic hero of the medieval tale "Tristan and Isolde". The tale has been retold in many poems and operas. This ancient name may derive from a Pictish original, Drostan, but the form was probably influenced by the French term "triste", meaning "sad". The name is popular in Spain." (source linked)

Gosh I WISH that was why I picked the name, the actual story is so much less cool; I wrote the outline leaving a T in place of the name the whole time (bc I kept trying to use Sorrel but NO I wanted it to be a NEW AU) and I know a guy named Tristan so it made sense to just. expand on the T.

WILLIAM: Will's name was given to me by the same person who helped make the Obscurial Au (Will's au) playlist, and I have no clue what their tumblr handle is but their Ao3 is Lonelyroads. I complained about how I couldn't find twin names that weren't either taken or have Negatory Vibes, and Lonely offered up Will, which follows the aforementioned Potter's-Named-After-English-Royalty tend/convention and looks good with Harry and has good nickname opportunities.

So yeah! That's all of them - there's no overarching trend but they each have their stories.

[canarymemories]

the long awaited nui izlo rambling is finally here!! leaving it all below the read more bc. i don't know how to shut up

(i'm copy pasting this w little to no edits from a twt thread so. sorry if the formatting is icky kasdgh)

this fic was brought to u by 1. my own darling nuis and my izumi nui does have a tear by his eye and 2. leo merch collector is such a fun concept to me

the concept of izumi being in italy while leo is away was something that lived in my head for a while ngl and there was a point where this was going to be a meowzart fic, like izumi moping around the apartment and meowzart being her cute little self. i think at one point i did have a sort of companion piece if you want to call it that, like leo would be the one at the apartment w izumi out of the country (also a meowzart fic) and the only part i actually wrote for that is what I lovingly call ace izlo

also. back to my izunui for a minute, I did try to do surgery on him but the eye embroidery is too thick to do w just a normal little sewing needle 😔😔 but he's my darling little guy and he's perfect the way he is, I just have to be careful with him 🥺

anyway! let's start w the title. this song I think is the reason I started writing mushy lines towards the end lmao, it's izlo coded to me, like pls consider (it's also in my bb playlist ✌ idk it's so izumi -> leo to me)

I make it my life's goal that izumi never knows one second of peace lmao (also somewhat unrelated, i do have this wip idea of their dormmates having to deal w them bc i think it's funny and. i miss that idea (is fully capable of still writing it))

i feel like this point comes up in . so many of my wips (I think it's honestly just me feeling like it does but. still) and I just,,, man post checkmate, the way you live in my head

izumi is so. easily swayed when it comes to leo (thank u rhythm tourism for confirming that for me <33) (I like to think that leo is somewhat aware of this fact) but yeah that comes up so much in this fic and I think it's so fun bc. sorry to say but izumi is such a loser

izumi cardboard cutout is such a funny one to me, leo would so have one. anyway, reloaded reference 🎉 also. the izumi calendar being a canon thing might be one of the best things happyele has done, unfortunate I'm p sure they'll be skipping it in engstars 😔

I feel like I'll end up forgetting to mention it, but like recital, the way izumi refers to leo nui changes over the course of the fic (aka after day five, izumi starts referring to leo nui w gendered pronouns fkdksl) they had a bonding moment <33

this is probably my favorite part of the fic ngl like honestly. I don't even think I can make fun of izumi here bc I think something that grossly domestic would fix me too (but it's still so funny to be like. izumi wakes up in a bad mood and his first thought of how to fix it is to imagine a whole scenario w leo that is soft but. maybe he really is onto something)

the day three naruritsu call is bc i started writing nui izlo last august which was a month before nrrt week and they were in my head so bad (they haven't left). and then I was like haha what if I write the date for nrrt week before the fic is finished. and now this year it's like,, haha what if i (hopefully will actually write the date this time but also. as a small aside, the concept of arashi having to be straight up told it's a Real Date and not a friend date is so good in this essay i)

this is supposed to be bc they're not speaking a language izumi personally knows how to speak, so only certain words make sense think of it when you hear someone speaking another language and there's loan words or cognates that you recognize even if u don't know what's being said

I said it in the a/n but this part and all of day five is that even though they're past the events of checkmate and everything that came from it, things aren't magically like. Perfect, yk? like they found their way back to each other and knights didn't fall apart but that doesn't mean that everything that happened then doesn't bother them to some extent. like just look at next door and mr they can't know i care taking the earliest flight to japan w limited knowledge of what's going on + leo leaving in the first place bc of an argument like I can go on for a while (so much of ! was izlo figuring shit out bc of what happened between them so i mean,, it's definitely still prominent in their lives even if it's in the past).

he's funny for being like wait can someone hear me rn, their conversation is happening in japanese lmao

happy brief trans leo mention, this part also makes me so like. giggles kicks feet and idk why exactly. anyway leo is trans, it just never really comes up in my writing so fkxksl (is anyone in knights really cis? the answer is no)

day five aka the radio silence day is so,,, I wanted to have a day like this in here but I felt like I was being a little dramatic abt it but i was like well. izumi knows that leo is probably busy and they're in a better space now, but all things considered, I do think he'd worry. I mean izumi is worrier #1 but fkdks that's not the point. by this point, he has mostly stopped blaming himself for checkmate but u do have to realize that next door did happen and he did make leo leave that time, that one was all him so,, but even outside of that, I don't think izumi is like. Concerned about it every time that leo stops talking to him or is out of the country, but in this situation, he already misses leo and they'd talked for a while the day before then to wake up to hear absolutely nothing is not fun. (i probably have more but idk where i'm going w this rip) I just think there's something there, yk? like idk they're a little (very much) attached to each other

requiem reference (izumi will never live it down sorry). was going to talk abt their relationship and the use of partner rather than boyfriend but. idk.

niki's kitchen is such a funny circle to me bc they really just. have a signed framed picture of izumi there for the meetings so gkdksm obligatory mention (plus I do think izumi is Aware that niki knows what he's doing in the kitchen so he'll actually take his advice)

when I was planning this fic out, this part was going to be a little different; izumi wasn't going to realize he had leo nui until he was in the store and he looks down into the bag and there's a little guy in there but mckslsl

I think this is so cute and I'm specifically pointing it out so you all agree w me. like idk izumi would think leo's dumb alien shirts r so fucking ugly but that's the first thing he's putting on when leo is out of the country for any extended period of time

reference to something in recital I haven't written yet (the concept of a person being your home rather than a place and what it means when you destroy that person and you're left without anyone to return to :) )

this part has been in my head for Months, like nearly since I started it. like,,, man I wish I could draw without having a meltdown bc I hate it bc,,,, the soft leo in my head in this part makes me want to eat glass (also haha izumi sena grossly in love)

I think that's everything,,, (is probably most definitely forgetting about something)

[hideyseek]

6. 10, 11? For ur ao3 wrapped? Mehabs?

(im on mobile if something is weird. No it isnt)

bro ,,,,, im so sorry to report something was weird, i only saw this guy come in today he was not in my inbox before. apology for delay. but hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii yes thank you for the ask!!!!! of course i will answer i love to fucking TALK hehe :3

ao3 wrapped asks

6. Favorite title you used?

mmmm hehe. i'm gonna answer this based purely on title vibes as opposed to like "how well the title fits the fic" bc i wrote a bunch of shorter (to me) fics without a lot of internal thematic happenings that a title could reflect and so i don't really think of anything i published that a title is doing very much work.

i think my favorite title of anything published this year is i wish you the wind just because ah ... what a phrase! no idea what this means but it sounds so damn romantic to me! really has a flavor of like ... bittersweet farewell!

10. What work was the quickest to write?

mmm, haha. well, two answers to this i suppose. on one hand, there was keep me here which unfortunately i wrote in about one day from nothing (and therefore had approximately 12 minutes to revise) because i was determined to post SOMETHING for that day of kaze week 2023. but the first fic that came to mind (and perhaps the most accurate answer, time-wise) was my drabble from week 2 of inception wicked which came together in about three hours total drafting, but there was a span of several days (and truthfully several days that felt like several weeks lol) between me initially having the idea and sitting down to draft. but like, to be fair, it is about 400 words so revising goes exponentially quicker. truly this shocked even me, though i guess really what this means is i already was primed with a bunch of subconscious thoughts about the dynamic in this fic lol. (you can read it here on the gdoc with the other fics from that week! bc i haven't gotten around to posting on ao3 yet lol. content warnings for: semi-explicit sexual content, fantasizing about a married couple, voyeurism)

11. What work took you the longest to write?

hmm ... i don't know if there's a winner for anything i published, tbh. most of the rest of the kaze week fics from january kind of came together in a span of 3-5 days depending on the fic, and most of the other drabbles for both events came together in about the alotted week. so instead i'm going to gleefully misinterpret this question so i can talk about my beloved unpublished nemesis project, narrative!fic :3

i hate that guy! (<- said extremely lovingly) i probably earnestly worked on this fic for ... 4 or 5 months of this year? had a nice breakthrough for some story logic in august / september ish, outlined from that through october, and wrote pretty diligently for most of november. (i did tell my roommate fully two years ago, "hey you need to watch kazetsuyo so i can make you betaread this fic i'm writing at the end of the year, i'll watch star trek with you in exchange". that was literally 2021 lmao. they have not yet seen a draft bc there has not been a draft worth having anybody else look at yet.)

i think the thing that has made the process of drafting narrative!fic so long is really just that, for the last two-ish years, narrative!fic wasn't actually a story to me, so much as it was a project into which i dumped all my post-college facing-the-future feelings and loosely tied up with a string called "i'm sure i can make haiji go through this as well". but then, due to various life events in april of this year, suddenly i came back to the draft and it was like: oh. ohhh, okay. i can see how this can be a story, actually. this is about haiji, as a character, as opposed to haiji, as a semi-direct proxy for myself. and then over the next few months i cut out a ton of stuff and reworked his main arc and now it's like ... a story, instead of just a bunch of feelings and events. which, truly, is only my personal marker for what i was looking for from the project. like, i personally want a separation of my own experiences from what is in my fic, i want to be thinking about developments in the fic as narrative choices the story requires rather than as alternatives to how my own life could have gone. (which ultimately may well be the same thing but its the headspace im in, for me).

and i think the other part is just -- i didn't know how to write! i mean, obviously i know how to string words into a sentence lol. but a LOT of i guess the first two years of drafting and then setting all the drafted stuff aside to start again from scratch like four times over, was me learning to like, figure out my own longfic writing process. (big sobbing emoji, lmao. i remember in my youth reading about maggie stiefvater having 200k of unused draft material for one of the trc books and i was like, how??? and now i am like: yeah. unfortunately i get it. not that my tossed-out drafter material is of that specific magnitude. but there is a lot of it, goddamn.) and now that i've got at least an initial / foundational sense of it, the hardest part is only actually sitting down and writing. (i say as if this is not also, extremely challenging for me lol). so uh, i guess i'll say here "maybe this time next year i'll really have a full draft of narrative!fic", and. we'll see how that goes :3

[airplanelanding]

Hey 😊

First of all, sorry for the unfollow-follow, I wanted to click 'ask' and I clicked wrong lmfao

Anyway, for the end of the year fic questions: 4, 12, 15 and 18?

Thank you, have a great day, you're amazing 💖

ok im so sorry but im SOBBING over this -- like i woke up this morning to turn off my alarm and go back to sleep and saw the notif that you followed me and was like "weren't they--okay" and then i just fell back asleep and forgot but gods if this isn't a MOOD.

4. total number of words you wrote this year

ok ahahah so i got 2 numbers for you.

Words written AND POSTED in 2021: 411,864

Words written ALL TOGETHER in 2021 (including unposted wips): 534,608

-- as of this morning.

Check back in on the 31st for totals 😉

12. favorite character to write about this year

This is....going to be so predictable but Arthur. I like exploring his character and writing from his Point of View. Either Arthur or Gwaine--I really love writing Gwaine. (I especially loved writing him in and I know I shouldn't need you [Gwaine/Leon, Modern AU, shameless self rec].)

15. something you learned this year

grammarly doesn't like my sexy intentional grammar mistakes. jk no okay so actually though--

just. love what you love and write what you write. there will always be at least one other person out there who likes what you like. and -- super importantly -- your work is 99% of the time, better than you think it is. you look at your work through critical eyes that have been staring at it for who knows how long. you can pick out every infinitesimal mistake. things your average reader won't even notice because they're not looking for every single minute error. get yourself a cheerleader, an alpha, a beta, or all three and have them look over your work when you're done if you're feeling unsure about it -- they'll have fresh eyes and give you an unbiased opinion.

this is super important especially if you're a perfectionist like me. sometimes you just have to stop, step back, close the laptop and do something else. let your mind clear, drink some water, then come back and send the file over to someone you trust to read it over for you and tell you what they think. outside opinions can be so crucial for those fics that just seem to be pinching every nerve in the wrong way.

18. current number of wips

i very much feared this question 😂 let me count real quick -- i haven't updated my airtable in a while.

i have -- at this moment -- 189 works in progress 😅😅 (not counting my whumptober fics bc i haven't started a lot of them past an outline so i'm not counting them)

oops.

send me a number!