#written a few months ago during a p bad panic attack

[felixxthefrog]

i am anxious i am dyin g inside i am suffocating i am drown ing flailing i am panicked i feel like im pulling every sh ort straw i am sm il ing i am playign hoping they dontsee through the mask iam in need of assistance of help of support of care iam in ne ed ofa gameplan inn eed of some kind of guidance ihave no expe rience and i need someone else to justtake the reigns the wheelth e lead take my control please doit for me i cannot i was not bu ilt f or this worl d iwas not created wit h this soc iety in m ind i was made to tend the earth the soil th e creatues the stores keepp timean d make a homebutnot this not i was mad efor anything but this please go d plaese universe give me something else i cry out from my cross abandoned and forsaken and neglected and misunderstood i just want ot be soft and mindkless i want to be abke to simply exis t adn i loathe the stru ct ures of society and whats expec ted of m e noon e told me tjat life would be one big long test that i was never told to study fo r i didnt own the book but now i must write a papper an essay a thesis a life this is my life and i donot know how to naviagte no map or gps im llost and crying and gasping for air im d y in g