#writing this warms my heart

[royalarchivist]

Ramon: So opinions on [Bagi]?

Fit: She's legit, we can trust her. We can trust her.

Ramon: Would you rather a dad or a mom [for me?]

Fit: Uh- I- no one! No one. Let's- let's get over to Felps' Square, Ramon. [They head to the warp at Spawn, then Fit hesitates] Um, wait- Ramon. [He pauses, briefly looks at the camera, then says in a rush] If I had to choose between the two, it'd be a dad. Alright, let's go. Let's go, let's go.

[mrsoharaa]

Lol imagining waking up in your shared bed, naked and deeply cozy in the over basking warmth and comfort of freshly washed linen and extensive, strong limbs caging you in securely. a small smile perks at the corners of your lips, embracing the welcoming extorting heat resonating from behind you. little huffs of warm breaths fanning across your ear and cheek, soft snoring following behind each breath.

You hum softly, extending and patting out your free hand to the space in front of you, which should have occupied with another lengthy body. your lips quickly swivel into a disappointed frown, heavy eyes slowly peeping open to see nothing but an empty vast space before you.

You grumble to the distraught sight, wasn't your adoring boyfriend Suguru suppose to be there? entrapping you with his radiating, lulling body heat?

You blink rapidly, shuffling away from the adoring embrace of the limbs lacing over you comfortably. a dragged out, gruffed whine following your sudden adjustment, a large palm nestling onto your bare upper right thigh.

Your head stays on the empty space next to you, now gleaming around the open bedroom for the missing body.

"Lookin' for Suguru love?" you can hear the tiredness in Satoru's gruff morning voice, your attention whipping over and down at the pouting snowy haired man laying next to you, his arm pulling around your hips to bring you back to his towering, burly stature. he croons his face deep into your neck, jesting just beneath the juncture of your jaw, inhaling your sweet, intoxicating scent.

"Mm, do you know where he went?" you'd comb through Satoru's messy, mangled bed head, giggling to his silly, childish groans and whines craning out from his throat.

"Said something about getting us breakfast or something from that new cafe you liked so much down the street" Satoru raises his hazy head up and rest it onto your soft shoulder, soaking in the comfort and softness your skin embellished onto his. rubbing his hands up and down the subtlety of your tender flesh, giving it loving, slow chaste kisses.

his lidded cerulean irises glances up at you, carefully studying your breath taking features. noting the rays of the sun peeking through the shades of your windows cascade beautifully against your complexion. hinting out all of the notable and enchanting little details that drew him (and Suguru) to you with much attentive adoration. the soft orange and yellow hues of the awakening sun decorating your flawless beauty. stirring the boundless love and dire affection he had felt for you, only making him fall even harder for you.

a gentle smile seeps into your cheeks, your hand engulfed into the silky thin tresses of frost, slowly trailing down to the flush of his warm cheek. noting that familiar pondering look start to graze his gorgeous features, earning him a low chuckle from you, brushing away the little straying strands from his contorting, pout growing on his face.

"What's wrong Toru'?" your kindred smile stays on your face, listening to his deep grumble bellow against his chest, his brows knitting in a silly manner, matching his ridiculous pout. he kneads in closer into your soften skin.

"...Why do you always look for Suguru in the morning but never me?" he whips with a slouched look, which only insinuates a genuine giggle from you. the look on his face warming your heart and soul, cupping his face with your hand you'd lean down to kiss his forehead, brushing his hair from his face to do so.

"Toru', I only ask because he wasn't in bed..." you tilt your head slightly, watching the puffing grown man roll his eyes.

"And if I wasn't in bed?! would you ask or look for ME?!" he flushes his face onto your side thigh, puffing out heavy breaths and holding onto you tighter. you laugh again, with more joy and amusement gracing your tone.

"Of course you dummy! why wouldn't I?! wait, don't tell me...are you...are you jealous Toru'?" you trace the tip of your finger tip along to the back of his ear, shuffling with the wavy strands of his fluff hair.

"...Of course not! don't be ridiculous, I don't get jealous" he gruffs out, fishing out another chuckle from you.

"That's debatable" the sound of Suguru's silk voice chimes in, the scent of strong coffee, freshly baked bagels and a hint of cinnamon wafts through the air. Invading through your nose, as pure delight throttles all through your body.

"Oh my god, that smells amazing!" you chirp with enlightenment and excitement, the mixed aromas of deliciousness stirring your body fully awake to it's delicious allure.

A humble smile stretches across Suguru's face, walks over towards the bed and carefully hands you the delectable hot coffee and a napkin filled with a warm bagel tucked inside.

"For you, my dear" he leans forward to give you a tender kiss on to your forehead, earning himself a glowing, grateful smile in return from you.

"Ah, Sugu you're the best! what have we done to deserve you?" you kiss his jaw softly, feeling the snug of Satoru's grasp around you tighten, abruptly tugging you closer over to his side of the bed.

"Oh my god, Satoru...really? he brought us breakfast, stop being ridiculous" you roll your eyes, taking a careful sip of your coffee feeling the graze of his plush lips press into the lush of your skin.

Suguru simply tilts his head in concern, but relishes in Satoru's childishness and selfishness with you. scoffing playfully, Suguru pulls out a steamy freshly baked cinnamon bun from around him, holding it out to Satoru as a peace offering.

Satoru's eyes nearly popped out from their sockets, the pure glimmer and joy that swelled in his brighten eyes, filled Suguru's heart with such adoration and amusement.

"...Alright, you have been forgiven Suguru!" Satoru practically licks away the descending drool dripping down the side of his lips, quickly consuming the delectable cinnamon treat within seconds. a satisfied hum purring against his chest, spiking the sheer glee and elation rising in Suguru's chest. a subtle smile homing onto his face.

[m5or]

I love the fannon that Time calls Twi "Pup" as an affectionate, playful nickname and tease. continuing that train of thought.. I think that there is this golden opportunity when Time fully realizes that Twilight is his descendant by blood. The thought would cross his mind that possibly Twi is named after him, HIM. As of now, he is Link Sr, and I think that would be a soft spot for Time's heart. Link Sr has a Link Jr. Seeing as they use their shared name LINK for something that absolutely demands attention. Link Sr would call out "Link Jr" with the same energy as a parent saying your full name. Wind smugly "Oooh you're in trouble" I can believe that is how he told Malon that they have a descendant "Hey guess what, I am Link Sr now. Yes, we have a Jr, it's one of these boys. Guess which one it is".

[beetlethebug]

consider,,,a lucanis who is in love with emmrich, a spite who is in love with rook, a rook in love with emmrich, and emmrich who is in love with all three but wants lucanis, spite, and rook to get together because he feels he is not the type of man any of them deserve...

bonus points for spite being the one to realize just what sort of love quadrilateral is going on and is the one to get them all together.

[hoshinasblade]

For real, the animator had ri have been a Hoshina loyalists. Cause no way he looks that bad. For a Narumi prompt it could be funny that he gets with someone that doesn't know him. Someone who doesn't believe he is the 1st division captain because they only see him as the "wet cat" version of himself. And we have Narumi losing his mind over the fact you don't believe him

(not sure where tumblr took my post again because i cant find it lol) the budget went to hoshina and his tight shirt and there was nothing left to animate narumi properly. anyway, this is such a cute and interesting prompt because because yes, he is losing his mind over you not believing he is the cool first division captain 😆

pairing: gen narumi x f!reader trigger warnings: narumi gen is a trigger warning himself, just super short because im not used to writing anything narumi-related yet. hopefully you don't get mad at me anon for not going exactly per the ask lol my brain is a mush right now, i'll try harder on my next fics

the rich man is here, shouted the kids from the hallway. you can hear their hurrying footsteps - excited little taps that in turn triggered your heartbeat to race as well. you shut your eyes, calming yourself down.

narumi gen is not exactly a rich man; the children in the orphanage just calls him that fondly. apparently he has been dropping by for years, way back when you weren't working as a teacher yet. the older orphans refer to him as nii-san.

narumi would bring toys snd snacks for the kids, and would spend time with them until the early evening before he has to say goodbye. last time, he played video games with everyone; he brought crayons and sketch boobs for his visit today, and within an hour, it was eerily quiet - the little girls and boys holding their pencils, drawing all sorts of things.

the youngest in your herd, a six-year old boy with a missing front tooth ran to you when he saw you by the door, showing you his drawing - a stick-man figure with a knife in its hand, and an animal beside it which you were not sure whether it's an oversized dog or a giraffe.

"it's a kaiju, and narumi nii-san is fighting it", the boy explained, and you patted him in the head. "he's a captain of his team, i'm gonna be like him when i grow up!"

you looked at narumi who is sitting on the floor, but he was already looking at you. you shifted your gaze. "this is so pretty, we should display it in the art wall", you suggested to the boy who grinned at you, clapping.

"you know that it's not a good thing to do, lying to kids, right?" the children had bid narumi goodbye just past 7pm, and although some of them cried, narumi was quick to promise he would be back next weekend. you were surprised, he used to only be here once a month.

"huh?" he responded to you with confusion. you walked him out the orphanage to the parking lot outside. "i don't know what you're talking about."

"look, i know you are trying to be nice. and i thank you for that. what you've done for these kids is more than anyone else have done for them. but telling them you're some guy who kills kaiju is wrong. and telling them they can be like you?" you scoffed.

narumi's mouth was wide open before he realized you have finished your speech. "but i am a guy who kills kaiju", he replied, his hand on his chest as if he is swearing on his life. "really, i'm not lying. i'm the captain of my team -"

"right, and you fight kaiju on the daily," you finished his sentence for him.

"yes, i am a real badass, i promise!" he exclaimed when he sensed you do not believe him in the slightest. it looks comical how he looks close to panicking over the fact that you are not buying whatever he's selling. he frowned at you, and you stared at him, the eye contact lasting for a few seconds.

maybe this guy is a con-artist and he makes his living manipulating people, you said to yourself. this would make a lot of sense considering you think he has the good looks to lure people in. narumi had flirted at you once or twice before - or you wish he was flirting and you were not just reading too much on his actions.

"you know if you meet my friends, they would tell you the truth," he suggested, his voice cheerful.

"why would i meet your friends?" you asked, equally confused.

"so they can tell you that i am the coolest captain of the anti-kaiju defense force. they would also tell you i am a good man and a dependable friend," narumi said, reciting maybe the contents of his curriculum vitae to you. is he in a job interview? you wanted to ask but didn't.

you sighed in defeat. "are your friends as exasperating as you are?" you asked in jest.

"come on, let me impress you", he told you with sincerity that is almost startling. you were not expecting him to sound so genuine, so adamant at proving himself to you.

the kids will have their dinner in a few minutes and you will be needed to help out. you gave narumi one last glance before strolling back to the orphanage. "i'm off on fridays", you said.

narumi's smile could have lighted the entire street.

[devilevlls]

May I request a #2 barbatos and mc? Also take care of yourself!

Heey! Thank you for the request 💚 Hope you like the quick drabble!

Please tell me, this is not why you woke me up 🍨

Barbatos is caught off guard when MC unexpectedly wakes him up in the dead of night with a surprising request.

"Barbatos…" The soft murmur was the first thing the demon heard before being jolted awake by a sudden weight on his chest, followed by a flurry of movement.

Before he could fully process what was happening, MC had thrown themselves on top of him, wrapping their arms around his waist in a tight hug and nuzzling against his neck with an eagerness that was both endearing and perplexing. Barbatos, still groggy from sleep and not fully awake for all this commotion, blinked in confusion.

"You know… I'm craving some sweets…" MC's voice was a mixture of playfulness and longing as they pouted, shaking his body gently to keep him alert. "Please make one of those hellish Parfaits for me…"

Barbatos let out a soft sigh, his voice low, raspy, and still heavy with sleep. "Please tell me, this is not why you woke me up,"he murmured, his brow furrowing slightly as he struggled to fully wake up.

The demon butler looked at MC for a long moment, trying to discern whether their request was a joke, but the excitement in their eyes told him otherwise. With a resigned sigh, he reached for his DDD to check the time, his eyes widening when he saw that it was 3 AM.

"MC, you shouldn't be awake at this late hour. Humans need their rest," Barbatos advised gently, concern lacing his words as he shifted to sit up in bed.

"Pretty please…" MC's voice was soft and pleading as they continued to nuzzle against his neck, their warmth seeping into his skin.

With a reluctant smile, Barbatos relented. "Alright, alright. But you must promise me that you won't be too loud. We wouldn't want to wake the young lord," he said, reaching for a warm robe and slipping it on before extending his hand to help MC up.

Taking his hand eagerly, MC nodded with excitement, their eyes shining with anticipation as they walked hand in hand through the dark corridors of the demon lord's castle, guided by the soft glow of torches lining the walls.

As they made their way to the kitchen, Barbatos couldn't help but feel a warmth bloom in his chest at the sight of MC's infectious enthusiasm. Despite the late hour and the impending task of preparing a devilishly decadent dessert, there was nowhere else he would rather be than by their side, indulging in their sweet cravings and savoring the moments of quiet intimacy that bound them together in the depths of the night.

Drabble prompts you can use in your requests!

[lilislegacy]

annabeth never having a real mother figure when she was young, but sally jackson holding her hand and smiling at her encouragingly while taking her to the doctor to go on birth control for the first time.

and that’s all i have to say.

[aashiqeddiediaz]

something about the diaz home as a symbol of everything sacred to eddie.

something about the diaz home representing eddie's privacy and his life and by extension, christopher's, and that it's a constant, recurring motif of a life that he's built with his son. and it's always interesting to see that his home is always warm (in terms of lighting, color combos, etc etc) and welcoming, which feels so vastly different to the other two homes we've seen for him in eddie begins

something about the way he has to physically open the door to let people in to his life, and how many shots of that we've had of just him opening the damned door since. something about the way he physically lets shannon in in 2x07, or the way he braces himself with chris' encouragement before opening the door to ana in 4x08, or the way he happily lets carla in in 4x13 or the way he softens and smiles when he opens the door to buck in 6x12. it's in the way the only people we've really seen in eddie's home as "not guests" are the ones that he chooses to let in.

in that same vein, we can always tell when there's someone in there that doesn't quite belong. 5x11 is a prime example of this, and not just because of the episode title, "outside looking in." it's evidently obvious that the only reason taylor's in his house is for buck's sake, and maybe that's why we never see eddie actually letting them in. 5x03 is similar to that, in the sense that ana stays for three days with chris at the diaz home, but when eddie comes back, it's a metaphorical and physical mess that he's left standing in the middle of, alone.

and it's very, very interesting that we've never seen his parents in his house. ever. and yes, it could just be the fact that they rarely come to los angeles period, but i just think it's interesting in terms of eddie's journey with them, that the closest we've gotten to them physically being there is that facetime call with his dad, and that phone call with his mom - both of which happen after he goes back to texas in 5x17 where he point-blank tells his dad he's trying to be better for himself, and his dad meets him halfway. it only happens after his relationship with his dad starts improving.

i just constantly think of the diaz home front door, and now that i've thought of it, there's so many other moments that scream at me:

buck unlocking eddie's door in 4x14 and swinging it open to the party, and then later standing in the open doorway almost like he's protecting eddie and the life he's built in this one way because he couldn't protect him in the other way

buck unlocking eddie's door with his own key in 5x13, then bursting through yet another door to get to eddie, just to step in and sit with him in his grief - and how much that scene symbolizes that eddie may have built this life but it was after burying demons that later just crawled up through the cracks of his new home.

buck standing inside the diaz home after eddie gets home from therapy in 5x14 like this is a regular occurrence.

the way eddie's discomfort is visible in that split second scene we get of the police officers storming his home in 2x15

eddie asking shannon to leave through the back door because he may have let her into his life but he's not ready to let her into chris' and thus, he doesn't truly let her into his life - and actually, even the shot of eddie, chris and shannon at the end of that episode takes place outside the diaz home. which is...telling methinks.

eddie opening his door post-date in 4x07 to buck meeting him at it (always meeting him halfway), and just. the domesticity of it, set off by the warm lights, the discussion they have, and the looks on their faces the whole like

eddie opening his door to buck in 6x12, looking apprehensive for a second before he realizes who it is and his smile grows and eyes turn into heart-eyes and buck just pushes past him without waiting for eddie to step aside, only to go and swing his feet up on the coffee table like the diaz home is his, too.

there's so many examples but @sevensoulmates and i put this whole meta together because the symbolism in this tv show is off the charts

[liberty-barnes]

i'm a fire and i'll keep your brittle heart warm by liberty_barnes/@liberty-barnes (GA, 6.6k words)

“And her eyes are the most beautiful shade of blue, just like yours! Yes, you do, my beautiful princess! You’ve got your Daddy’s eyes!”

Louis needed a drink. Or five.

“Harry, we are not adopting a dragon. You are human. A fragile, clumsy, very much not fireproof human. I’m not letting you keep something that can kill you easier than I can breathe, and that’s final!”

[or, the one where they adopt a baby dragon and learn that parenthood is not always easy.]

Read on AO3

written for @onedirectionfolklorefest, don't forget to check out all the other amazing fics!

[mblue-art]

"…what are you staring at?" out comes the muffled question, soft and warm, like the half-eaten sesame ball lightly squished between their fingers. golden eyes flicker down for just a second at the treat, reminding him of their cheeks earlier when they were stuffed full as they chowed down on fried rice. his smile stretches wider. it's that same, lovely grin that never fails to make their heart flutter. "you," (adorable you), "of course. what, i can't lovingly stare at and appreciate my cute, cute partner?" a wobbly smile is followed by a puff of breath and the bloom of red on their cheeks. "whatever…" his grin stays.

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Snowed In

Okay. Seeing as I have been spamming you guys with the new AU. I think it is time for a little treat :3

Ever wondered how the Gang and the Danielle's became such good friends?

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edit: damnit I forgot to summon you! @spotaus

*---------------------*

Horror watches as Cross looks into the chimney "any luck so far Dust?"

Some clanks and curses "No."

That isn't good.

Horror had never been in the AU for as long as now. And never in the winter months.

He hadn't known that a blizzard could hit out of nowhere.

They had been snowed in very quickly and most electricity had shorted out.

Which honestly wouldn't have been that big of a deal if it hadn't been for their chimney getting clogged with debris. Meaning they couldn't start a fire and risk getting their house smoked out, or worse actually burned down.

Dust had climbed up it to see if he could fix it but he hadn't had much luck. aparently it was really stuck and Dust only had so much room to move around in up there. and if he used too much force it could cause damage.

Horror was fine, he is used to the cold. Same for Dust. Cross is trained and could manage as well. Killer already runs a lot hotter thanks to his strange soul situation and overwarm mana.

Nightmare however?

Horror walks over to the nest and pulls a blanket up slightly. The little made den only holds Killer nad Nightmare at the moment, Killer's soul lighting up the tiny hiding place.

Horror looks at the two as he tries to appear calm even if he feels so afraid and worried "and?"

Killer is rubbing Nightmare through the extra blanket they have him wrapped in. Killer shoots him an anxious look "He is very out of it. I didn't think the cold would be this bad for him."

Horror frowns and mutters "fragile magic." not only that but he is also a tree spirit who was originally form an AU where it was always spring or summer time, or some curious combination of the two. Nightmare was literally not made to deal with winter.

Killer frowns as he tries to share the body heat he has. Nightmare mumbles some words and opens his sockets. looking exhausted.

Killer however looks excited "Hey there tiny boss! How are you feeling?"

Nightmare frowns and looks confused before muttering an reply "tired..."

Killer frowns "Yeah i get thtat. just stay awake for a bit longer okay?"

Nightmare mutters unhappily as he shivers. Nightmare pushes himself close to Killer and Killer locks both his arms around him again as he stares at him "please tell me dust almost got it fixed?"

Horror sighs and shakes his skull. It isn't fixed. and that is the issue.

Killer looks afraid as he looks down at Nightmare "Maybe... maybe we need to make another jump? To a warmer AU at least? Get him to warm up?"

Horror agrees but also the idea of Nightmare making a dimension jump now? while he is already fragile? Horror is afraid it will just make things worse and-

Knocking on the door.

Killer looks up and stares "who the fuck visits people in a blizzard?"

horror frowns and shoots Killer a smile "I will check." he rises to his feet after tugging the blanket in again as he makes his way towards the door. Cross is by his side and looking at it with distrust.

Horror opens the door a tiny bit and stares in shock.

Dani stands on their porch. Dressed in some winter clothes but it looks more like she is dressed for a day of snow fun in the park over standing in a blizzard.

Dani notices he opened the door and grins "Snow carepackage delivery! What you needing?"

horror doens't have the words but luckily Cross does "what the fuck?"

Dani grins as she points a thumb over her shoulder towards the drive way "special snowday delivery."

Horror looks over and sees a very old off road truck standing on their porch. The tires are halfway deflated but gigantic and horror can spot the silvery chains all over them.

Dani must see the confusion and sighs something in the air and Horror can see Ellie give a sigh back.

The truck turns off and Ellie climbs out and towards the loading area of the truck and starts searching through stuff.

Dani steps into their house and clsoes the door before she frowns "fuck it is cold in here. What is wrong?"

Horror is once again all out of words as Cross mutters "chimney got something stuck in it. Dust is trying to fix it but... well... we hadn't finished isolating the whole house..."

Dani nods as she grabs a very old walky talky from her belt. she turns it on and speaks "Dani to Ellie. over."

a moment of silence before crackling "Ellie to Dani, hearing you loud and clear. over!" there are clear sounds of wind on the other side.

Dani grins "Dani to Ellie. We will need tools and blankets. any spare winter clothes is also a must. Over."

a moment before an answer "Heard you loud and clear! Getting it all ready! over and out!"

And Dani puts the walky talky back to her belt before she answers "Each year winter hits hard here. the first year we got here we noticed this and started going around to check on our neighbors. Gerson especially when he still lived here. We kept the habit up." she looks around "anything else you need?"

horror shakes his skull "Nothing really. Just too cold for Nightmare." and didn't that just feel like a failure? To not have been prepared.

Dani nods "You still got enough wood for when the chimney works fine?"

Cross nods "We should."

Dani looks relieved "okay that is good. Lets check to make sure it is all dry while Ellie grabs the stuff."

Dani lets Cross lead her to their wood storage as Horror quickly updates Dust and Killer. both voice their surprise about the sudden visit but one shiver of nightmare and neither say much more on it.

Neither likes to be in debt to others but if it is for their babybones? Yeah. Horror gets it.

Some nkocking on the door and Horror rushes to open it.

Ellie looks even less dressed for the snow as she just stands there with a warm sweater, snowpants, snowboots, a scarf and some earmuffs. She walks in but before she fully steps in she hits her boots together and against the outside doorpost to kick off the snow.

Now that he thinks about it Dani did the same.

Ellie walks in and grins "okay! Winter jacket and sweater. air tight and water proof." she holds it up "Probably a good idea for your kid. Kids always have trouble regulating their heat." she she hands it over.

Horror quickly leads her and all her stuff next to the nest where he raises the blanket again. He shows the jacket and Killer snatches it quickly to wrap Nightmare completely in it.

Ellie next holds up a very large woolen blanket and a fleece blanket. She holds up the woolen one first "This one first. all around him. Then wrap the fleece blanket around that." Horror does as told as Ellie continues to speak.

"What we are doing. As long as there is no outside heat. is trying to form an isolation for him so his own body heat can warm him up. We found that these things work very well."

They end up having nightmare all wrapped up and back in killer's arms before putting another fleece blanket on top of the blanket already covering them.

Ellie shows some thermo clothes next for them to wear and stay warm but Horror mentions they are mostly fine. As long as they stay out of the wind and snow that is. Ellie accepts it and puts it on the pile to take back to their truck.

Dani and cross reappear from their wood pile "Looks fine. you guys also still have enough fire starters so you should be golden. oh nice you brought the tools!" Dani checks the stuff and pulls out a mallet and some rope before going to go towards the chimney and start talking with dust.

Cross stares at Ellie "what?"

ellie smiles as she waits for her wife to finish "We do this yearly. Dani and I are made for the cold. She being a malamute dog monster and I am actually a snowshoe hare. Not exactly bunny but I don't mind being called a bunny monster." she shrugs with a grin. "When the first blizzard hit it meant that we were both excited and went for a walk in the snow together. it was great to be in these temperatures again."

she frowns "As we were walking we realised we didn't see smoke come from the direction of one of our neighbors. where we grew up you just kinda relied on each other in the cold months. You kept an eye on your neighbors and if they lit their fires on time. We decided to check it out and found out that one of them had gotten surprised by the cold and the the house's heating had gotten damaged."

Ellie waves off the worry "Everything was fine in the end. we helped our neighbor back to our house and let him stay while we grabbed some supplies and decided to walk around and check on the others. We made it a habit and made sure that our truck was easy to prepare for winter and rough weather." she grins.

a loud clank and they turn to see a large piece of wood and branches at the bottom of the chimney. Dani grins as she looks up into it "check the top and if the closing and opening mechanism is stillwhole! You guys will need that to keep the snow out."

a moment of silence before confirmation that it is still moving and seems whole. Dani nods and says she will test the handle and to say if anything sounds weird or seems to move weird. They get through the test and moments later dust is down with them.

Dani grins at Ellie "My lady. if you could."

Ellie grins as she walks over to the fire place and with just a few quick hadn movements the fire is ablaze.

Cross blinks "you have fire magic?"

ellie giggles "nah. just the skills to start one!"

dani nods "she is a born arsonist. sadly she is lawful good." ellie nudges her in the side.

Dani grins as Ellie giggles before she shoots them a smile "You guys good? We need to be on our way to check the others. there are always people with little wood or food or blankets and we want to check everyone."

Dani nods "We just came here first because... well it is you guys's first winter here. if you didn't expect the blizzard it can cause for issues."

Horror shakes his skull "we are good." whihc is when they hear sleepy mutters from their nest and killer actually pushes the blanket back to show nightmare rubbing his sockets with a tiny frown. clearly free from his forced half hibernation he had been almost kicked into.

Horror lets out a breath of relieve and mutters "we are good..."

Dani and ellie share a look and nod before leaving a very cheap looking phone with them "in case of you guys need anything else."

Cross frowns and points at their land line "the phone is out."

Dani nods "we know. that is an upgraded walky talky."

ellie grins "while the phone towers can be knocked out these babies are sturdy! They also are limited though. which is why you can only call us using that one but we are by far the most mobile in this weather." and she puffs her chest up proudly

Dani smiles "just give us a call if you need anything." she nudges Ellie "we need to get moving. we don't want to have to drive through a dark snowstorm."

and the two leave again. They both climb into their truck, which really is just their normal truck but with large wheels. before the drive off. huh. seems like the almost flat tires give them drip to get through the loose snow and over the icy roads.

Horror makes a mental note to find a way to thank them before acutally makign a note on their to-do list instead.

afterwards they sit in their nest and just listen to the fire crackle as the storm rages on.

*---------------------*

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[lillymakesart]

my new OC: cempaka!

she is based on the story/universe that my friend @haydardotjpg's OCs indra and yuwei exist in! pls go checkout haydar's art he is amazing!! his ocs can be found more easily on his ig but if you're lazy this is his oc indra (cempaka's one-sided love interest) and yuwei (indra's fated lover)

also, cempaka means "magnolia" in malay!! (she gets a flower name bc my name is lilly which is also flower c:)

bonus first iteration under the cut!

i accidentally had "poinsettia" flower in mind when i did this iteration instead of an actual magnolia, hence the color scheme. but yeah, this is as self-insert as it gets LOL like she's literally MEEEEEE but still very different and i love her as she is <3

[johnsbleu]

Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 179

warnings: nsfw moment hmh masterlist

“Momma,” Ronan walks over to you with a flower in her hand, and you smile as you take it. “For you.”

“Well, thank you, baby.” you lean over and laugh when she tucks it behind your ear. “Where is your dad?”

Ronan shrugs before she rushes over and plays in the yard with Bleu. You’re supposed to be going on a walk, but John had something he needed to grab quickly, and he’s taking longer than expected.

After the Peter incident, it’s been…different around the house. John is just quiet and a little disengaged with things. It didn’t happen right away, but about a week after everything happened, John got really quiet. He got into his own head, which makes you worry. He’s been shutting himself in the basement more often than not, which means you and Ronan haven’t been spending as much time with him.

You take the flower out of your hair and set it on the table, then you open the patio door and stick your head in, “John, you still coming with us?”

“Uh, I don’t think so,” he calls from the office. “You two go without me.”

You frown a little, but you let him have his space, “Okay, well, we’ll be back in a bit then.”

Just as you go to shut the door, you see John poke his head around the corner, “I love you.”

“I love you too, John.” you smile softly, “We’ll be back in a bit.”

You watch as John goes back to the office and closes the door, and you try to keep yourself composed as you turn around to look down at Ronan.

“Daddy?”

“He’s busy, so it’s just us girls,” you say, praying she’ll be okay with it. “Is that okay?”

Ronan nods her head and holds up Bleu’s leash, so you take it and clip it to his collar. You lift up Ronan and put her into the stroller, then you fix her hat and make sure she’s bundled up. It’s not really that cold, but there’s a little nip in the air.

“Should we maybe go to the park?” you ask, and she nods. You lean down and kiss her cheek, “Alright, let’s go.”

__

Ronan is playing with some other kids at the park as you watch her, and she waves when she looks at you. You wave back at her and laugh when she giggles loudly. She truly can brighten any gloomy day. Even though it’s not really gloomy today, you feel gloomy. Whenever John isn’t feeling like himself, it hurts you. You just want him to be himself again, but you don’t want to push him. He’s allowed to process his emotions. It just sucks that he’s shutting you out.

“Hello, sister.” Tess says, leaning over the back of the bench you’re sitting on, “Watcha up to?”

You gesture to Ronan, “Just letting her get some energy out. How about you?”

“On a walk. It’s so nice,” Tess says, then she smiles as Jimmy chases Finn to the playground. She sits down next to you and rests her hands on her growing belly, “Where’s Wick?”

“He stayed home,” you say, watching Tess look at you from the corner of her eye.

She shifts a little on the bench to allow Jimmy to sit next to her, “He didn’t want to come with?”

“No, he’s…I don’t know,” you look down at your hands and shrug, “This past week or so, he’s been a little quiet. I know it’s not Helen, like an anniversary or anything, plus we talk about that stuff now. He’s open about it.”

“Think it’s Peter?” Jimmy asks, and you look at him. He inhales deeply and nods, “I worried he’d do this.”

You nod, “Me too.”

“Want me to talk to him?” he asks, and you look at him and shrug.

“It might be good for him to hear from someone else for a change.” you let out a stiff laugh, “I’m sure he’s sick of me.”

Tess shakes her head, “Don’t. This isn’t on you.”

“It’s just when he decides to shut down and shut people out, it’s so fucking lonely for those he shuts out, and I know he’s lonely too. Or maybe he’s not.” you whisper as you tear up, then you look at Jimmy, “Please talk to him.”

“I will,” he nods, reaching over for your hand, “I will.”

Tess smiles as she looks at you, “You up for some ice cream?”

__

Of course you were up for ice cream. You feel like shit and ice cream is obviously the answer. The idea of letting Ronan get energy out at the park ended up being pointless since she’s going crazy over some sugar now, but it’s fine. She’s playing with Finn in the playroom, so hopefully she’ll get the rest of her energy out.

When you got to Tess’ house, Jimmy went to your house to talk to John. You hope it’s going okay. John loves Jimmy and knows he wants the best for him, so hopefully John will be open with him.

“Have you two talked about the whole Peter thing?”

You nod, “We did. I was the one who told John to kill him, well, actually mom said it first.”

“Excuse me, mom said what?”

“Yeah,” you laugh quietly, “When we were in the hospital, she said she wouldn’t blame John if he killed him. She said she doesn’t understand everything about John’s past but she understands enough. Anyway, I told John at the police station that he should do it. I didn’t say it in those words, but it was implied. So, it’s not like I didn’t know John would do it. Hell, I knew he would before I ever even suggested it. I know John. I know he’ll do whatever he can to protect his family.”

Tess nods as she shifts on the couch, “What do you think is going on with him?”

“He’s getting into his head and overthinking everything, which means he shuts down. Gets emotionless. He said something the other day that concerned me, but I just kind of brushed it aside because I was tired of living life with a cloud over my head.”

“What did he say?”

You look at Tess, “He said he’s let his walls down and now he’s weak.”

“But him letting his walls down is actually the opposite. He’s strong and brave for allowing love back into his life. He understands what loss is. He’s incredibly brave for it.”

“And I told him that. I told him that letting his walls down is why I’m here and why we have a daughter. I just feel like maybe it went in one ear and out the other. Or maybe that’s not what is bothering him, or maybe he just needs to talk about something else. I hate feeling like this,” you frown as you look at her, “I hate not knowing what’s going on with him. He’s my best friend. I know him better than anyone, and I hate feeling like I don't know him right now.”

Tess opens her mouth to say something, but the front door opens as Jimmy walks in. You turn around to look at him, and he quickly leans down to kiss Tess before plopping into the chair and exhaling sharply.

“So, how did it go?”

Jimmy rubs his hands over his face--oh, it was that bad then. He sits up and shakes his head, “He has thick fucking walls, Y/N. I couldn’t crack him. I usually can. I have before in the past, you know, that’s my…that’s my fucking best friend, but I couldn’t. Not this time. I’m sorry.”

You sit back and sigh, “It’s fine. Thanks, Jimmy.”

“I can go over tomorrow and try again, but…”

“It’s okay,” you look at him and smile softly, “Thanks.”

Tess reaches for your hand, “So, what’s the plan?”

“He wants to be alone, so I’ll let him be alone.” you say, shrugging. “I mean, I’m always going to be there for him, but he clearly isn’t ready to talk about it, so I’ll give him space until he’s ready. I can wait. I love him more than anything; I can wait.”

“Wanna sleepover?” Tess asks, and you frown as you tear up and nod your head. She wraps her arm around your shoulder and looks at Jimmy, “Sorry, babe, I can’t snuggle with you tonight.”

Jimmy laughs as he gets up and kisses the top of her head, “That’s okay. I understand.”

You smile when Jimmy ruffles your hair, “Thanks, Jimmy.”

“Anything for family, right?” he says, and you nod your head. “No need to thank me.”

__

Since you’re just packing a little bag for the night, you left Ronan with Tess but you brought Bleu back home. He immediately goes to the last place John was--the office--but he quickly comes out and looks at you. You furrow your brow and look to your right at the basement door that is slightly open.

“Hey, you down here?”

“Yeah,” he says, and you make your way down to find him working on a book. He doesn’t even look up at you. “How was your walk?”

You let out a small laugh, “Our walk ended about three hours ago, but it was fine. Thanks for asking. Um, Ro and I are going to stay the night at Tess’.”

That gets his attention. He looks up at you, “Why?”

“The kiddos wanted a sleepover, and you know Tess, she loves them too.” you say, and John nods before looking down. “You’ll be okay here?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

You inhale deeply as you shuffle in place a little, “I’ll miss you.”

“Well, I’ll be here,” he says, which completely shatters you.

You blink a few times to rid your eyes of tears, “I’m gonna go pack a bag for us.”

“Did you send Jimmy over to talk to me?” he asks as you step onto the stairs. You look over your shoulder at him and shake your head. He sets his utensils down, “You did.”

“I just wanted, maybe, ugh…” you turn around and gesture to him, “You’re being quiet, so I thought maybe you didn’t want to talk to me, and if you didn’t want to talk to me, maybe you’d want to talk to your best friend. I guess I was wrong.”

John nods, “I appreciate you looking out for me, but I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You have to eventually, John. It’ll eat you alive otherwise. Just talk to me.” you say, walking over to him, “Talk to me.”

John rests his hands on your waist and looks up at you, “I can’t. Not right now.”

“Am I asking too much of you? Am I being too much? How can I fix it?”

“This isn’t you.”

“No, this isn’t you. Being so quiet, shutting me out, it’s not you, John. You’re not that guy anymore.”

John shakes his head, “I’m always going to be that guy.”

“Stop repeating words you’ve heard from enemies.” you say, tilting his chin up, “Listen to me, listen to someone who loves you: you’re not that guy.”

“I appreciate it, I do, but…” he looks down and sighs, “Just not now, okay?”

You frown as you look at him so small and defeated, “Okay. I’ll be at Tess’ if you…need me.”

He won’t call. Maybe he’ll text just to say he loves Ronan or something, but you know you won’t hear from him for the rest of the night.

“I love you,” you whisper to him, and he looks at you as you walk to the stairs. “While you’re busy putting up all those walls again, remember who broke them down last time. I did once, I’ll do it again.”

__

You can’t avoid the house, nor do you want to. It’s your home, and John isn’t some big, scary creature; he’s just having a hard time. Maybe just your presence will make him feel a little better or something. Probably not, but it’s worth a shot.

When you got home, you saw that the kitchen and living room were a little less than tidy, plus you had a big pile of clothes that needed to be washed. Logan has always washed his own clothes, but since he’s been working a lot more than usual, he hasn’t had the time, so his clothes are in a basket in the laundry room as well. You’ll toss them in and get that taken care of first.

As you sift through his clothes, you peek out to the living room and see Ronan playing by herself with her toys. You smile when she makes a little noise, then you load the washer and turn to grab some soap.

“Daddy!” Ronan calls out, and you peek around the corner again, watching as Ronan hugs John tight.

“Hi, baby girl.” John ruffles her hair a little and smiles when she holds up a toy to show him. He sits down on the floor with her and plays for a few minutes, “Are you being good for momma?”

You watch as Ronan nods her head and points to where you’re standing. You quickly move so John can’t see you, then you put the soap in the washer and start it. Since there’s nothing left for you to do in the laundry room, you head to the kitchen and start cleaning up in there. You gather up some papers that have been sitting on the counter for a few days and bring them to the office, tucking them away in a drawer. You’ll deal with them later.

John is, surprisingly, still playing with Ronan when you walk past, and you smile to yourself when you hear the two of them laughing. Even though he’s shutting you out, it’s nice that he’s spending a little time with her. He adores her, and she adores him.

After spraying and wiping down the counters, you start the dishwasher and put away some small items that are around. You really want to mop the kitchen floor, but Ronan isn’t ready for a nap yet. You want to do it once she’s napping so that she won’t walk on the wet floor, plus you can mop and have a little snack afterward while you wait for it to dry.

John clears his throat, “Hey.”

“Hey,” you glance up at him from where you’re cleaning the windows.

“How was your…sleepover?”

You shrug, “It was okay. We crashed in the basement, and it was really cold.”

“Yeah, their basement is freakishly cold.”

“Probably a ghost,” you joke, and John’s lips tip up a little. “Are you busy?”

John nods, “Yeah, just working on some stuff. I heard noise up here, so I just wanted to see Ronan.”

You look over at him and feel your nose burn as you tear up. He looks at you and widens his eyes before shaking his head.

“No, that…that came out wrong. I wanted to see you too--”

“It’s fine,” you put your hand up and wave it off, “She’s cute and can barely talk. I get why you’d just want to see her.”

John steps closer, “It’s not that I didn’t want to see you.”

“You just didn’t want to talk to me,” you say, holding his gaze, “I get it. We don’t have to talk. I’ll go back to doing what I’m doing.”

God, this is killing you! You just want to fucking talk to him. He obviously doesn’t realize that what he’s saying is hurtful and it sucks. You know John, so you know he’ll apologize for acting this way, but until he’s ready to talk, it will be a lonely time.

You look over your shoulder to see John looking around the kitchen for something, “What are--”

“Where was the paper that was here?” he says, tapping the counter, “I had a paper here that I needed. It was important. I need it.”

“I…” you set the cleaner aside and walk around to search the drawers, “I just was cleaning and I put--”

John sighs, “You misplaced it. Or threw it away.”

“I didn’t throw it--”

“I really needed that, Y/N”

You look at him, “And I’ll find it. Calm down.”

“I just needed--”

“You needed it. Yeah, got it,” you roll your eyes and close the drawer, then you head to the office to find the stack of papers you had earlier. You bring them back to John and throw them a little too hard on the counter, and some slide to the floor. “Is it in this pile?”

John looks through them and takes one, nodding his head, “Yes, it’s here.”

“So, no, I did not misplace it or throw it away. You’re welcome.” you say, and John looks at you and opens his mouth, but you stop him. “Don’t. I really do want an apology, but you’re being a true asshole right now. You can shut me out all you want, but I draw the line at being a dick to me. I’m not cool with that. I’ve always stood up for myself, and that won’t stop today. You’re being mean and incredibly unfair to me when all I’m doing is giving you space or just trying to let you know I’m here for you. If you’re going to continue to be mean to me, then you can go back downstairs and continue ignoring me too.”

“Look…”

You turn to him, “John, no! I said I’m not looking for an apology right now. You’ve made me feel like shit. I want to be left alone. I’m respecting you; do the same for me.”

John stands there for a moment before he lets out a sharp sigh, “Fine.”

Looking ahead, you watch John from the corner of your eye as he waits for a moment. You know this man better than anyone, so you know he’s waiting for a moment longer so he can see if he can apologize yet. Not only is this killing you, but deep down, you know in your heart it’s killing him too.

John taps the paper against the counter, “I’ll be downstairs.”

The moment you hear the basement door shut, you put your head down on the counter and cry.

__

You’re ready to talk to John. Whether he’s ready to talk to you or not is still the question. He’s been up and down from the basement all day today. You think he’s trying to work up the courage to talk to you, but you feel like he doesn’t know how to go about it.

After stepping out onto the patio with a cup of coffee, you smile when you see Ronan playing with Bleu. She gives her best attempt at throwing the ball for him, and it only goes a few feet, but Bleu is very enthusiastic about it anyway. He gets it and immediately drops it at her feet.

You look over your shoulder when you hear the door open, and you smile softly at John before looking back at Ronan. John chuckles quietly when he sees her throw the ball for Bleu.

“She can’t throw very far, but he doesn’t care,” you say as John stands next to you. You sip your coffee and offer him some. Surprisingly, he takes a drink of it before handing it back. You take a deep breath and look at him, “Can we talk now?”

John looks down at the ground as he shuffles in place, “I don’t know.”

“I don’t want to force you to talk about it if you’re not ready, but I can’t keep doing this.” you say, turning to face him, “I can’t live my life without talking to you. I can’t live my life without you. I can’t live my life with you shutting me out. I want to talk. I want to listen to you. I just want to fix whatever is broken and move past it. Not because I just want to get past it, but I want you to be okay. I want my husband back.”

John blinks as he looks at Ronan, then he furrows his brow, “What is she doing?”

“She’s playing in a pile of leaves.” you say, deflating and tilting your head back, “John, we need to talk.”

John pushes past you, “No, she’s playing in the flowers. Ronan Charlotte!”

You watch as John walks over to her and grabs the dead flower in her hand, and you immediately follow him.

“Where did you find this?” he asks, and Ronan points at the ground.

Your heart sinks to the ground when you realize she’s been playing on the spot where Daisy is buried. John plants flowers there every spring. They’ve died, but they’re still there and will be until next spring when he plants them again.

“You do not play there, and you do not take these flowers, you understand me?”

Ronan instantly starts crying, because why wouldn’t she when her gentle and sweet dad is scolding her, and you lean down and pick her up, looking at John in horror. He’s never yelled at her. He’s barely even scolded her.

John huffs, “She’s not supposed to play on that spot.”

“She didn’t know.”

John shakes his head, “I’ve told her before. She didn’t listen. You can’t play there!”

“Jonathan!” you turn Ronan away from him, “Stop! She is a toddler. Stop yelling at her!”

“I’ve told her before--”

You put your hand up to stop him, furrowing your brow and looking at him in disgust, “Stop! Who the hell are you right now? Yelling at our daughter for playing in leaves, for picking flowers. I don’t…I don’t know you right now.”

It must be a sobering thing for him to hear because John’s entire demeanor immediately changes. His tense shoulders relax, his cold eyes turn warm but sad.

“I’m…”

You shake your head, holding Ronan tight to your chest as she cries. John steps forward, so you step back and put your hand out.

“Don’t.”

John begins to crumble, “Mouse, I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t hurt you.”

You scoff, “Right now I don’t know who you even are, so I can’t say that I believe you.”

“You think I’d hurt you?”

“Do I think you’d physically hurt me? No, of course not, John. But you have hurt me. You have hurt me all week, Jonathan. You’ve been fucking mean to me and to Ronan. You’ve ignored us.” you say, and he frowns. “Don’t follow me inside. Just…leave us alone for a bit. Now I’m shutting you out.”

John puts his hand over his heart as if it hurts, “Don’t do this. I can’t…I can’t deal with that right now. I need you.”

“You should have thought about that sooner.”

You hoist Ronan up and kiss her cheek as you walk into the house, soothing her along the way. You close the door behind you and look back at John as he watches you, then you head up to Ronan’s room with her in your arms.

__

Who would have guessed that sleeping on your daughter’s tiny bed would cause your back to hurt? You feel stiff as a board as you get up and stretch. You stretch your arms above your head and yawn before looking down to see Ronan isn’t in bed. You open the door and hear a fork scraping against a plate and Ronan giggling, and you put your hand over your heart where it’s hammering away.

“Want more?” John asks, and Ronan nods her head as she looks up at him. He leans down and kisses the top of her head, “Hungry little bug.”

You smile as you watch John looking down at her adoringly. You clear your throat and give him a small wave when he looks at you.

“Hey, I just got her some breakfast. She…crawled into bed with me this morning.”

You pull the sleeves of your sweater down over your hands, “Yeah, I think she was tired of sharing with me. Sorry about that, bug.”

“I had plenty of room to share with her,” he says, and you look at him, “You could have crawled into bed with me too.”

“Yeah, well,” you shrug as you lean against the counter, “Me from last night didn’t want that.”

John chuckles, “But you from this morning with a stiff back…”

“Yeah, she, on the other hand, would have loved it.” you say, letting out a small laugh. You look up at John as he watches you, then you take a deep breath and say something just as John does. He gestures for you to start, but you shake your head and gesture to him.

“I made breakfast.” he says quietly, gesturing to the counter, “I haven’t made pancakes for a while, so I thought I would.”

You lean on your elbows on the counter and grab a pancake. You rip a piece off and eat it, “Peace offering?”

“It’d be a rather poor one,” he says, and you look at him as he grimaces, “I can do better.”

“No need to do anything for me.”

John nods, “I already apologized to her. She…stuck her finger up my nose, so I think she’s forgiven me. I can’t tell though. She’s a hard one to read, kind of like her mom.”

“You understand why I’m upset?”

“Absolutely.” he nods, and you set down your half-eaten pancake. “And I want to talk about everything."

“Let’s sit down and have a real conversation,” you suggest, motioning toward the table. John nods in agreement, his expression serious yet open. “Let’s talk about what’s really going on.”

“I know things have been strained between us,” John begins, his voice tinged with sincerity. “I can’t exactly explain everything I’ve been feeling because it doesn’t make sense. It really doesn’t. But I want to apologize. I want to fix this.”

You listen intently, feeling a glimmer of hope. There is so much vulnerability in his eyes. You’re honestly a little surprised he’s having this conversation in front of Ronan, but this is how you know he’s ready to talk. You could be petty and tell him you’ll talk to him when you’re ready and make him wait, but you’re not that person. You’re his wife who loves him more than anything in this world, and you want this weird tension to end.

John reaches across the table for your hand, “I’ve been an asshole to you. I’ve been mean, I’ve been distant. I made our baby cry. Trust me, nothing in this world could make me feel worse than that.”

“Why? Why have you been acting like this? I thought everything was fine,” you hold John’s hand with both of yours, and he leans over more, placing his hand on top of yours. “After Peter, I thought things had gone back to normal.”

“Remember what you said about me putting my walls back up…” he says, and you nod. “I started to put them back up. I quickly realized putting them back up hurts the people I love the most. I was pushing you away.”

You bite your cheek before you squeeze his hand, “Was it a self-preservation thing? Trying to protect yourself like you did before?”

“I think so,” he admits, and you squeeze his hand again, “There was a moment where I thought that if I put those walls up again, I’d be…safe. It was so second nature to me that I didn’t even realize I was doing it at first. I don’t want to lose you, and putting those walls up caused me to lose you.”

“You didn’t lose me.”

John looks down, “Yet.”

You loosen your grip on his hands and pull away, and John furrows his brow and leans over more for your hand.

“What do you mean ‘yet’?” you stare at him as you tear up, “Are…are you breaking up with me?”

“No! Oh my god, no.” he says, pulling your chair as close as he can to him, “Hell would have to freeze over before I ever did that.”

“Then what do you mean by ‘yet’?”

John sighs, “I can’t stop feeling this way. I don’t want to get hurt. I can’t stop feeling like I have to protect myself.”

“Do you remember when we first started dating?” you ask, and John smiles as he nods. “Remember how I would be so weirded out when you’d do nice things for me? I’d immediately assume you just wanted to get laid, but I quickly learned that you were just really nice. You’re just a really nice guy, I still think that now. Remember how you’d try to do something nice for me and I’d immediately try to shut it down because…no one has ever just done nice things for me before. You taught me to let my guard down and allow someone to just be nice to me, and because of that, well, here we are.”

“This is a little different from that.”

You shrug, “Maybe so, but we’ve gone on to have such a great relationship because, while yes, someone hurt me so deeply in my past, I don’t let it define my life now. If I did, John, we wouldn’t even be together still. I would have completely sabotaged our relationship, and sometimes, if I don’t catch myself right away, I still see myself getting ready to do it because despite everything, sometimes I feel like I still don’t deserve this life.”

“But you do,” he whispers, reaching over to cup your face, “You deserve everything, Y/N. You deserve every good thing life has to offer.”

You cock up your brow and smile at him, “Now say that to yourself.”

“That’s different,” he drops his hand and sighs, “I’ve done…bad things.”

“Who the hell cares? Do I look like I care?” you ask, and he laughs quietly. “Is this…because of Peter?”

John looks at you, “I haven’t had to be that person for a long time, and I guess I’m having some sort of conflict over it. Imposter syndrome or whatever.”

“John, you deserve a good and happy life, and guess what?” you whisper, tilting his chin up, “John Wick deserves one too. I don’t just love Jonathan, I also love John Wick. I love every side and every inch of that man, you know that, right? I love every single part of you.”

“If Helen were here and I had to do this,” he shakes his head, “She’d never forgive me.”

You smile softly when he looks at you, “But I’m not Helen.”

“I know,” he nods, reaching for your hand again, “I know you’re not.”

“And John, she loved you. She’d have forgiven you. Despite you thinking you’re some monster who is cursed, you’re not. You’re just a guy.”

John starts to laugh, “Well, thanks.”

“You know what I mean!” you laugh as you get up and sit in his lap, “You don’t ever need to apologize to me for protecting me. I told you what needed to be done. You needed to kill him. I would have done it myself!”

“You don’t ever have to do that stuff. You have me for that.”

A smile spreads on your face as you look at him, “Don’t shut me out. No matter what you’re feeling. I want to know because I want to help, and even if I can’t help, it’ll help you to just get it off your chest. Doesn’t it feel good to just talk to someone?”

“It does.” he nods, then he puts his hand over his face, “I am so sorry.”

“You’re still learning.” you say, pressing a kiss to his cheek, “We’re still learning. Yeah, we’ve been together for a few years now, but we’re constantly learning more about each other. We’re being put into different situations every day, and it helps us learn more about each other. We’re not automatically going to know how to navigate all of it just because we love each other. But because we love each other, we’re always going to want to help the other. I love you more than anything in this world, and all I’ve wanted these past few days was to make you feel better. I wanted to make all the bad feelings you were having go away.”

John touches your cheek gently, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you smile at him, “Don’t shut me out.”

“I won’t,” he shakes his head as he leans up to kiss you, “I promise I won’t. God, I completely shut Jimmy out too. He probably…hates me.”

“Stop saying things like that. No one hates you because you’re having an emotion that’s something other than happiness. We get mad, we get sad, we get anxious, we shut down, but no one hates us for it. I do not hate you for it. Jimmy does not hate you for it.”

John’s eyes are so sad as he looks at you, “I shut you out.”

“You did,” you nod. You’re not going to beat around the bush. “You really hurt my feelings. You scared me.”

“I’m sorry, I really am,” he cups your face and rubs his thumb over your cheek, “I’m…so worried that word will get out to people and they’ll think I’m coming back.”

You furrow your brow, “Like last time?”

“I went back in for a reason. Someone wronged me, and I wanted revenge for that. Then suddenly, people were coming out of the woodwork…”

“Santino?” you ask, and John nods, “Yeah, but he’s dead. I think everyone would understand why you did what you did; to protect your family. Peter was…a nobody. He didn’t know you. He didn’t know your past.”

John nods, “I just don’t want anyone to try to pull me back.”

“If they try, they’ll have to deal with me, because if you go, I go. Two minutes in a car with me, and they’d bring you back.” you say as John laughs, “Trust me, if someone were to step foot into this house and try to pull you back in, I would stand in their way and not move. I’m not letting you go back to that life. You deserve to have a good life, John, and I’m going to make sure that you have it.”

“I do have a good life, because of you.”  he says, and you wrap your arm around his shoulder and hug him. He holds you close and rests his head on your chest, “I’m truly so sorry.”

You close your eyes and rest your cheek against the top of his head, “Thank you.”

“You should never feel that way, and I always promised that I’d never make you feel that, but I did.”

Sitting back, you look at him, “It would be so unfair to you if I didn’t allow you to have any emotions. How unfair would it be if someone told you that you’re never allowed to get upset or sad or pissed off about something? I would be beyond upset if that happened to me. I’m allowed to feel every emotion under the sun, and you are too. I will never be the person who tells you how to feel. That’s not fair to the person that I love, and it’s not realistic. It is so unrealistic and, again, unfair to hold you to a standard where you’re not allowed to feel certain things.”

“I hate when we fight.”

“I do too! But not to sound like a broken record, it is genuinely so unrealistic to hold you to some standard where you aren’t allowed to be upset or have emotions. I truly hate the saying ‘love means never having to say sorry’, because it basically just means you get to treat someone like shit and never apologize, but you and I, we apologize. Immediately once the dust has settled.”

John chuckles, “Because I don’t like when we’re not getting along.”

“And I don’t either.” you press a kiss to his lips and hold his gaze. “You’re allowed to feel things, John. You’re allowed to not always be happy. Okay? And when you feel like shutting down, just don’t shut me out. I want to help.”

Letting out a big breath, John reaches up and tucks your hair behind your ear, “I won’t. I promise I won’t shut you out.”

“Okay, good. And no one is coming back to drag you into that world, okay? I’m not kidding when I say I will stand in their way. You’re not going anywhere. We need you,” you say, gesturing to yourself and Ronan, who is covered in maple syrup, “We need our guy. Don’t we, Ro?”

Ronan nods her head, “Yuh!”

You laugh when you see Ronan with maple syrup on her face, “See? We need you here, and you’ve already been gone for too long.”

John smiles, “It was a rough few days.”

“I know, but you’re back, right?” you ask, holding his gaze as he nods. “Good. I’ve missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” he whispers back, pulling you closer so he can kiss you.

You smile softly, “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” he nods, sighing a little, “Still worried someone is going to call, but if they do, I have no problem telling them that I’m done. I want to be here.”

“And those walls you were putting up to protect yourself?”

John nods, “They’re gone.”

“Good. I mean…” you get up and flex your arm, “I have no problem busting them down again. I did last time.”

“Effortlessly, to be honest.” John says, and you smile as he stands up in front of you. He pulls you closer and wraps his arms around your waist, “I’m sorry.”

You let out a small laugh, “I appreciate the apology.”

“And you forgive me?”

“Of course I do, babe.” you wrap your arms around his neck and smile at him, “Remember? Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

John begins to laugh, “Yeah, at face value, that quote is pretty shit.”

“I forgive you, John. I just want you to be able to come to me next time instead of shutting me out.”

“And I will. I didn’t…want to bother you with--”

You gasp, “Bother me? You? Bother me? Do you think you’ve ever bothered me before? I’m your wife! You do not bother me. The only thing that bothers me is that you feel like you bother me.”

John laughs, “Okay. That’s good to know.”

“What didn’t you want to bother me with?”

“I didn’t want to keep talking about him.” he says, and you nod. “I didn’t want to bring it up and upset you. We went through a lot. But I did need someone to talk about it with. I wanted that person to be you.”

You smile softly and whisper, “I am that person. I will always be that person. Do you still want to talk about it?”

John takes a deep breath and nods, “I do.”

“Okay, well--”

Ronan throws a pancake onto the floor and fusses, kicking her legs, “Out!”

“Later?” John says, and you lean up to kiss him.

“I will always make time for you and your emotions, John. I’m always gonna be here.” you cup his face while Ronan continues to cry, and you both start to laugh. “Tonight. You and me. We will talk all night long.”

John nods, “Sounds good.”

“Okay, I’m coming,” you say to Ronan as you get her out of the high chair, “You are filthy! You need a bath.”

“Thank you,” John says as you begin to leave the kitchen, and you turn around to look at him. “For being patient with me.”

You laugh, “I wasn’t exactly patient, and I certainly wasn’t very nice. I am sorry for that.”

“You were better than some people would have been.” he says, and you shrug. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you smile at him, then you lift up Ronan and look at him, “I am all yours tonight, John, and I’m all ears. I’ll be there for you.”

John puts his hand over his heart and smiles, “Thank you.”

__

You and John spent about an hour just talking about everything. He opened up to you and shared how he had been feeling. He truly just didn’t want to bother anyone with his feelings, which is crazy to you. You’re his wife, and you thought that he would know he could come to you. He just didn’t want to keep bringing up his past and Peter, which you understood in the end.

John pulls the blanket over your bare shoulder and smiles softly, “I missed you.”

“Oh, no, you mean you missed sex.”

“No!” he laughs, and you smile at him. “I mean, yeah, but that wasn’t what I was concerned with. I hate when we’re fighting or not getting along.”

You scoot closer and feel the warmth radiating from his naked body, “Me too. It’s lonely when you shut me out.”

“You’ve shut me out before, so I know what it feels like too,” he whispers, closing his eyes, “It’s not fun.”

“We should probably never do that again, huh?”

John laughs, “Yeah, I will never do that again.”

“Good,” you lean over and kiss him.

“At first I didn’t even realize I was pushing you away. I just got so focused on some work, and next thing I knew, I hadn’t talked to you all day. You were in bed when I finally came upstairs. Ronan was asleep. I didn’t even get to eat dinner with my girls or watch a movie.” he says, and you nod. He exhales as he shakes his head, “I am so sorry. I am more than sorry. I don’t know how long you want me to keep apologizing, but I’ll do it forever. I will beg and plead for your forgiveness, if I’m even worthy of it.”

You let out a small laugh, “Stop it. I love you, Jonathan. I didn’t ask for you to apologize 17 times. Once is enough for me as long as it’s genuine, which I know it is. I forgive you. And of course you’re worthy of my forgiveness.”

“Should I go check on Ro?” he asks quietly, and you smile at him before you nod.

Ronan is only a toddler, but John is desperate to know if she’s forgiven him--she has! She was clinging to him all night after dinner. She doesn’t even know what was happening, but John still feels awful for having yelled at her.

“I’ll be back,” John whispers, and you watch as he gets up and puts on his pajama pants and a t-shirt before disappearing around the corner to Ronan’s room.

You shift under the blankets a little and freeze when you hear the front door open. Logan is home. You can hear John’s voice, but you can’t make out the words, so you grab the blanket and wrap it around yourself to peek around the corner.

“I wanted to apologize,” John says, and you frown as you look down at him and Logan, “I’ve been a little distant lately.”

“I don’t blame you. What happened was nuts,” Logan says, and John nods. “I know it was hard on Y/N, which meant it was hard on you.”

John nods again, “It was, but we’re good now. I’m…sorry if I ignored you. I hope it didn’t remind you of your dad or anything.”

“Nah,” Logan waves it off, “You two couldn’t be any more different. Trust me, I understand. And hopefully this doesn’t sound rude, but I’ve been working so much that I hadn’t been around for a lot of it. Y/N was really alone then, huh?”

“She was,” John glances up at you, and you smile at him. “I think she’s good now. I hope she is.”

You laugh when they both look at you, “Yeah, I’m good.”

“We have plans tomorrow.” John says as he backs away, “You’re invited. Family day.”

Logan laughs, “Yeah, okay. Cool.”

“Goodnight,” Logan waves, then he heads to the kitchen for a late-night snack.

John smiles as he comes back up the stairs, and you back away and laugh when he shuts the door and locks it behind him. You open up the blanket and close your eyes when he wraps his arms around you and kisses you as you walk backwards toward your bed.

“Lay down, beautiful,” John whispers, and you do as you’re told. He fixes the blankets and holds your gaze as he pulls his shirt off and takes off his pajama pants.

You smile when he crawls back into bed with you, “Might want to turn the TV on. A little extra noise.”

John laughs as he reaches for the remote to turn it on. He turns the volume up just two clicks more than usual. It’s not too loud, but at least no one will be able to hear what’s happening in your bedroom.

“Ready?” you ask, and John scoffs before he playfully rolls his eyes and nods. “I’m just asking. The last one was…intense.”

“I’m always ready.” he says, and you shiver a little when he looks into your eyes.

You hum as he kisses you, “Good.”

After he turns off the light on his nightstand, John leans over and kisses you deeply, and you close your eyes and reach up to cup his face. He moves to hover above you, so you take the invitation and scoot over until you’re beneath his body. Using his legs, he spreads your legs open, and you both let out a breath when he slides between your legs with ease. You whimper into his mouth as he pushes himself in deeper, your nails digging into his back.

You bite your bottom lip to keep yourself from moaning too loudly, but when John thrusts his hips, you can’t help but let it out. You put your hand over your mouth and squeeze your eyes shut for a moment, then you reach up and grab a fistful of John’s hair, gripping it in your hand; he does the same to you.

Your head involuntarily tilts back as you moan, “Oh, fuck, John.”

“I love you,” John whispers against your forehead as he thrusts his hips, “I love you so much.”

You kiss John desperately as he rolls his hips, “Show me how much you love me.”

Those are the last words from your lips before John sits up and flips you over onto your stomach. He pulls you up by your hips and slides back between your legs, and you instantly dissolve into moans.

He trails kisses up your spine, sending shivers down your body. His hands explore every inch of your skin, finding their way up to your breasts. He cups them in his hands and gently helps you sit up so you’re leaning back against his chest. You roll your hips and moan softly, and John sucks on your neck for a moment before he places his hand over your mouth.

“Fuck me harder,” you demand, and John chuckles softly into your ear before laying you back down on the bed.

“Don’t have to tell me twice.”

You feel his warm breath against your skin as he trails kisses down your neck, covering your body in goosebumps. His hands explore your body with a gentle and soft touch, igniting a fire within you. All worries and stress melt away as you lose yourself with John, and his whispered words of love.

_

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@spiderfangirl22  @im--blushing @ruby-octo @sunnythebunny7  @livetosing21  @lilithlinen @ladyren33 @multifandombliss @tnu-ree @scream-queen-25 @beingnerdyissupercool @sakurachan-9

[literaryvein-reblogs]

november feels like

texts unsent, a poem written

in someone else's name,

it feels like

days spent outside your body,

a month which lasts years;

it is

the resting place of

the person we sought to become in january -

why can't we seem to escape the monotony?

i love november:

rain, leaves, and snow -

sometimes, i'm glad it never ends, because

i don't want to die

only to wake up bearing the weight

of another year.

<3

The prompt

[allastoredeer]

How is you undercover AU going??????🤨🤨🧐

I've actually been asked several times about how the Undercover Angel AU is going and when it'll be updated and the answer is:

I'm still working on the next pages, and I know what direction I want to take it, but after losing the original sketches I have taken physic damage. It's really hard to start things over from scratch 🥲

I'm not going to abandon the AU or anything, I'm just building my motivation back up. The next few pages are mostly sketched out, so it's just a matter of getting back to them.

[diana-bluewolf]

On one surprisingly sunny November day, a young Merlin lands graciously on a tree not too far from where Chris and Misha are walking. It tilts its head while it observes the wizard and gives a few chattering calls before taking off again, something bright red tied to one of its legs. The presence of the wolf agitates the falcon a little, so it chooses not to land on the ground but instead on a branch of another nearby tree, high enough for the boy to reach but with plenty of distance to take off if the lupus decides to strike.

The object tied to Merlin's leg is an origami piece of an animal that easily comes off when touched, allowing the bird to leave. Upon closer inspection, it is a paper wolf that stirs on Chris' palms, stands on its wobbly paper feet and raises its head high up. Even without the sound it is clear that it is howling. Then, suddenly, the paper unfolds itself, revealing a letter.

Dear Chris, I can't believe we've known each other for so long already. We took a winding path towards becoming friends. It is still a little wild to me that you felt like I ever needed anything in return other than your genuine company. I know, we've talked about it, and I really should've seen it sooner. Will often says that I don't see things right under my nose. But I still want you to know that I'll never require anything from you in return for a chocolate frog or homework or a friendly chat. You are my friend. Anything you need — I'll never say no. I am unsure where to find you as we live in different dorms, but wherever you are right now, I wish you a Happy Birthday, from my whole heart. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to enjoy every day of your life. You deserve companionship (and I mean human, too, not just Misha's!) Perhaps I'll catch you at dinner? I think William got you some yummy goodies earlier today (I probably should not have said that), so don't fill your tummy up all the way! Happy Birthday, dear friend! Your shiny unicorn, Elland 🌙

Aww, it’s such a cute ask! Therefore, ahem…

TW↓: obscene language 🤨😁

"Merlin, why does he have to be so embarrassing?" muttered Chris after running his eyes over the letter. He was sitting on a large mossy rock with his leg tucked under him.  

"Have you ever felt that it's just…ugh… almost painful to read something?" he addressed Misha, who was stretching lazily beside him.

Misha didn't answer. Well, he tended to do that - not bothering to reply. Chris didn't blame him since he often was the same.

"Well, I guess the inability to read can solve this, can't it?" Chris smiled and petted Misha's ear.

"What I mean is all this… "deserving" stuff. Why wouldn't he just insult me? That would be much easier and fun to read. Like, I don't know, happy birthday, you prick? Bring your ass here, or I'll eat all the goodies, and then William? Not that I would care about the latter, but at least it would be fun. And this," Chris waved the letter in the air, "this is pure torture."

Chris sighed and made himself reread the letter, this time trying not to skip everything that started with “you deserve”. He was positively unbearable sometimes. Elland, that is. 

Maybe that’s why Chris was so glad to see his falcon today?

“Look, look,” Chris nudged Misha, pointing at the your shiny unicorn line. “He’s trying to joke here.” 

Misha looked at the parchment. The parchment wasn’t edible and hence wasn’t a feature of interest.

“Oh, don’t worry, mate, I didn’t get it, either,” Chris assured Misha. He then glanced at the letter again. 

“He’s a weirdo. Elland.” Chris smiled warmly. “But…have you ever met wolves that were not as bad as other wolves? Because I have. Quite a few, actually. Well, not wolves, people, and that makes it even stranger. I have only one explanation for this - it’s Hogwarts. And if so,” Chris grabbed his bag and fished out ink and a quill, “I freaking love magic.”

See you at dinner. Bring the goodies. You can leave the prefect where he is.

Chris smirked, aware that Will would probably read it anyway. Well, no one asked him peeking at Elland's correspondence.

Your grumpy dugbog, Chris. P.S. Those guys look peculiar as friends, don't they?

P.P.S. Thank you.

Chris shoved the letter into the bag and jumped to his feet. 

“My shiny unicorn is waiting,” he explained to Misha, who enthusiastically followed him on his way out of the forest. 

“I need to send an owl first and grab those pasties I bought for Will in Honeydukes. You see, Monsieur Tangerine, in addition to all his flaws, is a gourmet, and we often have differences of opinion on the matter of taste. But this time, I’m sure even he will like it!”

It was a surprisingly sunny November day.