#writing this at dawn because a coughing fit pissed me off

[pastawayallday]

Pastaway status update: I'm going to be 23 in a few days and somehow my mind is filled with ni nja turtles, as a treat.

I've been coughing non-stop for two weeks now, send help. I sound like a Victorian child coming home from their 16 hours shift.

The Firefight fanart is doing NUMBERS holy shiet thank you.

The Rottmnt fic now sits at 10k, first chapter of two almost done. Fun fact my therapist wanted to read it and I still can't wrap my mind around the fact I fed him a freaking Rottmnt fic and he genuinely liked it.

Only two months of animation school left and somehow I'm so behind with everything it's unreal. I might start panicking.

I have things to do but Kate Bush every now and then defrosts and comes back into my life with 20 years old banger songs. The voices made me sketch a fucking spread about rottmnt bad future/Donnie's death.

I don't have time for hyperfixations rn can someone tell the purple autistic turtle to fuck off please.

[scullysexual]

Gone

If you’ve ever watched Dark (the German show on Netflix) it’s very similar to that. I started watching it and this popped into my head. I can also throw it onto the never ending list of college aus I keep writing. I’ll be some time before the next chapter is posted but I just wanted to see what you made of this.

Chapter One: Goodbye.

The dreams are always the same; a bright light, my sister shouting for me. And there’s somebody standing at the door. I can’t move. I reach for the gun but I can’t shoot. I’m just frozen…like I’m paralysed or something.

The cassette player clicks, the tape pausing. Mulder stares at it. Dr Montague sighs.

“That was recorded a year ago,” the therapist says, looking down at his notes. “After your hypnosis treatment.”

Mulder silently nods, not looking away from the player.

“Are you still having those dreams?”

Mulder turns away from the player, his eyes to the carpeted floor.

Montague looks up at his lack of response.

“I need you to talk to me, Fox,” he coaxes, a slight harshness to his voice. “You need to tell me if you’re still having these dreams.”

Mulder sighs and nods quickly.

“Right.” Montague looks down at his notes again. “And it also says that you were suffering from Insomnia, is that right?”

Mulder nods again. “Guess I didn’t want to have the dreams,” he shrugs.

“And Dr Werber prescribed you with sleeping pills. Have they helped?”

Mulder shakes his head. “With the sleeping yeah, not much with the dreams.”

“Okay.” The doctor scribbles something down in his book. “Well, we’ll review what we’ve spoken about today and I’ll get back to you on how to go forward.”

Mulder nods, wanting nothing more than for this session to be over with.

“I think that about wraps up today’s session then.” Mulder reaches for this bag, quicker than what is probably polite. Dr Montague doesn’t miss it. “I will see you next week, Fox?” he asks.

Mulder nods, already heading towards the door and out.

He runs down the steps of the office buildings, the fresh air a welcome reprieve from two hours in a stuffy office. He unlocks his bike, yanking it from the bike stand, and climbs on. He rides towards the forest, away from the city and the people, and the normalcy they had been able to continue on with during his absence.

A year gone and it was like everything was the same as it was before.

But no, it wasn’t, because just like his sister, another kid was missing.

 .:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

 There’s whispers all around him.

Some people gawk at him as they walk past, others mutter to their friends. He picks up words like Spooky, Freak. Catches sentences as they fly past him; I heard he said his sister was abducted by aliens, Someone told me she was kidnapped by that guy who was selling vacuums, I was told she ran away. Mulder keeps his head down, remaining quiet.

That’s what everyone told him to do; his therapist, his teachers, his parents. Keep your head down, ignore them, don’t retaliate. It’s difficult, he wants to shake them off, knock a few of them around the head. He clenches his fist instead.

They said school was going to be the hardest part of adjusting back.

The latecomers hurry through the gate. Mulder is just about to turn and follow them inside when a body jumps him from behind.

His body smacks into the grass, the window being knocked out of him. The other body quickly moves off him as Mulder raises up onto his hands and knees, coughing over and over towards the ground, feeling like he’s about to cough his guts up.

“Whoa, dude…” a familiar voice says. “You’re guard must be way down today if you let that happen.”

Mulder finishes his coughing fit, standing as Ethan, his best friend (his one and only friend, actually) looks on concerned.

“I’m fine,” he says, getting a few last coughs out.

“Sure,” says Ethan, though he’s still not looking convinced. “I’ll be more careful next time.”

 They find their seats easily: back row in the corner. Mulder hooks his bag onto the back of his chair and sits himself down.

“Have I missed much, then?”

Ethan pulls a face as if to say no. “Not really. Oh, another kid went missing, but other than that, everything’s been pretty much quiet in Dullsville.”

Mulder smiles at the town nickname. “I saw the missing posts all over town.”

Ethan shrugs, “Who cares? Kid has a weirdo anyway, sprouting all that whacky shit about aliens in the corner. Who’d believe all that?”

Mulder turns away, suddenly uninterested in the conversation anymore. Whacky shit, yeah.

Ethan notices and realises. “Dude, I’m sorry. You know I don’t think that way about you.”

Mulder shakes his head, shaking him off. “It’s fine,” he says.

It wasn’t fine, though. All those things Duane Barry would continuously say may have seemed insane at the beginning but maybe there was some truth in it after all.

Mulder looks over to the door, to where the rest of the class filters in. His stomach tingles when he catches sight of curly red hair sat beneath a black beanie. They make eye contact and she smiles- almost as if she’s as happy to see him as he is of her- he smiles back, giving her a little wave, one she returns.

He turns back to Ethan, who now has a big smile plastered across his face.

“I didn’t think Scully would still be here,” he says.

“Dana?” The smile turns into a grin as Ethan leans back against the wall. “Guess she’s got a thing or two to stick around for now.” Scully looks back over to them and Ethan blows a kiss towards her. She turns around, rolling her eyes.

It suddenly dawns on Mulder just what Ethan meant. His stomach drops as he looks towards his friend.

“You and Scul…Dana?” he asks, almost unsure.

The grin still across his face, Ethan nods. “Guess a lot of things have changed after all.”

He turns back to Scully trying not to feel so disappointed at it all.

“You know, we’ve been thinking…” Ethan says and Mulder turns his attention back to him. “We’re gonna go to the Wishing Well, see if we can find Barry’s stuff.”

Mulder stares at him like he’s supposed to know what that means.

Ethan sighs and rolls his eyes. “You know, his stuff. His drugs and that. Pretty certain his stash is at the Wishing Well.”

Mulder thinks it over and nods. “What time?”

 .:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

 He sits on a log, waiting, his bike lying on the ground beside him. Above the trees, he sees the sun about to set, half the sky cast in a light purple-orange paint. Is his sister really up there? He’s starting to doubt himself.

“Ethan not here yet?”

Mulder turns around and smiles as Scully walks towards him. He shakes his head, standing.

“Typical,” Scully says, looking up to the sky and back down again. “He’d be late to his own funeral.” Mulder laughs as Scully spins around. “Charlie, keep up!”

Mulder looks behind her to see Charlie Scully walking towards them. He gives a confused look towards Scully.

“He begged to come,” she says as a way of explanation. “Not that I had much of a choice,” turning to Charlie and giving him daggers. She looks back at Mulder. “He said he’d snitch if I didn’t take him.”

“And I want a quarter of whatever you find,” Charlie adds.

“If we even find anything. For all we know this stuff could’ve been cleared out already.”

Mulder stares at her. All day he’s been wanting the chance to speak to her, since that first class when he found out she and Ethan were…something. It had been eating him up all day. He’d hoped, he’d really hoped.

Guess like most of his hopes, they’d all end in disappointment.

“Scully, I-“

“How are you-“

Mulder laughs nervously, Scully pursues her lips together.

“You start,” he says.

“How are you?”

“I’m good,” he nods. “It’s weird being back but yeah, it’s not been too bad.”

Scully nods, a slight smile across her face.

“You?” he asks.

“Okay. I’m been good.”

He nods back. A silence passes over them.

“You know, it was really strange you being gone,” she says, almost shyly.

Mulder looks to the ground, his hands in his pockets. “Couldn’t have been that strange,” he mutters but it’s quiet in the forest and so she hears it regardless.

He glances a look at her, sees her walls going up around her. Can almost imagine her tongue pressing hard against the back of her teeth, her chin lifting and her blue eyes turning to ice.

“You were gone, Mulder,” she answers, all warmth and friendliness gone from her voice. “I wasn’t gonna sit on your doorstep waiting for you.”

He lifts his head up fully, his own eyes turning to steel. “You didn’t have to get with my best friend, though.”

Yeah, that’s good. Make her hurt, too.

There’s a crack in her resolve. A break in her wall. It’s her turn to look away.

Good.

“What are you two just standing there for? Let’s go!” They hear Ethan shout just away from them. He strides up, clocking Charlie on the back of the head as he does so. “Why you bring the Shrimp?” He turns back to Charlie. “Is it not past your bedtime?”

“Fuck off,” Charlie says, swatting Ethan’s hand away when he goes to hit him again.

“I said he could come,” says Scully, turning away from the group and beginning to walk ahead.

“What’s up with her?” Ethan asks Mulder.

Mulder shrugs, not about to get into his and Dana’s conversation. The two start following her, Charlie walking behind them and rubbing his sore head.

“And I want more than a quarter of what you find!”

“Piss off,” says Ethan.

The Wishing Well had been the centrepiece of the forest. When they were younger, it had been a happy place, well looked after by the people of the town. It was a working well, once. Water in it every day, changed regularly, too. They’d throw their pennies in, making wishes, hoping they would come true.

As time went on, the well became overgrown. People stopped caring, kids stopped coming, they even stopped changing the water. Spider webs, wasps nest, ant hills became its inhabitants. The area was overgrown with grass, wildflowers, poisonous mushrooms. It became a place where teenagers would hang about. Nobody ever came here so nobody ever bothered them.

“Where is it then?” Mulder hears Charlie say.

“Bet it’s not even here anymore,” Scully says, annoyance clear in her voice.

“It’s just under the grass,” Ethan says. He walks over to a heavily grassy bit, removes a handful of moss but stops short when he realises that it isn’t there.

“Told you,” Scully says, looking away.

“Looking for this?”

They all turn as Phoebe Green appears out of nowhere, holding Ethan’s prize.

“That’s not yours,” Ethan says, stalking towards her.

Phoebe is quick and tall- taller than Ethan- and holds it above her head, out of his reach.

“It’s not yours, either,” she says. “Finders keepers.”

“Yeah,” says Ethan. What he lacks in height, he makes up for in body mass. He pushes Phoebe, she trips and falls, her head smacking against the wall of the well, dropping the bag of weed. Ethan scoops it up, proudly. “Finders keepers.”

Mulder stands there, unsure of to do.

“You fucking dick, Ethan,” Scully scolds. She walks towards Phoebe and kneels down. “Are you okay?”

Phoebe whacks Scully’s hand out of the way. “I’m fine, I don’t need your help.” She pushes herself off the ground, wipes her hands on her jeans. “Dickhead,” she calls to Ethan.

“Bitch,” Ethan casually calls back. He’s just about to open the bag when a growl emits from around them.

Fear runs through Mulder’s body, a chill up his spine. Phoebe and Scully back away from the well.

“What the fuck was that?” Ethan asks.

“Probably a bear,” says Scully, shaking her own fear away.

The growl happens again, vibrating through the ground. Leaves shake and stones tumble about before it stops.

Charlie looks over, his face white. “I don’t think that was a bear.”

Mulder stares at the well. “I…I think it came from the well.”

Scully lets out an exasperated sigh. “I’m telling you, it was a bear!”

A loud thud sounds from behind him. Mulder jumps back, shaking and genuinely scared as he shines his flashlight upon the sound of the thud.

“I don’t think we’re alone,” Phoebe says.

“Guys, there’s something in the well…” Charlie mumbles.

There’s a sudden downpour of rain, the sky darkening. Thuds and rustles and the growling sound happens again.

Mulder’s body propels him forward, he doesn’t even remember choosing to run, his feet just move.

He can hear the others behind him but he’s solely focused upon himself; running and running and running.

Until he freezes, his body falling onto the hard ground, chin smacking against a rock in the process.

A blinding white light forces his eyes closed. In the distance, he hears shouting. A name. Over and over.

Dana! Dana! Dana!

The light goes. He can move again. He hears a shout of Charlie! as the rain continues to pour down him.

[djbanana1]

His Little Problem

Joker x Reader

One Shot (but might make a second part)

Description: The Joker's been stuck at Arkham Asylum for months, unable to break out no matter what he tries and it all leads back to her. The new guard at Arkham Asylum might just give Joker a challenge. 

Warning: Mention of death and near death experience (probably isn’t even a warning because its not that bad in this story...) Also I’m sorta new to writing fanfics so sorry for mistakes and/or if the story doesn't run smoothly. 

The Joker leaned back on the old mat in the corner of his cell. Two guards stood guard down the hall as their idle chatter filled the air. The guards were getting more cocky than usual, forgetting how Joker was the King of Gotham and not just some patient. It’s not like they’ve treated him like a King whenever he was in Arkham Asylum but this time they’re acting even bolder. Joker couldn’t wait to teach them a lesson when he escaped.

If he escaped.                        

It was going on ten months being holed up in this hell hole, longer than he’d ever been there. He was finding it near impossible to escape. All of his problems led to her. F/n, L/n. She was a new guard at Arkham Asylum. Well, at least new to him since she was hired between the last time he escaped and now.

At first he had enjoyed picking on and flirting with her. Female guards weren’t that common so he had to have some fun. She even dressed differently than the other guards, she lacked all the protective gear except when a situation called for it. It’s like she was begging to be beat on. That was until he learned his lesson and boy did he learn fast. She wasn’t your average female, oh no. She was smart in the most annoying way possible. Arkham Asylum was finally gaining some brains by hiring her.

What made her different from the other guards? Evolution.

She wasn’t like the other cocky guards that lacked a brain. He’d have to admit she was something else. And that something else was costing him big time. All the money and business he was losing while cooped in here along with what little sanity he had.

Soft clacking down the hall alerted the Joker of his little problem. Sitting up in time to see f/n step in front of his cell. She was wearing her typical guard outfit. She wore tight white skinny jeans with her black combat boots. She had the stereotypical guard vest on with the long black sleeves rolled up a quarter of the way. Her black helmet strap was hooked on her belt loop hanging lazily by her side.

The first time he saw her dressed like that he laughed. What were they thinking sending a little girl into his cell all alone? It’s like they were insulting him but he didn’t mind since it would be an easy escape. When he tried to get the upper hand she surprised him. She may not look it but she was strong. Definitely not stronger than him but she used her agility to her advantage. It’s like she knew what he was going to do before he even knew.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t my little problem.” Joker spoke up.

“Hello to you too, Joker.” She answered as she busied herself with unlocking the door. A satisfying click alerted them the door was unlocked. Shoving the door open carelessly she waltzed on in holding the straight jacket by her side. “You ready to see Dr. Talia?” She asked as she stopped in front of him motioning with her finger for him to turn around. With a quick motion he aimed a swing at her arm but f/n was quicker as she grabbed him under his forearm turning him around using the momentum from his swing.

“Ah, my little problem. I was just testing your reflexes today, nothing serious. And I thought I told you to call me Mr. J.” Ignoring him she slipped the straight jacket on and buckled the straps so it was as comfortable as it could get without being too loose. Spinning him around to face her she replied.

“I’ll call you that when you stop calling me your little problem.” She started leading him into the hallway by the arm. The Joker walked alongside her eyeing her looking for any faults he could use to his advantage. “Alright, fine. Just for today I won’t call you that… doll.”

Looking to him feigning a horrified expression she gasped. “That’s worse! Never mind you can call me your little problem just not your doll.” She chided him as they were nearing the end of the hallway. “Too late.” Joker sing-songed as they passed the two guards.

“Look at the lunatic. He thinks he’s so tough.” Laughed guard one.

“I bet I could take him on with one hand tied behind my back.” Guard two joined in boasting.

J fixated his eyes on the two guards, memorizing them for later. Narrowing his eyes at them he continued on forward alongside f/n. This was all because of her. She made everyone here feel safe. It irritated him when he couldn’t inflict the fear he loved seeing.

“I wouldn’t’ be talking if I were you two. I saw you two cry the day Joker first arrived.” F/n threw over her shoulder nonchalantly. “Ha Ha Ha! It’s alright boys, you can come cuddle with me later if you want.” Joker giddily mocked.

They quickly arrived at the shrink’s room where he’s supposed to be cured. F/n walked him to his chair before giving him a few pats on the head. “Be good for Miss Talia! I’ll bring a chocolate chip cookie for you later if you are.” She made her way to the door before throwing over her shoulder. “By the way, I love your fluffy hair. I might have to start calling you fluffy Mr. J!” She giggled before fleeing the room

“I’ll see you later doll.” Joker winked at the door, hiding his irritation, even though she was gone. The doc in front of him started to cough nervously before going on with her boring spiel. The doc sounded like a broken recorder as she tried to push her values of society onto him. Joker went into his own world as he thought of some new plans for escaping. Hopefully f/n wouldn’t sniff them out like all the other attempts. Although if he was honest, he was having some fun with this.

Flash backs~

***

“Hey J! Looks like I get to bring you back to your cell today. Jack wasn’t feeling well.”

“As long as I get to walk behind you so I can enjoy the view.” J purred out suggestively. F/n smiled back at him before slowly sauntering up to him. She threw her left leg over him so she was straddling him. She slowly began moving her fingers into his straight jacket brushing her fingers gently against it. “Oh, doll. I didn’t peg you as that type of person but I’ll gladly accept.” Of course he thought he was possibly getting somewhere with her. Maybe an easy ticket out of Arkham. Some good old flirting and she’d be wrapped around his finger. He purred as she moved her hands more roughly until she halted, retreating her hands. Standing up she swung her leg back to her side before starting to walk towards the door.

“I’m flattered by your compliments. Thank you!” She turned around winking as she twirled the key around her finger he had stuffed into his straight jacket. Realization dawned on him as he growled out in frustration.

***

J was sitting in his cell waiting impatiently. Today was the day he was going to break out. He had several of his goons slowly taking out random Arkham guards and taking their place. Laughing at how stupid Arkham was to not even recognize their own employees. How gullible could they get? One of his goons had dropped by informing him they would be ready soon. He could just feel all the blood that was about to be shed. He would start with those two guards that dared mock him.

After an hour he became restless as he couldn’t hear anything. No screams of agony, no panic, no emergency alarms. Nothing. A slam on the window startled him as he looked up to the glass wall. Standing there was f/n. But what really pissed off J was all the name tags she was holding and that damn smile on her face.

“Sorry! I don’t know if anyone ever told you this but no sleep overs allowed. Of course unless it’s with one of us guards then that would be fine! So anyways, I had to escort all your friends out. Geez, I didn’t know you were so popular.” She smirked as she waved at him before skipping off down the hall way.

“You you you… pain in the ass.” J muttered before falling back onto his cot debating on what his next move would be.

***

This time he knew he would get out, no doubt about it. He had Frosty boy as his lawyer. Cackling he still couldn’t believe how easy it was to discuss his escape plans in the very facility he was going to demolish. The plan was for Frost to blow up the Wast wing of the building as a distraction before blowing a small portion of the East wall. He’d love to see f/n stop this plan. Sitting back he waited for the plan to unfold.

By dinner time when no one came with food he knew his plan was in motion. He waited for Frost or one of his funny dressed goons to appear. Neither of those appeared but instead a person in all black appeared. Quite literally.

They approached the glass wall before coughing and wheezing a bit. When they were done with their coughing fit they wiped at their face but it didn’t help much. Joker got a better look and realized the person was covered in rubble dust. Which means the West wing was a success. Throwing his head back he let out a throaty cackle before the person on the other side started joining him. The other person had a feminine voice that sounded an awful lot like f/n. Snapping his head up he looked at her.

“My little problem. Why are you so dirty?” He eyed her suspiciously. If it had been anyone else he wouldn’t have been worried but this was f/n we were talking about.

“You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you. Your little friends must really miss you because they tried exploding the West and East walls. Good thing I saw them burying those explosives earlier so I reburied them by the shed out back. I had to wait all day for them to come back before escorting them out. As to why I’m so dirty, I kinda got too close to the explosion.” She huffed out before having another coughing fit.

“Figures.” J growled out while rolling his eyes.

“You know this is going to take me forever and a half before it washes off!” She puffed her cheeks out while folding her arms.

“I can help you if you want. I’m pretty good at getting all the nitty gritty stuff off considering how dirty my business meetings can get. All you gotta do is let me out.” He grinned like a Cheshire cat.

“No waaaay.” f/n exclaimed before storming off.

“It was worth a shot. See you tomorrow my lil problem!” He hollered after her.

***

End of Flash backs~

Dr. Talia kept drawling on and on, grinding on J’s nerves. Joker looked her up and down, sizing her up. He had figured out all her little quirks so easily. How boring. He had so many new docs he’d lost count. Dr. Talia started working with him a few weeks ago. He watched as she nervously pushed her glasses up while reading over her scribbled notes. Smiling widely, J just got his new idea for escaping. He would sweet talk the Doc into falling in love with him. It was so easy to twist girls like Talia around his finger. Just a few sweet words and she’d be his. No way would f/n see this coming.

“Hey Doc.”

“Y-y-es?” She stammered out.

“You know you have really pretty eyes.” He tipped his head to the side looking up at her like a little kid.

“R-really? I always think they’re so dull especially with my glasses. No one’s ever complimented me on my eyes before.” She nervously pushed her glasses up even more.

“They must be blind than because all I see is a lovely lady.” He began smiling slowly. Some girls were just too easy to read.

“Thank you!” She blushed as she bowed her head finding her feet interesting.

“You need to be treated like a princess. I’d be able to do that, if you were my girl that is.” He questioned testing the waters.

“You would? I mean yeah that'd be nice.” She stammered out.

“There’s just one thing I need you to do for me.”

“Yes?”

“I need a machine gun.” He looked at her with a serious look.

Before Talia could reply f/n burst through the door. J growled at his luck as he stared down f/n. There was no way she could have heard them through that door so what was she doing here? The session wasn’t up yet.

“Talia! You would never believe this but I have the best news for you!” f/n replied while she galloped up next to Talia. She stepped excitedly from foot to foot as she waited.

“What is it?” Talia asked with a smile at f/n's excitement.

J rolled his eyes at the girlish behavior in front of him. What happened next though had J’s jaw hanging open. F/n leaned down planting a kiss on Talia’s lips for a good few seconds before pulling back.

“Susie wanted me to tell you that’s from her. She’s waiting down stairs for you.” F/n winked at Talia as she quickly stood up heading for the door. As soon as she left f/n sat down in Talia’s chair resting her chin in her hands as her elbows rested on the table.

“That was a smart plan you had there J. The only flaw was Talia already has a crush on Susie. But she thought she wasn’t into girls so she was trying to move on. It would have been funny though. You would have used her and she would have used you. Oh well, looks like you lucked out this time.” F/n spoke before yawning and stretching back in the chair.

“When I get out of here. I’m gonna have so much fun with you. I don’t even know where to start.” His face darkened considerably as he eyed f/n. Sitting back up, f/n smiled right back at him.

“By the looks of things. You’re not getting out anytime soon. But I look forward to your many future attempts!” She beamed back.

Sighing J replied. “Did you at least bring my cookie?” Laughing she stood up before walking towards the door.

“I sure did! It’s waiting back in your cell. Unfortunately I have an appointment so I can’t bring you there today. Bob is going to but don’t worry. I talked to him about beating up the patients so he shouldn’t touch you! If he does just tell me!” With that she skipped on out with J staring at her retreating form.

***

Joker paced the inside of his cell. It had been a whole week since the day f/n had her appointment. It had been a whole week since she had come to work. To be honest, he should be thrilled because it was the perfect opportunity to escape. But another side of him was kind of missing her annoying self. She was the only decent guard minus her annoying habit of thwarting his plans. He didn’t want to admit it but he missed his little problem.

A guard brought J out of his internal reverie as he slid a tray into his cell. The food looked unappetizing as he stared at the unnatural colors. F/n had made sure he had actual edible food when she was here.

Growling out he asked the guard. “Hey, where is f/n?”

“F/n? Awe, does the big bad wolf miss his whittle guard?” He provoked.

“I wouldn’t be talking like that if I were you. You never know what might be lurking around the corner.” J smiled back.

Visibly shivering the guard tried to put on a brave front. “Whatever. I’m not supposed to say since its private matters. But on her way to her appointment she was in a car accident. It was pretty bad from what I heard. She’s been in critical condition ever since.” Before J could reply a huge smashing sound was heard as a big ball crashed into the guard sending him flying down the hall.

The wrecking ball swung a few times before it finally settled. Joker’s goons came storming in shortly after dressed in all sorts of bizarre outfits. Waving his fingers J waved them on towards the main body of the Asylum. Without a word they all went onward looking for any employees they could wreak havoc on.

“Boss. Aren’t you going to join them?”  Frost questioned as he opened up the cell.

“No, not this time. Frosty, were going on a little field trip.” He grabbed his purple jacket from Frost’s extended hand before swinging it over his shoulders as he walked through the hole in the wall.

***

(Your P.O.V)

You were currently holding a cup of red jell-o as you watched it jiggle with every small movement you made. You really weren’t in the mood to eat. Sighing dejectedly you set it back on the tray in front of you. You were just transferred into a new hospital room. After going through several surgeries you were finally on the track to getting better.

You scoffed at the horribly bad luck you had. You were on your way to the appointment when someone was going too fast smashing into your rear end sending you spiraling into the other lane. May you add you were both going about 60 mph. From there someone else hit you before you rolled off the side of the hill. It was very terrifying and by the time your vehicle was still, you’d lost consciousness. You’d apparently flat lined once before they got you into surgery. When it looked like you were a lost cause things took a turn for the better. So here you were a week later in the recovery wing of the hospital. Nurses were constantly checking on you to make sure you were doing ok.

You felt bad for all the trouble you were causing everyone. It looks like you really were a little problem. Speaking of a little problem the Joker was probably going to escape soon. Even if you were discharged in the next few days you wouldn’t be able to go back to work. You looked down at your bandaged torso. The nurses had to apply ointment, clean and re-bandage it at least twice a day. Like that wasn’t bad enough, you had broken your left leg. It was in a cast that ended high up your thigh. It didn’t exactly look charming. You wouldn’t be able to perform your job in your current condition, you'd need a lot of recovery time.

Bored out of your mind you reach for the remote on the side table. Your IV got in the way so you had to readjust it. You turned the TV on but regretted it the moment you did. The flashing headline didn’t cause you much comfort. “The Joker escaped Arkham Asylum roughly one hour ago using a wrecking ball. His henchman have wreaked havoc on the employees and not many survivors are left. Stay tuned as we find out more!” The news reporter was standing outside the asylum. It didn’t look to be in good shape.

You feel slightly panicked. He’d definitely come after you; all the times he promised he would the moment he got out. To make things worse you were in no position to defend yourself. You were like a sitting duck waiting for the predator. You couldn’t just get up and leave! You couldn’t even use crutches right now because of your torso. An alarm goes off startling you. Within a few seconds a bunch of nurses came running in.

“F/n!” Nurse one came rushing to your side. “You need to calm down, your heart rate is too high!” She quickly scrambled to grab a shot as she filled it up with some kind of liquid. “Will you turn that TV off Carla! It isn’t helping her!” She took the needle injecting it into your IV. “Now F/n, this will help you feel better. Just relax.” Before you knew it, you were fast asleep.

***

Blinking a few times you groggily open your eyes. It takes a few moments for your vision to clear. The lights are dimmed in the room. In your disorientated state it takes you a bit to remember you’re in the hospital. Wondering what time it is you look at the clock. It was 2 in the morning. You must have been asleep for at least eight hour. You rest your head back as you contemplate what to do. You guess fate would take its course and if it was time to die by J’s hands then so be it. Although you’d at least fight till the bitter end. You could just hope for a sweet quick death and not one of those horror story deaths he’s so famous for. You feel slightly angered when you think about it. You treated him well when he was in the Asylum. Just because you didn’t let him escape doesn’t mean you were bad. That was your job!

Sighing you decide it would be best to stop thinking about it. Who knows, he might not even come for you. That was just friendly banter between you two. He probably had a lot of things to catch up on and you weren’t even that important anyways. Feeling a little more at ease you go to press the nurse button. You were feeling hungry. Just as your finger was hovering over the button an alarm went off casting the hallway in red lights.

You feel your heart drop as you hear several people yelling orders out. The nurses were frantically trying to get patients out of the rooms near you. You nervously wait for them to come to your room. It’s not like everyone was evacuating because of the Joker. It could be a fire or something else you tried reasoning. As you waited for someone to come into your room the alarms suddenly stopped. It was really quite. Too quite.

You focused intently on the door waiting for any sign of life. Several footsteps could be heard coming down the hall. Feeling slightly relieved you relax a little. That is until you see who came into your room. Mr. J walked into your room wearing his famous purple jacket. He had on stripped blue and yellow shorts with batman leggings underneath. He looked so much more intimidating than he did with his straight jacket. He stopped at the foot of your bed as a man in a fancy suit and a few nurses followed him into the room. You made eye contact with him as he stared you down. You probably looked really pathetic with your hospital gown on with an IV stuck in your arm and a cast on your leg. Your hair was a mess and you looked very tired. You didn’t even have a bra on underneath the gown, just a pair of underwear.

“Looks like you didn’t waste any time escaping.” You give your signature bubbly smirk hiding the unease you felt. Even though he was here to kill you, you had to admit you still felt you had a friendly rivalry going on. He didn’t speak as he looked you over with his eyes. You felt even smaller as he continued to eye you down with a serious intense look. How embarrassing. “Doll, you don’t look so well.” He slowly made his way to your side before he bent over to your level. He slowly extended his hand towards your face before putting a strand of hair behind your ear. “So what? You gonna kill me Mr. J?” You timidly asked, your nerves were just about at their end.

“Kill you? Oh no no on. I’m not gonna kill you.” He stood back up before motioning to the nurse. She nervously made her way over to you before taking your IV out and patching you up. Once she was done she quickly got out of the way. J came back to your side putting his arm underneath your legs and using his other arm to support your back as he lifted you off the bed. The cold air greeted your open back immediately as your gown was open in the back. Your face grew red as you realized how pathetic you looked. “Frost. Get all the things f/n needs from the nurse, will ya?” He then began walking out of the room with you in his arms. He carried you with care, mindful of your torso and leg. He was treating you like some kind of porcelain doll.

“J-J? What are you doing?” You asked in shock, eyeing him with big round (e/c) eyes. Looking down at you he smiles, flashing his silver grill. “Isn’t it obvious? I’ve come to get my little problem.”

[blogkeenstudenttiger]

Day 3 9/6/18

Society/Economic/Cultural

Woke up late this morning and consumed a nice ride on public transit, just in time. I complain a lot about transport, and it was compounded by my trip home today. The Westbound 3 line is how I get home from school, but it was a 30 minute wait; therefore, by simply walking the few miles home, I would arrive sooner. I was pretty pissed off; why even get a bus pass if it isn’t making life any more convenient. The walk gave me some time to reflect. I live just over two miles away from McNeal and it takes around 45 minutes (if you walk slowly) to get from point A to B. While I was griping to myself on my walk home, it began to dawn on me how privileged I was acting. 2 miles isn’t very far and if it was truly such a big deal, the mode of transport does exist and is quite accessible. However, in so many places, that simply isn’t the case. The luxury of transport is something I take for granted quite frequently. I tried to remind myself of the many places I had been where I didn’t have the luxury of easy transport and would walk upwards of 20 miles per day, simply getting groceries and being outside. While I was simply a brief visitor in these places, the communities of people who live there experience and appreciate transport so much differently than we do. 

On top of the walk be quite brief, the weather outside today was absolutely fantastic. It sucks that I find myself inside so often, sucked into a consumption of the indoors. I actually long for the summers where my dad would lock me out of my house between the hours of 10 and 5; it seemed harsh at the time, but it made me really appreciate the outdoors. Now, it seems like all I do is spend time indoors. Another luxury and concept which is far different than much of the world and even other people in my very community. In Maslow’s Hierarchy, safety is the second level of basic needs, after psychological. Usually, safety is equated to a secure place/environment to live and inhabit. For me and many others, we actually get too MUCH of this basic need; mindlessly laying around indoors on beautiful days, accomplishing nothing other than another Netflix marathon. 

This level of the hierarchy is simply met by having a place to sleep and protect oneself from the harsh conditions of the outdoors; instead, for some (many?) it has become our entire world with accompanying online immersion. This prompted me to consider my consumption of the “indoors”. So, today I woke up in my bed (thankfully...), walked outside for sub 5 minutes and got on a bus. Rode the bus (which I would consider indoors). Walked 15 minutes to McNeal. Spent 8:20AM-6PM inside McNeal. Was “forced” to walk 40 minutes home. Spent the rest of the evening indoors (at least we had the windows open). So, if I go to bed around 12AM or so, In the past 17 hours, I will have spent about 1 hour outside. The other 16 hours (23 more accurately, if including sleep) inside. That is at MOST 6% of my day spent outside (nearly 75% of which was not by choice). 

When I think about how little time I spend outside (even though I usually enjoy the outdoors) it makes me wonder about how much it this fact influences our complete disregard for the environment. If you only experience/”do” something 6% of the time, can you really say it matters to you? If a person says they really care about their religion, but only go to ______ 6% of the time, do they really care? Social media seems to exacerbate this instance in the all too common “Instagood” outdoor scenes. I, like many others, am guilty of this sin. You go to a place, do the thing, and get a sick Insta post for all of your friends to be jelly of. Then, patting oneself on the back can commence as one retreats back inside. 

What I suppose I’m getting at, is that going outside becomes a spectacle. Like, seriously, doing something not indoors warrants praise and adornment? For so many people around the world, being outdoors is simply the way of life; which, I believe, changes the mindset of how one thinks about the outdoors. It becomes less of a “its nice when I want it” to “this is my environment, which I am a part of”. The wise idiom of, “don’t shit where you eat” comes to mind. Our disconnected world is clean and pristine, as we don’t associate our accumulating filth with where we live. However, in many places where decentralized waste (and the sheer ability TO waste) is not possible. If many other communities were to erode the world similar to how we do, the results would be much more immediate and affecting. 

However, a weird phenomenon is occurring. In developing countries (such as India) such waste and destruction is occurring and the facilities are not present. Therefore, the latter scenario is unfolding. Having spent time in different parts of India (in hostels and far from pampered) I have witnessed, firsthand, that humans are very much capable of eating where they shit. Now I am in NO way shaming or trying to “disapprove” or look down on India. It is simply an observation of the lengths people will go through to maintain a more “luxurious” lifestyle. 

It seems the escape from the outdoors/the disconnect from one’s environment is a rampant disease. It sucks. People suck. People suck (and by people I am most definitely including myself :)) and refuse to admit they suck. People suck and admit they suck, but don’t do anything to change it (that’s me!). We all fall victim to game theory (once again) and are all worst off. 

Solutions? A lot. Lots of hippy dippy environmental philosophers love to speak drearily of such things all day. However, one of my favorite solutions isn’t even someone’s smart thinking (well, I guess it is, but it isn’t really a solution, because it preceded the problem, so a “prelution” if you will). Hutterites. They were once (still are?) a community which found a nice solution to human sprawl and disgust (oh, and the tragedy of the commons and, kind of, corruption). Their communities were commune based and small. Once the community reached a certain size, a portion of the community relocated, as to preemptively resolve the issues which come with greater expansion. Mistreatment of land/resources/etc have an immediate effect on not only you, but the people you depend on to survive. Obviously everything comes with flaws, but it’s a nice gesture; and, they weren’t even trying to be pretentious and create some awesome argument, they were just living. 

Okay, another quick aside; I enjoy environmental philosophy because it has a weird cross-section of individuals. Obviously, all of them are philosophers, but you get the economic philosophers, the biocentric philosphers, and the non-biocentric philosophers. And sometimes the biocentric philosphers (if you can even call them that) are just hippys who are outrageous. One of whom, is Freya Matthews. She is an Aussie philosopher who has some “great” reads. She is really into panpsychism (belief all things have consciousness), so that should kind of tell you where she’s at. However, one of her papers talks about how the only solution to all of our ecological/environmental issues should be this: allow everything to be reclaimed by the earth. Everyone just stop doing the thing and do the nature thing instead. A few pages later you realize, wow, that’s it, huh? Yup, just leave your homes, cars, factories, roads, schools, stadiums and let the earth slowly reclaim it all. She doesn’t really give a good way to deal with the whole, pretty much everyone would die due to lack of food/shelter/medicine, etc. But, you know? I dig it. I don’t think it’s a solution, but more of an idealistic dream - like world peace. 

If you haven’t noticed, I enjoy these blogs way more than I should and just kind of barf my thoughts into text. I have always hated the idea of blogging/writing for the sake of writing (I hate my writing; but I hate most people’s writing, if I’m being fair), but now that I know someone else HAS to read it, it makes it  more bearable. Knowing there’s a reason above my own satisfaction is comforting. See, being the prick that I am, I feel as though I have turned the tables; instead of me resenting this writing exercise, I am thoroughly enjoying it. And, though I don’t assume you enjoy reading people’s *cough* *garbage* *cough* work, I feel better for it. See, this is the mindset I have developed after years of resenting the educational system and fitting into Mrs./Mr. _____’s little box to get the cookie. This is pretty ranty and probably pretty cringy.