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bokutosbiceps · 1 year ago

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Hello love! Hope all is well 😁 I'm not sure if you feel comfortable writing this, but a scenario where Midorima's gf is getting abused at home and she doesn't know how to tell him but maybe Takao assumes something is going on?

you’re safe with me

midorima shintarou x f!reader | angst + fluff | words

warnings: mentions of physical/psychological abuse, depression, anxiety, mild violence

a/n: this is the 2nd request i've gotten about abuse in like less than a week 😔 are y'all okay ? you can talk to me about anythingggg !! also,, this got really long + self indulgent, i hope you enjoy 💕

characters can be aged up to 18+ if reader is 18+, otherwise, no smut so minors feel free to interact

Kazunari wrung his fingers as he paced in his room, unsure of exactly what to do. He had just gotten off the phone with you. You, who were sobbing and telling Kazunari that your mother was after you again. After soothing you as best he could, he got you to open up and tell him what had happened.

You knew that your mother had taken a strong liking to Shintarou. She had said that he reminded her of your father back in the day, but now your father was gone and your mother was bitter. She couldn't stand to see you so happy when she was in so much pain. This, however, did not excuse her from treating you the way she did.

You had come home late after a night out with Shintarou and were feeling content. You explained that you had told your mother of your plans and she didn't seem to have any issues with it. She had actually told you to go have fun and stay out past your curfew if you wanted to. But when you got home, she was waiting up for you, furious. She immediately began to scream at you, telling you how inconsiderate you were, how you were a bitch, and how she wished she would have never given birth to such a bitch like you.

When you started to recount the physical abuse that your mother had imposed on you, Kazunari stopped you, unsure if he could stomach any more.

“Why don’t you tell Shin-chan what’s happening? Of course, I’m your friend and I care about you, but I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know. I know he would really appreciate knowing. He could probably help you more than I can.” Kazunari had said slowly, trying to make sure his best intentions came across.

He knew that Shintarou would be both hurt and furious to find out you’d been keeping this from him. It had been going on for far too long, anyways, to continue hiding this from him. He was your boyfriend and he loved you—so why did you feel so afraid to tell him?

You had sighed. “I really want to. But…I don't know. Part of me feels like I’m just complaining about it, and the other part of me feels like he wouldn't want to be involved with someone who has such an unstable family.” You sniffled. “I mean, you know, Kazu! The Midorima’s are practically perfect. Why would Shintarou want to be involved in my family drama?”

Kazunari didn't want to speak for Shintarou, so he didn't. He just told you that he thought you should tell him, solely because Shintarou cares about you more than anyone else. You had ended the phone call with a small chuckle, that had worried Kazunari, because why would you be laughing in a situation like this?

Now, he's seriously debating whether or not he should tell Shintarou what happened. He glanced at the time, one in the morning. No doubt, Shintarou would be in bed by now.

In an instant, acting on his impulse for your well being, Kazunari pressed the little phone icon next to Shintarou’s name. He tapped his foot impatiently while he listened to the monotonous ring, anxiously waiting for Shintarou to pick up. He didn't. So, he called again. And again. Four times he called, until an extremely annoyed Shintarou picked up.

“Takao, you better have a good reason for calling me four times at—” Shintarou brought the phone away from his ear to check the time, “one in the morning, nanodayo.”

“Shin-chan!” Kazunari felt his anxiety evaporate after finally getting a hold of him. It returned just as quickly though, once he realized the hardest part was not done yet. His tone got more serious. “I have to tell you something.”

The lack of the usual lilt in Kazunari’s voice made Shintarou straighten up. He'd only ever heard Kazunari be serious on a few occasions, so he knew this must be real. “Well, out with it.” Shintarou fidgeted with the hem of his nightshirt.

“It’s about y/n.” Kazunari sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “She…she's been having a hard time.” Shintarou’s silence signaled Kazunari to continue. He told Shintarou of how your mother had been beating you, shouting at you, and how you were afraid to tell him.

“Why wouldn't she tell me?” Shintarou’s soft voice startled Kazunari. He had never heard Shintarou’s tone reach that level of softness. He didn't even know it was possible.

“She believes that you wouldn't want to be involved in her family drama. I told her you care about her, but that's all I said. I think she needs to hear that from you.” Kazunari huffed. He felt better after he had looped Shintarou in on what was happening, but he still felt bad that he had gone against your wishes. It’s for her own good, though, he reasoned with himself.

A couple of seconds of silence followed. Kazunari got nervous. What was Shintarou thinking? How did he feel? Would he be mad at you and him for keeping these secrets?

After more silence, Shintarou finally spoke. “I’m going to go check on y/n.”

Kazunari’s eyes widened. He leapt up from where he was sitting on the floor of his room. “It’s almost two in the morning!”

“I won't be able to rest until I know she's okay.” Shintarou stood beside his bed and folded the sheets back over neatly. He walked over to his closet and pulled out joggers and a sweatshirt. He noticed his fingers were trembling.

“I understand that but shouldn't you deal with this after some rest?” Kazunari began to pace again.

“You're the one who decided to call me at one in the morning, nanodayo. Four times, I might add.” Shintarou quipped. Kazunari realized he was right and stayed silent, listening to the rustle of clothes as Shintarou got dressed.

“Sorry, Shin-chan. I just felt bad keeping it from you, and I was worried about y/n.”

Kazunari could hear the jingle of keys and shutting of doors. He heard the wind against the receiver of Shintarou’s phone, signifying he had made it outside.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Kazunari asked, breaking the tense silence.

“No, Takao, you’ve done enough.” Kazunari immediately felt bad. He'd probably ruined Shintarou’s night. He was about to apologize when Shintarou spoke up again. “Thank you.”

Kazunari smiled at his tsundere friend’s forced thanks. But he knew he meant it. He could tell. “You’re welcome, Shin-chan. Please let me know if y/n’s okay.”

Shintarou grunted in response and hung up so he could start running to your house. It wasn't that far, just a ten minute walk, so that would make it a four or five minute run, right? However, Shintarou felt like it took hours to reach your front door. He had never been so worried about anything in his whole life.

Images of you with bruises and cuts and a tear stained face flashed in his mind as he knocked on your front door. He shifted his weight from foot to foot as he waited. He raised his hand to knock again but was incredibly relieved when he heard the door being unlocked, then his uneasy feeling settled back into his stomach.

“Oh, Shintarou-chan!” Your mother beamed at him. “It’s pretty late, what are you doing here? An excellent young boy like you needs his rest.”

“I’m here to check on y/n.” Shintarou said, anger bubbling up inside of him. Seeing your mother standing there, acting like she hadn’t just ruined the beautiful night that you and him had just shared, made him furious. He tried to hide it, though, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“She’s sleeping, so I’m afraid you can’t see her right now.” Your mother’s eyes began to dart around nervously, hoping that Shintarou wouldn’t insist on seeing you. He’d see the redness and swelling of the cheek that she had slapped just hours earlier. He’d see the fresh, red cut from where your mother had dug her nails into your arm. He’d see your tear stained face.

“Please, I insist.” Shintarou bowed politely before pushing past your mother into your house. He had never blatantly respected his elders, but in this moment, he didn’t care. Your mother did not deserve any respect—she had hurt you. That was unforgivable.

Shintarou didn’t hear the protests and babbles of your mother as he made his way to your room and knocked on the door before deciding to just open the door. He couldn’t wait another second of not seeing you.

Your room was dark and you were in bed, turned on your side away from him. He could tell you were awake, though, because he could see your thumb scrolling on your phone and hear music overflowing from your headphones. He walked in and shut the door behind him, locking it, so that your mother couldn’t intrude. He could hear her wailing outside the door, but still decided to ignore it. What an unstable woman.

He approached your bed and lightly touched your shoulder, causing you to jump up and cower in fear. His heart ached at your reaction to being touched. You had never been like that with him, you must’ve thought that he was actually your mother coming back to harass you.

You relaxed once you realized it was your boyfriend. “Shin? What are you doing here?”

“I-I came to check on you.” Shintarou took a deep breath. “Takao told me everything.”

Your bottom lip wobbled as Shintarou told you everything that Kazunari had said. You weren’t mad at Kazunari at all, you were actually grateful that someone was able to tell Shintarou that you needed help. You didn’t want him to think you were weak, or a complainer. You collapsed to the floor in relief, sobs wracking your body.

Shintarou moved over to you and wrapped you up in his arms, gently bringing your head to rest on his shoulder and stroking your hair as you sobbed.

“You are so brave, love. I can understand why you didn’t want to tell me anything, but just know, I am always here for you. No matter what.” Shintarou let out a dry chuckle. “That’s why I’m here at two in the morning.”

You sniffled against Shintarou’s sweatshirt, muttering a small but sincere thank you. He just squeezed you tighter and held for a moment, letting you cry your heart out as much as you needed. But he desperately wanted to make sure you were okay.

“Can I see you?” Shintarou asked softly, using one of his hands to reach to your bedside lamp and turn it on. You hesitated but eventually backed away from his shoulder. Shintarou felt his breath get caught in his throat as he finally got a look at your face.

He saw a bruise forming over your right cheek, as well as a long and fresh cut along your neck. He clenched his jaw as even more rage welled up inside of him. He had never wanted to commit an act of violence against another human being, but your mother would have been an exception to him at the moment. He decided to focus back on you.

“Does it hurt?” Shintarou asked softly, reaching up to lightly graze your cheek. You winced a little bit, causing him to draw his hand back.

“Not anymore. Just kind of stings when you touch it.” You offered him a reassuring smile. Shintarou stared at you for another moment or two before abruptly standing up and moving to your closet, throwing it open.

“Pack what you need, you’re leaving this place.”

“What?” You stood to approach him and he turned to you, his face slightly red with adrenaline.

“You’re staying with me for a while.” Shintarou rummaged through your closet for a duffle bag or suitcase, and upon finding a small suitcase, brought it out and placed it on your bed.

“Shin, I can’t just leave!” You protested, watching as he opened the suitcase to prepare it to be filled.

“Yes, you can, nanodayo. You’re not safe here. Either you’re coming with me or I’m calling the authorities on your mother.”

Even though you know she’d deserve it, you didn’t want that for your mother. You sighed in defeat. You knew you couldn’t continue to take your mother’s abuse. Even if you were her daughter, you didn’t deserve this. You moved to the closet and began to take out some clothes that you wore often.

“We can go shopping for toiletries tomorrow, just clothes and underwear.” Shintarou instructed. Your hesitancy left your body as you continued to pack, feeling excited and relieved to finally be leaving this place for a while. Once you were packed, Shintarou unlocked your door and stepped out into the hallway, making sure that your mother was not around. Once he decided it was safe, he grabbed you by the hand and ran out of your house with you, not bothering to close the front door behind the two of you.

You both ran until you were down the street and around the corner, far enough away that your mother wouldn’t be able to see. You let go of Shintarou’s hand and stood still to catch your breath, leaning on Shintarou as he wrapped an arm around you.

You felt your eyes begin to well with tears again. You couldn’t believe that you had just run away. Even more, you couldn’t believe that your prim and proper boyfriend had just helped you. You dropped your suitcase and threw your arms around Shintarou’s neck, letting yourself cry into his shoulder once again.

“Thank you, Shin.” You choked out. “I love you.”

Shintarou smiled softly and held you firmly, certain that he would never let you go again. “Of course, y/n. You’re safe with me.”

#kuroko no basuke #knb #midorima shintarou #midorima shintarou x reader #midorima x reader #midorima #takao kazunari #takao

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 1 year ago

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tuesday again 11/28/2023

tuesday again no problem will be taking a break for the 12/12 edition (not next week but the one after)

listening

previously featured Os Mutantes, a countercultural brazilian rock group, is back bc i heard A Minha Menha on an instagram reel by @/ vintagepulps on a showcase of brazilian pulp magazine covers.

youtube

the SECOND that driving riff hit i experienced a brief moment of fuckor bc this is exactly and precisely the kind of song i like. this translation tells me it translates to My Girl. it's got moon/sun imagery. it's exactly the kind of song to drive around to in the summer while having an absolutely crippling crush on the person in the passenger seat. spotify

reading

you wouldn't download a woman...

TWICE

watching

I'm No Angel (1933, dir. Ruggles) a 1936 black comedy written by Mae West and starring the babiest Cary Grant you've ever seen. i added it to my letterboxed bc i saw screenshots of this one specific dress. that’s so much sideboob. good for her.

we don't use the term "adventuress" anymore to describe a woman who does various physical or social stunts to land a husband and i think that's a shame. Tira (yes) is a burlesque dancer and (separately) a lion tamer at a down on its luck circus, becomes famous through putting her head in a lion's mouth, and leverages that fame to fall in and out and back into love.

your enjoyment of this movie will hinge on your tolerance for astrologers, circuses with animals in them, and depictions of black housemaids that have not aged super well, even if they're mostly there to stroke her ego. i'm sort of torn on what rating this would get today-- i'm assuming R bc there's a woman expressing desire but nothing actually happens beyond kissing and some sitting in laps. some peril for the lions i guess?

i do not think this particularly nailed its landing, and i'm not totally sure why they got back together, but mae west in straight up burlesque and the shimmiest dresses you've ever seen is so much fun to watch it doesn't really matter. this is sort of sidelining the her very funny, extremely quotable script. apparently any movie she wasn't allowed to write or heavily doctor her own lines just completely flopped, which i also think is very funny.

just straight up on the internet archive

playing

triple header for Things That Came Out This Decade: Genshin Impact (September 2020), Deliver Us Mars (2023) and Gamedec (2021).

brief Genshin update: your main companion in the game, Paimon, the little fairy bitch, has been the recipient of some worrying foreshadowing lately. hey Paimon you wanna tell us anything???

Deliver Us Mars, free on Epic this week. i want to like this game. i think there should be more weird little eurojank original scifi B-franchises like this and you should be able to feed your family by making them. i do not want to continue playing this particular little franchise.

it's the second game by KeokeN (The Netherlands) and published by Wired Productions (UK, although they are partnered with Koch, which means they’ll be bought up soon), a studio of under 20 counting support staff (some of who are certainly part time or on hourly contracts) and an intern. after doing that basic background research i ratcheted my expectations back a couple notches and deleted a somewhat catty paragraph about video game hair.

this is a sequel to Deliver Us The Moon, which was a successful Kickstarter and Steam greenlight (TM (C) R) and it seems they spent the four interval years mostly polishing up the predecessor Deliver Us The Moon, which i do not own and do not plan on playing.

Deliver Us Mars bills itself as an action-adventure, but during my time with it, it was more of a cinematic movie/walking sim with extremely light puzzle/platform mechanics. there are extensive childhood flashbacks following a dad around as he trains his daughter to be an astronaut. the timing and insertion of these never quite clicked for me-- they take forever and they were never as interesting as what they interrupted.

youtube

this game is not good at signposting or tutorializing. i had to restart a chapter twice bc the unique controls popped up for a brief fleeting moment on screen and weren’t in the keybinding settings. i could never quite get the mouse and keyboard camera sensitivity right, and platforming/vertical elements seem to only be partially implemented: you can only really successfully approach certain segments from extremely specific dead-on angles. there are like three big boxes in your path that you have to clamber over at one point and i do not think it should take a solid minute and a half for me to get over them. some reviewers praised the lack of signposting during the launch sequence (causing you to frantically look around at a million unlabeled buttons and levers to see if any of them were highlighted as a thing you can click) as a fun way to ramp up stress but i fucking hated it.

after two and a half hours, and only just making it to a ship OUTSIDE mars, i decided there are other games in the world. this hits some sort of minimal viable story benchmark for me, i can see why some people love it, but i don’t want to find out what happens bad enough to play through a slow game that handles terribly and isn’t much fun to exist in.

does get points for big fuckoff dishes.

Gamedec is an isometric RPG, where you are a near-future private investigator who handles delicate personal matters inside wildly popular MMORPG VR games. unfortunately all the trailers suck shit.

youtube

this is catnip to me. i love a no-combat game where i have to walk around and talk to everyone and click on everything and write things down in a little notebook. i loooooooove being nosy. i've played through the first two and a half chapters (kinky second life, racketeering farmville, and real life uh oh) and i'm having a fucking marvelous time. the writing team clearly had a lot of fun, the VR game worlds feel very alive and vibrant-- there's a ton of possible weird little flavor interactions that go a very long way toward making me forget this is a limited-perspective isometric. this is like praising an RPG for doing what it says on the tin and being an RPG, but the most recent RPGs ive played have been fucking terrible. it's not shoehorning me into one-true or main-path choices. extremely forgiving of failure, which is good bc i straight up accidentally killed my first client. i know he was a kid but he kinda had it coming imo. sometimes kids just suck shit

im so delighted by this shitty little apartment-- it's got to be fucking bizarre to exist in, bc of the ultra-loft ceilings you need to make it be isometric, but it somehow manages to feel like a studio apartment and a seedy back office all at the same time. a game that is in general very fun to Look at. will have more thoughts as i continue playing but this is really scratching some sort of itch for me. commits to the bit. funny but sincere. a pastiche in ways i personally do not find annoying. has not hit me with like konami code style references yet. due to the fact this is also in my epic games store library i believe this was also free at some point

making

fallow week for me. phil has been regrowing skin at a good clip and i can no longer feel each individual vertebra, AND we have another vet appt on friday to get more/different antibiotic goop and all of her vaccinations and microchipping done. mack made a hairball and is getting put back on an actual wire slicker brush grooming schedule. my beautiful girl seems to have a particularly dense coat among the domestic shorthairs of my acquaintance, although that may be bc she is a new england girlie and we constantly exist in air conditioning?? mixed feelings about scheduled brushies from her, even with short and light sessions. we’ll get there.

helping.

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem #phil

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blossoming-mind-palace · 4 months ago

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Life Update! No, I'm not on hiatus.

Sorry for not writing for a while, but like I posted a while ago I suddenly became the mom of two 4 week old kittens. I don't plan on going on hiatus. Also, there's some bad news but I'm gonna leave that under the cut.

Any who, meet Pookie and Piggy! My family found them under my shed last weekend and we've been caring for them ever since. That's why I haven't created much lately. Not only are they young, but they also have a virus and are currently being quarantined in my bathroom.

They're a lot of work, and it's like I have two full-time jobs right now. I have to feed them every three hours (This is why I'm so sleep deprived.), give them their meds, play with them because they're kittens with TONS of energy, treat their eyes every night, give them flea baths, etc. It's a lot of work but it's worth it.

I haven't had a cat since 2020, and I haven't had kittens since I was in elementary school. This is a learning experience for me, and it's the most fun I've had in a while. Before we found them I was literally thinking," Man, everyone I know is having babies and getting married. I wish something interesting would happen to me." and then BOOM kittens.

I'm still trying to write and draw, and I'll probably be more active when they become more independent. For right now my productivity might slow down, but I don't plan on completely stopping any time soon. Here's some kitten pictures as an apology for being so inactive.

The black one is Pookie (my baby) and the grey one is Piggy (my mom's baby). Pookie's name used to be Fiesty, but they're too sweet for that! They were just "fiesty" because they were scared IMO. Either that or I'm just Pookie's favorite human, because they've always been sweet to me. Piggy's name is self-explanatory and is the softest and most chaotic of the two.

They used to have fleas, but we've given them flea baths and I'm pretty sure they're all dead. The grey one had so much flea dirt that its bath water turned brown. I just know Piggy felt ten times better after we killed all those pesky fleas. As for their virus, it's a congestion thing. They're too young to test them and see exactly what it is, but they're taking antibiotics right now. They're on day 3 of 10 of their quarantine, and I'm excited for it to be over so I can properly introduce them to my dog and take them to the pet store.

But yeah that's what I've been up to for the past week. Don't ask me about my pets unless you want an essay on them. I am that annoying pet parent who won't shut up about their pets.

Okay here's the sad part. TW for pet death.

I've also been silent because two kittens used to be three. The runt was in terrible condition when we found it with Piggy. Its eyes were matted shut thanks to the congestion, it was malnourished, had the worst case of fleas, etc. We cleaned it up, fed it, and its condition had improved a lot, but mother nature is a cruel bitch and it became a victim of sudden kitten death. I think it was the virus the other two had and a respiratory illness, but the vet said it could've been multiple things since it was already in terrible condition when we found it.

I spent the most time taking care of it and bonded with it. It was starting to open its eyes a few days before it died and I was probably the last thing it saw. I cried for a solid hour and lost my appetite for a while. Another shitty thing is that it died the morning before their vet appointment. Sudden kitten death is the worst.

But yeah I've also been unproductive because I've been really sad. Thankfully, the other two have a much higher chance to live. They're currently being treated for their virus and according to the vet I've been taking care of them correctly. I'm really glad that we found Pookie because Piggy was attached to the runt (we found Piggy and the runt together, but Pookie was found a day later), and I think Pookie has helped both of us get through this.

This is the last time I'm gonna talk about the runt on here so please don't send asks about it. I'm trying to heal from this experience, but thinking about it still makes me lose my appetite.

Any who, thanks so much for being patient with me despite my inactivity. Love you guys. <3

#rambles #life update #kitten corner

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valos-venus-doom · 10 months ago

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Drawn & Quartered [Chapter 5]

December 28th 2011

Mige, Linde, Gas and Burton sat in their rehearsal space waiting for Ville. They had all planned to meet there first thing in the morning for a final Helldone rehearsal and Ville was running late. Running late was generous, Ville had kept them waiting for hours. They were supposed to start at noon, it was nearing 4 o'clock.

By now, word had started to spread about Caitlyn and her rebound, which shocked everyone because Ville hadn't said a word about a breakup.

"Should we ask him if he's alright?" Burton suggested.

"You can, I'm not going to bring it up." Gas replied with his typical Scandinavian "mind your own business" philosophy.

Moments later, Ville walked in seemingly followed by a storm cloud.

"What's up?" Ville said out loud but to no one in particular. His friends watched as he pulled out a case of beer from his backpack and a bottle of Jack Daniels, immediately cracking open the cap of the latter and taking a swig.

Mige and Burton side-eyed each other, Ville had been sober for years. A familiar feeling of dread washed over the room. They'd all been here before.

"Are we having a party or something?" Mige questioned.

"Hm? Oh, no." Ville responded. "Just me. One man party over here."

"I see we're starting early?" Mige questioned.

"Ha! Starting? That would imply that I've stopped." Ville chuckled. "No no, my dear boy, this is day 3 for me."

"Ville--"

"Mige, I love you, but shut the fuck up. You have no fucking idea what the last 3 days have been like for me." Ville glared at his friend.

Linde, Mige, Burton and Gas all shifted uncomfortably. They'd been here before.

"Gas, doesn't look like your kit's put together." Ville mentioned, cracking open a beer. "Maybe do that so we can get the fuck out of here at a decent hour?" Tone dripping with passive-aggressiveness.

Gas replied, matching Ville's tone. "Oh yeah, my bad. We've all been waiting on you for hours but sure..."

"And in all that time you could have had your shit together but alas!" Ville replied bluntly, throwing his arms up in an exaggerated shrug.

Ville picked up his backpack and ducked into the bathroom, immediately turning on the sink.

"I'm not sure why he took his bag in there, I doubt he's changing his tampon. Even though he's acting like a PMSing bitch." Burton pointed out.

"I can think of a reason." Linde muttered.

Seconds later, the running water stopped and Ville emerged from the bathroom rubbing his nose and stuffing his keys back into his backpack.

He cleared his throat loudly and sniffled. "I know we said that we'd take a break after Helldone, but I've been writing, so I'm thinking we can reconvene on the 3rd to start going over some ideas I have. Title of the new album is 'Fuck you Caitlyn Part 1.' And then we'll have a single called 'I'm Going to Murder Matthias Olavi in His Fucking Sleep.'" He sniffled again.

"Ville, do you need to go sleep it off?" Burton asked.

Ville side-eyed Burton, "I don't need sleep. I need to create. It's the only way I'm not going to walk out this fucking door and kill that motherfucker."

"Ville--" Mige admonished.

But before Ville could jump in and begin to tear Mige a new asshole, Linde chimed in "No, I get it."

Everyone was surprised to hear that. Linde had a tendency to want to solve problems with violence, especially when alcohol was involved. "Fuck Cait and Fuck Matthias." Linde bluntly continued, shrugging.

"Thank you!" Ville gestured towards Linde while staring down everyone else. The coke was starting to take hold, his teeth were buzzing. He'd forgotten how weird that felt.

Linde grabbed Ville's bottle of Jack and took a swig himself. Truth be told, Linde was also licking his wounds, his own relationship was falling apart and his ex-wife was giving him shit about something related to the child they shared. He wasn't exactly feeling docile himself. "He broke bro code." Linde looked from Ville to Mige, "You don't fuck your friend's ex. I don't care how much I love you guys, I would fucking fight you." Ville passed the bottle of Jack over to Linde before Linde continued, "In fact, Ville, I don't know how you haven't kicked his teeth in yet. You're a better man than me."

"Oh, trust me, I'm thinking about it." Ville confirmed, grabbing his backpack and once again running to the bathroom.

"Oi, if you're doing coke you better share." Linde called to him.

Ville froze, it wasn't like he was being secretive, but he didn't want to draw attention. "Fine." he sat back down and threw the small baggie of white powder onto the table towards Linde who indulged without a second thought.

"You're thinking about fighting Matthias, tag me in. I have a decade of rage to take out on someone." Linde said before sniffling and rubbing his own nose. "Fuck that's good."

Ville tapped his teeth together, toying with the numb sensation in his front teeth, "I should. I really should."

"Do it." Linde smirked.

"Okay, enough." Mige had had enough of their bullshit. "You're both in our mid-30s. This is fucking ridiculous. Punching Matthias isn't going to make you feel better. Just let it go. Does it suck? Yeah, it really fucking does suck that she broke up with you, Ville--

"Nuh-uh, I broke up with her. Because she's a cold, callous--"

Mige cut him off "Okay, so you broke up with her. My fucking point still stands and even more so! It sucks you broke up with her and she decided to move on. It really sucks it was with someone you know, but we know our circles end up a bit incestuous, what the fuck do you want? She doesn't owe you anything." Mige tried to rationalize.

"She doesn't owe me anything?" Ville looked at Mige in disbelief, "I gave her 5 fucking years of my life. The least she could do is wait til my cum falls out of her cunt first before jumping on the next dick. That's what a decent woman would do."

Mige knew it was useless to argue with Ville while he was so angry, and especially when he was under the influence. He just rolled his eyes and sat back in his seat. There would be no reasoning with Ville for now.

"Ville, dude, I'm fucking serious, let's go jump this motherfucker." Linde piped up, cocaine clearly starting to ramp up his aggression.

"Don't--" Mige began to warn them.

"Actually yeah," Ville said quickly, cutting Mige off before he could continue making sense, "Let's get the fuck out of here."

"Fuck yeah." Linde muttered as he stood up and followed Ville out, car keys in hand.

Mige rubbed his temples in frustration, "I'm going to end up having to bail them out of jail."

"Are you fucking serious?" Gas called out after them, before looking at Burton and Mige, "I just finished putting my kit together." his mouth agape in frustrated disbelief.

Linde and Ville drove around for a while, enjoying the high and talking shit about the women who scorned them while listening to some angry thrash metal Linde has in the CD player. "I haven't kicked the shit out of anyone in a while. I'm due for it." Linde remarked.

Ville grinned, it wasn't too often that he got to have fun conversations with Linde like this. They hadn't done coke together in so long, it was fun even though they were both heartbroken and furious.

It was dark when they pulled up to Matthias' house, "Which house?" Ville asked.

"Uh... I thought you knew?" Linde shrugged, looking over at his friend. "I know what his car looks like though. Oh-- and there it is."

The men parked and got out of the car, both taking another bump before exiting the vehicle to boost their high. "So do we wait for him to come out? Or do we start knocking on doors?" Ville asked, rubbing his nose.

"We could. But first I gotta piss." Linde cleared his throat and walked over to the driver's side door of Matthias' car. "It's cold. This'll freeze in no time." Linde giggled to himself.

"Piss-sicles." Ville began to laugh.

"You gonna do the otherside?" Linde asked as he finished up.

Ville stopped and thought for a moment before shaking his head, "No, no. I-- I don't want Cait to possibly touch that."

Linde looked at his friend confused, "Why does that matter? Fuck her."

Ville shook his head again, "No, I can't do that. Not to her."

"She fucked your friend, who we're about to kick the shit out of, and you don't want to get her back? Like at all?" Linde questioned. But Ville bit his lip, looking around at nothing.

"This was a mistake." Ville got hit with a wave of reality. He didn't want to hurt anyone. Mige was right, it wouldn't make him feel better. "Let's go back to the studio."

Linde sighed and shrugged, "Fine. But I'm still mad on your behalf so..." he whipped out a pocket knife from his back pocket, recently used to open a new back of guitar picks, and slashed one of Matthias' tires. Then another. Then another.

Ville watched his friend, slightly satisfied, but still feeling empty. He needed another bump. "You aren't going to do all of them?"

"Nah, way more inconvenient to just pop three. You'd know that if you drove." Linde teased.

"Fair enough." Ville nodded with a grin.

"So, just checking again, you don't want to go knock Matti's teeth in?" Linde asked, pulling his coat around him tighter and seeing his pee frozen to Matthias' car door handle.

"Nah, let's just go." Ville shook his head.

"And you don't want me to try to see if I can have another chick beat Cait's--"

"Hey, no, shut the fuck up." Ville cut him off, voice raising. The coke in his system ramping up once again from a hit he'd taken moments before.

"I'm just saying dude, you can't hit her but another girl--"

"I said shut up." Ville spat, "You're not going to threaten her. Don't let me hear it again."

Linde put his hands up in surrender, "Alright, I'm just checking man."

"Don't. Ever again." Ville glared at him, "I don't care what she's done, I won't let anyone hurt her."

Linde stared at Ville perplexed, "You aren't over her, are you? You'd still take her back if she called you right now, wouldn't you?"

Ville nodded, "In a fucking heartbeat."

Linde sighed, "Let's go. Before Mige comes looking for us. Or the cops come."

#ville valo #vv #ville valo fan fic #ville valo fan fiction #neon noir #him #h.i.m #heartagram #his infernal majesty #love metal

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oh-cramity-its-amity · 11 months ago

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I know it's a bit late for a WIP Wednesday, but I was super busy yesterday. Better late than never though and I'm holding myself to it! We're going to do this, yeppers. Here we go with my incessant rambles.

So, for the first WIP Wednesday I couldn't quite decide on what AU to exactly show off or bring up for the occasion. Instead, I figured I'd give you all an idea that has been in the drafts but never got past 3.6k words. Why, might you ask? I'm not too sure. I think for what it was, it never had a foundational plot to where I knew what direction I wanted to have it be. Or what it even was going to be about. I didn't want to start another one of those fics where it had no direction. Even if it was a self-indulgent thing.

The entire AU is set in college (which is funny because I never went to college- but for some reason I like college aus more than high school aus), where Luz is super big into writing and Amity worked at the library on campus. This combined with a concept where they just keep running into one another despite not meaning to and annoying themselves out in the process.

I don't know why but when I first thought of this concept, I wanted to include this scene where Luz is just writing on this roof top garden area and its nighttime, but she's there because she cannot sleep and because she doesn't want to wake Willow up. And then there's Amity where SOMEHOW, she shows up and is like "Why are you here?"/"I was here first, the same could be said for you." and it's like a whole thing because Amity just wants to be alone but of course for plot reasons that just doesn't happen.

Another plot point I wanted to add was that Hunter and Amity being step siblings because I absolutely love the thought of their stepsibling dynamic. Where at first, they dislike one another because Hunter's just there and showed up in the family but overtime Amity grows to tolerate him. But in the fic, Luz doesn't know that him and Amity are step siblings- But it's her venting to Hunter about "this bitch is so mean, and I wish she'd stop showing up every time I want to just exist." Established Huntlow, but also despite the stepsibling thing, Amity isn't a part of the group due to just her being a loner and focused on her studies so much. WHICH BRINGS ME INTO THE NEXT THING.

An additional reason this was meant as a 'self-indulgent' thing was because I wanted to write about Odalia being an alcoholic, and how her and Amity's relationship is strained because of that. I don't want to like write about "flashbacks" or damaging shit because that is not the point of the fic. It's Amity moving on and navigating how she exists knowing that her relationship is strained with Odalia because of her substance usage, and how in that in the same breath; how her trauma exists long term. Mainly the one factor that people dismiss and downplay her anxiety as being irrelevant or overdramatic (In other words, "not being 'valid enough'")

Just like- having that conversation open up between Amity and Luz of like communicating emotions like that, and how in some situations when you have trauma you just get anxious and you don't want to be, but you just are. But the situation isn't like a "Oh I love you because you understand me so therefore my trauma now doesn't exist and we're dating" kind of thing, it's just two people that see each other for who they are and they're not the best at it, but they're communicating better than their parents ever did to them.

AND THAT. That is so real. I just wanted to write some kind of healing fic apparently, but I never got to the point past 3.6k words of set up. Am I self-projecting? Maybe... But it's okay because it's not like it couldn't work.

If you managed to read ALL OF THAT. I'm sorry lmaoooo. But when I get going with my aus I cannot stop talking about them. Here is what you've probably been looking for. Here is the WIP. It's messy and unedited but IT CAME FROM THE DRAFTS!

A RANDOM ASS SCENE FOR YOU (please ignore the cringe ugh)

“So, as I was saying Luz, the front spread has got to pop,” Gus stood in front of the table they and two other students held hostage in the library. The four with their own laptops and hasty jumbled drawings across notebooks. “And that’s pop with a capital P. None of that soda business.” “What if we do it on the football team?” a member asked, but Gus quickly scrambled the idea aside with a blatant excuse that academics were more ‘in this year.’ “What about the art funding?” Luz asked, “we are more so an artistic school. We could interview the dean and give his take on how art is important in student’s fundamental development.” Gus frowned, “I’m not interviewing Dr. Hootisfer.” “Vice president Wittabane?” “He’s actively trying to cut artistic funding. We all know he just wants Hootisfer’s job.” “Which is more reason why we should do a story on it,” Matt said, Gus's expression faltered for a moment as they caught one another’s gaze. He paused before he gave a nod. “You know what?” Gus clarified, “that actually does seem like a good idea after all. Maybe you’re right about that,” he crossed around to the other side to stand between them both and used his body weight to lean into the table. Matt began to type an email for the rest of the team that included the professor whom housed their meets normally, while Luz doctored more adjustments into their meeting notes. “Hey, you guys need to leave in twenty minutes, the library is going to close soon,” a girl came up and tapped the table. The plastic from one of her bracelets clattered with gingered force. Gus and Matt remained focused, but Luz's expression followed the girl. More specifically on the cart full of books she forced along, and the hair that swept itself into a tight surf green ponytail--which Luz noted--helpfully exposed her undercut. She stopped at the next table and repeated the same action, but then disappeared from view in the nonfiction section seconds afterward. “Luz?” If Gus had explained something, Luz knew she didn’t have the fortitude to recite it back. He didn’t seem to be annoyed however from the way he resumed like nothing transpired. Matt sent the email, and they closed the meeting soon after by Gus's announcement that he needed story ideas by next Tuesday. The rest of their team would be held to the same regard when they met again. Luz fiddled with the zipper on her computer bag and pulled the strap over her neck. Matt and Gus followed suite as they paced one other out of the building. Many students did the same as it signified the libraries closure for the evening. The same girl Luz saw earlier now fixed herself behind the checkout counter they passed. “You want to go get dinner? I’m starving,” said Gus. They weaved through the bustle of students to make their way outside. The night air seemed almost like electricity in the sense that it rejuvenated the crumpled hours prior. Her own stomach pulled at the mention of food. “Maybe in a bit, I’d like to see what Willow and Hunter are doing first,” Luz commented and took out her phone to open the conversation with Willow. Her thumbs brushed across the screen with a fluid rhythm. “You should invite them too, the more the merrier,” Matt pushed her shoulder with a fist and Gus chuckled with agreement. “I’m going to go make a quick phone call then,” she nodded and went to an uncrowded spot.

For the record though, this WIP isn't "dead" I could make it work, I just don't see how it could be all that cool. It's just a silly lil thing.

#the owl house #fanfiction #ao3 #toh fanfic #lumity #wip wednesday #it came from the drafts #unfinished wip #text post #rambles

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sincelastsession · 6 months ago

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Oh to be a spoiled fat house cat, no thoughts, empty head, lounging on a paper bag.

Anyway I woke up to a lil video my partner sent me. It was the sounds of the beach and little birds looking out a window. Really peaceful.

He had to drive home straight to work after that.

I'm still in freeze. I tried to get a little bit done. I'm really pissed at myself because I wanted to leave and go places and get groceries but I can't get myself to leave so easy and didn't write a list and forgot to charge my headphones.

My mom ordered me some cheap as hell noise canceling headphones when I asked her not to because I've tried the military grade which I may have to go get. She's been nothing but nasty to me with her tone and it's just like in the book I'm reading. I'd called her late to chat with her about 5mins. She was wildly mean and wouldn't stop freaking out to let me speak and before I could speak she had flipped out thinking I was going to bring up my sister. Then I told her I wasn't and she ranted more. This predicting what I was calling about and making assumptions about me and lashing out continued and she kept threatening to hang up if I didn't tell her what I called about and fussing about how I never shut up. So I finally snapped and was like "can you please calm down and shut the fuck up and quit bitching at me so I can speak you've been NOTHING but nasty to me for no reason and you know I'm having trouble and you know bitching and yelling makes me have more issues so why are you doing that? Why are you holding a Grudge about how I had a bad voice tone and was having bad compulsory issues that made it look like I was mad which I told you I wasn't and it wasn't about you and more on you attacking me the entire time because your driving is scary and I mentioned that too much?" Like she holds grudges and resentment forever no matter how I try to explain my shit isn't directed at her unless I'm like "hey yeah I'm actually mad at you" so idk how long this call is going but my mom counts the minutes because it's clear that she only likes chatting with me on her time. In fact no one in the family has ever wanted to talk to me unless it's their insane terms. She kept bitching on the phone and I said what I needed to but didn't get an answer and was about to cry and told her "you know you and dad are EXACTLY like how this book I'm reading describes emotionally immature parents and I'm not perfect either but it's on point" and then she demanded the book name which I haven't given her because when my parents do read therapy books they use it against me and cherry pick.

So finally I have enough because she's still bitching and I never got the answer to the question and I was so anxious I needed to go throw up. (Not in the eating disorder way, I was very anxious and literally couldn't stomach the stress)

I told her " You know what I'm not your parent and I'm hanging up"

This is not the worst interaction we've had it's just a typical one.

The amount of dumb bullshit that could be avoided if my parents just educated themselves on my mental and physical health issues or just LISTENED to my experiences is STAGGERING.

I know I can't make them do anything. I'm not going to let them treat me like shit though then bitch when I have enough and flip out back at them. It doesn't seem to matter what I do or how or my wording or tone they are ready to attack me.

I'm sure I do lots of shitty things too and guess where it came from? But I'll admit it and work on it and they fuckin do not care enough about me to treat me correctly.

I'm not trying to control them. They act so paranoid. I'm just trying to teach them about me and how to treat me.

They think they're normal and that other families are terrible too.

I know most of my friends have pretty chill normal families. I've heard thier drama and it's like "wahhh mom raised her voice at me because I did a dumb thing"

I'm not treated like an adult fully. I'm an autistic adult with ocd adhd and cptsd and I need accommodation and understanding and to be given cues and met at least part of the way if not half. But im treated like I'm trying to ruin their lives. It HURTS.

Sometimes I don't feel bad but 80% of the time I feel guilt and shame and I reflect and pick at everything I do that's wrong.

I was a parentified child clearly because I felt like more of an adult as a kid than I do as an adult now. Things that didn't bug me back then are scary and challenging now.

My parents haven't emotionally matured and neither has my sister. I've seen her fiancé's snap chat and she's not really happy and it's fake and I can tell. Like honestly I wish I'd had a body cam for various parts of my life just to show therapists and doctors. They're all such good actors.

I don't understand.

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limesonspecial · 10 months ago

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Apropos of that last reblog, I got in a fight at work this week over - of all things - dry erase markers.

See, I was asked to buy some, and for the past year and a half all I have heard is bitching about the fucking store brand markers and how they Don't Erase and Die Immediately and various other sins. So I resolved to buy the good markers, not out of brand snobbery but because they are demonstrably better. However, I am not permitted to just buy things, I must get approval. Once, this was just approval from my boss, the head of the department, but lately my workplace has been in dire financial straits so we're all being frugal and now there's an extra layer of approval to go through from outside the department. And unfortunately the chap tasked with this responsibility has been told to hold the line on the good markers because they are Too Expensive. It's come up before.

So anyway, knowing I was fighting a moderately uphill battle, I went to have a collegial chat with the guy and ask if, pretty please, we could get the good markers just this once because it's actually having an impact on how the faculty in my department do their jobs. I was told no, they're too expensive, but I'm sure we can find an alternative. Thus stymied, I went away and did the research.

Now, this is where it comes back to academic disputes. One thing any academic knows is that academics love to do research. People who are not academics do not seem to grasp this. So when I say I did the research, I mean I did the fucking research. It took me an hour or so to collate materials and write up my findings in a meticulously-cited email, wherein I presented that not only was the alternative I'd been presented nonviable (the black markers are backordered), but also right now the good markers are on sale so they're actually less expensive than the ones I'd been offered (which again, are currently only available in the more-colors-than-would-be-useful configuration). For good measure, I also went through enough pages of highly-rated search results to get about eight other alternatives, and explained concisely why they wouldn't work for our purposes (commonly: too expensive, too many colors, too few reviews for the rating to be statistically significant). The conclusion: let me buy the good markers, they're actually the fiscally responsible option right now.

Reader, he did not just let me buy the goddamn markers.

He didn't say no, exactly, but the subtext of his response was "I'll find you something, tell me what you need," as though I, a person with multiple graduate degrees, don't know how to do product research and price comparisons. Operating under the impression that he just couldn't say yes (because of a mandate from on high), I...escalated to the person who could say yes (his boss), with my boss's blessing. Unfortunately, this seems to have annoyed his boss, because something something surely we have better things to do. And on the one hand, sure. I could've been eating lunch instead of escalating. But on the other hand, researching the best solution to a problem is kind of my thing. I don't know why she's upset that I'm engaging in natural behaviors.

Anyway, long story short, we're getting the good markers because I was right. All my faculty will rejoice, and hopefully a couple more people will grasp that one should never go in against a scientist when the weapon is research. It's a classic blunder, but an infuriating one.

#story time!#arguments involving an academic #now I just have to soothe egos #bleh

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guzsdaily · 1 year ago

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[Routine] Triggers

Day 09 - Nov 14, 12.023

Today will not be a complete or any time of actual post. I'm just had to say that: procrastination is a bitch, and I'm tired of doing nothing. Sorry. This was what I had in mind to post today, but my girlfriend didn't let me. If her is reading to this: eu te amo.

Today was not the greatest day since the start of this journal, I would say. Because I procrastinated pretty much all of it, but well, at least now I learned or realized something new about myself and routines in general I would say, so now I actually have a theme for today's post: routine triggers.

Today's bad trigger

As I said, today I procrastinated most of it, and of course I blame myself for again not stopping the domino effect. But now at the end of the day, writing this post, I just questioned myself: "Why? What was the first piece that felt over to start this effect?". And I'm kinda ashamed because it was so naive and unimportant the answer to it:

On the start of the day, I waked up, dressed myself, and got my phone. And just of curiosity and with the idea of getting something out of my day, I thought: "What are the new videos in my feed since yesterday? Maybe I could watch them now in the morning, so I don't have anything new for the rest of the day."

And in a pass of magic, now I'm here after just passed my day watching videos and actively searching for new ones. Do you know the "just one more" or "it is X:45 a.m., I'll just do/watch this which has 15 minutes, and then I start in Y:00!"? This was the entire day. I know that this type of behavior is something somewhat common for everyone, but it is so silly when you see in retrospect.

My entire day was defined by a small decision at the start of the day. Yes, I could stop at any time, but when you start a bad routine, it's hard to get out of it, even more in a day. And it is better when you can cut it by the root.

Why did I have this decision of wanting to watch videos? To be honest, this is an entire different theme for a post, but in summary: dopamine and "hobby" of watching videos since a kid.

The good trigger

So if there are bad triggers which start you in a bad habit/routine, what are your good ones? And being honest, I already know mys, I already somewhat talked about with my therapist about: waking up, organizing my bed, and then taking a shower. That's it. If I start the day with them, independent of what hour of the day, the majority of the time, I have a productive day. Why? I don't fucking know, muscular memory, association, whatever is the research about triggers say (which I forgot about).

Why I didn't continue doing this morning routine? I can't be sure, but very often is intrusive thoughts and justifications like "I waked up late, taking a shower now would take a lot of time". Do I know to exactly combat them? No, but knowing about them already helps practice Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (which is the type of therapy that I'm practicing with my therapist, but not exclusively, I still am trying to find the roots of traumas and problems, not just fixing them with CBT)

I have to admit that in the past days, I have been very lazy about fighting said intrusive thoughts. Thankfully not completely, because I'm still able to do something during the day, like organizing my note taking app, or "decorating" it - which to be honest are things that I need to do, but shouldn't be a priority or doing now y'know?.

Well, let's see how the next days goes, and hopefully this helped someone to also think about their "routine triggers".

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Today's artists & creative things

Song: Infame - by Supercombo & Kamaitachi - This music is such a style that I love and always make me want to sing along, and almost scream along too. Kamaitachi (the main singer in this song) is an artist which I love and feel like he has such a unique voice and style in his musics, and in this music, with Supercombo's more metal/hard style, is such a perfect combo that I couldn't stop listening to when I discovered it. Recommend both authors' songs also, but this music is so unique that I needed to put specific list it here today.

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This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-SA 4.0) License

#daily journal #routine maintenance

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kahran042 · 1 year ago

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A metric ****tonne of new Jonas Corbin's Guide to Life quotes!

Chloe: Say it! Alicia: I am a tough…whispers bitch. (Source: 13 Going on 30) (Chloe Seaver, Alicia Ramsey)

Sarah: Here, Lauren. I got you this book. It’s called “New Hampshire's Best Lesbian Hikes.” Lauren: Now I can walk and kiss girls at the same time!! (Source: 3rd Rock from the Sun) (Sarah Reinholt, Lauren Reinholt)

Connor: No need to apologize. You’re stupid; I’m rude. See you tomorrow. (Source: 3rd Rock from the Sun) (Connor Urquhart)

Jonas: Give me one good reason why. Chloe: I’ll give you five good reasons. counting her fingers as she curls them into a fist One, two, three, four, FIVE! Jonas: Those are good reasons. (Source: A Charlie Brown Christmas) (Jonas Corbin, Chloe Seaver)

Nate: Who would care about a loser like me? Jonas: Losers like us, that’s who! (Source: A Very Potter Musical) (Nate Kellerman, Jonas Corbin)

Principal Mazlish: Jonas Corbin, why do I get the feeling this has something to do with you? (Source: Aaahh!!! Real Monsters) (Viktor Mazlish)

Mia: I'm Mia, and I'm back to answer more of your letters! Our first letter comes from Claudia Thomas of Clear Lake, Iowa. Claudia writes, "Dear Mia,"- that's me! "Dear Mia, I live in a two-story house and my room is upstairs. Every morning when it's time to go to school, I jump out the window. So far, I've broken my leg seventeen times. You have any help or suggestions for me?" Well, Claudia, I do have a little suggestion for you. USE THE STINKING STAIRS! THE STAIRS, EINSTEIN! "I'm Claudia! And I jump out the window because blah dee blah dee BLAH!" JUST USE THE STINKING STAIRS! MAN! ARE YOU SURE YOU BROKE YOUR LEG? BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU FELL ON YOUR HEAD AND BROKE YOUR STINKING BRAIN! heavy breathing (Source: All That) (Mia Thompson)

Principal Mazlish: I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them! Jonas: But you did make the rules, they’re called “Mazlish's Rules”! Principal Mazlish: Darn right! And I stand by them! (Source: Amphibia) (Viktor Mazlish, Jonas Corbin)

Jonas: It’s no big deal. Jonas, narrating: This was a very big deal. (Source: Amphibia) (Jonas Corbin)

Jonas: Aren't you even a little bit scared? Nate: Why should I be? Science is on my side. (Source: Arthur) (Jonas Corbin, Nate Kellerman)

Monica: You can stay up when you're Jonas' age, Samantha. Samantha: But I'll never be Jonas' age! He's always gonna be ten years older than me. (Source: Arthur) (Monica Corbin, Samantha Corbin)

Jared: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think it’s too late for violence. (Source: Bob's Burgers) (Jared Murphy)

Chloe: I have a hypothetical question. Suppose a kid at school called me a nasty name… should I kick him real hard in the shins? Mark: No, I don't think violence would be justified. Chloe: Here's another hypothetical question. What if I already did? (Source: Calvin and Hobbes) (Chloe Seaver, Mark Seaver)

Samantha: They say Santa knows if you've been good or bad, but what if someone had been sort of BOTH? I mean, suppose some kid TRIED to be good… at least, well, most of the time… but bad things inexplicably kept happening? Suppose some kid just had terrible luck, and she got blamed for a lot of things she did only SORT of on purpose? Jonas: Who exactly might we be talking about? Samantha: This is a purely hypothetical case, Mr. Smartypants. (Source: Calvin and Hobbes) (Samantha Corbin, Jonas Corbin)

Connor: looks up at the stars I'M SIGNIFICANT! (A few minutes pass) Connor: …screamed the dust speck. (Source: Calvin and Hobbes) (Connor Urquhart)

Adrian: I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information. (Source: Calvin and Hobbes) (Adrian Bernhardt)

Connor: I won't be sorry to see this day end. Morgan: You say that every day. (Source: Daria) (Connor Urquhart, Morgan Urquhart)

Thom: Connor, do you have to look at everything in such a negative light? Connor: Could you possibly be referring to the harsh light of reality? (Source: Daria) (Thom Anderson, Connor Urquhart)

Marissa: …I should get back before Thom and Kyle kill each other. Donna: Yeah. You wouldn’t wanna miss that. (Source: Daria) (Marissa Anderson, Donna Corbin)

Colin: I love your hair. Morgan: What? Colin: No…I- love the…air. (Source: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog) (Colin Gardner, Morgan Urquhart)

Jared: Why are you going to be on the news? Did you get locked in the monkey cage again? Nick: Hey, those chimps tricked me! The big one took my corn dog and I had to go in there and get it back! (Source: Drake and Josh) (Jared Murphy, Nick Murphy)

Thom: I’m not cool, alright? Why do you think old people like me so much? (Source: Drake and Josh) (Thom Anderson)

Jonas: Excuse me, but I know when a girl likes me! I’ve imagined it a thousand times! (Source: Drake and Josh) (Jonas Corbin)

Teacher: You were supposed to hand in an essay on current events. Nick: Yeah, which I did. Teacher: No, this is today's newspaper with your name written on it. In crayon. (Source: Drake and Josh) (Nick Murphy)

Jonas: opens his bedroom window and looks out YOU HEAR THAT, FOXWOOD? JONAS CORBIN'S TIME HAS COME! SO LOOK OUTSIDE- falls out of the window (Source: Drake and Josh) (Jonas Corbin)

Mark: looking at a picture of himself Who's that good-looking guy? Connor: Get some glasses, Mark. (Source: Ed, Edd n Eddy) (Mark Seaver, Connor Urquhart)

Kiera: (eating a sandwich) Mmm. Chloe: What kind of sandwich is that? Kiera: Peanut butter egg and jellybean. The week after Easter so rocks. Chloe: I need to start making MY lunches. (Source: FoxTrot) (Kiera Bernhardt, Chloe Seaver)

Chloe: Mark, I don't even know HOW to play Wayfarer! Mark: That's OK- you can read the instructions while I'm setting up. Chloe: Where are they? Mark: In my big bookcase upstairs. Chloe: Could you be a little more specific? Mark: How so? Chloe: Top shelf? Bottom shelf? Middle shelf? Mark: Look, if time's a problem, you can skip volumes 18 and 31… (Source: FoxTrot) (Chloe Seaver, Mark Seaver)

Zane: Jazz, if you were Sarah, what would you want for your birthday? Jasmine: Hmmm. Am I mad at you? Zane: A little. Yeah. Jasmine: Diamonds. Big ol' rocks. Zane: What if you weren't mad at me? Jasmine: Hmmmm… Diamonds. Big ol' rocks. Zane: Never mind. (Source: FoxTrot) (Zane Kessler, Jasmine Kessler)

Kiera: Okay, well, I guess I just never think of money as an issue. Chloe: That's because you have it. Kiera: That’s a good point. (Source: Friends) (Kiera Bernhardt, Chloe Seaver)

Nate: That's a mean question! I'm not answering that! Chloe: Come on, it's just a question. If you had to punch someone in the group- if you HAD to- who would you punch? Nate: I'm not answering that. We're all friends. Why would I punch anyone? Chloe: It would be Jonas, wouldn't it? Nate: Yeah, but I don't know why. (Source: Friends) (Nate Kellerman, Chloe Seaver)

Peter: I’m older. Colin: I’m younger. Peter: I’m taller. Colin: I’m shorter. Peter: I’m smarter. Colin: I’m…not falling for that. (Source: Full House) (Peter Gardner, Colin Gardner)

Connor: Tell me something I don't know. Morgan: Yesterday, I dropped your toothbrush in the toilet. (Source: Full House) (Connor Urquhart, Morgan Urquhart)

Richard: Am I the raddest, baddest dad a kid could ever have? Jonas: You were until you said that. (Source: Full House) (Richard Corbin, Jonas Corbin)

Richard: Now you can have your ice cream and chocolate milk, but no cookies. Samantha: Boy, are you strict! (Source: Full House) (Richard Corbin, Samantha Corbin)

Kathleen: You can��t just sit here in the dark, listening to music. Connor: Well, I could have if you hadn’t turned on the lights and turned off the speakers. (Source: Futurama) (Kathleen Urquhart, Connor Urquhart)

Jonas: My back hurts from sleeping for eighteen hours. Brad: For you, that would be considered a work-related injury. Jonas: Shut up. (Source: Garfield) (Jonas Corbin, Brad Thompson)

Mia: Look, Brad, look! Look! Look! Look! Brad! Brad! Brad! Brad! Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! Brad: ALL RIGHT! WHAT IS IT?!! Mia: Made you look. (Source: Garfield) (Mia Thompson, Brad Thompson)

Donna: (looking groggy) Oh, boy, what a night. I ate too much, I drank too much, and I danced half the night. You're lucky you're a kid, Jonas. You don't have to put up with all that. Jonas: (yells) RUB IT IN, WHY DON'T YOU?! (Source: Garfield) (Donna Corbin, Jonas Corbin)

Robert: I'll never understand you. Connor: I like that. Connor Urquhart: Boy of Mystery. (Source: Garfield) (Robert Urquhart, Connor Urquhart)

Mark: I think we’re lost. Connor: We don’t get lost, we go exploring. (Source: Generator Rex) (Mark Seaver, Connor Urquhart)

Principal Mazlish: Mr. Kellerman, I need one minute of your time. Nate: I’ll give you two because you scare me. (Source: Gilmore Girls) (Viktor Mazlish, Nate Kellerman)

Mark: I'm madly in love with you. Lauren: Well, good luck with that. (Source: Gilmore Girls) (Mark Seaver, Lauren Reinholt)

Jonas: Who wants to hear a joke? Connor: Not me. Jonas: Yeah you do, here goes. (Source: Gravity Falls) (Jonas Corbin, Connor Urquhart)

Justin: Despite my best efforts, NASA rejected my application letter three times. Each letter said the same thing: “We thank you for your interest, but you’re twelve.” (Source: Gravity Falls) (Justin Seaver)

Connor: If there's no pot, I'm going home. (Source: Grey's Anatomy) (Connor Urquhart)

Jonas (to Samantha): No offense, you know that you’re my sister and that I love you, but let’s face it, you’re a nightmare! (Source: iCarly) (Jonas Corbin)

Morgan: What’s up with you? Connor: What do you mean? Morgan: You have been nice and helpful and considerate all day. What’s your game? (Source: iCarly) (Morgan Urquhart, Connor Urquhart)

Chloe: The only thing I give for free is attitude! (Source: Jem) (Chloe Seaver)

Morgan: Clowns are not normal people. (Source: Junie B. Jones) (Morgan Urquhart)

Brad: You should be ashamed of yourself. Mia: You're right. I should be ashamed of myself. But I never am. (Source: King of the Hill) (Brad Thompson, Mia Thompson)

Richard: I know Samantha is very sorry and didn't mean it. Samantha: Very sorry. Richard: See? Samantha: But I did mean it. Richard: Samantha! (Source: Lilo and Stitch) (Richard Corbin, Samantha Corbin)

Chloe: Why is your mom so mean? Kiera: I guess when you find something you're really good at, you just stick with it. (Source: Malcolm in the Middle) (Chloe Seaver, Kiera Bernhardt)

Mark: Guys, Halloween isn't a date on the calendar. Nick: Yeah, it is. It's the 31st. Mark: No, Halloween is in your hearts. Every time a little kid cries in fear that's Halloween. As long as you carry the spirit of destruction and vandalism in your hearts, every day is Halloween. Jared: pointing to a calendar No, look, it's the 31st. (Source: Malcolm in the Middle) (Mark Seaver, Nick Murphy, Jared Murphy)

Mark: What's the matter, Mom? Valerie: What does it say on this jar? Mark: "Valerie R. Seaver." Valerie: Well I'm glad someone around here can read. The jar holds fourteen pickles. I had three yesterday, two for lunch today, and one and a half for snack. And now there are six and a half pickles in this jar. Simple math indicates… Mark: Are you counting the one in your hand? Valerie: Okay, false alarm. (Source: Malcolm in the Middle) (Mark Seaver, Valerie Seaver)

Valerie: At what age did you just accept that your life is a piece of rotten garbage and always will be? Donna: Twenty-two. (Source: Malcolm in the Middle) (Valerie Seaver, Donna Corbin)

Connor: Am I in hell? Morgan: No, Connor. If you were in hell, you’d be on a throne and the devil would be packing. (Source: Married… with Children) (Connor Urquhart, Morgan Urquhart)

Connor: Mark always seems like Mr. Slickster Cool-guy, but he’s actually hiding his emotions under a very thick layer of Axe body spray. (Source: Modern Family) (Connor Urquhart)

Mia: Sorry I aggravated you. But just so you know, a lot of people think I’m adorable. (Source: Modern Family) (Mia Thompson)

Everett: You know, I raised two fully functional daughters. Nina: You have two daughters I don't know about? (Source: Modern Family) (Everett Chapman, Nina Chapman)

Valerie: Chloe likes to win. When she was 8, a little Girl Scout friend of hers bragged she could sell the most cookies. Damned if Chloe didn’t walk the neighborhood till she got blisters on her feet, and won by 10 boxes. Best part is, Chloe wasn’t even a Girl Scout. (Source: Modern Family) (Valerie Seaver)

Jonas: Mia! Were you following me? Mia: Yes- I mean no- I mean, maybe! (Source: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic) (Jonas Corbin, Mia Thompson)

Alicia: I'm so frustrated, I could just kick something! lightly taps vase with her foot, barely making it rock (Source: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic) (Alicia Ramsey)

Adrian: I am a father. Kiera: Terra's a ferret, Adrian. Adrian: She is my blood! (Source: New Girl) (Adrian Bernhardt, Kiera Bernhardt)

Morgan: Feeling better? Connor: The yelling’s on the inside instead of the outside now. (Source: Paranatural) (Morgan Urquhart, Connor Urquhart)

Chloe: When people get too close to me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know how I really don't care about them. Jonas: Fascinating. Chloe: Glad you agree, Joseph. (Source: Parks and Recreation) (Chloe Seaver, Jonas Corbin)

Connor: I can't go because I don't want to. (Source: Parks and Recreation) (Connor Urquhart)

Kiera: Terra, this has been a very bad week for me. What can you do when everything seems hopeless? Terra: licks Kiera on the cheek Kiera: That's good advice! (Source: Peanuts) (Kiera Bernhardt, Terra)

Nick: I'm gonna have to think about that. Mark: Great. Then I'll never know. (Source: Pelswick) (Nick Murphy, Mark Seaver)

Kiera: Chloe's been suspended! Jonas: For what? Kiera: Violating school code number 74. Jonas: Um, "don't ever have fun doing anything, ever"? Kiera: That's 73. It's the dress code. Jonas: Foxwood has a dress code? (Source: Pelswick) (Kiera Bernhardt, Jonas Corbin)

Jared: It's a stop sign, Nick. It doesn't change to green. Nick: Oh… oh yeah. (Source: Pelswick) (Jared Murphy, Nick Murphy)

Stephen: Adrian, don't you think you're being a little harsh with your sister? Adrian: No. I know what boys are like. I'm one. (Source: Pelswick) (Stephen Bernhardt, Adrian Bernhardt)

Nate: It’s called polarity! You can’t have two positives or two negatives. Kiera: Oh, you can have two negatives. Just look at my parents. (Source: Phineas and Ferb) (Nate Kellerman, Kiera Bernhardt)

Jonas: Care to come with us? Connor: And spoil my carefully calculated air of selfishness and unconcern? Not until the last second, thank you very much. (Source: Phineas and Ferb) (Jonas Corbin, Connor Urquhart)

Chloe: Mark, are you crying? Mark: No, I'm sweating through my eyes. (Source: Phineas and Ferb) (Chloe Seaver, Mark Seaver)

Mark: Promise me something, Nick- NEVER BREED. Nick: I'll try. (Source: Pinky and the Brain) (Mark Seaver, Nick Murphy)

Jared: Aw, what?! I wanted to be player one! Nick: Jared, I'M player one. YOU'RE player two. Jared: I don't wanna be player two! He just digs with the sucky pickaxe. I want the one with the shovel. Nick: Jared, they're exactly the same! Jared: Then why don't YOU be player two? Nick: scoffs I'm not using that stinky pickaxe. Jared: HAH! SEE?! (Source: Regular Show) (Jared Murphy, Nick Murphy)

Zane: After what happened to Aya-chan that last episode, I couldn't sleep for days. Sarah: Zane, have you talked to a psychiatrist about this? Zane: He didn't understand. (Source: Rugrats) (Zane Kessler, Sarah Reinholt)

Jonas: If you wanna be a winner, you have to learn the four Fs of leadership: Fearlessness, Fairness, Firmness, and Control. Nate: "Control" isn't an F. Jonas: Well then it's…three Fs and a C. Chloe: Sounds like your report card. (Source: Salute Your Shorts) (Jonas Corbin, Nate Kellerman, Brad Thompson)

Mark: You know what makes us a team? Nick: We all wear the same color tank tops! (Source: Salute Your Shorts) (Mark Seaver, Nick Murphy)

Jared: Um, Nick, Mark just gave half the peace sign to Principal Mazlish back there. Nick: Which half? (Source: Salute Your Shorts) (Jared Murphy, Nick Murphy)

singing at a school assembly Nate: Foxwood High… Kiera: We hold you in our heart… Brad: And when we think about you- Jonas: It makes me wanna fart! students laugh Principal Mazlish: It's "I hope we never part"! Now get it right or pay the price! (Source: Salute Your Shorts) (Nate Kellerman, Kiera Bernhardt, Brad Thompson, Jonas Corbin, Viktor Mazlish)

Mark: I'm sorry I ate your Skittles. Chloe: I’m sorry I pushed you off the bench. Mark: It's okay. Wait. When did you- Chloe: pushes Mark off the bench Mark: I deserved that. (Source: Sam and Cat) (Mark Seaver, Chloe Seaver)

Brad: Have you asked Kiera out yet? Jonas: Well, technically not yet, but in my mind, we already have children. (Source: Saved by the Bell) (Brad Thompson, Jonas Corbin)

Connor: If someone is standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and they can’t decide what they want in the half an hour it took to get to the register, I should be allowed to kill them. (Source: Scrubs) (Connor Urquhart)

Mark: Hey, idiot. Jonas: turns around Mark: Heh. I said "idiot" and you turned around. (Source: Scrubs) (Mark Seaver, Jonas Corbin)

Jonas: I feel like my old self again: totally inadequate, completely insecure. (Source: Seinfeld) (Jonas Corbin)

Adrian: I never think of myself as being a ferret owner. Terra's more like a friend. (Source: Snoopy Come Home) (Adrian Bernhardt)

Alicia: I’m going to start being more assertive, if that’s okay with everyone. (Source: Someecards) (Alicia Ramsey)

Chloe (to Connor): ♪ Here he is, the biggest douche in the universe. In all the galaxy, there’s no bigger douche than you. You’ve reached the top. The pinnacle of douchedom. Good going douche, your dreams have come true. ♪ (Source: South Park) (Chloe Seaver)

Chloe: Tell him off, Alicia! Assert yourself! Alicia: That's my ice cream cone. Chloe: Great, now let him have it! Alicia: You can have it. (Source: Spongebob Squarepants) (Chloe Seaver, Alicia Ramsey)

Kiera: Jonas…I'm not perfect. Jonas: See, you have to say that because you're modest, which is just another aspect of your perfection. (Source: Stargate SG-1) (Kiera Bernhardt, Jonas Corbin)

Nate: You should've done this earlier! Jonas: In my defense, I forgot. (Source: Steven Universe) (Nate Kellerman, Jonas Corbin)

Jonas: I thought you didn’t like to play the hero. Mark: Doesn’t mean I don’t know how. (Source: Teen Titans) (Jonas Corbin, Mark Seaver)

Lydia: Morgan! I'm going to try to beat the world record of most spaghetti eaten in one hour. Wanna be my official witness? Morgan: Um… (Source: Teen Titans) (Lydia Renfrew, Morgan Urquhart)

Kiera (about Samantha): Her threats seemed pretty legit for a five-year-old. (Source: Texts from Last Night) (Kiera Bernhardt)

Connor (to Mark): You know, I appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person. (Source: Texts from Last Night) (Connor Urquhart)

Stephen: Kiera, we need to have a talk, as father to daughter. Kiera: Oh, don't worry, Dad. Adrian already had that talk with me. Deborah: faints (Source: The Adventures of Pete and Pete) (Stephen Bernhardt, Kiera Bernhardt, Deborah Bernhardt)

Kiera: Your sister is something else. Brad: We're still trying to figure out what. (Source: The Angry Beavers) (Kiera Bernhardt, Brad Thompson)

Principal Mazlish: Miss Beaumont, do you have something you would like to tell me? Jadyn: Do you want the truth or my side of the story? (Source: The Brak Show) (Viktor Mazlish, Jadyn Beaumont)

Chloe: Being awesome makes me hungry. (Source: The Goldbergs) (Chloe Seaver)

Chloe (about Jonas): He annoys me so much, I just want to kiss his stupid face. (Source: The Goldbergs) (Chloe Seaver)

Brad: What'd you do, Jonas? Jonas: Something stupid, but I don’t want to talk about it. Chloe: Good! We don’t want to hear about it. (Source: The Lion King) (Brad Thompson, Jonas Corbin, Chloe Seaver)

Jared: Oh, Mark, it's just you. Nick: We were afraid it was someone important! (Source: The Lion King) (Jared Murphy, Nick Murphy)

Mark: Chloe? Chloe: Yeah? Mark: I miss Connor. Chloe: I don't. (Source: The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack) (Mark Seaver, Chloe Seaver)

Chloe: I would never say this to Jonas' face, but he is a wonderful person and really smart. Alicia: Why, why wouldn’t you say that to his face? (Source: The Office) (Chloe Seaver, Alicia Ramsey)

Susan: We're off to the Parent/Teacher conference. We'll bring back dinner. Jessica: What are we gonna have? Paul: Well, that depends on what the teachers say, if you've been good, pizza. If you've been bad… uh, let's see… poison. Jessica: What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad? Jadyn: Poison pizza. Paul: Oh no! I'm not making two stops! (Source: The Simpsons) (Susan Beaumont, Jessica Beaumont, Paul Beaumont, Jadyn Beaumont)

Paul: You can’t say that about my kids! Or at least two of ‘em. (Source: The Simpsons) (Paul Beaumont)

Richard: Uh, I'd like some flowers. Valerie: What kind of flowers? Richard: You know, pretty ones, not dead. Valerie: We have some beautiful long-stem roses. They're $55 a dozen. Richard: One, please. (Source: The Simpsons) (Richard Corbin, Valerie Seaver)

Kiera: Why don't you let people see the good in you? Connor: Because when people see good, they expect good. And I don't want to have to live up to anyone's expectations. (Source: The Vampire Diaries) (Kiera Bernhardt, Connor Urquhart)

Jonas: If being cool is a crime, then you can call me- Brad: A law-abiding citizen. (Source: Tiktok) (Jonas Corbin, Brad Thompson)

Jonas: Can someone tell me why my five-year-old half-sister is such a savage? (Source: Tiktok) (Jonas Corbin)

Chloe: Someone needs to explain…no, seriously. Someone needs to explain…why in the world…is my hedgehog so CUTE?! (Source: Tiktok) (Chloe Seaver)

Adrian: I wouldn’t need to learn how to manage my anger if more people would manage their stupidity. (Source: Tiktok) (Adrian Bernhardt)

Kiera (looking at the stars): Isn't it the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? Jonas (looking at her): Yeah, I guess so. (Source: Tumblr) (Kiera Bernhardt, Jonas Corbin)

Connor: A bad reputation is better than no reputation at all. (Source: Tumblr) (Connor Urquhart)

Mark: How do you keep an idiot waiting? Nick: I don't know, how? Mark: I'll tell you later. Nick: Okay. 30 minutes later Nick: Wait a damn second… Mark: laughing (Source: Tumblr) (Mark Seaver, Nick Murphy)

Chloe: eats shrimp Mark: Cannibalism. Chloe: I will punt you through a window. (Source: Tumblr) (Chloe Seaver, Mark Seaver)

Valerie: Who spilled orange juice in the kitchen? Mark: Not me. Chloe: Not me. Justin: Not me. Valerie: What, so the orange juice just spilled itself? Mark: I never did trust that orange juice. (Source: Tumblr) (Valerie Seaver, Mark Seaver, Chloe Seaver, Justin Seaver)

Colin: Are you ever going to listen to me? Peter: Yes. Absolutely. Colin: When? Peter: When you're right. (Source: Tumblr) (Colin Gardner, Peter Gardner)

Connor: I feel weird, like someone took all my problems away and everything is good in the world. Mark: …That's called happiness, Connor. (Source: Tumblr) (Connor Urquhart, Mark Seaver)

Mark: See, the problem with getting older is you get in more and more trouble for decking your siblings. (Source: Tumblr) (Mark Seaver)

Jonas: Why’s Alicia crying? Kiera: She thinks she stepped on a ladybug. Jonas: Thinks? Kiera: It was a red M&M. (Source: Tumblr) (Jonas Corbin, Kiera Bernhardt)

Kiera: picks up Lilith Explain to me why you’re so cute. Lilith: Meow. Kiera: Fascinating. (Source: Tumblr) (Kiera Bernhardt, Lilith)

Mia: Lovey-dovey bitch syndrome is destroying my brain. (Source: Tumblr) (Mia Thompson)

Brad: Who would have thought you have a soft side, Mia? Mia: I don’t. Brad: shows her a picture of Jonas Mia: lips trembling Fuck. (Source: Tumblr) (Brad Thompson, Mia Thompson)

Chloe: I’m short, which means that all my rage is concentrated. (Source: Tumblr) (Chloe Seaver)

Lauren: No! You don’t get any pets after peeing on the carpet! Dandelion: climbs in her lap Lauren: … Lauren: starts petting Dandelion You're lucky you're adorable. (Source: Tumblr) (Lauren Reinholt, Dandelion)

Chloe: Do I look like I give a fuck about you? Jonas: You're holding my hand and gazing into my eyes. (Source: Tumblr) (Chloe Seaver, Jonas Corbin)

Connor: First of all, don’t you ever accuse me of having morals, narrative or otherwise, ever again. (Source: Tumblr) (Connor Urquhart)

Connor: punches Morgan in the shoulder Morgan: Ow! What was that for? Connor: I don't know yet, but I'm sure you've done something. (Source: Tumblr) (Connor Urquhart, Morgan Urquhart)

Connor: You're annoying. Morgan: But you love me. Connor: Doesn't make you any less annoying. (Source: Tumblr) (Connor Urquhart, Morgan Urquhart)

Chloe: Request for you not to be a bitch. Mia: Request denied. (Source: Tumblr) (Chloe Seaver, Mia Thompson)

Morgan: Connor, you’re my brother and I love you. But you are a great big bag of dicks. (Source: Tumblr) (Morgan Urquhart)

Brad: Please, Jonas…after everything we went through together. You can’t do this. Jonas: I'm sorry, Brad. Brad: I'm begging you, don't do it. Jonas: It has to be done… Brad: … Jonas: … Brad: … Jonas (placing a Draw-4 card): Uno. (Source: Tumblr) (Brad Thompson, Jonas Corbin)

Connor: I’m much more than a pretty face. Chloe: Since when do you have a pretty face? (Source: Tumblr) (Connor Urquhart, Chloe Seaver)

Morgan: Sibling fights don’t end in apology. Connor and I just walk around the house and don’t talk to each other for a couple hours and then one of us will pop our head in the other’s room and ask if we want food. (Source: Tumblr) (Morgan Urquhart)

Nick: The fact that I’m considered an adult is both terrifying and hilarious. (Source: Tumblr) (Nick Murphy)

Zane: carves "Zane + Sarah" into a tree Sarah: What a nerd. adds "4-Ever" (Source: Tumblr) (Zane Kessler, Sarah Reinholt)

Mia: How come Jonas still doesn't understand that I like him? Jasmine: All you do is stare at him like a creep, and when you’re actually talking to each other, you’re mean to him. Mia: I'm not mean. That's me flirting. Jasmine: Oh boy. (Source: Tumblr) (Mia Thompson, Jasmine Kessler)

Morgan: You need anger management classes. Connor: You need shut the fuck up classes. (Source: Tumblr) (Morgan Urquhart, Connor Urquhart)

Morgan: When I was six, my brother told me that old people sag because they’re being pulled to hell and I cried. (Source: Tumblr) (Morgan Urquhart)

Nate (bad at flirting): I like your name. Alicia (equally as bad): Thanks, I got it for my birthday. (Source: Tumblr) (Nate Kellerman, Alicia Ramsey)

Alicia: I have to do something scary today. politely asks for something incredibly reasonable (Source: Twitter) (Alicia Ramsey)

Mark: People be like “it cost $0 to be kind” like being mean isn’t free too. (Source: Twitter) (Mark Seaver)

Nate: My problem is that I expect everyone to have common sense, and they don’t. (Source: Twitter) (Nate Kellerman)

Kiera: Cat logic is so simple yet so effective. Don't like something? Smack it as far away from you as possible. Flawless reasoning. (Source: Twitter) (Kiera Bernhardt)

watching a movie Samantha: What's happening? Jonas: I don't know. Samantha: Why not? Jonas: You keep asking questions. (Source: Twitter) (Samantha Corbin, Jonas Corbin)

Donna: Help me fold the laundry. Jonas: Why? Donna: So we can put it away. Jonas: Or we could just leave it in the laundry basket and pull it out as we need it. Donna: There’s a flaw in your plan, but I’m not seeing it. (Source: Twitter) (Donna Corbin, Jonas Corbin)

Kiera: I tell Lilith “I know” whenever she talks to me, but truthfully? I have no idea. (Source: Twitter) (Kiera Bernhardt)

Connor: I hate to brag, but I can make a therapist anxious. (Source: Twitter) (Connor Urquhart)

Nate: I swear I'm the only one here with a braincell… Jonas and Brad: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell! (Source: Twitter) (Nate Kellerman, Jonas Corbin, Brad Thompson)

Principal Mazlish: We have a ten dollar fine for swearing on campus. Connor: Shit. Principal Mazlish: Pay up. Connor: hands him a twenty Keep the fucking change. (Source: Twitter) (Viktor Mazlish, Connor Urquhart)

Lauren: As an older sister, I can confirm we are the backbone of society and deserve financial compensation. (Source: Twitter) (Lauren Reinholt)

Jonas: Whoever said that all women are delicate and friendly obviously never met Chloe. (Source: Twitter) (Jonas Corbin)

Connor: Anything that comes out of your mouth is stupid. Morgan: Connor. Connor: internal rage (Source: Twitter) (Connor Urquhart, Morgan Urquhart)

Thom (watching the news): Some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium. Kyle (covered in ink): Maybe the squid was being a dick. (Source: Twitter) (Thom Anderson, Kyle Levy)

Kiera: When I woke up this morning, I meditated, did 50 push-ups, drank green tea and went for a 30-minute walk. Jonas: When I woke up, I spent an hour just waking up. (Source: Twitter) (Kiera Bernhardt, Jonas Corbin)

Connor: Today was awful. Morgan (trying to be positive): Tomorrow is a new day! Connor: Is that a threat? (Source: Twitter) (Connor Urquhart, Morgan Urquhart)

Kiera (babysitting Samantha): Hey. Let’s play a game. It’s called “See who can be quiet the longest.” Samantha: Cool! My mommy and daddy love that game! (Source: Up) (Kiera Bernhardt, Samantha Corbin)

Connor: I’d ask why you’re upset, but I don’t care. (Source: Victorious) (Connor Urquhart)

Lauren: I'm a lesbian. Jessica: I thought you were American. (Source: Vine) (Lauren Reinholt, Jessica Beaumont)

Mia: I saw you hanging out with Jonas yesterday. Chloe: M-Mia! It's not what you think! Mia: I WON'T HESITATE, BITCH! cocks toy gun (Source: Vine) (Mia Thompson, Chloe Seaver)

Sarah: There’s only three things guaranteed in life: death, taxes, and a group of theater kids eating at Denny’s after their last production of Hamlet. (Source: Vine) (Sarah Reinholt)

Kiera: When playing Mario Kart, there's that one friend. Jonas: Alright! Let's do Rainbow Road! Brad and Chloe: … Kiera: Don't be that friend. Jonas: screams as the gang lock him in a closet (Source: Vine) (Kiera Bernhardt, Jonas Corbin, Brad Thompson, Chloe Seaver)

Mark: Please, be nice to my siblings. I’m the only one allowed to torment them. (Source: Winx Club) (Mark Seaver)

Jonas: I love when you pretend to be mean. Mark: Well, I’m not pretending, but thank you. (Source: Wizards of Waverly Place) (Jonas Corbin, Mark Seaver)

Brad: God, I love Nephilim, there is no one better. Jonas: Wrong, Kiera is the most amazing person in the world. (Source: YouTube) (Brad Thompson, Jonas Corbin)

Lydia: I wonder who invented the meatball. Morgan: What do you mean, 'invented'? Lydia: Well, some guy back in the fifteenth century must have said, "Yes, meat is good, but it would be even better in ball form." (Source: Zoey 101) (Lydia Renfrew, Morgan Urquhart)

Jonas: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate? Nate: I’m a ‘I’m not paying $600 for Photoshop’ pirate. (Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator) (Jonas Corbin, Nate Kellerman)

#incorrect quotes #jonas corbin's guide to life #my ocs #long post #really long post #don't click the keep reading unless you have time to spare

0 notes

i-writes-things · 3 years ago

Text

Well, shit.

Avengers x Baby!Romanoff!reader

Request-Can you write something we’re the reader is 1 and since Nat has been going away on missions a lot lately Tony has been babysitting. Due to the fact that baby Romanoff has been spending so much time with Uncle Tony her first word is a swear word and Nat comes home to find her baby daughter running around the compound, giggling and repeating the swear word whilst everyone is unsuccessfully trying to get her to stop. @youre-a-total--poser

Warnings- Much cursing,

Not my Gifs*

Ever since you had turned 1 years old, Natasha had started to go on more missions and was at the Compound less and less, as her missions started to pile up, Tony would babysit you for her more and more

Ah shit!

Fuck.

Nooo fucking hell.

why the shit. WHY THE SHIT?!?!

That bitch

Damn it.

How the hell is that supposed to fucking work??

Tony was very aware that he would curse in front of you, but mostly never thought anything of it, but he would profusely make sure that he didn't curse at you, just while you were around, cursing at other people or what ever invention he was working on

"Tony? Can you watch her?" Natasha would ask Tony about twice a week now

He was always willing too, he thought you were just the cutest little thing in the world

" 'Course Romanoff, will when you be back?" He would always ask when, so if something were to happen then he would know exactly how long he had til he was to die

Natasha kisses you on the cheek making you giggle and hands you to Tony "Bye baby, mommy will be back tomorrow!" She said to you and looks back up to Tony

"I'll be back tomorrow by lunch, Tony. If anything happens to her, your dead." She had a stone-cold face at Tony, but it melted when she looked at you and smiled at your little smile

"bye Y/n/n.." After giving you one more peck on the cheek she left..

"Well little Romanoff, whats say we build you a iron man, huh?" He chuckled as you didn't respond, from sucking on your thumb. he walked towards the Lab with you in his arms safely

---

"Romanoff gone again?" Sam asked as he made a silly face at you during lunch

"Yup, seems like I'm the most responsible,"

"Not." Bucky commented

"Because, Nat at always picks me to watch her child."

"Tony that's because you are the only one of all of us that is free the most. Not the most responsible." Sam explained to Tony

Tony scuffed "Fuck you Sam."

Wanda looked between the two, waiting..

"See Tony, you really shouldn't curse in front of a baby. Even I know that." Bucky says proudly agreeing with Sam

"Fuck the both of you. She'll be fine. I barely curse anyhow." Tony says and Sam puts his head in his hands obviously annoyed with Tony

He picks you up and takes the barely eaten PB&J he had made you, with him for you to eat in the Lab

----

"Alrighty, see this is so much better, than the shitty Kitchen, isn't?" He asks you mindlessly as he sits you in the high chair that stays in the Lab for when you come by

Your eyes follow him as he walks around looking for things and you shout random gibberish to him

"Oh I see, good point Y/n!" He talks to you as he works on touching up his latest Iron Man suit

You play with the PB&J Tony out down in front of you, trying to eat some of it, but decide its no good and continue to play with your food...

"Shit!" Tony shouted after jamming his finger on the metal suit

"Shit!" You yell at him in between gibberish words and started to giggle as Tony stops abruptly, the tool he was holding hit the ground, hard.

You screamed and yelled "SHIT!!" Tony hurries over to you and whispered

"What did you just say?" He is overwhelmed and shocked and scared for what your mother would do to him if she heard you say that

"Shit." You giggled reaching out to try and take Tony's goggles off of him

He leaned back up

"shit- No, fuck- No. This is bad, so bad." He groaned "She's gonna fu- She's gonna kill me."

He turned back around towards you "That's a no good word Y/n."

"shit" "No Y/n." You giggled again in your seat "shit shit shit shit-" Tony covered your mouth with his hand and shushed you "Your mommy is going to be very mad at Uncle Tony unless you stop."

You looked at him for a moment silently and he hesitantly moved his hand away, your mouth fell open and you closed it, as you looked away towards the window, with birdies flying all around

Tony followed your eye line

"Oh, you like the birds, they are quite nice. Just don't say that word and we will be just fine.. Just fine." He walked back over to the suit hoping you would forget the whole damn thing

-----

Dinner

"Y/n seems fine, what do you mean, Tony." Steve asked as you smacked the table with food on your hands

"Its not that, she eats just fine. She said a bad word." Tony explains to Steve

"She said something?? She hasn't said her first word yet, according to Nat."

Tony almost buckled over onto his knees

"And who did she hear it from, again?" Wanda asks sarcastically, gearing the obvious question towards Tony

Tony glares at her

"Her first word was a curse word then?" Sam asks almost amused

"Shut the fuck up Sam. Shut the fuck up." Tony was holding onto the table for support

"Tony.." Bucky gestures towards Y/n now quietly listening to them and being mesmerized by Sam's random colored t-shirt

"Oh, whatever.." Tony responses annoyed throwing his hands in the air

"Has she said it again?" Steve asks Tony, eyeing you

"No not at all." Steve nods "What if we don't tell Nat." Tony suggests and Sam, Bucky, Steve, and Wanda all respond at once

"Tony, no." "Absolutely not." "She would kill us. Literally." "Oh my god.."

"Alright fine. Fine."

Tony picked you up for bed time

------

"Y/n, are you gonna embarrass Uncle Tony in front of your mom? no? Thats right your not gonna." He coos hoping you will latch on to the idea of not saying a swear word

He puts you in your onesie pajamas, and reads you 'Corduroy' your favorite book, the one that made you go to sleep the fastest anyway

"Alright Y/n, tomorrow is your time to shine, so please no cursing, alright? Alright!" He says and leaves your room especially exhausted and goes to bed for the night

-------

The next morning you wake up wayyy to early

5am and crying.

Natasha wouldn't be back til lunch time and that gave Tony a whole Seven hours til Twelve o'clock, usually lunchtime at the Compound to make sure you didn't curse

--------

Breakfast

"Good morning, little Y/n." Steve cooed as you rapped your little hand around two of his fingers and waved them in the air

You smiled at him softly

You liked Steve, you were very use to him being around, because of the fact that your mommy and him were together alot

"Tony, has she said anything?" Wanda asked pouring herself a glass of milk

"Nope. Not a word, I'm just hoping she'll stay like that."

"I don't know Tony," Sam says sarcastically "Y/n is a pretty smart girl." He continued looking between Tony and you

"I'm counting on it," Starts Bucky "for a good laugh when Natasha finds out." He says taking a sip of his drink

Tony glares at him "Y/n, what do you have to say about all this?" Tony asks you and everyone silently awaits your response

You were wide eyed looking around the table and finally, "gueijwixnnwncyweao" You say speaking gibberish

Tony signs in relief and goes back to eating his own breakfast

"I agree." Sam agrees with you about whatever you had just said

"Sir?" Jarvis said aloud to the room asking Tony

"Yeah, what up Jarvis?" Tony asked casually chewing his bacon

"Miss Romanoff has arrived home from her mission, and is headed your way now."

"Well, shit-" Tony says but immediately stops and looks at you, everyone else in the Kitchen following his actions to look at you

You stare at Tony "shit." You say back to him quietly

Sam groans, Bucky laughs, Wanda excuses herself, and Steve and Tony just stare at you, bewildered

"This is your fault, Steve." Tony says panicked

"This is not my fault, Stark." Tony throws his hands in the air at him annoyingly

"shit." You say along with some gibberish

"No, Y/n, sweetie you can't say that. That is a very bad word."

You stare at Steve

He stares back

"Mommy's home, Y/n!" You perk up at the sound of your mother's voice from down the hall and yell some gibberish

Natasha walks into the silent kitchen, and besides you whining and making grabby hands for her, everyone else was in shock, awaiting Tony's death.

Natasha smiled softly at you, and after setting her purse down she found her way over to you

"I think I have to go and train or something.." Sam gets up to leave

Natasha eyes him and reads the room before picking you up

She turns to Tony, as you continue to whine and clap your hands on the table trying to get your mothers attention

"What happened, Stark?" She crossed her arms and sent Tony a death glare

He looked away "Nothing."

"Definitely something." Bucky says amused

Natasha turns her eye sight to Bucky "Ask Y/n, I think she knows." Bucky responds, Natasha thought that maybe you had said your first word while she was gone, and she turned around towards you quickly

You reached your cheerio stained hands out towards her and she picked you up, you gave her a big hug, and you felt safe and sleepy all of a sudden

"Did you say your first word while mommy was gone?" she asked you quietly

Tony and Bucky held there breath

"shit" you said

"What?" Natasha was confused but figured it out pretty fast

You leaned away from her body "Shit!" You said excitedly, throwing your hands in the air

Natasha snapped her head in Tony's direction and he ran out of the room, with Bucky behind him

She turned back to you "You can not say that word, Y/n/n. You hear me?" You just look at her and lean your head back on her shoulder

"That's my girl." She said swaying you in her arms

"Mommy missed you, silly girl." She rolled her eyes "Uncle Tony is really gonna get it." She kissed your head and walked out of the room...

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littlegodzilla · 2 years ago

Text

Hi!! I'm here again with a new chapter! From now on the time and the plot will be a little faster because I'm not going to write all the TV show plot again like I said before.

Anyways I hope you'll like it too.

Enjoy!!

Your Name Masterlist

***

Your Name.

Daryl Dixon x Reader.

Mini serie chapter 5.

Warnings: Fight. Bad language. Violence. TwD Gore.

Words: 3500

Summary: The Dixons try to take you to a safe place.

Taglist: @phoenixblack89 @browneyes528 @lilythemadqueen @pncnsc @ruinedbythehobbit @thefemininemystiquee @green-eyedladywrites @hail-yourselves @ravenwings73 @spenciepoo338

≈≈≈≈

≈≈≈≈≈

Part 5.

You're grateful to Daryl for convincing his brother to take you to one of these camps. You don't know what exactly they've been discussing, but you know that Daryl has stuck up for you. The two brothers have taken much of their supplies and arsenal of weapons out of the old cabin and stowed them in the back of the truck next to Merle's motorcycle.

Yes, the three of you are in the same vehicle, Daryl drives following his brother's directions and Merle keeps bugging you, prodding you with absurd questions and making comments from the Middle Ages, but you try to ignore it, it's the price you have to pay because they are helping you get somewhere safe, so you can put up with it.

You don't know how long you've been driving when Daryl decides to stop. It's late afternoon, the sun is starting to fade, it may not be very safe to be out there when night falls. The Dixon brothers get out of the van, but as you go to do the same, Daryl closes the door.

"Stay, we're gonna get food, ain't move from here, it'll be safer."

"I can help." You offer hearing Merle laugh.

"No, ya can't." Daryl assures you and the two men walk away camouflaging themselves with the forest.

You snap like a little girl and lay back on the seat, maybe if they didn't see you you'd make sure you were safe too. Your eyes get lost in the old and gnawed roof of the van, without realizing it you fall asleep.

***

"Can I ask already what yer gettin' out of all this?" Daryl hears Merle speak behind his back and rolls his eyes.

"Get out of what?"

"I dunno, that's why I ask. Has she promised ya anythin' for takin' her to those shelters? A handjob? A blowjob? Fuck at least she'll let ya fuck her ass, right?" he keeps asking and Daryl stops abruptly.

"Is it that y'only think with yer dick or what?"

"When it comes to bitches like that yes, or is it that ya do it because it comes from yer heart?" he asks wryly, but when his brother doesn't answer, his smile disappears. "C'mon, don't fuck with me."

"She's just a kid, Merle."

"Better yet!" she despairs. "I bet she's got her pussy so tight that..."

"Enough, man!" Daryl turns with a frown. "Y'ain't gonna touch her, hear me? We'll take her to camp, leave her there and forget about her, okay?"

"Okay, okay, what a mood..." Merle growls and as he approaches his brother, he punches him hard in the stomach that knocks Daryl out of breath for a few seconds. "But ain't let it go to yer head again, li' brother, next time I won't be so nice." He warns him and walks away leaving him there recovering. "And now let's go huntin', I'm fuckin' starvin'."

A knock on the truck jolts you awake. You don't know how long you've been there alone, but it's starting to get dark, you lie still waiting for Daryl or Merle to open the door, but you don't hear anything except another thump against the back of the vehicle. Very slowly you raise your head to check the rear view mirrors to see what's going on and discover that there are several infected around the van. You lie back down feeling that you can't stop shaking, anxiety taking hold of you again. The knocking keeps happening, they must be moving around the van looking for something, you get up again seeing them start to pile into the back of the van, surely attracted by the supplies Daryl and Merle have taken from the cabin. You are excited for a few seconds to find Daryl and Merle appear through the trees in the woods motioning for you to stay where you are.

You nod your head watching as they circle the van to attack the infected. Merle stabs several of them as Daryl uses his crossbow and another knife. You tense up and are about to scream, but you restrain yourself, one of those beings is approaching Daryl, but he hasn't noticed. You move nervously, Merle is busy and you know he can't help his brother. You look at the gun and the knife on the dashboard and tremble but finally you grab your knife carefully stepping out of the van approaching the infected, you hesitate, you hesitate, you don't know what to do, but he has sensed your presence and slowly turns towards you, now Daryl is no longer in danger, you are. You close your eyes and with a scream you throw an arm forward and plunge the knife into the other person's head, it goes through it without problems, you hear a new gasp and the body falls to the ground. Slowly you open your eyes seeing Daryl looking at you with wide eyes and gasping for breath, you look down and the infected is dead at your feet.

"Ya lost yer mind?!" Daryl scolds you by nudging you away from the corpse. "Ain't tell ya to stay in the car?"

"I-I helped you! You didn't see this infected and I..."

"And nothin', when yer given an order, ya follow it!"

"Fuck you!" You shout angrily at him, giving him a shove as well.

"Hey, couple, stop arguing, this place isn't safe, we'd better get the hell out of here." Merle speaks from the other side of the van getting your attention.

You both turn to look at him to tell him to shut up, but he's right, that argument is going nowhere. You snort in annoyance and hop back in the van, Daryl leaves the hunt in the back and climbs into the passenger side as well, this time Merle will be driving.

It's been hours of driving since you left Senoia, Merle and Daryl have swapped driving, but finally decided to stop to rest a little. You open your eyes to find yourself squeezed between the two brothers, none of the three have gotten out of the car, Merle is trying to grope you and Daryl has fallen asleep holding your wrist. You smile at the absurdity of the situation and your movement unveils them. Without much talking you have some corned beef for breakfast as you refuse to eat squirrels, they're like little rats strung on sticks and you're not desperate enough to try it yet.

After a few more hours of driving you finally arrive at one of those military bases where they have prepared shelter for the survivors. You smile sadly, it is time to say goodbye to the Dixon brothers, you feel remorse, you know you have diverted them from their own path, you don't know what their plans were, but you are sure that they were not going to get close to a place like that. You remember the name on your forearm and unconsciously squeeze the area. Maybe you should tell them, maybe not, maybe there were more Dixon's out there. You sigh and look at them as they bring the van to a complete stop.

"Thanks for the ride." You tell them sincerely.

"Is that all? I thought ya were gonna thank us some other way."

"Ya sure ya'll be okay?" Daryl makes you ignore Merle's words, though you've grown accustomed to his provocations and no longer take them seriously.

"Yeah, don't worry, they're military, where could I be safer?" you joke smiling nervously.

"My brother what he means is if ya'd rather ain't stay with us."

"I didn't say that! Let her go, she's just slowing us down!" Daryl defends himself barking and you snort, in the short time you've been with them you've learned that Daryl defends himself with insults and bad replies so he doesn't feel trapped.

"I hope you guys have lots of luck." You wish them heartily and open the van by jumping out.

You're pulling away when you hear the vehicle's horn honk, you turn and see Merle waving goodbye to you with an obscene gesture, you can't help but laugh raising your middle finger in response. You're back on your way to the base gates when you freeze.

"Shit, shit!" shout the Dixon brothers inside the van speeding off.

A huge group of infected appear out of nowhere walking towards the entrance of the military base, towards where you are.

"Get out of there, stupid!" You hear the two Dixon's shouting.

You start to get used to their insults, but this time you ignore them by running towards their direction, you hear the hiss of several arrows passing by you accompanied by Merle's gunfire. Without a word you get into the van and they do the same starting up and driving away.

"That was yer plan? To die in there?!"

"I didn't know there were infected!"

"How could there not be! The more people there are together the more contagions there will be!" Merle scolds you and you huff.

"I just wanted to find a safe place and stop giving you guys trouble!"

"Well guess what, ya didn't get one or the other."

"We can find another place." Daryl then offers. "They don't all have to be the same, maybe we'll find another camp..."

"It would be best if the three of us stick together." He is silenced by Merle. "The fewer the better."

None of you have anything else to say, it is possible that Merle is right and it is preferable not to say it or it will get tiresome the rest of the trip. Again you hit the road, but this time Daryl opts for the old dirt roads that are not used so often anymore, you may have fewer unwanted encounters there. The trip is longer and more tortuous, the shock absorbers of that jalopy are as old as the rest of the vehicle and every bump is like a new torture, Merle watches his rifle, Daryl drives biting his fingernail, his eyes fixed on the road, his mind working at full speed, maybe thinking about what new door to throw you back in and lose sight of you forever. You sigh and lean against the window, staring out into nothingness.

"'M sorry." You hear and come to, you don't even know how long you've been lost in thought, but the van has stopped again.

"What?" you turn your head realizing it's just you and Daryl inside the vehicle.

"Sorry the camp thing didn't go well..." He repeats looking sideways at you.

"Yeah..." you smile a little, Daryl's way of apologizing for things seems tender to you as he looks embarrassed and shy like a little kid. "Thanks for saving me, again."

"What were we going to do? They were coming after ya."

"Maybe if Merle was driving he would have left me there." You try to joke and hear Daryl snort.

"He was the first one to jump out and get ya, I dunno if it has anything to do with that being his fated person." He comments matter-of-factly and you feel your whole body tremble at his words, you unconsciously tug harder on the sleeves of your t-shirt.

"No, no, I already told you Susy wasn't my name, besides I highly doubt Merle..."

"What, could he have a person?"

"Let's see... Who could be with him?"

"Why not? Because he's a Dixon?"

"No, I..." You shut your mouth then as you realize what you've said and curse, if Merle can't have anyone because he's a Dixon, Daryl can't either. "I didn't mean to..." You shut your mouth as Daryl gets out of the van and slams the door shut.

You sigh long sigh rolling up the sleeve of your t-shirt, "D.ixon" is still there and it's not going to magically disappear. You take a deep breath and get out of the van to help Daryl empty everything in the back.

Daryl gives you the backpacks that weigh the least, you intuit that they are clothes and a few other things, then you realize another big mistake. You left home without a measly backpack with some clothes so you could change in case of emergency and not be able to return home. You shake your head, you'll have to figure out what you can, I'm sure in the cabin you just stopped at you'll find something you can use.

After Daryl loads you up with four different bags your eyes spot some red containers and you frown slightly.

"Gasoline?"

"Last time we went to a gas station things got really bad." You hear Merle next to you. "Some guy wanted to keep all the supply and when he saw those things coming he went on a shooting spree." A dark smile forms on his face and you look at him in surprise. "Imagine what happened, since then we carry something with us and go carefully."

"I understand... Is that why we're staying here?"

"For now, we have to figure out where to go and refuel the tank." Daryl nods giving Merle some of the prey they've hunted.

The two enter the cabin first, weapons raised looking for any sign of life threatening, or bloodthirsty dead. No one appears, nor do you hear of anyone fleeing to try and save their lives, the cabin is empty, for you and luckily with some supplies and clothing.

"Thank you." You whisper to nowhere as you enter one of the rooms and find women's clothes, not your size, but it will do, you need to change and don't mind feeling a little cramped as you wash your clothes.

"Wow baby, they're going to pop off." Merle jokes when he sees you show up, you do feel your boobs a little tight, but ignore his comment.

"I'm going to do laundry, do you guys need me to wash anything for you?"

As soon as you say it, you regret it, as you now find yourself surrounded by a pile of horrible looking clothes that give off an even worse smell, but you want to be helpful, they have helped you, so it's the least you can do.

The more time you spend with the Dixons the more you realize they are simple men. Daryl is; he gets up early every morning, goes out hunting, comes back, prepares the food, and you're on your way again. Merle is a bit more chaotic, some days he accompanies Daryl on the hunt, some days he sleeps late, some days he just protests until he becomes unbearable, and some days you suddenly find him drunk or high and it makes you uncomfortable.

Sometimes it surprises you that he and Daryl are brothers.

"Ya'll sleep in the van." Daryl tells you as he finishes setting up the campsite where you'll be spending the night.

"Don't be like that, Darylina, she can sleep with me, we'll have a better time."

"And close the doors." Insists the little Dixon and you smile.

"Okay..."

***

"Can you teach me?" You ask him one afternoon when he finishes setting up camp and Daryl looks at you confused.

"Teach what?"

"How to use a gun, how to hunt, how to defend myself..." You list and hear him snort.

"No."

"Why not?" you feel a little disappointed.

"Because ain't wanna lose any fingers, or have ya blow our heads off by mistake, plus ammo is limited..."

"Teach me how to make arrows." You insist and he scratches his beard nervously.

"Why are ya so intense? Why can't ya be quiet for once? Sit to the side, not talking, not bothering, not doing anything. Yer giving us enough work already, don't ya think?" he snaps and the excitement you were feeling disappears in a flash.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, I'm sorry." You whisper getting up from the floor, stepping away to do exactly what he's asked you to do.

***

"What ya done already?" Merle asks after a few minutes approaching his brother.

"Leave me alone." Daryl growls focusing on his crossbow.

"I'm trying to get her panties down and all yer doing is screwing up my plan" He protests and grabs his brother by the back of the neck. His hand closes like a clamp and Daryl shrinks back out of inertia. "Where did she go?"

"What yer talkin' about?" He frowns in confusion, Merle points to the camp, but you're not there.

"I hope she just went to take a piss and came back like an obedient little bitch, or I'm gonna deal with ya." he threatens him by rudely releasing him.

Daryl could respond, form a fight between the two of you like they did when you were kids and Merle came home drunk from some party, but Daryl rubs the back of his neck, his eyes searching the whole place for you, it's true you're gone. That worries him, you don't know how to defend yourself, if you run into one of those things.

He growls in exasperation and gets up from the ground carrying his crossbow to go looking for you, Merle follows close behind with a small smile on his face.

***

Luckily you don't run into any infected, but you come across another group, next to an abandoned quarry, with several women, children, several men of different ages. You get a little excited because there are more people who are not infected, also they don't seem hostile, there are children and older people, maybe you and the Dixon brothers could join the group.

"H-hello." You greet as you approach them, they quickly stand at attention and you raise your hands in peace. "I-I'm not armed, nor infected." You quickly explain.

"Who are you, how did you get here, are you alone?" A man asks pointing a gun at you.

"No, no!" You quickly introduce yourself to defuse the situation. "I'm on my way, there are some camps set up on military bases, I'm going with two..." You shut up for a moment because you don't know how to define the Dixons, friends? Are they your friends?

You don't finish explaining when you are surrounded by Daryl and Merle with guns raised causing some chaos and nervousness in the camp, the women run to protect the children, the men take out their own guns pointing them all at each other, it is clear that some of them are not used to guns, but they will do anything to defend their families. Hurriedly you stand in front of Daryl and Merle demanding that they put their guns down.

"It's a camp of uninfected people! There are children!" You explain to them.

Merle doesn't seem to mind, but when you say the word 'children', Daryl automatically lowers his crossbow and looks for them with his eyes. His face transforms into a grimace and he gestures to his brother to calm down, finally Merle lowers the rifle but continues with that haughty attitude that he is so characteristic of and that you dislike so much.

"If y'share yer supplies with us we'll get out of here without any trouble." The eldest Dixon speaks.

"No! We're not going to steal your supplies. This has all been a misunderstanding." You tell them and sigh. "This is Daryl and Merle Dixon, the three of us have been traveling from Senoia for a few days now, we don't mean to intrude..."

"My name is Shane." The one who looks like the leader approaches and extends his hand to you, you give each other a gentle shake and you see that he seems calmer. "This camp has a lot of mouths to feed, I don't mean to be rude, but you have to understand..."

"We understand, but we could be of help." You look at the two brothers and smile. "They know how to hunt, track, they are good in the woods, we could offer you food and protection in exchange for staying here."

"What?" They both say at the same time. "Hold it right there, kitty, no one bargained for that." Merle spits, but you ignore him, as usual.

"We have supplies to spare we don't need a..." Speaks another man who approaches Shane from behind.

"Be careful buddy, don't finish that sentence." Merle threatens him and you sigh.

"Please... we'll just be on our way, we won't be in the way too much..."

"I have to talk it over with the rest of you, stay put." Shane asks you and walks away.

The three of you watch as they make a small circle of consensus to talk about you, there are several furtive glances in your direction and you feel nervous. Suddenly you feel Daryl punch you in the arm and you turn around to look at him.

"May I ask where ya were going? I told ya to be quiet."

"I'm obviously a nuisance, so I wanted to go away to leave you alone."

"Yeah, well look what you've accomplished." He growls again and you clench your fists feeling like punching him.

"Don't I ever do anything right? Are you always going to be throwing things in my face?"

"It seems that way. It's not my fault if you don't know how to take care of your ass by yourself."

"I didn't ask for your help! I left so you could go on your way, you didn't have to follow me!" you yell, fed up with his retorts.

Daryl glares at you ready to respond, but shuts up biting his lip and walks away kicking a rock. Merle finds the whole situation amusing, but also avoids a comment, he knows his brother is really upset. Shane walks up to you again.

"You can stay, but you will settle your camp away from our tents and supplies, you said they know how to hunt and track, that will be useful for us to keep the camp safe, there are several tasks here that we always do between all of us, so if you want to stay you have to follow those rules."

"Thank you very much, it won't be a problem." You smile excited to find people other than the Dixon brothers, you just need a little rest and then you will get back on the road, or maybe they will leave and you could stay at the camp.

They all seem very nice and you don't want to be a nuisance to the Dixons anymore.

To be continued...

****

I hope you liked it!!

See you in the next stories!!

#my stuff #norman reedus #normanreedus #daryl dixon #daryldixon #twd fanfiction #daryl x reader #daryl fanfiction #fanfic #twd mini series #twd story #daryl twd

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gay-otlc · 2 years ago

Text

Won't Fall In Love At The End- 1

Remember that aroallo fake dating au I posted about? Yeah, I was bored, and I'm writing it now. No content warnings other than just general amatonormativity being a bitch. Enjoy.

"So- will you go to homecoming with me?" Anthony asks, holding the flower out in front of her. It is a pretty flower.

And he is cute. Nothing earth-shattering, but he has a good jawline, and she's seen him take his shirt off to run before, and... well, he's hot. She can appreciate that. Also, he's nice. She likes him. They aren't especially close friends, but they've sat near each other in a few classes and she always likes talking to him.

So, she should say yes. Obviously.

But she doesn't really want to be his girlfriend. There's no particular reason she doesn't want to be his girlfriend. She just doesn't want to.

"Um," Rana says, eloquently.

Anthony brings the flower back to his side. "So, I'm guessing that's a no?"

"Yeah. I guess. Sorry."

"That's okay. I'll, uh, see you around. I guess."

Rana wishes very desperately for the floor to swallow her whole. "Yeah, I'll see you around."

Aziza has the decency to wait for Anthony to be out of earshot before she turns to Rana, an incredulous look on her face. "Dude."

"What?"

"Dude, why would you turn him down?"

"Because... I'm not really interested in dating him?"

"He's hot, you know."

Any day now, floor. "I know. I have eyes. But just because he's hot doesn't mean I want him to be my boyfriend."

Aziza's face lights up. "Ohhh, you like someone else!"

"What?" How, exactly, did she come to that conclusion?

"Don't play dumb, you turned him down because you want to be with someone else. So? Who is he?"

"Or she," Eva adds.

"It's no one."

"Come on, you can tell us," Aziza says.

Rana takes a deep breath. Punching your friends is generally frowned upon, she reminds herself. "I would tell you if I had anything to tell, but it's no one at the moment, okay? Can we drop it?"

"Okay, fine. Eva? Anything exciting in your love life? A homecoming date?"

Eva sighs. "I'm still pining over the same straight girl I've been in love with for six months, thanks."

"That sucks."

"Seriously. I was blasting girl in red and crying into my pillow about this yesterday." Eva sniffs dramatically. "But, I soldier on."

Rana has learned, over eleven years of attending public school, that telling your peers their emotions make no sense doesn't go over well. So she just thinks it privately; that Eva should just get over Abigail already. It's been six months. Can it really be so painful, so heartbreaking, for someone you want to kiss to not want to kiss you back?

People don't always make a lot of sense to Rana.

At least she's found people who are okay with Rana not making sense to people.

"So, we're just all going to the dance as friends, then?"

"Yeah!" Truly, it's ridiculous that anyone things Rana would rather go with Anthony than with her best friends.

Eva frowns. "I still think Rana should try to get a date. Like, come on, you're sixteen and you've never had a boyfriend, girlfriend, anything."

"I resent that. I had a boyfriend when I was in first grade."

"I stand corrected. Still, that's a little sad. I mean, you're really pretty! If there's someone you're interested in, just tell them, and they'd be stupid not to be interested in you."

You're stupid to think I am enjoying this conversation. "I'll take that under consideration."

And she does. Consider it. Who should she tell that she's interested in them? Because she's probably interested in someone. Lately, she's been kind of busy with schoolwork and everything, but maybe there's been someone she's been thinking about subconsciously. So she looks around the school as she goes to her next classes and walks around the hallways, thinking maybe it's them. Maybe they're the one I have a crush on.

Sure, there are attractive people. There are some extremely attractive people. But she can't picture herself in a capital-R-Relationship with any of them.

"Hey. Rana. You good?"

She blinks. Asher is looking over at her. Am I attracted to Asher? They are very pretty, I love their hair, and it would be fun to kiss them. But I don't know about dating them.

"You were kind of spacing out," they explain. "Did calculus break your brain? Because I've totally been there."

"Nah, calculus isn't that bad. I was just thinking."

"About?"

"I don't understand all the hype about dating. Like, my friends are so obsessed with setting me up with someone, and I'm just... I don't really care? Like, a relationship might be nice, but it's just not high on my priority list or anything."

"Honestly, same. I don't get this whole romance thing. Like, what makes a partner different than a friend, exactly?"

It's kind of cool, that someone else is confused about the same thing she is. "I have no idea."

"Would you want to try to figure it out?"

"How do you plan on doing that?"

Asher shrugs. "We could date. Just to see what it's like."

Oh. "Listen, I- you're nice, but-"

"Not in, like, a 'I have a crush on you and I'm asking you out right now' way, don't worry. I kinda just want to date someone for my own intellectual curiosity, and I'd rather not do it with someone who actually has a crush on me, so I thought you might be a good fake girlfriend. No pressure or anything, though."

Rana considers. She would like to learn about this romance thing. And it would get her friends to shut up. "Alright. It'll be like a scientific experiment. As long as this isn't going to be like those fake dating fanfictions where they fall in love for real at the end."

"I doubt that's going to happen."

"Okay, then. I'll be your fake girlfriend."

"Sounds good."

#s's writing #guess who impulsively started a new story in favor of his other wips? this bitch!#aro #aroallo #won't fall in love at the end

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ravenadottir · 2 years ago

Text

hi there.

this is a very long post about why i'm deactivating my inbox and taking some time off, so... if you're not interested, skip this one. you know it's long and... not cohesive, which is very on brand for me.

gotta keep that ✨aesthetic ✨ going.

it's been maybe a year since the last time i closed my inbox for a while. i really need every spare second i can get to focus on my other projects. i have many pieces to finish, and coming in to tumblr and responding asks takes some time.

don't get me wrong, i fucking love it (i'll talk about it later on in this post) but i just really have been buried in unfinished projects, and well, you've seen the length of my answers, bitch can't shut up about the subject people ask him about lol so it takes a while to answer them, and i need this time.

i'm not sure how long this hiatus is gonna take, and i'm ok with not knowing. if this was last year's time off i would be calculating everything, trying to come up with a solid calendar mark, but now? nah, i'm cool with not knowing.

a few things i need to address before i go:

plenty of characters are queer or other genders and there's nothing you can do about it. you can argue with the wall because it's the only thing that's not gonna disagree with you.

i have no problem with anyone in the fandom. if there's any "beef", that's you having it with me, it's not mutual. i can't hate/dislike someone i don't even know or care about. get over yourself.

if you feel the need of sending hate in my inbox... i do hope you find peace, and whatever situation, person, struggle is making you feel so angry, i hope it's temporary. also, know that you don't need to ignore or try not to feel your anger, you just need to know how to manage it. people you don't know in real life, and that are not responsible for making you feel this way, are not exactly the people who deserve your explosions. if you cannot confront your trigger, know this: it's gonna be ok. this is not gonna last forever, and you will have the power to leave this situation soon. i know it sounds condescending, but i'm being serious. everything is gonna be ok.

from here on out it's about to get cheesy, so if you're uncomfortable with feelings, this is the end of the post for you. hope you have a blast while i'm gone. stay hydrated and fed.

i have some advice for you: please don't let anything negative affect the way you look at your work or creative process. whether it's a condescending comment, or an ask, or even someone in real life saying something... if you're in search of the perfect way of writing, something that fits with your style and time table, you have to think about what you want, and not what other people will think it's interesting. YOU'VE GOT THIS! keep going, you know exactly what to do, don't let the writing paralysis get to you.

to whoever sent those asks about writing advice, please tag me in your updates if you ever do write those pieces. i would honestly love to read them now that i'll have more time. i'm a big advocate for "the more the merrier" and that's not gonna change. TAG ME!

stop clenching your jaw and go drink some water and eat something. that frail body of yours is not gonna survive on air and positive thoughts you dumb bitch (affectionate).

i'll be logged off for a while so i can work on the (many, many, many) outlines i have to finish, so i might not respond messages as quickly, but i'll get to them at some point.

this is random but... i have discovered watercolor and brown noise and it has been really peaceful lately. i don't know if this information will serve you in any way but i thought i would share.

anyway!

the anons that have sent me questions, prompts, ideas, requests of any kind, i hope you know you have made my day many, many times. i can’t stress this enough, if there wasn’t any asks for me to answer, there wouldn’t be as nearly as much content in this blog. and in the fandom for that matter! i love that you always bring interesting and insightful asks to us, and sometimes fucking hilarious, keeping the fandom alive and running. we never met, we never talked, but you kept coming back and giving us more stuff to talk about. thank you, because i learned so much while processing those answers, and i think we can all agree, you are the true backbone of this place. I FUCKING LOVE YOU.

to the people that have become my friends and have been there for me through happy and sad moments, i truly love and appreciate you so much, you’re absolutely the type of light a person would be lucky to have. you’re brilliant and deserve the world, so never forget that! i hope you stay evolving but never change, because you are amazing, and you have so much to give. I FUCKING LOVE YOU (2).

to the people I wasn't friends with but i saw you on my dash... my introvert ass didn't let me get to know you, but i know for a fact you're so cool and deserve the world! i wish I had talked or reached out, but i couldn't. and still, i see you and yours posts, your writing, your drawings, and you're fucking talented and amazing. please never change.

in case i don't come back i just wanna say this: this fandom is only wonderful because the people here are fantastic and creative and warm and amazing and supportive and gorgeous and awesome and funny and-

the time i spent here wasn't a waste. quite the opposite, it was very fun and interesting. i made some really good friends, i have rediscovered a passion, i have figured out my disabilities, sexuality, gender in the mean time... it's been a blast! so i guess i just want to say, i love this fandom and the people in it.

i’m the kind of person that believes learning is an endless process. whether it’s academic, self-knowledge, or even, for lack of better term, “streets smarts”. you’re never gonna stop learning, and i hope you don’t.

we can all improve and evolve and it doesn't mean you have to change. i had an epiphany a while ago and i'm more convinced than ever that what i'm doing is right. so if you ever... have one of those, keep going. i know you can do this, and i know there are some days when you feel like it doesn't matter, but it does. i promise you, it does.

you never know who you're reaching but i guarantee you are reaching someone, so please, keep going, whatever your craft or work is.

and last but not least, if this is the last time we talk, i hope you know this: i'm proud of you. whether because you posted a chapter, or because you made a funny post, or even because you made your bed today. we know these are trying times, and possibly an "apocalypse surviving" era, SO IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU DO! if you chose to relax today, or to write, or just to make some ramen to feed yourself, i don't care, you're still alive and doing your best to stay sane, so I'M PROUD OF YOU.

ok, i think i'm done.

stay hydrated and fed. hopefully we'll talk soon?

alright, bye.

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