#writing fanfic instead of doing homework god do I feel like a teenager again

[hellsbellssinclub]

That feeling when you smash out 5120 words in five hours of fucking around when you are supposed to be writing a 1500 word lit review for your BA.

In other news please expect a one shot for Mortal Kombat in the next coming days as I edit this word vomit down.

There is something very nice and freeing about writing one shots that I have forgotten the feeling of. I have other Mortal Kombat fic ideas but I am willing to take prompts. Especially horror or supernatural prompts because I am already in the spooky mood.

The one shot is sole survivor/slasher horror if anyone is interested. I drew the prompt words from a hat and word vomited. Poor Kuai has not fun time.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

(Accidental 150 Follower Special) IOTA's Top 10 Worst Episodes of Miraculous Ladybug (Part 1)

If you saw one of my earlier posts, an anon asked what my favorite and least favorite episodes of Miraculous Ladybug were. So, I decided to make a little list explaining the best and worst this show has to offer.

A few quick ground rules here. I'm not going to list any episodes I had previously talked about in some of my other posts. This includes “Kung Food”, “Animaestro”, “Syren”, “Reflekdoll”, “Chameleon”, and most of the episodes relating to Chloe's “damnation arc” that Astruc planned since he first created the character (“Despair Bear”, “Queen Wasp”, “Malediktator” and “Battle of the Miraculous”). Also, I'm not counting the specials, mainly because aren't listed as episodes, and because I don't want to talk about them.

Other than that, anything goes, so let's get things started with the worst list.

These are the Top 10 Worst Episodes of Miraculous Ladybug (in my personal opinion because your opinion is also valid)

#10: Stormy Weather 2

“Stormy Weather” was the very first episode of the show, and it really made a good impression on new viewers. So naturally, when it was announced that Stormy Weather would return, fans were excited. Then when the episode aired, Hawkmoth gave her even more powers, including the power to create a volcano big enough to potentially knock the planet out of orbit when it erupts. So Ladybug and Cat Noir have no choice but to stop the villain once again.

What does this plot lead to?

Yep, this episode is nothing more than a clip show. I understand that clip shows and bottle episodes are a necessary evil, but why would you set up something this awesome with a fan-favorite Akuma like Stormy Weather, and then not even bother to show it?

This episode is yet another attempt at showing that the show totally has character development. The whole reason Aurore is Akumatized into Stormy Weather again is because Chloe says that people can't change because Astruc (who was one of the four people writing this episode) is determined to make you hate this teenage girl more than the main villain of the show.

So of course, everyone spends most of the episode talking about how much they've changed, which is represented through clips of past episodes that do a horrible job at actually conveying any development.

According to Marinette, Adrien has “become a friend she can talk to about anything, except when it comes to her feelings for him”. Ah yes, you can tell they're friends by the fact that they barely hang out together, much less share a conversation because the writers are going to drag out the whole “Marinette stammering in front of Adrien” until they get tired of it. So basically, never.

All Alya and Nino talk about is how Ladybug helped them become a couple, and become superheroes, even though neither of those are actually related to character development. Though that is a fitting metaphor for the way both of their personalities have basically devolved to “the couple”.

Chloe talks about how nicer she's gotten, while footage of her doing awful things is played. I wonder who wrote that part in...

Even Ladybug and Cat Noir talk about how much they've grown and how stronger they've gotten, as opposed to focusing on STOPPING ANOTHER ICE AGE FROM HAPPENING. How can Hawkmoth even think this will get him the Miraculous? Yeah, sure I guess he can get them from the frozen corpses of our heroes, but what then? He still doomed humanity, and I don't think he can reverse the damage like Ladybug.

Towards the end, the clip show becomes slightly interesting, as Adrien mentions an unsigned card he got for Valentine's Day in “Dark Cupid”, and how similar the handwriting looks to Marinette's.

Does this lead to Adrien figuring out Marinette has feelings for him? Is the sky bright red? Both of these questions have the same answer.

Yeah, out of nowhere, Adrien just mentions Luka, who wasn't mentioned at all in this episode, and immediately thinks Marinette is in love with him. And that's how the episode ends.

I put this at the bottom of the list because I don't think it's completely fair to judge clip shows, but even some clip shows at least try to put in some effort and justify the clips, like what The Legend of Korra and some seasons of Power Rangers did. And the fact that the whole point of the episode is a poor excuse to claim that there's character development in the show only makes it even more infuriating.

Oh my God, this is only Number 10...

#9: Oblivio

While I already talked about “Cat Blanc”, this episode shares a similar theme as that episode: Giving viewers what they've wanted for three seasons, Marinette and Adrien finally learning each other's identity and starting a romantic relationship... only for the reset button to be once again slammed, making the entire episode pointless.

The only difference is that unlike in “Cat Blanc”, where there was an actual love confession that made sense, here, Marinette and Adrien find out the other's identity when they get their memories wiped by the Akuma of the week, Oblivio.

From then on, it's just fanservice. Instead of actually developing the relationship between Marinette and Adrien, the writers just decide to cram an entire episode worth of Adrienette content into a single episode just to tide fans over. Marinette and Adrien seriously fall in love despite only knowing each other for like, an hour at most. And the fact that the writers undo all the romantic progress of the episode makes it come across as pointless.

But the ending is what really cements this episode's spot on the list. As soon as Oblivio is defeated, Alya takes a picture of Ladybug and Cat Noir kissing without their consent and then rubs it in Ladybug's face.

Even though Ladybug doesn't know the circumstances (she has no memory of the events of the episode), this was still an invasion of her privacy, and she looks horrified by the picture that Alya is obviously going to post on her blog.

And of course, Cat Noir is more than happy to see it, ignoring how Ladybug feels and claims that they'd make a great couple. Because everyone knows good couples are formed by someone gaslighting the other into going out with them.

But wait, it gets better! In the next scene, we learn that Alya and Nino were akumatized into Oblivio... because they were caught in an embarrassing situation by their peers.

Alya: Remember when we visited Montparnasse Tower? Well, we went and hid to play Super Penguino, but Ms. Bustier caught us, and...

Nino: And you guys made fun of us for playing that game, saying it wasn't our age and all.

Alya: We were totally embarrassed at getting caught.

This was my thought process when I first heard Alya and Nino's explanation.

How can Alya claim to take a compromising picture of Ladybug, ignore how she feels, and not realize the similarity from when she and Nino were akumatized? This is what completely killed Alya for me in canon. This was the point where I couldn't care less if Marinette was friends with her or not. Sure, there are still fanfics, but those actually portray her with some kind of conscious. So to summarize, Fanon Alya is awesome, but I hope Canon Alya's 4G plan runs out.

This episode is just forgettable, but the ending made things worse. Apart from, I guess the action scenes and some funny jokes, this episode has no redeeming qualities. Like, literally the best thing to come from this episode was @miraculouscontent​‘s LadyBugOut AU, as it actually addressed the hypocrisy of Alya's character, among other problematic aspects of the show.

#8: Oni-Chan

Just a heads up, most of the episodes on this list are from Season 3. Just want to give you an idea of what to expect.

This episode is about Lila tricking Adrien into helping with her homework, when she is only doing it to get closer to Adrien. Marinette tries to spy on the two and stop Lila from hurting Adrien... even though she knows Adrien is aware that Lila is a liar, and is visibly uncomfortable around her.

And because the episode spends so much time on Marinette following Adrien and Lila, the buildup to Kagami getting akumatized is incredibly rushed. Seriously, she gets a single line of dialogue before she gets akumatized, and the motive is ridiculous too. Lila sends a picture of her forcing a kiss on Adrien, and Kagami immediately bursts into tears at the sight of it.

But wait, it gets better! When Kagami is akumatized into Oni-Chan (the writers know that's a term used for males in Japan, right?), she turns into a psycho hellbent on killing Lila because “Adrien doesn't deserve her”. Most of her dialogue is her saying how much she loves Adrien, making her come across as, for lack of a better word, a yandere.

This episode just destroys Kagami's character, making her as unlikable as Katie Killjoy in the process. If it wasn't for “Ikari Gozen” actually treating her like a human being (obviously Astruc's planned character development from the beginning), I'd completely hate her.

It also shows how much of an evil genius Lila is, as she has the brilliant idea to convince Oni-Chan to kill the only person capable of saving her from the Akuma's wrath. And this somehow gives Hawkmoth the idea to forge an alliance with Lila. It's also another reason why I believe in Darwinism.

This episode is low on the list because it does have a few redeeming qualities, like Lila facing consequences for lying, however brief they may be, and it has a great character moment with Adrien realizing on his own how terrible Lila really is, a far cry from what he was like in “Chameleon”.

Other than that, it's pretty bad, and still deserves a spot on this list.

#7: Antibug

HA! I said MOST of the episodes involving Chloe's “Damnation Arc” wouldn't be on this list, but not ALL OF THEM, so this one counts! Take that, convoluted rules I made up for some reason!

What was I talking about again? Oh right, “Antibug”. Oh crap, “Antibug”...

This is one of of several episodes in Miraculous Ladybug that really should have been a two-parter. It tries to be daring and includes two Akumas in one episode, but both of them are poorly executed.

An invisibly entity starts harassing Chloe, so Ladybug and Cat Noir start an investigation. It turns out to be Chloe's lackey Sabrina, who was akumatized after a falling out between the two. Well, I say “falling out” lightly, because what actually happened was that Chloe and Sabrina were cosplaying as Ladybug and Cat Noir, Chloe pretended to be the real deal while crashing an interview with Jagged Stone before Sabrina accidentally blew her cover, causing Chloe to be humiliated on TV and end her “friendship” with Sabrina.

Ladybug learns this from Chloe's butler, while Chloe never mentions the incident. So when Ladybug and Cat Noir engage the Akuma, Ladybug ignores Chloe's advice on where the corrupted object, naturally not trusting her judgment. And this is portrayed as a bad thing.

This episode is the start of a long-running trend in Miraculous Ladybug: Marinette needing to learn a lesson, while Adrien/Cat Noir is the one to help teach that lesson.

Chloe did nothing to help, only made things worse, and lied about why Sabrina got akumatized. It's kind of obvious why Ladybug wouldn't trust her word. The whole point of The Boy Who Cried Wolf wasn't to trust the liar after all.

But if that was all the episode did, it wouldn't be on the list, because now, the narrative wants to make the audience feel bad for Chloe before she gets akumatized into Antibug... who is just a lazy palette swap because new character models are expensive.

This part of the episode isn't nearly as bad as the first half, but like “Oni-Chan”, Chloe's akumatization is incredibly rushed, and we don't really get a chance to sympathize with her before she goes full Antibug.

Even Antibug herself isn't that interesting of a villain. The whole idea of an evil doppelganger is that they're a perfect match for the hero, but we only see Ladybug and Antibug fight for a few seconds, while Cat Noir does most of the fighting with her while Marinette's Kwami recharges. I like that Ladybug and Cat Noir show their teamwork to defeat Antibug, but I feel it would have been more interesting to see Ladybug and Antibug duke it out before Cat Noir helps turn the tide.

Again, this episode really needed to be a two-parter to better expand on the story presented here, because it had a really interesting premise. I'd personally read the version of “Antibug” in @justanotherpersonsuniverse​‘s “The Adventures of Panthera Noire” (an AU fanfic where shy girl Juleka gets the Cat Miraculous instead of Adrien). Not only does it have two separate chapters for Vanisher and Antibug, it also does a good job of setting Chloe on an actual redemption arc, unlike Astruc's “damnation arc”.

#6: The Puppeteer 2

As much as I've ragged on Adrien/Cat Noir in some of my other posts (and will continue to do so in this list), that doesn't mean I think Marinette has problems too, and this episode is a prime example.

Marinette and Adrien go to a wax statue museum with their friends (and Manon), but because of a poor choice of words by Nino, Adrien thinks that Marinette hates him. So he does something that everyone loves, practical jokes.

Adrien seriously thinks that pranking Marinette will improve her opinion of him. Even the prank is ridiculous, pretending to be a wax statue to make her laugh. And it leads to... Oh God... This is easily the contender for one of the worst moments in the entire show. Marinette goes up to the statue and... gets close to it. Yes, we, the audience know that this isn't a statue, but putting that aside, just look at what Marinette does to the “statue” (AUTHOR’S NOTE: I made a gif from the episode, but it wouldn’t go through, so I recommend you check out the episode and watch the statue scene for yourself if you don’t value your sanity). Even Adrien, as dense as he can be, is a little unsettled by what Marinette does.

If the scene was about Marinette talking about her feelings for Adrien, I'd be more lenient on it, but this? This is just uncomfortable to watch.

Even the dialogue makes Marinette sound incredibly creepy.

Marinette: Wow... it looks so... real. The wax is nearly as hot as skin. It even smells exactly like him...! Oh, beautiful statue of Adrien, your wax is so soft! Your yak hair is silky. Your eyes are so green. Oh, shall I be a statue, too! Everything would be so much easier. Why haven't we been molded together in the plaster of destiny? Marble to marble, wax lips against wax lips, entwined for eternity...

I think Gilbert Gottfried said it best.

This scene alone put this episode on the list, and the Akuma doesn't make it better. I really liked “The Puppeteer”, and I thought her ability to control past Akuma victims was incredibly fun to watch. And when she returns to take control of the wax statues of past Akumas they... don't use their powers (with the exception), and serve as cannon fodder for Ladybug and Cat Noir to plow through, making the return of the villain very underwhelming.

Even the end where Adrien tells Marinette that he is in love with someone and only sees her as a friend. This should devastate Marinette, but in the next scene, thanks to some fortune cookie nonsense from Tikki, she's still unsure about her relationship with Adrien, and that's how the episode ends. Seriously. Because just need to keep the status quo consistent, right? It's not like Marinette doubting her crush on Adrien and worrying that she's just wasted her time would have been interesting to see, right? Play that happy ending theme already!

Of all the episodes on this list, this is the one I was dreading talking about the most because of some of the moments here. And yet, there are still episodes that are worse than this one...

Here’s Part 2

[moonchild-sara]

Renegades ~ Chapter Three ~ A Kiribaku fanfic

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Summary: Bakugou and Kirishima become roommates at a boys only juvenile home. In this chapter Kirishima reveales something about himself.

Warning: English is not my mother language. My english vocabulary isn’t too big, so you might find my writing style very simple and with some grammar errors.

Thanks to my beta reader: @superdweeb

The boys all have a tough relationship with their parents. I know that Bakugous parents would never do what they do in my fic, but it’s an AU and I just replaced most of the parents with dickheads (:

A couple of weeks later Kirishima claimed Bakugous services as his private teacher for the first time. They found a quiet place for learning in the library of the juvenile home. It was a small library with the option to order books from somewhere else. There were only a few boys who actually went to the library. One of them being Todoroki. It was no surprise to Bakugou that the boy with the giant birthmark over his left eye sat on one of the armchairs and read a book.

Bakugou and Kirishima sat down on one of the two only desks in the library. “So, what exactly do you need to learn?” Bakugou asked. “I have a math test tomorrow and -” - “Tomorrow?!” Bakugou exclaimed. “Fucking tomorrow?! You don’t start learning for tests the day before!” “I usually don’t start learning at all so that’s an improvement” Kirishima laughed. “God, you’re such an idiot…” Kirishima ignored him and explained: “Our teacher gave us these problems and said if we’re able to solve them we’re good for the test tomorrow. So I just need to be able to solve these two pages!” “Manageable” Bakugou mumbled. “Try to get as far as you can. I’ll help when you’re stuck.” With a nod, Kirishima started his homework while Bakugou watched him. He was slow. It was almost frustrating to exactly know how he could solve a problem whereas Kirishima seemed to struggle a lot. Bakugou had to bite his lips to not scream at him. He was so fucking slow. “Okay, here’s the problem” Kirishima finally said. “I’m usually able to do the easier problems, but when they are getting more complicated and they put all these letters in there, I’m lost.” “Threat the letters like numbers” Bakugou grumbled. “But they aren’t numbers! I can’t just add a and b!” “Of course not! Why do people always get so confused the moment they see numbers in a math problem?” “Because it’s not supposed to be there! Who thought it was a good idea to put numbers into math?” “Can you two keep it down?” Todoroki asked. “Sorry -” Kirishima wanted to answer but Bakugou was faster: “Go read somewhere else if we bother you so much!” “Damn, Bakugou, you don’t always have to be so mean,” Kirishima said and then turned back towards Todoroki: “I’m sorry. We’ll be quieter.” “Thank you.” “Can you explain to me how I can solve the complicated problems?” Kirishima whispered and Bakugou answered in normal volume: “Yes, but I’m not going to fucking whisper.” He couldn’t remember if he ever needed that much patience with someone or something as he needed now with Kirishima and his inability to understand simple math problems. Everything he needed to explain twice or even three times, he had to simplify his explanation and went through every problem with baby steps. In the meantime, Todoroki finished reading and left the library. It went dark outside and Bakugou had to turn on the lights. They were alone. “We only have an hour left and then we have to go back to our room” Bakugou realized. “And we barely finished the first page” Kirishima groaned. He looked miserable. “I’m really stupid, aren’t I?” He didn’t say it with his usual smirk which let Bakugou know that he shouldn’t take him too seriously. His frustration was real and Bakugou could feel it. Kirishima was like a book, you could simply read his feelings right off his face. “A lot of people struggle with math” Bakugou reassured him. “I’m sure there are other subjects you’re way better at.” Kirishima sighed loudly. “Yeah, but… I’m…” He starred at his textbook and his ears changed into a red color. “I’m dyslexic.” He didn’t give Bakugou time to react, but justified right away: “I know this doesn’t mean I’m stupid or something, but I need really long to read stuff and even if I’m good at certain subjects, it sometimes takes so long for me to read or write so that I’m out of time before I finished the exam! And sometimes, when I have to read out loud in class, I struggle a lot and the other kids make fun of me, so I stopped doing homework. Now I can just say I don’t have the homework instead of embarrassing myself in front of the whole class – damn, I’m sorry, I’m babbling.” He covered his face with his hands. “I saw your look, you’re annoyed because I’m such a slow learner.” Bakugou stared at him with his mouth open. His thought process was fast, he made a decision, took a pencil and pointed at his homework. “Here, I can show you a simple trick to solve these kinds of problems,” he said much calmer than before. Kirishima lowered his hands and listened with his face and ears still bright red. They stayed in the library as long as possible. A caregiver found them and told them to go to their room after 10 pm. It was Bakugou who made the proposal to keep on studying until they finished both pages. Kirishima was able to solve the last problems on his own. “You were a lot faster at the end than at the beginning” Bakugou noticed. “I think you’re just a slow starter.” “I guess” Kirishima smirked. “You should start doing your homework again.” And if these kids make fun of you, I’ll beat the shit out of them. Kirishima nodded. “Thank you, Bakugou, for helping me.” “Don’t say stuff like that, it pisses me off!” Bakugou yelled, but Kirishima laughed it off.

~~

“You better tell me you rocked that stupid test” was the first thing that Bakugou said when the two met near the skate park after school. An ice cream shop was their meeting point, where the two boys wanted to grab some ice cream and chill at the waterside of the river before going to the park. “Well...” Kirishima scratched the back of his head with nervous laughter. “I kind of forgot some of the stuff you told me.” “That's because you came whining to me about this exam yesterday! From now on we're going to study two or three times a week and you'll going to clean the bathroom on your own!” “Wait – what?!” “It's payment for my work” Bakugou demanded. “I hate cleaning the bathroom, it's gross, so you're going to do it!” “Ugh, I hate it, too” Kirishima struggled, but eventually he yelled motivated: “But if this is what I have to do, I'll do it!” “Good, now pay for the ice cream, too.” “I'm short on money!” Kirishima protested. “And I'm broke. I only get the shitty pocket money from the foster home, but your mother gives you money too, right? So you have to have more than me!” “I mean, yea it's true, but still -” “I'll pay next time” Bakugou said before he could really put thought in it. Actually he wanted to get Kirishima to buy him some ice cream because he had like 2 bucks left from his pocket money and still a little bit over a week to go till next month – without promising to buy ice cream next time. But seeing Kirishimas disappointed face after demanding it so meanly, made Bakugou say his promise faster than he could think. Why the fuck do I care for this dumb idiot?! Kirishima smiled brightly. “All right! Which type do you want?” A couple of minutes the later the two boys sat on a small wall right by the riverside. It was a beautiful day with a bright blue sky, a little bit too hot for Bakugous tastes. A lot of people were sitting on the grass picnicking, kids played, bikers drove by and teenagers swam at the rivers edge while an elder yelled at them for being to risky. For a while Bakugou and Kirishima ate their ice cream silently, sitting right next to each other. Eventually it was Bakugou who broke the silence: “About your dyslexia. I thought about what you told me yesterday and I'm a bit confused why you have to read out loud in class. Doesn't the teacher know you have dyslexia?” “Every teacher knows” Kirishima answered and shrugged his shoulders. “But some don't care. My homeroom teacher constantly tells me that I have to challenge myself with reading out loud in class. I told her it makes me uncomfortable, but she doesn't care. Sometimes when I refuse to read, she puts me in detention.” “Bitch” Bakugou grumbled and Kirishima laughed. “I should have known” Bakugou continued. “There were rarely any teachers who were at least a bit understanding towards my anger issues... I guess it's like that for everyone with problems that could potentially disturb the teachers class.” “Hmm...” Kirishima went silent for a moment and then he asked with caution: “Did anyone ever made fun of you because of your issues?” You mean like provoking me on purpose and then laughing at me while I have an anger meltdown? Bakugou pressed his lips, before he grudgingly answered: “Yea.” Again silence for a few seconds, until Bakugou grabbed Kirishimas chin and pressed his cheeks so suddenly and fast that the boy let out a surprised “Blrgh!” “If you tell anyone, I'll fucking kill you!” Bakugou warned him, his voice sounding like a growl. “I won't!” Kirishima answered, looking like a fish with his cheeks pressed like that. Bakugou let go of him and he rubbed his face. “Let's go to the park.” Bakugou jumped from the wall and Kirishima followed him.

[musicanddancingthroughlife]

So Tired -- Lance Fanfic (Voltron)

Ummm. So I just looked through some of my files (cleaning up cause it’s nearly the end of the term – yay!!!) and I found this? I’m… not sure when I wrote this, honestly. And it was unfinished, so I kinda proofread it and finished it and now I’m handing it off to share, I guess. Hope someone enjoys it! XD If I had to guess, I would say I wrote this… definitely before season 4 aired. But maybe even before season 3? I’m not entirely sure, but it takes place in the Voltron universe during whenever Shiro was missing, so. Also, I may not remember writing this, but I definitely know it was intended for @taylor-tut, either as a gift or a thank you, so I’m gonna go ahead and say it’s a late birthday/early Christmas (or whatever holiday you want) present, and it’s a thank you for inspiring me to pick up my own writing again and to be proud of it, even if I don’t think it’s any good at times haha. There are loads of others out there who have inspired me, too, especially with Voltron fics, but I can’t remember them all and would hate to leave some out. And, I’m gonna quit talking and get back to my homework now. Hope you enjoy! 

He was so, so tired. Tired of trying. He knew he was smart. It’s just… It took a lot out of him. Taking charge, trying to fill the gap left in Shiro’s absence and Keith’s anxiety. He could take charge, but trying to pull together a group of – well, kids, really – who just wanted to fall apart was so draining.

Especially while trying to fight your own depression and anxiety.

It had just happened a few minutes ago actually. Keith had left training early after blowing up at Hunk for “shooting in his general direction”. Hunk had been aiming a good ten feet away. But Keith wasn’t listening to them. Hunk was close to tears, Pidge was pissed. Lance was trying so hard to fight back his own tears, because Keith had already made some jabs at him. Just the usual stuff, Shiro left me in charge, you’re not trying hard enough, stop taking everything as a joke… Too bad Keith couldn’t see how he spent his nights, huh?

“Keith, buddy, just calm down. Hunk didn’t mean to shoot at you. He’s probably just a little tired.” Lance knew this was true. Hunk had been up all night, talking to Lance. Hunk didn’t often let his homesickness overwhelm him, but every time it did, he knew he could count on Lance to be there. And he was. He stayed with him while the boy cried. Then Hunk had finally fallen asleep, exhausted, but Lance had stayed with him until he woke up. ‘Course, that meant Lance was pretty tired, too, but he needed to take care of this right now.

“C’mon,” he tried again. “Let’s just take a little breather and then —“

“Just SHUT UP, LANCE!” Keith bellowed. Stunned, Lance looked at him. He almost, almost snapped back, but then he noticed the puffiness to Keith’s eyes, and what looked like dried tear trails on his cheeks.

“Keith.” Lance’s voice, suddenly soft, seemed to startle the other boy, who yelled his frustration one last time and then raced from the training room.

“Lance! What just happened?” Allura’s voice over the speakers brought his attention to the fact that everyone’s eyes were on him. He clenched his eyes shut. Normally he didn’t mind being the center of attention, but he was so tired. He was really exhausted. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten a decent night’s rest. Hunk last night hadn’t been the first time, either. Before that, he’d spent most of the night helping Allura search for Shiro. Until he and Coran had finally gotten her to go to bed. But by that point, Lance had been dealing with his own homesickness and anxiety, so he’d asked Coran to give him some chores to keep his mind off of things. Coran had seemed worried but Lance brushed off his concerns with a laugh that only sounded a little forced. But it must’ve done the trick, because Lance spent the rest of the night helping Coran out by cleaning the healing pods and other random rooms he came across.

And before that, he’d been helping Pidge in her own search for Shiro, as well as for the rest of her family. At least, until he’d notice her fighting off tears. At first, he’d ignored those, but then she started to become more irritable than normal, and then she’d started to doze off, so once he’d decided it was safe enough to do so, he’d gently closed her laptop and then slid it out of the way as he lifted her in his arms and carried her over to the couch. Maybe it wasn’t as comfortable as her own bed, but the couch was closer. Besides that, he hadn’t been eating much lately, too busy making sure everyone else was making it to meals. And ever since Shiro had disappeared, he’d found it difficult to get any sleep that wasn’t full of nightmares. Lance groaned. What was that? Like 4 nights of little to no sleep? 5??? God, was he tired.

He felt a cool hand cup his cheek, and his eyes flew open at the sudden contact. He found himself flinching away from Hunk, trying to ignore the concern in his eyes. “Lance, are you all right?”

Lance forced himself to grin, though he was sure it looked more like a grimace. It definitely felt like a grimace. “Hey, Hunk,” he said instead, “don’t mind Keith, okay? I know he’s been having a lot of trouble sleeping the last few nights, and since I was busy last night, I wasn’t there to check up on him. My bad. I completely spaced about it. But I’ll go do that now.” He turned, feeling vertigo begin to creep up on him, and then took a deep breath and made a concentrated effort to not fall over as he left the training room.

“You all right in there, buddy?” Lance was met with silence. “Keith?” he tried again. Still no answer. Scratching his head, but at a loss of what else he could do – besides barging in himself – Lance uncertainly raised his hand to knock again. Then he heard a soft chuffing noise from inside Keith’s room, and skipped knocking in favor of opening the door and peeking in gingerly. When he saw Keith’s red eyes and shaking form, he stepped inside. “Hey, Keith. You all right? Did you even get any sleep last night?”

Keith seemed to hesitate for a moment, but then he slowly shook his head. Lance could tell he was trying to choke back sobs. Lance sighed before making his way over to the bed, holding his arms out as he went, silently offering Keith what little comfort he could maybe give. Keith accepted, slumping against Lance as soon as he sat next to him. Lance held Keith in his arms, keeping the hug loose in case Keith became uncomfortable and wanted to pull out. He was surprised when instead, Keith wormed closer to him, clutching Lance close to him and tucking his face into Lance’s chest. Lance let him sit in silence for a few minutes, waiting for him to calm down a little bit before talking.

Once his breathing had calmed a bit, Lance spoke up. “You know you really hurt Hunk.”

Keith was quiet for another minute before sighing, the sound catching in the back of his throat. “I know. I didn’t mean to. I promise I’ll go apologize in a minute. I’m just so tired.”

Lance frowned. “When’s the last time you slept?”

Keith was quiet for a long time. Lance groaned. “Keith. You need sleep.”

Keith still didn’t say anything. He just squirmed closer to Lance, all but sitting in his lap. Lance let out a breath before gently pressing a kiss to the top of Keith’s head. “Come on. I’ll go talk to Hunk and see if he won’t make you something to eat in a bit, and you get some rest, okay? I think we could all use a day off.”

Lance knew he could definitely use a day off. He was starting to see black dots and his vision was fuzzy and swimming. But he fought the sensations, struggling to be there for his team. He could do this. He needed to do this. But his heart sank when he felt Keith shaking his head, when he began to pull away. Lance pulled him back, forcing him to relax against him again. “We need to train! We need to find Shiro!”

“Keith.” Lance nearly flinched when he heard the harshness in his voice. But damn it, he was TIRED! And he was sick of these kids not taking care of themselves, forcing him (another teenager, dang it!) to take care of them and keeping him from taking care of himself for once! “If you get sick. Or if Hunk gets sick. Or Pidge or Allura or Coran. Then we waste valuable time in trying to get you or them back up to full health so we can rescue Shiro when we find him.” When. Not if. When. “You all. Need. Sleep. Actually, Pidge is probably good on sleep, but I know for a fact that she hasn’t eaten in almost a full day. But Hunk needs sleep. Allura needs a break. Coran needs some time to sit and relax, as well. And you need sleep. So go. To. Sleep.”

It took a few minutes, but Keith finally relented. When he finally pulled back, Lance releasing him so he could do so, he could see that Keith didn’t like the idea, but seemed to agree. Though he may have just been too tired to fight him on that. Whatever. He’d take what he could get.

The only problem was leaving. Lance really wasn’t sure that he’d be able to get up. He waited a good minute, in which Keith just passed out, finally tucked in his own bed and under his blankets. The poor idiot must’ve been pretty tired if he could just ignore Lance sitting there like that, but whatever. Mullet was stupid, the sky is blue. Well not right now, but that was too much to think about, so Lance focused on just pushing himself slowly off the bed and making his way to the kitchens where he knew he would find Hunk.

Finally. Finally done. Lance was so grateful that was over with. He’d gotten everyone settled. Keith had eaten a little, then fallen back asleep. Pidge had gotten some food. Allura and Coran had been in their own rooms for the last hour or so, hopefully taking some time to rest and relax (thought it had been hard to convince Allura to leave the ship’s computer and controls to continue searching for Shiro). Hunk had even finished in the kitchens and headed to his room for a nap, as well. It had taken forever. And tears had been shed, though he was forever grateful they weren’t his own. But he was tired. So, so, so tired. He collapsed on his bed, not even bothering to climb under his blankets. Then he heard running in the hall. He heard Keith cry out in his sleep next door. His heart sunk. He couldn’t do it. It was too much. He began to cry. Silently, at first, he didn’t even notice the tears. But then he heard Allura yelling at Pidge for something, and Hunk yelling back at Allura, and he could tell that things weren’t as settled as he’d thought but he was too tired to do anything about it. His door slid open and involuntarily, his eyes slid open to see Keith standing in the doorway, his hair tangled and clothes rumpled from his three hours of sleep. He squeezed his eyes shut and turned away, trying to hide the tears he could now feel streaming down his cheeks.

“Lance, can’t you do anything about their yelling? You’re usually good at stopping their arguments!” Why did he sound annoyed? Didn’t he see how hard Lance had been working? He was TIRED. He heard Keith suck in a breath, and swore under his breath. He didn’t mean to say that out loud.

Lance felt Keith’s hand stroke his hair, and despite his bitterness toward Keith at that moment, he leaned into the touch, loving the way it felt. “Lance,” Keith breathed. “When’s the last time you got any sleep?” Lance’s hands curled into fists and despite the headache creeping up on him, the hot tears trailing down his cheeks, and the nausea in his stomach, he struggled to clear his head and sit up.

“I’m fine. You’re right. Let me go talk to them.” But when he stood to leave, he swayed on his feet and felt Keith’s hand return, this time to his shoulder, gently but firmly pressing him back down onto his bed.

“No. You stay. Sleep. You need it.”

“I’m fine, you guys need me more.” Once more Lance struggled, but somehow, Keith managed to wrangle him back under his blankets, gingerly laying his head on his pillow.

“Sleep. I’ll go tell the others to keep it down, or to knock it off or something. I think you were right. None of us should be dealing with this much emotion while we’re this tired. They’ll understand that you need the break, and so do the rest of us.”

Keith’s hand had taken its place in Lance’s hair again, softly raking his gloved fingers through the strands, lulling Lance to sleep. Despite his muttered protests, Keith kept up the motions, watching over Lance as sleep pulled him under, smiling as he remembered all the times Lance had done the same for him, and the rest of the team. Once Lance’s breaths had evened out, he stood, bending over briefly to press a light kiss to the blue paladin’s forehead. “Thanks for watching over us so well.”

Keith wasn’t sure, but he thought as he turned away that he saw a small smile cross the other boy’s face.

�0

[ebhenah]

Kid (Voltron fanfic)

#Fictober18 Day 6 

Prompt “I heard enough, this ends now.” 

Voltron Fanfiction. S07 spoilers. Angst.

Adam pov, Garrison Days, Keith.

Rating: T- some language, discussion of same sex relationship, mentions of foster care, death, infidelity and homophobia

 References Ch 72 “Fair’s Fair” of my Klance fic “Shore Leave” which can be found here and here

The voice was soft, but choked with emotion he hadn’t heard before. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but he couldn’t seem to tear his attention away from the hushed phone call. It almost sounded like... shit... the kid was crying. That was something he’d NEVER seen before, not even on the trips out to his father’s gravesite.

“I don’t understand,” he was saying, “I know your foster parents aren’t... yeah... but... no, but lots of people go to movies with their friends... but WHY would they be... it’s just, that day, it’s my birthday.”

He sighed, knowing in his gut that this was going to end badly for a kid who’d already seen far too much ‘bad’ in his short life. He’d never liked the boyfriend, not from the first minute he’d met him. He was... slimy. Slimy in the way that shady car salesmen were slimy. Too slick, too charming, too good at playing the angles. But the kid was blind to that. They’d been in a group home together, and for some reason, any criticism of this (older, because, OF COURSE he was older... with access to a car, even) boy seemed to cut the kid deep- like they were talking about him, instead of trying to watch out for him.

Being foster parents to an angry, traumatized, hotheaded orphan had never been EASY, but it wasn’t until the boyfriend showed up that there had been any sign of the kind of conflicts and attitude that people always complained about when dealing with teenagers. Arguments, door slamming (that was fun), insistence that they ‘didn’t understand’ and ‘he loves me, it’s just complicated- you have no idea what its like for him’. Suddenly, they were having to police curfew (because said boyfriend cajoled him into breaking it one too many times), and grill the kid for details on what he was doing when he went out (because the boyfriend encouraged him to lie about it ‘to avoid getting hassled’). Eyerolls started showing up outside of joking around (so charming- not). So, did long-suffering sighs (always a crowd-pleaser). And a whole lot of ‘you don’t have to like him, you’re not the one dating him’ (his personal favorite).

Neither of them had any luck trying to get the kid to see the warning signs, but from the sounds of this side of the conversation, maybe the kid had started to clue in on his own.

“Hold on- with WHO? Why her? You said... no, you definitely said you guys broke up... oh... yeah.. I guess that makes sense. Yeah... I get it, you can’t risk it. I know... yeah... I love you, too. No... I’m not going to get clingy. I just thought, because it was my birthday you could- I know... yeah, I’m sorry...”

Hold up- HE was sorry?!?! Oh HELL no! He burst through the door, “give me the phone.”

“Adam! What the hell? I’m on the phone!”

Rage filled him, that lying, manipulative little shit made HIS kid cry, his stoic kid who never let anyone see that they got to him, in TEARS because of some little asswipe, and then apologize for being upset. Oh fuck no! “Keith, give me the phone, now.” Shockingly, the kid did just that.

“Hello,” he said far too sweetly, “This is Adam. We’ve met. It’s no secret that I’ve never liked you, but I’ve stayed out of it because Keith likes you. But that is over. No! This is the part where I talk and you listen. I heard enough, this ends now. You are going to lose this number, and any other way you have to contact Keith. You are NEVER going to sully his life with your presence again. EVER. Do you understand me?”

The little shit had the gall, the sheer, unadulterated (pun 100% intended) GALL to try and claim a misunderstanding. “I’m not fifteen, buddy,” Adam snarled, “I know what ‘its complicated’ means when a teenage closet case has a girlfriend. I actually feel for you if you can’t be out right now, I do- but not enough to let you hurt my kid over it. So, yeah. You are persona non grata as of now... lose this number or I’ll make you wish you had.” He hung up the phone and turned back to Keith, who was staring at him with huge eyes.

“What did you DO?!?” he shrieked, grabbing for the phone, “I need to call him back! Fix it!”

“Keith,” he said calmly, holding the phone out of reach, “he’s not worth it. He’s not worth YOU.”

That made the kid pause, but just for an instant, “you don’t understand anything...”

“I do. I understand. He lives with homophobes. It sucks. It’s sad- heartbreaking, even... but that doesn’t give him the right to hurt other people.”

“He’s not hurting anyone,” Keith argued.

“Keith... kid, you are crying,” Adam said softly, suddenly realizing that Keith was completely unaware of the tears rolling down his cheeks. “He’s hurting YOU and I will not abide that.”

“What do you even care?” Keith hissed, “you just got stuck with me because of Shiro.”

“It doesn’t matter HOW we all ended up here,” Adam said gently, “you’re my kid now, and you deserve someone who is proud to be with you, not someone who hides you away from the world. You are a human being- and a pretty awesome one at that- never let anyone turn you into a dirty little secret.”

“He was lying the whole time, wasn’t he?” It was gut-wrenching to see the kid’s heart shatter like this, but it would have only gotten worse with time. “You knew. Right away, you told me not to trust him.”

Adam just nodded, pulling the small teen into his arms for a hug and smoothing his hair, “I’m sorry, Keith. I wish I had been wrong.”

“Oh God... I was such a jerk to you... and to Shiro. How could I be so stupid? You guys must hate me!”

“We don’t hate you, kid. I love you. Shiro loves you... and you aren’t stupid. You’re just young. This is just part of growing up. It’s how you learn.”

“He had a girlfriend... this whole time, he had a girlfriend.”

“I know. That’s on him, not you,” he smiled encouragingly, “you didn’t do anything wrong. Not a thing. Now, c’mon, I was making sushi for supper. You can help me with it, and then we’ll skip homework for the night and watch a movie. I’ll write you a note for your teachers, too.”

His eyes flew wide, “I don’t want my teachers to know!”

He looked so horrified it would have been cute in any other situation. “I’m just going to say that we had family obligations that ran late, Keith, relax.”

“Family obligations?”

“Mmhmm... several incredibly funny movies to distract you and keep you laughing. You are obliged to watch. Your guardian insists.”

[yuniesan]

Notes and Words: Chapter 1 – First Meetings

Synopsis: Riley Matthews is an A student, she loves to write stories and take pictures, but doesn't have friends, and those who call her their friend only use her to copy her notes and homework. She's shy and doesn't voice her opinions very easily her only getaway comes from her hobbies. One day while she was on the bus from her dorm to school she happens to meet Lucas Friar. In that one moment her whole life changed. Now she's experiencing life unlike she ever has before.

 *This is the Second Rucas FanFic that I’m working on, new chapters will be posted every Friday. I’m going to post the first today, the second will go up This Friday.

I hope you enjoy the story!!

The bus from the dorm was packed with people on their way to school or work. The dorms were several bus stops away from the school normally she would take the shuttle bus but that morning she had missed the bus. She had run towards the bus but the driver hadn’t seen her and kept going, she felt invincible each time it had happened but instead of moping around she walked towards the city bus stop and waited there. She had decided on going to an all-girls high school because she wanted to focus on her studies but she also felt awkward around other people. She felt that going to a school with just girls would take some of the pressure off but she still felt weird around other people.

As the bus moved down the road Riley grabbed onto a handle and pulled out her favorite book, it was a mixture of a travel narrative and beautiful photographs. The book was by one of her favorite authors, he made traveling the world seem like an adventure written in beautiful words, it also encompassed her favorite hobbies writing and photography. Both were things that she didn’t need friends to accomplish because the stories she wrote were made of friends she created and not those treated her as though she were expendable. When she took pictures she was able to capture the small things in life that made her own life beautiful.

The bus jerked and Riley’s glasses began to slip down her face, “Hey check out four eyes,” someone said from behind.

Riley hated taking the city bus because some of the students from the nearby all-boys school took it as well and they would often make fun of Riley because of how she looked. Or they would make loud comments that would just make her uncomfortable. As the bus moved along their comments about her started to annoy her.

“Dude, she goes to that all-girls school right, why is her skirt so long?” the same voice said.

“Zay stop making comments about someone you don’t know,” someone said.

“I’m not the one eyeing the girl, geez your taste in girls has gone down man. She’s definitely not your type.”

Riley tried her best not to get angry by the comments or turn around and throw her book at them. Instead she turned up the volume on her headphones and continued reading her book. She was listening to her before school playlist which was filled with a mixture of music mostly rock because she was preparing herself for the long eight hours at school listening to everyone’s trivial lives. As the bus reached her stop it jerked her away from the handle and she landed in the strong arms of a boy. When she looked up she saw his forest green eyes looking down at her, his arms were wrapped around her body holding her in place.

“I got you,” he said to her but she jumped out of his arms dropping her book. Instead of talking she pushed her way towards the back doors. “Hey you dropped your book,” he said as he lifted it off the ground catching her skirt in the process and pulling it up revealing her cuddle bunnies’ underwear.

She felt her cheeks redden as she screamed and ran out of the bus. ‘Why does this always happen to me?’ she thought to herself as she ran down the block towards the school. Some of the local students were making their way towards the building smiling happily but Riley just wanted to drown herself in the school fountain. When she got to her classroom the embarrassment began to die down. She would never see these boys again why should it bother her.

“Oh hey Riley,” Missy said as Riley sat down at her desk. “I need to copy your homework, and your notes because I didn’t finish it yesterday.”

‘You’re such a liar Missy you never do any of your homework you just copy everything from me and the fact that the teach hasn’t noticed drives me nuts,’ Riley thought to herself but instead of telling her that Riley just smiled and nodded at Missy.

“Hey Riley, I heard you missed the bus this morning and ended up on the bus with a bunch of guys from that nearby all-boys school,” Darby said from her desk. “I heard that they were giving you a hard time.”

Riley wanted to scream because she had hoped that no one would have seen what had happened.

“I heard about a girl screaming on the bus because someone pulled up her skirt,” Sarah said bring up the most embarrassing part of her day and it wasn’t nine yet.”

“I heard that the boys from that school are hot, maybe we can set up a get together so we can get to know them better,” Missy said looking at Riley. “Do you think you can set that up?”

“No thank you, I have a lot of studying to do,” Riley tried to say but Missy was already moving around the room asking which girls would be interested. She stopped in from of Maya Hart’s desk and smiled.

“Hey Maya you want to come with us?” Missy said looking down at Maya who was busy drawing something on a sketch book. “Hello Maya you heard me?” Missy tugged on Maya’s hair but the girl didn’t seem phased by it.

“I don’t want to I already have a life and a boyfriend,” Maya said as she got up and walked away from her desk. When Maya was gone Missy huffed and walked towards her own desk.

“Why is she like that, god she is so stuck up.”

“I heard that she’s trying to get into some big name art program,” Sarah said.

Riley tuned them out as they talked about Maya and the boys from the nearby school. She heard Missy reminding her that she wanted the notes as she walked out of the room.

“Stupid Missy, why can’t she just leave me alone,” Riley said as she walked around the corner. “Why is she like this anyway we were never freaking friends. This is why I don’t like talking to people.”

“If you feel that way why don’t you tell her,” Maya said startling Riley.

“I didn’t see you there,” Riley said.

“Don’t worry I won’t tell, but Riley you have to learn to stand up for yourself. Don’t let her push you around.”

Riley stayed quiet as Maya walked back to their classroom, Riley walked back a minute later hoping that the excitement died down. As her classes went by everyone changed to new subjects and slowly stopped talking about the embarrassment that she had faced earlier that day. By the end of the day she was just happy that school was over and that she would get the chance to finish her favorite book. When she looked in her bag to pull it out for the walk home she realized that the book was missing. That was when she realized that she had dropped it on the bus after that guy had grabbed onto her. All of her favorite parts were highlighted and tabbed so that she could go back and read them whenever she could. It felt as though a part of her was missing.

As she reached the school gates a bunch of girls were squealing and talking about some hot guys they had seen at the front. Some of the girls thought that a couple of girls were being picked up by their boyfriends. Riley didn’t care about that, she wanted her book and it was missing. She didn’t even notice the guys everyone was talking about until one of them spoke.

“I went through all the trouble of coming here and you’re ignoring me?” he said. Riley recognized the voice. “You dropped your book earlier,” he said.

She looked up at him shocked, “Um…” was all she could say before Missy jumped in.

“Don’t mind her, she’s usually really quiet, Hi I’m Missy, I’m Riley’s hot friend and what is your name?”

“Lucas… Lucas Friar,” he said his voice made Riley feel like something warm was rising through her body.

“Well Lucas would you like to hang out with us today?” Missy said pulling him away from Riley.

“Sure, as long as I get the chance to talk to Riley,” he said. Missy looked at her pissed because one of the hottest guys in the group had wanted to talk to Riley.

“Sure she’ll be there,” Missy said before breaking away and grabbing Riley, “You’re going he’s cute and I want him so you’re going.”

Riley didn’t know what to do, she wanted her book back but if she didn’t go she knew that Missy would make her life a living hell. “Sure,” she said in a quiet voice.

“Great let’s go,” Missy said grabbing Lucas by the arm and pulling him away. His friends trailed behind and Riley was the last one to move forward. The group ended up at a nearby karaoke place that had isolated rooms for groups. Missy’s uncle ran the place so she had them bring by alcohol to the teenagers even though they were all dressed in their school clothes.

“So do you guys want to introduce yourselves?” Missy said to the guys.

One of the guys got up and danced their way towards Missy “Hi, my name is Zay, I’m single and you’re hot,” he said. Riley recognized the voice automatically as the one that had made the comments about her while she was on the bus.

“Anyway, next,” Missy said.

One of the guys looked up from his computer and said, “I’m Farkle, and I was dragged here today even though I need to finish my project.”

“Right,” Missy said once they were all introduced to each other. “Give me a sec,” she said before leaving the room.

“Listen man,” Zay said to Lucas. “I want to be with Missy so can you step back and let me have her. I know every girl will throw themselves at you but let me have this one please, she’s hot and totally my type.”

“That’s okay with me, I don’t really care,” Lucas said looking at Riley.

Missy walked back into the room with a bottle of something brown and didn’t look like soda, Riley was worried about what Missy was up to.

“Let’s make this interesting,” she said dropping some hard alcohol into the beer they were given when they arrived. Missy sat down next to Riley and whispered in her ear, “Listen I want Lucas so make me look good, and leave him alone.”

Riley nodded because all she wanted to do was go home and read her book. Instead she picked up her drink and started chugging it not realizing that she hadn’t picked up her orange juice because she had just wanted to do something that wasn’t listening to Missy.

“Hey look at the dork, she’s really drinking that fast,” Zay said when Riley looked up she realized that it wasn’t her normal drink.

“Oh my god, her face is all flushed,” Missy said. The two of them started making fun of Riley together, laughing about how she looked. Instead of sitting there and listening Riley got up and walked out of the room. She ran to the nearby bathroom and splashed water on her face. The alcohol was already making everything fuzzy.

“Are you okay?” Lucas said as he walked into the girls’ bathroom.

“Yeah I’m fine,” Riley said as the room began to spin.

“Come on I’m taking you home,” he said. Riley hadn’t realized that he had their bags in his hand because the room all of a sudden dropped out from her.

 💕 💕 💕 💕 💕 💕 💕 💕 💕 💕 💕 💕 💕 💕 💕

 Riley woke up the next day confused over where she was, it didn’t look like her bedroom the walls were white instead of purple, there weren’t any pictures on the walls. The room felt empty.

“You’re finally awake,” she heard Lucas say. Riley’s first reaction was to try and scream but instead his lips were on hers stopping anything from coming out. Riley felt that warm feeling spread throughout her body again and butterflies began to form in her stomach.

“You’re really beautiful without your glasses,” he said when he pulled away.

Riley felt her face redden and pulled herself as far away from him as she possibly could, she saw her backpack on the floor and immediately went to grab it and runaway instead she stopped when she realized that she wasn’t wearing her own clothes instead she was in shorts and a t-shirt.

“I had to wash your clothes last night, I didn’t see anything so don’t worry about that, it was better than leaving you in them since you… um threw up on them.”

“Oh god,” she said wanting to crawl under the sheets. Her lips could still feel his but she wanted to forget everything, it was her first kiss and it shouldn’t have happened that way. Nothing was going right for her.

“Come on, you can shower and change so I can take you to school.”

“Crap,” she said scrambling away from the bed and into the bathroom. When she closed the door she thought about Lucas and her stolen first kiss.

[embaasan-blog]

Skin Ch. 5 - Infusion (Sousuke/Kouhai Fanfic)

Fandom: Notice Me Senpai Rating: Mature Summary: Sousuke and Hinata have always been inseparable - as two halves to a whole, they have shared everything - from the grief at their mother’s disappearance to the face that belongs to them both. But the two of them are starved for attention and when their elite school opens its gates to the first female student in its history, the two of them are drawn in by her girlish charm. Now piqued against each other, Sousuke is left tormented and grappling with promises he can no longer keep, while Hinata’s virtuous facade is slipping, to reveal an increasingly warped mind. Notes: So this was the most difficult chapter I’ve had to write yet for this fic, and it’s such a relief to have it out of the way. The sixth chapter is more or less finished, I just need to revise it a little, so it should be ready by the time this chapter drops from the queue. But as always, enjoy this installment and if, like me, you prefer AO3 for reading, the story is also available there.

| Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five |

By the time Sousuke reached the halfway point between the school and the compound, he turned the corner and almost waltzed right into his flustered cousin, whose hurried, mildly anxious stride matched his own. Soujiro's eyes, when they clamped on Sousuke's pallid face, widened in surprise, but he quickly readjusted himself and turned around so the two boys walked side-by-side in silence.

Soujiro had clearly just returned from the gallery; he was dressed in his brown, leather jacket complete with a cream-coloured turtle-neck, which combined, gave him the aura of an effortlessly chic modern artist. He must have dropped his tool bag of ink-stained brushes back home and then left immediately to find Sousuke. His silence and wild eyes seemed to imply that he was a man far too stunned by his own senseless panic to feel meaningfully relieved. If anything, he appeared to feel shame.

"I was polishing the archery equipment," Sousuke murmured, remorsefully. He hadn't wanted his extended family to worry on his behalf about Hinata or more specifically, what Hinata might do. That was his job.

The accident of Sousuke's birth was out of a loveless marriage, wherein no child was ever meant to thrive, so fate had rushed out two, dark-haired baby boys as opposed to one and burdened them with each other. Their duties went beyond what was expected of ordinary siblings. They were partnered to play a myriad of roles - brother, friend, father, carer, puppet and puppeteer. Sousuke had influenced Hinata from the womb - had indirectly crept into Hinata's brain, perceiving the things that Hinata could not and sharing these observations with him. Hinata had done the same. And somewhere down the line, both of them had failed in their destiny-encrusted duties. Sousuke had walked hand-in-hand with Hinata along a divided plain, in which he traversed a frigid, emotionless existence while his brother's became marred by temptation. If Sousuke had searched hard enough, he would have been able to spot the twisted brambles underfoot, the lifeless sky and the decaying foliage of Hinata's strange, sinister world. Instead, Sousuke focused on what was in front of him. It was like a target. He had invested all of his focus into it, and moved forward with a narrow perspective.

Sousuke habitually regarded himself and Hinata as the same person split in two; two individuals borne of one identity and sharing a single world view. He had been wrong, and now others were suffering for his own failure. Maybe if he had loved Hinata better - if he had shown it to him just once - this wouldn't have happened. Or maybe his brother's jealousy was due to the fact that, for the first time in Hinata's life, he wasn't prepared to share this girl with anyone - especially not the person who had the gall to take his face and call it his own. Sousuke would forfeit his own life if it meant that Hinata could live a better life, but this was no longer at the forefront of Sousuke's mind. He would have forfeited his own life and Hinata's too if it meant that Kouhai-chan could be happy.

He swallowed and turned to look at Soujiro. He wanted to convey what he had witnessed in the café without words, but it was difficult. Sousuke had always been in awe of Kyouya-sensei; always felt deep down that he would become an adult just like him. If Kyouya wanted to jeopardize his job for a teenage girl, then that was his decision, and Sousuke was too emotionally drained to start playing god with other people's lives. The girl was clearly consenting; she had made her decision. Still, jealousy clawed at his innards like gnashing teeth and it urged him to speak to someone. That person would ordinarily be Hinata.

Evening had fallen by the time the two boys arrived back in the compound. The vibrant, orange clouds of dusk had become dark, haggard shapes in the sky, obscuring a tiny, round moon. The anxiety of Sousuke's extended family was palpable as he entered the house, although they all made significant attempts to mask it. Sousuke was on the verge of turning eighteen after all, and they didn't want to appear domineering. His independence only made things worse, though.

The news of Hinata's indiscretion had been received badly by Soujiro's mother in particular, who now suspected their father of harboring a psychopath while the chivalrous son suffered. It was her nature to treat the daily goings-on of the compound as if it were a real life soap opera, and she was anxiously awaiting the matter to come to a head in a chaotic and climactic finale. Much to Sousuke's surprise, he was the only person who seemed to regard Hinata's actions as out-of-character.

Lying on their stomachs on the tatami mats, Sousuke and Soujiro began working on their homework, but their minds were fitful and sporadically, they would turn to the other to halfheartedly converse about something insignificant. Both hearts ached with the need to lay out all the cards on the table and have a meaningful conversation, but for some reason neither could communicate. Sousuke didn't consider the fact that the issue might be himself.

Suddenly determined, he stood up. "I'm going to go across and collect the rest of my things," he said. He only had necessities with him at the house. Soujiro's father had grabbed what he could while Sousuke's father roared in indignation just centimeters away from his ear. Both were children of the compound - brothers - and they knew how gossip spread like wildfire above the tatami mats in every home there.

Soujiro nodded eagerly. "I'll come with you."

Thankfully, Sousuke's father was nowhere to be seen when the two boys pried open the door and entered the house. The house was as silent as a tomb. It made Sousuke feel sick to his stomach.

"Hinata must be around somewhere," Soujiro whispered.

The two stealthily made their way to the bedroom that Sousuke and Hinata had shared, hesitating momentarily before entering. Neither boy was particularly scared of Hinata; but the eventual encounter between the three of them loomed overhead in the form of a juicy, ominous cloud ready to burst and pelt them all. Not one of them would leave unscathed; it was going to be awkward and emotional and Sousuke dreaded it. He hadn’t seen his brother since he was beaten by his father. He was still ashamed at how fast he had crumbled.

Miraculously, the room was empty, but Sousuke was as rigid as he would have been with Hinata inside of it. Everything was in a disarray; empty bottles lined the wall in order of height, clothes lay crumpled on the ground and dirty plates were stacked high, threatening to topple. With some trepidation, Sousuke reached out and picked up his brother’s favourite sweater from where it lay haphazardly on the ground. He clutched the violet material in his hands and began to walk around, tramping foil packets underfoot as he went. Half of the clothes left inside Sousuke’s cupboard had been cut up with scissors, and the cadaverous remains lay in a heap by the wardrobe door. A handful of his books were splayed open on the desk and when he picked them up, he noticed that the pages had been sliced into ribbons.

Without speaking, Soujiro carried the dirty plates and mugs out of the room, leaving Sousuke to pack in peace. The sound of water running and plates clattering carried from the kitchen throughout the house. Sousuke grimaced at his wardrobe and began to sift through it to see what he could salvage.

Sousuke was distracted, however. The door had been left unlocked and yet no one had come to greet them when they entered. He had a suspicion that Hinata was hiding somewhere, crouched in a corner with his eyes clamped shut, praying for them to leave. The sick feeling in his stomach hadn’t diminished either. Sousuke was suddenly filled with longing to see his brother, and turned away from the wardrobe, intent on seeking him out.

He walked past Soujiro, who was elbow deep in washing up, and gave him a half-smile. “Have you seen Hinata?” he asked. His voice that left his mouth was strained and high-pitched.

Soujiro shook his head. “I haven’t seen anyone. It’s a bit weird, don’t you think? The house wouldn’t be open if there was no one here.”

Sousuke checked his father’s bedroom first, but no one was there. This was not surprising. Sousuke’s father had been absent from the compound more frequently as of late, and spent most of his time out in bars with his buddies. Sousuke didn’t want to know what these evening outings entailed. Then he headed to the spare room. Again, the lights were off and the room was empty. Hinata was nowhere to be found.

Baffled, Sousuke shut the door firmly behind him. Something was really wrong. In his peripheral vision, he saw the bathroom door was wide open and the light from it was illuminating the corridor. He ambled over and reached in to turn the light off, but that’s when he stopped, because he had finally found his brother.

Hinata was partially submerged in the bath and fully clothed with the sleeves of his hakama rolled up to his elbows. A broken razor lay on the rug, bent completely out of shape and with its blade torn out. Said blade was now resting on the side of the tub and scarlet blood was rising from Hinata’s wrists, spiraling to the surface in clouds. Sousuke was oddly fascinated by the beauty of the scene. With Hinata’s form at the center of it, it reminded him of the first time he saw tea leaves infuse hot water in a glass teapot, slowly discolouring the water to a pretty shade of amber. Except the bathwater was turning a diluted shade of pink around Hinata and when Sousuke finally came to, he felt nothing but abject horror.

“Soujiro!” he roared. “Call an ambulance! Now!”

Sousuke closed the gap in seconds and hauled his brother out of the bath from behind. The weight in his arms seemed to be comprised of Hinata’s dark indigo hakama and little else. He clutched at the sodden material in his hands, suddenly fearful that his brother was shrinking and fading away right before his eyes. Affectionately, he brushed the damp raven hair out of his eyes and bit back the hysterical sobs that were rising from his throat. Once he had placed Hinata’s head on his lap, he finally began inspecting his brother’s wrists. Among the flesh and blood, he could see glimpses of bone where the razor had dug deep.

Soujiro peered into the room clutching his cell phone and turned ashen when he saw the splatters of blood reflecting light on the white tiles around the two boys. He was so stunned that he didn’t make a noise, and felt his blood run cold with dread. Sousuke was crouched over his brother in the middle of the room, while Hinata lay lifelessly on the floor resting his head on his younger brother’s knees. With shaking hands, Soujiro began typing numbers into his cell while Sousuke frantically searched for something to use as a tourniquet.

From his position on Sousuke’s lap, Hinata began to stir. Their eyes met as Soujiro dashed out of the room to retrieve strips of fabric from what had once been Sousuke’s clothing. A stiff smile appeared on Hinata’s face before he passed out.

Sousuke began to avoid the girl at the café after that. He knew that he adored her and never once blamed her for what had happened that night, even though her appearance at the school was undoubtedly the catalyst for Hinata’s break-down, but she reminded him so succinctly of how he had almost lost the other half to his whole that the mere sight of her had become almost synonymous with it and thus unbearable. If that was what unrequited love had done to Hinata, then Sousuke certainly didn’t want to be the person who swarmed in and took her from him.

Only a handful of people knew about Hinata’s suicide attempt; the majority were faculty members, so he moved through the next week in a silent stupor beneath Soujiro’s wing, unable to convey to his classmates why exactly he couldn’t communicate with them like a normal human being. The grief at almost losing Hinata and trauma of the bloody scene was seeping in slowly but surely and on more than one occasion, Sousuke blacked out completely, staring dead-eyed into space, unmoving and unthinking. He had taken to sitting up on the rooftop with his knees tucked under his chin and staring at the sky, now drained of all its colour as November tumbled in, fruitlessly trying to prise some kind of spiritual epiphany from it. One of Soujiro's classmates, Ren, had even taken to slumbering beside him; often too lethargic to question Sousuke's gloomy presence. The boys were passing acquaintances but a friendship was beginning to emerge through the few toneless conversations that they had. It was one of the few comforts Sousuke could take from that period in his life.

It was a vicious circle. Sometimes the girl would dance in the eye of his mind, all lit up in flames like a rising phoenix, with her sanguine gaze beckoning him back to her side. This was the girl he had seen before Hinata's obsession spurred into motion, and she was quickly becoming his own now that his brother's absence had lead to her restoration. Despite his attempts to avoid her, news of her hi-jinks in the café spread like wildfire amongst the boys. She had refereed a spontaneous soccer match after closing hours one evening to settle the feud between Wakatoshi and Ryuu, standing in the middle of the sports field with a whistle poised between her lips. She was throwing parties and pulling pranks left, right and center. She had somehow managed to lure just under thirty students into the café over Halloween to help her decorate in time for Viktor-sensei's return despite never having met him. He ached to be beside her; to communicate with her harmlessly and jovially as the other students were able to. He hated that this revival in her spirits had to come at the cost of Hinata's suicide attempt; loved her all the better when he realized she had emerged all the stronger for it. She was not weak, he realized. If anything, the situation with Hinata had exhausted her into indifference. Now she had been revived, the gap between attraction and love had been bridged and he found himself entirely consumed by her. But this always reminded him of Hinata's pathetic, sodden figure sprawled on the bathroom tiles with the blood seeping from his wrists and flung him even further into despair. And then there was Kyouya, whom Sousuke felt nothing but deep repulsion for with every sighting or interaction. So the cycle of his thoughts continued to torment him with the presentation of those three figures. Sousuke struggled to find comfort in his own head and was constantly battling fiercely with his neurosis.

She tried desperately to get through to him. His absence from school for three weeks had still gone unexplained, although gossip had made its rounds from the archery club into the classrooms and thus Sousuke's vague injury had become subject to sympathetic nods and pep talks from anyone who could get close to him. Nobody pressured him into returning to the archery club and accepted his unwillingness to communicate as him contemplating his future now that a potentially debilitating injury was threatening to change its course. The worst part was, nobody asked him what exactly the injury had been, and thus the imparting of information turned to rumor. The girl crept ever closer, and he dodged her every time.

One afternoon he failed, however. Idling between classes, he found himself caught in the circle again and resisted the urge to slam his head into one of the lockers that lined the corridor. More than anything, Sousuke wanted to sleep like the dead, dreamlessly and for a very long time. Some nights, he was so dogged by the recurring thoughts, he would sit up all night, haplessly chasing the feelings Hinata must have felt as he climbed into the bathtub in a desperate attempt to understand. Other nights he was so exhausted that he managed to catch a glimmer of sleep, but he would find himself back in the underwater world where Hinata's macabre tea ceremony played out on repeat.

She approached him tenuously, making little noise in her uniform indoor shoes. Instinctively, he narrowed his eyes in her direction and she paused, uncertainly beside him, her eyes frantic with concern.

"Sousuke-senpai," she began, but he interrupted her before she could continue.

"You're going to be late for class if you don't hurry," he said harshly, turning away.

His stride was superior to hers due to his height, and she had to trot to keep up with him while he vainly attempted to shake her off. "Where's Hinata-senpai?" the girl blurted out breathlessly.

Sousuke froze. He understood that this was a conversation the two of them needed to have, but he couldn't find the right words. The faculty members had spent the last few days shooting down rumors and addressing Hinata's absence by alluding to a workshop in the mountains where Hinata was mastering his art. Being right on the back of Sousuke's absence however, many students refused to believe it. Sousuke knew that their lifestyle was out-modish and cultish. Students were not hard-pressed to believe that something strange was happening at the compound where the boy's lived.

"In the mountains," Sousuke responded, carefully and vaguely.

He made a conscious effort to look into her eyes as she said it and he balked at the sight of them, flaming with determination. Something stirred inside Sousuke; her eyes were filled with such passion beneath her chestnut bangs that desire began to mount and he had to turn away from her.

"Are you lying to me?" she asked him.

He glared at the corridor ahead of him. He had balled his hand up into a fist to stop himself from trembling. In silence, she took it and opened it up, pressing his palm between her own two dainty hands and peering up at him imploringly.

Something passed between them; something that drove the platonic nature of their acquaintance into new, virgin territories. It was tinged with their mutual attraction and it made Sousuke deeply embarrassed. Embarrassed to be at the receiving end of the look that she gave him and embarrassed to return it. He couldn't help it though. The air was heaving around him. He was thrown completely off guard and swept away by it.

"He's in the hospital," he said quietly. "Psychiatric ward. I found him-"

His voice broke off suddenly. It seemed like everyone else had vanished off the face of the earth. The compound and the rest of the outside world faded into nothing. Hinata became a mere concept. He was only aware that she was there in front of him, shyly stroking the back of his hand with her trembling fingertips. Their palms met and she held them together, her lips quivering involuntarily. Her attempt at comforting him had become something far more intimate than either of them had envisioned. It was distressing to her that such a scene would play out with the boy who shared her tormentor's face.

"He tried to kill himself," he said monotonously. He had to restrain himself somehow. Either he was going to cry or kiss her there and then.

She became lachrymose, searching his face desperately for some indication that he was cruelly lying to her. This was her worst fear. Hinata, who had been so sweet, so warm to her in the beginning before he had taken that sinister turn, had tried to commit suicide. Innately, she knew this already. Timidly as a cat, she pressed herself into him, wrapping her arms around his lean body and enveloping herself in his scent. She could hear his heart beating in her ear, and she held onto it dearly, closing her eyes and focusing on that gentle throb.

Eventually, he wrapped his own arms around her too, and the seconds dragged by, laden with their unvoiced emotion. In his grief, it seemed to Sousuke as if they were sharing the guilt, pressing their bodies against each other so that it would be distributed more fairly; so that Sousuke wouldn't have to carry the burden alone anymore.

The two of them parted knowing that they would probably never embrace again. She remained tearful as she walked off, heading to the café so that she could cry in peace. Sousuke hesitated, and then went to class.

Still dazed from the events of that afternoon and with the image of Hinata drugged into submission at the hospital hanging over him, Sousuke had little desire to watch his peers at the archery club. So that evening, he grabbed his shoes from his locker with the rest of the go-home club and made to leave. Before he could get out of his indoor shoes, however, someone placed their hand on his shoulder gently and when he turned to acknowledge them, his insides seemed to shrivel up in repulsion.

“Can I speak to you, Sousuke-kun?” Kyouya-sensei asked, gently.

His face betrayed no emotion so Sousuke nodded dumbly, struck by the realization that he might be confronted for embracing Kouhai-chan in the corridor earlier. This was illogical at best, but Sousuke still felt like he was in deep trouble for some reason, having been summoned by his love rival to the faculty room.

“I’m sorry about Hinata-kun,” Kyouya-sensei began when they were seated. His voice trailed off. He peered into the dregs of coffee in its takeaway cup with melancholy eyes as if he was reading his own fortune and avoided Sousuke’s gaze altogether. His shoulders were slumped and he bore the countenance of a man pummeled by guilt. “I’m sure it has been very tough on your entire family, but you especially. As Hinata’s home-room teacher I’d like to apologize to you personally for not noticing Hinata’s feelings earlier.”

The room was empty, with the rest of the teachers remaining in their individual classrooms or darting off to supervise after school activities, so Kyouya’s confession was strangely intimate, and Sousuke stared open-mouthed at the older man as he admitted to his own imagined failure with awe that was tinged with disgust. It was like confession in a church, with Kyouya bearing himself to allow Sousuke to pass judgement. He couldn’t shake the image of Kyouya stood between the girl’s splayed legs, however, arduously nibbling her slender neck. It emerged within him, crawling on spindly, inhuman legs, like an insect, and even though Kyouya was trying to topple walls with his declaration, Sousuke was quickly building them back up again in jealous haste.

“Haruka-sensei has offered to counsel you if you feel the need to speak to someone. He’s not an expert by any means, but his door is open to you throughout the day if you ever want to go there. Even if you just want to lie down or get away for a few moments, he won’t turn you away.”

"I'm fine, thank you," Sousuke said emotionlessly.

Kyouya was unsurprised, and nodded solemnly with his dark eyes still averted.

"Please don't feel guilty," Sousuke continued, suddenly ashamed at his own jealous rage, "none of us expected it."

This was where Kyouya glanced up and contemplatively began searching Sousuke's face. "Thank you," he spoke meaningfully, "but this isn't about me. This is about you and your brother." He hesitated slightly. "We are all here for you, Sousuke-kun. Your presence at this school is a source of immense pride for us, but you are far more than just a national champion in our eyes. Remember that. We don't bite. And we're not going to cajole you into doing anything; we won't tell you how to feel. But we understand that this has been a somewhat tumultuous year with your injury and now this; senior year can be stressful at the best of times even without having to experience something as traumatic as this last month."

Kyouya-sensei stood up, signalling the end of the conversation. He flung the takeaway cup into the garbage and glanced down at his student one last time.

"Haruka's offer still stands," he said, with a fond smile.

Sousuke sat there bewildered. His newfound hatred for Kyouya was mingled with admiration and it only served to frustrate him further. The teacher slipped out of the faculty room in the direction of the third year café without turning back and all Sousuke could do was stare forlornly at the mound of lesson plans on the desk. How could one person be so conflicted, he wondered to himself. Why couldn't anything just be simple?