#writing exercise for Charlie mostly

[markster666]

Every Thought, You. (SFW)

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader

Tags: Fluff, Flirting, SFW, Romance

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Word Count: 958

A/N: Thank you to @persephoneblck for this base writing prompt suggestion (with my own tweaks/spin). Unedited. Requests are open.

Ever since coming to the hotel, you have felt much less alone than you have ever felt in the duration of your life in Hell. Charlie was the first to greet you with open arms before you could even knock twice on the big, wooden doors. Vaggie was aprehensive about your arrival at first but quickly grew accustomed to you, mostly for Charlie's sake. Husk simply tolerated you and Angel Dust constantly flaunted his figure to... everyone. It made you chuckle sometimes but more out of pity. Every day and night, like clockwork, you did your exercises for supposed future rehabilitation and sometimes they made you feel more alone than ever, but you never felt judged by anybody there.

Not even Alastor.

The first time you two met, he was sitting at the bar, annoying Husk for another drink. You had arrived a couple days prior and had already settled in a good amount. You walked past the bar, not even paying attention to the deer demon staring at you, wide grinned. You almost reached your room before you heard a booming radio-esque voice behind you,

"Well HELLO there my dear! Haven't seen you around!"

You felt your heart skip a beat at the sudden noise and quickly turned around, taking in Alastor's features. His eyes reflected the red of the hotel walls, beaming at you. His ears twitched a bit at the sight of you, but his wide grin didn't falter even for a millisecond. He was dramatically hunched over with his hand out to shake yours. You stared at his hand for a bit until he retreated it as a sign that he caught on to your discomfort and he stood up straight.

"Apologies my dear, your look of fear is something I am graciously used to. I just wanted to extend my welcomes to you. Please indulge in my presence if you feel it necessary, I would LOVE to know what makes you tick!"

His head ticked to the side at the final word before turning on his heel and walking off.

As the weeks turned into months, Alastor's voice no longer startled you and his presence became comfort. You thought him charming and he thought you riveting. He allowed you access into his radio tower, even on his recording days. He had memorized your favorite song and learned it on every instruement and how pancakes make you nauseous in the mornings so you prefer oatmeal for breakfast. You once told him a new cologne of his smelled like all the good things in life, so now that's all he cares to wear. He learned that you have trouble sleeping without white noise, so he'll sit for hours next to your bed, gently humming in his radio voice your favorite songs. Your heart was pure and his heart was warm.

Alastor decided that tonight was the night that he was going to be open about his continuously growing feelings for you. He had gone through several sheets of paper in an attempt to write the perfect confession note and he finally settled on one. Earlier that afternoon, he had invited you to his room to talk and you said you'd be there. You have only been in his room once before because you went in with Val to ask Alastor to get rid of Sir Pentious's Egg Bois.

He heard a knock on the door and took one last deep breath before locking in his smile again and slamming the door open before you could knock again.

"Why hello there Darling, you look absolutely ravishing as usual my Dear!"

He gave you a quick kiss on your hand before leading you into his room and shutting the door behind him, helping you shrug off your jacket before hanging it up on a nearby hook.

"Please, My Dear, make yourself comfortable!"

You walked further into his room, scanning your surroundings before stopping right in front of the undefined line of where his physical room and the forest meet. Your eyes sparkled as you gazed up at the skyline.

"Alastor, your forest is absolutely beautiful."

He walked briskly to join you.

"Ah, yes, isn't it? I imported it myself. I delight in many meals here."

The sky stunned your senses. There were fireflies flying around the trees that rose submissively to the vast sky. The lavish green of the trees complimented well with the hues of blue shading above, the glow of the fireflies adding a etherial touch to it all. The thick fog made the sky's autonomy seem endless.

"It may just be the most beautiful thing i've seen in all of Hell."

Alastors eye twitches very slightly and his ears furrow backwards.

"I have to strongly agree with you, my Dear. Every time I gift my eyes with the sight of this, it helps me remember that there are still some fine things down here with me. I may be a connoisseur in all things audio, but nothing beats this kind of visual. I would relish in it for eternity if I could."

You glanced at him to show him that you were listening, only to have your eyes make direct contact with each other. Your heart skipped a beat as you felt his gaze penetrate you.

He was staring at me while he was saying that.

You smiled at him warmly as it finally clicked. He walked behind you and places his hands on your shoulders, gently massaging them as you both turned your gazes back to the forest.

"You, mon cher, are allowed to stay in my dreams every night. Always."

You took a deep breathe and closed your eyes, enjoying all of the sensations around you.

"And you in mine, Alastor."

[venus-haze]

Reach Out, Touch Faith (Father Charlie Mayhew x Reader)

Summary: Day 22 - Thigh Riding. Someone to hear your prayers, someone who cares.

Note: Female reader, but no other descriptors are used. No spoilers for the show in this fic. I finally caught up on Grotesquerie and had to write something for Father Charlie! Shoutout to @leopard-skin-pillbox-hat-ok for even putting this show on my radar. Title comes from Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode.

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: Sexually explicit content involving a member of the clergy, thigh riding, some degradation.

Only Father Charlie could walk the line between a wet dream and a saint. You found this out rather quickly after becoming a parishioner. It’d been years since you went to church, but moving to the small town offered little in the way of a social life outside of work, so you swallowed your pride and began showing up to mass, and then getting involved in everything from the soup kitchen to movie nights. He didn’t judge you when you admitted you were there to make friends. In fact, he encouraged it.

“People feel increasingly isolated these days,” he had told you. “The church used to be a place for people to meet and make connections, I’m glad it’s serving you that way. Gives me hope for the future of our parish.”

After just a few weeks, people actually got to know you, to the point where you were invited to get coffee with some or join others for dinner. But in your heart, you knew you were mostly showing up for Father Charlie. Especially since he followed you on Instagram, and you almost considered softblocking him so he couldn’t see what you were up to. Morbid curiosity got the better of you, and you followed him back, dragged to the depths your desire by the videos of him exercising on his feed—his toned muscles flexing, skin glimmering with sweat. Your hand flew to your mouth when he squirted water from a bottle on himself. What the fuck kind of priest even did that?

You could hardly look him in the eye the next time you saw him. When he cornered you after a book club meeting, it was almost like he knew.

“You know, for everything you’re involved in, all of the meetings and events you show up to, I’ve never had you for confession,” he said.

It was the way he said it—had you—that made you take pause. As if his being a priest obscured something close to lust, almost implied consummation.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to know who’s confessing,” you said.

“I’d know your voice.”

“I guess I’m just scared, Father.”

“Of what? God’s judgment?” he asked. “He’s merciful if you bring your sins to Him.”

“More along the lines of what you’ll think of me.”

He smiled. “You haven’t killed anyone, have you?”

“God, no!”

“Well, there’s blasphemy,” he joked. “Come by tomorrow at seven. No one else will be here. No pressure.”

Sitting in the confessional almost made you feel claustrophobic. You didn’t know what to do with your hands, so you folded them across your lap, waiting for Father Charlie to speak from the other side of the screen.

“How long has it been since your last confession?”

You paused, trying to remember an exact date, but nothing came to mind. “A few years, probably.”

“That’s alright. What sins do you bring forward today?”

“I don’t know,” you lied.

“You don’t know?” he repeated incredulously.

“No. I can’t think of anything.”

He scoffed. You could practically see the sneer on his face through the screen. “I can list off some. Pride, selfishness, leading others into temptation—do you have any idea what you’re capable of doing? The depths you can cause a man to sink to? The sins of the flesh proliferate every aspect of our modern lives and you—you just—”

“Father?”

After a few moments of tense silence, he spoke your name softly. “I want you to leave the confessional. If there’s no one around, come over to my side.”

“What?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself.”

Against your better judgment, you left the confessional and rounded it to the other side. When you opened the door, he looked at you expectantly, curling his pointer and index fingers to beckon you inside.

You hesitated. Almost took a step back, except he reached for you, pulling you in with him. If you thought it was claustrophobic before, your body, cramped in so closely with his, would have been enough to make you anxious on its own, but the proximity, his body heat, his dark brown eyes blazing with a vengeful lust, drew a whine from you when you were maneuvered onto his lap, one of his thick thighs between your legs. You suddenly wished you hadn’t worn a skirt—knee-length, modest enough when you picked it out, but woefully inadequate for the way his hand slipped up it, his fingers brushing your pussy through your panties.

“You should be ashamed of yourself, dripping with arousal in the house of the Lord.”

Rage filled your chest at his taunt. “You have some fucking nerve to accuse me,” you hissed. “Your socials are shameless. I almost thought I was on OnlyFans, the way you flaunt yourself.”

“But you liked what you saw, didn’t you?” he pressed. “Why else would you have come to confession if not for your guilty conscience?” He flexed his muscular thigh beneath you, a pathetic sounding whimper echoing from your lips in the confessional. “Unless you’re only chasing lust, that fleeting, deadly sin.”

“For the love of God, put up or shut up,” you snapped.

He was at a loss for words, then, and letting your pride get the better of you, you kissed him—claiming him was more like it, sinking your teeth into his bottom lip until he shivered beneath you. 

Steadying yourself on his shoulders, you rocked your hips back and forth against his thigh, the friction from the fabric teasing your clit so perfectly, you couldn’t help the cry that tore from your throat until he silenced you with his mouth on yours. Sweat rolled down your back at your exertion, making your blouse stick to your skin, the confessional almost suffocatingly hot.

“Is this what you had in mind, Father?” you mocked, your voice husky and almost cruel, though you knew if anyone walked in, they’d be able to hear. Wouldn’t take very long for a keen listener to figure out what was going on. “Is this my penance?”

“God, yes,” he groaned, his strong hands kneading your ass.

You chased your orgasm, finally finding it when he moaned your name in your ear like a prayer. Rode out your ecstasy on his thigh, a sick thrill rushing through you at the thought of the wet spot you’d leave on his pants, the physical evidence of your debauchery, if the only witness to it was the ever-silent, omnipresent, judging eyes of God.

“Is that all, Father?” you asked breathlessly, glancing down at the prominent tent in his pants.

With a shaky sigh, he leaned his head back, palming his crotch. “Go—go say ten Hail Marys.” 

When you knelt down at the pew just outside of the confessional, you began the first of your penitent prayers with the sound of his groans and soft curses echoing in your ears.

[kinopio-writes]

HH Characters x Physically Affectionate!Reader (Pt.1)

A/N: I don’t know why I decided to do this, considering I have three (requested) posts collecting dust in my drafts (along with an additional new one), but here you go. I’ve been feeling pretty unmotivated to write anything, so I settled on headcanons since that’s more easier to write for me.

Warnings: None

———

Charlie Morningstar

• she’d be a little surprised since she’s usually the one who initiates it

• but she gets over with it quickly and becomes really giddy about it

• you two go, “Mmm!” every time you hug (not a high-pitched “Mm!”, more like—“MMMM!!”. It likely depends)

• she’d probably give you tons of hugs after each exercise, especially if you did well (and if you’re a patron, that is)

• she also probably gives you quick and several pecks on the face

• she doesn’t really have a favorite one, but she loves being held

• overall, probably the best one to be affectionate over

———

Vaggie

• generally, she doesn’t like touch that much

• but if she likes you enough, she’s fine with mild touching (like on the shoulder)

• if you’re together, then by all means

• she’s usually the one who initiates it, though

• but unlike you, who’s so restless about it, she’s more on the casual side of affection

• she also doesn’t really have a favorite but loves holding you a ton

———

Angel Dust

• touched-starved, probably

• but that of course doesn’t mean he’s fine with you getting all handsy with him

• like, woah, lay off the merchandise! He doesn’t come for free

• he gets pretty confused if you do it without an ulterior motive of wanting something more

• but once he gets used to it, he loves receiving back rubs from you after a long day at work

• he also melts at any tender affection from you

———

Alastor

• very obviously differs if you’re a woman or a man (non-binary and others are in between, I think)

• he’s more tolerant if you initiate it out of nowhere and you’re a woman, even if you two aren’t that close (as long as you’re not someone like Susan)

• flirtatious intent will not be put up with, however

• actually, depending on what you do, it might go past his head and he’d think it’s just all innocent

• if it’s obvious, he’d either get uncomfortable or he’d hide the fact he’s uncomfortable (depends if he didn’t expect it from you)

• if the touching is what Angel Dust would do, radio static suddenly starts to play

• if you’re a guy, don’t even try, lol

———

Husk

• if it’s too early in the relationship (not romantic, just in general), he would be hissing at you—possibly growling

• but if you’re the type to be affectionate after getting close with someone, he doesn’t mind all too much

• he’s fine with anything just as long as you don’t try to do all those things while he’s busy as the bartender

• don’t try to overdo it in public, either

• in private, however, he’s all yours

• he loves it when you give him shoulder massages or back rubs

———

Niffty

• she doesn’t mind at all

• by at all, I mean at all

• but she usually initiates it, though

• mostly by climbing on top of you like a tree gremlin

• her favorite is when you pick her up and let her sit on your shoulder or head

• if you’re short enough, she loves holding onto your hand

[dollmoth-productions]

Hii!! I really like your platonic, yandere Hazbin Hotel writing and was wondering it you could do one with the Hazbin hotel cast dealing with Anxious teen reader who has panic attacks often.❤❤❤

Platonic Yandere hazbin hotel with anxious S/O

⚠️ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR AND DRUGGING AND FORCED KISSING STOCKHOLM OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOR STALKING POSSESSIVE BEHAVIOR STOCKHOLM SYNDROME MANIPULATION ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR AND DRUGGING AND FORCED ITS NOT HEALTHY ⚠️

…………………………………………………………………………

Charlie

🩷 she absolutely adores you and tries her best to make sure that you’re not as anxious as you could be stressed always weighted blankets calming music, lavender oil she has it all

🩷 she more an overprotective sister than anything. She just wants to make sure they don’t have a panic attack or anything like that. She even tried to convince some of the other rings to give you something to calm down.

🩷 if you are Hellborn she’s a little more overprotective mostly because unlike the sinners you are not immortal so she’s scared that you might die

🩷 but if you are a sinner, she’s a little more lenient however, you still have to do silly little exercises for the hotel 

Vaggie

🦋 she’s overprotective she straight up does not trust you around anyone else besides Charlie and herself

🦋 she’s very overprotective she’s an angel who lost everything so she sees you as an extension of herself

🦋 she doesn’t want you to experience the same thing that she did it would ruin her

🦋 She’s not as a protective or as possessive as the others she’s more like a overprotective sister she tries to give you exercises or stress toys like Charlie

Niffty

🐞 she’s a woman from the 50s. She probably doesn’t understand anxiety so she’s her normal chaotic self which is kind of funny and helps you in anyway.

🐞 she says the most don’t allow this crap so you pretty fast so if you’re having an anxiety attack, she helps you a lot

🐞 she put on roach puppet shows whenever you’re sad

🐞 all around she’s niffty nothing much has changed 

Husk

♠️ he’s a man with mental illness too. He understands the anxiety. He understands how it could feel to feel like everything is against you.

♠️ he makes you a drink not alcoholic but a kitty cocktail or soda tries to get you some decent food however it’s just bar food so it’s not as good as it should be

♠️ he’s a little bit more protective and possessive side so he’s always side no matter what

♠️ he has killed someone before for making you sad or caused you with severe anxiety attack. He didn’t care.

Angel

🕷️ he’s a little bit more modern, but I don’t think he fully understands mental illness the way that you do

🕷️ angel tries to calm me down by giving you fat nuggets or let you lie down next to him and has a casual talk with you

🕷️ he’s a brother he’s going to be a little bit more protective than the others. He kind of sees you as a fraternal sibling someone who cares and would kill for.

🕷️ he tries to spend as much time with you as possible, even if that means you know locking you and his room 

Alastor

🦌 the same thing as nifty he’s a man from the 1920s to 30s he does not understand mental illness. He thinks it’s fake.

🦌 however he does try to put on some light jazz to calm you down or tries to get you to dance with him

🦌 he’s kind of a funky dad if funky dad had a body count actually he has given you food with body parts in it just didn’t tell you because it was hidden

🦌 you’re his kid and you’re going to have the best food possible and it will make sure it’s delicious and homemade none of that produced crap 

…………………………………………………………………………

I had fun with this one a lot!!!

[irkimatsu]

I love your Husk works! Could you please write one where fem!reader gets along with everyone and Husk doesn't even realize that he's catching feelings, but maybe on a night out with everyone, someone comes up and starts heavily flirting with her. Ends with confessions and sugary sweet tooth rotting fluff please. 😍

God damn, anon, do you have any idea how hard it is to wring a confession out of this man? I was going along at a steady pace and then I got stuck for hours! I genuinely hope you like slowburn, because Husk doesn't go from zero-to-love easily. I think he's gotten a nice start here, though. It's definitely fluffy!

Husk/Fem!Reader starting a relationship. Mentions of drinking and attempted sexual assault that Husk interrupts before things get too heavy. SFW, 2.8k words. Enjoy! I hope this is what you had in mind, anon! Thank you so much for reading my works!

Your first few months staying at the Hazbin Hotel have gone quite smoothly; as smoothly as anything there can ever go, anyway. Charlie took an instant liking to you - she takes an instant liking to everyone, so it’s nothing special, but still. She can be a bit overbearing, but you know she means well, and she’s grateful to have someone who doesn’t immediately write off her trust exercises from the start.

Still, after all the sharing circles and art therapy, you occasionally find yourself craving more “adult” fun, and that’s where Angel and Cherri come in. It’s not that you don’t want to be redeemed, but what could be so sinful about enjoying yourself a little? You’re not doing anything dangerous or drastic, no drugs and no getting involved with the wrong people; you’re just having fun drinking, dancing, maybe smashing up some abandoned property if the opportunity strikes. Charlie can’t get mad at destruction if no one cares about the thing you just blew up, right?

The bartender, Husk, isn’t nearly as keen on those nights on the town, but you’ve still managed to bond with him on nights where you prefer to stay in. He’s a surprisingly good listener underneath his gruff exterior. (Perhaps too good of a listener; you hope he keeps ignoring whatever bullshit you might have spouted off after one too many of his cocktails.) He also has plenty of stories of his own, mostly from the time he spent alive. When you could get him talking, he’d weave incredible tales of nightlife, both from his home city in Las Vegas and all the other places he’d visited in his life. He seemed especially wistful when talking about a woman he knew back then. He could talk for hours about all the famous sites he was able to take her to, all the songs he would sing for her, and all the starry skies he’d dance with her under.

“It’s not like I blame her for leaving. I’m the one who screwed it up. But being in love… it was nice while it lasted.”

You try to encourage him with the hope that he could fall in love again, but he shakes his head with a bitter smile.

“I lost the ability to love years ago.”

—-

Your friendship with Angel and Cherri is so different compared to your friendship with Husk, so it took a few months before you could have a night out with all three of them. Charlie is once again less enthused about the idea of you four going out to party, but you promise to be relatively well behaved.

You promise, anyway. You can’t make promises for Angel’s sake, and as much as you love her, you know better than to have any faith in Cherri.

You’re surprised Husk agreed to come to a sex club at all. He never seemed like the type to be into that sort of thing. You’re less surprised to see that he has no intention of flirting with anyone and is instead perfectly happy to sit by the wall and knock back shots as quickly as the bartender can pour them.

Couldn’t he drink himself stupid back at the hotel, though? Why did he even come?

Is it just you, or has he been watching you the whole night?

The hours tick by, and you, Angel, and Cherri become progressively more wasted. Angel is currently hanging off of a muscular bull demon - damn, good for him - while Cherri tells you about another resident who used to stay at the hotel before he tragically lost his life during the last extermination.

“He was such a fucking idiot that it was charming, ya know? God damn I should have gotten to know him better when he was still around! I heard this rumor about him and never even got to find out if it was true!”

As she speaks, Cherri catches sight of a cobra demon who is currently chatting up a cluster of punk girls.

“Well, damn… maybe I’ll get to find out tonight. Don’t wait around for me, I’ll find my way back!”

With that announcement, Cherri is gone, leaving only you and Husk with about a dozen bar stools between you. He’s definitely keeping an eye on you; there’s still liquid in his glass, and  he’s watching you instead of guzzling it.

What’s his deal? If he wants to spend the night with you, why doesn’t he just come over here? You decide not to go over there yourself; no sense in rewarding him if he’s playing mind games.

You instead turn your attention to a handsome wolf demon who has taken Cherri’s seat. “Drinking all alone, love?” he says, his deep voice smooth as butter. Right away this man gives you the air of a natural-born charmer who can win anyone’s trust within seconds, only to break their hearts within hours.

He’s hot, and you’re drunk. You’ll let him break your heart a little.

Your conversation starts normally enough, with low stakes topics like the music and the drink selection in the bar. You’re in no hurry to tell this man anything personal or leave this spot with him, but you’re enjoying looking at him and hearing him enough that you don’t mind being a bit of entertainment.

He bumps your knee with his at one point, but you pull your own knee away. At first he seems to take the hint, and time passes without any more advances.

Soon, however, he grows more bold.

“Why don’t we go somewhere else, baby?” he asks as he lightly squeezes your thigh. “Somewhere more private?”

“No thanks,” you say as you jerk your leg away, though the motion doesn’t make him let go. “I’m fine talking here.”

“You know this is a sex club, don’t you?” he says. His smile and voice haven’t changed, but somehow he seems much slimier than he did five minutes ago, and the strong paw gripping your leg that seemed so enticing in your head feels suffocating in reality.

“I’m not here for that, I’m just hanging out with friends-” You try to leave the stool, but the man throws his arm around your shoulders and pulls you in.

“Come on, babe! What did you think I was after by chatting you up like this? You’re not gonna leave me hanging, are you?” He’s holding you closely enough that his hot breath is hitting your face, and the stench of his cologne is making you gag. “C’mon, baby, I’ll show you a good time. You won’t regret this-”

“She said no.” Husk had somehow snuck his way to your side without you noticing, and was now glaring daggers at your pursuer. “Back off.”

“Who are you, her grandpa?” the wolf laughs, refusing to unhand you. “Or just a nasty old man who likes ‘em young?”

Your captor’s laughter is quickly interrupted by a high-pitched howl. His face is now adorned with four jagged, bleeding lines.

“What the fuck, old man?” he yells as he unhands you. Just as quickly as you’re unhanded, you’re grabbed again, this time by Husk grabbing your waist and pulling you away.

“I knew I fucking hated this place,” he growls. “Where are Cherri and Angel?”

You have no idea, but your first guess has you looking toward the sex rooms in the back of the club.

“Jesus Christ… they’ll find their own way home. Come on, we’re going back to the hotel.”

You don’t appreciate being dragged out of the club like a misbehaving child, but as the alcohol clouds your thinking, you can’t quite formulate a protest.

Considering how pissed off your admirer must be right now, maybe it’s for the best that you don’t stay.

—

The walk back to the hotel is blurry; if Husk had anything to say to you besides pissed off obscenities muttered beneath his breath, you don’t remember it. Your next memory finds you laying on the couch in the lobby, your head aching from a combination of a hangover and the time spent laying on the couch’s arm with your neck at a weird angle.

“What time is it…?” you murmur as your eyes try to adjust.

“About noon,” answers Husk from the bar. 

As you continue to look around the lobby, he appears to be the only one here. “Where is everyone?” you ask through a yawn.

“Angel and Cherri still aren’t back, but I’m sure they’re fine. Charlie and Vaggie left to give you some quiet. Alastor and Niffty…” Husk shrugs after their names, then falls silent.

You groan as you push yourself into a sitting position, one that has you facing Husk. He doesn’t appear to have anything to do, and is instead standing with his chin resting on his crossed arms atop the bar. An awkward silence falls between the two of you, giving you plenty of time to observe Husk’s body language, particularly the way his tail is lashing behind him while his ear gives the occasional twitch.

He is not in a good mood.

“Are you okay?” you ask. Your well-meaning question only seems to piss him off further; he answers not with a word, but with a growl. “Is this about last night?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he insists.

“I’m sorry I caused you trouble…”

“Wasn’t your fault.” His tail lashes even harder. “Just don’t worry about it, all right?”

You’re going to keep worrying about it until he stops looking so on edge.

“Thanks for getting me away from that guy last night,” you say, just in case you didn’t thank him in your drunken haze.

“Hey, it’s what a good bartender does. When you see someone starting shit with another patron, even if it’s not your bar, you take care of the problem. That fucker had no right to put his hands on you after you told him to cut it out.”

He may be gruff, but at least he has standards.

“Can’t believe Cherri and Angel left you alone in there… those two better not take you to anymore fucking sex clubs, you don’t need to be around shit like that…”

“I’m a grown adult,” you protest. “I didn’t want to sleep with that guy, but if I did want to get with someone at that club, that’s my business.”

Husk’s eyes widen for a moment, before he returns to his original dour expression. “Yeah… guess you’re right.”

“And what about you? You didn’t look interested in picking up anyone last night. Why’d you even come?”

“How do you know I wasn’t interested?” he shoots back. “Maybe I was interested in someone! Maybe I just… didn’t have the balls to go for it.” He stands up straight and shakes his head. “Look, can we drop this? Hang out in sex clubs if you want, I don’t fuckin’ care.”

He’s speaking with the tone of voice of someone who very much cares.

“I’m done with ‘em, though. You’re right, you’re an adult, you don’t need me hanging around like some fuckin’ guardian angel.” He pours a glass of clear liquid, and you expect him to down it himself, but he instead steps out from behind the bar still holding the full glass. “I overreacted last night. Shouldn’t have made it your fuckin’ problem.” He approaches the couch, takes a seat, and offers you the glass. “Here, one last favor. Drink this and I’ll get off your ass.”

You take the cup, wondering if for some ungodly reason he’s trying to get you to down straight vodka.

“Why are you looking at me like that? It’s water. That headache’s only gonna get worse if you’re dehydrated.”

You take a sip of the water, and after only a few swallows you’re already regaining a bit of your desire to live. “Thanks,” you say before taking another large gulp.

“No problem,” he responds. You expect him to return to the bar, but he remains next to you on the couch. His body language has gotten no less agitated. What is going on with him?

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you doting on Angel or Cherri like this,” you observe before finishing the glass.

“They’re used to it, and they’ve got each other,” he says as he takes the glass from you. “You want some more?”

You shake your head, and he remains seated with the glass.

“You, though… I don’t know, something about that guy just pissed me off,” he says. “Even before he started touching you I didn’t like him. Bartender’s intuition, maybe? I’m still not over the awful feeling he gave me.” He sighs heavily. “I just… hate the idea of seeing you get hurt in a place like that. I know Angel and Cherri can take care of themselves, but you’ve never seemed as wild as they do, so I wasn’t sure…”

“Is that why you were watching me the whole night?” you asked.

Husk’s body jolts. “Shit, you noticed?”

“I kept looking over there wondering if you’d ever move from that spot, and if you weren’t actively drinking you were staring at me,” you said. “You weren’t subtle.”

Husk groans as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Sorry. I know you’re capable. I was just…”

“You weren’t there because you were interested in someone at all, were you?”

“I never said I wasn’t. I mean it when I said I just didn’t have the balls to say anything to ‘em. Instead, I just wondered… what I’d do if someone else asked ‘em. Knowing it’d be my own damn fault for not speaking up sooner. Trying to tell myself it wasn’t that big a deal if they went with someone else… until someone started flirting with ‘em, and touchin’ ‘em, and-” His body tenses as he growls, but relaxes after a moment. “Damn it, I haven’t had to do this in years...”

“Done what?”

“You know what I said about losing my ability to love years ago?” He turns his head and looks directly at you for the first time since he sat down. “...I think I’m remembering how to do it again.”

Things are starting to fall into place. “And the person who helped you remember is…?”

The slightest of smiles crosses his face. “Who do you think?”

You wouldn’t have guessed it before today, but it all seems so obvious in retrospect. He’d spent so many nights with you when he could have been in bed, just chatting with you or comforting you after a bad day. You’d really grown so fond of his smile, and Angel had told you before that he used to never smile.

But surely, you thought, he couldn’t have been smiling because of you…

“What am I even saying?” he asks as he turns away from you. “You died in the prime of your life, and down here you can have that prime forever. You could do so much better than a washed up old drunk.”

“You’re not washed up,” you assure him as you place your hand over his. “I think it’s great that you got to live such a full life! You have so many stories to tell, and so many talents… I bet there’s so much you haven’t told me yet.” You try to reassure him with a smile and a light squeeze to his hand. “So much you haven’t shown me, either. You talk a lot about when you were in a band, but I’ve never gotten to hear you play…”

“I haven’t touched an instrument in years,” he says. “I bet I don’t even remember how to play anymore.”

“Well, you don’t know if you don’t try, right?”

You don’t think you’re just saying that about instruments.

“It’s been such a long time… what if I screw up?”

You don’t think he’s just talking about instruments either.

“It can’t hurt to try. Maybe… maybe you’ll enjoy it even more than you remember.”

“Hmm…” He doesn’t seem fully at ease, but he hasn’t taken his hand back yet. “If I can get my hands on a saxophone, and I really haven’t forgotten how… sure. I’ll play for you.

…you just have to give me some time, okay? I’m not used to it anymore… especially with another person…”

“Take all the time you need,” you assure him.

He turns his hand around so he can hold yours back, and his smile seems to grow slightly. “Just gotta start slow… get used to things again…”

“You’ll be fine, I know you will,” you assure him. He seems content to leave the conversation there, but there’s one more thing you need to say. “Husk?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think I’ll be going back to that club. No point when I’m not interested in picking up dates anymore.”

He squeezes your hand. “Glad to hear it.”

[radioisntdead]

Buon giorno or Buona notte dearest!!

I have another request heheheh

Think of this : Angel and the gang go out for another trust exercise, and they see an add for one if m!readers concerts.

Since Angel is a fan, he asks to go with the group as a bonding experience, which Charlie says yes too

They go together, and m!reader is getting ready, when they see Angel and think he's quite cute, not knowing him from his ahem, works and they sing a love song (Heavy metal lover by Lady Gaga) and Angel almost has a heart attack.

(It's mostly the ; 'I could be your girl,girl,girl' part that I get inspired from)

At some point Val starts being a weirdo, and then m!reader publicly shits on him in front of their entire audience, and he leaves after getting taken away by a few of m!readers fans

And it ends happily ever after with them together forever :D

(Readers music vibe is like odetari, ayesha erotica, asteria, etc)

If you could do this, it would make my summer!!

Love

-XIN🌹💝

Good evening my dearest Xin! I had so much fun writing this, my apologies it took awhile to write but I hope you enjoy it!

Backstage passes

Angel dust x M! Reader

Warnings: Valentino gets ripped apart, literally. Reader is low-key like the dazzlings from MLP, also I imagine the reader died via Bell accident like that evil dude from Disney's coco

Song used [I listened to this song so much while writing that it actually made me sick LMAO]

You appeared in hell overnight after dying from an unfortunate and totally not planned stage accident, involving a bell, everything you had worked so hard for gone within a mere moment.

Filled with rage and the confidence of someone desperate to thrive in the spotlight, you began to conquer the music scene of hell.

You climbed the ranks and crushed those beneath you, if you weren't so focused on gaining fame instead of plain ol' power you'd give a couple of overlords a good run for their money.

You captured the attention of hell's finest, sinners and hellborn alike wanted to book you for their events, concerts were sold out within seconds, stan accounts on hell's Twitter servers would beef with those who opposed you, music edits were made of you, memes and clips, mildly disturbing fanfiction was written, you were an icon.

Along with catching the attention of hell's finest, you gained Angel dust as a fan.

Your music would be playing in the clubs he went to, sometimes played during his drag shows, he'd use it as background for whatever thoughts he disassociated away to whenever Valentino was having his way, or he'd just listen to your music when he was alone.

And so when Charlie somehow managed to get the entire hotel front row tickets to your show after he mentioned it's make a good group exercise, he was ecstatic!

The group waited outside, Charlie and Vaggie were trying to secure a place for them in line, Alastor would rather died again then attend so his ticket went to Cherri, Husk had found the bar, Niffty was terrorizing some sinners by cleaning, Sir Pentious was... Sir Pentious-ing Cherri bomb, and that left Angel dust to wonder around until the show began, stumbling into a nearby store to grab some snacks.

You on the other hand sneaked out to go to the convenience store near by the concert venue in full performance outfit covered by an oversized coat and hood just to grab a slushie and a light snack because with all the dancing you were going to be doing, you couldn't do on a empty stomach but not a too full one or you'd puke!

And that's where you saw him, purchasing a couple of things.

You had a little thing for cute things, and Angel dust seemed to fall into that category, for you anyways, for most of hell's people, they usually tended to put him into a more... Exploitive one,

It wouldn't hurt for you to make one of your people drop off a couple of backstage passes for that spider, after your show right?

Or better yet maybe you could do it yourself?

The concert venue was filled with sinners and hellborn alike from all types of backgrounds, all there to see you perform.

Including a couple of overlords.

Angel's eyes bounced around the stage waiting for your arrival.

Soon enough the bright lights dimmed and more colorful ones took their place.

Lights, smoke, action.

Heavy metal lover

Heavy metal lover

Heavy metal lover

It was starting.

Heavy metal lover Heavy metal lover

You came up from a platform under the stage smoke coming out with you as the music began, microphone in hand, and eyes closed shut.

Heavy metal lover

Heavy metal lover

Heavy metal lover

Heavy metal lover

Your eyes shot open as you began to move, background dancers were moving in sync, all eyes were on you.

Heavy metal lover

Heavy metal lover

Heavy metal lover

Heavy metal lover

Dressed in black and neons you practically glowed in the dark atmosphere,

"I want your whiskey mouth all over my blonde south," your voice rang out throughout the venue causing some members of the audience to scream out your name.

You struggled to hold back a filthy grin.

"Red wine, cheap perfume, and a filthy pout," you walked out onto the stage front and center, lights following you in all your leather-y glory, the backstage passes in your sleeve crinkled.

"Tonight bring all your friends, because a group does it better," Angel dust's eyes were locked onto you much like everyone's else's, like they were hypnotized.

"Why river with a pair? Let's have a full house of leather," Oh how you adored being the center of attention, you looked at the crowd, eyes glancing over everyone, a mild shiver of disgust went through you when you accidentally locked eyes with what looked to be a grape flavored moth.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

You quickly moved your eyes away to continue looking for a certain spider, honestly your attachment to see a sinner you only saw for five seconds tops in a convenience store was interesting.

What was even more interesting was your ability to avoid the explicit ads for the films he did, seriously they were everywhere in hell! Including said convenience store!

"Heavy metal lover,"

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

"Heavy metal lover,"

As you walked across the stage you kept your eyes on the audience,

Searching..

Searching..

And you found him!

Right in the front row, how did you not see him before?

"Dirty pony, I can't wait to hose you down," your eyes locked on him as his locked on yours.

Did that count as a horrible, HORRIBLE pickup line or was that just poorly timed?

"You've got to earn your leather in this part of town," it seems someone hadn't seen the poison music video! You flared out your own leather jacket, the shiny gems on it sparkling in the dark.

"Dirty pearls and a patch for all the Rivington Rebels," you winked at him before turning on your heel as your background dancers circled around you with all sorts of dancing.

"Let's raise hell in the streets, drink beer and get into trouble,"

You danced and your background dancers mimicked in perfect coordination.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

"Heavy metal lover,"

You began strutting to the center of the stage.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

You leaned down and went into what I can only describe as a sensual army crawl but without relying on your elbows to crawl.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

You moved towards Angel dust.

"Heavy metal lover,"

You reached out an arm towards him, gently tugging on his bowtie to pull him closer to the stage, once he was close enough you touched his face, his eyes were wide and his heart was nearly pounding out of his fluffy spider chest, you his all time favorite singer was touching his face.

"I could be your girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl,"

Within seconds you moved your arm just enough to loosen the backstage passes from your sleeve and have them fall into your hand.

"But would you love me if I ruled the world, world, world?"

You tucked the tickets into the front of his shirt where his chest fluff was located, being careful not to accidently grope the spider.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

You gave a wink before flipping yourself onto your back and throwing yourself up and strutting back to the middle of the stage as your performers danced around you.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Unfortunately a certain moth witnessed your little flirt, with his best pornstar? He didn't think so.

Without alerting the other two Vees who were actually focused on the show itself he marched his way through the crowd.

Heavy metal lover

"Whip me, slap me, punk funk, New York clubbers, bump drunk,"

Shoving audience members to the side, causing some to crash into each other and tumble like dominoes, grabbing the attention of others.

"Bud Light, liquors, bar slam, move it, this is your jam"

Of course that caught your attention, and you didn't appreciate someone stepping out and stealing the attention that belonged to you! That you deserved and worked so hard for!

"Wash the night with St. Jameson, Like a baptism, heavy metal lovers play,"

You took a couple of steps towards the side of the stage where he was.

"Baby, we were born this way''

"Uh oh, it seems a shiny headed purple man is trying to wreck the show! We can't exactly have that now can we?"

You could barely hear whatever words he was saying, in your prospective it was like a grape yappin' away.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

With a wave of your hand the crowd grabbed onto him, lifting him up and pulling him through, landing him in the cannibal section.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Grabbing onto his limbs and pulling them apart, teeth were sunk into him pulling at his purple flesh.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Attention was back on you, as it should be.

No one paid mind to Valentino's screams as if they couldn't hear it or as if it wasn't happening at all, completely and utterly enamoured with you and your music.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Heavy metal lover

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Neither of the Vee's would notice he was gone until hours after the show, no one would notice the blood scattered on the floor until late at night when they were cleaning up the messes, and no one would know what exactly happened to him until he eventually respawn, having lost everything.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Heavy metal lover

What a scary power you possessed, even if you didn't completely realize you had it.

But that wasn't the focus here, because as if nothing ever happened you went back to flirting with Angel dust from the stage.

"I could be your girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, but would you love me if I ruled the world, world, world?"

Eventually the show would end, and you'd wait anxiously backstage until that spider came, cashing in that backstage pass you shamelessly gave him from the stage, followed by the princess of hell herself moments later trying to get you to join her hotel.

Heavy metal lover Heavy metal lover, Heavy metal lover

And what else could you do then accept her invitation to join her little hazbin hotel, although you were anything but a hazbin.

And if you did manage to get past the pearly gates, you already had earth and hell alike in a chokehold, imagine what you'd accomplish if you performed in heaven?

Heavy metal lover, Heavy metal lover

It was a good chance to get to know Angel dust as well, the two of you would go from friends to something more.

Heavy metal lover

Friends to lovers was such a a underrated trope wasn't it?

Heavy metal lover

It wouldn't hurt to lean a little more into romantic songs, especially if you went the more cheesy route and played for Angel alone.

Heavy metal lover, Heavy metal lover, Heavy metal lover

You couldn't wait for the chance to shamelessly flirt with him while you were on stage again.

Heavy metal lover, Heavy metal lover

Good evening folks! I hope you enjoyed! I know my posting schedule has been a little wonky [side eyeing the Wednesday angst being posted on Thursdays] my bad, there's some personal stuff going on, plus I've been feeling a little sick but hopefully everything will be a little more organized this week! As always thank you for tuning on in, goodnight!

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

The way substance abuse has been handled on the show thus far genuinely upsets me and reeks of writers who either 1.) don't understand the subject matter they're presenting and haven't done even the bare minimum to research it or, worse, 2.) simply don't care.

Apologies for the slight rant incoming, your comment about how it has been mostly "handled" off-screen got me going because that's 100% true and in that truth is such a missed opportunity for the show. The way it has been handled winds up feeling incredibly shallow and juvenile at the end of the day, especially for a piece of media that is attempting to present itself as "adult" and navigate multiple incredibly sensitive topics. I'll try not to get into my own personal experiences and will speak broadly, but the show uses substance abuse more as a cheap character flaw to poke fun at or something to magically handwave away when it is inconvenient, rather than the life-altering, debilitating illness that it is.

Nothing about Angel's use is ever meaningfully explored. It's so (apparently) unimportant to his arc and development that one rude comment from Husk (a character who ALSO has a problem with gambling and alcohol that is never addressed) is all it takes for him to suddenly "resist temptation" and be shown as "recovered" (unless I'm misremembering). Or was he suddenly going to counseling off-screen too and its just another thing that will be told to us rather than shown? And how does Charlie even handle that at the Hotel (I'd be really interested in this as a moment for her character to have to grow/change too)? Does she even understand substance abuse and the many unaddressed systemic factors that can influence it? Or is the entire recovery process just shame based (because that works so well /s) combined with some more corny trust exercises? Why is this incredibly serious topic relegated to the background as if it's unimportant?

Recovery is hard. It is emotional and exhausting. Withdrawal (depending on what you're coming off of) can sometimes mean excruciating, unimaginable pain and in some cases people literally die. It is not a funny "ha-ha I take drugs because I'm chaotic and wild" quirk to be adored or glorified and it definitely should not be presented as something that can be wrapped up in a month or two off-screen without any development whatsoever. That's just insulting.

When you approach a topic like substance abuse and recovery, I personally feel you need to take in all sides of it. All the missteps that come with it (two steps forward one step back - mistakes are expected and okay), the self-loathing, the guilt and shame, the joy, the sense of freedom, the loss, and the best part of all: the incredibly difficult but liberating journey that is rebuilding your life and learning to love yourself and your body again, once you've chosen to be free and to live life.

Mad props to anyone who has ever battled this disease. You are strong, you are worth it and you are valued. Lol I am so sorry for going off here but I so appreciate you calling out the lack of exploration on this topic in the show. I guess I didn't even realize how annoyed and upset it was making me feel (praying this is coherent...).

This was absolutely coherent don’t worry!! Im really glad to see other people talking about this. I myself have not struggled with drug addiction but I have struggled with other kinds and as someone that studies a bunch of medical junk, I’d say I’m decently knowledgeable.

I’m mainly going to focus on Angel for this since he’s the main character I write for, but I assure you other characters addictions are also handled in my rewrite.

During the actual canon show, we don’t see Angel actually abusing substances that often; there’s a few times, most notably in episode 4, but from the rest of the show onward we hardly see anything. Yes in episode 6 they mentioned relapsing, which, mind you, was done horribly, but I digress. They touch on relapsing; Angel relapses, and then… what..??? What happened from that? I don’t feel upset or second hand guilt of any kind from this scene because we haven’t seen Angel’s attempts to stay sobre and off drugs.

His name is fucking Angel Dust. You don’t, I dunno, think that’d entail a higher dependency on drugs? Why do you think he named himself that?

About his name before anything else, the show has so much potential later on to talk about Angel picking out his drag name and why he chose that specifically. So much potential to explore how he views drugs and himself. He sees them as an escape and something “fun” to take his mind off of his actual life. When you die in a fucking coma and wake up in hell as a spider you’re going to want an escape. You will want to ignore reality. I am fully convinced Angel picked his name once he started performing because thats what he needed at the time. He needs to be like that to survive in hell. Angel is an incredibly mentally ill, troubled, traumatised, and unstable person, and being surrounded by so much intense negative influence only amplifies his current problems. I don’t mean to drag Vox in here but in my last redesign post I mentioned how very mildly bad people can become even worse people in hell because of the environment and this is no different for Angel. He’s been surrounded by crime and drugs his entire life and unable to live comfortably because of his sexuality. He has very likely been struggling with substances since he was a teen. Possibly even younger. He is not going to suddenly get over his addiction because of something like this. It could pave the way to him looking into dealing with it, but things like this can take years. I don’t remember when my addiction started; I’ve been clean for 2 1/2 years now I think, but the amount of relapsing and anguish I experienced while working towards that isn’t something that can be done in a few days or months. I still struggle with feeling like I deserve to say I’m recovering.

I’m hoping they tactfully handle this as they should, but my hopes are low. It’s okay to show a character relapsing. It’s okay to show a character feeling guilty. What matters is that the struggle is there to signify they’re trying. For a character with a song called “Addict” you really don’t see much of it. Drug and alcohol addiction is not a silly thing to just twiddle your fingers with and be like “well I guess thats over!” It’s incredibly insensitive to do so.

Whenever I write about Angel’s struggles with addictions, I focus on how small they can feel until you realise what’s actually happening. Just me talking about my rewrite again, but to get my ideas out here: Angel smokes often. He smokes at the studio when he’s stressed, he smokes at the hotel when he’s stressed, he smokes at in alleyways when he’s bored, there’s almost no location he won’t, but sometimes he tries to smoke less. His lungs aren’t the same as humans and technically he has 2 pairs of lungs, but smoking causes him to cough. This is painful in general and especially painful for Angel since he has barbs going down the back of his throat. Imagine choking on sandpaper, kind of like that. It’s painful, he doesn’t like the sound, Fat Nuggets REALLY doesn’t like the sound, and it’s an overall inconvenience, so he tries to stop smoking as much. Periods like this usually go fine for him until the stress returns or he starts to feel the withdrawal. Withdrawal from any sort of addiction is terrible, and in Angel’s case, just from not smoking it worsens his mental state further. He becomes irritable and stressed and that stress leads to wanting to smoke again to calm down. He may resist a few times and those times should be praised, but he gives in eventually. One cigarette to calm down becomes two, then three, and before he can process himself getting carried away, the entire pack is gone. It’s things like this that make addiction horrible. It’s something that deeply scared me when I was struggling. When I was struggling I was still in the mindset of “I can stop when I want to” and then being so suddenly hit in the face with the realisation that I’m not longer in control of this is terrifying. I could not stop when I wanted to. There were even points where I didn’t want to stop. Even just getting the smallest glimpse of this in an incredibly serious manner with Angel Dust would surprise me. To think the bar is this low on a show that seemingly prides itself on tackling such sensitive topics like you said is appalling. Your show shouldn’t have to be told how to write itself.

[wordsofmaeve]

Twilight Fanfic Comic: Darkest Before Dawn Welcome to the silly story I started as a writing exercise that evolved into a full-fledged fanfiction complete with poorly drawn storyboarding. If you like this, you can read more on AO3 :)

--------------------- Scene One: How you liking the rain, girl?

BELLA

Voice over

Because I could not stop for Death – He kindly stopped for me – The Carriage held but just Ourselves – And Immortality.

MUSIC STARTS AS THE SCENE FADES INTO VIEW, CLASSIC TWILIGHT BLUE FILTER WORKING HARD.

The camera pans through a mostly empty airport. there's a booth that has washington-themed shirts and keychains, with a sign that says "welcome to port angeles" in faded print. we can see it's raining in the windows as we go down a hallway, following a slender woman who is struggling to pull her big suitcase and put her jacket on at the same time. her suitcase has several cactus stickers as well as some band logos, a uoa sticker, and a book related sticker.

She is pretty, though not overly groomed, with long hair and big doe eyes. She's wearing over-the-ear headphones, and we can hear the music she's listening to. Her shirt a loose-fitting button-up, and she's wearing high-top sneakers.

The woman comes to the exit doors that say, "NO RE-ENTRY BEYOND THIS POINT," and she pauses for a moment to take a deep breath. Her expression is clearly anxious, but she smiles just before she opens the door and strides through, removing her headphones. Music fades away.

Rain pours down outside, but we see a tall man waiting nearby with a large umbrella. He's wearing a police jacket and a nervous smile.

CHARLIE

Hey Bells.

He steps forward, and the two of them try to hug, but it's a bit awkward and ends in a side hug from Charlie.

BELLA

Hey, Dad.

CHARLIE

Let's get you out of the rain. Is that all your luggage? (he carefully holds the umbrella over her head and begins leading her toward the police car parked a ways off)

Charlie has a slow, deliberate way of speaking that draws the audience in easily. Bella nods and gets into the car as Charlie loads her bag and shakes out the umbrella. They drive away from the airport, and we see a sweeping view of the Washington coast: tall, moss-covered trees, thick mist, a winding highway, and a grey ocean in the distance.

Back in the car, there's silence as Bella looks out the window, and Charlie looks from the road to her, obviously trying to decide what to say. They pass a road sign that says: "Welcome to Forks, Washington! Population: 3,385"

CHARLIE

So how have things been since graduation? Your mom made it sounds like you've been pretty busy.

BELLA

Yeah, you know, applying for masters programs and such. Trying to finish my book. (She looks a little uncomfortable)

CHARLIE

Spend much time with Nico?

BELLA

(glances at Charlie and then back out the window) We broke up.

CHARLIE

Oh. Well, I... never liked him very much anyway. (There's silence for a moment as Charlie looks anxiously between Bella and the road) About your car--

CUT TO: OVERHEAD SHOT OF THE POLICE CAR ON THE HIGHWAY

EXT. THE HIGHWAY SURROUNDED BY FOREST ON BOTH SIDES

The camera follows the car as it drives, though we can still hear the conversation in the car. As they drive the camera pans out and we see a flash of movement along the highway.

BELLA

Oh, I brought my savings, so I should be able to get something. Hopefully soon.

CHARLIE

Well, I, uh. Now, I know it's not what we talked about, but I found a good deal, and Billy said he and Jake would fix it up, so you don't need to worry about it.

BACK TO: CAR INTERIOR

INT. POLICE CAR

BELLA

Oh, you found me a car to buy?

CHARLIE

N-no. I bought you a car.

BELLA

(happily surprised) Really?

CHARLIE

I hope that's alright. You can use your savings to buy a few more cold-weather clothes. Your suitcase was suspiciously light—didn't Renee say she'd help you go shopping?

BELLA

You know Mom, ha. (She smiles, obviously not bothered by her mother's antics.) Thanks, Dad.

CUT TO: THE EXTERIOR OF THE SWAN RESIDENCE

The car pulls up to a small white and grey home that's surrounded by forest. Charlie gets out and goes to grab Bella's suitcase while she climes out of the car.

Bella looks around with a resigned sigh when something in the woods catches her eye. It's a flash of white and then it's gone, similar to what had flashed by while they drove.

BELLA

(Startled) Hey, Dad?

CHARLIE

(Unlocking the front door) Yeah, Bells?

BELLA

(Trying to peer into the woods but determines there's nothing there-- at least anymore) Ah, nothing, sorry.

[maladaptiveobsession]

Hi! Wellcome to my blog! Below I will introduce myself and discuss my boundaries. You can find my masterlist at the bottom of this post.

Introduction —

Please call me Mal!

My pronouns are xe/xem or she/him.

I’m genderqueer, agenderflux, and electio aroace.

I’m currently writing for hazbin hotel, degrees of lewdity, baki the grappler, and slashers.

My blog contains immensely dark, nsfw themes; all works tagged appropriately. Please exercise your right to block my page if my content makes you uncomfortable. I am not accountable for your comfort nor will I entertain hostility.

Boundaries —

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT; MDNI

Please state your age in your bio before interacting! You will be blocked if otherwise. If you aren’t comfortable stating your precise age, please at least somehow indicate that you are old enough to interact with adult content. That being said, I have neither the time nor energy to confirm the age of every blog that interacts.

Below are my kink request guidelines. If your kink is listed under the “not happening” or “may consider” section, it’s not because I care what content you consume, rather because I either have no desire to interact with it or I am simply not confident writing for it. Assume all unmentioned kinks are on the table until otherwise specified.

Content I strictly will not write for:

age play

age/animal regression

beastiality/zoophilia

chasity

cuckholding/cheating

diapering

eproctophilia

scat

underaged characters

vore

Content I may consider writing for on a case by case basis:

a/b/o dynamics

cannibalism

emetophilia

foot play/worship

force feeding

forced feminization/sissification

incest

lactation

moresome/orgy

mutilation/gore/guro

necrophilia

pet play

psuedo-incest

tentacles

tickling

watersports

Content I will happily write for:

age difference

breeding/impregnation

dacryphilia

dubcon

knife play

manhandling

noncon

omorashi

overstimulation/forced orgasm

period play/blood play

play fighting/wrestling

praise

purity kink/deflowering

sadomasochism

size difference

somnophilia

sounding

stuckage

teratophilia

threesome/foursome

voice kink

yandere

Masterlist —

🔞: nsfw

🧷: sfw/mostly sfw

Baki the Grappeler

Kiyosumi Katou period headcanons [🔞/🧷]

“Titfucking” — 2023 kinktober day 2 with Baki Hanma. [🔞]

“Teratophilia” — 2023 kinktober with naga!Katsumi Orochi. [🔞]

Degrees of Lewdity

“Pegging” — 2023 kinktober day 1 with Kylar. [🔞]

“Boot worship” — 2023 kinktober day 3 with Sydney.[🔞]

“Robin’s shocking discovery” — Robin finds the porn you drew of him. [🔞]

“Leighton’s delight” — Leighton discovers the porn you wrote of him. [🧷]

“Too little, too late” pt. 1 — LIs react to the player’s suicide. [🧷]

“Too little, too late” pt.2 — Bailey reacts to the player’s suicide [🧷]

“Magic Pocket Pussy” — The NPCs acquire a magical pocket pussy synced to the player. [🔞]

“Pubic Thoughts” — How the LIs prefer the player’s pubes to be. [🔞]

“That cute guy is kissing me!” — The player doesn’t recognize their Alex, Eden, or Bailey while intoxicated, but still finds them attractive. [🧷]

“Remy’s runt” — Yandere!Remy becomes infatuated with his littlest, mot obedient cow/bull. [🔞]

“Bloody Pussy” — How each DOL LI feels about period sex. [🔞]

DOL kink scale — How kinky are the DOL characters? [🧷]

“Your body was always mine” — You owe bailey, but are short on cash. He takes your virginity as payment. [🔞]

“Jealousy and isolation” — How the yandere DOL NPCs might isolate the player. [🧷]

“Pussy Munching” — How much do the DOL NPCs like eating pussy? Do they prefer to give or receive head? [🔞]

Hazbin Hotel

Yandere Vox headcanons [🧷]

Yandere Valentino headcanons [🔞]

Yandere Valentino/reader/Angel Dust [🔞]

Yandere Alastor headcanons [🔞]

Yandere Adam headcanons [🧷]

Yandere Charlie headcanons 🧷]

“Safe and sound” — yandere!Charlie/reader [🧷]

Slashers

“Misunderstanding” — yandere!Rusty Nail x reader [🔞]

[suite-purgatory-a-hh-what-if]

Hey so you said something about hh rewrites well I was wondering what's the biggest change you would make? And what couple or ship would you think you should develop more and make shine and if I may put my own option I would make Charlie a little bit more funner and I would keep all the trust exercises because I actually liked that though it was funny but I would make her have one on one moments with each individual like I I have her ask how they got their (get to see backstorys through Charlie) and have her have some of the activities more grown up like angle dust is their for drugs(i think idk) so like what if Charlie focus a lot in that and then I totally should have chaggie be the best couple ever i like the idea of them

Also sorry if i didn't do that write I'm new to rewrites but I do have a question so in your rewrite thing what should you make happened if the characters die because is always confuses me soo much like they could just pop up so hypothetically would adam just show up in hell? Idk i just can't wrap my brain around it

Also in your rewrites what would you do with Lilith? (Because in my personal opinion, I would love for her to just be as silly as Lucifer but also be a huge badbitch if needed to)

Anyways love your idea of a rewrite hope you do good and reach your goal what ever it is

I would consider one of the biggest changes so far, would have to be taking the first season of the canon show and be splitting its two main concepts into different seasons(having season 1 focus on hell and focus on the redemption part and having Charlie try to show that the hotel can be useful in redeeming the two sinners((with also a little bit of filler for the characters to chill and have vibe time)); and Season two would focus on the Heaven plotline with the six month time limit for the BIG extermination, and that Charlie has to get more proof that the sinners can be redeemd and are shead from their sins and many more divergent plotlines like Carmilla and (V)Aggies will be important for this season 2)

I think for the couple part, I would mainly wanna do only 4 prominent couples to get the development: Chaggie, Huskerdust, Baxty(Baxter x nifty), and Lucilith. I want to add maybe two more couples, but I also want to wait for more characters to be revealed in the series before making these choices. This would also mean ships like Cherrisnake(who is going to have a rivals-friend relationship), VoxVal(I despise giving Valentino happiness, and Vox deserves a bit better(just a BIT)), and Guitarspear(A one-sided attraction which will lead to despair) will not be canonized mainly so I can give other ships their time in the spotlight for development and want to show more dynamics for the cast.

For the ships, I wanna give Chaggie much more shipping and a couple of moments and show them being a great duo(and also having Aggie be more supportive of Charlie with also needing to give her hard truths when she needs to, with Charlie needing to be more understanding with Aggie and to not be too silly at times. Huskerdust will mostly be kept similar in canon with some needed divergence(some development is kept spoilers because I'm workshopping some ideas for development). Baxty is cause I really like the idea of Husk and Niff having a relationship with people who want to become better people, and it would also lead them into thinking that they should become better people too(Husks will be first, and Nifftys will come later) Lucilith… will be spoilers I will keep some things in cano,n but I need to see season 2(and maybe season 3 to see what will happen to their relationship to do but I have some ideas but some are highly spoiler plot related)

For when the people die, I don't have any major plans yet due to wanting to see what the show is gonna show about the death lore; all I can say about Adam is that I aint gonna kill him ;)

Lilith… I have some ideas but I still need to see what will the show do forward cause I while I still have some plans I want to see what the show will do with her and her mystery, and that I might have seen some spoilers about her…. but Im gonna wait till I see if any of that is true to decided what to write with her.

Also, thank you so much for sending me an inbox message. You are my first one \^w^/

(Also, I have a huge post coming up for everyone else!)

[miela]

Dear Reader

Hey, Hey, Heeeeeeyyyyy

Long time no update, eh? I hope you're all doing well! Let me know down in the comments I miss all of you truly.

Let's get this out of the way: No, I'm not here to tell you that I won't be continuing the fic. I certainly am going to. Really I just wanted to give you guys updates on what's going on and why my hiatus took 7 plus months unexpectedly. I won't go into the nitty gritty details of it all but I will give a general idea because it may result in other hiatuses (I’m working around trying to find a way to prevent that though).

Firstly, I have been dealing with chronic pain for the past few months. I feel it in my back, knees, neck and hands mostly. Which you can imagine, prevents me from typing, drawing or doing much of anything as much as I would like to. At most I can properly type a few paragraphs at a time before my fingers want to give out. Regarding my hands, I have no idea where this stems from (certainly not me cracking my knuckles as a teenager, not that can’t be it…), but I’m doing different things and exercises that have been helping me. For the rest of my body, I couldn’t tell you but I’m working on doing better health practices to keep myself functioning.

Secondly, I’m a uni graduate (yay). And I have been STRUGGLING at finding a job in this post-pandemic economy. I’m not even gonna go into the absolute outrage I feel about this. Either way, I got a small job at a cafe that lasted a month and it put me in such a depressive state that I just recently was able to pull myself out of it (it was seriously THAT BAD, guys). And on top of that I’ve been feeling like a failure for not being able to find a job in my field. Either way, I’m in my Miles Morales era and doing my own thing.

There’s more to it but those are the main ones. I have been thinking about this story NON-STOP so don’t worry I haven’t given up on it. I promise I will be back. I’m going to be writing, but I probably will be updating slower than usual. I want to improve in my writing and make sure the chapters are the best they can be for you guys to enjoy (literally I was reading Manacled and Crimson Rivers and the writing is soooo good that I was mad at myself for not being at that level even if I did have a decade long writer’s block LMAO). If you sent in any request for me to write, I haven’t abandoned you guys either! Don’t worry! I SEE YOU! I will give you your requests!

Speaking of, I am planning my next fic (literally ignore my trello I have to organize it honestly). It’s going to be Marauders Era one. I have a few ideas of what I want to do but I am excited to write it! More OCs to come! (Disclaimer: FUCK JKR, Let’s all steal the wizarding world and make it lgbtqia+ AF). 

Anyways, I didn’t say all this to gain pity. Please don’t pity me. I just wanted to keep you all updated on what's going on. 

It’s good to be back! I missed all of you. 

(Literally i'm such an asshole for leaving ya'll on a cliffhanger like that. I am SO SORRY. Literally tf is wrong with me fr.)

Tags:

@i-love-mommy-wanda @riordanness @peterdarlingg @thecrystalclarity @brckenmemories @paleprincesssxo @blackcanary130 @kindlover @i-have-no-life-charlie @melodicheauxxlovesfood @hufflepuff-n-fluff

[the-maddened-hatter]

hi!! if you're still doing the hazbindergarten au, I assume since you've done moxxie you also take helluva boss requests? if so, can we get hcs for fizzarolli and/or stolas?? ty!! this au is very fun jaja

Hi! Yes, I am still taking requests for the hazbindergarten au! (I just kind of forgot about it, but I still love it lol)

(btw you also get a bonus addition of Blitz and Millie because I had written up hcs for them and forgot to post them)

Blitz: Severe dyslexia & ADHD, he struggles badly with reading and writing, which is later found to be profoundly exacerbated by untreated strabismus that has made him blind in his right eye. His father is hinted throughout the series to be involved in several illegal business dealings and that the environment at home is far from safe. His favorite times of class are P.E,  free play, and art (his art always relates to horses and/or pirates in some way, regardless of the assignment). Blitz has a remarkable ability to cause chaos, even without particularly trying to (though he honestly very often is). He has vitiligo, and is a little bit older than his other classmates, turning 6 early on in the school year. 

Stolas: Born to an extremely rich and secretive family, he was initially enrolled in prestigious private schools, but repeatedly had to be discreetly disenrolled from them when he suffered “disgraceful” ongoing incidents of panic attacks and sensory meltdowns. Once he received diagnoses of autism, anxiety,  his father decided it may be “best to put him somewhere he’ll be out of the way” and enrolled him at the first special education classroom he found (which happened to be Charlie’s). Despite all of this, it does end up being a beneficial decision, with Stolas befriending Blitz almost immediately, and, feeling safe when he’s around him, becoming very relaxed and sociable. He mostly communicates through infodumping and scripting from all of the ridiculously advanced science and astronomy books he totes around with him at all times. His favorite time of the day is storytime and whenever the class takes a field trip to the school library he happy-stims the whole way there. Although he gets embarrassed that he doesn’t know as much “book stuff” as Stolas, Blitz enjoys being classroom buddies with him, with Stolas reading to him, and complimenting all of his artwork.

Millie: ADHD with severe hyperactivity & is profoundly hard of hearing. She has numerous rowdy siblings both older and younger than her, which can make managing some of her behavior in class rather difficult since being fast and loud is often advantageous at home. As the semester progresses she befriends Moxxie and helps draw him out of his shell, and she calms down somewhat around him. Her favorite parts of the day are P.E. and free play.

Fizzarolli: Afflicted with a profound connective tissue disorder that sometimes causes him severe pain. He wears complex orthopedic braces and sometimes requires the use of a wheelchair* when his pain is severe. His family works for, lives on the property of, and is implied to be indebted to Blitz’s father, with the majority of his benefit money his family receives for his medical care going towards their dues to him. He is very cheerful and sweet-natured, but if not engaged he will become restless and attempt to perform contortionist tricks for his classmates, not understanding that it will worsen his joint pain. His favorite parts of class are storytime and P.E. (where he gets to do P.T. exercise games with Pentious**)

*Pentious hates his P.T. exercise games, so Fizzarolli always does his best to make him feel better and have a good (or at least a better) time

**It’s very much a cobbled together DIY wheelchair, made from a plastic deck chair, some bicycle & big wheel tires, and a dismantled shopping cart. Everyone pretends it doesn’t violate 5 different school safety guidelines so Fizzarolli can enter the building when he's using it.

[infinitelibraryofheadcanons]

Male Sun Haven residents with a s/o who has anxiety

Hi everyone, I'm back! My apologies for the lack of posts recently, I have been a bit busy with things. But now I'm back to continue the "s/o with anxiety" series! This time with the male Sun Haven residents. I hope you enjoy!

~~~

Jun

- Oh, this man knows anxiety in and out. He's a counselor after all.

- So he would do lots of breathing exercises with his partner or set up an easel and a canvas to let them paint their feelings out.

- He's very gentle about it too. If Jun finds out about the anxiety before a big attack happens, he will ask what he can do to help and build a little "support box" with his partner, so they have tools to help themselves if Jun isn't around.

Nathaniel

- Nathaniel might seem like he's clueless about mental health things, but he has supported the new recruits before and given them advice, so he's not entirely in the dark - but not an expert either.

- So when it comes to his partner, he notices the signs quite early and gets them out of the situation immediately. In Nathaniel's mind, a change of scenery is always a good thing when it comes to this stuff. He would take them to the forest or a nearby waterfall, sit down somewhere and try to talk about it.

- He is also very open to cuddling in those situations. Even if his armor isn't the most comfortable...

Wornhardt

- Wornhardt is no stranger to anxiety - he probably suffers from it himself. Even though he does a lot to prevent his own anxiety, mainly through a healthy diet, it still catches up to him sometimes. Therefore he already has a toolkit for himself, which he doesn't mind sharing with his partner.

- This toolkit is very big - from scented candles and herbs to stress toys and candy, Wornhardt has it all. If he's at home, he'll let his partner play with Charlie while he makes some nice herbal tea for the both of them.

- Then, once the tea is done, it's time for cuddling. Lots and lots of gentle touch and comforting words. Wornhardt can be incredibly gentle and soft, but it's a side he only really shows in private. On top of this, he only really allows himself to be silly with his partner - tickling and pillow fights are rare occasions, but they do happen.

Liam

- Liam suffers with his partner, period. Having to run the bakery and take care of his sisters at the same time is a lot of stress, so he's glad to have his partner around - even if they get overwhelmed sometimes too.

- When both of them are feeling under the weather, Liam will invite his s/o to bake with him. Not for the bakery per se, but just for themselves. He'll close the bakery for the day and spend the morning baking with them and goofing around a little bit.

- Then, in the afternoon or evening, Liam will take his partner and his sisters out to a field for a picnic with the baked goods. He loves seeing his sisters run around the field and enjoys spending time with his partner in this relaxing environment.

Claude

- Claude is mostly alone and completely fine with that, but it would be a lie to say that he never feels unwell mentally. Though, with anxiety in particular, his experience is very limited.

- So when he notices his partner feeling under the weather, he will invite them to listen to him play some music or put on one of his favorite records.

- He will even go down to Liam's bakery and buy some sweets for his partner. Yes, he would willingly go out and talk to people. As long as it isn't too far away from his mansion of course...

~~~

Again, it's a lot of fun to write these! Next up are the female Sun Haven residents. Let me know how you like this series and if you want me to do the residents from Nel'Vari and Withergate too!

See you next time!

~Curator Silver

[a-hazbin-reader]

First of all, adore your blog, it and your writing is wonderful! 💜 Saw some folks chiming in with OCs and I thought I’d share mine!

There’s two because I wanted to make one associated with either trip from the pilot, so, one from the hotel and one Alastor calls in. I’ve decided, in the fic I’m writing with them that the two of them are gonna end up romantic because I can

We’ll start with hotel boi. Locke is a golden fox demon who was originally from Britain. He was a troubled kid, who would run around getting into mischief with his schoolmates, petty theft mostly and lots of it. His father and older brothers joined the fight in World War 2 but he avoided it like the PLAGUE finding any excuse to stay home. The war came to him anyway and he died being crushed by a falling church during the London Blitz. In Hell, he has remained a thief and coward, stealing from overlords and avoiding the consequences by joining Charlie’s hotel. He feels guilty about it, but not guilty enough to fully change (yet). His sins include: Greed and Sloth and maybe Envy a little bit

Lasso hails from the western US, having grown up on a prosperous ranch with her family and helping run their maybe-less-than-legal family business if you know what I mean. In Hell she has taken the form of a massive, muscled bull (I am aware that female cows do not have bull horns and are not used in matador fights but the imagery was too good to pass it up). She had and still has an anger problem and could go into blind rages, Wrath and Pride are her sins of choice. Before she died she was set to be married to a friend of the family and she had been so happy that she had not noticed her beau poisoning her whiskey and she died without the ability to fight back, almost worse to her than the dying itself. Arriving in Hell she was tearing things up until she ran into some trouble, against her will she was pulled into a fighting ring for other sinners’ entertainment, poking and prodding her to make her see red before a fight so she can be as vicious as possible. Alastor stumbled in one day and saw a woman in trouble and helped her out, also seeing a valuable asset. In the time honored Hell tradition, Alastor gained another female bestie that day. He calls on her help to run maintenance and upkeep for the hotel because A) He knows she can do it and B) It’s an exercise in futility which means he can laugh as her bovine nose shoots smoke and fire when she inevitably blows a fuse.

Both of them take a real shine to Charlie and through her help and slowly bonding with each other, maybe they can turn things around. I don’t know (I do know)

STOP THE BULL AND THE THIEF I CAN'T IT'S SO ADORABLE

[divinekangaroo]

furthering tommy-sexuality and intersection of ethnicity discussion with @deadendtracks from this post:

I do wish I could be more concise about this so sorry for the ramble - too much I think is still trying to sort it out through the process of writing it. These moments I really appreciate your concise, coherent meta posts! I also don't think I've properly answered the question, but contains more broader context around my thinking.

"This is a very interesting approach that I don't think I fully disagree with, but where I hesitate is that Tommy's the only character in his family or extended kin group who uses his body like this. / What do you make of the fact that Tommy is the only "subaltern" character we see who uses himself sexually the way we're more used to seeing a woman do?"

I think Polly and Ada do it too, though? And I also think Arthur does it particularly with Linda but it’s in a very differently articulated way, but this definite sense of the use of the body. (I *headcanon* Tommy also saw his father do it, too, paying off a debt to some English woman with authority this way, and one day some husband/brother etc cut up Dad as a consequence, but off I spiral -- this was born out of very micro hints of Arthur Shelby Snr as a wandering Casanova using sex as a (theoretically) no-personal-cost way for a man to slide out of situations or obligations, and Arthur Snr's association with prostitutes without any war-soldier-prostitution linkage to drive that connection.)

But, I also feel there’s a deliberate presentation of Tommy’s consideration of his ethnicity as different to how most of his family consider it (long different conversation), because of the alignment to his mother that none of the rest of the family have (another long different conversation). This assumes a reading of his mother as far more closely associated with his (rather silent/compressed) relationship with his ethnicity, too. Polly and Uncle Charlie's comments reinforce this reading in a few points. So this different relationship he has with his ethnicity also leads into a different intersection of that with his sexual activities.

When Tommy does use his body, I think it’s repeating behaviours he’s seen and understood as an available way for those with no power and limited influence to exert more influence, and those behaviours were drawn from watching the behaviours of primarily women of his family. And will mostly talk about Polly because that's what we do see on screen, extrapolating there was more of this sort of exchange going on around Tommy in his youth, too.

And while there’s an argument to be made that using sex/body is a behaviour available to any person with no power trying to exercise influence (many stories of women over time) without the subaltern/ethnic layer, it’s difficult for me to detach ethnicity from Tommy and Polly's on screen behaviours, because their ethnicity is a huge contextual-for-the-time part of what limits their power/influence in the first place. I think the show also includes significant hints of the Othering/exoticism associated with Tommy’s (and Polly’s) ethnicity in a way that shows it is connected to sexual behaviours/body trading – May talks about everyone laughing about when he’ll steal the silver, which is a Romani stereotype more than working class or racketeer; I think you mentioned once Tatiana does it too with the allusion to Tommy squatting in his own house. Polly has Campbell (the whole exchange is subaltern coded) and Abarama which is also ethnically *heavy* if not in the same way as with Campbell because Abarama is Romani too. And for Tommy: Campbell, Hughes and Mosley’s sexually charged ethnic slurs (or ethnically charged sexual attacks?) towards Tommy are a whole essay on their own.

For Polly, feeding into my thoughts around subaltern coding: stolen children and Polly’s sexual behaviours, including approaching Campbell. Stealing children from certain cultures/families is not just a poverty/class thing, taking children was a deliberate targeting of the Romani culture (amongst other cultures) to detach children from the culture and destroy/degrade culture, in a similar way (if not as governmentally sanctioned/policy-driven) as the Stolen Generation in Australia and other colonial government policies over indigenous (subaltern) cultures. So from that particular approach, I’ve then read every one of Polly’s actions to protect Michael (sleeping with/rape by Campbell, sleeping with Abarama, even her actions with Tommy in his clannishly coded position of masculine/head of family privilege) as coming from that place of the woman-subaltern, lower even in status than the male-subaltern. So Polly’s behaviours with Campbell and Abarama translate directly into my reading of the subaltern coding around her sexual behaviours, which then has a copy/mirroring in Tommy’s own sexual behaviours.

There’s also an interesting question I ask myself as I ponder why I've taken this reading. If Tommy were instead a Romani woman who engaged with her cultural/ethnic signifiers in the same way Tommy does*, and she used her body for sex with higher class English men to obtain influence where she cannot obtain or apply power, would the exotification / Othering / subaltern coding associated be a discussed layer? A Romani woman using sex as trade to gain influence? And I think, but of course it would, this is a tale as old as time...but because Tommy’s a man, there’s always that sort of mental hiccup first?

*which he does in fact do, it's not non-existent. But I think the complexity starts to come in with what and how exactly these cultural/ethnic signifiers are engaged with by Tommy / his partners, and how obvious it is or isn't, because the show doesn't always treat this as a direct or foregrounded thing. For example, to reframe that question, is Romani Tommy (male or female) exoticised/othered/[consciously acting as or unconsciously portrayed as] subaltern in sexual encounters for influence, if he and his partners *don’t in any way* acknowledge his ethnicity in any way? Probably not, BUT, his partners (and sexual aggressors) actually do acknowledge his ethnicity if with varying directness, and using uncomfortable stereotypes/terms. Tommy either forcefully silences his ethnicity in their encounters, or, he acknowledges his ethnicity but it’s in difficult and uncomfortable ways.

Tommy almost deliberately omits engaging on any ethnic line of dialogue with any of his partners raising it to his face. (I swear the only time he says Gypsy all 6 seasons is when he shouts at Lizzie in S6 in his panic.) Class dialogue, yes; ethnicity, no. And Tommy's silences say a lot. Vulnerability, shame, tool, sense of self, etc: the ethnicity is almost more sensitive and can't be talked about because it's something he can't change, whereas he (sort of can) with class via money and rank. He does *use* his ethnicity as a tool (his Romani connections/forces, the way gangs even being formed tend to occur on ethnic lines in the first place because general society even working class shuns that ethnicity, aspects of trying to find comfort like potentially his retreat to the road and Zelda after Greta died; seeking the first Barwell sister after Grace died; the protection motifs around Ruby; using the language in front of others to speak secretly but in plain sight) but it's almost more frequently a vulnerability and liability (the reason for his disadvantage, the weight of inevitability of suicide, seeing visions etc).

I also think on how he has this repeated motif of being almost physically incapable of talking about the things most close to, hurtful, risk of hurt to him, and it seems his ethnicity fits into this, too. He doesn't even talk directly to Polly about it except in his fit about his mother in S4, and even that's a sideways, indirect mention. He says something like 'going like Mum, speaking to the dead, scaring the kids' - but because we've seen Polly's behaviours we understand that 'going like Mum' means Polly leaning hard into her take on Romani mysticism and calling it her Gypsy blood/opening the door to Gypsy foretelling/seeing things etc; from this I make the link that Mum = Romani; Tommy's complicated relationship with his mother = Tommy's complicated relationship with his ethnicity. Every time Polly raises their Gypsy blood, he lets her speak but won't engage. Even Uncle Charlie's commentary around the mother's suicide, everything framed around that is Romani - the horse, the travelling, the Gypsy mythos. And again Tommy says nothing when he hears all that. It all feels like a wound he can't touch, ethnicity / mother. (He also never engages with Alfie on this line, despite multiple times Alfie opens that door.)

And so the deliberateness of his omission conversely makes his ethnicity feel quite dominant in his sense of self and identity for me, in the way this series frequently uses silences and omissions to show the shape of something there.

Where it gets to his sexual actions as [partially consciously subaltern] or [unconsciously subaltern but consciously portrayed as such by the show], I suppose the guts is that I feel like he carries his awareness of how other people view the Romani, and his discomfort with that awareness and the discomfort/hurt with that part of his self that he can never get away from and that has disadvantaged him, into his sexual encounters (except for Grace in S1) -- but that in parallel, his decision to proactively trigger sexual encounters as a way to win/exercise influence is also weighted by a sense of ‘this is what I need to do because this is a tool I have available’ and his internal definition of ‘I’ includes (amongst other things) ‘Romani’.

I also think, like: a Romani woman using sex with upper class men to gain influence, becomes a conversation about stereotyping, authorial and period specific contextual justifications, as well as character justifications; but given it's a Romani man doing it, I've been fascinated in fandom discussion it's almost automatically honed in on masculine vs feminine behaviours only. The Romani layer is silenced in so much fandom discussion -- as if the masculine v feminine becomes the sole question rather than as well as, why does a Romani man in particular in that position maybe think to behave that way/why did they choose to portray a Romani man in particular behaving that way. Like, could any of his thinking to behave that way (or, could the expectations and approaches of his sexual partners/aggressors) have anything to do with the rather abundant late 1800s/early 1900s literary and pseudoethnographic texts which exotify and hypersexualise his ethnicity? (watch out for that gypsy man stealing women, the tinker sleeping with your wife while you're at work, etc etc; then he looks at someone like May, and maybe Arthur and John only see a hunger for working class cock, but Tommy is maybe consciously just a little bit leaning into that exotic stereotype as well, horses and goldfish etc, because it might gain him advantage?) Or even authorial intent to really hammer home the subaltern nature of this character because look, even in sex as a man who is in theory has more privilege in bed, this character still can't be free of behaviours and manners which tie back to his ethnicity?

But I know and sorely feel how much harder it is to write and think effectively about ethnicity in a public forum, because it can be so much more hurtful and real and intersectional, than it is to consider slightly more abstract concepts, such as the masculine animus and feminine anima, and mother-parallels, that become more symbolic, character-only, and which can be contained and referenced within the source material alone, hence, IDEK, it's a safer dialogue, and so~?

[panelshowsource]

it's strange to you that people talk about not having seen charlie brooker in a while because he might be on a future episode of a show that hasn't been confirmed let alone aired yet? seems a bit unfair

charlie's certainly been very busy writing and producing lots of series! some people may not know he created the beloved cunk on britain and is now working on cunk on earth, he worked on the death to 2020 mockumentary, off the back of bandersnatch he wrote and produced a kids show for netflix called cat burglar. he's a busy man! but we were used to seeing him in the panel show sphere for so long that naturally the once-every-couple-years appearance doesn't fulfill the painful nostalgia sadly

hahahahahahaha that is soooooo funny to think about and i can hardly disagree with you. but omg victoria in the woods? VICTORIA? pleaseeeeee 😭

glad you're having fun! :')

i do remember it! i was (and am!) a huuuge doctor who fan and got into panel shows as a kid because i was following people like tennant and (speaking of problematic "comedic" behaviour of the noughties) barrowman, who would sometimes appear on them, and i feel like i remember — am i remembering correctly? i swear this happened — barrowman was on quiz night and ran on stage and ate shit? like he fell face first into the floor? something like that, and the whole studio went silent! that sticks out in my mind hahaha

that show is a prime example of how a 12yo american girl can know who, like, clare balding is. because people ask me allllll the time if i understand british cultural references and socio-political history, and i'm telling you shows like quiz night were how i absorbed some of the most random names and events! i also think quiz night was on the more adult end of the spectrum — compared to, like, the actual content of buzzcocks, wilty, argumental being easy for a kid to digest because it was mostly just adults shouting at each other about meaningless things — but quiz night felt like more of a brain exercise at that age, following more adult convos and banter than some of the other shows

still, even then i really never liked chris moyles. don't get me wrong, there's a fair share of 2000s/early 2010s british comedy and general british telly content i really love or just have strong nostalgia for, but there was a strong lad/ladette culture at the time that resulted in tons of homophobia and fatphobia, "taking the piss" that was actually just bullying, clarkson, you know what i mean — and chris was always one of the voices at the forefront of keeping that culture popular in radio and comedy, in my mind. so i always had a problem with him, even way back. honestly, i don't really like any of the big name djs like him, chris evans, johnny vaughn, etc. is he even a big thing anymore? i don't really know how his career trajectory went after leaving radio one

LMAO he must because i've seen plenty of his other outfits and they are certainly not grey, this is another one of his silly inside jokes — and by inside, i mean with himself — and i gotta admit it's worth a chuckle hehe

well no one's perfect :)

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