#writing btb

[okamirayne]

(2) It seems to me that when it comes to fanfics the biggest challenge is keeping characters in-character. This is usually the first thing that discourages me from reading. On the other hand, however, everyone has their own image of the character, because we personalize them and often identify with them. So when we meet someone else's image of this character, it is easy for us to criticize and take all the differences personally.

Abso-bloody-lutely, luv. This is where you can’t please everyone.  Respecting the original mould of the character is something I try my damnedest to stay true to when writing fanfic. That being said, obviously I enforce huge creative leeway to change certain aspects or dimensions of said characters for the sake of the story I’m trying to tell. Invariably, it’s about fleshing out characters and working with the hints dropped. I love that.

But then again, depending where your ink-monster is taking you, a sharp diversion from canon may be demanded. To each their own interpretation. At the end of the day, Kishimoto is the only one who knows who his characters are -- being allowed to play with them without profiting financially in any way from my humble interpretation is the respectful joy of fan-fiction. It’s a great forum to practice writing. I definitely believe fanfic is an excellent way to learn to write characters without projecting your own crap onto them; I can’t stand Sakura’s lack of self-respect in the series, but when writing her, I can’t overlook the crux of her Sasuke-obsession and it forces me to bend my brain and be in her skin, seeing it from her perspective regardless of what I think or feel about it. I don’t need to rewrite her as a “strong woman” who kicks her obsession to the kerb and suddenly discovers what I perceive to be self-respect...that’d be like wiping Ino clean of all the insecurities that (I’ve imagined) drive her to appear superficial on the surface but deeply conflicted and layered beneath the veneer. I love those depths, even if I have to imagine/create them due to the lack of explanation in the canon world. Development of these flawed characters rather than total distortion...at least I hope so??? 

Wow...I’m rambling. 

Sorry, you’ve got my brain on a roll. ha. Not good. Only so many loose marbles I can spare!

[okamirayne]

(1) Thank you for the quick and clear answer. It seems to me that "trope" and "imposter" problems are very common and it is also difficult for me to overcome it. That is, the authors try to be original, which is not always good if it is done at all costs. Being an artist means learning from those who came before you. Nothing is really new in this world, but it is different if you manipulate it with your thoughts.

My pleasure, luv.  I think the pressures of attempting to be original can prevent one from trusting in the originality of their own expression.  No one will see something exactly the same as another; inspiration can sometimes be misconstrued as derivative or appropriation -- which really irritates me at times. Of course, you can tell when someone is blatantly ripping off another person’s work or trying to pass it off as their own (heaven bloody forfend). On the other hand, you can be inspired by a piece of art, writing or music etc. and go on to create your own unique expression.  I see it as sitting by a fire and watching the myriad sparks given off...you can catch a spark from another’s fire and then with that tiny spark of inspiration, it ignites something in you that goes on to light your own creative path and kindles itself into a unique flame. Or, that spark comes from somewhere ineffable -- you can’t explain it, you just feel it or know it. 

You might see that same spark reflected in another’s work and it helps you to illuminate your own. Creative magic is a mystical phenomenon for me...and I won’t pretend to know exactly how it works...but damn, it’s a beautiful thing.

[okamirayne]

(2) So as a big fan of discussion, I was hoping to meet some critical comments so that I could analyze your piece more, be able to confront it and draw conclusions also because I try to write myself. I didn't find any. I don't mean that if everyone praises something, there must be something wrong with it and "I will dislike it", as I mentioned, I'm impressed with your writing. I will understand if you do not want to answer this question.

Hope my previous reply/post answers this, luv!  The BtB series was a huge experimental piece to prepare me for writing my original works series.  Given that it was and remains the test-run for my writing development, there is plenty to be found that could do with editing or re-evaluation. As it stands, given how deeply self-critical I am of my work, there comes a time I’ve just gotta let it lay, otherwise I’ll paralyse myself or lose my mind....and to be fair, I’ve faced both!

Again, I think this impostor-syndrome dilemma is another curse of the creatives, which is why I LOVE this quote by John Steinbeck, it helps me a lot and might resonate with other writers:

I think another thing is whether you’re analysing a piece stylistically/structurally or whether you’re analysing it psychologically/metaphorically/thematically etc.  Different discussions to be raised for those two different approaches. Personally, I place a lot of value on the psychology, themes, motifs etc. which comes with a lot of moving parts, and naturally, has a larger scope to explore, given that so much comes down to preference and what resonates on a deep level -- which is different for everyone. If the work reaches, speaks to, or touches you in some way, then I’ve done my job regardless of what my perfectionist-muppet-of-an-inner-editor tells me.

For each writer, as for each person, I feel the journey is very personal. Gotta share another gem that summaries this so beautifully...

If there is a magic in story writing, and I am convinced that there is, no one has ever been able to reduce it to a recipe that can be passed from one person to another. The formula seems to lie solely in the aching urge of the writer to convey something he feels important to the reader. If the writer has that urge, he may sometimes but by no means always find the way to do it. - John Steinbeck

I will definitely say that one hugely negative thing that fanfic writing did to me was teach/distort my brain to edit as I wrote in order to produce long chapters quickly, polish them up, then post...which is NOT how you write a standard novel. 

You write the whole. damn. thing. The whole damn shitty draft FIRST -- and THEN you edit and polish it up in the re-writes...

Forgetting and going against this significant rule of thumb severely stalled my original works -- along with total mental burn-out. Re-learning how to write without stopping to edit and polish has caused me a great deal of angst and still does at times. I’m still having to re-learn how to do this “write the whole bloody thing first and let it be shit before you touch it again” thing...and it’s been extremely bloody challenging to re-wire this habit into my system... which is why I’ve gotta share another golden nugget quote that I need to tattoo onto my brain. Again, maybe it’ll help other writers who struggle with the same demon.

Write freely and as rapidly as possible and throw the whole thing on paper. Never correct or rewrite until the whole thing is down. Rewrite in process is usually found to be an excuse for not going on.  -- John Steinbeck <3

Thank you for taking the time to leave your questions, Anon!  I hope you’re safe and well, wherever in our crazy world you may be. <3

[okamirayne]

(1) Hello! I don't want to sound passive and aggressive and I've been thinking for a long time how to formulate this question so as not to offend you. Is there anything you don't like about the btb series? Or is there any particular criticism that affects you more? I mean, I am among people who are impressed with your writing and your work is quite popular among fans of this ship.

Hello, luv!

Wow, not at all passive aggressive and very constructively and tactfully posed. Oh my god for sure.  There’s a fair bit about the series that I don’t like and/or would want to revisit and/or re-write.  When I look at the first instalment of BtB and the final instalment of UtS (and I guess HHU too), the huge growth in my writing style makes me want to scrap the first instalment and rewrite it all over again (OtC too).  

It’s only natural. 

I can’t speak for all creatives, but I’d think that as you develop, you sometimes look back on earlier pieces and think -- oh dear lord, no, please hide it from the light of day.  

I had no idea at the time the story was going to grow so exponentially or that the reviewers would push me to up my game constantly.  Initially, I was playing it safe, writing very much with the canon-character humour and dialogue during a lot of the first instalment before I really grew into the confidence to take the characters in a different direction and darken and mature the humour to fit the way I naturally write it, whilst hopefully staying true to the characters.  But yes, there’s a lot I’d have changed. God, I’d definitely want to re-write Hinata...ugh, poor Hinata. Naruto too.

 [...] is there any particular criticism that affects you more?

Hmmn, affects me negatively or positively, luv? 

Someone pointed out the “wise man” trope to me in BtB (the first instalment), which made me concede and consider the use of the monk.  A very valid critique.  Sometimes tropes are inevitable, or indeed, deliberate, but that made me really re-consider how I’d have written or re-written that part of the first instalment.  I appreciate constructive pointers like that.  There was another comment about the overuse or belabouring of a metaphor here and there -- again, totally valid.  My writing runs the risk of “purple-proseing” sometimes, so I’ve grown to watch out for that.

Some critique is of course very subjective and about more about personal tastes and preferences -- you’re never ever going to please everyone. I had people writing to me asking why Neji wasn’t the typical “uke”...which had me doing a “face-to-the-palm-to-the-WALL” -- not because I was offended by the person asking or even by the question, but more because I hate to limit or define characters by pigeon-holing them into a set sexual preference dynamic. Don’t get me wrong, I totally appreciate that this dynamic exists and is very much concrete for some pairings -- but chances are, you won’t be finding it in my works where both males are very much in their male energy, which is why I tend to use the term “slash” rather than “yaoi”.  Yaoi comes with its own tropes and expectations and I think some readers were disappointed not to find the standard dynamic as black-and-white as they’d hoped. Sorry my lovelies! Wrong show. But thank you for taking the time to find out.  Different strokes for different folks and all that.

But yes, I see a wealth that I’d change in the earlier BtB instalments; but that comes from time, experience, confidence, feedback and practice. It would be weird as hell if I didn’t look back and cringe or critique my works -- I’m extremely harsh with myself that way. But the cringe-factor (healthy cringe-factor, not the unhealthy perfectionist self-critic -- which I also possess) shows growth and I’m very honoured and deeply humbled that I was granted a kind, warm, supportive and hugely encouraging audience to help me develop my writing, test my style and find my voice.