#writer.answers

[nctsjiho]

i havent ur blogs in so long that i came back to find out JIHO IS DEAD???????????????????????????????? WHAT DID I MISS OUT ON ? ??????????? PLS IM SOBBING I NEVER GOT ATTACHED TO A CHARACTER THIS MUCH WUAHKAHTGIUAEHUIAJE

🥺 yeah I can imagine coming back after a while to see that post isn't pleasant 😅

tbf tho (i think I've dodged this question in a few ways but) I never flat out said she was dead 😬 if that offers you any consolation... You can interpret that post/ending any way you want 😶

[nctsjiho]

i just read multifandom's sneak peak post and was reminded of jiho. she mentioned jonghyun and i realised that jiho's dead was on the same day as jonghyun's! was therea reason for choosing thar date specifically? or just coincidence?

While I was writing that post I did realise midway that, yes, this is happening on the same date that Jonghyun passed, but it wasn't my intention. The 18th of December is JiHo's birthday. I wanted something the happen on her birthday and with the way I was building up the plot, that's just how that happened.

The 18th as a date is just significant to me (tho not necessarily important) in general. In music, a lot of my biases in groups have birthdays on the 18th as well as my own birthday being on the 18th. That's why I wanted JiHo's birthday to be on the 18th as well.

The whole event happening on her birthday was just a stylistic(?) choice, that has nothing to do with Jonghyun, but you can attach a poetic though tragic meaning to it if you wish. However, as not to upset Shinee fans, I didn't mean anything harmful or disrespectful towards Jonghyun.

(random comeback on this blog?? idk. I'm open to answering questions publicly again, so if u have any I'm here, I think😅 idk if there's much to discuss, but if anything comes to mind, I'll try to answer ur questions)

[nctsjiho]

are u going to stop writing for jiho?!?

this was asked before the other similar ask got posted on my blog (it's now up, posted simultaneously with this one), but yeah possibly...

for those who are not happy with that answer or are not willing to wait to see what happens (and I totally understand that and am not forcing anyone to wait at all) thank you so much for reading my fics till this point 🤍 thank u for making this blog a fun experience for me as well 🤍💚🤍

[nctsjiho]

Hi, bestie! I hope you are doing well 🥰 but did Jiho herself dislike any of the members (such as during SMROOKIES and when SME formed the group), and who would they be and why?

Hi love <3 first of all I want to apologise for taking so long to answer this question. At first I read it wrong and thought this was about the new SMRookies, which is why I wanted to wait until answering it, but now I realised I was wrong sfkljsdf I'll answer it now tho!

JiHo generally didn't dislike any members because if people aren't worth her time she wouldn't worry bothering about them. However, there were a few iffy situations/relationships between her and some members.

Ten: I've written a whole fic about this before, but yeah those two didn't get along well at the start. They had a little misunderstanding where they both thought the other didn't like them, but luckily they got to clear it up quickly.

Haechan: Honestly didn't dislike Haechan at all, but she could feel how awkward he was when she was around. She probably had the hardest time getting close to him, but she never pushed it (or him) and let their relationship grown naturally. She always wondered why he was so awkward around her though, which caused her to take a bit more distance from him than she would from the others.

Winwin: Like with Haechan she could feel Winwin's feelings towards her. She knew he didn't like her, but never really let it affect her. At first she held a bit of resentment at the fact that he disliked her for seemingly no reason, but never disliked Winwin as a person. He must have his reasons is what JiHo always thought.

Renjun & Yangyang: Oddly enough they are on the list haha. Even more odd if you know that they are like actual brothers to her. They annoy her and tease her and get into fights with her... At first she just thought Renjun and Yangyang's personalities were too strong and too much respectively. She thought Renjun was too cold and headstrong while Yangyang was insanely energetic and too much like the annoying little brother type around the WayV members. It's weird because later on JiHo realised it wasn't "too much" and she actually started liking those traits about them. She just clashed with them at first and didn't realise all their personalities were very complementary (and even similar). She never made her "dislike" (if you want to call it that) visible and actually got used to them pretty quickly.

[nctsjiho]

please write a part 2 for trust me one more time if you have time~

p.s. i am a huge fan of all your stories 🫶🏻

hii <3

Is this something people genuinely want? I know some ppl commented on the cliffhanger/open ending so I'm wondering🤔 tbh I really really wasn't planning on doing a part 2 and I know you guys can't see into my mind, but "part 1" is pretty much really where it stops in my head. However if there's a lot of people that want a part 2, I might be able to do a little spin of chapter or something in that sense. I'm not sure tho.

Anyone who's interested, feel free to let me know your thoughts

p.s. thank you so much <3 I'm happy you enjoy my stories ��

[nctsjiho]

This is going back to the ask u got about the new font or how others can't read ur posts bc of the color👀👀 i use the dark mode for Tumblr so this is how I saw some of ur posts. I hope this helps!😌

little question, is this a reblog or the original? Normally the problem should be solved already😭 If it's a reblog I can't do anything about it. Reading the original or clicking on read more should fix it, but I notice in this pic that the post is already past where I put the 'read more' button, so now i'm confused TT

[nctsjiho]

read your latest writing on jiho and i think i heard my heart cracked.

😢 im sorry <3

[nctsjiho]

wdym end of an era??? there wont be any update from jiho anymore??? :(

possibly🤐 ig that's something you and I both have to wait for and see...

[nctsjiho]

wait so does that mean u wont write anymore

I'm not planning to ever stop writing because it's something I genuinely enjoy and want to get better at

might not be what ur asking tho...

[nctsjiho]

my poor baby's been through so much !

😢

[nctsjiho]

happy birthday jiho please wake up soon and be with us again🥺🤍

🤍💚🤍

[nctsjiho]

jiho 😞

😞

im slowly getting through all asks, they'll get answered eventually

[nctsjiho]

hello i really love your writing, i was wondering if jiho is d34d? its really sad if its true

thank you so much for having enjoyed my writing

this is the end of an era for sure

[nctsjiho]

“She isn’t out there anymore.” wdym did she die?!?!

👀 idk, did she?

Okay and now a bit more serious. I left the ending open to interpretation so readers can make up their own minds/story on what happened. I know ppl might not love that, but I think if I gave concrete endings/answers more ppl would be upset than if I left it up for interpretation. I might revisit this AU because I've gotten more invested in it than I expected, but for now you'll have to make up your own theories <3

[nctsjiho]

Hii, I just wanted to ask if you’ve bene trying a new font color for your recent posts? because the font has been darker making the posts kind of hard to read

EDIT: I think I've found the problem. I write my posts in google docs and paste it in Tumblr. Idk if it's a setting in my docs or something weird that happens in Tumblr but it changes the colour of the font in Tumblr. I've fixed it in my last post and will try to fix it for the others. If you find one I missed or the problem persists, let me know <3

No I haven't, but someone over Discord mentioned this to me before. I thought it was just a problem to one or two ppl, but apparently more ppl have this problem.

If you guys have this problem please if you can submit a screenshot of it to me (I'll make sure I have submissions open), because I'm not sure what it looks like for you guys (I use desktop + light mode/black letters on a light background) and I'll try to contact support.

I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. It sounds like you're experiencing this only on my blog so the fault is most likely on my end. I'll try to get it fixed ASAP

[nctsjiho]

Trust Me One More Time

genre: angst, parent!au pairing: Haechan x oc, Haechan x female!oc, idol!Haechan, ex-idol!oc cw: (bad) parenting; arguing; talks about "giving up"; this is a really heavy fic (imo) with a heavy but hard to explain plot without spoiling it all, if u read this fic, feel free to stop whenever you feel uncomfortable

This is NOT part of the same NCT addition!JiHo AU. Think of this as an alternate version of that universe or part of the imagine series I have done so far under 'writer.answers'. If you are stumbling upon my blog for the first time, this is a standalone fic u can read pretty much without knowing anything about my oc.

❀ Being new parents isn't easy. Still being able to care for his child while being an idol, Haechan can't seem to understand the mother of his child's struggles.

“Don’t cry, baby,” the new father cooed as he walked towards the cot, having just returned from work. He leaned over the bed to find his son’s restless body. Despite not being able to move much, the little baby had mustered all his strength to reach his tiny arms out once he saw his father. “What’s gotten you so upset?” Haechan asked with a pout as he brought the baby up in his arms. “Let’s get you something to eat.”

Haechan ignored the figure on the couch as he decided to retrieve a bottle of milk for his child first. When he returned to the living room he sat down on the couch, still skillfully handling the baby in his arms and started to give him his milk. “There you go,” he whispered softly before turning to the mother of his child.

“Why didn’t you feed him?”

An exhausted, emotion-filled sob left Jiho’s lips. “I tried, but he wouldn’t eat,” she told him while she still didn’t make eye contact with him.

“How long ago was that?”

“I don’t remember.”

Silence filled the rather dark room, only lit up with a small yellow-toned table lamp. It wasn’t a comforting silence. The tension between the two adults was only thickening, so much so that it seemed like Dongmin—their child—felt it as well. The 4 month year old had stopped drinking for a significant amount of time, causing Haechan to look back down at him which seemed to comfort him as he started to drink again. “So what? Were you planning to let him starve? He’s eating just fine now.”

“It wasn’t that long ago,” Jiho whispered again.

“Maybe he’s scared because you’re acting like that.”

That's where the conversation ended for the moment. Haechan finished feeding the baby and moved him to the nursery where another cot was. He waited for Dongmin to fall asleep before returning to the living room, where Jiho still sat.

“This is exactly what I mean,” he sighed and blatantly motioned over her form. “You��re sitting there like you’re straight out of a horror movie. With your hair in your face, wearing the same clothes that you’ve been wearing for a week now. Jiho!” he suddenly yelled her name, getting her to look at him. “Get a hold of yourself.”

Haechan was almost begging her at this point, he was getting tired as well.

“I tried—”

“Try harder! This isn’t just any child, this is our child.” By now, Haechan had kneeled down in front of her. “You’ve always been amazing with children. What’s different now?”

“He’s… our child.”

Haechan shook his head as if he was in disbelief and moved even closer to Jiho. He pulled her legs down off the couch away from her chest and wrapped his arms loosely around her waist. “All the more reason for you to love him. You love him don’t you?”

“He doesn’t like me.”

“It’s only been 4 months, Jiho,” he told her as his hand softly caressed her lower back. It had become a habit since during the last months of her pregnancy she always complained about her lower back and he always gave her massages for it. “You just need to spend more time with him—”

“I’m always here! Haechan, I’m the one who gave up on being an idol for this. I’ve been with him ever since—”

“You never call Dongmin by his name.”

Jiho pushed Haechan away and threw her head back in annoyance. Once she sat back straight, causing Haechan to see her face again, he could see that angry tears were running down her cheeks. “Your son hates me.”

“He’s our—”

“HE’S NOT MY CHILD!”

Those words took Haechan by surprise. In his shocked state he couldn’t even notice Dongmin starting to cry in his nursery—probably having heard the commotion from his parents. “How could you say that?”

“I had to give up everything! I stayed with him ever since he was born and did everything for him because you said we could do this. You said we would be great parents. I— I’m not a good mother, Haechan,” she confessed.

“I can’t get him to eat anymore. He won’t take bottles from me, he doesn’t even like me holding him. He cries the whole day if you aren’t here. How can I be a good mother if he doesn’t even like me?”

At this point Jiho had crashed onto her knees on the floor and started sobbing. The Jiho that was crying in front of him wasn’t the Jiho Haechan used to know. She wasn’t the girl—now woman—that he once fell in love with.

“Then try harder.”

Hearing those words, Jiho looked up at him in disbelief. Haechan was hovering over her with a hard to read expression on his face.

“What?” Her voice sounded a lot smaller than she expected it to sound.

“I’m not here to work the whole day, to provide for our son only for you to sit here and cry because you’re having a hard time feeding him. Maybe if you breastfeed him like the doctor told you to, Dongmin would trust you more.”

Confusion washed over Jiho as she didn’t expect Haechan to suddenly turn on her and sound so condescending. “What are you talking about? You knew I never wanted to breastfeed even before he was born. You knew this.”

“I want to help you Jiho, I really do. I know that we should’ve been more careful, that you put your trust in me and it’s my fault that we have a child now, but Dongmin is beautiful. He was an accident, but he’s the happiest little accident that I cannot get myself to regret. I know I broke your trust before, but ever since we found out you were pregnant I’ve never left your side. Can you please trust me again? We can do this together, okay? Isn’t that enough?”

Haechan had pulled Jiho closer to him, holding her by her forearms as he asked for her trust once again. However, Jiho started to shake her head.

“It’s not enough, Haechan. I’ve been scared ever since I found out I was pregnant. I’m still scared and you haven’t acknowledged it until now. Hell, I still don’t know if you realise it. The only reason I haven’t— the only reason I went through with it all is because it’s made you happy.”

“I—” Haechan stopped himself from speaking, feeling frustration rise in his body once again. “Let’s talk about this during dinner, okay? You order whatever you like. I’ll go check on Dongmin, we woke him up again.”

Jiho didn’t respond, but Haechan didn’t wait for a response anyway. He had already turned to go to the nursery, where he found his little boy crying once more. The baby was a bit fussy, but instantly calmed down once his father picked him up and swayed him around for a bit. “Your momma is a good person. She’s just really scared and appa hasn’t been very patient or considerate of her. Don’t tell her I said this, but I still love her very much.” Haechan chuckled a bit at how pathetic he sounded, but quickly shrugged it off. He placed a soft kiss on his son’s forehead before placing him back down in his cot. Dongmin fell asleep instantly.

Haechan took a little moment to regain himself before walking back into the living room. “Jiho,” he called out for her, but there was no response. “Jiho?” When she still didn’t answer and he couldn’t see her when peering through the door to the kitchen, Haechan decided to look through the whole house.

He checked Jiho’s room first. Haechan had never stood still by the fact that her room was pretty much empty since the first day they moved into the house. It had none of her personality and although Jiho was more of a minimalist, Haechan remembered how her dorm rooms from the time she was still an idol were filled with little trinkets. She used to always hold onto meaningful—and even meaningless—gifts from the members and fans. This room only held a bed, a dresser, a bookshelf and a chair she would read those books in.

Moving on—not forgetting to knock on the bathroom door and checking if it was empty—Haechan walked through all the rooms in the house until he reached his own bedroom. His room was right next to Dongmin’s nursery, only separated by an ensuite bathroom.

“Jiho?” He pushed the door open hoping though not expecting Jiho to be inside. As he predicted, there was no one in his room. He looked around and noticed the two pictures on his dresser. One of them was of him and Jiho while they were still coworkers. They were younger, though not by much and they seemed incredibly happy. The second picture was of them a few weeks after Dongmin was born. Haechan was the one holding Dongmin while Jiho sat next to him. She looked visibly tired in the picture, something that Haechan hadn’t noticed before. He also realised that in every picture that they have together, Haechan was always the one holding Dongmin. The only exception being the picture of when the doctor handed Jiho Dongmin when he was just born.

Returning to the living room, Haechan had dialled Jiho’s number, hoping she would pick up and explain she was just picking up some food at their favourite Thai place down the street. Something stopped him dead in his tracks though, when Haechan noticed something missing. It took him a second to clock what he had seen—or had not seen—before he set out in a panic.

The sweater he was wearing the whole day and had dropped on one of the chairs in the living room when he returned from work was missing. He walked towards the front door and Jiho’s shoes—the ones that she could slip onto easily whenever they decided to go on a quick walk—were gone. “Ji…”

With a deep, shaky exhale, Haechan slipped on his own shoes and ran towards the neighbours door. At the urgent knocks on the door a woman in her mid to late 30’s opened the door and asked what was wrong. “Mrs. Choi, please look over Dongmin for a while. He’s sleeping in his cot in the nursery.”

Mrs. Choi nodded quickly. “What’s wrong? Where is Jiho? Is everything okay?” she fired the questions as soon as she noticed something must’ve been horribly wrong.

“I don’t know, I— I’ll be back,” Haechan yelled out in a hurried stuttering mess before running down the stairs towards the street.

He started taking off to that favourite Thai place over there, only to be confronted by the sign he forgot about. Closed permanently in big black letters letters on the door. “God damnit,” Haechan cursed, turning around and starting to run the other way, not knowing where to go.

“Haechan?” A familiar voice stopped him.

With a relieved sigh, Haechan ran up to the old owner of the Thai restaurant. “Sir, have you seen Jiho?”

“Your wife?” Not having the time to correct the older man, Haechan nodded. “I’m sorry, Haechan. I haven’t seen her. Why? What’s—”

“I’m sorry! I have to go!” Haechan yelled as he hurried further down the street continuously trying to reach JiHo’s phone that she wouldn’t pick up.

Sweat was beating down his face and if he wasn’t so preoccupied with other thoughts, he would’ve thought he was close to having a heart attack with how hard his heart was beating. “Jiho!”

When he finally reached the park he frequented with Jiho and Dongmin, he stopped to catch his breath again. He took a few moments, his hands were shaking violently.

“Jiho… I— You’re an amazing mother. If there’s one thing I want you to know, then it would be that you are the bravest woman I know. You trusted me despite me giving you the life you hated. Yet you still stuck with it. You still try to take care of Dongmin despite having a hard time. If you were a bad mother— You would’ve given up by now, but you didn’t.

“I don’t deserve you, Jiho. But— Dongmin needs you. He needs a mother like you. Please… Jiho please don’t give up. I love you—”

Beep beep beep~

---

READ PART 2 HERE

S/N: idk what tag to post this under so for now I'll use jiho.writings and post it on the main writing masterlist under it's own thingy. Might be subject to change, so if u don't find it under that masterlist it will be on my main pinned masterlist.

masterlists: main masterlist || jiho.writings masterlist