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tngrace · 2 years ago

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@bayisdying I'd hug you so tight now if I could. I love you so much woman! Thank you for the compliment you sweet thing but you're a fantastic writer yourself 😘 I'm so glad you enjoyed it 💙

Hold My Hand

AU in my AU world. Grace and Bradley have been struggling with infertility and they finally break down to Dad!Mav & Pops!Ice.

After almost two months, this is finally complete. It kinda ran away from me, and got really long, but I hope you enjoy. I've interspersed some lyrics from the song the title comes from, so those will be in red throughout. It's my 1st (? 2nd maybe?) time doing that, so hopefully it's not too awkward.

🏷: @dragon-kazansky @mrsjaderogers @bayisdying @cycbaby @askmarinaandothers @breadsquash @semperhuggs @ladylanera @callmemana @starlit-epiphany

Two years... It'd been two years and Grace felt like such a failure.

Grace met Bradley at the Hard Deck, ten years ago when she was barely twenty. They'd dated for six years before they got married, and they'd been married for four years. Two years ago, they felt settled and were ready to expand their family. Bradley was teaching at Top Gun, and Grace was running the kitchen at the Hard Deck, having entered a partnership with Penny.

But things weren't exactly going as they hoped. Grace had been afraid of this ever since she'd learned at eighteen that she had PCOS. And while she'd shared her worries with Bradley when they started trying, she still felt like a huge failure. It even affected their sex at times, Grace getting too lost in her head. They'd kept it quiet from everybody that they were trying because Grace didn't want the added pressure of others constantly asking, and she didn't want anyone else to be as disappointed as they were each month.

At her last doctor's appointment, they recommended that they start fertility testing and meds. While Grace agreed that it was the next logical step, she also was worried. While they made decent money, they still had bills to pay, and she didn't want for them to go into debt over this. So she was worried, and everyone was starting to notice. She kept to herself a lot at the Hard Deck, hiding out in the kitchen instead of working the bar or socializing in the down times. She knew the minute they agreed to the testing, they would have to start telling others. She knew keeping the secret, especially from Ice and Mav, had been really hard on Bradley, but he'd done it for her.

I heard from the heavens that clouds have been grey

Ice and Mav had noticed the kids were acting different at every family dinner for the last two months, but they were doing their best to act like everything was fine. After the second month of awkwardness, they decided to tackle it, especially after Penny confirmed Grace had been acting different at work too. Grace was the best thing to ever happen to Bradley and their family, and they wanted to help fix whatever needed fixing. So they made a plan; Mav would talk to B and Ice would see if Grace would talk to him.

Getting Bradley to talk was harder than Mav expected though. When asked if everything was ok, Bradley assured him it was. But the kid still couldn't lie and Mav saw right through it.

I see that you're hurtin',

"Ice we have to do something," Mav whined after several failed attempts at getting Bradley to talk to him at work or at the Hard Deck.

Ice gently squeezed the back of Mav's neck, massaging some. "What about a day at the hanger. You know B likes being out there, and Grace could probably use the quiet."

Mav already has his phone out texting Bradley to see when Grace was off next and if they could go. The plan was set for Saturday; they'd meet Ice and Mav at the hanger around nine in the morning. They were hopeful time away from everything would help the kids open up to them a little more. Especially since it was rare for them to keep anything from them like this.

After getting Mav's text, Grace curled into Bradley's side. "You know we have to tell them," she whispers. Her fingers are drawing idle circles on his chest, as his fingers stroke up and down her back.

"Yea. I think...." he sighs a little. "I think they're on to us. Mav's been asking me all week if everything is ok."

why'd you take so long To tell me you need me?

Grace lets her fingers keep dancing over his chest. "Mmmmm yea. We probably haven't been the most subtle lately."

"Grace..."

"No I know. I've been off. It's been... It's been a lot, with a lot of decisions to make. Fuck B I've had you keeping secrets from them for two years. I'm surprised they haven't caught on before now."

He tips her chin up so she can meet his eyes. "You haven't had me doing anything. I agreed."

She bites her lip softly as she nods. He softly kisses her forehead, holding her tight. "It's going to be ok babe. It'll be ok."

Raise your head, look into my wishful eyes

They pull up to the hanger, the door wide open. Bradley is not surprised in the least that his dads are already there. They probably spent the night before there if the truth was known. He laces his hand with Grace's as they get out of the bronco. He knows she's worried about today, but he knows Mav and Ice will be the most supportive parents ever.

"Morning," he calls out.

"Hey kiddos," Mav smiles pulling them both into his arms.

"Hey dad," Bradley smiles, before Grace sinks into the hug. She clings a little tighter and Mav just lets her as Ice hugs Bradley. She sinks into Ice's hug next; both Ice and Mav give the best hugs. It takes all she has not to start crying.

"Dad made breakfast," Ice says as Grace slowly pulls back.

"Well let's eat," Bradley smiles. He wraps his arm over Grace's shoulder as he leads her towards the makeshift table in the hanger. Conversation flows easily as they eat and then Mav asks if Bradley wants to go up. He turns to Grace who is nodding without him even having to ask. She knows Bradley loves being in the air with Mav and she is perfectly fine being on the ground with Ice. They clean up breakfast and Mav and Bradley are in the air within the hour.

Grace waves as they take off, before she turns to Ice to see what he would like to do. He pats the couch and Grace lets out a breath before joining him. "You two are tag teaming us aren't you?"

Ice snorts as he pulls her into side. "And this is why you've always been my favorite Gracie." She chuckles as she lets him give her a side hug. "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. We just wanna help. We can tell things have been off, and we're just worried about you two."

She rests her head on his shoulder as she gathers her thoughts. Ice and Mav have always been great to her, like dads she never had. She knows how lucky Bradley was to have them. She pulls her legs up to her chest, resting her chin on her knees. "We've been keeping secrets. I... I asked B to keep secrets. But... we have to be honest now. We..." She takes a shuddering breath as Ice lays a hand on her back.

"Grace you don't have to say anything you don't want."

"Its not that we don't want. B would've told you from the beginning but, I asked him not to. I didn't...." She feels tears gather and knows she's not going to be able to stop them. "I didn't want to disappoint you two as well."

"Grace, honey, you could never." Ice pulled her into his arms as the tears silently roll down her cheeks. "Oh honey."

She tried to pull herself together as Ice just holds her tight. "We've.... we've been trying to make yall grandparents," she whispers.

So cry tonight But don't you let go of my hand You can cry every last tear I won't leave 'til I understand

Ice's arms tighten around her. Before he can say anything she just pushes on wanting to get this all out now that she's started. "We've been trying for two years with no success. Bc of my PCOS they wanna do some tests and then put me on meds but it's not guaranteed. They've already told us we should consider fertility doctors. I just.... I've let it all get to me lately and I know I've been off. I just..." she shrugs. "I just feel like such a failure. I'd do anything to make B a dad because I know he'll be an amazing one but I can't."

Ice gently turns her face towards him. "Grace I want you to hear me when I say this ok? You are not a failure. You're not. Things aren't happening like you want right now but that does not make you a failure."

She can't stop the tears as Ice pulls her back into his arms. "He gets so excited each time and then I just have to crush it," she sobs. "He tries to hide how hurt he is, but I still see it. I still feel it."

Ice just holds her tight letting her get it all out as he thinks of how to word what he wants to say so she hears him.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I think I've given up hope. The meds might work, they might not. And then what? How long do we keep going, keep being disappointed. And everything after this will be so expensive. How do I know when it's enough and I just have to crush his dreams all together? I can't do it.... I dunno that I can keep doing it. I can't keep hurting him and destroying his dream."

"Grace honey..... it's your dream too."

"I don't even think about me anymore," she whispers into his chest. It's so quiet he almost doesn't hear it.

"Grace..."

"I don't," she chokes on a sob. "I never think about me. I knew it could be like this, I tried to prepare him, but I don't think I did a good job. And it's a constant let down. God he should've found someone better... prettier... someone who can make all his dreams come true."

"Honey, I've known Bradley a very, very long time. You are the best thing that has ever happened to that kid. He's been looking for you his entire life, and when he found you? His whole life made sense. Even if you never give him a child he would never ever blame you for it. You're all he needs. You're everything to him." He hugs her tight to him, rubbing her back, his heart breaking for the girl that has been like his daughter for ten years now.

"You completed our family Gracie girl. You're not just the best thing to happen to that boy, but to us too. We weren't sure we would ever have a family beyond just us two, but then we got Bradley. And while we hate how that happened, we loved that boy like our own. And now you, the daughter we never had, but love very much. Making a family comes in all shapes and sizes. We all would be lost without you, so never think for a second you belong anywhere else. Would we love a grandchild? Of course. But if it never happens, we have you two."

He holds her tight as she cries into his chest, and he prays his words are absorbed. "You know we will help anyway we can. You don't even have to ask."

"I dunno that I could ever ask that. It'd be..."

He tips her chin up to look into his determined gaze. "You're not asking. I'm offering. We'd do anything for you two. You're all we've got; we might as well spoil the hell out of you two."

Grace gives him a small smile. "Mav might not like you spending all his airplane money."

Ice laughs out loud at that. "Oh honey. Mav would give all that up to see you two happy and living your dream."

Grace hugs him tight. "Thank you Pops," she whispers quietly.

"Anytime Gracie girl. Anytime."

But if you decide to, I'll ride in this life with you I won't let go 'til the end

Mav had let Bradley fly around for about 10 minutes before he decided to press. "B..." he starts but Bradley cuts him off.

"You don't have to ask again Dad. I'm done lying," he sighs. He levels the plane out and thinks of his words. "I'm surprised you haven't pressed before now. But.... I am sorry for lying to you."

"It's ok Bradley. We're worried about you both and just wanna help. Penny said Grace stays in the kitchen a lot and has been really quiet."

"Yea...." Bradley sighs as he brushes the hair off his forehead and back behind the headset band. "Things have gotten to be a lot lately. We uh..... we've..." he trails off finding it hard to admit the truth. It's been their secret for so long, he doesn't know what to say. Plus he's just as worried about Grace as they are. He wishes he could make things easier for her, help in some way, but she's been shutting down a lot, even on him.

"It's ok kiddo. You don't have to say anything you don't want to. And if it's easier we can always land again."

"Yea... I might... you know I love being in the air but it might be better not having your life in my hands for this. I dunno how steady I'll be."

Mav chuckles at that. "You know that's never worried me Baby Goose. I trust you with my life, but whatever you're comfortable with."

Bradley circles back towards the hanger and slowly sets her down. He stops at the end of the runway and pops the canopy. "Can we just sit out here before we taxi back?" He knows Ice is probably talking to Grace and he hopes Pops is helping so he doesn't want to interrupt that.

"Yea of course." Mav climbs out and settles under the wing in the shade, Bradley following him. He pulls Bradley into a tight hug as soon as he can and Bradley just sinks into it. "It's going to be ok. Whatever it is, it'll be ok."

Bradley clings to his dad before he chokes out "I don't know anymore dad.. I just don't know." Mav runs his fingers through Bradley's hair until his kid pulls back some. "Maybe we should go to the firepit to be more comfortable? This might take a while."

"Whatever you want B," Mav smiles. Mav ends up taxiing the plane to the hangar. He waves at Ice and Grace before heading around back to the firepit near the house. Bradley is already settled in one of the chairs staring off into space.

"They looked fine. More importantly Grace looked fine. You know Pops will take care of her." He could tell she'd be crying, but he left that out.

Bradley smiles up at him. "Yea I know. He's good like that. You're not half bad yourself old man," he teases.

Mav scoffs and rises to the bait like he knows Bradley wants him too. "Who are you calling old kiddo?"

Bradley snorts as Mav gets settled beside him. Mav squeezes his shoulder in encouragement. He decides it'll be better to just rip the bandaid off quickly so he blurts it out in one go. "We've been trying for a baby for two years and I think Grace has about reached her breaking point. We've kept it a secret but now her doctor is recommending testing and meds and it's all just been a lot."

"Oh kid," Mav sighs. He can't not pull Bradley into another hug after that and Bradley just breaks, silent tears streaming down his cheeks. "I gotcha Baby Goose. Let it out," Mav murmurs, his heart breaking for his two kids who have been struggling so long on their own.

"I don't know what to do anymore dad."

Mav runs his fingers through Bradley's hair calming him. "What are they thinking?"

Bradley wipes his eyes and lets out a soft sigh as he sits back in his chair. He runs Mav through her disorder and what testing the doctors are wanting to do. He tells him they wanna put her on meds and if that doesn't work they'll recommend fertility doctors. He doesn't stop there though telling Mav everything; how Grace has been shutting down, how she thinks the doctors are good idea but she's worried they can't afford them nor is she confident they'll work, how she thinks she's disappointing him and will disappoint everybody and that's why they've kept it a secret, how she constantly tells him he deserves someone better that can give him a family.

"I don't want anyone else dad. Grace is my world, my everything. She's amazing and more than I deserve. But she's so down on herself right now, I can't get her to see it. I mean hell the problem might not be all her. We don't know. But two years is so long I'm afraid she's gonna give up. Or maybe she already has. I just.... I dunno what to do anymore."

Mav gently squeezes the back of Bradley's neck, his heart breaking in two as he listens. "Hey. It's going to be ok. This is the first right step ok? You're talking about it, I'm sure Pops got Gracie to talk. You two aren't alone B. Not anymore."

"I get why she wanted to keep it a secret. It's been hard enough on us, much less adding in anyone else's hopes. But I just...."

"It's gotten to be too much and you two need help. It's ok to admit that B."

Bradley gives him a small smile. "Pops has rubbed off on you a lot."

Mav scoffs a laugh but concedes. "You're right he has."

"'S not a bad thing," Bradley grins.

Mav chuckles as he ruffles Bradley's hair. "We just have to be there for her. Remind her how much we love her no matter what. She knows you're not going anywhere, Baby Goose. She knows that. But sometimes..... when you get lost in your head, it's hard to know that in the moment. Constant reminders help. And you know you can come to us for anything. We'll help anyway you want or need. You don't even have to ask."

"I know.... We just hate asking for money or anything like that. It's not..."

Mav gently cups his jaw. "Stop. I know it's not easy to do, you're too much like me," he smiles ruefully. "But we are offering. Whatever you two need. We'd do it for you."

"Thanks dad," Bradley whispers hugging Mav tight. "Can we..."

"Come on," Mav chuckles, knowing exactly what Bradley was asking for before he even finished the question.

They head back into the hanger just as Ice and Grace were pulling apart from their own hug. "Everything...." Grace didn't even let Bradley finish. She was up and in his arms before he could blink. She clung to him tight as Bradley just held her. Mav sat down by Ice on the couch just watching them.

"I love you," she whispers into his neck.

"I love you too baby."

She hugs him for the longest before pulling back and wiping her eyes. She gives him a soft smile and a quick kiss before they rejoin his parents. They spend the rest of the afternoon talking, relaxing, just enjoying the company. Ice and Bradley grill burgers for supper while Grace and Mav sit around the firepit talking.

Its a much needed night for them, and they end up staying the night with the promise of breakfast in the morning. Once the kids are asleep, Ice and Mav quietly check on them and find them sound asleep curled around each other. "Ice," Mav whispers as Ice pulls him away and to their room.

"I know love. I know."

"What do we do?"

"We be there for them and help them anyway we can. They came to us so that's the first step." Ice gently cradles his face. "I know you wanna fix it as bad as I do, but we have to wait on them. Whatever they ask for, we'll do. But we can't force them. Grace needs all the extra love right now possible. But I suspect Baby Goose does too."

"Yea. They're both in need of a little extra TLC."

"Good thing that's your specialty," Ice teases.

Promise me, just hold my hand

Two weeks later, Bradley lets Mav and Ice know that Grace is going to have the first test done. They want to make sure her tubes are open. Ice makes sure to get Bradley the day off, especially when Bradley lets on how apprehensive Grace is about it. Mav already makes plans to take care of dinner for them that night and Bradley just hugs them both tight.

The procedure isn't as bad as Grace expected, but she's still thankful to have Bradley home that day. While she's not in any pain, she doesn't feel the best after, so she's more than glad to accept all the cuddles he wants to give.

The doorbell rings about five and Bradley untangles from Grace. "That's probably dad," he murmurs softly. She wasn't asleep but she'd dozed some.

"K," she yawns. She throws on one of Bradley's hoodies and follows him to the door.

"Oh you didn't have to get up," Mav tells her after setting the casserole on the counter.

"It's fine. I probably needed to move." She gives him a smile as he pulls her into his arms.

"You ok sweetheart?"

She nods against his shoulder before slowly pulling back. "Yea it wasn't as bad as I thought. Not really cramping like they said I would, just feel off."

Mav brushes a curl behind her ear before Ice pulls her into his arms for a hug. "Well that's good. I'm sure B has been very attentive?"

Grace giggles as Ice cocks his eyebrow at Bradley, who's getting down plates and cups for drinks.

"Who do you take me for Pops? You taught me better than that."

"Gracie?"

Grace full on laughs at that, settling into the seat when all three shoo her away from helping. "He's been amazing Pops I promise."

"Good. That's what we want to hear."

Mav dishes up dinner while Bradley gets them all drinks. Before they can ask she offers up, "We've already gotten the results and everything is good. Tubes are open so...." She pushes some of the food around, before giving them a shaky smile. "The doctor's going to call in meds to start next cycle and they've already sent a referral for B to get tested too."

Bradley's hand squeezes her thigh; he's so proud of her being able to get that all out.

"Sounds promising right?" Mav can't help but ask as he gives her shoulder a squeeze.

She wipes at her eyes before giving him a smile. "Yea... yea you're right."

Bradley and Ice change the subject after that, and dinner goes well. Mav and Ice insist on cleaning up despite the kids' protests. Once everything is clean and the leftovers packed into their fridge, Mav and Ice hug them both tight, making them promise to call if they need anything.

It's another few weeks before she can start the meds, having to wait until the third day of her cycle. And it's two weeks after that, that Bradley goes for his test. Deep down Grace knew it would come back just fine, so she's not the least bit surprised when it does.

She's not thrilled about having blood work done on the third week, but she understands it's necessary. The first round of meds, help with ovulation, but it doesn't bring the results they were hoping for.

Round two sees her having blood work and a mid-cycle ultrasound to see how the meds are affecting her ovaries. Bradley isn't able to go with her, but once more, it doesn't turn out as bad as she was expecting. She's learned she's real good at making scenarios worse in her head.

What does surprise her is when both her fathers-in-law show up at the house before her shift after that appointment, although she really shouldn't be. Mav and Ice have been the best during this time, literally offering to do anything they need. They take her out to lunch, and she promises them she's fine. They talk a little bit about her appointment, but they don't linger on it long. Their main goal was just to offer her a little extra TLC and get her mind off things.

Cycle three hurt the worst because Grace was almost positive things had worked. The day she got her period though, found her curled on the couch in one of Bradley's hoodies as she just cried her heart out. She'd been so sure this time; she knows she should've known better than to hope, but she couldn't help it.

She sent B a sad/crying gif on his lunch break when he asked how she was and he instantly knew. He just wanted to go home to her, but he knew he couldn't. So he did the next best thing he could think of. Mav was on base with him, helping with some training so he called Ice and asked him to go over. Then he text Grace; Pops is coming over. I know you probably want to be alone but I'd feel better if someone was with you since I can't be.

B he doesn't have to. I'll be fine.

Please.

She gives in at that, knowing Bradley is probably worrying about her and she'd rather he not be worried about her while at work. It's only fifteen minutes after Bradley's text does she hear the door open.

"Gracie?" Ice calls out softly.

"In here." It comes out as more of a croak, and she winces at how rough it sounds. She sits up, wiping her eyes, and before she can fix her hair, Ice is sitting down beside her on their big sectional couch.

"I'm sorry I loo..."

"Oh Gracie." Ice pulls her right into his arms and just holds her tight. "You know I don't care one bit about that."

She sniffs as she clings to him and as Ice rubs her back she feels herself start to cry once more. His arms tighten around her as he tries to comfort her. "Oh sweetheart. It's ok. Just get it all out," he murmurs softly. He's so glad Bradley called because he shudders to think of her here alone like this.

"I thought this time it'd worked," she sobs as she clings to him. "I knew better," she hiccups.

"Oh Gracie. It's ok to hope, honey. I know it just makes it hurt worse, but it's ok to let yourself hope and believe it's going to work."

She just clings to him as she sobs into his chest and Ice just holds her tight. It doesn't take much longer before she's exhausted herself. "Just rest sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere."

She falls asleep against him and Ice just holds her until she's deep asleep. He lays her down on the couch, laying a quilt over her. He sends Bradley a text letting him know Grace is asleep and he's got her.

He cleans up the kitchen and checks the pantry and fridge for lunch and dinner options. He's not that surprised when he doesn't find much, considering how much both of them have worked lately. He sends Mav a text to pick up dinner, whatever Bradley wants and he'll order whatever Grace wants for lunch later. He's halfway into a movie when Grace stirs.

"Hi sweetheart," he murmurs, as she slowly sits up emerging from the blanket cocoon.

"Pops?" Her voice is groggy and her eyes are still swollen, her hair a mess.

"Yea. Still here." He pulls her into his side, letting her rest on his shoulder. "Feeling better?"

"A little. Back still hurts but it will for the first day. Cramping a little too," she shrugs.

"Anything I can do?"

She shakes her head as she stays curled into his side. "Thanks for being here," she whispers after several minutes of quiet.

"No where else I'd rather be. You know Mav and B would be here if they didn't have training today."

"I know." She gives him a small smile before working out what movie he's watching. They finish the movie in silence and then Ice orders take out from the local Mexican restaurant Grace loves. Over lunch he entertains her with stories of Mav and the flyboys, and it does the trick to keep her distracted enough to eat.

Her mood seems to improve marginally throughout the day as they watch TV together and by the time Mav and Bradley come through the door with pizzas, Grace is laughing. Bradley turns towards the bedroom to hide his tears of relief, but Mav still sees them.

He sets the pizzas on the counter then pulls Bradley into the hallway and into a hug. "She's ok Baby Goose. Everything is going to be ok."

Bradley nods against Mav's shoulder before pulling back. He wipes his eyes giving his dad a tired smile. "I'm gonna go change then I'll be out."

Mav squeezes his shoulder before he heads to the living room. "We come bearing pizza," he smiles, being dramatic to hear another laugh from Grace.

"Good were starving," Ice declares, pulling Mav into his lap after he sets the pizzas on the coffee table. "Where's Baby Goose?"

"Changing." Grace can see them having a silent conversation, but before she can say she's going to check on her husband, Ice sits Mav on the couch and is up. Grace shakes her head fondly as she leans into the hug Mav pulls her into.

"My Mr Fix-it," Mav laughs as he holds his daughter tight.

"He's pretty good at it," she murmurs.

"That he is." He tightens his arms around her, dropping a kiss on her forehead. "You ok Gracie girl?"

"I will be. Having Pops here today helped. Was a good call for B to make. Don't know that being alone would've been good. I tend to get lost in my head easily. And I was a mess before Ice got here. I just..." she shrugs, feeling Mav tightening his arms once more. "I just thought this time was it," she whispers.

"It's going to happen. One way or another. You two will be the best parents ever."

"I dunno anymore," she sighs.

I can see everything you're blind to now Your prayers will be answered

Mav pulls back just a little and cradles her face. "I know. Ice knows." He wipes the few tear tracks off her cheeks. "We'll hold onto that hope until you can believe again Grace. We'd do anything to make your dreams come true. We weren't just saying that that day at the hanger. Anything."

"I know." She curls back against his chest. "It's just so hard to ask for help. Hard to know when we have to give up."

"You don't give up until you've tried every possible option."

Grace chuckles softly as she nods against his chest. "We can't afford every possible option Mav."

"Oh sweet girl you can. With us, you can."

I won't let go 'til the end

Ice quietly knocks on the door when he sees Bradley standing in the middle of their room just holding his clothes. He startles a little, turning towards the noise. "Hey Pops. Give me just a minute and imma change and be out."

"May I?" Ice asks instead.

Bradley nods as he swallows deep, knowing Ice won't take a no. He drops his clothes on the bed and before he knows it, he's wrapped in Ice's arms. He sinks into the hug, Ice being tall enough that Bradley can just sink into it.

Ice's arms tighten as he feels Bradley relaxing into him. "It's ok for you to not be ok either Bradley."

"I'm..."

"Uh huh. Nope. Don't you dare say you're fine."

"Yes sir," he murmurs into Ice's shoulder.

Ice holds him tight; "Come on B. It's ok. Let it out."

I'll be right here, hold my hand

"Pops," he hiccups. Ice's hand rubs up into his hair, holding him against him.

"I gotcha. It's ok. Let it out." And Bradley breaks. His sobs are silent, but he shakes in Ice's arms. "It's ok Baby Goose. It's ok." He holds the little boy he helped raise tight in his arms.

Ice just lets him cry, whispering words of comfort over and over until Bradley's body stops shaking and he's just clinging to Ice sniffling. "She's ok B. You're both going to be ok."

"She was sure," he whispers.

"I know. I know kiddo." He places a soft kiss on Bradley's forehead. "You made the right call having me come over."

Bradley nods as they sit on the edge of the bed. His fingers fiddle and Ice just pulls him back into his side. "She's ok now B. I'm not saying things are gonna be easier because they're not. But for tonight everything is ok."

Bradley gives him a small nod.

"It's ok to let her see you break too."

"I can't..." He shakes his head in denial. "No I can't. She needs me to be strong."

Ice gently ruffles his hair with a soft chuckle. "No kiddo. She just needs you." He gives Bradley another squeeze. "Tonight you just let me and dad be the strong ones ok? You just be."

"Pops is right," Grace says quietly from the doorway. Neither had heard her come looking from them. Bradley's head shoots up at her voice and he instantly starts trying to pull himself together.

Ice gives her a smile, squeezes Bradley's shoulder and then gets up leaving them to it. Grace walks closer, walking between Bradley's knees. With him sitting, she's sorta looking down at him. She threads her fingers through his hair and then lets her arms drop to the top of his shoulders. She pulls him close so his head rests against her, her head resting on top of his.

"Should listen to him," she whispers. She places a kiss on top of his head. "You can just be babe. I know you're just as crushed," she whispers.

Bradley's arms tighten around her as he gives a small nod. They stay like that in the quiet of their room just holding each other for the longest. Finally Bradley pulls back a little, reaching up and cupping her face. He softly kisses her, his thumbs rubbing under her swollen eyes. "We'll do an eye mask tonight, make you feel better."

She gives him a soft sweet smile. "Ok. But first we let Dad and Pops take care of us both." She softly rubs his cheeks until he nods, then she hugs him tight once more. They link hands and head back to the living room.

Ice and Mav are on opposite ends of the sectional, leaving plenty of room between them for the kids. The pizza boxes are open, drinks on the coffee table, and Homeward Bound already queued on the TV ready to go. Ice and Grace have watched Sweet Home Alabama earlier in the day, and before she'd gone to the bedroom she suggested that maybe they watch Bradley's comfort movie that night.

Bradley curls into Mav's side while Grace settles beside Ice. Mav softly rubs Bradley's head, placing a soft kiss there. "We gotcha Baby Goose."

"I know dad," he murmurs.

Ice presses play, and they get the kids to eat at least two pieces each. They leave the pizza there during the movie in case they want more. Bradley and Grace naturally drift together during the movie, curling around each other. Ice nor Mav are surprised when Grace drifts off or that Bradley fights to stay awake the whole time.

Once the movie's over, Ice starts cleaning up while Mav gets Bradley up and both of them off to bed. He picks up the living room, before they go tell the kids goodnight. They lock up behind themselves after seeing the kids curled in bed together sound asleep.

"Don't give me that look," Ice sighs as he and Mav walk to their vehicles.

"There has to be something we can do!"

Ice pulls Mav into his arms hugging him tight. "I know love, I know. But we can't. Not until they decide they wanna do more."

"They do though! They're just scared."

"Rightfully so," Ice gently reminds. "Pete we have to remember they've been doing this for two years already. Two years of constant disappointment."

"I know," he sighs, feeling his heart break more. "I just wanna make it better!"

"You did, tonight." Ice kisses his husband softly before they pull apart. "We'll just keep showing up and reminding them we're here. They'll come to us when they're ready."

"I'm not patient and you know it."

"That I do," Ice laughs. "I'll see you at home."

The kids seemed to perk back up a week later, but Ice and Mav were still worried. They were on the last cycle of meds, and everyone was on edge to see what would happen. Grace was the least surprised, when once again, it didn't happen. She was crushed, no doubt, but this time she was prepared.

It took them another two weeks before they came to Ice and Mav though. Bradley brought it up over family dinner, letting them know as forewarned, the doctor would not be calling in anymore meds and recommended they have a consult with the fertility clinic.

"What do you two want to do?" Ice asked gently.

Bradley looked at Grace, whose hands were fiddling in her lap as she bit her lip, not meeting their eyes. Bradley gently squeezes one of her hands and Grace finally looks up.

"We're going to do the consult. See what options they give," she finally said. She gives them both a watery smile. "Someone told me not to give up until we try every option and they'd hold onto the hope for me until I could believe again. I think I wanna trust him on that."

Mav is around the table before anyone can blink, hugging her tight. "That's right sweetheart. I still believe. Ice still believes."

She nods against his shoulder, feeling herself relax a little more. Once Mav is sitting back down across from them she says, "They're supposed to call us by the end of the week with an appointment."

"You just let us know what you need ok?"

"We will Pops," Bradley promises.

Hold my hand, hold my hand

They're appointment isn't for another three months, and during that time Grace puts all their troubles out of her mind. She focuses on herself and on Bradley, on their family and friends and just lets herself be. It's relaxing and feels like just what she needed. Since she's not on any meds, her periods are once again erratic, but she does her best not to let it bother her.

By the time they have their consult, she feels stable once more, and feels like she and Bradley are back in a really good place. The consult takes forever; they go over all the testing they'd had done previously, their medical histories, and the best plan of action going forward. She tries not to stress over the dollar amounts that get thrown at them, but it's really a lot.

By the time they leave, they both feel overwhelmed. "Think maybe we should go see dad and pops," Bradley says once they're in the Bronco.

"Yea... yea maybe."

Bradley squeezes her hand before texting Mav, who tells him to come straight over. Bradley chuckles when he reads the response. "Bet dad's drove pops crazy this morning."

Grace giggles. "Probably. You know he's just worried."

Bradley softly kisses the back of her head before he heads over to their house. He's not surprised in the least when Mav is waiting on the porch, Ice in the doorway. "Ready for a hug attack?" Bradley laughs as they get out.

He's not wrong; Mav instantly pulls her into his arms, stopping Bradley before he can get on the porch away from his dad. He hugs him tight next, while Grace goes to greet Ice. "I tried to keep him inside," Ice whispers, causing Grace to giggle.

"It's fine. I know he's been nervous."

Once inside, Bradley lays out all the paperwork they were given. He explains everything, with Grace chiming in as needed. "So this is what they're recommending first?" Mav asks, looking over the paperwork.

"Yea. The IUI is cheaper and less invasive. Essentially just putting everything where it needs to be to make a baby."

Ice gently squeezes Mav's arm before they meet the kids' gazes. "Do you want to do it?" Ice asks.

Bradley and Grace share a look, having a silent conversation between themselves. "Yea. I want to try. I...." she breaks off, steeling herself before she continues. "I don't want to give up just yet. I want to make Bradley a dad because I know he'll be an amazing one. I want to expand this little family we have."

Mav gives a tight hug. He's so proud that she took his words to heart and is still holding on to a little bit of hope despite everything trying to take it from her.

"Then we'll make it happen," Ice promises.

"Actually.. I think we can handle this first round. We've saved up some over the last few months. And we wanna do this as much as possible without dipping into any savings or airplane money you two have. We know we might have to, but.."

"B you don't have to do that. We can help."

"I know, dad." Bradley gives him that sweet smile that reminds him of the four year old that hung onto his every word. "But let us do this first round. If we have to do more, then we'll need the help."

Ice squeezes Mav's arm once more, and Mav concedes. "Alright. We can do that."

"Thanks dad." Bradley hugs him tight, knowing how much it took for Mav to concede to him just then. "I promise we'll let you help when we need it."

Grace has to do another round of meds, with ovulation tests, and before they know it, the day of the procedure rolls around. She keeps Mav's words in the back of her mind for the whole two weeks, and Ice and Mav do their best to keep the kids distracted and busy during those two weeks at Bradley's request.

The day she should start her period comes and goes. They try not to think about it, but it's all Grace can think of. The kitchen at the Hard Deck gets a solid deep clean, and Grace would've tackled the bar too if Penny hadn't stopped her. The next day is the same, except Grace is off and she finds herself at base, cleaning Bradley's office, before tackling Mav's.

Mav finds her after his last class of the day. "Gracie?"

She spins to face him with a sheepish smile. "Hi," she waves.

"Sweetheart what are you doing?"

She sighs as she sinks into the chair across from his desk. "I needed to stay busy and I was off today. Figured if I showed up and tried to clean the bar again, Penny would kill me. So I came here."

Mav leans up against his desk, watching her. "Uh huh. And you've just been cleaning?"

"Yea. Pops' office is way too clean to even bother. So I did yours and Bradley's."

I know you're scared and your pain is imperfect

Mav kneels down in front of her when she won't meet his eyes. "What's going on sweetheart?"

She sighs as her shoulders slump. "I should've started yesterday," she sighs.

Mav gives her hand a squeeze. "I see." He stands up and kisses her forehead. "Well it's a good thing it's Friday," he smiles. He drops some things on his desk, before snatching up some keys.

"Why?" Grace asks giving him a puzzled look.

"Because. Means we can go to the hanger for the weekend. Get out of town."

"I've got a shift tomorrow."

"I'll call Penny."

"Mav no its fine. I just..."

"Trust me sweetheart. If you're not ready to take a test, getting out of town will be the best thing."

"Ok," she whispers.

He pulls her up into a hug. "Now go find that kid of mine and tell him to hurry up. We'll meet ya out there tonight."

"Thanks dad," she whispers as she hugs him back just as tight.

But don't you give up on yourself

She heads off to get Bradley, Mav calling Penny as he walks to Ice's office informing him of the new plans.

The weekend ends up being the perfect distraction. Grace enjoys watching the guys fly, and Bradley is even able to convince her to go up once. The view is gorgeous and she ends up really loving it. It helps that her husband is patient and gentle in the plane with her behind him. By Sunday night, she feels well rested and loved and taken care of.

Monday morning before work, Bradley finds her in the bathroom throwing up and dry heaving. He wets a wash cloth and rubs over her forehead and the back of her neck. "You ok?" He whispers when she leans back against him just breathing deep.

"I'm so nauseous," she whines.

Bradley softly hums as he keeps running the wash cloth over her. He just holds her, letting her breathe through it until the feeling passes. "Think maybe you should take a test now?"

She shakes her head no before he even finishes his question. "You know I had nausea spells before my period with the meds last time."

"Mmm. But I don't remember you ever puking."

"Could be a fluke," she argues.

"Ok baby. Ok," he concedes. He softly kisses her forehead before helping her up. He stays right there while she rinses her mouth and then helps her back to bed. "Just promise you'll take it easy at work if you still don't feel good."

"I will," she promises, pulling him down for a kiss before he's off to work.

Grace feels better after another hour of sleep, and she's convinced herself it's just a fluke when it only happens the once. By the next weekend, she's officially a week late, her temp is still elevated, and she's absolutely exhausted.

That fear that's inside you will lift, give it time

It all comes to a head Saturday over family dinner. The minute Grace walks through the door, the smell of her favorite sushi and hibachi take out sends her running to the guest bathroom off Mav and Ice's foyer. Bradley instantly follows leaving his Dads standing in the doorway confused.

Mav lights up when he puts the pieces together but Ice reigns him in. "Don't. We don't know anything."

"When has Grace ever gotten sick at the smell of food?"

"When she's had a stomach bug," Ice deadpans.

Mav sticks his tongue out, but they retreat to the living room to wait on the kids. They don't have to wait long, Bradley carrying a very pale Grace. He lays her on the couch, Grace covering her face with a whine.

"Might wanna put the food away," Bradley suggests, when Grace groans and just tries to breathe through it.

"You got it kiddo. What can we get her?"

"Got any sprite or crackers?"

Ice gives him a nod as they both retreat to the kitchen. Ice packs away the food for now as Mav brings back the requested items. He sits at Grace's feet, lifting them into his lap. Bradley's sitting with her head against his thighs, as he runs a wash cloth over her face still.

"Here sweetheart. Wanna try one of these?"

"Sprite first," Bradley answers already knowing which one she'll pick first. Mav hands it to him, and Bradley helps her take some slow slips.

"Sooooo, stomach bug?" Mav asks, causing Ice to let out a loud groan from the kitchen.

Bradley can't help but chuckle himself, knowing Mav has been dying to ask since Grace ran to the bathroom. "We don't know Dad," he finally says. "This is the second time this week it's happened though."

I've heard a story, a girl, she once told me

Ice rejoins them, sitting on the coffee table near the couch. He brushes some hair off Grace's forehead as she tries a cracker. "How you feeling sweetheart?"

"I'm ok. I'll be fine. I'm sure it's nothing."

Mav makes a wounded noise at that causing Bradley to giggle once more. "I think dad disagrees with you babe."

Grace sighs as she shakes her head at Bradley. She takes another cracker from Mav and works her way vertical, leaning her head over on Bradley's shoulder. "Think you're gonna have to hold that hope yourself Mav."

"I'll do it." He pulls her gently into a side hug. "You know I will. Good things are coming Grace. I know you're scared, but twice is a coincidence sweetheart."

"Not necessarily," she grumbles.

Mav kisses the side of her forehead as he shares a look with Ice. "Do you think you can eat honey?" Ice asks her.

"Not what yall ordered." She feels herself turning green at the thought of the take out.

"What do you think you can eat?" Mav asks her as she nibbles on another cracker.

"Grilled cheese," she shrugs. "I dunno. Food makes me wanna gag at the moment."

It's so hard for Mav not to remind her that might be a good sign, but he doesn't say a word. "Grilled cheeses are dad's specialty," Bradley smiles.

"What are yall gonna eat though?" she pouts. She feels terrible that she's ruined their dinner plans.

"Grilled cheeses are fine," Ice reassures. "Taking care of you is the most important."

She settles on the couch with Bradley while Ice and Mav go fix the sandwiches. She can hear them whispering in the kitchen, but she just can't let herself hope just yet. "Dad might be right," Bradley whispers as he rubs her back.

"I know... I just..."

"I know baby. I know." He softly kisses the top of her head as they just relax. They end up enjoying the night on the couch, eating the sandwiches and catching up from the week. Grace dozes off, exhausted, and they let her sleep as they keep talking quietly. Bradley promises Mav and Ice that he will try to get her to test soon. He gently scoops her up, and it's a testament to how tired she is that she doesn't even wake.

"B just take her to the guest room and you two stay."

"Ok, dad," Bradley smiles. He knows it'll make Mav feel better to have them under the roof for the night. He tucks Grace into the bed, and after hugging Mav and Ice, joins her. They sleep all through the night, and Bradley wakes before her. She's gorgeous and he loves watching her wake up.

He softly kisses her forehead; "Morning beautiful."

"We stayed the night?" she murmurs sleepily, taking in the room around them.

"Yea you fell asleep and dad suggested we stay. Seemed easier."

She rubs her eyes as she stretches. "Ok." She gives him a sweet smile, and pulls him down for a kiss. "Think they made breakfast?"

"Most definitely," he grins.

They get up, and Grace snags a hoodie, that she suspects Bradley had left here at some point. She throws her hair up in a bun, and once she feels mostly presentable, they head out to the kitchen. She squeezes Bradley's hand as she breathes deep at the smell of the coffee.

"Morning kiddos," Ice smiles, seeing them join them.

"Hey Pops, Dad."

"Morning," Grace tries to smile. "I'll...." She breaks for the bathroom unable to hold it back like she thought she'd be able to.

"Bradley..."

"I got it dad. Just... maybe no coffee," he shrugs. He finds Grace in their bathroom, breathing deep. He wets a wash cloth and kneels beside her.

"You ok?" he whispers.

She leans into his shoulder as she just breathes. "Yea... I just..." She sighs as he wraps his arms around her. "I dunno felt sick. I'm so nauseous."

Bradley softly rubs her back as he gently rocks her. "Baby..."

"I know," she whispers. She clings to him tighter. "I'm just scared."

"Me too," he whispers. "But we have to jump sometimes."

"Ok," she whispers. She gives him a small nod, and Bradley pulls her head off his chest to stare into her eyes.

"Yea?"

"Yea. Go get me one."

"What if I send dad?" he grins.

Grace chuckles softly. "Ok. Do that and you can stay with me."

Bradley kisses her forehead and then helps her back to the edge of the bed. He heads back to the kitchen, and he's not surprised when they both turn to him expectantly. "Who wants to run to the store for us?"

"I'll be right back," Mav says, already having his bike key in his pocket.

Ice pulls Bradley into a hug; he can see the fear and barely concealed excitement in his eyes. "It's going to be ok."

"Yea... Yea I know Pops."

He goes back to cuddle Grace until Mav gets back. She dozes a little, and prays her stomach will settle, sipping some Sprite. Mav's back within thirty minutes and he quietly knocks on the door. He passes Bradley the box with a small smile, and tells them they'll keep breakfast warm.

"Well... Here goes," Grace sighs, taking the box from Bradley's hand. He pulls her into a deep kiss, holding her tight.

"Whatever happens, we're going to be ok."

She gives him a shaky smile and then closes the door to the bathroom. She comes out a few minutes later and sits on the bed beside him. "Baby?"

"Gotta wait three minutes. I don't... I don't know that I can look at it B."

"That's ok. I can do it." They sit there watching the minutes tick by and when it passes five minutes, Grace finally pulls back from his arms. She gives him a nod, and then she starts twisting the hoodie sleeves around her hands. She's almost petrified of the results after all of this.

Bradley comes back holding the test, and he's doing his best, not to give it away. He knows his eyes have to be shining though. "B?"

He turns the test towards her, and she immediately closes her eyes. "Grace... baby just look."

"Bradley..."

"Please?"

She slowly opens her eyes, connecting with his smile first. She lets her eyes drop down to the test, and she can't move. She sits there in stunned silence just staring. "Grace?"

"Oh my god," she whispers, a hand dropping to her stomach. "We... It..."

That I would be happy again

Bradley drops the test and picks her up, Grace wrapping her arms and legs around him immediately. "Congrats Mommy," he whispers as he holds her tight.

She cries into his neck as she clings to him. "I can't believe it!"

"I know. I know. It worked though. Grace you're pregnant."

She cradles his face, wiping away his own tears, before she kisses him hard and deep. "Congrats Daddy," she whispers, more happy tears rolling down her cheeks.

The test is forgotten on the floor as Bradley carries her out to the kitchen. The coffee is gone, and Mav and Ice have moved to the living room, so Bradley keeps walking.

Mav sees the tears on Bradley's cheeks and squeezes Ice's hand before he gets up. "Oh kiddos..."

"Hi Grandad and Grandpops," Bradley says before Mav can finish his thought.

They both stare at him, letting the words sink in, as he sets Grace on her feet. "Wait... you just..."

"He did," Grace smiles. She jumps into Mav's arms giving him a tight hug. "You held onto that hope long enough Grandad."

"Come here," Ice says, pulling Bradley into a tight hug, before he and Mav switch kids. After more happy tears are shed, they ask Grace what she thinks she can stomach for breakfast. She gives them a grin, telling them some toast will be fine for now, as they both move back to the kitchen to fix their breakfast.

"I have a feeling I'm fixing to be doted on even more than I already was," she whispers with a giggle.

"Oh no doubt," Bradley agrees.

Despite their rough journey to making their little miracle baby, Grace ends up with a fairly easy pregnancy. They tell the rest of their family and friends after her twelve week appointment, and time seems to fly after that.

The nursery comes together rather easily after their gender reveal party. They kept it a surprise and Bradley got to fly the Mustang with a banner flying behind as the announcement; "Daddy's Little WingMAN coming soon." If Mav and Ice cried seeing it, well Grace just let them. It made for a cute video though.

The last ten weeks found her on bed rest, which she hated, but did without complaint for her little man. Ice and Mav constantly stopped by to keep her company or help out. If one of them wasn't available, usually one of the Flyboy uncles would stop by. She loved them dearly, but felt they were going overboard taking care of her, but she didn't really have the heart to tell them.

At thirty-eight weeks, Grace goes into labor. One phone call to Ice, and Bradley is off work and on his way to her, Mav riding along. They get to the hospital just as her water breaks, and ten hours later, Grace is holding their son. Bradley gets to cut the cord and then follows over to the side as they clean him up. He carries him back to Grace, cooing at him the whole time as the baby just watches him.

He settles on the side of her bed, gently placing the baby in her arms. The room empties quickly, leaving them in the quiet. "He's perfect," Grace whispers, her finger rubbing over his cheek.

"Like his mama," Bradley smiles. They cuddle their baby for close to an hour, Grace feeding him during that time. Once he's asleep, and they're for sure settled, Bradley leaves him with Grace to go get his dads.

"Come on. We got someone to meet you," he smiles, after they both hug him tight.

They walk into the room quietly, and Grace smiles at them from the bed. "We've got a sleepy boy who can't wait to meet his grandparents," she smiles.

Bradley gently takes him out of Grace's arms before turning to his dads. "Dad, Pops, we'd like to introduce you to your grandson, Mitchell Thomas Bradshaw."

Grace can't help but giggle, despite the video she's taking. They'd promised Slider they'd get the reaction on video, as they'd kept the name a secret from Mav and Ice.

"Oh Bradley! It's perfect," Mav whispers wiping his eyes. He gently takes the baby from Bradley, as Ice leans over his shoulder. The little boy yawns and wiggles in his grandfather's hold getting comfy. His eyes open and blink a few times at the two new faces and then he settles right back to sleep.

"You did amazing kiddos," Ice whispers, grinning over at them. Bradley had curled into the bed with Grace and she looked like she was about to doze off. "You two rest. We got him," Ice promises.

They settle onto the little couch, taking turns holding the sleeping baby, while Bradley lets Grace get some sleep. "I knew you'd come along and be just perfect," Mav whispers to Mitchell. "Grandad never gave up hope. And now you can be daddy's little wingman."

Mitchell Thomas had no idea just how loved he was going to be growing up. He had his parents, his grandads, and a whole slew of aunts and uncles that spoiled him rotten. The kid never wanted for anything, and with his daddy's big brown eyes, no one could hardly tell him no. He was his mama's boys and his daddy's wingman, completing their little family.

I heard from the heavens

#my writing

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