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whumpdoyoumean · 1 year ago

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Okay, so @nyctophiliac-writer and this post inspired me and I wrote a lil tiny self indulgent drabble. Enjoy!

XXX

There was a part of Ballister Boldheart that knew something like this could happen. After all, people are people. People can be angry, and afraid (especially where new or different things are concerned), and that can make them dangerous. Since being reunited with Ambrosius, and since Nimona’s return, he’d been looking at the world through rose-colored lenses.

Not anymore.

Once a villain, always a villain. That’s what the knight had said after firing the bolt into Ballister’s shoulder and leaving him to bleed alone.

He’s on his back, staring up at the ceiling as he takes shallow, measured breaths to avoid jostling the arrow. Nimona is out exploring, for which Ballister is immensely grateful. He doesn’t know what would have happened if she had been here when that man showed up. What matters is that she’s safe. He doesn’t want to lose her again.

A nasty shock of pain pulls his attention away from thoughts of the shape-shifter. His shoulder hurts, and the little patch of warmth surrounding the arrow is growing at a slow but steady rate. The string lights above him begin to blur and he’s hit by a sudden wave of dizziness. He closes his eyes as the world seems to tilt and pitch beneath him, swallowing back the nausea that rises in his throat. Only problem is, now that his eyes are closed, he really doesn’t want to open them again.

He thinks maybe that’s a bad thing.

He hears the door open, and he manages to open his eyes a crack. There’s a flash of pink, and then his eyes slip shut again.

He tries to hold onto wakefulness when it comes, but consciousness proves elusive, slipping from him no matter how tightly he grasps at it. He’s aware of strong arms gathering him up; Nimona’s voice urging him to hold on just a little longer; glimpses of a sunset; an out-of-focus face hovering above him as gentle hands touch his face, his chest, smooth his hair back from his forehead.

“--get the arrow out,” he hears, and then, “Hang on, Bal.”

A memory crawls its way into his muddled brain, his own voice saying, “Most people scream at that part.”

Then the arrow is being yanked from him, and scream he does as everything goes bright white and then, finally, an oppressive and steady black.

He wakes up with a gasp, sitting up and immediately regretting the action, his mechanical hand flying to his shoulder as his eyes screw shut in pain.

“Easy!” Ambrosius says. One hand cups around the back of Ballister’s head, the other pressing against his chest, easing him back against the pile of pillows behind him. “Easy, Bal. Don’t hurt yourself.”

Ballister opens his eyes to see Ambrosius staring at him, his face alert and pinched with concern.

“I’m alright,” Ballister says, trying to smile despite the ache in his shoulder. “You don’t need to look so worried…” The events that had led him here suddenly come rushing back and he looks around sharply. “Where’s Nimona?”

Nimona materializes beside him, her eyes big and round. “Here, boss.”

“You saved me,” Ballister says.

“Your nemesis did all the work,” Nimona says, narrowing her eyes at Ambrosius, who makes a face at her. She responds by sticking her tongue out at him.

“Well, thank you,” Ballister says. “Both of you.”

“You should rest,” Ambrosius says, brushing his thumb across Ballister’s cheekbone. Ballister leans his head forward, pressing into the other man’s touch.

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t smother you in your sleep,” Nimona says loudly, and Ambrosius rolls his eyes. Ballister smiles, for real this time, and lets his eyes close.

“Behave, you two,” he murmurs.

He falls asleep to the sounds of quiet bickering.

He couldn’t be happier.

#nimona #nimona netflix #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #ballister x ambrosius #whump fic #my writing #my fic #my fanfic #whump

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topazadine · 2 months ago

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Why Mindfulness Is a Key Practice for Writers

A writer’s brain is chaos most of the time. We are all over the place, ping-ponging amongst a bramble of curious thoughts and half-snatched ideas. It can get pretty overwhelming in there, and this can distract us from our ultimate goal: to make something amazing that people love.

More than that, over-cogitation can cause burnout. When you’re on alert all the time, puzzling through difficult passages and plot holes, then you’ll quickly find yourself with no energy to continue your work.

But what if the antidote is to be head empty, no thoughts? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could simply rocket into the blissful void of Orange Cat Energy – whenever you want?

Well you can, my friend. That’s where mindfulness comes into play.

What Is Mindfulness?

I think everyone can benefit from mindfulness, but many get very intimidated by the concept because they have preconceived notions of what it actually means.

Mindful defines it as such:

Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.

That’s really all it is. You live precisely in the moment, not thinking about the future and not fretting over the past.

That means you’re not worrying about your writer’s block or spinning yourself into circles about whether you are a good writer (you are) or if you will get published someday (I believe in you!). You just are … being.

Why Is Mindfulness Important for Writers?

Your brain is an energy-hungry organ. It gobbles up one-fifth of your body’s nutritional input, despite being only 2% of your body weight.

That three-pound succubus is voracious, but there comes to a point where it is expending so much energy that it tires you out. This is especially true if you are going through any stressors or have subconscious frustrations that take up even more of your neural expenditure.

Just as your body needs time to recover from a strenuous exercise, so too does your mind need a bit of a reset. While sleep is awesome, it is also a time when your brain is cleaning itself out, flushing toxins, and building new connections. Yes, your poor brain really doesn’t get much of a break – ever.

But you can provide that break through mindfulness. During mindfulness, you don’t focus on the higher-level thinking that creativity demands; instead, you consider the little things that make life pleasant, emerging from this void space with a newfound appreciation and focus.

The Benefits of Mindfulness on Your Craft

Many of us writers want everything we do to help our work in some way; we live and breathe our writing, and we don’t want to waste a second without learning something new. And that’s great! Mindfulness can help with that, too.

When you take time each day to be a real part of this world, you’ll find you notice things that you never thought about before, such as the soft sound of snowing plinking down or the color of a nearby roof when the sun hits it just right. This can be tremendous fodder for building even more sumptuous descriptions into your writing.

Diving down into your inner self also allows you to feel how feelings really feel in your body. A prickle of irritation at a loud sound makes your neck tingle; contentment fills your stomach with a warm heaviness. Really focusing on something makes me feel as if I’m leaning into a spectral wind, and the edges of my vision darken into nothingness.

Knowing how each of these things impact you can help you build that into characterizations and connect with readers in a very meaningful, visceral way.

And of course, a stray thought about how to move your plot forward may appear. You can note it, appreciate it, and file it away for later, moving back into your comfy space of full attention on every sensation.

Ways to Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness doesn’t need to involve donning a saffron robe and chanting over a brazier filled with fragrant herbs – though it totally can if you’ve got the gumption. Go off!

However, most of us have other stuff to do with our lives and can’t head off to a monastery whenever we feel a bit work-heavy. Here’s how you can incorporant a sprinkle of serenity into your everyday life: custom-tailored to the writer mindset.

Meditation

Meditation is an excellent way to practice mindfulness, but when I started out, I found silent meditation to be almost more anxiety-inducing than not meditating at all. While I’ve built up my tolerance for it, I still don’t like it; instead, I prefer mantra meditation.

With mantra meditation, you repeat a phrase, silently or out loud, over and over again. If you are doing it religiously, you are supposed to recite it 108 times, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to.

I am a Nichiren Buddhist, so I use the mantra “nam myoho renge kyo;” however, there are many lists of excellent mantras you can use instead. You can also make your own in your native tongue, but I have found that reciting something in a different language makes it easier to turn my mind off.

Mantra meditation works for a very simple reason: it is neurologically impossible to focus on two things at once. Even if you feel like you’re having two thoughts simultaneously, you’re actually not. If you are reciting a mantra, you’re not thinking about anything else, and this can clear up mental blockage.

No need to get the words perfect if you are practicing for relaxation. Listen to an audio of someone chanting it, and then go as slow or as fast as you want. Many people like the most simple mantra – “om” – because it requires no training whatsoever: just one long, drawn out syllable.

Take a deep breath, say “om,” and draw it out until your lungs are completely empty. There! Don’t you feel better?

Forest Bathing

Nature is all around us, even if we often ignore it. The otherworldly glory of a spiderweb, the curious antics of a squirrel, or the fragile grace of a deer browsing can all be magical experiences – if only you’ll let them.

Forest bathing as a concept is based in the Japanese practice of shinrin-yoku, which translates literally to forest bath. All it means is to spend some time outdoors with your phone off, relaxing and taking in the wilderness with all five of your senses.

Studies demonstrate that forest bathing helps to lower the heartrate and reduce stress. There is something innately healing about being surrounded by greenery, getting some fresh air, and appreciating the warm sunlight on your skin.

Of course, not all of us have two hours to go meander through a forest, or even have one within close proximity. And that’s okay! You can still benefit from nature bathing: consider it a low-dose form of nature bathing.

I like to sit by my living room window and watch the animals go by. Through taking the time to put down my phone and admire the world, I have seen the most beautiful sights, like a spider taking down a fly within seconds or a groundhog nibbling on my dandelions. These sound mundane, but as artists, we have a natural sense of whimsy that helps to make even the smallest experiences into a magical, world-grounding moment.

Just a few minutes of paying close attention to the nature outside, whether that is clouds skirting by or grass waving gently in the wind, can do marvels for your soul.

Cleaning

It’s an old stereotype that writers will organize their home top to bottom before they’ll actually sit down at their desk and write, but honestly? There’s a reason.

By organizing your physical space, you are reducing your mental burden.

The Royal Australian College of General Practitioners explains:

Bursting cupboards and piles of paper stacked around the house may seem harmless enough. But research shows disorganisation and clutter have a cumulative effect on our brains. Our brains like order, and constant visual reminders of disorganisation drain our cognitive resources, reducing our ability to focus. The visual distraction of clutter increases cognitive overload and can reduce our working memory. In 2011, neuroscience researchers using fMRI (functional magnetic resonance imaging) and other physiological measurements found clearing clutter from the home and work environment resulted in a better ability to focus and process information, as well as increased productivity.

Now, I am a super messy person: many creatives are. A bit of clutter can be fine, but it can get to a point where it interferes with your happiness and leads to a cluttered mind, too.

You don’t need to become a minimalist, but organization can go a long way, and even washing dishes can help give you a sense of accomplishment that helps you get back to your document. When I feel antsy, I often find myself sweeping the floor, clearing out the cobwebs just as I want to banish those lurking in my brain.

Exercise

And finally, we get to exercise. Not only does it provide neurogenic benefits, but exercise is a mindful activity: you are focused on your movements and what your body is doing rather than anything outside of the gym.

Whether it is tramping along on a treadmill or lifting weights, you can seriously harm yourself if you’re not paying attention, which forces you to let go of everything else that you’re worried about.

I, being the freak I am, like exercise on hard mode, where I could seriously injure myself if I am not paying attention. As such, I am a huge fan of rock climbing and horseback riding, which are pretty much the ultimate practice of mindfulness. For rock climbing, you must be perfectly aware of your body at all times, down to the tiniest toe placement, or you'll go flying off the wall. And for horseback riding, all you have the space for is Horse, and your love of Horse, and how you'd give up your first-born child if Horse told you to.

Some people get an endorphin rush that provides them with a sense of well-being, but some are unfortunate enough not to experience such happiness, particularly those with chronic fatigue. However, the act of losing yourself in an activity can still provide you with the calm necessary to plow on when you’re done, and that is well worth it.

Mindfulness Shouldn’t Be Difficult

In fact, the more that you practice mindfulness, the more you will find that you enjoy it. This simple work of living with intention will enhance your appreciation for everyday life – and allow you ample mental rest for the hard work of writing.

There’s no need to go on some grand spirit journey to Tibet or an exotic island; you don’t even need a candle, yoga mat, or special incense. You don’t have to set up an altar or make it a spiritual practice at all.

Nearly anything can be a practice in mindfulness if it is done intentionally and with full awareness. Whatever you enjoy doing, stop and take a deep breath, then focus your whole being on that thing.

Don’t multi-task; don’t let your mind wander to other things. Whether that is walking your dog, playing with your children, or sweeping the floor, commit yourself to fully immersing in it. Engage all five senses and pass no judgment on what you feel, whether that is a siren wailing by or the unpleasant perfume of a stranger. Simply note it and let it flow past.

If you find mindfulness difficult, note that too, and accept your current feelings without shame or judgment. It’s okay. That’s part of mindfulness as well.

Now that you're being mindful, perhaps you'll consider purchasing my debut novel?

9 Years Yearning is a coming-of-age gay romance set in a fantasy world with poetry magic. It follows two young men as they grow from sorta-enemies, to frenemies, to friends, and finally to lovers.

If you do read it, please don't forget to leave a review!

Reviews are essential to getting visibility on Amazon, so every single one is golden to me.

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henrysglock · 3 months ago

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Dude the fact that you're hating on the byler side of the fandom for speculating on what they're filming in the church is crazy, when you youself have posted such outlandish theories like 'Hopper killed a cat as a teenager' bffr

Dude the fact that you're hating on me on anon is crazy, when I myself post my hate openly and with my name attached.

🚨 Coward Alert! 🚨

Also: Those posts were non-rebloggable. That means you either follow me, or you stalk my blog. I'm not sure which is more embarrassing for you!

Anyway, to actually address what you said:

I didn't say Hopper killed the cat, I said "which of these two (Henry or Hopper) seems more like someone who would be violent towards animals of their own volition" WORKING WITHIN IN THE FRAMEWORK ESTABLISHED BY HOPPER'S TREATMENT OF EL. The line from the Hopper TFS audition tape indicated that he a) hates cats, b) wants to beat the shit out of one, and c) wants to shake the hand of the guy who killed the (at the time) unnamed cat. Which one seems more likely to harm things smaller than him: A guy with that ^^ line, or a kid who looks disturbed and vaguely ill while interacting with a rabbit that broke its leg in a snare? And I wasn't even entirely wrong. I was wrong about Hopper, which I admitted freely, but I was never wrong about Henry. It was a line that existed in a video that was immediately redacted when the other tapes weren't, indicating that it was too close to spoiler territory…and it DID appear in the play! The content of the other videos did not! Funny how that works.

As indicated above, I do my best to make sure my theories always have some kind of factual basis. The byIer theory you're referring to is based in what people want to see happen, not what's actually been presented to them...and that's ALWAYS going to end in disappointment (<- something I have said many times, something that shapes how I do analysis). There was no indication that the church was going to be about byIer, and I said multiple times that the quote on the sign is more about the Creels/Henry's thing with the Mindflayer...Especially since Mike and Will don't have a lick of religious trauma between them, unlike Henry who has a whole ass arc in a church ��. Lo and behold: red mindscape lights at the church. Vecna. No Finn, iffy on Noah. Who would have thought...who could have guessed...who could have foreseen...........

I don't have the attitude. When I saw TFS and realized the line had been taken out of context, I immediately posted and said "Huh, I was wrong about Hopper. That's a lesson about assumptions." I didn't overdose on copium about it and post "uuuhuhuh it can still happen Hopper can still have been a violent teen". No. I acknowledged that I was wrong in December, and I have since altered my theories accordingly. I let it go. I've also said over and over that all of my theories have a maximum confidence rating of 50/50. Most of them rank in at about 10-15% confidence. It's the academic writer in me that says "post your hypothesis with confidence, and if you're wrong, then retract and try again". I've never been that cocky and self-assured...because it's embarrassing to have acted that way only to be wrong (especially!! when it's something easily disproven, like "the church is all about byler"). If other people, like you, want to ignore my self-awareness and try to make me out as a hypocrite, that's no longer a me problem. That's a you problem. Lol. Lmao, even.

#asks

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the-guilty-writer · 1 year ago

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Criminal Minds PRIDE Fics

Well, it's the end of Pride Month. Thank you to everyone who entered fics, new or old (or both)! This was my first time hosting a writing challenge and the amount of love surrounding it was truly incredible. From the range of writers who participated, to the the types of fics, it shows just how broad this community spans. I hope all of you are well, and safe, and know that you are extremely loved ❤.

This list is not exhaustive by any means. There are many other LGBTQ+ Criminal Minds fics out there, these are just the entries for the challenge. If you have a late entry (I know I do) don't be afraid to send it in! If you sent in a fic and it is missing, let me know that too!

Please let me know if you have issues with the accessibility of this list for any reason (I used fun colors again). I am happy to provide you with an accessible format.

(once again, my favorite CM Pride gif which is actually part of a set that I need to track down and reblog later)

Fics are under the cut!

Reader Insert Fics:

Note: I tried my best to indicate reader traits to make it easier to find fics. If you find any of these to be inaccurate, please let me know and I will edit it to be correct

Spencer Reid

(In)visible by @foxy-eva: (fem!reader, bisexual!reader) There are a lot of obstacles you had to face as a queer woman but you never thought that falling in love with a man was one of them.

Bigotry Kills by @staygoldsquatchling02: (trans masculine non-binary!reader) While on a case in Tennessee, Spencer and Y/N accidentally reveal that Y/n is transgender to an unsub who has made it his mission to ride his small town of people he views as “less than himself”.

Ocean by @cinnamon-lesbian: (intersex!fem!reader) The reader can’t seem to love herself. Spencer lets her in on how amazing she really is.

I'd Better Ask Emily by Gill: (daughter!reader, lesbian!reader) When Spencer goes looking for your school notebook and accidentally reads your diary instead he goes to the BAU bisexual badass for help.

Emily Prentiss

Freedom-Seeking Hearts by @/foxy-eva: (fem!reader) For how much longer will Emily Prentiss and Fem!Reader be able to contain their freedom-seeking hearts?

Jennifer Jareau

Somewhere Underlined by @railingsofsorrow: (fem!reader) jennifer jareau would be the death of you someday, you know that and you'd probably let her. surprisingly, you weren't aware that you caused that same reaction on her, too.

Aaron Hotchner

So Much by Gill: (teen!reader) reader comes out to their dad as gay and his reaction is not what they expected.

---

Character x Character Fics:

Aaron Hotchner x Derek Morgan

second chance by @masterwords: It's time for Hotch to tell Jack about his relationship with Derek. He's understandably concerned that it could go bad, but hopefully nothing some chocolate chip pancakes won't help. (Spoiler Alert: It doesn't go bad. There are some rough patches here but this is a story with a happy ending.)

Derek Morgan x Spencer Reid

Love can rise out of the ashes by @satchels-and-socks: Spencer is heartbroken after Maeve. Spencer locks himself away and becomes a shell of his formal self. Derek realized something and is determined to show Spencer that life goes on and how someone other than Maeve is truly in love with him.

Jennifer Jareau x Emily Prentiss

The Way You Felt by @andiebeaword: While on a flight to help Spencer, exes J.J. and Emily ultimately come to terms with their buried feelings.

Jennifer Jareau x Tara Lewis

Soft & Sweet by @/foxy-eva: A confession between JJ and Tara leads to a night full of soft and sweet moments. (includes smut, 18+, minors DNI)

Emily Prentiss x Clara Seger

I Felt a Million Things When I First Met You by @baubeautyandthegeek: The one where Emily finally comes clean about just how come Clara’s always so willing to help.

Spencer Reid x Aaron Hotchner

There Are Secrets That We Still Have Left To Find (on Ao3) by @starzzyeyed: Spencer Reid is seven years old the first time he comes out to anyone. Three times Spencer comes out, across three different points in his life, all with three very different outcomes.

#criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds x gn!reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fluff #emily prentiss fanfiction #emily prentiss fluff #spencer reid #emily prentiss #derek morgan #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia #aaron hotchner #tara lewis

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neerons · 6 months ago

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Hi! I'd like to know your opinion on one of my expectations for Kazuomi's next season. I have a question for you too ☺️

**Spoilers alert : I talk a little about Kei and Yuzu's past stories**

In the near future, Kazuomi will definitely reveal his true self to the MC, but I also want her to have some deductions about the truth he's hiding (his past and his real feelings). The MC has a really good intuition, and she likes to investigate. So I don't want her to only wait for him to share his feelings and do nothing. I want her to show Kazuomi and let him know that he can actually talk to her and be vulnerable around her. Because she will always be by his side and love him no matter what. Kazuomi has always been here when the MC was feeling down and lost. This time, it's Kazuomi who needs help, even though he thinks otherwise.

I want to see more sweet moments between these two lovers. More importantly, I don't want Kazuomi to still feel lonely and to not feel understood. It means the world to him that the MC respects his boundaries and understands him like no one else did. Therefore, I hope the MC won't be too passive in the next stories and that she will try to find the truth by herself, to help and truly understand Kazuomi. You know, similar to Kei and Yuzu's stories. I'm aware that Kazuomi has a different writer, but I want his story to be as well-written as Kei and Yuzu's stories. In fact, Kazuomi is a complex character who needs good development.

When it comes to the past, he is, among the 3S, the one who keeps chasing his past. **Spoilers : We know that Kei unconsciously erased his past in order to protect himself from his trauma. For Yuzu, he chose to abandon his little brother in order to have a better future, and he doesn't regret his choice. However, he feels guilty as he still cares for his brother.**

On the other hand, Kazuomi claims to not care about the past and says that the present is more important to him. We now know it's not the case. He wants to forget his past and so, he tries to be someone who lives in the present, but it's only a mask. Like I said in a previous comment, his past still haunts him today and he can't deny it. (I don't know if you read Jujutsu Kaisen, but Kazuomi's issue with his past kind of reminds me of Gojo Satoru's story)

Furthermore, if we analyse Kazuomi's character, we can see that most of the things he does are related to his past. For example, his dream to open a resort, the meaning of Christmas for him, his love for games and gambling (in addition to the anticipation and the mental thrill of not knowing the outcome because of all the different possibilities), his love for sweets and desserts, his feeling of loneliness and his struggle to really trust others (sometimes he can be emotionally detached), etc. That's why his upcoming stories must be well-written because Kazuomi is the character who needs to confront his past the most. I know you'll post a detailed analysis of the characters from MK, so I can't wait to read it!

Of course, all of the things I've written will happen depending on the plot for his upcoming season. Someone of Kazuomi's past life will most likely appear too (similar to Kei and Yuzu's stories). Who do you think it could be, and why?

I'm sorry I wrote a lot haha. Thanks for reading until the end! ❤️

Heya 🥰

Kazuomi's Cryptic Past

As of now, we can only interpret how things will go since we don't know what happened to him other than his family basically betrayed him. He lost everything. He felt lonely and not loved. He became homeless. He hates his father more than anyone, too, it seems.

I totally agree that Kazuomi needs to rely on others, especially MC, about his past. We should be able to see that soon once his next season is released.

Maybe the MC will have her own deductions from his past and play an active role in discovering it for herself, or maybe she'll actually decide to keep those deductions to herself and let Kazuomi reveal it to her, out of consideration and love for him.

When it comes to Kazuomi, he knows that MC is there for him. He's already aware of that, deep down. As you said, he also appreciates that she doesn't push him for answers and revelations about his past.

In his mind, he already sees her as the woman of his life. The only one who could understand him that well, and not press him for answers. She's irreplaceable to him.

But Kazuomi is also someone who has been betrayed before. Especially by his father, and by women, especially his "mother". The story with his "mother" was vague but it seemed to have had a huge impact on him, and I don't know exactly what she did, but it's clear he was incredibly hurt by this woman. In the end, he didn't feel truly loved by her.

So it makes sense that he might not completely feel ready to be weak in front of someone again, even if it's the love of his life. He doesn't want to be weak in front of her and have her pity him, even if she's not like that.

Due to that, I assume, he often tests MC along his seasons to see how much of him she is willing to accept, and she always accepts him and loves him more, which in turn makes him love her even more, and it shows us how far their love can go (it's infinite, I'm telling you 🥰)

So this next step is, I think, going to be Kazuomi finally revealing his past in his next big MS and see how MC will react to the "real Kazuomi" and if she's still going to love him.

It's possible that the real Kazuomi is, at least according to him, pathetic, naive and weak. Or maybe it's a side of him more cruel than what he has shown her before.

Deep down, I think he's scared of what she'll think of him, and he hopes she'll accept him despite his many flaws. But he's also convinced "forever" doesn't exist, and that even their relationship might be a fleeting one.

He is currently in a philosophical conflict. He wants her by his side, wants her to know everything, but at what cost? Will she eventually leave once she knows? Will Kazuomi risk losing his life in a new gamble, and he'll have to say farewell to her?

I expect the MC to once again show him she loves him just as he is, because he is him, the man she loves, which will probably surprise and touch Kazuomi's heart way more than anyone ever could. And he'll realize and have the confirmation that he doesn't need anything but her.

MC's Personality & Love for Kazuomi

As for her, she is aware that he doesn't want to talk about his past, and she saw it when he became surprisingly silent when he was affected by memories of his past in the R&C event.

Despite her agent side, curiosity and love for investigation, we often overlook that the MC is a woman respectful enough to not poke her nose where she feels it doesn't belong.

She loves Kazuomi so much and is worried about him, rightfully so, but she doesn't want to cross a boundary without permission or consideration. She'd love for him to tell her about it someday, but she's waiting for him to be ready.

Him opening up on his own to her without her asking wouldn't be such a bad thing to me to be honest. I sure hope she plays a role in his story, and she will as always, but I think Kazuomi revealing his past to her would be a great depiction of his trust and love towards her.

Trust me, I love MC being badass and doing her job amazingly well and going beyond expectations. And if she does have a mission or a situation where she has to uncover his past in full detail, I hope it'll be done well too in a beautifully written story again.

The problem is: if she decides to uncover his past herself, how will he take it?

He treats his past like a highly confidential mission. It's possible that, if she gets involved into it too deeply in the end, they'll have to become foes again. And then Kazuomi will ultimately realize he wants her to know and won't stop her from knowing.

Or, if his past becomes dangerous for her, he'll feel guilty because she's now in danger because of him. We can't really know how things will turn out since we have no clues about what even happened to him before.

Possible outcomes in the next season?

I actually can see his next season going two different ways (at least):

She discovers the truth about his past through a mission (and the client could even be the antagonist). She'll have to put her feelings aside and fulfill her mission while having mixed feelings about discovering something he wanted to hide to the world and especially to her. Kazuomi might become distant as he decides to face his past alone and puts himself in danger against the antagonist, which will fuel the MC to save him

Another situation would be him opening up to her once the drama of his past (lui pète à la gueule 🤣) happens and he has to face his past forcefully because the antagonist either shamelessly reveals his past publicly, or in front of MC, or he'd just put Kazu and MC in a situation where they have to talk about it. And then, MC, and maybe even Yuzu, Kei, and others? would decide to help him out against said antagonist

No matter how it goes, I'm sure it'll be well written. I have never been disappointed honestly. I always see the reasoning behind the characters' actions which is probably why I'm never mad or sad about developments?

At least in MK, I've never been bothered by how a season has been written (except the case about the way the Boss' last season was treated, which is more of an exception, since Voltage discontinued him abruptly and left him with plot holes and left me with my HEART BROKEN GAHH)

Kazuomi's manufactured personality

It's funny that you mention Jujutsu Kaisen and especially Gojo Satoru when you talk about Kazuomi, because JJK became one of my favorite animes and mangas, and Gojo has a special place in my heart. I have started reading the manga so nobody spoils me!!

I can see the similarity between Gojo and Kazu. Their bubbly, quirky and charismatic personality hides the scars they try to run away from. It's also a distraction for them (and it helps them distract others from their vulnerability, too)

It makes them overcome their sadness, loneliness and anger as well since putting on a different mask enables you to put distance between your present self and your past self.

Like you said, It's clear that Kazuomi chases his past. He's the one character from MK who's really secretive about what happened to him, even more than Kei who runs away from a past full of trauma, more than Yuzu who fights against his emotions, and more than the Boss who is KNOWN for not being straightforward and having his emotions be "inactive", if that makes sense.

And I'm so curious and also scared to know what he's really like. Because I love the way he is now personality-wise, but I hope I'll love him even more once his mask falls for good. I also hope he'll still be his witty and fun self, but I'm sure his story will be amazing.

Who's the antagonist?

When it comes to who they'll be up against next time, considering the revelations from the Revenge & Challenge event, the only people I assume could make an appearance are Kazuomi's father, or maybe his "mother".

I don't know if they'd be the potential antagonists. It's possible that they were more victims to Kazuomi's father's dangerous relationships and got screwed. But Kazuomi resents his father a lot. I can't know how bad his father is, but he's not the purest person on Earth. It could be him.

In the Japanese app, we're also getting another event about the guys' pasts currently, so it's not unlikely that his parents will be making an appearance if they're still alive.

If it's not the parents, it's likely someone who knows about his parents, and past (and is linked to it) that we don't know about yet. Like Nate from Kei's Eden's Love story, who is an antagonist we couldn't have predicted. It could be one of the guys his father had secret meetings with. They were bad, and probably belonged to a sort of mafia (I forgot and I'm too lazy to check again I'll admit)

Conclusion (...am I writing an essay again? 🤣)

No matter how the season happens, the important thing, to me, is that Kazuomi finally learns to believe in "forever" and stabilizes himself with MC in the end. I hope he'll be able to live freely with her and that he can move on after all these years of suffering.

We should all forget our expectations for his route and just enjoy the ride when the time comes, though. In my humble opinion, we shouldn't wish for too many things, because that'd just make us closer to the end of his route, and it makes room for disappointment if something doesn't happen the way we wanted it to.

We have one of the best titles Voltage has made, and one of the best LIs, the elite among the elites, so let's appreciate the hard work behind it and see what the next season has to offer again. Personally, I know I'll love it 💖

(And thank you for your enthusiasm about the characters' analyses! They'll be separated into different posts for each character, and Yuzu will be the first to be out when the time comes I think. But I'm re reading every MS to do a good job, as well as reading Ikémen Prince and making art most of the time, so it's taking time haha)

Thank you for the ask!

#ask #kazuomi shido #masquerade kiss #voltage inc #love 365 #otome game #voltage #love 365 find your story #mk #otome games #voltage otome #kei soejima #yuzuru shiba #masquerade kiss boss #seiichi setoyanagi #gojo satoru #jjk #jujutsu kaisen

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corviiids · 7 months ago

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last line challenge + self rec challenge

(tagged by @argetcross and @wolffyluna respectively thank you my friends)

Last line rules: In a new post, show the last line you wrote or drew and tag as many people as there are words some people (borrowing tagger's rules).

When was the last time L had been touched by anyone at all? It must have been years ago now, if you didn’t count Watari. L swallows. His throat feels detached from the rest of him. He can feel his pulse hammering away, evidently still in the throes of that panic attack. How strange. Does his heart, working so diligently to keep him alert and awake and alive, know its beats are numbered and dwindling? Does it care? Light’s hand settles on his back, then slips uncertainly around his shoulders. L realises he is being hugged. “Oh,” he says.

(this is an au. lol)

self-rec rules: when you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five some other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💞

these are heavily weighted towards my most recent works lmfao

"as you like it" persona 5, akeshu. my running longfic and favourite child. akechi has a palace au, ren pov, the manifestation of everything i've ever tried to push myself to achieve creatively

"man's best friend, et cetera" (trigun spoilers) trigun, vashwood. years after wolfwood's death, vash meets a dog and can't banish the thought that he seems familiar

"aquascaping" hades/iliad/tsoa/etc, patrochilles. modern au where achilles runs out on his failing relationship with patroclus and gets a pet fish to cope and learning to take proper care of a pet fish definitely isn't a metaphor for anything.

"telltale" (death note spoilers) death note, lawlight. after L dies, light begins to have recurring nightmares about being in a sickly sweet domestic relationship with him. i wrote this on a plane.

"chatoyant" death note, lawlight also. fake dating where they start out mutually aware they're using each other for the investigation but then light loses his memories and thinks it's real, and L has to deal with that. i wrote most of THIS in a meeting at work!

tagging: arget and wolffy i'm cheating so pls do the other meme that you haven't done yet if you would like to. also @stygiusfic, @supremesanada, @toushindai, @joshriku and anyone in the world who sees this post pls do either meme or both as you please <3

#rookposting #i wont tag individual fandoms lol dont want to clog the tag #long post #everything i write turns into like. metaphor for grief. little animals as metaphor for grief

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inkedroplets · 10 months ago

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20 Questions More

A deeper and more detailed version of the 20 questions for AO3 fanfic writers. Thanks @eqt-95 for the tag

1) How do you keep getting ideas for your ship/fandom?

I always have too many ideas and not enough time to actually write.

2) Which authors inspire you in your fandom, and why are they so freakishly good?

There are way too many authors to list that I feel like would deserve a mention. I would love to give a huge thank you to all the gifmakers still in the fandom-sphere. I can probably thank gifsets for a lot of my ideas (even if I still haven't actually written them down).

3) Aside from the characters of your main ship, who are the characters you love to write?

Within the Supercorp-sphere, I love writing for Sam. I think because I would have loved to see her stick around longer in the show itself.

4) Are there pairings or tropes you know for sure you'd never write about? Which ones?

I don't want to say any trope is technically off the table but I don't think I'd ever write a true enemies to lovers fic. I slow burn enough as it is, if I tried to write that, I'd never finish it.

5) What is your writing process and why is it cursed?

My editing process is akin to pulling weeds. I like to reduce my word count by maybe 10% on the first edit. Add back maybe 5% more and repeat the process until I'm finally happy with it. Spoiler alert: I'm never happy

6) What is your favorite part of your writing process?

I'm much more a gardener when it comes to writing so I never know where the story will go exactly. So just writing the first draft is always the most fun for me. I sometimes think the characters will act a certain way and they kind of take a life of their own and I'm just along for the ride.

7) What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had to research for a fic?

I remember having to research art forgery for essentially a throwaway line but it really was interesting. E

8) Is there a particular writing rule you struggle with (grammar, spelling, tense, reality in general)?

None in particular, but that's not to say I don't make many many mistakes. I do tend to make tiny changes as I go which means that I've doubled up on some sentences in the past and I am always mortified when I find them after I've already posted the chapter.

9) What was your hardest scene to write so far and why?

Scenes with urgency give me trouble. You want the scene to breathe but you need to be aware that time is short so what the characters can say, what they want to say and what they actually get to say are so different. There was a scene like that in A Rich Girl With Issues that I kind of agonized over. How much should I let Kara and Lena speak to one another, what's important, what should be left unsaid?

10) Have your characters ever done something you didn’t expect, changing your plot completely?

All. The. Time. I never have a plan. I sometimes have scenes I want to write and hope the story veers in that direction so I can write it but it always turns out so different.

11) If you could converse with any of the characters, who would it be and why?

Probably Lena because she's the loml (Apologies to the actual loml)

12) What are some of the tropes or themes that you find yourself returning to in your writing?

I am addicted to pining. Not just pining, angsty pining. I love writing something that's so obvious to everyone else when the characters are so in love or so full of self-loathing that they can't let themselves even begin to imagine their feelings being returned.

13) What's your most important resource as a writer?

Reading. I read voraciously. I'm normally surrounded by books. Some that I pick up to just read anywhere. It's helped me find my voice and it's helped me grow as a writer (at least I think it has)

14) Can you share some of your strategies for editing and revising your work?

I do small edits as I go but nothing major. If a line sticks out that I really don't like then I usually tinker with it before I move on. I think that's not good advice in general but it bothers me too much to ignore. But if you do edit as you go, there's a lot less to polish in the final editing stages.

15) Which is worse: making the summary, picking the tags, or the anxiety when you post your fic?

I hate making the summary. I don't even know what the fic is about, how the hell am I supposed to tell other people?

16) How do you define success for your fanfic - hits? Kudos? Comments? Bookmarks? Or just if you like it?

I feel like my writing is very selfish in a way. They are stories that I want to read and I get enjoyment out of writing them. So every kind comment I get, there's always a sense of wonder because it's so strange that someone else is interested. I truly do cherish every comment and there are many I like to revisit when I'm not feeling so confident in my writing.

17) Do you have a playlist for your favorite character/ship?

I usually make a playlist for each multi-chapter fic. Some fic ideas get their start as a playlist. Please someone ask me about them, I have so many.

18) If fan art was going to be made from your work, which fic would you pick and which fan artist would you like to create it?

I have been very blessed that people have made fan art of my work and I'm still in awe. I could never even begin to describe how touched and honored I am that anybody did that. One of the pieces has been my computer background for ages. It's not an exaggeration that I cherish every single piece. I honestly don't think I could ever adequately describe how much it means to me.

19) How many WIPs do you currently have?

For Supercorp I have 15+ I do plan on actually posting them in the new year.

20) What's your advice to new fanfic writers?

I would say to write for yourself first and foremost. Sharing your art or your writing or even your head canons or ideas takes a lot of courage. It's scary to put something out there that means so much to you. I'd also advise not to get too hung up on hits/kudos/comments etc. I can't say don't look at them because I'd be a hypocrite but I would say to focus on the journey rather than the destination.

- - - - -

tagging (respectfully and without pressure) @fazedlight @autisticlenaluthor @rustingcat

#ask game #writing #oh this was fun

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huntinclowns2024 · 8 months ago

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Following our inquiry, we discovered that Melissa May Farrington, an American, is the owner of the troll account Clown Hunter, which has the @Clown22500580 handle and targets black individuals and minorities. An elderly white woman runs who runs the clown troll account was born in 1956.

Farrington has assumed the identity of a predator for her troll account. A monster that resembles a clown. She has a very large nose in real life that resembles a vacuum cleaner. Suggesting that AI was utilized to synchronize her real face with the clown's.

A social media post that we came across claims that she used to be a Betty Boop impersonator in her younger years. As of 2020 she is a clown and lives in a circus tent according to her bio on social media.

She might delete her hate account but we have archived it and most of her posts.

It is said on her anonymous troll account that she is an attack dog. She lacks intelligence because she most likely didn't know that pestering others online could have negative effects. Most likely, May Farrington is a narcissist. Because of her narcissistic nature, she is likely to believe herself to be the victim when she learns that she has been unmasked.

She is hardly a victim because, in actuality, she has been intimidating others on social media for the entire time. Like she's got the right to. however, she was unaware that she had left a digital paper trail.

Although Farrington is from Tacoma, Washington, she poses as British and uses a fake British persona. This is a symptom of Asperger's or autism. People who have those conditions usually do not harass people online.

Upon investigating, we discovered that someone Farrington had bullied online had claimed that Farrington suffers from Asperger's condition. That still does not justify what Farrington does on social media.

MissMay03, LadyMay, and MissMay03US are the troll's other aliases.

https://www.youtube.com/@missmay03ushttps://www.flickr.com/photos/missmay03/

We are merely alerting. In order for people who have been targeted to know who is behind the account. So if she harasses or bullies someone under the guise of anon, people can face her directly.

Farrington has harassed more than 100 people on social media, but she hasn't singled out one person. This is a result of no one finding out what she has to say. Rather, she made the decision to turn into a troll and spread hate. This is a meant to be an intelligent individual. It appears that she is not a particularly kind person.

We made the decision to identify the owner of this hate account. A white American woman in digital blackface is the person behind the clown troll account.

She frequently cites her non-white ethnicity as an explanation. She is obviously a white woman, though. Additionally, she makes fun of her employment by claiming that her employer will never be aware of her social media activity. She works for a company as a writer but is also self employed.

Since the troll had been harassing individuals for more than three years under the alias, we decided to get all of her information in order to identify who she was. She uses numerous social media accounts. She possesses more than only Clown Hunter. We thus tracked her online whereabouts.

She foolishly used her own identity in the email she used to harass individuals. We used third-party search engines to perform a reverse search. And during a search, she surfaced. Regarding this person, some information has already been posted.

At first, we weren't sure if the two people were the same. But it was proven when we noticed that she had posted frequently posted anti Betty Boop posts. Her primary posts consistently express her dislike for Betty Boop's race as a black woman.

Farrington dislikes Betty Boop essentially. Helen Kane, her Facebook profile, is similar to Betty Boop in certain ways. She does not like the other Betty Boop, despite her fondness for the first. She seems to have an interest in a real life Betty Boop.

Farrington hunts for what she thinks are clowns. However people she hunts are random people who have no idea who she is. So she is technically harassing random people that she does not know.

By bothering others, she is attempting to control what they share and what they don't. The majority of people choose to ignore her and go on. She anticipates getting into arguments with strangers on social media. May doesn't seem to have a personal life, a family, or pals.

Farrington never succeeded in her attempts to be a scholar. She went to Technical College at Clover Park.

Her account, now known as X, is used to harass and abuse black people on Twitter. She is a graphic designer with extensive Photoshop knowledge. She writes for Radio Tacoma as well.

She oversees multiple Helen Kane webpages. She assisted by a gang of people who all joined in 2020 to torment others. The individuals are elderly people from in her group.

Farrington is likely mentally ill and paranoid. She would not be hiding if she didn't believe she was at fault.

If anybody has experienced harassment from Tacoma, Washington's May Farrington on any of her troll accounts. Farrington also runs other troll accounts, including several on YouTube. She is insane in addition to being racist.

A thorough background check was conducted on the male and female residents of Farrington's home, and the results were alarming. She ought to think about her own life and the lives of others around her before harassing others.

#betty boop #helen kane #baby esther #baby esther jones #esther jones #tacoma #tacomawashington

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muppetable · 1 year ago

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Happy birthday!!!!!🥳🥳🥳🥳🎊🎊🎊

If you could choose two sanders sides character arcs to focus on for the finale, what would they be and why???

ty!!

hmm logan and remus. i'm totally not biased because they're two of my favorites lmao

so i know with wtit they've already had a little story dedicated to them, but they parallel each other and i think it would make for an interesting story for c!thomas to realize he's pushing them BOTH away.

this was gonna be a short answer but i ended up writing an essay sorry lmao

someone's made a post about it already but logan and remus have so many parallels in their intentions despite having complete opposite methods. i think it would be cool to see that fully realized in the series rather than just an asides episode that displays it less as the parallel and more as "remus fucks everything up for logan". don't get me wrong it was a great episode!! i'm just saying i want to see it explored further.

the parallel is that both remus and logan want c!thomas to take time to work on himself by showing him everything else he could be doing. but the difference in method is that logan is trying to help c!thomas by giving him tasks to do to refocus, while remus is showing him everything that could go wrong to convince him he's not doing great. remus is trying to get him to seek help, while logan is trying to help by himself. it's an interesting way to view it.

but no matter which way could work better- adding stress or lessening it- both remus and logan are being ignored. remus's intrusive thoughts are getting repressed no matter how many times c!thomas is told that's unhealthy, and c!thomas isn't hearing out logan's perspective due to being more emotional than logical. another cool parallel the finale should explore!

also, remus is the only character who's purpose to helping c!thomas hasn't been addressed in the show. each side has their way of being helpful and harmful, and it seems like only the fandom knows remus is also trying to help while c!thomas doesn't.

here's the list of harmful traits that have been mentioned in canon:

patton: focuses too deeply on emotion and throws logical thought out the window

roman: ego crisis

logan: too strict on deadlines

virgil: stressing c!thomas out too much

janus: causing distrust among c!thomas's friends by means of deception

remus: causing intrusive thoughts

meanwhile here's the list of HELPFUL traits from each side addressed in canon.

patton: lets c!thomas see the good in everyone

roman: helps c!thomas follow his dreams

logan: seeks knowledge that could be useful to c!thomas (as well as the viewers or writer!thomas)

virgil: keeps c!thomas alert

janus: self care king

remus:

radio silence. literally no helpful traits have been addressed for remus, despite them being clear to someone like me who analyzes too deeply. he IS trying to help c!thomas by reminding him things could be worse, but instead of taking a "count your blessings" approach, he's taking a "hey look how fucked up this would be" approach.

while remus's purpose hasn't been realized and is useful, logans IS realized and useful but c!thomas just doesn't listen. the biggest difference between the two isn't their method- it's the way c!thomas is ignorant to them. he ignores logan's helpfulness and just isn't aware of remus's.

i don't know how this ended up being so long but i just really want to see these parallels and contrasting stories addressed rather than played off as "haha remus makes rube goldberg machines to piss off logan teehee how silly of him!"

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #logan sanders #remus sanders #tss #sasi #tss analysis #sanders sides analysis #ts sides #logan's askbox #logan rambles

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deepspacedukat · 2 years ago

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Do the writers of reader story hate romulan women or alien women?Why the reader is always human? Star Wars fandom has more diversity, reader can be alien. This is not a hating ask, i want to understand this gap between fandom. I get it reader is a self-insert except sometimes people really feel close from some fictive alien and it's ok, they are supposed to be mirro

Hi, Nonny. For a 'non-hating' ask, this still sounds kind of hostile. But whatever. I'll ignore the tone and answer you the same way I would answer literally anyone else.

It's a long answer, but this time I'm not putting a readmore. My answer is my own and does not reflect the opinions of any other writers here.

I do, in fact, have a few requests that are drafts (works in progress) where the reader is a non-Human alien species. One has them as a Vulcan, one as a Romulan, and (I believe) one has them as a Cardassian. Of my own works/plot bunnies that I have posted, I have written the reader as a half-Changeling, half-Human.

The majority of my stories do have a Human reader. I'm 1000% aware that the reader doesn't have to be Human. That is, in fact, a thing I know. But. A lot of writers find it easier to write what they know. My experience is one of a Human, so it's easier for me to write for a Human narrator/from a Human's pov. I find it challenging to write from the perspective of a non-Human character. Yes, that includes writing chapters of my multi-chapter fics that are seen from another character's pov (like Koss in "Begin Again" and Letant & Hiren from "Praetor's Pride").

While it can be fun to challenge yourself, I have to be in the mood for certain challenges. When the story I'm writing has a Human character, I have learned how to incorporate that. When it's 2 non-Human characters, they have a whole different frame of reference that's a lot harder to be consistent about. And I have done that, of course ("Blue New Year" - Jorik of Vulcan & Celas Tyrh of Andoria) but it is more difficult.

I suppose that sounds like a cop-out, but when I write fanfiction, it's for fun. Writing fanfiction is a non-paid service that I engage in. For fun. I want to enjoy what I'm writing, not force myself to write what I don't want to like it's a job. Sometimes, I am in the mood to challenge myself that way, and when I am, I'll try to get myself in the right mindset and work on those requests. I'm not always in that mood, though. As with all other forms of art, writing takes inspiration.

However, it should be noted: I do not hate Romulan women. I do not hate alien women of any kind. I don't hate alien men, either. I don't hate aliens or Humans of any gender. As a bisexual woman, I find all of the above attractive. Commander Toreth (a Romulan woman) has my whole heart and soul! Major Kira Nerys (a Bajoran woman) is my wife! Jadzia Dax (a Trill woman) makes me giggle and blush like a brainless dumbass! Talas (an Andorian woman) could pin me against a wall or step on me, and I'd still propose to her!

I DO NOT HATE ALIEN WOMEN. I WILL WRITE ALIEN!READER FICS.

Nonny, if you don't like the current amount of fics in this fandom where the reader is alien instead of Human, there are 2 solutions:

1.) Instead of complaining to a random writer, be part of the solution! Write those fics yourself! Create the fandom content that YOU want to see in world! (Spoiler alert: that's why most fanfic writers are here. We saw a lack of a certain type of story/character/trope in a fandom and decided to fix the problem instead of complaining about it. That's why I'm here. I wanted to read fics about Gul Dukat doing nasty things to a Human, and boom! Here we are like 100 fics later!)

2.) Since you claim the Star Wars fandom has more content where the reader is an alien, then why not go read those fics? I'm really glad you found a fandom that scratches that itch for a non-Human reader for you! (Seriously, I'm honestly glad that you found a thing that makes you happy. Everyone deserves happiness in this life! Small joys like fanfic make these harsh days a little sweeter and more bearable!)

I hope you have a great day and that you have better luck finding the kinds of fics that you enjoy! 💖

#deepspacedukat asks #anon asks #sorry you haven't found what you're looking for #maybe make it yourself like the rest of us did

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coraniaid · 1 year ago

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Scattered thoughts on rewatching Lie To Me:

If you hadn’t already guessed that Drusilla will function as Buffy’s narrative shadow this season, this episode kindly makes it obvious by pulling the exact same trick it used for Cordelia last season and will use again for Faith next season. That is, it tells us that Buffy thinks she's pretty and shows us that she's worried her current boyfriend agrees. For Angel and Drusilla talking in the park while Buffy watches on pensively, you can substitute Cordelia and Owen Thurman dancing in the Bronze in Never Kill A Boy On The First Date or Faith “making eyes at” Scott Hope in Faith, Hope & Trick. (Or, indeed, Cordelia and Angel talking over coffee in last episode’s Halloween or Faith kissing Angel in Enemies.)

Speaking of Angel, I think this episode is the first to really get him as a character. Or at least, the conversation he has with Willow this episode makes him seem self-aware (“A hundred years, just hanging out … I really honed my brooding skills”) in a way that the writers of his show will later lean into heavily and that I don’t really remember seeing before. Similarly for his later annoyance at Xander calling him “dead boy”.

Ford’s lie about killing a vampire is really unnecessary, isn’t it? Why not just say she ran off? She had enough of a head start that Buffy wouldn’t have caught up with her, and it’s not like he’d have been expected to be able to stop her. (Is this meant to be part of Ford “counting on” Buffy figuring out his plan? I’m not sure this part of the plot actually holds up if you think about it too hard, so I won’t.)

As I talked a bit about recurring characters last episode, it’s worth pointing out that this episode introduces one of the Buffyverse’s best minor recurring characters in the form of Anne Steele née Lily née Chantarelle (“it’s an exotic mushroom, if that’s any comfort”). She doesn’t really get to do much this episode, but I’m glad the show brought her back.

I will not comment on how at home the vampire-worshiping members of the Sunset Club would feel among the modern online Buffy fandom. I will not comment on how at home the vampire-worshiping members of the Sunset Club would feel among the modern online Buffy fandom.

Given that he gets name dropped twice but never actually appears on screen, it almost feels like the writers were trying to set “Lucius” up as a recurring minion character (in the way Dalton will later become).

I don’t know how far ahead the season was actually plotted – I’d guess not that far, given that the show never once bothers to set up the Jenny Calendar retcon – but Buffy telling Ford, an older guy that she has or had romantic feelings for and who is going to betray her and align with her enemies Spike and Drusilla, that she “like[s] surprises” certainly feels like it’s on purpose. (On the other hand, the number of times characters in this episode use some variant of the phrase “lie to me” definitely is on purpose, and if anything a little too on the nose.).

“You don’t have a good choice, but you have a choice.”(!!) Hey, look, it’s the message of the whole show.

Boringly uncontroversial opinion alert, but I think this is probably the best episode of Buffy to date. Actually I think last season’s Prophecy Girl is the only episode in the same league so far.

And rewatching it reminds me that I really like Drusilla and wish she’d been in the show for longer. (I think I read somewhere that Juliet Landau was reluctant to come back in later seasons because she was worried her character would be killed off? Which, you know, fair.) Both her opening scene (“I’m not a person, see”) and her attempts at conversation with the dead bird (“I’ll pout if you don’t sing”) in the middle of the episode are really well done.

Also, is it just me, or would the vampire-worshiping members of the Sunset Club feel really at home among -

#btvs #buffy rewatch 2023

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thatshadowgastwhore · 6 months ago

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The hours of sleep deprivation, and how your brain/body interprets them with helpful, objective language for other writers and/or Tim Drake enthusiasts

by me, Mags, aka thatshadowgastwhore, a person who regularly stays up for multiple days at a time and is very self aware, but has no relevant medical degrees.

Disclaimer that I don’t have chronic fatigue/or illness, and my experience isn’t universal. Also, the way caffeine affects me, I’ve found, is not the same most other people have described it to me.

Second disclaimer: you should sleep when you are tired. I just so happen to not really feel tied until I’m awake for around forty hours. You should not push yourself to sleep deprivation regularly for funsises. I know what it’s like to be awake 60+ hours because I used to do so as a coping mechanism that I realized later on was actually a form of self harm!

Hours 1-8

Mostly irrelevant for the discussion at hand. Alertness, awareness, focus, and attention are at their normal levels. Energy levels are consistent. Caffeine consumed at this point does not affect my awareness in any way, only ability to hold focus on a task for longer periods of time and attention to detail.

Hours 9-12

Alertness, awareness, focus, and attention are still at normal levels. Energy is likely the same, unless strenuous activity was done in the first third of the day. At this point, I have been awake for half a day, the majority of which was spent at work. I also do not normally consume food until this time of day, or I have not consumed very much food until this point, so the energy gained from a meal resets energy levels to about where they were hours 4-5. Caffeine consumed at this point has no effect on energy levels, again, just to focus and attention.

Hours 12-18

Very similar to hours 9-12 for me, as someone who regularly misses nights of sleep. For any character whom this is not the case for, this is when tiredness will absolutely set in, if it hasn’t already. Depending on how many hours of sleep you get on the regular, that is when lethargy will become unavoidable without proper stimuli. Pushing yourself past this point isn’t a good idea. If the reason for sleep deprivation is not voluntary or the reason isn’t a fun one, emotions are harder to avoid. Like any baby, your character will be cranky and prone to annoyance.

If you’re like me, this is not the case. Yet. At this point, you’ve hit your second wind; with proper stimuli, these are the most enjoyable hours of your entire extended period awake, productivity is at its height, energy levels are still fairly level. Fluctuations are likely occurring in attention; either details consume you, or they do not matter to you. Caffeine at this point will mostly affect ability to focus, but will start affecting alertness as well to some extent. This is also more accurate to the way this time would affect someone who doesn’t regularly stay awake very long, but is voluntarily staying awake for an exciting reason; New Year’s Eve, a party, a fight, etc. Stimuli are likely high and extremely relevant to the primary motivation for sleep deprivation in such a case.

Hours 18-24

For those who don’t stay awake regularly, (and do not have enough stimuli to keep you energetic/excited) you are so. So. Tired. Ability to focus at this point is nonexistent. Things you should not be doing are: making major life decisions or operating heavy machinery. While you likely feel physically fine, if you’re still trying to accomplish things, they take way longer than usual and the quality isn’t as good. Things that are normally easy take actual effort in a way this is beyond frustrating.

If your character is regularly awake this long, the biggest thing they’ll notice at this point is hunger. We’ve crossed an interval of time in which, during the day, you’d eat another meal. Unlike delaying/skipping meals during the day, they really do need to eat at this point, or the hunger will become painful quickly. Attention to details at this point is starting to slip, but is overall okay. Alertness is declining, but not at an alarming rate. The deck e is gradual at the point. It is at this point that caffeine has some impact to my level of alertness, but still mostly affects ability to focus.

Hours 24-40

Unfortunately at this point, I don’t have a great frame of reference for how other people experience these hours awake, so I’ll be continuing just with my perspective of this.

At this point, caffeine does become necessary for me to keep focus on things; without it, during these hours I become incredibly spacey and even more prone to distraction than normal. At this point, lack of sleep has little to no effect on my mood. I am still perfectly capable of driving and my judgement is still sound, although I will concede my bar for emotions is lower than usual. The only physical feeling I would cite at this point is how it affects my appetite. I am hungrier than I would consider usual (for me), UNLESS I consumed caffeine on an empty stomach, in which case my stomach probably hurts, and is making it harder to tell that I am hungry.

Hours 40-44

I can comfortably remain awake without feeling tired for 40 hours. This is the first point that I will start to feel tired. My mood is absolutely affected at this point, things that are mildly annoying become incredibly frustrating and things that are kinda funny are incredibly silly. I also begin to lose my filter, things that are normally inside thoughts/observations become things that I have to tell someone Right Now. My best friend had received enough unhinged rants about ridiculous things, that if it is at a certain time, she might ask, “how long have you been awake” as a relevant follow up question. I desribe this time as “loopy hours,” the point at which I have full awareness why I am doing what I am doing, that I am behaving slightly irrationally, and that the reason is because I haven’t slept. It doesn’t mean the silly thoughts aren’t still there, but I know the origin and scope of them. Because of this, I don’t consider this to be when my sense of judgement as being impacted yet, because I can still be logical about my illogical thoughts. What is affected is my sense of alertness and ability to focus, both of which have declined further.

Hours 44-48

At this point, my energy levels take a sharp decline. Caffeine at this point is assisting my energy and alertness more than my ability to focus. These are some of the worst hours if you are voluntarily staying awake (it’s not actually linear the order of badness, surprisingly) because it comes directly after the loopy hours, and you are facing a bit of a crash after that period. Emotions are high. I can start to feel trapped within my own body. I both detest and long for sleep. I know that if I let myself lay down, I will inevitably pass out, but I can’t because I know I’ll be so dead to the world that I won’t hear my alarm and I’ll miss work (which is why I only allow myself to not sleep for more than 40 hours starting on a Thursday morning, so I can tap out at this point if I need to) I’m hungry again in the middle of the night, and I am very, very tired. But. With enough stimulants (for me, caffeine) and enough stimuli, I can remain awake past this point. This is the hump that needs to be passed. If you can stay awake 48 hours, you can stay awake 60 hours.

The best stimuli for keeping mental awake was and focus are other people and movement. Staying still is a recipe for closing your eyes, and closing your eyes is a recipe for accidentally falling asleep. If you can stay around other people who are awake and aware, and if you are doing anything that requires movement (not slow and repetitive movement, obviously, remember you are a cranky baby, so not rock yourself to sleep) your chances of staying awake are better.

Anything that gives you a sense of adrenaline at any point hereafter is going to make you even more tired than expected as soon as it wears off, so if your character has been doing anything high stakes and is just now calming down, they are going to pass out the MOMENT they feel safe enough to. It’s kinda inevitable, which is why I consider loud, sudden noises to be some of the worst things to try to use to keep yourself awake.

Hours 48-56

The gradual decline from that started eight hours ago becomes steeper during this time. My sense of judgement is not good, I am liable to consider truly ridiculous ideas as entirely serious enterprises. I should not operate a motor vehicle, but with enough caffeine I am able to if absolute need be. I need to be consuming caffeine and be around people and not be staying sedentary for more than an hour at a time. I am lethargic as all get out. I want to sleep so badly. My attention span is shot.

Hour 56-60

At around hour 60, normal auditory hallucinations (for me. I am aware most people don’t have “normal auditory hallucinations”) are annoying loud, and I experience visual hallucinations, at which point I generally refuse to operate any heavy machinery/drive.

I cannot emphasize enough: my sense of judgement is not good when I am this sleep deprived, ESPECIALLY for my own limits and abilities. I have a notable propensity to misjudge how much work I can take on, and make plans doomed to failure from the start when awake this long. I gain the confidence of someone staring at a piece in a museum and saying, “pfft, I could paint that,” but then actually going out; spending to much on art supplies, trying and failing immediately, (obviously) and becoming so overwhelmed in disappointment that they vow to never paint again, and now they’ve wasted money on all these abandoned paint supplies.

This is a time similar to the loopy hours, but less fun. I call them the delusional hours. Physically, your eyes are so tired that you feel constantly dehydrated. You start to space out and lose visual focus quicker. You probably are hearing a ringing sound just from how badly your brain is blue screening.

Hour 60+

Everything experienced in the previous two intervals gets worse. Time slows down. I’m probably quite cold (I generally have poor circulation, so I don’t usually notice being cold at this point, so I find this significant.) My awareness outside of my own body is almost gone, and my ability to focus is nonexistent. I am probably shaking. I feel physically ill, probably nauseous. My chest is tight due to the amount of caffeine I’ve had to consume. I am so beyond exhausted that I could fall asleep standing up. My emotions are out of my control. I will cry over anything. I will laugh hysterically over anything. Time slows down. I’m in control of the time stream, no….Im outside of the time steam (delusions that start mild and become worse over time.)

At this point, your character’s motivation for staying awake this long better be pretty damn good. The longest a human has ever stayed awake for is about eleven days, but as listed above, symptoms of psychosis will set in by about 72 hours, so remaining focused on that goal will start to prove difficult.

And thats it! I haven’t stayed awake longer than 79 hours so that’s where my experience ends, but I’m hoping that my objectivity on what this feels like both mentally and physically helps someone with writing a character who definitely should go to bed soon.

#writing #writing reference #sleep deprivation #tim drake core #Tim Drake

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deanstudies101 · 6 months ago

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3x10, Dream a Little Dream of Me

[Pivotal Dean Studies scene alert]

Critical theory: Nightmares, father figures, and ‘what we deserve.’ Self-worth and sense of self.

Discussion question(s): How do John and Bobby compare as father figures, and subsequently how do Sam and Dean deal with nearly losing Bobby vs. losing John? We once again see Dean killing a version of himself—compare this with 1x06 Skin. What is gained by this repeated mirror? What do we learn about Dean’s sense of self and self-worth? Is this version more visceral than Skin? Why or why not? Daddy’s blunt instrument.

Key quotes: Sam, “No one can save you because you don’t want to be saved.”; The Dean/dream Dean sequence in its entirety.

Discussion:

So proud of our boy.

The subtext is just text.

There is little to say. Because it was all said.

Impressed, because they didn’t expect it to happen/happen this soon. ‘This’ being; my dad’s a dick, it wasn’t fair, looking after Sam shouldn’t have been my job. He’s more self-aware than we thought. Everything we’ve been saying in these discussions, they just. Said.

Re: Skin. This one is more conceptually visceral, if not visually. That is actually himself, or a part of himself, that he did just kill. Especially as it is a potential future of himself, his fears about what his future will be. On the other hand, the shifter did take on his memories and history etc. Is this one more powerful just because it’s further along, because of Dean’s situation (going to hell)? Dean’s retaliation in Skin comes from a place of self-hatred, whereas this is coming from a place of self-love—he doesn’t want to die. He is killing his self-saboteur.

Father figures. Bobby is better. He isn’t perfect, but he does care about them. Dean calls John an obsessed bastard in this episode, and we know Bobby isn’t in the same way, so they don’t suffer from that. John kept his hunting separate from the boys, perhaps, it was John hunting alone, and then the boys hunting alone. He sent them away, gave them orders etc. Whereas with Bobby, they show up to help out and he lets them, he shows up to help them all the time. Whenever they need answers, he’s the one they go to. John left them in the dark. Bobby’s backstory is similar to John’s (perhaps worse, he killed Karen), and yet they are so different. He is softer than Bobby, he has friendships with other hunters, whereas John was a loner. All of the hunters lost something, John was just a dick. You can be a hunter and still have a community. Dean can talk to Bobby about what he saw about his wife. We see in ep. 8 that the boys were never allowed to talk about Mary. Of course this came from John.

Notes: We want to kiss him. Iga’s face during The Scene was incredible. Kai, “It’s wild that the writers know Dean almost as well as we do.”

#supernatural #3x10 #spn 3x10 #dream a little dream of me #class notes

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doggernaut · 7 months ago

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20 questions for fic writers

Thank you to @cricketnationrise and @the-lincyclopedia for the tags! I'm not sure if many of my answers have changed since the last time I did one of these, but it's been a while, so.

How many works do you have on ao3?

What's your total ao3 word count?

613,109

What fandoms do you write for?

I only have works for Check, Please! on ao3, but I have also written for Parks and Recreation and Baby-Sitters Club.

Top five fics by kudos:

All I Want is You

Just Jack

Here Comes the Sun

I Only Have Pies for You (honestly surprised this one is in the top 5!)

And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?

Do you respond to comments?

I try to respond to every comment, but sometimes I fall short. I do appreciate every single one, though!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm pretty sure that anybody who's read my stories knows I only write happy endings. Even if there is angst at some point in the fic, you can count on that "angst with a happy ending" tag.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

lol, see above. Though I will maintain that And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here? and And you may say to yourself, my god, what have I done? might be the happiest simply because they each have (spoiler alert) three happy endings.

Do you get hate on fics?

I'm sure there are people who don't love my writing for whatever reason, but fortunately they've kept it to themselves.

Do you write smut?

Any attempts have probably fallen short of being actual smut. It's not my favorite thing to write (so many body parts to describe and keep track of!) but sometimes the storyline dictates it.

Craziest crossover:

I'm not generally a fan of crossovers (though I've read some great ones in various fandoms!) and have never written a true crossover, but Pucks and Recreation was inspired by Parks and Recreation.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A BSC fic with a bunch of people from the old FameTracker (I am showing my age) forums. It is (or was, last time I looked a few years ago) on FF.net. Once I randomly saw somebody somewhere online describing the fic in question but thinking it was a real BSC book they'd read, so that was pretty cool.

All time favorite ship?

Jack/Bitty, Ben/Leslie, and let's go way back to my formative grumpy/sunshine ship: Jack and Jennifer from Days of Our Lives. It imprinted on me when I was 11 and I'm probably remembering it as being better than it was, but it was a good time.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

At this point, I really don't know. I have a lot of "WIPs" that consist of a couple of paragraphs of dialogue or bullet-point lists or whatever and who knows if I'll ever dust them off. But I'm currently making an effort to finish everything I've put serious time into.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Description.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

As a reader I don't have a problem with it if it makes sense for the story. As a writer I probably wouldn't, simply because I don't speak another language well enough to incorporate it.

First fandom you wrote in?

That I actually published online? The Baby-Sitters Club, in like 2005. Ever? I went through this phase of writing self-insert fics when I was in sixth grade. Usually they involved me dating whichever character was played by an actor I had a crush on. I was not aware I was writing fanfic at this time. I'm pretty sure I wrote a fic in which I was in a band with Doogie Howser, MD and he asked me to be his girlfriend? THANK GOODNESS this was in an era before I had access to a computer with internet.

(A year or so later, I was still writing, but it was very bad romance fiction modeled after all the Harlequin romance novels I was reading at the time. Still just as cringe. My middle school BFF used to read them and write praise/critiques in the margins and I still remember this one long back-and-forth where we argued about how long a first kiss should last, because neither of us had experience in that department.)

Favorite fic you've written?

I don't know! I love all my children. Truthfully it's probably one of my multi-chapter fics, but I tend to favor whichever I'm in the mood to read at the moment. Maybe today it's Home Like Apple Pie.

#20 questions #fic

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