#wrestling wank

[jeyuwuso]

If they start this Jey/Rhea shit again I swan to john

[selamat-linting]

im just a fan but i dont think wrestlers should take advice about how to make it more real from a guy who despite working in the business, still feels unbelievably proud of the title the bookers set up for him to have to the point that he kept a photo collection of it as if he won it from a real competition then threw a tantrum when hes supposed to lose. like, he might be a genious but hes already too deep in the self-mark sauce for anyone to take serious career advice from.

[render-bomb]

Sun is directly on my face so have to watch the matches back but adamjf are tag champs and yet Adam left without mjf 😭

Also couldn't bring myself to boo jack perry not when he looks that good

[jebiknights]

I'm rereading the clone wars novel and remembering the way some anti anakins use the line he has in the book about not regretting the tusken massacre out of context to prove hes a bad person and it always makes me laugh bc im like ah yes hes so reliable about his lack of remorse, just ignore the fact he spends almost the whole chapter having a ptsd flashback to the massacre in the middle of BATTLE and also has a mini spiral about the possibility of falling and about how he doesnt actually seem to like killing very much? even droids? but yes the one line about lacking remorse for something that is very much still affecting him is a reliable and true sentiment about something that only happened like 3 or 4 months before

[tenshiotaku]

For forum user David's take on things.

[marq-lynch]

I've only been a wrestling fan for a few months but I have to say with the nervous flutter about wrestlers lurking on Tumblr and fic sites and other traditionally closed-off fandomy spaces? I get it. On both sides.

But if I was a wrestler with the natural inclinations and curiosity to poke my nose into what people are saying in my industry outside of the dirtsheets, I would get really, really tired of the same six talking points regurgitated over and over on Twitter and Reddit threads arguing about ratings, whether X is washed up, the same fucking wank over and over floating to the top. I say this because I have tried to stick my nose into the wrestling Twitter and Reddit communities a few times as a new fan and it exhausts me already.

So yeah, I can see the appeal as a lurking wrestler on Tumblr for the exact same things we do.

Look at that! HD Gifsets of the matches! Showing off the moments that really made people pop and the moves that were incredible in more than just YouTube clips, filled with tagged commentary.

Oh fun, longer form commentary on where matches might go, pulling together histories of feuds and reigns, lighter hearted debates and shitposts all around.

A tagging system that actually allows some muting once in a while that people sometimes use?

And yes, fic, art, and objectification. Cheers, I have been working very hard on my pecs, my tits did look amazing tonight, thank you for noticing my costume details change.

Yes, we're horny, we're ravenous, we're transing your genders, foaming at the mouth, etc etc. But we've been here doing this for a while. I was doing this shit with a community on LiveJournal for Kayfabe Jon Stewart & "Stephen" Colbert back in 2009 and they knew and played it up for us too.

The weird pervert who is harmless but a good friend trope has gone way down lately, which makes sense given the current climate post #MeToo, but Kenny Omega on Being The Elite was a great example: in a sea of other dick jokes he was the ulti-perv they all still chose to hang out with. We on Tumblr are for the most part not bashing, harassing, haranguing, or spreading misinformation. We're just making art, noticing details, supporting work, and throwing out lewd jokes.

It's entirely up to the wrestling community if they want to hang out with us while we do those things, but it seems pretty clear that that is a vibe a lot of them are comfortable with, and some are happy to dig deeper into the weird shit we're making.

I just see a lot of people getting self-loathing about what they've been posting and I wanted to offer a different perspective. I've seen actors lose their minds being delighted at body pillows of themselves or mousepads of their supple tits. Adults are all different and none of this should be forced on anyone at conventions or tagged at them etc, but if they seek it out and like it? Well then, welcome to the Devil's Sacrament. Have fun, and personally I'm glad Tumblr is also your happy escape space.

[bridenore]

HD eight year fic recs : 10k to 20k words

Here are a few drarry eight year fic recs that are between 10k and 20k words. Posted in alphabetical order, as always.

All the Sense in the World by @l0vegl0wsinthedark [10k]

He had absolutely no idea what was about to happen. Maybe Malfoy would kick him in the face. Maybe he’d scream loud enough that the whole school would rush in and see him lying there between Malfoy’s legs with his cock rock hard. Maybe he’d hex Harry’s rock hard cock off. Hell, maybe Harry’d wake in his own bed in a few minutes with a rock hard cock and would never again be able to look at Malfoy without sprouting an instant hard-on. Or maybe he and Malfoy would have sex.

All Your Stars In View by @alpha-exodus [18k]

Life after the war is difficult for Harry, especially when the only thing that makes him feel better is, oddly enough, being around Malfoy. So when Malfoy asks to paint his portrait, Harry can’t refuse, even if it means baring himself in more ways than one.

Deep Waters by @huldrejenta  [13k]

Back at Hogwarts, eighth year turns out to be just as miserable as Draco had suspected. Struggling with post-war apathy, he tries to find something positive he can do for himself. Like secretly learning how to swim in the Great Lake. Only things don’t go as planned when Potter somehow finds out.

Dreaming of Harry by @writcraft [11k]

The first night Draco Malfoy dreams of Harry Potter, everything changes.

Famished by LadyGaGalion [10k]

Draco thought his life couldn’t get any worse. He was wrong. Now Harry Potter’s stuck to his arm.

He Was a Skater Boy by @m0srael [19k]

Harry Potter intends to spend his eighth year at Hogwarts avoiding the endless stares, whispers, and nosy questions that never seem to leave him be. He wants nothing more than to hide in the quiet solitude of his dorm room, keep his head down, and wallow in his grief. At least, that’s his plan right up until the moment Draco Malfoy kick-flips his life upside down.

Hold Close Your Heart and Take the Leap by  @dracogotgame  [19k]

Draco knows he needs to tell Potter their lives are about to change forever. But ‘knowing’ and ‘doing’ are two very different things. 

Hung Like a Hippogriff by Magnolia822 [16k]

After Dean Thomas catches Malfoy wanking and tells everyone about his giant cock, Harry can’t stop thinking about it. Not because he’s attracted to Malfoy, mind, but because he’s concerned Malfoy is up to something. Er … 

In the Interest of Interhouse Cooperation by @firethesound [11k]

Organizing a Duelling Club was supposed to be a fun extracurricular activity for Harry’s 8th year. But add in Draco Malfoy and a malfunctioning Room of Requirement, and things can’t help but get complicated. 

‘Ohana by plumeria47 [11k]

It started off so simple: sex whenever they wanted it, with no further expectations.  But life has a funny way of turning everything up on its head.

Pure Imagination by @aibidil [14k]

An eighth-year tale of depressed happiness, reluctant imagination, and conflicted hope. And skateboarding.

The Room that Changed Everything by @multiverse-of-fanfic [18k]

When a sabotaged potion lands Harry and Draco in detention, Harry must wrestle with two uncomfortable truths: One, Malfoy the nemesis no longer exists. And Two, Harry is embarrassingly attracted to him. With the war behind them, can Harry and Malfoy build something from the ashes, or are they doomed to be enemies forever?

Said and Unsaid (or, The Value of Knowing When to Stop Talking) by bryoneybrynn [14k]

When the Interrogator asked if he had anything to say on his own behalf, Draco shook his head, his lips pressed tight in a thin line. There was nothing to say that wouldn’t sound like an excuse.

Say It Out Loud by @pheaphilus [11k]

Eighth year was bollocks, as far as Draco could tell.

Sex and the Art of Castle Maintenance  by birdsofshore [14k]

“Come on, boys,” Zabini drawled. “You’re only delaying the inevitable.” Trouble always had a way of finding Harry, and eighth year was obviously going to be no exception.

so scarlet it was by Olena [19k]

Draco’s back for his Eighth Year as part of his parole. He’s doing his best not to annoy any war heroes and avoid Harry Potter as if his life depends on it. Too bad Harry has other ideas.

The Slytherin Host Club by shushu_yaoi_lj / @orange-peony​ [14k]

Harry is simply looking for a quiet place to finish his Potions essay. It’s a pity he ends up at the Slytherin Host Club instead. Or maybe it’s a blessing in disguise, since he’s had a secret crush on Malfoy for a while…

Through the Looking Glass and What Draco Found There by @magpiefngrl [17k]

Draco discovers the Mirror of Erised is a portal and he enters an alternate reality where your deepest  desires come true. Or how Draco found himself in the world of his dreams and Potter had to come and ruin it.

Truffles, Noble Lord of the Sky by megyal [10k]

Fuck fairies; and Longbottom, too.

Truths, Dares, and Love Affairs by @ronbinary [17k]

NEWTs are approaching, Mind Healing is mandatory, and something is wrong with the castle. And then, there’s Potter.

Tug-O-Want by @dysonrules [16k]

Harry is back at Hogwarts minding his own business when he finds himself magically drawn to Draco Malfoy. Over and over again.

Twice as Much as an Earthquake by @firethesound [18k]

Accidental bonding. Breaking and entering. Conspiring, however unwillingly, in the strange one-man war Malfoy’s waging against detention. This isn’t the normal school year Harry anticipated having, but at least it’s not boring. 

I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!

[leclercskiesahead]

“If you woke up as your teammate one morning, what would be the first thing you would do as him?”

“I know what you would do, which is postpone the alarm. You are such a sleepy guy…”

…

His alarm rings and he blindly reaches for his phone out of habit, brain not even fully awake.

His hand doesn’t find the phone immediately as the ringtone begins to annoy him in his dream, and he grabs desperately to turn it off.

“Mate.”

He must have rolled to one side in his sleep. The bedstand feels further than he remembers, his hand smacking the softness of the sheets and pillows instead.

“Oi, cabron.”

Carlos sounds a bit strange in his dream. And dares to smack his hand before grabbing it.

Oh, they must have swapped sides during the night somehow. No wonder he can’t reach his phone. He must have been grabbing Carlos’ face.

Charles groans as he wrestles his hand from Carlos’ grip. It doesn’t take much of a fight since they are both barely awake, and as soon as it is free he throws his arm over his eyes.

His hairy arm.

Hadn’t he shaved recently? Or maybe it was his hair getting too long.

“Mate, what the fuck.”

Carlos’ voice - the speech is like Carlos’ but the voice doesn’t quite sound like his, not as deep and accent garbled with something else - is what makes Charles finally blink open his eyes.

What the fuck indeed.

Charles jerks up and barely catches himself with his arm - a very tan, very hairy arm - as he stares at his own body sitting up next to him.

They had not switched places during the night. Or they had. Kind of. Not really.

“Fuck,” Charles echoes, voice deeper than he’s ever been able to reach. He slowly feels himself down, the body that is so familiar to him yet unfamiliar from this perspective.

“Mate…” he mutters, and looks up again. He is — Carlos, in his body, is staring at him, at Charles, in Carlos’ body. Carlos’ body that Charles - as Carlos - had just ran his hands over. Oh. Charles realised how it looked.

Carlos - because even wearing Charles’ face and having Charles’ voice, he is still Carlos - holds his gaze. And somehow Carlos still manages to put the force of his deep dark stare behind Charles’ lighter eyes. Charles watches, entrapped, as Carlos’ - his - hand slowly trails down, past the loose blanket that falls aside, and carefully wraps around his cock.

Oh, is that how he looks when…

Carlos - as Charles - blinks and also turns to stare at the length in his fist. He pauses and frowns.

“If I wank now am I giving you or myself a wank?”

Leave it to Carlos to think about these things and make them both have a crisis.

Fortunately, Charles doesn’t think much. Especially not this early in the morning. His - Carlos’ - hands move before he knows it, grabbing his own and Carlos’ - or Carlos’ and his own - members.

“Now it doesn’t matter,” he says.

It never does when their bodies are pressed so close he loses all sense of where he ends and Carlos begins anyway.

[randomthefox]

https://randomthefox.tumblr.com/post/777008711385350144/the-matching-knuckles-strength-part-is-so

"And second of all, a female character who Matches Knuckles In Strength ALREADY EXISTS in the form of ROUGE THE BAT (and probably Blaze). Why are you giving that to Amy when Rouge is RIGHT FUCKING THERE?"

Because most of her fans don't actually care about female representation or giving the girls of the Sonic series justice. They just wanna wank their favorite to high heaven by forcefully rewriting every aspect of the franchise to bend around the character they like most.

So basically, they're the same as every other Sonic fan that's biased towards certain characters. but they do this extra annoying thing where they act like they're engaging in a political movement of some kind.

It's also that stupid fandom thing where, for some reason, everybody thinks a character is "wasted" unless they can beat everyone up, regardless of context, or if it matches the purpose of the character.

The Singles Awareness Day version of shipping wars lol

Gotta turn the characters who ain't my OTP into bitches and idiots to make my golden child look good~!

Man I just really want someone to make fanart of Amy and Knuckles having an arm wrestling contest and Knuckles just slams her through a fucking wall. And shouts "that's for smacking me into that tree at Sonic's birthday party, pinkie!" That would actually be canon compliant.

[miriani-lavellan]

Snippet - Grocery Shopping 🖋️

Rook and Lucanis get coffee before heading home after a shopping trip, and spy something extremely inappropriate happening from their perch on the balcony.

︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽♖︽︾︽︾︽︾︽︾︽

They stood contentedly on the balcony overlooking the café, their cups balanced on the side, watching the comings and goings of a sunny mid-morning which seemed to make everything glint in the light, and to cast the hues of marble and limestone buildings in pale gold and lavender. Each morning like this, he thought, was something akin to a blessing. The simple privilege of freedom in a place he loved, sampled via way of the wonderfully mundane, bags straining with produce at their feet, and their list of items carefully crossed off.

Not that there was anything mundane about Rook's company. He surprised himself at how easily he was brought to laughter when she was around, at how often he snorted with humour, and shook his head at her good-natured jokes, quips, and teasing. No-one had ever teased him quite like that. Illario could be good-natured, yes, but his teasing often held a tone of something underneath, a hum of discontent, the very pale edge of frustration. Teia could, perhaps, but then she teased everyone and always for a purpose - he thought now that when she had made her comment about his 'soft heart' in front of Rook, it was a clever attempt to make him seem a little less threatening in the eyes of an elven woman who regarded someone like Viago with a kind of quiet cautiousness.

Rook, however, seemed to have one purpose in her humorous comments: to set him at ease around her. He understood why. She was a mage of very great power, perhaps the most powerful he had ever seen, and even without his own experiences, she must have faced mage-fear plenty of times before in her travels. He'd have thought her gentle smiles would have eased now he had made it clear he was not uncomfortable in her company - hadn't he? - and that she would lessen her effort to placate both him and his demon. But her manner had never changed, and she had never stopped seeking out his company when he was not strictly needed. It might be pity, he realised, given his situation. Either way, he would take it for as long as it lasted.

"Do you see what I see?" she suddenly asked him, frowning.

He followed her line of sight towards a young couple in the café below, sat in the corner and half hidden by an overgrown trellis. The woman was sipping her drink, the man the same, and he was about to query her interest when he saw the man set his cup down, close his eyes, and breath out very slowly through his nose. Ah.

Rook squinted, frowned. And then said, in an outraged whisper as she leaned over the balcony to get a better look:

"Is she wanking him off under the table?"

Lucanis snorted, shaking his head in disapproval as the man bit his lip in pleasure. Rook turned to him, a mixture of glee, outrage, and a little mock horror. He ran his hand over his beard, and tried not to grin as she set her cup down and began to raise her fingers in a motion he knew came right before a casting.

"The fuckin' brazenness of it," she murmured, appalled, "this early in the day. I wouldn't have the balls. I guess she does, though."

"Rook," he breathed, trying very hard not to burst out laughing.

"Should I - ?" she grinned, her eyes lighting up when they met his.

Use her magic to pull one of their chairs out, knock a cup over, to otherwise make a scene. He also knew, now, the incorrigible streak of mischief she had.

"Mierda, Rook, no," he laughed, failing to contain himself and making a grab for her hand before she could follow through. She let out a surprised giggle - adorable - before wrestling her other hand, pressed against the balcony, free from her middle.

"I really think I should just - "

"No," he laughed, grabbing her other hand. "Leave them be, Rook. For everyone else's sake, not theirs."

She was laughing properly now, pulling her hands away, but in a way he knew was half-hearted. She could flip him over this balcony, if she wanted, there was no doubt about that. The dance continued until he finally released her, watching her lovely happy face as she brushed her hair back from her eyes. And then she leaned over the balcony again, and squinted once more.

"Don't watch," he protested in his laughter, shaking his head.

"What?! Am I just supposed to ignore it? I can't unsee them! Besides, I want to see if he finis- ah!"

He took her hood and pulled it down as far as he could over her face, hearing with satisfaction her muffled laughter from underneath. He held it there against her protests for a moment before releasing her, chuckling, and draining the remainder of his coffee to avoid the eye contact with her afterwards.

"Come on," he murmured, setting his cup down and picking up his bags. "We should be getting back."

"Guess we'll never know the ending," she said cheerfully, as she picked up her own.

'Good. Strong. Happy?'

He ignored the little voice in his head, feeling a spark of irritation at the interruption. Spite made an annoyed noise; that too was ignored, as Lucanis focused on Rook, humming quietly and swinging her bags.

"Teia and Viago have split up again," Rook informed him, as they turned back towards the Diamond.

"Unsurprising," he replied, wondering when she noticed this. Probably Teia had told her - he suspected they chatted about far more than Antaam movements when they were together.

"I like how she dumps him, every now and again. Is that part of their… thing? It must be, right?"

"Part of their… thing? I have absolutely no idea."

"Mm, like, forbidden romance. The excitement of doing something you shouldn't. Although, it could also be that Viago is so supremely irritating Teia just needs a break every now and again."

"He's not that bad, you know. Does she seem sad?"

"Not telling. Sworn to secrecy. I wish I wasn't, though. It's so juicy."

He snorts. "Alright. You like romances?"

"What, like books?"

"Sure."

"Well, I don't really read."

Ah. Mierda. Always, he was doing this. Putting his damn foot in it, ruining the conversation with his lack of grace. Of course Rook didn't read, she grew up as an elf in Tevinter. She was a little awkward around Neve, she was… a different person, in Minrathous. And when she did get a letter, some communication, he saw her running her fingers underneath the letters, mouthing the words silently with a slight frown of concentration on her face. Didn't she mention a teacher of hers in Rivain? Rivain, where it was clear she had ended up after a lifetime he knows nothing about. He knew, though, what she must have been. Why was he always doing this?

'Idiot,' interjected Spite. 'Weakening.'

"Ay," she said, poking him with her staff. "Stop panicking."

"I wasn't."

"Were."

He laughed.

'Better. Rook kisses, later?'

"You don't have to be so afraid of pissing me off, you know."

"I'm not."

"Then what?"

"Nothing."

"Maker," she said, laughing. A little exasperated. "Fine, whatever. Anyway, I told you some Crow gossip. It's your turn, now."

"For Crow gossip?"

"Any gossip."

"I don't talk to people of their private affairs, as you do."

"Is that judgement?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

He grinned. "Yes."

"You should."

"Judge you?"

"Gossip more!"

He laughed. "I'll bear it in mind."

[gaypiratebrainrot]

Hi! I have a question about wfu and specifically about the tags. I'm among those who have always read it exclusively as rpf (and I'm completely okay with it) and I was curious about what prompted you to tag it also as stede/ed. Was it just because of the names swapping? Or was it a choice to make it all meta-ish? I find it super interesting either way, and the fic itself is amazing

hi! thank you so much for this question and your kind words!

"is this rpf?" was always a central question of wfu, and one that i wrestled with a lot on my own while writing it. an intended part of the thought experiment was to publish it in a way where "is this rpf?" remained an open question for the reader to answer for themselves. my first beta had a strong knee-jerk reaction that the text was rpf, like, as early as the scene where they're having drinks on the back porch, leaving comments like "this is definitely rpf". at that point, i actually made a second doc where i swapped the names back and considered publishing it as regular rpf. instead, at the encouragement of my beta, i added two small additional meta scenes to the stede/ed version (the conversation with jim, wee john, and frenchie at the party, and then the bit at ed's house when ed and stede are crying on the couch and ed brings up fan fiction again), and gave that to a second beta.

my second beta had a strong knee-jerk reaction in the other direction, to the point where they didn't even think i needed to tag it rhys/taika. that was when i knew the thought experiment was going to work--it wasn't that either beta was right or wrong, but that every reader was going to have their own unique reaction to the text and whether it was rpf, an actor au, or some secret third thing. it was an extremely cool moment in my life and i will never forget it.

i decided to tag it as stede/ed, rhys/taika, RPF, and Actor AU, because i suspected as long as i did not definitively say what it was, there would be readers who would read it as just rpf or just an actor au. and this is exactly what happened, and continues to happen; there is a pretty wild diversity of interpretations and justifications for why wfu reads exclusively as either rpf or an au, in addition to everyone experiencing some secret third thing. it's really beautiful and i think there's a lot to be learned about how different people engage with and negotiate the relationship between fiction and reality.

and then there's also just the readers-finding-it-on-ao3 factor of tagging a fic: lots of people who never read rhys/taika love wfu as a stede/ed fic, and also if you love rhys/taika, you'd probably be happy to stumble across wfu in the rhys/taika tag. of course, there was also a small twitter wank when i published it from a few people who, it seems, did not engage with anything else about the fic beyond seeing the rpf tag and strapping into their moral superiority outrage pants. this too was beautiful, because what lovely experimental evidence of what incurious, reactionary morality will lead you to miss about all the vast murky gray of the world.

[scoobydoodean]

links to all the crit dramas? plz? pretty pretty plz? with plzes on top?

Bestie that is a BIG ask and I did not keep up with all the links for all of these (nor would it be feasible to link all of the wank that happened in some cases, and I think in other cases, it would be poor form). But here’s a rundown in (to the best of my memory) chronological order.

Poor wet cat failed pacifists Cas

I think this one may have more context than I know—it's a fairly common motif anyway and has been for years. But the disk horse was reignited at some point because Courtney Queermania said that Dean is, in fact, willing to be inconvenienced by Cas. This did not sit well with anti-dean destiels, who went on the post to tell Courtney they are wrong about everything because *looks at notes* Cas was dedicated to pacifism and Dean forced him to be an evil killer or some other made up nonsense. Dean also forced Cas to fall from heaven and poor bumbling billion year old baby Cas can't even take a shit without Dean's say so, so everything is always Dean's fault and he can't even be grateful and is mean and evil and probably abusive too etc etc. Funny stuff from people who ship Dean and Cas. Btw. Elements of this camp had been sending Courtney hate mail for months before this for daring to post a poll featuring canonical events that occur in the actual show.

Deangirl Uquiz

In April, I made a 50-question True/False uquiz called "How sus do you look to a deanfan (me)?" and said you were sus if you got anything less than like an 80 or something. It was supposed to be a silly, tongue-in-cheek shitpost. I did most of my fandom interaction over on @i-make-fun-of-spn-characters at the time, but intentionally did NOT post this uquiz over there (to a much larger audience) because the uquiz I'd made was meant for a small group of like-minded mutuals and followers who would actually understand the context and find it amusing.

Well. It ended up spreading.

Deancrits got ahold of it and were very very mad that I dared to say things like, "Dean is not largely responsible for Sam and Cas's issues" and "People should have laughed at Dean's jokes more" and "Sam and Cas didn't actually deserve Dean's trust in season 4/6 because they were gaslight gatekeep girlbossing and could not be trusted". They grabbed my uquiz to use like a fleshlight, then discarded it on the ground and cried that it was too big around to suit their tiny wieners.

Deancrits drove their followers to brigade my post and my page. I received hate mail. People spewed venom at me directly. Worst of all, someone I don't give a damn about told me I am not funny. :(((( People pushed and made uquizes to "combat" mine. I spawned countless vagues all over spnblr--some supportive, some spewing venom about deanfans violent hatred (???) for Sam and Cas. Whole mutualships were lost between people I didn't even know over this uquiz. It was nuts out there.

I sexily evaded deancrits with my sexy ways while they chased me through the town square, trying to wrestle me into a hair shirt. I edited the uquiz with some more snark since deancrits made it all about them anyway, and changed my icon to flaming Elmo and probably changed my header to say "@ Deancrits Suck my Ass" or something I don't remember. I think I became genuinely angry at one point for about 5 minutes. After that, I remembered a deancrit casgirl took my 50 question uquiz several times in a row, shitting out their insides with rage the entire time, then posted the screenshot of their 0% to all of their followers like the trophy head of some vanquished beast, letting out a warrior howl of victory. To this day, I could not tell you why they thought this would stick it to me. However, this was so incredibly funny that to this day I still risk pissing myself laughing when I think about it. To get that 0, they also had to call Dean their poor little meow meow btw.

Vegan Sam

Every few years deancrit samgirls start this really funny disk horse about how Dean is an evil food tamperer who doesn’t respect that Sam is a vegan. This, of course, is also a violation of Sam's bodily autonomy (see section below). Victoria Angelsdean dared to make an original post stating that Sam is not, in fact, a vegan and never ever has been one. This made vegan Sam truthers really mad, and it was really funny.

Later on, because Courtney Queermania had been receiving a continuous stream of hate mail from deancrits since February, I had lodged a threat (blackmail) to make a second uquiz of evil and villainy in retaliation should any more hate mail be sent to Courtney. During the "Sam’s Super Special Most Violated Autonomy Stolen Valor" disk horse, I made good on this threat, and featured a question about whether or not Sam is a vegan, which made them mad yet again.

Also this post was fun.

Jesus!Sam

Back in April, tumblr user christ-figure-bracket took it upon themselves to create a poll tournament to determine the ultimate christ figure in fiction. Samgirls have long enjoyed paralleling Sam with Jesus, and nominated him for the tournament. In the first round, Sam was put up against Aslan from The Chronicles of Narnia—literal lion Jesus. Samgirls were determined to bring Sam victory. Much of SPNblr endeavored to assist because it would be funny if Sam won. I was a stick in the mud about it, and gave this as my reasoning:

#i’m sorry I know Sam beating Aslan would be funny but I can’t stand the sam = jesus take #worst thing sam girls ever came up with #and that’s a large hurdle to clear #not even because i have a problem with people wanting to read into things and explore symbolism #it’s because some of them get gigantic heads about it and then act like they’re being persecuted for their beliefs

Lo and behold—they proceeded to prove me right.

Very early on, some samgirls started telling people who voted against Sam to kill themselves, and complaining openly by name about fellow samgirls who didn't support their plight. However, the real trouble started when christ-figure-bracket made it clear in a humorous manner that they would prefer not to have wincest shippers in their notes. Enraged, angry wincest shippers began sending christ-figure-bracket hate mail, and adding wincest fic and art to their posts and sending it in DMs, and saying they were being persecuted for their beliefs. christ-figure-bracket could barely block them fast enough. Samgirls cleverly recollected—from a few hours before—that Sam had been placed against literal lion Jesus in the very first round. This and the wincest shipper blocking clearly implied christ-figure-bracket's barely-concealed hatred for samgirls. They were no impartial moderator—no! They intended to skew the poll to destroy Sam!

Anyway, christ-figure-bracket removed Sam from the entire tournament as a punishment. Sonic the Hedgehog ended up winning the whole thing, btw. Also I thought it was funny that Sam got kicked out so I said so in some tags. I got some absolutely batshit mail about my "unfandom behavior" and how I place myself as some "sane anti bully saint" and then the person pinned a vaguepost on their page about me choosing who to bully and who to baby for like a month.

Jesus!Sam disk horse returned for a part 2 when Courtney Queermania said something like, "Making a t-shape with your arms should be called 'Sammying'" and got this shit in their inbox:

Dean winning the best tits poll

People got really mad that Sam didn't win this. There was also a lot of arguing about "tits" versus "pecs" and whether Sam has good tits or good pecs.

Sam’s Super Special Most Violated Autonomy Stolen Valor

One day, Courtney Queermania dared to say on their own blog, that they were considering whether Sam’s autonomy actually gets violated anymore than anyone else’s, and weren't sure that it does.

This suggestion resulted in a firehose of anonymous hate mail on Courtney's blog, about what a terrible evil person Courtney is for daring to think this, about how Sam is the specialist most autonomy-less adult baby ever to exist, and how deangirls daring to possibly deny this truth or suggest anyone else ever experienced a violation of their autonomy is a violation of samgirls bodily autonomy in of itself.

To be clear, NOT ONCE did any of us go on any samgirl's page to interact with ANY of them in any negative way. And yet, samgirls fully treated all of us as absolutely evil horrible insensitive people who were actually harming them irl by posting things on our own blogs. While their friends spewed absolutely vile hate messages at Courtney, samgirl blogs were making posts about OUR cruelty and how any of us daring to find humor within the onslaught was deeply evil and insensitive toward them. It was literally argued that Samgirls themselves are all super special victims of abuse who all of us (who clearly have never been through anything bad ever) were being insensitive toward. So of course that mode of thinking within the samgirl community encouraged the hate bombing to continue as some justified form of "retaliation" against our cruelty.

Genuinely I think the hate mail on this went on for like 1-2 months. Some really really ugly vile shit was sent mixed in with some really funny shit. Questions were pondered such as, "Wait a minute—how is everyone defining autonomy???" "Is a demon tricking Sam a violation of Sam's autonomy?"" "Do Deangirls just want to give all of Sam's Super Special Traumas to Dean, who has never been through anything, ever?" "How many incidents can PK come up with where Sam violated Dean's autonomy within 3 minutes?" I posted the aforementioned blackmail uquiz, and Courtney gave all of us this incredible baby Sam image that shall live on in infamy (and haunt all of our dreams).

Psychic!Dean or: Sam's stolen valor part 2

I believe it all started when Laura ilarual made a post talking about a funny headcanon they came up with in a discord server, wherein Dean managing to predict the future fairly frequently is actually a display of latent psychic abilities Dean isn't aware he has. Courtney Queermania also joked about it, which is a crime punishable by death, because Courtney (a completely normal, nice person) is actually the devil incarnate according to a variety of hate anons who have targeted them nonstop since February 2023 for literally no fucking reason.

This resulted in this hate mail, and also blended with the general autonomy disk horse that was still going on in Courtney's inbox at the time.

I think what was funny to everyone about Psychic!Dean was how spitting mad it made people for absolutely no reason other than it was somehow perceived as "stolen valor" by samgirls. I started shitposting after that about how Dean can sense hidden rooms. Psychic!Dean has become one of my favorite headcanons since—we're all rather fond of it now.

Gun Safety: A Commentary on pillows and black store clerks

This is two different diskhorses in a trenchcoat that happened with deancrit destiels/casgirls. Once again—me and my friends never went on anyone's page to interact with anyone in a negative way.

This disk horse had two related flavors: is Dean bad and evil and the devil incarnate for 1) sleeping with a gun under his pillow and/or 2) Shooting Jack in the back to get his attention and keep him from strangling a black store clerk to death? Also, are either or both of these things abusive because of... the lack of gun safety?

I suppose you can guess what side deancrit casgirls landed on regarding both of these issues. It was suggested that the sheer possibility that Dean might hurt poor white baby Jack's feefees should trump the life of the innocent black store clerk he was strangling to death in a rage. Naturally.

Regarding the former vein of discourse: Someone got really really mad at Victoria angelsdean and me for making posts on our own blogs that didn't frame Dean as the source of all evil in the world for having a gun under his pillow, and started going through our blogs reblogging things and being an insufferably condescending asshat in tags with a very transparent goal. Among their complaints, were that "The Prisoner" is an incidence of "domestic violence" against Cas, and that Cas shoving his hand into a child's chest to feel for his soul causing him excruciating pain is perfectly fine, but Dean sleeping with a gun under his pillow is *looks at notes* abusive to Jack. Also they thought it was very important to remind all of us that their dad was in the army for some reason.

I was completely unable to take any of this seriously. If you haven't been on my page long, you might not be very familiar with my potty mouth, but it's important here. I've been here a long enough time that I've seen countless kind people get hate bombed by ugly disgusting assholes in this fandom, and this year I simply had enough. Somewhere around the 20th time I saw fellow deangirls get absolutely vile messages from deancrits or obnoxiously condescending reblogs full of nonsense in the year of our lord 2023, I started endeavoring to embarrass them. One way I did this was by equating deancrits who come onto deangirls blogs to police their posts and act like insufferable condescending assholes... with a dude who walks into a men's locker room and immediately whips his dick out. Everyone else is clothed, but this one dude starts running around naked, showing everyone his cock and going "LOOK HOW BIG MY COCK IS. SUCK ON IT" and not only is he being annoying and weird and harassing people—his dick is actually tiny. Basically I began saying, "Stop whipping your dick out on everybody else's blogs, acting like your cock is big and huge and bulging and I need to get down on my knees and suck it. No one is going to suck you tiny cock just because you decided to whip it out."

I used this metaphor with the person who was being a condescending ass on my blog. I promptly got accused of making "violent sexual threats" by one of their friends, and then another one showed up to tell me, "If internet cancellation were real, you would be so cancelled for this." I changed my header to say, “Cancelled by Ligma Balls” and blocked like 6 people and my blog has been blessedly free of deancrit casgirls throwing tantrums and trying to hit me with their babyhands since.

[supernaturalkickparty]

Seeing some fandom wank on shipping this Sunday morning and all I can think of is- its not real. its for fun.

"but the people/actors are real!!" yes, but are they physically being hurt? are they being harmed in any way shape or form? no??? then let people ship what they want.

I may like something you may not like and that's ok. Not everyone will like the same thing.

Plus you curate your own experience here on tumblr dot com. You choose what you want to see.

I post a ton of different things, I also tag everything because I know some mutuals don't want to see whats being posted.

I am also deathly terrified of sharks but i have that tag and variations of the tag blocked because I curate what I want on my blog.

I don't care for Destiel at all, but i have it blacklisted so I wont see it but again, I have mutuals who do ship and post and I'm like 👍because that's their thing. I'm not gonna be ugly and tell them their ship is wrong or anything like that because you're allowed to ship whatever the hell you want.

Just like yes I do ship wincest but I also post and love the gen canon aspect of Sam and Dean because I can separate what I ship from what's actually canon.

Same with rpf, whether is wrestling, actors, whatever, whoever, you ship, just ship them and have fun.

The only time I have an issue with anything is when people force their ships on one another, force their NSFW fics/fanart on the actors, or they harass said actors on validity of a ship.

let fandom spaces stay fun and don't be a dick.

[naritaren]

I have some fandom wank under the cut

I swear wrestling fans who only know Shota as "Mox's son" drive me insane. Shota is out here having a psychosexual feud with his rival and they're more focused on fucking Jungleboy or the Mox association.

The shit happening has a 35 minute video where the two talk about being married and giving banger lines like "I'm his life's greatest treasure". This is the shit ficcers dream of.

But instead we get them calling a 26 year old a kid and woobifying him. Fucking insanity.

[jeyuwuso]

I do not share GoFundMe/donation links for anyone I don't know. Requests in my inbox will be blocked. You can help the people of Palestine by donating to Doctors Without Borders/Médecins Sans Frontières, The Palestinian Children's Relief Fund, and UNICEF.

... My Dawg

Punk

She/her/they cis lesbian

I have a beautiful wife who means the absolute world to me and two cats. I might post about them a lot because I love them just a stupid amount

Into wrasslin, Always Sunny, whump, and fanfic (be warned, I write NSFT whump a good amount, but I'll always tag it)

I'll probably post music I like. It's mostly upsetting mashups and ska. I'm sorry.

Professional ghostwriter/Professional editor; I write and edit romance novels

I write about people getting sad and fucking about it

I have OCs from my own independently published work that I might post about

Jey Uso stan. He's my ride or die. Babby child. He's always right and I got beef with anyone who goes up against him

Jey/Sami and Jey/Roman are my OTPs. I also ship Punk/Cena, Jimmy/Kevin, Hunter/Shawn, Hunter/Seth, any arrangement of the Shield, and early Sami/Kevin

My mom once said I treat boys like kittens and no one has ever called me out so brutally before or since

A fan of the whole Bloodline, Sami Zayn, Judgment Day, Carmella, Charlotte, the entire women's division, Bray Wyatt, Sheamus, Imperium, Seth Rollins, and any super gimmicky or OTT characters (aka the ones that get cut from the Hulu Raws)

I don't have access to live episodes, and my work schedule ebbs and flows. I'm pretty much always late watching stuff

The only people I truly loathe at WWE are Cody and Riddle (WWE stop hiring rapists 2k23 challenge). I'm also not a fan of most wrestling until the mid-'00s (mid-'10s for women's wrestling). I try really hard not to tag anything negative without tagging it! I'll always tag hate with wwe wank

I don't like AEW's more '90s-inspired approach to wrestling, though I do really like a lot of the people over there (former WWE talent and homegrown talent alike! I love Orange Cassidy and Danhausen). If I complain about it, I'll tag it with aew wank

My feelings about CM Punk are complicated. I love CM Punk, but Phil Brookes is a hypocritical, performative bitch who talks a big game while refusing to actually do anything meaningful

I don't really care about wins and losses in wrestling beyond story implications. As long as I find a potential storyline interesting, I'm into it. I'm also very good at reading too much into things