#wrestling wank

[jeyuwuso]

If they start this Jey/Rhea shit again I swan to john

[selamat-linting]

yknow as someone who usually dislike mainstream slop i think i'd be more forgiving of ppl who thinks indie wrestling are inherently more artsy and mature.... if theyre actually right about its virtues. because turns out their idea of adult media is if hazbin hotel were written by 4channers and their idea of artsy is jackass turned up to eleven. the only good thing in it is the queer performers and the occasional comedy matches making fun of heterosexuality. oh, and the kane impostors.

[render-bomb]

Sun is directly on my face so have to watch the matches back but adamjf are tag champs and yet Adam left without mjf 😭

Also couldn't bring myself to boo jack perry not when he looks that good

[jebiknights]

I'm rereading the clone wars novel and remembering the way some anti anakins use the line he has in the book about not regretting the tusken massacre out of context to prove hes a bad person and it always makes me laugh bc im like ah yes hes so reliable about his lack of remorse, just ignore the fact he spends almost the whole chapter having a ptsd flashback to the massacre in the middle of BATTLE and also has a mini spiral about the possibility of falling and about how he doesnt actually seem to like killing very much? even droids? but yes the one line about lacking remorse for something that is very much still affecting him is a reliable and true sentiment about something that only happened like 3 or 4 months before

[octuscle]

Distilled masculinity

Timothy was a twink. There was no other way to put it. He had a flawless soft house, a rosy, soft face, golden curls, hardly any beard growth and virtually no body hair. There were a lot of people who found him incredibly sexy the way he was. He was shagged at least once a day. But he couldn't get close to the men he actually liked, the big, hairy musclemen. He was invisible to them… Completely.

In order to be as close to his idols as possible, he had taken on a temporary job at the gym on campus. Working a bit at reception, tidying up in the evenings… But his favorite task was to collect the towels from the training area in the evening and take them to the laundry. If he was lucky, a few members of the wrestling team had wiped their sweat with them. And then their musk still hung in the cotton. Timothy couldn't get enough of sinking his face into these towels. Before he fed them into the washing machine, he had jerked off into the towels more than once. Especially when he himself had found wank stains in the towels, which unfortunately happened far too rarely for his liking.

At some point, Timothy began not to put the towels that stank the most in the laundry, but to secretly collect them in his own locker in the gym. The stench became more and more overwhelming when he opened the locker… The very idea that he could sink his nose into the dirty towels again made his puny cock hard. But he remained a twink. Nothing to change! Not even through his attempts to work out in the gym himself. Preferably before or after the official opening hours. When other musclemen trained with him, he felt uncomfortable on the one hand because he was such a beanpole. And on the other hand, he had a hard-on that couldn't be hidden. No, if the members of the wrestling team or the football team were anywhere near him, he couldn't train…

Timothy's major was chemistry. If his dream of finally getting close to the big guys wasn't going to come true, he at least wanted to become a successful chemist. His dream was to isolate substances that could turn people like him into people like his idols. But that would remain as much a dream as ever being shagged by the quarterback or the captain of the wrestling team.

After a sleepless night in which he had jerked off more than once, Timothy had an idea. It seemed crazy to him. But he had to try it. He wanted to distill the sweat, the cum, the musk from his towel collection. He wanted a concentrate that he could rub under his armpits. If he didn't look like one of the mountains of muscle, he at least wanted to smell like one… And as the sun slowly rose, he also had an idea of how he could do this… That evening, when he was finally alone again in the gym, he wanted to get straight down to business.

The experimental setup was not easy. Timothy had made something like a funnel out of old plastic boxes in the gym's storeroom and filled it with distilled water. Over and over again. Until it slowly began to drip from the bottom of his funnel. Water that had run through the towels and picked up the delicious scents of dozens of jocks on its way. It was long after midnight when he had collected about a gallon of liquid. She smelled like the towels had smelled. Timothy stuffed them into the washing machine. His boss had long wondered where all the towels disappeared to. Now the stock would be replenished. Timothy took the canister of flavored water and went home. now he wanted to distill the scent. He had bought a still for amateur distillers. But he didn't want to make schnapps. He had other things in mind. Unfortunately, his plan didn't work out. Just as the first oily drops were dripping into his Erlenmeyer flask, there was a bang! And the whole still blew up. Shit, it was 04:00 in the morning. He heard neighbors yelling. Timothy hurriedly grabbed a rag and wiped up the mess on his kitchen floor. And he got a boner. Bigger and harder than ever before. The rag stank! Stank more than any changing room. Every football jersey. Than anything he'd ever smelled. It didn't smell beastly. It smelled like a beast! But Timothy stank too. When the apparatus had exploded, there had been plenty of splashes of the original liquid and the distillate. Timothy went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. His T-shirt was stained. He took it off. And absent-mindedly, he took the cloth he had just used to wipe the floor and rubbed his upper body with it. The smell! He rubbed his face. Damn it! That overwhelming smell! He took the cloth and rubbed his upper body as if it were a washcloth.

Tim grunted. Yeah, the washcloth wasn’t exactly clean. But hell, it was early in the morning, and he was about to hit the gym anyway. Why did he even bother washing up before? Washing was for wimps. Yeah, he was everything but a wimp. He started posing. He liked what he saw. He was in good shape. When the bulking phase ended and he prepped for the next competitions, he'd have to shave his chest hair again. He hated that. But shit, he was too dumb for any other job. Or for college or some crap. And he didn’t want a football career either. Coach kicked him off the team after he banged the quarterback. Hehehe, it was worth it. But now he wasn't gonna crawl back to the team. Tim made his pecs dance. 5:30 AM. In an hour and a half, he’d have to open the gym. Plenty of time to chug a gallon of protein shake and maybe do a little leg workout. He'd hit chest again tonight. Maybe he’d even let the wrestling team captain give him a hand with it.

[muffin-man-marq-lynch]

I've only been a wrestling fan for a few months but I have to say with the nervous flutter about wrestlers lurking on Tumblr and fic sites and other traditionally closed-off fandomy spaces? I get it. On both sides.

But if I was a wrestler with the natural inclinations and curiosity to poke my nose into what people are saying in my industry outside of the dirtsheets, I would get really, really tired of the same six talking points regurgitated over and over on Twitter and Reddit threads arguing about ratings, whether X is washed up, the same fucking wank over and over floating to the top. I say this because I have tried to stick my nose into the wrestling Twitter and Reddit communities a few times as a new fan and it exhausts me already.

So yeah, I can see the appeal as a lurking wrestler on Tumblr for the exact same things we do.

Look at that! HD Gifsets of the matches! Showing off the moments that really made people pop and the moves that were incredible in more than just YouTube clips, filled with tagged commentary.

Oh fun, longer form commentary on where matches might go, pulling together histories of feuds and reigns, lighter hearted debates and shitposts all around.

A tagging system that actually allows some muting once in a while that people sometimes use?

And yes, fic, art, and objectification. Cheers, I have been working very hard on my pecs, my tits did look amazing tonight, thank you for noticing my costume details change.

Yes, we're horny, we're ravenous, we're transing your genders, foaming at the mouth, etc etc. But we've been here doing this for a while. I was doing this shit with a community on LiveJournal for Kayfabe Jon Stewart & "Stephen" Colbert back in 2009 and they knew and played it up for us too.

The weird pervert who is harmless but a good friend trope has gone way down lately, which makes sense given the current climate post #MeToo, but Kenny Omega on Being The Elite was a great example: in a sea of other dick jokes he was the ulti-perv they all still chose to hang out with. We on Tumblr are for the most part not bashing, harassing, haranguing, or spreading misinformation. We're just making art, noticing details, supporting work, and throwing out lewd jokes.

It's entirely up to the wrestling community if they want to hang out with us while we do those things, but it seems pretty clear that that is a vibe a lot of them are comfortable with, and some are happy to dig deeper into the weird shit we're making.

I just see a lot of people getting self-loathing about what they've been posting and I wanted to offer a different perspective. I've seen actors lose their minds being delighted at body pillows of themselves or mousepads of their supple tits. Adults are all different and none of this should be forced on anyone at conventions or tagged at them etc, but if they seek it out and like it? Well then, welcome to the Devil's Sacrament. Have fun, and personally I'm glad Tumblr is also your happy escape space.

[sheinthatfandom]

I love my squishies!!!!!

Fuck everyone from the past to today who has body shamed wrestlers and made them self conscious about their look. Wrestlers with a lovely amount of squish are heaven sent and the fact that (especially in the 90s!!!) I have to listen to wrestlers talk about being encouraged to wrestle with their shirts on because everyone in management told them "nO oNe wAnTs tO sEe tHaT"

Bullshit!

I want to see that! I fucking LOVE that!! I love my boys with tummies and booba! I love my ladies with meaty thighs and squishy hips!

I love squishy wrestlers!

[bridenore]

HD eight year fic recs : 10k to 20k words

Here are a few drarry eight year fic recs that are between 10k and 20k words. Posted in alphabetical order, as always.

All the Sense in the World by @l0vegl0wsinthedark [10k]

He had absolutely no idea what was about to happen. Maybe Malfoy would kick him in the face. Maybe he’d scream loud enough that the whole school would rush in and see him lying there between Malfoy’s legs with his cock rock hard. Maybe he’d hex Harry’s rock hard cock off. Hell, maybe Harry’d wake in his own bed in a few minutes with a rock hard cock and would never again be able to look at Malfoy without sprouting an instant hard-on. Or maybe he and Malfoy would have sex.

All Your Stars In View by @alpha-exodus [18k]

Life after the war is difficult for Harry, especially when the only thing that makes him feel better is, oddly enough, being around Malfoy. So when Malfoy asks to paint his portrait, Harry can’t refuse, even if it means baring himself in more ways than one.

Deep Waters by @huldrejenta  [13k]

Back at Hogwarts, eighth year turns out to be just as miserable as Draco had suspected. Struggling with post-war apathy, he tries to find something positive he can do for himself. Like secretly learning how to swim in the Great Lake. Only things don’t go as planned when Potter somehow finds out.

Dreaming of Harry by @writcraft [11k]

The first night Draco Malfoy dreams of Harry Potter, everything changes.

Famished by LadyGaGalion [10k]

Draco thought his life couldn’t get any worse. He was wrong. Now Harry Potter’s stuck to his arm.

He Was a Skater Boy by @m0srael [19k]

Harry Potter intends to spend his eighth year at Hogwarts avoiding the endless stares, whispers, and nosy questions that never seem to leave him be. He wants nothing more than to hide in the quiet solitude of his dorm room, keep his head down, and wallow in his grief. At least, that’s his plan right up until the moment Draco Malfoy kick-flips his life upside down.

Hold Close Your Heart and Take the Leap by  @dracogotgame  [19k]

Draco knows he needs to tell Potter their lives are about to change forever. But ‘knowing’ and ‘doing’ are two very different things. 

Hung Like a Hippogriff by Magnolia822 [16k]

After Dean Thomas catches Malfoy wanking and tells everyone about his giant cock, Harry can’t stop thinking about it. Not because he’s attracted to Malfoy, mind, but because he’s concerned Malfoy is up to something. Er … 

In the Interest of Interhouse Cooperation by @firethesound [11k]

Organizing a Duelling Club was supposed to be a fun extracurricular activity for Harry’s 8th year. But add in Draco Malfoy and a malfunctioning Room of Requirement, and things can’t help but get complicated. 

‘Ohana by plumeria47 [11k]

It started off so simple: sex whenever they wanted it, with no further expectations.  But life has a funny way of turning everything up on its head.

Pure Imagination by @aibidil [14k]

An eighth-year tale of depressed happiness, reluctant imagination, and conflicted hope. And skateboarding.

The Room that Changed Everything by @multiverse-of-fanfic [18k]

When a sabotaged potion lands Harry and Draco in detention, Harry must wrestle with two uncomfortable truths: One, Malfoy the nemesis no longer exists. And Two, Harry is embarrassingly attracted to him. With the war behind them, can Harry and Malfoy build something from the ashes, or are they doomed to be enemies forever?

Said and Unsaid (or, The Value of Knowing When to Stop Talking) by bryoneybrynn [14k]

When the Interrogator asked if he had anything to say on his own behalf, Draco shook his head, his lips pressed tight in a thin line. There was nothing to say that wouldn’t sound like an excuse.

Say It Out Loud by @pheaphilus [11k]

Eighth year was bollocks, as far as Draco could tell.

Sex and the Art of Castle Maintenance  by birdsofshore [14k]

“Come on, boys,” Zabini drawled. “You’re only delaying the inevitable.” Trouble always had a way of finding Harry, and eighth year was obviously going to be no exception.

so scarlet it was by Olena [19k]

Draco’s back for his Eighth Year as part of his parole. He’s doing his best not to annoy any war heroes and avoid Harry Potter as if his life depends on it. Too bad Harry has other ideas.

The Slytherin Host Club by shushu_yaoi_lj / @orange-peony​ [14k]

Harry is simply looking for a quiet place to finish his Potions essay. It’s a pity he ends up at the Slytherin Host Club instead. Or maybe it’s a blessing in disguise, since he’s had a secret crush on Malfoy for a while…

Through the Looking Glass and What Draco Found There by @magpiefngrl [17k]

Draco discovers the Mirror of Erised is a portal and he enters an alternate reality where your deepest  desires come true. Or how Draco found himself in the world of his dreams and Potter had to come and ruin it.

Truffles, Noble Lord of the Sky by megyal [10k]

Fuck fairies; and Longbottom, too.

Truths, Dares, and Love Affairs by @ronbinary [17k]

NEWTs are approaching, Mind Healing is mandatory, and something is wrong with the castle. And then, there’s Potter.

Tug-O-Want by @dysonrules [16k]

Harry is back at Hogwarts minding his own business when he finds himself magically drawn to Draco Malfoy. Over and over again.

Twice as Much as an Earthquake by @firethesound [18k]

Accidental bonding. Breaking and entering. Conspiring, however unwillingly, in the strange one-man war Malfoy’s waging against detention. This isn’t the normal school year Harry anticipated having, but at least it’s not boring. 

I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!

[themultifanshipper]

lawsunoda smut plz

Even back in the junior series, Liam knew he wasn't completely straight.

He couldn't explore much though because of how it might put his career in jeopardy. But now he was in F1, and his attraction to men was becoming a serious problem.

Warnings: top yuki, both of them being absolute idiots, wet dreams and cold showers galore, coming in pants (TWICE), tension, Liam being so far in the closet his gaydar is broken, handjobs, blowjobs, first time getting fucked, cum eating, the pacing is atrocious but if I look at this anymore I will have a breakdown

Growing up, he'd often see his friends almost naked and find them just as (if not more) appealing than women.

He'd had silly crushes, and wet dreams, and even some wank-bank worthy fantasies that had kept him occupied on lonely nights, but nothing more than that.

And in this field it was imperative to keep this kind of thing a secret, in case someone got the idea of outing you to ruin your career.

He didn't dare try and find hookups or anything of that sort in case it got out.

So that part of him stayed well hidden.

He even got a girlfriend, who he liked very much, but it certainly had the added bonus of eliminating any suspicion.

Until Daniel Ricciardo broke his hand and he was promoted to full time Formula 1 driver.

George Russell, the head of the GPDA, took one look at him and said “If anyone gives you any trouble about being gay, you come to me. I don't tolerate any workplace discrimination against my fellow drivers”

Liam thanked him, but assured him he had a girlfriend, to which George just chuckled and replied:

“Yeah, we all have girlfriends mate”

He winked at him conspiratorially and walked off , leaving Liam red-faced and sweating at the implications.

Yuki was a pleasure to be around. He was a bit flirty, sometimes bordering on pushy, but he was nice outside of racing and they got along better than most teammates did.

They'd known each other a long time, being in RedBull's junior program and being roommates back in Milton Keynes before Yuki had moved to Italy.

Yuki knew about his… preferences, because on more than one occasion they'd gotten drunk and talked for hours about all sorts of things while under the influence of good booze and good pizza, in the safe space of their apartment.

But they never mentioned it otherwise, and Liam wasn't even sure Yuki remembered those conversations because he was a massive lightweight and was always incredibly hungover the next day.

That didn't change the fact that when Liam became his teammate, Yuki’s old crush came back in full force, and he followed him around like a lost puppy and tried to rile him up 24/7.

Liam soon realised, that Yuki flirted a lot more with him than any of the other drivers did with each other.

Hell the Ferrari drivers were bad enough, but Yuki took it to a whole new level.

It wasn't outright “I like you, I want to fuck” kind of flirting.

 It was more, “poke me and I'll poke you back until we wrestle and inevitably violently make out” kind of flirting.

Which was objectively worse for Liam because like any man, he wasn’t sure if Yuki was genuinely interested or if he was making up the whole thing in his head.

And if there's one thing more terrifying than being outed by a rival, it's being rejected and then outed by a friend.

The teasing continued throughout the season, Yuki getting bolder with every move.

Yuki had been pretty liberal for most of his life, never taking himself too seriously.

He wasn't exactly out, but most of the grid knew he liked to fool around with just about anyone, and he’d had a few male lovers so far.

None of them were as captivating as Liam though.

Liam hadn't got the memo however, because no matter how hard Yuki tried, he couldn't seem to get his intentions across to him.

Every time he tried to initiate his equivalent of gay chicken, (roasting Liam until he hopefully shut him up by kissing him), Liam would just laugh it off as friendly banter.

Yuki was going to have to try a different tactic. Perhaps a more direct approach would do the trick.

The opportunity arose in the form of a bad romcom trope coming to life.

The hotel they were staying in for the Vegas GP had got the reservation wrong.

Either that or the team had purposely booked a double room to cut on expenses.

It didn't matter because either way, Liam and Yuki were going to be sharing a bed for the next few nights.

That was fine. It was all fine.

Liam was a bit nervous but Yuki was secretly thanking the universe for this opportunity.

“No matter what happens, you can't fall in love with me” Liam said teasingly in front of the poor receptionist, who had just broken the news to them and handed them a singular key, but Yuki just smirked at him.

“Too late” he snatched the key from Liam's hand “I already jerk off every night thinking about you”

Liam choked on his spit as he followed him, quickly apologizing to the woman for Yuki's joke before scurrying away in embarrassment.

“Yuki you can't just say that!” His face looked like it had been painted rosso corsa as they crossed the threshold of their room.

“Why? It's true” Yuki laughed humourlessly.

Liam didn't pick up on it though, chuckling to himself as he nervously muttered Jesus Christ under his breath.

They shuffled around the room, pulling stuff out of their suitcases, taking turns showering, and ordering room service for dinner.

“Practice is going to be chaos tomorrow I reckon” Liam said as he chewed on a barely seasoned piece of chicken from his diet-compliant meal.

Yuki hummed in agreement, this was Vegas, the entertainment capital of the world after all.

“Who do you think is most likely to get married in the chapel?” Yuki asked after a few minutes silence.

“I don't know… maybe Lando and Oscar? But they're so shy around each other they'd have to be black out drunk” he laughed and Yuki giggled.

“Definitely, but I think Charles and Max are the ones that need it the most. They both have too many sticks up their asses”

They joked comfortably for a bit and for a while it felt like they were roommates again.

They got ready for bed, both quite tired from their day of travelling.

Yuki was just in a pair of boxers and Liam froze, staring at the extremely fit man in front of him.

He was obviously a lot more jacked than in their junior days, but Liam was taken by surprise at just how fucking thick the man was.

His arms… his chest… his thighs…

Yuki caught him staring and wrongly assumed it was because he was uncomfortable.

“Sorry… I always sleep in just boxers, is that okay?”

It was unreasonable to expect Liam to remember Yuki's sleeping habits from several years ago, but he still felt like a moron as his eyes roamed across the other man's body.

“Yeah, totally cool I'd just… forgotten. You know since… when we lived together… we had separate beds and stuff…” Liam gulped and pulled his own shirt off to avoid saying anything even more embarrassing.

Yuki laughed. “Yes, usually people sleep together before moving in with each other but…”  he winked and slid under the covers, sinking into the mattress and yawning.

“Yeah…” Liam's voice cracked and he followed suit, leaving as much space between their bodies as possible while facing away from the other man.

“Night Yuki” he said quickly, turning the lamp off on his bedside table.

“Goodnight Liam” Yuki sighed, doing the same and falling asleep within about a minute.

Liam just lay there, waiting for sleep to take him, as his mind wandered back to Yuki's body.

He could feel his body heat despite the space between them.

He thought about how Yuki had changed so much since their junior days.

Not just physically, he was a lot more confident, more assertive and more outgoing despite his rather shy nature.

He was also funny and hot, and really one of the best friends Liam had at the moment. Certainly the one he'd known the longest.

He managed to fall asleep sometime around 3, and his dreams consisted of short, jacked, faceless men doing all sorts of things to his body.

The person seemed so familiar, yet so unknown as his hands trailed down his back.

One minute he was on all fours, getting railed, the next he was on top, kissing down a toned pair of pecs as his hips slapped against hairy thighs wrapped around his waist.

Despite never having been with a man, it all seemed so incredibly real and natural to him, as if his subconscious was trying to tell him this was what he was craving.

Then suddenly he was on his knees, a pair of hands tangled in his hair holding his head still as the man forced his cock down Liam's throat. He drooled around it, greedily slurping at it like a slut.

“Fuck Liam, your mouth is so good”

The voice was far away and sounded vaguely familiar, but he didn't pay it any mind, he was concentrating on the task at hand: letting this man use him for his pleasure.

He couldn't breathe, head swimming as his throat was abused over and over, swallowing every last drop of the mystery man's cum.

He woke with a start.

The bed next to him was empty and the sun was barely rising, so the room was still mostly in darkness.

He checked the time… 5:29?

They didn't need to be in the paddock before 11… so why was Yuki in the bathroom taking a shower this fucking early?

Before he could ask himself too many questions he realised that he felt damp.

Not like, sweaty damp, more like a hormonal teenager that's just come in his fucking boxers damp.

He slid a hand into his underwear to check and… yep.

That must have been what woke him up.

And another startling realisation hit.

The dream he was having was very fuzzy, but there was no mistaking the voice of Yuki Tsunoda moaning his name as he fucked his mouth.

So he'd just come in his pants from dreaming about his friend fucking his throat…

He jumped out of bed just as the sound of the shower being turned off hit his ears.

Ripping his soiled underwear off as quickly as he could, and making use of his limited time to clean himself up as best he could, he raced against the clock to try and get another pair of underwear on before Yuki came out.

Luckily he managed it, and he greeted his teammate just as he turned around to see the door of the bathroom open to reveal a dripping wet Yuki with a towel loosely wrapped around his hips.

Liam went in the bathroom after him, feigning needing a piss just to get out of the awkwardness and avoid staring at his teammates dripping body for longer than was strictly appropriate.

The first thing he noticed was that there were none of Yuki's many products in the bathroom.

No shampoo, no body wash… so he'd just got himself wet?

The other thing was a lack of steam and condensation in the small tiled room.

Yuki had had a cold shower.

Liam knew very well that Yuki hated cold showers with a passion.

Unfortunately it was nearly 6 in the morning and his brain was too tired to make any kind of deduction so he did actually end up having a piss then went back to bed and fell almost straight back asleep.

Yuki however could not.

Over on his side of the bed the mood was more one of mild panic.

Yuki had taken a cold shower in the hopes of getting rid of his erection, caused by Liam, who had been moaning in his sleep and grinding his hips into the bed until he came, moaning Yuki's name.

Liam had seemed so uninterested by Yuki's advances that the man was unsure what to make of the situation and his mind raced until it was time to get up and go.

Media day was awkward, to say the least. They didn't really speak to each other much, but the interactions they did have were short and even the RB staff had noticed how jumpy they were being around each other.

That night, Yuki didn't show up at the hotel. He texted Liam saying he was staying with Pierre and not to wait up for him.

So that was it then. Yuki knew what Liam had done the night before and this was the end of their friendship.

Liam didn't get much sleep, and Yuki indeed stayed with Pierre, ranting about what had happened for hours on end, much to the annoyance of the frenchman.

“Yuki” Pierre sighed dramatically “you are so dumb. You obviously like each other and are too scared to admit it”

“Maybe… I will try and talk to him tomorrow”

“Great” Pierre huffed “Now can we please go to sleep?”

They bid each other goodnight, but Yuki's head was still full of unanswered questions.

P1 and P2 went fine. But at the end of the day they were both exhausted and ready to get as much rest as possible for the next day.

They slid into bed, on the same sides as before, barely speaking a word to each other before passing out.

This time when Liam woke with a start, it wasn't because he'd come in his pants, it was because Yuki was spooning him.

He felt a hardness pressing into his ass and didn't take long to figure out what it was.

Yuki was hard, and gently rocking against him in his sleep.

Liam was torn. Should he wake Yuki up and risk the older man being disgusted and ending their friendship then and there? Or should he do nothing and pretend it never happened?

Somehow with the second option he felt like he was taking advantage of Yuki, given how he felt about the man, but selfishly, he decided he didn't care.

If this was to be between only him and himself that was fine.

He arched his back and pushed himself back towards Yuki, to give him more to work with, which worked a treat.

Yuki’s arm that was draped over Liam's body shifted and tightened around his middle, unconsciously pulling Liam's hips back harder against his movements.

Liam let out a shuddery breath as he let it happen, indulging in the strength of the other man, letting Yuki use his body to get off, and he had to reach down and squeeze a hand around his own cock to avoid a replay of the other night.

He only had so many pairs of spare boxers.

He briefly wondered whether Yuki would come against him, whether it would wake him up or not, and whether Yuki would hate himself for it in the morning.

The universe decided to be even crueler than that.

Yuki moaned Liam's name instead.

Quite loudly. And Liam's dick throbbed.

Yuki was dreaming about him?

Was the man's subconscious on drugs?

Why the fuck was he having sex dreams about Liam?

Yuki continued the gentle movement of his hips, letting out soft whines against the back of Liam's neck.

After at least half an hour, and an increasing sense of urgency in Yuki's moans, Liam thought the older man was finally going to come in his pants.

What happened was much more mortifying.

Yuki's body jolted slightly and he froze completely, halting his movements and his moans as the silence became deafening.

Liam knew Yuki had woken up, but Yuki didn't know whether Liam was awake, so they both stayed like that, hard and internally panicking, trying to pretend to be sleeping, for the next several hours.

Well, obviously they were exhausted the next day and did terribly in qualifying, both of them getting knocked out in Q1.

“This has to stop it's not healthy” Pierre said after Yuki had turned up in his hotel room, yet again.

“You don't understand. I want to fuck a straight man, there is nothing more terrifying than that”

Pierre rolled his eyes in exasperation.

“Yuki listen to me. Liam is not straight! It is obvious like the nose in the middle of the face but you refuse to see it”

“He has a girlfriend! He obviously does not want me!” Yuki whined and Pierre almost slapped him.

“Okay fuck this” he took his phone out and texted Liam to come over to his hotel, now.

Liam was a bit confused but he did as he was told, almost sprinting the short distance between the two hotels.

When Pierre opened the door he looked almost murderous.

“Tell Yuki you want him to fuck you, because you two are driving me mental. I am going to stay with Charles. Please don't get cum on the bed.”

And with that he left the room, slamming the door behind him.

Liam stared at a mortified looking Yuki sitting on the bed.

“What is Pierre on about?” he asked tentatively.

Yuki sighed.

“I used to have a crush on you back when we were roommates, you know?”

Liam shook his head. “No I did not know that”

“And when you became my teammate this year it came back… And you told me before that you weren't completely straight but every time I have tried to flirt you have brushed me off so I assumed you don't want anything to do with me. Until the other night when you dreamed about fucking me”

Liam's jaw was on the floor at this point, and he blushed at the mention of that night.

He didn't quite know what to say, so the first thing that came out of his mouth didn't register in his brain until after he said it.

“Actually I was dreaming about you fucking my throat but yeah…” he corrected and they just stared at each other.

They didn't say anything for a long time, trying to decipher what this all meant.

After what felt like an eternity Yuki said:

“Can I please fuck your mouth?”

And Liam didn't hesitate, he dropped to his knees and crawled towards the bed.

“Please” he said, and Yuki groaned, rushing to get his pants down.

This was finally it.

Liam could have cried with relief as the salty taste of Yuki's precum hit his tongue.

He sank down to the base and Yuki choked on air as he watched Liam deepthroat him immediately.

Despite Liam never having been with a man, he’d tried and tested his gag reflex and had found out early on that he just didn't have one.

Yuki was the first lucky bastard to bear witness to that gift of nature.

The older man threaded his fingers through Liam's dirty blonde hair and held him in place while he thrusted his hips up into his waiting mouth.

Liam was in heaven, he was letting his throat be used for Yuki's pleasure and his cock was hard between his legs, so he squeezed a hand around himself.

He couldn't breathe because of how deep the other man was inside his throat, so Yuki pulled him off for a second, and stared at his hooded eyes and the line of spit linking his tip to Liam's swollen lips.

“My god Liam how many guys have you been practising on?”

“None” he rasped “You're my first”

He was about to take Yuki back into his mouth but the older man kept his head still and groaned.

“You have never been with a man?” he asked.

“Nopee…” Liam whined, trying to fill his mouth, but Yuki wasn't letting him. “Please, Yuki”

Yuki almost combusted on the spot.

“Please what?”

“Please fuck my mouth!” he cried impatiently.

Yuki didn't tease him any longer, he rubbed his tip on Liam's tongue teasingly before shoving himself back in to the base.

Liam moaned and his eyes rolled back into his skull as Yuki's balls slapped against his chin every time he buried himself in his throat.

He was floating, almost like in his dream, and his own cock was throbbing between his legs at the feeling of being used like this.

He shouldn't have been so turned on by a blowjob, but he could feel himself slowly edging closer to an orgasm as Yuki's hips stuttered.

“I’m going to come, where do you want it?” Yuki rasped.

Liam answered non-verbally by grasping his hips and shoving him as deep as he could down his throat, while looking up at Yuki with as much submissiveness as he could muster.

Yuki was a goner. The sight of his long time crush completely fucked out, greedily swallowing his cock was so fucking hot that he came down Liam's throat, toes curling at the sudden white hot pleasure coursing through his body.

Liam heaved in a breath as soon as his mouth was empty and it took him a second to realise he had in fact, come in his pants once again.

He was a grown man for fuck's sake.

Yuki had fallen backwards and was trying to catch his breath while staring at the ceiling, so thankfully, had not noticed.

Liam shuffled forwards on his knees and hugged Yuki's midriff, hiding his very red face.

The older man looked down and giggled. His hand went to stroke Liam's hair, fingernails scratching lightly at his scalp.

“Do you want me to repay the favour?” he asked, as Liam's body shuddered.

“No…” he whined into Yuki's shirt “I already uhh… came”

His voice squeaked in embarrassment and Yuki simultaneously melted and twitched with arousal.

“You came from giving me a blowjob?” he asked, bewildered.

“Yeah…” Liam moaned pitifully.

The silence stretched on and Liam was worried that Yuki was weirded out so he opened his mouth to apologise for ruining everything.

But before he could get a word out, Yuki sat up and pulled Liam up into his lap.

Liam was so shocked by the fact that Yuki had just lifted him up like a child, he felt his cock twitch at the casual display of strength.

“Can I see?” Yuki asked breathlessly while his brain short-circuited.

Liam undid his pants and Yuki wasted no time sliding his hand in and wrapping a hand around his half hard cock.

The stickiness made his own semi throb and he pulled his hand out to inspect it.

Liam was holding his breath, surely he wasn't going to-

He was.

He did.

Yuki licked his hand clean of his cum, while making full eye contact.

He hummed at the taste and when he’d finished, he put his hand flat on Liam’s chest to feel his heart beat.

Liam gasped and his hips bucked, brushing against Yuki's rapidly growing bulge. They were both getting extremely turned on again, and the heat in the room was becoming almost suffocating.

Yuki's hand went back into Liam’s pants and curled around his cock once more, to start jerking him off slowly, aided by the slick remnants of his cum.

His other hand went to the back of Liam's head and crashed their lips together in a heated kiss.

It had been a long time coming. A very long time coming.

Yuki could taste himself on Liam tongue and he groaned, tightening his grip which made Liam groan in turn and wrap his arms around Yuki's neck.

As they made out, the hand on Liam's neck went down to his ass and squeezed at the supple flesh, making Liam whine into the kiss.

“Yuki, I need you to fuck me, now” he gasped.

Yuki grunted and turned them around so that Liam was now lying on the bed with his legs hanging off the edge.

Yuki made quick work of both of their clothes and spread Liam's legs, hungrily taking in the other man’s vulnerable state.

“Wait, have you done this before?” he asked, suddenly remembering what he’d said earlier.

Liam shook his head and grinned at him, crossing his hands behind his head, which distracted Yuki slightly because the movement made his biceps flex invitingly.

“Nope… you get the honour of deflowering the great Liam Lawson”

He wasn't sure where this sudden cockiness was coming from, but Yuki just rolled his eyes and went over to the bedside table to grab a bottle of lube he knew Pierre always carried around with him. (Don't ask)

The first finger pushing inside was an odd sensation, but not unpleasant, Liam thought.

Yuki was very generous with the lube, determined to make Liam's first experience as comfortable as possible.

The second finger stretched him out a bit more, and he keened when Yuki accidentally brushed his prostate.

The new sensation sent a jolt up his spine and Yuki chuckled.

Soon enough he was ready, and his cock was angry and leaking all over his stomach.

Yuki somehow resisted the urge to lick it all up, instead he lined himself up and pushed in just an inch.

Liam moaned at the stretch and his hands gripped at the sheets.

“Relax Liam…” Yuki soothed him with a hand rubbing circles on his hip.

“Yes Yuki” he gasped and took a deep breath before the older man managed to push himself in further.

Once Yuki was fully sheathed, Liam could hardly breathe.

Yes it was his first time, but Yuki was big.

But he was also incredibly gentle, letting Liam adjust in his own time before starting to rock his hips in a slow rhythm.

Liam was on fire (in a good way).

He wrapped his legs around Yuki’s waist and pulled him down into a kiss.

The sound of their hips slapping echoed in the room, along with Liam's little ah… ah… ahh’s as Yuki's cock grazed his prostate on every increasingly powerful thrust.

“Yuki!” Liam cried out, overwhelmed by the sensations that were completely new to him.

They looked into each other's eyes as they got closer to their ends, foreheads pressed together making them go cross-eyed. (They looked like lovesick idiots)

“Yuki- fuck, christ I'm… I'm going to- I’m coming!” Liam sobbed as his orgasm washed over him in waves while Yuki chased his own.

“Liam!” he gasped into Liam's mouth as he came inside him, hips grinding against the spot that made him see stars.

They panted and moaned into each others' mouths, coming down from the intense high as Yuki found Liam's hand to intertwine their fingers.

“I love you” he muttered as he kissed down Liam's neck and across his chest.

Tears sprang to Liam's eyes. “Yuki”

The older man looked up at him expectantly.

“I love you too” he whispered and Yuki smiled.

They kissed again, softer and more controlled than before.

They had time.

Pierre wasn't coming back anytime soon so they made use of the en-suite bathroom to take a nice long shower, soaping each other up and giggling like children as they felt each other up.

On their way back to their room, Yuki shot Pierre a quick text.

“We did not get cum on the bed, but you will need to buy more lube”

Pierre must have been waiting with Charles for a sign of life, because his reply was immediate.

“For fuck’s sake, Yuki. I told you to stop stealing my lube!”

“But congratulations or whatever”

[selamat-linting]

i have my preferences and im outspoken abt it, but i do dislike really negative/whiny/irony-poisoned ppl in wrestling fandom. like, i wish all of their faves went to the company they hate. thats one of the few things that does happen often.

i was giggling when ricochet went to aew, not because im particularly fans of him (the guys seems alright tho. nothing hateable in him) but because seeing the most insufferable ppl on reddit cry abt him going to aew and stupidly pretend he was never good anyway is genuinely fun for me. what idiots. when ricky starks show up on nxt, i'll be enjoying it as well because now its tumblr's most insufferable ppl's turn to cry and whine about how ricky is shackled in a prison or whatever. hue and cry girlies <3

[leclercskiesahead]

“If you woke up as your teammate one morning, what would be the first thing you would do as him?”

“I know what you would do, which is postpone the alarm. You are such a sleepy guy…”

…

His alarm rings and he blindly reaches for his phone out of habit, brain not even fully awake.

His hand doesn’t find the phone immediately as the ringtone begins to annoy him in his dream, and he grabs desperately to turn it off.

“Mate.”

He must have rolled to one side in his sleep. The bedstand feels further than he remembers, his hand smacking the softness of the sheets and pillows instead.

“Oi, cabron.”

Carlos sounds a bit strange in his dream. And dares to smack his hand before grabbing it.

Oh, they must have swapped sides during the night somehow. No wonder he can’t reach his phone. He must have been grabbing Carlos’ face.

Charles groans as he wrestles his hand from Carlos’ grip. It doesn’t take much of a fight since they are both barely awake, and as soon as it is free he throws his arm over his eyes.

His hairy arm.

Hadn’t he shaved recently? Or maybe it was his hair getting too long.

“Mate, what the fuck.”

Carlos’ voice - the speech is like Carlos’ but the voice doesn’t quite sound like his, not as deep and accent garbled with something else - is what makes Charles finally blink open his eyes.

What the fuck indeed.

Charles jerks up and barely catches himself with his arm - a very tan, very hairy arm - as he stares at his own body sitting up next to him.

They had not switched places during the night. Or they had. Kind of. Not really.

“Fuck,” Charles echoes, voice deeper than he’s ever been able to reach. He slowly feels himself down, the body that is so familiar to him yet unfamiliar from this perspective.

“Mate…” he mutters, and looks up again. He is — Carlos, in his body, is staring at him, at Charles, in Carlos’ body. Carlos’ body that Charles - as Carlos - had just ran his hands over. Oh. Charles realised how it looked.

Carlos - because even wearing Charles’ face and having Charles’ voice, he is still Carlos - holds his gaze. And somehow Carlos still manages to put the force of his deep dark stare behind Charles’ lighter eyes. Charles watches, entrapped, as Carlos’ - his - hand slowly trails down, past the loose blanket that falls aside, and carefully wraps around his cock.

Oh, is that how he looks when…

Carlos - as Charles - blinks and also turns to stare at the length in his fist. He pauses and frowns.

“If I wank now am I giving you or myself a wank?”

Leave it to Carlos to think about these things and make them both have a crisis.

Fortunately, Charles doesn’t think much. Especially not this early in the morning. His - Carlos’ - hands move before he knows it, grabbing his own and Carlos’ - or Carlos’ and his own - members.

“Now it doesn’t matter,” he says.

It never does when their bodies are pressed so close he loses all sense of where he ends and Carlos begins anyway.

[himbos-hotline]

Ok so I’m pretty certain that you’re a big elite fan and I’ve been wanting to get into BTE for a while (I miss Kenny ☹️). But there’s a buuuunch of episodes. Have you watched it and if so where do you recommend I start? Should I just go from the beginning? Also, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

i also miss kenny theres techincally only 505 episodes but that sounds so much! I have watched it and I recommend just going spontaniously wherever you want, the early btes dont really have a story which brings me joy cuz its just WILD ! Like you have kenny wanking while on the phone to matt while nick watches ANYWAY! I say start from the beginning but theres a few of my favourites !

Kenny omega has a problem [literally, we know. look at him!]

adam and kenny explode [this lives rent free in my head]

a curtain call [ripperoni adam cole]

the elite society [hangman has a gun, matt has a phone that predicts the worse outcomes, the elite get super close]

kennys quest [kenny/okada as a video game. Fun fact: this was also actively produced with the guy who made undertale]

merch freak [theres something deserpately wrong with nick jackson]

blood on my hands [hangman goes to search for kenny, drunken antics happen]

the morning after [i dont remember this episode but the thumbnail is hangman with his tits out and that sells me]

matt vs nick [the 200th bte episode, the bucks wrestle one another but it also has one of the best outpours of brotherly love]

living in the woods [hangman lives in the woods, screams about boobs and registers that nobody will ever care about him as much as he cares about other people]

a birthday and a death [the best friends kill brandon]

i love you dude [pumpkin hanger!]

a christmas carol [HANGMAN THE HANDSOME COWBOY COULD HAVE BEEN A SUPER STAR!]

back from the dead [return of the adam cole]

a dark order musical [a dark order musical]

never forget where you came from [the elite reunion]

[gaypiratebrainrot]

Hi! I have a question about wfu and specifically about the tags. I'm among those who have always read it exclusively as rpf (and I'm completely okay with it) and I was curious about what prompted you to tag it also as stede/ed. Was it just because of the names swapping? Or was it a choice to make it all meta-ish? I find it super interesting either way, and the fic itself is amazing

hi! thank you so much for this question and your kind words!

"is this rpf?" was always a central question of wfu, and one that i wrestled with a lot on my own while writing it. an intended part of the thought experiment was to publish it in a way where "is this rpf?" remained an open question for the reader to answer for themselves. my first beta had a strong knee-jerk reaction that the text was rpf, like, as early as the scene where they're having drinks on the back porch, leaving comments like "this is definitely rpf". at that point, i actually made a second doc where i swapped the names back and considered publishing it as regular rpf. instead, at the encouragement of my beta, i added two small additional meta scenes to the stede/ed version (the conversation with jim, wee john, and frenchie at the party, and then the bit at ed's house when ed and stede are crying on the couch and ed brings up fan fiction again), and gave that to a second beta.

my second beta had a strong knee-jerk reaction in the other direction, to the point where they didn't even think i needed to tag it rhys/taika. that was when i knew the thought experiment was going to work--it wasn't that either beta was right or wrong, but that every reader was going to have their own unique reaction to the text and whether it was rpf, an actor au, or some secret third thing. it was an extremely cool moment in my life and i will never forget it.

i decided to tag it as stede/ed, rhys/taika, RPF, and Actor AU, because i suspected as long as i did not definitively say what it was, there would be readers who would read it as just rpf or just an actor au. and this is exactly what happened, and continues to happen; there is a pretty wild diversity of interpretations and justifications for why wfu reads exclusively as either rpf or an au, in addition to everyone experiencing some secret third thing. it's really beautiful and i think there's a lot to be learned about how different people engage with and negotiate the relationship between fiction and reality.

and then there's also just the readers-finding-it-on-ao3 factor of tagging a fic: lots of people who never read rhys/taika love wfu as a stede/ed fic, and also if you love rhys/taika, you'd probably be happy to stumble across wfu in the rhys/taika tag. of course, there was also a small twitter wank when i published it from a few people who, it seems, did not engage with anything else about the fic beyond seeing the rpf tag and strapping into their moral superiority outrage pants. this too was beautiful, because what lovely experimental evidence of what incurious, reactionary morality will lead you to miss about all the vast murky gray of the world.

[octuscle]

My wrestling coach of 6 years has been on my ass trying to get me to join him as his assistant coach. I’m not so interested as I have to prioritize my studies.

The problem is he keeps sending his dirty compression gear to my flat — I don’t get that. But something about that smell… it reminds me of him, his manliness… And I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t had a crush on him for the past 4 years… maybe I should accept his offer…

Well, crush is a harsh word… I mean, you started on the youth team in elementary school with your coach. You're a sophomore in college now. Sure you had a little crush on him when you were in high school. But you weren't really in love.

Since you've had a laundry basket full of his dirty clothes in your apartment, that's changed a bit. You dream about your trainer all the time. And the dream usually ends with rough sex. And a nocturnal ejaculation on your part. You're already sleeping in one of his wrestling singlets so you don't have to keep changing your bed. This prevents bigger messes.

When you get out of the shower this morning, freshly shaved all over, there's a knock at the door. Someone has left a package in front of the door. A wrestling singlet. It's still warm and damp with sweat. And someone has recently squirted into the singlet. It's actually disgusting. You actually have to go to class. But you have to try on the singlet. Now. Damn, it feels so great. The cum from Coach sticks to your smooth cock. You can feel his sweat on your skin. You smell your freshly shaved armpits. It's a good thing you haven't used deodorant yet. So you can smell Coach's musk and imagine it's yours. You have a boner. You play with your nipples. Your precum mixes with Coach's cum. And shortly afterwards you cum. An incredible amount!

You don't have time to shower. Your first marketing lecture starts in half an hour. You pull on a pair of jeans and a hoodie over your singlet, slip into socks and sneakers, grab your backpack and make your way to campus.

You could have saved yourself the day at university. You couldn't concentrate. You went to the toilet three times to have a wank. And as soon as you get back to your apartment, you wank the next time. It feels so great to come in Coach's singlet.

The next morning you wake up in your own university team singlet. You must have changed into it at some point while you were half asleep. Phew, you stink of sweat and cum. Yes, you remember… After training yesterday, there was a private wrestling session with Coach. He tried to use gentle force to persuade you to take on the job of assistant coach. The fight was great. But you don't want to. The fact that you let yourself be persuaded to switch from business studies to sports science a semester ago is the furthest thing from your mind. First lecture this morning is athletics. Not your favorite sport… But at least you don't have to shower. You take a deep breath from your bushy armpit. Fuck, yes! No wonder it drives Coach crazy. If you could, you'd fuck yourself.

Coach is still lying next to you, snoring. Today is your last fight as a student for your university. You're still wondering whether you should cut your hair for the graduation ceremony. Since you've been Coach's assistant, you've let your curls grow. But when you graduate, you'll also lose your assistant position. In two months, you will become a coach at your old high school. Best job you can imagine.

Pic found @athletic-collection

[scoobydoodean]

links to all the crit dramas? plz? pretty pretty plz? with plzes on top?

Bestie that is a BIG ask and I did not keep up with all the links for all of these (nor would it be feasible to link all of the wank that happened in some cases, and I think in other cases, it would be poor form). But here’s a rundown in (to the best of my memory) chronological order.

Poor wet cat failed pacifists Cas

I think this one may have more context than I know—it's a fairly common motif anyway and has been for years. But the disk horse was reignited at some point because Courtney Queermania said that Dean is, in fact, willing to be inconvenienced by Cas. This did not sit well with anti-dean destiels, who went on the post to tell Courtney they are wrong about everything because *looks at notes* Cas was dedicated to pacifism and Dean forced him to be an evil killer or some other made up nonsense. Dean also forced Cas to fall from heaven and poor bumbling billion year old baby Cas can't even take a shit without Dean's say so, so everything is always Dean's fault and he can't even be grateful and is mean and evil and probably abusive too etc etc. Funny stuff from people who ship Dean and Cas. Btw. Elements of this camp had been sending Courtney hate mail for months before this for daring to post a poll featuring canonical events that occur in the actual show.

Deangirl Uquiz

In April, I made a 50-question True/False uquiz called "How sus do you look to a deanfan (me)?" and said you were sus if you got anything less than like an 80 or something. It was supposed to be a silly, tongue-in-cheek shitpost. I did most of my fandom interaction over on @i-make-fun-of-spn-characters at the time, but intentionally did NOT post this uquiz over there (to a much larger audience) because the uquiz I'd made was meant for a small group of like-minded mutuals and followers who would actually understand the context and find it amusing.

Well. It ended up spreading.

Deancrits got ahold of it and were very very mad that I dared to say things like, "Dean is not largely responsible for Sam and Cas's issues" and "People should have laughed at Dean's jokes more" and "Sam and Cas didn't actually deserve Dean's trust in season 4/6 because they were gaslight gatekeep girlbossing and could not be trusted". They grabbed my uquiz to use like a fleshlight, then discarded it on the ground and cried that it was too big around to suit their tiny wieners.

Deancrits drove their followers to brigade my post and my page. I received hate mail. People spewed venom at me directly. Worst of all, someone I don't give a damn about told me I am not funny. :(((( People pushed and made uquizes to "combat" mine. I spawned countless vagues all over spnblr--some supportive, some spewing venom about deanfans violent hatred (???) for Sam and Cas. Whole mutualships were lost between people I didn't even know over this uquiz. It was nuts out there.

I sexily evaded deancrits with my sexy ways while they chased me through the town square, trying to wrestle me into a hair shirt. I edited the uquiz with some more snark since deancrits made it all about them anyway, and changed my icon to flaming Elmo and probably changed my header to say "@ Deancrits Suck my Ass" or something I don't remember. I think I became genuinely angry at one point for about 5 minutes. After that, I remembered a deancrit casgirl took my 50 question uquiz several times in a row, shitting out their insides with rage the entire time, then posted the screenshot of their 0% to all of their followers like the trophy head of some vanquished beast, letting out a warrior howl of victory. To this day, I could not tell you why they thought this would stick it to me. However, this was so incredibly funny that to this day I still risk pissing myself laughing when I think about it. To get that 0, they also had to call Dean their poor little meow meow btw.

Vegan Sam

Every few years deancrit samgirls start this really funny disk horse about how Dean is an evil food tamperer who doesn’t respect that Sam is a vegan. This, of course, is also a violation of Sam's bodily autonomy (see section below). Victoria Angelsdean dared to make an original post stating that Sam is not, in fact, a vegan and never ever has been one. This made vegan Sam truthers really mad, and it was really funny.

Later on, because Courtney Queermania had been receiving a continuous stream of hate mail from deancrits since February, I had lodged a threat (blackmail) to make a second uquiz of evil and villainy in retaliation should any more hate mail be sent to Courtney. During the "Sam’s Super Special Most Violated Autonomy Stolen Valor" disk horse, I made good on this threat, and featured a question about whether or not Sam is a vegan, which made them mad yet again.

Also this post was fun.

Jesus!Sam

Back in April, tumblr user christ-figure-bracket took it upon themselves to create a poll tournament to determine the ultimate christ figure in fiction. Samgirls have long enjoyed paralleling Sam with Jesus, and nominated him for the tournament. In the first round, Sam was put up against Aslan from The Chronicles of Narnia—literal lion Jesus. Samgirls were determined to bring Sam victory. Much of SPNblr endeavored to assist because it would be funny if Sam won. I was a stick in the mud about it, and gave this as my reasoning:

#i’m sorry I know Sam beating Aslan would be funny but I can’t stand the sam = jesus take #worst thing sam girls ever came up with #and that’s a large hurdle to clear #not even because i have a problem with people wanting to read into things and explore symbolism #it’s because some of them get gigantic heads about it and then act like they’re being persecuted for their beliefs

Lo and behold—they proceeded to prove me right.

Very early on, some samgirls started telling people who voted against Sam to kill themselves, and complaining openly by name about fellow samgirls who didn't support their plight. However, the real trouble started when christ-figure-bracket made it clear in a humorous manner that they would prefer not to have wincest shippers in their notes. Enraged, angry wincest shippers began sending christ-figure-bracket hate mail, and adding wincest fic and art to their posts and sending it in DMs, and saying they were being persecuted for their beliefs. christ-figure-bracket could barely block them fast enough. Samgirls cleverly recollected—from a few hours before—that Sam had been placed against literal lion Jesus in the very first round. This and the wincest shipper blocking clearly implied christ-figure-bracket's barely-concealed hatred for samgirls. They were no impartial moderator—no! They intended to skew the poll to destroy Sam!

Anyway, christ-figure-bracket removed Sam from the entire tournament as a punishment. Sonic the Hedgehog ended up winning the whole thing, btw. Also I thought it was funny that Sam got kicked out so I said so in some tags. I got some absolutely batshit mail about my "unfandom behavior" and how I place myself as some "sane anti bully saint" and then the person pinned a vaguepost on their page about me choosing who to bully and who to baby for like a month.

Jesus!Sam disk horse returned for a part 2 when Courtney Queermania said something like, "Making a t-shape with your arms should be called 'Sammying'" and got this shit in their inbox:

Dean winning the best tits poll

People got really mad that Sam didn't win this. There was also a lot of arguing about "tits" versus "pecs" and whether Sam has good tits or good pecs.

Sam’s Super Special Most Violated Autonomy Stolen Valor

One day, Courtney Queermania dared to say on their own blog, that they were considering whether Sam’s autonomy actually gets violated anymore than anyone else’s, and weren't sure that it does.

This suggestion resulted in a firehose of anonymous hate mail on Courtney's blog, about what a terrible evil person Courtney is for daring to think this, about how Sam is the specialist most autonomy-less adult baby ever to exist, and how deangirls daring to possibly deny this truth or suggest anyone else ever experienced a violation of their autonomy is a violation of samgirls bodily autonomy in of itself.

To be clear, NOT ONCE did any of us go on any samgirl's page to interact with ANY of them in any negative way. And yet, samgirls fully treated all of us as absolutely evil horrible insensitive people who were actually harming them irl by posting things on our own blogs. While their friends spewed absolutely vile hate messages at Courtney, samgirl blogs were making posts about OUR cruelty and how any of us daring to find humor within the onslaught was deeply evil and insensitive toward them. It was literally argued that Samgirls themselves are all super special victims of abuse who all of us (who clearly have never been through anything bad ever) were being insensitive toward. So of course that mode of thinking within the samgirl community encouraged the hate bombing to continue as some justified form of "retaliation" against our cruelty.

Genuinely I think the hate mail on this went on for like 1-2 months. Some really really ugly vile shit was sent mixed in with some really funny shit. Questions were pondered such as, "Wait a minute—how is everyone defining autonomy???" "Is a demon tricking Sam a violation of Sam's autonomy?"" "Do Deangirls just want to give all of Sam's Super Special Traumas to Dean, who has never been through anything, ever?" "How many incidents can PK come up with where Sam violated Dean's autonomy within 3 minutes?" I posted the aforementioned blackmail uquiz, and Courtney gave all of us this incredible baby Sam image that shall live on in infamy (and haunt all of our dreams).

Psychic!Dean or: Sam's stolen valor part 2

I believe it all started when Laura ilarual made a post talking about a funny headcanon they came up with in a discord server, wherein Dean managing to predict the future fairly frequently is actually a display of latent psychic abilities Dean isn't aware he has. Courtney Queermania also joked about it, which is a crime punishable by death, because Courtney (a completely normal, nice person) is actually the devil incarnate according to a variety of hate anons who have targeted them nonstop since February 2023 for literally no fucking reason.

This resulted in this hate mail, and also blended with the general autonomy disk horse that was still going on in Courtney's inbox at the time.

I think what was funny to everyone about Psychic!Dean was how spitting mad it made people for absolutely no reason other than it was somehow perceived as "stolen valor" by samgirls. I started shitposting after that about how Dean can sense hidden rooms. Psychic!Dean has become one of my favorite headcanons since—we're all rather fond of it now.

Gun Safety: A Commentary on pillows and black store clerks

This is two different diskhorses in a trenchcoat that happened with deancrit destiels/casgirls. Once again—me and my friends never went on anyone's page to interact with anyone in a negative way.

This disk horse had two related flavors: is Dean bad and evil and the devil incarnate for 1) sleeping with a gun under his pillow and/or 2) Shooting Jack in the back to get his attention and keep him from strangling a black store clerk to death? Also, are either or both of these things abusive because of... the lack of gun safety?

I suppose you can guess what side deancrit casgirls landed on regarding both of these issues. It was suggested that the sheer possibility that Dean might hurt poor white baby Jack's feefees should trump the life of the innocent black store clerk he was strangling to death in a rage. Naturally.

Regarding the former vein of discourse: Someone got really really mad at Victoria angelsdean and me for making posts on our own blogs that didn't frame Dean as the source of all evil in the world for having a gun under his pillow, and started going through our blogs reblogging things and being an insufferably condescending asshat in tags with a very transparent goal. Among their complaints, were that "The Prisoner" is an incidence of "domestic violence" against Cas, and that Cas shoving his hand into a child's chest to feel for his soul causing him excruciating pain is perfectly fine, but Dean sleeping with a gun under his pillow is *looks at notes* abusive to Jack. Also they thought it was very important to remind all of us that their dad was in the army for some reason.

I was completely unable to take any of this seriously. If you haven't been on my page long, you might not be very familiar with my potty mouth, but it's important here. I've been here a long enough time that I've seen countless kind people get hate bombed by ugly disgusting assholes in this fandom, and this year I simply had enough. Somewhere around the 20th time I saw fellow deangirls get absolutely vile messages from deancrits or obnoxiously condescending reblogs full of nonsense in the year of our lord 2023, I started endeavoring to embarrass them. One way I did this was by equating deancrits who come onto deangirls blogs to police their posts and act like insufferable condescending assholes... with a dude who walks into a men's locker room and immediately whips his dick out. Everyone else is clothed, but this one dude starts running around naked, showing everyone his cock and going "LOOK HOW BIG MY COCK IS. SUCK ON IT" and not only is he being annoying and weird and harassing people—his dick is actually tiny. Basically I began saying, "Stop whipping your dick out on everybody else's blogs, acting like your cock is big and huge and bulging and I need to get down on my knees and suck it. No one is going to suck you tiny cock just because you decided to whip it out."

I used this metaphor with the person who was being a condescending ass on my blog. I promptly got accused of making "violent sexual threats" by one of their friends, and then another one showed up to tell me, "If internet cancellation were real, you would be so cancelled for this." I changed my header to say, “Cancelled by Ligma Balls” and blocked like 6 people and my blog has been blessedly free of deancrit casgirls throwing tantrums and trying to hit me with their babyhands since.

[supernaturalkickparty]

Seeing some fandom wank on shipping this Sunday morning and all I can think of is- its not real. its for fun.

"but the people/actors are real!!" yes, but are they physically being hurt? are they being harmed in any way shape or form? no??? then let people ship what they want.

I may like something you may not like and that's ok. Not everyone will like the same thing.

Plus you curate your own experience here on tumblr dot com. You choose what you want to see.

I post a ton of different things, I also tag everything because I know some mutuals don't want to see whats being posted.

I am also deathly terrified of sharks but i have that tag and variations of the tag blocked because I curate what I want on my blog.

I don't care for Destiel at all, but i have it blacklisted so I wont see it but again, I have mutuals who do ship and post and I'm like 👍because that's their thing. I'm not gonna be ugly and tell them their ship is wrong or anything like that because you're allowed to ship whatever the hell you want.

Just like yes I do ship wincest but I also post and love the gen canon aspect of Sam and Dean because I can separate what I ship from what's actually canon.

Same with rpf, whether is wrestling, actors, whatever, whoever, you ship, just ship them and have fun.

The only time I have an issue with anything is when people force their ships on one another, force their NSFW fics/fanart on the actors, or they harass said actors on validity of a ship.

let fandom spaces stay fun and don't be a dick.