#wreckwrites

[omniscientwreck]

can I get some shadowgast and 31?

You sure can! Thank you for requesting!!

If you, the reader, would also like to make a request you can find the prompt list here!

31: reading books together

"This passage is particularly interesting, take a look." 

"Darling I'm in the middle of a page here, give me a minute please." Caleb sometimes seems to forget not everyone has his memory and if Essek looks away now he'll have to start the entire page over. 

He can feel the impatient bounce of Caleb's knee where his ankles are crossed and resting. Everything moves so fast in his mind, it's like he's able to seamlessly incorporate new information into the finely tuned machine of things he's always thought and spit out something entirely new at the end. 

Essek places a marker in his book, not finishing the page in anticipation of whatever discovery Caleb has made. The book drifts down to the coffee table and much to the cat snuggled in his lap's dismay, he shifts over to lean into Caleb's considerable warmth and read from where he's pointing. 

A warm hand snakes around his waist, pressing them together and Essek reads the passage of the Aeorian journal Caleb is so excited by. "Well if that's true the implications are quite astounding. Let me show you something here." He goes to reach for the book on the coffee table but the hand around his waist holds. "Caleb, I need to be able to reach the book to tell you what it says." 

Caleb tightens his grip and gets the sweet whiny tone to his voice that only Essek knows, "You have magic for that, stay here." 

Chuckling under his breath, Essek brings the book over with Mage Hand, "You are lucky I'm so fond of you, making me waste my magic like that." 

A kiss, pressing warmth and sweet love into the crown of his head, "Hardly a waste if it means I do not have to be apart from you."

Essek smirks up at him, eyes not leaving the page he has to start over now. "I can leave you know." He makes as if to get up but a cat elects to make his chest their bed and Caleb laughs. 

Essek leans back, pressing a kiss into his smile and settles back, leaning his head into Caleb's lap and levitating the book above his head. "What was that about wasting magic Schatz?" 

"Fritz is on my side here. You have to obey the will of this cat." He runs his hand through Essek's hair, undoing the half hour of work he'd put into it this morning and Essek sighs. 

"Far be it from me to upset this beast. Now, that passage I told you about."

He reads it aloud to Caleb who loves the sound of his voice and eventually, as they spin out theories and what ifs both books end up piled on top of each other. Voices full of warmth drift out the open window out into the warm streets of Rexxentrum; and two broken men choose peace and happiness over and over again.

[meggie-stardust]

Fic writing lightning round:

-What fandoms have you written fics for?

-Do you have any original stuff?

-What's your oldest fic?

-What story are you most proud of?

-What stories are in the works?

-Where can I read your stuff?

hey thanks for the ask! <3

-What fandoms have you written fics for? oh gosh, too many to name over the last 20 years I've been active in fandom. Sometimes, I've just written a short drabble or something in a fandom, or started a WIP but never finished it...

According to AO3, my top fandoms are: 1. Teen Wolf 2. Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus 3. Sherlock (BBC) 4. Merlin

-Do you have any original stuff? Not that's published anywhere. I have a lot of docs with half fleshed out ideas, but nothing that's gotten anywhere. And I'm ok with that. I like writing fic for fun, and I have to write a decent amount of quasi-creative stuff for work, so I'm good with the balance I have.

-What's your oldest fic? I legitimately don't know. The first fic I actually wrote would have been in 2000/2001 and probably posted to either a yahoo! mailing list or to the Gundam Wing Addiction message boards... And I have no idea what that was. Around that time, I would have also posted stuff to ffn but I am pretty sure i purged that account.

After a fandom break, I returned to fandom and posted my first fic to AO3 on 3 Jan 2022 called Three Words, which was a drabble and a more or less real time reaction to "A Scandal in Belgravia" which aired two days prior, so I guess I hit my 10 year anniversary of my return to fandom this year.

-What story are you most proud of? I feel like this changes every time I post something new, but I'm really proud of At This Truth We Have Arrived, which was just posted this month. I think I had different take on some of the common tropes in Steter fic, and I think that I've really found my voice over the last year or so.

-What stories are in the works? I'm working on the 3rd story in the Our Love Keeps The Things It Finds universe (with a 4th and 5th one in early planning stages). I've also been kicking around another sequel to a one shot a wrote a few years back...

I'm also aware that Secret Santa time is fast approaching, so I'm trying to think about things I could possibly create for that. I've participated since 2016...

-Where can I read your stuff? I'm Wreck on AO3, and I have a secondary tumblr that I haven't used in a while, but there are some tumblr fics floating around on @wreckwrites as well...

Thanks for asking all this! <3

[scorchedshipwreck]

you can call me Kid / scorch / shipwreck / scorchedshipwreck Pronouns: rot/rots + xe/xem preferably but any neos are fine Age: 20 y/o Bday: 10/30 My sona - agender aroace asshole - artist, shitposter, & writer

sideblogs

- @incorrectminecraftaskblogs​  - @ask-bastion-dwellers - @discarded-discs - @heavy-hurtcomfort -

fandoms

-Minecraft is my main fandom and has been for a pretty big while! Not just askblogs but just the game in general. I love it and I have a bunch of minecraft mob OCs. who i will GLADLY infodump about.

-Animal crossing - helluva boss - hazbin hotel - stardew valley - night in the woods - just shapes & beats - donut county - coffee talk - hollow knight - inanimate insanity - battle for dream island - untitled goose game - deltarune/undertale - human fall flat - paper mario. not as emotionally attached to any of these fandoms but i will talk about em if prompted.

Tagging

-art tag is #my art / #ScorchArt -writing tag is #my writing / #WreckWrites -vents are tagged #kid complains -random text posts are tagged #shipwreck shrieks -vents are tagged #kid complains -content with my sona is tagged #the drowned player

[biblioteknician]

Congrats! You got me listening to Hamilton. Fuck it's amazing.

YES GOOD

THIS IS THE BEST POSSIBLE MESSAGE I COULD COME HOME TO

I AM DOING THE LORD’S WORK

(how hard do you cry in act 2 because i have yet to get through it without crying like a child)

[omniscientwreck]

"I'm Lost Without You"

Had a friend roll me a d100 for the list of drabble prompts (you can request one if you want, they're here)

No angst zone, only smarts and fluff here!

Caleb has been over this problem several times. He sits on the plush carpeting in his office at the Soltryce Academy and he’s been here for hours. Books are open in a circle around him and the entire floor is papered in notes.

A student had asked a particularly intriguing question regarding the ethics of enchantment magic and despite it being Advanced Transmutation he’d promised them he would think about it for next class and get back to them. Now he was deep in a rabbit hole of research and had somehow worked his way around to tearing apart the layers of the equations of Geas to try and more deeply consider how it affects the mind, but something is missing.

He breaks from the frenzy he’s been in as the door opens, “Sorry office hours are over, I’m in the middle of something here.”

“I wasn’t aware I needed an appointment Caleb Widogast.”

His gaze snaps up, magnetically drawn to the sound of his name. Standing in his door way is a dark skinned elven man with short, tight curls and fine delicate features. He wears fine clothes and looks down at Caleb with a bemused smirk.

“Ach Schatz I’m sorry I kept you waiting, I got ah - involved in something. A student inquiry I found most fascinating. I am, however, stuck with deconstructing these equations.”

Essek settles on his knees beside Caleb, gently moving aside a few papers, “Show me, maybe I can help. Fresh eyes and all that.”

This is one of Caleb’s favourite ways to be with Essek. Intellect flying, swatting theories back and forth until they begin to take a proper shape. At one point Essek makes an invaluable insight and Caleb relishes in being able to lean over to kiss him softly and mutter “Brilliant mein Liebchen.”

On the other hand, Essek delights in small, soft touches as Caleb is talking and he’s processing. Sometimes as Caleb talks he’ll lay a hand on his knee or rub circles into his back. As Caleb’s hand cramps from writing Essek takes the quill and finishes the thought before taking Caleb’s hand in his and rubbing out the aches.

Eventually he catches it. Essek is slightly more familiar with Enchantment than him and he notices an incorrect rune in the textbook Caleb had based his work on. “Ah that is, well it’s a stupid mistake to be sure but thank you for righting me. I’m lost without you.”

Essek’s hands go to cup his face, slender fingers scratching just slightly into his beard, “Darling you’re not lost, just exhausted. Let’s go home, I’ll make some tea.”

“Ja, that sounds wonderful.”

Not bothering with walking Essek stands and helps Caleb lift onto his feet before beginning the incantation for Teleport, leaving the office a chaotic mess to be dealt with in the morning.

[omniscientwreck]

ooo, how about 38 - just sleeping together for shadowgast?

Hello! I hope you enjoy this cute lil sleepy drabble coming from someone who is very sleepy <3

38: Just Sleeping Together

Caleb has been up all night and wins the deep satisfaction of opening the door to their room and seeing his husband already in a trance. Essek sits on the bed, spine perfectly straight, even at rest. Caleb shuts the door quietly, letting Karl out of the room where he’s been patiently waiting. He takes a moment to watch Essek in the moonlight before exchanging his clothes for loose cloth sleep pants and goes over to shutter the windows.

The moonlight filters in through thin white curtains and it casts a clear, cool light on purple skin and delicate pointed ears. He glows like this and he’s full of peace with features settled in a way that he would think unflattering. To Caleb, it’s beautiful to see the natural state of his face, free of worry. Walking back to the bed, he sits carefully. Essek feels his weight somewhere in the back of his mind.

Caleb lays back and reaches for Essek’s hand at its place on the blanket and is delighted when a head thuds back onto the pillow beside him and he’s pulled into the drow’s chest. There’s the slight rumble of the snore he vehemently denies while awake and Essek, as if pulled by a magnet, tucks himself under Caleb’s chin. Hair catches in his beard as Essek curls into his warmth.

Essek is usually a little cold and Caleb tightens his embrace. He feels the gentle rise and fall of his back and holds him close, replaying their firsts in his mind as he drifts asleep.

The first thing he notices is the absence of the heat in his arms. Then, through the darkness he hears someone calling his name. A hand cupping his face, gentle shakes. He breathes in sharply and opens his eyes, hearing the memory of a snore. Through bleary eyes he sees Essek sitting up in bed. “Darling you were snoring quite badly. It sounded painful.” His eyes hold Caleb like a precious thing, like he’s afraid he’ll forget his face and there’s a fond smile stretched across perfect features.

“I am sorry for the things I cannot control mein Liebchen I will endeavor to do better next time.” He’s trying for sarcasm but he’s been pulled out of such a deep sleep he’s delirious and his words have no bite as his eyes come into focus on sharp cheekbones and long white lashes.

“Here, I am awake for the day, it’s better if you sleep on your back.” He rolls Caleb over and tucks himself under his arm to lay his head on Caleb’s heart and he runs his hand along the expanse of his chest. Caleb lets sleep take him again, while Essek lays in his arms and sinks into dreams of their life.

Eyes fluttering awake, small beams of yellow light shine through the shuttered windows and Essek lies beside him, putting down a book and turning to the newly roused human. Humming low he kisses him gently, “You are so pretty when you sleep love.”

“Oh ja?” Caleb turns to his side and lies, looking into stark violet eyes, far too alert for how Caleb feels, “You snore in the most endearing way, and you’re truly radiant illuminated by the moon.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere, we’re already married you know.” Caleb kisses Essek’s laugh and they spend the morning like so many before and after, basking in the company of each other with Caleb drifting in and out of a half-sleeping state and Essek watching over him the whole time.

[omniscientwreck]

Hi🖤 If you would like a Shadowgast Prompt how about Essek Helping Caleb during/after a Failed Wisdom save /fire flashback.

Hello! I'm so so sorry this took so long. I tried starting it a number of times and just couldn't get it right, but I finally got it! I hope you enjoy <3

The cart burst into flames, incinerating the last of their assailants and Essek’s Echo dissipates after firing off one last spell. They’d been ambushed on the road in a fashion that should have been familiar but, frankly, neither of them had been paying attention. They’d been deep into a discussion on the implications of consecution as they’d been attacked by a number of humanoids. It hadn’t exactly been difficult, moreso long until one got a good hit in on Essek, breaking concentration and Caleb had lobbed fire towards their cart, taking out two archers and Essek’s Echo took the last swordsman. Essek opens a health potion and sighs as he feels the wound start to mend and the blood congeal.

Coming back to the space around them he notices Caleb on his hands and knees, body wracked with shaking breaths. “Caleb are you hurt?” He darts over and Caleb does not respond. There’s no blood, no obvious sign of wounds, just shaking and staring into the ground.

It clicks into place all at once, he’d told Essek about his parents and the fire. Caleb has retracted his stance to sit back on his knees and he now openly stares towards the flames, looking past them to some faraway place. At first Essek is unsure of how much contact he’s allowed to make but his breaths are still shallow and threaten to turn again.

He spreads his hand between his shoulder blades, Caleb doesn’t really respond. He starts to rub circles in and begins a one-sided conversation. He is no stranger to panic and his mind drifted to his younger brother who used to talk him through the worst ones. “Have I ever told you I have a brother? He’s younger than me but annoyingly tall and broad-shouldered. I don’t think you ran into him in Bazzoxan but he is stationed there as the Task Hand.” He keeps his voice soft and low as Caleb leans into him and he reaches around to enclose him in his arms.

“He used to annoy the Light out of me when we were young. I developed my levitation because as soon as he’d gained half an inch on me I never heard the end of it. That spell took me a long while, a good five years at my skill level at the time.” As he strays away from talk of family and goes back into their usual comfortable conversation Caleb’s breathing becomes steady and strong. Essek had hardly noticed but he’d at some point begun running his fingers through the mage’s hair. Though he’s embarrassed when he realizes what he’s doing when he drops his hand Caleb’s gaze flickers to him. Just briefly, afraid to ask for what he needs. He continues, describing the trial and error, his period of experimentation and the time he couldn’t drop it for days and he had been cursed to float around the estate.

He told Caleb of the exact moment he’d balanced the equation and by the end he’s begun to ask questions. He shifts away once Essek is done and can hardly look into his eyes, “I perhaps should have warned you. It happens less often now but sometimes I get - well like that.”

Essek shakes his head, “Please, do not worry. I understand and I can only hope I was of assistance.” That night, when they’re in the tower they fall asleep reading side by side on a narrow couch. When Essek emerges from his trance he realizes he’s leaned heavily into Caleb’s side, the mage’s arm wrapped loosely around him. When he tries to extract himself he’s held back and so there he stays.

---------------

Thanks for reading! I'm accepting prompts (list here) please send me requests for short lil Critical role fic!

[omniscientwreck]

For the drabble prompt list, shadowgast 44 if you're feeling fluff or 97 if you're feeling angst. c:

Thaaaaaaaank you so much for this! I was feeling fluffy tonight so welcome to domestic!Shadowgast <3

Disabling the arcane lock on the door, Caleb steps in from the cold streets of Rexxentrum. Closing it and re-enabling his wards, he leans back against the door and sighs. It’s been a long week, from grading final papers to writing the exams for his students’ finals before the term break he’s hardly had a moment to himself.

Gertrude, a tortoiseshell bundle of terror runs full speed at the door and pounces on his foot, back feet kicking at his shoes. He scoops her up and kicks off his shoes as she climbs up his shoulders. “Ah yes thank you for the company miss. Where are the rest of your friends hah?” She gives a small meow from right beside his ear, curled across his shoulders like a scarf. It reminds him of someone from years ago and he smiles, scratching her behind the ears.

There’s a crash from the kitchen followed by mumbled cursing and he hears the tell-tale sounds of two cats wrestling, most likely Irving and Johann. Good-natured growls and the soft ‘bap’ of clawless swats come tearing into the room as Caleb pulls up a firebolt and crouches, nobody is supposed to be home.

He rounds the corner into the kitchen and sees, standing and not floating, Essek Thelyss. “Caleb? What are you doing?”

“Oh Schatz, it’s just you.” He extinguishes the flame that’s been curling around his hand and surveys the scene in front of him. Essek has been cooking? No, baking. Fingerprints of flour decorate his face and there’s an entire handprint on his shirt. He’s never seen him wear that before. Wait a moment, “Essek,” he looks over, raising his brows as he sifts flour, “Is that my shirt?”

He looks down and there’s a small magenta flush that creeps across his cheeks. “Well, it’s just. You were gone and it’s been a while since I’ve seen you and I had some difficulties during travel so my own clothing was quite torn and-” Caleb strides over to cut off his ramblings with a kiss. He embraces him, and pulls back, smoothing his thumb over a smudge of flour and Essek buries his face in his hand to kiss his palm, “I thought I would surprise you.”

He laughs and the stress of his week melts away in his partner’s arms. “You certainly surprised me liebling. I’ve missed you dearly.” Gertrude has jumped off his shoulders now and swats a cup off the counter, upset with attention being pulled. Essek throws out a hand to catch it before it shatters. They spend the night in the kitchen working their way through several bottles of wine as Essek demonstrates the baking skills he’d learned from Jester and Caleb details his exploits in the classroom.

[omniscientwreck]

With Every Single Thing I Have

Beginning note: ***MAJOR SPOILERS FOR C2 E141***

CW: Character Death, Talk of Death

This is my interpretation of the canon description of Essek and Caleb’s days with some good angst thrown right in there. I have no knowledge of what is or isn’t cannon about the afterlife in Critical Role so this may be canon divergent but I needed it to cope. I hope you enjoy! Title Is Taken From The Song Two by Sleeping At Last

Caleb Widogast is dying.

He’s old, nearly 90 years of age. His body aches with every rain, stairs become more difficult, but his casting never fades. His mind is sharp and he reads, learns, and teaches until the end comes for him. Up in his tower, exhausted and bed-ridden he hears shuffling outside the door before it opens without so much as a touch and a tray of food is brought in. Essek Thelyss glides gently into the room, “Oh good, you’re awake. I prepared a light lunch for you, would you eat?”

Nodding back at the drow, the bittersweet smile that’s become a companion to him in Essek’s presence settling again into his wrinkled features. Essek sits on the bed beside him, book in hand as he often does and the memories written all over Caleb’s face come flooding back.

They had gone back to Aeor after the business in Rexxentrum concluded. Jester had helped Caleb locate Essek and when he found out he wasn’t too late, he was still at the outpost, he’d gone almost immediately. The winter clothes they’d bought all those months ago to chase their lost friend still fit and they carried many memories in them with the promise of more to come.

Their time together in Aeor was long. They took many months scouring the ruins for every book they could find. Between his Vault of Amber and Essek’s Wristpocket as well as a borrowed bag of holding they were able to collect the knowledge of Aeor. They found every device, every tiny dunamantic stone. They went back to the machine, the one that promised Caleb his dreams, closure, a chance to atone. The one that could change Essek’s past, that would give him his freedom.

Essek gazed upon the machine and he decided to remain in hiding. He looked directly at Caleb, made the decision to live forever with the consequences of his actions, because without them they wouldn’t have this. This moment, this trip, these memories.

It is Caleb’s turn now to gaze upon his destiny. He looks into the lavender eyes boring into him with the question Will you do it? His plan is perfect, the only thing that changes is that his parents are not dead and one day maybe he can reunite with them. He can see them grown old, he can tell them everything he’s done. They can be proud of him.

His mind shifts to the Nein, to Veth, Jester. To Astrid and Eodwulf. Back to Essek. It’s impossible to know what would happen if he did this. If he’d be able to come back. Is it really worth giving up everything he knows? Potentially giving up the Mighty Nein not only for himself but for them too?

He reaches into his components bag, smears dust across his forearm and with a green ray he carves away the experiment. He destroys, permanently, any hope of ever going back, in favour of hope for the future. Essek helps him burn everything and when they’re done he can only stare at the drow. The man who’s come so far, allowed himself to be so changed by the love of friends (Caleb’s love) that he went from enemy to beloved companion. He stares and divergent futures flash before his eyes as if he’s staring deep into the Luxon. They all end the same, he dies and Essek lives on without him for many years. The change is in the times in between now and then.

He knows which one he want and if the last two months were any indication Essek had his own hopes.

A week or so later, they ate in the tower. When the Nein first separated the tower had felt empty, he usually elected to sleep in a hotel room or in the dome under the stars. With Essek it’s easier to be there. They’ve fallen into a comfortable routine while researching that involves them spending the day immersed in ancient secrets forgotten to time. They would spend hours in complete silence, reading in tandem or copying runes and arcane patterns and then one of them would find something truly tantalizing and the silence would be broken as they began theorizing. When Essek gets excited his lavender eyes brighten and his whole face lifts and it’s no secret to Caleb that his heart races and his face melts into a soft, tender expression that Essek catches and matches.

After, they’ll go into the tower and eat, served warm soups and breads by little fey cats and then they read in the study in companionable silence until they retire to separate rooms. This night, a week before their time was up, Caleb’s keen mind caught up with him. Suddenly he became very aware of the passage of time, the potential futures slipping away and he rests his spoon on the table, overwhelmed by the shrinking timeline ahead.

They talk that night, instead of reading. They sit in two armchairs in a quiet carpeted room lit by purple globules of light, gently bobbing around their heads and they talk. They talk for hours. Essek tells Caleb his sins and Caleb elaborates on his own. They talk plainly and it’s hard to do, but at some point the chairs moved closer, and then their hands touched, eventually Essek’s hands were folded into Caleb’s.

He felt closer to Essek after that. For the rest of the week it was easier to reach out and grasp his hand, to pull him into a hug. Two weeks later, they talked again and after that they kissed. Their kisses weren’t frequent but they were familiar, a warm comfort over those last weeks in Aeor.

Theirs was not a whirlwind romance. It was something more precious and much more difficult to describe. It burned slow and and steadily rose until something had to be done. They kept in close contact after Aeor, it is those letters that begin the new collection that fills Caleb’s left holster.

They visit occasionally until the burn of the eyes of the Dynasty on Essek’s back became too hot. Caleb has taken to staying in Nicodranas when he and Beauregard are taking a break from dismantling centuries old systems to weed out the rot so he asks Essek to come stay with him. Quietly, out of the eyes of the empire and most of their friends, they begin to build a life. They construct with care, laying a sturdy foundation because though they both know this arrangement is temporary they promise to always be together in one way or another; because though gravity can be altered, it always rights itself and the pull Caleb feels towards Essek, has felt for some time, is a law of his nature.

They allow themselves as long as the other will have them and they spend years together. The kisses become more frequent as they gradually abandon inhibitions. Caleb’s life is a blink compared to Essek and he becomes more aware each year of the limited time he has. He and Essek stay together in varying locations for as long as he can bear it, he realizes now that they have earned this happiness, however fleeting. It will always be a larger portion of his life than it will be of Essek’s so he holds out as long as he can. He begins to teach in this time and though Essek cannot really be free he still has his work studying their findings and occasionally he travels.

Caleb watches him advance so much in their decade together and he gets bleary eyed imagining all Essek will do when he’s gone. They learn together, share every meal, he learns Undercommon and teaches Zemnian, and they spend every possible night together in every possible way. They share a sweet and intense passion and Caleb’s love sinks deeper and deeper into his heart.

When his forehead wrinkles and his hair is greying he realizes his time is up. He has goals, he needs to teach, he needs to fully commit to being in the Empire and his short life must be spent doing as he promised all those years ago, making each place better than he found it. That is the hardest conversation he’s ever had. “I wish it were not this way. That it didn’t have to be, but I do not have as much time as you so I must burn brightly to make my impact. I will always love you Essek Thelyss.”

“And I you Caleb Widogast. When you stumbled into my life all those years ago, Empire infiltrator holding my greatest crime in your hand I had no idea what would happen. You were a variable I did not account for, could never have foreseen. Of all the possible futures in store for me this one, where I am here with you, where I have been here with you for ten years and where I will continue to be by your side thought it is not the same is the best one I could have never predicted.”

They give themselves one last year. They don’t travel, Caleb takes the year off and they spend 328 days exactly together, in bliss. They do their best not to allow the apprehension of good-bye to creep in. Caleb knows it’s not good-bye, not truly and not forever. But when the day comes though he tries to hold it back he cries bitter tears and holds Essek tight and the smaller man shakes with his own sobs. But they loved each other for eleven years, and they manage to continue loving each other for another fourty or so.

Essek leaves and travels for a while to do his own work. This is frequent in the latter half of Caleb’s life but every time he comes back and his friend brings him stories and listens to all of his own. They help each other research, Caleb still tells him everything and relishes every moment they spend together. They no longer kiss but they are still partners.

Caleb’s life has been better, more fulfilling than he could ever have hoped stumbling out of that wretched prison at the beginning of his second life. He learned peace through the Nein and later through Essek and now that he’s at the end of his time he knows he could not have lived a better life.

Caleb Widogast is old, older than he ever thought he’d be and while his bones and muscles give out and he goes to the Blooming Grove where Caduceus has always said he will end up, to spend his final months, Essek follows.

He cooks the soups the cats used to, they remember everything together, Caleb’s mind keen but Essek has kept up well. At just the right time, Caleb knows. Essek is sat beside him in the bed, the wizards reading in tandem as they’ve done before and fallen into again in this late stage. They have been kissing again, Caleb allowing this last indulgence, one last selfish act. Essek needs it too.

“Essek Thelyss, thank you for everything you’ve done for me. My constant companion, the center of my gravity. You who bent time and space for me and taught me so many things from magic to forgiveness. I have loved you all my life from the moment I could and I would never dream to change a single thing.”

“Caleb Widogast. I have treasured every moment we have spent together, you changed my life, saved a man who knew not that he was dying. I have been happy because I know you and I will continue to be happy because you will never be far from my heart.”

“Please promise to me that you will take care of the others. Allow them to care for you. Find new people and care for them and allow yourself to be cared for in return, live your life as fully as you are able, and when you are done I will see you again just as I am about to see my family.”

“I will. You have loved me all of your life and I will love you for all of mine. I will never know someone like you again. Thank you for allowing me the privilege of your companionship. It is an honor to love you and it always will be.”

The quiet conversation fades and they share one final kiss and Essek sits as Caleb drifts to sleep, gently running his fingers through his hair. Then he goes to get Caduceus. Caleb Widogast is dead.

---------------------------------

Essek Thelyss is dying.

He is nearly 740 years old and he is in decline. He, like his friends before him, retires to the Blooming Grove to live out his remaining days, however many they might be. Caduceus’ kin are caring and when he shows up on their doorstep they expect him. “He told us you would arrive one day. Welcome home and thank you for being here.”

Essek’s life has been a thing of remarkable chance, nearly improbable. He has learned to manipulate as much as he can but even he could not have foreseen the path he ended up taking. He has lived so long, and his life has been full but he is tired.

Fjord had been the first of the Nein to pass. After him Caleb. After Caleb the group coalesced around him. They had never shared many details, but they seemed to know. Keeping his promise to Caleb he allowed them to care for him. To bring him food, to message him to make sure he was okay. They invited him on adventures when they needed and he never turned them down.

They continued asking him to teleport them and every single time he did. Kingsley goes next and then Beauregard. Those years are full of so much loss condensed into such a tiny portion of his existence. He isn’t used to things happening so quickly and he begins to reach out. New connections. He finds people to care for, to mentor and to bolster. He dedicates his life to using aliases to research and study and publish materials to help the mages after him and Caleb. He finds himself beseeched by parties of assholes for assistance and while he never fights alongside another group he makes himself useful in any other way in his ability.

He always imparts the lesson to leave the world better than they found it, and if they listen, if they are the same as his friends, the best people he’s ever known, the world will survive yet. There is a pause between good-byes for a number of years. Then he loses Yasha and Jester. Jester is one of the hardest, the friendly little blue tiefling with a heart for adventure who hugged him when touch had still burned. After her goes Veth and after Veth, finally Caduceus goes back to the earth.

He promised Caleb to live a full life, but every year, the anniversary of the day they met several lifetimes ago, he visits the Blooming Grove. He walks the grounds, he sits with Caleb and he tells him of his research, he reminisces and he whispers love to the flowers that grow. They are fiery orange and yellow with some deep purple and blue spattered among them. Caduceus says on his first visit that the blue ones are called forget-me-nots. Essek picks one every year and presses it into a book, like Yasha showed him once upon a time.

Caduceus and Essek drink the tea from the flowers Caleb gave them. For centuries they sat together, telling stories, having extended conversation year after year. Some years Caduceus travelled so Essek made his vigil alone, but he never forgot Caleb and he never forgot the Mighty Nein. They lived as long as he did for they were in his heart always.

The last time he visits Caleb they talk for hours. “Every good thing I have done, every positive emotion and happiness I have known in these centuries has been because of you. You allowed me to feel again and the best decision I could have ever made was letting my plan go to allow myself to grow close to you.”

He is lying beside the grave twirling a delicate blue flower between wrinkled, aching fingers. “Caleb Widowgast you have lived with me for a long while and I thank you again for the gifts you gave me while you were here. I hope you are proud of me. I love you to the end of my days my friend.”

He falls asleep then, in the night of the Blooming Grove, fireflies and an infinite expanse of stars casting gentle light across his stilling form.

As Essek Thelyss fades he finds himself again in a garden. It is brightly coloured and lush, well cared for. There is a small cottage there and as he glides to the door, drawn to it as if by gravity, it opens and he sees copper hair, vibrant blue eyes, and the widest smile he’s missed the most, “I told you my friend, we would meet again.”

“I never doubted you Caleb Widogast.”

[omniscientwreck]

oooo how about 44 with fjorester?

Hello!! Here is your request, it's my first time writing fjorester so I hope you like it! (Reminder, I still love all these prompts and might roll myself a few more to write but please if you'd like to leave a request they're here)

44. Meditating or sharing spirituality together

“Fjord, stay still I’m almost done.” Jester whispers from above his shoulders where she currently stands. It’s been nearly five minutes and she’s still perfecting the hairs on the balls of the dick she’s decorating another ship at port with. She’d said the traveller was getting antsy and he asked why Artagan couldn’t help her with this but she insisted it was important.

Now, they’re about a minute from getting caught by a very wealthy merchant and he doesn’t relish the idea of explaining their way out of this. “Okay done! Letmedownletmedown!” He helps her climb down and quickly surveys her handiwork.

A green shimmer flits over the paint, drying it instantly. “It’s a good dick, you were going for a more realistic approach?”

She giggles, tugging his wrist to begin their casual walk away from the vessel, just as the owner rounds the corner. He throws his arm around her, pressing a kiss first to her temple and then to her grin. They look just normal enough to disappear from sight by the time they hear a startled, “What the fuck is this!” from behind. At that point they’re far enough gone it’s easy to pretend they don’t hear his calls for if they saw anyone. It’s thrilling and invigorating and looking into her face, smile stretched wide and sparkling eyes give away the same exuberant joy.

She looks so herself and so satisfied with their exploits. “Thank you for helping me with that Fjord. I think it’s important you know, to do these kinds of things together. To share our faith.” She does an impression of a fancy priest, evangelizing to the masses and they break into easy laughter.

“Well, one day when we’re out again, maybe I’ll share some of my own.”

-----

“Fjord is this going to be boring?” They haven’t even started yet.

“Jester, it is as interesting as you make it. Just try, maybe you’ll like it.” He hadn’t anticipated this being quite so important to him, but Melora protects them on the sea. She brought them Kingsley who, while he hasn’t sailed with them in years, is a dear part of their lives. It’s important to him that she tries and she can clearly see that in his features as she reaches her hands across to him, where they’re seated and nods.

“I will do my best.” she solemnly pledges.

“Okay. So what I like to do is find a point of beauty in nature. That’s why sunset is easiest, everything looks beautiful in the dimming light. I focus on that for a while and eventually I just… feel her. It’s indirect and kind of strange to describe with words.”

She nods, very serious and they sit, looking out over the ocean from the crow’s nest. The sun is bright and he can’t look directly into it but he looks at the water below it. The water that keeps them adrift and the water that holds so much life. He watches, and eventually his eyes close though he hardly notices. The sea is all around him, the smell is refreshing and his breathing slows. The breeze carries a scent of flowers that reminds him of Caduceus and he hopes that Caduceus sometimes breathes in ocean air and knows he’s thinking of him.

Eventually, he realizes that it’s dark and that the Sun has nearly set. He opens his eyes, and to his surprise Jester’s eyes are still closed. She’s definitely not snoring and he thinks that maybe it’s worked. In the waning light she looks radiant and his love for her rings through him like a clear bell. She opens her eyes not long after, “Fjord that was really cool! I smelled so many things!”

He smiles broadly and her eyes are bright, “Tell me about them.”

“Well there were flowers, I think that was for Caduceus and lavender for my momma, the sea smelled better. It was like really calm. Thank you for sharing that with me Fjord.”

They stay for awhile, atop the world and watch silhouettes of islands in the distance, planning their next adventure.

[omniscientwreck]

Like Waves Upon An Open Shore

Pieces of this conversation came to me late last night and I couldn't write anything else until I got this out of my system. This is one in a series of pseudo-character study/ missed conversation fics I have on AO3. There's no lifespan angst here, it's more of a meditation on power and potential.

The first to approach him was Caduceus. After they’d imprisoned Ikithon they combined efforts to build back his home. It turns out that this is something Essek’s particular arcane flare is appropriate for. He is learning to accept that his power has limits and that it likely always will. He’s never had to worry about this before, even knowing that one day he will be among the dirt and there he will stay. He’s never had to consider that the flow of time and how it feeds and consumes life is something one might need to control. When it had hit him, when they’d needed the improbable and he could not deliver, he had cried for this man he’d never known save for fond rememberings told by happy words and sad eyes.

He had come to help them and when they needed him most he couldn’t even fail because he never could have started.

However, fixing a roof is practical. Spreading density until large loads of materials are manageable to carry, freezing objects in place as they’re affixed by regular means. He can be useful here and he is. In the first two days he uses all of his strength helping and at the end of the day he’s exhausted. But Caduceus also needed help with the garden. Yasha had shown him some basics and every night he worked with his hands, for the first time of his life bringing new beauty to a scarred earth.

The first night is quiet and he is alone with his thoughts. The eyes are gone and he can properly think again. The new one, Kingsley, sleeps outside but he’s been through a lot and it’s difficult for Essek to look at him knowing he did nothing. It’s difficult to look at Caleb. To look at any of them for the first day.

But he does. He is trying to learn humility, to learn that whatever ugly thing rises in him (guilt for things he can no longer change and selfishly wouldn’t, longing for someone he has no right to feel close to, regret at working with those who had hurt him so badly, sick satisfaction at seeing him stripped of power, the desire to end him then and there) is not always the most important thing. He works alongside the Nein still. He laughs when Jester jokes, he levitates Luc to catch the child’s attention when he’s being particularly mischievous, he attempts another joke which a few of them catch this time. He is there for them now, an imitation of the way they’ve been there for each other.

He digs into the earth in the cool breeze of dusk, removing his gloves now that the sun is fading on his second night there. He’s elected to tend to the graves of an elven family, many of whom have the last name Akhilvarr. He recognizes the surprisingly light footfalls of the firbolg approaching him as he gently holds two flowers, deciding.

“You’re up late.”

He places the plants down softly in front of the hole he’s dug out, brushing dirt from his bare hands, learning to relish the coating of grime, the feeling of having an impact on the world around you. “I don’t really sleep as much as the rest of you.” He hesitates and from the way Caduceus’ eyes bore through him he knows the statement has a second half, “And I feel like I need to be out here.”

He nods and sits, levelling eyes with Essek who’s still on his knees, facing the graves. “How are you feeling?”

The question is so simple but Essek cannot find an answer that is satisfactory, no words he’s ever known can accurately sum the corners of his heart. “It does not matter right now how I feel. Your home was nearly destroyed, you brought someone back from the dead. I dare not burden you with my own troubles.”

“Essek if I may,” he’s learned by now that Caduceus means this to be a precursor to a deep insight and though he is raw he allows him to continue, “there is a difference in being selfless and being harmful. Now I won’t force anything, only you can know if you’re ready to talk, but I never ask a question I don’t want an answer to.”

“I just-” he can feal traitorous heat as tears threaten to spill over his eyelashes and realizes he can’t wipe them away without streaking his face with mud. “All my life I have trained to be powerful. I have learned to manipulate the equations and theory that make up the way we experience the world. I can manipulate the lenses through which we understand the things around us. I have been touted as a prodigy and I couldn’t do anything to affect fate when it mattered to you all most. I am so thankful that you were there, that you and your god were able to fix a great injustice, but this is the last piece of my world shattering. I thought I could protect you all, to be useful in any circumstance and I was wrong.”

He stares into the two flowers and the purple one to the left blows in the wind, while the yellow remains still. He goes to tuck the purple bloom into the dirt and gently packs earth in around it, protecting roots and brushing dirt off leaves. Caduceus allows him to do this and by the time he looks back up at him, there’s a gentles smile at rest on his face. He knows Essek has more to say and he gestures for him to continue as Essek considers which flowers would most like to celebrate the Akhilvarr family.

“It’s funny, almost. I have heard much about the wonders of gardening and never believed a word. But here I am, dirt under my nails, digging in the earth, repairing damage for once in my sorry life, trying to leave somewhere better than I found it.” he finds a red flower with ruffled petals and a taller white flower who’s stem splits off into several tiny flowers, clustered into one sphere, they seem impatient.

“The gardens at my tower were never tended by myself, I had someone else to do that. They were arranged perfectly, planted with aesthetic and design in mind and little else. Looking idly at the beauty of nature is one thing, but this place-” He looks around, mosses give off a light glow as the sun has now disappeared. Slowly but surely fireflies blink to light up the air around them, dancing from leaf to petal. “I keep having the impulse to decide based on aesthetic. It’s difficult to ignore but-”

Caduceus fills in where he has no words, “That’s not your world anymore. I regret to inform you that as soon as we crossed your path your days of neat little boxes and even rows gained an expiry date. The world is so much wider than the machinations of people, we can never predict what is outside of our purview and when we take a step back, relinquish that control, often something more beautiful will spring up. I have tended this garden for many years, longer than the memory of many and I could never have dreamed up the beauty that lives here now. It gets more and more beautiful as each year grows on because the chaos is nurtured and you are learning that.” Caduceus grabs the trowel and begins digging his own hole, “You have come so far Essek and I do not know whether I have the right to feel this way, but I am immensely proud of you. I’m proud for who you are now, and who you are about to become.”

Essek laughs and it sounds like broken glass, “Proud is a funny word to use for someone who has done as much wrong as I.”

“Each decision we make is a point in a network of thousands of other decisions we make connected to webs of the decisions of everyone who has ever had a hand in our lives. If you and everyone around you acts in fear your decisions will be rooted there. Those are the times where we are most lost and I think you are beginning to realize that.”

Every bad decision flows through Essek’s consciousness and he lets them drift by, hands trembling, and the red flower with the beautiful frills slips from his grasp and falls into place in the hole beside the deep purple of the last planted bloom. It’s fate.

“So each bad decision you’ve made has crashed in on the wave of every other bad decision you’ve made, and every bad decision anyone has ever made about you. Now, every beautiful thing you do, every good decision you make will be carried forward by every good decision you’ve made before. It’s a web, it’s a network where everything is connected and you have as much agency now as you did then, every good decision counts towards every good decision you will make in the future and I know there will be many.”

Tears stream freely down his face now and he doesn’t care about the dirt as he wipes them away. “That is-”

“I believe-”

Again, the silver tongued shadowhand has no words, “Thank you Mr. Clay. I think that is more kindness than I know how to give myself. It is difficult to process and accept but I will try my best.”

Caduceus’ hand wanders through the bag of flowers, not even looking as he picks one, a massive flower, bright white and nearly glowing in the moonlight. He sighs contentedly and plants the flower. They work together in companionable silence and Essek relishes the sound of his companion’s breath, the feeling of dirt sticking under his nails, the gentle breeze that blows through fireflies and looking through them up to the stars, once again teeming with the promise of possibility, change, growth.

AO3 Link Here

[omniscientwreck]

Ok y’all know I had a LOT of thoughts about Essek and the Luxon and I’ve been working on this since the recap so I hope you like it! I encourage you to listen to the song this work borrows a title from, Some Things Cosmic by Angel Olson because the tone of it fits this piece well I think and it was stuck in my head the whole time I was writing this. Also THANK YOU @blair-the-bold for being my guinea pig late at night I appreciate you! 

Just so everyone’s aware this is a personal one for me and it’s very existential. Lifespan angst plays a small part but the Shadowgast aspect is for the most part, in the background of this. This is more of an Essek character study. Enjoy! Please let me know what you think! 

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast Characters: Essek Thelyss, Caleb Widogast, Caduceus Clay, Jester Lavorre, The Luxon (Critical Role) Additional Tags: Character Study, Religion, Light Angst, Existentialism Summary:

Essek Thelyss has searched his whole life for answers. He finds that his interests are aligned with an unlikely colleague.

—-

In other words, Essek makes a friend.

[omniscientwreck]

Chapters: 3/? Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast Characters: Essek Thelyss, Caleb Widogast, Caduceus Clay, Jester Lavorre, Nott | Veth Brenatto, Yasha (Critical Role), Fjord (Critical Role) Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Alternate Universe - College/University, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff Chapter 3 Summary:

Essek’s hands move like a maestro. He seems to coax the magic out of thin air, and explains as he does how he is simultaneously decreasing his mass and expending energy to repel himself from the floor. Caleb is mesmerized and mimes through the motions to try and feel the movements before casting. “Don’t practice without the intent. Figure out what your first try looks like and then you know where you’re truly beginning.”

Caleb nearly balks. “Ah yes, just move gravity without running through the motions. Surely nothing can go wrong.” He isn’t truly nervous. It’s just a cantrip, can’t possibly hurt him.

Essek laughs, “Oh things can go wrong, quite disastrously actually, but you’re no fledgling. You understand discipline and control. Just try.”

Essek’s hands move like a maestro. He seems to coax the magic out of thin air, and explains as he does how he is simultaneously decreasing his mass and expending energy to repel himself from the floor. Caleb is mesmerized and mimes through the motions to try and feel the movements before casting. “Don’t practice without the intent. Figure out what your first try looks like and then you know where you’re truly beginning.” 

Caleb nearly balks. “Ah yes, just move gravity without running through the motions. Surely nothing can go wrong.” He isn’t truly nervous. It’s just a cantrip, can’t possibly hurt him. 

Essek laughs, “Oh things can go wrong, quite disastrously actually, but you’re no fledgling. You understand discipline and control. Just try.” 

[meggie-stardust]

30 Questions

Rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

Tagged by @myletternevercame 💜💜💜

name/nickname: meg

gender: female

star sign: leo

height: 5′7″

birthday: the same as neville longbottom

time: 9:08pm

favorite bands: the hold steady, frightened rabbit, the mountain goats, AFI

favorite solo artists: does david bowie count? 

song stuck in my head: I’ve had Just Communication stuck in my head for a few days

last movie: i have no idea. omg. 

last show: Gundam Wing; still in progress: ATLA and What We do in the Shadows 

when did i create this blog: april 2010, aparently 

what do i post: whatever bullshit i feel like. lots of teen wolf, superhusbands, and recently gundam wing

last thing googled: how much iron supplements should i take

other blogs: oh god... a holder for endlessmeg; glitter-adorned: an AFI blog that’s been unused for a while; wreckwrites: which was supposed to be for fic then it turned into where i reblog rec lists; merrymegmas: for my megmas mixes; two pornish blogs that are useless now, and i have access to two community blogs for fests... i used to have a narcissa malfoy one, but i purged that a while ago.

do i get asks: not usually from random people, but some times

why i chose my url: it’s how i’m listed in my husband’s phone

following: 300+ but I think like 1/2 are abandoned. 

followers: 500+ which is crazy and 3/4 most be abandoned. but i guess that’s what happens over 10 years???

average hours of sleep: 7ish

lucky number: 11

instruments: i kinda play bass; i took keyboard and guitar lessons as a kid and remember noting

what am i wearing: leggings, a neutral milk hotel shirt, and a oversized sweater jacket thingie 

dream job: actor? 

dream trip: i’ve wanted to go to Japan since Big Bird went in 1989

favorite food: pancakes

nationality: american

favorite song: just one? today i’ll go with yeah sapphire by the hold steady

last book read: still reading “not all fairytales have happy endings, the story of serria on-line” by ron williams

top three fictional universes i’d like to live in: Lyra’s world (his dark materials), middle earth, the world in the mapmaker’s trilogy 

Tagging: i don’t know 20 people... @arathesane @lolahardy @panto-x and anyone else who wants to play, you can say i tagged you

[biblioteknician]

wreckwrites replied to your photoset “This is my beautiful best friend and what he wore at his wedding this...”

i was scrolling by and then i was like, OMG I KNOW HIM and then I saw it was you that posted this and he got married? That's amazing. Send him my love. <3

Ahahaha oh I forgot there were people on here who actually know him but it wasn’t like. A real marriage. I mean it was legal and everything, but he married our other best friend (who is his roommate) so he can get her insurance. This is the state of the millennial generation  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But it was really cute they invited all their friends and they bought cheap little rings and their parents were there and his mom read a poem and her dad was pleased because he figures Jordan’s the best man she’ll ever find (which I thought was HILARIOUS because he knows Jordan is gay and also both of her boyfriends were there)

It was amazing, really

[purpleandsilver]

So that's what my 36 did.

Love it.

"I'm Lost Without You"

Had a friend roll me a d100 for the list of drabble prompts (you can request one if you want, they're here)

No angst zone, only smarts and fluff here!

Caleb has been over this problem several times. He sits on the plush carpeting in his office at the Soltryce Academy and he’s been here for hours. Books are open in a circle around him and the entire floor is papered in notes.

A student had asked a particularly intriguing question regarding the ethics of enchantment magic and despite it being Advanced Transmutation he’d promised them he would think about it for next class and get back to them. Now he was deep in a rabbit hole of research and had somehow worked his way around to tearing apart the layers of the equations of Geas to try and more deeply consider how it affects the mind, but something is missing.

He breaks from the frenzy he’s been in as the door opens, “Sorry office hours are over, I’m in the middle of something here.”

“I wasn’t aware I needed an appointment Caleb Widogast.”

His gaze snaps up, magnetically drawn to the sound of his name. Standing in his door way is a dark skinned elven man with short, tight curls and fine delicate features. He wears fine clothes and looks down at Caleb with a bemused smirk.

“Ach Schatz I’m sorry I kept you waiting, I got ah - involved in something. A student inquiry I found most fascinating. I am, however, stuck with deconstructing these equations.”

Essek settles on his knees beside Caleb, gently moving aside a few papers, “Show me, maybe I can help. Fresh eyes and all that.”

This is one of Caleb’s favourite ways to be with Essek. Intellect flying, swatting theories back and forth until they begin to take a proper shape. At one point Essek makes an invaluable insight and Caleb relishes in being able to lean over to kiss him softly and mutter “Brilliant mein Liebchen.”

On the other hand, Essek delights in small, soft touches as Caleb is talking and he’s processing. Sometimes as Caleb talks he’ll lay a hand on his knee or rub circles into his back. As Caleb’s hand cramps from writing Essek takes the quill and finishes the thought before taking Caleb’s hand in his and rubbing out the aches.

Eventually he catches it. Essek is slightly more familiar with Enchantment than him and he notices an incorrect rune in the textbook Caleb had based his work on. “Ah that is, well it’s a stupid mistake to be sure but thank you for righting me. I’m lost without you.”

Essek’s hands go to cup his face, slender fingers scratching just slightly into his beard, “Darling you’re not lost, just exhausted. Let’s go home, I’ll make some tea.”

“Ja, that sounds wonderful.”

Not bothering with walking Essek stands and helps Caleb lift onto his feet before beginning the incantation for Teleport, leaving the office a chaotic mess to be dealt with in the morning.