#wow. youre not human. youre crazy

[screamingatthekaraokemachine]

guess who’s fucking back!!!!

[cherubshert]

You don't know idols irl

But Jungwon has been nothing but a fucking sweetheart to engenes, he's constantly updating us, constantly posting content for our enjoyment, constantly doing his job as an idol

But some ungrateful 'fans' are now hating on him, for a rumor based of off there i say bullshit proof, like photos that are so blurry that it could be anyone(lemme tell you if you took those 'proof' to court, a good judge will laugh in your face and kick you out, that's how shitty they are), and proof from crazy individuals detailing how they stalked him.

Like instead of coming together worried about his privacy being so disgustingly violated, there r ppl, screaming and shouting at Jungwon??

Same on winter's side, i have seen the clips from that aespa fan meeting, where these 'fans' were screaming and cursing at her. over a rumor that if you had common sense you could see are false.

I don't think these people are really fans, these individuals are just people jumping on an opportunity to hate, and be vicious. I saw the email template they were planning to send to hybe, and it's just filled with stupid delusions.

Jungwon has admitted that he isn't in a relationship (even if he was, he is 20, who gives a shit) and these people have deluded them selves that he is, because of proof thaf can soo easily be disproven.

Kpop idol's mental health is so important, from torturous trainee life, to torturous idol life, Multiple idols have passed, because of crazy insane stupid rumors, that ruined their mental health. Yet, to this day so many people don't feel shame when they toy with an idols mental health like this.

And if something awful does happen, which i fucking pray not, these people will be the loudest about mental health. Please remember that idols are HUMANS not things or property. Jungwon has been so mentally strong, but i don't know how he's actually doing bts, as a my and engene, this situation is hurting my eyes.

If u r one of the insane individuals still angry at this, plss plss leave, i promise Jungwon and enha wouldn't care about losing 'fans' like you. Jungwon has said, on camera, by himself, that he's not dating, and you still delude yourself to thinking he is because???

It just seems like you have nothing fun or special going on in your life, please go hang out with family and friends, if you don't have friends make some, get a job, get a more productive hobby, go to the gym and do some boxing, since you are so desperate to let out rage. You say you love enhypen, yet you are so quick to treating them like this, because you lack respect not only for yourself, but for him.

we are going into 2025, a stranger, which is what jungwon is to all of us at the end of the day, dating, should not, and I repeat should not get you THIS riled up, you're mad at a human for falling in love?

And if you believe idols shouldn't date still, i better not see you dating either, cause by your logic, you also belong to said idol, and you dating is also a betrayal, you should also lose your job and everything you've worked hard for. You see how dumb you sound?? if not i really pity you, cause there is something insanely wrong with you.

Therapy is expensive, but human connection is mostly free, if you had friends, a job and a life to look forward to, you wouldn't care so much about this.

Parasocial relationships at the end of the day are not real, jungwon isn't really your friend, your boyfriend or your husband, he's a guy doing his job, being a singer, dancing and making music. your role as a fan, is to support him, so no he doesnt owe you any more than what he's given you(making good songs, dancing, concerts, albums/ the lives, photos and content r extras for your entertainment, he doesn't have to do that either if he doesn't want to, but he does(a lot),so shut up and know your place). he is a person, a human, and like yunjin said, an idol doesn't mean a dol(l) to fuck with.

[sakebytheriver]

We really lost the battle when we let those paranormal/mysticism types frame the fact that nonbelievers never encounter that shit because the ghosts know you don't believe in them so they avoid you rather than the actual fact of the matter being that the human brain is a complicated mess of squishy organic material and neurons that will reinforce your already held beliefs by inventing evidence that wasn't there in reality

Like we really just lost the whole battle right then and there, probably one of the most culty things people who believe in the paranormal and mysticism say

[ecle-c-tic]

Sometimes I forget tumblr's prime demographic is like edgy teens and people who haven't developed a prefrontal cortex bc omg some of the takes are absolute dog shit and totally unrealistic

[kumomist]

intense insane staring into the distance and still crying over north no2

[whathebrick]

what people don't consider is that bai hua has the potential to be just like macaque and that's why teach is so protective of her. he doesn't want her being 'corrupted'

[rainbowgod666]

What if its myself

when the objectively bad person has traumatic and honestly reasonable reasons for why theyre like that but it doesnt excuse their actions and only serves to make them more tragic as a character

[itsalwaysdark]

i unlocked a new voice earlier btw but i cant do it that much bc it requires me to be nervously laughing and breathing very heavily and it had me gasping for breath for like 30 minutes

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DPXDC prompt. Dead on Main. Symbol of eternal love.

The Red Hood enters the conference room during the Justice League meeting.

John Constantine: What the hell is this? Batman, why does your brat have the Ring of Rage on his ring finger?

Red Hood: Wow, I never would have thought that you were a jewelry person. Since when did you start to understand such trinkets? Do you want to change your occupation?

John: Trinkets? Trinkets?! Where the hell did you get this thing? Maybe you can also pull the Crown of Fire out of your ass and drive me completely crazy?! Do you even know what the owner of the ring will do to you if he finds out you're wearing it?

Red Hood: Well, I hope he'll kiss me and f….

Batman: Jason!

Red Hood: …hard. What? I mean, my new boyfriend gave it to me. I didn't steal it. Beautiful, isn't it? He said that it suits my eyes very well when I lose my temper.

John: (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

~~~~~~

Jason: Hey, sweetheart, don't you think you owe me an explanation for something important? Dumbass looking 100% human: Hmm, no? Nothing like that comes to mind. Jason : Hm, ok. If you say so...

[yappacadaver]

getting divorced and committing a murder in one year is a lot for the average person but if you throw in a new car...

[fics-lovebot]

jujutsu kaisen fic recs

main masterlist

· · ♡ · · tysm to the amazing creative minds of the writers for giving me sevaral moments of joy reading your creations

i´ll be constantly updating this list so make sure to check it out often for new recs ;)))

pls remember to reblog if you like any of my recs❤️

LAST UPDATED: 25/01/2025

poly jjk boys / multiple versions

gojo and geto are rich besties and they coax you into a poly relationship - ( @ramonathinks ) smut

you slap their ass - ( @gojoux ) reaction

slut him out - ( @satoruhour ) gojo, geto, nanami and toji version. y'know what,,,idek what to say about thi- IT´S NASTY FILTHY JUST PORN, reader is a whOre (not my words), read at your own risk bc i was SHOOk

bimbo bunny - ( @merakidoll ) smut, choso, toji and nanami version, the vISUALs I GOT FROM THE NANAMI ONE LAWDDDD

break up - ( @yanderenightmare ) angst, bullying, toxicity, I KNOWW this is sukuna

wap - ( @tonycries ) smut, going in raw for the first time. i caNNOT EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE HOW GOOD THIS IS JUST PLEASEEE GO READ IT

warm heart pastry - ( @cckaisen ) text, fluff, crack, first of all,,, i love yuji, second of all satoru REALLY needs help, and third of all WHY IS INUMAKI ALWAYS ON SOME SHIT??? lmaooooo

oops! - ( @gumiiiiezzzz ) text, crack, fluff, the 1st and 2nd year boys accidentally confess they like you (fellow student). THIS IS SO FUUNNAYSFJFSDF i love it, inumaki again on sum weird shi

dont scare me - ( @sweetsugarine ) text, crack, fluff, in which you text “we need to talk”. "you do understand that i have the power to annihilate all human life and torch this world, yes?" LMAOOO sukuna need some milk , this is too good

fever fever fever - ( @tonycries ) smut, pwp, sex pollen curse. this is crraaazzzzyyyyyyyyyyyyYYY THE TOJI AND NANAMI ONES HAD ME SCREAMING OUT LOUD I CAN´T EVE- wow just wow

big ttity gf - ( @cckaisen ) smau, suggestive, crack- LMAOOO THE INUMAKI ONES ALWAYS MAKE ME UGLY CACKLE

hey so i, like, want u or wtvr - ( @leyiorr ) CRACK, fluff, accidental confession smau. bro i swear, the inumaki ones kill me everytime i can´t, he is SO outta pocket

good! now punch his face! - ( @tender-rosiey ) crack, slice of life, jjk men and their kids being two peas in a pod, love it sm

gojo

accidental nude - ( @satoruhour ) smut, AAND HE SENDS A WHOLE VIDEO!!

gojo tried to give himself a haircut - ( @enkvyu ) this is fuNNY ksksks, I love the banter

trying to break up with yandere!gojo - ( @peachsayshi ) yep, we´re talkin about lovesick toxic obsessed type of gojo, LDKJSDFJDJFHL

insecure bully!gojo - ( @saetoru ) angst, lil fluff, he´s a bully and he´s in love, but its not enough. part 2

the horniest - ( @arminsumi ) smut, ITS SO GOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD, he´s horny af, pussy drunk, obsessed, borderline crazy for that wap

phone calls - ( @kingkonoha ) slice of life, hubby!gojo, dilf!gojo, his wife and his daughter are his only priority, this is so sdkfjskdjfh :´( i love it

best of the best - ( @saetoru ) smut, fwb! satoru, big sHIT talker omg, he lit asks you to be his gf wHILE he´s making you cum,,,,,best bf ever tho

love struck - ( @xxsabitoxx ) fluffy, ex-fuckboy!satoru, he´s experiencing love for the first time :((((( IT´S SO CUTEEEEEEEEEE

love dumb - ( @arminsumi ) fluff, blurb, you make him lose his composure, can´t even focus bc you´re over there existing, someone should make a longer version of this! so good

too much - ( @risuola ) ANGSTTTYYYY, fluff too, reader and gojo are in a situationship kinda thing where they live together and love each other but nothing has been said yet, they get into an argument bc gojo has a big mouth and says a lot of hurtful things, they´re both just so exhausted

i know you still think about the times we had - ( @saetoru ) angst, fluff, rich bf!gojo, his father makes you break up with him, it´s so angsty omg, they get into this HUGE argument bc gojo´s dad is a controlling mf

sanctuary - ( @arminsumi ) fluff, lowkey angst, weak!reader, bully!gojo, nah he´s just in love but doesn´t know how to say it

the road to falling in love - ( @itadorey ) fluff, strangers to lovers, it´s a collection o moments where keeps falling harder for you, I LOVE ITTTTT, sdkfjhskdjf it´s kinda slow burn but not boring at all

yuji finds out gojo has a family - ( @kingkonoha ) fluff, lowkey angst, hubby!gojo, dad!gojo, so,,, this made me cry, i love yuji sm he deserves the world :( this is part two and it also made me crY MY MF EYES OUT :))))))))

can´t stop drinking - ( @kingkonoha ) ANGST, death, blood, dad!gojo, husband!gojo, mentions of wanting to die, a curse kills you and your son allegedly but in reality the elders had lied to him all these years, part 2 made me fucking crying

flicker of flame - ( @tteokdoroki ) fluff, nervous soon to be dad!gojo, pregnant!reader, he´s going to be the best dad ever

mirror´s pov - ( @teddybeartoji ) smut, "satoru likes jerking off in front of a mirror" YUP, a whole POV of him beating his meat to the thought of you BEAUTIFULLY written, very detailed

thatgirlis..poison!! - ( @gojosprettyprincess ) smut, overstimulation. this is some gewwwd pwp, we love to see it

the weakeast - ( @screampied ) ANNngst, character death mention. yall already know when it comes to angst i´m that girl, i know i good, well written angst when i see it

nanami

dorm room escapades - ( @satoruhour ) smut, dad´s bestfriend!nanami, age gap, GAWWDD DAMNNNN, daddy kink, this is some good stuff

nanami drabbles - ( @sugurizz ) pwp, pls yall readdd part 2 and part 3, its crazyy

fifteen minutes - ( @roseglazedlens ) “Say that again. Louder. Can’t hear shit with the sound of my dick slapping into your cunt.” that´s all I have to say, your honor

protective - (@kingkonoha ) headcanon, hubby!kento, my man my man my man my man i love thissss

swear it´s just right for you - ( @slttygeto ) smut, fluff, hubby!nanami, I´m weaaaak, he´s so husband material

stressed after work - ( @arminsfavoritepookie ) boyfriend! kento, a cute lil drabble bc he loves your mere presence

labour of love - ( @s4lv4tions ) fluff, vanilla smut, lowkey angst if you´ve been keeping up with the manga/anime, loving hubby!kento, SO DOMESTIC, love making, :(

losing his mind - ( @daisynik7 ) smut, dom!reader, hubby!kento, sub!kento, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, WHEEEEEEEEW, 10000/10, now this is new

his protégé - ( @augustinewrites ) fluff, slice of life, fiancé!kento, dinner time with yuuji, it´s so wholesome :´)

tie my tie, marry me - ( @kenananamin )fluff, slice of life, "the moment nanami knew he never wanted to tie his tie by himself ever again and wanted to spend the rest of his life by your side" please just do yourself a favor and READ THIS

edging - ( @pseudowho ) smut, pwp, fluff, this,,,,this is one the BEST nanami smuts out there, i just know the description of the whole thing is 100% accurate, the details, the way this is written, the visuaLSsss ldskjfhjsalfh go read it pls

riding - ( @screampied ) smut, hubby!nanami, "riding nanami so good that it makes him want to propose", LASJHLSFJH THIS IS SOME GOOD STUFF, the ride was so good he had to propose.. again

my wife - ( @chastiefoul ) FLUFF, period. married!nanami and his obssession with the word "wife", I WANT TO KMS HE´S SO :((((((

husband vibes - ( @rayveneyed ) fluff. read it, just do it, YOU NEED THIS POV IN YOUR MIND I PROMISE

forgotten lunch - ( @nanaslutt ) SMUT, fluff, possessive husband!nanami. RAAAAAAAH ( insert picture of that one werwolf ripping his shirt) this is crrraaazzzyyyyYYYYYYYYYY, nanami makes me go fucking FERAL

toji

unprecedented reveal - ( @spideyyeet ) smut, fluff, mma!toji, journalist!reader, lowkey angst, "photo leaks of toji going down on you in public is suddenly exposed for everyone to know about the infamous fighters girlfriend" wELL dssdfh that´ll do it

will always be yours - ( @nezuscribe ) smut, fluff, so basically toji only does rough sex, doggy style being his fav, but when it comes to you he prefers the loving-face to face-intense eye contanct type of sex (more like love making) bc being with you makes him feel ten different emotions at once :) DÑFLJSLDFJ

ridin dirty?! - ( @screampied ) smut, mechanic!toji, the beggining had me giggling and blushing sdlfhlsjh, he´s too fucking cocky lmao, writing his number on her asscheeks and stuff

due date - ( @sleepymarimo ) fluff, big scary dad!toji, UGHHH LOVE ME SOME FLUFFY TOJI

a day at the beach - ( @sttoru ) fluff, slice of life, dad!toji, baby!megumi, wife!reader. this is so cute :33

furniture shopping - ( @cursingtoji ) suggestive. this is such a toji thing fr lmao

more than a gym crush - ( @suguae ) smut, fluff. this one´s for us maladaptive daydreaming girlies

u still mad at me? - ( @dilfl0v3rss ) smut, praising, multiple orgasms, fluff if you squint. THIS IS SO- I FUCKIGN HATEHIMMMMMM, AND WHY DOES HE LIKE TO SUCK TOES I-plsiwanthimsobad

geto

gimme, gimme more - ( @omgeto ) rich!geto x stripper!reader, lots of plot and build up, he is misteriousssss and fucking filthy and so cuTE??????? wtf, the wating game is real, he knows how to play his cards very well, LAWDD HAVE MERCY i would have folded too

gripping the headboard with one hand - ( @satoruhour ) smut, “what a slut.” hELP

protective hubby - ( @slttygeto ) teacher!suguru, pregnant wife oc, it´s cutee

focus - ( @arminsumi ) suggestive, flirty!geto, tutor!geto, “you’re doing so good for me… keep going.” I HATE ITTTTTTTT, i would fold like a mf lawn chair bitch OOF

dress shopping - ( @garoujo ) very suggestive, WHY IS HE SO SMOOTH WITH IT ALL THE TIME??? got me blushing and sweating and shit

phoque - ( @slttygeto ) crack, teacher!suguru, twin girls dad!suguru, he accidentally curses in front of his daughters and now he´s gotta make up some bullshit story to save his ass, SLFHSLDKJHSLDH this is funny

choso

picture perfect - ( @ramonathinks ) smut, photographer choso, he´s lowkey a perv, jacks off to oc´s pictures

meanie - ( @arminsumi ) smut, mean!choso, “Why you actin’ like some dick-starved whore? I fucked you good this morning" THE WAY I SCREAMEDDDDDDDD “Is that what you needed, princess? Some good dick?" STOOOOOOOOOPPPP

it´s too much - ( @vienssunshine ) smut, dom!reader, inexperienced!choso and sub!chose fics are like crack to me, i´m obsessed, this is so detailed, he is eager to please sdlfjls and wants to try it all at once

fingers in his hair - ( @garoujo ) smut, chose loves having his hair pulled when he´s eating pussy,,,,,,,CALL A MF AMBULANCE a bitch just died

cherry blossoms - ( @sellenite ) smut, virgin!choso, phone sex, it´s his first orgasm yall, not yuji talking about a "sloppy toppy" LSJFHLSJDFHLFDH he´s so outta pocket

asleep - ( @tired-biscuit ) suggestive kinda, fluff, slice of life. "choso looks like a guy that would fall asleep with your titty in his mouth." you know what,,,hell yeah, he does

sukuna

lambent - ( @xo2dee ) kinda fluffy, true form!sukuna, pregnant!reader, heian era customs, hubby!sukuna, a lil cannibalism, THIS NEEDs A KDRAMA

paparazzi´s pov - ( @rayveneyed ) fluff, award winning actor!sukuna, singer!oc, he likes messing around with supermodels but then the both of them meet at a fashion show, next thing you know oc got an anklet with his initials in garnet AÑDLJSÑFDLJ i really like this, would love to see a longer version

mangoes - ( @sttoru ) fluff, pregnant!reader, hubby!sukuna, tru form!sukuna, SOOO CUTEE, this acc had me giggling and kicking my feet

type of husband - ( @tonycries ) fluff, this is so cute omgggg

bad boy - good toy - ( @yuujispinkhair ) smut, sub!sukuna (YUPP), campus frat boy/fuckboy/bad boy! sukuna, dom!reader, college au. this,,is literally one of the BEST sukuna smut pieces out there, TRUST. I´ve never read anything similiar, it has it ALL I- please, if you want to be horny and entertained, go ahead and read this (may not be everyones cup of tea so pay attention to the warnings). Part 2 is where is at for sure, it deserves many more notes imo

big brother - ( @mysicklove ) fluff, slice of life, big brother! sukuna, baby brother! yuuji, gf! reader. LMAO HE´S SO EVILLLL iminlovewithhim, author has a big brother au masterlist, plss go through it, it´s so good

yuuji

virgin!yuuji - ( @chaiiskindagross ) smut, sub!yuuji, "virigin! yuuji whines and whimpers so much, and did i mention sometimes he overstimulates himself to the point of crying?" I´M SSSOOOLLDD SDLFJSDFJHSD love it

jock bf!yuuji - ( @tteokdoroki ) smut, fluff, all-star jock!yuuji, weird gf!reader, college au. one thing about me, i LOVE jock!yuuji. READ THIS AS WELL PLEASSEE

yuuta

In denial - ( @rosesaints ) smut, sub!yuuta, "he doesn’t believe that it’s real until you’re actually sinking down onto his cock" period.

loverboy!yuuta - ( @sugurizz ) smut, lowkey fluff, shy beach boy! yuuta, bid dicc! yuuta, confident baddie! reader, WE LOVE TO SEE IT

megumi

until i found you - ( @shisnhou ) fluff, ASLDJHJSDKAH I LOVED THISSSSS, so so cute omg

inumaki

soon

[archiverstappen]

the cat sitter (part 13) ✧ max verstappen

max verstappen x fem! reader

previous part | masterlist | next part

loosely inspired by the story on how max lost his cat

[twitter]

[instagram]

maxverstappen1

liked by landonorris and 4.920.557 others

maxverstappen1 My crazy cat lady is finally back

view all 5.782 comments

yourusername GUYS DONT WORRY NO CATS WERE HARMED WHILE TAKING THIS PHOTO 🧎‍♀️

↳ username 🤨🤨🤨 suspicious

↳ yourusername BELIEVE ME PLEASE I WOULD NEVER PUT MY KIDS IN DANGER. I WOULD RISK MAX’S WELL BEING TO PROTECT THEM🫂

↳ maxverstappen1 WOW

yourusername starting to wonder, will there ever be a day where you finally post a decent picture of me 🙍‍♀️

↳ maxverstappen1 No

↳ yourusername there will be repercussions for your action

username I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

danielricciardo Okay now i get where the name ‘crazy cat lady’ came from

landonorris 👀👀👀 hehehe yourusername

↳ yourusername sHHHHHHHHH

sophiekumpen 😁🧡

username ANOTHER NON RACE RELATED POST FROM MAX?!?! WE WON

↳ username and it’s of y/n🥹 HE’S DEFINITELY IN LOVE

username SO WE’RE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT HOW MAX WROTE “MY crazy cat lady”

↳ username REAL, FRIENDS DONT DO WHAT THEY DO😩

[messages]

[instagram]

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1 and 178 others

yourusername not fast just furious

view all 12 comments

maxverstappen1 SIIIIIUUU

maxverstappen1 Told you I’m a good teacher

↳ yourusername couldn’t see the road properly because my vision was blurry from all the tears that i held

↳ landonorris YOU MADE HER CRY?! maxverstappen

bffusername i jusT KNOW that the driving lessons were chaotic, but props to max for doing something no human being can afford to do 🥹

↳ yourusername iM A GOOD STUDENT!!!!

↳ maxverstappen1 Half of the lessons were filled with her having a breakdown, and the other half were filled with Y/N saying “huh” because she couldn’t hear my instructions through “Tokyo Drift” that was playing in the background

↳ bffusername sounds like the y/n i know 👍

bffusername ANYWAY so excited to finally be yor passenger princess 😘

↳ yourusername i would love to drive you around, but i still don’t know how to park 😁

friendusername Remember that time when you hit my mother’s car in high school? 😂 Look how far you’ve come!!

↳ yourusername THIS STILL KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT!! IM SO SORRY MRS MARTIN 😭

[twitter]

[instagram]

[messages]

[notes]

[twitter]

[messages]

[twitter]

[messages]

[twitter]

-

author’s note: IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! i really hope you guys like this one 🧎🏻‍♀️

taglist: : @flwr-stella @reidsworld @myloverjk-blog @debss-319 @hiraethrhapsody @electrobutterfly @love4lando @lunnnix @allenajade-ite @jjsprobablywrong @whoreks @soleilgrec @oscarwildingsworld @christianpulisic10 @thievin-stealing @glitterf1 @elliegrey2803 @trouble-sistar @escapism-writer @cornerofacry @hollie9111 @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @ad-astra-again @canyon-lwt @thecubanator2 @lifesuckslife @leclercloml @sunny44 @nmw-am @sachaa-ff @multilovebot @glow-ish @moneygramhaas @whitefireproofs @icarus-nex @iloveyou3000morgan @ccallistata @copper-boom @fictionalcharacterslut @celesteblack08 @maxiel-jpg @slytherheign @lunyyx @series-books-food @coffeehurricanes @shrimpyshrimp @somanyfandomsbruh @justcallmeelli @laneyspaulding19 @ironmaiden1313

pictures (c) to pinterest and instagram

[non-beanary]

Do you think it'll creep the aliens out when we're really good at spotting ai or robots, like the uncanny valley. Maybe they don't have that and they're like wow you're so good at spotting the difference and oh wow how come your species' eye for detail dramatically got better in the 2020's and we're like haha yeh idiots on our planet used ai to take away one of our authentic human joys instead of using it to allow us to have a better life so we can pursue art ourselves, crazy right? anyway do you want the blargelsnarf or the lemon flavoured donut?

[jambalaya-enthusiast]

❥𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧;

Crew members x Afab! Insecure! Reader.

summary: you express to your partner that you are insecure about your acne and stretchmarks.

a/n: this is going to be a pretty self indulgent thing because I struggle with body image as well.

warnings: sensitive topics,body image.

𝓒𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓪𝓲𝓷,𝓒𝓾𝓻𝓵𝔂.

this guy is physically unable to grasp the concept that you're insecure, about your body.

he is genuinely at a loss of words,like... are you being fr? acne? stretchmarks? such trivial things?

he finds your acne cute,and your stretchmarks sexy,the thought that they could be sources of insecurity for you didn't even occur to him.

—"y/n such things do not make you any less beautiful,these things are a normal aspect of human life,why would you ever feel bad? If you ever even think,that these things will make me love you even slightly less,then you've gone crazy. I love you y/n,i love everything about you".

𝓒𝓸-𝓟𝓲𝓵𝓸𝓽, 𝓙𝓲𝓶𝓶𝔂.

He didn't even notice them in the first place.

Jimmy is a cold bastard,sure. But judging your body? Such things are below him. He couldn't care less.

Jimmy loves you, because of who you are,not what makes you. he couldn't be less bothered about acne and stretchmarks,why would he? They aren't things to be afraid of.

—"wow just how privileged you have to be for your concerns to be so trivial,y/n if you really think such silly things make you any less beautiful then maybe you should get your head checked out first,c'mon really?,stop being goofy and get up, let's go and watch tv instead".

𝓝𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮,𝓐𝓷𝔂𝓪.

she's baffled that you would even think like that,she understands that insecurities are a normal aspect of the human psyche.

but still,she's speechless,she thinks that someone as gorgeous,as jaw droppingly attractive as you could even be Insecure? Over things like stretchmarks and acne?

—"y/n,these stretchmarks and acne which you have? they make you beautiful,they don't take away anything from your beauty, you're a human being,being. these things are not on your body for you to feel bad, they're here to remind you that you're human,plus I think your stretchmarks are gorgeous. You're the best thing to have ever happened to me y/n, don't you ever feel like you're worth anything less than the best".

𝓜𝓮𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓬, 𝓢𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓼𝓮𝓪.

he has experience with situations like these.

this man doesn't give two fucks about your acne or stretchmarks.

—"tsk,if ya really think that stuff like this is gunna make you any less gorgeous, then ya better just stop thinkin' put ya brain to rest. c'mon let's get some bagel and coffee"

𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓷, 𝓓𝓪𝓲𝓼𝓾𝓴𝓮.

HUHHHHHH? WHAAAAAT?™

Bro is befuddled, bamboozled, hornswoggled, hoodwinked, outmanoeuvred at your words.

nah this man can't even understand as to acne and stretchmarks could be bad things.

"Y/N YOU ARE LIKE LITERAL PERFECTION PERSONIFIED, WDYM SOME STRETCHMARKS AND ACNE MAKE YOU FEEL UGLY???????", I'M SAYING THIS EXTREMELY SERIOUSLY. YOU ARE THE PRETTIEST,COOLEST, BEAUTIFULLEST GIRL I'VE EVER LAID MY EYES ON. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.

Proceeds to smother you in kisses.

[muletia]

your obsessed! Optimus yappings have me thinking about a y/n who has a kid,, who is just there looking at Optimus like "please stop trying to fuck my mom :((", bonus points if you add an obsessed! Megatron into the mix, poor kid would have to deal with TWO crazy ass robots trying to fuck their mom 😞😞 /silly

milf!reader???? would

ALSO THIS IS SO FUNNY OMGGG imagine you’ve already told your kid that you’d like to introduce them to your friend. the day of the first meeting arrives, and at first, the kid’s like: wow, a robot that turns into a massive truck??? that’s so cool, literally a hell yeah moment. and optimus would try so hard to win your kid over. i can totally see him showing off what his body can do, taking you both for rides during his free time, being the dad who stepped up. and then megatron realizes that he is ready to start a second war over a human pussy, and the poor kid can’t catch a break. their parent keeps getting kidnapped by a crazy warlord, like, who’s gonna help with homework?? :((( until the kid also gets kidnapped by megs, who, after finding out you have a sparkling, suddenly decides he wants to be a stepdad too and does everything to prove to the kid that he’s way cooler than optimus. it gets even funnier when the kid unironically starts rooting for megatron lmao.

[arijackz]

PICK A CARD: What Will Your FS Admire Most About You?

⚤ “I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.” - Pablo Neruda

Disclaimer: This is a general reading, take what resonates. This is a gender-neutral reading, disregard any pronouns that do not apply to you.

p1 → p2 ↙︎ p3 → p4

✠ Pile One ✠ (King of Cups,Page of Cups,The World,7)

✧ Cards went wiillldddd. You stir up so much emotion in this person, it’s crazy. Your heart chakra is front and center here. You are picture-perfect harmony and universal love to your spouse. Your love can’t be contained, you love them, your friends, your favorite mug, worms out in the rain, strangers, the moon, and all the stars in the sky.

✧ All I see is a wide-ass smile, the biggest, wateriest eyes, and full cheeks. Your spouse thinks you’re sunshine-incarnated.

✧ This will sound corny, but your heart and love for the world and all its diversity make you appear angelic; God’s gift to humanity. The emotional depth you have is nothing shy of divine. Your ability to understand and reconnect your person with their inner dreamer makes you irreplaceable in their eyes. 

✧ I feel like your future spouse had to navigate around a lot of emotionally stunted people who left scars that prevented them from forming healthy relationships. Your empathy and desire to make space for peace and unity in this world give them hope that true love is alive and they are the lucky son of a bitch who gets to call an angel, theirs.

✧ I smell salt and hear waves. (I bet you’re tired of the cheesy poetry but HEY, me and your boo are OBSESSED with your energy) You truly are as beautiful and powerful as the seven seas.

✧ You know the Ouroboros, and how it's sometimes depicted as a snake wrapped around the oceans, holding onto its tail to keep the world together? Yea, that. To your future partner, you hold the key to their world. You add so much color and vibrancy. You turn over their inner ocean and awaken so much repressed child-like wonder within them.

✧ Wow. Your spouse loves the depths of you.

✧ Check for water placements, signs, and houses, in your natal chart. Some of you have insane intuition and have clairsenses. Clairaudience to be specific.

✧ Some of you are active in charities or aspire to make a difference in society. Maybe you’re into esoteric practices or anything else metaphysical.

✧ I even have a few philosophers here. Okay, KANT! (somebody please get this joke)

She Excites the Seven Seas

✠ Pile Two ✠ (Ace of Pentacles,8oW,The Emperor rev., “I Want”)

I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me

✧ Of course, you don’t have to be a woman but that TikTok sound SCREAMED at me. Your future spouse is lowkey intimidated by you and they love it.

✧ You have big dreams. Big plans. But most importantly, a million and one ways to get you where you need to be. Your ability to say “I want this,” and then actually go out and GET it?? Your spouse is like the meme that goes “I’m a little scared, but I’m turned on.”

✧ I also see that you’re unconventional. If people have been doing whatever you want to do a certain way for years, you'll find ways to do it differently, just cause. You’re a true trailblazer. Your self-conviction is so damn alluring. Even for the people who struggle with insecurity sometimes, once you get over that hump and decide that you desire something, you fucking get it. Your partner sees you like magic. They are impressed by just how quickly your desires are set in motion for you. They feel that you are powerful and bring a great deal of power to them from just being in your proximity.

✧ You are also the “I don’t take shit from nobody” type. Not from strangers, not from your friends, your family, not even from your partner. In their eyes, you know your worth and have a strong self-foundation that nobody can tear down. There is genuine admiration and respect here. I even get the “I want to be like you when I grow up” mentality.

✧ There is a speediness to you they find very attractive. Either the way you behave, speak, or just stress about time, your pacing holds a special place in their heart. (or maybe, despite all of your responsibilities, you manage to find stillness in the chaos and slow down when necessary)

✧ The way you speak drives this person wild. It's like your voice narrates their thoughts and is the source of all of their arousal. Do with that information what you will...(don't be cruel, you make this person so nervous).

✧ I shuffled through a playlist and E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY LIFE!! by Corpse came on and one of the lyrics goes,

She just look into my soul with them Shinigami eye Coke in my nose and a blade on her thigh. Man, I think this girl is really trying to plan my demise

✧ Yea, you put the fear of God into this person, but in a good way! Your presence can be chilling sometimes. Fire energy for sure. There are definitely people here from pile 2 of my first pac, “What are your most alluring qualities?”, check that out if you want to.

✧ Okay, this energy has me needing to take a LAP, bye.

"Man, I Think This Girl Tryna Plan My Demise"

✠ Pile Three ✠ (10oW, 9oW)(no other cards wanted to come out, real stubborn)

✧ Okay so, this feels specific?... and maybe even a lil off topic but I feel called to say this

✧ I sense that you and your person are psychically connected and share the mutual feeling that the two of you are meant to cross paths. The both of you have gotten your fair share of fuckery in this lifetime and this union feels like divine justice.

✧ This sounds a little fucked up, but you guys flourish amid trauma. Dark energy alchmaziers. You best wield your potential while you’re going THROUGH it.

✧ You had to “die” and bury yourself a dozen times to get where you are today.

✧ You are a very evolved individual. Throughout your life, traumatic events and relationships have forced you to bear a lot of weight on your back and it’s like the pressure has forged you into a diamond. With each curveball life threw at you, you stood tall and pushed to make something of yourself, proving your worth after a lifetime of strife and instability.

✧ Scorpio/Capricorn and 8th house/10th house placements. (check midpoints).

✧ A lot of you have tense shoulders, upper back, shoulder, and neck pain from the unease and anxiety your body carries. You have insomnia and may even struggle with nightmares.

✧ This person you’re coming into union with is so healing.

✧ This is something the both of you broke down and prayed for on your darkest days. This is a true partner, the soul that kept yours warm when the world was so cold. You had to put your dreamier side on the back burner to survive. This person will make you feel safe to dream again.

✧ I don’t have anything specific to say because you and your person feel so secretive  You two recognize each other’s pain and are the only people you guys trust. Like not even lil ol’ me can really get through to y'all. Y’all ride AND die for each other, in this life and the next.

✧ If you’re into astrology and already have a feel for who this person is, check your guys’ composite chart. Strong Scorpio energy here.

✧ Coming into union with this person will feel like a wish fulfillment.

✧ (short pile, it felt like a quick message for those of you who feel this connection telepathically. This is probably a secondary choice.)

"I Want To Caress The Piece of Me Within You"

✠ Pile Four ✠ (Queen of Wands, 9oP rev., 7oP, 4oP rev., the high priestess, queen of cups, “I will”)

✧ You’re a bad bitch, truly. Your fs isn’t calling you a bitch, buuuttttt she a baddie, she know she a ten! She a baddie with her baddie…. wait a minute…

✧ You may not have a lot of friends? You keep your circle tight-knit because you have been deeply hurt in the past and you guard your peace fiercely. For some of you, your home life was quite tumultuous and you struggle with financial security and inner happiness. It seemed like the world did not want you to feel good about yourself or succeed.

✧ Do you know that viral display of a deer’s ribcage with a spear through it, and how even though an attempt was made on the deer’s life, he managed to survive and lived for years after that event; all while still growing bone marrow with a giant fucking spear through its ribcage?

✧ “A close encounter with a hunter left the deer with several broken ribs and part of an arrow embedded in its body. Remarkably, the animal survived, and bone grew around the shaft and arrowhead lodged in the creature's side."

✧ "The deer lived with the arrow inside its body until years later, when another hunter killed the animal, cut the deer open, and discovered its amazing secret…As the tough tissue formed over the arrow, it acted as a splint for the damaged rib cage, strengthening the deer's injured body.”

✧ I highlighted some words that needed emphasizing. That’s how your partner sees you. They are in complete awe of the resilience and sheer tenacity you hold. They look at you and can’t believe the person before their eyes. The troubling history you usually try to hide from your romantic partners is exactly what allures this person. 

✧ You won’t ever lay on your belly and cry about life passing you by. You aren’t the type to victimize yourself and “woe is me” your way out of self-improvement.

✧ You are quite ambitious and aim to push forward, even if the odds are stacked against you.

✧ I get the message that some people in this pile have struggled with self-harm over the years. Your partner wants to kneel down and kiss your scars like a white knight, and vow to protect you emotionally and physically for as long as you’ll have them.

✧ The spear-deer imagery is so interesting. The deer represents virality. It is a symbol of piety, gentleness, devotion, and fertility. Especially with the queen of wands, the high priestess, AND the queen of cups, you provide profound love, passion, and insight to this person. However, even as a deer, you are quite badass???

✧ You are as gentle as a strand of hair but as strong as wool. Dainty but unbreakable.

✧ They have no desire to infantilize you because they know you are already your own greatest warrior. But they don’t want you to feel that you have to fight alone. Whatever burdens are on your plate, they take away as much as possible because they want to be a piece of the paradise you fight for.

✧ This is meant to be a short pac, a Tumblr post won’t do the unbelievable strength in your character much justice. Just know that your fs is so fucking in love with you and wants to spend their life by your side because of just how awe-struck they are by you.

✧ I mean c’mon… will YOU ever forget the story of the coolest fucking deer in existence??

"I Yearn To Be the Name You Call Out in Victory"