#wow. i really need to journal more i guess

[krownest]

@eusuchia i saw this and this post recently on arundhati roy's the god of small things and learned about the term mango lit and diaspora lit, went down the op's posts on diaspora (via search bar) and found this article that i just finished and it's very very interesting (and so many links to further reading!)

and my own long ass diaspora thoughts under the cut.

caveat that i have not read much on these topics, these are all just disjointed thoughts in my head on chinese diaspora politics:

re: politics and marxism (i use the latter word very lightly bc i have not started on the theory at all) in relation to hk and china, and going back to the whole yellow/blue dichotomy

like you have hk ppl immigrating to the uk, and of course ppl who are able to immigrate have a certain financial background but even then there are differences - e.g. a banker or lawyer working in hk immigrates to uk with their kids because they want to leave the current political climate + better education for their kids (see: national education controversy). they get an equivalent banker/lawyer job in the uk and it's all good and they visit hk twice a year. vs say a low/mid-tier government worker who moves w their family to uk (also for kids' education reasons) and cannot find a job or has to "settle" for a customer service/retail/f&b job. and you have the people back in hk who say re: the latter, "well they were better off staying in hk!" and of course some of these ppl are very "blue"/pro-gvt/ccp-aligned.

and then continuing that discourse you have ppl back in hk talking about how canada/uk are slowly failing (transit system, high grocery prices, monopolies, nhs) and how these countries + certain places in the us that have a lot of hk/cantonese/chinese (san francisco, seattle, new york, houston) are very dangerous bc of a decrease of public order (unhoused, crime levels, drug use). seriously the number of times i have heard ppl say "isn't the 治安 so bad in x/y/z“ in the past 2 years. (fun fact if you didn't know but marijuana is considered as dangerous as heroin in hk and the psas treat it as such which is very funny)

and yes i agree there are many issues in canada (can't speak for uk obviously) w housing, transit, high cost of living, monopolies, healthcare etc but the solution to that (imo) is shifting to the left, right? but the hk people who immigrate here (mostly yellow) or have been here for decades (mostly blue) all tend towards the conservative party because of money (less tax, better business) and "family values". i've been thinking about it recently and imo yellow encompasses the liberal and neoliberal pro-democracy pro-western values pro-free speech thinking (and yes lgbtq rights to some extent, like i think the majority of lgbtq ppl and ppl in artsy/film/creative fields (much overlap) consider themselves to be yellow) and leans younger (40s and below), while blue encompasses conservative pro-ccp pro-gvt (beijing though tbh it could mean hk) pro-police and leans older. at the same time the blue side is somewhat pro-business (despite ostensibly being pro-left) because a big thing about the 2019 protests is that it was bad for business (basically wtf are they stirring this shit up for. tourists are leaving and profits are down etc).

and so the blue side "won" and now the hk gvt has essentially gotten rid of most opposition (either arrested, jailed or left hk) and technically since beijing is communist (though of course has shifted to capitalism etc) they should be improving hk, which has many many issues (housing: least affordable in the world by far, many social welfare issues (underfunded and understaffed as per usual), massive income inequality, labour issues (see: recent spate of construction worker deaths), ppl extremely normalised to working 9 to 7).

however, hk is essentially run by real estate tycoons, and most of the government's money comes from land sales (there is no sales tax. there's salary tax but you know. tax evasion) so if property developers are Not Happy they can all decide not to buy said land (recent SCMP article about this). currently (as of the past year) the property market has been Bad (this is a good thing bc homes get more affordable and ppl can buy) and will probably not do too well in the next 2-3 years (the local/global economy is not doing too well etc. idk much really about economics). anyway i'm curious to see to what extent the new gvt with its minimal opposition can actually improve in hk esp since it the city is basically capitalism incarnate (south korea too tbh).

my dad also said something very interesting to me about hk: he thinks that since china has "taken back" hong kong, it cannot let hk "fail" /decline as a city because that would make them lose face. so he thinks that hong kong will tend towards prosperity in the future.

sorry i just realised this was supposed to be about diaspora. i've been thinking abt the pushback from non-diaspora (sorry i hate using the word """The Motherland""") towards them (see below:)

(haven't watched this film but it does look interesting)

and thinking about the political leanings of chinese diaspora in general. i feel a lot of chinese diaspora are diaspora bc their parents left china when the ccp came into power (1950s), or left hk in the 1970s (leftist riots), 1980s-90s (imminent handover to ccp), 2020s (national security law) etc so their parents' politics will tend to be anticommunist. (idk enough to speak about immigrants from taiwan). and i guess to some extent that's how you end up with ppl who are either conservative or boba liberals.

been also thinking about the qiao collective (i think they were mostly on twitter which i was not on, but are now relatively inactive) which was made up of leftist diaspora chinese against sinophobia and came up against accusations of being tankies and pro-ccp (skimmed this article but it gives an overview of the qiao collective).

i think there's a false but encouraged conflation of china, the ccp, and communism (e.g. why are you communist but not pro-ccp, if you don't love china you aren't a patriot (and by 愛國 the speaker means the ccp), if you criticise the ccp you are being sinophobic etc etc) from both china and the west and it is all deeply frustrating.

and then of course you also have the everlasting discourse on uyghur governance in xinjiang (repression depending on who you talk to) that has been so muddied by fanatical and unquestioning coverage by the west and unquestioningly held up as the pinnacle of sinophobia and stated to be utterly false by some ppl on this site. which imo the latter idea seems deeply naive (see this post, unsourced but i think it is a better idea of what is actually happening there.)

and also the paradox of ppl from mainland china who move to canada but are still deeply pro-ccp (i am thinking of when pro-china and pro-hk ppl clashed during overseas protests in 2019) but to be fair this is not a really good argument because it can be applied to basically everything...perhaps a similar parallel would be british muslims protesting lgbt and sex education outside uk schools.

sidenote recently i saw a pro-ccp chinese diaspora person on tumblr mention they wanted to move to taiwan. and i do wonder what the thinking is behind that (see: military exercises around the island, the spectre of imminent invasion of taiwan etc) even though i do understand the wanting to move to taiwan.

long ass reply. and of course all of these thoughts are open to criticism

having some thoughts abt chinese diaspora lately (i am not diaspora btw. i think). if anyone has recommended readings please share

[averlym]

whshdfhfjf.,,,

[overworked-bookworm]

.

let me drop some drama on y’all — in the last year + 7 days, I:

reconnected with multiple friends from high school at a wedding I legally officiated for two old friends

realized in hindsight that I had liked one of our classmates when we were in school, who had attended the wedding and was now recently divorced

started talking to him very often and, by proxy, the husband I officiated the wedding for

started an on-off flirtation with the divorced friend — [clarification: HE started it, but I was very receptive when I realized what he was doing, it just took me a while]

became the “dump my mental health problems” friend for the husband^ who I’ve said is like a baby brother to me for *checks calendar* 12+ years

was accused by my friend’s wife AND the friend that I was flirting with that I was having an affair with the husband or at least harboring romantic feelings for him

she also accused me of behaving like her abusive mother, when I told her she was out of line for even thinking I would have an affair with (1) her husband (2) who I kept saying was like a baby brother to me

held an intervention for the husband about his ragingly out of control anxiety, where he proceeded to, like, beat the windows of the car and yell and be violent [not at me but around me and I was very triggered and scared] — after which he said he couldn’t trust me anymore because I was projecting my anxiety onto him, and he was fine

fell into an episode of psychosis because I was surrounded by people who didn’t trust me for reasons they’d all made up in their heads, and were all mad at me for ❤️

[while in psychosis] dealt with the guy I was flirting with talking about wanting to sleep with his coworker, and being very on/off + hot/cold with me — which I wrote off as post-divorce emotional problems I just needed to be patient through lmao

[while in psychosis] dealt with the husband’s mental breakdown about never wanting to get married in the first place, dragging my family and the family of the guy I was flirting with into the mess — we got the husband pink slipped and I stopped talking to him and his wife

was told by the friend that had been flirting with me that he’d been leading me on, as he proceeded to ditch me for another friend that I helped him reconnect with — but promised me that we were besties and nothing would change!! (how kind. also? he broke that promise immediately and called me difficult)

dealt with his new girlfriend lying to me about them not being together, because no!! hoes before bros, Alex, I would never date someone who hurt my friend!! but also you need to be personally accountable for feeling hurt!!

there’s more in the way they’ve both treated me since he decided he was done with me, but my therapist and I are still parsing through it

turns out I probably don’t need to be taking Ativan twice a day and sleeping after work + all night bc of the high dosage, I just needed to start cutting out bad friends! my anxiety has never been more managed now that I’ve decided to listen to every other friend that’s told me these ones were all no good for me! I do need the anti-psychotics, though. I heard voices for 2 months and it was NOT a good time.

I didn’t have this much drama in my life ten years ago when we were actual children — the next time I start posting about liking a man, someone remind me that it brings me absolute misery. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t wanted to hop on his dick 🙄🙄🙄

[aphroditeinthesea]

“ the best thing that’s ever been mine ”

jason grace x greek!fem!reader ⚡

a quest turned unforgettable

a/n happy 30th birthday loml (bc he's very alive xo)

⋆ ˚｡ ⚡︎♡⚡︎ ˚｡ ⋆

Y/N was already exhausted. She joined Jason on their last quest before they would be off to New Rome University.

“There’s too many choices,” she complained, laying upside down on the motel bed in a random small town in Vermont, “I cannot decide between journalism and creative writing.”

The tall blond walked out of the bathroom and leaned against the doorframe. He held his toothbrush that was still covered in the blue paste, “why don't you do both?”

She thought for a second, “I’ll decide when we get there, I guess.”

He leaned back inside the bathroom to spit in the sink before joining her on the bed. She leaned over, laying her head in his lap so her so he could play with her hair, “two weeks.”

“Ugh,” she scrunched her face, “that’s so weird.”

“It’s not that weird,” he laughed, “it’s nice. We’re gonna be moving in together, every night can be like this.”

She smiled, sitting up, “seems too good to be true.”

He trailed his arm around her, letting her rest her head on his shoulder, “I know, every morning I actually have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not still dreaming,” he melancholically smiled, “I have to make sure I have this life, that this is actually happening to me,” he looked down at her, “and that you're real.”

She bit her lip, smiling, “cheesy.”

“Hey!” He defended, “I open up to you and get called cheesy?”

She giggled, “sorry, sorry,” she pressed a kiss to his cheek, causing his expression to soften, “I just think it’s cute you think I might not be real.”

“How is that cute?” he laughed. She kneeled on the bed to now be taller than him, “because it means you love me.”

He laid back, pulling her down with him, “love isn't a strong enough word, sweetheart.”

“Hm,” she positioned herself on her elbows, “then what is?”

“I don't think there’s a word for it.”

“Enamored, adoration, agape?”

“Did you just open a thesaurus?”

She cackled, throwing her head back, “it’s called a brain, blondie.”

“Sorry, I’ve never heard of that,” he joked.

She leaned up, kissing the corner of his mouth, “most people’s are in their head, but yours might be here,” she held onto his bicep.

“Wow, Y/N,” he sighed, “where’s yours then?”

She shrugged, sitting up to lean on the headboard, “considering I came on this quest, because I didn't want to leave you, I say here,” she answered, pointing to her chest.

“Your heart?” he grinned.

“No, my boobs.”

He let out a bray laugh, throwing himself onto a pillow. She grabbed another pillow to hit him with.

“Ow!”

“That did not hurt.”

“It could’ve,” he responded.

“You’ve been stabbed countless times, I think you can handle a feather pillow.”

“Wow, hit me where it hurts,” he sarcastically replied.

“Okay,” she smiled, hitting him again.

“Y/N!” He yelped, shielding his face with his arms.

She hit him again, and again, and again. When she finally stopped, he stared up at her in a way that his blue eyes might as well be shaped like hearts, “Jason?”

“Will you marry me?”

Her eyes widened, she trailed his face, trying to figure out whether or not he was being serious. The way his eyebrows nervously creased and a soft smile curved on his lips, told her all she needed to know.

“When?”

He sat up with her, “really?”

She bit her bottom lip before a smile found its way to her cheeks, “I love you more than anything, Jase. We might as well.”

He kissed her, tightly holding her face in his hands. She was first to pull away, although still tracing his bottom lip with her thumb, “there’s a convenience store, across the street.”

“Yeah?”

“I bet they sell ring pops.”

“Oh?” he looked at her for a second, “let’s go.” He quickly got up, pulling on a hoodie. She followed, putting on a pair of leggings to pair with the oversized t-shirt that belonged to her boyfriend. Scratch that. Fiancé. “Ready?” He smiled with an outstretched hand.

She took his hand in hers, “ready.”

They rushed out of their room in a fit of giggles. The thought they probably woke up a few of the other people staying there crossed both their minds for a quick second before the true situation was the only thing they could think about. They were gonna get married.

They stepped out to see the empty streets and sidewalks. She briefly looked up at Jason, “Jay?”

“Yeah?” He looked down to her with an unfaltering smile on his lips.

“Are we dumb?”

He thought for a second, looking at the stars that were so clear in the Vermont sky where there was maybe one streetlight in sight. “No.”

She laughed, leaning her head against his arm as they crossed the street, where Jason insisted on looking both ways even though there wasn't a car in a hundred mile radius. “I think we’re idiots.”

“You're the only one,” he paused, “I mean the only one who thinks that,” he defended, “not the only idiot.” He stopped again before continuing, “not that either of us are idiots, we’re very smart actually. This is a smart thing to do.” He kissed her head as she stifled laughs at the boy’s nervousness. He opened the door of the convenience store, letting her walk in first.

She crossed her arms, “when we get back to camp, Annabeth gonna be on our asses about this.”

“Hey,” he turned around to grab both her hands, “you wanna do this, right?”

She leaned up to kiss his lips, “more than anything.”

“Good,” he grabbed something off a shelf to look at to divert his gaze from her shining eyes, “because I don't think I’ve ever been happier than right now.”

She tilted her head. She placed her hand under his chin to get him to look at her once more, “seriously?”

He looked around awkwardly. He then placed his lips to hers as he whispered, “you’re the greatest thing in my life. I love you more than anything.”

Her smile beamed at him, “I love you, too, blondie.”

He laughed, “then let’s get some rings.”

They aimlessly wandered the small store to look for the candy aisle. They giddily pranced into the section.

“Okay, what’s your favorite flavor?” He asked her as they stood before the ring pops.

“Cherry,” She leaned forward to grab the package, she turned to look back at the son of Jupiter, “what about you?”

“I don't know,” he shrugged, “I’ve actually never had one.”

“No way,” she grinned. “Here,” she picked through the flavors, “I think you’d like this one,” she handed him the blue raspberry candy, “it matches your eyes.”

“Thanks, love,” he took it from her grasp before grabbing her free hand, “you wanna go get married now?”

Her heart fluttered at the reminder of what they were truly doing. They were getting married. They were going to be husband and wife. Bounded by holy matrimony.

“You okay?”

She quickly nodded, “never been better.”

They hurriedly checked out and rushed out of the store. They both stopped in their tracks just outside of the store.

“Where are we getting married?” He mentioned, looking down at the girl.

“Yeah, I don't know.”

“Wait, one second,” he let go of her hand to grab his phone out of his pocket.

“If you get any single out here, I think it’s a sign we have to get married.”

He chuckled, typing into Google. “Hey, wait, there’s a chapel ten minutes away.”

“You're kidding,” she responded, leaning against him to see his phone, “but it closes in five minutes?” she frowned.

“Hold on,” he dialed in the phone number he found on the website. He held his phone to his ear, a few seconds passed before he spoke, “hello? Sorry, I know it’s late but- yeah, we were hoping we could get married tonight,” he locked eyes with her as he continued, “uhm, Y/N L/N and Jason Grace,” he went silent for a minute, “really? That’d be amazing, thank you so much. We’ll be right there.” He placed his phone back in his pocket, “we’re getting married tonight,” he couldn't have smiled any wider when he spoke.

She laughed in amazement. She jumped up, wrapping her arms around his neck, “we’re getting married!” she nearly shouted. 

He kissed her hair, tightly holding her, “we’re getting married,” he slowly let go of her, “but we have to hurry.”

“Right,” she nodded. I want to say that they flew there as in they just drove really fast, but they did in fact fly there. Above the wooded forest that lined the streets. When they finally arrived at the chapel, there was a singular light on by the front door and a sign with missing letters that read Elysium Wedding Chapel.

“Elysium,” she spoke, “are you serious?”

“A little threatening,” Jason joked as they walked closer to the white building. He squeezed her hand as he knocked on the door.

An older woman, about 70 or so, answered the door. A smile donned her face as her eyes met the two, “you must be Y/N and Jason! Come in!” She led the two of them into what looked to be a living room with pink and floral furniture that looked to be from the fifties or so.

“Thank you for taking us so late,” Jason mentioned as the woman opened a large book. She stood under an arch adorned with fake pink flowers and green vines.

“Nonsense,” she replied, “we hardly ever get visitors,” another woman, who seemed a bit younger walked in, “oh! Here’s my daughter, Alexandria, she’ll be your witness.”

“Nice to meet you,” Alexandria said, “you two look young, how old are you?”

“We’re eighteen,” Y/N answered, her arm now locked with Jason and her hand holding his.

“Oh my!” Both women exclaimed, causing giggles from the couple. The older woman seemed as though she was about to speak again but suddenly began looking around the stand where the book was on.

“Geez Louise, I lost my glasses again,” she shook her head, “I’ll be right back.” With that, she scurried out of the room.

There was a moment of silence before Alexandria began to speak, “you know why we call it the Elysium Wedding Chapel?”

They both shook their heads, momentarily sharing a look before turning back to the woman.

“Elysium was the Greek equivalent of Heaven. So, when my mother and father opened this place, they thought about how romantic the Greeks were and decided to name it after their Heaven.”

“That’s amazing,” Y/N responded. She then looked up at the blond, “right, sweetheart?”

He smirked, “yeah, the Greeks really were romantic.” There were those heart eyes again. He soon looked at the woman, “she’s Greek actually,” his head motioned towards his soon-to-be wife.

“I should've known,” the elder added, “Greek girls are always the prettiest.” (i’m totally not just saying that because i’m greek.)

Y/N grinned, “thank you.”

The older woman once again came into the room, “found them! Now, let’s get this show on the road.” She guided the couple to the arch, “you two hold hands.” The two mirrored each other, both distracted by the adrenaline in their veins to think straight. It was finally becoming real, that they were to be married in the next few minutes.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join together this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony,” she turned to Jason, “do you have vows you wish to read.”

They shared a look. Jason’s hands sweated in Y/N’s grasp. Sky blue eyes met e/c ones as his mouth opened, “Y/N, I know you already know this, but I love you, so much,” he blinked in an attempt to stop himself crying, “I never thought that I could be loved in the capacity that you do. I always was taught to believe that I was nothing but a soldier,” he hesitated, realizing how strange that must've sounded to the strangers, “but I think you freed me and I’ll forever thank you for that, Y/N.” “Damn it,” she mumbled as tears began to spill, “Jason, if anyone asked, you are the most incredible person to walk this planet. You are the most selfless, caring, loving person I have ever met. Since the day I met you, I knew I never wanted to be away from you for a second, and there would be no greater gift than spending my life with you.” He let his tears rain down when she finished. He looked down as he tried to gather himself.

The woman turned to Jason, “do you Jason, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in matrimony, to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?”

He sniffled, “I do.”

“Do you Y/N, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to live together in matrimony, to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?”

Y/N widely smiled, her cheeks hurting from how much she had done so that evening, “I do. I really do.”

“Rings?” The woman questioned.

“Right, sorry,” he grabbed the bag he had left on a nearby table.

“Oh!” The woman raised her eyebrows, “ring pops?”

“The only thing we could get on short notice,” Y/N mentioned, smiling through the tears on her face.

“Okay, then,” the woman laughed, “repeat after me,” Jason tightly held onto the cherry candy, “with this ring, I thee wed.”

“With this ring, I thee wed,” he slipped the ring onto the girl.

Y/N’s hands began to shake, “with this ring, I thee wed,” she repeated.

The woman clasped her hands together, “by the power invested in me, I pronounce you, Jason Grace and Y/N L/N, man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Jason took her face in his hands, bringing their lips together. She could taste the salt on his lips from the tears, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was that she was kissing her husband.

They left the chapel, hand in hand. No words were said on their way back to the motel. They had said everything they had needed to say for centuries. But just before they entered the room, Jason stopped her.

“What?” She questioned, looking around.

He opened the door before turning back and picking her up bridal style, “I had to,” he smiled. She threw her head back, laughing. She wrapped her arms around his neck as they walked into the room. He placed her softly on the bed, hovering over her.

“I love you, Mrs. Grace,” he whispered just as he pressed a kiss to her lips.

She brushed her thumbs against his cheeks, “I love you, Mr. Grace.” He kissed her once more, “hm, you take good, too.”

He chuckled, “so do you.”

“I think we should always eat ring pops before we kiss.”

He kissed her neck before looking back up at her, “anything you want.”

-----

bonus! 

Y/N and her secret husband sat side by side on the grass of Camp Half Blood alongside the rest of the Seven as well as Nico and Will.

“Why are you wearing an old ring pop?” Annabeth queried.

“Oh, uhm,” Y/N panicked as she scrambled to find an answer.

Leo interrupted before she could say anything, “I was asking Jason the same thing earlier!”

That’s when the daughter of Athena noticed the matching ring on the boy’s left ring finger. She looked back up at Y/N, “you didn't.”

“Annabeth-”

“You got married!” the blonde girl exclaimed.

Everyone crowded around the two asking questions about what happened.

“I can’t believe you didn't tell us,” Percy commented, crossing arms.

“We didn't tell anyone,” Jason defended, “we barely knew what was happening!”

“I can't believe you didn't choose me as your best man,” Leo offensively added.

The blond rubbed his forehead, “I didn't have a best man at all, Leo.”

“How did it happen?” Piper questioned, leaning closer to the two.

“If you guys would shut up for five seconds, we’ll tell you,” Y/N responded.

They both went on to tell the group everything. From the pillow fight, to the vows. The way they laughed and talked over each other made them realize that husband and wife was the simplest way you could describe them.

[grapefives]

STARRY EYED | HC

senku x gn!reader

astronomy + friends to lovers + reader is a good drawer + light fluff + author knows jack about astronomy + two nerds in a room they might…

he finds you wide awake, staring at the sky.

even more amusing; you have a journal and pencil in your hands, soft mumbles of spoken thoughts emitting from you.

“night watching to a whole different level, hm?” senku finds himself teasing as he climbs up to the roof to join you.

he’s rarely ever talked to you really, probably only to bark out orders and explain in full, head spinning directions.

“i guess,” you say awkwardly as you close your journal, a but shy now that someone is up here with you.

senku eyes the journal before eyeing you. he won’t press. instead he turns to look at the sky.

“what do you see?” he asks.

“the moon,” you say bitterly.

he snorts, “aside from it.”

your ears turn read but your face remains dull, “and stars.”

“hmmm,” he looks at the sky once more.

you find the courage to ask him, “and you?”

and as expected, he starts to list off all the things he sees. planets, the names of each star he assumes has exploded into nothingness while they were stuck in stone and a bunch of things you wished you comprehended.

“wow,” you mumble. “makes me wish i actually learned back then”.

“this is just basic knowledge,” senku says blandly.

he sees you frown. he feels a tad bad now.

“i can teach you if you want, there’s still lots i need to relearn since things aren’t the way they were anymore.”

“you sure?” you ask, looking at him with a tiny hint of excitement.

an excitement he knows very well, and as soon as the thought of how cute you looked like that, is just as soon as he suppresses it.

“you sleepy?” he asks, unsure how you’re currently feeling.

“nope, why do you think i’m out here?”

senku feels a smile crawl up his face, but his lips only twitch. “come on, let’s go.”

and he takes you to the observatory, the place you’ve been far too hesitant to ask permission to enter in.

and senku was a lot gentle with his explaining and ranting. above everything, he first made sure you were comfortable with jotting things down and asking random questions that were needed for your knowledge.

seeing you grin at your own discoveries and having someone to fawn over space with made senku feel quite warm.

observing and analyzing space became a thing between you too.

anything else went with chrome and gen and taiju. or anyone else really.

but he found himself enjoying having you for that specifically.

and when he saw how much you enjoyed it as well, his feelings started to shift.

late night talks. late night peace.

it was almost…. intimate. almost like, if anyone else came in, they’d disrupt the vibe and he’d probably feel irritated.

“and that’s it, i’m beat,” you huff happily but filled with exhaustion.

senku grabs your journal, which is already on its last remaining pages, and flips through it. he knew you weren’t guarding it as much anymore.

and he felt more comfortable to grab it now that he learned how easily you dropped your guard around him during these moments.

“nice,” he smiles, proud at how much and how fast you learned.

“off i go,” you say casually, leaving the journal in his hands. “put it in my bag when you’re done.”

“no,” he says with a puff, dropping the journal on the table.

you roll your eyes, smiling at him. “give,” you extend your hand and he stares at it, almost tempted to try pulling you into his embrace.

instead, he puts the journal in your hand like asked.

he watched you intently, finding himself fawning over how cute you look tired.

“good night,” he says as you walk past him to head out.

“night,” you say as you ruffle his hair, making him huff and slap your hand away.

your laugh rings in his ears. and when he feels himself blush, he grows in subtle horror at the realization of what his feelings for you are becoming.

it remains something to himself, locked deep down as the days pass by.

however he soon finds himself unable to fully focus, constantly glancing over at you.

he’s subtle of course, not risking anything.

but darn is it hard to suppress his feelings when you suddenly start to get touchy.

a pat in the shoulder shouldn’t be making him so flustered.

a simple praise shouldn’t make him yearn for something more.

you smiling at taiju a lot more shouldn’t make him jealous.

“i think i’m interested in you,” he blurts out calmly in the depth of the silent room the two of you are once again in.

your pencil stops moving and you visibly tense. your mind falls blank, unable to process the idea you once had to senku’s confession.

it floods your senses.

“what?” you ask, so soft in the room but so loud in both his ears and yours.

“you heard me,” he says, feeling anxious.

you force yourself to look at him, eyes slightly wide. “you… like me? are you sure?” it’s laced with fear and yearn

“i’m sure. why else would i say it?” he says, hoping he doesn’t show his nervousness. but he’s always been good at hiding it.

“you said think though.” you find yourself tease, the nerves giving you some adrenaline and confidence.

“y/n,” he says soft but sternly.

you find yourself grinning, “i think i’m interested in you too.”

but it remains like that. confessions in the air, because the two of you were far too nervous to ask the question.

that is, until gen figures it out and tells senku to stop playing dumb.

so once more, the two of you are in the quiet room. but after the confessions, the two of you had grown a bit… distant.

“i’m not avoiding you,” he finds himself blurting it out again

“mm?” you look up at him, quickly looking away.

“why aren’t we dating?”

you blink. then you laugh, “the simple question hasn’t been thrown. by neither of us.”

“then-“ he takes a deep breath, “let’s date.”

you find yourself frowning. but…. “how romantic,” you tease.

“take it or leave it.”

with another laugh, you take it.

[bomberqueen17]

looks like i picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines

no no that's a quote from the movie airplane. i tried amphetamines, by prescription, and i know i didn't find them particularly helpful, but i don't remember why. i've spent the last couple of weeks aggressively checked out of reality almost completely lost in my attempts to write a novel about solarpunk tall ships and the hot bisexuals who sail them, and that has been hella fun (i should share a snippet sometime. i will.) but it also means my car is still overdue for inspection and i need to figure out how to pay my physical therapy bill and i have several other urgent tasks piled up plus i still have an enormous quantity of luggage and things i removed from my cabin to winterize it piled in my house's entryway etc. so.

so anyway i've resumed amphetamines, since i had a two-week supply and only took one of them. and we'll see how that goes.

(yeah other friends of mine who've gotten diagnoses have had doctors insist on them monitoring their like, cardiac health or blood pressure with these, and it is slightly surprising to me that nobody has asked me about those things, but on the other hand, i seem to have been fine, so i guess this is ok. i found this guy through my insurance company so this isn't like. well. i don't know. it's the finest supervision i can get through my shitty insurance i guess.)

anyway. tall ships bisexuals is actually going pretty well but extremely disorganizedly. i need to get that under some kind of control.

i bought a stand mixer but haven't gotten it yet.

I also just forgot what i was going to write here, so this is going really well, score another one for the vyvanse. yes yes i'm keeping a comprehensive journal.

wow no really i don't remember where i was going with this. heck! welp. oh yeah no, i've been queueing enormous numbers of political posts and then going back and deleting them as unhelpful, so you're welcome. facebook memories helpfully showed me my post from eight years ago on this topic and mostly i'm like oh wow i was on facebook eight years ago? but if i look, mostly i was not. lol i signed up for facebook almost twenty years ago and decided it was Not For Me almost fifteen years ago and it still sends me twenty emails a day about my friends it's holding hostage, this is kind of amazing. anyway.

well i've been sitting here trying to lure my agitated cat to sit down and kick me out of the recliner, and after literally half an hour it has finally worked. so, off i go to drink like three gallons of water because that is the one thing i remember about being on meth that was really really important. you think "ah i need some more water" and you pour yourself a cup of it and it's gone and you're like "where did that go" so you drink three more cups and then you're like "wow i'm thirsty did i forget to drink water" and you wind up drinking incredible amounts of water and never peeing so. anyway that's a lot easier now that it's winter and i'm living someplace with running water, so. thumbs up.

woof i took a multivitamin and a fish oil capsule at the same time and i can taste that fish oil capsule, well done me =_=

[wholesomefluffdaddy]

Wednesday's new court mandated therapist is having her keep a journal of her thoughts and feelings. Wednesday finds this to be a complete waste of time and decides instead to use it to record her observations of her unusual roommate Enid Sinclair. Wednesday POV.

——————————————

Entry 18

Current Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent 🌒

Today Enid suggested we head into Jericho for Christmas shopping. I informed her that this was unnecessary for me as I had already finished making my Yuletide gifts before the final month began. She looked a little taken aback but I was quick to clarify that it did not mean I wouldn't join her in town. I donned my jacket and took her hand in my own. She lit up again at once and immediately pulled me out of our dorm.

As we walked through the halls on our way down to the bus she asked me many questions about Yule. I had no qualms in educating her about its history, symbols, and traditions.

'Woah! So it's kind of like an old timey Christmas?' Was her response. I cannot describe the physical pain this caused me. 'Willa, are you okay?' She asked as we boarded the bus.

'Perhaps it would also be prudent to discuss the history of the holiday you celebrate as well.' I said, taking a calming breath as we sat down. I could tell that it would be a long trip to Jericho.

-YourFavoriteFruitBat is now livestreaming-

"What's up guys! YourFavoriteFruitBat here along with my girl GayMerGirl as we head into town! We're going to see how long I can stand in the local churches before I catch fire!"

"You're not seriously doing that are you?"

"Hey chat it looks like we've got a guest appearance by QBB - Queen Bee Barclay!"

"Don't call me that."

"So what are your plans for town today?"

"Well, I guess they now include staying away from the churches."

"Aw, come on Bianca don't be- Wait, chat's going crazy. Hold on. Oh shit! I guess we've also got an impromptu episode of Wenid Watch!"

"So this is still a thing?"

"Yeah, it's become even more popular over the past couple weeks. I remember when Yoko started filming them occasionally as a joke but now everyone is super invested."

"Like, their relationship?"

"Yup! It's the whole 'will they won't they' kind of thing. Except they're finally together now, I think."

"Shh! Quiet you two! This is a rare sighting of the two love bats outside of their nest!"

"-and it was the psychoactive component of the amanita muscaria, or fly agaric, that caused hallucinations, with the most common hallucination being that of flying reindeer."

"Wow! But wait, if people only hallucinated the reindeer flying then how did the Christmas Werewolf win the werewolf games?"

"The… what?"

"The werewolf games! How did the Christmas Werewolf win if the reindeer he ate didn't actually fly?"

"I am unaware of such a tale."

"You not know about the Christmas Werewolf? Ha! Quit joking!"

"This is no jest, cara mia."

"You know, the Christmas Werewolf."

"Mi amor, I am afraid that you repeating it does not give me any greater clarity."

"…You? You really haven't heard the story of the Christmas Werewolf?"

"No. I am woefully ignorant."

"…"

"Please enlighten me."

"Okay! So my dad always told the story just before the twelve days of Christmas began back when my brothers and I were just cubs-"

"Cubs?"

"You know, kid werewolves."

"Ah, I see. Continue."

"The Christmas Werewolf, okay so you know how werewolves remain wolfed out for the twelve days of Christmas right?"

"No..."

"Really? Okay, uh, there's a lot I'm going to need to cover then. Anyway, werewolves who have completed their first full wolf out stay wolfed out during the twelve days of Christmas. That's when we compete in the werewolf games."

"And what happens in these games?"

"Well, we test our strength and stuff, like running and hunting and jumping. There's also alcohol involved but that's mainly for the older werewolves. Anyway, so the story goes that a long time ago on a cold winter's night all the local werewolves gathered together for the werewolf games. Everyone got to play except for one little werewolf. None of the other werewolves would let him join in the games because they said he was too small and weak and could never hope to compete. The little werewolf was very sad but determined to prove them wrong."

"The other werewolves laughed and said they would let him join in the games if he could jump over the wall of a nearby castle. The little werewolf saw how tall the wall was and knew he could not jump it all by himself. He wandered off into the woods and that's when he saw it: Santa's reindeer. The little werewolf got an idea. If the reindeer could fly, maybe he could too if he ate one."

"That took a rather unexpected turn."

"So, he comes up with this whole big plan to catch one of the reindeer. Long story short he succeeds and eats one of the reindeer and goes back to the other werewolves. Anyway, he wins because he can jump super high now and gets crowned the Christmas Werewolf."

"And how did Santa respond to the death of one of his reindeer?"

"Well, I mean, that's why Santa doesn't deliver presents to werewolves. And why we can't enjoy hot chocolate at Christmas. And also why his reindeer wear silver bells, so werewolves never eat his reindeer again."

"That… makes sense."

"I know right? But if the flying reindeer were hallucinations, how did the Christmas werewolf make the jump?"

"I would suppose that with this werewolf being quite clever he found some alternative way to clear that castle wall."

"I guess."

"Enid, if the character of Saint Nicholas refuses to bring gifts to werewolves why have you hung stockings?"

"Oh! Those aren't for Santa! It's for the Christmas werewolf to leave dried venison. It's symbolic of the meat of the flying reindeer."

"Why stockings?"

"Well, you can't wear stockings when you're wolfed out, silly. That's why he puts it in there."

"Of course. And the tree?"

"Werewolf Christmases are mostly spent outside, since almost everyone is wolfed out. So we have two trees that are decorated the same. One inside for the cubs that haven't wolfed out and one outside for everyone else. You can find your family by the tree outside that is decorated like the one inside."

"There appears to be much I do not know about werewolf Christmas."

"I don't know. I think they're mostly the same. I mean, you spend time with family and people you care about, you give gifts, and you compete to see who is the strongest."

"Must one be a werewolf to partake in these games?"

"Uh, technically no but they are very challenging if you aren't."

"What is the prize of winning said games?"

"Well, you get to be the Christmas Werewolf."

"And what does that entail?"

"You get first pick when it comes to meals, everyone has to listen to you, you get bragging rights, and you hunt the Christmas reindeer so you can put venison in everyone's stockings."

"Interesting. Tell me the games again."

"Willa? You're not- you're not thinking of competing are you?"

"Would it be inappropriate for me to?"

"No but, you're not, you're kinda-"

"Yes?"

"You're small."

"Is the story you told me not about the small and clever overcoming brute strength?"

"Yes but Willa- My family is super competitive."

"As am I, querida."

"Willa no."

"I am merely curious, mi loba."

"Well chat? What do you think? Do you think Wednesday Addams has what it takes to compete in the werewolf games?"

"I worry for the werewolves to be honest."

"Bianca's got the spirit! I'm adding a poll down in chat. Chat, do you think Wednesday has a chance? I guess we'll have to wait till after winter break to find out!"

-YourFavoriteFruitBat has ended the livestream-

[nice-bright-colors]

So there’s this…

I just dug up a side journal about this journey, and re-read it for the first time.

Wow my life was really not in a good place back then. I’m somewhat amazed that I didn’t throw in the towel.

I’ll spare you all the details from here, and just publish the “final thoughts and observations” below the cut..

I guess I really don’t need alcohol as a crutch

I would like to change my life, but I’m very scared of going back out there alone

I guess I have dying young to look forward too, if nothing else at all

I’m alone & lonely even with other people around

I’m going to make a serious effort o change my life

My health and longevity need to be first

I’d like to drop lbs. and lower my blood pressure

I’d like to be healthier and cycle more - never being home creates a problem

Next target is 4 months - I haven’t gone that long without drinking since I was 20 years old. Since then it’s been 4-5 drinks every day - for the last 26 years. Then I just stopped.

[smilingformoney]

Sharing Part VI | Eli/Reader

Summary: You've just started a job at a new college, and one particular colleague is really grinding your gears. (Or: How you started fucking Eli Michaelson.)

Read now on Ao3 or below the cut:

Hi Eli, Sorry to bother you - just to let you know I just got forwarded an email that your 9AM Monday is in room B3. My 9AM Monday is in B3 so there must be a mixup somewhere! Thought you might wanna know so you can check with facilities :) Thanks, [Y/n] [L/n] (new Literature professor!)

Dear Ms [L/n], There is no mixup. I will be using B3 on Monday mornings from now on. I suggest you contact facilities yourself to arrange an alternative. Regards, Dr Eli Michaelson, PhD, Nobel Laureate

Dear Dr Michaelson, I’ve just contacted facilities and this was their response: “We were informed by Dr Michaelson on Tuesday that you had agreed his class would take B3 on Mondays. He informed us you would be in touch to arrange a new location for your class but we haven’t yet heard from you until now. Please find attached available classrooms at the specified time.” I don’t recall agreeing anything with you. In fact I’m fairly certain we’ve never spoken before. It’s now Friday evening and my students might not even read their emails until Monday. I need the AV equipment in B3 so can’t really move at such short notice. Can you please use your old classroom for now and we can arrange something next week? Regards, Dr [Y/n] [L/n], PhD

Dr [L/n] — Congrats on achieving your PhD since your last email. Guess I forgot to tell you I was taking the room. I also need the AV equipment so I suggest you find somewhere else. Not sure what a literature class would require AV for anyway. You teach books, not films. Regards, Dr Eli Michaelson, PhD, Nobel Laureate

Dr Michaelson, Don’t you teach Chemistry? Not sure what you’d need AV for either. Are you in your office right now? I’d like to discuss this please.

Dr [L/n], Yes I am. But there’s no discussion to be had. Let me know what room you move to and I’ll ensure there’s a sign on the classroom door directing your students to the right classroom. Dr Eli Michaelson, PhD, Nobel Laureate

When he heard a knock on the door ten minutes later, Eli was irritated but not surprised.

“Office hours are over,” he said, not raising his eyes from the journal he was reading.

Despite his clear words, the door was opened anyway. With a sigh, he glanced up… and saw what could only be described, in inelegant yet accurate terms, as the hottest piece of ass that had ever walked through his door.

“Dr Michaelson, we need to discuss these classroom arrangements,” you said firmly as you closed the door behind you and approached his desk, clutching an iPad in one hand. “Now, I may be new here, but I’ve worked in plenty enough colleges to know it’s bad form to steal someone’s classroom and not even tell them.”

Eli shrugged. “I need the room, sweetheart.”

Your eyes narrowed. “Call me sweetheart one more time, I’d really like that.”

Oh, this one’s bratty, he thought. He sure loved taming brats.

“Listen, as you’re new here, I’ll forgive you this time for not knowing the pecking order. But I’m a Nobel Laureate, so I’m a pretty big deal around here. If I want B3, I’m getting B3. You’re just gonna have to find somewhere else.”

“Pecking order?” you scoffed. “This ain’t a schoolyard, Doctor . This is a professional establishment. We’re all equals here, you can’t just take a room and not think about the consequences for another class —”

“A professional establishment you’ve been at for two seconds, so pipe down, sweetheart. Now, I want B3, and when I want something, I take it, so you’re just gonna have to deal with it.” He glanced at the clock and raised an eyebrow. “You’d better be quick, facilities close in ten.”

Wow. Just wow. You’d heard of Eli Michaelson’s reputation for being an arrogant prick, but you hadn’t expected him to be so blasé about it. Clearly, he was trying to assert himself over the newbie, and he really seemed to expect you to roll over and take it.

Well, he had no idea what he was getting himself in for.

“Fine,” you sneered. “Take the damn room. I got better things to do with my Friday night than to stand here arguing with a jackass.”

Eli just laughed at you. He glanced at the hand clutching the iPad, and noted the lack of a wedding band.

“What, got a hot date?”

You snorted. “Yeah, with my vibrator. Good night, Dr Michaelson. Enjoy your stupid classroom.”

You left, slamming the door shut for effect, and Eli just smiled to himself. He was going to enjoy pursuing this one.

---

Eli conducted his Monday class in B3, and kept his word about putting up a sign to send the Literature students to F2 once Facilities had told him where your class had moved to. It wasn’t to assist you, of course - he just didn’t want lost Literature students wandering into his class.

He’d almost been late to his class, because he’d been unable to get into his normal parking space. He had a reserved space with his name clearly on it, right by the science block, yet some idiot had parked right next to his spot and managed to park so badly that not even a motorbike could have gotten into his space. Frustrated and already running late, he parked directly behind the shittily parked car, at a 90 degree angle, so as to block both his space and the shit driver’s. Whoever they were, they’d have to wait until he went home to get their car out.

Normally he’d drive into town for lunch, but he didn’t want to risk letting the shit parker escape, so he decided to stay on campus. The canteen had some decent enough food, and some pretty good bacon rolls… which were all out of stock.

He sighed, then out of the corner of his eye realised that the person in front of him in the queue had taken the last one.

And, of course, that person was you.

Eli grabbed the sandwich from your tray and dropped it onto his. “Hey, thanks for saving that for me, ‘preciate it,” he said smugly.

You turned and gave him the stink eye.

“You take sandwiches as well as classrooms now, huh?”

“I told you. I take what I want.”

You rolled your eyes, chose not to argue, and took a different sandwich from the shelf.

You wondered where he’d parked.

---

The rivalry continued for weeks. You didn’t run into each other much, being in different departments, but when you did you both did your best to one-up the other.

He held the door for a student who was walking behind him and in front of you - then closed it in your face.

You waited for his coffee order to be called, then took it for yourself.

He asked Leah Driver to sign up for your class and report back to him so he could find an opportunity to mess with you. Leah, being completely enamoured with him since they’d started fucking, agreed and told him that you had a guest lecturer coming in. He pulled some strings in Facilities and made sure your guest had the worst, smallest classroom on campus.

When his office door burst open that evening, he should have known it’d be you.

“Facilities told me you moved my guest lecture,” you said by way of greeting. “What the hell?”

He smirked at you. “Was the room not to your liking?”

”Piss off, Michaelson. Is this because I didn’t roll over and let you take my classroom at the start of term?”

“It’s because for such an esteemed professor, you seem to take an awful long time to learn a lesson. You still seem to have some notion that you’re in any way equal to me. You think I don’t know it’s you who can’t park for shit? You think I don’t see you trying to steal my coffee order? Pissing me off is not a good way to start your employment here, Dr [L/n].”

You placed your hands on his desk and leaned forward, probably trying to look menacing, but all Eli could see was the direct view he now had down your cleavage.

“You think I’m scared of you?” you sneered.

Eli leaned forward, his hands clasped together on the desk, matching your stare. He could see down your top even better from here.

“No, I don’t think you are. You clearly need to learn some respect for your betters.”

You scoffed and stood up straight to fold your arms as you looked down at him. Eli couldn’t stand that, so he stood up, and smirked when he realised he had a good few inches on you.

“You ever wonder why you’re single, Dr [L/n]? No man wants to date a brat like you.”

“Oh, we’re getting personal, are we?” you laughed. “How’s your wife and son? Have you heard from them since they stole two mil and ran off?”

“Oh, she’s done her research!” Eli retorted sarcastically. “Thanks for telling me what I already knew, sweetheart. Real gut punch there. Here, let me give you a little something.”

He moved over to a bookshelf behind him, and you circled the desk to look over his shoulder curiously as he pulled out a book and handed it to you.

Driver’s Ed Theory

“Oh, ha ha. I know how to drive, dickhead. I just want to piss you off.”

“And you can’t even do that properly,” Eli said with a shake of his head. “Disappointing. The quality of staff here really is depleting…”

“God, you are such an asshole!” you groaned with frustration.

“And you’re insufferable!”

“Self-centred —”

“Self-righteous —”

“Incorrigible —”

“Smartass —”

“— bastard!”

“— brat!”

Your lips smashed together desperately, as if your synchronous streams of insults had been a hidden trigger to cause both of you to have a sudden, desperate need to put the other in their place, by whatever means necessary.

Eli immediately grabbed at your ass. You and your stupid skirts had been taunting him for weeks, and he could have sworn they were getting shorter, even though the weather was getting colder. It was almost inappropriate, the way they clung to your figure, inviting him in like he was frozen in a blizzard and your cunt was a warm hearth.

He pushed you back until your thighs bumped into his desk, and he didn’t care what knocked over when he lifted you up to sit on the edge. Your legs parted immediately, letting him slip between them, and when you wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him against you he knew he had no choice. He had to have you.

You gasped for air when your lips finally parted, but you didn’t have much of a chance to recover before he grabbed your hips and turned you over, pushing down on your shoulder blades to smush your face against the desk, arse in the air.

Eli flipped up your skirt and groaned hungrily at the sigh of your ass, which felt deliciously smooth under his large hands, and he could see the wet patch that had formed on your panties.

“I ’ve been wondering for weeks what this cute little ass would look like bent over my desk,” he growled.

“You just gonna look or you gonna do something about it?” you teased, wiggling your hips invitingly, and Eli had to unbuckle his belt to stop his erection straining too hard against his trousers.

“You really are a brat, Dr [L/n],” he said, his breath heavy. “Have you really gone this long without being tamed?”

“Better men than you have tried.”

He squeezed your cheeks and chuckled darkly. “Sweetheart, there are no men like me.”

He hooked his fingers around your panties and pulled them down to pool at your feet. He let you kick them away, then used his foot to push your legs apart, spreading you apart for him on the desk.

“Keep them nice and wide for me… that’s right.”

Eli sat back in his chair and examined his view. He’d had a lot of grad students spread their legs for him over this desk, but there was always an air of desperation about them. They wanted to fuck him because they found the power imbalance hot, or because they thought it’d be easier than studying for an A, or because they just wanted to be able to say they’d fucked a Nobel Laureate. But you… you had this idea in your head that you were somehow his equal. And he needed to change that.

You let out a squeal of surprise when you felt something wet between your legs, and you realised suddenly that Eli was exploring your cunt with his tongue. Well, you certainly hadn’t expected that from such a self-centred asshole. You’d fully expected him to stick his cock in you, jackhammer his frustrations out, then send you on your way and not bother you again.

Of course, his technique wasn’t great. He didn’t seem to be aiming to pleasure you. It was more like he was trying to consume you, making out with your cunt purely for the sake of it. Getting a taste, marking his territory before he filled you up.

As much as you were enjoying it, you could feel your insides crying out to be filled. You didn’t even realise you were mumbling anything until Eli laughed and pulled away.

“What’s that, sweetheart? I can’t hear you.”

“Fuck me,” you begged. “Please, Eli - fuck, I need you inside me…”

“Oh, I will, sweetheart. Don’t you worry about that. But safety first.”

He stood up and you heard him opening a drawer, and then the rustle of a condom packet.

“You just got condoms lying around?”

“Never know when a brat might need taming.”

You turned your head to look at him over your shoulder. “Fuck a lot of girls over your desk, Dr Michaelson?”

“Maybe I do. Problem with that?”

“No,” you shrugged. It was completely unsurprising to you that a man as attractive and egotistical as Eli would fuck his students. “We’re all adults here. So long as you’re being safe.”

“Of course. Speaking of safety - colours okay? Yellow to slow down, red to stop?”

“Yep.”

“Good girl. Now, keep those legs open for me… you’ll find I’m a lot bigger than you’re used to.”

You felt him pushing at your entrance, and you scoffed. “Yeah, I’m sure you believe tha - ah, fuck!”

Alright, so maybe he wasn’t exaggerating. He was certainly girthy, and if you weren’t already dripping wet, you might have been worried about him fitting. But he slipped in easily, and you let out a low moan as you felt him stretching you out, your walls weeping with relief that finally they were being stretched by the flesh of a man, rather than the plastic of your vibrator.

It hadn’t even been that long since you’d last fucked anyone. But it had certainly been a long time since you’d have a good fuck, and already Eli was miles ahead of the guys you’d had before.

Well, maybe not miles. More like inches.

When he bottomed out, Eli let out a groan, holding still while he let your cunt get used to being stretched out so far.

Anticipation rose within your core. His cockhead was pushing up against your G-spot, and you were so damn aroused that you were sure you wouldn’t last long.

“Fuck, you’re soaked, sweetheart,” Eli groaned.

“I told you not to call me that —”

“I’ll call you whatever the fuck I want, sweetheart . Now… you might wanna hold onto something. I’m not the type of man to hold back.”

“I’m sure you’re n— ahh!” You cried out in surprise when he started pistoning his hips into you with every ounce of frustration you’d been causing him since the day he’d met you. You grabbed onto the edge of the desk in front of you, and you heard Eli chuckle behind you.

His moans were nothing short of sinful. His fingers dug into your hips, holding you still against the desk, which was shaking violently underneath you. Pens rattled in their pots, papers fell to the ground, and the ever-shrinking sane part of your brain wondered if the computer might fall and break.

The vast majority of your brain, though, was absolutely cockdrunk. You opened your mouth to speak, but all that came out was bumbling nonsense followed by a squeal when Eli squeezed your ass cheeks with his stupid large hands.

“You’ve needed this, haven’t you, sweetheart? A good fucking to put you in your place. Such a tight, warm hole… oh, I’m gonna enjoy breaking you down.”

His cock was filling you completely, every nerve ending on fire as he dragged his flesh against yours, and every time he hit your G-spot, you felt a little part of your sanity slipping away. The Dean could walk through the door right now and you wouldn’t even care, you just wanted more, more pleasure, more danger, more of Eli’s stupid massive cock.

“Beautiful little ass,” Eli was grunting, “just calling out to be fucked. Maybe next time, huh? I’ll take your ass, your mouth - fucking mark you all over.”

“Guhhh,” you replied eloquently. “Eli, I’m - I’m gonna - fuck —“

He slowed his motions, and you could have cried.

“You think I’m gonna let you cum so easily, little slut? I want an apology first.”

You blinked, your addled brain trying to remember what you could possibly need to apologise for.

“For being such - a - tease,” Eli said through gritted teeth, punctuating each word with a thrust. “Those fucking - ah - skirts… just begging for me to slip inside…”

”I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you lied.

“Don’t lie to me, Dr [L/n]. It’s not a good look on you. You and your short skirts and low-cut tops… barging in here and practically begging me to fuck you over this desk —“

“Fuck off, you came on to me!” you argued. “I seen the way you look at me - eyes wandering - like I’m a tasty meal. Then kissing me to shut me up in an argument, that’s real fucking mature —“

Eli leant over you, his body pressing yours into the desk, and you felt his breath tickling your ear. “I think you’ll find you kissed me, sweetheart.”

“Bullshit,” you spat back.

“Well, then…”

Eli began slowly moving his hips back, his cock dragging tauntingly against your walls, and you thought he was going to slam back into you, but he kept going, his head getting closer and closer to slipping out —

“No, wait!” you cried out pathetically. “Please, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I teased you… I won’t do it again, I swear…”

He paused, and it felt like a lifetime.

“You gonna behave now?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

Eli groaned, and by the way his cock twitched inside you, he must have been very pleased.

“Oh, sweetheart… you’re in for it now.”

He was back at it again with the furious pace, the desk’s respite from your violent treatment of it at an end, and Eli’s stupid cock was angled in just the right way to push up against your sweet spot, and soon enough you were on the precipice of ecstasy.

“Eli… Eli, please, I’m so close…”

“Cum for me, sweetheart, cum around my cock!”

“E - Eli… fuck… ELI!”

Your walls tightened around him, and he groaned deeply, his own peak pulsing as he cried out, breath hot on your ear, his grip on you so tight you were sure he’d leave bruises, and you hoped so too.

He stayed buried inside you for a few moments, both of you breathing heavily as you caught your breath. You half-expected the post-orgasm shame to creep in - you had, after all, just fucked a colleague on his desk during working hours - but you felt nothing of the sort. If anything, you felt like several weeks’ worth of tension had just been washed away.

Eli stood up straight and pulled out of you, then handed you a box of tissues to clean yourself up with.

“As much as I’d love to watch you dripping all over my desk, this is expensive wood,” he said, and although he tried to sound blasé, you could hear from his voice that he too had just released a lot of tension.

You wiped yourself down as best you could, although when you fished your panties from the floor and pulled them back up, you could feel you were in desperate need of a shower. Eli, meanwhile, was sat on the chair, pants buckled back up, and was watching you with a seedy grin.

“We’ll have to do that again sometime,” he said, making no effort to hide the fact he was ogling you. “See if we can’t make a mess of your desk instead.”

You looked at him, slouching in his chair, watching you greedily. You wondered how short a skirt you could wear to taunt him with before the Dean intervened.

Among the chaos of his desk, you found a sticky pad and a pen.

“Let’s keep this off the work emails,” you explained as you wrote down your cell phone number.

“You’re giving me a method of summoning your tight little cunt to my office whenever I like? That’s dangerous, Dr [L/n] — for you, that is.”

“If you’re gonna bend me over your desk, you might as well call me [Y/n].”

He grinned up at you, that hungry sparkle still in his eye.

“Well, then, [Y/n]… bright and early Monday morning?”

You winked at him and sauntered out, knowing full well his eyes were on your ass the whole time, and also knowing full well that you wouldn’t be able to wait until Monday. You’d be touching yourself all weekend to the memory of Eli’s cock, and you wondered if he’d be doing the same to thoughts of you.

Of course he would.

[rockinrolli]

wow i haven’t posted on here in forever! but really needed a space to just rant for a sec. please forgive the fact this is all rambles and probably won’t make much sense.

i’m sure everyone is feeling a bit like this right now but the tiktok ban has been really messing with me; and it’s only been a few hours. there was so much back n forth on the app of if it would be banned or not. i felt so obligated to spend the entirety of my day today doom scrolling to consume as much content as i could; but just felt more dread from all the goodbyes. once it was banned i had called my friends and they didn’t seem to care much since they were more into insta reels/ didn’t have the app anymore and i guess it just made me feel isolated and embarrassed to admit that i was really sad about the ban.

i had a very early viral video when tiktok had just became tiktok from musically and it changed so much for my life. now i was not an influencer, and i wasn’t even in the video i had posted; but it gave me a platform to talk to others and find a community. there were so many creators that i learned so much from; at times i feel i learned more on that app than i did during my time in college due to 3 years of my college life being during the covid 19 lockdown. i was able to connect with other parts of the world and get exposure to so much that i feel has helped mold me during my young adult life now.

seeing the app still there on my phone but knowing i’m unable to use it is a very weird feeling. i know it’s an app and there’s more to life, i shouldn’t be so attached and there’s other social media and ways to connect but i have this nostalgic appreciation for everything i got from tiktok.

on a deeper level, i suppose it’s more than just the app tiktok itself; it’s a fear of what this means for the future of my country. knowing it comes down to control, money, censorship, etc. and feelings that my anger is being subdued by others around me by “it’s just an app” causes myself more frustration.

i moved away from my home state a month after i graduated college and was the only one of my friends to do so. i moved across the country by myself because i wanted to get out of my bubble. i wanted to learn more. in that i have been very isolated and alone and struggle talking to my friends back in my home state because its not something they have experienced. tiktok for me was a way to feel i had community. and being told by my friends it’s not a big deal has made me tear up after our calls because again; there’s just this huge sense of isolation i have not having someone to relate to and the place i felt i could find that is now on a ban. i don’t know if it will be temporary or forever but im either way going to try and find a way to ground myself in the mean time.

normally this is the kind of thing i’d just scribble into a journal privately but i thought i’d post it here in the off chance someone can relate and maybe it can make someone else feel a little less disconnected right now. again i didn’t go back to check spelling or grammar so don’t clown me plz. this isn’t meant to be prolific or a hot opinion take; im just sad and trying right now.

[creepedverse]

Give us Arthur info dump

Personal Journal (tw for animal death!)

Entry 003, XX/XX/2008

Haaaaaah. Farnbury… What a place! I expected to be shell shocked when I got here, honestly! But, underneath the starry sky… I feel at home. I guess I’m home when I’m in the trees, no matter which direction I find myself! ^^ But, there are some differences compared to New York. For starters, it’s not as cold! I love the cold weather, so I never complained at home, but now in February, I feel overdressed! I also… I made friends!! Two of them!! Can you believe it!? Of course I can believe it, me! They’re both so… just wow!

I was just setting up my camp for the night when I met him! My first ever friend!! (Better late than never!) He seemed startled to see me out there, but I think he relaxed once he realized I wasn’t like a bear or something! (Even though being a bear would be super cool!) He was very quiet, and I started to fill the space by talking! I… I usually find it hard to start conversations, but talking to him came so easy! He just listened, and that was nice. I guess that’s what friends do! Anyways, that’s how we first met! Ever since then, I’ve been running into him here and there! He actually works at the diner I go to for breakfast! He’s probably used to my order by now, since I always get the same thing! (Pancakes, short stack, and coffee) His name is Tommie! And I think that name suits him marvelously! He is very much a Tommie! ^^

I made my second friend just recently! Here I am, braving the wilderness in hopes of solving the mystery surrounding the farnbury entity, but… well… this is taking longer than I thought it would! When I found that cursed picture online, it only took me two weeks to contain the entity! Bam! Done! No more silly dog! But… this entity seems… different. It’s… stronger than most. I have some theories about it, but I’ll detail them in my proper investigation journal. Anyways! Where was I? Right! It’s taking a long time to get to the bottom of this thing! So, I soon found myself almost out of money. And so, that means I needed a job! The only problem is that… well… no one wants to hire a guy living out of a tent! Except for one person! Bonnibel… Bonnie! My beautiful Bonnie! She saved me from total, utter despair!! Heh… okay that’s dramatic! But! She hired me to work at her antique shop! And I’m so proud to say we get along swimmingly! She’s so gentle and kind and doesn’t yell at me if I miscalculate change! Actually, now that I think about it… this is my first proper job! Huh! How epic!!!

Bonnie has a truly beautiful ability. She can see ghosts! What are the odds of her befriending me!? She’s surrounded by the paranormal, and I hope she’ll let me help if anything troublesome bothers her. I have a whole section in my notes dedicated to banishing spirits! I hope she can rely on me… She actually… She told me a ghost follows me. A small hare… hopping wherever I go. I… um…

Well I guess if I’m telling this journal everything, I’ll tell it everything. When I first encountered the farnbury entity, I lost control of myself for a second. The entity seemed to try and get in my head. It completely mixed my thoughts around, I couldn’t make out up or down, left or right. I started freaking out, in the woods, all alone. My tics started going haywire! I couldn’t control my body anymore and I just… spazzed. (I guess my high school peers were spot on with that nickname.) I ended up falling down a steeper-than-average hill. I must’ve hit my head because when I woke up, it was daylight. I was fine again. However… on my way down the hill, I… crushed… a rabbit. I felt so awful! The poor little thing! I started to panic! Luckily, my brother had taught me well, and I managed to calm my breathing (and my tears!) and took care of the rabbit by giving it a small burial. I didn’t really have any tools on hand, so I used what I could to make a little grave. I must’ve looked like I was going to faint when Bonnie told me she saw a hare with me! But, how I’ll choose to interpret it is that the rabbit is looking after me. After all, I think he knows it was an accident (I hope he knows!) Maybe he’s hopping around after me to keep me out of trouble! I’ll choose to look on the bright side!

In all my years, I’ve endured countless jabs and bullying and that one fight before I left high school. I can’t help but admit that I was losing hope I’d ever make actual friends… But… Here in Farnbury, things are different. I made friends. I have friends. And I will do anything to protect them, and any other future friends I might make. I will figure this entity out, nullify it, and invite Tommie and Bonnie to travel the whole country with me when I’m done!!!

[fraterfalls]

Hi, I'm new to Blood Brothers AU and I was curious about it. Can you explain about it or show me where I can see the best explanation about it?

ohhh, dear asker, the rabbit hole i'm about to send you down... >:)

alright let me try and explain it in the most coherent way possible, it's late at night BUT i will try my best!!!

explanation under the cut!

(in general, if you're new to the bb au like this asker and trying to find your way around this overwhelming hell of an au i've concocted, i recommend you start here :D)

wow. i tried SO HARD to make this a semi-concise explanation and YET it somehow turned into a mini-fic in itself towards the end there. sighhh... (lol even still, have fun reading!)

first thing's first i need to tell you aboutttt

The Parallel World / "Better World".

in journal 3, ford mentions visiting a parallel dimension in which stan never pushed him into the portal, and instead took his journal and hid it as ford had requested.

^ some screenshots to give you the basic gist of what's going on in that dimension, everything you need to know for the time being. you can read more about it on internet archive if you like

at some point in august i reread this part of journal 3 and became obsessed with the idea of a parallel dimension. i also noticed that apart from mentioning how he never pushed ford into the portal and took the journal in this world, parallel stan is just... not really brought up. at all. ...which opens up some interesting possibilities.

as you can probably guess, this dimension features in the blood brothers au! in my interpretation, the reason stan was never mentioned is because after leaving with ford's journal, he never came back, just seemingly disappeared off the planet. parallel ford... has not been handling this well (and a certain bastard triangle only serves to play up his worst fears!), and because he has such a large student body to attend to and take care of and protect, he represses his issues, buries them under layers and layers of work and responsibilities. nobody even knows he has a brother...

not even his nephew and niece, dipper and mabel. however, they're observant as all hell. as secretive as ford is, they see past his little white lies, they see how he doesn't eat properly and falls asleep at his desk and laughs nervously when someone asks if he's alright. (i haven't talked much about the role they play in this au on tumblr, but rest assured i'll be elaborating more on it in my upcoming fic that may come out sometime within... um... the next few months to the next few decades. they're still the same old mystery twins we know and love, except now they've set their sights on figuring out what their grunkle ford is hiding. very Not What He Seems reminiscent)

alright, now that i've mostly covered the parallel world, time to move on to:

The Portal Stan AU

while i was obsessing over the Better World, a parallel dimension/"alternate universe" which already exists in canon, i started thinking about another AU which is fairly popular in the gravity falls fandom: the portal stan AU. in which stan, rather than ford, gets sent into the portal. thought it was a fantastic concept ever since i first saw it, because it opens so many doors for interesting characterization and also some good ol' angst (and later a healing arc, of course). portal stan has, after all, spent 40 or so years without a solid family base or anyone to care for him. and i can imagine that in those 30 years he spent dimension-hopping, his only thought was to return to his home dimension and see ford again. yes, he was furious and frustrated when they had that last argument, but surely in hindsight he saw how paranoid and jittery ford had been throughout their meeting. he would want to get back and make sure his brother was safe as soon as possible.

and then i had the thought which kicked off this entire au:

what if portal stan fucked up and somehow stumbled upon the parallel dimension while searching for a way home? what if portal stan and parallel ford... MET?

portal stan sees parallel ford and his situation and comes to the conclusion that, without him in the way, ford would flourish. parallel ford sees portal stan and comes to the conclusion that no matter the universe, he somehow manages to destroy stan's life just by being in it. even just knowing that the other exists exacerbates their own insecurities. IT'S SO AWFUL AND SO PERFECT.

also, portal stan couldn't be more desperate to get out of the parallel dimension- partly because he hates the reminder that ford would be better off without him, but mostly because he wants to see his real brother again. however, parallel ford has other plans for him. he's been in denial about the true fate of his own brother for a long time now, but he sees this version of stan and decides he can't afford to let go of him. (his own mental state is too fragile to accept the idea of losing stan again, even if this isn't his own stan. he already let go of him once after the WCT fiasco, and again after the journal incident. thrice is... thrice is too much.)

you may also be thinking "hey, smart guy, i actually DID read that screenshot you posted above while explaining the parallel dimension. it said parallel ford and fiddleford constructed a little something called a Vortex Neutralizer which allows for safe, bill-free multiversal travel. couldn't portal stan just use that to get out of there?"

yeaaah, parallel ford doesn't tell him about that!

he will do almost anything to keep stan with him. he is sinking his claws into that man begging him not to leave-

and stan hates him for it. tears into him with insult after insult. he can't stand this ford, why's he acting like he doesn't have everything he could ever want? (except, of course, he doesn't really hate him. after all, this is still stanford pines, maybe not his ford but he's certainly a ford. same old easily excitable nerd he used to tease back in high school. but stan still has his own ford to attend to, one who needs him more than anything... probably... hopefully, so he shuts out the part of him which is growing fond of parallel ford. tells himself not to think too much about this one. he hardly even knows him. he shouldn't have to bother.)

-

and yeah that's. i think that's enough information to take in in a single post. there's still plenty more going on with the au that i haven't touched on here, but hey that's just the premise! i would link you to more specific posts which will help you further acquaint yourself with the au, but it's. it's 2am and i am incredibly sleepy, so instead i will simply provide you with the link to the blog archive, where you can look at all the posts on here without having to scroll endlessly trying to find specific things. enjoy!!!

if you have any more questions DON'T BE AFRAID TO COME BOTHER ME ABOUT IT !!! i loved answering this ask... <3 been meaning to rewrite a better AU Premise Post than the one i made back in august anyway lol

[arthurflecksgirl]

Christmas imagines with Arthur Advent calender - Christmas shopping and sweet secrets

Arthur scribbled into his journal while your head was resting on his shoulder. He often carried his diary with him. Secretly hidden underneath his hoodie, in case some jokes would come to his mind. He always wanted to be prepared to note them down. If he didn't, he would forget the until he was able to find pen and paper. Which would be a shame. He seemed to be do lost in his thought process, not even the noisy bus ride could distract him from it.

"Next stop Gotham square"

You hated to interrupt him.

"Hey sweety, we arrived at our destination"

Arthur apruptly came back from where ever he was. Almost as if you woke him from a trance.

"What, really? I was just having a flow..."

"I know I'm sorry... Or should we just keep driving until you're finished and walk?"

Arthur got up his seat "No, no. It's okay. At least I saved some real good ones for the open mic night next week!" He put hurried up to put his journal back underneath his hoodie and grabbed your hand as you got off the bus to walk across the street and enter the huge store which just opened a few months ago. None of you have visited it yet and you were excited to see it the first time during this special time of the year when everything was shiney and jolly.

A few days has passed since your Christmas shopping with Arthur had been cancelled because he was having a rough day. But now he felt fresh and ready for the day" as he once wrote in his journal.

He was wondering how much presents he was able to boy with the little money you both had.

"Is everything okay, Arthur? You look a little worried?"

Arthur pulled out his wallet and counted the coins in it "I hope we have enough money to find something for Gary, too".

You gently rubbed his back as he put his wallet back into his pocket. It didn't take him long to count it.

"I haven't told you but I sold some of my old comics and now we should have enough money to buy something for Gary and ourselfes."

Arthur didn't seem too happy about what you just told him "You sold your stuff? Honey, no. Why would you do that? Now I'm feeling guilty".

"Nooo, please don't. The comics didn't mean anything to me. Going to this store with you and put a smile on Gary's face is so much more important. But when I find something for you, you gotta turn around and look away until I bought it. I need it to be a surprise. "

"Okay" Arthur nodded, fighting the urge to go back outside to have a smoke. "You really don't have to buy something for me though. Your love is the greatest gift of all! And.... I've crafted you something already. I hope you will like it..."

You carefully cupped his face into your hands "I am going to love it, Arthur. Because there is a piece of your heart in everything that you create! Now Cmon, let's find the perfect gift for Gary!"

The both of you kept looking through the store for quite some time. Checking your watch reminded you of how fleeting time was.

"Wow, we've been here for over two hours now"

"Really? I didn't even notice it was that long"

"Me neighter."

"I guess time flies when, you're having fun" he smiled and jumped onto the escalators to dance all the way down on them. For a moment you were worried he would trip and fall but he did it so gracefully he even bowed at the end.

"This is not the place to dance on you freak" a man yelled behind the cashier, while a little girl was clapping.

You used the escalator the traditional way to go down,placing a sloppy kiss on Arthurs mouth "Silly boy" you laughed and continued to check out all the goods that were on sale.

"Oh my god. Look. I think I found the perfect gift for Gary!" Arthur stopped at the toys section and help up a "How to make balloon animals starter set".

"Doesn't he already know how to do this?"

Arthur inspected the package "Nah, he asked me if I could teach him some weeks ago. Baloon animals were never part of his show and he always wanted to learn. I could gift him this set and then go visit him to give him lessons, don't you think so? It would be a nice reason to meet up more often. "

"This is a wonderful idea Arthur. I bet Gary will appreciate the thought you put into it. How much is it?"

"18 dollars...because it comes with a book"

"How much do you need?"

Arthur felt bad about telling you that he only had 10 dollars in his wallet. Even though you shared anything he felt slightly embarrassed about it.

"Here take this. It should be enough". You handed him a few dollar notes. "I will wait right here".

"Thank you!" he muttered as he made his way to the cashier.

Arthur was already standing in line as you sneaked back to the baby clothes section. You knew that if Arthur would see the big smile on your face he would sense something. Knowing you didn't have much time until we would be back you picked the first cute new born socks that caught your eye. There was a little clown on them. This must be a sign from the universe. Arthur will be so happy once you told him that by the next year there will be three of you.

With the socks in your hands and a heart full of love you payed at the other side of the room so Arthur had no chance to see what you bought.

Just a minute after you put the tiney socks in your pocket he tapped on your shoulder "Hey, I was looking for you."

"Oh yeah?"

Arthur pointed at your face "Whats with the smirk?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Arthur".

His smile got wider and wider "Ahhh I get it. You just bought me a surprise."

You kissed Arthurs mouth in silence as you took his hand and walked out of the store. You knew that he was destined to be the most wonderful daddy in the world.

Oh, what a surprise it will be!

[punsmaster69]

15/MAR/20XX

it's silent in the house.

sliding my slippers lightly along the floorboards to avoid breaking the silence, i peek into the living room.

on the couch is toriel, who seems to be deep in memory of something. judging by that look, it isn't a great memory.

𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘤𝘬, 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘤𝘬.

she snaps out of it when she hears my knuckles tap against the doorframe exactly twice; the perfect amount for a good opener. it's a pattern very familiar to the both of us.

"...Who's there?"

"figs."

"Figs who?"

"𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘴 your phone - been missin' you all morning."

"Have you been trying to reach me? I do apologize. I am..."

her smile flickers as she lightly sighs.

"Perhaps a bit out of it."

"i feel you. get days like this too."

"everyone does, to some extent."

"Please, come in. Assuming you are not busy, that is."

"hm. lemme see."

i unfolded a small notebook -

yeah, another book. not this one. i'm not gonna jot all my joke ideas in this journal, obviously. that'd like be giving it all away for free.

-and clicked a pen (yes, this one) with a focused look on my face.

"well, i've got a lot of nothing scheduled for eleven, a sizeable amount of zilch at one, followed by an hour of lollygagging..."

"What a full day!"

"...buuuut. i guess i can reschedule, just for you."

"Do you think you could squeeze in a bit of chitchatting over pie?"

"and ruin my strict schedule even further?"

"Mhm."

"i'd love to."

——

when i told tori about the no-alcohol thing, she seemed surprisingly unphased at it.

"not shocked, huh? someone tell you already?"

"This is the first I am hearing of it."

"i knew there wasn't one in the main gc, but wow. they didn't make an announcement in any group chats that're 𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘴 me either?"

"color me surprised."

"What color?"

"blue, 'cuz that really 𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘸 me away."

i can't help it if my grin cracks a little wider when she laughs.

"Why 𝗮𝗿𝗲 you so shocked, though?"

"usually updates on my health stuff end up messaged around within minutes."

"how come 𝘺𝘰𝘶 aren't more surprised about it?"

"Out of all the times over the years I have seen you drunk - and subsequently, hungover - the recent have seemed to affect you much more negatively."

"saw it coming?"

"I suppose so."

toriel removed her phone from her pocket to check for any messages.

"..Ah. I suppose I haven't checked properly in a moment."

"It seems they did try to inform me, after all."

"device slipped your mind? or, maybe your pocket?"

"..An awful lot of things have slipped my mind. It happens sometimes when even I, myself, begin to fall down that slippery slope that is remembering the past."

"sounds like a slippery situation."

"Sorry for letting so much 𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗽 suddenly. This old lady needs to learn how to keep her s𝗹𝗶𝗽𝘀 shut a tad better."

"i mind if you 𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗽k𝗻𝗼𝘁 - your company's what i'm here for."

"..and free food, sometimes."

"I only worry that I may over𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗽 some boundaries at times."

"nope. won't be having any 𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗽outs from me about it. share all you want."

"You seeing me like this was a bit of a 𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗽up to begin with."

"you've seen me at the worst of my 𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗽sloppiest. really, i don't mind this even a bit."

"Pffft. These 𝙟𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙨 are slipping in quality now."

"no way, this is 𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗽top of the line."

she snorts a bit.

"It is reaching nonsense levels."

"you're smiling."

"That I am."

"Perhaps this is just what I needed."

"didn't get a lotta emotional baggage unpacked, but i'm fine to leave everything in the suitcases for a while if you wanna."

"This is a much better mood than that would be, anyway."

"....."

"well."

"i'm glad that pun nightmare is 𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗽over."

she's barely able to say

"Sans!"

through laughter.

i really

[helixobesity]

🌀 Ring 🌀

• Guess I should put this old journal I got to good use this year! Maybe just day to day worries or fun stuff that happened!

Oh! Speaking of fun for a first entry, I got a letter in the mail and it was my great aunt! Said she was clearing out her attic and found this gorgeous ring, and she sent it over to me! It fits absolutely perfectly, I can’t wait to go out to dinner with it tonight!

• Why does everyone keep saying I look… bigger?

I mean, I’ve just been wearing this new ring, and it’s a little tight sure

And I feel fine

People keep saying I look… fuller?

Is that a compliment? It must be, right!

Right?

• Ok so it’s been a couple days and

I maybe sorta see what people mean…

It’s only been a week and I’ve put on like 10 pounds!

I have no clue how I’ve been eating like normal I swear!

Maybe I should go on that diet I keep talking about doing… it’s still the new year after all

• Wow ok uh, summertime really snuck up on me this year but uh… guess my partner, I mean, ex-partner, wasn’t too happy that I’ve gained, like, nearly 50 pounds this year. I uh, got so winded when we were.. trying stuff together, he said it was a “turn off”… but honestly it just made me more excited. I’ve been getting like that a lot recently, maybe with how my thighs are touching all the time, and the fact I’ve gone up 5 pant sizes has been driving me… what am I saying??

Anyway, His loss though! I’ve been doing everything right! I’ve been dieting, working out, taking the stairs at work, I just… I keep putting on more weight? God this is really hurting my head. When’s my takeout coming?

• Heyyyy diary! Back again, and uhh, I think I’ve gotten kinda.. fat. Oooh feels weird to admit that, everyone keeps saying I’m fat at work! Well, they did before they “fired” me after I ate out the refrigerator, again. And, like, I’ve definitely put on weight. A lot a lot of weight.. idk what’s bigger than 100? That much! But I promise I’m doing everything these stupid diet plans say to do, and my belly just keeps getting bigger and bigger and…

Wow I’m getting super hungry again...

• Diary! I always forget to write in this stupid thing, but my new partner found it while cleaning to go live at their place, and I’m so excited with all the holidays coming! I’m, like, way too big to live on my own now, moving is so hardddd, I’m a big pig! 550 pounds is.. big right? Or.. is it… god I’m starving again, hope my darling gets back soon from getting food. Hang on, did this ring always used to be so shiny… it’s pretty.. and really, like, pink!

• My partner feeds me lots!! I’m soooo happie! They say I’m their, like, good piggy! And it’s soooo hott! I wannas be fatter… way way fatter, I’m so hungry, partner is feeding me as I write this! They even got me a new ring to go with my old one!! And I… I… did I always used to think about food so much? I… wasn’t this fat a year ago. What happened? I… oh god did the ring… Make… me…

Hehe~

What’em I saying? I love food! I wanna be soooo so much fatter, it’s not enough. I gots to be fatter

I gotta eat

I need to be fatter…

So… much fatter…

🌀💿🌀💿🌀💿🌀💿🌀💿🌀💿🌀💿🌀

[pink-chevalier]

Journal Entry: Spring 08

Wow, it's been a while since I last wrote anything. I'm sorry about that. I got a bit distracted with some other things, so I didn't have the chance to update you. Damn, I can't believe I just apologized to a book, but whatever. I don't know where to really start or what to even write because a lot happened, but I guess I can explain why you're heavily decorated. After school today, Ophelia and I went to the stationery store to buy some crafting stuff. She wanted to write in her diary again, but she also forgot about it because shit happens. At the time, I thought it was a good idea, but I forgot that I'm not that creative when it comes to doing things like this. So, this is why you're somewhat heavily decorated; Ophelia picked the theme of spring, and I just went with it since I had nothing else planned for you. 

Ophelia and I are in the same school now since her school burned down. Maple Hills was an all-boys school, but apparently they were planning on becoming co-ed, and her school burning down is what gave them the push. I think they only did it because they needed money or something. I don't think anyone saw that coming, but I'm glad it did because I kinda like having Ophelia around. Nothing fun or interesting happened today. I found out that Sammy and Kameron didn't make anything official with Jaxi and Scarlett. I'm not surprised, since Sammy gets nervous and is convinced that Jaxi's too good for him, while Kameron believes that Scarlett doesn't want him. 

I don't really know what's going on with them, but I hope they figure it out, since the girls are also in school with us. 

Writing all this down made me realized that my whole friend group is dating. Dating isn't something that I really thought about… I don't think I'll make a good boyfriend. Who would even want to date me? I'm not that fun, and I'm average-looking. A snail has more of a personality than I do, and that's really saying a lot coming from me. 

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