#wow. I really said ''there's a whole analysis I could write'' and then proceeded to immediately write the whole analysis alskjdfk

[brown-little-robin]

hey can I just scream incoherently for a minute. yeah it's. it's jojo again

HELLO?? I don't really have anything to add to this moment, just. JOTARO. HONEY. he STOPS HIS OWN HEART to lure DIO in closer.

and he thinks if I black out, I really will die. it won't even be funny...

something something Jotaro is trying to save his mother's life. something something he's expected to kill for her, and to kill for her, he has to go through things that could kill him, and he's expected to survive them and stay conscious and more than that, stay funny about it. he stops his own heart and tries his best not to black out. he kills Star Platinum's predilection to be playful!! as soon as he realizes Star is an extension of himself, we instantly never see Star do anything just nice and positive for Jotaro again! THAT IS SELF-HARM. THAT IS SELF-HARM. sobbing. he represses all his childlike play behaviors on the trip to Egypt and he only lets them out in the context of Hurting People, which is all he thinks he's good for.

there's a whole analysis I could write about Jotaro's sense of humor and the Crusaders' sense of humor and how it culminates in this, but basically, Jotaro's sense of humor is very dry and power-based. things are funny to him when he's winning and feels morally justified, and they're not funny when he's losing. this fits with the overall status of JJBA part 3: humor is linked to victory and to the concept of "rightness". when things are right with the universe, when revenge has been or is about to be dished out, that's when our main characters dish out servings of wit.

and Jotaro treats giving a sarcastic one-liner as something he knows he's supposed to do. he is arguably genre-aware ("oh? who's going to replace Jotaro Kujo as protagonist, then?"), and he's also aware that he isn't very good at being funny. ("I'm not very good at one-liners, so I'm just gonna beat you up now.") he covers for this by asking other people to say things in his stead ("Avdol, say something"), by being cool instead of making A Statement (pulling his hat down and muttering yare yare), by saying things that are more threatening/literal than funny per se ("what kind of sashimi would you like to be"), and by referencing other stories (see: "I watched a lot of Columbo as a kid", "if this were a Western I'd say, Draw. let's see who's the fastest gun in the West." But anyway, the point is, Jotaro treats being funny like a chore, like a responsibility, like it's his job to dispense grievous bodily harm AND laughs. together. as facets of the same thing: justice.

which makes sense from a Japanese high-school boy, especially given that he seems to have assumed the persona of a delinquent, where face and coming off as strong is paramount to your social survival / sense of self.

and if Jotaro dies here!!! it won't be funny!!!!

[mirandalinotto]

Why I hate the CAOS video essay that came out a week ago

Did anyone else get extremely angry at the way Friendly Space Ninja discussed all of the female characters in CAOS? like, don't get me wrong... I understand most of the points he's making, and agree with a lot of what he says in the video essay (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina: A Frustrating Waste of Potential), but when he speaks about Zelda, Lilith, Prudence, and Rosalind, I don't know... i just get a bad vibe. It's like he's doing a "bad faith” analysis, and it bothers me, because CAOS has so many parts to validly criticize, and yet he missed the mark more often than he hit it, in my humble opinion.

He basically says the same thing over and over again: that the actors were good, but the characters were bad, because they were all boring, shallow, and one-note, or whatever... and it's like... dude? of all the things you could say (especially about Zelda and Lilith in particular), the characters being “boring" isn't really the biggest criticism one ought to have of this show...?!? and it isn't even accurate?

Like why aren't you criticizing the trauma porn? Why aren't you criticizing the butchering of Lilith's mythology? Why are you ignoring all of the character development that does happen (particularly with regard to Zelda, whom he actively seems to hate) in favor of insisting none of these characters have an arc? It’s not beneficial to anyone if you’re going to criticize a show’s characters by actively misrepresenting them!

Which brings me to my next point: one of the things that bothered me the most was just how surface-level his analysis was. You could tell he hadn’t watched the show in a while, and clearly wasn’t interested in celebrating any part of it—which is okay, if you just want to roast Roberto for an hour, be my guest—but why does it feel like this video essay was the YouTube video equivalent of writing a book report on a novel you only skimmed…? He made a lot of generalizations that made it seem like he only watched the first season, and then paid no attention to the rest.

For example, some of his arguments are just so random and insignificant? Like why does he make shallow observations the basis of whole arguments about characters, such as when he goes on about how Zelda says 'Praise Satan' too much and “it got old"...?!?! Like what kind of bullshit analysis is that...? How is that even close to being something worthy of talking about in a video essay that is an hour and twenty minutes long...? Why are you taking such a trivial aspect of her character and making it a talking point in a video that is already much longer than it needs to be?

And while I agree with what he said about Lilith's motivations being inconsistent/unclear at times, and that Zelda's character growth wasn't as linear or developed as it could be, it really feels like he didn't even try to understand these characters at all. I realize I'm biased, because all I do is try to understand them and explain their motivations... but still! If you're making a video about the wasted potential of CAOS, why do you immediately dismiss almost the entire female cast, pretty much out of hand, when they're the foundation of the show...? They ARE the potential?! The good parts about them ought to have been given some credit? Like why does he fail to acknowledge all of the trauma these female characters went through that very much informs their decisions, and instead makes it sound like nothing the characters do make sense? While I might not always agree with every choice these characters made, there usually is something driving them to do whatever it is they’re doing, and particularly in the case of Lilith and Zelda, it’s not that hard to understand why they make irrational decisions sometimes, when they’re literally surrounded by abusers and everything is constantly blowing up in their faces.

Also, something smaller that really pisses me off is that he includes Zelda sending Blackwood out of the room during the birth of the twins as an example of the show's misandry and "bad feminism," but that's literally not what that moment is about? If he stopped to think about it for a moment, the moment is perfectly logical. Zelda is a midwife, who was most likely trained in the 1800s, when men literally weren't meant to be around when the the birth happened, so how is she being a misandrist just by doing what she’s been taught, especially when they’re all in a crisis situation? Men not being allowed in the room is an established part of the history of women’s health/childbirth, and it isn’t exactly obscure knowledge! Men used to be forced/asked to sit in the waiting room during labor, and before that, when home births were the status quo, midwives definitely wouldn’t allow men in the room as a matter of course. In fact, it wasn't until the 1970s that men being in the delivery room became a more normalized practice. So, men being present/witnessing a birth is a far more "modern" thing than I think people realize, and the exclusion of them from the delivery room has absolutely NOTHING to do with women hating men...? like fuck off with that “misandry” argument, in this instance. do some research before you start reaching that far, so as to act like Zelda was being hateful for simply following “industry standards,” if you want to call it that. There are medical articles that still come out to this very day that argue that no one should be in the delivery room besides the person giving birth and the doctors and nurses, because the husband/partner often gets in the way and distracts the medical team at critical moments. (Also men tend to faint or get sick at the sight of the birth, which then forces the team to split their focus in order to see to the unconscious man on the floor.)

And don't get me started on the anti-Zelda rant he goes on towards the end!! While I agree very much that Zelda is a flawed character, he uses an example of her degrading Hilda that isn't even something she actually did?! It's from a dream sequence!?!?!? like dude, did you even watch these episodes/scenes before you talked about them?!? He uses the example of dream-Zelda criticizing Hilda's appearance as a reason why Zelda is such a bitch, and I'm like... seriously? that literally wasn't her? just because Zelda said it in Hilda's nightmare, doesn't mean Zelda said it in real life, and should be criticized for it...?!

But yes, Zelda is abusive to her sister, and classist, and rude, and many of the things that he says--but when he tries to argue that because she's a woman, nobody cares that she's like that, and it’s a problem, because that’s evidence of more misandry… that’s where he loses me. He sees it as yet another issue with Roberto's writing—that he gives qualities that would be condemned in a male character to a female character, and allows that woman to be one of the "good guys" ...but yet again, dude... you're completely missing the point?!? Women are allowed to be flawed, without you seeing it as some gross failure of feminism?

He also at one point claims that Zelda resents Ambrose, and hates having him around, when I would argue Zelda actually really values Ambrose and has a close relationship to him...? Like did we even watch the same show?

I didn't expect to get this heated about a video essay that made a lot of other points that I agreed with (mainly the dragging of Roberto parts). But in my opinion, this guy got really offended by Roberto's fake feminism (which is valid), but then proceeded to tear down all of the female characters for an hour and twenty minutes straight...?! All he did was talk about how they're all misandrists and shallow characters and therefore the show isn't worth watching? like okay... but here's the thing... plenty of women have made it through shows that have misogyny at their very core, and have still managed to find the good points...? Game of Thrones is like the most popular show of all time, even though there's misogyny in every aspect of it, for historical “realism" purposes (*rolls eyes*). Zelda and Lilith's defining qualities aren't solely related to hating men, so it really pisses me off that he made it seem like that's all that shapes them, and that every time they insult or manipulate a man, it’s completely unjustified.

idk. I feel like I just watched an 83-minute roast on a show I love despite it's flaws, and that roast wasn’t mostly focused on all of the biggest flaws that I would’ve brought up, but rather on how all of the female characters are terrible and their misandry makes the show unwatchable.

So let me get this straight: you're hating on the female characters... in order to show how much of a feminist YOU are, as opposed to Roberto...?

Wow. Much feminism. Very enlightened analysis.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Let’s talk about The Twist of Good Omens (Pt. 1 of 2).

This is HALF a meta / scene analysis and praise for the actors, and HALF an Ineffable headcanon following the meta, so I hope you’ll bare with me as my brain spews out this shit that’s been going through it all week. It’s gotten really long, so I’m going to split up the meta / analysis and the headcanon into two separate posts because as I was writing this, it was getting long, and I know some people are here for either/or.

Spoilers follow, obviously.

A little known fact about me (or perhaps well known if you’ve been here for a long time) is that I LOVE the body swap / face swap trope. OBSESSED ABOUT IT. Loved it since I was a kid. I think it’s more the psychology of it that interests me (like I also consider “plopping a brain into a robot” part of this trope too, and the ensuing crisis intrigues me... a lot of my old Sonic fanfiction dealt with this type of thing). That and my innate desire to not be me, but I digress. One of my favourite movies ever is Face/Off... not a fantastic movie by any means, but damn if I didn’t obsess about it because of the psychology of it all. I LOVE watching actors pretend they’re the other actor playing their role. It’s amazing to me.

And AS someone who has consumed this trope like life since as long as I’ve consumed media, it probably took me less than a couple minutes to spot the twist ending in Good Omens. I immediately sensed something was off, mainly in their discussion in the park and  the mannerisms of the characters when they went to their respective places. 

When Aziraphale hesitated on saying “ineffable”  before death showed up, THEN Crowley’s hesitation on what Death’s appearance was, and THEN the “tickety-boo” from Crowley, is when something was niggling at me upon first watch of the scene. I wasn’t REALLY certain about my suspicions until C!Aziraphale and Gabriel were talking in the scene immediately following. Azzie was VERY subdued in Heaven, more like he was just trying to buy time or he was bored, when in the past he would... well, essentially not shut up and try to make small talk when he was confronted by the Gabriel or the other Angels. 

Instead he looked like a man who was lowkey annoyed and bored of being there, like he’s seen it all before. He didn’t question the demon bringing up the Hellfire. Just placid indifference.

It threw me for a loop, and that’s when I said, “Oh, they switched bodies, didn’t they??”. And it’s upon rewatches that I really REALLY became obsessed with this entire ending scene, because that’s when everything sort of falls into place, and you begin to see the minutiae of Sheen’s and Tennant’s acting in these scenes, and ALL the previous mannerisms from their characters are absorbed into each other’s portrayal of, well, each other. Essentially: “David, play this scene the way Michael would play this scene as if he were pretending to be you shamming the demons.” It’s amazing.

Here’s where I need to fucking praise Sheen and Tennant on their acting, because GODDAMN did they ever get each other’s mannerisms down pat, because upon subsequent rewatches, this is where I’m seeing all the clues about the twist ending that are GLARING, and I AM LIVING FOR IT.

So let’s jump back to the beginning of the scene, where they each return to their respective favourite material things: Upon returning, each character, if they were themselves, would have been OVERJOYED by their material items being back in tact. Azzie loves his books, and Crowley LOVES his car. Instead we just see... indifferent satisfaction that everything was restored? It was odd, but not alarming. You could stock it up to them being tired from the events of the day. It was still red flag one, for me.

Now, I’m not going to point this one out as “red flag two” because I can’t recall at all a time BEFORE this scene if this next thing ever happened, and perhaps someone can let me know if they recall before I get a chance to do my fourth run-through of the series: The flavours of ice cream they each end up eating; it would be a tell if they’re each eating what the other normally does. It would be a neat little clue that they each don’t realize they’re really doing that’s out of character. So... red flag 1.5 I will say until confirmation. 

The “tickety boo”, I’m going to label as a Red Flag 2: rewatching the series, we see Azzie uses the phrase when shit’s going tits up. Crowley mocked him for it, but never ever said it other than that one time. On first watch, you just write it off as Crowley picking up Azzie’s phrases, since Crowley says a lot of silly phrases, but upon second watch, you’re like, OH SHIT, wow, it’s totally Azzie, should have seen that.

Then there’s each of them in Heaven and Hell. I already talked about my tip-offs for Azzie, so let’s talk Crowley. A!Crowley was stammering on his speech, in that way that Azzie does when he’s nervous and unsure of himself and he’s trying to formulate his thoughts and understand what is happening. He was SURPRISED about Michael working with the demons, because – even though he saw Beelzebub and Gabriel interact, he had no idea how twisted in their own schemes both sides were. This is uncharacteristic behaviour for Crowley, I think anyway, because he would know that some of the Angels get away with all kinds of shit and STILL never Fall. Azzie... ahh, I love him, but I don’t think he would.

And A!Crowley STOOD like Azzie would... Crowley has this... way he sort of stands still (ie. trying to be cool but he’s really not). He wasn’t doing that at all in this scene. And the fact he was concerned about his clothes getting ruined? Yeah, when has that ever stopped Crowley? It was sort of a sweet thing that  this Lovely here pointed out and I only remembered about it when I read this post. Azzie didn’t want Crowley’s brand new coat to get ruined, aww. 

Jumping back to C!Aziraphale, still super quiet and indifferent and almost ANNOYED at the proceedings, and not once does he stammer at all. Azzie always stammers (a little more than his usual speech patterns, anyway) when facing the Angels, especially Gabriel, but this is legit the first time he doesn’t. Just smart-arse remarks and a “devil may care” (hur dur) attitude about the proceedings. 

I think I was 90% sure about my theory about the twist when the the bathtub scene that follows appears, because it didn’t really make sense to me in my head that the Holy Water WASN’T doing anything. The demons later surmise it’s because they’ve “gone native”, but are they really sure? Hmm. Anyway, this whole scene is HILARIOUS to me upon rewatch, because it’s now Azzie CERTAIN that he can’t be harmed here from the punishment even if he’s wearing Crowley’s face, and he FINALLY lets himself BE his own person. Funny how him seeing through a demon’s eyes is WHY he finally lets go (which, you know, is kind of what happened with Crowley 6000 years before... realized the world wasn’t fair and it wasn’t going to treat him with kindness). He finally understands Crowley, I think, in a way, because of this incident. 

Azzie is FINALLY certain and unafraid of being himself. He no longer stammers, and literally strikes fear into the demons in the dorkiest of ways and THEN secures Crowley’s future of being left alone. That tiny little thing there is really sweet and so Azzie. 

As for C!Aziraphale, he’s a dramatic bitch in the Hellfire to scare away the Angels. And though it’s not seen, I’m certain Crowley would have guaranteed Azzie’s safety in the same way that Azzie did his... I’m just assuming since it’s alluded to in their final park-bench conversation.

And – segue! – as we switch back to the park bench scene, I think this was when I was, on my first watch, all “yep, they switched”. Look at even just the camera pan-in: they’re sitting on the wrong sides (Crowley has ALWAYS sat to Azzie’s left-hand side), and Azzie is slouching. Azzie NEVER slouches, just as Crowley is never straight-backed and proper when he sits. I absolutely adore Tennant playing a reassuring-Azzie so beautifully, and then the uptick in the intonation of “Anyone looking?” is SO Aziraphale, that if you hadn’t picked up the clues by now, that should have set you off, as well as... why would Aziraphale know if “anyone is looking”? Crowley has ALWAYS been the one who’s able to sense other beings around, and I feel like it’s BECAUSE of his status as a demon that he can do this (as a former angel, it might be a “skill” he retained when he fell, and then gained the skill to sense other demons, so then he would be able to tell if either-or are around, whereas Azzie would only be able to sense love, happiness, and other angels, is my theory).

AHHH And then. AND THEN, Sheen’s impersonation of Tennant’s speech patterns when he says “Right. Swap back then?” and then with the face he makes. It’s ALL Crowley right there. GAWD, perfection.

I love their little interaction after the switch... Azzie is just SO DAMNED PROUD OF HIMSELF, WHAT A PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL. And Crowley is enamoured by it all. He VISIBLY sees the change in Azzie, what seeing the world through Crowley’s eyes has done to him. So much so he chances to ask Azzie out, and he FINALLY accepts, no hesitation.

AH. That’s a WHOLE other meta in-of itself.

Next, Part 2, is my head canon for the lead up to this scene. It’s more of a musing than anything else, spawned by a thought I had about why are they able to switch so easily... and how did they know that they could? It won’t be nearly as long as this so I should have it up in a few days when I have a free moment :)

Anyway, I’d love for y’all to add your own thoughts or expand upon mine here if you’ve anything to say!

Cheers everyone, and welcome new people to my blog that my other GO meta may have enticed you to here <3 We’ll see how many meta this show squeezes out of my brain, probably not nearly as much as Johnlock does, but there we are, LOL <3

[gotgifsandmusings]

GoT 7x07 Musings

My initial reaction to “The Dragon and the Wolf”

Available for $49.99 at Macy’s!

Well, I was wrong last week, and how the hell was I fooled again? I thought the fact that people were paying attention to logic over spectacle meant criticisms might last, but wow. No. Rave reviews for probably one of the most plodding, unmotivated, illogical episodes of the show. The only time I wasn’t bored to tears was when I was pissed off (Theon), or literally LOLing (Bran-bot).

Let’s dive in. Or you could read Jess’s much more coherent analysis first.

Cheryl’s Landing

This entire thing, the whole sequence showing Deadpan’s troops marching and how impressive everything was, just reminded me how little sense them negotiating for a cease-fire even means

WHAT ARE THEY WORRIED CHERYL IS GOING TO DO

do they just want her to grind her troops down too? Because they didn’t ask her to do that

is Deadpan that attached to Dragonstone?

they literally brought a wight and got one of Deadpan’s dragons killed so they could have proof, so Cheryl would just sit her pretty head on the Iron Throne and…keep on keepin’ on

D&D must be paid by the word “cock”

I really don’t want to dive into the other walk-and-talks. Of course Pod’s dick arc continued. Of course Brienne and Sandor chummed it up about Arya (actually that one worked fairly well). Of course Tyrion and Bronn…I don’t even know. D&D are not half as good at writing these scenes as they think they are.

I loved the pit being an abandoned colosseum (wtf were the Targs *doing* with their dragons) way the hell away from the city.

That’s some nice stadium seating! 

I actually thought it was dumb of Deadpan not to show up with just Drogon. That could be her mount. Pretend the other two are resting. Bringing 2 dragons would just raise questions, like it did.

Cleganebowl is coming guys. Pushing towards healing is a DUMB arc.

It was physically painful to have a scene with these two powerful-ass queens sitting while the menz patiently explained the situation.

Anyone want to venture a guess who Euron was playing this week? I think I’ve got my impression of him down at least

So. Okay. The wight acted not like a wight’s ever acted before, but whatever; props to Jonny for bringing a visual display to the quarterly review.

Here’s the thing: Cheryl and Euron already knew about the Golden Company, which meant Cheryl and Euron already knew they weren’t going to take part in whatever kumbaya truce they were angling for

This means LITERALLY EVERYTHING THAT WAS SAID IS USELESS until the Cheryl/Larry breakup

Cheryl asked Jonny not to take any sides. If he had said yes, what would she have done with the Golden Company, exactly? They’d still be coming. So it was a meaningless request of no purpose. Or did she think offering her aid would lead to that outcome, in which case…what would she have done with the Golden Company, exactly? It doesn’t sound like she was ever actually going to offer her aid (how would that have worked, by the way?), especially the way she told Larry about her deal with Euron…so why was she asking for this? Was it just so Jon could get chided about being stupid so he could then assert that his dad was kind of cool for being honorable?

You can keep playing logical loopy loop with that question, just like the Tyrion/Cheryl convo was a big loopy loop.

Cheryl touching her belly to play Tyrion was super clever in isolation, except the reveal she was playing him still leaves the question like HOW DO YOU FAKE FIGHTING THE ARMY OF THE DEAD? Also they didn’t even ask Cheryl for that. What did Tyrion *want* from her, exactly? What does anyone want? AHHHHHH

The Jonerys sexual tension was laughable. Deadpan was regarding Jon like a moron.

Wow just look at that crackling chemistry.

Could Missandei have like…done anything? She and Grey Worm didn’t even get a moment wth?

Cherry Bomb’s explosion was so unmotivated. Cheryl was making decent points, especially since after the force, with Jon and Deadpan’s alliance, they’re fucked. This was no worse than blowing up a sept and that this was the straw that broke Larry’s back was seriously moronic.

I did like the snow on Larry. Makes me wish we had gotten AFFC adapted.

Dragonstone

It’s not worth talking about the scene that existed to be like “however will boatsex happen?”

The Jon/Theon scene kind of pissed me off, though I know it worked for some people. It’s not even really Theon being a captive of Ned’s so “YOU SHOULD LOVE HIM” is an odd message. It’s that our whole fucking justification for Sansa’s rape-revenge arc, other than making her the player she needed to be (I’m going to hurl), was that it was more dramatically satisfying to have Theon rescue a real Stark and right that “great sin” of betraying them.

And remember how at the beginning of S6, it actually seemed like the Theon/Sansa relationship was…something? But then he had plot things to do and fucked off in favor if his “real” sister, because fuck thematic significance?

My point is, out of all the ‘Starks’ to forgive Theon, it was *Sansa* who specifically mattered, as horrifying and awful a decision as it was, and they just punted out anything between them so Theon could get screamed at and triggered by his blood-relative sister. And after all that shit, they NOW try and pull back in the Stark Significance and how if Jonny gives him a nod of approval, it’s all fine? No. Fuck that.

Also fuck to bloody hell the scene of Theon winning over the Ironboors by HAR HAR not feeling anything when he gets kneed in the crotch, and proceeding to punch a guy to death (or whatever)

It was Larry stopping a sword with his golden hand, but even less tasteful. Especially in the same episode with the worst-written eunuch jokes heard to date.

Winterhell

I mean…what’s to even say? Sansa was playing Batfinger this entire time? Or did she decide the guy needs to be executed *after* Arya threatened her life (in private) because that could win over her little sister’s loyalty

Or was Arya in on it, but you never know when Batfinger is hiding in the floorboards

When was Bran in on it? Did he seek out Sansa, complement the dress she wore the day she was pulled from her horse in the King’s Landing riot, and then tell her all his dirty deets? Did Sansa ask him to do her a solid because Arya was trying to kill them?

At what point was Arya clued in? Was that political show in the hall something she knew about?

And why was this whole drawn out thing to punk Batfinger necessary anyway? Did she think it’d be more dramatically satisfying if he was surprised? He’d probably have been surprised if she did it at the end of last season, because she had the Lysa Card in her pocket for YEARS now, not to mention he sold her to the Boltons and lied about it to everyone

Okay. Cool. Batfinger is dead. Hoisted by his own petard…or something. Except not at all

D&D’s desire to keep us guessing until the last minute is just more of this “omg here’s the twist” writing where everything seems random and unmotivated. Sometimes there’s a satisfaction in a well-executed plan that we watch unfold, and shit.

Also, is Sansa just that over Arya threatening to literally kill her? “Eh, you’re strong.” It was nice seeing sisters *not* wanting to kill each other for a scene, but the fuck?

That said, glad to see a continuation of the sith robe in Winterhell

But who wore it better?

Boatsex montage ft. Sam and Bran

Sam sidling in is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while. And of course Bran emotes for him more than any of his family all year.

I want a montage of Bran telling people he’s the 3ER and them all shrugging “I don’t know what that is.” Sansa did it best

Bran literally just…opened his mouth and expo-dumped. This is “that’s my father!” but extended for like 5 solid fucking minutes

Also it’s amazing that Sam took in anything Gilly was saying about Ragger because hmmm….wouldn’t you think that kind of thing NEEDS FOLLOW-UP?

Okay okay. So. Ragger annulled Elia which means Rhaenys and Aegon were legally speaking, disinherited. And I guess this means that Ragger is now forfeit of any parenting duties? He just really likes the name Aegon and is free to pass it on to Lyanna

She’s not even pregnant! Or if somehow she was, women die in childbirth! Who the fuck disinherits their kids when they’re the heir of a throne in a feudal order? He even had a boy named Aegon already! WHAT THE FUCK

The power of love compelled him to say “fuck all” to the line of succession and piss off the entirety of Dorne? Ragger is kind of lucky the war broke out…

”They were in love.” Good guy Ragger doesn’t kidnap 15-year-olds…he makes sure to woo them first (god the power differential there)

Now for boatsex itself, which was shown over this crapshack montage. Deadpan and Jonny didn’t even SPEAK before this. They’re just like…bored, and then they fuck. There’s sweet music and a voiceover *about* love, so it must mean they’re IN love?? How does that work? All I could think of was this.

Where was this love supposed to have been built? The caves? That time Missandei shipped it? I’m so confused.

Then as if to confirm this was just Jonny and Deadpan trying to fuck away the hours (why not, honestly? Get some.), we are treated to Tyrion outside their door looking like…hurt that this means they’re not going to play Scrabble with him or something

And the Wall came tumbling down

Ice magic + fire-made-flesh = blue fire that’s super hot. Okay.

This looked nice? I think? Kind of hard to take dragonriding Shogun seriously, but the effects were good

Whatever fear I used to have of the Army of the Dead is gone. They showed it to us too early or it’s become too similar to “generic forces of bad” a la orcs in ROTK or something. They’re just dudes, shuffling over. With percussive music.

I have to find a way to cut this to the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme like I did last year.

What a waste of a season.

Top 3 nitpicks:

Zombie!Gregor’s mere existence in a scene about the danger of the walking dead

Dothraki are a two week ride from Winterhell. Just…don’t give us numbers D&D. It’s not helping

Grey Worm and the Unsullied being TOTALLY FINE after Euron’s fleet had shown up at Casterly Rock like, weeks ago? Is this even a nitpick??

[the-desolated-quill]

Rolling Thunder Cannon Punch - Iron Fist blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Well how about that. An episode of Iron Fist that didn’t bore me into a coma. Oh don’t get me wrong. There’s still problems galore, but at least I could watch Rolling Thunder Cannon Punch without begging for the sweet release of death.

I think the main reason why I like this episode more than the first two is because this is the first episode not written by showrunner Scott Buck. Rolling Thunder Cannon Punch was written by Quinton Peeples, who seems to have a much better grasp of how to structure a story and progress a narrative. The pace isn’t as tortuously slow as it was in previous episodes, everything moves at a pretty fast clip and it did manage to hold my interest.

It appears we’ve finally gotten past the whole ‘is this really Danny Rand’ thing and they’ve now shifted to Danny having to try and legally prove his identity, enlisting the help of Jeri Hogarth from Jessica Jones to do so. While part of me wants them to just wrap it up now, it’s nice to see the characters do something more proactive for a change instead of just standing around and wringing their hands. Of course Ward is going out of his way to erase any existing evidence of Danny Rand, which injects some much needed tension into the proceedings. The fight in the hospital archive was the first time I ever came close to being engaged by what’s happening on screen.

But what really stole the show for me was Jessica Stroup as Joy Meachum as we get fascinating insights into her character that really elevates her above her brother and father. After we see Joy and Danny start to bond on her doorstep, she drops the bombshell that she’s willing to pay $100 million dollars for Danny’s shares in the company if Danny agrees to change his name and go into hiding. Danny, understandably, doesn’t like this idea very much, to which Joy responds by putting Danny on a guilt trip, saying that she and Ward worked hard to make that money and that Danny couldn’t come swanning back after 15 years and mess things up, as though he had a choice about what happened to him and his parents. I think this is the first time I’ve ever empathised with Danny in any way (don’t get excited though. The episode ruins it later on, but I’ll come back to that).

While Joy seems to be more reasonable than her brother, they are clearly cut from the same cloth. Both have become accustomed to their wealth and social status and don’t want anything to get in the way, including Danny. Joy also seems to be willing to use unorthodox methods to achieve her goals, just like Ward. In quite possibly the best scene of the season so far, Joy offers a dying child’s liver for this guy’s son in exchange for the pier that Ward (and the Hand) want. I loved Stroup’s performance in this scene. I was surprised and genuinely disturbed by how cold and seemingly uncaring Joy is, treating a child’s organs as little more than a business commodity just to get a good deal. This is very dark stuff, and I kind of half wish they would get rid of Ward and Harold and just make Joy the antagonist. She certainly has more of a presence than those two.

So Danny and Jeri now have proof that Danny is who he says he is thanks to the fingerprint on the homemade pot Danny gave Joy as a birthday present when they were kids (I like how they keep it ambiguous as to whether or not Danny stole it or if Joy finally grew a conscience and gave it to him), and now the legal battle over ownership of Rand Enterprises (or is it Industries?) has begun. I like how Danny isn’t motivated by money or power. He just wants to preserve his identity and protect his family’s legacy. Danny is only going to these lengths because the Meachums forced his hand. Okay. I can get onboard with that. There’s just one problem with this, and that’s Danny himself.

I’m sorry, but I still don’t like this character very much. Part of it is down to the performance, with Finn Jones having all the charm and charisma of an itchy verruca, but it’s mostly down to the writing. I mentioned earlier how I was actually starting to empathise with Danny when Joy stuck her oar in. Well that was ruined when Danny, once again, barges into Colleen’s dojo and starts telling her class the proper way to do martial arts. Putting aside the racial implications of a white guy instructing an Asian master of a dojo how to properly run a martial arts class, it demonstrates a sense of entitlement and arrogance that just isn’t appealing. Why should I sympathise with this bratty know-it-all? This privileged white boy who thinks he knows best. Who does he think he is? I wouldn’t dream of walking into, say, a science lecture and telling the lecturer how to instruct their students. That would be incredibly rude and insensitive, right? So why does Danny think this is acceptable?

Since I’ve mentioned Finn Jones, let’s quickly talk about the fight scenes. One of the many recurring criticisms of this show is that the fight scenes are shit. I respectively disagree. The fight scenes are actually pretty decent for the most part... when Finn Jones isn’t doing it. I mean did you see Colleen in that fight club scene? That was awesome! It was fast, brutal and intense. Compare that to the scene where Danny ‘instructs’ Colleen. Suddenly the fight choreography is a lot slower and less engaging. Why is this? The problem can’t be with the choreography because, as I said, the fight club scene is cool. The only possible explanation is that Finn Jones can’t do the fights. It looks as though the director asked Jessica Henwick to slow down in order to accommodate Jones. Now, call me crazy, but if I were making an Iron Fist TV series, I would cast somebody who could, you know, actually fight. We know for a fact that the people behind the scenes were determined to stay true to the source material and cast a white person as Danny Rand, and they have every right to do that. But if you’re so determined to keep the main character white that you cast a guy that not only can’t fight, but is also hindering the performers around him who can fight, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your priorities.

Basically what I’m saying is Lewis Tan should have been Iron Fist.

But it’s not just the arrogance and casual racism. There’s other things to. Like the patronising sexism for example. Danny keeps insisting that he doesn’t want to leave the dojo because he’s worried that Colleen will be in danger, despite the fact that she can easily take care of herself (she’s the master of a dojo, for fuck’s sake) and that he’s the one that brought the danger to her in the first place. Also he’s a bit shit at this whole protection thing, isn’t he, because at the beginning of the episode when those guys break in, Danny hides on the ceiling. Wow. Very heroic.

But the biggest problem of all is... why? Why has Danny come back from K’un L’un after all this time? Why is he in New York? It’s difficult to empathise with him because we still don’t know anything about him and we have no idea what his goal or motivation is. This is basic shit, guys. This is like the first thing they teach you at a creative writing class.

Finally let’s talk about Harold and Ward. Things are threatening to become interesting with Ward having second thoughts about being in charge of the company and the revelation that Harold isn’t so much working for the Hand, but rather he’s their puppet. Unfortunately I was somewhat distracted by the Hand’s supposed leader... Madame Gao?

But... Madame Gao never worked for the Hand. Aren’t the Hand a Japanese group? Madame Gao is Chinese. They made that pretty clear in Daredevil Season 1. Nobu and Madame Gao worked for separate factions. Scott Buck does know the difference between Chinese and Japanese, right? Bloody hell, I don’t think even the original Iron Fist comics made that mistake. Maybe they’re going somewhere with this, but I’m going to be keeping a watchful eye on this development because... this is kind of dodgy.

While Rolling Thunder Cannon Punch is nothing to get excited about, it is at least an improvement over the dull and plodding first two episodes. Whether the rest of the season will follow this trajectory and continue to improve remains to be seen.

[timelessish]

source: mine

Keenler Week (Belated) Day 5: Favorite Case

× × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × ×

So, not only is The Stewmaker my favorite episode of The Blacklist, it’s my favorite case, too. I think this is the episode that, at least for me, set the tone for the whole show.

Awesomely creepy blacklister? Check. Liz dealing with old cases (Hector Lorca) and using her profiling skills? Check. Keenler tension and chemistry? (“Why do I get the feeling you’re more interested in watching me?” ) Check. Red and Ressler working together? Check. Red having an intense monologue before he kills someone? Check.

I’ve watched this episode more than any other. It just works so well as a whole. I’ll never forget the opening sequence with the Stewmaker and that wordless music in the background. The mystery, the creepiness, the building suspense… Yeah. I love it.

Then there’s Liz and Ress’s banter in their office. Him wanting to accompany her to court so he can keep an eye on her, her seeing through his claims that it’s just to see Lorca put away. *happy sigh* Hello, unresolved sexual tension, my old friend…

When Liz is taken, Ressler makes Red involve him in talking to Lorca (aww, he’s so concerned about Liz and so determined to get her back, what a good partner), but upon the meeting with Lorca, Red promptly outs Ressler as an agent. Ressler fights off a guy putting a knife to his throat (while going “what the f-” @ Red) like a badass, then quickly proceeds to make up the cover that he’s a dirty agent, their guy for passports. Red’s look as Ressler pulls this off, gaining control of the situation and successfully convincing Lorca & Co. of his cover, is interesting, a sort of begrudgingly amused approval (and tbh, I feel like that just about sums up their relationship) at Ressler passing his test.

Side note: Red and Ressler have some of the best scenes together in the show and I seriously need more of them! Their scenes in Anslo Garrick kill me.

Megan does some incredible acting here as Liz, struggling to gain control over Stanley Kornish (aka the Stewmaker) by using her profiling skills against him. Her voice, a thin veneer of calm over barely concealed panic and terror, blows me away, and you can feel the fear in the scene when she escapes briefly, hindered by the drugs in her system as she runs, tripping and stumbling, only for The Stewmaker to appear standing ominously overhead. Oh my god, it’s creepy and terrifying and I love it.

Then Red comes for her. The way he tenderly checks to be sure she’s okay before proceeding to the Stewmaker, and the way she reacts to his appearance, with relief, fear, and that undeniable draw she feels towards him, all conveyed without words? Wow. And Spader’s performance as Red telling the parable of the farmer, ending with his abrupt killing of the Stewmaker as Liz stares, helpless and horrified? Double wow.

Finally, finally, Ressler and his team of agents show up. Red says “Agent Keen needs medical attention”, and Ress immediately drops everything to check on her, cup her cheek and gently murmur things like “It’s okay, we’re here, I’ve got you”. Oh my god, kill me. Then while she’s clinging to him as he helps her along the forest path, she collapses into his arms and The Hug happens. OH MY GOD, KILL ME.

I could, like, write an epic poem on The Hug, but I’m pretty sure anything I say about it has already been said before. It’s such a brilliant moment of acting for both Diego and Megan, and it leaves me breathless every time I see it. Good job, guys, for ruining my emotional wellbeing forever. Four for you. Liz is vulnerable and overwhelmed in that moment, and she needs someone to be there for her. Ressler becomes that someone, both in that moment and throughout the series. He’s her Person, and she’s his: the one person they can always trust and turn to.

So while Liz hurts my heart with the trauma of this episode clear on her face, it’s Ressler who really tears my emotions apart during The Hug because you can see he needs that connection just as much as Liz does. That he’s not just a Boy Scout, FBI robot, or whatever else he might be labeled or come across as. He can be closed off and set up walls against others, but so can Liz. That doesn’t make them not human or not vulnerable. I think that’s part of why they get each other so well, because they see underneath the persona they put on for the world to see the real person underneath instead. And they love that person, flawed and complicated as they might be, because they’re real and kind and good at heart.

Anyways, to stop myself before I write an essay and analysis of Keenler, my interpretation of Ressler’s face during The Hug?

Oh snap, boy caught feelings.

× × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × ×

Sorry for the late post! But hey, better late than never (lol, that’s still my policy on Keenler happening), and let’s be real, every week is Keenler Week ;) I’ve got my last two posts still in development, but hopefully they’ll be posted within the next few days!