#wow I wrote a reasonably lengthed thing??? look at me

[esoteric-joke]

Interview with Darling28

(#Interview1)

Welcome to the first interview of The Dear Writer Project and a massive thank you to the wonderful Darling28 for being so supportive of this whole idea since the beginning!

Darling28 about her writing process, her inspirations, her experiences with writers block and her future plans on writing:

What does your writing process usually look like and is it always kind of the same for every story you’ve written?

Oh interesting question. It's usually the case that ideas come from the simplest things and suddenly a complete plot is in my head within minutes or sometimes even seconds. At least the rough outline. Apart from that, my characters often like to take the plot for themselves and I just watch in amazement at what they let me write. I often suffer as much as the reader when I write because I let it flow out of me and often don't know what to expect. Most of the time, though, I have a specific scene in mind in the beginning, often for the middle of the story, and I can hardly wait until I finally get to the point where I can write it. The end of a story quite often involves a marriage proposal, I realise, even if I don't always intend to, but Louis and Harry in my stories are very stubborn about it.

But other than that, my writing process is pretty simple: get excited about a new idea, start writing immediately, often at a speed that makes my betas despair and end up questioning the whole story until I reread it myself and suddenly love it.

Do you have any sort of structured writing plan before you start writing or do you just write what comes to mind?

I'm absolutely far from structured. I have the problem that my best ideas about what to write next come to me when I'm driving and I have to memorise whole conversations or scenes for the rest of the journey. As soon as I've parked, I write it down as a note. But there's really nothing more than these few notes, no mood board or major characterisations, I just let myself go with the flow. I also think that would take some of the fun out of it for me personally, I love getting to know my characters over the course of the story and I don't want to plan everything in detail beforehand.

You said before that you write a lot, especially after you’ve got a new idea in mind. How much time do you invest in writing in your day to day life?

I actually write every day and usually around 3-4k. I think it takes about 3 hours of my time, but that's really just a rough estimate. I usually write already in the morning at breakfast before I have to go to work and then spread the rest over the afternoon and evening.

Our Souls Intertwined is your longest work at the moment. Was it also the one you wrote the longest on?

Our Souls Intertwined… I wrote this story together with freakingmeout and we took turns writing chapters, each of us wrote one character. Despite the length, I don't think we really needed much time to finish it because the other author is just as fast as I am at writing and often each of us had finished a chapter within a day. It was perhaps a little worrying in hindsight haha.

If it wasn’t Our Souls Intertwined, what work of yours did take you the longest?

Oh wow I think you've got me now and I can't give you an answer off the top of my head.

I'm guessing it might be Calm after the storm because that's my longest story that I wrote on my own. So it makes sense that it probably took me the longest to write.

But when I think about it, it could also be the current one I'm writing that hasn't been published yet. My last few weeks haven't been easy for personal reasons and I haven't had time to write and everything has stalled. I just started writing again a few days ago and am catching up.

She also told me that she sometimes drives her betas crazy with the amount and pace that she writes. On some Sundays she writes all day and sometimes feels a bit empty inside afterwards, she admitted.

What work of yours did come together the fastest?

I would say Men are shit. This story practically wrote itself and I could just let my thoughts, which I put into the story as Louis’, run free and didn't have to think about them any further. It was a great experience and I love this Louis so much!

Do you finish writing the story completely before you start publishing or do you start publishing whenever you finished a chapter?

For my first stories, I posted while I was writing. So I finished a chapter, had it proofread and then published it.

However, my only beta at the time had of course her own life and sometimes couldn't keep up with the speed at which I wanted to update again.

So at some point I started to finish writing and only then published it.

What worked better for you, personally?

Both definitely have their pros and cons. But I really liked publishing in the writing process. You get immediate feedback on what you've written, sometimes even ideas for the rest of the plot from readers' comments.

However, it would have stressed me out a lot, like in my situation the last few weeks where I couldn't write anything and had to make the reader wait for updates.

What inspires you in your day to day life the most?

The story often comes to me really quite by chance, mostly inspired by songs, not so much by the lyrics but by the feelings they convey, what lies between the lines.

Did you ever have a writers block and what helped you out of it / What do you do if you feel unmotivated?

Yes, I've had a writers block for the last few months and I've missed writing so much. But there's no point forcing yourself and for me it was best to wait until it felt right again. Before that, I didn't have anything like that as far as I can remember. Sometimes I just didn't know what to write next and got a bit stuck, but my advice here is: just start writing. Don't think, just do it.

And if I'm just unmotivated then I leave it for the day because I know it'll be definitely easier the next one.

What do you find most stressful/annoying/repetitive in the process of writing a story?

For me it's the hardest thing to end the story because then I'm usually so connected to the characters that it feels like saying goodbye to a dear friend every time and I'm actually really sad.

Oh and one thing that really frustrates me is that my Louis and Harry very often crash the chapter with sex. I love writing smut but sometimes they overdo it (okay it amuses me a bit too).

Darling28 also told me, that one of her favourite phases in writing a story is the getting-to-know-each-other phase. She said that she loves it because that’s when she feels like the characters come to life and the tension between them grows.

Can you tell me something about any future projects you’re working on?

I'm happy to tell you about future projects!

In addition to my many ideas for stories that I haven't started yet, I'm currently writing four open ones. Two with other authors and two of my very own. I hope that I will soon be able to present the readers with something new from me, because for me it is always the best thing to finally be able to share my work with the fandom.

For the next part of the interview, I asked Darling28 more specific questions about her works.

What work of yours is your personal favourite?

It's really difficult to name THE one. But I'll go with the three that come to my mind first, okay?

Calm after the storm, because I love their love in this story and I felt for both of them while writing it. It still touches me today.

Men are shit, because Louis is just chaos but so sweet at the same time. I loved describing his ADHD brain, letting his mind run wild. I wanted to give neurospicy people a story in which they can find themselves and feel understood.

True Colours, because I wrote this story for my friend and beta who wanted me to make Harry really suffer as it's usually Louis in my stories who has to go through everything horrible. I love the development of the two of them in this story. They heal together and I don't think there's anything better.

What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who isn’t familiar with your works and why?

I think that would be Paparazzi. That's the most popular one of mine and it contains a bit of everything but it's not as extremely angsty as others that I wrote. A bit of enemies to lovers, gay awakening, smut, fluff - what more could you want?

A lot of your works are based around complicated and complex topics like having a bad relationship with your parents, mental health issues and homelessness and everything that comes along with it. Why do you specifically choose to write about those topics?

I love the drama and the big emotions.

But also because none of our lives are perfect. Everyone has their own struggles and their own traumas and I love picking up on that. It especially touches me when readers find themselves in it, feel understood and heard. I think for some it's some kind of validation. It's wonderful to turn something very sad into something very good. As much as I love the drama, I also love the happy ending.

And of course it's also free therapy in a way. There's always a part of me in most stories.

The Magic Within You is your only story, that doesn’t really have any of those topics (besides of Louis’ tendencies to panic quickly). Why did you want to write something so different to your usual writing style?

The Magic Within You is a pure, cheesy Christmas story that was set up like an advent calendar when I posted it, but I think it can be read very well throughout the year.

I always find Christmas a difficult time of the year myself. Lots of people come together and I'm often overwhelmed. I especially wanted to give people who might feel the same way a cute story, offer some distraction and sweeten the day. I hope I succeeded.

By the way, I love how you mentioned the panicky side of Louis. So adorable.

Is something like an advent calendar planned for this christmas season too or was it a one-time thing for you?

No, I haven't planned another one, but never say never. Maybe I'll suddenly get an idea in October and start writing like crazy.

Actually, a sequel to The Magic Within You was planned for this summer but unfortunately I couldn't do that for personal reasons that I had already mentioned. But I definitely want to publish the sequel next year!

You wrote Our Souls Intertwined and Bring me to life with freakingmeout. How did that go?

Oh it's a totally interesting experience because here too we only had the rough plot, but because everyone wrote their character in alternating chapters it was always exciting for the other to see what would happen in the chapter of the other. Sometimes I sat there shocked or totally amused and had to think about how I was going to live through certain situations with my character. It's definitely anything but boring and you experience it as an author as well as a reader.

When I asked her if it feels like a roleplay kind of thing she actually confirmed that it does sometimes feel like exactly that.

Paparazzi is your most popular work. Why do you think this one in particular got the most attention?

I have absolutely no idea why Paprazzi is the most popular one. I often ask myself that but maybe it's really because it's not such a heavy one? But instead of looking for answers, I prefer to be happy that so many people like it.

Is there a work of yours that you’d like to get the attention that Paparazzi got or just more attention in general?

Oh yes, definitely. In my personal opinion, Holding On To Heartache has far too little attention. I know where it comes from, or rather I suspect that the tag 'suicide attempt' puts a lot of people off, but I still think it's worth reading. You can always expect a happy ending with my stories.

Is there a work of yours that you wouldn’t publish again in hindsight?

I must confess that I have already deleted my very first story. And I know that my betas and friends will kill me if they read this now. Because they kept stopping me every time I had a crisis about this story but I did it nontheless one day. I guess my secret is out now... oops. If you read this, please don't be mad!

But I'm actually thinking about revising it and publishing it again at some point.

Are there any characters in one of your stories that are inspired by people or animals you know in real life?

Yes... Bree in 'Paparazzi' is my friend and beta. But I don't think I realised until the later chapters that I was using her as a role model for this absolutely wonderful character.

For the last part of the interview, I asked Darling28 some personal questions that are more about the fandom and less about her experiences with writing.

Since when are you in the fandom and what made you become a part of it?

I am a Lockdown-Larrie haha. I was watching Tik Tok videos out of sheer boredom like probably so many others and suddenly a video with two guys popped up. It's this one where Harry is sitting on the armchair, Louis is sitting on the armrest while Harry is looking up at Louis, absolutely enamoured. I was just sitting there and I remember thinking: who the hell are these two guys that are so in love?

I read through the comments and searched the web for more informations. After that, my days were filled with watching all the YouTube videos and then making a Twitter account. I was absolutely down the rabbit hole and I don't regret it one day. At first I was in the lane of LHH (I mean, come on, just look at him) but then I listened to Louis music and he got my number 1 and never lost rank again. Also, the song Just hold on saved me, the lockdown was not a good time for my mental health.

Your favourite Louis and Harry Era?

LHH forever. If I had enough money I would bribe him to let them grow long again. Although I'd have to meet him first. My plan isn't finalised yet as you can see but yeah... I think you know now how serious I am, haha.

And Louis... Hedgehog and FITF. I just love when his hair is fluffy.

Your favourite movie H starred in?

My Policeman. Damn, I was broken after watching it but it's so good.

Who’s your favourite writer in the fandom at the moment?

One of my favourite authors is BoosBabycakes. I especially love their a/b/o stories!

And your all-time favourite fic in the fandom?

Oh, that's really difficult. There are too many good ones and I really need to think about it for a moment. But I would like to name a story that is not one of the fandom's always recommended ones.

Okay... I go with this one, it's definitely one of my favourite a/b/o stories, the nesting is so sweetly described and I think I really need to read it again:

You've Got A Higher Power, You're Once In Any Lifetime by BoosBabycakes

What makes you want to stop reading something?

If the story is written in first person or the plot doesn't make sense to me and I question too much in the story. Some stories are also too artificially drawn out for me. I don't like slooooooow burn. My attention span doesn't last that long.

Your favourite song at the moment?

Call me by Neeve, it's a small german indie band but I like them a lot.

Of course nothing beats Louis music, I hope I don't have to mention that, do I?

Do you have a favourite movie or a favourite series at the moment?

No, neither of them. I haven't watched anything for ages. I prefer to spend my free time writing.

What was the most unusual thing that inspired you at some point?

Erm I hope this doesn't come across as weird but Louis' bum and waist. For some of my a/b/o stories and ideas that I still want to write.

What is your favourite season?

Spring, when everything turns green again and starts to blossom.

She also told me, that she has hay fever and that sometimes it’s unbearable for her until autumn but she still loves spring the most, especially after the darker months.

Who would you like to read an interview from?

I don't have a specific author in mind but I'd like it to be someone with a smaller fanbase to draw more attention to them.

I wanted to make it a little tradition for every interview, that every writer gives every of their works a colour and a season. It’s just a fun little thing for the end of the interview I thought would be interesting. Thankfully, Darling28 thought it was a great idea too, so here are the results:

Captured Ink, Hidden Hearts - pink and black, spring.

Bring me to life - darkblue, autumn.

Our Souls Intertwined - dark red, late summer.

True Colours - rainbow, obviously, autumn.

Men are shit - pink and green, summer

The Magic Within You - ice blue and white, winter (on a sunny day)

Tainted Love - brown, winter

Calm after the Storm - purple, early spring

Tank tops and a phone call - red, summer (a very hot day)

Letters - dark green, last summer days

I'm with you - white and grey, autumn

Paparazzi - yellow, summer

Holding On To Heartache - black with golden sprinkles, winter

Paradise is in your own mind (Sequel HOTH) - dark pink, spring

You Sunshine, You Temptress - green, summer

Careless Whisper - dark blue, winter

A huge thank you again to Darling28. Thanks for understanding my vision and being so open and kind. I appreciate it so much.

[kawaiibarty]

the phantom's game

wow okay, this fic has A LOT of lore. if you don't want to read a fic with a plot full of Plot and Slow Burn then this isn't the fic for you. alternatively, if you're looking for a fic that reads like it should be shoved in the recesses of a dingy library then this might be the fic for you?

masterlist

the fic:

the phantom's game will be incredibly slow in the beginning because it's basically remus just getting his footing in the world of literature and it's building up to the main plot.

this fic will also be written in three parts (but it will be put all together as one fic in case you want to download it or whatever, it also makes reading easier i think) or at least that's the aim. it may end up being more than three (maybe four MAYBE) and the word count aim is around 100k to 120k words. ideally the fic was to have around 40/50 chapters but as of now im really uncertain about the length (even though i know how it ends lol) because, and im such a nerd for this, but i ended up doing some math about fic chapter length compared to the original work and so far ive gathered that for every 1 chapter in the original work i have 2 chapters for my fic and an additional 1.5k words. it took me forever to work that out please clap. counting words in a book is hard.

and also

i feel like it's a testament to the dedication im putting into this fic 😔

the point of view might change from third to first person after part one, which may be a bit confusing so im putting a pin in this idea for now as im not even close to part two (let me know what you think about this!)

characters/relationships

this fic is written from the perspective of remus lupin and the main pairing is wolfstar (remus/sirius). main characters are remus, leo ferox (from the fanfiction all the young dudes), and sirius black. other characters are barty crouch jr, lily evans and her father who is an oc; maurice evans and other characters will be added as i write because i cba to actually flesh it out rn (and also i dont want to spoil). there are also minor relationships that are discussed.

trigger warnings/content warnings:

there are quite a few things that happen in this fic that id like to forewarn you of should you decide to read it. there are discussions of abusive parents, substance abuse and violence. in one of the chapters there will be some dubious consent, drugging, there will be descriptions of murder and violence as well as discussions around mental illness and homophobia. discussions/mentions of suicide!!!!

i will be adding on as the fic goes because i know there is stuff that ive missed.

why am i doing this???

i largely wrote this fic because i got high on meds and some other stuff it was wacko and i had absolutely nothing to do. id completely given up in trying to recover my old zombie apocalypse fic (it's a long story) and i really wanted something that i was familiar with not just because i liked the complex and the idea but because i knew it. iykwim?

it's based on a book i read when i was fifteen that got me out of the second largest reading slump in my life and basically catapulted me into the genre of fantasy realism and the whole dark/chaotic academia scene. i also decided that i would continue writing it after my beta @thestrawberryapologist showed interest in it.

another reason why i continued it rather than trying to piece together a nonexistent zombie apocalypse fic was because i have recommended this book COUNTLESS times but it seems no one i recommended it to seemed to like it.

so this is me saying, very passive aggressively, that the plot IS GOOD :(

i smashed the original book in like 2 days and ive been thinking about it for four years straight. i haven't even gotten to reading the other parts of the series because im still hooked on how THIS specific one was written.

its also a really fun (and for me) a new look into the characters because ive really never written anything this detailed before. the plot is a rollercoaster and you HAVE to stay on your toes with the the original work and i would really really like to reflect that onto my writing.

this is also the first time since i was 15/16 that ive properly attempted anything full length with the means to actually finish it off.

when is it going to be finished?

that's a good question. and one i don't know the answer to. it took me 2 months to get to chapter 4 so... it may take a year or two or 6 months dude but it's gonna be long and it's gonna be full

please don't be shy to ask me about it (though that doesn't mean im inclined to spoil it — which i won't!)

[inkdemonapologist]

Do you ever think about how Nathan Arch is canonically Joey’s sugar daddy?

YALL HAVE A WILD DEFINITION OF “CANONICALLY” SOMETIMES

What we know (assuming there's no exciting new nathan lore im gonna discover when i read FtB, in which case don't tell me lmao), canonically, is that Nathan gave Joey a lot of advice about starting his company, some more advice while JDS was running and looked over the land for the Bendyland park with him, and that when things got real bad for JDS, Joey wrote to Nathan, hemming and hawing about how he normally definitely wouldn’t do this, to ask for a specific amount of money to help with the bills. We also can assume he’s a little older than Joey, since they were in the military together when Joey was too young to be in the military. 

What is not hard AT ALL to read between the lines is that Nathan had a big crush on Joey Drew, source: every footnote in the Illusion of Living, several audiologs in BatDR. 

What is certainly possible to believe is that Joey would never mention if Nathan was giving him consistent financial support, and that Nathan would similarly gloss over it, because he likes the image of Joey as a clever self-made man who deserves his success and wants to preserve Joey’s good name. 

We actually don’t know if Nathan gave Joey any money, we just know that Joey asked for it, and that everything we know about Nathan suggests he would’ve been happy to help (and everything we know about Joey suggests he would’ve downplayed how much he really needed and thus the studio going under anyway does not mean Nathan ignored the request.) So it’s quite reasonable to suspect he did, but even THAT isn’t canon confirmed.

And, like, not to be That Guy except that this is my blog and I can That Guy to my heart’s content — giving someone money does not make you a sugar daddy. SUGAR DADDY IS A TRANSACTIONAL RELATIONSHIP and gay relations between Joey Drew and Nathan Arch are the realm of headcanon. LIKE, A HEADCANON THAT CAN BE VERY STRONGLY SUPPORTED AND ARGUED FOR, if someone told me "wow joey and nathan DEFINITELY had something going on" I would laugh and agree, but it's an interpretation nonetheless. You could make an equally strong argument that Nathan is closer to what the kids call a simp, praising Joey’s brilliance and helping him with his problems and eagerly paying his bills because of a huge unrequited crush that Joey took advantage of but never returned. There's several ways to read it. 

But... I do think a lot about how these two stayed in contact, stayed friends, even though Joey always seemed to be playing a role around Nathan, never quite felt comfortable explaining the things he felt most passionately about. He tells him about Bendyland, but clams up when Nathan doesn’t understand why it matters so much to him. It doesn’t seem like Joey ever tells him about Audrey; even though Nathan can hear the joy in his voice and notes that his old friend sounds more like himself than he has in a long time, he never knows why. Nathan is so so so taken with Joey, but there’s something about Nathan that Joey doesn’t trust. 

Interesting that Joey never does brag about Nathan investing in him as proof of his own business acumen, though he doesn’t mind bragging about the investment of a grief-stricken mother who only regarded him as a polite young man. What’s threatening, then, about the idea of Nathan supporting him? It’s interesting the way Nathan is fascinated with every part of him and Joey always holds himself at arm’s length. Interesting how Joey enjoys his company, but gets uncomfortable and changes the subject whenever Nathan regards him, positively, as someone who pulled himself up to success out of nothing. Interesting to compare Nathan to Kyle, the other rich friend of Joey's who gets called a “sugar daddy” by the fandom (despite being younger than Joey), how Joey is uncomfortable when Kyle prods him about his status and tries to take credit for him, and then the way Nathan doesn’t do this but Joey still shies away whenever he hits the edges of those topics. ...It’s almost more interesting if Joey was trying his absolute hardest to avoid Nathan funding him, despite the fact that Nathan was clearly taken with him and probably would have been happy to help. What strings were attached to Kyle that Joey was afraid to find in Nathan?

[littlemissheavenonearth]

The Dancer and the Rockstar Part 5: {Joe Elliott x Reader}

I'm so sorry for making y'all waint so long!!! Here it is <333

The group walked around the city most of the morning. It was warm and the sun was shining. Even though thousands of people were in the city at this moment, there was a kind of silence, it was peaceful. The city was calm and today was the perfect day to just take a stroll around the city and enjoy each other’s company. 

They went to some clothing stores because Y/N saw some articles of clothing she liked in the windows. She saw this red dress that she liked, so the boys agreed to let her try it on. The dress was a summer dress, so its length went just above her knees. It was a V-neck dress with strings on the back. Y/N put the dress on and looked at herself in the mirror. “I kinda like it..” She smiled. So, then she opened the door to see the boys waiting for her. Four of the boys, Sav, Steve, Rick and Pete all said “wow” or “ooo”, but Joe stayed silent. He just looked at her and she looked at him. “Joe?” She said and she snapped him out of his trance, “What? Oh.. you look good.” He stuttered, embarrassed with himself. Y/N bought the dress and walked out the store while talking to Steve.

“What was that?” Sav asked Joe.

“What was what?”

“Why were you staring at Y/N?”

“Because she is gorgeous.” Joe looked at the girl that was talking to Steve, “Why is it so hard to admit it?”

“Because you like her.”

“Do I?” 

“Well…” Sav knew he did, but Joe wasn’t letting himself believe that he liked his childhood best friend.

“But what if I do, Sav? She’ll never like me back. I mean, she’s my best friend.” 

“I think that you’ve known each other long enough to be reasonable with each other. She won’t leave because you confess to her. I think she might also like you back.” Joe nodded in agreement, “Ok, I’ll tell her when I’m ready,”

As they were walking, somebody tried to offer the girl a rose, but Joe refused for her. Right after this situation, the group found a small pub to eat lunch in. 

It had many rooms and staircases, but it was still easy to find your way around. Y/N and the band sat down at a table for six people, obviously. Each of them ordered their drink and something to eat. 

Throughout lunch, the group just talked about the most random things that have happened in the past. The boys told the girl about how Def Leppard came to be. She knew that Joe was really passionate about making music and she firmly believed that he would make it big. She was sad that she missed when the band first formed and the release of their first album On Through The Night, but Def Leppard was still a small band and they had so much more ahead of them. 

The boys were in the process of writing the songs for their second album, High N’ Dry. Joe mentioned one specifically that he wrote for Y/N and that was Mirror, Mirror. The line “Take a look into my eyes, tell me what you see.” was written because of all those times that he and Y/N would go to the dance studio. Everytime the girl would look through the mirror, she would look into Joe’s eyes and he’d look into hers. Both of them, when they would look into each other’s eyes, they would see a kind of spark, or electricity of love. 

Joe sang a little bit of the song at the table, “I’ll sing the rest of what I got later.” and Y/N nodded, she already loved it and couldn’t wait to hear the rest. 

“I’ll pay,” Joe smiled, just as Y/N was pulling out her money.

“Are you sure?” She asked. He’s such a gentleman!

“Yes, of course, love,” He pulled out his money and put it out on the table. After paying, Joe said, “We should head back to the venue for a sound check.” and the rest of the band agreed. 

The six of them walked about half an hour to get back to the venue and it was about 3:30 when they got there. On the walk back, they talked about anything and everything. Without even realizing, Joe had slipped his hand into Y/N’s hand, when she noticed, she blushed hard. Upon arriving at the venue, Joe didn’t let go of her hand and she didn’t want him to anyway. 

Before going inside, the boys grabbed their instruments from the tour bus. Joe and Y/N went inside already because they didn’t need to grab anything. As they walked inside, Y/N observed the room.

“Wow, this place is beautiful,” She ran towards the center of the room and spun around. Joe followed close behind her. 

“Do you wanna watch from the audience, or from backstage?” Joe asked.

“Either is fine,” She smiled and continued dancing. 

“How ‘bout backstage?” 

“Okay!” She giggled. Joe sat on stage and watched her dance to the beat of the non-existent music. Y/N danced whenever really, it didn’t matter whether there was music or not. The rest of the boys entered and began to set up for sound check. Joe got up to talk to the rest of the band. 

“Boys, could we play Mirror Mirror?” The singer asked.

“For the show or for sound check?” Steve asked.

“Well, both.”

“Is this for Y/N?” Rick asked, “‘Cause if it is, I think you should save it for the show.” The boys agreed.

Joe hesitated and nodded, “Ok, we’ll save it for the show,” 

During sound check, the boys played Wasted, Hello America, High N’ Dry and Bringin’ on the Heartbreak. There was a slight issue with Sav’s cable, so it took about 15 minutes to get him a new one. Overall, the soundcheck went very well and the boys sounded amazing. 

After soundcheck, Y/N and Joe went to his dressing room to get ready for the show. Joe put on a shiny blue-ish, purple top and white trousers. Y/n put on a denim dress with a brown belt and brown leather boots to match. 

“I think we both look amazing,” Joe said as the two stared into the same mirror. The girl nodded, she thought Joe looked incredibly handsome in his outfit tonight. Obviously Joe thought the same about Y/N. 

“I’m really excited for the show!” The girl beamed. 

“Me too!” Joe replied, “Let’s go get the other boys.” Y/N nodded and followed Joe. Once, the whole group met up together backstage, they did a few pre-show rituals. They all sighed and began to leave for the stage.

“Hey Joe,” Joe turned to the girl before he went on stage, “Good luck, love.”

“Thank you, Y/N.” He smiled, she got on her tiptoes and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Joe blushed and smiled again.

“You’re gonna do great! Now, go! The audience is waiting for you!” 

Tags: @defleppardfan1 @i-love-def-leppard @elliotts-personal-property @bring-on-the-heartbreak-joe @stevesorgasmicriffs @genxrocker @steveinscarlet

[cha-melodius]

It’s Beas nice ask day!

So my question for you; what is something (fandom or not) that made you step back and go “damn I really did that”?

HI BEAS, thanks so much for the ask that I'm finally getting around to answering after the boopocalypse.

I think I got that feeling the first time I wrote a story that tipped over 100k words, and I still get it to some degree whenever I finish another long fic. For some reason that makes me step back and go, "wow, I wrote a whole-ass novel" in a way that a lot of other things don't. Like, I had a sense of accomplishment when I finished my doctoral dissertation but it wasn't a "damn I really did that" kind of feeling, it was just like, "yeah, it's done thank god" lmao. Maybe because it's just a pop-culture thing where people are like "OooOOh, so-and-so wrote a novel" or "I'm writing a novel" and now I just wanna be like "oh yeah, well I've written at least five of them" (which is only counting 50k+ fics and not all my sub-novel-length ones). Even saying that now still makes me go "damn, I really did that." Still seems kinda fake.

ANYWAY. There you go I guess, a brief look into my head lol.

[ertrunkenerwassergeist]

Are there any conspiracy theories about the Deep City?

Hope you don't mind the length of this. It got out of hand real fast XD

Host 1: Hello and welcome back to another episode of 'Ghost Stories'. Your friendly podcast where we talk about all things spooky and mysterious in Lucis. My name is Idona.

Host 2: My name is Silvestre, and if you actually call me that, good on you. Today's episode is especially spooky, since it takes places in our own wonderful crown city Insomnia.

Idona: Uuuhhhhhh. I always love those.

Sil: Yeah. One would think we would get more of those, but apparently our dear listeners like to hear about the outside world.

Idona: Which makes episodes like this all the more exciting!

Sil: Absolutely. I mean, who would want to hear about the outside, if you have such a treasure trove right in front of your doorstep? Do you know how old Insomnia is? Older than dirt. It always makes me wonder how many stories are really buried here.

Idona: You know, current theory is that Isnomnis is most likely older than Lucis. Dear old Somnus probably saw a reasonably sized city and renamed it.

Sil: Huh.

Idona: Anyway! What's the story that has been brought to us this time?

Sil: Oh, it's great. You're gonna love it. Ghosts in the old aqueducts!

Idona: A proper ghost story! How wonderful. It's been so long since we've had one of those.

Sil: The last Insomnian ghost story we talked about here was the one with the red capped spirits that steal people away, right? Or was it the one about the guy who turned up a hundred years ago with no identification papers whatsoever, spoke only a strange dialect of Old Lucian and then vanished without a trace?

Idona: I think it was the latter. Still convinced the other one were just weird debt collectors.

Sil: Probably, yeah. I mean all of their known victims were poor people with huge debts, so...

Idona: Still a crime though.

Sil: You know, we should probably get started on this week's story. Otherwise our runtime will only be filled with senseless ramblings.

Idona: Sil, our runtimes are always filled with senseless ramblings. But take it away.

Sil: Okay, so. This story came to our ears thanks to one of our listeners. She wishes to remain anonymous, but she wrote us that her cousin works for the WSD, the Water Sanitary Department for those who don't know. Said cousin is responsible of keeping the old waterlines up and running.

Idona: Wow, stop. Are you telling me that we aare still using those? The youngest ones of the old waterlines are at least a thousand years old! At least!

Sil: Well, the old Lucians must have builld things to last. And if it ain't broke, why fix it?

Idona: You just sounded so Leidean.

Sil: Why, thank you. My ancestors would be proud. So, Anon's cousin is down there, doing his job of looking at stones as old as dirt to make sure nothing will come crumbling down, when all of a sudden he heard a strange noise.

Idona: Was it voices? It's always voices.

Sil: Got it in one. The cousin heard voices whispering in strange tongues. Of course he goes closer, since no one but him is supposed to be down there. Gotta warn those people away and all that. But as he walked around the corner, his torch goes out and he hears a strange humming.

Idona: Go on. This is getting good.

Sil: Just wanted to see, if you had something to say. Anon's cousin is understandably freaked out by all of this. But still he calls out, because he just knows someone is there. Which is when he starts seeing strange, glowing shapes in the pitch dark.

Idona: I wish I had been there! This is turning out to be one of the most amazing eyewitness accounts for ghostly activity!

Sil: Yeah, but sadly there's not much more to it.

Idona: Awww.

Sil: Because at this point Anon's cousin runs back the way he came, totally freaked out by all of this. Thankfully his torch turned back on not long after and all he had was a shock and a few scrapes and bruises from running in the dark.

Idona: That's a relief.

Sil: You don't look relieved.

Idona: Well, he could have at least tried to communicate with the ghosts. Just imagine what we might have learned from them!

Sil: Or Anon would now have a dead cousin.

Idona: Or that, yeah.

Sil: But we're still not quite at the end of this little story. One day later Anon's cousin comes back to the place with two others. They find nothing there but some freshly carved symbols on the wall.

Idona: What did the symbols look like?

Sil: Here. Anon's cousin copied them down for us.

Idona: Huh. I feel like I've seen those before.

Sil: What? Really?

Idona: Yeah, I mean, my mum is a historian specialising in Insomnia's earlier history. She's been trying to get permission to go to the lowest levels for basically half her life now, but gets denied every time. Apparently it's too unsafe down there. I feel like I've seen something similar to those symbols in one of her books before.

Sil: You know, hearing that, I can't help but wonder how safe the structural integrity of Insomnia actually is.

Idona: Oh Astrals, don't make me think about that! This gives me some real existential angst.

Sil: ...

Idona: Now you get it.

Sil: Aaaanyway. What did you think of this week's story, folks? Please leave your comments on our mog page or leave a small donation at our crown-cast page.

Idona: Donators can bring stories to our attention - much like this one - have access to all our episodes two days early and can participate in live FAQs once a month.

Sil: Thank you all for listening. And remember:

Idona: The world is scarier than you think it is.

[inventors-fair]

Clench of Victory: Wanting Winners! ~

Our winners this week are @bergdg, @spooky-bard and @wolkemesser!

@bergdg — Desire

Look, out of the three, one of ‘em had to come out on top, right? I forget if I wrote the “your first cool idea and someone else’s first cool idea are probably gonna be the same” article before I saw the multiple desires, but either way, I had a feeling. The way to combat that is to make them all pretty great! Honestly, though, I do feel that this card’s got the nuances down. Desire and passion being entwined is a good choice—and I honestly didn’t see that the flavor text was a riff on Judgement Genesis until looking it up. Not the most original, but your adjective choice ties nicely to the mechanics.

Really, it’s the mechanics that make this card the most reasonable to me. You’re pushing the envelope in a way that feels unique to both the Incarnation type and balanced to contemporary MTG gameplay. Choosing only one card means choosing your passion, and the length of the impulse is really sweet as well and allows for flexible deckbuilding in both limited and constructed. I think, aside from shifting your flavor text to more of your own words, the only thing to change is “Whenever one of more creatures you control attack” to “Whenever you attack” re:Adeline.

@spooky-bard — Taste of Home

STRAIGHT. UP. POSITIVITY. Look, I’m a grimdark man at heart, but when I saw this card, the first thought I had was that someone understood the assignment. It’s a cute, simple, relatable card that sorta loosely implies the environment and, to me, feels like a card that would come near the end of limited playtesting when the team needs one final flavor home-run to round things out. Maybe it’s Eldrainian, maybe not! Doesn’t matter.

Personally, too, I’m a fan of these kind of Narrow Escape effects. This one’s hella cheap and makes an artifact token that you can sac for life; in a tight spot, declaring blockers to help you stabilize while throwing down a cool ETB on your next turn can be quite relevant indeed, and while it’s not something you probably want to build a deck around, Food as an archetype has always been a favorite of mine since its introduction. What does this world have to say about it? That’s about all the inner world we want and need for this card. It’s tight and direct and pulls no punches about the kind of simple adventurer’s desire that really makes players feel like they’re part of their own deck in a way. Again: you get it. Specificity matters so much in designs like this.

@wolkemesser — That Hideous Hunger

Oh, hey, more food! Christ. This card’s an absolute menace. I think that you really struck something with me here, because odd titles like this that happen to work within the card’s framing device are super cool to me. It’s an embodiment of hunger, sure, a form of uncontrollable desire—passionless, but exerted; unbalanced, but omnipresent. I say “unbalanced” in the purely flavorful sense. The card itself is a pain in the butt but not something that people can’t deal with. “Eat or be eaten” is a great way to go about realizing how hunger works, and you know what, I’m glad to see you taking your wild ideas and really cleaning it up here.

The fact that it affects yourself is very fun, and it shows that it’s a card you probably want to hold onto until you can get things out; don’t let your hunger manifest until you’re willing to show for it. I wonder if there would be a token-y archetype in white that could combat this, and/or if blue would have extra bounce to take care of a card like this, because wow, this card comes down and you’re not gonna have a good time. Except maybe you are with the lifegain! Four life to the Food’s three is an excellent little idea. I mean, what else is there to say? In Commander, you’re gonna make enemies, and in Standard/Limited, you’re gonna have fun. Small notes: “They are” should be “They’re,” and weirdly enough, “Food” should be “Foods” in this kind of effect, which I don’t blame you for missing. That’s a weird’n. Just like the player who plays this and gets to live their trollsona dreams. ... Not like that, Tumblr.

Really gonna have a fun time with commentary this week. Runners coming soon!

@abelzumi

[drunktuesdays]

25, 26, 27, and 28 for I Want To Take Down the Walls with You!

oh wow, this is going to send me back. Under the cut is VERY old school classic lea-in-teen-wolf discussion of knotting and lactation

Which idea came to you first in [x fic]? Okay. so I wrote I Want To Take Down the Walls With You with @llassah so she'll have to correct me if I get anything wrong.

We wrote it almost entirely in a back and forth email chain with @eeames audiencing. I just went and looked it up, and eeames actually came up with the idea. she said:

last night i couldn't sleep until 5am, and i was thinking about gross fics, and what /hasnt/ been done yet and i got it: combine two kinks into one. HEAR ME OUT IT COULD BE AMAZING. like squirting, but only it's self lubrication squirting. or like, lactation knotting. why are there no fics of this.

So. you know. There's a world in which we wrote a giant fic where when stiles feels too much love in his heart, he squirts lube from his butt. Is that worse than what we did? Couldn't tell you. Which part of [x fic] was the hardest to write?

This was written in April 2014, so I HONESTLY can't remember, but perusing this email chain right now, it looks effortless. It honestly looks like we wrote the bulk if it in a back and forth over about 24 hours and 25 emails. At some point, we must have moved it over to a doc and smoothed over the edges and transitions, but I have NO memory of that process being laborious or annoying, so I honestly think it was a magical story that was just simply ASKING to be born. It needed to exist and llassah and I were possessed by horny lactation muses until we finished.

If you were ever to do a sequel to [x fic], what do you think might happen in it?

I think it's probably unlikely that Llassah and I will be writing a sequel to this story any time soon, but I do remember that something we cut from it for length and pacing reasons was Derek actually telling him some of the stories he'd heard about true mates. I think I had written a little section about the moon getting big time knotted by a wolf and they were blessed with a lil baby and that's how werewolves were made. I made it soooooooo much more beautiful than that, but I think maybe if I was ever going to return to that world it would be Derek telling myths and legends to his kids. He won't use the words big time knotting, don't worry.

In [x fic], what is a happy, post-fic headcanon you have about [pairing]?

I think when Stiles does get pregnant, Derek will be infuckingsufferable. Not in any way perceptible to anyone other than Stiles, but to Stiles it's SO obvious. Once Stiles starts to show, Derek is basically bursting at the seams with pride and smugness. A key part of this story is that none of this would happen unless Stiles was so happy and loved Derek so much and wanted it, so every time he sees Stiles's little swell, it's tangible proof that he's doing a good job. that he's doing things right. that he's making stiles happy. that it's OKAY that Derek is getting everything he's ever wanted because Stiles wants it to.

THANK YOU FOR THAT TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE. LLASSAH PLEASE TELL ME IF I'VE MISREPRESENTED US.

[cartoonemotion]

look at me sofa i am taking you by the hands. brinky- i mean fethro for the ask meme

wow it's weird min how you wrote the same ship name twice. anyways: ship it !

What made you ship it?: another kind of passing thought that was just kind of reinforced by saga of the super intern, and in general i am definitely not above "opposites attract" kind of pairings. sometimes the classics are a classic for a reason

What are your favorite things about the ship?: AGAIN... REAL ECCENTRIC SCIENTISTS KISS EACH OTHER ! in all seriousness tho i do really think they have the potential to compliment each other well. one of my favorite things about dt17 is that despite all the sharp shooting and sour exterior he still retains this kind of ? very earnest sense of whimsy that he still can't help but kind of include with all of his inventions (little lightbulb helper, time machine but it's a bathtub, Rocket Horses ! and etc) and i think in spite of himself (and admittedly with the huge jumpstart of character development post-astro boyd) i think fethry's unique perspective and interests would actually kind of really charm and endear him ? likewise i don't think fethry's all that put off by his sharp exterior or attempts to keep people at arms length, considering he's used to the likes of both donald and scrooge for example, i think he has an easier time seeing it for what it is which is a kind of (bad. bad and not good but regardless) defense mechanism, and he TOTALLY relates to gyro's passion and genius not being misunderstood... it just all comes together. in my mind

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?: most of it just comes down to how i feel like both characters often get kind of misinterpreted separately in their own rights, so. nothing specific i guess to pairing them together

[alexenglish]

alex alex alex i GOTTA know. what's been your Favorite Look for each member of stray kids.

oh!! this is a tall order, gunna go off instincts and vibes with the caveat that i'm not thinking about this too hard. ALSO i'm gunna go kinda with like...hair looks mostly? because i think there's a wide array of things i could talk about within 'looks' including various styling and makeup over the years, but i think a hair look is so distinctly an era so we'll default that . (if you want more in-depth member thoughts, you can send me an individual member but for all 8 of them, i'm not gunna give myself more work) anyway, let's start from the top <3

undeniably a chan three-tone enjoyer. i think this length is excellent on him -- the little blunt butch cut plus the tiered black, blonde, red. sophisticated scene hair. it makes me think of revenge era frank iero for no reason other than color scheme and emo vibe. the up styling, the down styling. when they'd do it kinda tousled and messy -- @ the stylists doing their current fuck shit with his hair: bring it BACK.

as much as i am DEEPLY compelled by the current LENGTH of minho's hair and the embodiment of boy gender he is gendering, my truth is tangerine lino is everything to me. my BELOVED kool aid dye. the way it washed out into that soft bronze. honestly probably made especially exquisite by the make up of the god's menu era, and i love it immensely.

uncontested queen of my changbin heart is this specific undercut look. with changbin, i want all the undercuts and there ARE others, but i love how close this one is and the shaved step design and the choppiness of his hair plus the styling 😖😖😖 when a man is perfect 😖😖😖

i actually don't think hyunjin needs to be perpetually blonde OR that the blonde hair needs to perpetually be long, BUT when he has both of those things, i DO need it half up and decorated with the prettiest little braids. it does make me think of being queer in high school and my hair being super short and girls flirting with me by playing with my hair, and if they gave me the little braids, i'd keep them in for as long as possible because it made them happy. anyway. girlfriend hyune. (special shout out to fire engine red hj though, the way that BLED all over his face and neck and clothes when he performed [rabid barking])

jisung is actually the hardest to me because i'm obsessed with him and also i think he looks SOOO good in different colors & i'm so partial to the blonde look because i wrote it into a fic and anytime he has blonde hair (and changbin has black hair at the same time) i'm like that's SOOO specifically my FIC jisung, but also i fucking love dark hair on him, especially if it's longer and the orange made me BONKERS and the grey is so good and they NEED to give me BLUE again, but actually my REAL answer is jisung in hats. love his boy gender of beanies and hoods, love when he is COZY. love when he wears a CAP, backwards OR forwards... i just think wow a boy... what a boy look. with his loose clothes and his nail polish and his headphones idk!!! idk!!!! baby!!!!!

okay...anyway

(domino blue felix is actually butting up under this but ultimately, this is my ideal) literally if i could challenge the stylists to a DUEL anytime they even THOUGHT of applying lightener to felix's hair for the rest of the year i WOULD. my ideal is LONG and BROWN/black -- DARK so his freckles POP. his little grunge gender! let me at it!!

i was actually two seconds away from being a seungmin bias during his purple era because it is so deeply compelling to me on a base level. my thoughts and feelings about seungmin are limited pre-2022 skz LA crisis (where he sung JBIEB (EW??) AND RUINED MY Life /pos) but if i have any, they are focused solidly on purple seungmin and what he means to me (bites him in half)

last but not least jeongin!! honestly the blonde is like. life changing. transformative. single-handedly trebuchets him out of the baby infant zone for the barest of moments before he's hurled directly back again (he will escape baby infant zone completely at some point and then i'll be in trouble, so i am actually savoring the fact that he is the opposite of a threat rn). he's top two blonde idols for me, and the other one is jimin. which is an immense scale. anyway. foxy blonde boy ily.

[zannolin]

yaaa writing reflection time 🥰😪😡 -kai

kaiiii hello <3

🥰 a piece i’m really proud of and why

god. so many pieces i've written this year are so dear to my heart. 2022 has been the year of me letting go of worrying about "will this fic do well enough to write?" and choosing to write for the sheer joy of it. there are so many fics i am so proud of—planetarium stickers, without anesthetic, holding on where i am able, left of the dial, i won't run (it's okay now)—which makes it. SO HARD TO PICK ONE.

but in the end despite planetarium stickers maybe being my favorite fic i think i have to go with without anesthetic for several reasons. first because it's one of my Six Must Write Fics. i have a list of six fics i told myself no matter what i must write before or even after i leave the fandom. the fics i think are my greatest ideas and my very favorites, the ones that are dearest to my heart. the fey au in all its glory is one of those. also, it's just damn good writing? like wow i am really happy with basically every line of that fic. there's not a part that i DISlike. it's been in the works in some capacity for over a year and i finally wrote the whole thing and it's NOVEL LENGTH and it KINDA SLAPS! i am very happy with how i managed to handle wilbur not being there for a lot of the fic, and how nobody makes good choices even when they work out, and how phil is a deeply complicated issue that i loved to write, and how techno and quackity snuck their way in and worked out perfectly. it's the best viceduo i've ever written. my favorite phil and techno dynamic. i feel like i got wilbur exactly where i wanted him and i love all the worldbuilding and i think i managed to balance the worldbuilding out with the plot. it has some of my favorite descriptive work and look i HATE plot. but i WROTE PLOT! and i LIKE MY PLOT! massive win for me. also in a fandom chronically suffering from a lack of fey aus that appeal to my specific interests i'm proud of myself for making the content i wanted to see.

😪 a piece that was meant to be short but took on a life of its own

i could be cheap and say without anesthetic for this again because frankly i thought it would be 13k max but this award HAS to go to somewhere in my memory. THAT DAMN FIC. it was supposed to be a short silly christmas oneshot. ITS ALMOST 13K WORDS. what the fuck happened there i spent so many days writing. look at this shit in my writing tracker i wrote the most words in one day this entire year WHILE working on this fic:

😡 a paragraph/section that gave me a lot of trouble

whuf um. in chapter four(? can't be arsed to check) of without anesthetic i wanted to pull my hair out because karl and tommy would Nawt stop talking and then i was like OKAY LETS G- and then tommy and QUACKITY would not stop talking the entire chapter was like watching the inevitable doom approach of your mom meeting someone she knows in the produce aisle and knowing you're going to be stuck in the store for the next two hours you know. it was the worst Ever. i was also really really nervous about writing the end of left of the dial because i was worried people would be annoyed in my comments. they kinda were. i survived though.

ask game.

[fulgursmediaanalysisdrama]

No hate to the creator of this summary

But I love watching videos like this sometimes even though I disagree with most everything

Because it's obviously made by some maybe misogynistic dudebro with clear biases that get into the way of whatever media literacy he has, and dillutes or distorts whatever interesting observations and analysis he makes

Like I'm sorry, you can't just say nothing happens in the books that mostly cover Ciris perspective because they don't cover Geralts perspective much, and then even worse talk at length about all the stuff that happens. Like??? Hahaha

It also reeks of not understanding themes and core messages, something that's pretty apparent from the way he talked about the short stories (though there definitely are issues with them, no way to denie) and for example when he says that the books make a big deal out of Angouleme looking like Ciri but it not mattering. (Because he views Yennefer as Ciris mother more than Geralt as Ciris father)

There's also some factually wrong stuff, mostly inconsequential details like Reiges giving Milva a pill when he made her a potion, but also claiming that Reiges isn't dead because only higher Vampires can kill higher Vampires (nothing like that is ever said, and there's no reason to doubt that the single most powerful individual in Vilgefortz can't kill Reiges when it's textual not even literal that his molten down remains fused together with stone/marble)

Speaking of Vilgefort, he says Geralt gets wounded by him when in other instances he had no issues calling Geralt severely wounded or such. Which obviously is a massive fucking understatement, Geralt gets owned and almost dies. And, again purely textual, Geralt becomes permanently disabled as a result of the magical treatment that saved his life, but also because his hand can't recover full functionality anymore.

Then there's weird stuff like calling him one and also comparing Dandelion to faggots. But near the end of the video making fun of people who listen to right wing talking points too much. And that last one was what truly broke me, I needed to share all of this.

There's so much in here, I can't remember everything, you'll guaranteed find stuff I missed or overheard. This is art to me.

And yeah, dude said stuff like "wow no wonder a story is much more interesting when you follow the main character" when he switches to book 3 I believe. Because he can't stop complaining about Ciri being important in books 2 and 4, or rather getting more page time than Geralt does. Because he just likes Geralt more and it's awesome because something always happens and there's epic action and stuff. (Anyone else things he's horny for Geralt?)

Idk it's a beautiful mess of incompetence and predetermined judgements and I can't even be mad. But saying that CD Project Red wrote better stories with the games than Sapkowski did with the books, something he actually said in the video completely unironically, is pretty fucking wild. Immmagine. Dude doesn't even understand why Sapkowski wrote the book the way he did, any messaging is lost, hates 70% of the story because it doesn't show off how cool his big bad crush Geralt is. It's hilarious

I'll stop, no more

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary64

11/14-15/2023

tuesday-wednesday

almost made cookies.

i've made the dough, though, so it's resting in the fridge for tomorrow. it will be better that way anyways i think. hopefully they will taste good.

otherwise, today i didn't record vocals but i did start work on a new thing, it should be done tomorrow i think, i just want to find a final sort of riff for it. or i guess just put it into midi, i think i wrote something good, but maybe i'd like to use that for another thing instead, who knows. i wouldn't mind a 20 second long pv song. the interview did also come out, but i have some problems, not with the interview, my friend kelly did a great job with that. just with like, how the pictures came out. i don't know why but i look so awful and it's made me spiral, since i'm so stupidly sensitive about that. it just makes me wonder if that's what people actually see when they look at me, if that's how i actually look, or if they really just have been edited terribly. i can't stand it, the pictures of myself i took that day, even the ones that aren't the most flattering, don't make me look that ugly.

look at the pics i took that i'm not super into:

and this last one is especially unflattering imo:

the pics in the interview are like, crazy, i don't know. i can't tell if i don't look like that or not but they feel like they make me look way more like, mannish, and give me way more shadow. is it just an hdr thing, are people's eyes just more forgiving than camera lenses, or do my selfies and these photos just not really capture the whole, like, issue, that is my face. they also make me look fat. that's one i can't explain at all. it's very weird. i literally feel like i look like a different person, and i go look in the mirror and try and see that and can't really. i dunno. i think the guy who took the pictures is like, maybe not great but has a good camera, so he's eligible for taking pictures for a low level thing like this. i can't believe though, that for some reason, this is the article that has the most views on this website. how disturbing. i don't like that people i know are looking at that, and saying, wow that's them (or whatever). it actually really bothers me. i'm sure this is going to be something i am dealing with for a couple weeks. unfortunately i can't talk to my girlfriend about this in any kind of constructive way (is there even a constructive way, though?). she blames herself for me doing the interview, which is wrong for a myriad of reasons, and she i guess feels guilty for getting people to see it, when as i've now seen it, i don't want anyone to see it, the pictures at least. they're literally so fucked up, and since i've either looked like that, or since i've been made to look like that, i don't know if i can trust mirrors or anything/ memories of what i look like (i already don't know if mirrors are trustworthy or not, honestly, the discrepancies between them and cameras wigs me out and i don't know if there's anything there that should actually be wigging me out), but i don't even know if i will ever know what i look like. i've talked about depending very much on outside perspective, having one that now says basically that i'm ugly, or feels like it communicates/presents that, is very troubling. it makes you want to give up, kind of.

give up has an obvious meaning, i think. i also can't post them here, the images, it'd make me freak to look at them more. but i'm leaving the tab open because i know i'm going to have to go check and check and check and make sure that it feels like it's because the images were edited badly and stuff.

whatever, though. i am gonna sleep soon. maybe tomorrow i'll understand better what the focal length did to my face and what makes me feel so ugly for no reason. maybe this will make me do something really good for vocals since i feel distantly hopeless for stupid reasons.

it's intolerable, the feeling that people look at it, and see me in that, it literally feels like out of my hands, i am not myself anymore, it's like a tulpa. i want to puke and cry, it's that bad, really.

listening to palatka right now is nice, for this at least.

anyway tomorrow i still have to export those songs i have re-done vox for, and other stuff. maybe i will write new lyrics for some of these songs that still have none, that would be good. and i guess i can do the song that has lyrics but no vox still. that should be fun. i just need to get everything started earlier tomorrow.

today i also mostly vc'd so it wasn't a waste of a day, not eaten wholly by misery, the vc and the music i did and guitar playing i did feels good. in the vc we just played a silly drawing game, which i was bad at mostly, at first i felt really really stupid, but the stupid feeling went away. i guess i was just too nervous at first i guess. i don't know why. social games like that make me feel like i need to perform or something.

i really wish i intuitively understood guitar stuff better, but i think i'm getting there, i just need to play more, the practice i'm doing i think is very good. playing hardcore feels like a really good thing for me, i dunno. i hope so. i really like it at least. learning the tricks these bands do is really fun for me, even if it's all really stupidly obvious. just ways to move power chords around and make them weird, and then all the crazy stuff with the half step up/down notes i can do, figuring ways to get all that together in a song is really fun. i'm looking forward to that tomorrow i suppose.

anyway, trying to think of more positives in my life so i don't feel like braining myself. obviously i can't, i love my girlfriend too much, i feel bad that she feels bad about this. it really has very little to do with her. she suggested the interview but i said yes, i showed up even though i knew a little before that a guy i wouldn't like was going to be there. i should have expected this too, but i really hoped i wouldn't look so ugly.

but whatever, i will be okay, i think, so,

byebye!!!!

[lonelywhalien22]

I'm so excited for D-DAY! Yoongi is my bias-wrecker in BTS LOL and I'm forever in love with his mindset/lyricism. He has a way of writing things straightforward, but still being comforting (versus Namjoon's very poetic and wise writing style). That's my favorite part too!!! I also liked the reference to IU's 'Eight':

I loved this softer side of 'People Pt 2' and how it reflects Yoongi's growth as an artist and a person! Aaaggghh he's just one of those people that you wish a little extra success for, ya know? Idk - he makes me soft! LOL. All the references to past AUGST D and BTS songs (and maybe even IU's 'Love Poem'???) was tastefully done 🤌🤌🤌 I also really loved seeing him harmonize with IU 😍😍😍 they sounded really good together?! To be frank though . . . I don't quite understand the connection between the original 'People' and 'People Pt 2' yet, but I could also just be thinking too much into it (if you know, help a slow-brained friend out? 😅😂).

OMG OMG OMG NCT Dream concert 😭😭😭 if I had more money I would definitely go again HAHAHA. I think I'm still going through post-concert depression LOL because I woke up kind of down and tired today for no reason 😓

My favorite performance was 'Trigger the Fever' and (surprisingly) 'Saturday Drip'!!! Mark did a little bit of 'Golden Hour' as well so that was fun!!! (Thoughts on this solo song too???) NGL, I had a little bit of Renjun tunnel vision, so I only remember him and bits of Haechan/Mark during 'Trigger the Fever' 😭😂 They looked like they were having so much fun and just feeling themselves, it made me so happy! I'm always a little biased towards rap line performances in Kpop LOL because I just like the hyped vibes. I actually don't listen to 'Saturday Drip' all that much, but the NCT Dream rap line did a really good job with performing it!!!

I'm so sorry with how long this is LOL, but it feels like catching up with an old friend after a minute and I do just really like talking music with you hahaha. Are you going to any other concerts this year other than Ed Sheeran? Happy Tuesday 🤗

@twogyuu don't be sorry about the length of your post because mine is disgustingly long as well. like i'm actually deeply sorry for my word vomit:

Wow that’s a fantastic line from the song you shared as well! Love the sandcastle analogy. And omg the way I missed all the IU song refs…like Love Poem is my fave song from her 💀 (is it obvious i don’t speak korean??? lol 🤣). I love songs where you pick up on something new in the lyrics the more you listen to it! And at the ending when he shared he wrote it during covid like ahhhh I really felt that - It’s been so interesting to me as a music listener to hear works by artists that were made during covid/about covid…I just think it’s fascinating and like this little time capsule/archive of a very specific moment in time where we can see all the different emotions that came from that period and how they were expressed in so many different ways.

Also that is literally such a perfect way to differentiate between Namjoon and Yoongi’s lyrical styles - like you took the feelings right out of my brain and worded them perfectly. Yoongi has always been my favorite of the rap line for that reason. And then jhope is one of those rappers who’s like the vibey rapper if that makes sense??? It’s like his stuff always has this groovy flow to it that’s so distinctly him - I like to think it’s because he’s a dancer too but idk lol.

And girl lol we both need help bc idk what Pt. 2 is referring to either 😭 i’m not one of the kpop lore people, even for the groups I really follow, so I’m always in the comments section learning new things too lol. Heck I barely understand why Set Me Free is a Pt. 2😅 ik bts likes referencing their old music a lot in song titles so I’m just blindly used to that now and don’t question it lol (fellow armys help us with the receipts pls bc I’m useless for this sort of thing lol)

Wow just checked out Trigger the Fever - never heard it since it looks like it was on the very first mini album before I really followed them but omg I love it - it's right up my alley and I love the optimistic vibes and the harmonies they hit are just really pretty to me. Saved on Spotify hehe. idk when they performed it but it sounds like it would be perfect towards the end of the concert when they wanna make the fans all emotional and crap as they start to say goodbye 🥺

Saturday drip is such a great concert choice, I bet the crowd went wild. The super hype songs are always my fav during a concert bc everyone goes crazy and shouts out the iconic parts and it's such a good time!!!

Golden hour wasn’t my vibe BUT i did really like the concept and the mv for some reason. Like it was one of those songs where the mv actually made me vibe with the song more than i would have if i just heard it with no visual. That’s actually one of the things i really love abt kpop in particular - the way they build whole concepts and visual narratives around songs and seeing how it all comes together in the mv…it has definitely opened my ears a lot more if that makes sense and there are so many kpop songs that upon a second listen or bc of something in the mv/choreo/etc. i have come to absolutely love. NCT especially always challenges tf outta me. For ref I am a Sticker enthusiast and I still get crap for that lol but what can I say??? NCT is experimental so i’m always surprised by the songs from them that I wind up liking, and golden hour was memorable if nothing else lol

dont feel bad about reaching out to gush about music!!! normally i don't have any other way to let out my feelings besides watching reaction vids or reading social media comments on my own during comebacks so it's great to have someone to chat with stuff about directly! I really wish I could have seen NCT Dream but the date for my closest city just wasn't the best and I already saw NCT 127 a few months ago with their The Link tour. I was like - I saw Mark recently I don't need to see him again for awhile (LIES) 😭 but Haechan was sick at the time so I didn't get to see him then and I really like him and Renjun ahhh!!! Next time!

You asked about other concerts and BRUH. I can't feel too bad abt missing Dream bc I'm still seeing/have seen so much! Everyone's got that one thing they splurge on and for me it's concerts. Back in 2020, my very first concert was gonna be Map of the Soul with BTS and then…well we all know how that story went 😭😭😭I’m still incredibly sad that I never got to see them all together live before the military service so after that and 2 years of lockdown I was like I have to see as many of my fave acts as I can because you never know when this might be an artist’s last tour for whatever reason. Once i could afford it I started going to as many concerts as I could and haven't looked back. There’s just something about experiencing music live with the artists and other fans around you that just gives me a rush idk i love it!!! Besides Ed (saw ur post and you should totally see him if you can make it work money-wise btw hehe. his tickets are some of the most affordable i've EVER purchased in terms of comparable seats at other concerts <3) I'm also seeing TXT in may WHOOP! And then i managed to get beyonce tickets even though my wallet hated me for awhile after that one ngl. I’m seeing her this one time and that IS IT lol. I heard SM said baekhyun and wayv are gonna have tours so if that’s true i’m gonna try getting tickets for those. I would love to see Ten perform live, he’s one of my faves in all of NCT, and then Baekhyun - I just REALLY need to hear his vocals live lol. Like he could just come out on stage, sing Bambi and then leave, and I’d feel like I’d gotten my money’s worth from that alone 🤣 Hoping to see The Boyz again on tour as well now that Eric is back and doing better but they haven’t announced anything rn. Saw them once but the seats were sooooo bad omg…gotta see them again with a better view because their performances and stage presence are phenomenalllll. I found out about them during Kingdom!

Unfortunately no yoongi for me bc the locations were more limited and I knew it would be a bloodbath lol. Also I still haven't recovered from taylor swift (i truly was one of those peeps in the queue for 8+ hours and still did not get tickets 😭😭😭). next time she tours (please please please let there be a next time istg) i've gotta go.

Not that you asked but since I'm on a roll and can’t shut up - I've seen some other groups in the last year and and hands down, without a doubt, the best for me was Ateez. They are my ult group besides BTS and cannot stress enough omg their stage presence is freaking insaneeeeee. Saw them two nights in a row and have literally no regrets. Best two nights of my life. Came back to my place with voice gone after that second night, ate a post concert meal and passed out in my bed. Was on a high for like a week after and I still miss them lol. Will always try and see them when they’re in my area.

Also recently saw SZA and that was a literal dream. she was amazing and i still have random concert flashbacks every few days.

[boydepartment]

Congratulations on finishing Pizza Parlor and getting 1000 likes!!! ლ⁠(⁠^⁠o⁠^⁠ლ⁠) I discovered Pizza Parlor pretty early on and I wrote my first message that same night. I was really giddy after reading the first few chapters and I'm glad that I discovered this gem of a story. This story will definitely stay with me for a long time. =) I'm sure this is the beginning of many more milestones to come. <3

Sorry for randomly disappearing for a bit, life got real hectic this week, but I'm back now! Also also, this is the 10th sheep anon message! We're in the double digits now! =D I have a whole doc on just drafts of messages on it and bits and pieces of things that I want to write about. The only reason why I haven't included them yet is because these messages would look more like a novel. Apparently, the total word count for all the sheep anon messages excluding this one is 2.8k! Which is crazy because it's like the same length as one of your chapters and I am 100% not a fanfic writer.

Anyways, to answer your question, I don't have a specific TV show because I didn't grow up on cable. Instead, I watched episodes out of order and understood nothing of the plot. I do, however, have many cringy memories of running around on the school playground pretending to be a Pokemon trainer and having imaginary Pokemon fights. Real embarrassing. Another TV show that really stood out was Thomas the Train because my brother was terrified of it. I think it's the uncanny valley of the trains' faces that freaked him out. As the younger sister, I just followed in his footsteps and ran away whenever it played on the TV. I actually don't know the plot of the show at all. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ I don't think I became really obsessed with anything until middle school where I tried to convince my friends into watching Fruits Basket. Kinda embarrassing considering they were not into anime... I'm going to end my ramble here before it gets too long. Have a nice day/night everyone and stay cool or warm depending on where you are! Virtual hugs!

╰⁠(⁠*⁠´⁠︶⁠`⁠*⁠)⁠╯

-🐑

p.s. I haven't asked you a question in a while, what is your favorite Ghibli film? I didn't actually grow up watching movies, so I started by watching Spirited Away in 2020. The last movie I watched was Ride Your Wave and I had to pause halfway through to take a cry break. Like half of my interests in have made me cry, lol. Do you have any recommendations?

Hello sheepie! I am so very happy that you enjoyed Pizza Parlor! It means the world to me that people enjoyed it so much! I am also very glad that my story head enough of an impact to stay with you!

I am sorry about life getting a little crazy on your end! I hope it is getting better day by day! Wow! The 10th sheep anon message! I consider it a privilege to hear from you!! Thank you for taking time out of your day to write to my blog! It makes me feel special!

I absolutely adore Fruits Basket, I also relate to being that odd kid that shows their friends anime! That was me all throughout middle school. I absolutely loved getting lost in fictional worlds, I still do! Also LOL the thomas the train!!

My favorite ghibli film is between From Up on Poppy Hill or Howl's Moving Castle. I am a sucker for a good soundtrack and both of them have a fantastic one! I have seen Ride Your Wave! That movie killed me! I loved it though, I thought the animation was beautiful. When it comes to animated movies in that genre I recommend a couple of them. Obviously, my favorite ghibli films, however I can also recommend a couple other animated movies.

I really enjoyed Weathering with You. I saw it in theatres in 2019 and I went on a date. I used to loathe the movie due to the fact I saw it on a date with a horrible person, however, stays got to watch it with Chan a couple months ago so my perspective has changed a lot about it.

I also really enjoyed The Secret World of Arrietty. I used to watch it with my parents when I was a little girl.

I could list way more animated movies but I tried to keep it in the same type of animation, I could go on for years about my favorite animated movies as a whole lol

This will conclude my message my dear sheepie. I cannot wait to hear from you again! I hope you have a fantastic day/week! <3

[robertagale]

THESE GLASSES ARE WOW WITH ALL CAPS!

I love these sunglasses so much I ordered them twice--they're the most UV-blocking I've ever had, and they're dark--a real plus in the searing desert sun. The brand is WOW, which is a typical name that overseas Amazon sellers think people in the US love, because who couldn't love something that's WOW IN ALL CAPS! Also, as I found out later, it's close to WOOW, a brand I never heard of but is expensive and made in Italy, which of course both equal beyond amazing but then again so is Italian bread except that it's cheap.

So the WOWS fit great, just like the last pair, and they made me look so much cooler than I do in my non-sunglasses mode, but when I put them down, one side flopped on one side which WOW REALLY DROVE ME NUTS. Maybe because I'm a perfectionist or OCD or a Virgo but WOW DO I LIKE THINGS TO BE SYMMETRICAL.

I mean so symmetrical that it obscures common sense like that time I jammed a Q-Tip deep into my right ear just so that it would match the length it went into my left ear only I ended up in a lot of pain and found out later that my right ear canal is smaller than then my left so I was trying to perform the impossible.

Maybe another person would just say hell with it and wear the glasses as they were; their function wasn't compromised and they do what they're supposed to do, but not me. It's my raison d'etre to make sure everything is right in my world because I must control every little thing, it makes me feel safe and I think it will reduce my anxiety and and if I don't I'll go crazy and all the other reasons I learned in decades of dealing with mental health professionals but won't post here because you can just do a Google search for any of this stuff on your own.

So i wrote the company and they asked me to send a picture of the defective glasses and then sent me a new pair. Which was really swell of them but they were sort of tight at the temples but an optician once told me I have sensitive temples but I'm not alone which only marginally made me feel better because I thought, "Shit! One more thing I have that I don't need!" So "sensitive temples" will one day not end up on my resume, because I'm too old for that, but more likely my obit. "Sensitive-templed, anxiety-ridden control freak with OCD, who self-identifies as funny, died today from wearing too-tight glasses." A relative commented, "I told her to take them off, but she said they were fine because one side didn't flop over." Her last word was reported to be "WOW."