#wow this prolly got a little personal!! Killed the vibes a bit! But ppl can reblog ig

[lucienne-thee-librarian]

You know, while the Despair x Edgar Allan Poe thing started mainly because of the Jill Thompson manga-style Season of Mists comics, and because we all like to joke about how Poe's incredibly angsty writing makes the pairing make sense? I think there's a deeper reason I'm unironically touched by the whole Despair and Poe thing - and by the sibling relationship between the Chaos Twins.

Because all jokes aside, the unspoken message at the heart of it that I see? Is "Everyone has value to someone. Everyone has someone who finds them not merely tolerable, but lovable. Everyone has someone who finds beauty in them."

Despair isn't everyone's favorite Endless and honestly, for very understandable reasons. Her realm, her function, isn't pretty or palatable. She's basically just sitting around feeding from people's sadness. She doesn't seem, to many, to contribute much to family meetings.

And yet, she is loved. She is treasured, doted on, by Desire. This is a character who is so often dismissive of others, often manipulative, so rarely shows genuine affection without some kind of game or scheme attached. Yet they seem to truly love their twin sister. They would be nothing without each other. She is always included by them in various schemes if possible. And to various writers and fans, Edgar Allan Poe found inspiration and even something to love, however strange, in her. She doesn't have to be as universally enticing as her twin or as creative as Dream or as obviously warm and lovable as Death or as fascinating and sympathetic as Delirium, to have her twin's whole heart, or even a random mortal poet's. She's good enough to some, as she is, as incomprehensible as it might seem to some.

I know some of us have had moments, or days or months, or even years, where we've felt like the Despair of our friend group or our family or the whole damn world, where we don't see how we contribute anything positive and we wonder how or why anyone would choose to care about us. I've had those moments, sometimes. Whether it's because we have some kind of mental illness or trauma or chronic health conditions to deal with, whatever the reason, I know many people have had times where even if they aren't the literal embodiment of despair, we've kind of felt like her. They may feel in those moments like they suck the joy and life out of everything or just like more trouble than we're worth.

So seeing or writing about someone choosing to love and spend time with even the literal personification of despair and hopelessness - yeah, the jokes are fun but it also kind of makes me feel things. And I wonder if I'm not alone in that.

And it may not be realistic to say that ANYONE is lovable to someone but honestly, sometimes I don't give a shit. Sometimes I need that, especially on those days when I feel afraid of reaching out to old friends because I wouldn't know how to answer the question of "what have you been up to" with anything that doesn't sound boring, or something they won't be interested in.