#wow this might be my shortest

[fredbydawn]

Had an idea that made me sad, enjoy :)

[youkissedareaderinthedark]

Grill the Kid

Synopsis: Y/n is the favorite for Grill the Grid. A few of the 2023 episodes are a reminder why.

young female driver reader x 2023 F1 Grid

A/N: a couple things; team doesn’t really matter here, I’m just using the drivers shown in the videos. i’m also using a challenge from previous years to make it more interesting

Grill the Grid Episode 1: Driver Heights

You walk in to see a tall easel. “Oh, what’s this for?” You ask Rosanna, the host of the games.

“We’ve got a heigh chart and magnets with all the driver’s names on them. And you’ve got to place them in height order in two minutes”

You nod. “I can do that”

“You ready? 3, 2, 1, go”

“Okay, how am I gonna do this?” You say, asking no one in specific.

“Let’s just do this in order I see them- actually, wait” You search for two names specifically, then slap one at the very top, the other at the bottom.

“We’re gonna put Yuki right below my name, he’s not as tall as me, but he’s close”

“Then...um...who’s the next tallest? Estie or Alex?” You look to Rosanna as if she can tell you.

“We’ll do Estie, Alex, then, Stroll, I guess? Lance is pretty tall, he can go right there” You flip through the magnets in your hands, eyebrows furrowed.

“Should we do shortest to tallest then? That might be easier”

“Lando is, of course, a midget and belongs all the way down there” You crouch, placing your friend’s name at the bottom with a grin.

“Who else is short? Fernando and Checo, they’re pretty short. I think Fernando is shorter than Checo, though”

“Umm, Lewis isn’t that tall, oh! Neither is Valtteri, sorry Valtteri. KMag, he’s also not super tall”

“I think from then on, everyone else is kinda similar in height- actually no, Pierre thinks that he’s tall, he’s not”

“Max- is Max tall? He might be, he’s just not tall in my mind. We’ll put him in the middle. Charles, we’ll put him right next to Max” A cheeky smile suddenly comes on to your face.

“Zhou is kinda tall, maybe, but we’ll put him below Charles and Max”

“Oscar? See, again he’s not tall in my mind, but he might actually be tall, so I don’t know. I’ll put him above Zhou but below Charles and Max, that might work”

“Carlos, uh, he can be tall, we’ll put him above right below Charles and Max”

“Oh, Hulk! He’s tall, Nico’s tall, we’ll put him below Alex and in front of Lance”

“Last person is Logan, he’s tall, I think, not that tall though, maybe below Lance” You place the last name on the chart.

“Okay, I’m done, I did great, but you can tell me what you think is wrong, anyways” you say jokingly, smiling at Rosanna.

“So, Y/n, I’m sorry to tell you but you are not the tallest on the grid” Rosanna says in front of you, fake sympathy on her face.

“What do you mean? Of course I am, I tower above everyone, clearly” You gesture to yourself.

“Okay then, well, Yuki is not the second tallest” The woman says as you shake your head.

“Rosie, I don’t know what you see, but Yuki is almost as tall as me” You look up to see her sighing.

“Are you really not going to change it?”

“There’s nothing to change” You smile, shrugging. “Alright then. Esteban is the-“ She pauses, then plays along with your game. “The third tallest” You smile successfully.

“Then in your books, I guess, Alex is the fourth tallest, and George- what did George do to you that made you put him on the bottom?”

“He’s George, that’s enough sometimes” You see Rosanna face palm, then ask again, “You’re not going to change his?”

“Nope” You shake your head. “Okay- moving on, you got Nico and Lance right. Max is actually taller than Logan, then goes Charles- are you not going to change them either?” She exclaims, exhasperated already.

“No” you say simply. She sighs. “So Charles, you got Oscar and Carlos wrong, Oscar is taller than Carlos”

“Really? He’s taller than Carlos? Okay, I’ll move them”

“Pierre goes right below Carlos, then Kevin-” You cut her off. “Actually? Wow, I was wrong”

“Yes, somehow” Rosanna rolls her eyes playfully.“Then comes Zhou, he’s shorter than KMag, then Lewis, he’s taller than Sergio. Checo is taller than Valtteri, then Fernando, and then Lando”

She finishes, refraining from voicing her opinion about yours and Yuki’s heights. “So I got them all right!” You exclaim, grinning. “Sure Y/n, you got them all right”

Grill the Grid Episode 2: Geography

“Alright, here we go” You walk into the studio, greeting Rosanna and everyone else behind the cameras as you go. “What’re we doing today?” You ask, standing on the mark on the floor.

Rosanna smirks, and you know this isn’t going to go well. “Geography”

Your face falls.

“In fifteen seconds”

Your jaw drops.

“Oh my god, I hate this game”

She hands you the clipboard. “You ready?”

“No” You deadpan.

“Okay, 3, 2, 1, go” She ignores you and starts the timer.

And then you’re dotting the paper frantically, your eyes trying to keep up with your hands. “Ten seconds”

“Shut up” you say dryly, but you’re grinning.

“Where’s Monaco?” You mutter.

“Five seconds”

“No”

“Time’s up” she tells you, the alarm going off in front of you.

“Wait” Your eyes quickly scanning the paper. “Okay, I’m done” You look up.

“The timer’s been off for like, ten seconds” Rosanna laughs.

“Oh well”

“Okay, Y/n, show me what you’ve done” You grin, turning the clipboard around to reveal a messily dotted paper.

“Oh my”

“Good, right?”

“It’s certainly something”

“Yeah, something amazing”

“Sure, Y/n. Tell me what it’s supposed to be”

“Okay so, we have Miami, Texas, Las Vegas” You point to the US on the map.

“You’ve got that bit right”

“Then Mexico, and Montreal is somewhere up here” You gesture to Canada. “Not where Mexico City or Montreal are, but I’ll give you the point”

“Australia, Brazil, and the UK”

“Yeah, then what’s the mess on the rest of Europe?” You grin. “There’s Russia, Singapore is like, down here”

“Russia’s right, Singapore isn’t”

You give her a look. “What? You got them wrong!”

“How am I supposed to win if you tell me I get them wrong?”

“Maybe you won’t win then. C’mon-”

You cut her off. “Are you doubting my skills? Fine, I’ll show you. Japan is here-”

“No it’s not”

“This is Italy”

“That one’s right”

“Belgium is here”

“Nope”

“This is the Netherlands”

“Switzerland, actually”

“That’s Bahrain” Rosanna shakes her head. “It’s not”

“Saudia Arabia is here”

“That’s right”

“See, I told you I know my stuff” You tap your head with the marker and grin.

“You’ve got like six wrong”

“That’s Baku”

“Not even close”

“And then there’s Monaco” “You did get that one” You smile proudly.

“Spain”

“Yeah”

“Austria?”

“You were on a streak! Not Austria”

“Hungary”

“You are back to being wrong”

“Qatar”

“Yes, that’s Qatar”

“And Abu Dhabi” You finish.

“And no. Congrats Y/n, you got 14/23 right”

“Yeah, I always get it right”

“I- okay Y/n”

Grill the Grid Episode 3: Youngest to Oldest

“Hi” You sing-song as you walk into the studio and on the mark on the floor.

“Today Y/n, you’re going to put the drivers on the grid in their age order, from the youngest at the top and oldest at the bottom. You have two minutes” Rosanna says, giving you 20 magnets with each driver’s name on them.

“Are you ready?” She asks as you flip through each name.

“Yeah, why not”

“3, 2, 1, go”

“Alright this is gonna be easy. Let’s find oldest and youngest first, so me, I go at the very top, and then... Fernando right here, goes all the way to the bottom” You turn to grin at the camera.

“I believe Oscar is the next youngest, and then Logan? He’s besties with Oscar and that means they’re the same age so yeah, Logan”

You flip through a few more, and suddenly pause.“Um, how old is Zhou? He’s gotta be like, 21? 22? We’ll put him above Logan”

“Then Lando, oh and Yuki, he turned 22 or 23 a few months ago?” You know you’re not getting any answers, you never do, but you ask anyway.

“Or maybe they’re the same age! Yeah, let’s go with that, Lando and Yuki same age”

“Then... Okay, this isn’t easy, who’s next? How old is Charles? I’m gonna say 25 because he’s definitely not 26 and I don’t think anyone is younger than him. So, Charles, I think Pierre because again, they’re besties and that means they’re the same age- or no, Pierre is like, a little older”

“And Max, he’s young, he’s 25 so- oh no”

“Is Pierre older than Max?”

“How old is- Pierre is 26 right? So it goes Chares, Max, then Pierre”

“No because how old is Alex? He’s gotta be like 25 right? He can’t be- how old is George?”

“Oh my god, because see, in my mind, George is like 27 but I know-”

You pause.

“I don't think that’s true so- but how old is Alex?”

“Oh jeez” You cover your face with your hands.

“Alright, let’s do me, Oscar, Logan, Zhou, Lando and Yuki, Alex, Charles, George, Max, Pierre, and then Esteban to top it all off. That makes sense”

“That brings us to like 26-wait! How old is Lance?” You groan and throw your hands up.

“He’s either 24, 25, or 26. We’ll put him in front of Pierre and behind Estie” You look at your work and nod.

“And Carlos! He’s like 27, maybe, so after Esteban, probably”

“Yeah, okay, I think after that no one else is in their twenties, so thirties”

“KMag is 31 I think, Checo is- Checo's on the younger side, 33 or like, 35, I don’t know”

“Bottas is somewhere in between, low thirties I’m gonna say, so after Checo”

“Then Hulk, I think he’s 35 actually, so we’ll put him in front of Valtteri” 

“And then Lewis right under Fernando. Wow, that was easy, I’m so good at this game” You place the last magnet and turn to grin at Rosanna.

“So, you got the first three right, but Yuki is the fourth youngest, then Lando, and then Zhou”

“I was close”

“Then Lance, George, and Charles”

You make a face. “Not so good then”

“Next goes Max, Esteban, and Alex”

“And you got the last seven correct, so you did okay”

“I think I should get extra points for trying though”

“No, Y/n”

(I only did 3 episodes because these were the only ones that I could really make a story out of, so… the end)

[urinarythreatinfection]

Tbh I had this already written. Poll had the shortest time as a day. HELLA warning though, this isn't non or dub con but it IS gorey. I wrote this shit at like 11pm and I was stressed the hell out and kinda pissed. (well the outline of it anyway). I'm a gore enjoyer, not in a weird way I just like the way it's written or drawn i don't like actual gore. Anyway the gore here isn't that bad but there is some so I'll say there is gore as a warning. I also put a small border for the people that don't wanna read the smut since there is some story.

The Cute and Obsessive You

Yandere Shanks x Male reader. Reader matches Shanks's freak. Smut so minors read something else until I write not smut. top male reader. Violence warning. 4,135ish words.

Your boyfriend is very cute, you know that of course, you also know that he gets just a little worried when you’re out of his sight. That’s why when you opened your eyes to an unfamiliar place, tied to a chair, your first thought before worrying for yourself was ‘Oh no, I hope my boyfriend is gonna be okay.’ and you were correct in your worry, because Shanks is not okay.

“(Y/n)!?” Shanks calls out as he searches around for you. “(Y/n)!” He calls out, his heart racing. Where are you? Did you run away? Finally getting tired of him and leaving? How could you do that to him, when he cares about you so so much!? He gave you everything! Something clicks, what if you were gone unwillingly? What if someone took you. Took you from him? “(Y/N)! Sweetie, please come out if you’re somewhere around here!” He’s been searching for a while now, feeling stupid. Of course you wouldn’t leave him, you loved him, but he had thought this island was safe. Shanks had taken his eyes off of you, busy with the townsfolk swarming him. He hadn’t been to this island in a long while so they were excited to see him, and you had told Shanks you were going to explore nearby. Shanks trusted that. Trusted that this island that was friendly to him would be friendly to you, there should’ve been no danger to you. That’s not to mention you weren’t weak either, but people don’t always get what they want by being strong. A pretty looking flower is what it took, you’d been interested in the local flora so you went to check it out. It was only when you took a closer look that you realized it looked unusual, by then it was already too late. The fake flower had let out a gas and knocked you out. Now here you were, in a place unfamiliar to you.

“Hello?” You call out, but there’s no answer. Your weapon has been taken, but they’ve made a mistake, not finding the knife that you keep on you for emergencies. That means you could cut yourself free… but what then? You don’t know where you are and the door is locked, and to be honest.. you’re a little curious. You don’t feel like you’re in any real danger, and Shanks is probably going to find you eventually. The thought of him finding you, desperate to see you with a crazed look, fills you with satisfaction; so you wait. Eventually a woman comes down from the stairs and enters the room holding a long blade.

“Hello.” She greets you. “You’re lucid, good. Do you know why I’m doing this?” You think for a moment, Shanks had said this place was friendly so you’re not sure, but she answers the question for you. “I’ll just answer anyway. I did this because you bother our chief, clinging to him like a leech. You’re not nearly as strong as him or the rest of his crew, I even managed to kidnap you with some fake flower. It’s dangerous for him to have someone by his side, especially someone so weak. He’d be better off without you.” Her words sting a little, she has somewhat of a point. If it weren’t for the fact that it might be impossible to leave Shanks this could’ve even convinced you to.

‘Wow.. my cute and obsessive boyfriend knows some people that act similar to him.’ You think to yourself as she points the knife to your neck, pricking you. ‘Uh oh.’ This got much more dangerous quickly. Meanwhile, Shanks is still searching for you, finally finding flattened grass where it looks like someone was dragged.

‘He didn’t run away!’ Shanks is almost relieved before he realizes you being kidnapped and in danger isn’t much better. He clenches his jaw and quickly follows the flattened grass to a cottage in the woods, entering and looking around. “I don’t have time for this.” He mumbles to himself and decides to destroy everything until he finds you, crashing things to the floor and breaking through walls to find his lover. You hear the sounds above you and try to yell out, but your mouth is quickly covered by the woman. You take a deep breath and instead tip over your own chair and let yourself slam to the ground. The sound alerts Shanks and he looks down, realizing there's a room underneath this cottage. He needs to get to you, that thought sticks to his mind until he breaks a hole into the floor and drops into the room with you and the woman; though there was an entrance he could’ve found had he looked a little longer.

“C-Chief!” The woman stutters, panicked. “You, I-I” She doesn’t know what to say, turning silent when she looks at Shanks and finds someone she doesn’t recognize. Someone unlike the kind person she’s been doing this for. Crazed eyes look from her to your fallen and tied up form.

“Baby, are you okay?” He goes to you, ignoring her.

“I’m alright, just tipped my chair over.” You reassure him and he’s about to sigh in relief when he catches sight of something. Blood on your neck from the prick she had given you earlier. Blood, your blood. His vision quickly goes red and he grabs her, slamming her onto the ground.

“Chief, please let me exp- AAHH!” Her words are interrupted by a scream of pain when he stomps on her arm, shattering it. She starts to cry but it’s too late, he’s seen your injury and the blood you’ve shed is worth more than she could ever be.

“How dare you, how dare you. Mine, You hurt my boyfriend. My boyfriend.” His voice is laced with rage as she cries, screaming as he stomps on her limbs. Hands, arms, legs, it’s not long until they’re reduced to a mess of flesh and bone stuck to her by her skin.

“sorry sorry ‘m sorry it hurts.” She can’t even struggle, having screamed too much already. You stare at this, then try to move out of your restraints. Pain shoots up your leg.

“Ow!” You yelp and Shanks turns to look back at you, anger replaced by worry. “I’m okay! I think I just twisted my ankle a little when I fell.” You explain, feeling a little embarrassed you yelped over such a small injury. He looks back at the woman and she realizes, in her final moments, that you were so much more than she could’ve comprehended. Shanks grabs her by the hair and slams her head into the wall, creating a crater with the impact. What’s left of her head splatters across the concrete, and he drops her crushed corpse to the ground with a thud. He can hear the blood rushing through his ears, only snapping out of it when he hears your voice. “Shanks!” The redhead turns back to you, walking over and crouching down.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I let you out of my sight and doubted you when you were stuck here. This is my fault-” He starts but you interrupt him.

“Shanks you’re very lovely like this but please untie me first.” You ask him and his eyes clear.

“R-Right. Sorry.” He quickly cuts the ropes with his sword and you stand while rubbing your wrists. Once you’re both standing he starts to shake, emotions filling his psyche. Anger for the ones that hurt you, guilt he let this happen, sadness you got hurt, relief you’re still alive. They swim in his head, crowding and messing with his mind. You notice this and pull him into a soft hug

“It’s okay~ It’s okay~” Your fingers run through his red hair, ignoring the blood mixing in. “I’m okay, I’m alive and safe. You didn’t fail me, I’m right here.” He clings to you.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.. I’m so happy you're safe.” He says, burying his face in your shoulder. Shanks still feels guilty, but his emotions calm with you in his grasp. You feel him clutch onto you tighter and you can tell his anger is coming back now that his emotions are more sorted.

“It’s not the townspeople’s fault, honey.” You tell him, sensing his thoughts.

“They let this happen to you.” His voice is cold. This is their fault, they don’t deserve his help or his protection. They don’t even deserve their lives.

“Not all of them could’ve known.” You respond and he doesn’t answer. You sigh and pull him back enough to look into his clouded eyes. “Let's do this, we can go back into town, find out who helped this happen, and you can punish them. Okay?” He stares at you, considering what you said, then nods. “Good, thank you for understanding.” You give him a kiss on the cheek.

You and Shanks walk through the town, ignoring the horrified looks of townspeople seeing him covered in blood. Once you’re to the town square he yells out. “Everyone gather up!” They begin to gather in front of him while the Red Haired crew puts any children inside. They don’t need to see this. Shanks’s eyes scan the crowd until they finally land on a married couple, a wife and husband; they look guilty. Unlike the others who are scared and/or confused they look visibly jittery, as if they’ve done something wrong. What's more, when they meet your eyes they look away, as if from shame. ‘It’s them, they did this, they helped this happen.’ He walks over and stops directly in front of them, staring them down as they start to tremble. “You two have done something.” He says and they flinch. Some townsfolk try to ask Shanks what’s happening but Beckman and the others are smart, quickly leading the rest back inside so they don’t see their chief do this; or get caught in the crossfire. The couple try to deny it at first but eventually the wife breaks and starts to cry.

“Chief I’m sorry, I didn’t know she would go this far. We did this because we were worried about you.” She pleads with him and he stares at her.

“Worry? Worry!? You think your worry for me is enough of an excuse to do this? To harm what’s mine? No no no this isn’t how you’re going to escape responsibility.” Shanks is angry, angry that the town he trusted could do something so deplorable as causing harm to his boyfriend. He looks down at her with disgust and grabs her by the collar of her shirt. “You put your hands, your disgusting hands on my everything while I spent my time entertaining this town.” He moves his hand so it’s wrapped around her neck, gripping it firmly. "Was it amusing seeing me smile with you all, oblivious, while your friend was about to kill the love of my life?" She cries out and tries to struggle but it’s no use, he’s too strong; even as those struggles turn to scratches from his tightening grip, she's unable to make him budge as her vision goes dark.

SNAP

Shanks drops her lifeless body to the ground, red eyes trailing to the husband. He looks at the body of his wife, dead, and tears roll down his cheeks slowly. “Oh gods, please, chief please. I’m sorry.” His pleas are weak and useless as Shanks’s eyes bore into his. This is it, he can’t do anything. Even if he tried to run away he knows it’s futile, he wouldn’t even make it a step. His only hope is you, turning his head to look at you. You meet his eyes and give him a nervous laugh.

“Well it is kinda your fault, right?” You say sheepishly and his hope is gone, looking back to Shanks.

“Don’t look to him for help, you don’t deserve it.” The redhead states coldly and the husband closes his eyes, the world going black as Shanks cuts his head off of his shoulders. It rolls pathetically on the ground, and he stomps on it for good measure. The two previously pleading people full of life now reduced to lumps of soulless flesh. Shanks stares at what’s left of them, emotions still raging. It's unhealthy, you know that. This look of his is dangerous, the proof and symptom of his instability, but to you it's so so beautiful. The eyes of the kind, friendly, and lively red haired captain everyone knows are unlike everything about him. They're obsessive, crazed, uncaring, the light in his irises replaced by the unhealthy darkness you bring out of him. So beautiful.

“Shanks.” You call out and he quickly snaps his head to you, chest heaving with emotion. “You’re so cute like this.” You can’t help it, your crazy yandere boyfriend is so endearing when he’s obsessive like this. His face flushes slightly, caught off guard by the sudden compliment despite the gore around him.

“Really? Cute? N-Now??” He asks, he wouldn’t have been shocked if he turned to see you looking at him with disgust, disappointment, or even fear; but instead you look at him with your cheery and warm expression, nodding.

“Mhm!” You walk over to him and cup his face. “You were worried about me, right? I’m okay now, you saved me and punished the bad guys.” At that his shoulders finally untense, his sanity slowly coming back.

“Of course I was worried, I couldn’t bear the idea of anything happening to you.” Shanks says, letting out a held breath as his expression softens. He leans into your touch and closes his eyes for a moment before opening them to look at you. The brown of his eyes are replaced with red, his pupils dilated. You love it, the unsettling look in his eyes is so nice to see; even when they change back to brown. Like this, the crew in the background see their friendly captain as his yandere self, and his cheerful boyfriend who turned out not normal either. The captain can feel their gazes on him, but it doesn’t matter. All that matters is you, you you you. The you that’s in front of him, touching him, loving him, the you that’s safe.

“Your eyes are creepy like this, y’know.” You say and place a kiss on his forehead, making him sigh in contentment.

“Creepy huh? That’s one way to describe em… Do you like it?” He asks, a bit insecure.

“And if I don’t? What’re you gonna do then?” You respond and Shanks’s heart sinks at the thought of you not liking anything about him. He loves you too much, he wants you to feel the same. He looks into your eyes, trying to gauge how serious you’re being. When he can't tell he speaks with hesitance.

“I’d.. change them.. I don’t want you to dislike any part about me.” Is his respnse. You hum, kissing his cheek.

“Hmm~ How would you change them?” You continue the question and Shanks tries to think through the chaos in his head, almost tempted to say he’d rip them out for you but managing to think more rationally.

“Colored contacts.. or try to appear less obsessive. Tone it down a bit.” He seems a little sullen talking about it, the idea that he would have to change himself for you is bumming him out; even if he would do it. You can tell he's unhappy, letting it go.

“That sounds like a hassle. It’s good I like them then!” You say and a weight is lifted off of his heart, your words always have so much effect on him. “I like everything about my crazy and cute boyfriend.”

“Good, because this crazy and cute boyfriend of yours loves you. A lot.” He speaks with a sigh, wrapping his arm around you to pull you into a tight hug.

“Mhm~ I love you too.” You rub his back as he buries his face into your shoulder and inhales, relishing in your scent.

“I’m so glad you’re okay. I love you. I love you.” He murmurs into your shoulder, muffled by your skin as you soothe him through his love confessions. He doesn’t even notice he’s getting blood on you. "You mean everything to me. You're the light in my darkness, the reason I keep going. I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you, I couldn't bear it. I love you more than anything in the world." His hand moves up to thread through your hair. "I love you so much. Never leave me." His voice is almost pleading at this point.

“Shh.. I’m never gonna leave you. You’re the only one for me, you’re my crazy and cute boyfriend. Look at me.” You tell him and he pulls back enough to look at you. “Hi honey~ I love you~” His expression falters, his heart warming. He’s still affected by what's happened but he’s here looking at you, and that makes everything feel better.

“I love you too.” Shanks kisses your palm. His voice is soft now, but still laced with a possessiveness that makes your own heart feel full “I’m looking at you too and I love you too” So happy, and just from being with you. You run your fingers through his red hair, scratching his scalp lightly, and his eyes close from bliss as he lets out a small content hum. When you use both hands a small shiver runs up his spine from your touch and attention. Can’t help it, too enamored with you.

××××××××××××××

“You’re so adorable.” You say and kiss him, feeling the way he melts into it. So pliable for you, and the slight jolt he gives when you roll your hips against his is satisfying to feel. ‘So reactive too’ you think to yourself as he lets out a small moan, trying to hold in another as you continue. It's to no avail, giving you the chance to slip your tongue into his mouth. Shanks hums, the both of you making out in front of the two corpses of the people Shanks killed for you. Oh and is it all for you, he doesn't even remember them right now. Your hands go to his hips and pick him up, walking a few feet away before laying him gently down onto the grass. He looks up at you, eyes foggy with lust and confusion.

“(Y/n)?” He asks and you wrap his legs around your waist, grinding your dick directly against him, causing him to curse with a moan.

“Sorry, my obsessive boyfriend was too sexy while protecting me.” You say as he pants underneath you, his face flushing. The crew, forgotten, slowly make their leave.

“You think I’m sexy? Even like this?” He asks you, not understanding how you can look at him with such caring lust when he just committed such a vile act. Even if it was for you, he didn’t need to make the deaths as gory as he did.

“Of course! My boyfriend is the cutest and sexiest in the whole world!” You say it as if it’s fact and it sends a shock of happiness and pleasure through Shanks’s body.

“In the world..” He mutters and you nod.

“Yup~” You’re pleased seeing him like this, and your hand goes to slide under his shirt, making him flinch. “The whole world~” Your hand slides up to his chest along with the fabric, showing his bare torso to you as his back arches slightly to follow your touch.

“B-Baby.” He tries to speak but it comes out as a whisper as you run your hand along his chest, stopping at one of his pecs to squeeze. “(Y/N)!” His back arches more and you lovingly circle a finger around his nipple, tapping it with the pad of your finger as he lets out soft gasps. “Fuck...” You’re teasing him, but he’s just too cute not to tease. Alas, you won’t keep him waiting, especially when the captain has been so good for you. You press the pad of your finger onto his nipple and he lets out a breath, your other hand moving to his chest as well as you grope and fondle both of his pecs. He loves it, you can feel it from the way he hardens against you and hear it from the grunts escaping his lips. His chest is nice, big, muscular, reminders of his strength along with the few scars that run along his body. You lean down and kiss one of them before flicking your tongue onto one of his nipples, earning a cuss from above. He grips onto your hair, blood coating your locks as you bite and suck his chest, moving from one pec to another; but never leaving one unattended with the help of your hands. You wonder for a moment if he could cum just from this, but you’ll leave that for another day, taking your mouth off of him with a lewd pop. The sound makes Shanks’s breath shaky. You sit up and look down at him.

‘So beautiful..’ You think to yourself when you see your boyfriend. Covered in the blood of townspeople he slaughtered in your name, eyes cloudy with lust, and shirt lifted up with perked up nipples. “My sexy honey is so sensitive, even when near the corpses of people he’s killed.” You grind against him and he grunts. “Do you care? Should I stop so I can take you somewhere else?” You ask him and Shanks struggles to form a coherent thought, mind clouded by you.

"No.” He starts, his voice shaky. “I don’t care about the bodies, I want you, I need you.” He responds, needy.

“Awweee~” You coo to him and lift his hips up, sliding his pants away enough to expose himself to you. You put your fingers to his mouth and he parts his lips to wet them. “You’re so good for me, my perfect boyfriend~” You praise and he lets out a small happy whimper, his heart racing. He always gets like this when you’re more dominant, sometimes it’s the only way to get him to calm down. Of course, that’s not why you’re doing it right now.

“Hahh.. hahh..” He pants and then gasps when you slip a finger inside him, something about his unstable emotions right now is making him more reactive. Maybe it’s the adrenaline or the relief of knowing you're safe, maybe both.

“I love you Shanks.” You say while putting another inside, relishing in how he squeezes around the digits. “Do you love me too?”

“Yes yes I love you I love you. Please, I need you.” He says, voice strained as you stretch him out.

“Are you sure? I get a little insecure sometimes.” You pull your fingers out and tug down your own bottoms, grabbing your dick to rub the tip around his entrance.

“Fuck.. I-” He’s interrupted by his own long whine as you press into him slowly, his head going foggy until you give him a smooch. “I love you, I love you more than anything, you’re my love- Ah~!” you start to move. “You’re everything to me can’t live without you I love you so much it hurts but feels so goOD~!” You lift his hips up to slam into his prostate, making his eyes roll back as he pants and groans.

“Good boy I love you too, you're doing so good for me~" You praise while bullying his prostate, Shanks’s mind going numb.

“I love you more than anything and everything I love you more than treasures or air or breathing or- ah~! or even myself~! I need you you’re my home and purpose my love and the blood flowing through my veins!” He’s happy, he’s happy you love him and he gets to say everything he wants to without worrying about your disgust. “You’re the reason I get up in the morning and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep-” He rambles as tears prick at his eyes from pleasure “m-my life and my purpose. I want to spend every second with you, I would give up everything for you. I love your voice and your laugh and your skin your hair your fingers and the way you feel i-inside me~!” His back arches, he’s close. “I can’t hold back any- ah~! longer!”

You kiss his neck, sucking marks into the skin. “It’s okay, you don’t have to hold back. Let everything out.” With that, he opens his mouth and lets out a loud keen as he cums.

“You’re all mine you’re m-mine! No- nngh~! one else’s mine mine~!” He rambles absentmindedly as you fuck him through his orgasm, repeating posessive words before you slam into him as much as you can and coat his insides. He whines, aftershocks continuing as your dick throbs inside of him with each burst. Once you've emptied you lean down and nuzzle his cheek affectionately before kissing him.

“You’re right. I’m yours and no one else’s. I’m never gonna leave you, because you’re my boyfriend and I love you.” Your words of confession make his heart feel full. He can’t think about anything other than you, that he’ll never let you go. His legs wrap around you and pull you into another kiss, happy. You’ll clean up in a bit, you’re still in public after all and the townspeople can’t be inside forever; but for you’ll indulge your cute and obsessive honey. Just because you love him so much.

There you have it. As for the Jealous reader x Shanks that's still gonna happen, the poll was just to choose which one I focused on first. I still do whatever by the way, I'm not gonna become smut focused or anything.

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

Requesting sizekink bam hcs because I rarely see them on here and I feel like due to his height feeling bigger than his s/o would get him going 🤷🏼‍♀️

Bam Margera Size Difference HC’s!

Bam Margera X Gn!Reader

Warnings: Suggestive content, height difference, Y/N is implied to be petite

An: Thank you so much for the request!! As a shorter/smaller person myself, I have plenty of experience in this department, and it’s always fun to put my personal experiences in my work :D I’m also on a huge Bam kick atm so feel free to send those requests my way!

Given the fact Bam is one of the shortest members of the Jackass crew (second only to Wee Man), you’d be hard pressed to find him dating anyone drastically shorter than him

Well, that is until he met you,

Now, he also never thought he’d care about that sort of thing, but that was also before he met you.

It started innocent enough with some lighthearted teasing;

Just because you’re dating Bam doesn’t mean you get any respite from his usual bullshit.

Like that time you were over at the castle and your boyfriend popped his head in the kitchen doorways while you were grabbing yourself something to eat,

“Hey, Y/N- I’m gonna go antique Ryan. Can y’grab the the flour real quick?”

Of course, that was the same flour he put on the highest shelf earlier so he could watch you struggle to reach it, standing close behind you with his hands on your hips

Because, in his eyes, it was adorable and hilarious, especially when he offered to ‘Lion King’ you up so you could get it.

Not to mention all the times he’s given into the impulse to throw you over his shoulder and run around carrying you in a fireman’s hold,

“Bam!” Your resistance was only met with hysterical laughter from him and the rest of the guys. “I swear to god, if you don’t put me down-!”

Just before he’d toss you onto whatever nearby soft surface because he also found it hilarious to see you so pissy over something like that.

The moment you found out there was maybe something Bam wasn’t telling you was when you mentioned something about the size difference between you and him,

I mean, it was no Peter Steele Playgirl shoot, but you were just on the cusp where people might stare at the two of you in public and it was kinda getting to you

“What’re you talkin’ about?” Bam shrugged, totally nonchalant, “If anything, that shits hot.”

Wow. You never thought about it like that.

He gestured for you to hold your palm out to compare up against his, “I mean, it’s not even that big of a difference! C’mere-“

Bam’s hand felt warm and intimidatingly wide against your palm- he had at least an entire knuckle on you.

With his previous words in mind, you could kind of see where he was coming from…

The chuckle that reverberated from your boyfriend’s chest led you to believe he was considering comparing his hands to some other parts of you to show off just how tiny you were next to him.

[gumnut-logic]

Lego Volcano (Part 5)

Alexander Sweetapple series | Lego Volcano - Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

It has been some time, and some of this fic has been sitting on my hard drive waiting for attention since May (wow) but tonight I finally started writing more of this. Writing muscles are still a bit rusty, but fortunately I know mostly where this is going. There is more written so hopefully I can post that soon, too.

I also feel that some fo this might be a bit familiar as there have been a lot of WIP Wednesdays since May and I have the vague feeling I posted some of this already, but there is new stuff here as well.

This one continues to be @idontknowreallywhy, @sofasurf, @womble1 and @sailing-on-a-puddle and other wonderful Thunderfam peeps' fault :D

@onereyofstarlight has been her usual amazing self, even rereading this whole thing from the beginning and helping me out with some of her specialities as well :D Thank you so much for your wonderfulness :D

This is Alexander Sweetapple so the fic is m/m. If that isn't your jam, this isn't your bread. Though I will admit, there is very little of that in this bit as Scotty is the one who is having a hard time this time :D

As always, so many thanks to Thunderfam for being the amazing kind fandom it is ::hugs the lot of you::

I hope you enjoy.

-o-o-o-

Being ever so competitive, all the Tracy brothers knew how to get to any part of the villa in the shortest possible time.

Gordon availed himself of that fact the moment John called him.

He had been putting on his swim trunks ready for his morning foray in the pool. Moments later saw him leaping a Lego volcanic island and landing smoothly enough amongst the bricks to slide to Alex’s side.

“What happened?”

Alex had laid Scott in the recovery position. “He has a fever.”

Gordon ran through vitals without thought.

Scott groaned and attempted to shove him away.

“Yo, Scooter, you’re on the floor clocking a temperature somewhere in the hundreds. Give yourself a break.”

His brother mumbled something and tried to roll over and get up.

“Oh, no, you don’t.” Gordon grabbed him as Alex scuttled out of the way. “You are staying put until Grandma gets here.”

As if summoned by her callsign, their grandmother hurried into the room. “Scott, honey, what happened?” She stepped lightly over the Lego scattered across the floor and knelt down beside her grandson.

“I’m’kay, Granma.” Scott pushed himself into a sitting position.

Gordon growled at him, but placed a hand on his back, not convinced he wouldn’t fall over again.

“Looks like you’ve picked up Virgil’s flu, honey.”

Scott swore.

“Gordon, please find us a hoverstretcher.”

And that was how Gordon found himself dragging an obstinate and complaining, cranky big brother up to the infirmary and tucking him into a bed. The protests were of legendary proportions until Grandma brought them to a firm halt.

“I’m fine, Grandma.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I’ve got work to do.”

“You’ve got resting to do.” She switched off the scanner and turned to put it away.

“Gordon, stop fussing!” And yes, his hands were swiped at.

He took a step back. “Fine, oh great Commander, tuck yourself in.”

And there it was, his feverish and ill brother trying to be big brother but running out of resources and struggling to hold himself up. Wet, blue eyes attempting stoicism and failing. Damnit, Scott, why do you do this?!

“International Rescue, we have a situation.” John popped up by the bed.

Oh, for the love of-!

Scott sat up, ramrod straight in the bed. “Go ahead, John.”

“We’ve got a cargo freighter foundering off the Great Barrier Reef.”

Gordon exploded. “What?! How the hell did they even get near it? Those are sanctuary waters!” Goddamnit! The remains of the Great Barrier Reef were a World Heritage Treasure. The Supreme Barrier Reef was an attempt to save the ecological system. What little was left of the actual reef off the coast of Australia was ever so precious. How the hell had they ended up in those waters at all?

John, as usual, was calm, but his expression said everything. “Investigating as we speak.” In other words, both he and Eos were out for blood.

Gordon let out a breath. Damn it was good to have a family to depend on.

“Thunderbird Two and Four responding. Get Alan down here. I need transport.”

“Gordon!”

He turned to his beloved eldest brother who was radiating heat like a blast furnace. “Alan and I have this, Commander. You’re staying in bed.” Moving towards the door, he almost collided with Alex. Stumbling, he gestured with a firm finger at Scott. “Make sure he stays put.”

Gordon tore out of the room at a run.

He had a reef, and possibly a few people, to save.

-o-o-o-

It had all happened so fast.

And Alex had no idea what he should be doing right now. He stood beside the door, not sure what to do with his hands, feet, or any body part really.

From the moment he caught Scott, events had just happened around him. The Tracy family responded smoothly and well-practised and before he knew it, Gordon was out the door, and Alex was left in the infirmary with a weak but literally vibrating Mr Tracy.

Mrs Tracy had looked at her watch and cursed. A firm finger and quiet word with the bed ridden man and she was hurrying out the door as fast as her grandchildren had moments before.

But she did brush her fingertips across Alex’s shoulder as she passed, catching his eyes enough to reinforce Gordon’s wish to keep Mr Tracy where he was.

How the hell was he going to do that?

In the distance, Alex heard the roar of Thunderbird Two as she launched from the Island.

Virgil was not going to be happy.

He let out a breath. That’s where he should be now. Virgil would be clambering out of bed. There was no way he would not respond to that sound.

A rustle of sheets and Mr Tracy was sitting upright again. “Thunderbird Five, give me comms.”

“Negative, Thunderbird One.”

“John-“

“Thunderbird Prime’s orders. You’re on sick leave, One.”

Mr Tracy swore dirty, very much not the calm, cool professional Alex was used to.

“Rest, Scooter. We’ve got this.” And the line cut out.

The man on the bed deflated like a balloon, falling back onto the mattress almost as limp as when Alex had first caught him.

An arm came up over his eyes and a barely discernible whisper crossed his lips. “Goddamnit.”

-o-o-o-

Mr Tracy lay there like that for enough time for Alex to think he had fallen asleep.

Should he leave or go? Both Gordon and Mrs Tracy had asked him to stay…really ‘ordered’ him to stay. But Virgil…

Virgil needed Alex to give him permission to relax. Virgil needed Alex to drag him back to bed to stop his headlong run into work and exhaustion.

Yet Virgil was reportedly the level-headed brother.

Virgil had often described Mr Tracy as the embodiment of his Thunderbird - fast, impatient, determined, and consequently ridiculously prone to working himself into collapse.

In Virgil’s case, it was a pot and kettle situation, but after tonight’s demonstration, Alex had first-hand experience and there was the distinct possibility that Mr Tracy would do exactly what Virgil predicted.

As if the thought was permission, Mr Tracy rolled over in the bed and pushed himself into a sitting position.

Alex blinked. “Do you really want to do that?”

The man jumped, tired eyes latching onto him and widening. “Alex?”

Stepping forward, Alex held up a hand. “I’m sorry, Mr Tracy, Mrs Tracy said you need to stay in bed.”

Those blue eyes blinked once sharply and then again but slower. “There’s a situation.” His words were running into each other.

Alex took another step closer. “Mr Tracy, you need to rest.”

He looked away, mumbling something.

“Mr-“

“Alex, my name is Scott.”

“Sorry, sir.”

That drew those eyes back to him, if only for them to roll as Mr Tracy let himself fall back onto the bed. “Augh, Alex.”

“Sorry, s-“

The man grunted.

“-cott.”

A more positive grunt and he shifted on the bed, pulling the covers over himself before fixing his eyes once again on Alex.

Those eyes had so much power.

“So, Grandma has you sitting guard.” It wasn’t a question, more of a challenge.

Alex straightened his spine. “I guess so.”

There was steel in that tired blue, but Alex held on.

Just long enough for Mr Tracy to sigh and relax back into the bed and close his eyes. “Fine.”

There was silence after that. If Alex was working for any other employer than the Tracys, he might have been afraid that he was throwing away his career future.

He wasn’t.

The silence stretched on and Alex resisted the urge to fidget. But then a soft snore wafted up from the bed.

It was followed by another.

Oh, thank god.

Alex wilted where he stood, suddenly aware of exactly how early in the morning it was. A chair beside the bed beckoned, so Alex edged over as silently as possible and curled up.

He watched the bed covers move evenly up and down as Scott slept.

Up and down.

In and out.

Up and…down.

His eyes dropped closed.

-o-o-o-

Next

[otaku553]

kk wow you went so much more in depth than i thought but that was awesome. sending another but pls take all the time you need to answer this one.

i don't think i realized you had a colored version of two of them til today because i was going off of the sketches you posted at the start of the month. the one that caught my eye in that and who i have a different perspective of now that i've seen full color is the shortest hero. you mentioned that the clothing didn't come from any one culture, but if you have an answer it would be cool to hear: what's the long cloth hanging off of the waist belt of this hero called? or, if it's part of the belt, what's the name of the full thing?

[ also a more in-universe follow-up: am very curious about the symbols all four have on their clothing and what your thought process was behind each. i'll settle for the shortest hero's butterfly-esque symbol if you just wanna do one (: ]

Thanks for sending another ask!! This is probably going to get quite long again!

So first, to answer the question, there’s actually not a very easy answer for what that long cloth is called! It shows up quite often in fantasy outfits and armor of knights, and you might sometimes find it being called a tabard or a surcoat online. Really though, it’s closer to something called a monastic scapular, which is a western Christian garment that hangs over the shoulders and goes down to the knees.

The tabard is usually some form of light tunic or jacket worn over chainmail and underneath armor, and I think in fantasy armor the stylization of it as longer and thinner towards the bottom eventually turned it into a pretty common thing? But the point is that it’s usually attached to something hanging from the shoulders and not just from the belt. But having something hanging in front of the crotch from the belt does have some precedence in the Roman pteruges, so this might be where that kind of belt fabric came from.

So in the hero of yore designs, the pieces of fabric hanging from the belts aren’t actually very historically accurate, and follow more the trends of fantasy outfit design. But mostly they act as a sort of conisistent point between all the heroes that shows each hero’s insignia. This sort of hanging centerpiece of fabric has been a pretty consistent part of my designs for a really long time, though in my previous Kirby designs this mostly took the form of some part of a double breasted coat, like so:

But yeah! On another note, while the hero of dark’s outfit isn’t based on any specific culture, the hero of soul’s (the butterfly hero) outfit definitely is based on Japanese clothing! The very long sleeves are based on furisode, but there are some liberties I took with the whole design as a whole, I.e. the pants are based on hakama in construction and shape but don’t actually have all the pleats a hakama should, and have added slits for style. You generally also wouldn’t wear hakama with fancy long kimono I think, nor would you use a tasuki with it. Tasuki are generally used to keep the sleeves out of the way while doing activities, while long sleeves are more ceremonial and decorative. I did intentionally keep the sleeves very long on the design, however, for character reasons that I might go more in depth in if I ever make an individual outfit breakdown post.

I’m sorry I didn’t get around to answering about the symbols! I also have a lot of thoughts about them, so I might also make a separate post about that haha

[cinemaocd]

My Revised Ranking of Every David Lean Film

based on how gay they are

Lawrence of Arabia: the reigning champ, the queen of the desert, the only certified canon, 100% gay film in the Lean filmography. Lawrence of Ali are married. There are lots of other romantic subplots as well...

A Passage to India: would it have been gayer, had Merchant & Ivory made it? Yes. It's still, and I can't stress this enough, INCREDIBLY gay...I mean where shall we begin with Aziz and Fielding. They have a meet cute (Fielding is in the shower! Aziz stops by), whenever they talk one of them is usually sitting on a bed, they have a David Lean Train Station Good-bye which is pretty much the gayest thing you can put in a movie and some classic tropes like Fielding covering Aziz as he sleeps, I mean...yeah. Wow. Great movie and I'm in love with Victor Banerjee now so there's that.

Great Expectations: I put this a lot lower on the last list and then people came out of the woodwork to tell me how wrong I was and then started dropping receipts...so I guess I'm willing to admit when I make mistakes. Alec Guinness used his character name from this film, Herbert Pocket, when he was arrested for a homosexual act.

Bridge on the River Kwai: after a rewatch I placed this much higher on the list than last time. There was a lot of stuff I'd forgotten about but especially this scene...

Brief Encounter: yeah it’s practically the template for hetero longing but it was written by a gay man and that checks out: gay men have more longing in their pinky than most people have in their whole body.

Blithe Spirit: Noel Coward again. Witty drawing room comedy where everyone is smashed out of their minds and everyone has slept with everyone…how is this not just gay culture?

Dr. Zhivago: this film is only gay if one day on the 34th viewing your friend goes: wow Julie Christie looks a lot like Peter O'Toole. And then you can’t unsee it and it’s just Lawrence 2: This time they’re in Russia.

Hobson’s Choice: the presence of Laughton alone ups the anti on the queerness of this film. Then there’s the romantic hero of the film. His name is Willie…and he is… just very submissive. Something something metaphor for cock shaming and there’s probably a thesis to be done out of a queer reading of this film.

Summertime: pretend Rosanno Brazzi is a butch lesbian and this is Carol but they fuck and no one dies.

Ryan's Daughter: Lawrence of Arabia screenwriter, Robert Bolt penned this adaptation of Madame Bovary set in Ireland after the Easter Rising. The schoolteacher is played by Robert Mitchum, rather drastically against type after his Max Cady adventures. Charles O'Shaunessy is a very gay coded character who presses flowers and has a hard time fucking his very hot young wife. Nothing to see here...

The Passionate Friends: the addition of Claude Rains to any cast automatically add a bonus 10 Queer points.

Madelaine: I dunno, a women-centered noir with Psychosexual Themes is usually pretty queer.

The Sound Barrier: Lean's shortest film probably took me the longest time to get through....Even Ralph Richardson can not save this one for me. Similar to The Dam Busters and Spit Fire, but without the press of a hot war to up the tension. It's merely a race against the Americans to go a bit faster. I know scientifically it was a big deal, but the stakes are lower and Ralph plays another mean, cold dad character. :( Also, maybe some gayness between the pilots but I couldn't tell them apart well enough so it might have just been onanism...

[wolfcroissant]

Wriothesley Headcannons (Best friends to lovers) (any gender reader) PART 3

In celebration of the upcoming winter solstice, your school is hosting a school-wide dance. A prom, you could say.. Every student is asked to bring a date of their choice and to celebrate and enjoy the shortest day of the year! (I got this idea from chinese culture because I'm half chinese. We celebrate winter solstice as a way of gathering family before chines New year!)

You being your usual gorgeous self (slayed), had a infinitesimal large amount of suitors asking you out. Of course, you were flattered. You had even had to empty out parts of your closet for the amount of gifts people had got you in hopes you'd accept their hand.

(Let's set the scene) It's the week before the dance, and you are with Wriothesley, relaxing together on his bed, bonding like usual. Your toying with a confession letter from one of your suitors. You've been trying to ignore Wriothesley's unusually intense gaze on your hands for the past few minutes.

"Y/N, who could've caught your eyes for you to reject everyone from your large pool of....suitors" drawled Wriothesley.

You leaned your tired head on Wriothesley's comfortably large shoulders (best pillow), sighing "My gut keeps telling me that I haven't found the person I want yet".

"At this point you might as well go to the dance with me" teased Wriothesley, his stupidly deep and attractive(!!!) voice quietly flowing into your ears.

(Oh dear) you could help but freeze in shock at his words, a fiery blush working its way up to your face. In this moment you met his gaze, and he looked the most handsome he has ever looked. Ice- blue eyes blazing, his strong body right beside you, his calloused yet gentle hands on your hands.

"Oh, Wriothesley, your such a trickster!" You tried to laugh off the rapid beating of your heart, but your half-assed attempt to hide your attraction hasn't gone unnoticed by Wriothesley.

"Oh? Dear Y/N, why so nervous? After all, we are just "friends" aren't we?" He chuckled.

Your mouth goes dry as your heart races. Suddenly, your brain cells started vibrating and working as hard as they can to compute an answer. You then realized it. YOU. LIKED. WRIOTHESLEY. YOUR BEST FRIEND???? (OMG CONFESSION TIME???)

"Well, I wouldn't be opposed to going to the dance with you. You're the only male suitable in this entire school" you tried to ask nonchalantly, bit that was difficult due to you being a blushing mess.

Wriothesley suddenly gets up from his bed and you can't help but notice how fucking hot he looks in a tuxedo(that's y'all school uniform ;]). "May I offer you a hand, and a heart, Y/N?" He proclaimed softly, only for you to hear.

You can't help yourself anymore "Wriothesley, I don't want you like a best friend. I want to be more with you. I want to see you everyday and have my day light up. I want to spend everyday and every moment with you." You confessed passionately.

You close your eyes in nervousness and open them up to see Wriothesley's shocked face.

"Oh, wow, I mean. I knew you liked me, I just didn't expect you to be so...bold. so unlike you....I like it~"

You got up and bowed to Wriothesley dramatically, before speaking "You may have my hand and my heart, Sir Wriothesley. I'll gladly go to the dance with you" you spoke in a cheeky tone. You could help but smile as you saw his eyes light up like a thousand suns.

PART 4? (Some mildly spicy or fluffy parts coming possibly???)

[stusbunker]

Spotless: Eco

Chapter Eleven

Featuring: Dean Winchester/Reader, Dean/Bela

Other characters: Bobby, Bela, Dick Roman and Kobe Bryant mentioned (look, he wasn't supposed to be here but I did my research and well, he had to be), Anael, faceless paps

Word Count: 1683 with pictures

Warnings, etc: Mutual pining, tour planning, brunch and shopping with Bela, unbeta'd

Series Masterlist

“Okay, well the official schedule from the touring company arrived, so I have maybe a week to set up the promo interviews before they announce it publicly,” you said over the phone.

“Yeah, with Crowley it’s probably gonna be sooner. Annie’s gotta find someone to step in for the whole year with this so she’s already interviewing. Let me know if you need anything, because I’m just sitting on my hands until we’re actually rolling out,” Bobby replied solemnly.

The give me something to do, please, was implied.

“Check with Benny and his boys, I know the label is supplying some guys too, but I trust you to secure the crew and security schedules,” you said as you made another note on your ever increasing list of to do’s.

Two months may have seemed like a long time, but it was the shortest turn around you’d had for a tour since taking over as publicist for Phantom Traveler and you’d be damned if you fucked it up.

“With the holidays coming up, we’ll be in a pinch to get everything nailed down. But all the commotion with Bela and everything, people will be chomping at the bit to get actual news,” you added, staring unfocused at your computer monitor.

“And he’s got that interview coming up you said, just Dean for that one?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah,” you sighed. “I really hope Meg doesn’t eat him alive. But it’s his chance to give his side of things and for people to see where his head is at now.”

“The sassy little brunette, right?”

“The very one.”

“Is it going to be a tit-for-tat thing? Is Cas gonna be next for a tell-all?”

“Bobby, I don’t think Cas would do an interview and talk bad about Dean even if they paid him. He’s moved on.”

“If you say so, Dean didn’t exactly play nice.”

“He must have had hundreds of offers for the dirt since leaving the band. And everything I hear about him now is just about the kid he’s working with and how they’re creating something unique.”

“I just know how that reporter liked him— the last time.”

“I’m sure she’s going in with the bias against Dean here. Time will tell if she can be swayed,” you admitted. “Plus, Dean won't be alone. We made sure there'll be a few of us there to make it easier.”

“To keep him from making a damned fool of himself you mean.”

“Basically.”

Bobby sat on the other end of the line with his gruff silence before continuing, “you going home for Christmas?”

“Yeah, got the usual stuff with my folks for Christmas Eve then I’m helping Ellen on Christmas day. I’m flying so I won’t be gone more than a few days. Probably end up spending half of it at airports with my luck.”

“Okay, just checkin’.”

“You guys have any plans?”

“Just service on the night before and maybe something with Annie’s cousins. Might just be a train of open houses.”

“Wow, I’m impressed.”

“Hey, I didn’t say I’d enjoy myself.”

You laughed and wrapped it up with a promise to touch base before you left town. The next two days were a whirlwind of emails and phone calls. You put off confirming brunch with Bela for Sunday, but relented from guilt, as she now had regular visits from paparazzi outside her townhouse due to her and Dean’s night club-hopping. You finished up your Saturday errands and plopped yourself onto your stationary bike in a last ditch effort to fend off your restlessness until it was a reasonable enough time to crash.

God, your life was so exciting.

Bela poured you another glass from the endless pitcher of mimosas. “Anyway, I guess Dean got us tickets to the Lakers’ game tomorrow night, like I actually care about baseball.”

“Basketball,” you corrected, taking a sip.

“Exactly,” Bela smirked.

“How good are the tickets? He doesn’t really follow it either,” you continued, worried they’d be in an embarrassing section.

“I think he said something about getting the label’s box for the game?” She tried to play innocent.

You almost spit out your drink. “The entire box?”

“It’s not floor seats’ exposure, but it will be worth it at least. I think he said he called in a favor with Dick?”

“Dick Roman is giving Dean access to his exclusive luxury box at the Staples Center?” You were floored, you opened your phone and googled who they were playing. “Holy fuck, they’re retiring Kobe’s number tomorrow. It’s going to be insane. There’s no way that box isn’t gonna be packed, but at least you can bump elbows with the uppity ups.”

“Kobe Bryant, yeah? He was quite prolific,” Bela seemed pleased. 

“Uh, yeah, played his whole career here,” you added, but put your phone away. Unwilling to text Dean a ‘wtf’ text while you still had another hour of drinks and foodstuffs to get through. “What are you going to wear?”

Bela slid her most compelling face on. “I was hoping we could find something together. It’s been ages since we drunk shopped. Plus, it’s the holidays so I will need to be a bit tipsy if I want to deal with the crowds.”

You had literally nothing left to buy for Christmas, but drunk shopping was a time-honored tradition between the two of you. Plus, it was fun watching Bela work her magic and pull a stunning outfit together out of seemingly discordant pieces.

“Three stores and I’m getting my own ride home, missy,” you warned with a firm pointer finger.

“Of course!” Bela chuckled and tucked into her eggs, eyes flitting back to you with conspiratorial delight.

You finished off your mimosa and finally saw to your french toast.

Bela’s driver took you to all of her favorite haunts and naturally she weaseled her way in to see the best stylists, at least those who were actually on hand on the Sunday afternoon before Christmas. At Sister Jo’s boutique, the owner herself greeted Bela with a double cheek kiss and hug. 

“What are you doing here? Wait, don’t tell me, you need an outfit asap because your little rocker boy toy needs arm candy,” the woman, who was actually named Anael, teased.

“You know me too well,” Bela replied. “This is my dear friend, Y/N, and we’re a bit on the tilt from brunch, but I simply had to come see you. I need something casual and sexy. It’s for a basketball game.”

You waved as she nodded in your direction, not wanting to break the momentum.

Anael frowned and looked Bela over, with much consideration. Then she hummed before asking, “how do you feel about hats?”

Nearly two hours and a top off on champagne later (to keep your buzzes going), you and Bela walked out of the shop with a bag each and a receipt ensuring Bela would be back in the morning for the alterations on the remaining garments.  

“Well, I’d say that was a successful outing,” Bela said with pride, the pink in her cheeks the only hint of her lingering inebriation.

“I’d say,” you agreed, opening the back door of her pre-ordered ride. “I still can’t believe they had something that would work for me for New Year’s.”

Bela waited on the curb until she could slide in the other side, but continued your trail of thought. “Anael is good people, if she likes something, she carries it. Doesn’t matter the size or price, she is all about how an outfit makes you feel,” Bela explained.

“Well, it worked, because I just spent more on myself than I have the entire year because of how good it felt on, so I get it,” you said, patting the bag at your feet.

Bela confirmed your address with the driver and then hers, thanking them for going out of their way in a way that she wasn’t actually apologizing for being a burden.

“You got eyes on you lady,” the driver warned, pointing towards the corner where a camera lens was trained on the car.

“Ignore them, they’ll find someone else before they follow us very far,” Bela promised and you could see her almost glaring at the rearview mirror for the driver to get the lead out.

You sat on the couch in your robe and sleep pants, hair still wet and wrapped on top of your head. You had crashed for a late afternoon nap after shopping and had rebounded with a blissfully long shower and skincare treatment. Now you watched mind numbing television and plotted out your schedule for the coming week. Even though it was cut short with holiday travels, it was full-to-bursting with things to get done.

You sighed and dragged out your suitcase from under your bed, dropped it on the couch and unzipped it to start packing. At least you could watch something while you organized. 

Just after ten your phone buzzed with a text message. You ignored it for a minute until you could find the remote beneath your pile of socks and paused your Lord of the Rings rewatch.

You stared at the conversation with the movie still paused, dumbfounded. One, that Dean sent you a goodnight text of all things and secondly that he was going to willingly give Bela his phone to post on social media about them. Because it’s not official until they’re both posting each other, or so they say. This was going to be big for the fan girls. You already knew Becky would be emailing you the second she saw it. But as far as fanclub presidents went, she wasn’t the worst. Then again, she would be more than a little bitter if Sam and Madison were the ones flaunting their relationship.

You put a reminder in your calendar to cover an extra sweep of SM while you were waiting out Dean’s interview Tuesday morning and then you tossed your phone back amongst your clothes. You were done for the night and so you shoved your half-packed suitcase on the floor and restarted the movie.

Tagging:

@deans-spinster-witch

@mrswhozeewhatsis

@cosicas-cuquis

@fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like

@suckitands33

@ladysparkles78

@deans-baby-momma

@stoneyggirl2

@sassy-pelican

@leigh70

@globetrotter28

@winharry

@lastactiontricia

@rockhoochie

Chapter Twelve: Hook

[wottimpie]

I love ur Breakdown design what are ur head-canons for him??

omg wow thank you!! I have lots of different breakdown’s for different continuities but some ideas remain consistent, for this post i’ll focus on the version of breakdown from my swipedown post: (TW for drug abuse/implied abuse)

- He and the Stunticons are all brothers, with the order of their ages going Moma, Dead End, Breakdown, Drag Strip, and Wylee

- Out of all his siblings he’s the closest to Motormaster, and Motormaster tends to go a little easier on him (though it isn’t saying much)

- He has epilepsy

- He’s the second shortest of the stuntis (after Wildrider)

- He’s Menasor’s voice of reason to an extent, but the rest of the gestalt take it as anxious ramblings

- His military strategy is to play it safe, and while it doesn’t always work in his favor, the stunticons would benefit from a little hesitant before booking it towards the autobots

- He has a tooth gap bc of a fight he got in as a kid, his teeth shifted but they never fully closed, resulting in it

- Megatron is his father (whether by blood or a sense of duty depends)

- He is frequently ignored by both his father and his brothers. His quietness and anxiety tend to make him disappear, or annoy the others to a point of being pushed away. It’s only when he lets his anger out by causing a scene or smashing some bots does he get praised or disciplined

- He is relentlessly bullied by Drag Strip, whether for his looks, his anxiety, his constant worming up moma’s aft, anything really

- As much as he loves Sideswipe, Sunstreaker is more of a match for him in terms of a relationship. Sideswipe is a little too hectic and rowdy for his anxiety, whereas Sunstreaker’s bluntness and cruelty is more grounding for him, as it gives him a sense of comfort (though sunny does have a real soft spot for him, maybe even more so than sun’s own soft spot for his brother)

- Megatron had him on some anti anxiety pills for a while, and while it increased his efficiency on the battlefield, his paranoia and fear became ten times worse during downtime (this was the start of the turn of events that led him to join the autobots leave the decepticons

- he’s NOT an autobot (he thinks?)

- despite this, he still works as an autobot archivist/librarian, though his specialty is decepticon history

this is just the tip of the iceberg really! if this gets some traction i might go into more headcanons for Breaks and his other continuities, or even the stuntis and other characters (i would love to share the stuntis tbh) - thank you for reading!

[panda-writes-kpop]

A/N: Happy Halloween!! I'm spending my day in classes and then doing homework afterward 🥲 but at least I'll get to dress up and be comfortable for one of my favorite holidays of the year! 💖

TW: Physical and emotional bullying, specifics about reader's talents and background are given, kinda sad but kinda happy(?)

Acknowledgments: Inspired by the Wednesday Netflix show (yes, I've been holding this fic for a WHILE it was too perfect for Halloween), and the following works by my friends inspired the universe and its characters: @kingmaker-a Ecdysis, You're A Keeper, and Logistics of a Cat; @foolish-sparrow Felix Votum; and @sanccharine mishaps gone right series, and @neon-city-dreams for being awesome <3

Summary: Your bad relationship with your peers causes you to come face-to-face with one of the most brilliant Ravenclaws, Dami. You're afraid that she's just as judgmental as the rest, but through time, she proves to be one of the most important people in your life.

♡ Masterlist ♡

"Hey, give it back!"

You tried reasoning with the young Slytherin members, but nothing worked. Perhaps being more strict would do the job?

The eldest boy sticks his tongue out at you as he tosses your art notebook to the shorter, younger boy.

"Let's see what kind of weird things the muggle writes in here."

You wince as he starts to flip through the book. After going through a few pages, he laughs before pointing at a drawing of yours.

"Wow, you really are obsessed with that Lee Dami girl, huh? You wouldn't mind if I told her that on your behalf, right?"

The youngest boy runs into the Great Hall as the oldest laughs like a wild maniac. You nervously bite your lip before running after the shortest boy.

"Yeah, go get 'em, squirt!" The eldest boy teases as your legs fail to carry you remotely close to the young boy.

He stops at the Ravenclaw table, right where Dami is seated. You try to, as calmly as you can after running what feels like an Olympic marathon, approach the table and remain calm.

"Hey, Dami, you wanna see something neat?"

You cringe as the boy hands her the notebook. She carefully handles the notebook before looking up at the boy.

"Is this yours? Why are you handing it to me?"

"No, it's theirs." The boy points over his shoulder at you, and you do your best to calmly wave as you try to tame the wild beast that is your rapidly beating heart.

"Then why do I have it?" Dami nonchalantly asks, and a few Ravenclaws around her giggle at the boy in front of you.

His ears turn red as he huffs and slightly turns toward you. You brace for impact as he storms towards you, but you're surprised when he puts on a brave smile and harshly wraps an arm around you.

"Tell her this is one big misunderstanding and that she can look through the notebook, alright," The boy loudly says before leaning closer to you, "otherwise I'll make the rest of your stay at Hogwarts a living hell."

You nervously laugh before slapping the boy's back as friendly as you can appear to be.

"Of course she can look through it!" You say through gritted teeth, and the boy shoots you a deadly glare before you push yourself away from him. 

Dami looks at you for confirmation, and you feel your face heat up as you nod at her.

You start mentally planning your funeral as soon as Dami touches the cover. You might as well make plans to move to Africa, where no one knows who you are or what your face looks like.

Perhaps that wouldn't be the best idea since you weren't the most multilingual person, so America would be a better fit, right? You could send an owl to your parents, and they'd figure out the details for you! That'd be great because the Wizarding school there is just as good as Hogwarts, plus you'll never have to face Dami again after she ultimately rejects you because what reasonable person would want a loser like you who can't actually verbalize their feelings and instead draws them from every possible angle and OH MY GOD SHE THINKS YOU ARE A STALKER YOU NEED TO VACATE THE AREA IMMEDIATELY WHAT ARE YOU DOING-

"I-"

Dami pauses after she closes the back of the book. You say a prayer to as many deities and saints that you know as you hope that she'll reject you kindly and you can instead live out your days at Hogwarts in shame without having to move to another country.

She looks up at you before a prominent pink blush settles on her cheeks. She clears her throat before readjusting her glasses as your tormentor closes in on Dami.

"So, what did you think? That art is so stalker-ish and lame, right? You'd never want to be with someone like that, huh."

He triumphantly folds his arms as Dami's sweet, deep voice hits your ears.

"I think it's sweet."

"What?" The boy says in utter shock as his eyes are nearly about to widen past their capabilities.

"What?" You softly repeat as you feel lightheaded.

No, she was supposed to reject you and laugh at you, right? When was this a part of the horrid fantasy that you created 30 seconds ago?

More importantly, when did the room start spinning?

The last thing you remember was Dami calling out your name as you felt your body being tugged towards the floor.

~

Although your confession wasn’t anything like your dreams, it managed to land you in Dami’s favor, and now you’re on a date with the girl who you’ve been endlessly doodling in your notebook.

This moment, you decided, was one of two things.

Option A.) A cruel joke by the universe, in which one of your peers would jump out of a nearby bush with one of those muggle recording devices, and your life would return back to normalcy.

Or Option B.) You’re somehow dreaming still, and you probably need to see the headmistress because dozing off like this isn’t good for your health or your grades, and you know what your mother will say when your grades start to slip-

“Hey, are you alright? You’ve been staring off in the distance for a while…”

Dami calmly observes you as you nervously shift on the picnic blanket.

“I’m okay… I think.”

You mentally scold yourself before nervously playing with a strand of your hair. Dami sweetly laughs before placing a hand on your shoulder. That part of your body heats up, and your internal body temperature rises about 5 degrees as you feel yourself start to sweat.

What a pair the two of you were.

The brilliant scholar, the one who was a prodigy at everything she tried. The radiant Ravenclaw who managed to excel in every subject and charmed her peers and professors along the way.

And then there was you, the tortured artist. The mockery of your peers was a constant negative force in your life, and you always had your head in a sketchbook or notebook.

She was the strong sunshine, constant and unwavering, and you were a waning moon, ready to disappear to make room for something greater.

Yeah, this was definitely a pity date.

“Are you sure you’re feeling well-”

Dami’s ever-so-gentle with you, as if every last word would break your body like a glass figurine shattering when it hits the floor. You’re scared, sure, but you’re not that much of a wimp, right?

“Dami, I-” You pause to chew on your lip before gently reaching for her. “I really like you, and I’m scared of ruining this date because I think that you think that I’m a freak, just like everyone else does!”

You slap your hand over your mouth as Dami begins to rub your back. You bow your head in shame as you feel her free hand touch your extended hand.

“I don’t think you’re anything like the other kids say you are. That’s why I wanted to come out here with you. I want to find out who you truly are,” She offers you a warm smile as you dare to look up at her, “and if it makes any difference, I really like you too.”

“You do?” A sea of hopefulness floats into your voice as you tentatively smile.

“I do.”

Your eyes widen, and you let go of her hand before wrapping both arms around her. Dami looks startled for a moment before she laughs and wraps her arms around you.

Maybe this year would be different, just like your mother had said.

~

“Do you have the notes for Potions?”

“You weren’t paying attention?” Dami teasingly asks Lia before sorting through the books in her arms. “Color me surprised.”

“Don’t give me the third degree. Ryujin already did that.” Lia scoffs as Dami hands her a few sheets of paper from a book.

“Ryujin sleeps in class almost every day.”

“That’s what I said!” Lia exclaims before quickly looking at Dami’s notes. “My god, you really do take detailed notes.”

“I do my best work in class.” Dami shrugs before looking out at the courtyard. “Do you have Potions today?”

“Unfortunately, yes, but I-” Lia pauses when Dami sticks her arm out in front of both of them. “What is it?”

“Hold my things.” Dami hands her books to a skeptical Lia, who sends Dami a quizzical look until she looks out into the courtyard.

“Oh shit, that’s-”

“Uh-huh.” Dami pulls up her sleeves before grabbing her wand. “That’s why I’m going to interfere.”

“Before they hurt someone?”

“Before someone else jumps in.” Dami corrects as Lia’s eyes widen.

“Are you referring to SuA and Siyeon?”

“Who else would I be referring to?” Dami sighs before walking away. “Make sure nobody tries to jump in, alright? I need to handle this myself.”

“To prove that you’re a good girlfriend?” Lia jokes as Dami walks towards the scene in the courtyard.

“Funny, Lia.” Dami mumbles as she approaches the scene unfolding in front of her.

~

When you were younger, the teasing and bullying from your peers would bother you to no end. You’d sob in the arms of your friends and Dami every time they decided to mess with you.

Now? They were just an annoyance to you.

“Please give it back…” You hopelessly say as you watch two of your peers hold your books hostage ten feet in the air.

“And why would I do that?”

Because you’re not a total bitch?

“C’mon, don’t you have anything better to do?” Exasperated, you pull out your wand as they both chuckle.

“Oh, what are you gonna do, summon your Patronus?” One teases as the other laughs.

You bow your head in shame before putting your wand away.

“That’s what I thought, you pathetic waste of-”

“What are the two of you doing?” 

Your head snaps up as you make eye contact with Dami.

Thank goodness!

“Dami!” One of the students squeaks out before running off, and the other slowly lowers your things towards the ground.

“You’re no fun.” They say before throwing your stuff on the ground.

Your eyes widen as you quickly gather your things from the ground.

“You’re sick!” Lia yells from the side as the other student rolls their eyes.

“We were just joking around, right?” They shoot daggers at you, and you shiver under their glare.

“Ahem.” 

You pause as you hear heels click behind you.

“Headmistress BoA, I-”

“My office. Now.” She calmly says, and the student bows their head before walking away. “Oh, and if you track down your friend before I get back, I won’t make you clean out the Hippogriff cages.”

You dare to look at the student who’s walking much faster now, and you find yourself laughing as you gather your things and yourself off of the ground.

“Are you alright?” She gently asks before placing a hand on your back. “They gave you back all of your things, right?”

You swiftly look through your things before nodding.

“Thank you again, Headmistress.” You quietly say as Dami makes her way to your side. “Thanks for saving my ass… again.”

Dami wraps an arm around your shoulders to comfort you before leaning into you.

“I’d happily step in any time.”

Headmistress BoA gently smiles at the two of you before taking a step back.

“I’m glad you have someone like Dami looking out for you,” She says before waving Lia over, “and it seems that you’ve managed to charm quite a few other students as well.”

“Oh, I…” You bite your lip before staring at the ground. “I don’t think I’d call myself charming.”

“Dami would agree to disagree!” Lia teases, which causes Dami to blush, and you to laugh.

“Well, I will leave the three of you to your studies. If there’s anything I can do, please, don’t be afraid to-”

“Headmistress, you’ve already done so much for me…” You softly interrupt her before looking over to Dami. “for us. I don’t think I can thank you enough.”

~

After you and Dami were close and became ‘more than friends’, the torture that you experienced only multiplied. It went beyond verbal teasing and the occasional shove or someone stealing your notebooks.

It wouldn’t be a day at Hogwarts if you weren’t shoved into a wall and had your face shoved into your food. It got so bad that you ended up confessing to your mother, and when she confronted the Headmistress, they couldn’t find anyone who would talk about the bullying besides you.

You tried to take it on the chin, but after one particularly rough day, you broke down in tears and had enough of their teasing. You stopped reacting to their normal shenanigans, which encouraged them to go farther.

You were walking to The Great Hall while admiring the architecture. You had enjoyed your class, which was mostly because you didn’t have to use your wand all day. It wasn’t a secret that you weren’t the best spellcaster, but you could easily outbrew anyone in Potions and you knew what made the plants grow faster in Herbology. 

You were happy because you were to see Dami, and your day was always better when you saw her. In your ignorant bliss, you had failed to notice the snickering students who were holding a pot of honey above your head with their wands.

You had opened the doors to The Great Hall, and everyone in the world seemed to be looking at you when your assailants launched their attacks.

You screamed when the honey fell onto you, and the force threw you to the ground. You managed to push yourself out of the way of the falling pot before it hit the ground.

All of the students outside of the hall were laughing at you, and from what you could see, a good amount of students were laughing in the dining hall.

You immediately started crying before getting up and running away from the dining hall. You didn’t care that you left your things behind, but it didn’t matter since they were probably ruined anyway.

You didn’t stop running until you had reached a bathroom far from the living quarters and The Great Hall. You closed the door, and you fell back against the nearest wall before burying your head in your arms.

A gentle knock at the door manages to disturb your pity party.

“Leave me alone…” You weakly mumble, and you curse yourself for being so weak, just as your peers had said.

“Are you in here?” Dami asks, and you sniffle before answering.

“You should’ve started with your name.” You say before managing to let out a broken chuckle. “The door’s unlocked.”

The door creaks when it is opened, and Dami files in before shutting it.

“My God…” She mumbles before grabbing a washcloth from beside the sink.

Dami puts the stopper in the sink, and she fills the sink with water before running the washcloth under the faucet.

She offers you the washcloth, and your shaking hand reaches out for it before you stop.

“Do you mind if you-”

“No, of course not.” Dami answers before shutting the faucet off. 

She sits next to you with the washcloth in her hands.

“Can I touch you?”

“Yeah, it’s okay.” You softly say before lifting your head up.

Dami gently begins to rub the honey away by starting with your face. After she finishes with one side, she switches hands, and her right hands cleans your face as the other holds the clean part of your cheek.

“I’m so sorry that this happened to you…” Dami mutters as she gently strokes your cheek with her thumb. “How does this continue to happen?”

“I’m an easy target. I’m useless with my wand, I can’t fly on a broomstick, and I don’t know how to talk to people.” You exasperatedly say.

“But there’s so much that you can do. You’re brilliant with Potions and Herbology.” She compliments you before continuing on. “You’re creative, much more than I am, and you’re kind to everyone, even if they’re not kind to you back.”

“You see the good in everyone, Dami.” You lovingly look at her as she smiles.

“I see the good in you because everyone, including yourself,” She sternly says the last part, “refuses to. Someone has to take care of you.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“You can, but it doesn’t hurt to rely on others.” Dami wistfully says before pulling her right hand away from your face “Let me clean the washcloth, and I’ll work on your arms, alright?”

“Okay.” You feel better as Dami stands and walks over to the sink. 

You like the quiet bliss that is between the two of you. No one may understand why the brilliant scholar loves the tortured artist, but you’re starting to get it now.

Suddenly, the door slams open and you jump before curling up into yourself. Dami looks up from the sink before a sour look settles on her face.

“Headmistress BoA…”

“What is going on here?” She sternly says before glancing at you before looking back at Dami. “Did you… were you a part of this, Ms. Lee?”

“I didn’t do-”

“She was trying to help!” You exclaim before tears fall from your eyes. “Please don’t make her go.”

“Are you sure Ms. Lee wasn’t-”

“She wouldn’t hurt me!” You yell before quickly standing up.

You try to take a step forward, but your knees wobble and you fall on the ground.

“My love-” Dami immediately drops the washcloth in the water before placing a hand on your knee. “Did you hurt yourself?”

“No,” You shake your head before placing one of your hands on hers, “I’m alright.”

“Ah, I see what’s going on here.” A glint of mischief appears in the Headmistress’ eyes before she chuckles and smiles. “Clean up, change your clothes, and head to my office once you’re done. I’ll set dinner aside for both of you, and we can chat about finally putting an end to this mess.”

You smile at the Headmistress before looking over to Dami.

“That’d be great, Headmistress. Thank you.”

~

You grab the key from your coat pocket as you climb the stairs with Dami and Lia by your side.

“Ugh, do I have to go to Potions?” Lia complains before sighing. “I’d much rather go to Defense Against the Dark Arts again then do this shit-”

“I’d trade you.” You mumble.

“How bad was class today?”

“I made a fool of myself, as per usual.” You groan as you remember your classmates’ teasing. “Another failure I will never live down.”

“Don’t let those Slytherins bother you-”

“-They were Ravenclaws.” You correct Lia before she pauses mid-step.

“What?”

“Yeah, I know. A lot of the physical teasing comes from Slytherins and Gryffindors, but I can’t count the times I’ve been harassed by Ravenclaws.” You bite your lip before Dami sets a gentle hand on your back. “You think they’d be nicer considering I am a Ravenclaw.”

“Don’t listen to them. They’re judgemental.” Dami reassures you.

“Even you?”

“I’ve learned better from people like you.” Dami honestly says as you reach the fourth floor.

“Well, I’ve got to grab the textbook from our dorms. I’ll see you tonight for dinner,” Lia says to Dami before turning to you, “and I will have a hundred and one questions about Potions to ask you.”

“I’ll do my best to help.” You gently smile before waving Lia off as she continues to climb the stairs.

You loop arms with Dami as you lead her to a locked room, far from prying eyes.

“How was Herbology?” Dami pushes back a strand of your hair before you unlock the door.

“Professor Im says I have a lot of potential in the field. She wants me to start looking into higher level classes for next year. So, it was as per usual. What about you?”

“Potions was simplistic, and Defense Against the Dark Arts, well, I-”

You open the door before gently nudging Dami.

“It’s okay, Dami, I know you’re good at it. You’re destined to be an Auror, I know.”

You mutter a soft ‘Lumos’, which sets the room alight with a soft glow.

“You’ve put up more art.” Dami notes as you set your books aside.

“What else do you think I do here?” You joke before grabbing your staple apron. “But I’m glad you noticed.”

“What are you going to work on?”

“Undecided… but maybe I just want to hang out with you.”

“Oh? Is that so?” 

You let go of Dami’s arm before grabbing her waist. She smiles before wrapping her arms around your torso.

“I-I am sorry.” Dami mutters as you pull her close.

“For what? None of this is your fault, Dami.”

“I just wish I could’ve done… more.”

“Don’t say things like that-”

“You’re planning about going back to the muggle world permanently after you’ve finished your education at Hogwarts, right?”

Your eyes widen as you let go and back away from Dami.

“Did my mom tell you that?”

“Your dad, actually.” Dami pauses for a beat before grabbing your hand. “When were you going to tell me about the fact that you’re taking muggle classes and classes here? Is bullying the reason why you’re going back to the muggle world?”

“Yeah, it is,” You mumble softly before squeezing her hand, “but I didn’t want to say anything, I know you wanted to be an Auror, you’d be brilliant and the best at it.”

“Why the muggle classes, though?”

“I’m a half-blood. It was my mom’s dream for me to go to Hogwarts, just as she did, and my dad… he’s a professor at a well-known university, so he agreed with my mother as long as I kept up with my muggle work.” You sigh before shaking your head. “Was my dad worried about me?”

“He thought you were making the wrong choice.” Dami explains.

“My dad loves you, and he wants what he thinks is best for me.”

“I want you to stay.” 

“You do?”

“Of course I do. As much as I want to be an Auror, I couldn’t imagine being there without you.” 

“That’s sweet of you to say…” You trail off. “But I don’t belong here. You know that, as do many of our peers.”

“They might not think you belong, but you’ll always belong with me.” Dami pulls you close before you rest your head on her frame. “At least think about it, my love. That’s all I can ask from you.”

“I will, dear, I promise.” You peck her cheek before grabbing a paint brush. “You can go back to the dorms and work in peace if you’d like. I’m going to play some music and-”

“-I’d much rather stay with you.”

[art-that-fucks-you-up-tournament]

who’s excited for stats so far?? i bet none of you are but i’m inflicting them anyway! ...under a cut.

so far, though, we have 198 separate submissions across 166 works!

so far the longest submission piece is 551 words long! wow! there are also another 3 submissions that are over 300 words long, and one piece has 797 words across 7 submissions! the shortest submission, to contrast, is 5 words long! that’s also great!

there are currently 4 artists that have had 3 pieces of art each submitted, and 8 artists that have had 2 pieces. that means there’s currently 137 other artists! oh sorry, while i was drafting this post we got a fourth submission for one of the four.

how about things anyone can go look at? there are currently 7 pieces of public art that have been submitted! four of them are from canada (and 3 are from the calgary specifically), one is in the netherlands, one is in spain, and one is in new york. the fourth canadian one also has copies in spain, japan, and arkansas. there are also 3 submitted buildings! two are in spain, and one is in thailand!

gender! we’ve got 122 pieces from male artists, and 32 pieces by female artists! yes that doesn’t add up to 166, the other 12 are either multiple artists, unknown artists, or i felt like a creeper trying to trawl through their tumblr/website and it wasn’t in their bio. sadly, we don’t have any openly trans, nb, or otherwise genderqueer artists submitted (where openly is “i could find it in the same 5 second google search to determine nationalities”)

even more niche stats! the largest submission (that isn’t a building, a cave, or public art) is 2.15 m (7 ft 1 in) x 34.14 m (112.0 ft) and weighs 4 tons! close behind it is another that's approximately 3.7m x 25.2m (12ft x 72.9ft) but weighs significantly less! i did not feel like mathing which had more square footage. the smallest submission (that is, a physical piece in real life, digital art can be insanely small) is 5.9 x 6 cm (2 5/16 x 2 3/8 in.)!

how about locations? excluding the multiple copies ones, there are 32 pieces located in the united states, 9 in spain, 8 in france, 6 in canada, 5 in england, 4 in italy, 3 each in russia, australia and mexico, 2 each in the netherlands, wales, scotland, and ireland, and 1 each in israel, finland, germany, portugal, poland, japan, austria, ecuador, thailand, latvia, singapore, belgium, and argentina! i know that doesn’t add up but there’s a lot of pieces in private collections, owned by the artist, or we just couldn’t find their location, sadly.

artist nationalities get a lot more variable! i did my best to look up every artist i could and include their birth country and the country they did their works in! except john singer sargent because he just didn’t want to settle down and i didn’t want to give him like six different countries. 

starting off, we have 43 submissions by american artists! 18 by french artists, 17 by english, 8 each by canadians and italians, 6 each by russians and spaniards, 5 each by chinese, irish, and germans, 4 each by dutch, mexican and belgians, 3 by latvians, 2 each by finnish, polish, scottish, malay, serbian, and armenians, and 1 each by portuguese, japanese, austrian, ecuadorian, thai, swiss, argentine, cuban, kazhak, colombian, danish, and iranian! 

i do not currently have stats for jewish artists for you, because i forgot to write it down my first time through wiki, and now i have to go through all ~140 articles and websites again. relatedly: there are 8 works by known-to-be-gay artists, but i’m already running into wikipedia going “well he sure did a lot of male nudes but he also might have had relationships with women” and i am feeling uncomfortable poking through people’s private lives so... i hope you don’t mind it i stop... counting..... i mean if they’re open about it i’ll write it down still.

how about the ages of works? there are 4 things from before the 1400s, 3 from the 1400s, 6 from the 1500s, 3 from the 1600s, and 2 from the 1700s! 5 from 1800-1850, 4 from 1850-1880, 10 from the 1880s, and 9 from the 1890s! 9 from the 1900s (that is, 1900-1909), 5 from the 1910s, 5 from the 1920s, 4 from the 1930s, 4 from the 1940s, and 6 from the 1950s! 3 from the 60s, 4 from the 70s, 7 from the 80s, 15 from the 90s, 12 from the new oughts, 17 from the 2010s, and 13 from the 2020s! and three ongoing projects!

and to wrap things up: there are 101 paintings, 12 sculptures, 17 what i’m calling installations (they’re often mixed media or unusual media, i would give examples but i feel like i would bias submissions), 6 photographs, 2 pieces of textile art, and 21 digital arts, drawings, or comics!

[beatleshalloween]

Okay, some of you maybe a small handful might be reading my series including, "Connecting The Stars" , " The Third Wife," and "Love and Limbo," would know of the characters I created based off the 1990s rap group Salt n Pepa.

If you haven't been introduced to them I would recommend reading "Connecting the Stars" and if you want to know more about the characters without reading my long ass book, you could read chapters 8 and 9 of "Love in Limbo. "

These characters are 1990s underground rappers that are in many ways the opposite of the Beatles. They're not heavy into drugs, they value principals over capital, and despite their obnoxious demeanor, are rather good kids.

They're young teenagers, living in poverty in the 1990s New York, And despite their many contradictions from The Beatles they are a reflection of them as well.

They represent the generation that comes after them.

They reflect how rock and roll evolved into rap, And that these girls along with their generation were the modern-day teddy boy or greaser in America.

The characters names and their stage names, real name, and brief description of what they look like.

Spice (Ebony) is a lead rapper in the group. She is the tallest member of the group. Her race is and is around 5'10. She is the 16th child and her twin brother Elijah (deceased age 12) was the 17th, of 19 siblings. Her parents are loving, but they both work overtime to support their large family.

Sugar (Unity) is the second lead rapper. She is a petite white girl, and the only white member of the group. Her height is 5'3" tall, and is the shortest member of the group. She lives with her mother who is a drug dealer and rejects her youngest child and only daughter, and things are much darker.

Spindelle (Dominique) is often referred to as the & on the group's albums. At 5'7", she is the middle height member of the group. Her mother immigrated from Haiti to the United States, while pregnant with her only child. She spent her first 7 years of life in the Bronx, before moving to the town of Bellport, where the group is from. Her father isn't in the picture, where mom is a disassociated She was mother due to a heroin addiction.

Now why the hell am I telling you all this?

Well I'm considering using these characters as obnoxious commentators to the pictures of The Beatles by creating their own Tumblr channel.

Here is a modest sample here.

The Beatles

Spice: Wow! They finally became a Frapple and adopted a bunch of kids!

Sugar: I picture them with little dogs.

Spindelle: Shit! I envisioned them with a bunch of cats!

[acaplaya-musings]

12 Days of Christmas - Day 4

Title: Finding Warmth In Wintertime Day 4 – Mulled wine Fandom: VoicePlay (part of my Fantasy AU, and a direct continuation on from Snow In Voludera) Warnings: N/A Word Count: 1,440 (definitely the shortest in this "series")

(Story below the Keep Reading cut!)

.

Once back inside the doors of Sunlight Castle, servants came and removed the wet outer-most clothing from Geoff, Layne, Eli, and Cesar, all to be dried by the laundress. Then the group headed to the dining room, where Kathy was waiting for them.

“You’re looking quite rosy-cheeked!” said Kathy as Geoff came to give her a kiss. “Did you have a good time outside?”

“I did, in fact!” Geoff replied. “I even helped make a snowman, you know!” He looked up and sniffed the air. “Mmm, something smells really good.”

“I smell it too!” said Cesar. “And I hope it’s what I think it is!”

“Well come sit down, all of you, and you’ll find out!” said Kathy. Then, once the guys had all taken their seats, she disappeared through a door to the kitchen, and then quickly returned holding a serving tray with five glass mugs on it, which she set down on the table. The drinks were of a dark red colour, and each mug had a slice of orange, a stick of cinnamon, and a couple of star anise inside. “Careful, they’re still fairly hot!”

“Mulled wine, I presume?” said Eli, eagerly taking a glass.

“It sure is!” said Kathy as the rest of the glasses were distributed across the table.

“Nice!” said Geoff. “I’ve always wanted to try some, but I never really had the resources to make any.” He took a large sip of the wine. It was warm, and rich with spices, and had just the right amount of sweetness from the fruit and sugar mixed in. “Wow, this is fantastic!"

“Yeah, I’m feeling warmer already!” added Layne.

“Thank you!” said Kathy, smiling. “It’s a family recipe.”

The group sat in silence for a few moments, enjoying their wine, before Cesar spoke up.

“Hey Geoff,” he began, “so like obviously you were never much a fan of the cold and all that, and I guess you probably didn’t go outside much when you were a lot bigger, but what about when you were younger and smaller? Didn’t you ever go outside in the snow, even out of curiosity?”

Geoff inclined his head in thought. “Well, yeah, there was definitely this one time…. This might sound like a random question, but have any of you ever eaten snow before?”

“Maybe once or twice when I was younger,” said Kathy.

“A few times as a kid,” agreed Cesar, nodding.

“Oh yeah for sure, many times!” said Layne. Then he coughed. “Not recently, though, of course. Just as a kid, totally.”

“Well, I was curious as a young dragon,” said Geoff. “And back when I didn't fully understand what snow was, I decided to try to eat some of it. Turns out that it was a bit too freezing-cold for my small dragon body; I had to go back inside and lie in front of one of the fireplaces – already lit, thankfully – and it must have been hours before I was able to make even the smallest bit of flame again!” Geoff chuckled, seeing the others trying and failing to hide their amused expressions. “Yeah I suppose I can laugh about it now, but it really wasn't a fun time for me! Put me off snow for a long, long time!”

Then Geoff's expression became sombre, and he fixed his gaze downwards towards his mug. “But… there were other reasons why I wasn't a fan of winter. Besides the cold, I mean,” he said, his voice a little quieter now. “I usually had fewer unwelcome visitors in the wintertime, but that was about the only silver lining I had. There was also less activity in the forest, so not as many things for me to scavenge or gather, although I did learn to stock up beforehand in preparation. But the days were – are – shorter as well, meaning less warm sunlight and more cold darkness. And then there were at least a couple of times in winter where I’d look out one of the windows at night, and catch a glimpse of the town in the distance, and it would have all these lights, and it looked so warm and inviting…” He inhaled a shaky breath. “…And it just reminded me of how alone I was.”

Kathy had placed a hand on Geoff's arm in a comforting manner, and when Geoff looked back up, his friends were all looking at him with deeply sympathetic expressions. Cesar even appeared a little misty-eyed.

Geoff managed a weak smile. “Sorry, didn't mean to bring the mood down,” he said.

Eli shook his head. “No need to apologise,” he said. “It can be hard to share things like that, but important nonetheless.”

Cesar got up from his chair and came around to give Geoff a side-hug. “If I could travel back in time, I would give dragon-you so many presents, and I would keep you company, and I would tell you that it was all gonna be okay!” said Cesar, sounding on the verge of tears himself.

Geoff patted Cesar’s arm appreciatively. “Hey, it’s alright,” he said. “I have a chance now to catch up on everything I’ve been missing out on, right? Like didn’t you mention something about a Winter Festival?”

Cesar brightened. “Oh yeah! The Winter Festival!” He hurried back around to his seat and sat down again, leaning forward over the table in eagerness. “So, multiple kingdoms have some sort of event or celebration thing during winter, usually close to the end of the year, and for Voludera, we have the Winter Festival! People decorate their houses, and the town as well, and there are special markets, and it all culminates with the day of Yuletide! People give gifts to each other, and at night there’s a big party in the village with lots of dancing and performances and-” Cesar cut himself off as his eyes widened, and he drummed on the table in excitement. “Guys! I have an idea! We should totally do a performance or two at the Yuletide party!”

“Well I can’t say it’s not definitely tempting,” said Layne, “but would we even be granted the opportunity? The performance lineup has been the same for years now, and don’t get me wrong, I think it’d be great to have something new added in, but would other people be fine with it?”

Cesar waved a hand, unbothered. “That part won’t be an issue,” he replied. “I’ll go find Omar tomorrow and have a talk with him; who’s gonna say no to having even more music and singing at a party?” Cesar looked over at Geoff. “Omar’s the one who usually organises music acts for any events in the village, and sometimes acts as the host for them as well,” he explained. “He also helps out when travelling performers and minstrels come to The Palace, and I often chat to him whenever he’s around!”

“What would we even sing, though?” Geoff asked, having another drink of his wine as he mentally shuffled through all the songs he currently knew of.

“I’m guessing you haven’t come across any Yuletide music, then?” asked Eli. Geoff shrugged. “There might be one or two relevant sheet music booklets up in the Music Room, if not a Cheat Sheet or two as well, but you might also find some songbooks in the village bookstore, and I can go see tomorrow if I can grab any song track duplicates for you to listen to.”

“So does that mean you’re in as well, Eli?” Cesar asked, grinning. Eli sighed and rolled his eyes, but didn’t try to hide his smile. “Yeah, why not. If the rest of you are keen for it, then so am I,” he replied.

“But aren’t you getting ahead of yourself, Cesar? Forgetting something, perhaps?” He raised an eyebrow, his smile becoming a playful smirk. “It’s the first snow of the season today, which also means…”

Cesar smacked his forehead in realization. “Oh of course! Decorations!” he cried. He looked at Geoff as he explained. “Some people choose a specific day when they start decorating for the Winter Festival, but other people, including us, usually choose the first snow day to do it. It’s just traditional, y’know?”

“What kind of things do you decorate with?” Geoff asked.

Cesar’s grin somehow grew even larger. “I can show you!” he replied. “There should be a box or two of some of our decorations upstairs. Come on!” And with that, Cesar got up from his chair and bounced out of the dining room.

Geoff shared a glance with Kathy and smiled. This was shaping up to be his most enjoyable winter period by far.

[myrfing]

small list of ffxiv play things that may not be easily obvious to people who aren’t umbilically tied to mmorpgs:

for everyone

- U have to keep your gcd rolling when the enemy is targettable You have to use your pee. At all times if your little cooldown isn’t running you will get gallstones/bladder stones/stones in balls/gout

- most other damage dealing skills and buffs are to be used on cooldown

- buffs, debuffs, and ogcds that have cooldowns that line up in some way are most likely going to be used together and you have to keep it that way. Like ohhh wow crazy that these two skills have 60s and 30s cooldowns respectively I wonder what that could mean

- there are like 4 buttons off the top of my head that don’t see regular usage so if you are not using all your skills in some way in every fight relatively consistently you are probably Died

- because of the weird ass servers your cast “locks in” before the cast bar actually finishes. you can slide around and cast in that small window. This is fun like whee

- follow all these things and you know every class in the game decently now

for tanks

- use reprisal and arms length liberally

- hitting cds > not hitting cds if you’re unsure when to use them

- generally easier to stagger defensive cds from longest to shortest

- you should be mitigating a little autos from time to time not just the busters. not always consistent but when a cast finishes the boss usually gets like 3-5 hits on you

- you should be using shields on teammates that are likely to perish soon

- you do the second highest dps so keep the ball rolling You are like Dps 2

for dps

- Girl hit the boss consistently and violently

- believe it or not your dps does matter immensely for taking the strain off a fight

- go hit the stone sky sea dummy for the current content and make sure you can kill it before entering pf. this is everyone actually but as Dps 1

- use feint/addle/your defensives. and second wind/bloodbath if you fuck up so a healer doesn’t have to waste extra stuff on you

for healers:

- use your cheap ogcd heals first

- if you bust a nut early overhealing you might not have heals up for later so do the minimum required healing at all times

- also it hurts your dps and you are Dps 3

- seriously attack

[lazulian-devil]

The Villains of Skulduggery Pleasant 2

Now before I start, I want to point out that Book 2 has an absolute myriad of Bad Guys™.

The book introduces not only Dusk (who is great at making everyones day just a whole lot worse. Just fun to be around. Only bit Valkyrie, killed the Lord Vampire of Dublin™ Moloch and is generally just... So much fun!), but also the whole Diablerie Subplot (oh look, China is getting a backstory upgrade), Billy-Ray motherfucking Sanguine (who is in one way or another responsible for a third of my favourite quotes from the books), the Torment and Roarhaven (and all that bullshit), the reflection quite literally cracking (this could never possibly become important later on), the whole Faceless One dimension and whatever was going on with Thurid Guild.

So uh, yeah. Book 2, for being actually quite short in comparison to the absolute Grimoires Derek would later be known to write, is a dense friggin book. You might ask yourself "Wow, this sure is a whole lot more dense than the first one" and thats because Landy had at this point already won and be nominated for enough awards that his writing adventures would be a solid thing for him.

The first book was a leap of faith, the second was the beginning of a saga.

(Tangent: I personally think Landy plans and writes books in pairs of threes, as even Phase 2 was originally supposed to be nine but then turned into six books by force of publisher. Because I read them on a Kindle, I am very much aware of how much longer they have gotten with each installment and I think that he, like many an author, would absolutely benefit from cutting down some of the sizes of his books. But book 2 is still very much on the shorter end, if not the second shortest book of the series).

So, after all these absolute bangers of villains, who will I focus on? The one that dies (which is honestly how I think I should do these. Just slowly talk about everyone who actually dies and leave the "I will appear in a trillion books" villains for last, in favor of my sanity).

Baron Vengous.

In a world filled with sarcastic, silly villains, Vengous is the stern military guy that doesnt talk a lot.

And I mean that literally. Besides like... One or two speeches the guy just doesnt talk much.

Ive managed to complete Book 7 in my reading insanity and have read up to 13 before that (reading them as they come out) and I can say with a solid 78% conviction that he is the most "normal" villain and antagonist the series has ever had.

Hes straightforward. Hes methodical. His status as a General of Mevolent is based not only in honestly insane levels of power, but in his pure military might brain and body.

Baron Vengous is the absolute most opposite anyone could have written to Serpine. He almost seems specifically written to oppose him in as many ways as possible. If Serpine was the Vibe, Vengous is the Antivibe.

You get my point.

We actually get an in depth look into him later (where? Leibniz. In terms of trouble, always assume Leibniz) and even among those people, he is somewhat normal. Apart from his wife.

Oh and the other character trait he has. What was that again? I can barely remember.

Ah. Right. Faceless One fanaticism to the point of self destruction.

It makes you wonder what he did after the Amnesty, as he is broken out of prison by Sanguine at the beginning of the book and its never quite explained why. Serpine was just vibin' in his castle. Maybe he did some human sacrifices to his beloved gods and got caught for it. Who knows. (Afaik, its never explained what he did after the Amnesty to end up in prison in the first place and at this point, Im convinced it doesnt really matter and was just a neat way to introduce Sanguine).

But Vengous just isnt a very... Interesting character. He only works so well because Sanguine is a delight anywhere he shows up and Dusk is just utterly terrifying. The Baron is almost too normal among them.

You need proof? Fine. Let me grab my Kindle real quick.

Insert transition music.

Alright, so. Vengous first appearance (Chapter 3: Vengous) paints him as the man in control, the guy who has been in prison for eighty years (Im sure cellphones blew his mind) is out and looking for revenge. He doesnt say a lot. His first actual words are "You're late." to Dusk (who he later points out in his internal dialogue isnt even a man to him). This gives us two insights into his character: First, his stoic mentality. He just murdered someone. Hes entirely calm. Lifes are a casualty to him. And second, he holds enough power or reputation that a very skilled vampire is not only working for him, but accepts being talked down to by this man.

Later in Chapter Ten: The Armour, Sanguines inner dialogue says "The Baron was not a man to be trifled with, especially at a time like this". Once again, we have a whole chapter that shows of several things (passively) about the Baron. He is a planner (shown by his knowledge of the armor and its requirements, the supposed knowledge of where Vile died and his general tactical demeanour being described), he is someone who seems to be in control at all times (shown by him casually watching a bunch of infected under Dusks command dig away) and he is incredibly patient (shown in previous chapters by him being able to wait 80 years and then just "get on with it. Sure, hes mad at Sanguine, but his plans are more important).

And then we add something a little spicy in the mixture: Hes not only a fanatic, hes also an asshole. Ooooohoho.

Its Chapter 18 in which our Protagonists finally meet him and he simply despises Skulduggery. But thats not whats actually interesting. The Chapter reveals him to be self important. Sure, hes a leader, stoic, goal oriented. But hes also cocksure of himself. (A trait he shares with about 84% of all characters in the SP universe).

Skulduggerys taunts go right over him.

"Skulduggery nodded. "So, you married or something? Do I hear the pitter patter of tiny evil feet?"

"I will destroy you."

Normal reaction, ey? The scene goes on quite a while longer than that, but only hammers home this point even more.

The Baron believes himself superior. Righteous. Blessed, probably.

What kills him in the end? His self importance. And how does he react to his death?

"But... But this isnt how Im supposed to die", He said weakly. "Not... Not like this. Not by your hand. You're... You're an abomination."

And then he crawls towards the actual abomination he summoned, pleads it to tell them (the Faceless Ones) that hes sorry for failing them.

The Grotesquery moved its hand so that it touches Vengous' face. It looked almost tender, until the hand gripped and wrenched and the Barons head snapped to one side.

Vengous is a fascinating villain, because he stands calmly among the flashy and vibrant. In a long line of batshit insane people, his insanity is the one that hits closest to home. Many, many villains in the future would be obsessed with religion (the Necromaner Temple, the whole Diablerie plot, later on Darquesse). But all of them are so overpainted, so saturated, that many are just that: A mockery of real life fanaticism.

And the Baron still feels like someone who is rootes in reality. He truly believes that he and the Faceless Ones are superior. His last act is - and I cannot stress this enough - apologising to his gods.

This man. This stoic, straightforward man. This absolute unit. Former General of Mevolent. Words like a scalpel, tactician, wit and gumption combined.

Hes just as insane as all of them. But his insanity is so much quieter. So much more refined.

And that makes him scary.

While I would like to end here, lets summarise real quick:

Vengous has mostly two traits that make him stand out: Straightforwardness and Fanaticism.

Hes a pretty boring villain in comparison to his counterparts.

He is - at least in my opinion - one of the most realistic villains in the series. His insanity is believable and while its not as flashy as those of others, its a kind of insane that makes your skin crawl as soon as you think about it.

He stole Skulduggerys Armor. If you know that Skulduggery is Vile, there are some really interesting scenes that allude to it.

His Leibniz counterpart, for once, seems to actually improve on the OG one. He talks more and he even shows a certain twisted kindness to Valkyrie in explaining her everything. I would almost argue that the Baron of Leibniz is more interesting than the OG Baron. Also, silly wife Eliza. Such a stupid joke.

If he had been succesful, he would have actually ruined the world. Legitimately. The stakes were so high and the man remained so calm. Imagine trying to resurrect your gods. Imagine resurrecting Jesus, all the while having the vibes of a Military Dad with PTSD.

Im afraid that I never found Vengous that compelling. The writing in Book 2 is immaculate though and Dusk and Sanguine are amazing.

I give him a... 7? 8 out of 10?

Also: remember to stay hydrated. Eat a snack. Stretch. You deserve it.

Wanna read more of my mad ramblings? Heres Part 1 with Nefarian Serpine and Part 3 with Batu!