#wow they really fucked up this one woman’s life in particular huh lmao

[amemoryofwot]

Aludra: Tammuz ruined the performance for the King and the Guild blames the war in Cairhien on that night

Rand: 🧑🏻‍🦰

Thom: 👨🏻‍🦳

[markantonys]

path of daggers chapter 7-20

perrin seeing a woman who looks exactly like an older version of elayne getting all huffy about andor and the lion throne: huh, wonder who she could be

for real, if perrin had hung out with his best friend’s girlfriend one (1) time in tear he totally would’ve heard the name lini, or if he’d hung out more with mat and asked about his trip to the palace he would’ve heard the name tallanvor (pretty dumb of morgase’s party to not ALL go by fake names just in case), and he would right now know exactly what’s what. talking to your friends saves lives, people! this also goes to show how cut off perrin is from the other characters - rand, mat, egwene, or nynaeve would’ve either recognized morgase on sight or would’ve quickly pieced it together from having heard elayne talk about her mom and lini.

i’m hankering sooooo bad for a trakand family reunion now that they’ve all gone down/been forced down such different paths. the 3 kids especially - 1 being a whitecloak, 1 a tower aes sedai ally, and 1 a rebel aes sedai means they’re all 3 on opposing sides of each other, and i really want to see that dug into beyond the brief elayne and galad encounter in book 5. i’m dyyyyying for elayne and gawyn in particular to cross paths again, it would hurt like a BITCH and boy do i want that pain (although, poor gawyn, elayne is his raison d’etre in his pov and in her pov elayne NEVER thinks about him lmao). give me my Siblings Torn Apart By War angst!

i am probably the only person in the entire history of the world to read wheel of time and think “you know what this needs? MORE gawyn.” i just think he’s neat.

tallanvor is so annoying to me and i don’t know why. i just can’t stand him for some reason. genuinely think it might be a lingering grudge from that one time 5 books ago when he scolded mat for putting a flower in his hair. anyone who denies my boys the opportunity to wear flowers in their hair is my enemy for life (looking at you, green man).

me, knowing full well that mat is not in this book and is nowhere near ghealdan, reading that perrin sees a man in a broad-brimmed hat approaching: [beyonce meme voice] MAT???

but it turns out to be elyas. also pretty dope, i will admit! i’ve been wondering if we’d ever see him again. whoa i 100% forgot he used to be a warder.

we learn for the first time that the warder bond can be masked and that this is handy for sex. perrin is shook to realize that aes sedai fuck sometimes jfkgh

“i love her! why would i shout at her?” aww perrin ❤️ this is the most reasonable thing any wheel of time character has ever said on the subject of romantic relationships lmao also, elyas is the king of showing up out of the blue and infodumping key knowledge to help out perrin’s life, first with the wolf stuff and now with saldaean culture (although i thought perrin already figured this out from meeting faile’s parents so i’m not sure why he’s still like “wait, faile wants me to lose my temper sometimes????”)

tangent but i’ve seen many people annoyed that elyas was pushed to s2, arguing that it delayed perrin’s storyline, but i disagree. in the book it was SO RANDOM how this wolf guy just showed up and was like “hey kid you can talk to wolves” before perrin had even noticed anything on his own. i much prefer the show’s approach of perrin figuring it out a little by himself in s1 and then getting a proper mentor in s2 (at least according to casting speculation). and say what you will about laila and all that, but it 100% gave perrin a real and scary reason to be afraid of violence and his own strength, as opposed to book perrin who’s just like “i’m Very Big and that could cause problems if i’m not careful.”

faile telling perrin under her breath what to say so that he’ll look smart in front of alliandre hjkfg girlboss/malewife rights! they really are such a wonderful ship at their best, it’s a shame their worst is so bad.

alliandre going “wow perrin is so good at daes dae’mar” when perrin was actually spending the entire conversation thinking “oh my god i have no idea what’s going on faile help” this is such tgh rand energy i love it

“if not for perrin, faile thought she might actually have liked [berelain]” god i want that.............what is the POINT of this love triangle which 2 of 3 parties don’t want to be involved in! why can’t berelain and faile just become friends!

constantly annoyed by how the Bad Aiel Women (sevanna & co) all Wear Too Much Jewelry and Expose Too Much Bosom and Care Too Much About Silks, and how this is brought up every 5 sentences during every single scene they’re in

“[cadsuane] had not met many people she considered formidable, but sorilea was one. perhaps even a match for herself, in some ways.” game recognizes game! if only lini could be here to complete the trio

“strong endures; hard shatters.” “[rand] confuses them. he needs to be strong, and makes himself harder. too hard, already, and he will not stop until he is stopped. he has forgotten how to laugh except in bitterness; there are no tears left in him.” 😭😭😭😭 baby boy............

“the storm was coming? light, [rand] was the storm!” SEXY!!!! as always, rand pulling rank and yelling at people and ordering them around is 🥵

i yearn for soft rand. i’m wildly into hard rand. i contain multitudes.

literally sobbing over rand being close-ish to ebou dar and knowing that the seanchan have taken it over. go stop them! go rescue mat! be his knight in shining armor!

rand sits on a table, Rand Bisexual Sitting counter +1. man i can’t wait to watch josha’s rand sprawling about in chairs wearing fancy silk coats. and pulling rank and yelling at people. that’s gonna Awaken something in me.

nice to catch up a bit with the black tower, if by letter instead of in person. kinda wish rand had spent more time there so we could’ve seen more of what the training is like. we learn that a lot of them are either dying in training or are slipped poison in their wine after showing signs of madness 💔

rand hears about the damage done by elayne’s unweaving, though he doesn’t know the cause. UGH (avi)matrandlayne are all SO CLOSE to each other and yet so far! it hurts!!! fuck you, pattern! weave them back together right now!

“not a mild tone - [rand] could not manage that - yet heartening, he hoped.” 😭 “you’ll be with me to the last battle. i promise it.” i’ll admit i accidentally saw the fate of the character he’s addressing (if i’m remembering the name right) while flipping to the end to see how many pages the book was, but even if i hadn’t that’s a Character Death Toll if ever i saw one lmao

“rand had not realized he had spoken any of his thoughts aloud.” this happens SO MUCH in these books and i go crazy every time. no one does that in real life! in all my 25 years on this earth i have never once had a train of thought, heard someone respond to it, and went “oh gee i didn’t realize i’ve actually been talking out loud this entire time.” agh! i guess rand maybe gets a pass for potential madness reasons, but for all other characters this happens to there’s no excuse!

egwene’s dream: “rand wearing different masks, until suddenly one of those false faces was no longer a mask, but him.” 🗡️💔

“recently all of her dreams about mat were pale and full of pain, like shadows cast by nightmares, almost as though mat himself were not quite real. that made her afraid for him, left behind in ebou dar, and gave her agonies of grief for sending him there” mat my baby 😭😭😭 mat and egwene’s friendship is so good, there really is so much love there. and nynaeve too with her grief about leaving mat behind earlier. kinda makes me laugh how mat is way more besties with egwene and nynaeve than with his alleged Actual Bestie perrin, who has not thought about him for several books and vice versa.

hilarious how everyone was so upset about the hot weather but now that winter’s back they’re like “no actually this sucks.” mat didn’t have his life ruined in ebou dar for this! show some gratitude you bastards!

egwene’s like “we gotta get rid of the three oaths, i love lying” lmao bless her. interesting debate with egwene pointing out rightly that the oaths will put them at a severe disadvantage against the seanchan and that being able to lie has helped her and siuan immensely vs. siuan pointing out rightly that the oaths are the only thing that keeps aes sedai in check and gives the general public any trust in them.

“where was gawyn? was he well? was he warm?” egwene being extremely relatable! (to nobody but me)

the Year of the Four Amyrlins! my inner roman history nerd is delighted

talmanes and other band members have Felt that mat needs them, a tugging south towards him, whoa! i think this is the first instance of a non-rand ta’veren pull. now if only mat would pull rand and elayne to him............

egwene smacks down the hall and makes them declare official war on elaida. YES so satisfying to see egwene showing them how steely she is after all this time of pretending to be weak and easily manipulated!

elayne rides mandarb with aviendha behind her, arms around her waist 🥰 interesting that elayne is sharing a horse with aviendha instead of with her warder (who’s sharing with nynaeve) 👀 i’m going to continue my Wingman Birgitte vision and say that this was birgitte’s idea as a matchmaking attempt.

“she and aviendha combed and brushed one another’s hair - a nightly ritual for near-sisters” your daily reminder that the maidens also told rand that his brushing aviendha’s hair would be considered an intimate romantic gesture “and then they snuggled tiredly into the canopied bed in a small room.” BEDSHARING!!!!! 📣📣📣 BEDSHARING BEDSHARING oh wait nynaeve and birgitte are also sharing that single bed with them. but still, BEDSHARING! man remember the cauthor bedsharing days of eotw? i miss it.

elayne complains about nynaeve’s elbows while sleeping and says that “birgitte flatly refused to change places, and [elayne] could not ask aviendha to endure the woman’s sharp prodding” not even Asking your gf to put up with your friend’s sleep-elbowing, THAT is true love! and i bet part of the reason why elayne doesn’t ask is bc she knows aviendha would trade places without hesitation, THAT is ALSO true love!

“with nynaeve and [elayne] and the other sisters at the head [of the riding party]. and aviendha, of course.” aviendha is just a given in elayne’s mind now 🥰

while traveling through the andoran countryside, in addition to getting info about how much support house trakand has, elayne also wants to learn what the common people’s biggest concerns are 🥰

WHAT on EARTH did elayne DO with that dildo smooth rod ter’angreal that made her wake up in her shift the next morning with everybody amused but refusing to tell her what happened????? give me your theories STAT i must know lmao

we are now 2/3 through the book and nothing’s really happened aside from the bowl being used, avilayne’s exciting escape from the seanchan, and egwene’s war declaration. it hasn’t been boring (aside from some stretches of perrin’s and egwene’s sections) but........nothing..............has happened.

[bakusquadup]

Ree idk if it's too soon but if you could write an aftermath to that cheating scenario I would be so grateful! Obviously doesn't have to be a happy ending, but just poor Reader being happy and Bakugou miserable because I really hate cheaters lmao, or you could do anything else but just let poor Reader be happy 😭

ALol okay, a few people have asked for it and I’m not really in the mood to write normal romance stuff right now anyway. A couple people asked for a happy ending with Bakugou, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Maybe, if you guys want, I’ll eventually add in a continuation with another character. This fic doesn’t have any romance in it, though. Enjoy?

(Also, I named part one when I put it on AO3, so I’ll use that name here)

-Shelley

Read part one/the original fic here!

Affairs of the Heart: Part 2 (cheater!Bakugou x Reader)

“With the most recent rankings coming in, the explosion hero Ground Zero has moved up to the second seed, barely edging out winged hero Hawks who has held the position for many years now.” You stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, gazing up at the jumbotron where a news anchor was covering the Hero Billboard Chart that happened the night prior. To his left were small pictures of Bakugou and Hawks, each sporting their hero costumes. “The number one position remains held by hero Deku who assumed the position after flame hero Endeavor’s forced retirement. When asked about rival Ground Zero’s promotion, Deku gave this statement.” The screen cut to a recording of Deku.

“I think it’s great for Kacch- I mean Ground Zero. He’s always had more natural talent than I did.” He chuckled to himself, rubbing at the back of his neck shyly before clenching his fist in front of him. “But I’m not letting go of the number one spot!” You smiled to yourself a bit. You and Deku had never met before, but you had heard Bakugou grumble about him a thousand times over. Bakugou’s depiction of him and his media presence never seemed to align, however, what with Bakugou’s insistence that he was useless and annoying. Maybe being with him had been clouding your judgement.

A passerby smacked into your shoulder, barreling past and not bothering to apologize.

“Get out of the way!” they yelled. Ignoring it, you simply stepped back under a building awning so you weren’t in the middle of the sidewalk where anyone could come running into you.

“Ground Zero failed to attend the Hero Billboard Chart last night,” the newscaster continued, turning to his co-anchor. “Ground Zero’s media presence has always been small, but he hasn’t participated in any interviews for the past three months now. The public has been debating about what could be wrong. What is your take on the matter, Matsuno-san?”

“Well, Edano-san, one of the most popular theories going around right now is that there may be some trouble in his love life.” Letting out an audible sigh, you shook your head. It took the media a lot less time to figure out than you had anticipated. For the majority of your relationship, you had managed to remain unknown, but around a year ago, a photographer managed to get pictures of you and Bakugou out on a date. Your face wasn’t shown, but it had still caused a massive uproar. Because of that, more and more photos of the two of you together were eventually leaked. While the public didn’t know exactly who you were, it became common knowledge that Ground Zero had a long-term girlfriend. A picture of you two flashed up on the screen.

“The woman photographed, who is widely believed to be Ground Zero’s partner, has not been seen with the hero recently. The public has speculated that the couple may have broken up and one source even claims that she was caught cheating on him.”

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me,” you muttered to yourself. For the most part, you didn’t mind the false news stories that went around, but that was so blatantly backwards that it hurt to hear.

“They really got it wrong on that one, huh?” a deep voice stated behind you. Surprised by the sudden comment, you spun on a heel to find yourself face-to-face with a tall, broad-chested redhead. Well, more like face-to-chest given the height difference.

“Kirishima? What are you doing here?”

“You stopped in front of my agency.” He pointed up. Wrinkling your brows, you stepped out from underneath the awning to look up. Lo and behold, there it was, a giant, bright red sign reading “Riot Heroes” across the top of the building. You felt a blush rise in your cheeks.

“Sorry, I was just passing by and stopped to watch the news,” you explained, gesturing back toward the screen, which had since moved onto more news about Deku.

“Of course, don’t apologize. Do you want to stop in for a cup of tea?”

“Oh, no, that’s okay.” Waving your hands in front of you, you took a couple steps backwards, out onto the sidewalk again. You had been headed home from work and you wanted to get going anyway. “I don’t want to bother you. Weren’t you just leaving?”

“It’s not a bother!” he insisted, flashing one of his massive smiles at you. “I was leaving, but what’s a few more minutes? Please, come in, come in.” He grabbed your arm with a surprisingly strong grip, pulling you along behind him, back into the building. As much as you loathed the idea of spending time exchanging pleasantries with your ex’s closest friend, Kirishima was a nice person and easy to talk to. You stopped trying to wrench your arm free and let him drag you.

Inside the building, large groups of heroes, sidekicks, and administrative staff were bustling about the lobby, everyone preoccupied with their own particular tasks.

“Wow, what’s with all the activity?”

“We’re partnering with Deku and Uravity for a few weeks to take down a villain that’s been active a lot recently.” He released your arm, walking a few paces into the chaos and turning back to ensure you were following. You hurried after him.

“Oh, woah, that’s a strong group you’ve set up.”

“Yeah, well, we all went to school together, so we like to team up whenever we can. I asked Bakugou as well, but he refused.” Instinctively, your heart skipped a beat at the mention of Bakugou. Your discomfort at the mention of his name must have shown on your face because Kirishima immediately went into apology mode. “Oh, God, I’m sorry. You don’t want me talking about him. Of course, you don’t.”

“No, it’s fine.” The two of you pushed out of the masses, finding yourselves in front of the elevators. Kirishima reached for the button. “How has he been? Bakugou, I mean.”

“In all honesty, pretty terrible.” A sense of pride swelled within you, overwhelming you with the satisfaction that he was at least feeling an ounce of the regret you hoped he was. The two of you stepped into the elevator. “He’s barely sleeping; we have to constantly remind him to eat regular meals; he’s increasingly irritable – and not irritable the way he usually is either, I saw him yell at an intern a week ago because they tripped and dropped some papers. It’s kind of hard to watch.”

“Good,” was all you said.

Ding! The elevator doors slid open on the top floor, giving way to the large room lined with floor to ceiling windows. The office was elegantly designed with sleek furniture and minimalistic design, but the ambiance was thrown off by the collection of training equipment in one corner and the occasional “manly” object scattered about. Deku and Uravity were already seated in the lounge area, Deku sitting properly in an armchair, while Uravity was sprawled about the couch.

“Kirishima-kun? Back already?” Deku asked, standing up. He was shorter than you imagined the top-hero to be, but from the looks of it, was pure muscle. His arms were probably the width of your thighs and his thighs looked like they were trying to rip free of his khakis, they were so big. He was definitely built for fighting villains.

“I caught this one outside the office.” Kirishima slapped you on the back, pushing you forward toward the other two. “Figured we could have some tea for a bit.” You walked with him up to Deku and Uravity, but felt yourself clamming up in their presence. You had spent plenty of time around Bakugou and Kirishima, so you were used to them, but Deku and Uravity felt too much like heroes in comparison. You idolized them so much, they barely felt like real people. “This is [Y/L/N] [Y/F/N].”

“Um, hello.” Wow, real eloquent.

“[Y/L/N]-san, why do I recognize that name?” Uravity mumbled to herself, sitting up from the sofa. She squinted her eyes at you for a moment before widening them suddenly. “Are you Bakugou-kun’s girlfriend?” You stiffened – as did Kirishima next to you. Uravity looked between the two of you, confused, but then pressed her lips together. “Oh, right, I heard about…um, yeah. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you said stiffly, shaking your head.

“Well, I don’t think we’ve ever been properly introduced.” It was an awfully awkward transition, but she was trying to stray from an uncomfortable topic and you couldn’t help but appreciate it. “I’m Uraraka Ochako.” She held out her hand. Next to her, Deku stepped forward and held out his as well.

“I’m Midoriya Izuku.”

“I know who both of you are of course, but it’s nice to meet you.” You shook each of their hands in succession. Both of them had hero’s hands – a thing you noticed on both Bakugou and Kirishima as well – their palms rough and coated in callouses from years of rescuing others. Uraraka’s was small, but she had a firm handshake and Midoriya was exactly the opposite, a wide palm with a gentle grip.

Ding! Everyone turned at the sound of the elevator doors opening again.

“Alright, I changed my fucking mind,” a voice called. Oh no.

Bakugou walked into the office and directly made eye-contact with you, freezing just beyond the elevator doors. He looked exactly as Kirishima described him, weak, sleep-deprived, skinnier. His eyes were red and puffy from lack of sleep and the dark purple bags under them were no help. His t-shirt, which was usually completely tight, hung loose around his torso and the sleeves pulled away from his arms. Even just the way he carried himself seemed entirely unlike him, hunched and small, feeble in every sense of the word.

“[Y/N].” The name was soft, barely audible across the large room. He looked at you like you were a ghost and you could only imagine how you were probably looking at him.

“Bakugou, what do you mean you changed your mind?” Kirishima cut into the tension, releasing both you and Bakugou from the trance you’d entered as soon as you saw one another. Bakugou blinked a few times then walked up to join the group. You took a step back so you were standing between Midoriya and Uraraka. Something about being surrounded by those two was comforting, you weren’t sure if it was due to them being heroes or just the vibes they gave off in general, but something. They both glanced at you, but said nothing.

“I wanna join your ‘task force’ or whatever you fucking called it.”

“That’s great.” Kirishima glanced back at you. “How about you come back and we can talk about it then?”

“I’m not fucking leaving,” Bakugou retorted.

“Bakugou…”

“It’s okay, Kirishima,” you interjected. “I’ll just leave and you two can talk about it.”

“[Y/L/N], that’s not necessa-”

“Please don’t go.” To your surprise, Bakugou cut off Kirishima for one of the rawest displays of emotion you’d ever seen from him. Even after years of dating, you had never really since Bakugou expose himself in such a heartfelt manner until now. It was jarring. Midoriya and Uraraka shifted uncomfortably next to you. “I haven’t seen you in so long, let’s just… I don’t know, let’s fucking talk.” The last time you two had met was when he came to move his stuff out of the apartment. Unfortunately for you, you saw his face at the top of every other news story. You were plagued by his presence every day of your life, no matter how much you wanted to never see him again.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Katsuki.” And it was true, you had nothing to say to him. You weren’t even sure you were really angry anymore, disappointed and a little sad, maybe, but not angry. You were spent, no energy left to waste on tiring emotions that only wound up hurting you more.

“Please, just give me ten minutes,” he insisted.

“There’s nothing to discuss. All that would come out of us talking is you feeling better about yourself, that your actions are somehow justified.” You stepped out and past him. “I’ve said all I need to say.” Turning toward the others, you bowed briefly as you headed back to the elevator. “Thank you for inviting me, Kirishima. Maybe we can have tea another time. And Uraraka-san and Deku-san, it was a pleasure to meet you.” Pressing the down arrow, you stepped into the elevator. As the door slid shut, you made eye-contact with Bakugou for a brief instant to see the longing in his eyes, but the next moment the doors were closed and you were gone.

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

6/25/17, 5:30am - idk

Another long two weeks on the books. I really like this update schedule, it’s like just long enough that I don’t forget everything that happened lol.

 I had a really weird dream sometime this week. It was kind of amazing, so I feel like writing about it for a sec. I was on some like cobblestoney/brickey kind of streets. A little bit Doctor Who London meets Chapel Hill I suppose, and all around me people were starting to riot. I think it was a feminist riot like I had encouraged Cullen to do months ago, and people were starting to shoot at each other. I was like duck this and took off running, but as I made my way down these outdoor escalators by a target I got scooped up by a group of five girls. Each of them grabbed a hold of one of my limbs and held me down and the last had a bat and was ready to smash my junk to pieces. I was like crying or something screaming not to hit my balls because they were still fragile lmao. When all seemed lost and I was about to take a beating one of the girls got bit by a fucking zombie on the neck and started gushing blood. All the girls freaked and I knew it was my time to get the fuck out of there so I bolted like hell. I ended up finding a laundromat tucked into a corner of this outdoor mall and so I decided to build myself a barricade there. I let in a little girl and her family, and they helped me move the washers and dryers, stacking them up (I guess I was superhuman or they weighed like nothing) to build a giant barricade at the entrance. We were safe from the zombies for a while, but some government agency started taking them down outside. What looked like an enormous leech made its way inside, and I held it up to see that it had a big mouth and teeth in the center of its belly. One of the zombies tried to make a big enough crack in the washers to get in, and I held up the leech who ate the zombie whole. But the government or somebody was trying to get us to come out of our hiding spot, saying they only needed one of us. When the family decided they were going to get rid of me because they didn’t know me I decided that this was bullshit because it was MY hiding spot, and furiously threw the leech out of the place. It landed in the middle of a small platoon of guys and exploded, turning them all into zombies. Then I was like holy shit this got even weirder and I woke up lol.

____

So anyway, Sunday I managed to get a nap in before heading out to pick up frankie. we talked for a while while fonzi was getting ready and all headed out to this food truck rodeo. We had some of the most delicious shit. Not gonna elaborate too much, but there were these pork belly bun sandwiches that exploded with a crackling of meat flavor and rounded with the savoryness of the fat in every bite. Holy shit I could eat them like every day of my life lol. We spent a good couple hours there, started doing this meme where Fonzi decided that Frankie looked like a celebrity from new york because her hair is all blonde too now. Since Sean and Angel didn’t come to meet us, we decided to hang out at angel’s for a bit. Just chilled and talked for a while while we deliberated whether or not to go swimming. When we finally decided to it was sunset, so his pool was closed, and then we tried to go to my pool but it was padlocked. Pretty damn disappointing, but we walked around catching fireflies and listening to music, which was nice. I took frankie home, but missed a turn and then a road was closed so we ended up detouring through chapel hill, and I decided we needed to stop and take a walk through the arboretum. Ended up going to one of the little grassy openings and in this big oak(?) tree up above us the fireflies must have been mating. In that particular tree they lit up every couple of seconds, making it sparkle in the night. There were so many fireflies that it was like a constant twinkling, like moving christmas light strung up between the leaves. It was beautiful. But not romantic in any sense unfortunately. lmfaooo she called me out asking if I was going to try to make out with her while we walked into the garden and I tried to play it off coyly like “who me? You were the one who kissed me last I remember.” and she had forgotten about this time that I may have actually imagined in my head so who fucking knows. The long and short of it is it seems like there isn’t an ounce of me that she’s attracted to. So that might work really well if I randomly decide to take her up on her aloof offer to move in with her in Boston one day. Who knows. I stll don’t know what I want to do.

Mon - work. Tony told me at the last minute I wouldn’t have patients that weekend, so I had to work mon and weds and take a hit on tuesday to follow through on my date with Katy

Tuesday I kicked some fucking assssss in doubles. Carried my buddy Will hard to get some experience for BMR. And Katy came after she got off work! I got to introduce her to ashleigh, it was sick. I was so fucking happy to have her there and so excited to get laid and so tired from burning out from doubles that I got demolished in singles and took off. Butttt unfortunately katy wasn’t feeling well so she fell asleep on me like Immediately when we got home. Was nice cuddling up with her though. Was torn for a while because I felt like I should be trying to hang out with Ashleigh and Aaron instead. Decided not to because she wasn’t feeling well and I should try to make her feel better because I’m a sappy fuck.

weds - work

thurs - had another really low key day with Katy. kinda just hung out until she got off work and then we just slept again. Bleh.

Luckily since I got the weekend off, it left me free to see Tony and Morgan for their birthday!! It was a fucking awesome weekend, showed up just in time friday night to smoke and go to dinner with everybody. Everybody fucking cheered when I came in the door, it’s like nothing ever changes with us I love all of em so much. Finally got to meet Tony and Morgan’s S.O.’s, and I like them both a lot. Once we were all a little stoned and being a little awk Laura made this hilarious offhand remark “ok, welcome to the conference. These are your friends.” that both became a great in-joke and also made me feel less terrible for being socially inept when I got high as balls for the first time in forever lmfao. Dinner was insanely good, we got like a whole bunch of small dishes at this place Pasteur or something, ate family style and got to try so many different dishes. I remember steak tar tar and this rib that was like eating caveman bacon on a stick being incredible. Also fried pickles and all sorts of stuff. Had a couple beers there, went to a bar and bought tony a tequila shot, got home, pulled the liquor out of my car and everybody got toootally fucking wasted. I don’t remember all that much, a little bit of a nostalgia fest with Alex for a while. Tony made the clutchest move ever ordering us a pizza super late in the night. But not too much later after gorging myself I puked my guts out and crashed on an air mattress with Erica lol. Was probably drunk enough that I might have tried to make moves otherwise, even though she has a bf now apparently you know me -_- . She’s lookin suppper fit nowadays. I think she’s still uniquely the only girl I’ve rejected in my life. Back when I was just a pure little kid and didn’t want to do anything sexual without it being special yet. Fuckin weird typing that now lol it doesn’t sound like me at all.

Saturday was river day, bought some beer and hiked with it about a mile to this river and spent most of the day there smoking drinking and chatting. It was fucking gorgeous out there, and everyone looked great together laying around on this rock. Got to know Dana and her gf much better, and tony’s gf. I think I drank like 5 or 6 beers floating around in the river, it was a lot of fun trying to ford across (it had poured that morning so the water was flowing pretty fast) without spilling any beers lol. Towards the end of us hanging out in the lake me and Laura floated around in this raft morgan had brought, and alex was reeling us in and casting us back out again like he was our dad. Such an excellent day. Until then I hadn’t told anyone about my vasectomy because I didn’t want to take attention away from everyone else, seeing how it had become such a talking piece on our family vacation and how much of my conversation with frankie had revolved around it. But I mentioned it in the river and said that it was because once I found out it was reversible I felt like the onus of birth control shouldn’t be put on the woman. Everyone was just like “huh wow that’s fucking awesome I totally agree,” and I like swam away for a bit instead of discussing it further. But when we were hiking back up to our cars Mike told me “yknow you might’ve started like a revolution back there with the vasectomy thing.” I was pretty fucking drunk and a little high so I honestly wondered if he was just fucking with me for a second, but I really appreciate that he said that after all the shit I got from my family. So that was a long ass afternoon of being out in the sun, and everyone got exhausted and fought to stay up but seemed like after we got back at some point everyone took a turn of getting too high and getting zonked out on the couch. I took a nap in Tony’s bed until his dad got there and got to see him for a bit. More great food was cooked, but I felt bad that I was so tired because I kinda wanted to rage again, especially since some new people came to hang that night, but not people that I knew. As a present Tony got the fire pit from their old house, and it was really neat to have another fire and sit around it with everyone. Sunday Tony and Morgan and some people cooked an enormous breakfast for everyone. Hung out with Mike and Erica and all talked about how good we look now lol. Eventually we said our goodbyes, I stuck around after everyone had left to chill with Mike and Tony for a while because I had nothing to do back at home. Katy decided she didn’t want to chill. I had waited on my dad for a long time to see him for lunch and so I didn’t smoke too much but got a little inebriated and watched nearly a whole season of Silicon Valley with Mike and Tony and his gf and Mary.  Sun - came back at 4, got home at 7, idr that night. Mon - Stayed up until like 6am watching Doctor Who, had to go to chapel hill for a JKCF function at 9, barely slept at all but met some new cooke friends so that was cool. Went to raleigh w/ will to play melee, got suuuper fucked. Went 0-2 in singles AND doubles, the worst placing I’ve had in... well ever, but it’s been months since I’ve had one that bad. Tues - Had a redemption tournament at Geeksboro. Got second place, actually won a little money. Disappointed that I threw away a few games that might’ve given me first but had a lot of fun. Katy told me she was sick that morning, and since she had been no fun to hang out with the last week and she bailed on our plans for Sunday and that day I decided to break things off with her. She was confused and hurt, of course, but I was just like “this is bullshit you’re treating me like I’m not a friend” and we hashed things out about her worrying about me having too strong feelings and that we’d just be friends who have sex and watch cartoons and stuff. So we’ve still been snapping every day but I still haven’t seen her in a while. I’m glad we’re still friends though, I was feeling helllla fucking self conscious for a hot minute.

Weds - I hung out watching Doctor Who most of the day, but went out to the bar Ashleigh was working to hang out for a while. She introduced me to her friend who was kinda plastered and seemed like she was leaning for a kiss on our introductory hug. So I was like woooooooh baby I love gboro people I can’t believe I have to play catchup at fucking 11pm lmao. Chugged a few free beers for this Shocktop promotion, and since I hadn’t eaten anything I got just tipsy enough that I could flirt with her without feeling like a Total asshole. We were chatting about some music and stuff, went inside and danced for the tiniest bit, and then she basically kissed me three times. Nothing egregious or any tongue or anything because I was still wary of her being a little off her ass, but I realized I got a text from ashleigh saying “come talk to me.” I was like “oh what’s up?” and she said “well it doesn’t matter now, it’s just that she’s married, they’re in a rough spot but I didn’t realize it was That rough.” ha haaaaaaaaaaa goddamn just my luck lol. She ended up puking on the side of the bar, I made better friends of a few of the regulars and played pool with them, I hung out with Aaron when he showed up at the end of the night and got to hear about the drama between him and his old roommate, and I sang a bunch of karaoke. Another fucking wonderful night, fshoooo. Got a philly cheesesteak and passed out, was super hungover the next morning lmao.

Thurs - got off work early story of that girl that I posted Fri - work, getting ready for bmr, finally got my spare setup in the office at work I’m so fucking happy it doesn’t make enough noise that it disturbs the patients. I’m gonna be a god one day lolol.

Also just as a benchmark I’m 4 episodes into season 8 of doctor who now. Comin along nicely. Def the hardest I’ve binged on a show in a longggggggg time.

OH and last I learned how to solder on weds. Finally did the work on that controller mod and it fucking brokkkkeee kinda tragic, I had to throw out the guts of the controller that I learned to play the game on. I thought I was going to be fucked for a while, but luckily Will had my back and lent me one of his spares that works even better than the one I had before. Might have actually been lucky as fuck despite being out $50 on the microchips and soldering kit lmao.

Anyway my life is amazing, I’ve been doing personal finance numbers in my head a lot but I think that’s because I’m just reassuring myself that I don’t have to worry about money much anymore. Eating well, still not doing much french fries, trying to quit soda. Started doing pushups+situps+pullups before my showers, so maybe I’ll be a little fitter, even. Life’s pretty great. So fucking excited for BMR2 next weekend, hopefully I’m gonna kick some ass. Gonna be a muchhh nerdier update next time I get on here lol.