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slimeyslimeyballsack · 5 years ago

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If You Only Knew, You'd Hate Me Chapter Four

Pairing: Bucky Buchanan x OMC (Zebediah Kaskitt)

Summary: Bucky and Zebediah had a fleeting interaction years ago and Zeb has been hung up on the boy ever since. Even with his arrogant and dismissive exterior, Zeb still tries to make a connection.

Warnings: swearing, that’s actually it, this was a mild chapter, Bucky being dumb af

Tags: @thebtrmuffins @diagnosed-crazy @lykenbcrn

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Part One Part Two Part Three

Bucky woke up with his legs intertwined with Zebediah's. His eyes went round. He quickly detangled himself and sat up, legs dangling off the bed. He looked at Zebediah, who was still sleeping.

"I don't hate you."

He doesn't know why he says it. He won't be able to hear him. Still, he continues.

"I don't even hate zombies, I think. I just, my parents, I have to be perfect for them. If I'm different, they," he paused. "But I deserve it. I just want to impress them, but I feel like I can't, no matter what I do. I'm scared of them."

Zebediah doesn't move. He doesn't show any signs that he hears what Bucky is saying. Seeing him sleeping, free of stress, made it that much clearer how much he carried when he was awake. It seemed so noticeable now that he saw him so carefree.

"You're stronger than me. You've gone through so much. The whole world's been against you, and you keep smiling. You're just a good person, all the time. I'm not. I'm a bad person. I don't know if I can be better."

He checked his phone. It was after six. He wasn't going to school today, but he still needed to be home before his parents woke up. He took one last look at Zebediah, deciding to write his number down before walking home.

Bucky was gone when Zeb got up. He went to check his phone and a small slip of paper fell onto the floor. He picked it up to see a phone number written in immaculate handwriting. Bucky signed behind it. He put the number in his phone before texting: Hey, did you get home alright?

His pa walked into his room.

"What are you doing? Come on, time to get up. You can have breakfast on the go."

Zeb rushed to get ready, grabbing his breakfast and walking toward Zebina's.

"Zebina, you have no idea what happened last night."

Zeb ran toward her, resting his hands on his knees when he reached her porch.

"Did you run here?"

"Yeah I was late, but that's not the point. Guess what happened last night?"

"You actually stu-"

"Bucky came over!" He cut her off.

Zebina's eyebrows jumped into her hair.

"He what? Why?"

Zeb recounted his tale. It was bittersweet. He had had a successful interaction with the guy he'd been dreaming about for years. But the reason he ran into Bucky made him sick. He knew people like Bucky's parents first hand, and he wished Bucky didn't have to deal with it.

"That's crazy, I- I'm happy for you."

Zebina was incredulous. She had been ready to console him when Bucky never gave him more than a passing glance. She was not prepared for Bucky actually talking to him, nicely, at his house. That had been completely out of the realm of possibility.

When they got to school they didn't sit in their normal spot. They, instead, sat with the wolves. Zeb had received a text saying that he had and that he would be staying home today, so he didn't mind where they sat. They took their seats between Willa and Wynter.

"He doesn't hate me."

Zeb leaned in to whisper to Willa when the rest of the group was distracted with a conversation. She looked around the room.

"He's not here today."

"Willa, you know who I'm talking about right?"

With everyone's attention turned to them, she settled back into her spot. She didn't say anything more about it, but she did give him a half-smile and a nod. The conversation moved on and eventually the bell rang, the wolves and Zebina letting out a howl. Willa gave Zeb a little nudge, encouraging him to join in.

Zeb exchanged texts with Bucky sporadically throughout the day. He actually hadn't expected him to really answer him.

Me, 7:17 am: Hey, did you get home alright?

Bucky <3, 7:43 am: Yeah, I won't be at school today though

Me, 7:43 am: okay, feel better

Me, 7:44 am: and ice it

Bucky <3, 8:26 am: I will

Bucky <3, 9:06 am: What are you doing after school?

Me, 10:01 am: nothing I don't think

Me, 10:01 am: why

Bucky <3, 10:19 am: I need to talk to you

Me, 11:04 am: why?

Bucky <3, 11:44 am: I'll let you know later.

Me, 11:46 am: okay

Bucky <3, 11:50 am: Is it okay if I come over?

Me, 12:37 pm: yeah

Me, 1:39 pm: it'll be like 15 after class

Bucky <3, 1:40 pm: Okay, see you then

Bucky managed to get a group call with the Aceys after school ended. There was no way he was inviting them over in his current condition. He also wanted to get a head start on walking to Zebediah's house, so he started the call as he walked down the street. He had a Seabrook hoodie over his head to cover up his bruises. The group exchanged small pleasantries chatting a bit before Bucky cleared his throat.

"Hey, guys. Remember that zombie guy. He would always give me compliments just like randomly?"

"Oh my god, that kid? He's such a loser." Jacey laughed.

Bucky didn't really like Jacey much, but they needed another Acey after Tracey bailed. There was a silence while everyone waited for Bucky to comment.

"Yeah, he's going to be joining us, like an Acey but not. His name is Zebediah. So Jacey? Shut up."

"So, does this mean we don't have to be mean to zombies anymore?"

Lacey quickly shifted the conversation to avoid potential drama. They did not need that. The question did surprise Bucky. He didn't realize that he was making them act that way. He just assumed that's just how they were.

"Yeah, but not too nice."

"Oh, thank goodness. Because, like, it was honestly so tiring. Like, its just so much energy you know? And I just-"

"Stacey, shut up."

Stacey interjected in the middle of Lacey's little rant. The conversation moved to a more casual topic and Bucky wasn't really paying attention. He was thinking about Zebediah, and how he was going to tell him about joining the group. He was worried that his parents would see his true intentions, or someone else would. He didn't want people to think he liked Zebediah. He also didn't want Zebediah to think that he hated him. He rounded the corner of Zebediah's street and easily excused himself from the call.

"Here goes nothing."

Zeb found Bina and the wolves after school.

"Hey, Bina and I are going to study after school, anyone want to come?"

Zeb could see Bina's face fall at the statement, then brighten up again when everyone said they couldn't, including Zebediah. So, in high spirits, the three embarked on the journey home. Bina and Wynter happily bantering back and forth. Wynter brought out the talkative side in Bina and you could tell that Wynter was just happy to have someone listen to what she was saying. Zeb, not wanting to be engaged in pity conversation, put his earbuds in. No, he was not listening to music. He took the time to think about what was going to happen.

Zeb was excited to see Bucky. Yeah, he just saw him yesterday, but like that was several hours ago. He was curious as to what Bucky had to say to him as well.

He'd wave to Bina and Wynter when he left them at Bina's house, skipping the rest of the way home, eager for their meeting. He walked in to see Bucky already sitting down. He was laughing with his pa and dad.

"You've got yourself a good one, Zeb." His dad clapped his hand on Bucky's back.

"Okay, well, we need to talk so bye."

He grabbed Bucky's hand and pulled him upstairs into his room, shutting the door behind them.

"Have fun you two."

"Dad!"

Zeb could feel his face getting darker. He looked down to see their hands still together. He looked back up to see Bucky grinning at him. He quickly removed his hand, wiping it on his pants. He didn't think it was possible to be more flustered than he already was.

"So, I, uh. What did you want to talk about?"

Zeb gestured for Bucky to sit on the bed, following quickly behind him. Bucky looked him in the eyes. Although they were about the same height standing, Bucky had a longer torso, so Zeb had to look up to see into them. Wow, they were such a pretty brown.

"I've been thinking." Bucky placed his hand on Zeb's. "I actually really like you, Zeb, like a lot."

Zeb froze. Bucky liked him. Bucky Buchanan. Bucky "pro keeping things the way they are" Buchanan liked him.

"This is unexpected, to say the least. I actually have been daydreaming about this for a long time. Wow, that's embarrassing to say out loud. I think this is actually-"

"You talk too much."

Bucky cut off Zeb's rant, quickly catching his lips in his own. Bucky pulled Zeb flush against him, Zeb reaching up to cradle his face. It was everything Zeb had thought it would be. Yeah, it was clashing teeth and hunger and neediness. But it was also fireworks and warmth and it was perfect.

"Zebediah Kaskitt!"

Zebina was in front of Zeb. She pulled an earbud out of Zeb's ear. He grinned sheepishly at her exasperated face.

"What is up with you?"

"Bucky."

"So the usual." Bina laughed.

The two exchanged 'I love you's and Zeb waved a goodbye to Wynter. To follow his daydream, he skipped the rest of the way home. The fantasy was interrupted when he saw Bucky fidgeting on his front porch. He slowed down a little bit to watch him, stopping and leaning against a pole. Bucky switched from playing with his hands to fiddling with a lawn ornament, panicking when the plastic cup he was spinning fell off.

Zeb decided to step in before he could do any more damage. He jogged up to his porch waving at Bucky. He grabbed the cup Bucky had semi refitted onto the iron rod.

"That wasn't me."

"Mhm." Bucky chuckled at him. "Come on. We can talk in my room."

Zeb pushed the door open. His dad and pa sat at the kitchen table.

"Hey. This is my friend Bucky. We're gonna talk up in my room, okay?"

"Just keep the door open. Do you want any snacks?"

Zeb looked at Bucky, who gave him a blank stare.

"Maybe later."

Zeb gestured for Bucky to follow him up the stairs. He led him into his room, making to keep the door open.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

Bucky took a deep breath before starting. "I want you to join the Aceys. You wouldn't have to change your name or anything, just hang out with us. But don't get a big head or anything about it, and don't act too friendly in front of people."

Zeb was dumbfounded. Sure, Bucky wasn't professing his love, but it was a step in the right direction.

"So I can act all friendly when it's just us?"

"Shut up."

Zeb laughed, looking sideways with a lopsided smirk.

"So, does this mean I get to wear actual clothes?"

It was something that Zeb couldn't have even thought about happening a year ago, and here he was, doing it with Bucky. Bucky shrugged and nodded.

"Rad. You want some snacks?"

Zeb didn't wait for a response. He jumped up and grabbed Bucky's hand, pulling him off the bed and out of the room. He walked him down the stairs into the dining room. Pa had set out some broccoli and even ranch. He must have known how badly Zeb wanted to impress Bucky. Ranch was only brought out during special occasions.

"So, Zeb, introduce us to your boyfriend."

Zeb looked to see Bucky blushing, and from the heat on his face he was looking similar. Black blood pooled in his cheeks. His dad snapped his fingers in his face, turning his attention back toward his parents.

"What? No. He's not my boyfriend, just a friend. Dad, Pa, this is Bucky. Bucky this is Zelon, my dad, and Zamian, my pa."

Zeb was a little nervous. He expected to see disgust on his face, or malice, but all he saw was a growing confusion.

"Well, Buckster, tell me a bit about yourself."

Zelon went to pull Bucky into a side hug, Zeb grabbing his arm in the air, wrapping it around himself instead. Bucky gave him a grateful nod and Zeb made up an excuse about Bucky not liking strangers touching him. The group sat down and Zeb gave Bucky a nod to go ahead and start talking.

"Oh, well I was previously cheer captain but gave it up to become student president. I'm the best cheerleader on the squad."

Bucky tapered off. Everybody knew everything about Bucky, except Zeb's parents. Zelon and Zamian continuously assaulted him with questions, smoothing them over with the occasional over the top compliment.

"You are quite the handsome young man," Zamian said.

He leaned against his husband, legs crossed and one hand splayed across his chest. Bucky made a face; his brows furrowed and his nose crinkled. This couldn't happen; he hoped to god that Bucky wasn't homophobic. That really wouldn't help better their situation, and it was entirely likely considering his parents.

Bucky <3, 4:02 pm: do you want to leave

Bucky <3, 4:02 pm: I can make up an excuse

Me, 4:02 pm: Yes, please.

"Hey, Bucky and I were gonna head out. I gotta go upstairs I'll be down in half a sec."

Before Bucky could respond, Zeb ran up the stairs into his room. He lifted up a floorboard and pulled out the money he had saved. $162.17. That should be enough to buy new clothes. He shoved the ziplock bag filled with change and a ridiculous amount of ones into his back pocket. He ran back downstairs interrupting his dad's spiel about the economy or something boring like that. He was about to walk out when his dad spoke up.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

Zeb closed his eyes and pursed his lips, sighing through his nose.

"Love you. K bye."

He started to open the door before his dad cleared his throat. He turned around and hugged them both.

"Okay bye."

He pulled Bucky out of the house before they could embarrass him further. They walked for a little bit. Instead of heading toward the gate, Bucky made a turn back into Zombietown. Zeb was still too frightened about his reaction to mention it. Bucky found an alley with some wood boxes for them to sit on.

"You have two dads?"

To Zeb's surprise, his words weren't filled with disdain. It was a genuine question. Zeb nodded.

"How?"

"I was adopted."

"But why do you have two dads?"

"Because they love each other."

"You can do that?" Bucky's eyebrows shot up.

Zeb laughed. Did he really not know?

"Yeah, you can do that. Guys can like guys. Girls can like girls."

Bucky's jaw fell slack. "So that means I could like boys?"

"Yeah, or you could be like me and like both."

"So you could like anybody?"

Bucky's tone was a sort of mix between bewilderment and excitement. It was like a kid's when they saw their older sibling do something cool. Zeb shrugged and blushed. He was doing more blushing today than he would've liked. He wasn't overly fond of the way he looked when he blushed. It was like ink blotches on his face, neck, and ears. His hair hid his ears and back of his neck but the rest was on full display. He threaded his fingers through his hair, pushing it back out of his face.

"In theory, yeah, but right now I kind of got my eye on someone. They're, uh, actually the reason I joined cheer squad."

Zeb quickly decided he did not like the feel of the air and refocused the conversation.

"And, you could decide that you actually want to be a girl or you could decide that you don't want to be a guy or girl."

Bucky smirked. "Nah. I'm definitely a guy. I'm Bucky; I'm the epitome of manliness."

He flexed and made a couple of poses, letting out little grunts of effort. Zeb giggled, bringing his hand to his mouth.

"Whatever you say, big guy."

Zeb patted his hand on Bucky's chest, letting it sit there for just a moment too long before abruptly pulling away. He cleared his throat and stood up, mumbling something about how they should go before all the good stores closed.

They walked back toward the gate, this time in a more comfortable silence. They checked through the gate and Bucky didn't seem to notice the funny look the guard gave. He led them far into Seabrook, farther than Zebediah dare go by himself. In all honesty, it was making him a little frightened. He knew what people around here were like and what they were like toward zombies. He stuck closely to Bucky, shrinking in a little when he saw people pass by. They came up to a small store, and Bucky pushed the door open and leaned against it, beckoning Zeb to go in first. He did so and was almost immediately greeted with the unhappy face of a middle-aged woman.

"No zombies. I'm going to have to ask you to leave or I will call Z-Patrol. Now."

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