#wow it really did just fuckin went 'early weekend. now go away'

[kayoi1234]

Apparently Microsoft imploded or something, releasing corporate girlies everywhere

[eeveedel]

WIP Sunday

Hello all, I was tagged by to post a bit of my current WIP alongside some “art” -- I don’t have a current moodboard but I thought I would provide some general ~~aesthetic pics and another preview of the rancher harry fic -- this time an HL meet cute! I hope you all enjoy, and happy Sunday

Harry heard a rapping at the screen door, and he grunted, shifting his weight forward so he could sit up and hoist himself out of his armchair.

He took a step forward on his good leg while his bad one dragged behind him. After a bit of walking around, it usually woke up enough for him to put more weight on it, but for now, after his rest, it was a dead weight of pins and needles behind him. It took a bit of effort to get to the front door, but he got there eventually. He grabbed his cane that was leaning by the door, and then opened the wood door, revealing just the screen and what lay beyond it.

There was a man in mint green scrubs and a thick corduroy jacket on his porch, perfectly centered between the big American flag hanging beside Harry’s door and the pots of tulips lining the front gate. The man at the front door was young. He had some creases around his eyes and mouth but his freshly shaved face looked so youthful, along with his bright eyes behind his big, wire frame glasses.

“Howdy,” Harry drawled, lifting his thermos to his mouth, “You must be — “ His tongue worked in his mouth, trying to come up with the name Margaret had given him last week. It wasn’t something common around here, and yet it still evaded him.

“Shoot, I’m sorry,” he sighed, pushing up the brim of his hat with his thumb, “Help me out, what’s your name, son?”

“Oh, I’m Dr. Tomlinson, but you can call me Louis,” he said. “Dr. Baldwin caught me up on some of the animals you have here and their needs, sir,” he said. “I know you have a pregnant cow nearing the end of term and a newly pregnant mare that just needs a bit of a checkup as your main concerns. She also told me you had a few roosters and a chicken coop, is that correct?”

Harry cracked a smile and nodded.

“Well, that’s correct. Seems like you did your homework,” he said. “Cherry’s gonna have a baby now damn day now and I just found out about Goldie last month.”

He took a sip of his coffee, shuffling his feet and readjusting his cane as he did.

“You don’t need to worry too much about the chickens, they nearly take care of themselves. Got a few pigs but those are going to market in a couple months, but you can take a look at ‘em if you want to.”

He pushed at the screen door, moving out onto the porch to meet Louis directly. When he was in front of the man, he could see Louis looked even younger up close, and he was nearly a full head shorter than Harry.

“Can I get you something to drink or anything before we go out?” Harry asked, taking the briefest moment to look the young vet over.

“Um, maybe a glass of water after we finish up? It is a bit hot out today, even though it’s January,” Louis rambled. “I mean, I came from San Francisco, so it’s still hot there— anyways, sorry.”

He exhaled, his cheeks already pink.

“Could you show me to Cherry first, please?” Louis asked. “I want to make sure she and her calf are in tip top shape.”

Harry smiled gently. The young vet was eager, and looked a bit flustered. He tried not to let his gaze linger too much longer, although he already liked him.

“Sure thing. I’ll show you out the pasture. Cherry’s probably out gossiping with her friends.”

He walked to the edge of the porch, taking the small ramp that was easier to navigate with his cane.

“Tell me, they have a lot of cows out in California, Louis?” he asked as they trudged along the path, “Because if this is your first one, I’ll give you a fair warning. Cherry’s a sweet girl but a little sassy.”

“Well, I grew up in San Francisco, so no, we don’t have a lot of farms there,” Louis said. “But I studied with a bit of everything in veterinary school, and went to a lot of farms up north. So yeah, I’ve worked with cows.”

“Good, good,” Harry nodded.

He walked through along the dirt path that led from the house to the rest of the ranch. He led Louis past the chicken coop and the large horse barn, moving out to the back part of the property with the cattle barn and the large pasture. His leg was starting to wake up, making his gait a bit less strained.

“Where did you study?” he asked.

“UC Santa Barbara for undergrad and then vet school at UC Berkeley,” Louis said. “I just graduated last spring, actually.”

“Congratulations,” Harry said. “Before you look at my girls, you wanna tell me know if you were bottom of your class?”

Louis laughed a little, scratching the back of his neck.

“I was actually valedictorian.”

“Damn. Undergrad or vet school?”

“Uh,” Louis said, smiling sheepishly. “Both? And high school.”

“Jeez,” Harry chuckled. “Well. I didn’t even go to college, so you’ve already impressed me many times over.”

They arrived in front of the enormous cattle barn and the wide pasture beyond it. Harry smiled to himself, lifting the hand that wasn’t gripping his cane.

“Yep,” he smiled to himself, “There she is.”

He gestured to the pasture, and specifically pointed to one of the cows, a rich red brown and swollen at the belly, who was smack in the middle of a group of five other black and white cows.

“Gossiping, just like I thought,” Harry said. He reached for the gate, going to unlock it, “Well, come on, you can give me your expert opinion.”

“Wow, she’s beautiful,” Louis marveled.

“Don’t let her hear that, it’ll go straight to her head,” Harry said. He opened the gate fully, then opened the pasture and turned around, holding it open for Louis.

Once they were both inside, Harry approached Cherry, cooing and clicking his tongue as he walked. She looked up and stared at him, chewing slowly on a thick clump of grass, but when she was done, she let out a low moo and slowly but surely waddled towards him.

“Here she comes,” Harry smiled.

They both stood and watched her as she slowly came over, and when she did, she immediately gravitated to Harry.

“Hey, princess,” Harry said. He set his hand on her head and gently stroked her with his thumb, smiling to himself as she blinked at him with her big, milk chocolate eyes.

“Louis’s gonna take a look at you, pretty girl,” Harry said. “You be nice to him.”

Harry kept petting Cherry’s head and then looked over to Louis. The vet was kneeling on the ground, unlocking the briefcase he had brought. It was funny, seeing him with a shiny, clearly barely used case. Margaret had always just shoved her tools into her ancient Jansport backpack, which was covered in twenty years’ worth of coffee stains and held together with duct tape and spite.

Louis took out a pair of latex gloves and a stethoscope, then moved closer to the animal. He gave her a settle pat on her swollen side, then put the stethoscope’s earpieces in. He set the metal diaphragm on her side, and Cherry jolted a bit, but Louis cooed at her and kept petting her side as he listened. He closed his eyes and nodded a bit as he moved the cold metal over her stomach, humming softly to himself.

Harry watched Louis carefully touch and examine Cherry, the young man’s hands gentle but sure as he did his job. Harry had had his hesitations before Louis arrived. But he seemed at home, and like he really cared about doing a good job. Harry could appreciate that. He had spent years building up trust with Margaret to work with his animals, but, maybe he was just getting sentimental at his age, or Louis really did have a special touch, but he immediately felt just fine with the younger man taking care of his herd.

After a few minutes Louis opened his eyes and ducked his head down, examining Cherry’s udders and nether regions. Finally, he lifted his head and pulled himself up, taking the stethoscope out of his ears and draping it around his neck.

“Well, she looks great,” Louis said as he peeled off his gloves and shoved them into his jacket pocket. “The calf’s got a nice, strong heartbeat. She seems about a couple weeks away, but just keep an eye on her – “

“Early labor, yeah,” Harry said. “I always start preparing at least a couple weeks in advance of the due date, anyways. My girl Caroline went into labor a couple years ago, fuckin’ 16 days before she was due, and I was in Austin for the weekend. Only time I left the house in months, and she picked that weekend.”

One of the white cows in the pasture mooed loudly, and Harry looked over his shoulder and glared.

“Yeah, I’m talkin’ about you, fuckin’ drama queen,�� he scoffed. “She’s a good girl. And a tough one. Had a delivery all by herself and nearly gave me a heart attack when I got home and there was a new baby toddling around.”

He turned back to Louis, offering an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, don’t mean to bore you with farm stories right off the bat.”

“It’s okay,” Louis said. “I love to hear animal stories.”

“Well, let me know in a few months if you’re sick of cow stories. That’s nearly the only kind of stories we have in this town.”

Louis just laughed and lifted his hand, shifting his glasses up his nose.

“Would you show me to Goldie, please? Just to see how her early stages are going.”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Harry said. “Goldie’s in the small barn, come on.”

[binniedeactivated]

saint. || soobin🌪(9)

🖤┊𝔰𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔱 . ೄྀ࿐ 𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: 𝖘𝖔𝖔𝖇𝖎𝖓 𝖝 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: 𝖘𝖒𝖚𝖙/𝖆𝖚 

𝖙𝖜//𝖘𝖊𝖑𝖋 𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖒.

𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙; 2193

mia had her days of self pity but this was by far her worst yet. she came from a upper class working family, religious strict parents. It was only her and her little brother in her house, so she got pretty much everything she wanted. what did she ever have to want for? she had no reason to feel sorry for herself. 

but she did. again and again. how could she be so stupid? how could she be desperate for a guy that much?  easy. she wanted to all eyes on her. she wanted that spotlight. she wanted girls to be jealous of her. she wanted guys to be jealous of soobin. but all of that came with a price. 

ever since that night occurred she received non stop text messages. they said they wanted to have sex with her again. they sent laughing emojis. they called her a whore. they called her a slut. they asked her how she felt after she’d just done what she did. they took pictures of her. naked. sprawled out. tired. they sent them to her over and over again reminding her of the night she wanted to forget. the night that truly ruined her life. 

she takes her panties off and tosses them into her laundry bin. that would be the fifteenth pair of panties she soiled with blood. she’d wished it was normal girl stuff, like period blood. but the blood wasn’t from her period. 

they told her that if she didn’t have sex with them again they would expose for who she truly was. and if she dared called the police, they’d kill her. and mia knew they were serious. there was nothing that those boys wouldn’t do. she would beg and plead for them to stop but they persisted in their efforts. she was much too afraid to stand up to them in person. so she stood up to soobin. it was his fault after all. 

but when he spit in her face that was the last straw. he smirked like he didn’t care. he smirked like that’s all he wanted for her. he smirked as if he were the one laying there that night feeling hopeless. she saw soobin for who he really was, and he was a monster. she screamed that she hated him, hoping it would mend the shattered heart she had but it didn’t. he slammed the door on her face.

she waited until her parents took her little brother to soccer practice and that’s when she went for it. she took a razor blade and sat on her bathroom floor. she rolled her shorts up until they were up to her upper thigh and wasted no time etching fine lines into her skin. the pain stung worse than bumblebees and it tinged even more when her tears would sink into the lines of blood sitting on her thighs. she dropped the blade back on the floor an picked up her phone. she snapped a photo of her wounded legs and sent them to the boys, asking them if they were happy with themselves. she hoped this would finally get them to stop once and for all. 

but they didn’t stop. instead they laughed and mia could just cry. she scrolled through her contacts and attempting calling one of her friends to keep from wanting to slash her wrists right there and then. she needed to calm down, to talk or think about something other than this. but her calls went straight to voicemail. the only person that picked up their phone was olivia, and mia had already rushed her to come over her house. 

mia was still sitting on her bathroom floor when olivia walks in, being taken aback from all of the blood. she covers her mouth in shock.

“mia? what the hell?”.

“i need someone to help me”. 

“why what happened? why would you do something like this?”. 

mia thinks about it. after already telling them that her and soobin had sex that night she was way too embarrassed to tell the real story.

“i’ve been feeling kind of depressed lately”. 

“what can possibly make you that depressed? you’re cutting yourself now?”. 

mia sighs, tracing her name in the pool of blood that was on the floor. her thighs stung like hell. but she’d rather feel the pain of that than the pain of the boys tormenting her. 

“oh god mia. please don’t tell me this isn’t all over soobin’s dumb ass”.

mia stared at her. “you wouldn’t understand”. 

“come on! really? are you really cutting yourself over some guy?”.

“it isn’t like that olivia”. 

“no seriously! have you been dumb your whole life?”.

mia looked at her sharply. “what?”.

“wake up and smell the roses mia! soobin doesn’t fucking like you. he never did. you need to stop being so desperate for attention”. 

“for..for attention?”. mia stutters.

“yes. that’s only reason you’d cut yourself right?”.

“olivia who the fuck cuts themselves for attention?”. 

“you would, obviously”. she sassed with her purse on her arm. 

“if that’s what you think maybe you don’t truly know me then”. olivia rolls her eyes. 

“isn’t that what you called me over for? so i can give you attention?”. 

mia gave olivia a death glare. 

“just get the fuck out”. she neverminds. 

“what?”.

“just get the fuck out olivia!”. mia screams until the girl was walking back out of the front door. mia pulls her knees to her chest and weeps silently letting her tears make their way into her cuts. 

♡━━━━━━ ◦ ✤ ◦ ━━━━━━♡

“thank you for staying with me. have fun at service tomorrow”. soobin smiles to you in the passenger seat. you had to go home because your parents would never allow you skipping sunday services. you wished you could stay longer with soobin. 

you pout a little and he kisses your lips. “what’s wrong mahmah?”. he asks. you collect your items off the car floor, trying not to blush at the pet name. 

“i want to stay”. soobin smiled a little, it felt good to know that you needed him just as much as he needed you. “your parents will mutilate my body and throw me in a ditch if i kept you tonight”. you laugh opening the car door. he watches you walk to your house and decides to flirt with you while you were on your way there. 

“yo! beautiful! what’s your number?”. 

knowing it was soobin you turn around and laugh. as you were walking backwards you yelled the numbers out loud before reaching your doorstep. “you should text me sometime!”. you said, as if you didn’t know him. soobin smiles until you close the door behind yourself. 

he chants the numbers in his head over and over until he was safely in his house and had the time to pull out his phone. he started to dial it in the keypad but there was a persistent knock on the door that only got louder each time. soobin was nervous if it were his parents. they always find something to complain about. he made sure everything was up to par before he pulled open the door. surprisingly, it wasn’t his parents. to his dismay, it was olivia. 

“what the fuck are you doing here?”. soobin scoffs, she holds her hand up and scoffs back while rolling her eyes like the diva she was. 

“don’t start soobin. what happened with mia?”. 

“what are you talking about?”. 

“she’s at her house right now saying that she’s depressed or something. what did you do to her?”.

“me? don’t blame that shit on me. that bitch is crazy”. 

“don’t try to act like you’re a saint. i know you had something to do with it”. 

“shut the fuck up olivia. why are you even here? mind your fuckin business sometimes”. 

“I’d mind my business if you were’t going around school acting like a shit head to people. if you didn’t like mia you should’ve told her that”.

“I don’t have to tell her anything because guess what? I don’t owe her shit. and I don’t owe you shit either. get the fuck off my doorstep”. olivia raises her hand but soobin grabs it in the nick of time. 

“don’t you dare lay your fuckin hand on me”. mia brings her face closer. 

“stop talking to me like that you fuckin idiot”. 

“i’ll talk to you however the fuck i want to talk to you and you’re not going to do sh--”. olivia pushes aside her pride and forces her lips onto soobin’s. Soobin widens his eyes and pushes her backwards. He pushes her hard enough to the point where she fell off of his doorstep. 

“what the fuck are you doing?! are you crazy?”. 

she fixes herself and rubs her fingers over her lips. 

“oh wow. i guess i see why girls are so obsessed over you now”. she smirks while getting up and sashaying to her car. soobin looked at her as if she was crazy. he slams his front door trying to forget about what just happened. 

he presses the facetime button and makes kissey lips until you answer the phone. now settled you smiled at him, making sure to turn your volume down as low as possible while the both of you talk the night away. 

you guys had been talking all weekend you thought something took over soobin honestly. because bright and early on monday morning his car was parked outside of your house. of course he was beeping his horn and smiling like the idiot he was. “what are you doing here so early? school doesn’t start for another hour”. you ask. 

“come on we’re going to get breakfast”.

he was smiling so hard you wanted to tell him to stop being a creep or a weirdo, but you couldn’t while he was looking that cute. you were grateful that the pain in your knee started to go away gradually. but of course this didn’t stop soobin from carrying you on his back until you were safely sitting in the booth of the nearby diner. “soobin put me down!”. you scream playfully.

he slides across from you still laughing while he plucks up the menu. it was creepy but you stared at him while he read it. 

“soobin?”.

“yes?”.

“are you feeling alright?”.

“yeah why do you ask?”. 

“you look...happier”. 

soobin laughs. 

“what? did i look sad before?”. 

“no you just looked.. different. you looked cold all the time. and you never smiled unless one of your stupid friends was telling you a joke”. 

“i’m glad to see that you were paying so much attention to me”.

you roll your eyes, scooping a piece of ice out of your water cup and throwing it at him. he dodges it laughing. 

“oh shut up. i hated you. i just heard about you too much so it was hard not to pay attention. everyone else was anyways”. 

“you hated me?”. 

“yes”.

“what about now?”. 

he smirks and your face immediately grew hot. you were lucky the waiter was approaching your table. you settled on a couple of waffles and some eggs while soobin of course, orders the whole damn menu. 

“we’ll never get out of here on time with you eating all of that. and your don’t need any syrup or ketchup you’re going to make a mess”.

soobin rolls his eyes and smiles. “I’m not going to make a mess. I swear”. he promises. but what did he do as soon as his food came?

he made a mess. 

and he was just eating through it as if it weren’t there. you couldn’t take it though. you snatched a couple of napkins from the table dispenser and dipped them in your water.  “let me see your hands soobin”. he gives you his hand and watches you scrape the the syrup off of each of them like so. it was endearing to him in a way. his mother would never do anything like that. soobin doubted that she even cared enough. 

“see look at your shirt. you promised you wouldn’t make a mess”. “I didn’t” soobin retaliates before looking down at the ketchup splotch underneath his collar. you grabbed more napkins and went to the other side of the table where he was. you went behind him and wrapped your arms around his neck while you tucked the top of the napkins into his collar carefully, making him look like he had on a bib of some sort. he sure needed one though. 

“see? there. if your food spills it will go straight on the napkins so you won’t get your uniform dirty”. it was things as simple as that that made soobin fall in love with you. before you pulled away he clutches your wrist and rubs it. he tilts his head up peaking into your eyes. By this point in time you recognized that look. It never got old though. It was never cliche. It made your heart race every single time. 

so you gave him what his eyes were begging for. you kissed him.

honestly, you think you loved him.

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Fifty-Two

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: Wee bit of angst.

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

The Friday before he was going to Florida, Christin came into Harry’s office to go over the small details.

“Okay, so you, Julia, and I are going to meet at the airport around-“

“I’m sorry, who?”

“Julia.”

“Why is she comin’?”

“I want her to see how these expeditions work. Dana’s going to join in on the next one. Why? Do you have a problem with her?”

“No…it’s just…I don’t know. It’s fine.”

When he got home to the barren apartment that night he slammed the door shut, making you jump slightly.

“Jesus.” You say to him.

“Sorry.”

“What’s wrong?”

“They’re sendin’ fuckin’ Julia with me.” He groans. “I don’t want to be alone with her all week.”

“Well, you won’t really be alone with her.”

“You don’t care that she’s gonna be around me?”

“What’s there to care about?” You shrug. “What’s wrong Harry, can’t handle a little girl?” You smirk. “You’ll be fine.”

//

Of course you got your period the weekend of the big move. You and Harry were still able to have a good romp before he left, but it wasn’t the same. Your brother and mom came to help you with everything. Thank god for his truck. Niall, Sarah, and Rachel helped as well. Everything went pretty smoothly.

//

Harry had the aisle seat on the plane, Julia had the middle, and Christin had the window. He hadn’t said much to Julia. She eventually fell asleep, and her head landed on his shoulder. He tried to nudge her off, but she wouldn’t budge. He sighed loudly and tried to fall asleep himself. When she woke up she couldn’t help but marvel at just how beautiful he was. She looked at the pearls around his neck and wanted to know what he might do with them when he wasn’t wearing them. She was hoping to find out at some point during the week.

Harry helped carry the luggage out to the cab Christin had set up for them. The second he was alone in his room he FaceTimed with you. Everyone was eating pizza and laughing.

“Hey babe! You in your hotel?”

“Yes, finally. How’d it all go?”

“Amazingly! Say hi to Harry!” You yell off to everyone. They all say hi, making him chuckle.

“Have a great week off.”

“Anything you want me not to touch?”

“Nah, do whatever you like. M’sure there’ll be plenty left for me when I get back. Save the heavy shit f’me.”

“Can do. The girls are gonna sleep over here with me tonight.”

“Oh good. Wish I could be there.”

“Soon enough. Enjoy the nice weather! Love you!”

“Love you too.”

He sighs and flops onto the bed. This was going to be a very long week. There’s a knock on his door. He looks through the peephole and sees Julia. Here we go. He thinks to himself.

“Yes?”

“Hi.” She squeaks. “Um, Christin and I were gonna go down to the pool for a bit and get some lunch. Would you like to come?” He looks down at her. She had flip flops and a cover up on.

“No. Thanks. You can just have Christin text me when it’s time for dinner. Know she wants to go over all the plans then.”

“Could I have your number?” Both of his eyebrows raise. “You know, just in case.”

“Gimme your phone.” She hands it to him and smirks when he see the picture of Joe Jonas as her lock screen. “My girlfriend loves this guy. Could ya unlock it?”

“Oh sure.” She presses her thumb to the button. He adds his contact information and hands it back to her.

“For emergencies only, alright?”

“Alright…so you’re not going to eat lunch?”

“I might come down in a bit. I’m certainly not goin’ swimming. S’not a vacation.”

“True, but Christin said we could have some fun before working hard all week.”

“How nice for her. That all?”

“Yeah.”

He closes the door, practically in her face, and goes over to his bag. About an hour later he goes down to the hotel restaurant. He puts his sunglasses on and goes outside with his salad that he had made to go. Christin was lounging under an umbrella, he goes over to her and sits down.

“How are you wearing all black?”

“S’not that warm yet.” He shrugs.

“I think it’s perfect weather.”

“Where’s Julia?” Christin points to the hot tub. Harry rolls his eyes. “Thought you weren’t hungry for lunch.”

“I wasn’t earlier, now I am.”

“Hi Harry!” Julia says walking by, dripping wet in a purple two piece. She quickly wraps a towel around herself.

“Hi.” He says without looking at her. She was an attractive girl, and if he was a different type of man he wouldn’t hesitate to take advantage of the situation. But he wasn’t like that…not anymore anyways.

“Wasn’t it your birthday over the weekend?”

“Yes.”

“How was it? How old are you?”

“It was good, I turned twenty-six.” He takes a bite of his salad. “My girlfriend threw me a huge surprise party.”

“She buy you the necklace too?” Christin asks. “Haven’t seen you wear pearls since you first started.”

“Yeah she did.” He smiles. “She’s the best. We’ll have been together six months on Friday.”

“Wow! Good for you, H.” She chuckles.

“How long you and Dan been together?”

“Little over ten years now. Never thought I was going to meet anyone worthwhile until he and I got together.” He nods.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m never going to meet anyone.” Julia says.

“You have so much time, you have no idea. Just enjoy being young.” Christin says with a smile. “Harry, did you even bring a bathing suit with you?”

“I mean Y/N had me pack one, but I doubt I’ll be wearin’ it.” He finishes up his salad and stands up. “Text me when it’s time for dinner, I’m gonna hang in my room for a bit, decompress.” Julia watches him walk away.

“He’s been so private since I met him, it’s so nice to hear him talk about someone like that. He must really love that girl.”

“Yeah.” Julia puts her sunglasses on and rolls her eyes. “Must be nice.”

//

That night at dinner Christin goes over the plans for the week. She tells them what time they’ll need to be up and out, and headed to the site. They’d be going out to an island where a weed had been taking over and the natural plants of the landscape couldn’t grow anymore. Julia would be interviewing the volunteers that go out to get rid of the weed.

“I’m so excited!” Julia says stepping off the elevator with Harry. Of course their rooms were on the same floor.

“Make sure you pack a hat and some sunscreen for yourself. Oh, and water. We’re goin’ to be out for a long time.”

“Right, thanks.” She beams at him. “I’m excited to check out the butterfly garden at the manatee habitat Wednesday too.”

“Yeah, they’re nice people. This is a follow up piece, they started the project last year.” He stops at his door. “Well, this is me.”

“Goodnight, Harry.”

“Night.”

He calls you immediately.

“Is that Harry? Hiiiiii Harryyyyy.” He hears Sarah say through the phone.

“Gettin’ drunk in our place already?”

“Wouldn’t be a proper sleepover now would it? How was your day?”

“Long. I miss you already.”

“Awww. I miss you too baby.” He hears the girls make kissy noises through the phone. “Stop it you guys, be cool! Sorry.” You giggle.

“S’okay. Where are you all sleepin’?”

“We’re camping out in the living room. We all brought our sleeping bags.”

“Oh fun.”

“Mhm. You gonna be able to sleep?”

“Hopefully. I just wish I was there with you, I’m sorry.” He sighs.

“It’s okay. Only six more sleeps til your home.”

“Oh I like that. Six more sleeps.”

“Exactly. I’m gonna go now, I love you. Sweet dreams.”

“I love you too.”

//

The next morning, Harry puts on a white t-shirt, and lathers himself up with sun screen. He puts on a snapback and rests his sunglasses on the collar of his shirt. He packs the cameras and batteries he’ll need. He goes with a pair of light blue jeans and his boots. He meets Julia and Christin down for breakfast. Julia has to stop her jaw from dropping. The t-shirt looked snug against his muscles, and she could make out more of his tattoos. He looks at what Julia’s wearing.

“You might wanna wear pants. Don’t want your legs gettin’ scarped up do ya?” He puts his things down and goes up to the buffet.

“He’s right Julia. You can pack your shorts with you if you get too hot.”

“Okay.” She leaves to go change. Harry sits back down.

“How nice of you to act as her big brother.”

“Just helpin’ her with the tricks of the trade.” She comes back in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. “Much better. You’ll thank me later.”

The three head out to the site once they’re done with breakfast. They take a car out and meet a man at a dock. They have to take a small boat out to the island. Harry puts his sunglasses on. Julia can’t help but watch the curls from under his hat blow in the wind.

Christin and Julia talk with the volunteers at the site while Harry starts walking around. He begins snapping away. Julia was thankful she listened to Harry about everything. From the pants, to the hat, to the extra sunscreen. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head when he took his shirt off. He tucked it into the back of his pants and continued taking pictures.

“Oi! Chris!” She whips her head to look at him. “Couldja spray some lotion on my back?”

“Yeah!” She hustles over to him and sprays the cool lotion onto him.

“Thanks. Sweatin’ my ass off.”

“I know.” She looks at her watch. “Let’s take a break and get you into the shade a bit. I packed some lunch.”

“Sounds good.”

“Julia, c ‘mon it’s lunch time.” She says to her.

The three sit in some shade and eat the sandwiches Christin brought. Julia can’t help but stare at Harry. He looks up and catches her gawking at him.

“You act like you’ve never seen a tattoo before.” He says to her.

“Sorry.” Her face blushes. “Um, when did you-“

“Got ‘em all years ago. Late teens and early twenties.” Harry’s phone buzzes and sees a text from you. He immediately smiles. You had sent him a video of the kitchen. He hits play.

“Hi! Okay, so I unpacked most of the kitchen. My mom helped a lot yesterday. Our bed is all made up too, but I can show you later. Isn’t it so nice in here? The girls were really jealous. Hope you’re having a good time! Please make sure you reapply your sunscreen, I don’t want you burnt to a crisp when you come back. Love you!” He chuckles and texts you back.

“Is she your mom or girlfriend?” A snide remark from Julia. Harry looks over at her slowly and squints.

“Nothin’ wrong with her checkin’ in. She loves me and wants me to be safe.” He gets up. “In fact, I’m gonna go send her a video a quick.”

He walks away so neither of them can hear him. He shows you where he is. When you get the video you can’t help but just stare at his sweaty torso. He looks really cool with the snapback and sunglasses. You text him immediately with a kissy face.

“Alright, let’s get back to it.” Christin says.

Harry grabs his camera and walks around the vegetation more. Julia got all she needed for the article that needs to be written, so she decides to follow Harry around. She watches the way he snaps the photo and looks at it to see if he likes it. He knew she was following him, but he didn’t mind. Maybe she just wanted to observe.

“Here, what do you think of this one?” She leans in to look at the upclose shot.

“Really cool! It’s crisp.”

“Mm.” He agrees. “Hey, I think we have everything we need.” He says to Christin.

“Let me look through.” He hands her the camera, and take his shirt out of his pants to put back on. “Oh these are amazing! I knew I was smart to bring you. I can’t wait to get you into that butterfly garden Wednesday.”

“What are we doin’ for the next couple of days?”

“Your favorite; under water shots. These same people are deploying oysters near the coast in this bay to help stop the erosion.” A smile grows on Harry’s face. “You’d be pissed if I did this without you, now wouldn’t you?”

“Maybe a little. And technically, my favorite shots are at night.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let’s head back to the boat.”

//

That night you decided to have a glass of wine while organizing some boxes. You didn’t want to go through too many of Harry’s things. You stumble upon a smaller box that said “X Photos” on it. Were they pictures of ex-girlfriends? Your buzzed curiosity takes over and you open it. You gasp when you see the first photo. It was of Harry. Only he was fully naked, lying on the floor, his legs leaning up against a wall, tastefully covering his manhood.

“Oh my god.” You say to yourself. “Who the fuck took these for him?”

You sit down and go through them. There were dozens more. He looked good, really good. The pictures didn’t look too old either. You were amazed at how the camera captured every curve of his beautiful body. Then there it was. A picture of him holding his fully erect penis with a smirk on his face. You realize the x on the box meant it was rated x.

“Jesus.”

Your eyes dance over the way he grips himself, and you need to put it down before your mind wanders. There was a more serious photo behind it. There were a couple of him wearing boxers too. He looked like an underwear model. Despite them being so revealing, the pictures were gorgeous. The lighting was perfect.

“Where did he take these?” You squint at one photo. You sort of recognize it and you gasp. “His flat in London.” Your phone goes off and you nearly jump. A FaceTime request from Harry. “Shit.” You put the pictures away quickly and answer the phone. “Hey babe.”

“Hey!”

“You looked cute earlier.”

“Thanks. And I didn’t get sun burnt. Got a nice tan comin’ along though.”

“Can’t wait to see it.”

“You look a bit flushed, are you alright?”

“Um.” You look back at the box. You weren’t sure if you should tell him about finding his very personal photos. “Okay, I wasn’t snooping through your things, but I found some photos…of you.”

“Oh?” He furrows his brows trying to think. “Oh! The naked ones?” He had zero shame or embarrassment.

“Yeah.”

“Good, was hopin’ you’d find those.” He smirks. “What’d you think?”

“They were gorgeous of course. Who…took them for you?”

“I took ‘em myself. I was home for a few weeks last summer and I was bored. I had just gotten a new lens, and I was testing out some black and white effects.”

“And you had them printed?”

“Printed ‘em myself too. I had gotten a fancy photo printer.”

“You were…hard in a few of them.”

“Mhm.”

“Why?”

“Don’t know, I was just havin’ fun.”

“Oh.”

“Was that your favorite?”

“Actually, this one was.” You go into the box and take out the first photo you saw.

“Oh yeah, there’s some left to the imagination with that one.”

“You should seriously just be an underwear model.” He chuckles. “I’m serious.”

“I know you are.” He smirks at you.

“What?”

“Nothin’, just thinkin’, like, would you ever let me take pictures of you like that? You know, tasteful ones?”

“Like a boudoir thing?”

“Sure. We could set the loft up all nice, and the pictures would just be for us.”

“I’ll think about it. I feel like I would be so awkward.”

“I’d tell ya exactly what to do. Totally professional.”

“Has someone ever paid you to take boudoir photos?”

“God no. Although, I have taken a few pictures of some naked pregnant women before.” He laughs.

“So, how was your day?”

“It was good. I’m going under water tomorrow, I’m actually kind of excited.”

“Oh that sounds like fun!”

“Yeah…I wish I could go to sleep with you.”

“Me too. Bed feels too big when you’re not there.”

After some more chatter, you both hang up, and you go do your nightly routine. Just as you’re getting into bed, you get a snapchat text from Harry.

“What in the…” You open it.

Harry: textin ya on here so the messages disappear.

Your cheeks heat up. He was in the mood.

You: Alright

Harry: I’m really fuckin hard

“Jesus.” You feel your lower stomach twist in knot.

You: oh? Just from seeing my little face?

Harry: yes

You: are in bed?

Harry: yes

You: would you like to know what I would do if I were there?

Harry: enlighten me

A wicked grin grows on your face as you dial his number.

“Hello?” He says chuckling.

“Hey, I just thought of something fun and I thought you might like to hear my voice as I say it.”

“Alright, lay it on me.”

“I have a challenge for you, and I’ll do the same so you won’t suffer alone.”

“Okay?”

“I don’t want you to touch yourself at all while you’re gone.”

“No way, it’ll be easier for you since you’re on your period.”

“I usually get off in the shower without telling you.”

“Jesus, don’t tell me stuff like that.” He groans as his cock twitches. “Why do you wanna do this to me?”

“Because imagine how fucking good it’s gonna feel when you come home. Please?”

“What will I get as a reward? There’s gotta be a really good incentive here.”

“Reward? Babe, I’m going to let you fucking annihilate me when you get back.”

“Fuck.”

“But that’s only if you do as I ask, okay? We’re on the honor system here.”

“And you’re not gonna do anythin’ either?”

“Nope.”

“Alright, challenge accepted.”

“Sweet dreams, hope you don’t wake up with sticky sheets thinking of me.” You giggle and hang up.

//

By mid-week you were really starting to miss Harry. It wasn’t like you could just go hang out with Niall or your other friends during the day because they all still had to work. There was plenty to do in the apartment, but you didn’t want to do any of it without him. You decided to spend some time getting a jump on your assignments for class. There was a big research paper you had to do, and now was as good a time as any to start it. Niall said you could come over for dinner that night, and you were excited you didn’t even have to drive to go over. You loved your new place, but you knew you’d love it more once Harry was home.

//

Harry was exhausted by the time Wednesday rolled around. He spent two days diving under murky water just to get some pictures of oyster shells in bags. He got some great shots, but fuck, at what cost? He’d be spending the rest of the week at the manatee habitat. He wasn’t super thrilled.

“This is beautiful!” Julia exclaims, stepping into the butterfly garden. “Harry, do you think we’ll see any manatees?”

“Probably not, they’re not usually here this time of year.”

“Oh.” Her smiles slowly fades.

“But, um, you can certainly look. There could be some.”

Christin was inside the building talking to the couple of people that worked at the habitat. She walks out with them and Harry wants to blow his brains out.

“H, you remember Molly and Beth right?”

“Sure, hi.” He shakes both of their hands. He had slept with Molly last time he was here. Not super professional, but so it goes.

“So glad you’re back.” Molly says to him. Julia comes walking back over.

“Ladies, this is Julia, she’ll be interviewing you for the next couple of days.”

“Great! Should we start with the garden?” Beth asks.

“Sure!” Christin and Julia follow her. Harry fiddles with his camera.

“How you been?” Molly asks him, her cheeks flushed.

“Good, really good. How ‘bout yourself?” He takes a test shot of a tree. “So fuckin’ bright out today, wish it was overcast.” He says to himself. She raises an eyebrow at him. “Less shadows when it’s overcast, can get a clearer picture. I’m gonna have to fuck with all the settings.”

“You’re a talented guy, as I recall.” She winks at him and walks to catch up with the others.

Once he gets things how he likes, Harry starts snapping shots. The benches in the garden were painted a vibrant blue. He thinks of you, knowing you’d love the color. He takes his phone out quick to take a picture to send to you. He gets a reply immediately and smiles big, then puts his phone away.

“What do you suppose made him smile like that?” Molly asks Julia. She sighs.

“Probably his girlfriend that he’s gaga for.” She rolls her eyes.

“Girlfriend?” She watches Harry squat so he can take a picture of a butterfly that’s just landed on top of a flower. “Damn, that’s too bad.”

“Why’s that?”

“Oh, nothing, never mind.” She shakes her head.

Harry comes walking over to Julia and Molly.

“Where’s Chris?”

“Inside with Beth.”

“Right, well she has all the water.”

“Thirsty, Harry?” Molly was trying to be cute with him, but he wasn’t having it.

“I can get it myself, but thanks for offerin’.” He says sarcastically, brushing by her.

“Pleasant as ever.” She crosses her arms.

“Did, um, something happen between you two?”

“Not super appropriate to talk about while on the job.”

“It’s off the record.” Julia jokes.

“Yeah, when he was here last year we hooked up. And I’ll be honest, I still think about it. He, uh, really knows what to do with it.”

“Did you stay in contact at all?”

“Nope, he totally ghosted me after he went home. Don’t blame him though.” She shrugs. “I mean, I didn’t expect a long distance relationship or anything. But I am disappointed that he’s not single. Wouldn’t have minded picking up where we left off.”

Harry comes back out with his Julia’s water bottles. He hands it to her.

“Thanks Harry! I could’ve gotten it.”

“I know.” He smiles at her. “This one wants to see a manatee, could ya walk her around and show her where they usually are?”

“I’d be happy to, come on Julia. The habitat is pretty big.”

Julia mouths thank you to Harry and he nods. Selfishly he was happy to be alone in the garden to walk around and snap shots as he pleased.

“He seems to like you.” Molly says to her.

“He was just being nice. He’s not always so nice though. He can be kind of snippy, but also mysterious.”

“Definitely mysterious.”

“I have a huge crush on him, it’s so hard.” She looks back at him.

“Look, it’s not like he’s married.” She shrugs. “It’s okay to flirt a little.”

//

“Harry these are beautiful! Well done!” Christin says looking over the days’ worth of shots. “Can’t wait to come back tomorrow so we can get some more.”

“Thanks, beautiful garden. Very tranquil.”

“You both ready for some dinner? There’s a restaurant around here we can go to.”

“Sounds great.” Julia says.

The three end up at a bar and grille.

“Okay, so, as a rite of passage, we’re ordering the fried alligator.” Christin giggles. “I know you won’t eat it Harry, so we’re also getting the fried pickles.”

“Fine.”

“Why fried alligator?”

“Because we’re in Florida and it’s a tradition when we come down here.”

“The girls at the habitat were really nice.”

“Yeah, they were great to us last year. Harry even got a private tour of the area.” He chokes on his drink. “Remember? Molly took you for a drive to some other sites.”

“Yup, I remember.” His cheeks started to turn a light pink.

“So, what’s your new place like?”

“It’s massive. Two bedrooms and two full baths. And there’s a loft. Not entirely sure what we’re gonna do with it yet. She said I could use it as a home studio, but I think we should just both put our desks up there and have it as a more formal working space. We’ll see.”

“That’s great, H. Sorry all this got in the way of your move.”

“S’okay, she was really understanding.”

“Julia, any boys come into your life at school?”

“Not this semester since the internship is full time.”

“You must still go to parties and hang out with friends though.”

“Oh I do…no one’s really caught my eye. Guys my age can be really immature.”

“Take it from me, guys at every age are immature.” Harry gives her a look as he scoffs. “It’s true! That’s why I opted for an older man. Hubby’s got five years on me, that’s why it worked. Our maturity levels are the same. You’re older than Y/N, right Harry?”

“Yeah, but only by a year and half.”

“Still, older is the way to go.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Julia says.

//

After his shower, Harry couldn’t wait to settle into bed with his book. He had cranked the A/C and got cozy in his favorite joggers and a t-shirt. Just as he was getting his glasses on, there was a light tap on his door. He sighs heavily and goes over to the door to see Julia.

“Yes?”

“I didn’t…I didn’t know you had glasses.” He pushes them up like a headband to rest on the top of his head.

“They’re for readin’.” He crosses his arms. He looks down to see her holding some toiletries and some pj’s. “What’s all this?”

“My shower doesn’t have any hot water.”

“Didja give it a minute?”

“Gave it like ten minutes, just wouldn’t heat up.”

“So…why are here?”

“Could I use your shower?”

“Go use Christin’s.”

“I can’t, she wouldn’t answer her phone. She must’ve passed out after dinner. Please, Harry?”

“Alright, fine. But make it quick.” He lets her into the room.

“Thank you so much!”

“Should still be a dry towel in there.”

She nods and goes into the bathroom. How the fuck did he get himself into this? He picks up his phone and immediately calls you.

“Hey baby, you ready to read to me?”

“I was…”

“What do you mean?”

“Julia’s in my shower.” He whispers.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“She said her hot water wasn’t workin’.”

“And yours was?”

“Well…yeah. I hope she fuckin’ leaves right after. I don’t know what kind of game she’s playin’.”

“Oh, you’re paranoid.”

“I don’t know, this seems weird.”

“Harry, she knows you’re in a relationship, she’s not going to try anything funny.”

“Not everyone’s a nice as you.” You sigh.

“Look, it’s not like I can come down there and save you. Do you wanna stay on the phone with me so she leaves right away?”

“No…I think that’ll make it more awkward.” He hears the water turn off. “Shit, I think she’s done. At least she listens.”

“What?”

“I told her to make it quick.” He sighs. “I’m gonna turn the TV on. I’ll call you back in a bit.”

“Alright.” He hangs up.

He flips the channels to see if anything good was on. Reruns of The Simpsons, that’ll do. He hears the door click open, she comes out in a tank top and shorts. Her hair was down and still pretty wet, causing the top of her shirt to get wet.

“Were you talking to someone?”

“Hm? Um, yeah, I was just on the phone quick.” She looks at the TV.

“Anything good on?”

“Just The Simpsons.” He sighs.

“Oh I love The Simpsons!”

“Aren’t you a little young to love this show? You probably don’t get half the references.”

“Some of the older episodes are a little confusing, but for the most part I just think it’s funny.” She sits on the corner of the bed, and Harry inches backwards.

“Listen, um…”

“Is it okay if I hang out for a bit? These nights have been a little boring and lonely. I can only check my social media so many times.”

“You can stay for one episode, but that’s it. I’m pretty tired…been out all day in the sun ya know?”

“Alright, thanks Harry.” She turns around to look at the space next to him on the bed. “Do you mind if I-“

“You can sit in the chair if you’re back hurts sittin’ like that.” He points to the chair near the desk in the room. She sighs.

“That’s alright, I’ll just sit like this.” She shifts to lay on her stomach, propping her face up with her palms. Ass fully on display for him. She knew exactly what she was doing.

Harry pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. He tries to just concentrate on the TV. It was a pretty good episode too. He finds both him and Julia giggling at certain parts.

“Harry?” She turns to look at him, laying on her side.

“Hm?”

“Did you always know you wanted to be a photographer?”

“No…it was just a hobby for a long time. When I got to uni I took an intro photographer course and realized it was what I wanted to do.”

“You do a lot of freelance work right?”

“Mhm.”

“Does that get tiring on top of all this?”

“Yeah, sometimes.”

“What types of-“

“Why are yeh askin’ me all these questions?”

“Just trying to get to know you better…I’ve been working for you for nearly two months and I feel like I don’t know a single thing about you.”

“You don’t work for me.”

“I work with you…I know Isaac really well, even Myk at this point. She’s gotten a little nicer. I think she was happy I got sent here instead of her.”

“She wouldn’t have wanted to be on a plane with me for three hours, that’s for sure.” He smirks.

“Did you two used to date?”

“I think that’s enough with the personal questions.”

“That’s a yes.” She smiles.

“We didn’t date.” He sighs. “Sometimes when you’re young and stupid…you do stupid things.”

“You’re still young, Harry. Really young.” She giggles. “Remember the day you said I could just call you Harry?”

“Um…”

“I actually kind of miss just calling you Mr. Styles.” Yup, he knew exactly what she was doing.

“Julia, I-“

“And you thought my name was Julie, that was so cute. You could’ve called me whatever you wanted, and I probably wouldn’t have cared.” She laughs. Harry looks at the clock on the night table.

“Look, it’s gettin’ late, and I’m supposed to call my girlfriend back.”

“That was her earlier, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. And I need to call her back.”

“What’s so important?” He sighs heavily.

“She is.” He gets off the bed and walks towards the door. “You came here for a shower, remember? Should I call maintenance for you tomorrow so this doesn’t happen again? Or will everything be miraculously fixed?” She gets up and stands near him.

“You think I lied about my shower being broken? Why would I lie about that?”

“You tell me.” He crosses his arms. She swallows hard. “I think you’re a nice girl, I do. I think you have a lot of potential as a writer. But you’re out of your fuckin’ mind if you think I would ever do anythin’ to hurt my girlfriend. So, whatever you thought might happen by comin’ in here, needs to leave your head because it’s not.”

“I…”

“Even if I was single, you’re like six years younger than me, I wouldn’t take advantage of someone like that. Trust me, you don’t wanna fuck someone you work with.”

“But you can fuck the people you see on business?” She crosses her arms. “Molly told me.”

“Of course she did.” He rolls his eyes. “Listen-“

“Stop telling me to listen! I’m an adult, same as you, and I-“

“Really? Because comin’ in here the way you did makes you look like a child, a brat actually. Tryin’ t’get your way. Did you really think a little pair of shorts was goin’ t’be enough to seduce me?” She blinks at him, she feels tears prick at her eyes. “Shit.”

“I just…I don’t know…I really like you, Harry.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Don’t tell me how I feel!”

“But you don’t even know me, Julia.” He puts a hand on her shoulder. “You know some version of me you see at work every day.”

“I’m really fucking attracted to you, I can tell you that.”

“I’m sorry about that, really I am. But it’s just not gonna happen.” He takes his hand off her.

“What does she have? What makes her so goddamn special?”

“For starters, she’s out of undergrad and has her life together.” He knew what he said would slice right through her, but she needed to hear it. “I can’t really explain the rest of it. I quite literally think she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life, she brightens my day just bein’ herself, and I love every little fuckin’ thing about her, even her less than favorable qualities. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and I hope to god you meet someone that makes you feel the same way too. It’s the most amazing and awful feeling at the same time. If I were to lose her, especially over somethin’ like this, I don’t know what I would do. A quick fuck isn’t worth it, and maybe someday you’ll learn that. And honestly, shame on you for comin’ in here and tryin’ to make somethin’ happen when I’ve told you time and time again how in love I am with her.”

“I’m sorry, okay! I know I was wrong.” He sighs again.

“I forgive you. Look, I’m happy to be friendly with you, give you any advice I can about the job, whatever you need, but that’s where this ends, that’s where the line is, alright? I know how a lot of people at the studio look at me. I see it on Isaac’s face every mornin’ when I walk in, and I see it when I look at some of the other people. Don’t you think I feel bad? It’s partially why I keep my distance. I don’t want to make anything worse for anyone else.”

“But that adds to it! The mystery is so sexy.” She laughs. “When I say that out loud I just sound pathetic.”

“You’re not pathetic, you’re a girl with a crush…and I’m sorry I can’t return your feelings.”

“It’s not your fault.” She sighs. “I’m really sorry about all of this, I made such a fool out of myself…”

“It’s okay. Let’s just move on, yeah?”

“Okay. Well, I guess I’ll go now. I’m really sorry again, I didn’t mean to spoil your night.”

“Don’t think much of it, not spoiled at all.” He smiles at her and opens the door.

“Can you not mention any of this to Chris? I, um, lied about texting her.”

“I assumed so, and yeah, I won’t tell her.”

“Thanks…you’re really cool you know that?”

“Goodnight, Julia.”

“Night.”

He closes the door and locks it. He wants to scream. He can’t believe he just had to lecture her like it was his child or something. He jumps to the bed and FaceTimes you immediately.

“It’s about time, I was just about to fall asleep. Did she just leave?”

“Yeah…she made a pass at me.”

“What?!”

“Well, nothing physical…but she was wearing really short shorts and said something like how she missed just calling me Mr. Styles…so I gave her a stern talking to and had her leave.”

“A stern talking to from Mr. Styles.” You giggle.

“This isn’t funny! She thought I was goin’ t’fuck her.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t.”

“I would never.”

“I know that.”

“You really weren’t worried about her at all?”

“Harry, you’re a big boy, and more importantly, I trust you. You said you’d never do anything to hurt me and I believed you. What we have is solid, I know you wouldn’t risk it just for some college girl’s loose vagina.” He bursts out laughing.

“Not exactly a woman supporting another woman are yeh?”

“I don’t have to talk nice right now, she just tried to get into your pants.”

“Wish you were here to get into my pants.”

“How are you doing with the no touching?”

“I’ve refrained, just like you told me to. It’s fuckin’ torture.”

“It’ll be worth it, I promise.”

[courageous-she]

Stolen Kisses (Part IV)- H.O

Harrison Osterfield x Holland!Reader

Summary: The fun can only last so long...

Warnings: Some language, mostly angst and fluff

Word Count: 1425

a/n: Wow I truly do suck at updating my works, but here she is in all her glory!

Masterlist

...

Harrison woke up early the next morning, wanting to treat you to breakfast in bed. He was cherishing every second that he got to spend along with you this weekend. Having to hide his girlfriend from his best mate was extremely difficult, and it only makes it harder with you being Tom’s younger sister. But waking up next to you in his bed solidified his feelings for you even more. You looked absolutely beautiful and he pinched himself every day knowing he got to hold you in his arms.

Harrison currently stood in the kitchen, preparing various breakfast foods to take into you when you woke up. He was only praying that you wouldn’t wake up before he was done. But he’d left the door to his room slightly open, allowing him to keep an eye on you in case you did wake up early. He was so distracted in the kitchen that he didn’t notice the front door being unlocked and your two brothers making their way inside.

“Cooking us breakfast, Hazzy?” Harry joked, sitting at a barstool in front of where Harrison was cooking. Harrison looked up, shocked, and stumbled to find words. He quickly glanced between his open door and the twins causing Sam to peek into the bedroom. Luckily, the way you were sleeping was facing away from the open door, meaning your brothers couldn’t quite tell who was in Harrison’s bed.

“Got company I see,” Sam remarked with a grin plastered across his face. Harrison just continued to stutter out a response as he quickly went to shut his bedroom door, careful not to wake you still. Harrison knew that Sam and Harry had a key to his and Tom’s place, he just didn’t think that today, of all days, they would choose to use it and walk in on him. What if he had been walking around the flat naked? It is his house after all and Tom’s not around.

“What are you two divs doing here?” Harrison whisper shouted through gritted teeth. This really messed up his plans and he just prayed that you stayed asleep until he could get the twins out.

“Wellllll, we were going to ask if you wanted to come into the city with us today, but it seems you have other plans” Harry joked, looking back to Harrison’s now closed bedroom door. Harry stood from the barstool and patted Sam’s shoulder, “Guess we’ll catch up with you some other time, mate” he said. The two were just making their way to the door when they heard a small squeak from behind them.

Harrison cursed under his breath, knowing that it was you making your way out of the bedroom. There was no time for him to warn you before you groggily made your way into the kitchen, revealing yourself to your younger brothers.

“mm, smells good Haz I’m actually quite hung-” Your sentence ended abruptly as you noticed your two brothers standing at the front door, mouths agape. You stood in shock and fear wearing only Harrison’s shirt and shorts. You didn’t quite know how to react or what to say and Harrison was no help just standing in the kitchen looking back and forth between your brothers and you.

“What the bloody hell is going on here?” Sam asked, motioning between you and Harrison. “Have you been fuckin’ our sister!?” He asked suddenly, moving toward Harrison quickly and clearly angry. Harrison put his hands out to keep some distance between him and your brother, sputtering utter nonsense in an attempt to defend himself. You quickly jumped in between the two boys, not wanting either of them to regret what could happen.

“We are not having sex!” you shouted quickly, pushing Sam a safer distance away from Harrison. Harry pulled Sam back a little further in an attempt to calm him down slightly. Harrison stepped behind you, placing his hands on your hips to let you know he was with you. “For fuck's sake, Sam, what would it even matter to you if we were?”

You were still worked up slightly, emotions getting the best of you. This was exactly the type of reaction you were afraid you’d receive upon telling your family, and especially your brothers, about your relationship with Harrison. However, at this moment, you clearly had no choice but to come clean to your two younger brothers.

“Harrison and I are dating.” You sighed, “We’ve been dating for about a month and we weren’t planning on telling anyone for about another month.” Harrison squeezed your waist to let you know that he was still there and could step in when necessary. You seemed to be handling this pretty well though, so he kept his distance.

“A month!? You mean to tell me the two of you have been secretly hooking up for a month and haven’t told anyone, not even Tom?” You could tell that Sam was still heated about the situation, and clearly annoyed that you had been hiding your relationship.

“It’s not like that mate” Harrison stepped in, stepping next to you but maintaining his hold on your waist, “We’ve been falling for each other slowly over the years, but on New Year’s we kissed and it changed everything. We’ve gone on a few dates and done nothing more than kiss. We’re taking this slowly because we want to make sure it’s the real thing before we tell everyone.”

“Especially Tom. We wanted to tell Tom when we were ready, so you have to promise us that you won’t tell him.” You pleaded with your brothers, looking between both Harry and Sam. Harry nodded in agreement, feigning sympathy for the two of you, but Sam was still lightly fuming.

“I swear to God, Harrison Osterfield if you so much as hurt my sister-” Sam spoke through gritted teeth.

“I won’t hurt her mate; I couldn’t even dream of it. If I’m being honest here, and I haven’t quite said this out loud yet, but I think I love you” Harrison was now looking at you, directly at you as if you were the only person there in the room with him. You smiled up at him, squeezing his hand to reassure him.

“I love you too, Haz” You leaned up and gave him a soft kiss only to then hear groans from your brothers in the background.

“Well if the two of you are going to be dating and doing all that gushy love stuff, there’s going to have to be a few rules,” Sam said with a disgusted look on his face.

“Yeah, like you can’t be snogging in front of us, that’s just bloody weird” Harry chimed in. Both you and Harrison laughed at your brothers’ disgust. It definitely felt a little lighter in the room with some of the awkward tension gone.

“Fine, we will absolutely discuss ground rules with you, but not right at this moment. Haz and I were hoping to have a relaxed weekend alone without sneaking around, so if you wouldn’t mind…” You hinted, hoping they would get a clue and leave.

They made their way to the door, still slightly confused and uncomfortable at the fact that you were dating their longtime mate. However, they understood why the two of you waited to tell everyone but were a little hesitant on the fact that they couldn’t tell Tom about your relationship.

After the two boys left, you and Harrison both let out a deep sigh, relief washing over the two of you that that was over. “Well, I was going to surprise you with breakfast in bed, but I think it’s gone a bit cold,” Harrison said, slightly sad that his morning hadn’t quite gone as planned. You smiled, placing your hands around his hips and your chin on his chest smiling up at him.

“That’s alright love let’s order take away instead and watch a movie. I need something to take my mind off of what just occurred” You spoke gently, easing his mind and calming his nerves even more than he thought possible.

“I think I can help with that.” And with a cheeky grin, Harrison through you over his shoulder and made his way over to the couch. The two of you spent the day lounging around and watching Netflix. Occasionally the conversation moved to telling your families and how exactly you would tell Tom. But those conversations went as fast as they came, with both of you just wanting to focus on each other.

Tag List: @dottierose // @snowflakebarnes

[hockeybabestars]

New Year, Same Us - Auston Matthews - Eight

a/n: im going out of town for a football game/visiting friends this weekend and i’m not bringing my computer so i thought i would post this early for yall!! thank you to every person who has been keeping up with this story and liking or reblogging! you mean so much to me! i hope yall enjoy the longest chapter of new year same us, to make up for the shortest in chapter seven (yikes!) we’re almost through with this story yall! we have a lil flashback in this chapter! (in italics) and finally have the prompt that started it all! (in bold)

September 18, 2018

Austons P.O.V

“Aus?!” She yelled from her room. “Are you almost ready?” 

I had been ready for 20 minutes and was sitting on our couch waiting for her to finish up. “Yeah I’m ready now!” I rolled up my sleeve to get a better look at my watch, “are you almost ready? It would look really bad if my plus one made us late.” I snicker as I heard her heels clack, the light to the hallway going off simultaneously.

 I got up from the sofa as she entered, and boy, was I going to have to keep an eye on her tonight. She looked stunning. The light pink dress cinched her curves in all the right places, and her hair was in waves. She was like something out of a dream. She didn’t bat an eye as she went to the kitchen looking for the keys. I came up behind her and dangled them in her face, and before she could snatch them I pulled them away. She reached for them again but I held them behind my head, and suddenly she was all too close to my face. I glanced down at her lips, wanting to kiss them badly but then I quickly diverted back up to her eyes. “You look stunning (Y/N).”

I could feel her breath hitch against my own lips and the minty flavor of her gum hit my nose before she smiled genuinely, her signature smile where her lips tilted a little crooked at the corners, and it made my heart flutter. “Thanks Aus, you don’t look too bad yourself.” 

She stepped away and we did a once over of our apartment, making sure we didn’t forget anything. I grinned and opened our front door for her, watching her walk as she went. I locked the door and we went down the hall towards the elevator, “just out of curiosity,” she toyed with a strand of her hair, eyes flicking up to me through long lashes, “how much did your suit cost?” She was smirking at me and I couldn’t resist really. “Wanna bet on it?” The elevator dinged for us to get on and she rolled her eyes, “do I even have a choice?”

“No use fighting at this point babydoll.” I flashed her my signature smirk as the floor indicator ticked down.

“Does that really work on girls?” She played.

“Apparently not on you.” I laughed but deep down I kinda hoped it did.

“It’s because I know you better than you know you.” She stated matter of factly. She did though. That was the scary part. We hit the first level and strolled out, before she added thoughtfully, “did you want it to work on me?”

I felt my cheeks flame, and was thankful she was walking slightly ahead of me, “uhh,” I faltered before gaining my confidence back, “depends on if you wanted it too.” 

She stopped for a split second, giving me a chance to catch up before she continued walking, this time leaning into me a little bit, “maybe.”

My heart jumped at that, “Still wanna make that bet?” I opened the car door for her. She thanked me and I hopped in the drivers side.

“Am I betting high or low.” She gave me side eye as she buckled her seat belt and we were off.

“What do you think?” I grinned. There’s no way she gets this. “Do you know your suits? What brand am I even wearing?” I smiled. 

I could feel her eyes on me as mine were on the road, and she reached over and ran her finger down the lapel of it, feeling the fabric. I tried to concentrate on the road but she was leaned over the console examining the details of my suit, looking for anything that would give away the designer or price. I needed to think fast, I could tell this would be a long night already and it hadn’t really even begun. 

I swatted her hand away, “hey stop it! that’s cheating.” I smiled and looked over at her as we hit a light. She placed her palm flat against my chest as she mocked me, pulling her lower lip into a pout. I could feel my heartbeat pick up and surely she could too.

 “Just seeing what I have to work with Aus.” The nickname melted off her tongue like butter and really I only like it when she says it anyway. The light flashed green and I grabbed her hand off my chest, entwining our fingers together and resting them over the middle console. “I’m betting high, what like $7,000? Is that too much for a suit? What is it Gucci? Aren’t you like their poster boy or something?” 

I laughed at her accusations and she squeezed my hand a little too hard. “Ow! Jeez woman that hurt. Those are my money makers!” 

She swatted at me again, “sorry not sorry. Isn’t like half your closet Gucci or something. I feel like I should know this but I’m really drawing a blank here.”

A smile crept up onto my face. She’s cute when she’s thinking too hard. She always over thinks or over-analyzes everything. It’s like it’s written in her DNA or something.

She looked over at me and I attempted to keep a straight face, “it’s Gucci isn’t it.” I nodded. “$7000 close?”

I kept a tight lip. She turned towards me, “it’s fuckin higher isn’t it!!!” Her voice raised towards the end and I burst out laughing. 

“$10,000.” Her jaw dropped, “what do I get since you couldn’t guess it?”

“I can’t believe you spent $10,000 on a suit.” She was in awe, “that’s like a trip to Europe, or a down payment on a car, what are you psycho?”

“Are you really belittling me right now?” I chuckled, “you guessed $7,000 that’s just as high!!!” 

“Yeah but-“

“But what? $7000 okay to drop but $10 is too much?” Her face went blank as she tried to process it and I howled as her eyebrows knit together. She was something else.

“I hate you.” She fought to keep the smile off her face.

“Your mouth says otherwise.” She covered her lips with her hands as we pulled up to the venue, she finally pulled them off as we valeted the car. And as we walked into the rustic barn I elbowed her a bit, grinning wildly, “seriously though, what’s my prize since you didn’t guess right?” 

She linked our arms as we tried to figure out where we were sitting and smirked at me, “Bragging rights.”

“I bet we could make it a little more interesting.”

“Oh of course you bet huh.”

“You owe me a dance.”

She pouted. “Aus-“ 

“Nuh-Uh. We’re dancing later, it’s the least you can do.”

I can tell she wanted to press me further but instead she just nodded, “Okay.”

“Wow, I didn’t think that would be this easy. I need to win bets more often.” I knew how much she hated dancing. It was because she had two left feet and literally tripped over herself on any normal day. She didn’t like to embarrass herself. The truth was, she wasn’t a bad dancer at all. She could dance fine by herself, especially after a drink or two. But she was clumsy enough that partner dancing wasn’t really her thing. I always try to get her to at weddings and events but she doesn’t budge. She's stubborn as hell, but it’s why I love her. She doesn’t change for anyone. Not even me. I always ended up finding some random bridesmaid to dance with at these things, but tonight she was mine. 

We wandered further into the barn stopping for a few pictures together before the ceremony as Paige snapped away on her phone and a film camera as well. Mitch and Steph found their way to us too and soon enough we had group pictures with the six of us, then guys, girls, and finally as we finished up it was about time to find our seats. 

The Tavares wedding was really going to be something. Greenery was everywhere and there was a modern feel to their set up even with the more natural elements. I put a hand on (Y/N)’s lower back and guided her to our seats on the grooms side. We were in the middle back and slid into the refurbished white bench with ease, the rest of our group following suit, filing into the row after us. I wrapped an arm around the back of (Y/N)’s seat as she crossed her ankles, leaning into me while we waited for the ceremony to start. A comfortable silence settled over us and somehow both our free hands found each other on their own accord. Soon enough she was playing with my fingers, clasping and unclasping them, tracing the outline of my hand and holding our palms up to watch our hands align. It was something we had done plenty of times before. Whenever we got bored or were watching Netflix or at family events. It was inevitable that our hands would meet. Her hand was a lot smaller than mine, and we quietly played a game of thumb wars before the loud chattering settled down. I could hear the preacher say to rise, so I gently grabbed her hand in mine and lead her up. She was still leaning into me as we waited for the bride to make her way down the aisle. 

John and Aryne chose to say their own vows although short and sweet. It was nice. Being here, celebrating them. (Y/N) was the perfect wedding date. She was classy and reserved when needed but could definitely open up and make conversation with anyone who approached her. And soooo many people approached her. Which was crazy because she was the plus one. But that’s just (Y/N), stealing everyone’s heart the way she stole mine. 

It had to be obvious at this point. I thought my incessant flirting and annoying her every chance I got would be enough to give her the hint, but apparently not. I thought that living together was another sign that maybe I was kind of into her but she just took it at face value since it was the most logical option. I think I really realized how I've felt this past May. I mean, it was there all along, but I didn’t admit it to myself until then. She started hooking up with some random guy at college, and when I walked into some kid in our apartment it made my stomach lurch. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that sick in my life.

I had talked to her earlier in the day. We were on a long road trip in the west and I was excited to get back and see her. 

It felt like maybe things had been changing between us lately, and I wanted to get back and test the waters a little just to see if she even felt a tiny bit the same. It was easy with her. I missed her like crazy, constantly texting to see what she was up to, and sending snapchat updates of what the boys and I were doing, just because I knew she would send a picture back and I could see that gorgeous face again. 

Our flight was delayed because weather in Toronto was pretty bad.  And we didn’t end up landing till pretty late. I texted her when we landed at 12 that I would be home soon. I never got a response so I figured she was asleep. 

What I didn’t expect, when I came home at 1am on a Saturday, was some random guy going through the cupboards in our kitchen with just his boxers on. 

“Uh who are you?” I had a sour taste in my mouth.

The guy looked up from his position on the floor, going through the bottom cabinets and I swear almost shit himself. “Oh my god you’re Auston Matthews.” I frowned. Oh jeez a hockey fan, how rare in this city! He shook his head in disbelief and stood up, walking over to me and put his hand out for me to shake. I took it, begrudgingly. “I’m Reese, it’s really nice to meet you, although I never thought it would be like this.”

I scoffed, but he didn’t seem to notice. He found (Y/N)’s post it notes on the kitchen island and pulled one off handing it to me, “do you think you could sign this for me?”

“What the hell is going on here? Reese I thought-” (Y/N) ‘s voice sounded a little groggy, like she might’ve been sleeping, but when she came out of her room, only clad in black lace underwear and a t-shirt I presumed to be his, my breath caught in my throat. One because she looked damn good. And two because she was wearing his clothes and practically nothing else. I felt a fire in my chest. I swallowed hard and tried to remain neutral. 

When she finally realized I was home her eyes went wide. “Oh, uh, hey Aus.”

“(Y/N) you didn’t tell me your roommate was the Auston Matthews.” This guy was still here?

She uncomfortably glanced over at me. Yeah me too. “Uh roommate? Try best friend.” I said smugly.

“I didn't see a reason to bring it up.” She said. Ouch that hurt.

“Sorry Reese bro, but I’m gonna have to ask you to leave, I really need to get to bed and I’m sure your friend (Y/N) here can fill you in on all the dirty details later. Have a great night.” I walked past them and into my room, shutting the door. Trying to get ready for bed without my head exploding from everything that just happened. I waited until I could hear him leave before I went and knocked on her door.

“What Matthews?” I opened it slightly and peered in, leaning on the door frame and watching her fix her bedding a bit, now in another old t-shirt. 

“Matthews huh? Can I come in?” She nodded and crawled under the white comforter patting the spot next to her. I sat down on top of it before rethinking this whole situation. “Actually can we go to my room?” I wasn’t really comfortable that they just fucked in here and wasn’t too keen on sitting in the bed that someone else got to touch her in. 

She nodded and as I grabbed her hand, I felt tingles. I didn’t dare to look behind me as I lead her to my room. We crawled under the covers and sat against the headboard.

 We stared up at the ceiling a bit before she turned to me. “You’re so dramatic.” 

I looked over to her and I could tell she was slightly upset. “But I know that’s not exactly the most fun thing to come home to and I’m sorry.”

“S’okay. Were you ever gonna tell me you were kinda seeing someone?” My jealousy got the best of me, and I couldn’t help but let it seep into my voice a little as I ask.

“No not really, you never tell me when you do...So.” She shrugged, and I tilted my head back a little, groaning.

“You don’t tell people we’re friends either?” It sucked knowing that maybe she was ashamed of me for whatever reason. I always told everyone about her. I loved to talk about her and how proud I am of her for working hard in college and her internship which she officially secured, and just being the amazing, kind hearted person that she is.

“It’s different… I- I don’t tell strangers or people I just met or at least until I have a grasp on their personality. I stopped doing that a long time ago. I can never tell if they want to be friends with me, or have a relationship with me, for me or to get to you.” 

“Oh.” It sucks, but it makes sense.

“Oh. Is right. Also I don’t want people to be up either of our asses if they're just clout chasers.” She smiled, shaking her head as I laughed, “Just not how I want to spend my time.”

I sighed, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to kick him out, that was just weird and I wasn’t expecting you to have company and-“

“Auston. It’s okay. I should’ve warned you in some way, or gone to his place. Maybe this whole thing could’ve been prevented. I’m the one who’s sorry. That situation was pretty awkward.” I don’t want her at some guys place. I want her with me.

I grabbed her hand and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. My stomach churning as I did so, “Stop worrying. Don’t be sorry either. We good?” She nodded and entwined our pinky’s. “Always.” And with that she slipped out of the darkness of my room and back down the hallway to hers. And my heart ached with every step.

Maybe I wasn’t doing enough, maybe I just needed to be upfront. 

I took a swig of the beer I was drinking and set it back on the table as I watched her converse with Steph, Paige, and Aryne, Probably complementing the bride on her gown and the allure of the wedding.

Pretty soon we were eating steak, mashed potatoes and wedding cake, and my stomach was all too full when the bride and groom shared their first dance. I looked to (Y/N) to see her swooning at John and Aryne adoringly. She was facing the back of her chair, hands resting on the back of it, and chin resting on her hands. “Don’t you just love those two together?” Her nose crinkled. It was really cute.

I stood and held my hand out to her as other couples started to join in on the dance floor. She looked up to me, eyes slightly glazed from her glasses of champagne, but I knew she was at a good level. Sober enough to make good decisions, buzzed enough to have a good time. “Are you gonna dance with me?” My heart felt like it was racing as I waited for her answer.

She took my hand so I took it as a yes. I lead her out to the dance floor, Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran coming on as we stopped in the middle. She wrapped her arms around my neck and my hands settled on her waist, pulling her close. My stomach churned with nerves and a little bit of excitement. I looked down at her, her head on a swivel, looking everywhere but me. Other people are looking at us and her brow knit in confusion. Her hand was burning a hole where it was placed flat against my chest. 

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” I touched her forehead lightly, then bringing my hand back down and wrapping it around her waist securely.

She looked back to me, eyes widening, “It’s nothing.”

“You know you can tell me anything right?” I tried, pulling her back into me as she slowly tried to pull herself away. “That’s what friends are for. And hey, quit trying to leave me!” I laugh, grinning. “Were kind of in the middle of that dance you owe me.”

She smiles back softly but glances around the room again, this time almost self consciously. “It’s just that… I don’t know- I don’t really know how to say it without sounding weird.”

“Are you okay? Is something wrong? You know nothing you say will ever sound weird to me? I’m pretty sure we’ve been through it all.” I leaned my forehead against hers and try to ease her mind but she seems so off. I don’t know what happened because everything seemed normal when we first got here.

She took a breath and pulled back a little looking right at me, “Everyone thinks we’re a couple.” I could see the nerves riddling her features and it made me curious as to why. It’s not what I was expecting, but it made me grin, “I know.” 

“You know? It doesn’t bother you?” Her nose scrunched again.

“Should it? Does it bother you? I mean, personally I think I could do worse as far as fake lovers go, but…” She playfully shoved me and we fell right back into place, swaying as the song went on melodically.

“It really doesn’t bother you?” She seemed unsure, but avoided my question nonetheless, looking up at me as if the only answer I could give would be yes. That it does bother me. And that couldn’t be further from the truth.

I shrugged trying to play it cool, “why would it bother me?”

 “I don’t know…” She looked away, back to the surrounding crowd as the song changed. “You’re Auston Matthews.” She huffed. “You can get any girl you want. Wouldn’t people believing that… we’re an item… wouldn’t that get in the way?”

I grabbed her hands in mine, looking down at them. She instinctively clasped them together and my heart warmed as I glanced back up at her. “That’s just the thing.” We had stopped dancing at this point, and I’m pretty sure we were in the way of people trying to dance, but I didn’t mind. “You don’t see me as the Auston Matthews. You never did. You just see me as Auston Matthews, your extremely good looking and talented best friend.” I smirked.

“Way to ruin it.” She laughed.

I gently pulled her closer, “you see me as the dumb kid who broke his arm at your eighth birthday party, and the horrible friend who spilled punch on your prom dress, and the annoying son of bitch who always tries to force you to dance. You never see me as someone who’s untouchable,” I grab her hand and place it over my heart, “you always touch me.” She looked as if she lost her breath, eyes swirling with emotions. She carefully removed the hand that was over my heart and stood still for a second. She looked back up to me meticulously, “let’s get some air yeah?” I let my hand rest on the small of her back and nodded as she lead the way out, one step ahead of me. My heart was pounding in my chest.

I couldn’t be more grateful for the little piece of privacy that we had out here. The air had turned slightly cooler, and I could see her shiver a little, although she would never admit she’s cold. I shrugged my suit jacket off anyway as we walked along the outside of the barn. The sun was starting to go down and the chill in the air picked up. I wrapped my jacket around her shoulders, and used it to pull her in closer to me. 

She muttered a thanks and I sucked in a breath. Now or never Matt’s.

But she turned to me sharply, beating me to the punch, “you can’t just say stuff like that you know?” 

“Why not?” Her eyes met mine and the wary look on her face told me what I needed to know. I know what she’s thinking. And she means more to me than anyone. She must know that. She has too.

“You could never get in the way of anything (Y/N).” I tucked a lone strand of hair behind her ear as her eyes sparkled and flickered up to mine. “It doesn’t bother me because I don’t want just any girl.” I toe around the subject, hoping she can figure it out before I have to say it outright.

“Well, what do you want Aus?” I want you. Don’t make me say it. Don’t make me ruin a good thing (Y/N). I don’t want to lose us.

My eyes flicker down to her lips. I close my eyes and lean in a little, nudging her nose with my own. Slowly but surely closing the gap between us. I could feel the electricity radiating off her, our lips barely touching before I heard a voice coming from the door. We broke apart, wide eyed, hearts racing, both looking to see who joined us outside.

Kappy looked drunk. And Paige looked like she was dying from laughter. They spotted us and made their way over. I looked back at (Y/N), her cheeks flushed and managing to look anywhere but me, although my arm was still wrapped around her. She leaned into my touch as they approached.

“Youuuuu guyssss.” Kap slurred and Paige just seemed to notice the position we were in.

“Uh Kappy needed some air, but I see you guys did too.” She grabbed his hand and tried to lean him into her for leverage. “We’ll just let you guys have some privacy.”

(Y/N) turned her face into my shoulder as Paige tried to shove Kappy back into the reception. I looked down to her and laughed. She did too, bringing her face out of my shoulder. I would’ve tried to recreate the moment but it seemed like it was lost as she grabbed my hand and tugged me back inside. “C’mon Aus, we should get back.” And I had no choice but to follow.

[ladyshandioftheendless]

~KISS AU writings 7~

OH BOY I’D BEEN WANTING TO WRITE THIS FOR A WHILE. Sometimes putting ideas together can be such a bitch.. >_> Here’s hoping this is at least halfway decent!

~Shandi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~MODEL AU~

Featured Pairing: Bruce Kulick/Paul Stanley

Special Guest: Peter Criss

Summary: Bruce is passionate about making a name for himself the field of photography. Unfortunately for him one of his first big assignments is a photo shoot with Paul Stanley, the ‘impossible-to-work-with’ model. (told from Bruce’s POV)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One chance. That was all I needed.

I had already submitted my portfolio to about half a dozen galleries but none of them expressed any interest. I was getting frustrated. Feeling defeated. Looking at my camera every day and asking myself ‘what the hell was the point?’ This day and age people aren’t falling all over themselves to become photographers. They needed real jobs. To pay for things. To live. Sure, I had my music to get me by. I liked playing my guitar at local clubs and bars. Being asked to come back over and over because people loved me. Taking pictures was just a hobby and I hoped to make it into a full time career. But life has a way of making you face reality in the harshest ways. Living in L.A. was expensive after all. I can’t keep my apartment by taking pictures. 

Saturday night after I come home from playing at a club I see the light on my answering machine flashing. Can’t be a business call. Nobody except my mother and occasionally my brother call me on weekends. I’m thinking of just pressing the button to erase the message but something is stopping me. Guess my curiosity is way too strong. So I press the button to play the message back instead. I actually feel my heartbeat speed up as the tape rewinds. When it finally plays I hear a voice I don’t recognize. 

"First of all I’m used to talkin’ to actual people so be thankful I didn’t just hang up. You must not want a job that badly if you’re not answerin’ your phone. 323-855-1220. I’m givin’ you a day to call me before I write you off."

I was at a loss for words. I had to rewind the tape and listen to it again to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. This guy definitely didn’t beat about the bush. And that accent..unmistakably Brooklyn. I grab a notepad and a pen and write down the number. I wish I could just call right now but it was probably too late. Or was it? I had no idea what his hours were but at the very least I could let him know that I got his call. What did I have to lose? I pick up the phone and dial. I’m not really expecting an answer. Two rings later someone actually picks up! 

"This is Criss. Talk to me."

His tone catches me a little off guard. “Um..this is..Bruce Kulick? You called me and left me a message?” A short silence. 

"Oh yeah. Called back earlier than I expected. I like you already. I’m gonna get straight to the point. I got sent one of your portfolios. Good colors, nice angles. Looks like you know what you’re doin’. Think you can shoot people the same way?"

“You mean..a model shoot?” 

"Yeah. We’ve been looking for a photographer for my best model. We’ve already had to fire four of ‘em cause he didn’t like ‘em."

Wow. Sounded like a full scale diva. “If you’re willing to take a chance with me I can do it.” 

"That’s what I like to hear. Come to the Catwalk Studio Monday at 9 am. 75 Santa Monica in West Hollywood. I’ll introduce ya and we can get started."

“T-Thank you, Mr. Criss! I’ll see you Monday!” 

"Ciao~"

I’m way too exhausted to jump for joy but I sure as hell want to! I can’t believe my luck! This could be my big break! I’ve got busy days ahead of me~

I spend all of Sunday cleaning my equipment and placing everything in their cases. If I’m going to shoot a model I need to look as professional as possible. I put together another portfolio just in case. I’ve taken more pictures of objects and landscapes than people but I did have quite a few really nice crowd shots that might impress. Going through my closet I set out some of my best clothes for the morning. As night falls I decide to turn in early. Setting my alarm, my mind starts racing in anticipation for the morning. I wish it would stop. I need to go to sleep! 

At 7 am I’m wide awake. I guess my body couldn’t wait to get the day started, not that I can blame it. I’m excited. I’m nervous. I just want everything to go right today! I shower, get dressed, have breakfast and pack all of my cases into my car. As I start the engine I hope to God that there’s not much traffic. 

The drive to West Hollywood was relatively uneventful which was a damn blessing. By the time I find the studio it was 8:45. I rush to grab my cases and get inside. The woman at the front desk looks up and smiles at me. “Good morning, sir and welcome to Catwalk Studio~ How can I help you?” I place my camera case on the desk. “Good morning~ My name is Bruce Kulick. I’m supposed to meet Mr. Criss at 9 o’clock?” She flips through her appointment calendar. “Oh yes, Mr. Kulick! Just have a seat. Mr. Criss will be out soon~”  I smile at her and sit in a nearby chair, watching the clock like a hawk. At precisely 9 a door at the end of the hallway opened. Out stepped a man dressed in a pristine black suit. His long black hair was streaked with gray and he wore green tinted glasses. He was much shorter than me but..he had a presence about him that was instantly intimidating. That has to be him. 

I get up from my seat when he approached the front desk. “My next appointment here, Lydia?”

“Yes sir, Mr. Criss he’s right behind you~”

He turned to me, putting on a smile that was 100% business. “Good! I prefer it when they’re early instead of on time. I’m sure you’re lookin’ forward to gettin’ started.” Of course I nod. “Yes sir! The sooner the better~” He places a hand on my back and guides me down the hall. “Then lemme introduce ya to your model. Gonna warn ya right now. Don’t let his looks turn you into putty. He’s good for business but he’s a pain in my ass. Don’t let him sass you. He’s the one doin’ the work for you, not the other way around. Get me?” I nod again. This guy really sounds like a piece of work. I just hope I can follow his advice and not blow it. 

As we approached the entrance to the studio a frustrated woman was storming her way out. Mr. Criss immediately frowned. “What’s going on? You’re supposed to be doing his hair.” She huffed. “I’m sorry, Mr. Criss but he won’t let me do it! He says I’m giving him split ends and that he can do it better himself! I’m done arguing with him. I’m going on break, sir.” And off she went. Mr. Criss sighed, taking his glasses off to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I swear if he wasn’t so fuckin’ pretty I’d kick him to the curb. Look..if you wanna back out I’d understand.” He looked terribly frustrated. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. “No, sir. I want to help in any way I can.” He patted my shoulder. “You’ve got the patience of a saint, Kulick. You’re gonna need it with that one.” He leads me into the studio and I set my equipment down. “Yo, Diva Star! Got your new photographer here!” I chuckle at the nickname. I’m sure it’s well earned from what I’ve already heard. The model seemed to be much too busy taming his fluffy curls with a ridiculous amount of hairspray to turn away from his mirror. “Ugh..can you please not call me that, Petey? I am not a diva!” 

“Yeah..and I’m the Queen of England. Now get over here!” 

He turned..and  I could swear I felt my heart stop. What Mr. Criss told me about his looks was the understatement of the decade. He was gorgeous. That face..that body. He looked like he was born to walk a runway. The way his hips moved when he walked was hypnotizing. Mr. Criss��� voice was the only thing that snapped me out of my trance. “Bruce, this is Paul Stanley. Paul..do me a big fuckin’ favor and don’t drive this one off like you did all the others.” Paul just pursed his lips as he scrutinized me. “Hm. Maybe I just won’t this time. He’s kinda sexy~” 

I think I’m really going to like this job~

To be Continued!!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 126: Introduction

Previously on BnHA: We caught up with the villains for a spell and shit was wild. Twice brought in a new guy by the name of Overhaul who apparently has yakuza roots. Tomura’s group was under the impression that he wanted to join them, but Overhaul informed them he had grander intentions -- now that All for One is gone, he intends to make himself the new ruler of the underworld. In other words, he’s a challenger to Tomura’s as-yet-not-very-established throne. Tomura’s group predictably didn’t take to this very well, so Overhaul fucking blew one of them up by way of persuasion. Tomura in turn disintegrated one of Overhaul’s own men because why not, it’s been a while since we had anything really gruesome and shocking in this manga so hey! So in the end it was kind of a draw, and Overhaul left after telling Tomura to give him a call. Back at U.A., Deku and Mirio dropped by to chat with All Might, presumably to set up an internship for Deku.

Today on BnHA: Aizawa announces that the first year students will be allowed to do internships. Deku asks All Might if he can introduce him to his former sidekick, Sir Nighteye. All Might says no, partly because he thinks it’s too dangerous, but mostly because for some reason he thinks it will be awkward. But after some imploring from Deku, he gives in and asks for assistance from Nighteye’s current intern, Mirio. Mirio agrees to introduce Deku to Nighteye. A few days later the two boys travel to his office. Mirio warns Deku that although Nighteye is famous for his stoic demeanor, he actually has a hidden side that prizes humor above all else, and Deku will have to make him laugh in order to win his favor. Deku meets Nighteye and promptly contorts his face into some bizarre All Might impersonation. But Nighteye seems less than impressed.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 155 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

so we’re opening with Aizawa talking about the possibility of the first year students doing internships

he says that the majority of the faculty, including the principal, were like “nah that’s crazy”

(ETA: oh so now y’all care about the safety of your students, huh)

so all the kids are like “what?!” because they were just starting to get really into the idea

also Kaminari is playing with Ojiro’s tail. just cuz it’s there and he can

meanwhile Bakugou is like “HAHA SUCKERS” because he wouldn’t have been able to do the internships anyway lol

(ETA: Bakugou is in like three scenes in this entire arc, and one of them is a flashback. I’m just gonna enjoy this while I can. here’s his obnoxious shit-eating grin.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH YOU LITTLE SHITHEAD)

but now there’s a “however” coming from Aizawa’s direction!

oh snap

sorry Bakugou

you’ll have your license in a few months and then you can go back to Best Jeanist’s agency (PLEASE??!) or wherever else you want to go and you’ll be all caught up in no time

I’m glad the teachers gave it such careful consideration, too. this seems to be an unusual amount of deliberation from a school which until now has mostly stuck with the philosophy of “just throw ‘em right into the deep end and see if they sink or swim”

so now over in the staff room, Deku’s asking All Might if he’ll introduce him to “Sir Nighteye” for an internship

Ectoplasm is in the background thinking about how he wants to go to karaoke. just making a note of that. this man is clearly pent up and he wants to sing some damn Journey songs goddammit

(ETA: this was mentioned in his bio back in the extras for chapter 61. “favorite thing: karaoke.” I’m so curious about this. why does he love it so much. who does he con into going with him. Hounddog and Vlad, probably)

oh shit look at this man not playing any favorites

damn. harsh

he says he’s not doing it just to be mean, and of course not. All Might doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. so why, then

apparently there are three reasons!

reason one, he was one of the teachers that were against it. he thinks it’s too dangerous right now with the recent resurgence of villains

(Midnight’s in the background saying that internships have always been risky, though, and that the school should support the students who still want to go. fuckin’ love Midnight, man)

reason two, he says Deku should strengthen his shoot style first

now Ectoplasm and Cementoss are also chiming in with their two cents, in addition to Midnight (and Thirteen) from the previous panel omg. and All Might’s face loool

IT TAKES A VILLAGE, ALL MIGHT

oh my god

I love this man so much

haha. all of these reasons actually suck though. he’s just feeling overprotective at the end of the day isn’t he. and also that last one. awk

but we all know Deku has been extremely fired up recently, and this appears to be why:

(ETA: “honestly, if Bakugou told you to go jump off a bridge would you do it?” “pshh! no. that’s ridiculous. ...how high a bridge?”

heh. is that too similar to the roof thing to be funny. should I just shut up. whatever I love them)

my god I love their relationship so much

and since they’re in a room filled with other U.A. staffers, all Deku says is “my quirk is very similar to All Might’s” (HINT HINT. WINK WINK), and he thinks that if he works under Nighteye he’ll be favorably compared to All Might

and he’s bowing imploringly and says he needs to become stronger

special attack: Guilt Trip Smash omg

All Might looks to possibly be having a change of heart. but he says he still can’t be the one to give Deku the introduction

he can’t, but...

so I assume this is where Mirio comes in

Mirio is REALLY PSYCHED to have been summoned by All Might himself. such an honor oh goodness

did All Might not have classes with the senior students before? I’d think that would have taken some of the mystery away from it. but hey, maybe he’s just pumped to actually be able to do him a favor

meanwhile Deku is like “I don’t really understand this situation” and Mirio’s like “HAHA ME TOO”

obviously Mirio is Nighteye’s current intern Deku you boob

see

so apparently he’s been his intern for the past year already

Deku’s really impressed by this

All Might’s asking Mirio if he thinks Deku is up to working under Nighteye

oh my god

Mirio is such a good fucking bro

(ETA: the best bro on god’s green earth)

he’s asking why All Might doesn’t just ask him himself though. he says Nighteye would be thrilled to hear from him

...but All Might says he’s too ashamed to show his face? :(

“in the end... things turned out exactly as he forewarned they would”

I don’t like All Might feeling awkward or ashamed about having lost his powers damn it

should I be mad at Nighteye?? idk right now

(ETA: honestly I can’t really be mad at any of them. which is a bit exasperating for me as a reader having nowhere to direct my frustrations, but also that’s some damn good writing though)

anyway so he’s asking Mirio what he thinks of Deku

Mirio is asking Deku what kind of hero he wants to be. ah, this one’s easy!

oh snap what a great fucking answer

ladies and gentleman, our fucking protagonist. the GOAT

and he was unconsciously clenching his fists in determination while saying it

Mirio’s like wow that’s crazy dude

Mirio you’re definitely knocking on my top ten here. I’m not even sure who it is right now honestly. there have been a ton of great new characters recently. ugh it’s hard dammit

(ETA: if you really want to know, the top six are the same as before -- Bakugou, All Might, Izuku, Aizawa, Ochako, and Todoroki -- followed by Momo, Toga, and then yes, this bright-eyed fella. and then idk. Kaminari, Kirishima, Jirou, Best Jeanist, Iida, Mina, and Sero are all vying for that tenth spot. this series has a problem with its characters being too good.

but seriously it’s Best Jeanist)

anyway, he adds that he’d been thinking about it already since their training session earlier

All Might’s looking pensive :/

what’s on your mind dude

he’s flashing back to his meeting with the Rat Principal that we saw a little bit of back in chapter 121. when RP was telling him he had someone in mind who would be a good successor

and naturally it was Mirio

and now All Might’s watching him and Deku, and thinking about how Mirio would have been the successor if he’d never run into the latter

in hindsight we owe quite a lot to that sludge villain, huh. but those are the kind of little fateful coincidences I fucking love in stories like this. so many what-ifs. what if All Might hadn’t chosen that day to come to Deku’s hometown. what if Katsuki hadn’t delayed Deku’s walk home that day by blowing up his notebook. what if Deku hadn’t fucking grabbed onto All Might’s leg like a crazy person and caused him to drop his villain bottle. what if All Might hadn’t already been close to his limit at the time. what if the bottle hadn’t landed exactly where Kacchan was walking with his stupid middle school lackeys. all these little things that came together. I like it, because when you think about it all it feels like destiny

anyway. not only did I go on a nostalgic tangent there, but I also went back and reread the entire first chapter just now whoops. I’m so easily distracted

so now it’s the weekend!

and the other boys are hanging out lazily having breakfast, but meanwhile Deku’s like

meanwhile these two are also up early, and Todoroki is trying to be friends, but Bakugou doesn’t want to be awake yet omg

(ETA: and off they went, never to be seen again)

haha. I love them

I really really really really really love Kaminari’s bedhead

I want to ruffle his hair and never stop. power him up. static quirk. worth it

now Mirio and Deku are arriving at Nighteye’s office

it’s really nice. Deku is intimidated

Mirio’s reminding Deku that Nighteye has very strict standards. but it appears that Deku is already aware

but Mirio says there’s another side to him that he doesn’t show to the media

he says if Deku doesn’t want to get turned away, then he needs to make him laugh at least once. lol what

apparently Night respects humor above everything else. in spite of his stoicism, or maybe because of it

Mirio says all he can do is introduce Deku and then the rest is up to him

well it sure is a good thing Deku is such a naturally funny guy. always crackin’ wise, that Deku. we’re not fucked at all, no sir

now Deku’s asking Mirio why he’s doing this for him. it’s because he’s just a nice guy, Deku!!

damn, he would have been a great successor. Deku is still the best of course. but wow

there’s a page of Nighteye having a weird conversation with some girl named Bubble Girl who’s only wearing about one third of a shirt

he’s chastising her for not having enough enthusiasm or vigor

damn it’s just like Mirio said huh

holy shit he’s hooked her up to some kind of weird bdsm-y tickling machine what the actual fuck

wowwwwwwwwww okay let’s skip right on past this. just. wow

(ETA: I feel like I know way more about Horikoshi’s fetishes than I ever wanted to. this is easily the single most uncomfortable panel in the entire series and I wish it never existed)

so now Deku is being stared down. and having a dramatic moment where he’s intensely thinking about how far he’s come and that he needs to show him some damn humor!!

Deku just show him your collection of t-shirts with weird shit written on them

or. you could try this I guess

this is apparently his All Might face. this is his best shot

he says a sense of humor is the thing he lacks the most. goddamn, it’s true. EXCEPT FOR THE SHIRTS

lol this response

and now Deku is sweating and Mirio’s thinking “it bombed!” but I actually don’t think it did omg. I think he fucking nailed it

(ETA: boy was I wrong on that one)

but this is the end of the chapter. wow

 bonus:

“the quintessential Japanese to All Might’s quintessential American”

I don’t even know what to think. I’m still trying to retroactively erase the tickling machine from existence by sheer willpower alone. but it’s not working dammit

(ETA: it really was not a good introduction. he makes a much better impression in the next chapter coming up.

I also just noticed that he doesn’t have a real name listed here. is it supposed to be a secret?? why

also is this fucker really going to die. fuck Overhaul so goddamn much. this arc is going to give me trust issues from here on out. any character who’s introduced with too much of an OP quirk is on borrowed time. fml)

[inspired-aspirer]

Z Berg and Ryan Ross Concert Masterpost

hello and I am sorry that I promised to post before Christmas about my experience of flying to LA for the Z Berg and Friends concert where I saw and met Ryan Ross. Here is a breakdown of the night and how it went from what I remember and if you have any questions after I post this I will do my best to answer them and if I cannot I will tell you and perhaps someone who can answer you question better than I.

1. anything before the concert

So I know many of the people reading this are not in fact, from Los Angeles California, and I can say I am not one of those people. I live in the middle of nowhere, better known as the state of Oklahoma. So the trip in and of itself was my Christmas present and cost ten times over the price of the ticket to the concert itself. I decided to purchase the tickets after Ryan Ross posted to instagram his photo of the Bad List shoot with “…Gonna play some new ones” as the caption to his post on 30th November. I then convinced three of my friends to come with me, flying from Oklahoma, Georgia and another from Alabama. We found some cheap ass tickets that ran about $250 each and convinced some family friends to let us use their beach house for a weekend and we were off. The tickets were $15.00 before taxes and fees, afterwards they rang up to be a grand total of $18.21.

It is notable that the tickets sold out prior to the day of the concert so I would recommend with any of Z’s concerts in the future, to buy your tickets weeks in advance to avoid anyone not getting a ticket.

2. the day of the concert

a. before doors open

The location of the concert was at the Pico Union Project which my friends and I looked up the night before to scope out the place. I recommend looking up the places around it if you plan on camping out for the day for a restroom and most definitely pack snacks. I ate lunch at noon and made the mistake of not eating again until 6am the next day which really was not a good thing. So pack snacks and take care of yourself. We got there around 3:30pm and there were already about 30ish people. We just missed Z coming out early to see everyone and take pictures, but nonetheless, we got a pretty great spot in line. I will say that for the most part, all of the people waiting outside the concert were lovely, and we all had a great time talking about what we were looking forward to and where everyone was from. I met some chill locals who had been to these things before, a guy who had been to every single one of Z’s concerts and a girl who, like me, got this trip as a Christmas present and flew with her mom all the way from Massachusetts.

*We all added eachother on insta and facebook so 10/10 quality people.

I will however, point out some things that were not good or respectful, and I hope people in the future will refrain from doing this in the future. 

1. Being disrespectful to people passing by, especially to some of the homeless people we saw walking by throughout the evening. 

2. Wearing new Panic! merch (I’ll get into this later because there was an issue to be dealt with during the meet and greet time.)

3. Playing new Panic! songs while people are trying to listen the pre-show sound check and rehearsals, or just playing new Panic! stuff in general

4. Also I overheard a group of girls say “Honestly, I am more of a Brendon fan, he is sooo hot. And tbh fuck Ryan Ross haha” and I get it, everyone is entitled to their opinion and such but if you are going to have that attitude, please keep it to yourself. I didn’t hear such negativity during the meet and greet from them but it really put me in a bad mood when I heard that.

The doors did open right at 8 o’clock and everyone was really good at staying in their place in line and not rushing the door. Have your tickets ready to scan and phones at full brightness. (Bring battery packs because you will need your phone for a ticket scan and probably for pics of the performances and if you want to meet them later so save it for as long as possible.) Due to our great spot in line we sat in the fourth row back which was prime seating and we had the great luck of sitting behind Z’s family which was really fun to hear them talk about the work put into the show and other fun tid bits. There was even a point when her grandmother said something like “I don’t know why they insisted on leaving so late to get here. I think they should have left early and had a nice lunch before all this” and I thought that was the most adorable and grandma thing to say. Also if you are 21 or older, you can get a wristband for alcohol, if you have your ID out and ready to show them when you first walk into the venue when they scan your ticket. I also recommend getting into the line for merch quickly because things do sell out and the line does take forever. I immediately got in line when my ticket was scanned while my friends snagged seats and it still took me about 20-30 minutes to get everything I wanted. Also I recommend taking cash to buy things, it makes everything go faster.

b. the concert

The concert itself was amazing. Z hosted the entire first half from the balcony in an exact replica of Sharon Tate’s wedding dress as I am sure you have seen photos of. I will confirm, it was magical. She curses like a sailor in front of a backdrop of pure grace. She interacted with he audience the entire time and genuinely enjoys just spending time with her fans and the people that came to hear some good music. The first half of the show was the “& Friends” portion of the show, with majority of the people playing one song each with a few exceptions such as Azure Ray, Jackson Browne, Alex Greenwald and of course, Ryan Ross. 

So throughout the concert, people in the concert/show (idk what I would call it officially???) would come in and out from backstage to watch each other, which I thought was wholesome. Ryan did not come out to watch like everyone else and my working theory is, the one time he did poke his head out the door, first of all, me and like 10 other people saw him, he smiled and winked (I died) and then went back in, after that people stopped paying attention to whomever was onstage and so I think he didn’t want to take away from the other acts performing. It's admirable and I understand why he stayed backstage until it was his time to go and then would promptly exit after his numbers were done. 

In the first half Ryan came out with Alex Greenwald and played the guitar for him. Everyone screamed and cheered despite the wonderfully melancholic mood of the crowd mixed with the beautifully crestfallen music that had preceded them. Alex jokingly said “wow you guys are so nice” after we screamed following the remark someone in the back made along the lines of “I love you Ryan”. Let’s be honest, we were all thinking it and she had the courage to say it. So as far as the number, he sat and played his guitar in a suit that looked one size too big and jet black hair that was perfectly out of place. It was heaven. Following Alex’s song, Ryan ditched the guitar and joined him to sing “Lonely Moonlight” as a duet. He made jokes prior to the song saying they wrote it “18 or 25 years ago”. Alex agreed and laughed to which Ryan amended “actually it was the year 1825 when we wrote this” and the crowed giggled with them. 

What I’m getting at is this entire concert, there were moments when you felt like no one else was around and you are sitting in any one of their living rooms, having a good time listening to them play their music and laugh with each other. “Lonely Moonlight” was beautiful and the hall was silent a part from them, no one dared speak until Ryan smiled and walked off the stage and disappeared backstage again. A few more beautiful songs later, many which Z sang in followed and then there was a brief intermission for approximately 15 minutes. 

The second half of the concert Z came back on stage to the “Overture” from Nightmare Before Christmas and I died. Her voice is literally angelic and I just want everyone to know that while you damn well know that she knows she has the best fuckin’ voice ever, she remained absolutely graceful about it in any duet she did and didn’t try to out do anyone and remained humble the entire freaking time and I’m gonna cut myself off right now because she is my role model. 

*inhales* 

Anyways, so I’m just gonna tell you she brought Ryan on stage with one of the most iconic ways you could bring Ryan on stage, “Um, haha, I think I need a little baby Ryro” *everyone screams* “I do that to when he walks into a room. After ten years it is getting pretty fuckin’ annoying” and he smiled and laughed and everyone was probably either screaming or crying or a combination of both. She and Ryan sang “Calm Before the Storm” together, he just sang with her and she played the guitar as well. After his bit in the song was done, he just walked to the back of the stage and sat on the floor and just smiled at her and did some funny gestures, (Again, I have this on video, I just don’t know how to link long videos in a tumblr post). The crowd was amused by this and it caused Z to turn around to see what was going on, and they laughed. 

Again the atmosphere was pure enjoyment and I wish everyone would get to experience that at any concert. Then he walked off stage while Z said “yeah we just love to watch you walk away” and truer words have never been spoken. The final time he did come out to perform was, of course, for “The Bad List”. 

c. The Bad List

Yes I am giving this one song an entire thing on it’s own because I just have a lot of things to say about this performance of this song. 

First of all, during the soundcheck while we (all the crazy fans) were outside we heard the song resonate outside the walls and the sound was angelic, so you could only imagine what it sounded like inside the venue. 

Second, everything before, during, and after really just was surreal and thank god I have the whole thing on video (and I mean the WHOLE 7.5 minutes) because it is NOT something I want to ever forget. Ryan came onstage, and hugged Z and everyone awed, and then she went into this adorable and heart-warming speech thanking her fans and the people coming out tonight while Ryan tried to move his mic to the other side of her. 

This was hilarious for two reasons. 

First, any footage I have seen of Ryan Ross, out doing normal people things has just been gold because just like the rest of us, I would imagine, he is on the struggle bus every day going nowhere fast. So he had a time and a half trying to move the mic stand along with everything else to the other side of the stage. 

Second, Z was completely oblivious the entire time he was trying his best, to move the mic. Adorable really. He also chimed in at the end of her speech that “She means that it’s all she has been talking about all week” which apparently embarrassed her but let’s be real, she is two perfect and sweet to even think abou tbeing embarassed. Don’t worry, she got him back by calling him out for saying they should turn up the piano “a weenie bit”. Then she announced they were going to sing “The Bad List” and everyone cheered to which Ryan responded with a sarcastic “Wait have you heard it yet?” and yeah, the song began. 

It was divinely depressing. It was perfection.

Videos of the preformance don’t do it justice. We were the first and so far the only audience to hear it live, and everything I did to get there up to this point was worth it. It was the best performance of any song I have ever witnessed. I will navigate this hell site and hopefully figure out how to upload the video without getting copyright to take it down on my youtube channel and link it below so you guys can watch it. 

As many of you know, the song it super personal to them and a few times, you heard Z’s voice break from the truth the lyrics spoke about their life, and when each of them sang, the other really didn’t look at them. It was moving to see the emotion that drove the lyrics to the song and to hear which lines bled the most to each of them. In the piano instrumental part of the song, Ryan broke up the melancholy mood by asking Z to dance with him and they smiled and had a blast (or so it looked). She eventually went limp in his arms to play dead and you could see Ryan laughing at the theatrics she pulled. 

After the song ended, the smiled, everyone cheered, and they exchanged a few words which I couldn’t make out before she pulled everyone on stage for the final number. Ryan, ever the smol bean, walked to the side of the stage and did his best to blend in when everyone else from the evening piled on stage.

d. last number and Post-concert

Ok so I am almost done, I promise. The last number was “All Out of Tears” which everyone came up on stage for and sang with her on. Everyone stood up from thier pews for the last song and everyone clapped, danced, and sang along with her. The guitar and bass from the speakers were so loud that the “Z” hanging above the stage fell down in the middle of the performance, to which Alex Greenwald played the tambourine to throughout the second half of the song. Z promised that she would stay until the very last person got a picture or hug or autograph and wouldn’t leave until then. 

The concert ended on a high note unlike another. 

side note: so I know there is a joke about Ryan not being able to clap, and let me tell you, I made a point to look at the big ass rings he wears all the time when I met him, and yeah it would make me not able to clap normal either. In the video I have of them preforming “All Out of Tears” he at one point shakes his hands and mouths “ow” because I’d imagine his poor hands hurt. So yeah, still funny but give the guy a break.

After a breif break they all came out from backstage and made their way to the Christmas tree. They (Ryan and Z, the rest of the people left before I could get their autograph) kept their promise. Ryan came out chugging yellow red bulls and Z was a new woman after ripping off her straps to her dress (she told me and my friends this). I waited two and a half hours in line to meet Ryan and Z. It was at about two in the morning when I finally got my turn to speak to him. I noticed throughout the evening, he was never short with anyone, and if someone seemed overwhelmed and nervous (@me) he would take a pause, ask for your name and listen intently to whatever that person had to say to him. I was extremely nervous to have him sign any old Panic! merch and I have a few things to say about Ryan Ross and Panic! merch at the concert.

First off, don’t wear it, especially if it is new. Now I am not one for gatekeeping on a lot of things. However, I did see an individual (my hero) make a girl take of a new Panic! lanyard before she went up to see Ryan. It is disrespectful and frankly insensitive for anyone to do that to him in my opinion. The entire time he was patient, and understanding and omg if you ever get to hear his chuckle you will surely die and go to heaven, but I am appalled at anyone who would wear new Panic! merch or have the audacity to have him sign it. Thankfully, she took it off and I didn’t see anyone ask him to sign any new Panic! merch.

Second, Ryan is more than delighted to see The Young Veins apparel. One of the people I met at the concert was wearing a Young Veins sweatshirt and I saw some albums and CD’s people brought to him to sign and he had no issue doing so. 

Third, on the issue of Panic! merch he WAS a part of, such as AFYCSO and Pretty. Odd. albums, he signs them no problem. The girl right before me had all three CD’s (afycso, pretty odd, and take a vacation) and he said “Wow haha, you have all three of them” and laughed. I split up the stuff I wanted signed between myself and three friends so I got four things signed. One was my 2007 Rolling Stones issue where Panic! made the cover, I flipped the magazine to the page that had his face on it and when I gave it to him I had the best reaction. 

Well, first I totally blanked out so I only remember this because one of my friends videotaped the whole thing. Anyways, I said “hi, don’t hate me for what I am about to have you sign” among other things, gave him a letter and a bag of sour patch kids, and he said, no worries and just continued talking to me like it was no big deal. when I handed him the magazine he went “Oh man, I haven’t seen this photo in a while.” and even was stumped as to where he should sign it. He took the time to talk to me and let me say what I wanted to say to him. I asked to hug him and he said ok. Just so you know, he lets you take any kind of photo you want (within reason). Unfortunately I don’t have a single photo where we are looking at the same camera, but I have a 10/10 photo of Ryan Ross giving me a hug and let me just say, I am blessed. Another of my friends got an afysco vinyl signed and another got the booklet to my Pretty. Odd. CD signed without any issue or trouble. 

Now, my friend had a silver sharpie which I gave her before to sign a poster I bought of the cover of The Bad List with him and Z on it and she said he went to sign it, started to, then saw the silver sharpie, and went, “that is a silver sharpie” and she went, “it is” and then he said “I want to sign with the silver sharpie” so he signed my poster AGAIN in silver sharpie. Then, she went to Z to have her sign it, and she signed it and said “Wait, did he sign this twice? Well now I have to” and she signed the poster at the top in the middle and again on the picture. So that is the story of how I got the poster signed twice by both of them. 

e. Tid bits

I don’t think you want to hear all of the tid bits I have from talking to them on and off for an hour or so but here are the highlights.

I also got to hear Ryan say he made the Christmas playlist that was playing in the background. 

At one point, Z said, “I have to go to the bathroom, but he will be mad at me if he knows I left. Don’t tell him” and ran to the bathroom. Well Ryan did notice and went “where did she go” and we said “She said we can’t tell you” and he laughed and went back to signing and talking to whoever was next in line. 

Before I left Ryan I said to him “by the way, I can’t wait to hear the new music” and he chuckled and replied “Soon, I promise” and smiled before I left, so there’s that. 

Also might I add. I got the best hug of my life from Z. I spent like two solid minutes with my fiends telling her she was absolute perfection (there are no lies in that statement) and gushed over how amazing the show was and everything else and then she game me a solid, and I mean solid, 30 second hug and to be honest I didn’t want to let go. Then we talked to her some more and had a good time and then realized we had to leave because we had about 2 and a half hours until we had to be at LAX for our flight out. I cried on the way back because hello? I met Ryan Ross and Z Berg and you best believe I will do just about anything to make sure I can go to any more of her concerts.

So yeah I will try to post videos later. Thank you for your patience with me and uploading it. If you have ANY questions, please send me an ask. I won’t mind answering them at all. I hope everyone had a wonderfully dreadful Christmas on The Bad List and I can’t wait to see what music Ryan has in store for 2019.

much love ♥♥♥

[theharlequinwriter]

Home Alone

Summary : Dean leaves reader home alone to see what she does and then comes back to find her in a very fun situation.

WARNINGS : SMUT , SWEARING , MASTURBATION 

Word count : 1350

''Wow uhm yeah sure, I'll see you guys then''  

Sam hung up the phone as he walked into the room. Looking around quite puzzled it wasn’t till dean spoke did Sam finally snap out of his daze.

''Who was that Sam?''

''Uhm a guy from law school, they want to have a reunion and would really like me to come.''

''You Should go, It will be good for you, Dean and I can handle ourselves till you get back.''

I patted Dean on the shoulder while walking to the kitchen. The boys followed close behind me still bickering if Sam should go or not.

''Sam, I mean it's only a weekend, go, get drunk, bang a blonde!!''  

Dean winked at his brother while casually sticking his tounge out at me.

I brushed it off trying to hide the fact that my face was the color of a tomato or the shirt dean was wearing today with the grey plaid that makes his look so good I can't help but.......

Snapping back to reality noticing dean and Sam were still arguing about this trip.

''Sam just fuckin go!''

I slammed my drink down.

''Sam you need this, we can survive one weekend without tearing into each other's throats.''

''Just into each other's clothes right y/n''

My mind went blank, like really, did he just say that. Shaking my head, back to talking to Sam.

''I'll Find us some local small game to keep us busy, you go and have fun.''

The next morning Sam decided to go on his trip leaving Dean and I alone for the whole weekend.

''How about I search for a hunt while you go get some grub?''

Dean handed me his wallet with about 3 credit cards all in a different name.

''Yeah sure, I'll take my bike and ride down to the store.''

Getting back I noticed that baby was no longer in her hidden spot from the bunker. Approaching the door, a note stabbed to the wall with my hunter’s blade.

DOING FAVOR FOR A FRIEND BE BACK TOMORROW – D

This was just like him to leave when I'm not looking, Dean isn't exactly the stay for eggs kind of man. Throwing what food, I did get onto the counter I noticed that I was completely alone which never happens like ever.  

‘’bath time!!’’

Putting on my favorite pandora station I sank eyes deep into the tub thinking about the fact that im all alone in the bunker. Sinking deeper into the tub my hands began to explore my hips then my thighs when I finally found my core I count help but touch and rub cause chills of pleasure to surge through my body with every movement.  

The water began to run cold and to be honest I needed more friction. Wrapping myself in a towel I ran to my room as fast as I could as too not expose myself to the cold air. Finally reaching my bed I put on one of my old journey shirts and laid down and began to play with myself once again. Feeling how wet and dripping my core was now I began to get a bit braver and let out little moan and hums here and there. Arching my back so my index could hit the perfect spot I began to moan and pant gripping the sheets with my free hand, images of dean began to flood my mind.

‘’god......ahhhh...yes...’’

I could feel my insides get warm as my climax began to draw near.

DEANS POV

‘’god i hope she bought it’’

Pulling up to my parking spot near the bunker thoughts of what y/n would do with her alone time haunting me the entire time. Walking up to the door I see that she got my note and that means shes home. Tip-toeing into the bunker I heard nothing but silence. No music, no movies, not even the sound of a guy talking or anyone.

‘’hello?’’

Maybe she left to the bar to bring a guy back.

The thought alone made my blood boil. I've been trying to get the nerve to finally confess to y/n how I feel, this weekend was my chance but not If she's with some bar dude on her bed.  

Feeling this surge through me I couldn’t handle it, I raced across the bunker right before I got to the door I swear I hear her.........moaning my name?...

Y/N POV

‘’AHHHHH FUCK!!!.... DEAN!’’

I felt my self-climax , my legs shaking I sat up shaking off my now lingering chills , I stood up when I realized my door was open and there standing completely still was dean with a look on his face id never seen.

‘’DEAN! OMG I NAKED GET THE FUCK OU....’

His lips crashed into mine, his hands grabbing my ass he lifted me onto my dresser while ripping his shirt off buttons flying across the room. Feeling his chest against my hands as he adjusted himself.

‘we arnt gonna play first?’

‘’no’’

Thrusting himself into me all at once I let out a loud moan the rand down the hall, dean began to thrust hard and fast while biting into my neck cause my back to arch only letting him go deeper into my center causing me to climax.

‘dean.....I.....I'm...I'm gonna cum!!!’’

‘’cum for me baby’'

I came all at once feeling more pleasure than I have ever felt surge through my body causing mini quakes in my legs. Dean picked me up throwing me onto the bed flipping me over so my ass was up in the air. Thrusting back into me I could feel his cock hit my g spot over and over causing me to feel the urge to cum again. Without a warning I came all over dean once again, he began to thrust harder and faster into me while pulling my hair. I could feel his cock twitch as it began to get rock soiled in me causing sensations I didn’t know excised.

‘’DEAN IM CUMING!’

‘’MEE TO!! AH FUCK!!’’

I could feel his cock pulsing as he came inside of me collapsing onto the bed out of breath and covered in sweat. I laid next to him staring at the ceiling. Sitting up I began to look for some kind of cover or anything to at least wipe my forehead, When I felt dean grab my hand.

‘’don't leave yet.’’

I laid back down this time facing him.

‘’well this is my room after all, so actually  you would have to leave.’’

Pulling me closer dean kissed me this time but not the same as earlier this time it was soft and tender. Losing myself in the kiss, I finally broke away laying my head down on his shoulder, black began to close in passing out I felt dean kiss my head before he too passed out.

Waking up I realized I'm …..alone , like I said not the nicest guy. Walking downstairs I hear dean and Sam laughing about god knows what.

‘'Sam your back early!’’

‘’yeah turns out it was more of a let's get drunk and stupid party rather than a reunion ..’’

‘’that sucks I'm sorry Sam.’’

Waking over to the coffee pot I felt deans hand wrap around my waist spinning me into him. his lips crashing into mine.

‘’So, no good morning dean? Nothing damn.’’

Kissing me again he let me go walking over to his man room.

‘’I'm going to watch Scooby Doo and drink my coffee’’

With that he was in the room with the door closed.

‘’FINALLY, YOU TWO....DAMN MAN’’

Sam yelled right next to me.

‘What do you mean?’’

‘’You two were worse than high schoolers.. Does he like me? ,…. Does she like me’’

I chuckled grabbing my coffee and heading over to the man room.

*knock knock*

‘’can I watch Scooby Doo with my boyfriend now?’’

‘’........yes.’’

Walking in dean patted his lap for me to sit and cuddle up to him.

‘So, you were really going to pout until I called you my boyfriend?’’

‘......yes.’’

[eerythingisshaka]

Wakanda Got Y’all Pt. 7

[Black Panther x Insecure Mashup]

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Word Count: 2.2k

The outreach center was operating in its usual mode.  Children playing in the gymnasium and fitness centers, tutoring area giving one on one help to kids on their studies, lunches and snacks distributed on schedule.  Luckily attendance rose with the stat of the regular school year.

Issa helped in the tutoring room with Frieda and a couple of other volunteers.

“Issa!  We have really picked up our numbers since the first week, isn’t this exciting?”  Frieda asks with a smile bigger than her hair.

Issa couldn’t help but admit the same.  “I know! I really can’t believe it, but I guess T’Challa was right.  They will come eventually, long as we are consistent and patient about it.”

Frieda puts on a thoughtful look peering at Issa.  “Wise words, from a king nonetheless. Have you guys been...getting along?”

Issa instantly starts to sweat.  “Hey Bradley! Don’t let those equations divide your attention.  Multiply your knowledge young’un!” Issa yells out across the room abruptly, causing the other students to sit up and look at her suspiciously.

“Which one is Bradley…”  Frieda asks searching the room.

There was no Bradley, Issa just needed an excuse to change the subject from T’Challa.

“He back there.  So, um, have you seen Nakia around today?  I was hoping to get to talk to her a little bit to go over some stuff.”

“Oh no worries.  I already got with her about the one piece she wore.  I saw you couldn’t keep staring so I asked where she got it, but she said it’s exclusive to her tribe so we probably shouldn’t appropriate.”

Issa blinks wildly, shaking her head.  “Wait, did she say we shouldn’t appropriate?”

Frieda shakes her head.  “No, that’s my thoughts on it.”  

“Frieda, it wouldn’t be appropriation if I did it.  You passed the diversity training with flying colors, I don’t know why this trips you up still.”

“Ohhh, right.  I’m sorry I almost stripped you of your Black identity to your roots.  Honestly, I can’t believe my foolishness.”

“Plus that wasn’t even what I was talkin about.  I need her to-”

“Can y’all take this conversation outside or put a pin in it?  My thesis ain’t gonna write itself.” One shiny, round boy boy spoke up from his laptop.

“Sorry!  Bradley…?”  Issa asks.

“Stefon, lady.  Damn!” He corrects.

“Young man, remember the clean language policy please.”  Frieda warns gently.

“How about y’all just REMEMBER, ma’am?”  The boy says with some neck work.

Issa mutters to herself.  “Damn, he really is a Stefon.  Um, sorry. Frieda, I’m going to find Nakia, you got this?”

Frieda waves her off.  “No doubt. Take your time!”

Issa walks out of the tutoring area towards the administrative offices where Nakia is located.  The secretary says hello as she confirms with Issa that Nakia was present and wrapping up a meeting.  

Issa sat down and pulled out her phone to pass the time, seeing a message from Kellie in the group chat.

(K) Is Tiffany covering the bill for this girls night since this was her damn idea?  Shit is high as hell, even after happy hour discount.

Molly pops up.  No girl, just stick to what you can do, we’ll wind down at my spot afterwards anyway.  Save your drink money.

That’s👏 what 👏 I’m 👏 talkin 👏 bout!  Kelli emotes.

Oh, Molly, you cool if Nakia is at your place too?

(M) She comin??

I’m about to ask…

(K) Oh!  If we bringin plus ones, lemme bring my Butterball to the function too!

(M) NO!  Y’all ain’t fuckin in my damn apartment.

(K) Woooow, like I’m that disrespectful.  Fuck you too then!

So is that a yeah or…

(M) If you get the balls to ask, she can.  But she ain’t my business, so if things go south, she out!

Issa hears Nakia’s door open followed by laughter.  Nakia walks out with T’Challa, stopping to give him a hug, making Issa squirm uncomfortably.  T’Challa breaks away and turns to see her.

“Issa!  Hello, you look well.  Were you waiting on me?”  T’Challa asks, while striding over to Issa, holding her hand to stand her up.  His sunny demeanor was hard to ignore, especially when she wasn’t sure if it was truly for her or from Nakia.

“No, actually, I am here to see Nakia.  I wanted to have a little talk, girl talk, you know.”  Issa says, stammering slightly.

T’Challa smiles looking back at Nakia.  “Be kinder to her than you just were to me, eh?  Issa, I would like to see you later. Call me when you are free.”  He says kissing the back of her hand with a wink.

“Issa, come in.  I was hoping to see you actually.”  Nakia’s ethereal voice calls out to her as she gracefully turns to go back into her office, beckoning Issa with a twirl of her fingers in the air.

As Issa walks in, she is caught up in the decor of Nakia’s office.  Earth tones set her mood at ease with the dark wood panel walls, rich tapestry lining the wall behind her.  Exotic plants emit fragrances to tickle her senses. The babbling of a large waterfall running over the plastic rock formations sing in her eardrum as she takes a seat in the comfy chair.

“Wow, I didn’t know you worked in a spa.  I should’ve came here more often.” Issa says in amazement.

Nakia smiles sweetly, folding her hands on her desk.  “Trust me, this wasn’t in the budget, but I figured I could splurge myself for a home away from home.”

Issa nods.  “Yeah, I can only imagine being outside of where I’m from.  It’s kind of exciting but scary too.”

Nakia waves this notion off.  “Oh no, I am used to being away from home.  I have traveled all around the world as a War Dog for Wakanda.  This is a vacation in comparison.”

Issa blinks, feeling her anxiety grow.  “Excuse me? War Dog?”

Nakia nods, looking at Issa in surprise.  “Yes! I thought I told you? Anyway, a war dog is like a spy.  It’s how we keep tabs on the happenings around the world, intervene when necessary, other classified things.  It’s so exciting, for selfish reasons really; half the reason me and T’Challa couldn’t work out.”

“Oh.”  Issa says softly.  The reality of being the one after Nakia to T’Challa breaks her confidence down further.  

Nakia cocks her head to the side with concern.  “I hope us working together does not make things uncomfortable for you.  He seems to believe in you a lot and T’Challa’s judgment is pretty sound for the most part.”

“No, not at all.  We’re taking things slow anyway.  I would barely call it a relationship, I mean, we’re talking but nothing deep, you know.”  Issa stammers

“It’s all good!  Long as everyone’s happy I’m happy.  And speaking of, I wanted to talk to you about We Got Y’all.”

Issa sits up straighter.  “Yeah, go ahead.”

Nakia twists her hands together anxiously.  “I wonder exactly how well we mesh together as a unit.  Don’t get me wrong, I still feel that the benefit of mixing us together helps our causes more than it hinders but there are little parts that may be a challenge to the overall goals we are trying to achieve.”

Issa furrows her brow.  “Well, ok. Could you be more specific?”

Nakia bites her lip.  “Some of the coordinators seem a bit out of touch with the culture here.  And that is coming from me, I’m, certainly not tied to America in the slightest, nor would I permanently choose to be.  But some are either too, let’s say ‘engaged’ with the students and their needs to the point of concocting worse backstories on assumption, while others are completely aloof to put it nicely.”

Issa knew exactly the ones that Nakia was talking about.  “I get it, you don’t even have to say a thing about it. Like you said, they try for the cause by showing up but it’s hard for them to see past innate differences sometimes.  You should’ve seen them trying to use me like a cheat sheet on what to even say to you guys, and even Erik, and he’s from here!”

Nakia shakes her head in disbelief.  “It’s outstanding the lengths people will go to appear accepting only to trip and fall on their own face, when you’ve asked for none of it in the first place.”

Issa nods encouragingly.  “Can we just say it now? White people?”

“Pssh, I was just about to, you beat me to it!”  

They share a genuine laugh that felt so good for Issa to let go, like a weight was lifted from her shoulders.  “I can talk to them, try and make things a little less tense and remind them you guys aren’t aliens.”

“The curly haired nervous one, she can be that way sometimes.  Very knowledgeable but everyday does not have to be CNN.”

“Right!  Just talk regular, she is an easy fix.  Frieda is the ally you want to have around here.”   Issa assures Nakia.

“Noted, thank you again for your input.  I won’t keep you from your weekend any longer, please have a good day.”  Nakia gets up, collecting some papers on her desk.

“Actually that is something I wanted to bring up.  Me and some girlfriends of mine were gonna have a girls night out, and we haven’t gotten wind down time together.  So I thought maybe you’d wanna come?”

Nakia’s eyes lit up.  “Sure! That sounds like a good plan!  I’d love to join your friends, just let me know what I should bring.”

Issa dismisses her, getting up.  “Oh just bring yourself. You’re my guest, it’s not problem.”

Nakia stands coming around to give Issa a strong hug.  “Thank you for the invitation. I cannot wait!”

“Great!  I’ll give you the details later!”  Issa says goodbye, leaving her office on cloud nine.  Their talk went way better than she ever expected, and now the other girls will get to meet her too.  Issa began to look forward to the night even more now. And with a ding of her phone, T’Challa gave her reason to leave work a little early.

Before she texts him back, she messages the girls.

Hey! Confirmed one more head for our night!

(T) I don't know her. Molly may not have room at her place...

(M) Uh, don't shade my apt...

I thought we were eating out?

(K) Call your man for that.  Tiffany tryna be bougie cheap is all.

The hell is bougie cheap?

(K) Avoiding tipping by doing a house party which is more expensive.

(T) whatever.  I just couldn't find a reservation last minute. But she can bring something to contribute.

Ok what are we needing?

(T) No no. She can bring something. We don't know her, let her impress us.

It wasn’t even Tiffany’s party and she was already running shit

---

T’Challa wanted to eat out tonight, so he picked her up for a night out to a mid range restaurant for them to enjoy.

“Ooh!  I think I’m going to get the shrimp.  I’m feeling fancy and delicate.” Issa says, bopping in her seat slightly.

T’Challa looks at her, staring at the candlelight illuminates their table romantically.  “Whatever you like sounds good to me.”

“No, you have to get something different.”  Issa protests.

“And why is that?”

“....so the table can have some variety?”  Issa mutters.

“But the meals are individualized.”  T’Challa asks in confusion.

“Well, if you don’t have a preference you should try the chicken marsala, that sounded good to me too.”

T’Challa closes his menu.  “So, if you have shrimp, and chicken marsala, what am I eating then?”

Issa looks up at the ceiling in dramatic thought.  “We haven’t seen the dessert menu yet.”

T’Challa chuckles, taking his glass up to Issa.  She mirrors him. “To dessert then. May it be sweet enough to lick the plate clean.”  He sips his wine looking at Issa with desire. Issa almost chokes on hers, sputtering and wiping her mouth dry.

“So, did you have a good talk with Nakia today?”  T’Challa asks looking back to his menu unphased.

Issa blinks a incredulously, unprepared to discuss his ex so soon.  “Diving right in huh? Well, yeah, it was good. She wants me to kind of talk with my folks about their methods around the kids and I invited her to go out with me.”

“Oh!  Is she stealing you from me now?”  T’Challa quips.

Issa looks sideways.  “I mean, she kinda pretty.  We’ll see after these drinks we bout to have Saturday night.”

T’Challa’s mouth hangs open before melting into a smile.  “I’m glad you are in good spirits considering.”

Issa sips from her glass.  “That she is your ex and you didn’t tell me ahead of time?  Yeah, I’m pretty fucking good.”

T’Challa calls over a waiter.  “It’s not like I wasn’t going to tell you, it’s just that I hadn’t gotten a chance to.  And I also didn’t expect it to have to be explained. I didn’t get into this program expecting to fall for one of the coordinators.”

“Well pick yourself back up.  This is going to stay as professional as possible out of respect.”

T’Challa shrugs.  “Then we will be going dutch on the meal, then?”

Issa cranks her neck back.  “Uh, don’t be rude. You invited me anyway, so that’s the rules.”

T’Challa squints at her.  “Wakanda is a bit different than America.  I might have to claim ignorance on that.”

They laugh as the waiter approaches.  “Welcome to Chez Magnifique. I’m L-”

“Lawrence?!”  Issa gasps.

“Yes, Lawrence.  She will have the shrimp and the chicken marsala.  We are sharing tonight.” T’Challa smiles at Issa but it swiftly drops when he reads her expression.  “What’s wrong?”

Part 8

Masterlist

RagTag

@hbicprettyprincess @theunsweetenedtruth

@kimianostalgia @airis-paris14

@afraiddreamingandloving

@chaneajoyyy

@myfavemarvelfanfics

@nys30

@blkintrovert

@allhailnjadaka @cutewylie @bidibidibombaclaat @muse-of-mbaku @wakanda-inspired @klaine15689

[scornedlove]

Chapter Fifteen

ROBYN

It’s official. I made my own name in fashion. We were at London Fashion Week again, but this time I wasn’t just watching. I was working alongside some of the fashion greats. The first week of January Adam Selman reached out to me personally. Apparently, the networking I did at the last fashion show paid off. He liked many of my ideas and wanted to collab on the upcoming fashion show, which meant we had about six weeks. He started working on this collection in June but felt it needed something more, so I was included in all the major decisions. It was such an amazing experience, from deciding on how things sit on the models to deciding how the pieces were cut. All the hard work paid off because the show was a success and he wanted me to join him on the autumn and winter collection as well.

“This is going to open so many doors for me” l smiled, thinking out loud. Mel, Frankie, Paige, and I had just made it back to our hotel, shitfaced from celebrating.

“Yeah, you’re finally getting the recognition you deserve!” Frankie agreed. “I knew you would take off any day now. Nobody knows how hard you work like I do. You earned this.”

“I wanna go to Bim and celebrate with my people. I might as well take all ya’ll with me, ya’ll put in just as much work as I do. We all could use a vacation, plus my birthday is coming up” I grinned, excited just thinking about it.

“That’s what I’m talking about! I need to bathe in some island sun” Paige nodded her approval. “The only person who probably wouldn’t come is Meagan, only God knows how pissed she is that she didn’t get to come to fashion week last time and this time.”

“Well, if you don’t do your job right at home, why would you get the privilege of traveling?” I shrugged, feeling no sympathy. It’s a wonder I haven’t let her go yet. She was constantly coming in late, leaving early, and leaving tasks unfinished. I must admit, our customers enjoy her. She’s really good when it comes to customer service, but slacks in everything else.

“Yeah, but you know she’s been feeling some type of way since she saw Dre come in with your purse that day. That would be the real reason she doesn’t go to Barbados.” Frankie chimed in. “That’s my girl and all, but I’m not missing out on Barbados for anybody”

“What do you mean? Megan and Dre had a thing? Wait, you and Dre are hookin up?” Mel asked curiously. She had been in her bubble with J, so I hadn’t even told her about what happened between Dre and I on New Year’s Eve.

“You slut! I thought you said ya’ll vowed not to cross the line?” she asked mimicking my voice, after I gave her the quick, short version of what went down.

“Shit happens” I shrugged nonchalantly.

“I hope you know you can’t be playing with this man’s emotions, especially after what Teyana put him through.”

“It’s just sex. It’s not like this is serious” I explained.

“You can only say that if it happened once, but come to think of it. I’ve seen much less of you lately, that means you’re getting consistent dick” she snickered, making Frankie and Paige burst out in laughter.

“No, I’ve been working bitch” I corrected her while giving her the finger.

“But seriously, be careful. You know I worry about you”

“Well don’t. I feel better than I have in a very long time" I stressed hoping to convince her. I was telling the truth; things were really starting to look up for me. I was content with being single and on top of that, my career was starting to take off, so I couldn’t be happier.

I even went out of my way to make sure I enjoyed Valentine’s Day, even though I spent it alone. I went and saw the movie Silver Linings, bought myself a beautiful bouquet, and had an online shopping spree while eating pizza and cheesecake. It was the perfect day and now I couldn’t wait to get home to my new pair of red bottoms and two new Burberry purses.

“How are you today John” I asked my driver, in a cheerful tone, as he grabbed my luggage and tossed it in the trunk. Dre hooked me up with the car service he’s been using for a couple of years and so far, I was extremely satisfied. It’s nice being chauffeured around and my driver was cool to talk to.

“I’m good, now that my bajan thing is back” he winked, opening the back door for me.

“Happy Birthday” Dre sang as soon as I got in. He had balloons and a massive bouquet of roses.

“What are you doing here?!” I yelled, completely surprised.

“I wanted to be the first to welcome you back. How was your trip?” he asked, pouring champagne into a flute and offering it to me.

“It was fuckin awesome!” I grinned, gladly taking it and gulping down half of it immediately. “I’m ready to leave again so I can celebrate that and my birthday”

“What are we doing for your birthday?” He asked curiously.

“Well, I didn’t have anything planned for today, but I’m taking my crew to Bim for a three-day weekend. We’re leaving tomorrow.”

“Cool, so that means I can steal you away today” he smiled.

“Well I have so much to do in so little time. I have to pick up Ollie and Pepe, stop by the shop for a few things, and so much other stuff” I replied. I didn’t expect him to even want to spend my birthday with me, it would’ve been nice to have a heads up.

“How about lunch before you get started on all that?” he suggested.

“I’m sorry Dre, but I don’t have time to wait a half hour for food and take another half hour to eat it.”

"Well, how about this: I’ll let you take care of everything you got going on, and you can come to my house later. I’ll have a nice birthday dinner ready and we can have a little night cap. I won't keep you out too late” he promised.

“Deal” I replied, realizing he just wasn’t taking no for an answer.

He rode with me for most of my errands and kept my glass full the entire time. By the time I made it to work, I was pretty tipsy so when Jenn started singing happy birthday at the top of her lungs, I started to twerk to the imaginary beat.

“What are you even shaking?” Meagan asked with a frown. “You literally have no ass”

“Dats cool tho, cause what I lack in da back, I pack in da cat” I shrugged with a wink and she rolled her eyes.

“Any who. Not that it compares to that big ass bouquet you have in your hand, but someone literally had a single rose delivered to you today. It’s on your desk” she stated.

“Oh yeah, Chris dropped something off for you last week, it’s in your office too” Jenn added nonchalantly and my heart almost stopped from hearing his name.

“Wow” I whispered in awe when I saw the canvas that brightened up my office. I immediately recognized the painting from last year’s Valentine’s Day and my heart skipped a beat. I was confused though. Was this his way of getting rid of what was left of me, or was this his way of reaching out to me?

When I removed the canvas from my desk, I found the rose and a note in Chris’s familiar handwriting and my questions were answered. He wanted to talk so he’d left his number.

“Hello” he answered on the second ring.

“Hi Chris” I paused, feeling lost for words. “It’s Robyn. I just got the gifts…This painting…. it’s beautiful. Thanks”

“You’re welcome. I honestly didn’t think you would call, and happy birthday by the way.”

“Thanks”

“I don’t know what you have going on, but I would love to take you to dinner tonight… For old times’ sake”

“Okay, what did you have in mind?” I replied, without missing a beat.

“Your favorite, Gorgio Baldi of course.” He quickly replied.

“I would love that. I’m finishing up a few things at the office, I can meet you there at 6”

“That's perfect”

“Okay, I guess I’ll see you soon” I smiled through the phone. I felt mixed emotions as butterflies tickled my stomach. I’ve been wishing I could just have a single moment alone with him and I was finally getting that chance. I hated to leave Dre hanging so I made a mental note to cancel with him before I left the office.

I worked quickly and was done with everything that was urgent in a couple of hours. I was in the middle of packing my laptop when Jenn rushed into my office.

“Ooh, I'm glad I caught you. There’s a call for you on line one. It’s Jacques, he says it’s urgent.” she announced.

“Hello” I picked up the phone, wondering what he could possibly want.

“Hi Robyn, it’s about Rayven”

“What about her?” I asked, partially irritated. She was always up to something.

“She’s in the hospital. You need to come and see her” he ordered.

“Is she okay? What happened?” I asked, now frightened.

“She’s in the ICU at Kaiser, I don’t know all the details, just get here as soon as you can” he insisted with urgency before hanging up.

An hour later, I was looking at my younger cousin attached to all sorts of machines and couldn’t help but feel guilty. Apparently, she was high on cocaine and had a stroke. She’s been in a coma for 2 days already, and things still aren’t looking all that great for her.

I know her bad choices aren’t my fault, but maybe if I would’ve at least taken her calls she wouldn’t be here. She went from trying to call me several times a day to calling a few times a week, but she eventually stopped trying.

“What the fuck am I gonna tell her mom?” I sighed as my mind raced. I’m the only family she has here and I’m supposed to be looking out for her. Yeah, she’s done some fucked up things in the past, but I wouldn’t wish death on her.

After seeing her like that, I had to wait in the lobby. I felt responsible and every time that monitor beeped, I felt my anxiety raising.  On top of all that, I couldn’t stand to be here. All I could think about was the last time I was in the hospital. I knew my anxiety would be off the charts so I took a Xanax before coming in, but it wasn’t helping.

“I know ya’ll aren’t in the best place right now-” Jacques began as soon as he saw me.

“Never mind that dumb shit, what happened to my cousin?” I asked, angrily. “Where the fuck is Jay?”

“He had business to take care of, that’s why I’m here” he stated, trying to calm me down. “I’m sorry this happened to her, but she’s really been spiraling downhill since you guys fell out. She’s been out of control, partying like there’s no tomorrow, and not taking care of herself. It’s like she didn’t care if anything happened to her.”

“Well I guess her boyfriend doesn’t care either, considering he’s not by her side” I fumed.

“They aren’t together anymore. I’m not all in their business, so I don’t know what’s going on, but she’s been running with a new crowd, and none of those muthafuckas are here, but they’re part of the reason she is. Look, we can point fingers all day but I’m just here to help. I think it might be a good idea to get her mom down here, there’s no telling what may happen” he admitted.

“Are you okay? You're shaking.” he asked when I didn’t respond.

“What if she died on my birthday?” I blurted as my eyes finally began to water. “That would be some fucked up shit”

“You can’t think like that. You gotta pull yourself together so you can be strong for her” he continued. "It ain't always about you. Everyone has been through some shit. You just gotta suck that shit up, forgive, and move on.

“Okay” I sighed realizing he was right. I sat down for a minute, after taking another Xanax, and finally I could feel my heart rate slowing. I wasn’t prepared for the call I was about to make, but I dialed my Aunt Jenna’s number and prayed to God she could find a way to forgive me.

The next couple of days were like torture. I put everything I had going on, on hold to be there for Rayven. After calling Aunt Jenna, she was down here on the next fight. She arrived the next day and that’s when hell began. She went from sympathy to pure hatred when she found out why Rayven was in a coma.  She kept saying that she shouldn’t have left home, and how she was worshiping the devil out here. Her energy was all bad and after sitting at this hospital for three days hearing her speak ill of my little cousin, I felt like it was unnecessary for her to be here if she hated her own daughter so much.

“Auntie” I called out, interrupting her phone call. I could hear her saying to someone she was in the States because her daughter was a dumpsy and overdosed, and that must’ve been the last straw.

“Hold up” she spoke to whoever was on the phone and pulled it away from her face. “Wuh you want?” she asked, obviously irritated that I interrupted her conversation. No wonder Rayven was so ready to get away from her, she had evil going through her veins. She wasn’t like that when we were growing up, so this was all new to me.

“I don’t mind staying here with Ray. I can get you a room, so you can take a shower and get some rest. I’ll have my driver come get you if anything changes, that way you can be here when she wakes up” I offered in the kindest tone I could. I would hate to disrespect my Aunt, but if I continued to hear the way she spoke about Rayven, things could get ugly fast. Lucky for everyone, she accepted my offer.  

Another day came and went with no changes. I was so exhausted and depressed just sitting around and waiting, so when Mel offered to keep watch for a few hours, I was more than grateful.

I went home, showered, and had a quick meal. By the time I made it back to the hospital, Rayven had woken up.

“Rob-?” Rayven’s raspy voice called out when I walked in.

“Thank God! You’re up?! “I smiled, feeling relief rush over me.

“I’m so sorry” she choked out as tears started to fall.

“Shhh. Try not to talk” I replied softly. “You’re alive and that’s all that matters right now.”

“I tried to call you, but your phone is going to voicemail. She just woke up about ten minutes ago. They drew some blood and will be back to get her for an MRI any minute.” Mel stated, checking her watch. On cue, two nurses came in and took her away.

“Thank you for sitting with her. I know how you feel about her, so that really meant a lot” I stated, giving Mel a hug.

“Girl, family is family. I was upset about her holding her lie back, it wasn’t any deeper than that” she shrugged. “But I do have to go, charge your phone so I can check on ya’ll later”

I stayed with Rayven the rest of the day, but I really missed my bed. I decided to leave for the night, and promised her I would be back tomorrow morning. I was so tired that I passed out in the backseat and woke up to John shaking my shoulder. “Ms. Robyn, we’ve arrived” he repeated over and over until I realized where we were.

“This ain’t where I live” I snapped looking around trying to figure out where the hell I was, then I spotted Dre quickly approaching us.

“Don’t curse him babe. Take it out on me.  I talked to Mel earlier and she told me you were on the way home. I called and called but you didn’t pick up. John told me you were passed out in the back, so I told him to bring you here” he explained, pissing me off even further.  

“I’ve been at the hospital for a week. I just want to sleep in my own bed” I sighed, slapping my forehead.

“I got you girl. My bed is just as comfortable, if not I will take you home myself” he promised. I was irritated but I rolled my eyes and got out the car anyway. When I got inside, I changed into one of his t-shirts, used the bathroom, and went straight to bed.

When I woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon and my stomach growling, I couldn’t help but let my nose lead the way.

“Good morning sleepy head” Dre smiled as he pulled the bacon out of the oven.

“Wow” I grinned, after seeing the feast he’d created. There were waffles, sausage, bacon, and scrambled eggs.

“Sit down” he ordered, pulling a chair out for me. “I miss you, so I’m stealing one hour from you. I didn’t get to treat you on your birthday, so just relax and let me enjoy you”

"How am I supposed to do that when my cousin is alone in the hospital?"

"I know you're used to taking care of everyone else, but you can't take care of anyone if you're not taking care of yourself. Let me take care of you Anna" he pleaded.

“Alright, but you can’t keep hijacking my car. Next time you’re gonna regret it” I shook my finger at him.

“Okay, I won’t kidnap you again. You just gotta figure out a healthy balance between your job and your personal life” he stated, leaving it at that.

After eating, he gave me a full body massage, that led to some great sex. I had a lot of shit to do since I missed a week of work, but it was sweet that he missed me enough to plan all of this. I've never had anyone damn near kidnap me just to make sure I was good. So instead of fighting it, I let him take care of me and I was glad that I did.

[missvalerietanner]

Last weekend, I was jet lagged and had to rest. This past weekend... turns out I needed more rest. XD But I finally got everything organized, and it’s time to share... 

I WENT TO CANADA!

As a birthday present to myself, back in June, I filled out all the paperwork and got myself a passport ‘cause, damn it, I want to travel. Just three little months later in September, I had to help my boss check in for his flight for a work thing ( he’s not so computer savvy), and I got antsy. I wanted to be flying somewhere too. And I wanted to give my passport a trial run. SO! My aunt had mentioned wanting to see Niagara Falls, and I was cool with seeing Canada cause 1. passport test, and 2. Lewis Black’s words haunt me: “Even drunk on a bet, you make it to Canada.” (in reference to the fact that George W. had never been outside the country. 

So I started planning, told my aunt (she was thrilled by the idea), and in a matter of two weeks, we had the trip laid out, plan tickets bought, hotel room reserved, and we were good to go.

We stayed in Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada. We flew into the Buffalo airport in New York, got a rental car, and drove across the Rainbow Bridge ‘cause I figured that’d be pretty cool. Our flight got into Buffalo at midnight, Friday morning (Nov. 2nd), and we reached our hotel in Canada at about 2AM. Should’ve slept, but we were both too jazzed to fall asleep ‘cause we were excited and we could see the freakin’ falls from our hotel room so we stayed up until about 4AM just planning the next day’s adventures and finally crashed. Then we woke up at about 8AM. Insane.

Friday, we shopped at Niagara on the Lake, this cute shopping district about 30 mins north from our hotel (Sheraton on the Falls, if you’re curious). 

Saturday, I had bought us tickets to the boat tours with Hornblower Cruises. We got on the first boat at 10AM and froze our butts off in that 40 degree weather while getting hosed by the mist coming off the Falls. But as I have told everyone, “It’s cool. My face caught most of it.”

That water was cold, but it was revitalizing. We got back to the hotel room, and my aunt said, “Don’t you feel refreshed?” And, you know what? I fucking did. I felt, like, not “born again,” but definitely close to that. I felt... pure and alive.

After the boat ride, which was only 20 mins, I drove us up to Toronto ‘cause, why not, right? We were RIGHT there. Well, not right there, but only two hours away. XD The drive was nice, though, and there are some beautiful bridges along the way. (Though, I never really adjusted to the speed limit signs being in kilometers per hour versus miles. But that’s my fault and America’s. We seriously need to be standard.)

Anyhoo, Toronto was large and loud and busy and kinda insane. Though with 2.2 or so (I think the sign said?) million people, it’s like the crowds of Manhattan with the insanity of L.A. (I assume?). The city’s pretty, though. The architecture of the residential areas was so homey and 1980s feeling--I loved it. So nostalgic and well-kept... like something out of a sitcom. Every yard was perfect. Every car maintained and polished. It was lovely.

On the way out of Toronto (we just drove in and pretty much back out ‘cause it was such a long drive to get back to the hotel), we drove through a primarily Jewish community and saw some of them heading to church--I assume by the way they were all gussied up. That was awesome and definitely not something you happen upon in Tennessee. 

And, look, I don’t wanna come off as creepy, but on the way into Toronto, we stopped at the ONLY SHELL GAS STATION WE EVER SAW, and bought a shit ton of candy for the ride. Then we spot this super adorable Jewish boy, and I made a few jokes about offering him candy (not where he could hear me, obviously). He stared at us as we passed. We stared at him, and I joked that’d he’d puff up his collar and tell his buddies: “These babes were checkin’ ME out.” But in reality, it’s probably more like: “These weird Americans from Pennsylvania were staring at me.”

We had Penn state license plates on our rental car, and whenever I passed people in traffic, I’d say, “Let show ‘em how we drive in Pennsylvania.”

We are NOT from Pennsylvania.

Then on Sunday, our flight was at 7:27 PM in Buffalo, the plan was to just get to the airport and wait there and be bored. But stupid Daylight Savings Time totally fucked us. Not to mention we switched from Central to Eastern time while flying, so we lost an hour then gained one then lost it again on the way home. Fucking stupid.

Anyway, we accidentally checked out of the hotel an hour early ‘cause we thought it was noon (spolier: it was only 11 AM). I realize then when we’re leaving in the car--too late. We cross the border, eat lunch at an Irish pub in... I forget what city it was--but upstate New York outside Albany and about twenty minutes from the Buffalo airport. The place was called Connor’s, and it was fuckin’ delish.

Then we returned the rental car, chilled in the airport for like five hours (that went by faster than you’d think), flew to North Carolina for a layover (which turned into a stress-filled sprint walk, as Daniel Tosh calls it, to our boarding gate which we were late arriving too ‘cause our previous pilot had to circle the damn state of NC ‘cause some jackass was blocking up the runway), and then finally back to Nashville.

All in all, the trip was a blast. It cost me roughly $1000 for the three day trip. We split the hotel room and plane tickets, but I paid for the rental car, gas, and the boat tour. And then I spent roughly $400 on souvenirs and food. Not a bad chunk of change for such a relaxing vacation. That weekend felt SO long, but every minute of it was awesome.

OH! We also ate twice at this ice cream place on the corner from the hotel (well, actually inside the hotel) called Sweet Jesus. Look it up. That place is fucking wonderful.

Canada is lovely and so so peaceful. Probably the best thing about the trip was leaving behind all the bullshit of American culture. We are seriously bogged down here with so much shit every day and so many things demanding our attention and our money and... UGH! I didn’t feel any of that in Canada. Granted, being on vacation and not at work helped, but even still, the country just seemed laid back and calm. 

We all need a little Canada in our life.

Also one place we ate at served tiny packets of peanut butter at breakfast time along with typical tiny packets of jams and jellys. Totally stole one. Totally awesome. 

And at that Shell gas station, I spotted these:

They taste more like hot sauce on a potato chip rather than ketchup, but awesome to see. Oh, and I bought us Tim Horton’s coffee one morning, ‘cause I just HAD to. And boy do Canadians love their Wendy’s and Subway’s. We saw those two eateries everywhere. And we passed a marijuana store which was pretty nifty too.

We didn’t go in, despite what the guys at work say.

Ready for some pictures? :D

This was the view from our hotel room on the 8th floor. We could open the door and just get such a perfect view of the Falls. Every night, they lit up the Falls in an array of colors, but when they colored them for the American and Canadian flags... just wow.

Beautiful homes in Toronto. (And the Mini Cooper that was behind me FOR MILES and probably getting pissed ‘cause he’s in every damn shot. XD)

More houses. I love architecture, o.k.!

Made my aunt grab this shot while I drove. 

Another shot of the Falls, but lit in blue, white, and green. 

And a shot on Sunday morning at about 9AM (we thought it was 10AM XD). Sunday was the only sunny day while we were there, but I didn’t mind. We did a lot of walking--I mean, A LOT--and I’d rather walk under clouds than the sun any day.

And this is Connor’s, the Irish pub we stopped it in New York. 

Here’s a shot of us on the Hornblower boat. The distorted look is ‘cause it was shot with my cheapo-knock off Go-Pro. The big green building in the center back is our hotel. ;p

‘Nother shot from the boat with the CamPark. Those are the American side of the Falls.

The Horseshoe Falls on the Canadian side. Probably the best angle the CamPark caught on the boat.

There were also fireworks over the Falls on Saturday night. I overheard some women in the hotel saying there was some winter festival starting that night (Nov. 3rd). Dunno, but the fireworks were beautiful.

At long last, a shot of some sweet Canadian money ‘cause I still have the $5 bill and one of the $2 coins. I love the look of their money. 

[/content sigh]

...I would absolutely go back.

The even better news is that my aunt knows this chruch group that travels around a lot (like, right now, they’re in freakin’ Sierra Leone!), and they’re planing an Italy trip next June.

YES! Be still my heart!

My aunt signed us both up, and barring an unforeseen accident or a lobotomy, I could be in Italy in June 2019. And the chosen dates line up with my birthday, so I could very well spend my 30th birthday in FREAKIN’ ITALY, MAN! How cool would that be? And yeah, I’m not much for church and religion, but I am willing to put up with anything if it gets me to Italy. XD Plus, Italy has so many beautiful churches I’d love to see, and a church group damn better get me there.

[write-havoc]

This Is How I Disappear Ch. 3

Summary: A girl named Chuck finds herself in the exact place she doesn't want to be, living with violent men in a desolate nursing home. After her former gym teacher finds her, will he be the savior she was looking for?

Fandom: The Walking Dead AU

Pairing: Negan/Original Female Character

Status: Completed (story continues in The Flame Is Gone, The Fire Remains)

Contains: swearing, violence, sexual assault, blood, smut

Readers 18+ of age only

Masterlists in my bio

Simon leads Chuck to the stairwell and they begin to descend. He pushes Chuck gently through the first floor doors upon reaching the bottom and they make their way through the meandering halls to a back stairwell that leads to the basement, silent the whole way.

“What happened, Chuck? What did you do, kiddo? Why is Negan punishing you?” Simon breaks the silence as they approach several metal doors lining a long, dark hallway.

“It… doesn't matter. I just… want to get this over with, please.”

Simon walks to one of the doors begrudgingly, pulls out a key, and opens it up. The room is small, just slightly bigger than a broom closet and completely stark except for a bucket in one corner.

  This should be interesting. I don't really know what I was expecting, but…

 “Get in.” Simon motions into the cell and she obeys.

“How long will I-“

He closes the door without another word.

  I guess that's part of the punishment, not knowing how long I'll be in here. This might not be so bad, I mean, I don't mind being alone. Sure, it's dark and uncomfortable, but it's not exactly torturous, is it? I guess I’m glad I’m not on “fence duty”.

I wonder what’s the longest someone has stayed in here. And do different infractions have different lengths of punishment? Like, “five days for stealing, one for not kneeling fast enough, SEVENTY-FIVE FOR FLIRTING WITH WIFE NUMBER THREE!”

 She makes herself giggle with her internal Negan impression, but it fades quickly. She realizes that she must be getting delirious from lack of sleep. She paces around a bit, letting the gravity of her situation sink in, and then sits down on the cold concrete.

  Hmm. Yup. This is going to get uncomfortable really quickly. I wish I had put on a sweater today. I could use it as a pillow. Or blanket. It's actually kinda cold in here. Jeez, I'm already complaining and I've only been in here, what, three minutes?

I need to keep my mind occupied. Think of something. I wonder what Negan’s men are doing at Rolling Acres. Maybe they'll plant more crops. There's room for it there. Of raise animals. They might be more successful than I was at keeping them. I wonder how many people Negan has stationed there. Would someone live in my old room? Sleep on that bed… Okay, I don't want to think about that.

A song, maybe. I wonder if people are still making music out there. God, I would love to play something again. I probably can here. The fences are far enough away that the dead won't be attracted by it. I was always so afraid to play before. Even at Rolling Acres. I wish I had my mom’s old guitar. It wasn't in the house when I went back there to see if she was…

I miss her so much. I wonder what she would tell me to do now. She always knew just what to say to make me feel better…

 ——— Chuck’s POV ———

— 7 years ago —

 “You okay, sweetie? The doctor said you can take your pain pills every four hours. You should be about due for some.” My mom is staring at me from the other side of the couch, knitting a blanket for her work friend’s daughter who’s pregnant. The tv is playing an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. I never really liked that show, but my mom absolutely loves it.

“Oh. No. I'm okay. I can hold off on the drugs for a while,” I’m not really in too much pain at the moment. I have my cast left foot propped up on our ottoman, with a few pillows underneath it for extra comfort. I can't believe that I broke my ankle going down two stairs on our porch! What kind of a klutz does that? Ruined my whole weekend. Now I have to go into school tomorrow and try to hobble around to all of my classes. I haven't even really gotten the hang of these crutches, yet.

Ugh. And now I'm gonna have to talk to Coach Negan about how I can participate in gym. I can't exactly run, or jog, or do anything we’re doing in that class. And I need the gym credits to graduate. Stupid me didn't get them out of the way early, so now I have gym class every day of my senior year to make them up.

“You sure you're okay? You're making a weird face.”

“I'm just anxious about tomorrow. I'm going to have to talk to your favorite teacher about an alternate lesson plan, considering my condition.” I lift up my left leg and wave my cast in the air as much as I can.

“Who's my favorite teacher?” My mom giggles a bit and I give her the “really?” face.

“Coach Negan.”

“Mmmm.” She nods. “Oh yeah. Coach Negan. He's so hot.” She fans herself to hammer her point in.

“Mom! Don't lust after him so much! It's weird… and gross.”

“Come on! You have to see that he's gorgeous.”

“Well, yeah, I have eyes,” I agree. He is a very handsome man. “He's just… my teacher. I can't look at him that way.”

“No, you're right. You shouldn't look at him like that, sweetie. Stay away from older men. Especially ruggedly handsome older men. Who have that bad boy thing going for them. And dimples.”

“Mom! Stop!” I exclaim, trying to stifle a giggle.

She laughs. “I'm just teasing!” She leans over and hits my arm playfully. “Well, why are you dreading having to talk to Professor HotBody about class? Is he an asshole or something. I bet he is. The really handsome ones usually are.”

“Not really. Well, I mean… yeah, he kinda is, but not to me. He’s only mean to the kids who are... you know, douchebags.”

“Why are you so anxious, then? He'll understand that you can't participate. I'm sure he'll work with you.”

“Yeah. I know that. I'm sure I'm not the first kid to break a bone. It's just that… just being around Negan makes me really nervous. I hate talking to him. It always gives me the hiccups.”

“Aww! It's always so adorable when you hiccup!”

“No, it isn't, mom. It's embarrassing and makes me want to die.” I let out a dramatic sigh as she makes an incredulous noise. My mom doesn't really understand what it's like to be awkward and quiet. She's perfectly comfortable around people. She never worries that she'll look stupid or do the wrong thing. “You've never really talked to him, so you don't know what he's like. He's just so…” I gesture my hands, trying to think of the right word, “ intense. He's super confident. And loud. And he swears all the time. He also talks with his whole body.” I throw my arms out and gesticulate wildly. It makes my mom laugh. “Being around people like that just makes me nervous. You know I'm weird like that. I didn't get your ‘normal people’ genes. I got dad’s awkward ones.”

“Well, you'll just have to think out exactly what you want to say to him and go over that a few times. Then you won't be scrambling to think of what to say when you're in front of him.”

“Yeah. I think I'll do that. His prep period is the same as my study hall, so I think I'll talk to him then. I don't want to interrupt one of his classes, or anything. And that’s the period right before my gym class, too, so it'll work out perfectly.”

“There you go! No need to worry.”

 ———

 *Knock Knock Knock*

 “ Yeah ?” comes Negan’s voice from inside the room.

Okay, Chuck. Just open his door and go through the speech you have memorized. It'll be fine.

“Hi, Coach,” I say after I open his door. He is seated behind his desk going through papers of some sort.

He looks down my leg at my cast. “Holy shit, Chuck. What did you do? Break your foot off in someone’s ass?” He laughs hard at his own joke.

I chuckle a bit. It’s kinda funny. “Uh, no. I tripped on my porch stairs like an idiot.” I hobble awkwardly around to sit in the chair in front of his desk, leaning my crutches on the chair beside me. “But, uh, that's why I'm here. I needed to talk to you about gym class. I can't participate normally, so I thought that, maybe, I could write reports on a sport… or an athlete, or anything you want, really. I could do a report for every class to make up credit-“

“Fuck that shit,” he interjects.

“Wha-“

“I didn't become a gym teacher so I could read fuckin’ reports. No offense, kid, but I'd rather have my nutsack ripped off by a chimpanzee than read fuckin’ book reports about the history of baseball or some shit.”

“I, uh..” *hiccup*

Ugh. Great. I really did not expect him to reject my idea. Now I'm all flustered.

“Look, you're a good kid. You're not a little motherfucker like most of the rest of them. What grade do I usually give you? A?”

“Uh, y-yeah.”

“Congrats. You get a fuckin’ A this term.”

*hiccup*

He starts to laugh at me. Ugh! “The fuck? You got the hiccups now?”

Yes, Negan. I have the stupid hiccups because I'm a crazy person and can't have a simple conversation without my body breaking down into a bundle of anxiousness! Of course, I never would say that out loud, so I just nod.

“Just hold your fuckin’ breath and get rid of them.”

I do as he said and my hiccups go away. Wow. That actually works. Good to know.

“So… what do you want me to do during class?”

“Fuck if I care.” He thinks about it for a second while he looks at me. “Wait… you're fuckin’ right. If people see you doing fuck all and still passing the class, I'll probably get shit for it.” He leans back in his chair with a perplexed expression on his face. He casts his gaze down to the papers on his desk and a slow smile creeps onto his face. “You know much about football?”

“Um. I know that they score touchdowns and that the quarterback throws the ball…” I shrug. That really is about everything I know. I'm not exactly the sporty type.

“Do you know anything about fantasy football?”

“I've watched The League a few times…?” I give him a little shrug, not really knowing what he’s wanting from me.

“Hmm. Well here's what we're gonna do. You'll come here to my office, this period and we're gonna work on my lineup and shit.” He shuffles the papers around and picks one up that has a bunch of names and scribbles beside them. He puts it in front of me to look at. “This is my fuckin’ team. I need you to look all these people up and tell me every-fuckin’-thing about them. What position they play. Their performances in past games. Whether they started or not. What the fuck is going on in their personal lives. Any fuckin’ shit that might say how they'll play in the next game. Got it?”

“Uh… Yeah. I can do that.” I think.

“I'm gonna take the shit you give me and determine who I'm going to play in that week’s game. If the players I pick actually play and do fuckin’ well, then I get points. If I get more points than anyone else in my league, then I fuckin' win the season. That's fantasy football.”

“That makes sense… I guess.”

“Good. You can start by organizing all this shit I have here.”

“Okay…”

“I'll okay this all with the principal later today. It should be no problem. I'm still teaching you about a fuckin' sport after all.”

That's how it goes for a few classes. I would do his research on whatever guys he wants me to and I would bring it to him, all organized. He'd pick out his players and fix his lineup for the week. It didn't take Negan too long to realize that this work doesn’t exactly fill the entire period. Especially five days a week.

“Well, fuck. I didn't think this through. Now I feel responsible for educating you and shit for the whole period and keeping you fucking occupied.”

“Uh. I guess I can just read quietly while you do your work…”

“You know how to play chess?” he asks suddenly.

“…Yeah. I can play.” Why is he asking? That's… random.

He stands up and walks to a cupboard on his wall. He rummages around until he produces a wooden box. “Good. I haven't played in fucking forever. No one learns how to play fucking chess anymore.” He sets the box down on the desk and takes his seat. The board is one of the kind that folds up and contains all the pieces inside. He opens it up, spilling the pieces on his desk. The two of us scoop up our pieces and begin to set them on the board.

“Oh, uh… I'm not very good, I don't think.” Why did I say that? I know I am pretty good at chess. Not that I've played recently. I used to play with my mom all the time. And my dad. When I was a kid. Before he died.

“It'll be a short game, then.”

We each take our turns, carefully making sure not to make any mistakes. I see his expression change after a few turns, from a smile to a tight frown. He is deep in thought with each move of the pieces. I admit, he is great at chess. I didn't really expect him to be.

“Checkmate,” Negan says, finally letting his grin back on his face.

“Good game, Coach.” I hold out my hand to shake his. That is just good sportsmanship. My dad would be proud.

“Why the fuck did you tell me you weren't very good?” he asks as he shakes my hand. “I'm fuckin’ amazing at chess and I just barely won.”

I shrug, not really knowing what to say. “I don't know…”

“Don't fuckin’ do that. Downplay yourself. If you’re fuckin’ good at something, own that shit.”

“I, uh. Okay... I will.”

The bell rings signaling the end of the period. Thank god. That seemed like it was going to turn into an awkward “Do you have self esteem issues?” conversation. No, thank you. I don't need the pamphlet… again. I gather up my things and leave quickly, or as quickly as I can on my crutches, giving Negan a small wave as I pass through the doorway.

After a few weeks, I actually begin to get comfortable around Negan. We talk about football and the league as we play chess during our class time. Often, though, our conversations go to more everyday things and we get to know each other pretty well.

“There is no way you were a nerd in high school!” I exclaim between giggles.

“I didn't say I was a nerd in high school, I said a was a nerdy fuckin’ kid. I was a chubby fuck when I was little. My family was poor as fuck, too, so I had no friends. Pretty much all I ever did was read all those same fantasy books you read now and watch a ton of sci-fi shit. And play chess with my mom.

“No way! You were fat nerd?!” I giggle. The thought of him being anything but the way he is now is just funny to me.

“Fuck yeah, I was. Then I switched schools and shot up 6 inches when I was fourteen. And started playing baseball. That helped with the whole fuckin’ popularity thing.”

“So you went from nerd to jock just like that?”

“I never really stopped being a nerd.” He pauses. “But don't tell a fuckin’ soul that, Chuck.” He points at me and gives me a stern look.

“I don't believe you! Okay, okay. Favorite character from Lord of the Rings?”

“Aragorn. He's a badass!”

“Uh. What's the name of the ship from Alien?”

“Oh shit. Uh. Uh... Nostromo!” He snaps his fingers as he comes up with the name.

“Okay. Ah! What's this from, ‘Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most human.’?”

“Really? Fucking Wrath of Khan. Everyone knows that!”

“Ooooh.” I make a sarcastically impressed face. “Okay. Um… ‘All those moments will be lost, in time, like tears in rain.’”

“Blade Runner. Next.”

“‘Put on the glasses!’”

He laughs. “They Live! I'm surprised you fucking know that one!”

“It's a classic! Okay, okay. Oooh, I know! You'll get this one. ‘Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal.’”

“Hmm.” He thinks for a moment. “Nope. Don't know that one.”

“What?! That's from Firefly!”

“Never heard of it.”

“Oh my god! It's amazing! It was a tv show but it only had one season. But it was soooo good. You should look it up. It has hookers in it. You'll like it.” I laugh at my own joke.

“Ha ha, Chuck. Very funny,” he says sarcastically. “I shouldn't let you fuckin' talk to me like that, you know.” He points at me as I move my bishop.

“Checkmate!” I exclaim.

“Fuck!” He snaps his gaze to the board. “You distracted me with talk of hookers!”

  ———

  We're meeting in the library now.

I read the note on Negan's door. Really, Negan? I gotta hobble all the way to the library now? You couldn’t’ve told me any earlier?

I make my way to the library as fast as I can, but still arrive after the final bell. No one stops me in the halls anymore, though, because of my crutches. Negan is waiting for me outside the library doors as I turn the corner.

“This way.” I follow him to a table in the far corner of the library. The chess board is already set up and waiting for us. We take our seats and began to play.

“Why are we meeting here instead of your office?”

“Because I fucking said so.”

Jeez. He's in a mood. I hate when he's cranky. It puts me on edge. He goes to move his pawn and I notice that his knuckles are all cut up and bruised.

“What happened to your hand?”

“I fucked it up.” He snaps back.

Okay. No conversation this time.

Or the next time.

Or the time after that.

He hasn’t been himself for a few days. Something is up with him, but I don’t know what. It takes a week of completely silent chess matches before things go back to normal… ish. We still meet in the library, but Negan is back to his old self, it seems. I don’t ask what happened and he doesn’t tell.

“I'm getting my cast off next week, so I guess this will be one of our last games.”

“Why?”

I’m confused at his response. “Why am I getting my cast off?”

“Don’t be a smartass. Why would we stop playing?” he clarifies.

“Well, I figured I'd go back to my regular gym class.”

“This period is still free for both of us. Why does you going back to gym mean that we have to fucking stop playing chess this period?”

“I guess it doesn't, really.”

“Good. Because I think I need to kick your ass a few more fucking times to get ahead of you on wins.”

“You're keeping count?”

“You're not?” He caught me. I am keeping count. And I’m ahead by four games.

“You can't just let me be ahead?”

“Fuck, no! There's no way I'll let you graduate holding that shit over my head.”

“We're going to play the rest of the year then?”

“What, are you that bored of me?”

“No, of course not. I just always thought you were biding your time until you could be rid of me.”

“Really? You think I'm that much of an asshole?”

“No. I didn't mean it like that.” Did I hurt his feelings? I didn't know that was possible.

“I told you when we fucking started that I thought you were a good kid. And I haven't played chess like this since fuckin’ college.”

“Thank you, I think. That's a compliment, right?”

“Well, I meant it as one, so you're fucking welcome.” He smirks at me, but it quickly turns into a frown. “The fuck you lookin’ at, Brandon! ” Negan yells as he shifts his gaze to look behind me. I turn my head to see a boy from my class looking our way.

“Nothing, sir. ” He stands there for a few moments then leaves. That’s weird. I don’t really know what to make of it.

“Uh. What was that all about?”

“Don't worry about it.” Okay. That's all the info I'll get out of him. I know that tone.

“His name is Brendon, you know-”

“I know what his fuckin’ name is. I just hate that kid. Stay away from him, okay? He's a douchebag.”

I laugh a little bit at how Negan is talking about another student. He’s not wrong, though, about him being a douche. I hate that kid, too. He always harasses me, saying how good I look all the time just to tease me.

Negan rubs his beard and looks a bit uncomfortable. Maybe he’s not exactly back to his old self like I thought. “You know I would never be inappropriate with you, right?” he says quickly, as if he really doesn’t want to say the words.

I’m taken aback at the sudden change in topic. I know that some of the kids joke with me about my “extracurriculars” so they say, with Negan, but I never thought they actually believed it or talked with anyone else about it. I wonder if that stuff got back to him and that's why he’s acting so strangely. That would make sense, actually. He’s probably just been trying to cover his back. A male teacher meeting with a female student alone in his office could seem suspicious. But if Negan were to have an affair with a student, I’m pretty sure I would be his last choice.

“Yeah, I know. I trust you. I know you would never do anything like that,” I say genuinely.

“Good.” He looks at me with a strange expression. Like he’s trying to read my mind to make sure I’m not lying.  

“So… My mom wants to invite you and your wife over for dinner sometime.” I change the subject after a few tense moments because I really don’t want to dwell on that uncomfortable topic. I wasn't lying, though. My mom had been trying to get me to ask him over for dinner for a while. She said she wanted to thank him for being such a good teacher to me. I figured she just wanted to ogle him.

“Hmm.” He looks away, his expression becoming lighter as he looks back to me. “Yeah. I think we can come over on Thursday. Lucille will be fuckin’ happy. She loves meeting parents and shit. I fuckin’ hate it.”

“Well I'll be sure to tell my mom that.” We both laugh.

“I didn't mean your parents. You're one of the only kids I can fuckin’ stand. All the rest of those little douchebags were raised by fuckin’ big douchebags and I hate dealing with them. If your mom raised you right than she must be a pretty good woman.”

I laugh. My mom would probably love to hear him say that. “I should've had you write my college recommendations. ‘Chuck was possibly raised right and I can effin’ stand her’.” I make him laugh with my impression of him.

“You know, you can have a real smart fuckin’ mouth, sometimes.���

 ———

 “Dinner was delicious, Diane,” Lucille says while delicately patting the corners of her mouth with her napkin. She is very beautiful. Her silky straight dark auburn hair falls just past her shoulders and complements her icy blue eyes perfectly. Her stylish clothing flatters her petite frame and highlights her femininity. And she is the exact opposite of Negan. Quiet. Polite. Poised. With an air of nobility about her. I bet her family had money growing up. I wonder how she got with Negan…

“Yeah. That was fuckin’ great. We’ll have to have you cook for us more fuckin’ often.” My mom laughs. I warned her not to be offended by Negan’s language. Not that she’s against swearing to begin with, but Negan’s style of cursing can be jarring.

“You're more than welcome any time. You've been so good to my daughter, Negan. You know, Chuck doesn't have many friends, so you taking an interest has been so good for her.”

“Oh my god, mom. I'm right here,” I say lowly. I know my face has to be bright red since my cheeks and ears are burning hot. My mom gives me a smile as if she didn't just embarrass me horribly.

“She's a good kid,” Negan says while looking at my mother. Okay, guys. I am still here.

“Yes. You're a very fine young lady and I'm sure your future will hold great things,” Lucille actually says to me, smiling warmly. She seems so amazing. No wonder Negan settled down with her. Jeez, she’s so perfect that I kinda wanna settle down with her.

“Well I think it's about time for us to get fuckin’ going. Ready, babe?” Negan says to Lucille after a few more minutes of light conversation.

“I suppose it is getting late. Thank you very much for the delicious dinner, Diane.” Lucille makes her way over to my mother and gives her a friendly hug with Negan doing the same. “And very nice to meet you, Charlotte.” She hugs me, too. I've never really liked hugging people, but she is so nice, so I soldier through it. I try not to be too awkward, which is a feat for me.

“Nice to meet you, too.” I give her a smile.

Negan walks past me, giving me a small nod. “See you tomorrow, kid.” He turns back to my mom. “Will you see us out, Diane?”

“Oh, sure.” She follows them out to their car, which is parked on the street.

After a little bit, I walk upstairs to my room to get ready for bed. As I walk over to my windows to close the curtains, I look outside and see that my mom is hugging Negan and Lucille has her hand on my mom’s shoulder. That's kinda weird. What are they doing? It looks like they're consoling her, or something. But that makes no sense.

I watch them speak to each other for a few more minutes until Negan and Lucille get into their car and drive off. I change into my pjs and go downstairs to ask my mom about the encounter. I find her standing in front of the sink washing the dishes from dinner.

“What was that all about?” I ask.

“What, sweetie?”

“With Negan. Outside. I saw you talking with him.”

“Oh.” She clears her throat. “I was just telling him again how much his friendship with you means to me.” She continues to wash the dishes, not raising her gaze.

“Jeez, mom. You're gonna make him think I'm some pitiful outcast or something.”

She turns around and pulls me into a tight hug. “I love you so much, Chuck. I just want the world for you. And sometimes this world can be such a horrible place.” She kisses my forehead.

“Okay, mom. I love you, too.” I'm not quite sure what this is all about, but whatever. My mom could always be a bit overdramatic. “I'm headed to bed. Night.” I pull away from her and turn to leave the kitchen.

“Night, sweetie.”

 ——   ——

 Chuck is pulled out of her memories by the sound of the metal door scraping open. She covers her overly sensitive eyes as light floods the small room. Negan's large form casts a long shadow onto her as he steps into the doorway.

“Come on, Chuck. Time to go.” His voice is flat, emotionless.

Chuck slowly stands, stretching out her stiff limbs. As soon as she gets to her full height, she feels light headed. She tries to take a step, but her vision starts to tunnel. The last thing she feels before darkness takes over is Negan's arms wrapping around her.  

[pixelsandpins]

I just spent this afternoon and early morning writing the most self-indulgent 2495 words I’ve ever written because I was stressed as hell. 

It’s also on Ao3, but heck to tumblr and their links not showing in tags apparently. Here it is, under the cut. 

A Year Later: Hugo

(A @dreamdaddygame ficlet)

Dadsona/Hugo (Obvs)

Teen, Fluff (mild cursing and slight innuendo)"And this one's called a camel clutch."

The entirety of Hugo's weight is on my lumbar, and his hands are threaded under my chin, pulling my head back.

It's awful.

When we were still on leg locks, it was sexy. Now it's just a literal pain in my ass...and neck...and back. But it makes him happy, and I'm only a little sorer than usual the next day.

"How's that feel? Do you like that stretch, honey?"

Oh my god, he's getting a sick kick out of this, isn't he?

"Ew. Really?"

When I look up, Ernest is standing in the doorway of the office looking down at us with a very particular shade of contempt. Hugo drops my chin and immediately moves off of me.

"It's not what it looks like. We were just wrest-"

"Wrestling. I know. Gross."

Ernest starts walking off.

"Wait!" Hugo calls out, and Ernest leans back lazily to appear in the doorframe again. "How was your weekend with Mike?"

"Fine. We went to the water park, and he bought me some games."

"That's great. So you had fun?"

"Yeah sure." Ernest shrugs and stomps off down the hall. We can hear the door to his room slam.

Hugo hops onto his feet, then pulls me up, being sure to give me a quick peck on the lips along the way. I could definitely stand for something a little heavier, but we both know we need to get dinner started.

The thing I had underestimated most when Amanda left for college was my willingness to actually cook a meal for one. I had been living on nachos and salami sandwiches for a solid six weeks until Hugo had soundly chastised me into eating dinner with him and Ernest as much as I wanted. This certainly made it easier when Amanda told me she'd gotten an internship that would be keeping her there for the summer.

I like to think that in the year Hugo and I've been together, Ernest has come to at least tolerate my presence, but it's so hard to tell with that kid.

When I help with dinner, my duties generally consist of leaning back against the sink and looking pretty. Maybe occasionally passing Hugo a spice or two. This time's no different, but there seems to be an extra bit of tension in Hugo's shoulders as he lifts a pot out of the cabinet and fills it with water.

"Something's bugging you. What is it?"

"Just...the usual," Hugo sighs. "I get...frustrated. I don't mind Mike taking him out to do fun things, but I just wish he'd leave something for me. It undermines my authority when he can just go to his other dad's and get the things that he has to earn from me." Hugo places the pot down hard on the stove and sets it to boiling. "And you know I've talked to him about it."

I did know this. Intimately. I had heard half of multiple heated conversations about it.

"I wish there was something I could do to help."

Hugo moves away from the stove and comes to stand in front of me at the sink. His fingertips find the counter top on either side of my hips, his chest pressing against mine. He leans in and gives me a quick peck that turns into the something more that I was pretty keen on before. He pulls away and rests his forehead on my shoulder.

"It's enough that I have someone to bitch about it to." He kisses me under the bottom edge of my jaw. Then my neck. Then the edge my collarbone under my shirt.

"EWWWWWW. IN THE KITCHEN? REALLY? I'd rather you go back to wrestling." Ernest is standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Hugo makes a clear point of not backing away from me this time.

"Spaghetti will be ready in about twenty minutes, so don't get too into one of your games or anything."

Ernest rolls his eyes and goes back to his room, again.

 When I get out of the shower later, Hugo is sitting in the middle of the bed staring down in irritation at his phone. He's only put his boxers back on which is just excellent, really, but anger doesn't look good on him.

"Boop." I press a finger to the space between his crinkled brows. "What's goin' on, teach? Someone about to get detention?" Hugo tosses the phone onto the bed and rubs his eyes under his glasses.

"One of the games that Ernest brought home. It was one I specifically told Mike not to get him, so I texted him, and he says 'oh, I'm sorry, it was a gift that my boyfriend got him.' And I just….we had an agreement. We had an agreement that if either of us brought new people around, we'd get to meet them first before Ernest. And he's been good about it before, you know? I know he's dated people. But it's like...as Ernest gets older, Mike thinks he can just let up on the rules, and now is the WORST time for that. We need to be able to show solidarity if Ernest is going to get his act together."

"Well, I mean….to be fair, I've never met Mike after all this time." I sit down on the bed next to him, careful to arrange my towel to not get the sheets wet. Hugo leans on my shoulder.

"That's different. You already knew Ernest because we were friends and neighbors. And I told Mike when we started dating for real. I even invited him to come meet you, and he could never find the time. Because he's a dick." Hugo lets out a huge exhale that rattles his whole body.

"From what I've heard, Mike's always been kind of a dick, right? Is this some advanced tier dickage we're dealing with?"

Hugo chuckles a little.

"No. I think...I think this time, it's possible, that I might be the dick."

"Whatchu mean?"

He sighs one of those impossible sighs again.

"Nothing. You staying over?"

"Why do you always ask that? Because you know I am."

"I know. I just like hearing you say it."

He bites my ear a little then runs his tongue along the inside of the outer ridge.

"Hugo. I don't have another round in me, and if you keep doing that…"

And he keeps doing that. And I'm already apologizing to my future self for how sore I'm going to be in the morning.

 I'm waist deep in a marathon of Doomsday Wedding Planner when there's a knock on the door. Hugo's got meetings after school, so I know it's not him. It's rare he comes here, anyway; I'm the one who goes to his place. When I go to answer, then, I'm not sure who to expect. And yet, still, I didn't expect Ernest to be standing there, bored looking with his school bag hanging off his elbows.

"Uh...hey," he drawls. Then he just stands there. Waiting for…something...I guess.

"Did you want to come in?"

Ernest shrugs and pushes past me into the living room, flopping down into the recliner. He still doesn't say anything until I sit down on the couch catty corner to him.

"I heard you and Hugo talking last night," he says with pretty much no pre-anticipation.

Oh, he heard us talking. Oh god, then he probably heard everything. OH GOD, THEN HE'S PROBABLY HEARD EVERYTHING THIS WHOLE TIME.

A year's worth of mortification sets in as one lump sum.

"Is he mad at Mike about his new boyfriend?" Ernest asks, staring at the now muted TV as it flashes through a montage of the chicest wedding chapels/bomb shelters on the east coast.

"No, kid. It's just...grown up stuff. Why are you asking me, though? Should really be talking to your dad about it."

"Because he'll say what you just did. That it's grown up stuff. Does he think I can't handle it? It's really fucking annoying, honestly." He rests his head on his hand.

Well, shit. I have to do some unexpected dadding, and I'm not even wearing my dad pants. Frankly, Ernest should be glad I'm wearing pants at all considering my usual lounge attire. Amanda was usually pretty easy with this sort of thing. I almost shared too much with her, though, I guess.

"Okay. Well, I'm not one of your dads, so will a man to man talk work?"

He looks as me for the first time, dropping his arm onto the armrest and raising his eyebrows. I guess that means I should keep going.

"Being a parent is...hard…"

Wow. Elegant.

"Luckily, you've got a partner. You're a team. You can work together. You argue, yeah, and disagree on how things should be done, but, generally, you've got each other's backs. When you're a single parent, though, it's even harder. You're doing a job meant to be a team as one person. It's...well...it's fuckin' rough, dude. Seriously."

I can't believe I'm swearing in front of my boyfriend's son. Whatever. It's not the worst he's ever heard from me, apparently. OH GOD I'M REMEMBERING, AGAIN.

"And the trick is that we're not supposed to let you guys know any of this is happening. We're supposed to sort of just keep everything under control without you ever knowing that we're all really just playing it by ear. Anyway, your dads pretty much have the worst of both worlds in a lot of ways. They've got all the bickering over how to raise you, but they're both trying to do it alone." When I started I had no idea where this was going, but hell if this isn't some damn fine fathering I'm doing. "So, I guess what I'm trying to get at is that there's some stuff that parents and grown ups have to deal with, but we don't want to worry our kids with it. And we don't tell you not because we don't think you can't handle it. We just don'twant you to have to handle it. It's not your job. It's ours. Am I-uh-making sense?" He's in his default bored face, so I can't tell if he's actually listening.

"So Hugo's not mad at Mike?" Earnest says flatly. I pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Hugo's got some…concerns related to Mike, but no, he's not, necessarily, mad. And he's certainly not mad about Mike's new boyfriend. So just...let dad take care of this one, okay? You don't need to worry about it. That's what we're here for."

Ernest stares off and away, thinking…maybe? It seems like a slightly different shade of apathetic, at least.

"But, you know, you can always talk to Hugo. He'll listen. Or...me...you know...maybe...if it's weird talking to him…" I add hastily, just a little worried about the door I'm leaving open.

"Okay." He's says it short and sweet, gets up out of the chair, and robots his way to the door, avoiding eye contact the entire time. "See you later tonight, I guess." The door half-slams behind him when he leaves.

 It's a week later when, instead of retreating to his room with his plate, Ernest sits with us at dinner. Hugo and I stop playing footsie under the table immediately to look at him.

"I haven't actually met Mike's boyfriend, yet. I know you were mad about that, but you shouldn't be. But Mike's got a bunch of pictures of him, though, and he told me about him and stuff. And he said that if it was okay with you, he wants me to, like, meet him." Ernest goes silent after having his say.

"Well, okay. I'm fine with that. I'll e-mail him later." Hugo darts a few quick glances at me, unsure. Ernest pushes his food around his plate a bit.

"I think we should all, like, get together. You guys and Mike. Just...together. Everyone." He pushes his outstretched fingers together to make them interlock a few times. "Because...I don't like it when you and Mike fight. You guys get pissy with each other and you think I don't know, but I do. Like, I'm not stupid. So I just thought...Well, I mean, we're supposed to all be a team right? We're supposed to work together...and stuff...or...something."

It's apparent Ernest is struggling to properly convey big thoughts with small words and growing a little frustrated with himself that he can't properly.

"Ernest," Hugo says softly. He reaches out across the table and places his hand in top of his son's. He looks like he wants to pull away but doesn't. "If that's what you want I'm more than happy to oblige. I'll talk to him tonight."

"Cool," Ernest replies. He pulls his hand away, picks up his plate, then vanishes like a ghost into the back of the house. The door closes quietly.

"You did something," Hugo accuses.

"Why the very idea. I'm offended you would even suggest such a thing." I flick my fork at him in defiance.

Hugo smiles at me.

"Did you father my son in my absence?"

"Again, I'm utterly shocked you would think so little of me."

He puts his hand on my thigh.

"Whatever it was, thank you. Really." He leans in and kisses me on the cheek.

"I didn't really do anything," I admit. "He just asked some questions and we just sort of...talked."

"And he listened, so you must be some kind of teenage boy whisperer."

"I'm just not his dad, is all. You remember what it was like to be that age. There are just some things you feel weird talking to your parents about, and I'm not his parent. I'm just some guy."

"Hm. Well, you're a little closer than you realize, I think." He waggles his eyebrows at me a bit.

"I don't-uh-what do you mean?"

"He included you in that 'us' earlier. And he came to you, didn't he? And he certainly sees you more than his other dad, nowadays." Hugo flashes half a grin at me.

"You know I was just getting used to not having to parent, anymore. No one told me I was going to have to put in a few extra years. And with a boy, of all things."

"If he starts calling you 'dad' before me, I'm going to lose it."

"Hey, if you need someone to call you 'daddy,' I can help you out."

Hugo stares me down over the top of his glasses.

"Oh? Really?" His lips meet mine then pull away slightly. "We can always give it a test run." When he kisses me again, the tip of his tongue touches my teeth. Then I remember and push him away just a little.

"I think you might need to consider some possible sound proofing options."

[chrishoulihan]

FYF ADVENTCHEA

So this shit turned into a fucking novel, I’m putting it under a cut and it’s just as much for my own recollection as it is for anyone who wants to hear about my festival weekend. Get into it

So I arrived in LA on Thursday morning after my flight was delayed by an hour and ended up getting there at the exact same time as Anna A @yourveryeyes which was fortuitous! We took a Lyft to Exposition Park to pick up her wristband for the festival, wandered around a little bit, and ended up taking the Metro downtown to meet up with Kylie @electric-candyman who was GREAT TO MEET and was also going to the festival, and her friend Chris who doesn’t have a Tumblr afaik and was going to both FYF and the Planetarium show that night. We went to MOCA which was pretty sweet, they had a Rothko room and a few Rauschenberg pieces that were really cool to see in person. After that Anna and I split off to go to Hollywood and check out Amoeba on our way to Sufjan and that was obviously amazing, I didn’t have enough space in the bags I packed to buy any records (which was by design, my broke ass can’t afford to drop a lot of money on vacation and you can’t waste money on stuff if you don’t have room to carry it home *tapping head guy meme*) but I bought a little heart-eyed cat emoji pin as a souvenir and I definitely wanted to buy 5000 things I couldn’t have.

From there we went to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery for Planetarium and met up with Anna L @louisdebumhole ANN- SQUAD REUNITED HELL YEAH. We got to the cemetery and went in all together like over an hour after the doors opened but since it was a lawn show there was still barely anyone lined up at the stage by the time we got there and we got just behind the rail?? AMAZING. I haven’t had the opportunity for rail at a Sufjan show since the Christmas pageant in 2012. Chris showed up not too long after us and joined us right by the stage and Anna L’s friend was there on the rail too so it was a party.

OBVIOUSLY PLANETARIUM WAS INCREDIBLE. My dumb ass forgot to save my Instagram story so I don’t have any of my own videos but it was so great. Sufjan wore his stupid beautiful clashing pajama suit and some fuckin moon boots and he looked fabulous and sang like an angel and said a lot of nonsensical inspirational stuff (like this which is the only video I managed to salvage.) The whole record sounds even richer and fuller live; Jupiter, Moon, and Venus sounded especially amazing. AND fun fact, Matt Berninger was there and watched the entire show from the left side of the stage! My indie dad Matty B supporting his homies!! I also got a setlist after the show ended, which was exciting even though of course it’s literally just a list of planets and in the exact same order as the record lmao. But it’s my first Sufjan-related setlist and I will cherish it forever.

So we got back to Anna L’s house I think around midnight that night and by then I had been awake for like 21 hours so I was exhausted and basically passed out as soon as I could. Next day was the START OF FYF and Anna A/Kylie/Chris and I decided that we wanted to go for Bjork rail, since she was the first act on the main stage on Friday and there weren’t really any other bands playing before her elsewhere that we were dying to see. Before we went to the festival Anna A and I hung out with her friend Jen who was great, we got boba and then went downtown to The Last Bookstore, which was bomb, and had lunch at Grand Central Market. Got to the festival about half an hour before the gates opened, made it through the long ass queue, and went immediately to the main stage where we got basically center-right just behind the rail!! For fucking Bjork!!! Commence freaking out for the next three hours. Chris and Kylie showed up later right behind us and it was such a fun and easy queueing experience for me, everyone around us was super chill and everyone was so hype to see Bjork that we pretty much just looked out for each other and bonded over our mutual fandom. Anna and I had intended to see Bjork together in NYC back in 2015 but it got cancelled so this was a LONG TIME COMING and I’m so glad that we were able to make it happen.

So Bjork was the first set of my whole festival weekend and honestly it was one of the best performances I’ve ever seen?? SHE WAS AMAZING and I knew I was gonna be emotional but I wasn’t fucking prepared for how surreal and incredible it felt to hear THAT VOICE in person and to be that close to her while it happened. Unreal. She had Arca with her as her DJ and a whole string ensemble, and she came out wearing a glow in the dark lime green headdress mask thing and a huge puffy dress that made her look like a beautiful pinata. Everything about it was fucking perfect; she did at least one song from every record except Vespertine. Multiples from Vulnicura/Homogenic/Post, Come to Me, Mouth’s Cradle, Wanderlust, Mutual Core. Fucking awesome. Favorites for me were probably Joga (CRIED), Mouth’s Cradle (fuckin bomb arrangement and a huge surprise), Isobel & Bachelorette (two of my all time faves), Notget and Hyperballad which had LITERAL FIREWORKS AND FIREBALLS going off onstage behind her?? What the fuck?? Amazing. And it was the most fun and loving group of people on the rail I’ve ever been part of; everyone around me was so genuinely excited and emotional and singing along and I could FEEL THE LOVE.

So that was an amazing start to the festival obviously and after Bjork we met up with Anna L and went straight to go see Anderson Paak who I missed BOTH TIMES he was here in Portland last year because I’m an idiot, and WOW he is so great live!! I’m actively offended that he is not my boyfriend tbh, he has the most beautiful and infectious smile I’ve ever seen on a human being. Big ol dance party up in the lawn stage. After that we went back to the main stage to watch Missy Elliott for a while and that was a lot of fun; found out after the fact that Bjork and fucking BEYONCE were watching off stage, so like, now I can say I have been in the presence of Beyonce. Went to Flying Lotus early which was the last set of the night to get a good view, with our sweet Flylo-branded 3D glasses obv. Flylo was amazing as always and the 3D show was awesome, I hope he takes it on the road cause that shit was fire. I’m also really into the mystical shaman look he seems to be cultivating lately lmao, and he looks cute as hell with the longer hair!! One of the biggest highlights of the whole weekend for me was when he started the Captain Murphy stuff, got one verse through The Killing Joke, and then was like “you know what fuck this I changed my mind, I want to do this song cause I never get the chance to do it” and fucking busted out with COSPLAY, which is only my favorite Captain Murphy track ever!!! I wasn’t expecting it cause it’s pretty obscure even for the Captain Murphy stuff and I lost my goddamn mind it was so much fun. (Gotta say though that the longer he keeps riding out Murphy tracks from 2012 at his live shows, the more egregious it is that he still hasn’t fuckin dropped a Murphy album or any substantial Murphy release since then. Come on bro. I’ve been waiting 5 years) ANYWAY so that was great of course. Day One = big success.

Day Two! Before we went to the festival that day we met up and had lunch with Anna L’s bf Jesus, who had a Saturday/Sunday festival pass and is a lovely man with great taste in music and cat photos and baseball caps. First set of the day for me was Thundercat and it was my SIXTH time seeing him live, which is hilarious (gonna be 7 times in September.) One of the first things he said to the crowd after getting on stage was “you guys look like you smell weird,” which was accurate. Obviously he’s always great live and I loved getting to hear more of the Drunk songs since the last time I saw him. He’s also rocking some pretty sweet neon pink dreads right now. Caught the end of Noname’s set with Anna A and Chris afterwards and really enjoyed it! I want to check out her album now cause she was great. Grabbed some food and then the whole crew met up together again to see Perfume Genius – GORGEOUS. I’d never seen him live before and he’s so captivating to watch. His performance of Slip Away to close the set was one of my favorites of the whole weekend.

After that I ended up splitting up with everyone, watched some of Arca’s set but ended up leaving to go hang out on the lawn before Erykah Badu because my feet were killing me and I really needed to sit down and recharge. Erykah was supposed to go on at 9:50; cut to 10:15 and she still hasn’t gone on and I was already planning on cutting out of her set at 10:30 to try and snag a semi decent spot for Frank Ocean, so I said fuck it and bailed to go do that. BUMMED I DIDN’T GET TO SEE HER TBH I was really looking forward to it. But it’s kinda good that I left sooner rather than later because the main stage was already pretty packed by 10:30 for Frank. I got an okay spot to the right of the stage probably about 10+ rows back from his platform catwalk thing, and it was easily the most crowded audience I was in all weekend. Talk about being packed like sardines it was madness, if I had showed up like 10 minutes later than I did I would have had an absolutely shit view.

So like…..FRANK FUCKING OCEAN. Never ever thought the day would come that I’d see him live, and the whole experience was so incredibly special to me. I DEFINITELY cried buckets when he sang Lens, which has weirdly become one of my all time favorite tracks in the last few months, and Ivy really really got to me out of nowhere too. Literally everyone around me within earshot sang along to every single word of every song and it was amazing. He played an unreleased cover of some old school funk track that was absolute straight fucking fire, me and the girl next to me danced our asses off together. That shit better get an official release on his radio show like he said he was planning!! Also Brad Pitt was on stage at one point and that was HILARIOUS tbh I wish I had gotten any sort of video of that myself, but the way the wasted dude behind me shouted “WHAT THE FUUUCK” when he popped up on screen will remain fresh in my memory forever. The whole show was gorgeous and I just LOVE FRANK OCEAN!!! I want him to tour so bad so I can actually plan out a scenario where I can get rail for his show and have a better view.

Aaaand Day Three. Got to the festival kinda lateish because the first act the Ann- Squad wanted to see wasn’t till after 6 (Little Dragon), so once we got there we took some photos and wandered around a bit, met back up with Chris and Kylie and took these majestic photobooth pictures, and then Anna A and I went to Little Dragon early for a good spot. I had never seen them before and it was a blast, just a total dance party. They mostly played stuff from Season High which was fine by me cause that album fuckin bangs. Then mood whiplash when we went straight from Little Dragon to Moses Sumney lmao. We got to Moses’ set right when he started our mutual fave Lonely World, serendipitous tbh!! He is beautiful and I loooove the lighting setup he’s got going for his show, it felt really unique to me among the loud dancey festival fare.

After that we went back to the main stage for Solange, which was great; I’m not as familiar with her music as I could be tbh but I really enjoyed how conceptual and dance-oriented her show was. At one point a whole massive brass section streamed in out of nowhere just for one song and it was fuckin awesome. Towards the end of Solange’s set Kylie texted me to say that if we hurried there was still a little bit of rail space left for Run the Jewels in fifteen minutes, to which we were immediately like UHH YES WTF and hustled our way the fuck over – made it in time, got just behind the rail for motherfucking Run the Jewels right before they went on somehow, *Killer Mike voice* goddammit it’s a motherfucking miracle. Give Kylie 5000 gold medals tbh. And RTJ ended up being probably my favorite non-headlining set of the weekend, SO MUCH FUN. The crowd was fucking nuts, everyone around me was going stupidly hard, and I discovered that I know pretty much every word of RTJ3 lmao. The only thing that could have made it more perfect would have been if they’d done Panther Like A Panther, WHICH THEY DIDN’T and was greatly missed by me. But it was amazing. I’m kind of in love with El-P’s ridiculous ass tbh.

Last show of the weekend – Nine Inch Nails!! Who I love!!!!! And hadn’t seen live in almost four years!!!!!! I’m always fucking trash for Nine Inch Nails honestly, their live shows just turn me into a raging dancing idiot and this was no exception. ‘Wish’ will always be one of my favorite songs to hear live from any band ever. Also got to hear Something I Can Never Have and Reptile for the first time ever for me which was awesome!! Bold move of Trent to throw in Something I Can Never Have as the fourth song in a festival set but I was loving it. Like I said yesterday I randomly lost my fucking mind to The Hand That Feeds lmao, I was actually jumping around like a moron. The newer songs were great too, Field On Fire FUCKING BANGS live holy shit. Basically it was just so great to cap off the weekend with band that I’ve loved for ten years and are always fucking immaculate live. And then when it was all over I got chicken strips and fries and walked out of the festival with the fam eating my delicious food. Perfection.

So that was my weekend and I honestly could not have dreamed of having a better time. I’m so so glad that I was able to do this, see some of my favorite bands with an awesome group of people who love music just as much as I do, get out of town and clear my head, and find some healing at a time when I really needed it. I feel very lucky.