#wow i made a 0 note post that the people putting these posts on my dash in the first place won't ever see. yay i fixed it 👍

[sonicfrontiers]

stop putting "reblog this golden potato for good luck" type posts on my dash i feel like i'm going to have a meltdown 👍

[wakanai]

when I tell you I tried looking for videos-

ayt here's some links TT

okay this may/may not be inaccurate to my memory BUT just in case, ill explain why hehe

so from my understanding, SCP 682 is

an unkillable lizard

very smart but cannot be killed. the scientists are trying to kill him but they cant. SCP 682 lives in constant suffering because they put him in a container where he's in pain

and every time he breaks out of the container, he kills people

its said he kills anything and everything

but there was this one time, a little girl was put beside him

and he didn't kill the little girl but was actually really chill and even protective of her

so it kind of shows that scp 682 isn't a completely heartless monster and i get the vibes that he just wants to chill and go back to his own place without suffering from humans

anyways, I THINK this reminded me of you in a way cause

a. unkillable lmao

b. smart. cunning. can be manipulative.

c. but can also be really chill. like yk, he just wants to be free, my guy TT

d. can be kind too and would prob be really decent if the scientists didnt constantly attack him lmao

e. i get the vibes that scp 682 is just attacking out of self defense/aggression and wouldnt actively try to harm ppl if ppl just didnt go near him/try to capture him every single time

-- not sure how this relates to you tho sdjia but uh free scp 682 lore i guess TT

also lmao you're a mori kinnie thats so cool haha

when i saw your red flags, i was like UHMM-

but yk everyone has their toxic traits

and im glad you became a lot calmer too like ☺️💅

(don't mind me, I just remember that one post where your friend was like 'oh wow congrats for staying calm!' and gave you 1,000 pesos. cause honestly that was such a slay)

as someone with a mom and best friend who have anger issues and manipulative tendencies (TENDENCIES btw. its not a toxic relationship dw) -- i can..idk i can kind of see you better now. (IDK HOW TO SAY IT PROPERLY HELP TT)

cause like the first time, when you posted about being a mori kinnie and stuff, i was like 'omy this person is scary' --but the more i got to see stuff, the more i was like 'oh...this person is kind of...a normal person too' LMAO. EIFRHEJG help 😂😭

but yeahh TT TT

hehehe ughhh TT

anywy have a good day

xoxo

(ps the first time i saw your rant posts i kind of got mad because of what happened to you)

(i have this thing where i talk for too long im sorry TT.

TW: don't continue reading if you dont want to be reminded of some bad things in the past/if ur trying to move on already)..

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okay so like. the post that made me mad was when ur dad and his gf were fighting because the gf said your dad cares about you more than the dog.

that genuinely made me mad cause like

"BITCH, obv he cares more about his child. Thats HIS child TT. why would you expect a guy to care more for a dog than his own child like- TT TT. bruh be fr." ofjaijfe (please excuse my harmful language btw TT)

and the thing w the teddy too. hays. anyways.

im glad you got through it and continued living and slaying hehe. lezzgo man <33

plus points to ur dad btw, he seems rlly cool <3

(and yes, I read personal posts sometimes TT. it appears on my feed sometimes. tumblr may seem like screaming into the void but people can see it. like even if ur posts have 0 notes, that doesn't mean no one's read it <<< jus saying in case you'd rather not have people read your personal life huhu TT. please lmk if anything i say makes uncomfortable, im dense as a brick sometimes cause im an oda kinnie /j. ) but yeah TT. jus lmk if anything i say bothers u, ayt?

yirrr

ok i think im done now.

stay hydrated and have a good day ig TT

and dont forget to listen to 'love my body' by hwasa! (shameless recco. cause that song is currently in my head) <333

anyways yeah

xoxo

and have a good day

mwa

(ppl sometimes think im weird unique ✨ because i do things that aren't 'normal'

idk if doing this is normal but like, just know that i did this because i felt like it TT. so there we go. yeah. haha. hope u dont think im weird or creepy TT

and lmk if you do so i can back off lol.

ok thats it good day mwa mwa )

A friend told me I would be a SCP because no matter what I eat or what disease I have I'm always alive and I don't know how to make him believe I'm not one 😔

[lalal-99]

Could you do 55, 72 and 172 with Hyunjin from Stray Kids and a she-her reader? Thanks a lot for doing this for us 🥺❤️✨

55. "Are those my panties?" 72. "Is there a reason you're in my bed?" 172. "You can sit on my lap until I'm done working?"

Hyunjin x afab!reader | Co-workers to Lovers trope | smut | 3.4k words

Synopsis: Due to a mistake with the booking for your busienss trip, you have to share a bed with your self-loving, annoying co-worker.

Note: This was so much fun writing. I had a different idea in the beginning about this, and I already wrote 2k words for it, so maybe I'll finish that one after the prompt event is over.

Tumblr works on a reblog system. Please consider reblogging this post so that it can reach more people. Thank you :)

______________

One-Bed Situations

"You have 0 new messages."

As you scrolled through your Instagram news feed, searching for something to occupy yourself with while waiting for that promised drink at the bar, you put your head against the headboard of your bed. The pillow felt cold against your hair which was still a little damp from your shower, so you quickly turned onto your side. This simple movement took you longer than expected, which you could probably blame the tight dress cladding your body for. As much as you loved how the black fabric looked against your skin, it wasn't the most comfortable piece of clothing you owned.

"Y/N?" The voice coming from the bathroom just a few metres down made you roll your eyes as you turned yet again to look at the man in the doorway. To your surprise, he was clad in only a towel, perfectly hugging his narrow hips and caramel skin. You realised your staring soon enough, so you forced yourself to look up and into his face.

"What?" you questioned in annoyment as if you hadn't checked him out a second earlier.

"Is there a reason you are in my bed?"

"You mean my bed?" you corrected him, letting your phone fall onto the bedside table. "I'm waiting for you to finally finish your shower so that we can head downstairs."

"I'm sorry that it took me so long, but I don't usually get off four-hour flights looking this handsome," Hyunjin pointed out with a fake smile as he crossed his arms in front of his toned chest. "Also, it's my bed."

"You didn't honestly think I'd be sleeping on the couch, did you?"

From the second the bell boy had showed you to your room, revealing the mistake that had been made by whoever had booked your trip, you had made up your mind about how you would handle the situation. There was merely one way you could handle being given a room with one bed rather than two, seeing as you had already had your fair share of back problems. The couch, for the sake of not worsening your posture, was off-limits for you.

"So you just assumed I'd be sleeping on the couch then?" Hyunjin questioned as he leaned up against the wall. Way too quick for your liking you noticed his towel shifting, revealing a little more of his prominent V-line.

"Could you please put on pants before we have this conversation?"

As your hand came up to shield your eyes from the distraction that was your co-worker's pretty exterior, you heard a chuckle escape his plumb lips.

"Why? Don't think you can keep yours on?"

You didn't respond to that, simply cause you didn't know how to. It didn't happen too often that you found yourself speechless at Hyunjin's self-centred attitude. Usually, you knew just what to answer to his lack of humility, eventually bringing him down from his high horse but right now, you couldn't think of a reply. You would have never said it out loud, but the reason for that was the amount of skin he was showing. Though he didn't have to know that.

As Hyunjin rummaged through the content of his suitcase you tried focussing on anything but the white towel hanging around his waist. It was only when he pulled out a small item of clothing that you looked back up at him.

"Wow!" was all Hyunjin said as he held a pair of your undergarments up between his slim fingers. "I wouldn't have pegged you for someone wearing something so revealing on a business trip."

"Are those my panties?"

"Well, they aren't mine," Hyunjin answered with a laugh as he threw the piece of clothing at you. "Maybe next time, check twice which suitcase you put your dirty underwear in, okay?"

You tried to hide the redness on your cheeks to the best of your abilities, though the embarrassment you felt at that moment had to have some outlet. Without a single word spoken, you got up from the bed to throw them into the suitcase at the side of your bed - the right one, this time.

"Whatever. Just finish up so we can finally grab a drink. I don't want to work on the project until midnight."

With a smug smile still painted on his face, Hyunjin put on the remaining clothes he had prepared for tonight. And just like that, you didn't hate the idea of spending an hour at the bar before finishing up the work you still had to do.

_______________

"One Whiskey on the rocks, please. Thank you!"

"Make that two."

You tried to glide onto the barstool beside Hyunjin as swiftly as he had done seconds earlier, though yet again, your dress made your mission more difficult. It must have looked ridiculous to an outsider, the way you struggled to sit down - you could tell that it did from Hyunjin's facial expression. The smile that spread from his left to his right ear would have made you feel embarrassed, had you not had your share of embarrassment for today already. After that little faux-pas with your panties about ten minutes earlier, you were done for the day with awkwardness.

"Interesting choice of beverage." The missing taunt in his tone was surprising as you had expected your co-worker to make fun of you for the way you had sat down. Usually, he didn't think twice about teasing you about everything you did, but maybe he was a little tired from the flight. "I imagined you'd order the usual Appletini or Cosmo."

"Really? Do I seem that basic to you?" you questioned as you propped your elbows onto the shining countertop.

"Not after I found out about your choice of underwear for a business trip, you don't."

"Oh, shut up," you quickly brushed his comment off as you felt your cheek start to heat up again. You fanned cold air towards your face for a few seconds as it thankfully worked in stopping any remaining embarrassment from coming up. "I do enjoy the occasional Cosmo but I do not - in no way, shape, or form - want to be hungover tomorrow. So, Whiskey it is."

"Makes sense," Hyunjin agreed as he took a handful of peanuts out of the bowl next to him. "You know who doesn't care about hangovers on a business trip? Jenn."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember that trip I took with her a couple of months ago? The one you were too sick to take?" You nodded at his words as the memory of your sudden sickness came back to you. Jenn had merely been a substitute as you couldn't make it out of bed for more than to make it to your couch. "She got super drunk the day before the meeting and almost didn't make it through it without puking."

"No way!" you exclaimed as a smile spread on your face. Somehow, learning how one of your sworn enemies had made a complete fool out of herself was amusing to you. Apparently, it also was to Hyunjin.

"Yeah. It was super fun to watch." Learning that the man had his very own difficulties with Jenn somehow made him more interesting to you. As though you had finally found something you had in common. "Well, it was until she started to come on to me. That was just super uncomfortable."

"She did not!" As the barkeeper came back over, handing you your drinks, you threw him a small smile before looking back at Hyunjin.

"She so did, though," he assured you as he took a sip from his drink, letting the liquid roll over his tongue for a few seconds before swallowing. His adam's apple bobbed up and down once as you felt your eyes leave his face for a moment. "I swear, I'm not making this up. Her hand was on my thigh for so long."

"I think you're reading into it," you told Hyunjin as you drank a sip from your beverage the same way he had done seconds earlier. The brown liquid swirled over your tongue softly as you closed your eyes at the burning sensation. "She probably touched you for a second. Your ego just thinks she came on to you."

"Okay, first of all, you weren't there," Hyunjin tried to convince you as he set his glass back down. "And second, I know when women flirt with me. It wasn't imagination, and it definitely wasn't my ego."

You shook your head at Hyunjin's story as you couldn't believe it.

"Even if she did come on to you-"

"She did."

"Even if she did, there's no way you didn't like it. If she did flirt with you and put her hand on your thigh and stuff, you for sure loved the attention."

Hyunjin's eyes didn't leave your face as you took another sip of your drink. It was the smug smile playing on his lips that made you set your glass back down.

"You're just jealous."

You almost choked on your tongue as those words left his mouth.

"What?" you coughed as the hot liquid went down your throat faster than usual. "Am not."

"You so are," Hyunjin determined as his hand ran through his locks. That you loved the way his blonde hair framed his face, you didn't even think about saying. "And I can assure you that you don't have to worry about Jenn. I don't like her like that."

"You mean you don't like that she's totally into you and worships the ground you walk on? Sure!"

"Believe it or don't, but I don't like it when women throw themselves at me. I know I'm pretty. No need to show me all the time."

And just like that, the narcissism took over his being again. Honestly, you were mesmerised at how he could be normal one second, and in love with himself the next one.

"I like to have a little challenge. And sometimes, that involves months-long bantering and teasing as I set everything in motion."

The way Hyunjin looked at you while saying something like this made you giddy. For a second, you were sure he was talking about you. But then again, there was no way that your whole relationship - which was all over the place, to begin with - was based on him trying to get into your pants. Even if, right now, the thought of that didn't sound too repelling.

"And it works, too. Every single time." With those words, you felt Hyunjin's hand brushing up against your barely clad leg, causing goosebumps to rise all over your body.

_______________

How do things happen? How does anything happen? How do situations turn so rapidly, that you can't fully comprehend what's happening? And does it even matter how things happen if everyone involved loves the outcome?

You, for one, didn't care how this had happened. Even if it didn't make any sense, right now, you didn't even think about finding a reason. Because all you could think of were Hyunjin's pink lips on every part of your body.

How you had gotten from the bar to your room, you didn't care to figure out. Because, as you hurriedly opened the door to your shared room with Hyunjin all over you, it became clear that somehow, you had found your way to the only room you knew for sure had a bed in it. And that could be of great use right now.

"Your hair - it looks - good. I just - I just thought you should - know."

The broken words escaping your lips were cut off whenever Hyunjin's hands changed the way he held you, the way he moved you. With every step you took, him guiding you through the darkness of the moment, you got closer to the bed until you felt your knees hit the mattress. The second they started buckling, Hyunjin's hands were at your back, stopping you from hitting the surface too hard.

That Hyunjin didn't react to your unexpected compliment remained unnoticed as his lips travelled down to your chest. As he laid on top of you, your legs hugged around him, your heels pressing into his back.

Soon enough, Hyunjin's hands found the bottom of your dress as he slowly started dragging it up your legs. The moment his fingers touched the hem of your panties, you felt him smile against your burning skin.

"Just like I thought. I bet you don't even own a pair of underwear that has enough fabric to cover everything."

"I don't, actually," you agreed as you looked him into the eyes while he was slowly dragging them down your legs. "But who needs those when you barely wear underwear at all?"

The daring look that appeared on his face after your revelation made your heart flutter. Somehow, he brought out a more raunchy side of you and you loved that other part of yourself.

As Hyunjin's lips met yours in a hungry battle of teeth and tongue, your hands found their way down to his pants, and more importantly his belt. It took you a few seconds to get it loose and when you did, the material fell from his slim thighs faster than you could have hoped for.

"Warm-up or no?"

The question of whether or not Hyunjin should prepare you for himself with his fingers and mouth had never been asked this directly in all your experience. Still, you deemed the term to be perfect for the moment as it cleared up everything quickly.

"I think the elevator thing did the trick," you told him honestly, referring to him grinding into you throughout the whole ride up to your floor. There was simply no need for him to prep you anymore, seeing as you were already so wet for him.

"Next time then."

With that promise of a next time, Hyunjin rid himself of his briefs before lining himself up with your entrance. That the two of you were still fully clothed from the waist upwards seemed to not make a difference in where this was headed. And, frankly, you couldn't be bothered with undressing further as it could have taken way too much time.

Before you could tell him to speed up and get to it, Hyunjin had already pushed himself into you, gliding in as smoothly as ever as your walls wrapped around his length. A soft moan left your lips at the feeling of him instantly filling you up.

The delicious sounds filling the room as Hyunjin kept on moving inside you were a feast for the ears. You couldn't remember ever hearing a sound so satisfying as the one coursing through these four walls at that exact moment. Your breathing got more and more unsteady with each movement, adding to the beautiful moaning from the man on top of you.

Hearing and seeing Hyunjin lose himself inside you, in your moaning and moving below him, made you feel proud. It made you want to capture this moment so that you could come back to it in the future. And it made you want to do to him what he was doing to you.

So, as soon as you had gotten used to him inside you, you started meeting his thrusts in the middle, circling your hip as often and naturally as you could. When you noticed Hyunjin throwing his head back at that motion, a smile spread on your lips as you increased the speed at which you were going.

As you were watching Hyunjin, the darkness from the lack of lighting making it so much harder to make out any colours and shapes, you believed it to be the prettiest sight there was to see. A few strands of his beautiful hair had gotten stuck on his sweaty forehead, his eyes glimmering so much more intense at this very moment.

Knowing just how divine Hyunjin looked on top of you, trying his hardest to keep control over his body, you regretted not having done this earlier. Surely, there must have been a moment during the past few months that could have led to this exact situation. That you hadn't realised this before was unfortunate.

"You feel so good." The silent praise almost got lost in the other sounds coming from in between his plumb lips, though it made you smile once it had gotten to your brain.

"Ditto," you answered as the words almost got stuck in your throat.

"Do that again, please." Hyunjin's demand sounded more like a plead as he had apparently loved one of your previous motions.

"You mean this?" you questioned as you rolled your hips the same way again. He couldn't verbally reply, seeing as he was overwhelmed by the movement, so he simply nodded as you noticed him swallow hard.

Without another word from the man, you repeated the same action over and over again, loving the reaction you got from him. So hopeless, almost fully giving himself to you, letting you take over.

"God-" As Hyunjin choked on his own words, you could tell that something you were doing, most likely the movement of your hips, wasn't doing him any favours. "I'm- I'm so close."

"Me too," you agreed as he captured your eyes in his.

One of Hyunjin's hands, you couldn't tell which one, he moved from holding himself up at your side to in between your legs, finding your nub after a second or two. When he started circling it over and over again, going at a pace too rapid to fully focus on, you threw your head back against the soft sheets of the mattress, simply letting yourself relax at his skilled fingers.

_______________

"Thank you. God, this was-"

"Incredible?" Hyunjin continued your unfinished definition as you just couldn't think straight for a second to do it yourself. A satisfied smile was playing on his face as he turned to look at you, laying breathlessly beside him.

"Yeah."

"It was, wasn't it?"

For a few seconds, you simply tried catching your breath as you were still coming down from one of the most vivid highs of your life. It took you a while to fully comprehend what had just happened, and you still couldn't tell how it had gotten to this point. Thought, you were glad that it did, because, honestly, there was no way you could ever regret this.

"What are you doing?"

As you watched Hyunjin get up from the bed, making his way over to his suitcase, confusion was written on your face. And it surely didn't help your confusion when he took his laptop out from his case after having put on a pair of low-hanging sweatpants. Soon enough, his shirt had landed in the pile as he made his way back to the bed, making himself comfortable on the empty side of it.

"We still have to go over a few things before the meeting tomorrow. We might as well get to it before the exhaustion takes over," Hyunjin simply explained himself as you laid next to him, still a little preoccupied with the previous, world-shattering orgasm.

"Is this your version of aftercare?" you questioned, half-jokingly. "Because, if so, you should work on that."

As you got up from the bed to rid yourself of your uncomfortable clothing, Hyunjin's eyes never left you. And for some reason, you didn't care anymore whether he saw you naked.

"You can sit on my lap until we're done working," Hyunjin teased, patting the space on his thighs. After what had just happened, this was probably not the most unfitting idea. Maybe, you'd get to that after preparing for tomorrow's day.

"I hardly think you'd get anything done. You're obviously in love with me," you said with a taunting wink as you let yourself fall onto the mattress beside him, now clothed in a t-shirt and a fresh pair of panties. "Let's just get this over with and then we can see what else there is to do."

As Hyunjin took the laptop back into his lap, a simple nod gave you the answer you had been looking for.

"Work before cuddling? That's my kind of woman."

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

The One Where Jensen Ackles Confirmed Cockles in 2016(????) No. Seriously. For real.

this is a DOOZY. strap in folks.

DISCLAIMER: this is chock full of rps. if you are against cockles/jenmish in any way, this post is not for you. however, if you’re like me, ummmmm...

alright. so. we are REALLY in it now, cockles truthers. and make no mistake, i DO NOT want to undersell the significance of what we have found on this glorious day in 2021.

BUT HEY! DISCLAIMER FIRST, THOUGH IT SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING! do not EVER bring this to jensen and misha’s attention. do not comment disrespectful things on social media. when cons/panels start again, don’t ask them questions about it. ever!!! that’s super weird, for one thing, and for two, they won’t give you the answer you want anyway! so, yeah. just be decent, y’all. let’s continue. 

so my dear mutual @green-blue-heller made this post today and i promptly lost my mind. in it, they link this video:

as far as i can tell, it’s from VegasCon 2016 but was only unprivated on january 24, 2020(dean winchester’s birthday??? wow ok) for some reason, and we have overlooked it until now. to whoever it was that posted it, THANK you for my reason for being and this delayed gratification five years later. anyway, let’s get into it.

right off the bat, those expressions in the thumbnail kind of tell you all you need to know about what we’re venturing into. i have to thank BOTH jensen AND j*red for being ridiculously transparent. i mean...j*red purposefully avoiding eye contact with jensen and looking at the ceiling with his eyebrows raised sky high? jensen hiding his face in his hands, smiling and blushing like a fool, the misha face™ & grin???

so let’s break down what happens with timestamps and everything.

so! i looked up what the question was, i scoured through the entire Vegas Con video, and here it is:

‘My question is for Jensen and Jared. You guys are both happily married, and I noticed that many people had a hard time explaining how they know their significant other is the one. The one they want to spend the rest of their life with, the one that they want to be with, and so, I wanted to ask you guys, how did you know that your current- who you’re with now(audience laughter cuts the rest of the question off and it’s unintelligible)’ ….i’m solidly guessing that the end of that question boils down to ‘was the one’. (....i...uhhhh....have some thoughts on how this question affected jensen, and i will be going into them later.)

Jared: *laughs* Jared, Jensen. When did you first meet your future ex-wives?

*both of them laugh*

Jared: I’m just kidding-I get what you’re trying to say and thank you, um...I, uh, I guess my current wife, uh-

*both laugh again*

Jensen: (sarcastically) Let’s start with her.

Jared: (repeats) Let’s start with her. I, uh, I...you said something kinda, uh, amazing in your question, which is that a lot of people have a tough time or a difficult time explaining to their significant others or to themselves what it is. And I guess I feel that I have no way to possibly explain it to myself or to her... I remember that I had been in a relationship and that I was single and I was like ‘I am not interested in getting in a relationship’ and then she and I went on a date and I was like, ‘I can’t go anywhere else. I’m not interested.’ So, that was kinda what, um, what started it for me *clears throat loudly* Uh. Yeah, I just feel like (searching for words) she makes me a better person-there are a lot of people that make you a better person, and so that’s not enough, I don’t think-or maybe it is, who knows-um...I don’t know, I can’t really...if I could explain, I’d be a poet.

here’s where things start to get interesting. before jared says ‘If I could explain, I’d be a poet,’ Jensen’s face looks like this:

stoic, thoughtful, composed. and then AFTER jared says that his face makes THIS little journey:

go watch it for yourself. this man is ridiculous. in terms of body language? he gazes up and AWAY from jared. it is a private thought, he is not sharing in jared’s joke with him, if at all. it is his own personal musings that make his face LIGHT up like that. this fool looks lovestruck!!! this fool is lovestruck!!!

now, i think it goes without saying, but there is an obvious cockles reason that springs to mind for this reaction. (hint: misha is a poet. that’s it, that’s the reason.) i don’t think jared intentionally said this with misha in mind, but jensen’s thoughts IMMEDIATELY went there. whether or not this is because he was already planning on answering and hinting at his relationship with misha before jared says this, which i think he was-you can certainly see the wheels turning in jensen’s head before this moment-his brain involuntarily makes the connection and it shows in his glowing smile. after that remark...jensen’s gone. he’s whipped. and he HAS to say something about it. 

continuing from where we left off:

Jared: ...and I would love to be a poet. (thought it would be fun to mention that at this point Jensen catches what his face did and immediately looks over to Jared and WIPES the expression of his face...but it’s too late, because someone recorded it, i saw it, and now i’m writing about it five years later)

Jared: But uhh…

Jensen: (interrupting) Just tap me when you want me to take over. 

i think that jensen is simultaneously joking and is also more than ready to say what he’s been composing in his head diligently for the last thirty or so seconds. he has made up his mind, and is now ready to drop the bomb on us.

*audience laughs, Jared playfully swats at him*

Jared: Uh… *thinks in silence for a bit* It’s really difficult, it’s really difficult. She makes me feel safe, she makes me feel loved. Uh...when...I’m in a position where I don’t love myself, I know she loves me, you know, um...she’s just an awesome, awesome lady.

*audience claps*

alright! so in terms of my OWN analysis for what’s happened up until this point, the conclusion i have come to is that there was something in the question that was asked that sets jensen’s mind off about misha, and i think it was the ‘the one’ comment. if we’re putting our cockles goggles on, jensen doesn’t HAVE a ‘the one’. he resents thinking like that. i’m also very intuitive, and i get a sense that jensen is an honest person and can’t really tell a convincing lie. i mean...we all saw that horrible airbnb debacle, right? and his slip up when he accidentally confirms that misha woke up and said ‘i miss (maison)’[which how would you know that unless you were...nvm] and became a stammering mess and had to sit down and cover his face. and that misha is always the one to take the lead when it comes to denying clothes sharing, for instance. jensen has never ONCE attempted to explain that away, because i don’t think anyone would believe him, and i think he’s incapable of doing so because he’s not a dishonest person and can’t lie easily. i’m the same way, so to avoid telling a lie i always speak partial truths, and i’m 99% sure jensen is well versed in this talent as well. oh, also, just to really land my point....we all know how he feels about the finale because he can’t make himself speak well on it. he’ll gush about 15x18 and the PEOPLE BEHIND the finale, but he has not uttered one. positive. word. about the actual finale itself. i mean, we all know what he thinks about it. in his own way, he has made his rage glaringly obvious. and i think he’s doing that exact thing here, where he resents the implication that daneel is the only ‘one’ for him, because that’s simply not true, and he can’t and won’t lie about something like that. 

i watched it back again and wrote notes on jensen’s body language as he’s processing the question. here they are:

from 0:13 to 1:21, jensen: 

looks down - tenses face - searching eyes, lost in thought - jared’s comment brings him out of it but it takes a second - fidgets, adjusts clothes, looks at jared - bites the inside of his cheeks and moves tongue around his mouth(pacifying gesture) - eyes start wandering away from jared, looks down and tenses face, looks back at jared - then looks away, eyes and mind far from the panel and pondering the question itself - somewhat wistful expression, gears clearly turning in his head, lips pursed, stops reacting to what jared is saying, fingers start fidgeting, eyes have moved downward as he is lost in thought - something shifts in his brain, he looks to the ceiling, fidgets and adjusts his clothing, squints and seems to resolve an inner thought - slightly comes back down to earth with newfound resolution - and then jared’s ‘i would be a poet’ comment happens while he’s coming down from that

i mean, this obviously doesn’t necessarily mean anything huge(yet), all it shows is that this question took a lot of thinking for him. when you compare it to how jared kind of just dove in? 

anyway; so then jared’s done, he slaps jensen’s thigh to indicate it’s his turn, jensen makes THAT face you see in the thumbnail, jared’s eyebrows raise, jensen looks down and scratches his forehead, and then makes the statement of a lifetime. 

here’s the link for this next part

Jensen: Ummm..I kind of feel like there’s two types of people ..uh..in regards to marriage and the, the one. Uh, it’s the ones that just, just know with an absolute and, and have a certainty of like, this is the one for me, unequivocally. And then there’s those who are, you know, I don’t know, I’m scared, but I’m willing to take that leap of faith with you. And, I kind of find myself in between both of those(...types of people). And uh, and so, it can be a scary endeavour, and it can, and it will certainly have it’s ups and downs, um, but I think it’s a, uh, it’s a bond, and it’s a connection, and it’s a friendship, and it’s a ride, and it’s a journey that, uh, if you’re willing to stick it out with one another, can be an amazing, beautiful thing and I’m glad that I picked the partner and the teammate that I have, so.

i’ll give you like a second to recuperate before we dig in. 

let’s start with both jared and jensen’s body language first, because it wasn’t even the words that clued me in, it was whatever the hell was going on with jared’s face. 

i really wish i could gif, but i can only attempt to convey the SPEED and VIGOUR with which jared snaps his head toward jensen. 

these pictures are objectively hilarious because you can see the entire mental journey that jared goes on. he was aloof and kind of relaxed because he was done, it’s jensen’s turn now, he’s surely not gonna out himself with this question right? and then jensen goes ahead and says ‘there are two-’ and jared instantly zones right into jensen with a look of horror on his face, that he tries to contain, but does so unsuccessfully. that is the face of a man who is internally freaking out, thought to himself ‘did he seriously just say...’ and is kind of staring at the culprit in shock and awe.

i know that’s what’s happening, because this is not the first time we’ve seen him react like this to something jensen has said. the classic head whip. a few examples, just off the top of my head:

1. ‘he has, hasn’t he?’ 

2. ‘he sounds like that in the morning’ ‘how do you know’ 

3. when he whips his head around when he notices jensen’s face(and instantly understands when he realizes it’s misha)

so yeah, i’m sure you get it by now. jared can’t really keep it off of his face. there’s no real analyzing to be done here...it’s just an obvious tell on his part. there’s no real reason for him to have reacted this way if jensen was saying something inconspicuous, is there? he would have continued to just kind of space out if jensen hadn’t just said something jarringly questionable. 

as for jensen’s body language, i can’t really tell where he’s looking from either angle of both videos i’ve seen. sometimes it seems like he’s looking straight at jared, and maybe nods at him once, but he could also(and is most likely) looking at the fan who asked the question. i don’t think there’s anything particularly telling about his body language because i think he rehearsed his answer in his head and also, he’s not shying away because he’s not lying about anything. like...everything he’s saying is true, so he’s not going to have any tells. and it’s the fact that he is TELLING THE TRUTH that is freaking jared out.

now for what he actually says. because oh my god. 

right off the bat, he says “i kind of feel like there’s two types of people..” and first off, what? what does that even mean? if you think of it in terms of ‘this is about daneel and only daneel’....isn’t this a realllyyyyy strange thing to start out with? objectively? the question that was asked to him was ‘how did you know they were the one?’ and he goes ‘actually there’s TWO types of people’ ...like, jensen never answers the question at hand. 

and then he goes “in regards to marriage and the one”. i hope i’m not the only one who noticed he said the words ‘the one’ in a resentful and kind of degrading tone? seriously, listen to it again. he seems like he’s almost mocking that sentiment. i swear i’m not making it up, it really sounds like that to me. 

and then he says “-it’s the ones that just, just know with an absolute and, and have a certainty of like, this is the one for me, unequivocally. And then there’s those who are, you know, I don’t know, I’m scared, but I’m willing to take that leap of faith with you.” *NON TINHAT VERSION OF EVENTS* what he could mean, i guess, is he was both scared to be with daneel but also knew she was the one for him. which....ok. alright. *TINHAT BACK ON* first off, there’s absolutely no risk with daneel. that’s not a judgement, because i love her; it’s just true. she’s a pretty, talented, amazing woman and they are very much in love. i’m not sure what risks he’s taking there. next up: pretty strange wording then, don’t you think? idk, if it were you, and you wanted to get that point across, wouldn’t you use words like ‘she both scared me and i knew i wanted to be with her at the same time’ and NOT this convoluted mess of ‘there’s two types of people and they are both drastically different but also one and the same’? 

SECOND OF ALL, as many people have pointed out.....he never uses pronouns. this is strange. jared does. jared says gen’s name, even. and uses ‘she’ and ‘her’. jensen never once does that, he practically refuses to do so. and yes, i fully believe it is entirely intentional.

because if you look at this phrase from a cockles lens it makes more sense then if you do not. 

the one that jensen knows, unequivocally, with the utmost certainty, is the one for him, no doubts, no risks; is daneel. the one that he doesn’t know about, is scared of being with, but is willing to take that leap of faith anyway; is misha. and all of a sudden the puzzle pieces fall into place.

because he goes on to say “I kind of find myself in between both of those.” 

he doesn’t say ‘i find myself in between both of those...with her.’ nope. he’s just...in between. caught in the middle. of those two types of people. translation: of those two people. mish. dee. 

“And it can be a scary endeavour, and it will certainly have it’s ups and downs, but I think it’s a bond, and it’s a connection, and it’s a friendship, and it’s a ride, and it’s a journey...” 

every single one of those words can be applied to more than one person. think about it. bond(between three people). connection(between three people). friendship(between three people!!!). there’s no ‘partnership’ in here, which does only apply to two people. 

lastly, “i’m glad i picked the partner and the teammate that i have.”

ok, look. you can easily say that it’s just one person he’s talking about here! of course you can. but this is jensen ackles we’re talking about. jensen ‘rock and pebble’ ackles. jensen ‘mish. dee.’ ackles. so yes. i definitely think that ‘the partner and the teammate’ fall into this category. and i think daneel is the partner and misha is the teammate. 

to put it matter-of-factly: you simply cannot prove that this isn’t about a poly relationship. there is absolutely nothing he says that makes it obvious he is talking about one person here. because he isn’t. 

i just feel like, in the simplest terms, if this were about only daneel, that he would not be using these weird phrases that are half-hidden truths. just to compare, i watched another panel where pretty much the exact same question was asked, minus the whole ‘the one’ debacle, and, just as i suspected, it was an entirely different answer. he talks about the moment where he knew he liked her. her, specifically. says the name daneel. gushes about her. there’s no tiptoeing and weird pronoun usage and vague terminology. 

tl; dr : i think he answered the question this way because there is no ‘the one’ in his life. and he is physically incapable of leaving misha out when talking about ‘the one’ because he has TWO ‘the ones’. and he wants to answer the question to the best of his best ability, but lying is unnatural to him. he will talk about daneel at length and misha at length, but i honestly to my core don’t think you could make him choose between the two. oh! and we literally had confirmation all the way back in fucking 2016, we just never paid attention until now. so......thanks, jensen?

sorry, this got super long, but i hope i warned you well enough. 

[thedeadhandofseldon]

The Anti-Mercer Effect

On the Accessibility of D&D, Why Unprepared Casters is so Fun, and Why Haley Whipjack is possibly the greatest DM of our generation.

(Apologies to my mutuals who aren’t in this fandom for the length of this, but as you all know I have never in my life shut up about anything so… we’ll call it even for the number of posts about Destiel I see every day.

To fellow UC fans - I haven’t listened to arc 4 yet, I started drafting this in early August, and I promise I will write a nice post about how great Gus the Bard is once I get the chance to listen to more of his DMing).

Structure - Or, “This is not the finale, there will be more podding cast”

So, first of all, let’s just talk about how Unprepared Casters works. Because it’s kind of unusual! Most of the other big-name D&D podcasts favor this long, grand arcs; UC has about 10 hours of podcast per each arc. And that’s a major strength in a lot of ways: it makes it really accessible to new listeners, because you can just start with the current arc and understand what’s going on!

And by starting new arcs every six or seven episodes, they can explore lots of ways to play D&D! Classic dungeon delve arc! Heist arc! Epic heroes save the world arc! Sportsball arc! They can touch on all sorts of things!

And while I’m talking about that: Dragons in Dungeons, the first arc, makes it incredibly accessible as a show - because it lets the unfamiliar listener get a sense of what D&D actually is. (It’s about telling stories and making your friends feel heroic and laugh and cry, for the record). If I had to pick a way to introduce someone to the game without actually playing it with them, that arc would definitely be it.

And I’d be remise not to note one very important thing: Haley Whipjack and Gus the Bard are just very funny, very charismatic people. Look. Episode 0s tend to be about 50%(?) those two just talking to each other about their own podcast. It shouldn’t work. And yet it DOES, its one of my favorite parts, because Haley and Gus are just cool.

And a side note that doesn’t fit anywhere else: I throw my soul at him! I throw a scone at him - that’s it, that’s the vibe. The whole podcast alternates between laughing with your friends and brooding alone in a dark tavern corner - but the laughs never forced and the dark corner is never too dark for too long.

Whipjack the Great - Or, the DM is Also a Player!

I think Haley Whipjack is one of the greatest Dungeon Masters alive. The plots and characters! The mechanical shenanigans! The descriptions!

Actually, let’s start there: with the descriptions. (Both Haley and Gus do this really fucking well). As we know, Episode 0 of each arc sees the DM reading a description - of a small town, or the Up North, or the recent history of a great party. And Haley always strikes this tricky balance - one I think a lot of us who DM struggle with - between giving too much description and  worldbuilding, and not telling us anything at all. She describes people and events in just enough detail to imagine them, but never so much they seem static and unreal - just clear enough to envision, but with enough vagueness left to let your imagination begin to run wild.

While I’m thinking about arc 3’s party, let’s talk about a really bold move she made in that arc: letting the players have ongoing control of their history. Loser Lars! She didn’t try to spell out every detail of this high-level party’s history, or restrict their past to only what she decided to allow - she gave them the broad outlines, and let them embellish it. And that made for a much more alive story than any attempt to create it by herself would have - but I think it takes a lot of courage to let your players have that agency. Most Dungeon Masters (myself included) tend to struggle with being control freaks.

And the plots! Yeah, arc one is built of classic tropes - but she actually uses them, she doesn’t get caught up in subverting everything or laughing at the cliches. And it’s fun! In arc 3, there really isn’t a straight line for the players to follow, either - which makes the game much more interesting and much trickier to run. And her NPCs are fantastic and I will talk about them in the next section.

Above all, though, I think what is really impressive is how Haley balances mechanics, and rules as written, with the narrative and rule of cool - and puts both rules and story in the service of playing a fun game. And the secret to that? She’s the DM, but the DM is a player, and the DM is clearly having fun. Hope Lovejoy mechanically shouldn’t get that spellslot back, but she does, and it’s fun. The changeling merchant in Thymore doesn’t really make some Grand Artistic Narrative better, but wow is it fun. And she never tries to force it one way or the other - the story might be more dramatic if Annie didn’t manage to banish the demon from the vault, but it’s a lot cooler and a lot more fun for the players if Annie gets to be a badass instead - and the rules and the dice say that Annie managed it.

Settings feel like places, NPCs feel like people, and the narrative plot feels like a real villainous plot.

Anyway. I could go on about the various ways in which Whipjack is awesome for quite a while - she’s right, first place in D&D is when your friends laugh and super first place is when they cry - but I’m going to stop here and just. Make another post about it some other time. For now, for the record I hold her opinions about the game in higher esteem than I do several official sourcebooks; that is all.

Characters - Or, Bombyx Mori Is Not an Asshole, And That Matters

Okay, I said I would talk about characters! And I will!

Just a general place to start: the party! All of the first three parties are interesting to me, because they all care about each other. Not even necessarily in a Found Family Trope sort of way, though often that too. But they generally aren’t assholes to each other. The players create characters that actually work together, that are interesting; even when there’s internal divisions like SK-73 v. Sir Mr. Person, they aren’t just unpleasant and antagonistic all the time. Listening to the podcast, we’re “with” these people for a couple hours - and it isn’t unpleasant. That matters a lot. (To take a counter-example: I love Critical Role, but the episode when Vox Machina pranked Scanlan after he died and was resurrected wasn’t fun to listen to, it was just uncomfortable and angering and vaguely cruel).

All of the PCs are amazing, and the players in each arc did a great job. If you disagree with me about that, well, you have the right to be incorrect and I am sorry for your loss. Annie Wintersummer, for one example: tragic and sad and I want to give her a hug, but also Fuck Yeah Wintersummer, and also her familiar Charles the Owl is the cutest and funniest and I love him. And we understand what’s going on with Annie, she isn’t some infinite pool of hidden depths because this arc is 7 episodes and we don’t have time for that, but she also has enough complexity to be interesting. Same with Fey Moss: yeah, a lot of her is a silly pun about fame that carries into how she behaves, but a lot of how she behaves is also down to some good classic half-elven angst about parenthood and wanting to be known and seen and important. (Side note: if your half-elf character doesn’t have angst, well, that’s impressive and also I don’t think I believe you).

There are multiple lesbian cat-people in a 4-person party and they both have requited romantic interests who aren’t each other. This is the future liberals want and I am glad for it.

Sir Mister Person, the human fighter! Thavius, the edge lord! Even when a character is “simple,” they’re interesting, because of how they’re played as people and not action-figures. And that matters a lot.

In the same way: the NPCs. There really aren’t a lot of them! And some of them come from Patreon submissions, so uh good work gang, you’re part of the awesomeness and I’m proud of you! The point being, the NPCs work because enough of them are interesting to matter. It’s not just a servant who opens Count Michael’s door, it’s a character with a name (Oleandra!) and a personality and history. They’re interesting. Penny Lovejoy didn’t need to be interesting, the merchant outside the Laughing Mausoleum didn’t need to be interesting, but they ARE! And Haley and Gus EXCEL at making the NPCs matter, not just to the story but to us as viewers. I agree with Sir Mister Person, actually, I would die for the princesses of the kingdom. I actually care about Gem Lovejoy of all people - that wouldn’t happen in an ordinary campaign! That’s the thing that makes Unprepared Casters spectacular - and, frankly, it’s especially impressive because D&D does not tend to be good at making a lot of interesting compared to a lot of other sorts of stories.

And, just as an exemplar of all this: Bombyx Mori. Immortal, reincarnating(?), and described as the incarnation of the player’s ADHD. I expected to hate Bombyx, because as the mom friend both in and out of my friend-group’s campaigns, the chaos-causer is always exhausting to me. And yeah, Bombyx causes problems on purpose! But! She is not an asshole.

And that’s important. Bombyx goes and sits with the queen and comforts her. Bombyx gives Annie emotional support. Bombyx isn’t just a vehicle to jerk around the DM and other players; Bombyx really is a character we can care about. To compare with another case - in the first couple episodes of The Adventure Zone, the PCs are just dicks. Funny, but dicks. Bombyx holds out an arm “covered in larva” to shake with a count, and robs him of magical items, but she also cares about her friends and other people! She uses a powerful magical gem to save her fertilizer guy from death! Yeah, Bombyx is ridiculous, but she’s not just an asshole the party has to keep around for plot reasons; you can see why her party would keep her around. And one layer of meta up, she’s the perfect example of how to make a chaotic character like that while still being fun for everyone you’re playing with, which is often not the case. And I love her.

The Anti-Mercer Effect - Or, “I think we proved it can be fun, you can have a good time with your friends. And it doesn’t have to be scary, you can just work with what you know”

The Mercer Effect basically constitutes this: Matthew Mercer, Dungeon Master of Critical Role, is incredible (as are all of his players). They’re all professional story-tellers in a way, remember, and so Critical Role treats D&D like a narrative art-form, and it’s inspiring. Seeing that on Critical Role sets impossible standards - and people go into their own home games imagining that their campaigns will be like Critical Role, and the burden of that expectation tends to fall disproportionately on the DM. And the end result, I think, of the Mercer Effect is that we get discouraged or intimidated, because our game isn’t “as good as” theirs. (And I should note - Matt certainly doesn’t want that to be our reaction).

So the Anti-Mercer Effect is two things: it’s D&D treated like a game, and it’s inspiring but not intimidating. And Unprepared Casters manages both of those really freaking well. Because they play it like a game! A UC arc looks just like a good campaign in anyone’s home game. They have the vibes of 20-somethings and college students playing D&D for fun because that’s who they are (as a 20-something college student who plays a lot of D&D, watching it felt like watching my friends play an especially good campaign). They’re trying to tell a good story, sure, and they always do. But first and foremost, they’re trying to have fun, and it shows, and I love the UC cast for it.

And that’s the other half of it: it’s inspiring! It’s approachable; you can see that Haley and Gus put plenty of work into preparing the game but it also doesn’t make you feel like you need hundreds of pages of worldbuilding to run a game. Sometimes a cleric makes Haley cry and she gives them back a spell-slot from their deity! That’s fantastic! It’s just inspiring - listening to this over the summer, when my last campaign had fallen apart under the strain of graduation, is why I decided to plan and run my new one!

That quote from Haley Whipjack that I used as the title for this section? That’s the whole core of this idea, and really, I think, the core of the podcast.

The Mercer Effect is when you go “that’s really cool, I could never do that.” But Unprepared Casters makes you look at D&D and go “wow, that looks really fun. I bet I can do that!” And I love the show for it.

And I bet a lot of you do too.

[woozi]

Um this might be annoying but your descriptions on that mutuals as svt members was so wholesome! So I thought if you could name your mutuals and say what you like abt them? Your favorite thing about them kinda? Idk I thought it was cute but you don't have to do it if you don't want to ! 💚💚💚

i went through my following list and i think these are all of my carat mutuals/friends <3 i only included those who i'm mutuals with here on this blog, but with that in mind i hope i included the right people/and all of you! if not, i may have gotten confused with your main and sideblogs. :/ i divided this into 4 sections (because that's how i think of them in my head, lol). so, without further ado, here they are in the order of my following list (from the most recent):

caratblr

@leechaerok (mirelle) - mi!! i love how you are always striving to be positive and that this is something you share and extend to other people! you literally remind me of sunshine and i hope that only good things are coming ur way. ily!!

@ohoshi (cora) - cora my naughty (IN A PLAYFUL WAY) friend <3 cora's really fun to talk to and she keeps you on your toes. idk why i didn't follow her earlier (i didnt know i wasn't following her jsdjkdsjsdk). extremely talented!! also love the upbeat vibe.

@soonyoungs (cara) - same with cora, i've been seeing cara around but never got to interact with her until recently! i love how versatile cara is and how she always always always appreciates even the little things. 10/10 would let her visit my home again <3

@wrongnanab (aya) - i get mom/older sister friend vibes from aya and i think it suits her a lot. she’s also not afraid of reaching out and i love that sm about her!! i relate to her a lot and i love how she’s always there.

@junhaoshua (e) - something interesting always comes up every time i speak to e! i also love her initiative and how well she manages her time. she’s really passionate about the things she likes and i love how she can get people to be interested in them too!

@choibeomgyus (kale) - kale has excellent taste! i love her aes so much. <3 her work is particularly right up my alley and i just love how clean looking they are. kale’s also such a sweet friend, and she’s not shy about showing affection. i love her sm!!

@dokyom (izy) - izy’s one of the first carats i first followed when i got into caratblr and i’m so glad to have made that decision! her work always wows me and although we haven’t talked much, she’s one of the people i always look out for in here.

@seohoshi (nele) - nele, my mutual at heart. <3 the way we became mutuals is so funny and memorable to me, and i can’t say that about most people! i really like the way nele presents herself as well. she can have fun while still being collected, which i find really interesting. i think she’s someone who brings stability, but i can’t really explain why i get that from her. <3

@art-hao (carrie) - goddess on earth. so elegant. a literal virgo. i love how carrie doesn’t want to be too invested in one single thing. that being said, she’s multitalented, yet is skilled in each of the fields she’s venturing in. she also speaks what’s on her mind, and i admire that a lot. what can’t this woman do :/  

@svtreasure (kate) - kate is one of the first people i got to talk to here on caratblr! and although she’s not on here that much, i always look forward to seeing her. i feel like i have to protect her like a younger sibling <3

@uriboogyu (lee) - lee definitely has feisty younger sibling vibes which i think is so cute! like carrie and e, she’s not afraid of saying what’s on her mind. lee is also such a go-getter! the future is very bright for this one <3

@smallkore (kore) - i remember first talking to kore after she tagged all 3 of my active blogs in one post, and i thought it was kind of funny <3 kore is super talented and entertaining! i also think she’s super interesting, and i love her strange picture collection. <3

@rq-s (katrina) - katrina is also one of the first few people who i interacted with here on caratblr! she is so supportive and always has a nice word for everyone. even though she isn’t here much, i always like seeing her around <3

@boosbin (isa) - iconic. legend. will kick your ass. my beloved <3 isa is SUPER talented and she never fails to amaze me. she’s also very relatable and is super fun to talk to! idk i’m just really fond of isa lol

@dk-s (zay) - i love zay’s sense of style and her overall aesthetic! she also is really smart and gets really invested in her interests. i love her dedication and initiative!

@scoupsy (dreamy) - dreamy and i haven’t really talked much aside from interactions here and there, but she’s someone i really admire. i love how she doesn’t take anyone’s shit and knows what she wants. she’s really skilled in her areas of interest and takes pride in her excellent work. love that about her!! 

@julyprince (madison) - i was really shocked when madison followed me back because i love her work so much! i love how she is so consistent and dedicated (honestly, the constant 9 sets say it all <3). she’s intimidating at first, but she is actually so nice and likes reaching out!

@xuseokgyu (belle) - one of my treasured moots. belle is literally the seok to my soon. <3 she doesn’t know it, but i was kind of shy during my earlier days in caratblr, and she encouraged me to be myself just because she was always reaching out to me. i see belle as someone who really nurtures and is just a reliable older sister for me!

@haniehae (anna) - also one of my favorites <3 anna doesn’t really need too much words but u can always feel the love from her by her little tags here and there. she’s also super supportive and very appreciative of the little things! anna is such a cute person to have around. i lalso love how much work she puts into caratblr. also an amazing dancer oh my god???????

@jaemtens (kevin) - like dreamy, kevin and i haven’t really talked much, but i always love seeing him on the dash! one of the people i admire. it absolutely blows my mind how he has a phd (about to have one? :D) and that he’s still somehow able to make gifs (BEAUTIFULLY!) consistently. love that dedication, wish that were me!!

@tearsofsyrup (vi) - vi thinking of me and tagging me on cute stuff really just makes me feel so :’>. i love how easygoing vi is and i just feel light whenever we interact!!

@soonhoonsol (chey) - everyone’s bestie!! chey literally is the go-to person on caratblr. idk how she manages to do it but she’s always so nice to everyone and really does go out of her way to make everyone feel comfortable! chey has a special place in my heart, and my stay in caratblr wouldn’t be the same without her. <3

@iiasha (emily) - you all don’t understand how much i LOVE emily. i can’t even explain why i love her i just do. she’s also one of the first people i followed when i came on caratblr and i’m so glad to have met her here on our own personal hellsite. emily’s the perfect balance of smart, cool, and funny (this sentence sounds lame as fuck but idk how else to put it)! i appreciate how much she likes her job and that’s something i hope to also imitate! i’ve said it before but i also really love how generous she is. emily also made my stay here on caratblr very enjoyable and i always love reading her text posts <3 i think tumblr junation would nearly die without her so go thank her rn. (she also spotted me turning full dinonara without me even noticing that i am one so. <3 /mwah/)

@coupsnim (izzie) - izzie gives me calm artsy vibes.  her work is always stunning omg. queen of red lips (and i think it’s so fitting bc it suits cheol the best imo???). ALSO love how much she loves cheol!! izzie’s just a sweetheart. <3 would also support ur 0 note posts, lol.

@kyeomshine (lyns) - lyns coloring queen <3 i looove how clean and cohesive her work always is! she’s also one of the people who encouraged me to stay here on caratblr (although she doesn’t know it!!). and though we don’t see lyns as much nowadays, i still think of her as the resident dk fan <3 one of the memorable people for me.

@heartgyus (rhys) - my sister (dISGUSTANG!!). my enemy. THE mutual to have homoerotic subtext with. rhys is actually my closest friend on caratblr. she’s multitalented, almost all-knowing, and has prettie vibes. i’m not elaborating anymore from here on out because i just know she’s gonna be a little devil about it on the dms. 🙄

@hanwooz (kellie & christine) - one of my absolute favorite blogs! i think of them as one of the constants of caratblr. i absolutely love their posts sm and just enjoy when they’re around!! (and how do ur gifs always look good omg tell me ur secrets pls <3)

@7ww​ (yasmin) - one of my favorite (if not my favorite) gfx maker!! i love how you can immediately tell something is from her because of their trademark look. we haven’t talked yet, but she’s one of my favorite carats!

@mngys​ (sofi) - coolest person in the world. idk why we’re even mutuals i don’t deserve this <3 sofi always has the coolest ideas and i look up to her sm!! i’ve also seen her from the birdie community before i got into caratblr so i’ve been following her for quite some time now, but we became mutuals here!

aes carats

@vixenjun​ (kaya) - another one of my beloveds <3 i always say kaya is funnie and sexie but she really is, and those are always the first words i think of when i’m reminded of her. one of my absolute favorites. a bestie that's close to my heart. <3

@tiddie​ (deniz) - i don’t see deniz posting much about svt anymore, but deniz is one of my first carat moots (i followed aes carats first). this one really witnessed my jeonghan downfall. :/ so funny. is a great friend!!

@bwaldorf (ramasha) - A SWEETHEART!! ramasha and i don’t talk much anymore but when i think of her i only am reminded of good things. i rmb how much she supported my weird posts back then <3 also iconic aes hello???? 

@vernons (oona) - oona and i are literally just vibing here <3 i actually met her from the aes side of tumblr before i got into caratblr (like deniz) and discovered that she’s also a carat! i really like oona’s presence and i just feel like she’s someone i want to protect. <3 also makes amazing pastries. she’s also so pretty!!!!! (i really like ur hair sm i think i’ve said this before lol) a cute friend. would send u things saying ‘this reminded me of u’, and i’d get heart attacks from it jsdjdjksd

@oldbooks (fawn) - my frog friend. i think it’s so cute that fawn shares this agenda with hao <3 also unexpectedly tags you on things and leaves cute little notes/tags that makes me want to :’). sophisticated taste!! also really friendly. ily!!

@scoups (hani) - hani is so friendly and takes really good care of her friends!! i was intimidated of her at first, but learnt that she’s an absolute sweetheart. i love how she’s also giving us sm svt content when she’s around! hani’s a supportive friend that you’ll always find yourself looking for. 

@snwo (joy) - refined taste. funny text post advocate. i love joy’s vibe sm!! i first got to know her when she had a hao url and i was super intimidated of her. now she’s one of my absolute besties! aside from her impeccable taste, she’s also such a great friend. this one always has ur back. ily ms joy <3

@sataemism (sof) - sof literally the funniest person in the world!! i’m always happy to see her and she brings me so much joy. very lowkey chaotic vibe (the taemin and hoshi urls speak a lot abt this lol), and just a very fun person overall!!

birdie carats

@flowerbeom (kat) - kat, like the rest of those in this category, is someone i’ve been following for a while now as i came back to tumblr because of got7. kat and i haven’t really talked much but always interact with rb/s and likes and i love that JSDJSDKJDSJ that being said kat’s tags are always so enjoyable to read. + it’s so funny as well that when we actually got to talking we didn’t realize we had a lot in common! a very generous friend. gave me a yugyeom pc even though i’m literally from another continent. 😭

@tuanzie (joanna) - content queen. i looove how joanna’s work has a trademark look to them! they’re always so gorgeous and smooth-looking. i love how joanna’s able to speak her mind and would not take shit from people. i see her as someone brave, but not too out there! also someone you can rely on to put reposters on hit lists mwah<3

@gotseventeens (belle) - my name twin <3 belle is actually one of the people/reasons why i got into svt and i’m eternally grateful to her for that!! we’ve been talking since i first became a birdie but somehow we both have 0 recollections of our conversations JSDJDKSJKSDJ tumblr wouldn’t be as fun for me if belle weren’t around ngl. i love how she seems to be mature yet you’re also up for a wild ride with her!! she’s my own personal wonu <3

@secndlife (karoline) - i’ve also been following karoline since i was a birdie, but we only became mutuals here! i love her writing so much and i enjoy seeing her lose her mind over hoshi (mood <3)

@defgyus (val) - i often associate belle with val and i think they have a lot of similarities!! val also gives me the mature yet fun vibe. i think val’s so successful and i admire her a lot!! i love her work sm and just love how she interacts with people. very warm and homey!!

more carat moots i haven't really talked to but enjoy seeing on the dash

@emailclub (emily), @kyeomblr (maddie), @joshuahong (bea), @delicatecy (deli), @mintyseoks, @syuperseventeen (nat), @haol (mali), @svtclub (hannah), @cutiejoshi (siri), @chanswu (mandy), @jeonghannie (myrena), @squishy-woozi (kris), @wonwooo (hiba), @rameniji (rain), @cafevernon (ish), @hoshluv, @minghyu (nicole), @mingyiu (katya), @yeol (tat), @dearkyeom (kristy), @seokgyus (kai), @bbaksu (akemi), @1adyluck (sushi), @shineesbag (gen)

[c-c-cherry]

Hello~ Y’all know I love Josuke so here’s my take on it <3

In my opinion, I feel like despite having a lot of physical stamina and a stand that makes it really easy for him to do a job like that, police life just wouldn’t be for him. If anything, fighting threats and enemy stands on the side with help from the SPW seems much easier to me! I also feel like he has a bit of a saviour/hero complex and,,,people like that with jobs like that...let’s just say things tend to get messy sometimes.

Long story short, he could fit virtually any job but I’m a strong advocate for doctor or nurse Josuke specializing in primary care and physical injury!!!

Follow me through the weird journey that occurred in my brain as I thought of Dr. Josuke shenanigans. This was literally so fucking fun thank you anon:

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

-I think, especially after the Kira fight, the last thing he would really want to do is a more combat or command-heavy job like that

- He wouldn’t want to be tied down to it for the rest of his life and would rather use his abilities to heal than be involved in conflict :)

-Hear me out on this—but post-canon he had a fascination with how the human body worked since he could basically rip it apart and put it back together

-He started reading about how all that stuff works, how people naturally heal and everything to do with medicine, and eventually just decided to take classes on it in school, where he got even more passionate about it

-He didn’t exactly miss a lot of school during canon and the time he spent in the hospital after the fight really showed him how all that stuff worked up close

-He watched a lot of people struggle while he was there and realized there was a lot of good he could probably do in the world with his ability

-Studying for a job like that is pretty difficult, but y’all know Jotaro had to take a fair share of the sciences before he specialized in sea life and the two of them bonding while helping Josuke study makes me HAPPY

-Also,,,I don’t know if it's ever specified in the show if Josuke was prominently academically intelligent or not, but I think if he’s passionate enough about learning that kind of stuff he’d be able to do it regardless :)))

-The SPW recruited him for a medical position once he graduated and slowly integrated him into a job at the hospital where he was able to treat non-stand emergencies (although his stand was usually unknown by his co-workers)

-I like to think that Josuke actually met a few stand users while transferring from hospital to hospital who all had some kind of healing ability

-Like once in awhile Josuke would be doing his rounds and a fucking red ghost pops out of one of the other doctors to help stop blood loss and Josuke’s like “WAIT YOU HAVE ONE TOO??” and the doctor is like “YOU CAN SEE IT??” and it's like that Spiderman meme where they’re all pointing at each other like :D

-Stands that replenish fluid or protein? Stands that can stop/speed up clotting or create more blood? Stands that can heal the sick or act like magical painkillers? Stands that control levels like oxygen and co2? They exist and they all gravitated towards this job for a reason and Josuke is amazed

-Some of them were just born with this strange power that made them want to use it for good while others explained that this ghost-like figure just APPEARED one day during work

-Josuke’s favourite doctor friend is a surgeon and during a really fatal emergency surgery her stand just materialized out of nowhere and did some crazy shit like reverse organ failure and now everyone thinks she’s a miracle worker when in reality a beefy pink woman follows her around everywhere and aggressively yells shit like “YOU GET A NEW LIVER” that only she can hear

-Of course he introduces all these guys to Tonio because he thinks Tonio’s mind would be blown BUT IT TURNS OUT TONIO IS WELL-KNOWN IN THE COMMUNITY FROM VOLUNTEERING IN HOSPITAL KITCHENS AROUND THE FUCKING COUNTRY???

-Lets just say there’s this small inner-circle of stand users working in medicine somehow completely under the SPW’s radar and Jotaro was surprised to hear about all the healers that turned out to be doctors and nurses

-Josuke ends up being known as a walking good luck charm where he works because people seem to magically get better when they’re around him and the paramedics start bringing him with them to gruesome scenes where—you guessed it—he’s even more helpful

-He’ll just pop over to the injured at the scene and be like “oh wow they’re all magically not injured at all haha how lucky” and all the other paramedics just stand there like :0

-When Rohan once realized his interview was on the second page of a magazine because DR. FUCKING HIGASHIKATA was on the front cover instead he was LIVID

-Anyone in and out of the hospital can easily tell who he is because of his stupid hair and white lab coat (that he’s started growing accustomed to wearing even outside of work...uh oh...)

-He teases Jotaro so much about his PhD and whenever he introduces him and Joot to people he always refers to himself as “the real doctor” and Jotaro can’t even say anything because he got his PhD because of a fucking starfish

-Also family reunions are really fucking funny because if Josuke just put on a hat he may as well be Jotaro and the two just stare at each other like “...” when they both realize they wore white again that day out of habit

-Dolphin-shaped coat pins? A giant golden protractor on his coat? No. Josuke still has those fucking peace signs and heart pins and YES he sticks them on his coat >:)

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

Side note but I think Jotaro gave Koichi a small portion of the SPW since Joseph can’t really run it anymore and Josuke seemed pretty uninterested rip Jolyne)

Also Tonio definitely took Okuyasu under his wing while Josuke was doing all this shit and he definitely went to culinary school thanks to Tonio and became a chef :)

Also YES Josuke comes over all the time no matter where he is and Okuyasu makes dinner for him and Josuke heals all the cuts on Okuyasu’s hands from when he was a dummy and hurt himself cutting vegetables :3

[blxckfairy3]

Bakugoxfemreader

This is an oneshot or series, of bakugo being in an band and ur one of his biggest fans

This was one of his biggest shows ever u made sure to have the front row seat u posted about it saying "im so excited can't wait to see the band tonight" but you got an comment under ur post from bakugo :0

Official.bakugo

Yeah u better be excited, by any chance which row would you be sitting in.

Y/n l/n

Im sitting in the front row so i can see yall better

Official.bakugo

Okay well ig i hope to see u there

Oh my god bakugo the one who i have an crush on in the band just noticed u.

Hours later

You got ready u put on and white crop top that says bandmates

With blue jeans. You got in ur car and left. You got there and got to ur seat surprisingly ur were the second one there the show doesn't start untill the next 2 hours. As u walk in u see bakugo, you walk to ur seat fast and sit down. Little did u know he was waiting for u cuz he likes ur energy u have for his band. He grabs the mic and asked sense there is only 2 of u which one of yall are y/n l/n u standed up and said that is me, he looked at u as he thought "wow she is so beautiful" he said "okay nice to meet u hope u like the shiw thats happing in an little bit" you said "ofc i would like the show" u say back down and waited.

2 hours later

The show just started and denki started playing the guitar while Kirishima plays the guitar too deku is the lead singer. Im the middle of the show it was bakugos time to do his part by himself, he did he but he was looking at u. He looked away and his time was over everyone started playing together now, but u couldn't keep ur eyes off of him he was just so handsome. It was tge end of the show and they had to pick an person from the crowd to sing one of the high notes (cuz why not ve added to it 😏😏 anyways) they picked u and u did it u bit the high note and did all the other things too. (Also why am i making u sing in there idky i just like it) you sat back down in ur chair and u sung the ending part and everyone was clapping for u and them. U looked embarrassed u were blushing.

U get to meet and greet after too

U were last in line 😒 cuz everyone was running. U got up there and gave deku and hug denki an hug and Kirishima, ofc u toke pictures and then here it comes u gave bakugo an hug and hu hugged you back, he also asked for ur number 😏😏

You made it home and he texted you

Bakugo

Did you make it home safely

Y/n:Yes i did bakugo

Call me katsuki

But did u like the show

Y/n: yes i did

U did an amazing job ig at singing the high note, why do u hide ur talent

Y/n: i dont i sing a lot but i dont like being seen bt big people and then get taken advantage of

Oh well thats okay

Y/n: why are u acting all nice ur always mean?

So an guy can't be nice to onw of his fans

Y/n: no no its fine dont worry i like it but i was just wondering

Oh okay well um could i by any chance come by ur house tomorrow

Y/n: uh sure heres my address xxx xxxxxxx

Ok ok wel gn y/n see you tomorrow

Y/n: gn bakugo see u tomorrow

This is the end im gonna make an part 2 if you like it please like or if u want more stories then follow me. Okay bye

[onyourzeus]

11:48 am | pjh

title: 11:48am pairing: park jaehyung (of day6) & you genre: fluff, bullet style words: 2.1k

author’s note: mmm i’m kind of meh about this but i jus really needed to write so i don’t lose motivation, but this is just a short fic requested by this anon asking for a lazy day scenario with jae. hope it’s still an okay read.

any requests? check my pinned post if i’m accepting any at the moment, thanks!

once you receive a specific text from jae on a regular day

“whatchu doinnnn” 

you know he’s wondering if you’re not busy, and if you come hang out at his place

which, for the majority of the time, you always tell him “not much. y?”

even though you’re 99% sure of what he wants out of you

you have already made your way to a coffee shop before he had replied 

“same. wanna do nothing together? :)”

so u get two coffees: one americano and one vanilla latte (as much as you want to cut down calories here, there is no way you can drink just water and espresso by itself

you decide on getting two sandwiches as well, it’s close to noon and there’s a high probability that jae just woke up and he hasn’t even moved from the bed

you’re lowkey happy that jae texts you first (assumingly) during days like this because, honestly you miss the 6 foot lanky nerdy soft boy a lot

jae has a habit of keeping to himself during his downtime, especially now 

but with him streaming and having new friends through the platform has helped him socialize and feel a sense of normalcy from the world, which you are really glad for 

he’s mentioned how much he misses doing band activities but doesn’t really elaborate on them

he think he talks about it too much and that you wouldn’t want to hear his repetitive whining

you don’t have the needed bravery in your heart (yet) to tell him you will never get bored or feel burdened by his thoughts, no matter what they entail

so for now, when he asks of your presence in his lovely abode— you make time for him. always. 

even if it’s just a lazy day of doing nothing

you knock on his door and text him at the same time. you look around his neighborhood and enjoy the peace and quiet outside. you wonder if jae’s soundproof walls work well enough for his next door neighbors this time. you had told him multiple times that sungjin wouldn’t appreciate the noise too much, and he if he wanted to play he can do so at your place 

however you never suggested that last thought. it swam in the sea of your thoughts one too many times but it never came to shore. you thought too much about the implications of that idea

besides, what good came out of reminding him of his streamer noises is that he finally has an apartment of his own

and you don’t feel as shy or out of place whenever you came over to the one he shared with the boys 

“oh hey, wasn’t expecting you,” jae had opened the door and you snap out of your wondering

he greets you with drowsy eyes, a full yawn and long strands of hair sticking out everywhere 

you huff out a breath and show the goods in your hands. “you’re definitely gonna need this.”

his eyes light up as he recognizes the contents of the paper bag

“whaaaat you shouldn’t have, i was about to order for delivery,” he tries for an innocent tone but the goofy smile on his face makes that extra trip to the cafe worth it

“you’re welcome, jae.”

lazy days with jae come in two ways

number one: absolutely the title. you crash on the bed, he scolds you for it but then you feel his crushing weight on top of you for revenge or

you hog the couch, splay your legs until jae does the same thing and entangles all your limbs together it becomes a semi wrestling match

number two: he’d end up wanting to do something all this time, either jam on his guitar or play WoW with you in the background, just watching

commenting on things you have 0 knowledge about, and him dismissing every words you say with a random scream from his end

“you’re so bad at this lmao”

“NONONO STOPSTOPSTOP NONONO”

“is the riff supposed to sound like that? ew” 

“you want your face to meet my guitar? :)” 

yeah, banter between you can be brutal like this which is why it gets a little embarrassing to be your true self with him when the others are involved 

today, jae seems to just enjoy sipping on his iced coffee while tippy tapping on the floor to sit next to you on the couch

??? how can a grown man do something puppies so effortlessly pull out… just as cute if not even better??? 

usually, silence isn’t how the two of you spend lazy days together. once he’s thought of a topic to talk about, however out of this world or mundane it could be— the conversations you share are what you cherish the most bonding with jae

“you ever think about the first piece of a roll of sliced bread?”

“you mean the weird looking pieces no one ever chooses first and leaves it there until there’s none of the good slices left?”

“the very one” “what about it?”

“you’re that slice of bread”

“well yeah? jokes on you, you’re the OTHER piece. there’s two in a pack dumbass” 

one would mistake this as insulting, but this is how jae shows his affection to you, and you wouldn’t want it any other way

there’s a certain comfort in just.. not deliberating whether you’d overstep a line or say something that would be misconstrued. with jae, you appreciate the candid friendship you mutually benefit from

his sarcastic personality can be a pain at times when not needed, of course, but when you’ve missed him so much it just feels right

“jae your legs are too long for the couch get a new one.” he had taken over the other end of the couch with his legs over yours, and you’re trying your best to make the position comfortable

but being inches close to his socks and noticing that he’s intentionally moving his feet about just to annoy you

“you get me a new couch so we both fit here”

“bro do you know how empty my wallet is rn” 

“as empty as your love life?”

“oh we’re talking about ourselves right now? ok cool”

he scoffs at your comeback, but he remains speechless and gives you room to breathe. you panic for a second thinking maybe, this is the unexplained boundary he has to draw a line on? love? 

but he puts down his already finished americano, and looks back at you a deadpan expression

you sit up as well, nerves creeping up on your arm. you didn’t want to take it too far and in your defense, this isn’t the first time you teased each other about your, well, non-existent romantic endeavors

“jae, i—”

“oh my god did you see your face?? i was kidding chilllll” he starts to burst into a fit of laughter, the kind where he loses air and lolls his head back 

this time you pout, reaching over to flick him on the forehead. his 6th sense had improved a lot overtime being with you as he blocks your hand away from his face, and sticks a tongue out

“you think i wasn’t prepared for that anymore?” he taunt, locking his grip around your wrist

“now you’re just making fun of me” >:(

“you get really puffy cheeks and look adorable when you’re mad” 

“THAT IS NOT A VALID REASON!!”

eventually he lets you go, pats your head then proceeds to just ruffle it as messy as his, and in an instant your mood changes again

you shouldn’t lie to yourself anymore, you love jae’s company and it would kill you if he’d one day decide he’s too old or too “mature” for moments like this

you get winded up with denial of having a crush on your best friend, and you’re so sure he knows at this point

because he reels you back into the present and challenges you to a game os super smash bros

and when he loses, he does it again. and you win again, and this time he says it was just a warm-up and he shouldn’t go easy on you anymore

and then you win again, and you’re the one cackling in the air at his look of defeat as well as the 6 losses he had endured during the matches

“man you’re getting rusty”

“am not! i’ve just been playing WoW too much i’m not used to switch controls anymore…”

“sure buddy”

“HEY, 1v1 me in league right now, i dare you”

“no”

“WHY?”

“you only have one desktop, stupid. i didn’t bring my laptop”

“oh so by default I win :D”

nothing can ever get away with jae, he always needs to have the last laugh with you and at times it’s frustrating, but his carefree charisma has grown on you so much that you anticipate what else he has in store to give you a hard time 

jokes on him, you fall for jae just an inch deeper the more he treats you comfortably this way 

it’s only been an hour or two, but jae had decided that he’s done enough productive stuff for the day (read: losing too many times) and invited you over to chill on his bed

it’s not an uncommon sight for the both of you to lie next to each other, taking turns with queueing up music on spotify. songs you and jae love together, and those that are new to your ears 

sometimes, you’d talk over the playlist— it becomes more of background noise as jae asks you about your day, the days before that, and what you’re planning on doing in the future

he doesn’t ask for specific answers, he likes to hear how you’ve been feeling, emotionally so

jae has always been intrigued by other people’s perception of themselves, of the things around them, and of what they think of the universe in the back of their minds

it was a little too much to handle, those questions of his, when you first were just getting to know each other

but he eased into it naturally, confessing about his love for the moon— its beauty in appearance, and the beauty of its purpose

which made you think… you’re in love with the moon too, not just what you see in the sky

but what you see right next to you right now

jae had given you enough time before to open up about your own thoughts, struggles, and share secrets with him. it didn’t take long until you found the trust between you and held onto it for dear life

lazy days with jae can be just that— lazy, loafing around the house, stealing a chip or two from each other’s bag, falling asleep to the sound of lofi music on the speaker

but it can go this way too: with jae explaining how good this one song can be, the metaphors every verse carries with the melody. “you’ve always heard of chocolate eyes or whatever, but blueberry? and to describe the setting sun as strawberry skies? amazing, GENIUS” 

and you laugh, and listen to the same song over and over as per jae’s request until he overpowers the original vocals— and you don’t complain, there’s not a sound you love to hear on a lazy afternoon than his low register, the kind of singing he does just for the heck of it. he’s not exerting too much range, too much work on the words he sings— he’s just doing so to comfort him, to bring life to the room, to dwell on each poetic verse’s meaning

i’m so lost in your blueberry eyes

he finishes singing, and the playlist shuffles to an instrumental lofi track with an upbeat, charming rhythm to it

jae keeps his eyes closed, smiling to himself probably proud for his faux performance

“you done gloating in your head yet, jae?”

“shut up i’m feeling the moment”

you poke his shoulder with yours, and you’re suddenly hyper aware at how close the two of you are.. physically, right now

he turns his head towards you, eyes fluttering, lips slightly open. he catches you staring, and it’s too sudden for you to look away and pretend it’s not awkward at all

“what are you doing?” he asks, a lilt of teasing on his voice but his eyes never leave yours 

“sh..shut up,” you quip in a small voice, looking down on your laying bodies before turning away, cheeks warm

“wait what? what i was asking a genuine question—”

“i was.. feeling the moment, okay? god jae you’re annoying” you mutter under your breath, a lousy response to cover up the pounding in your chest

“this moment feels really nice, doesn’t it?” he says next to you, quiet but gentle

you pause for a second, taking in his words and letting go of the smile you’re trying to hold off on

your heart is still racing, but there wasn’t a need to worry about stumbling with your feelings

if jae himself is enjoying your own company right now 

“it is. if it’s with you, it really is.”

[origami10]

Ajin ch 86 thoughts

Okay, it’s been a little bit! Thoughts and spoilers under the cut! (Warning, this is very long)

Writing this in a word doc because a) I don’t want to risk going on tumblr and b) I don’t want to risk the post getting deleted in the middle  [note from the end: this ended up being four pages long in a Word document, so I’m sorry]

Ahhhh, last time buying the digital magazine ><    Until... if... Sakurai starts publishing something new...

It seems kind of unfair not to have Ajin be the cover feature if it’s ending DX I guess they’re just starting with a new series, though. Is that how that works? (It has a main character with white hair so I might be interested...) It’s at the beginning of the mag.

Okay, yeah, pages 111-175.  Aggghhhh I’ve always put off reading the end of series, but I think this is the first one I’ve been up to date with when it actually ended. Promised Neverland was close.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ooh completely new characters...?????? whoops overshot the starting page by a few ughhhh it’s definitely the last one... I mean we knew that, but still..... OMG NO IT’S IZUMI AND TANAKA ISN’T IT??    jeez woah  I can’t wait to hear other readers’ reactions    [edit: yes this was about clover, and she recorded her reaction, which was beautiful ;u;] also omg they’re at least appearing together

omg Sakurai’s author’s note: “It’s very cold, isn’t it. Everyone, I hope you don’t catch a cold.”       YOU’RE NOT EVEN GOING TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT’S ENDING?

okay, so at least some time skip Tanaka: New identity, who dis Ooh, Izumi called Tanaka “anta” – the rude/familiar version of ‘you’, rather than the polite one. Honestly I don’t remember but it’s probably what she called him previously. And then turns around and called him anata the next page X’D  Okay, I’m glad that not being consistent is okay in Japanese, I always worry/wonder about that ooooh so Tanaka doesn’t have a new identity YET. I wonder how long it’s been?? omg Tosaki prepared it??    Was he thinking that far ahead? Or is he not dead....   ???  okay so he made it ahead of time     oh, and Izumi was the one who asked him for it??? Oh wow, Izumi has yet another change of identity. I wonder if she’s back to (omggg I forget D: her original name... Tainaka [hah]) Also another great shot emphasizing their height difference X’) lmaoooo I always love when there manages to be some humor oh, they’re only about three years apart! I wonder if that helps pin down the timeline at all??

Aw, Izumi still respects Tosaki lmao  “I’m going home.” “You really have places to be?”  Oh I guess that wasn’t quite it- she really was wondering if he was had a living location... so he has been kinda on the run ><    [Sakurai. Sakurai, happy ending. There is, right? Right?]

Oh dude I really didn’t think we’d get any resolution on that ship and like, idk if this counts as resolution but it sure looks like it does right now okay I’m really sorry but part of me is like ///we’re using so many of the remaining pages on this///  although oh I guess it’s only been 10 pages... it feels like so many since the chapters have been so short lately...

heyyyyy  I mean we kinda knew the U.S. ajin would be back or else what was the point of introducing them Ogura not being dead at the end of the series is extremely impressive (also hopefully Kai :prayer hands:  as in I think he survived) so Ogura didn’t tell them he was coming back huh ... with the crew??? :eyes emoji: lmao AND they thought he was dead, I’m cackling oh okay so they had heard he wasn’t dead the close up of Jim’s face reminds of Kai somehow I guess this manga isn’t so long (and the U.S. ajin left enough of an impression) that at least we’re not like WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE “I’ll kill you!!” “Go ahead!!”  HA Winnn I think the people in this series need to get their idea of ‘fun’ checked I don’t really understand what he says in the bubble after that... I’ll have to check the English did he like, metaphorically die because he’s out of FKs? I’m not up on my cigarette brands enough to know if that’s an FK or not... I think it’s what the brand turned into...? oh no what’s this omg    is it gonna be Kai? Are they all gonna be in there? Kotobuki??   also this is already super sad that not everyone got out of jail free... unless they did and I’ll see... but also it’s realistic so all for the best I guess?  i have no idea OH HA I thought it was the juvenile detention center but it’s Takahashi !  o_o not entirely sure I understand what Takahashi says to the guard either at least everyone’s having... fun??? KAI KAI KAI    gahhhh this looks exactly like how ch 69 started and agh they’re both in juvie but ahhhhh they’re together??         I’m already scared to read and actually find out –o- oh wait they have dates to get out!  and they said plural ‘we’ “That was fast”  I feel like that panel represents what this chapter means to me somehow lmao they just want them to be not their problem anymore... that really wraps it up nicely, hilariously, and realistically I’m glad I’m not translating this because there are really a couple lines where I don’t completely understand them “something happened that day”  um, yeah WOW I did NOT think we were going to get an answer to whether Kai was an ajin now or not, but I feel like that definitively answers that question?????     also that’s terribly funny HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW KEI REVIVED HIM??       -punches a wall-  Kai’s whole personality is  ‘I don’t really remember that happening’  >_____________________________> Kei... gave Kai a reason to live... because he almost died...?      I still kinda have faith in this wrapping up well but GOD Kai is not a character to invest all your emotion into, laughs cryingly Kotobuki: “You literally never make any sense, man.” oh no “ano natsu” GAH

I just realized that this almost certainly means Kai and Kou never met. There isn’t enough keysmashing in the world to express my desire to throw my laptop at a wall right now

In no way shape or form did I ever expect to get closure on Akiyama, even on him getting out of the barrel

Manabe definitely stole whatever it is he’s holding but it was probably some kind of personal effects...?  [my powers of prediction suck most of the time] he really looks beat up now ;u; Izukyū-Shimoda... Win, that’s not where you traveled, is it?  Maybe I saw it on the Sunday NHK travel program... but it’s also the end of the train line and has ferries going out into the ocean islands.  Is he getting away, or going home.......? or to Hirasawa or something...?

well that was an extremely abrupt shift are they really shooting Satou up into space they’re not using him as a test subject are they that sounds like an even more awful idea than I ever could have come up with okay... oh jeez can we please please not have Satou be Captain America you just KNOW he’s going to make trouble again, ,, , , ,!!

oh jeez Eriko! I didn’t expect to see her but it’s nice! it’s really sinking in that that’s all the closure we’re going to get on Kai isn’t it Eriko tsundere as if that needed confirmed okay cool, so she’s out of the hospital (for now)

It does seem appropriate? Likely? That Kei didn’t go home. WE BETTER SEE KOU THIS CHAPTER oh, it’s fall   (or winter? Izumi said it was cold...) oh phew

Sakurai said RIP KeiKai shippers I guess....  but they still influenced each other so that’s still shippable even though they’re not together?  sigh not everything is so straightforward and I guess it’s good it reflects that

Kei looks happy enough was Kei working a blue collar job with Kou or something? That’s 100% unexpected Kou adorable omg what is his new name gonna be Also ;-; so they’ve giving ajin rights but everyone’s still staying undercover...? or Kou isn’t I guess, that’s sweet oh wow we admit Tosaki’s great     I guess last chapter’s statement that they found his remains must have settled whether he’s alive or not ‘iroiro atta na’  YOU THINK    also pretty sure that’s Kai’s line from the drama CD what’s with that Kei face??? OMG PERF       also that is scarily close to what I wrote in a fic, but also pretty much to be expected crap I guess at least Tanaka and Izumi are with each other? KAI’S MOON JACKET   WITH THE SMILIE       we really messed up characterizing Kai as the sun haha he’s out he’s out he’s out is he going to meet someone literally zooming out on everyone (like at the end of last chapter too) is kinda messing with me Like they’re still around and doing stuff but we aren’t (don’t get to) watch them anymore Kou saying ‘let’s all meet again’... my heart is warm ;0; LMAO

we can at least rest assured that everyone stayed in character

I can’t I can’t I can’t  [note, this was when I thought Kei saying ‘nah’ was the last page]

O MM FRICKING GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

omg Sakurai you’ve done it again bwahahaah a coworker hit him and is like ‘oh cool fine nevermind’ this is WAY more hilarious than I was expecting for this chapter How do I always forget that Ajin has so much comedy not remembering what page number the chapter ends on is nice

Tankobon releases May 7th in Japan Elizaaaaaa Kei’s got a Shion coat

alright uh well I guess that’s good, in a way, we still get to imagine whatever we want

Finishing it hasn’t sunk in yet, I’ve have to get back to you on that one.

[galaxy-of-me]

a response to waywardfacegarden’s response bc ily why did you write so much

note: i forgot to post this i’m clowning so hard rn anyway i made a separate post bc long but uh enjoy

@waywardfacegarden

OH MY GOD YOURE AMAZING YOU LITERALLY WROTE AN ESSAY ANBDABSHSHASAKKQ. never apologize for writing something so in-depth and passionate!! i really loved hearing your take on it all and like wow there were a lot of good points.

(also sorry if i get any of this wrong it’s been a hot minute since i read the manga lol)

uh but basically when i first read the last few chapters i was literally so shocked like NSJSJSAJSSM I REALLY WASNT EXPECTING ANY ACTUAL LGBT+ RELATIONSHIPS FROM THIS SHONEN JUMP MANGA BUT NO. they de👏🏻li👏🏻vered👏🏻. i was one of those people who thought the ending was kinda rushed but i think part of the reason for that was because i literally zoomed through the last chapter when i heard about the taichi/touma endgame LMAO. but also i felt like the transition was just very sudden. i’m generally pretty neutral towards timeskips because, while realistically the most important events in your life do not all happen in one year, story-wise it leaves a lot unsaid and often feels like an excuse for when the author doesn’t really know how to transition one event to the other smoothly. (this is not the case with all time-skips but it does often happen when a story is rushed to a sudden conclusion.)

i do agree that taichi and futaba breaking up was realistic! okay, but when i read “i broke up with futaba” i was actually shocked, haha. i was just thinking “what? they were doing so well though??”. but after a while i kinda just accepted it. i mean, that’s what happens. you aren’t always going to end up spending the rest of your life with your high school sweetheart and that doesn’t mean that something horrible happened between the two of you. break ups happen for a lot of different reasons. maybe it just isn’t the right time or you’re just heading in different directions.

one of the core aspects of the story for me was platonic vs. romantic love and how a lot of characters outside the main trio would push the idea of romantic love being more important than platonic love on taichi and how he felt he had to choose to either keep his best friend or his crush. it felt kinda contradictory for the story to go “lmao well you see the solution is to just marry your best friend” lol. when put under the context of what you saw as the main theme though (as in make decisions that will make you happy in the moment) the ending makes a lot more sense.

i think the contradiction of this theme i had set for the story (which had made me so invested in it) was what tipped me off about the ending for the most part. there is also the fact that the story spent so long on convincing the audience that taichi did not reciprocate touma’s feelings. many of the major conflicts in the later half of the story rooted from touma’s one-sided love. even though taichi did love touma very much, he still could not just lie to him to make him feel better. that’s just not the type of person he was or is. (okay, but taichi totally had a crush on him when they were kids though i will not even try to argue with that LMAOAOAO.) some romantic development between the two would have been nice, like literally just three panels of taichi slowly becoming more fond of touma would have been enough lol. i do understand that it was probably difficult as hell to even have a taitouma endgame (i mean touma’s face wasn’t even shown for the entirety of the last chapter like mm censorship is fun). the fact that they were even allowed to show taichi and touma being married is so. significant. thank you, wow. but i am still allowed to give “what if”s and such.

overall, i think i had my expectations for ao no flag way too low while reading it which is why the ending caught me off guard. if i re-read it today i think i’d be able to appreciate it a lot more but the stuff i wrote above is pretty much the thought process i had directly after reading the ending lol.

(btw you can call me galaxy/hayes/lila/audrey or like all of the above lmao!! i don’t really have a preference :0)

((also is there a name i can call you bc i’ve literally just been referring to you in my head as “KDJSJSJS NICE MUTUAL WHO IS NICE” or “sasunaru pfp” or “waywardfacegarden”, hahA.))

[alonelyhollowgram]

I Listened To 40 (+1) King Covers

I decided to listen to a bunch of King covers since there are so many and why not? This is my feelings on them. The song is originally by Kanaria sung by Gumi. I don`t know who this post is for. Under the cut due to the length.

Flare - This is the first cover I`ve listened to, so I might be biased. I really like this one. Flare`s deep voice fits the song perfectly and she sounds great with plenty of energy.

Risu - Definitely not bad. I`m kinda missing  some pow in her voice though.

Kanata - It sounds good. I do wish she went a  bit lower in tone. Also her “hahaha”s felt more like she`s giggling, personally I prefer the clearer “Haha” ones instead. 

Towa - Towa`s voice is really great in general and I feel like it shines in songs like this. I`m not the biggest fan of  the “pah”s (0:56), it sounds like it has gone through a filter. 

Shion - Shion`s cover seems to be the most viewed cover in Hololive and I can understand that. She sings the song a  bit softer all around (1:00, for example). This makes the cover feel a bit smugger, which plays with Shion`s strengths. 

Roboco - Holy harmonies, batman! That was my first reaction. This was a unique take on the song by adding things like  harmonies and extra laughter. She sings some of the lines differently by changing the tone of her voice at certain points reflecting the lyrics. However, I feel like her voice becomes a bit too airy at some points in the songs,     especially at the high notes (0:21). This is a bit off topic, but  shout-out to the English subtitles! You can tell that effort has been put into it.

Matsuri - It sounds fine, but it doesn`t really stick out. I really like the way she rolls R in Ratata (1:28) though, so much that it`s kind of a highlight of the cover.

Watame - Her voice fits this song. I`m not entirely sure what the choir (?) is (0:52). It`s a bit strange, but it doesn`t detract from the cover. I like her “Haha”s.  

Sora - Sora`s cover isn`t very intimidating/threatening, I find it rather cute! I really like how the “pah”s goes in the left ear and in the right ear independently. The instrumental kinda sticks out too.

Reine - Wooow. That was great! I`m at the point that I can really appreciate someone having a different take on this  song. The remix sounds good, the MV adds a lot of energy and Reine sounds good too, of course.

Sukoya - Let`s finally step out of Hololive. Yeah, this is pretty good. She sings this a bit softer (like Shion) which fits her well.

Chima - Good. This cover uses a bit of an echo thing which I think makes it sound better (1:07).

Asano Sisters - I think the one singing is Ruri? I`m not familar with them. It doesn`t really stick out, but she sings it well. 

Nui - Her voice is smooth. She also uses the choir effect, not as effectively as others though. Not the biggest fan of her “Haha”s.

Kizuna Ai - This is the 15th one I`ve listened to in a row She sings it well, but it doesn`t stick out.

Gero - This is the first cover by a guy I`ve listened too. Just that makes it special. I like it a lot. The instrumental sounds unique with an organ sound at times and it has extra voice effects.

Luz - This one uses a lot of backing voices like a creepy whisper and more. Pretty OK all around.

Meychan - Pretty good. Not much more to add.

Nanana - This one surprised me. It was a  pretty standard cover until 1:40 when her voice became deeper, and the  avatar changed to someone with shorter hair! Very exciting. Just by being different makes this one better.

Soraru - He sounds good. I like his “Haha”s.

Kagura Nana - Pretty good. She adds laughter in the     background sometimes and puts her voice through a filter. It makes it     sound different. The last “you are king” (2:14) was really     cute. 

Lumi Celestia - This cover was sung very soft and airy. It doesn`t sound as good as I`d like. Another shout-out to the English subtitles. They are really nice.

Kotone - I like her voice. Sounds strong. 

Kuzuha - I think this might be the cover with the most views. Wow. i get it. He sounds good and the song fits him.

Shien - His voice is nice. It fits the song. His “haha”s are a bit weak.

Alfakyun - There are multiple people singing  this, right? It sticks out on that alone. Well, it sounds nice.

Rinu - I like how she sings this. Makes it feel  different than the others. 

Honma - Wow the MV! I haven`t been this  excited since Reine`s cover. I`m not that into her voice, it`s a bit too squeaky.  

Inamtr/ 猪七 祭 -いな まつり -  This one gave me quite the laugh haha.

Rion - This was nice. Her laughs were cute.      

Tojiro - I wasn`t very into his voice, but sometimes he sings kind of like a growl which is interesting. 

Shima - Back with the choir and organ thing. It sounds fine, but it doesn`t stick out.

Mafumafu feat.  nqrse - This was a pleasant surprise. It starts off with an original rap. This version is a duet. Both do a good job, the inclusion of nqrse was a good decision. It sticks out a lot.

Tamaki - It`s fine. He doesn`t sound as good with the high notes though.

Sukoya (again) - Turns out there is another version. This time it`s a remix by DJ WILDPARTY. At this point I`m just happy for something different. It sounds good, but some parts are better than others. 

Utako Suzuka - This one reminds me of Nanana`s cover because both change their voices to be more masculine later in the song. I prefer Nanana`s cover over this one, but it still sounds fine.

Melissa - This cover isn`t that different from the rest, but I like it a lot. They sing it well and from 1:55 and to the end is unique with the growl Melissa does and more. 

Kaida Haru - This cover can get rather breathy at points lol. I`m not the biggest fan of that. 

Chigusa - I think this song shows off her vocals well. This is another that changes voices in the middle of the song. From short hair to long hair this time contrasting the others that changes the voices. It sounds good.

Leona - Her voice fits this song well. Sounds nice all around. I`m into it.

*Belmond - It`s been a couple days since I listened to the King covers, so the break gave me time to clear my mind. The first though I had after listening to Belmond`s version is wow. He made the song his own. The first 30-ish seconds was quite the first impression. I thought it was really cool. The entire instrumental felt like that to me, it was nice. Belmond`s voice is so powerful in this song. It sounds good, and it complements the instrumental well. The video itself is also nice. The smoke is a nice touch.

I`m done! Wow, that took some time. I was probably more open to the starting ones than the rest. I guess that`s what happens after listening to the same song so many times. I`ll take a long break from this song haha. 

 Anyway, here is a list of the standouts:

Flare: She was the first cover I listened to and I do really like it.

Reine: This one was very good. Definitely worth a listen.

Roboco: This was very unique. 

Nanana: The change is pretty cool.

Inamtr: This one gave me a laugh.

Mafumafu feat.  nqrse: Another unique one.

*Melissa: Yeah, I thought this one was nice.

*Belmond: This might be recency bias kicking in, but still.

(* signifies an edit.)

[extremelybonkers]

What I think about the SMP: PART 2

Wow, we reached that 10 note goal fast. Why do you guys like this garbage content? I don't know, but thanks! So, now we move to part 2!

NOTE: this part is now talking about people more than groups of people. I need more content :)

(Editing Fox here, I meant, I was too lazy to use the rest of the groups on the SMP and thought I'd have more fun writing about characters in general.)

(Editing Editing Fox here. What past me said was I was too lazy to go on google and look something up, but I thought it would be fun to make this. But really, I had a massive headache and wanted to commit die so, I just wrote in my tired state of mind.)

TECHNOBLADE

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE CHARACTER?

I love Techno, C! Techno, and CC! Techno. Both are just monotone murders of the heart. But, more into C! Techno! I do appreciate that when Techno is onscreen, he says something that makes you go "Oh fuck, shit bout to go down". He is so scary and when you see what he does in lore streams, whether it's fighting or poetry, he makes you feel something. (also, I read the whole Sun Tzu: Art of War. Disclaimer: It's long, will give you a headache, and you need to take notes.)

WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT THIS CHARACTER?

I love that Techno is in the morally gray like he will do what he deems right in the situation. For example, he fights alongside Philza and Dream to destroy a country. But then, he starts the Antarctic Empire, which is sorta a monarchy/dictatorship as he tries to get rid of all government opposing him. (I am full of shit so, if I am wrong, please tell me). So, yeah, I like that he is him.

IF YOU WERE TO ASK THIS CHARACTER ANYTHING, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK?

I would most likely ask, "What is the Syndicate planning?". We haven't heard from them in so long, please I will pay for some new Syndicate lore.

QUACKITY

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE CHARACTER?

I love CC! Quackity. He is male wife and he is pretty (not as pretty as Sam, but I digress). Now, I will thoroughly tell you how much I hate his character.

(be warned, I ramble for a bit. you can skip this part if you want)

C! Quackity makes me want to rescue Dream. I hear you saying, "Whitney, he's not that bad, is he? Freeing Dream, come one, Quack's not that bad." But, oh yes, it is.

Now, for content, I was watching Yu-Gi-Oh season 0 (that shit is dark, please make more) and I thought to myself, "Wow, Yami (or Atem, if you're annoying) is really beating these guys up. Like, I get their horrible people, but you literally trapped Kiba in a card and forced him to feel the pain of battling monsters."

I then thought, well that's what Quackity is doing. Dream has already lost and is locked in prison with no chance of parole, no need to torture him.

And, sure, I get Big Q wants the revive book but, is torture the best way to do it? I would literally prefer to say you'll let him out if he gives you the book and when he gives you the book, put him back inside the prison.

I would slap C! Quackity (and give him the more efficient way of getting the book) and hug CC! Quackity.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT THIS CHARACTER?

I love how ballsy this guy is. He is like, "Ah yes, I will now torture my husband's former best friend because if he finds out he will totally not be pissed! This is a great idea :]".

He honestly made me laugh when he was torturing Dream. Is this because I am very tolerant to dark jokes? Yes. Do I care what you think, you normie? No.

But, anyway, I love how far he's willing to take things. He tortures people, makes a casino (probably with overpriced food), and eats someone's fucking heart.

I hate this guy, but I love this guy.

IF YOU WERE TO ASK THIS CHARACTER ANYTHING, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK?

I would ask, "Why?". Just, why. Depending on his answer, I will raise/lower the strength of the punting of his face.

Yeah, that's it! Pretty long, huh? Yeeee I've been working on this since 5/10. Well, I'll see you guys next post. Stay fluffy!

DAILY SONG RECOMMENDATION:

[ezraeuropium]

SAINT BERNARD [𝙴𝙿𝙸𝚂𝙾𝙳𝙴 𝙾𝙽𝙴 — ❝𝙷𝙰𝚆𝙺𝚂❞] (one-shot series)

ACCESS MASTERLIST [HERE] 

note before you read; this is basically a compilation series of one-shots that i’ll write. some requests will be from wattpad as well as here. there will be no one-shot that end up into two-shots, etc (those will be posted outside of this series). requests are open [0/10] slot are currently taken up (meaning there open), so feel free to request a character. i do have a list of prompts on my profile if you cannot think of any. i also write in second person / gender neutral reader to include everyone! enjoy!

word count: 2001 warnings: hawks commits cannibalism. 

[NAME] MARRIED AN IDIOT.

it became crystal clear as they stood on the street, watching their husband bounce up and down in undeniable excitement. the two were supposed to be patrolling through their assigned district, but hawks had become distracted by one thing — chicken nuggets. one of the men that lived in the area had a different meat every day of the week, and today had been chicken nugget day.

and hawks insisted to stop.

usually [NAME] avoided going on patrol with hawks. it proved to be distracting and a liability. however, this was the rare chance that they were ever assigned the same area as their husband — they could count how many times they patrolled with one hand.

"hawks," [NAME] stressed, their eyebrow twitching in slight annoyance. "we're supposed to be working!"

their husband turned to them with a playful pout, and a mischievous look dancing in his eyes. "oh, it's just a few minutes, sweetheart!"

"it's cannibalism," they retorted, crossing their arms over their chest. "you're eating a fellow bird, and people need help." one thing [NAME] was not going to do was fall into the man's charm. "or maybe the chickens need help since it seems that's all you seem to eat."

hawks grinned, "one, it's not cannibalism unless you make it cannibalism. two, you diet does not only consist of chicken— you're on it." the blond-haired man sent a went their way.

[NAME] tried not to gang. years ago, his ridiculous flirting might have worked on them, but now it was so common it was disgusting (even though sometimes hawks had his moments). now, however, was not a good moment for their husband to reference their sex life. any other time would have been fine, but they were on the clock, and [NAME] was ready to drag the man away from the shitty meat stand. hawks could get chicken nuggets from wacdonald's on the way back home.

"i'm making it cannibalism," they pushed once more. "come on. i'm tired and do not want to deal with your childish bullshit right now."

to anyone else, this might have seemed harsh. hawks had known [NAME] since middle school, however, and knew that they were a serious person, at least when it came to work. if work wasn't in the way, [NAME] easily reminded hawks of one particular yuuei student — kaminari denki. hawks knew that his lover was one of the biggest idiots he knew, maybe more so than himself. [NAME] had — somehow — managed to light a banana on fire during breakfast one morning, and claimed that it was magic (same person did not have a fire quirk). it was easy for hawks not to take most of what his lover said to heart. he was glad that they were at least serious about being a hero.

"go work then," hawks smiled, bumping his hip playfully against theirs. "you don't need to babysit me."

[EYE COLOR] eyes stared at hawks for a solid minute before a hum of acknowledgment left [NAME]. it was true, they didn't have to babysit hawks, but rather, they didn't want to leave him for their own well-being. having an offensive quirk was not something they were lucky to have. instead, [NAME] had a defensive quirk and they worked better when paired off with someone. the quirk was called hack. it allowed [NAME] to worm themselves into anything electronic. they could see every security camera in the city with the blink of their eyes, or rather, messing with the wavelengths that they could see in the air. bigger cities in japan always held a lot of wavelengths, and luckily for [NAME], they managed to successfully prevent having a headache with activating their quirk and seeing the instant flash of different color wavelengths. it did make them sick to the stomach after a while of activation.  

"don't get distracted," [NAME] reminded their husband. they leaned forward, giving the man a rare — for work — kiss on the cheek. hawks sent them a blistering white smile, and [NAME] could remember being weak for it when they were both scouted for personal hero educations. times had been hard then, especially when [NAME] started becoming interested in things that shouldn't have been important. romance was one thing they shouldn't have been focused on, and it wasn't. at least, not until they read some american woman's magazine and it sparked curiosity in their mind. it was a day of instant regret and resolution.

turning away from hawks, [NAME] made their way down the street, watching as the world around them moved in peace. peace was such a fragile word, especially when chaos could erupt at any second, or if one's mind wondered to what was happened else where in the world, then things were never at peace. the false ideology made them force a smile on their face, or at least while they were doing work. all might did things with a smile, so that was what [NAME] was going to do.

there was a small cry, and [NAME] turned their head to look for the sound. a frown was on staining their [SKIN COLOR] face, and they made their way towards the noise; the cries grew louder with every step. children were something that [NAME] did not specialize in, even if they dealt with children on a regular basis. children were so small and easy to damage, and the fear of seeing one hurt never sat well with them. so, seeing a small child sitting in the corner of a street, tucked in a ball with a pair of elegant white wings protecting them, made [NAME] worried.

walking up to the child, the pro-hero knelt down beside the kid. [NAME] put a soft, comforting smile on their face before they spoke up, careful not to scare the child. "hey, sweetie. i'm the pro-hero anon," they introduced. the child startled slightly, peaking her head out from the wings, staring at [NAME] with watery eyes. "do you know where your guardian is?" the hero pushed gently. [NAME] was careful not to say parents. there were several children who's parents have passed or abandoned them, and it was easier to use guardian as it didn't hold tight bonds, but enough so the child was in the care of another.

"nah. . . no," the smaller girl mumbled. "mama was with me, but. . . but now she's not!"

[NAME] gave a nodding of understanding. it was common for children to be separated from their guardians — sad to say. bigger cities meant bigger population, which caused a bit of discord on the streets that never seemed to stop moving. "well, how about we go find her? i'm sure she's looking for you too! you're her little angel after all, yeah?"

"mama calls me that! how'd you know!" the girl said, brightening up. [NAME] nearly laughed, amused. children were easily distracted, but the pro-hero was just glad to have the girl to stop crying. if there had been any more tears, well, [NAME] wouldn't have known what to do. as a child, [NAME] had been a bit of an overly sensitive child, but somehow, learning to care for others and their own tears was lost.

"it was a lucky guess!" really, it would have been a surprise if no one say the girl as a tiny angel. she had small wings that would grow as she did. her hair was in bouncy brown curls, and her eyes were glistening with a wet universe. the girl would breathtaking when she was older, and [NAME] wondered what greatness was in store for the small girl.

[NAME] opened up their arms for the girl to come to them. it would be easier to walk around holding the child, especially since the child would spot her mother easily if she was in [NAME]'s arms. the girl hesitated for a moment, and the pro-hero was about to put their arms down. they weren't going to make the child uncomfortable. [NAME] might have been a hero, but to the child, they were nothing but a stranger. however, the child had founder herself in the pro-hero's arms. carefully, [NAME] stood up, adjusting the tiny angel to their hip.

"can you see?"

"mhm! you're tall like mama!" so, the child's mom was tall, that helped a little bit. the woman would be around [NAME]'s height, if the child indicated a hint towards her mother's height, even if it was unintentional.

[NAME] looked through the crowd of people, before their gaze fell on the girl. "what does mama look like?"

the girl's nose scrunched up. "she's really, really pretty! she's got blond hair like a pom pom! and, and she had big black wings! mama said i got uncle's wings! they're big and white too!"

that. . . that made things a lot more easier than [NAME] thought. the large black wings helped clue her in. there weren't many people who had bird like quirks. [NAME] had only know hawks and tokoyami to have one, but that was personally. besides that, it was always people in passing, and there weren't a lot.

"wow, you're mama sounds amazing! just like you!" [NAME] cooed, their [EYE COLOR] orbs scanning the crowd. their teeth nibbled on their lower lip, before a small sequel escaped the child. "anon! anon! there's mama! she's with a man with wings, but their red! i want red wings!"

[NAME] turned around and snorted. there was a small panicked look on hawks face, but that was because the girl's mom look like since was in hysterics, which was not funny. they weaved their way through the people, [NAME] making sure to have a good grip on the girl.

"um, ma'am! is this your daughter?" the pro-hero exclaimed as they closed in on hawks and the woman. [NAME] didn't bother to take note of the to-go box in hawks hand, which was no doubt filled with chicken nuggets.

the woman let out a cry of relief. "yes! oh, adami, my little angel!"

the girl wiggled in [NAME]'s arms, and they didn't waste a moment by handing the child to her mother. the woman looked toward's name with a glossy eyed smile and thanked them. [NAME] simply waved it off, saying it was only natural that they'd help.

hawks watched the interaction for a moment before silently moving on with his lover. "i didn't know you were so good with kids."

[NAME] let out a laugh, rolling their eyes. they pulled their phone out checking the time. they had enough time to go clock out, even if hawks wasted part of this shift on chicken nuggets. "i'm not any good with them."

"so, you don't want any?"

there was a pregnant pause, and [NAME] looked at their husband. "do you?"

hawks gave a shrug, a small smile on his face. "i wouldn't mind one."

[NAME] frowned. there was one thing they couldn't do and that was produced a child. they were infertile and deleted all options of even having a child with their dna in it. "you know i can't, even if i wouldn't mind."

"[NAME]. . . we can always adopt, and it doesn't have to be now. it can be in a week, a year, or even a decade, or never. i'll stand by your choice."

their throat felt dry, and they reached to hold hawks hand. "keigo — I want to have a family, but — soon, i promise." hawks — no, keigo — leaned over and kissed his lover on the forehead, and [NAME] knew they had all the time in the world, and the ring on their finger was enough to prove that. if only keigo would stop eating his own species that is.

[mlm-writer]

Is Homelander a Psychopath?

Even the fandom page calls Homelander sociopathic (mostly synonymous with psychopathic in the medical sense), but is he really? In this way too long meta-post I use the Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised to put Homelander’s psychopathy score on a scale from 0 to 40. Welcome to my TedTalk.  

Disclaimer

I am not authorised to diagnose anyone with anything. I am not a professional. See the end of the post for my sources on psychopathy. My main source is the book The Psychopath Whisperer by Dr Kent Kiehl. Also this is how I see Homelander based on the show The Boys, so I do not take the comics into account. Lastly, the fandom page also uses the word ‘psychotic’, which refers to psychosis, not psychopathy.

Glibness/superficial charm 

Ok yes, definitely. Homelander knows how to entertain a crowd. His whole persona is based on nationalism. He has that charming smile down, has this ‘you are the real heroes’ thing going on. Superficial charm is a big check in the present and given that Homelander apparently has been doing it for years, I say it was in the past also a big check. Psychopaths also tend to talk so much that people can not deeply analyse all that they say and then only remember the ‘good points’ the psychopath made. Homelander does this well in interview scenes and you often see him interrupting other people. On a three-point scale from 0 to 2, I’d give him 2 points. 

Grandiose sense of self-worth

Also called narcissism and it is so obvious in Homelander. The thing is that narcissists usually don’t think they are the best, but they feel like they deserve to be treated like they are the best. Actually, narcissists commonly base their entire self-worth on the feedback they get from other people. Without that they get aggressive and start blaming others for their own short-comings. Sounds familiar? The big question is if this had been the case for Homelander’s entire life. His narcissistic behaviour could’ve developed under the limelight. Still he deserves 2 points.  

Need for stimulation 

This is where I start to question Homelander being a psychopath. Psychopaths are very prone to boredom, so they usually cannot keep one job for long. They tend to travel around. Homelander has worked for Vought for years and it is not that much of an exciting job. It involves a lot of interviews that all seems similar. Photoshoots are not exactly peak entertainment either. Reshooting scenes for his movies? Psychopaths with this trait also tend to do drugs and drink a lot to get that stimulation, but Homelander is seen drinking champagne at a social gathering and a whiskey or two in front of the TV at most as far as I can remember. He really scores 0 on this part. 

Pathological lying

Yes, Homelander lies a lot, but it is not pathological. Pathological liars will lie for no reason at all and are unfazed when they are caught in a lie. Homelander can go to extreme measures to keep his lies standing. His whole good guy act is a lie, but he protects it. Not only is he trying to protect his lies, but he also lies with reason. Pathological liars will lie about things that can be fact-checked with a single Google search. Homelander is not like that. He scores once again 0. 

Manipulation 

And back to classic psychopathic behaviour, the manipulation. Not to be weird, but Homelander does it so well. He got the population wrapped around his red-gloved fingers. He knows where to push people. He plays into people’s weaknesses and desire. How to get control of his floor? Simple, recommend to hire someone he can control. Those meetings starting from season one? Perfect for his manipulative mind-games, establish control. The way he played Ryan? Genius! Homelander’s ability to manipulate people is honestly impressive, 2 points. 

Lack of Remorse or Guilt

I think this is one of the iconic Homelander traits. How he could just let a plane full of people die? How he could just murder people? The lack of any remorse for killing that innocent person when he stopped that ‘terrorist’? Iconic. I don’t recommend it, but wow it is such a good trait for his character. I just wonder if this is a recent trait or something he already had. It is also possible that he got a lot of collateral damage from the start and got desensitised to it over time. Madelyn Stillwell loved to say ‘we fix it’ and ‘I’m just trying to protect you’. Imagine accidentally killing people over time and everyone around you keeps telling you ‘oh it’s no big deal’, at some point you might just believe it. Giving him a 2 for this, but I also think Vought is to blame. 

Shallow Affect 

Basically psychopaths generally don’t give a fuck. Whereas normal inmates tend to feel depressed when they start their prison life, psychopaths are completely indifferent. They often see it as a mild inconvenience at best. Psychopaths don’t care. Homelander, on the other hand, may not care about people, but he really cares about some things. He cares deeply about his reputation to the point he would ask for help from Stormfront. Knowing how prideful Homelander is, him asking for help is big. When he found out Stormfront lied? He cared a lot. He cares about ‘owning’ Maeve enough that he would go out of his way to kill someone. And Ryan? Oh Ryan… Homelander did not care about Ryan, but he really cared about having someone on his level. Homelander is a very lonely boy and he cares a lot about not being lonely. Not really shallow if you ask me. 0 points. 

Lack of Empathy 

This is oddly enough questionable in Homelander. Like I said before, he could kill without remorse. He could manipulate without guilt. BUT he understands people. The full-on, full-point psychopath does not understand that a mother would worry about her child when they are out late. Homelander does understand how people feel. How else would he keep his public opinion high? He could understand why people feel fear or pride or love. That requires a certain level of empathy. Becca’s threat: “I will kill myself in front of Ryan and tell him your father did this to me.” Someone without empathy could not see how that would affect Ryan. Homelander understood what that would do to Ryan and he understood that complying would increase his chances with his son. Someone without empathy would never understand that. He also could tell when Ryan was uncomfortable. He could give Ryan space when he thought Ryan needed it. He told Ryan a personal story when he thought that his personal experience was similar to Ryan’s. I don’t know if the story is true, but the fact that he could play into Ryan’s feelings like that shows empathy.  Homelander is not empathetic, but he also has no complete lack of it, 1 point. 

Parasitic Lifestyle

Psychopaths often ‘burrow’ money, life off others, don’t keep jobs and don’t buy their own things. They leech off others, because they couldn’t be bothered to obtain things themselves. I don’t really see this in Homelander. He takes a lot of initiative. That whole creating super-terrorists? That was a lot of effort and he was the leader of that operation. Sure he let others do the hard work, but he still planned it all out FOR MADELYN. It was no personal gain thing. Homelander scores 0 on this if you ask me. 

Poor Behavioural Controls

I want to say yes, but that one scene with the crowd where he thought of lasering them all down, but didn’t? That’s behavioural control. You often see him wanting to hit someone and then stop himself. A psychopath would just lash out, because they can’t think of the consequences. Homelander can think of the consequences and keeps himself in check, because of what might happen when he goes through with his impulses. He showed control when he wanted to kill Starlight where she stood, but then he didn’t. Homelander does lash out at times, but his eyes glow and yet he doesn’t laser someone to death. That’s self-control. Still, I am giving him one point for throwing bratty tantrums like a toddler. 

Promiscuous Sexual Behaviour

Ok his kinks were weird, but while Madelyn was alive, he did not seem to have sex with anyone else. Some goes with Stormfront. He always has one bed partner. What he gets up to with them is not my problem, but important to note is that he shows loyalty to one person. 0 points. 

Lack of Realistic Long-Term Goals

Ok his long-term goals are fucked up, but he does have them. Creating super-terrorists was such a fucking long project. He could see himself in Stormfront’s ideal of a super-army. He planned how to get Ryan from the start. Homelander does more planning than me. Whether his goals were realistic… Well… He succeeded in two of the three things and definitely had the tools for the super-army. So I say they were realistic for him, 0 points. 

Impulsivity 

Yes and no. He sometimes acts on impulse, but like I said he shows self-control and the ability to plan. However, he does not always think things completely through like that speech at the expo or taking down that plane after that dude found out about compound V. Almost drowning Hughie in front of other people? Impulsive. Going to that rally? Impulsive too. I give him one point on this one. 

Irresponsibility 

Seeing Homelander with his son, yes he can be responsible. He doesn’t leave Ryan somewhere unsupervised. He also tried to protect and help Madelyn. He shows a sense of responsibility towards being the face of Vought and towards being ‘Madelyn’s golden boy’. He does not take responsibility for everything he should, but he shows that he is not completely incapable of taking responsibility, one point. 

Failure to accept responsibility 

Not sure how this exactly differs from the previous one, but as far as i can tell, the previous one is a general feeling of responsibility and this refers to individual actions. Homelander does have a general feeling of responsibility, but when things go south, he does not take any responsibility. Becca was not his fault, he just raped her. That plane going down was not his fault, even though he fried the controls. That innocent person in the video dying was not his fault either. Blah blah blah. According to him, it’s never his fault, but those of the people that are in the way or those that ‘test him’, two points. 

Many Short-term Marital Relationships 

Nope, not Homelander. He is said to have had a relationship with Maeve and later he is with Stormfront. He also had this weird thing going on with Madelyn, BUT he never married any of them. Psychopaths have the tendency to just marry someone out of impulse. Homelander is even picky about who he fucks, 0 points. 

Criminal Versatility

Human trafficking, homicide, mass murder, feeding the population lies, assault, rape, supplying terrorists of compound V, yeah I’d say he is pretty versatile, 2 points. 

Conclusion

Due to lack of information or it simply not being applicable to Homelander, I omitted 3 factors (juvenile delinquency, early behavioural problems and revocation of conditional release). I did some reverse math on how omitted scores were handled in The Psychopath Whisperer and I came up with the following formula: score * (1 + amount of omitted items * 0.04) and then rounded up to one decimal point. This gives Homelander a score of 18.0. The cut-off for psychopathy is a score of 30 in the US and 25 in the UK. The average citizen scores around 5, while the average criminal scores around 22. So as unhinged as this bastard is, Homelander is per my analysis not a psychopath. He is just a cunt. Thanks for reading this. 

Sources

Kiehl, K. A. (2015). The Psychopath Whisperer (1st edition). London, Great Britain: Oneworld Publications.

Neumann, C. S., & Hare, R. D. (2008). Psychopathic traits in a large community sample: Links to violence, alcohol use, and intelligence. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 76(5), 893–899. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006x.76.5.893

Kiehl, K. A. (2006). A cognitive neuroscience perspective on psychopathy: Evidence for paralimbic system dysfunction. Psychiatry Research, 142(2–3), 107–128. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2005.09.013

[flowerfan2]

Group Texts Are Ridiculous (Or, Five-0 Starts a Group Text)

McDanno, T, A03

Summary:  After Steve leaves Oahu to go find himself, Five-0 starts a group text to keep in touch while Steve’s away.  Picks up after the end of Season 10.

Notes:  This story is set in the present, following 10x22, but there’s no COVID in it.  I wanted it to be fun.  The story is complete and will be posted over the next few weeks.  Many thanks as always to my awesome beta, @perryavenue. And apologies in advance for any formatting errors on tumblr, I spent forever fixing it up for A03 and it probably won’t translate easily at this point!

Chapter 1

April 2, 2020

Group message:  Tani Rey, Junior Reigns, Lou Grover

TR:  You guys going over to Steve’s to say goodbye tomorrow?

 JR:  Yeah.  Still think we should have a party.

 LG:  The man’s had two parties and a lunch already – how many send offs does he need?

 JR:  I don’t know, he didn’t seem to like them very much.  Maybe he needs a better one.  With just us.

 TR:  He’ll be fine.  Plus, there’s not really any time left.

 JR:  What about tonight?  He’s not coming in today, right?

 TR:  He’s got plans, Junes.

 JR:  He does?  I thought he said he had work to do around the house?  We could bring pizza and beer, help him out.

 LG:  He’s got plans with Danny.

 JR:  Danny won’t mind the help – he’d be happier supervising, anyway.

 TR:  Lou, what are we going to do with him?

 LG:  No idea.  Nothing’s worked so far.

 JR:  Are you guys talking about me?  That’s not very cool.  At least fill me in.

 TR:  Sweet Junes, if you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m not sure we can help.

 LG:  But bring that beer over to my place tonight, and I’ll do my best.

 TR:  I’ll bring chips.

  April 3, 2020

 JR:  Okay now I feel really bummed out.  Why did Steve leave Danny down on the beach like that?  We should have had a party.

 TR:  Chill, Junes, he’ll be ok.  He’s just sad.

 JR:  Do you mean Danny or Steve?

 LG:  Yes.

 JR:  But Steve is the one who decided to leave, he shouldn’t be sad – I don’t get it.

 LG:  It’s not a straightforward situation.

 TR:  Good one, Lou.

 JR:  I feel like I’m still missing something.

 TR:  Wouldn’t be the first time.

 JR:  Hey, should we add Adam to the text?  Because he’s standing over there petting Eddie and it feels kind of awkward that we’re all texting.

 TR:  Sure, Adam is definitely sort of not really barely on Five 0 these days… why not add Jerry while you’re at it?

 JR:  Okay.

 LG:  I think Tani was joking.  But we should add Danny and Steve, it’ll give us an easy way to keep in touch while Steve’s away.

 TR:  You think it’ll work?

 LG:  Look at that sad boy down there on the beach.  It couldn’t hurt.

 TR:  Sounds good.

 JR: …so should I add Adam or not?

  April 5, 2020

 JR has changed the name of the group text to Keeping in Touch with Commander McGarrett

 JR:  How’s your trip so far, Commander?

 SM:  No need to be so formal, Junior.  And good, thanks.  Ran into an old friend.

 TR:  Wow, so we’re going to start with that, are we?  You know Danny’s in the chat, right?

 DW:  How do you think Chin knew Steve’s flight info?

 TR:  Wait, so the old friend was Chin?

 SM:  Yeah, Catherine was surprised, too.  She thought I was going to Tahoe with her.  Not sure where she got that idea.

 DW:  Careful what you say, there are kids present.

 SM:  I didn’t say anything bad.

 DW:  You were thinking it.

 LG:  Not to change the subject or anything, but how are Abby and Sara doing?

 SM:  They’re great.  Sara’s adorable.  Smart as a whip, too.  

 DW:  You gonna stay in San Fran a while?

 SM:  Yeah, a week or two.  See the sights.  I hear they have some great Italian restaurants.

 DW:  Now you’re just being mean.

 SM:  Nothing could rival your lasagna, Danny.

 DW:  Aw, you’re forgiven.

 SM:  Anyway, thanks for giving Chin the heads up that I was coming, Danny.

 DW:  No problem.  Had to make sure you weren’t going to immediately start free climbing rock faces or something.  Need to at least let the jet lag settle.

 LG:  Say hi to the Kelly clan for me, will you?

 SM:  Of course.  Gotta go, Abby and Sara want to take me to Alcatraz.

 DW:  By boat, right?

 SM:  Danno, people swim away from Alcatraz, not to it.

 DW:  Leave it to you to start a new trend.

  <b>April 24, 2020</b>

 <i>JR has changed the name of the group text to</i> <b>Keeping in Touch with Steve</b>

 SM:  Hey, just want to let you guys know that I’m going to be out of contact for a while.

 DW:  As opposed to the past few days, when you answered approximately 5% of my texts?

 LG:  You headed out into the woods?

 SM:  Desert, but yeah.  Gonna do some camping.

 DW:  Maybe you’ll see a bear.  Beat some sense into you.

 JR:  Are there bears in the desert?

 TR:  No, but there are snakes.  And spiders. Be careful, those things can be vicious.

 DW:  Yeah, careful is his middle name.

 JR:  What’s Danny so mad about?

 TR:  Not the time, Junes.

 DW:  I’m not mad, I just know how he is.  He’s probably hoping to see some snakes.  Maybe shoot a rattler, cook one over his campfire.

 SM:  I have no intention of shooting anything, I’m just going camping.

 DW:  Since when is going anywhere without shooting something fun for you?

 SM:  I’m not exactly here to have fun.

 TR:  Um, Steve, you okay?

 SM:  Signing off.  Talk to you guys later.  Give Eddie a hug for me, I miss that big guy.

  April 25, 2020

 TR:  Junes, you awake?

 JR:  Yes, are you?

 JR:  That was a joke, I know you’re awake, you texted me first.

 JR:  This is just a text between us, right?

 TR:  Yeah, it’s just us.  Lou and I are done with the stake-out, we handed it off to HPD.  Lou’s driving me home.

 JR:  Did you talk to him about Danny and Steve?  Danny seemed pissed in the group text.  What’s going on?  

 TR:  I tried, but if Lou knows what’s going on, he’s being unusually tight lipped.

 JR:  I wish Danny was back at work.  It’s weird with both him and McGarrett not there.

 TR:  He’s got at least another two weeks until his ribs heal enough to get cleared to return to active duty, at least that’s what he told me yesterday.

 JR:  Can’t he come back to headquarters, though?  I would have thought he’d want to come back, especially with him being in charge now.

 TR:  Temporarily in charge.

 JR:  Yeah, whatever.  Didn’t really sound like that when the governor stopped by, did it?

 TR:  I don’t know, Junior, I really don’t.  But Danny doesn’t really seem eager to get back to work.  Maybe he’s had it with us.

 JR:  With Five-0?  You think he’s gonna do the restaurant thing again?

 TR:  No, that was a disaster.

 JR:  Well, I hope Danny comes back to Five-0.  Otherwise Adam might think he’s got a permanent spot.

 TR:  You really don’t like Adam much, do you?

 JR:  I don’t know, he seems to have an explanation for everything.  But I don’t trust him.  Not like Steve and Danny.

 TR:  I miss them too.  But Danny’s around anytime you want to talk to him.  He whispered in my ear for two hours yesterday when I was questioning that record store owner who tried his hand at money laundering.

 JR:  But Steve’s been pretty out of touch.

 TR:  I think that was the idea of his trip.  It’s definitely going to be a long summer.

 JR:  You think Steve won’t be back until fall?

 TR:  That’s my bet.  September, refreshed and ready to go.  But I really don’t have a clue.  What do you think?

 JR:  Sooner than September, that’s ages, Tani.  Why does he need to be away so long?

 TR:  You’d have to ask him.

 JR:  Tani?

 TR:  Yeah?

 JR:  One more thing… I think we forgot to put Quinn in the text group.

 TR:  Shit.

 May 4, 2020

 LG:  Grace has got skills, Danny.  She’s beating Steve at his own game!

 TR:  Um, what are you talking about, Lou?

 LG:  Steve and Grace went surfing in L.A.  Big waves, too.  Didn’t you see the pics on Facebook?

 DW:  You’re showing your age, Lou.  Facebook is for old people.

 LG:  Grace posted on it, she’s not old.

 DW:  She only puts pics on there when she wants her parents and grandparents to see them.  They’re carefully curated.

 TR:  Why am I not Facebook friends with Grace?  I feel left out.

 JR:  Ditto.

 DW:  You should both feel free to friend her.  I’m sure she’d friend you back.

 TR:  I’ll look for her insta instead.  Probably get better stuff.

 LG:  Do you even know Grace?

 TR:  Rude.

 JR:  Ditto again.

 DW:  That’s the same thing.

 JR:  No, I’m actually saying ditto for the second time.

 LG:  This group text is more ridiculous than Grace’s sanitized Facebook page.  

 TR:  At least if Steve’s surfing we know he made it out of the desert.

 LG:  On a horse with no name.

 DW:  Now you really sound old.

 TR:  Dad joke alert.

 LG:  What’s wrong with dad jokes?  I am a dad, after all.  I’m quite proud of being a dad.  I deserve to make dad jokes.

 TR:  Try making better ones, at least.

 LG:  Danny, you’re a proud dad.  Back me up here.

 DW:  Proud, yes.  As uncool as you, no.  

 TR:  Settle down, you’re both old and uncool, no need to get worked up about it.

 DW:  Fine.  This old guy is staring at some very nice looking steaks, and was planning on lighting the grill soon.  Assuming you’re still willing to eat my food despite my advanced age.

 JR:  Tani and I are getting in the car now, we’ll stop for beer on the way. Jerry said he was coming, too, and bringing fruit salad with no pineapple, just for you.

 DW:  Yet another reason I like Jerry.  And did you guys talk to Quinn and apologize for not including her in the group text?

 TR:  I did, and she actually seemed relieved not to have to deal with us all outside of work.

 DW:  Seriously?

 TR:  No, of course not.  I already added her.  She’s on now.

 QL:  Hi guys.  Danny, thanks for inviting me.  I’m bringing margaritas and guac.

 DW:  See, already glad you’re in the chat.  Sorry Tani forgot you.

 TR:  I did not forget Quinn!  

 LG:  Tani has been suitably repentant, Danny, don’t worry.  And do put my name on two of those steaks - Renee made her special chocolate cake with mocha buttercream.  We’ll be there soon.

 DW:  Does your wife think I’m dying or something?  She only makes that cake when someone’s sick.

 TR has changed the name of the group text to Chocolate Cake For the Detective’s Soul

 TR:  Maybe she thinks it’ll make your ribs heal faster, so you can come back to work and make sure Lou doesn’t do anything stupid.

 DW:  Tani, not for nothing, but it’s not Lou I’m worried about.

 TR:  That building wasn’t that tall.  I landed in the pool, and apprehended the suspect on the way down.

 DW:  I rest my case.