#wouldn't you hate him too?
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To Gavin haters: how do y'all feel now that AI generated stuff is taking over the Internet? Still don't see why he hated Androids?
#like i get it connor is bbgurl and all#and uwu and cute#but if you were in Gavin's situation#wouldn't you hate him too?#dbh#dbh meta#gavin#connor#gavin reed
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mmm throwaway conversation between Dan and Danny that popped into my head that I had to write out:
"You spent ten years being a one-man mass extinction event, then went back in time and fought me, and lost." Danny snarls, arms crossed and throat tight. His mouth pulls back to bare dagger-sharp teeth, and his eyes burn with the familiar thrum of ectoplasm heating up behind his eyes. "If I didn't believe you were half of Vlad before, I do now."
His other self -- and really, can he even call him that? He's half of Vlad too. Two halves severed from each other and welded together to make a new whole, -- snaps his head over to him. Wild-eyed and furious, he looks unlike the man Danny fought before, the one unruffled and untouched, unbothered by the world around him. It's familiar, but not like the way a reflection is.
"What's that supposed to mean." The Other hisses, matching Danny's scowl one-for-one with fangs much bigger and sharper than his.
But there's a reason lions fear hyenas. Danny matches the rumble in The Other's chest with one of his own, and shoves his face close to his. "I don't lose."
#danny fenton#danny phantom#dp prompt#danny phantom prompt#dan phantom#dark danny#not meant for any particular au i just had the idea of danny going 'wow you can tell you're half of vlad' to dan and when questioned abt it#he says; 'if you were REALLY only me you wouldn't have lost' which is fucking BASED as hell. and also technically true#thought process for danny here was 'hates dan's fucking GUTS bc he tried to kill his family and friends without remorse and would actively#rip out his throat without a moment's notice.' some fr 'im going to beat you to death with my bare hands!' vibes rn.#not totally in character for danny but also i was thinking that it got to this point bc dan was goading danny about 'being his future self'#when that's not technically true. he's half of vlad too he just has danny's face and powers. and he pissed off danny enough that he#retaliated. just not in the way dan expected. dan was expecting a physical attack not a verbal one.#danny called him a loser in more ways than one.#also the reason danny never calls him 'dan' in this is because i was thinking that danny doesn't actually *have* a name to call him. bc he'#certainly not danny. but he's not vlad either. he's someone else entirely. so 'The Other' it is.#danny fenton is not the ghost king#<- down here because while its still MY DP post its not DPXDC so it doesnt need to be front and center for people to see it.
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When you find out years later that you accidentally named one of your henchmen
Image ID: A multi-panel comic featuring au sanses. Panel 1: In Killer's original universe. A dark figure stands in the foreground while Killer is sitting back in the snow, covered in blood. Killer says "wh-what are you?" Panel 2: The dark figure is Nightmare but only his smile is visible. He says "I am Nightmare, guardian of all negativity in the multiverse ...and I have a proposition for you, Sans." Panel 3: Nightmare's hand is outstreched, he says "Come with me willingly and I'll take you out of this desolate and barren universe and let you loose on many others." Panel 4: Killer is looking back at Nightmare warily, a thought bubble shows he is thinking "other universes...?". He says "...in exchange for what? What do you want with me?" Panel 5: Nightmare's tentacles are reaching out towards Killer. He says "I feed off the fear and misery and hatred in this world, stirring these up will keep me powerful enough to fight against the guardian of positivity. In short," Panel 6: Nightmare is looming over Killer now, his tentacles surrounding him. He says "I just need you to be a good little killer." The word killer is in red text. Panel 7: Killer is grasping Nightmare's hand, having accepted his offer. Panel 8: Now in a different au, Nightmare stands beside Killer as he taunts Dream, who is out of frame. He says "You're outnumbered now Dream, I have a killer with me this time." The word killer is in red text again. Panel 9: Dream is lying on the ground looking hurt and ruffed up. Killer is standing in the background, looking ready to continue beating Dream up. Nightmare says from out of frame "You should know better than to turn your back on a killer by now." The word killer is in red text again. Panel 10: Nightmare is standing by Killer again, looking smug. He says to Dream, who is not shown "You'll need more than that pathetic bow next time you meet with my killer here." The word killer is in red text again. Killer is looking towards Nightmare, pleased with this. Panel 11: We are now in Nightmare's castle, present day. It is revealed to be Killer telling these events to Dust, who looks bored. Killer says "-and the name stuck, so that's why I'm called Killer now." Dust says very quietly "did I ask" Panel 12: Nightmare is standing in the corner behind them, he looks very surprised and concerned after hearing all this. Text with an arrow pointing to him reads "Didn't realise he had done this." Killer from out of frame says "he doesn't really call me his killer anymore tho" with a frowny face. Dust, also out of frame, says "that's nice now shut up" End ID.
#UTDR#UTMV#My Art#Truce au#Killer Sans#Nightmare Sans#Remember when I said I wouldn't have that comic done? Sike I finished it earlier#Anyway you ever accidentally name a guy and don't realise until years later when he brings it up#Killer loves it because he feels special for getting his own name that's not just his au#(and also because he wants to be Nightmare's favourite and this is his evidence)#Nightmare hates this. He did NOT mean to name his henchman like a pet he feels awful#Maybe down the road Dream can convince him how much Killer loves it and he'll let it go#Killer absolutely hates being called sans he doesn't want to think about his old life#So the new job and name were kind of just what he needed at the start#Anyway I'm rambling. I just thought it was interesting Killer was one of the few to not be named for his au#And given the name it might be something Nightmare had a hand in#He also helped him find his signature look with the inverted clothes colours but we'll get to that another time this is already too long
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It's kinda crazy when you think about how Ming Yi is basically the less ghastly version of He Xuan. And he was there by Shi Qingxuan's side for centuries, and yet Shi Wudu never found out. He never recognized him.
Imagine being in He Xuan's shoes - like this guy pretty much ruined his life and is indirectly responsible for the deaths of everybody who was dear to him. Shi Wudu rarely descends. But on the eve of Hanlu, he went down to check if he really died or not. He Xuan remembered his face. It probably haunted him during his times at Mt Tonglu, but when he finally meets this person, there is nothing on his face, no shock or horror.
He forgot him, forgot the face of the boy whose life he ruined.
He never bothered to remember. As if he never had a life.
It kind of reminds me of this scene from a manga called Yona of the Dawn. The protagonist is a princess who's on the run. She had lived a sheltered life and was trying her best to adjust to her new life. One day, she had to hunt a fawn for food, and one of her friends asked her if she would be okay with watching it, and she replied that she isn't. It's still hard for her. But she said that in the palace, thousands of animals were slaughtered every day to feed the royal family, and she never paid attention to it. But now, if she averts her eyes, it would be like refusing to acknowledge that the poor creature had a life.
Shi Wudu ruined his life for the sake of his brother, but let alone remorse, he even forgot what he looked like. He was there by his brother's side for centuries, and yet it never struck him, not until the moment his survival was on the line. If he was guilty, would it have changed anything? Would it bring He Xuan's family and the life he lost back? No, but at least it would ensure that his life meant something, anything.
And even after he recognizes him, his first reaction still is not guilt, not remorse. But a question, "You're alive?", perhaps an indirect way of saying, 'did I make a mistake that day?' Or 'did I fail to clear such an important evidence of my crime?'
The person whose life and afterlife is a consequence of his crime, the first thing he says to him is that.
"Noble people really are forgetful'', and He Xuan really meant it. He experienced it himself. For centuries.
#i hope this doesn't sound like a hate post#i love shi wudu#and i love he xuan too#which is why i feel surprised when people hate him for taking his revenge#would YOU spare a person who wronged you and had the audacity to forget how you even looked like? if yes then you're great#but majority wouldn't#it feels nasty from his point of view#shi wudu's response to 'have you no remorse?' is cool and everything#but if u think about it in this regard#if shi wudu was actually remorseful#if he was actually guilty#if he looked at him carefully that day#if he remembered his face#perhaps the tragedy with Shi Qingxuan wouldn't have happened#maybe the black water arc would've proceeded differently#some things could've been averted#the world has a way of getting back at you regardless of who you are#he xuan#shi wudu#black water sinking ships#black water arc#heaven official's blessing#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#my rambles
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People being convinced that "Too Sweet" by Hozier is a love song is like the "Anything But" situation all over again
#my brother in christ#too sweet#is him not only rejecting you but breaking up with you#anything but#is him just straight up telling you that he hates you#and that he wouldn't touch you even with a 10m pole#TO YOUR FACE!!#hozier#unreal unearth#unheard ep
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Luffy not knowing about Zoro promising Sanji to kill him if he ever ends up losing himself makes me go feral because that's something they can only know about. Because Zoro's respect for life and death goes beyond anything, and Sanji knows he understands. Sanji knows that if somebody has to kill him, it's him.
And I don't even think it's because Sanji assumes Zoro's opinion of him is hatred and it would hurt less for him to do this, but because Sanji knows only Zoro would be able to treat the promise as it is. Because he would put Sanji's wishes before any feelings he has for him. It's not that Zoro doesn't care, but I think he respects people's ideals and decisions to the extent of being able to kill Sanji if he so desires.
That being said, he'd do it if there's no other way to fix it. If it's either dying or living as an emotionless machine, which is the same as dying for Sanji, Zoro would fulfill his promise. And there is just... Something about Luffy not knowing. Their captain. The man they're devoted to the most as if he were their God. Luffy doesn't know. It's something only the captain's wings are aware of and the thought of these two keeping this from Luffy until the end is just insane. Not even trying to make it romantic here, but the bond and respect these two have for each other is crazy.
Maybe it's the poetry of it all, too. Somebody like Zoro, who has looked at Death in her face multiple times and said "no", ending Sanji's life, who wants to give in to death to not experience a fate worse than death for him.
#bean posting zosan this is so rare and weird don't get used to it sweeties#kind of tired of people jumping to extremes with these two btw like-#they don't hate each others but they're also not best friends-- respect is something they value even more than those things#they're not good for my mental health they make me go insane#this wasn't meant to be in a shippy way but idk if you wanna see it as romantic you do you bc it could def be#it depends on my mood#i consider myself a zosan shippers on random days#you could also say sanji thinks zoro doesn't give a fuck about him and that's why he tells him bc we know this guy's self-worth is awful#but i also like to think it's because zoro's views on life and death are exactly what sanji needs#luffy would try to look for a way to fix this and they others wouldn't be able to do it tbh#i mean if it ever got too serious i think luffy could do it but do you really think sanji's gonna make him go through that#if zoro has to die he wants to die by luffy's hand but if sanji has to die he wants to die without involving their captain#idk if that makes sense okay i haven't slept at all tbf#one piece#black leg sanji#roronoa zoro#zosan
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All: TRICK OR TREAT!
vampire marty as a late halloween treat :]
#bttf#back to the future#bttf fanart#marty mcfly#halloween#every day can be halloween if you try hard enough ;)#tbh i think marty would be the guy to only half-ass his costume#he wouldn't have the energy to go all out like the drawing suggests. he is however definitely the kind to keep trick or treating#even when all his classmates have decided they're too old/cool to do that#he probably likes seeing all the costumes everyone else in town comes up with too#hey free candy's free candy. putting his short stature to good use to blend in haha#he would go out of his way to avoid seeing any faces from school tho#probably went to a halloween party once and hated it#doc leaves a “please take one” bucket outside of his garage. no one takes anything LMAO#either no one takes any from his house or a singular asshole steals the whole bucket#doc doesn't need to dress up the kids are scared of him on a regular basis anyways#perpetual mad scientist costume#when marty's done he goes to doc's place and they watch a movie :]#kit does an art#kit yap session#<- for the tags
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So, even though I don't agree with Albus' ideas and decisions most of the time.
I don't think I have ever agreed with anyone about anything more...
I mean-
Like... I understand you, Albus.
I totally do.
#I definitely do not blame you Albus#I wouldn't have been able to hate him too#how can you hate a man that looks like that#It's not fair#grindeldore#jamie campbell bower#albus dumbledore#fantastic beasts#the secrets of dumbledore#mads mikkelsen
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Jimmy killing himself because he knows he is incapable of living an life without Curly and knows that in the miracle chance they were found and saved they would not let him have contact with Curly and he hates the idea he'd actually have to take responsibility.
Even if he lied, its only a matter of time before Curly is capable of showing or telling what a monster he really is, no matter what delusions tell Jimmy Curly would never do that to him.
He understands that he was the monster in everyone's worse moments but refused to accept that at the end. So he made sure that he died without the possibility of it being actualized as he's the only one that saw death as an escape rather than a release. Jimmy truly didn't believe Curly had anything to escape from even after everything and let him have what he perceived as glory as the sole survivor and thus Captain of the Tulpar.
#like he goes from knowing the the system in place ergo Curly will protect him from consequence even if unitentionally at first which#motivates him to take the measures he does but when that system also loses the ability to effectively stop him he drags the corpse around#like a memento of what he's achieved that slowly warps into a worship as he realizes how much it actually did and that even he struggles#without it cause i believe in light of the crash that the thought of losing Curly's unwavering support because he'd eventually protect Anya#over him when Curly's head was yanked from the clouds at either the baby's birth or just the way he was slowly putting things together as#the big picture became less appealing to look at like Curly was slowly realizing it and i think he knew at the crash scene but it was too#late if he stopped Jimmy or the crash their relationship would've forever been changed by the revalation and part of me wants like a dlc#spin off that deals with some psychological metaphorical horror dealing with that but also like I need jimmy dead.#then again none of this is new or even unique ive seen this explained but i also dont think its addressed that Jimmy's refusal to take#responsibility with Anya avoiding it A N D his envious codependency of Curly made him crash the Tulpar as there was not a way he could fix#the what he did to Anya in his mind without getting rid of her and or the pregnancy in a way that Curly wouldn't leave him and thats so#important like he only viewed Anya through his relationship with Curly and hed rather die than acknowledge her as a person and his assult#on her as something that could realistically get in the way of their relationship and taking advantage of it.#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#jimmy mouthwashing#i hate talking about this dick fuck but he also is like being fascinated by a venomous spider like stay away but i will study you
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currently really enjoying how in every interview eric bogosian brings up his personal little headcanon of daniel and armand getting drunk together after louis leaves them which then somehow leads to daniel being turned
#i doubt that's how the show will frame it but i would enjoy it nonetheless#give me armand and daniel drunk off their asses as armand slowly spirals further into his grief over having lost louis#i feel like show daniel at this moment in time hates armand too much to relax and have a drink with him but it would be fun to see#daniel after 5 martini's: so what if you would like bite me right now wouldn't that be crazy lol#interview with the vampire#iwtv#eric bogosian#daniel molloy#armand
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I find it super ironic that Cyclonus has this highly romanticized, propagandic view of the Decepticons, because like:
This is him 🔽
And this is also him 🔽
Dude you yourself was a member of the ruling elite of the old order. Even if what you said about the Decepticons were all true, you're a big part of why people needed to be emancipated in the first place.
He was part of Nova Prime's inner cadre during a time when bigotry and oppression was even more predominant. Nova. who's literally the founder of functionism, which flourished and peaked under the so-called Golden Age of his rule. And Galvatron's... Galvatron, I don't even want to talk about him everyone knows what he's like. But Cyclonus was somehow fine with being yes-man to both?
The way he spoke about the Decepticons, it sounded as if he's this super dedicated sjw filled with righteous passion about stuff like liberation and revolution and emancipation and 'the people', when in truth it's shown that he'd never cared about any of those things before that point.
Nova Prime's ideology was literally this:
And Cyclonus didn't have a problem with it during his entire life before the Ark, compared to more decent people like Dai Atlas and Omega Supreme who eventually clashed with their group and got kicked off the Ark b/c they couldn't stand Nova and co.'s lack of a bottom line and misuse of the word freedom.
As a matter of fact Cyclonus still believed in Nova Prime after he became Nemesis - not that he was much of a better person as Nova. Where's his sense of justice against corruption? Nova got turned into a literal demon, surely it's hard to get more corrupted than that. But his only complaint wasn't about what Nova/Nemesis was trying to do, it's about the process being too much of a damn ordeal.
He's super excited over the anticipation of murder and has no scruples whatsoever about killing non-combatants. The same thing happened again at Kimia.
He finally grew enough of a conscience to break off from Galvatron in the end but notice his wording. It's not 'you forced me to hurt people', it's 'you forced me to hurt Cybertron'. He even said Cybertron twice for emphasis.
It's not mind control, he just thinks like that. The guy's obsessed with Cybertron - with what Cybertron once was. The Cybertron he lived in. Nova Prime's Cybertron. The Golden Age. He's shown to repeatedly lament over it in his internal monologues.
It's all about the loss of his 'perfect world.' The infrastructure. the scenery. the Tetrahexian real estate lmao. How about let's feel some sadness for the billions of Cybertronians who once lived on it? When did he ever spare a thought for all the people who died?
The Decepticons worked so hard to destroy this. It's a gilded carcass rotting from the inside. It eats people alive. The rot was already there in his own time. He was complacent in putting it there. But he only had eyes for the beauty and nolstalgia.
In the first panel he lauded the Decepticons for wanting radical change. Well he himself seemed to be dead set against change judging by the way he kept wanting things to go back the way they were 8 million years ago.
Back in the Golden Age he would not have looked twice at a bot like Tailgate. He was part of the people who didn't give a shit about the disappearance of one waste disposal bot. He still wouldn't have given a shit if circumstances hadn't forced them together over and over again.
Looks to me he's enarmored with the grandness of the concepts of liberation and revolution and emancipation for 'the people' in the Decepticons' (theoretical) ideology. The concepts of fighting against corruption and bringing down the old order. Just like how he bought into the concepts of Nova's 'spreading freedom to the galaxy' and the glittering prosperity of the 'Golden Age.' Does he know that the Decepticon ideology is a twisted lie built on terror and massacres and genocide and despotism? Does he know that Nova's idea of spreading freedom and enlightenment is galactical conquest and his beloved Golden Age is built upon a foundation of misery and suffering and systematic subjugation? Of course he knows he's not stupid. He's nose-deep in it, it's virtually impossible not to. But he's able to willfully ignore those ugly truths as well as his role in them by only engaging in shallow romanticism through rose-coloured lens and refusing to delve deeper.
It's either that or imperalist mindset and the endorsement of violence and casual murder resonates hard.
#on one hand Cyclonus would have made the perfect decepticon#he's got the hypocrisy down really well#moral standards align too#but he wouldn't be able to stand them after a while. and they wouldn't be able to stand him#their views about the past are fundamentally different. like class different#let's not forget the fanatic religion. the decepticons hate religion. being religious is enough to get the DJD sicced on you#and taking religion to the extremes is what legitimized functionism in the first place#he's someone who's REALLY good at ignoring thing he doesn't like and brainwashing himself into thinking they don't exist#idw transformers#transformers#mtmte#maccadam#Cyclonus
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the fact that it's literally canon jason is a huge side eyer when he's grumpy, tired or moody 😭
#bro JUDGES and was such a mood actually#he side eyed HARD when piper and leo were bickering i think in tlh#y'all were hating on him for that too like 'he was so judgy about leo in the beginning'#respectfully who wouldn't if they woke up w memory loss and some rando started talking to you like you were besties#he was weirded out about holding hands w piper too and let go immediately so it's not like it was a biased reaction#pjo#pjo fandom#percy jackson#pjo series#jason grace#pjo hoo#pjo hoo toa#piper mclean#leo valdez
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“white mourning.”
#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’#jean is a very easy character to hate if you know nothing about him. & you know what they say. easy target doesn’t make for a good practice#judit literally compares harry to intellectually disabled man yet you don’t see ppl hating her because she is outwardly nice.#she’s polite yes but she doesn’t care as much as jean cares for harry#he is not perfect. he is mean. but loyal. if he truly didn't care he wouldn't hab come back to martinaise & coulda just reported harry’s as#he put up with du bois’ bullshit for years and built a toxic (totally straight) relationship with him yet always comes back.#he says he will leave you in the village to die but please understand harry isn't exactly a great person. especially pre-bender hdb.#planned a make up joke & put on a wig for hdb even tho he wasn’t the who started the whole fiasco#you can hate him all you want for leaving harry before & during tribunal but how could he have foreseen all this bullshit would have happen#his second leaving is kinda bullshit writing but#jv is dealing with his own demons too. clinical depression. partner almost died. job is shit. case spiraling out control#i do not blame the DE staff either. sometimes shit just happens. not everything needs a grand explanation.#but it definitely coulda been handled better. but i understand. resources were sparse.#i relate to jv. as someone with temper issues & attention problems i have to remove myself from the scene or i'll say shit i'd regret late#my man is having the worst week of his life. leave him alone.#kim is great but have u heard of a man who thinks he's old when he is only 30 & luvs horses & his commie boyfriend that he's divorcin' soon#disco elysium#de fanart#jean vicquemare#disco elysium fanart#jean heron vicquemare#jean posting#illustration#de#artists on tumblr#I WANTED TO DRAW THIS FOR MONTHSSS YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE. HE LITERALLY HAUNTED ME IN MY SLEEP!!!#i love him normal amount. very healthy. much feelings#my little maiu maiu#cryptiduni#my art
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something very horrifying about the concept of Thor but not Loki being told that Loki is Jotun when the brothers are old enough to understand the importance of the secret
#so he gets to watch Loki be unfavoured or try to do things and HE KNOWS WHY#but Thor can't SAY anything about it bc he's not supposed to#and Thor obviously has no way to reconcile that Loki is Jotun which means Jotun can't possibly be plain monsters#so Thor and Loki both keep badmouthing the frost giants#Thor gets to watch Loki hate on the frost giants while knowing Loki is one and idk something about that doesn't sit right with him#Thor basically gets to watch Loki fail at things and to Thor it's like 'oh yeah of course he's not as good or doesn't fit in'#he gets to watch and learn bad war stories and that's just how they learn about how horrible the Jotnar are#and i think occasionally Thor would stop to really process that fact#but most of the time Thor is just like. yeah that's a thing but it's not like it matters#even tho Loki being Jotun totally IS an important thing#he's just used to ignoring that it's not since he'd been told pretty far back#and it was apparently never relevant to their parents to inform Loki so *shrug*#ALSO ALSO Loki finding out so long after and being devastated and ''they told you of my parentage did they not?''#but make it Thor 1#make it happen when Loki goes to Earth to visit Thor too hjsvfdsh#Loki: I have reason to believe I'm not related to any of you by blood.#Thor: uh well that'd be a little hard wouldn't it#Loki finds out that Thor knew he was adopted/Jotun before him too#lets get that breakdown moving along
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new content bucky is a Daddy and no one can change my mind i don't even wanT TO HEAR IT
#the pudge? the gray? the bob/slicked back?#the motorcycle?#the suits?#you're telling me that in a world where steve left (i hate it) bucky wouldn't throw himself into a provider relationship?#cling to any scraps of it?#long to have a sense of purpose with someone that is worthy of protecting for GOOD?#please#he's the Daddy that stays your Daddy no matter how often he comes and goes#it doesn't matter that you don't know what he does for work#it doesn't matter that he shows up into your life unannounced and leaves just as unpredictably#it doesn't matter that you have flings/see other people#he's always your Daddy#ALWAYS#anyway...#i haven't been on tiktok in a while archie have you made insane tiktoks of him yet my queen of edits#(also i don't want to hear the argument of bucky not wanting to be connected to anything/anyone because of his fears and his past)#(that's too saddddddd let me have this Daddy Bucky)
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oh nuts. a life experience has given me a new layer of perspective on Cas's homosexual declaration of love to Dean.
recently I had occasion to tell a person I had feelings for them knowing full well they didn't feel even a twinge of the same thing for me. while the whole thing was a decidedly unpleasant experience, I kept laughing at myself internally bc I didn't want to say "the happiness is just in saying it" like fucking Castiel over here. (we don't need to talk about it, it's fine.) (I am happier having said it and it's kind of bullshit, but I digress.)
because the thing is, the happiness isn't in just saying it, right? the happiness is in the having. I made a whole TikTok "proving" that the Empty didn't come for Cas when he confessed his love, but rather when he realized Dean loved him back. even for Cas, the happiness was in the having, not in the saying, however brief it was.
and I've always been one of those people who rolled their eyes at the whole concept. why would the happiness be in just being, in just saying it, if it's right there in front of you to have. and then it hit me like a tonne of bricks (as I was washing my kitchen counters).
Cas really didn't think he could have Dean.
at all. in any capacity. he really, truly, and honestly felt to the depths of himself that Dean did not have any twinge of similar feelings, that this really was a Hail Mary shot-in-the-dark. and I think me, personally, really didn't understand that about Cas. that his belief in his love being unrequited was that unshakable.
something else I've been pondering is how audiences have so much more empathy for fictional characters who share traits that IRL they find objectionable and unappealing. but the thing is about fictional characters is that we follow them around in their most private, vulnerable moments. we see Dean mourning Cas when he dies, literally killing himself because he can't live without him, but it's so easy to forget that we're the omniscient ones here.
Cas never knew.
Dean's whole thing was pushing him away, keeping him at arm's length, making it seem like whatever heroic thing he does for Cas he'd do for anyone. he downplays how important it is for Dean to share the Deancave with him, to show him his favourite movies, share his favourite songs. he acts like the things Cas does for him don't mean that much to hide how much they do mean. he uses "we" whenever he even gets in the vicinity of expressing a feeling. "We were worried." "We're glad you're back." "We needed a win." "You're our brother." The audience knew the difference. We saw how he'd clench his jaw or swallow hard or make a face that said "God, I'm being such an idiot". Because we saw him in those little moments. We got to see the cracks in the mask.
but Cas never knew.
the self-hating angel of Thursday was never going to think it was all a way for Dean to protect himself. obviously, that's the delicious tragedy of it all, but what I think I realized at the end of all that is Cas confessing his love to a Dean who didn't love him back wouldn't have worked. Because the happiness really is in the having. If happiness was just in saying it, then The Empty would have come before Cas even finished getting the words out of his mouth.
so Cas's plan wouldn't have worked if Dean didn't love him back.
this is just me yapping on about my own nonsense, but I do think it's really interesting. there's contentment in "just saying it". there's freedom and relief and an unburdening. I think one can argue that it makes being happy in the being easier. there is certainly some joy in telling a person you think that highly of them. but true happiness?
nah.
true happiness is always going to only be in the having. Cas didn't understand the difference until he experienced it, and by then, it was too late.
#beautiful and poignant messages in the 2005 CW cult classic dark fantasy show supernatural that they did by accident#like they literally showed how wrong cas was to believe that happiness ISN'T in the having aaaand qed dean loved him back#spn meta#destiel meta#castiel meta#mine.txt#destiel#supernatural meta#spn#supernatural#meta#messy thoughts#lol sorry for the tmi but i needed the lead up okay#i'm fine i knew#i was very much cas in this situation no hope of any other outcome#only he was wrong lmao#I think the way Cas scrunches up his face after Dean's 'don't do this Cas' is almost like that bittersweet regret.#that 'oh. if only we had known this sooner. if only it wasn't too late now.'#AND IT'S A LOT YOU GUYS#i do wonder if cas wouldn't made a different plan with different information#personally i don't think he'd've gone out like that if he understood that dean loved him too#like he saw the love in his eyes. but part of me thinks it was relief that this didn't make dean hate him.#but sometimes it's just bad writing and we can't ascribe conscious thought to an out of character decision lol#but i think after everything cas would've fought for the thing he never thought he could have#which is why in my fix it fic wip that i'll finish someday cas is like okay well. gotta get outta here now and kiss my mute coconut lol#i love them so much
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