#wouldn't work because that's just who max is as a person. proves nothing

[widowshill]

max de winter’s card. he got a bingo but just barely.

he hit all the important ones <3

[f0point5]

Danny would be the obvious choice for 2nd RB seat if Checo is out. Mostly because he had time to get his mental state to the right space, and after the hell in McLaren he would be happy to be home.

Him and Max have a great chemistry (we all know it wasn't like that at the beginning but they both grew up now and matured... at least I hope so), and in my opinion Daniel would be just happy to be driving that fast car again, maybe get a few more wins, and then walk away with head raised high because he did a good job.

And even though we can probably expect Max dominating in the upcoming seasons as well, Daniel seems to me like someone who - even if he was in a fight for podiums or maybe even championship - with Max, would not let himself to be pulled again in some hate and despite-filled situation. Max literally adores him, and their chemistry is on another level from Max&Checo's.

Don't get me wrong, Daniel is a great driver. Can be a very dangerous driver as an opponent. But RB would not potentially sign him if they wouldn't feel the potential of their former duo working once again.

And even though I feel sorry for Checo, because probably neither of us can imagine what a pressure is right now on his shoulders, he proved that his mentality is not the strongest. Being kicked out of McLaren, then from Racing Point, it would be nothing new, and it makes me feel gutted for him because he is really trying. But once again, Daniel's mentality seems to be in a much better place now, and he would probably deal with that huge amount of stress in a better way.

For me, Daniel is a no brainer of a choice. He has said himself, he is driving for pure love of being in the car, not because he feels the need to achieve certain things. He wants it, but he doesn’t need it. That is a very freeing mentality. It means when he gets in the car every week he’s not thinking of anything but driving as fast as he can, not necessarily beating 19 other cars. That’s a mentally settled person.

Daniel knows he made a mistake leaving Red Bull, and I think he’s grateful they’ve brought him back into the fold, and he’d love the chance to drive a Red Bull again. He wouldn’t mess that up by trying (and no doubt failing) to rattle Max. I see him very much ready to enjoy the competition, but okay the team game and be there to scoop up wins when Max isn’t able to for some reason. And because he would be doing that enthusiastically, his mental state wouldn’t suffer so much from the comparisons.

I do feel bad for Checo because he clearly wants to be there, but his performance isn’t cutting it. If was able to operate at the very top of his game for all 22 races he would still be second to Max. That must eat him. That can’t be fun. But he just can’t get his head around that enough to accept it and until he does, he’s going to continue tarnishing his legacy. If he wants to stay in the sport post Red Bull he should go back to a midfield team where he occasionally out drives the car to a great result. Or retire. He’s got a whole life outside of F1 and enough money, maybe it’s time to go enjoy that.

[crystalelemental]

Unit Teambuilding - Mix Red

I debated whether I even wanted to do this one. If I'm being honest, I really struggle with this. When I do these teambuilding things, I like to at least run by the structure of "how does this perform on an F2P budget," giving at least one team that's all F2P aligned allies to showcase how it holds up. This is true for the limited pairs especially, since I personally consider nothing to be worse than a limited pair requiring another limited pair to perform.

Joke's on me though! DeNA has absolutely created worse, by introducing the concept of hey, what if the only way to get a pair was to pay for it, and you still had to roll the dice? Also what if it was Red, my personal most hated character in the series now? And what if, just hypothetically, we made him with Venusaur, and then gave him identical tools to SS Leaf so he's effectively better in every way? What if that?

General Overview So I'll talk about him, but I'm not teambuilding. Because truth be told? No one should pull on this. And keep in mind, I'm one of those that was Variety Neutral. I don't love those, but if they're a favorite or they had something interesting going on you wanted, sure, go for it. EX colors were never that important to me. I think the outrage around Variety Scouts was at least somewhat overblown.

This, though? People honestly aren't mad enough. If this game had a robust competitive or co-op mode, I can promise you, this would be the thing that killed the game. Because now you have to pay to keep up at all.

Fortunately, Masters is making many a questionable financial move, but is not, as of yet, requiring anything. It's aggressive monetization, no one can question that, but it's not like Mix Red is a necessity. Or, to be brutally honest, even all that good. Yes, he has some very nice debuff tools, including both offenses (randomly) and -2 AoE Sp Def per Buddy move. Yes, he gets his baby cheat skill to always crit and never miss. Yes, he gets Grassy Terrain on his Max Move (they didn't even do GMax because they know how bad Damage Field sucks) and his first sync, thanks to being a Field pair.

He also has worse Sp Atk than Piers. Granted, Archie proved ages ago you can work around such limitations with the right tools, so mild complaint. The bigger issue is that his Buddy Move is conditional on Grassy Terrain, and he only gets two activations. And if you want to debuff Sp Def quickly for a sync, you're popping Max Move right away. Terrain ends roughly after second sync, and is gone forever. I expected Red to be overblown given his presence, to the point I fully anticipated these Mix pairs being a response to the Ultimate Battles they're going to pump out. But this? This barely keeps up with Gauntlet, much less the endurance contest Anabel is shaping up to be.

So if he's not that next level powercreep answer to the new hardest content...what is he? A Grassy Terrain support, and a Grass-type damage dealer. Well great news, chucklenuggets! Adaman's still top dog, and physical still dominates the Grass meta! Your own single-target damage is base 180; good but not exceptional. And that shrivels up to Razor Leaf once your Terrain dies. So you're hardly breaking new ground as a Grass damage dealer. There's an argument for him being the Special counter part to SS Acerola. It's a bad one, but it's there. But there is no competing against SS Lyra with this guy. Her utilities massively eclipse his own thanks to guaranteed flinch.

For a pair that is exclusively paid for, who has no new costume and no unique EX, this is...bizarre. It's not bad, but I wouldn't consider it the best pull of the month. I don't even consider it top three. In fact, I'd probably say all the PokeFairs are better than this guy. Yes, even you, Elaine. At least you have supreme Gauntlet potential. Red just feels really, really weird. You'd expect a paid-only pair to be game-breaking, but...he's just kinda regular good-ish.

And I think I know why. It's the 300 scout point thing, isn't it? They honest to god think that 300 scout points is being too generous, on a paid-only scout. They earnestly believe that cutting the scout points is a level of "accessible" significant enough to hold back on this pair that costs the equivalent of like $200. That "easier to pity" is enough to hold back, despite how much is demanded for it. Let this be a lesson to you, friends, about what this game truly is. This is gacha. Anything that isn't maximum exploitation is to be considered an act of supreme generosity, and comes with them taking something away in turn. Nothing is free, and they hate you for having money that isn't going to them. Don't fucking pull this Red.

[the-firebird69]

2:29

Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson in The Bucket List (2007)

IMDb

Jan 11, 2008

He's right too these idiots are going to be gone soon and your name came out mack Daddy as an idiot. His family gave him what he needed to survive with just not money and then they kept it from him because they're insane now you're doing it and you're in that case okay you expect us not to react and would tell you ahead of time what we're going to do to you and holy s*** are you mean this kid is alone he's a brilliant inventor it doesn't invent for you you just sitting here grilling him cuz you're a f****** loser. We're putting a hit on you we don't have any more words you just a stupid person it doesn't want to live like this idiots now sit here and squaller you got to sit someone else's call her and have to deal with people you can't deal with don't listen to you ever and the leader that does not do what you want ever. Her son is requesting Ben Arnold put Mac Daddy on trial because he's sitting there screaming the truth and stuff telling everybody what's going on blaming our son just like this idiot Trump I'm tired of him being absolutely poor and people rubbing it in like this idiot Mac you're a f****** moron the hatred and anger is already and maximum we're going to get rid of you cuz you're a threat to his life too you just keep proving it Jesus Christ you stupid it means you're Jesus Christ back you dumb retard you're a retard too you should be exterminated honestly. And that was Olympus poking in a lot of them and this movie is where Max dies because his cheap pastors honest the goodness if I had money I'd be going around to me ridiculously meaningless stuff. So he's turned into one of these guys and has to have me involved in world War III whatever cheesecake that guy is.

Zues Hera

I can't handle this anymore you people are already smoked or something the empire is run by Max and you and your family are hardly ever at the meetings and never really doing anything. By % you're like 25% of the ship captains and you're not leaders anymore you don't tell people what to do in battle. You're keeping money from him and you're messing with him like you're one of these idiots and we're not having to do it and you're tarnishing our image and I want you out you need to leave he says this idiot is going to fight the other idiot stan they're both mean morons and they're probably knock each other out and we'll take over. I tried to take over for a long time I'll tell you what you're sitting there being mean to him and doing nothing else is it obscene show we're not letting you you're influence all these idiots to do the stupid s*** cuz you're the man and you're going to fight these idiots

Ben Arnold

Maybe he orchestrated to take over cuz you're taunting them the whole time and I heard him being taunted and maybe he's done a lot of stuff that keeps money from me but you people are physically in the way like these idiots it's like a faction of people called do nothing and you're with these people that you're slaughtering expecting things to work it's insanity and your enemies stand it's right there and you're picking on me when you have people and arms legs who want you dead more than a lot of other stuff. And I can't even get you to do something as owner of the laundromat you can't keep anybody out at all then harasses me and it's a game all on me they're coming here to harass me for what they have an army up their ass have to go there to you to take your stuff cuz they don't care if they're in fighting they're a bunch of losers so Ben Arnold's defeated you doesn't mean that I should sit here pain and it's a clan got me money they will probably wouldn't be dead or captured you're not you're not going to provide a useless service I can't have you around me who put it that way if you turn into an animal it's just like ruiing my day all the time like these jackasses was it really what it seems. Well he's trying to stop these idiots and Tommy f it seems like you're probably a problem cuz you have all these funky formulas and I hear it all the time jackass s*** I'll have these people do this and these people do that and I told you the effect of what you're doing is a laundromat is stupid and you didn't get it still he's trying to get me stuff and you're in the way I can ask about that

Zues Hera

Ben Arnold is doing it too and he wants to be the winner so we can get stuff here and I'll tell you what if he could get stuff here anyway so you won't it's turn into this ridiculous s*** that you really still and what do you say is you're so afraid of me that I can't have 100 extra dollars a month without you having a f****** conniption like a little spastic baby who has SIDS or something I mean you're freaking lips that's what we noticing something they're huge wimps the time for this s***'s over and you won't stop at all he doesn't want to be treated like a whipping boy or a dog and he's going to prove it says I don't have to invent anything for you dumb assholes who will pay me a dime or allow me at my own money this s*** has to be weak enough I should be able to get something and who cares they're coming in and attacking you and shooting you and you'd rather die and get shot and I noticed that too they get me a thing it's f****** stupid. And we noticed that too you'd rather get shot and get him some money so you can get shot. We're gearing up for war with these people and the max too they don't want you to have anything and they're impressive society with their stupid shield it's not over our areas but it's over major cities we can't have that tommy f is attacking them. It's kind of hilarious he has money he's not focusing on this and he's focusing on it and he's Amy at you too cuz you're the enemy and he can detect it and we're his friends and family and coworkers and bosses and we work for him too and we got to tell you something you people have to go what's coming out of him is I can't get a time here from anybody or a penny and just sit there and condescend about stupid s*** so I'm going to go after you it says you probably can't handle losing all the businesses and it's never going to be the same and he's the one who responsible for all that loss she turned this s*** head on here joel watts new about a****** down below. Ben Arnold is upset that you told him all our business we are too cuz you think you're holding against them like Trump says cuz he's a retard. When you left the laundry mat yesterday you're going to come back as a sheriff to arrest our son and he knew it he just told you to f*** off you started your spew we don't need you around man you don't hold anything up means you're not really threatening anything you're just like these people now then Arnold is right you're 25% of the fleet and our son is and you're that portion that's going to fight stan over stuff cuz you need more stuff because of ben Arnold. Her son says he thinks you die in this movie fully and you used to help him back then then you became useless like his family and Ken knows about it he almost became massively useless this life is very pitiful but her son coming up there and hanging out is like this highlight and her son doesn't care if you're talking or not he likes to talk about current events we talking about what's happening for real stuff and making fun of people in the house updating him on the status and your health care extravaganza. He doesn't need you to be Frankie with Pena but it needs you to have somebody so he can get out of this hole he doesn't want to live like a popper this is disgusting these people are disgustingly stupid we're not going to overlook them because they're sitting here forcing a sudden they have nothing in themselves they're so stupid we're taking over businesses and we're going to start to redouble our efforts to take over the world because we can see that these crap we're going to start taking over Australia too we have a stronger presence there if Christ's sake I could probably get rid of everyone and nobody would know it I'm going to look into that

Freya

Olympus

He's right too in this movie and you care about and stuff but hey bud you know you make these deals with this idiot and he gets you killed because he's not smart and you go to New Mexico and Jason just kind of sending and should be cuz you wrecked his race not only his clan and his people unnecessarily is your part of your extravagant plan for everybody and we can't afford it anymore and you're an a****** and you don't control the fleet and you're going out. So you lose power lose your fleet finally our son starts to get stuff and it's because you die. And he wants us to put your head in the bag and we're going to do that you want to take his pennies we're going to use it against you

[internetgremlin-writes]

91&93 for carlos!

91 - "Don't go on that date," "Why?" "You know why," "Say it,"

93 - "Say you want me and I'm yours,"

Right I've made you all wait long enough but it's time to pull the best boy out. I hope you like Spanish, angsty, intense Carlos because I most definitely do <3.

He was sulking.

He knew it was obvious, but he just couldn't bring himself to care. So what if the media made jokes about him and his facial expressions? Right now he felt like a joke anyway.

"Hey," he rolled his eyes at you, which was bad. You were the exception to everything when it came to Carlos, the only person aside from maybe Lando who could pull him back to himself when he got like this. But right now even the sight of you was annoying him. He was sitting in his driver's room, the trophy and the now-empty magnum of champagne at his feet.

"P2 is amazing," you speak gently, tapping his knee as you sit beside him. He thinks this is the first time in his life that your touch hasn't ignited butterflies in his stomach. "In Monaco, too," he didn't care where it was, he was sick of silver.

"Last year, it was good,"

"Don't start," you warned him. He knew he was pushing his luck, you were only there to support him. You shouldn't even be there, your navy and white Alpha Tauri polo clashing against the bright red of his new life. Part of him hated that you never jumped PR teams to stay close to him. But why did you need to? He was nothing more than a colleague you got on well with, you'd worked so well together all those years ago, but it was just a job. A work friend, but the kind you send a Christmas card to.

"It's embarrassing," he couldn't look at you when he spoke. His stomach was twisting and he hated himself for it. Jealousy was an ugly emotion. Anger and bitterness and living in a world of what-ifs were also ugly, and Carlos did his best to constantly avoid them. He liked it when he was the cool guy, the calm guy, the guy who let nothing bother him. The Smooth Operator. He hadn't felt like that in nearly a year.

He managed to look at you then, and his chest tightened along with his stomach. You had those big doe eyes, eyebrows pulled together and mouth drawn down in what he really hoped wasn't pity as he finally saw you. He knew what he looked like, his brown eyes would have that wild look about them and his jaw was set, pushing his lips out into even more of a pout. He sighed, the look on your face making him crack just a fraction.

"I just wanna win," those four words had been haunting him. Since McLaren really, when he finally broke away from Max's shadow of his incredible rookie year. And now it was his second year in Ferrari and sure, he'd had a good share of podiums, and yes this year they were coming in thick and fast and things were looking great. But he just couldn't seem to win. Every time he got close, like today, something happened. He was usually okay with making mistakes, everybody cracks under pressure, and accidents happen. But when it wasn't his fault, like when he lost the lead due to a lapped car, it felt personal.

And then there was Charles, who was that bit better in the new car than him. He couldn't compete with the speed, he couldn't balance the car as well, and he didn't have the urge to beat Max into submission like his teammate did. Everyone at Ferrari had branded him as the less competitive driver since the moment he signed that contract.

Your voice pulled him back down to earth. He'd been zoning out a lot lately.

"I know,"

"Don't say it," he pleaded. Because he was sick of hearing it. Everybody told him 'your time will come', but the only thing he had in response was 'but when?' You patted him on the shoulder, your touch sparking a little bit of warmth when you squeezed.

"I wouldn't dare,"

That made him smile because it reminded him that there was always someone in his corner. Someone who didn't care about his mistakes, who didn't need or want him to prove anything more. Someone who was proud of him for everything he'd achieved, who wasn't still waiting to see what he might do. You knew him, for him. You knew Carlos the way he liked people to know him, the way he let so few people actually know him.

Even your presence in the room was making him feel more like himself. He leant to the side to gently knock your shoulder, before sitting up a little straighter and running a hand through his hair, taking advantage of the sweat still clinging to it to push it out of his eyes. He didn't care how many times he was asked to, he would never cut his hair.

You pulled him into a hug, even though he was still sweaty from the race. Your touch made him melt, your small arms wrapped around his waist felt better than anything else. Carlos allowed himself a second to drop his chin onto the top of his head and inhale your scent. You pulled away first, of course you did. For a second you stayed close, your arms still around his waist as you looked up into his eyes and Carlos felt his breath hitch in his throat because god, it would have made so much sense to kiss you right then. But he didn't, because you didn't want that. You didn't want him like that. You were friends. He had to remind himself every time he saw you.

But it didn't mean he couldn't push his luck. And technically, the party was at least in part for him. Plus, technically, you worked for Red Bull, to which the other two podium holders belonged.

"Are you coming to the after-party tonight?" He tried to sound casual, busying himself with sorting through an already-folded pile of polo shirts as he spoke. You didn't reply, and your silence spoke volumes. Carlos felt his heart sink once more as he turned to you, trying to keep the pain out of his features. He was cool, he was casual, he didn't care if a friend couldn't come to his party. He didn't even really want to be at the party.

You looked strange. Were you uncomfortable? You kept shifting your weight and you wouldn't meet his eye. You looked, and shit his stomach churned because you looked guilty.

"Um, actually I can't make it tonight," oh. Oh. You had plans. That was okay, you were allowed plans. But it didn't feel okay and if Carlos had been sulking before he was all but having an internal tantrum now because he didn't give a shit about the party, not if you weren't going to be there.

"Why?" He was asking you before he could stop himself. He didn't want to intrude, he didn't want to force you to say it but there was a sick voice in the back of his head that just had to know.

"I, um, I'm going on a date,"

A date.

The word hung like a bullet in the air. Carlos' mind was racing, and for once he couldn't find the words in English or Spanish. He nodded, eyes trained on the floor because he couldn't bring himself to look at you. Not without imagining the guy taking you out, and that made him sick. You made an excuse about being expected back with your own team and went to leave. But it didn't feel right. It was too formal, too final. Suddenly, Carlos was stricken by a sickening thought. If you went out with this guy, if you dated him, this would be the last time he saw you like this. He didn't even know if he'd get to see you alone again.

It was sheer selfishness that made him call out to you to stop.

He knew he had those big pleading eyes, and hell, he wasn't above using them. If he had to get on his knees and beg for you in that moment he would have without question.

"Don't go on that date," you were staring at him like he was speaking a foreign language and for a split second, he thought he'd spoken in Spanish. You didn't move, your expression not changing as your crossed your arms and stood in his doorway.

"Why?" Shit. Did you want him to say it? Really? He hadn't expected you to just jump into his arms but he didn't think you'd want to drag a confession out of him.

"You know why," the desperation in his tone made him sick. He'd never been like this with anyone before. But you - you were something else. He was kicking himself that it took you telling him you had plans with someone else to say something. You'd softened your expression, your face morphing back to that sorry look you'd had earlier. Great, so you were pitying him again. You dropped your arms, and the next words from you were barely a whisper. If Carlos wasn't so incredibly tuned into you he would have missed it.

"Say it,"

"I want you," it didn't matter anyway. And you deserved to know. "Every day, all the time. I want you,"

"Oh," it was more a rush of air than a word. But Carlos was on a roll and he didn't care. Why not pour fuel on the fire? He'd ruined the friendship already.

"You want me to say it? Fine. I will. I want you. All you ever have to do is say you want me, and I'm yours," He was panting. You were staring at him like he was a stranger. He could see your mind turning, and as desperate and as frightened as he was he respected it. You hadn't come here for a confession. He waited as your eyes scanned the entire room, and then him, and then your feet.

"I need to go and cancel my date,"

Carlos had never heard words so sweet.

[linawritesocs]

minnie's voicelines + lesson chats!

still working on everyone's voicelines and chats! hayden is next, hehe 👀👀 i'm also thinking of making seth's voicelines and chats, even though he's my mc.. i just think it would be cute and idk what content i can make for him rn 😭😭 and about minnie's role in twst: i think she would be like seth's sidekick in a way (she would never call herself that though)? look at my boy, he's got a cat AND a cute mouse girl as sidekicks >:D and it sure is fun to imagine him as mc/player character when i'm writing voicelines

[ minnie's voicelines ]

if you choose to hold her hand (tutorial):

"seriously, how can you be so irresponsible? hurry up, i don't want to know what that guy in a raven mask will do to us if we're late."

level up:

"i don't have any magic powers, but at least i have my brains and that already makes me better than some nrc students."

"i didn't expect you to know so much about this topic. now that's embarrassing, i'm supposed to be the smarter one here."

"we're finally done here- wait, where did grim go? ugh, just how can you be so patient with someone like him?"

level up max:

"i actually think that we already are as good as other nrc students, even if we're "magicless humans". if we weren't that good, they wouldn't ask us for help all the time."

episode level up:

"i can't believe i'm saying this, but.. you're a surprisingly reliable person. maybe crowley was right and him making you a prefect wasn't a bad idea- DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!"

limit break:

"there's no time to waste! we still have so much to work on, don't you want to impress other students with your new skills? w-why do you think i'm the one who wants to impress them??"

groovy:

"see? this is what happens when you work hard enough! do you still want to laze around and do nothing all day?"

lesson lines (before lesson):

"the fact that grim can use magic and we can't.. no, i don't want to think about it, it makes me too angry."

"i don't think this magic-related stuff will be useful to us, but we don't know for how long we'll have to stay in this world. we should learn as much about twisted wonderland as we can."

"can you at least try paying more attention in class? if you do, we can go and get milkshakes later. i think it would be a nice reward.. for me, at least."

lesson start:

"now, everyone, don't you think of slacking off! "

lesson end:

"hehe, i got a good grade~"

battle start:

"do i also have to take part in this?" *sigh* "you really can't do anything without me."

battle win:

"so, how do you feel about getting beat by someone who can't use magic?"

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

[ minnie's lesson chats ]

[ the only magicless humans in this school ]

"i hate that so many other students are looking down on us simply because we don't have magic abilities."

"especially that one green-haired guy who never shuts his mouth.."

"just who do they think they are? sure, maybe they know more about magic and this world, but we're just as strong and smart as them!.. well, i definitely am, i don't know about you though."

"you're not worried about it at all? seriously? don't you want to prove them wrong and make them pay for what they said about us?"

"do you remember what ace said when we first met him? do you remember him making fun of us? i wanted to punch him so badly- wait, no, i still want to punch him."

"yeah, there's a lot of guys i want to punch."

"but that's not the point! i just think you should stop letting them say all that stuff about you. sure, you're an idiot, but you shouldn't allow them call you one."

"am i the only one who's allowed to call you that?.. hm, maybe."

"i'm calling you an idiot only because i want you to improve and become a better person! i believe that you have a hidden potential, you're just too lazy to do something with it."

"i mean, you're good at sewing, baking, drawing.. i was very surprised when i found out you have so many hobbies."

"so yeah, you're already better than that lazy lion."

"now, let's go and show them what we can do. we'll definitely become the greatest magicians in this school! no, the whole twisted wonderland!"

"d-did i sound like grim just now? ugh, you really had to ruin the mood like this?"

[ my collection of dolls ]

"hey, um.. thanks for helping me fix emily's dress. i didn't expect you to help me out of all people."

"to be honest, it actually looks even better now.. no, i didn't say anything!"

"oh, you want to know more about my dolls collection?" *clears her throat* "w-well, it's not like i've been waiting for this moment.."

"i was interested in dolls since i was a child and i got one for every holiday: my birthday, halloween, christmas.."

"well, it was like this until that man left us."

"my dolls remind me of a better time in my life, you know? before everything went to hell and all.."

"huh? why do my dolls like this? what do you mean?"

".. are you saying they're ugly?"

"because if you are, i will make my daughters kill you in your sleep."

"oh, you just wanted to say they look unique? i see.."

"you thought i'm gonna believe you? you're just another guy who thinks my dolls are scary!"

"and you know what? i'm glad to hear it! i asked my parents to buy me creepy dolls on purpose, so that they could protect me from monsters under my bed."

"and now they protect me from stupid guys like you and other nrc students."

"and my brother too."

[ why i don't get along with guys ]

*sigh* "now what? what do you need from me this time?"

".. you want to know why i hate male students so much?"

"w-why, it's because all of them are idiots, of course!"

"look around. all of them are either lazy, dumb, rude or just insane. and it's not just nrc students, rsa is full of weirdos too and you know it!"

"you remember that guy who's obsessed with knives, right?"

"yeah, and he looked so innocent too.. that's why i can't trust them!"

"they're just gonna hurt me again.."

"why i don't mind your company though? wait, who said i don't mind it?? you're, like, one of the biggest idiots in this school!"

"it's just.. i'm pretty much forced to deal with you, so there's no point in complaning. we share the same dorm, i have no other choice!"

"it would be nice to live in a different dorm, like heartslabyul or pomefiore, but mr. raven mask won't allow it."

"well, i can somewhat tolerate heartslabyul and pomefiore students! if we're not counting the weird ones."

".. i just realized that these dorms have a lot of weird members."

"anyway, the reason why i can't be friends with guys is none of your business. just don't annoy me, okay? and then, maybe, i will tell you the truth."

*thinking* "i just don't want him to think of me as a dumb girl with daddy issues.."

[ a crocodile and a mouse ]

sebek: "minnie! we have to discuss the way you've been treating the young master!"

minnie: *thinking* "here we go again.."

minnie: "oh, i'm sorry for not kissing his feet whenever he enters the room. i promise i'm gonna do that next time."

minnie: "you thought i'll say that? i couldn't care less about that guy."

minnie: "maybe he's the greatest magician in twisted wonderland, but he means literally nothing to me, someone from a different world."

sebek: "HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT?"

minnie: "BECAUSE I CAN! AS I SAID, HIS OPINION IS NOTHING TO ME!"

minnie: "i don't care about your opinion too, by the way."

sebek: "i should've expected something like this from you.. you're just a human, you would never understand just how great young master is."

sebek: "now, if only you could listen to me-"

minnie: "and i don't really want to."

sebek: ".. eh?"

minnie: "i don't want to understand his greatness or anything like that. i'm not interested."

sebek: "b-but-"

sebek: "you can't just ignore young master's existence like this!"

minnie: "oh well, i'm trying my best."

minnie: "now, if you'll excuse me."

sebek: *thinking* ".. does she really find young master that boring?"

sebek: *thinking* "she truly has no respect for him.."

[ since when we were best friends? ]

ace: "hey, minnie! how are you doing on this fine evening?"

minnie: "what do you want from me, ace?"

ace: "come on, we're literally bffs! why are you always assuming i need something from you?"

minnie: "ace, you're making fun of me every time you get the opportunity. should i remind you about our first meeting?"

minnie: "no, actually, should i remind you about every single time we talked to each other?"

ace: "well, i'm sorry, your reactions are just too entertaining!"

ace: *trying not to laugh* "especially when your face becomes all red, you look just like the dorm leader-"

minnie: "ACE!"

ace: "okay, okay, i'll stop. so, uh.."

ace: ".. can i copy your magical history homework?"

minnie: "wait a minute, you're asking me for help? "a human who can't use magic and doesn't know anything about it"?"

minnie: "wow, is your situation that bad?"

ace: "stop it! you're the only person i can rely on right now!"

ace: "do you really think other students who are at least somewhat smart would help me?"

ace: "sure, i could ask trey-senpai, but he also has his limits. i should stop relying on him all the time."

minnie: "and why are you so sure that i would be okay with helping you?"

ace: "because we're best friends?.."

minnie: "since when?"

ace: "i'll do anything, minnie, just help me out this one time, okay??"

minnie: ".. okay."

minnie: "but first, you have to get down on your knees and apologize for everything you said to me in the past!"

ace: "haha, that's a good one! now, about the homework-"

minnie: "come on, hurry up. i can't hear you apologizing."

ace: "wait, you're actually serious about this??"

[ out of all the students, you're the one to respect me? ]

minnie: *thinking* "ugh, i don't want to deal with this lion guy right now."

minnie: *thinking* "just leave and hope that he doesn't notice you.."

leona: "hm? ah, it's you, little mouse."

minnie: "what did you just call me?"

leona: "you didn't hear anything. so, what did you want?"

leona: "make it quick, i want to go back to sleep as soon as i can."

minnie: ".. i can't reach that shelf."

minnie: "and i need that one book about magic analytics."

leona: "you're trying to understand magic even though you can't use it?"

minnie: "shut up and get the book for me."

minnie: *thinking* "he's definitely not gonna get it. he's too lazy for that, he's gonna come up with some kind of excuse or he'll just ignore me-"

leona: "okay. i'll do it, if you promise to leave me alone right after that."

minnie: "HUH??"

leona: "why are you so surprised? i'm doing you a favor and i'm asking for one in return, what's so weird about it?"

minnie: "n-no, it's just.. fine. i didn't want to sit in the same room as you anyway."

leona: "you're blushing, by the way."

minnie: "GET THAT BOOK FOR ME ALREADY!"

minnie: *thinking* "and here i thought that he wasn't actually that bad.."

[ maybe if you were a bit nicer.. ]

minnie: "um.."

avery: ".. hey, you need something? you've been staring at me for a while."

minnie: "what, you have a problem with that?"

avery: "wh- of course i do! would you like it if i looked at you like this for several minutes??"

minnie: "no, i would literally kill you if you did that."

avery: "see? now, did you need something from me?"

minnie: ".. flowers."

avery: "can you speak louder? i can't hear you-"

minnie: "I SAID I NEED YOUR HELP WITH FLOWERS!"

avery: "I JUST ASKED YOU TO SPEAK LOUDER, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT AT ME!"

minnie: "so, i tried to get into gardening because i thought it would be fun and.."

minnie: *thinking* "i thought it would be cool if i ended up being better at it than you."

avery: "and? you need my advice or something?"

minnie: "..."

avery: "you know i can't help you if you don't say what happened, right?"

minnie: ".. my plant died the next day."

avery: "..."

avery: "how? no, actually, what did you do to make it die so quickly??"

minnie: "I DON'T KNOW, THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU FOR HELP!"

minnie: "BUT YOU'RE JUST LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M STUPID-"

avery: "WELL, I CAN'T EXACTLY CALL YOU A GENIUS FOR KILLING YOUR PLANT SO EASILY!"

avery: *trying to calm himself down* "fine. just show me the plant, maybe i can figure out what went wrong."

minnie: "really? thank you- ahem, well, i'm glad you decided to make yourself useful for once."

avery: "FOR ONCE??"

minnie: *laughs* "okay, okay, you're actually a bit more useful than those other guys."

minnie: "honestly, if it wasn't for your personality, i wouldn't mind hanging out with you"

avery: ".. same goes for you."

minnie: "what did you say?"

avery: "nothing, just show me the plant already."

[theravenclawrevolutionary]

i'm not a frev expert. and you seem to be approchable enough and to have read enough. i had a question, or kind of a question. i just. i think that if robespierre wasn't against all the deaths by guillotine, he wouldn't have written that quote about virtue and terror. maybe i'm getting you wrong, or i'm not understanding the sense of that quote. could you explain?

Oh dang. I'm kinda surprised that people think I have any real authority on the subject of the Frev since I'm not an actual historian or anything and I'm surprised people find me approachable but of course I'll try my best for you Anon! And if anyone else has a better interpretation or anything else to add please, go ahead. I'll also try my best to keep it in as simple language as I can. But I digress.

⚠ This post is quite long so be prepared for that ⚠

First of all, Robespierre has more than one quote talking about terror and virtue. I'm assuming that you're thinking of the one that goes, "Terror is only justice: prompt, severe and inflexible; it is then an emanation of virtue; it is less a distinct principle than a natural consequence of the general principle of democracy, applied to the most pressing wants of the country." since that is the most common one. However, if you're talking about the one that goes "Terror is only justice: prompt, severe and inflexible; it is then an emanation of virtue; it is less a distinct principle than a natural consequence of the general principle of democracy, applied to the most pressing wants of the country." Let me know and I'll write about that one. The former is definitely a quote that, in my experience studying the Frev, gets misinterpreted from what it was originally meant to say fairly often.

To start with, it's very important to know what connotation and definition the words 'virtue' and 'terror' had in revolution-era France. Modern-day definitions may not be the same ones that were used in the past. According to my research, which of course isn't infallible, virtue was used to refer to someone's disposition and the way it would lead them to choose good over evil whereas where terror was seen simply as great fear. At the time there was no connotation of our modern-day terrorism to associate with the word. Nowadays we associate terror with terrorism which brings to mind murder, mindless destruction, oppression, and unchecked authority in which someone's ideals are forced upon large groups of people. Because of this many people assume that this is what Robespierre had in mind when he referenced terror when really he meant to describe the use of intimidation tactics to seize power from those who oppressed the lower class people and the general fear that was felt by the commoners.

Essentially the Reign of Terror meant 'a time period where everyone felt a sh*t load of Fear over all the bad stuff happening at once while the regular people try to overthrow the oppressive ruling class with intimidation tactics.' It does not mean 'a time period where loads of people were purposely committing widespread acts of terrorism to push their agendas'. And really, it was the only way to give everyone the chance to get rid of the old government, the monarchy, and allow a fair democracy that would be beneficial to the future of France to be built.

Next, it's important to know the context in which this quote was originally said. The speech where Robespierre said it took place on Feb 5th (?) of 1794. By this point, the revolution has been well underway for several long years and, as I said, a lot of sucky things are happening at the same time. The republic was in a war with a massive part of Europe and they're kinda getting curb-stomped. The country is in a state of civil war between the people that still supported the monarchy and all the different groups that had different views of how the country should be run. France's economy was complete sh*t too, so all this really radicalized the people and made the whole revolution situation so much worse than it already was.

At the time there were two factions, so to say, in the National Convention that were hella pissed at each other and really at odds. the Hébertists (who, to make things easy, wanted to escalate the Terror, go on the offensive with the military, and the overthrow and replace some of the existing government structures at the time) and the Dantonists (who wanted to sorta get rid of the revolutionary government, negotiate for peace in the war, and chill out on the whole Terror thing). And remember that these groups of people were very loose and like people in today's politic didn't agree with every stance their 'faction' took.

By the time Max made this speech, which was addressing these two groups, the situation between them was escalated big time. The Hébertists, with their views of 'more terror all over! That'll help us win everything,' or 'terror without virtue,' were pushing for a system that would quickly prove fatal. By contrast, the Dantonists with their, 'we just need to kinda chill and things will work out,' way of thinking or 'virtue without terror', would only lead to them (and the rest of the country) getting walked over by everyone else.

Throughout the entire speech, a speech I haven't recently read all the way through, Max comes back to the idea of terror and virtue, stressing that both are necessary. What I think he meant to do was talk about how the revolution couldn't survive without both terror (fear and the aggression that causes it) and virtue (the choice of good over evil) being applied. He's trying to explain to both groups that a little bit of both ideals is the most beneficial way to go about things. In reality, it has nothing to do with whether he personally believed in or advocated the death penalty/ the use of the guillotine. Instead, Robespierre is emphasizing that at that particular moment in time doing what is right and good (virtue) will most likely end up causing some bad things that will make people afraid for a while (terror).

What Robespierre is not saying is that terror, and by extension the violence that is causing the terror is virtuous. There are several easy-to-find sources that prove his personal disapproval of the death penalty from a moral standpoint. As a young lawyer in his hometown in Arras, he became physically ill at the idea of having one of his clients sentenced to death, even though he was found guilty of the crime he was on trial for. He made a speech agreeing with the abolition of the death penalty on May 30th of 1791 (?) arguing that there is no place for the death penalty in a civilized society because the law needs to be a model of what is good. He attempted to save the lives of Georges Danton and Camille Desmoulins, two friends/coworkers that he is commonly charged with sending to their deaths when the opposite is actually true. Additionally, he did the same with other more controversial people including the king's sister of all people, Madame Elisabeth. Even when voting for the death of the king he reiterates his own opinion on the death penalty saying, "For myself, I abhor the penalty of death that your law so liberally imposes, and I have neither love nor hatred for the King; it is only the crimes that I hate…. It is with regret that I utter this baneful truth…Louis must die in order that our country may live." Though it conflicts with his personal views, Robespierre makes the decision based on the needs of France as a country, something that many politicians need to relearn how to do today.

Long story short, he was not supporting the use of the guillotine with that quote, but rather trying to get two opposing factions to realize that both intimidation/fear and making sound, beneficial decisions would keep France on the right track to building a successful democracy for the people. Hopefully this helped and I explained it in a way that was easy for you to understand. If you ever have any more Frev related questions feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer or I'll send you in the direction of someone else more knowledgeable if I don't know.

Also, can someone tell me if I did a good job of explaining this? I can never tell if things I write about the Frev make sense to me because I actually know exactly what I mean to say so everyone else kinda goes along with it or if I actually say helpful things of substance. Thanks guys! And if anyone else knows more about the subject or if I've made a mistake please help me out.

~Dara

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

The Perfect Bad Boy (Pt. 14 of 18)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 3 K

Summary: Working as a lifeguard in the Hawkins Community Pool, you try to fit in after moving from New York. Things were going pretty well when you notice you've been under someone's stare. Billy Hargrove, Hawkins' bad boy, has been staring at you since day one. You never intended to have anything to do with him, judging by the reputation he has. But Billy won't leave you alone, determined to show you his feelings are different this time...

As if your heart flooding you with confusing feelings wasn't enough, there are weird, strange animals lurking in the woods... But those have to be just part of the wild live of the woods surrounding Hawkins... Right?

<- Previous part (13)

Next part (15) ->

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

×

Hunt and Destroy

“Alright... A lot of new words and names...” You mutter, looking at the floor between your feet. It's late now, and Eleven has been talking for over an hour. The story is long and you had to stop her to ask a few questions. More than a few, actually. Everything sounds like a very strange story, the weirdest, something nobody could come up with. To prove it, Eleven turned the TV on with her mind, skipping through the channels before turning it off again. But you didn't need any proof. You know what you saw and it was very, very real. “Upside down, Demodog, Demodorden...”

“Demogorgon. With a G.” Dustin corrects you, smiling. How can he be smiling?

“Demogorgon, ok.” Nodding, you take a deep breath and stand up. “So... What's the plan?” You ask, pacing around the living room.

“Well, we need to gather the whole party for this,” Max says and the others nod.

“I'll talk to my mom and Hopper,” Jonathan speaks out. “We have to do this as soon as possible so... tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Can it be here?” You're not sure if you can make this demand, but right now, being anywhere else after dark is too much. The sunlight is your protection since it's deadly to the... Demo-something. It burns them. They like it cold, said Eleven.

“Sure.” Jonathan answers and you offer him a small smile in return. “Could it be by five? Before the sunset.”

“Yeah. We can sneak out of the pool again.” It shouldn't be a problem, and if Anthony is there, you could pretend to be sick.

“Tomorrow is our day off.” Billy reminds and you take a deep breath, running a hand through your hair. You completely forgot that.

“By the morning them. Maybe we'll get something figured out we can start working on through the rest of the day.” Mike suggests and the whole party agrees. “We should get going though. It's late.” Mike gets up from his spot on the floor.

“Wait.” Mike can't possibly be for real now. “You're not gonna head home now. With those things out there.” They're getting closer to the town, and it means they'll hang around all night. “It's dangerous. You should stay.”

Most of them agree easily, chattering among them. Max seems excited, but Mike exchanges a look with Nancy. “I don't think our mother would let us crash at Billy's place.” She says with an apologetic look.

“Oh.” You know why. Billy told you where he was going to when the Mind Flayer almost got him... Or better saying, who he was going to meet. Mrs. Wheeler. You did felt weird back then, and it sure makes you feel weird now, but whatever he did before, you left it where it belongs. In the past. “Just call and tell her you'll be crashing at my place.”

“Yeah, man. C'mon. Slumber party.” Dustin cheers, smiling, and once again you can't understand why they aren't terrified. Guess they're just used to it. But how can someone get used to monsters lurking around?

“Alright, then.” Mike agrees, making his way to the phone.

“They didn't get it yet,” Billy whispers in your ear.

“They didn't get it.” Repeating, you wrap your arms around his neck. “I'm really trying not to freak out right now.” The words come out of your mouth, rolling out your tongue.

“Let's go to the bedroom so you can rest and we can talk.”

“Ok...”

“Alright. It's done.” Mike comes back with his sister, gesturing at the front door. “Should we get going?”

You and Billy exchange a look. They really didn't get it. “Uhm... So that's it, guys.” You start, taking Billy's hand and pulling him with you. “You can crash either here or Max's room. First to wake up makes breakfast.”

“Wait. You made me lie to my mom?” Mike asks as you move further into the hall.

“(Y/N) is living here.” Max ends the mystery, and you can feel her massive eye roll.

“Holy shit.” You hear Dustin and Steve mumbling as you get inside the room.

Billy lets you shower first, and as you wait for him, you look through his college books. Everything seems very complicated. Your fingers run through one of the pages, taking in the many numbers, but not really reading anything. Your mind is too far away right now. The scene keeps playing back, over and over. The... Demodog, as the kids call it, its face opening up, the guttural noises it made. You wish it was just a nightmare, but everything seems very, very real.

Billy's sudden touch makes you suck in a sharp breath, shaking a little. “Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you.” The feeling is quickly replaced by the usual warmth he makes you feel. Safety and comfort.

“It's ok, I'm just... How is it possible that the kids seem to be so fine with it?” Turning around, you lay your head on his chest as he pulls you close.

“They've been through a lot. They know how to deal with it and you don't have to participate if you don't want to.” Billy touches your face, fingers caressing the soft skin of your jaw. “I'll do anything to keep you safe, you know that right?”

You do. But staying out would not only make you a coward, but it would mean one less person to help them do whatever they're planning to. And, whatever this thing is, it had a part in messing with Billy's life. With Max's life, and all her friends. It's kind of personal. And, if Billy is in danger, you want to be there to make sure you'll do anything to save him. “I want to do it. I just need time to... Process everything.”

“You won't be alone. And I'm not talking only for myself, but for everyone else too.”

“Ok.”

“Now come. You need to get some sleep.” Billy pulls you to the bed, and, instead of laying beside him as usual, you decide to crawl on top of him.

“Am I crushing you?” You ask as you lay your head on his chest, smiling to feel his strong arms around you.

“Haven't you noticed the weight I can lift? You're nothing compared to it.”

Closing your eyes, you feel as he places a kiss on the top of your head. You've never been like that with Billy, literally on top of him, and it's good. Today, more than ever, you need to feel safe. Protected. And he's the only one who makes you feel this way. “I'm so happy we don't have to go to work tomorrow.”

“Me too.”

Pulling yourself up, you move upwards until your face is close to his. “Do you think the kids are talking about us?” Despite your mind being apparently stuck reminiscing the same moment, the terror in your chest, you try to change the subject. Hopefully, it'll keep you from having nightmares tonight.

“I'm sure of it.” As he speaks, a noise of glass shattering reaches us. “Max!” Billy yells at the top of his lungs, startling you. “What the hell!”

“Stop yelling.” You giggle, playfully slapping his shoulder.

“Just a glass, Billy,” Maxine answers from somewhere in the house.

“Better clean this shit up!” He shouts again.

“Shut up!” You whine, lowering yourself on him a little. “Or else I'll have to make you and it won't be nice.”

Billy raises an eyebrow, that usual smirk making its way to his lips. “Oh, and how exactly wouldn't it be nice?”

Yeah, you didn't really give much thought before making the threat. “Okay then.” Smirking, you close the distance between you until your lips are brushing on his before you sit up abruptly, a hand covering his mouth. “See? I told you it wouldn't be nice.” He opens his mouth under your hand, and you feel his teeth biting your skin. “Billy!” You complain, taking your hand away from his mouth. “I can't believe you bit me, you jerk.”

“You got what you deserved.” He suddenly pulls you down, making you lay next to him. “Now, quit playing around and sleep, princess. Tomorrow will be a long day.”

“Kiss me goodnight then. To keep the bad dreams away.” You ask him softly, melting into the slow, warm kiss he gives you.

It doesn't help with the nightmares though. Twice that night you wake up, a breath caught in your throat. You struggle not to let Billy notice, snuggling closer to him.

You're more than happy when morning finally comes. The house is so damn loud, and breakfast in a mess. You like it though, the craziness distracting you from yesterday's events. The rest of the party is here by nine, thanks to the urgency of the matter. And then, after everyone is fed up and the dishes are clean, which took half an hour since nobody wanted to do it, everyone sits in the living room to talk.

And you just can't seem to keep up with it. The boys speak fast, Hopper yells, Joyce tries to calm him down, he argues with Eleven, which is like his daughter, you got that, and then he argues with Mike. Nancy and Jonathan always check with each other before saying something, Steve always finds the flaws on the kids' plans, pointing out the many ways it could go wrong, and Dustin often gets into some kind of argument with him. There are a hundred different ways things could go wrong. A thousand ways you could die. Running a hand through your hair, you hold onto Billy's biceps, laying your head on his shoulder. You're the only one who didn't say anything since the conversation started. There's just nothing you can help them with, you'll just stick up to whatever plan they have.

What they know for sure that these Demodogs are here because some of them must have been left behind in some kind of incubation period until it started growing again.

“So that's it. Hunt and destroy.” Lucas says, nodding to himself.

“Yes. We don't know exactly how much time we have until they start going full Demogorgon, so we should start acting now.” Mike states. “Immediately.”

As if something was lit up, everyone starts moving. “My place in one hour, everyone,” Hopper says and suddenly the crowd disperses, the house once again silent.

You're still in the same place you were, on the couch, legs crossed, eyes on the floor. “Hey. You ok?”

“Yeah.” Taking a deep breath, you stand up. “So. Hopper's place. One hour.” Saying this more to yourself than to him, you get up and pace around the living room. “Should we take the baseball bat?”

“Steve has one far more fun than that. You'll like it.” You can tell Billy is keeping his voice nice and soft, trying not to push you over the edge with everything that's going on. “(Y/N), you don't have to go. You know that, right?”

“I do. But I'm going anyway.” Walking over him, you tiptoe to place a kiss on his lips. “Those kids are so brave. I don't want them to think I'm the weak link.”

“Alright, but we stick together. No exceptions.”

“I agree.” It does make you feel a lot better.

In the next hour, you and Billy shower and get ready. You make sure to wear short jeans and a light shirt so you won't feel too hot. The plan is trying to find the Demodog's nest. This part has to be made during the daylight, to make sure no attacks will happen, so you have no choice but to walk around the woods under the sun. Billy makes sure to shove a lot of water on his backpack, using literally every bottle he found in the house. And Max gathers some snacks for the day.

You reach Hopper's place at the same time Nancy, Jonathan, and Mike does, realizing it's also Joyce's place. The party is gathered in front of the house, a big map of Hawking on the ground. Beside it, a pile of some random stuff that you guess will be the... Weapons you'll use. Just in case.

Hopper is the one to assign everyone a place to start, the area they'll have to cover, and where they'll have to stop. There are lines drawn over the map, and you hope Billy has everything memorized because you don't even know where is where. Then, the groups are separated. Billy of course says he'll take you and Max. And Lucas, much to his dismay, will come along too. When people start taking stuff from the pile, you immediately get what Billy mentioned earlier. There's a baseball bat with nails on the top. Smiling, you take it.

“That's so badass.” You mutter, looking at Billy. “This will be my weapon of choice.”

“Hey. That's mine.” Steve exclaims, reaching out his hand.

“Not anymore, buddy.” You sass at him, swinging the bar and hitting the air.

“But–”

“She's good with the bat, trust me,” Maxine says and you nod. Some people have an interrogation on their faces, and Steve keeps staring at the three of you, as if waiting for further explanation.

“We have an inside joke.” Lowering the bat, you turn to look at Billy.

“Restricted to the Hargrove family,” Billy states, taking one the radios from the pile and starting the make his way to the car. “And Max.”

“But what about me?” You feel a little set aside by his affirmation, wondering what he meant. It's impossible that he's ignoring the fact that you were there that day. “I'm in the joke too.” Whining a little on purpose, you follow him.

“You still only notice half of things.” Billy winks at you as he gets inside the car, and after Max and Lucas get in the back seat, you get in as well. “I know you know what I meant.”

“Maybe I didn't.” Billy has this way with you. You were expecting the first sensations to fade, but they didn't. He still makes you nervous, the butterflies on your stomach doesn't seem to grow immune to him. And part of you is still scared of the things you think he means. You did got what he said, but it's safer to just pretend you didn't, right?

The short drive is filled with chattering. The kind of chattering you didn't want to hear since it's all about the Demothings. You stop by the woods, and Max and Lucas will be the ones responsible for the map since they have a compass.

And so the ‘hunting’ starts. You're glad it's not a real hunt though. You remember when you invited Billy for a trail with your friends, but walking through the woods feels different now. Before, you had only the normal wild animals to worry about, not some monsters that came out of the gates of hell. But you try to keep in mind that the sunlight means protection, so you'll safe. For now.

“Billy, can you make sure we'll have enough daylight to make the way back to the car?” You ask him, putting your hair up on a ponytail.

“I will, don't worry.” He moves closer, taking your hand in his. “We'll be ok. Just focus on trying to find anything unusual in the woods.”

“Sure.”

Billy doesn't let go of your hand until you stop to eat something. Lucas and Max start arguing a lot when you resume your walking, complaining about the directions. Billy is clearly pissed, not very fond of the idea of his little sister dating. It's cute the way he keeps staring at the young couple, paying attention to whatever they're saying. You wonder if Billy ever thought about having kids.

Wait. What the hell? Step back, you tell yourself. Too soon for that.

At some point, a fresh breeze starts blowing, and you couldn't be more thankful for it. Letting your hair down, you run a hand through it out of nervousness.

“I'm telling you, we have to go West now,” Lucas says.

“Yes. First West then North.” Maxine takes the map from his hands, taking a look at it. “It's obvious if you think about it. Just look. Try using your head for a moment.”

“Are you calling me dumb?”

“Yes!”

“Alright, both of you.” Billy intervenes, his voice with a tiny hint of anger. “Will you two make a goddman decision or will I have to?”

This will be interesting. Billy and you have been walking a couple of feet behind them, so as he moves ahead, you stand there, crossing your arms. The breeze brings a soft sound, that looks like the sound the pools make when it's windy. Following it, you spot water, only about ten feet away. Leaving the guys behind to their fights, you make your way there, making sure there are no big trees hiding you from their sight. When you get there, you bend down, putting one hand on the freshwater.

“(Y/N)!” It's Billy's usual yell, the one he always uses to scare the shit out of you. “Do you want to give me a heart attack?” When you turn around to look at him, he's already close by, Maxine and Lucas coming right after.

“Sorry, but I found this lake.”

“Lover's lake,” Max says, sitting down on a rock, eyes on the map.

“Lover's lake?” You repeat, crossing your arms and looking at Billy. “Why haven't you ever brought me here?” By the name, you think it would be a nice romantic date. And you remember by what you saw on the map, the lake is shaped like a heart, the reason for the name.

“Oh, you're new here. Sometimes it slips my mind.” He puts he bag down, safely away from where the small ripples reach. “People usually come here to... You know. So I thought that if I brought you and then you found out what really happens here you'd come to the wrong conclusion about my feelings for you.”

That's a very good explanation. And it makes you feel... Special. Different. “Thank you, then. For... Having this in mind.” As you speak, you take off your white shoes, all dusted by now.

“What are you doing?” He asks, an eyebrow raised when you look up at him, using his arm for balance to take off the other shoe.

“I'm using the Lover's Lake to something else than making out.” You start walking backwards, into the water.

“Whoa, look at what (Y/N)'s doing,” Lucas says, and you give them a glance. Max giggles, putting the map down.

“Try to drown Billy, would you?”

“I'll do my best.” When you stare back at Billy, he's already in the water.

You move back until your feet stop touching the bottom, so you start swimming further away. The freshwater is a blessing, washing the hot day from your skin. For a moment, you decide to leave the worries behind, just for a couple of minutes. Billy is quick to reach you, and you're suddenly aware of the kids staring. “We have an audience, keep that in mind.” You tell him when he pulls you close, strong arms encircling your waist.

“Were you ever kissed underwater?”

“No.” Your smirk matches his as you take a deep breath and push yourself down.

The kiss is a mess. You have to focus on holding your breath through the process, what makes you laugh, throwing bubbles on Billy's face. You manage to reach the bottom, your back hitting the rocks as Billy floats on top of you. But eventually, the oxygen you were saving is over, so you push him away and swim back up, laughing when you reach the surface.

“What a chaos.” You burst out when he comes back up as well. “We suck at underwater kisses.”

“I think I swallowed some water,” Billy says, coughing a little.

It only makes you laugh harder, removing the hair glued to your face. Swimming closer to him, you wrap your arms around his neck.

“Hey! Mr. and Mrs. Hargrove! Let's get moving!” Lucas shouts, making you roll your eyes.

You burst into laugh again when Billy flings you over his back, carrying you back to land.

And the walking restarts, with Max and Lucas constantly arguing and Billy trying to make them stop. The good thing is that it distracts you. And the bad part is that it distracts you from searching around for any signs of a Demothing nest. Your eyes scan through the woods, among the trees, looking for–.

“Holy shit!” Lucas exclaims and then he jolts away, running, followed by Max. You and Billy exchange a look before rushing after them.

Before you can ask what was that, you see it. A huge hole on the solid ground. It would fit a car in it. The thing goes down, in a slope, and then it keeps going until it makes a turn left. It's clear it doesn't belong to any kind of wild animal. It's not natural. A low, guttural low snarl reaches your ears, and you involuntary gives step back.

“Call them. Them then we found it.” Lucas says, taking a pencil and making a mark on the map.

The moment Max takes the small radio, you hear static. “Everyone listen up.” Steve says, more voices talking behind him. “We found it. A freaking hole in the ground. It has to be–”

“That's it.” Eleven's voice cuts him off. “We found it too.”

It was supposed to be just one.

“What?” Steve asks.

“Head back now. Everyone.” Hopper says and Max turns the radio off.

This is far worse than you thought.

×

@chloe-skywalker @dpaccione @dreamin-of-dacre @funeral-7 @uncookspaget @youhavemyfantasticbeasts @halloweenbitch2764 @redlovett @multific @shinydixon @nikkixostan @clockworkballerina @nope-thanks

[tangent101]

Max Caulfield and Post-Storm PTSD

One thing I find interesting (and have done so myself) is speculating on how broken Max will be in a Post-Storm (either Sacrifice Chloe or Sacrifice Arcadia Bay) setting. While some people (usually those who killed Chloe) like to say "she'd bounce back!" the predominant view is that we have a shattered Max after this who needs a lot of therapy. So I thought I'd unpack this and look at why I look at this this way.

At this point I should add there is potential triggers here. I'll be examining my own PTSD and elements of Max's state of mind that may in fact result in her being in declining mental health in the wake of the events of Life is Strange.

First, let's consider what PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) is, and what causes it. And for this I'm going to start by sharing my own trauma. Because I have PTSD. I gained this after I saw a vehicle go out of control and hit two people and run over two others. The final person was trapped under the vehicle and they had to push the van at an angle to pull him out, do CPR, and... he was dead. Even if EMTs had been right there, he'd not have survived.

I suffer flashbacks thinking of this, though it's gotten better. I will flinch, visualize what happened, and feel nausea. I get tense over this and... well, it's not a happy experience to put it mildly. And I have what is likely a milder case of PTSD. I also developed it despite being in an environment that put me at a lower risk of developing it. And yes, I had minor twinges of PTSD writing this up. Two years ago I probably would have had an actual visualization and anxiety break. So you can get better with therapy and help.

But what specifically is PTSD? According to the website for the National Institute of Mental Health, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) develops in some people who experience shocking or dangerous events, with people who have PTSD feeling stressed or frightened even when they are not in danger. PTSD can occur within 3 months of traumatic events or even have you be fine and then crop up *years* later. And symptoms include flashbacks where you relive the trauma, bad dreams, and frightening thoughts which can disrupt a person's everyday routine.

People with PTSD are easily startled, can feel "on edge," have angry outburst, and have difficulty sleeping. They could go through avoidance of staying away from reminders of the experience and avoiding thoughts or feelings related to the event. Further, cognitive and mood symptoms include problems remembering key features of the event, self-negativity, distorted guilt or blame feelings, and loss of interest in enjoyable activities.

Okay, so how can you avoid PTSD? And how could Max avoid this? Well, factors promoting recovery after trauma include seeking support from friends and family, finding a support group, learning to feel good about your own actions in the face of danger, positive coping strategies, and learning to act and respond effectively even when feeling fear.

And this is the kicker. This is why Max is likely screwed as a result of the events of Life is Strange, especially in a Sacrifice Chloe setting. Because Max blames herself and her time travel for the Storm and all the weird shit that happened. She may very well believe that if she uses time travel for any reason, it will result in the Storm and a lot more people dying. And this will get in the way of being in a healthy environment to avoid PTSD.

First, consider friends and family. Max can't tell them what happened because she has absolutely no proof of what she went through. She can't prove her time travel because if she does then she dooms wherever she is and a lot of people die. (It doesn't matter if this is the case or not, she assumes it is true.) So Max is not going to confide in Warren or Dana or Victoria or anyone. She can't. And she's quite likely going to isolate herself because we have already seen at the start of the game, Max is a bit of a loner who doesn't have many friends.

In fact, her two "friends" are Warren (who she feels threatened by due to his attraction to her, as seen by his inclusion in her Nightmare sequence including learning he doctored photos of her to include himself in the picture, his peeping activities on the second day, and the honestly-creepy "Go Ape" thing), and Kate. Kate is going through her own shit and Max remembers Kate killing herself. Is Max going to unload her own issues on someone going through a lot of shit as well or is she going to swallow her problems so not to trouble her friend? And Warren is someone she feels nervous around and who has engaged in some activities that set up warning flags in her psyche. Further, when she told Warren the truth, he promptly blames her time travel on fucking everything up. In short, she trusted Warren and Warren said "you caused all this destruction." (Even if Max initially blames herself, he reinforces that point of view before Max jumps through the photo to save Chloe.)

Nor can I see her telling her parents. Again, she has no proof. Her parents are overprotective already. If she starts going off on this fanciful tale, are they going to believe her? Or are they going to assume their daughter is cracking and force her into therapy and possibly hospitalize her "for her own good" (and thus she ends up medicated and miserable, having lost her autonomy and agency)? It doesn't matter if they wouldn't as Max will worry this could happen. It is better to never say a thing. So Max internalizes everything. And we already see evidence that Max has done this sort of thing in the past. Max keeps her secrets close to her heart. She never told her parents of the time travel even when she could have had proof. So why tell them after Chloe died?

I have been overcoming my PTSD by revisiting it and working through it. Part of this was guided by therapy. Max would not be in a position to talk about this. And how could she? After all, she didn't find Rachel Amber's body (and we have no proof her body is uncovered in a Sacrifice Chloe setting). She didn't see the Storm. She didn't see most of the incidents. The closest that happened was being in the bathroom when Chloe was shot. And her story of what happened would change from the week that beta-Max was in charge and when Max Prime returned to the timeline. So even if she was talking to a school counselor? She'd quickly learn that her story changed and probably shut up and stop seeing them so not to give away her story.

Remember: Max cannot admit to the time travel because doing so means either killing hundreds of people due to the Storm or being locked away for being crazy because she has no proof.

Next, we have feeling good about her actions. For five days Max had hammered into her skull her actions have consequences. More, those consequences are predominantly bad. Far too often Max has to Rewind to fix things from her actions. If she can't Rewind? That means by acting, she's going to fuck things up. In fact, the fundamental aspect of Sacrifice Chloe states that her action to save Chloe caused all of this destruction. Max is going to second-guess herself constantly.

I mean, if she sees Kate on the roof again at a later point (because women who are the victims of crimes are often blamed by society for the crimes inflicted against them as seen time and time again with how we blame victims of sexual harassment and rape for the crimes committed against them, so of course her church and mother and aunt will continue to blame Kate for what she went through), will Max dare to act? If she does, then she might cause another Storm. She might cause damage. If Kate is on that rooftop again, maybe she was supposed to die. Who does Max think she is by trying to stop Destiny?

So yeah. Max is not going to feel good about her actions. She is going to second-guess herself. She already had that tendency at the start of the game, and Sacrifice Chloe hammers down the truth that action is bad. Better to do nothing and not interact.

We end up with Avoidance. Well, what is the biggest Avoidance? Photography. Max already has a murderer who kidnapped her associated with photography. She remembers being in the Dark Room, being powerless in the face of the man who murdered her Chloe. (Just like she murdered her Chloe. She might not have pulled the trigger, but she caused Chloe's death.) She will see Chloe's death and Rachel's death and her own suffering each time she looks at a camera and remembers Mark Jefferson. More, she knows if she focuses on a photograph she could end up traveling through time and causing the Storm. So she can't even enjoy pictures anymore because they are a threat.

That's not to say that the Sacrifice Chloe setting is all dark and dire. She does have music. She loves music. So if she puts aside the camera she might pick up her guitar and embrace music. (Hannah Telle, Max's VA, once speculated that Max would enter a career in music, probably due partly to her own musical inclinations.) So while she might give up her greatest loves, she might eventually embrace a future in music. I doubt she'd ever play in public but... that might be an outlet for a hurting soul.

Now, I've gone on at length about how dire things are for Max in a Sacrifice Chloe setting, but what about Sacrifice Arcadia Bay? Well, things end up a bit more positive in this setting because she can actually talk about going through some of these things. For instance, Max dug up a body with Chloe. She saw Chloe almost shot by Nathan in the bathroom. She saw Kate attempt suicide (whether or not she stopped it is immaterial to the suicide attempt). She learned that a trusted teacher and mentor was in fact a predator who was kidnapping young women, saw pictures of these crimes, and thus "suffers flashbacks visualizing herself in this setting." She can go to therapy and talk about many things she cannot in a Sacrifice Chloe setting and in doing so she can start to work through elements that could result in PTSD developing.

She can also talk to Chloe about what happened. Chloe knows about the time travel. She knows about almost dying (and Max witnessing Chloe's death multiple times). This gives Max a needed outlet for overcoming her own fears and concerns. But more importantly is this: Chloe is likely to tell Max to face down her fears. Chloe is the person who always pushed Max to try new things. And I honestly cannot see that changing as a result of what they went through.

Max also will learn to feel good about her actions. I mean, she chose Chloe over Arcadia Bay. This is the ultimate action, and while she may feel remorse for those deaths and that destruction... she also knows she saved Chloe and Chloe is by her side. She knows that her actions led to the capture and arrest of Mark Jefferson and saving Victoria Chase's life. Hell, it led to David Madsen (and probably a couple Arcadia Bay police officers) surviving the Storm because they were in the Dark Room at the time of the Storm. Her actions have consequences... and those consequences need not be dire. They can be beneficial.

So the Max of Sacrifice Arcadia Bay has a support group, she has access to therapy and can talk about some of the things she went through, she has someone she loves who believes her, she knows that her actions have benefit, she has someone who urges her to move forward. This isn't to say she won't have PTSD... but she is in a far better environment to overcome this to the point that in Life is Strange 2, we learn (in the Save Chloe timeline) that Max is submitting to galleries and that Chloe is still with her. So she's taking pictures and is in a good place in her life.

Now, what about Chloe? After all, Chloe went through some truly horrific shit herself. Chloe was almost shot by Nathan, she almost got hit by a train, she was threatened by Frank, she dug up the body of a girl she truly cared for, dozens of yards from where she was hanging out regularly, she saw a huge-ass Tornado wipe out her home town and kill her mother... yeah, Chloe's been through some horrific stuff, about as horrific as Max. More, she is in an unhealthy position at the time of the game.

But much of what benefits Max in the Save Chloe timeline also benefits Chloe. She can talk to a therapist. She has Max by her side. She has Max by her side and Max out-and-out chose her over hundreds of people. Joyce chose David over her, and for four years Chloe was in an unsafe environment. Rachel was... Rachel, and she was cheating on Chloe anyway. But Max... Max comes back, she saves her life several times, she helps Chloe time and time again, and at the end she chose Chloe over Arcadia Bay. That is big. That is bigger than big, it is... for once, Chloe was told "you are important." I mean, I'm getting teary-eyed just thinking of how big this is. Chloe has realized just how much Max loves her.

So... Chloe might develop PTSD. She is at risk of it. I think her triggers might similar to Max's - both girls probably will freak over thunderstorms for a while, and both may develop an aversion toward guns... at first I thought they'd differ but really, they'd align fairly well. About the only trigger issue Max would have Chloe doesn't has to do with photography (which is why Chloe is the person who'd help Max overcome any such issues).

[jade-marie]

I think that the problem is we've seen Beth try to kill Rio multiple times but we didn't get a lot of insight of how she was feeling inside, why she was doing this other than she thinks he's the reason for all of her problems. The only time we saw her reflect a bit is when she said to Max "it wouldn't have made you feel better. It just makes you feel nothing". And yet even after she said that we just saw her continue trying to kill Rio without her questioning herself or be confused. Like girl, if it doesn't make you feel better why do you keep doing that shit ?? And the fact that she showed more empathy towards a serial cheater and a rapist than Rio is just yikess. Now, there's only one episode left of what what was supposed to be season 3 and Beth still has the same mindset that in the beginning of the season. Like, what's the point ?

I think it’s been a huge problem with the show going back to mid season 2. It’s very rare that we just get a crystal clear, indisputable idea of what a character is thinking or feeling at any given moment. There is definitely a place for implicit storytelling, but there are also times when they just need to smack the audience over the head with it and make sure the message they want to portray is hitting home.  I, personally, struggled with it more than ever last season because there was so much going on with Beth and no true indication of how she was feeling. I think this post by @mrslackles touches on it really well.

For example, we saw her appear to feel some guilt in 3.01 but, to me, it didn’t come across like she felt guilty that Rio was dead or mourned him on a personal level, she felt bad that a little boy lost his dad and those are two very different things. Then we see her dive headfirst into this hitman plot, fully committed to killing him again and they give us no real explanation as to why. So you just have a bunch of different people analysing the show to death and giving 10 different explanations as to why she suddenly wants him dead again. Some people say it’s because she’s scared of him, I would say it’s because she wants control, but that should be a moment where the writing makes it crystal fucking clear. 

The conversation she had with Max was one of the few things I was happy they included, mainly because I feel like it goes towards proving me right - the reason she shot him was that she was angry at the way she felt he’d treated her and she was finally admitting out loud that revenge didn’t make her feel better about any of that. If she simply shot him because she was afraid for her life, her not feeling better about it afterwards wouldn’t matter - it was an act of survival, it’s not meant to feel good. It would only make sense for her to say that if the intention of shooting him was to make her life better, if she was blaming him for her problems and convinced herself that taking him out would also take away said problems.

But then, like you said, if it didn’t work the first time, what’s different now? Why does she still think that killing him is going to resolve her problems? That is something they should be really digging deep with and it just continuously misses the mark. They had Fitzpatrick call her out about it, briefly, telling her that she wouldn’t know normal if it sat on her face, but they didn’t really have Beth mull over those words. 

Honestly, I think it would’ve been so much better if they had a therapy storyline with Beth instead of Annie, where we see her tell redacted version of what’s happening to her therapist. Just something to really get in her head and make the audience understand her. Because, at the end of the day, the goal isn’t to make people like her but it should be to make her intentions and her feelings crystal clear to people so they can all make their decision on how they feel about her based on the same information. But instead what we have is weak implicit writing, which leaves so much to interpretation that essentially everyone has a completely different idea of who she is.

I think the lack of empathy she has towards Rio is down to the fact that she’s still never really recognised him as an actual human being. He’s still just a metaphor for crime. I was really hoping that was something they would truly move past in these last few episodes, but it’s just been more of the same tbh. 

[hippityhoppityyourenowmyproperty]

Reset!Rant (part 5)

Gemini Ascendant

Chapter: 1

Max: "Are they always like this?" Helen nodded and turned the page of her bodice-buster romance novel. "This is the status quo for them. Bart gets bored. Bart annoys Thad. Thad overreacts. Chaos, followed by a scuffle in the back yard. Boys come in dirty and exhausted. Repeat."

She forgot to mention the part about Thad abusing Bart and being the one who insults him. And getting murderous thoughts and viciously beating Bart up is something a little more inexcusable than just overreacting, as Helen puts it.

Thad stared at his costume that he still held in his hands. "I don't think this is going to fit, either." At least Bart was good for making the embarrassing mistakes first, so he didn't have to.

Sums up pretty well all that Thad sees in him. Because despite proving his worth and helping out numerous times in this story, Thad still refuses to acknowledge how essential Bart was to the mission and how helpful he can be.

Thad was not letting go of the subject. "You used to just cook out of box or can, too," He accused Bart. "Well yeah, but I leveled up." He stuck his tongue out at his brother. Thad's arm shot out and he grabbed Bart's tongue, eliciting a yelp of surprise.

This is another one of those scenes that is creepy and makes me feel very uncomfortable. This is a physical threat and it's aking towards physical abuse. Bart is playfully teasing him, and Thad sees that as such a big threat to his position of power that he feels the need to physically intimidate him and maybe even elicit pain. His actions aren't justified. They're not okay.

Thad complied and Max sighed. "Can't you two keep your hands to yourself for one day?"

Can't any of you see that Thad is always the one who starts fights and gets physical first? If you want to stop their fights, then maybe start by punishing the one who starts them.

Chapter: 2

"It's your own fault that they don't like you." Thad ducked a flying shirt and smirked at Bart's angry glower. "You let your nature get the better of you." Without lowering his chin, he sneered down at his twin. "You always do."

Weird, I could've sworn that you were the one who wasn't able to control his angry outbursts one chapter ago and tried to hurt Bart because he was teasing you. You're the one who resorts to abusing Bart because you can't control your anger, so get off his back for being impulsive. He's better at not letting his impulses control himself than you are, you're just too deluded to understand that. Impulsive anger is still impulsive.

Helen leaned against the counter and looked Thad in the eye. "He's a little excited right now, and we all know what happens when he's wound up like that. None of his friends can keep up with him if he gets too enthusiastic." Thad knelt down to rub Dox between his ears. "Fine, I'll babysit him."

Yeah, great idea Helen, give the person who's ripping on Bart and abusing him even more power over him, what could possibly go wrong? Isn't Bart the one who constantly had to stop Thad from doing stupid, reckless stuff because he was mad?

Max: "Do you see what I'm aiming for? Helen has done wonders in turning a potential Cain and Abel into Castor and Pollux. Now, we have to make sure that it sticks.

Sure, except for that Pollux actually loved his brother and gave up his immortality so that he could be with Castor, and that he wasn't an abusive jerk. Thad is the opposite of Pollux. He would never sacrifice something for Bart, he would let him die if it wasn't for Max. He's callous and toxic to Bart. Helen didn't make Thad less hostile towards Bart, if anything she encouraged his vile behavior. She doesn't deserve credit for this. Making sure that it sticks means that you are keeping up an abusive relationship. Max should work with Thad on his behavior if he really cared about Bart and their whole team dynamic.

Chapter: 3

Anita: "I remember us joking around that you couldn't be normal if you tried."

"Hey! I can too!" Bart glared at Thad, who was snickering at his expense. "Like you're any better." "I am", Thad replied with a grin. " I can fake being normal just as easily as I can fake being you. How else do you think I get through the day?" Bart ticked off the items on his fingers. "Picking on me, chatting with your internet girlfriend, playing with Dox..."

Thad really has a problem with self reflection in this. Then there's the immediately trying to embarrass Bart for his short comings, and saying that he's so much better than Bart. He's condescending as ever.

And not being able to fake being normal a.k.a. neurotypical is funny because..?

Thad braced against the wall and raised a golden eyebrow. "It doesn't look so much like he's joining it, as it seems more like he's owning it."

Kon's sudden frown and the telekinetic ejection of Bart was just the payoff he was looking for.

Because when Thad is in company of Bart's friends and therefore can't hurt Bart, he will try everything in his power to get them to hurt or humiliate Bart for him.

Bart: I don't get these guys. They don't act like zombies are supposed to. They're tearin' stuff up, yeah, but the're not biting people or eating brains." Thad leaned over Greta's sketchbook with his hands folded behind his back. "Then maybe they're not zombies, moron."

While casually calling him a moron (for the fifth time, by the way) Bart's friends are standing right next to him. They say nothing in response to Thad being an absolute dick to him.

Thad decided that he had enough of Greta play fashion designer and je hovered over Bart's shoulder to supervise the monitor. "Use the traffic cameras, idiot. You can follow the pseudo-zombies and extrapolate their path. Then you can tell your team where to head them up."

"I am using the traffic cameras!" Bart snapped back.

"You're not doing a very good job of it."

"Yeah? I don't see you doing this job!" Bart challenged.

Thad sneered down at him and countered, "I'm not part of your little team, and I wasn't asked to sit here."

This is the very definition of senseless criticizing and abuse that's disguised as advice. He's chewing Bart out for supposedly not doing a good job, but offers no help whatsoever. He's criticizing just because he can. He reigns Bart in for mistakes that don't even exist. Despite saying "You suck at this" He gives him no advice how to do it better. Imagine having to live with someone like that. Imagine having to listen to someone ripping on you for everything you did, even when there was nothing that you did wrong. There will always be something the abuser will be upset about, whether that thing exists or is just made up in order to be a reason to judge and criticizise the victim. Everything the victim does is somehow false.

As always, there's the put down directed at Bart's intelligence.

"He did," Thad grumbled. "I wish I could say that I had no obligation to save him, but I made a promise to Max that I would look after my idiot brother."

This confirms that Thad really would let Bart die and/or suffer right in front of him if Max wouldn't have told him to do otherwise. Also another put down.

Greta: "You're not moving very fast for a speedster saving his brother." Thad shrugged and kept his eyes on the monitot. "I'll let him dangle a bit just so he appreaciates my timely intervention more. Bart's a little dense." The last word came out with a derisive grimace.

He's risking Bart getting hurt or killed in a fight just so that Bart will learn to appreactiate his time more. Thad is the one who needs to learn to not take Bart's support for granted. He's the extremely demanding one who wants more than he deserves. In his eyes, Bart is a worthless idiot who needs to show more respect to him. And don't forget the insult. Thad wants everyone to understand how shitty Bart is because he has ADHD.

Conclusion

From the very start of their relationship Thad is a manipulative abuser who uses every opportunity he gets to ridicule and belittle Bart and continually wears his self esteem down. The lack of punishment Thad receives from his parental figuers for his damaging behavior not only turn Helen, Wally, Max and Jay into neglectful and borderline abusive guardians, but also lead to his toxic demeanor intensifying. The lack of indignance the characters show when faced with Thad very obviously and aggressively abusing Bart right in front of them makes it seem like abuse is something normal and acceptable, and not something that is contemptible and needs to have consequences. Moreover, the fanfiction is ableist in that it paints insults that are directly meant to degrade ND people for being mentally disabled (such as r*tard and shortbus) as harmless and appropriate swear words for that group of people. It is infuriating that so many people praise it as 'the best fanfic about Bart and Thad out there with the most accurate characterisations of them' when the mental torture he inflicts on Bart is objectively so plain obvious. I think I know why the readers of this work failed to recognize the maltreatment. Sibling abuse isn't as known as parental abuse is, and even more people deny that it exists. Many people excuse abusive behaviors in sibling relationships because they're under the false assumption that siblings can't be abusive. They're even harder to convince that it is abuse when the siblings are twins and don't have a significant difference in age and physical appearance. Abuse always includes a power imbalance, and you can definetly see that in Bart's and Thad's relationship. It starts in that Thad is chronologically and mentally way older than Bart. He is also more knowledgable and well versed in combat situations and fighting. Through the use of intimidation, put downs and threats Thad enhances that already existing imbalance and makes it easier for himself to abuse Bart.

This version of Thad is one of the most evil, reprehensible and crude monsters I had the misfortune of meeting in fiction. Living with someone like him is a nightmare and through the entire work I felt bad for Bart. Despite what this work is trying to make you belive, abuse is never justified, no matter who is the victim and who is the perpetrator.

[nemirutami]

I'm a huge fan of your work, and seeing that piece for hackers memory reminded me I still need to play that game. I had a lot of fun with cyber sleuth but I was worried there wouldn't be enough new content to keep me interested. How would you rate hackers memory compared to cyber sleuth?

Thank you for the kind words!

Alright, full disclosure, I have a lot of opinions, so I apologize in advance.

I did not enjoy cybersleuth past chapter 10 when Nokia [insert spoiler here] and ever since then, I always felt like we (as protagonist) were secondary to the plot. Which would have been fine, had Nokia gotten fucking development within cybersleuth to take over as protagonist instead of us. On top of getting no development to [insert spoiler], she’s extremely irritating, which didn’t make me like the fact she was considered more important to the plot at all. She even talks to you as if you’re her sidekick and let me tell you, this shit can be cute because DRV3 managed to do it in a way where the character (Kaito) is earnestly trying to help the protagonist (Shuichi) develop past his anxiety and fears. But that’s not what they did here. It didn’t work. It just felt like Nokia was putting us down, regardless of how “uppity” and “positive” she was trying to phrase it. Sidenote: I also absolutely detested how she treated Agumon and Gabumon so lmao when chapter 10 dropped I had no fucking idea WHY because imo they should’ve hated her. 

We never SAW how she got into the position she got in (Ch10). It felt absolutely hamfisted and undeserved. Kind of like a “oh yeah, it’d be cool if this happened now” shit. Then, to top it all off, the protag magically breaks the rules Suedou sets before them, basically slamming a middle finger at the screen saying “you thought this would make sense? no, we need to hamfist a happy ending sort of kind of maybe, it’s all very unclear WE DONT KNOW”. Honest, I completed all quests and side quests, got max hacker rank, entire field guide, I did everything to cover every last bit of the game, and I’m still sour on the turnout and the payoff because the game so clearly didn’t give a fuck about its own rules since it constantly broke them and failed to foreshadow Kuremi entirely. I enjoyed a bunch of the sidequests more than the main plot of the game, and to be fair, I believe I also remember the sidequests better than the main plot and this should absolutely not be the case.

That being said.

Hackers Memory does not fuck around, and I say that in the best way possible.

It presents you as secondary in the big scheme of things at the very start, (in regards to the original cybersleuth ending, because the story takes place at the very same time events are happening in cybersleuth) but it makes you a protagonist of your own story, and this is truly where the game shines. 

It really makes it all about you- as Keisuke- as an individual, from the very start to the very end. It feels more like a journey of a specific protagonist with a fixed personality, and if the original had done this instead of give us a more flat character, I think I would have enjoyed the game more. I couldn’t stop playing this game the moment I got it, and easily beat it in about 4 or 3 days because I was so invested. Hell, in Cybersleuth, I never gave a fuck to collect all medals, and I decided to actually do it for this game just because I adored every last aspect of it? I did gacha in this videogame for 8 hours that gave me absolutely nothing in return, this is how you know I’m serious about the quality of a game- I waste time in it doing POINTLESS SHIT and I still have fun.

I went in expecting to be secondary, but the plot absolutely knew how to shine the spotlight on this protagonist (Keisuke) flawlessly and draw out his best characteristics. Cybersleuth protag is a clean slate at best, but Keisuke has a variety of very unique responses even without giving you the option to respond. He reacts very fixed to certain events, giving you a general feel of what he’s actually like, which is different from the signature way Cybersleuth Protag simply cocks their head a little or does the “:o” face when someone says something surprising. Keisuke has a lot more expressions, and you can easily tell what the characters are feeling (once you get to know them) just by their expressions alone. There’s a scene at the very start of Hacker’s memory where Yu (Protag’s best friend) and Keisuke share 4 silent “...” dialogue boxes with only a small variety in expression. 

At my first playthrough, I had NO CLUE what this meant. I assumed it was all an awkward silence (since it’s quite literally at the start of the game) but after knowing exactly every little aspect of their personalities- that entire scene bears a different meaning. I could TELL what both of them wanted to say, and what they wanted to convey without actually having to use words. That might be because what facinated me most about Hacker’s memory was exactly Yu and Keisuke’s friendship. What’s great here though isn’t just the fact that this happens with Keisuke and Yu. It happens with every character. I replayed, noticing the quirks early on, and knowing the backstory- was aware of why they were acting the way they were. I knew of the secrets, I knew of the motivations, and honestly, I think Hacker’s memory only gets better a clean run right after you beat it. Yes I... I’m being serious. I replayed it the very second I completed it. This might also tell you something of how invested I am, and how big of a change this was to experience in contrast to the original cybersleuth which left me glaring at the ceiling angrily begging for the plot to make some lick of sense. And unlike cybersleuth, the plot here, is quite honestly, really good. Despite the stakes not being as high, and ultimately won’t matter in the end (because cybersleuth end)- you... FEEL like it matters more. Just because of how intimately you’ve come to know the characters that’ve been with you for so long.

All the relationships are developed, focusing mainly on the team at Hudie (your new hacker team). When I say the relationships are developed, I mean, quite literally, every important character has some role to play in the other’s life. Ryuji: the leader, a mentor to Keisuke, who later becomes a follower of Keisuke’s- outlining a good start and end for their dynamic as leader becomes follower and the student becomes the master. Chitose: Aloof and carefree, never quite speaks up against Ryuji despite the shit he knows Ryuji is causing, but becomes more mature and manages to put Ryuji in his place after he loses control. Erika: A shut-in with a one-track mind (Ryuji’s little sister), doesn’t open up to anyone, not even her brother, especially LIES to her brother to protect him (and Ryuji does the same to Erika, outlining the fact they’re both trying to protect each other but simultaneously hurting each other in the process without knowing) but she learns to rely on Keisuke (Chitose and Ryuji are childhood friends, so naturally, she can’t tell CHITOSE her worries because he’ll get worried and relay the message to Ryuji, so Erika in a sense sees her oppertunity to open up and ACT once Keisuke joins Hudie) and opens up to HIM later more than anyone else. Chitose acts like a second big brother to Erika when Ryuji isn’t around, and he also acts like comic relief character that’s there to give Keisuke some time to relax between cases. Unlike the first game, you actually FEEL like a hacker this time around, giving you a wider variety of hacking options, including minigames (which sadly arent that fun but- hey, it’s something. The part that IS fun is the BONDS you get to rank up- THEY’RE LITERALLY CALLED “DATE TIME!” and they’re the ONLY reason I played so so many of those minigames).

The game isn’t dominated by women anymore (If you play as female in CS, you’ll quite LITERALLY only see Arata every couple of chapters in a sea of tits, and while this is usually an aesthetic I can get behind, I hated absolutely every goddamn female character with the only exception being Kuremi. I detested Date so much. Every time she opened her mouth I wanted to mute the TV. I absolutely LOATHED Nokia for everything and anything she did. I couldn’t stand Fei because of how aggressive she was (even if Fei and Yuuko was something I definitely would have shipped had Fei just been toned down, and LUCKILY- I absolutely love Fei now, but that’s ALL thanks to Hacker’s Memory- I actually like NOKIA now too- which is all thanks to Hacker’s Memory as well). I liked Yuuko bc she hit all my right notes, until she proved to be a tsundere in disguise (she also manipulated us and admitted to it so I quickly said FUCK NO to that and she dropped on my list) but even she managed to get better treatment in Hacker’s memory. I hated Jimiken too, to be honest. I disliked a LOT of characters in cybersleuth, but once they appeared in Hacker’s memory I? I saw a new side of them that I didn’t before. There’s 1 particular “Hacker Memory Fragment” you pick up about Yuuko that details her visits to the hospital to check up on her brother and honestly? This shit. This one hacker’s fragment managed to give me so much better insight into her character than ALL of cybersleuth. Now that shit is admirable imo. I admire Hacker’s memory for making me LOVE every character I disliked. Date was one character I disliked thru Hacker’s Memory too, but towards the end, even she grew on me. I still don’t like majority of her dialogue, but she doesn’t seem so one-dimensional anymore. My main problem with Cybersleuth was that everyone seemed to have “THE ONE MOOD” and that was it. I loved Arata because he varied a lot, and he and the protagonist had some really, really good chemistry, but that’s about it? Compared to how I love everyone from Hacker’s Memory, I wouldn’t even consider the two games on the same level, simply because of how well the second one was executed in comparison?

I took my time with this reply, because to me, cybersleuth was average as a digimon game for me. Cybersleuth had a villain i absolutely ADORED!! But they did piss all and nothing with him. He had such an interesting goal, but when everyone gathered to stop his plans it was like. He lost all motivation for his goal? What the fuck. You don’t even get to fight him he’s just. There. He was awesome, they shoulda done more with him, and my only qualm about hackers memory is that they STILL DONT DO ENOUGH WITH HIM. He gets a bit of a backstory without WORDS really it’s all implied and shit but it explains why he acts the way he does in cybersleuth. You understand the reason behind his actions now, what got him there, and his motivations more clearly. God I wish we got more of him though. Cybersleuth for me was a 4/10 as a game and a 6 or a 5/10 as a Digimon game. I’d honestly play DW3 over Cybersleuth if I had to be perfectly honest...

Now, Hackers Memory however managed to score 10/10 for me of all the digimon games I’ve played- putting it at the... top, actually. For good reason. The characterization is consistent, every characters motivations are clear, every character has reasons to take the actions they take, and none of it seems forced or random or even undeserved. Sometimes, you’ll dislike a character the game wants you to dislike. It will lead you in to turn your expectations around and force you to think of a character in a completely new light. You’ll end up loving each and every character regardless of how shitty they act because you can understand the way they think. You can empathise and you can relate much better than you could in Cybersleuth IMO because so many characters in Cybersleuth made me think “well, Angela, if you weren’t such a BITCH maybe i’d feel sorry for you” which was a perpetual mood tbh. I felt absolutely no sympathy for a lot of the characters in Cybersleuth bc I felt like they deserved the shitstorm they got. Whereas, in Hacker’s Memory, the only character that DESERVED to be punished, actually GETS PUNISHED, and the character that does something wrong goes out of his way to REDEEM HIMSELF. Now this is some tasty characterization I tell ya. 

To top it all off, because the game has to follow cybersleuth logic, I absolutely thought they were going to fuck the end.

No.

No, it was.

It was absolutely perfect.

It was emotional, it didn’t feel forced, and best of all?

It made sense.

As fucked up as the ending from cybersleuth was, in this universe, they can’t control their end because of the first game--- so this ending has to happen regardless of what they FEEL is fair. Which means, yes, the ending is unfair. But it leaves you with this... bittersweet feeling of longing- wishing they COULD have made a change. It’s a really nice metaphor for how things sometimes are out of our control, and we’re forced to deal with a fate someone else drops on us regardless of what we may feel or want to act on. We just have to make the best of it?

10/10 as a Digimon game, and 9/10 as an actual game because I do believe I am nitpicky as fuck and I rarely give 10/10′s but if I wasn’t a nitpicky fuck, this game would DEFINITELY easily be a 10/10.

If this ramble wasn’t indication enough, I really love Hacker’s Memory. You should definitely play Hacker’s Memory.

[simplybennnnett]

hi I am here to rant about how much I HATE that mack kept fitz's death from deke

so let's depict this line by line... starting from his conversation with daisy

~~~

Daisy: What have you been told?

Deke: Well, Mack was pretty cagey on the details-

~~~

deke has been gone for a while (being amazing)

so here's what we know:

he just found out everyone went to space

he probably thinks they went just cuz

mack told him about it

mack did not say anything about fitz in that moment

mack is the biggest jerk on the planet

no the universe

mack literally had a chance to tell deke. who cares if he left then, he's back now, he's here, just let him know where is only 2 family members are. it's literally not hard to say:

"hey, jemma and daisy went to space to go get fitz, because fitz didn't make it through the battle but there is another fitz in space and he is perfectly fine"

that's literally one of the easiest ways to say it

~~~

Mack and May are talking about something, Deke walks in:

Deke: Why didn't you tell me!?

Mack: *sighs* Might want to give us a minute.

May: *rolls her eyes* Gladly.

~~~

THIS!

mack was waiting for this conversation to happen

he knew eventually deke would find out and he just... didn't say anything?

please someone point out the logic

and don't say "it was just too hard for mack to talk about"

cause no.

it wasnt.

he has no problem talking about it now

and then there's may

deke walks into the room and sound so unlike deke

he's clearly mad

distressed

upset

you can hear it in his voice

this isn't deke coming to bother someone, this is deke legitimately looking for an answer. even if you don't know his question you can hear how serious he is. but may rolls her eyes and uuuggghhh her reaction just makes me so angry!

it's not hard to tell when someone is upset, I really don't understand why people cant get out of their pretty little heads to see that maybe they are not the only ones who have some problems

can you tell I'm sensitive on this subject???

~~~

Deke: Fitz died. He died, and no one was gonna bother to, I don't know, send me a text?

Mack: It was complicated-

Deke: Yeah, no kidding.

~~~

okay but it wasnt.

you know what is complicated:

fighting aliens

finding out you are an alien

losing a limb

losing TWO limbs

robots who are too human

time travel

time travel to the end of the world

THE END OF THE WORLD

things that aren't complicated:

texting a friend to tell him one of HIS ONLY FAMILY MEMBERS has died BUT it's okay because they have a way to get him back

it's not complicated. mack just didn't tell him. period.

~~~

Deke: Besides the fact that this completely proves my entire multi-verse theory 'cause I'm still here,

~~~

he was scared

deke was legitimately scared of what would happen if the time line changed

he probably spent all the time he was gone wondering if one day he would *poof* out of existance

he was scared

and he wouldn't have had to been if SOMEONE would have told him

~~~

Deke: -there's a second Fitz! And-and you sent a team out to find him, and you didn't tell me that either?! That's not complicated. That just sucks!

~~~

and he's right!

it does suck.

it would have taken mack 20 seconds tops to text him and that is the literal least he could have done

he should have said something

~~~

Mack: It was the call made at the time.

Deke: Well, maybe you shouldn't be making the calls because that was bad one.

~~~

okay I have like 3 things that I need to point out now:

1. mack made the call

mack made the call not to tell deke. maybe he consulted jemma, but honestly, I doubt it. jemma is such a family person she probably wasn't even thinking about anyone else but fitz at that point AND she probably assumed someone would tell deke maybe like *cough* the director who shouldn't be director *cough*

which leads me to the next point

2. he really shouldn't be making the calls

this is more toward the writers than it is toward mack

daisy should have been director. she has been loyal to shield and coulson longer than mack. she was there through the hydra problem, the alien problem, the outer space problem, the robot problem, and the time travel problem and she was closest to coulson right behind may. if not daisy then it should have been may. it should not have been mack. it just should not have been.

3. mack cannot come up with a justifiable reason as to why he didn't tell deke

OKAY AND NOW THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE

he can't.

he doesn't tell him why he made the call he just says he does. deke had a right to know and mack didn't tell him and he had no reason to keep that from him. there was no reason.

~~~

Mack: It looked like you had other priorities besides being apart of this team.

Deke: Oh, this team? You mean the team that I helped bring back from the dystopian future?

Mack: Yeah, you did that. Then you left.

~~~

This makes me so mad.

I have to admit I had to read a Wikipedia article to remember the deke's story but even before I did that, I know that he did not grow up with a good childhood. he lived in a place where people killed each other for food. he lived in a terrible place with no trees no sky no nothing. he lived in the freaking middle of space. he lives in a place with blue aliens that constantly tried to kill them.

and then he comes to earth

and there's trees, and there's a sky, and there's everything.

people aren't always trying to kill him there's food everywhere, he finally has it all.

there's just one thing looming over his head

if the timeline changes, will he stay on Earth?

I don't know about you but if that question was on my mind constantly, you bet everything you own that I am out doing the most that I can before I spontaneously disappear.

deke had every right to leave.

he had every right to go live his life, to go build a company, to go see the world, to go experience things. he had every right.

and even then. Even if he didn't have the right to leave, mack still had no right to NOT tell deke.

deke was still a family member to fitz, he was related to him. that gives him a right to know!

anyway mack is a jerk lets move on...

~~~

Deke: I would have gone on the mission to help you find him.

Mack: I believe you.

~~~

you can tell he doesnt

he doesnt believe him. at this point he is doing anything he can to deflect the conversation away from him.

mack probably just forgot to tell deke, but instead of just owning up to that mistake, he is creating excuses and deflecting the conversation away from his own mistake by guilting deke and telling him lies.

he will do or say anything to get deke away and to have him stop pointing out his own mistakes

~~~

Mack: And if we get things settled here on the home front, you'll get your chance. 'Cause I'm gonna pour every resource we have into getting back out there and bringing them home.

~~~

if deke hadn't found out, I doubt mack would have given him this chance. he probably would have continued on life without him. mack does not believe the deke is capable of anything good. He's just saying this to make deke happy and to make him content.

~~~

Deke: *nods*

Mack: But... until then, I need someone smart enough to fill their shoes.

~~~

if you watch the scene closely, right before mack says this he kind of looks around, like he's trying to find something to give deke.

he wants deke off his back.

a part of me thinks that mack thinks the deke is a joke. I don't think deke could do anything to earn mack respect at this point.

~~~

Mack: Maybe you can put that google-sized brain of your to work and help crack this tech.

Deke: What, you tryin' to flatter me?

Mack: Absolutely

Deke: Well... totally worked.

~~~

and if he wasn't trying to flatter de ak, and deek didn't take it so lightly, I would think that Max was making fun of him. sorry. maybe this is a stretch. but this is what I got from this scene.

also maybe put this into perspective.

deke lived in a dystopian world where he had to steal things to be able to eat. The chances of survival were low and nobody liked him. everyone thought of him as a traitor but he was really just doing what he could to survive. I think that he would give anything for someone to tell him that he is doing something good.

I don't even live on an alien planet and I strive for people to tell me that I'm doing something good.

deke is not self-centered.

immature? yes.

naive? Yes.

but self-centered? no.

He's just looking for validation and acceptance. and nobody on this stupid team is giving it to him.

except for jemma

but she's in space so.

no wonder he builds such a big company with a good atmosphere. it's what he wants. it's the environment he wants.

~~~

so basically what im trying to say is mack is a jerk and i hate him... thanks bye ;)

[the-firebird69]

Rape lawsuit trial puts spotlight back on Trump and women | AP News

https://apnews.com/article/trump-carroll-columnist-rape-lawsuit-trial-d42b3034c049cecd10718746ca87e1e4

Just asked me many times why are they having here why don't they move in such an idiot messing up their own stuff and I say this they think it's worth it now they don't it's kind of too late it is a huge mess up that guy has reverse thousands of years of work exposed plans that a secret for all of us and he needs to be on trial and I recommending it

Shaquille O'Neal he's right too his stuff is very stupid he became a black man so that his clone can attack him he's trying to prove that he's the programmer and he's not as Dave and we know it is and this guy Trump is an imposter and is so sick and delusional is rooting everything and no one will pull them out of there

I'm going to put it on trial now this is sickening it is going on trial anyways so what we used to cover it and the stupid mother f***** needs to go on trial that's part of my plan it's with the little kid on trial crisis is a mad man, when you light them up is much worse than Trump and everyone keeps lighting them up and I'm sure if we put them on trial he's going to be lit up and it's much much harder to do is anything against him because this a****** next door told him tons of stuff he's he's a he's a criminal it's kind of right too and the kid and something to do with it you have to get it all out there even though you don't want to and Trump doesn't get it he should. I plan to have them in there cuz who else would be able to build those ships nobody. So you have to get everything out in order to say that I put them in there and it's true you have to prove it's true and you're the one doing it too Trump and it wouldn't surprise me if you're the one who cares you're going to be nothing soon even if you got the AI they can't use it to get all this either using your people you think it's them who are making these huge forces coming and tackling the United States is suck it's so much in fighting that they can't get anybody to do anything

Mac daddy

Haha this is what really blows we have to take it back and the clothes do too they're sitting there in fighting so much even when we're forced to do it we're not doing it shows how hard it is to fight the max but this guy's right I went too far and I keep doing it and keep making them afraid every few minutes and these kind of things to countrr on me and I can't see. He says there are a few things like that like the dragon has some visibility and you captured one and the other one wants you did so I'm going up there is this character to mess with a female it's a big city though but she can shake down to human form in size I look just like you after eating up your idiots... No it says this they say so what it suddenly occurred to me you can see it in the movies there's a bunch of me wandering around me I want to know what the hell's going on here it says you're bothering the wrong person so have a nice night LOL this is not going to make any sense I can't tell who anyone is and it went too far it will warning me about the demons now I become the problem he said it too you said you're such an a****** you won't be able to stand it even if you're a rebel is count on it stuff like that to the letter but it might be about the matrix so I'm going to go read it cuz you probably put it there and Max is going to go after now

Joel

[generousbouquetchopshop-us-blog]

The only thing that we know for certain in life is that all of you reading this right now and myself will DIE. (NOT tonight - I just mean at some point in our lives - this is NOT a terrorist attack - believe me, I do NOT have malicious or evil intentions - well in my opinion at least, but sometimes our perception of ourselves differs to how others perceive us - but does that really matter? All I care about is what I think about myself) Wait, Hang On I Lied. There's one more certainty in life. That you and I are human beings. (Well, I do hope so. After all, I only know who I am. And only you know who you are) Yes I tried my best to think of an engaging first liner to grab your attention. (And if you're still reading this now - it must have worked!) I was just worried with all the 'clutter' and 'competition' out there that you could potentially miss this. And yes that's also why I have the photo of a cute baby. And also because we were all once babies at some point in our lives (well unless you came out another way which is not a certain opening in a female body) And before you amazing security officers out there, Who work super hard to protect your citizens, Even on the weekend (which is meant for rest with family) (and shout out to everyone in Australia who still worked today on Mother's Day -your sacrifice of your treasured time which could have been spent with your Mother (the technical economic term is opportunity cost - in case you were wondering - yes I know you all are secretly nerds) Will never be forgotten) Ok so back to you security officers Think of shutting this down, I assure you that this is NOT a security threat. It is NOT an act of cyber terrorism. 'So what is it then?' - you find yourself thinking (Yes I am a mind reader) Today marks a turning point in the course of mankind. Today marks a day that hope is restored in the world. What you are seeing today will be written in history books for future generations to come. We will make it in a Guinness World Record Book for 1. The most number of people clicking going on a facebook event 2. The most number of people posting on a facebook event page 3. The most number of people sharing the same message across social media I know what you're thinking. Well this girl sounds 'ambitious' Which were common responses I got Well yes, This is 'ambitious' I think so too But 'ambitious' and 'reality' are NOT mutually exclusive (is this the right term? I always struggled with probability in maths) But it's going to happen - keep reading on if you would like to see how history is going to be made :) (But technically, history is being 'made' every single day by each and every one of us just be being alive - even going to the toilet and eliminating waste is technically 'making' history) Every single person in the world will eventually receive my message. (And news outlets out there! Please choose a decent photo of me [ie. not one where my armpit hair is showing] Actually, I don't mind if you can find a photo of me with armpit hair. (Yes - that's a challenge!) (We all have hair - I don't see what's the big deal) (Why would you want to see a photo of me with armpit hair when you can just strip yourself down [yes I put this in just for you - you know who you are xD] and just lift up your arm and VOILA!!! Hair before your very eyes!!!!! ) (I'm actually super hairy In my opinion For a girl) Also, I'm going to keep on ranting about this (again, PMS is a real thing for the female population - have sympathy for us fellas!) Another thing I do not understand is why we must wear clothes And in some places in the world, Such as Australia, We can actually get charged with a criminal offence (and maybe be put in gaol) For stripping down in certain public places (with some exceptions such as nude beaches which are mainly filled with elderly people right now - I reckon we can diversify that a little) And showing our 'private parts' (but are our 'private parts' really even that 'private' after all if we all have them? (well I know it differs between females and males)) but yeah - and some of us have unique bodies - either born naturally or through operations - I respect that - it's your life and you choose how you would like to live it - and which gender you would like to live as and which private parts you would like to have) And in some places like Australia, Myth has it that the bigger something (something in a similar shape to a sausage) is The more masculine a male is Well to me, that's absolutely bullshit I don't know how these 'myths' even originated! All sizes are beautiful to me! Ok, so back to me and armpit hair: I filled in one of my friends' survey about hair and shaving yesterday. Why is shaving a thing anyways? We all have hair on our bodies (well some more than others but we all do) Why is it often socially unacceptable for girls have to have cleanly shaven armpits when they wear sleeveless tops or dresses? And why is often socially acceptable for males to not shave?? Now that is gender discrimination to the max! Why is this NOT written in the Discrimination Act in Australia?? (or maybe it is - I have to admit I haven't read it - and I highly doubt that my fellow Australian peers have either - but apologies! If it is in there!) And on that note of Discrimination, It is so real And close It still happens today in the 21st century!!! Right here in Australia This week, I had the privilege of talking to a beautiful Indigenous lady I've always been curious of Indigenous Australian culture (do you know that Indigenous Australian culture is the oldest surviving culture in the entire world???) WOW Because I certainly didn't know this. If Australia was a person And let's just say I was that person for theoretical purposes I would go around showing that off I would tell everyone I would tell the entire world I would be super proud of that I would make sure the entire world knows (but why doesn't the entire world know?- well maybe it's only me who is oblivious and ignorant and unaware - and maybe all of you do know this - please correct me if I'm wrong) Ok, so yeah. This beautiful Indigenous lady (and I do remember your name - I just want to make sure I respect your privacy before I decide to put your name here for the world to see because there's no way that I have been able to contact you) Said her dream was to become a cook (yes you go girl!) And she applied for a cook job recently. She was called in for an interview. But as soon as she showed up, They told her the position had been filled Now if that isn't discrimination to the max, I don't know what you call that I was super angry when I heard this. Now those of you who know me know that I don't normally get angry It takes quite a bit to get Leeann angry (I give off the impression of being a calm, controlled, sweet, pure and innocent girl) If I was present at the time, I would've taken those café owner(s) to court. And sue you for breaching the Discrimination Act Because the legislation is real and it is properly enforced (well I don't work in the legal field so I actually wouldn't know) But nothing in the world (I believe) cannot be resolved with Honest and open Communication. Just by opening our mouths and making some sounds (I think that's what we call a language), Together, we can solve any problem And we must learn to be accountable And take responsibility for our own actions Like a girl (why do we tend to say man? Are we trying to imply that females are less brave than men? My fellow female population Let's band together and prove them wrong -Trust me boys, you never mess with girls, We will make sure You Rue For The Rest Of Your Life Until The Moment You Die :) [just kidding XD- no I'm not kidding here] Yes, we must take responsibility for our own actions like a girl (I remember seeing a campaign trying to challenge gender stereotypes a couple of years back - that was awesome! I forgot what it was called though but I do remember it so it means it was effective) And I will illustrate this with something we all do -fart. Why do we feel the need to suppress our urges to fart? If you stink up a room with your own smelly gas, Then at least do it proudly! Make it as loud as possible! And admit it was you! And apologise maybe! OR, if that's too scary for you, I have another suggestion which has largely been inspired by one of my close mates (who I'm sure would probably appreciate it if I don't name and shame them - your very welcome in advance =D) This is no magic but You simply tell the person you're talking to or the people around you that you need to fart And head outside To do the deed. Then walk back in. And continue with your life. Easy. See, life isn't at all that complicated is it? (I know! I'm a genius!!!) Prior to my launch tonight, I shared my initiative 'Die To Live' with some fellow peers. I had many people who doubted me. But I also had many people who had absolute faith. Now, I don't blame those of you who I spoke to and doubted me. If someone told me that at Sunday 9pm on the 13th of May, 2018, Hope will be restored in the world, That the world will be changed And that it will be a major event in history, I will look at them And think they're nuts! (And no, in case you were wondering, I don't mean the pecan nut, macadamia nut, or peanut) And some of these people also looked like they wanted to lock me up in a mental health hospital. But what does it even mean to be 'mentally ill?' Am I considered 'crazy' just because I have different opinions that nobody else seems to have? Does that make me 'mentally ill?' (Correct me if I'm wrong, but in my humble opinion, that just means I'm a human being) While we're on the topic of 'mental illness,' Check out the School of Life and one of their recent videos Called something along the lines of - why the modern society makes us mentally ill I watched it over breakfast yesterday and could not agree more (i promise that this is not paid advertising/product placement or whatever we choose to call it) Because it's so good that I voluntarily choose to 'advertise' for them The School of Life does not need any paid marketing (yes you girls are awesome!) But at the same time, Yes, I get you. I wouldn't believe it either Until I see it unfold Before my very eyes Myself. But I certainty would not lock someone with different thoughts to mine in a mental health hospital, away from the rest of society. I would simply respect their opinion, try to understand and empathise from their point of view and then move on with my life. And I also had one special 'case.' You know who you are. You're the person I bumped into and didn't think I was 'insane' but instead thought I was plotting to commit suicide at 9pm Sunday May 13th and then upload 13 videos onto Facebook with each video incriminating a different person who lead me to end my life. -Just like the TV series - 13 reasons why Oh you funny!! (but I'm even funnier xD) But you had faith in me and that's all that matters :D Life is NOT a Television series!!! (For those of you who don't know what a TV is - it is essentially a virtual reality -trust me though, it's nothing special - and you're not missing out - because you're living your own reality instead - and I believe that is infinite times cooler than watching someone else's) But what I don't understand is why some of you who doubted me had absolute faith in science. (I'm not throwing shade here [or am I? - well too bad too sad because you'll never know what goes through my mind] but Shout out to that person I had an extremely heated intense friendly 2 hour banter sesh about science and religion a couple of days ago) Those words you used cut me But I forgive you Because I know you didn't mean it Because, in my humble opinion, science is a belief system in itself based off faith. For example, most of us in today's era believe that the Earth is round. And this is 'proven' to us through science. But until I personally travel up into space and view the Earth from a distance with my own very eyes, I refuse to believe this as an absolute 'truth.' (but even then, I may not even trust my own eyes - they could be lying to me - I could just be hallucinating) We often like to think we are 100% certain of many things in our everyday lives. Perhaps uncertainty makes us feel uneasy. In my opinion, we dislike uncertainty. Which is why we try to structure our lives and lock ourselves in some kind of routine to try and eliminate uncertainty (but this is simply NOT possible in my opinion - the only certainty in life is death - but even that's not even certain) Who said we should eat 3 meals a day - Breakfast Lunch And Dinner (for those of you who don't know what I'm rambling on about - because I'm aware you may or may not have ever eaten a proper meal (yet) - they're just names some of us use to tell ourselves when we should eat) Wouldn't hunger be a better indicator of when to eat instead of locked in time periods? And who said that we should aim for 5 serves of vegetables and 2 serves of fruit per day or something along those lines? (Yes it's a rhetorical question - I know who - 'official' nutritional guidelines or something I think) Because for me, if I know that the only certainty in life is death I would rather eat what I want to eat If I enjoy the taste of it But at the same time, it is all about the 'balance' (as Katherine Du likes to say) (there will be more on food and eating in the second part of my 'story' -I'm not going to tell you all of it now -just to make sure you keep reading heeeheheheee) And who decided that humans should sleep once a day? And it has to be at nighttime? And who came up with the guidelines that children need about 9-10 hours of sleep per night And that adults need about 6-8 hours per night? (Yes I know - it is scientifically 'proven' - but how did you scientists come up with these numbers? In saying this, I have the most utmost respect for you scientists -I'm just curious -it's hard work working in labs -I have some mates studying science/medicine and they tell me about their 4 hour lab sessions When I heard this, I was angry Because That's torture! Abuse of human rights!! Because I get hungry every 2-3 hours!!!) Wouldn't sleepiness and fatigue be more appropriate signals of when to sleep? Mum, I know you will read this. I did tell you that your friend's daughters will probably read my 'story' first Then tell their parents Then they will call you up And tell you to read this. (I wasn't at all wrong about that was I?) I have to main things I would like to say to you mummy: 1. Happy mother's day! 2. I love you Remember two nights ago when I got home and slept at 7pm Without eating dinner? And you were upset the next morning that I didn't eat your food? I apologise again if I hurt you, But I feel like it was not that necessary to 'lash out at me' when I asked (just innocently out of curiosity): Who decided that humans should eat 3 meals a day? OK so back to the science and religion 'friendly banter' I had Once again, the only certainty in life is death. (and I will repeat this numerous times throughout my 'story' just to annoy you - <3 - I challenge you to count how many times I mention that - and maybe there will be a prize for the person who gets the right number or gets closest to the right number! - just like those jelly bean in a jar guessing competitions! - just kidding - I'm not serious on this one - I can't be bothered to count myself - I have bigger fish to fry ;)) People thousands of years back were 100% certain that the Earth was flat. But they were somehow 'proven' to be 'wrong'. Now we (or just me) are 100% certain that the Earth is round. So in my humble opinion, we can only 'disprove' things but never 'prove' things. We merely get less 'wrong' each time round (Manson, 2016) But we are never 100% 'right.' Anything is possible. (Well maybe besides eternal life beyond Earth - but even that is not 100% impossible) So, an anonymous person who wishes not to be named recently brought to my attention how Fast the world is changing around us. For example, Facebook was invented in 2004 - it's only been 14 years - but I seem to hardly remember any parts of my life without Facebook in it) Wikipedia was launched in 2001 (and I didn't get this one from Wikipedia) (I don't know how I wouldn't 'survived' all those assignments without you! Thank you Jimmy Wales and Larry Sanger! And bless all you other inventors out there who invented something useful to humanity! Again, bless you all who believed me without needing to see it happen. You know who you are. I will never forget how you made me feel. There is nothing that fuels the human spirit like faith. (unless it's more alcohol) Complete And Utter Faith. Even my mother who raised me for 19 years and whom I crawled out of her (something - let's just say body) Doubted me. Yet some of you had utter and complete faith in me within minutes of talking to you for the very first time. And I reiterate again (mum, I'm not throwing shade at you here) If I had a daughter and she told me she's on a quest to change the world this Sunday at 9pm on Mother's Day, I (I don't know what I would do but I would probably not believe her) So….back to how Every single person in the world will eventually receive my message. I chose to use the word 'receive' instead of 'read' because I am also aware that language translation will be needed. TIP: Try copy and pasting this into google translate! (man technology does wonders!!!) And also because not all of us are blessed to be taught how to read. As to why I chose to use English, It's because it just happens to be the language I'm most fluent in. And also because, for some reason, English also happens to be the 'universal' language used across the world. I chose to use the word 'receive' instead of 'see' because I am aware that not all of us are blessed with the ability to see. I chose to use the word 'receive' instead of 'listen' because I am aware that not all of us are blessed with the ability to hear. I chose to use the word 'receive' instead of 'smell' because I am aware that not all of us are blessed with the ability to smell. (this doesn't really have anything to do with what I'm saying today because in my humble opinion, I don't think we can smell a story??? - well feel free to prove me wrong - nothing is certain in life besides death. TBH (to be honest), I just wanted repetition for a couple of lines because I learnt in high school English, that it will help deliver my message across) And I also say 'eventually' because not everyone in the world as it currently stands has even seen what 'technology' looks like, let alone have access to social media. That’s why I'm relying on YOU all to translate my message and communicate it to these fellow peers. I'm just one person. And I need your help. I can't do this alone (but I will if I have to -but ideally not!) So you find yourself still thinking…. 'Ok, I still have no idea what this post is about.' (Yes I am actually a mind reader) Apologies! I'm only human and I'm flawed and I do occasionally get just a little side-tracked and distracted. You're life has value. You were born for a reason. And I will prove it to you. (Yes - I remember whispering this in one beautiful human's ear a couple of days ago. This beautiful human was so selfless and looked out for me when I was not in the best state of self (this hero walked into the female toilets since I was chundering and got kicked out of security guards as a result) (this hero was prepared to take me home on a 1.5 bus ride at like 11pm at night towards a direction which was completely opposite to where he/she lived) (and this hero probably got some of my churned up mix of food and alcohol on them too - soz) (and I apologise again for that other beautiful human who I chundered on their hand -soz not soz - HAHAHA -I do mean it when I say that (now you're probably wondering which part I'm referring to [well you'll never know! Heheee - <3] ) And thank you to you too! You know who you are! I love our long-as text message chats! And that card you wrote me for my 18th last year -those words really touched me Even though we meet up like once (ok I may be using hyperbole here - I'll say twice) a year, You mean the world to me To me, friendships and relationships in general are much more than hanging out in real life, To me, friendships and relationships are more about having that emotional/spiritual connection with another human being To me, friendships and relationships are not defined by physical presence (although I do believe hanging out in real life is nice too - but life sometimes takes us in different directions - and that is not always possible) You may love another person dearly, but that doesn't mean you necessarily have to be together with a physical presence. 'True' love, in my opinion, is when you genuinely want the best for the other person And being genuinely happy to see them happy Yes that night at Metro Theatre in the city, I got kicked out by security guards within 30 minutes of going inside for a combined university event. I think (and you never trust a drunk person's memory) I had about 11 shots of straight vodka that night (looking back, that was not the best idea) Those security guards who kicked us out were not the nicest people. I know that Deep Deep Deep Deep Deep Down That you guys are beautiful people - just please bring it to the surface and show it to the world You could've been a lot more nicer. After I got kicked out and as I was walking towards Maccas (yas I love you maccas - happy meals were my childhood - why are soft serves $0.75 now? They used to only be $0.30! Inflation is a real thing! That's why I love economics! - I'm expecting a massive surge in economics students both at high school and university heheehee - economics teachers and lecturers - you are very welcome XD) In my drunken and semi-conscious state, I remember vaguely rambling on saying things like Why are people like this? Why are people so mean? Why is the world like this? And probably also crying my chunder out at the same time I was always that good straight A studious nerdy student who always did my homework on time and listened to the teacher in class. I waited till I was 18 until I had my first legal drink. (well I did occasionally have some sips of wine at home over dinner but nothing substantial until I turned 18 -unlike most Asian dads, My dad encouraged me to drink at home - he was more than happy! - you're cool dad xD - just wanted to let you know that) I was at a university first years camp when I had my first drink. I remember feeling sad because the alcohol was way too diluted -and I was too 'heavy-weight' -and I couldn't physically drink that much fluid to feel drunk because I was too full Looking back, I was probably drunk and was probably on the verge of my limit But I didn't know because I've never felt what it was like to be 'drunk' Then about a month and a half later, I went to one of my mate's surprise 18th I wanted to 'test' my 'limit' I drank as many different types of alcohol I could get my hands on Rum Vodka Soju Gin White wine Red wine Whiskey Tequila You Name It (well probs besides Maotai which is $$$$ - and we were all young dumb and broke uni students - yes Khalid I love you) And you can probably guess How my night turned out My face was in the bathroom sink for about 3 hours (well it felt like 10 minutes to me but I've realised my perception is super distorted while under the influence) Thank you to those who accompanied me for the entirety or a part of those 3 hours - I'm sure it didn't make it onto the best nights of your life list I remember feeling so ashamed after. I could not stop thinking about it for at least 3 weeks. My reputation! Like most people who chunder for the first time, I vowed that It Wouldn't Happen Again. (deep inside I knew it would because I just wasn't happy and I knew I would turn to more alcohol to distract myself from that constant emptiness but I didn't see another alternative back then) But my brother and mates weren't at all that 'wrong' when they said something along the lines of That's what they all say. Within a couple of weeks (or months - if that detail matters), I Unsurprisingly Chundered Again. And then I repeated what I said previously. And I got the same responses as I did before (kind of like déjà vu) And then the cycle kept repeating itself so many times that I lost count of how many times I chundered Because I stopped caring My 'reputation' was damaged beyond repair anyways And I was happy with the new me (the person who started to care less about what others thought of me) I was always that super good girl who was sweet, nice and 'innocent' (whatever that means) But what does it even mean to be 'innocent?' What's the definition? A lot of my friends had often commented that when they first met me I seemed like an innocent girl then they realised they were 'wrong' like super 'wrong' - completely off Does the fact that I love alcohol And the fact that I've chundered more times than I remember And the fact that I like to squeal at high pitches to the point it may cause long term ear damage (apologies to those people who I have damaged your hearing permanently) And the fact that I really enjoy raves And love waking up to hardstyle music every morning And chucking a phat (someone please explain to me why it's spelt with a 'ph' - I tried googling but I never found an answer - I guess you can't find all the answers to life's problems on google) Muzz To start my day Make me any less 'innocent'? OK so back to that night I got kicked out of Metro Theatre. It was that night when I realised you beautiful humans had my back. And I will forever have yours too. You are all beautiful. And I still remember that night like it was tonight. And I will never forget it. It is around 9pm here where I am in Sydney, Australia right now. There are approximately 7.6 billion people in this world (rounded to 1 decimal place and 2 significant figures - or 'sig figs' - I'm not talking about the dried fruit here) (according to the World Population Clock at 12:18pm yesterday - Sydney time) I may just be one girl. But one girl can change the world. If you don't believe me, I will prove it to you. (200% guarantee Just take a screenshot of this message When you visit me in gaol/jail [depending on where you live in the world] Effective for one year within today HAHAHA in case you haven't realised already, I'm only kidding) Why must we rely on legal systems and laws to protect ourselves from lies? Why can't we rely on trust instead? I realise that it's probably impractical to scrap our legal systems together -but I do reckon mixing a bit of 'trust' into the mixture won't hurt And I am aware that I live in a hole (not literally) I have lived in Sydney, Australia for most of my life Which I know is not representative of the entire world. Some of the things I talk about may make absolutely no sense to you. But I only humbly ask that you take a moment to understand what some of your fellow peers on the other side of the globe go through on a daily basis or have experienced Even if it is super foreign to you. (If you check up on the news on a regular basis, This should be no different I guess But probs maybe just a bit more 'spicy' and realistic) I'm sure you would like to same favour (or should I say flavour HAHHAH - gosh I'm so funny!) to be returned to you. Can I count on you guys (and the entire female population - I don't know why it's normal to say 'guys' for both genders) to have a read of what I have to say first And try not to act on any prejudice or judgement Before you decide to shut it down? Yeah, sorry, I got a little side-tracked again So… The only thing that we know for certain in life is that all of you reading this right now and myself will DIE. So what is the point of staying alive now if it's all going to come to an end? Why are we living to die instead of dying to live? All of us have a mother. (assuming you are all humans like me and started with 'something' that happened between a male and female) I love my mum. Without my mum I wouldn't be here tonight. Without my mum I wouldn't have the opportunity to connect with you tonight. Without my mum you wouldn't be reading this tonight. In Sydney, Australia, Today is Mother's Day. And it's no coincidence that I've chosen this day to connect with you. This is because today we show our appreciation for the beautiful and incredible woman who brought us into this world, whether she is here with you or not today. Today, we show our appreciation to the woman who sucked up the discomfort of having a massive bulge sticking out of her belly for 9 months. Today, we show our appreciation to the woman who suffered physical pain and bleed from childbirth. I don't think there can be any other pain greater than the pain of childbirth (well I haven't given birth so I guess I'm not qualified to say so) (Yes the cute baby photo was specifically chosen to capture your attention) Today, we show our appreciation to the woman who blessed us with a life full of opportunity. Mother's Day is today, in Australia. Why are we on social media? And I am no hypocrite here. Why am I myself on social media tonight? Why have we felt the need to create a 'Day' for all our 'Mothers' out there? Is it because, without a 'Mother's Day,' we will forget to love our 'Mothers'? Shouldn't our mothers be appreciated every single day? (Same for all the 'Father's' out there!!! I love you Dad) In the past, all I did for Mother's Day was go to the shops and buy a box of chocolates or some flowers or whatever was on "Mother's Day Sale." But I've realised there are many things that Money Cannot Buy. (feel free to prove me wrong here) There are many things that cannot be Bought And Sold Based on demand and supply on a Market (Yes I love economics!!!) Love. Time. Purpose. Faith. Hope. Life. The List Goes On And On . . . In my humble opinion, I feel like some meaningful celebrations have been overly commercialised in some 'developed' countries. I feel like Christmas Day is more about buying presents and decorating the Christmas tree. I feel like Easter Day is about eating chocolate shaped in an oval egg shape (or bunny or whatever fancy shape chocolate is moulded into to make it more appealing to buy and eat and make it seem different but at the end of the day it's just chocolate - well maybe different in the sense that it has differing percentages of cocoa content - I'm personally a big fan of dark chocolate! - I reckon 70% is just 'perfect' - well just 'right' - because nothing is 'perfect' but also nothing is 'right' - so yeah, I just contradicted what I just said). I feel like ANZAC Day is more about eating ANZAC cookies and buying things with the Australian flag printed on it. And I feel like Chinese New Year is more about receiving free money from relatives (as long as you are unmarried). Now, I'm not suggesting that you should all divorce or remain single for life and go become Chinese. I'm just telling you about my 'blood nationality' and our culture. Also, while we're on the topic of marriage, I am not at all against marriage (I think marriage is wonderful and Western white wedding dresses are super beautiful on brides), in my humble opinion, I don't really understand the point of marriage? To me, Love is about remaining loyal both physically and emotionally to another human of our own choosing (in my opinion, regardless of gender). Personally, I don't see the need to have my 'love' with another human solidified by the legal system under a notion called 'marriage.' I believe if we truly 'love' another person, We should be able to trust them to remain loyal (both emotionally and physically) to us without protection under the legal system And live together happily ever after (Yes I'm a big dreamer and lover of Disney and I believe in happily ever after fairytale endings with my Prince HEEEHEHEE) And, while we're on the topic of Princes and Princesses and fairytale endings, (I know we all love a good romance on such a dark, romantic night here in Australia and most stories told through mediums such as books and movies tend to have at least a touch of love in them And some have a bigger focus than others *Cough* *Cough* Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet) One of my favourite TV shows (back in the day I still used to watch TV) was the Bachelor/Bachelorette <3 But now I prefer to live in my own reality TV show instead of watching another's on an electronic screen To my Prince out there, (yes you know who you are) Who wishes not to be named (and shamed - hahah just kidding - Well, hopefully you don't find what I'm about to say to be too embarrassing) The way I fundamentally feel towards you has not changed one bit And I'm not talking about hate here (jokes! I lied! I actually feel even stronger towards you now <3) And gosh, No other human on Earth has ever made me cry as many times as you have. No one can compete with how many rivers on Earth I've filled with my salty tears. (everyone else reading this, please don't try to break the Guinness World Record here - I reckon I've had my fair share of tears and breakdowns) And I meant it when I said nobody has ever made me feel this way. (or something like I've never felt this way towards somebody - or the other way around - well I guess that's not important) (and well I guess it does make sense that everybody feels differently towards each person because they're different people) -that paragraph was very coherent - I know I've already told you this directly but repetition surely doesn't hurt! Thank you for always considering what is best for me in everything you've done. (Well I hope that's what you've been doing - only you know what's going inside that interesting head of yours) Thank you for teaching me the importance of honest and open communication. I would never forget that night when you asked me out in the most romantic location one could possibly think of. (Solid memz) (And great place IF we have any future anniversaries) Thank you for all the 'fun' experiences we've shared together (Yes you know which one I'm referring to in particular ;)) I hope we have many more nights just like that (well maybe just a bit more) You're a Tim Tam Because You're Simply Irresistible And you know which Guinness World Record of mine (or personal best) I would like to break ;) (please don't go finding another planet to live on to get away from me) And I love how we always go 'hunting' for the same places when we're out and about in public ;))))) I also would like to say that I miss you. A lot. <3 (AWWWWW) And I've been thinking about you A lot. (AWWWW) And Just like how I've previously never envisioned a life without a uni degree till this Monday, I've never been able to envision a life without you in it (and I probably won't be able to - but nothing is certain besides death - so I could be wrong I guess) I was never quite a full believer in soul mates Until I met you There was always a 'mystical' feeling I felt around you. I never understood what it was Until now I thought it was just 'lust' Or you were just secretly a 'fuckboi' (whatever that means) But I realised it was much more than that. OK, that's the last (massive) chunk of cheese I'm feeding you guys (for tonight). And I'm sure the rest of you have eaten enough cheese for the day. And I don't want to make you puke tonight. Because that's not my job -That's the job of your significant other <3 I don't know what you were expecting when I messaged you yesterday asking for your permission to have your first name in my 'story.' Well, since you said no, I assume you probably weren't expecting this. (man I had some great jokes I wanted to crack with your first name - GRRRRR) But again, as I have already told you, In this life, If we would like to have a nice and healthy relationship, We must accept the fact that we have the right to both reject and be rejected by others. And others hurt us but we also hurt others. That's just part of life. So, I respect your decision. I had to get that off my chest. Because now, When I'm on my deathbed, I don't have to be wondering what could've been had I chosen to tell you. Instead, When I'm on my deathbed, I can spend my last hours reflecting on what a wonderful life it's been Surrounded by my family and closest friends. Now, I've done everything I possibly could within my control. Now, it's all on you now. And please respect how it's a private matter between us two from now on. Your own love lives are much more interesting than mine. Trust me. Why would you want to see how someone else's story ends (or starts) when you can be writing your own 'story?' So go out there and tell that person you've been wanting to tell how you feel how you've felt all along! Be a girl! Growing up, it was always drilled into me that guys should be the ones chasing girls and girls should not chase guys. And that girls should play 'hard to get' Wouldn't life be so much simpler if you start feeling like you like someone, To say something along the lines of: "Hey. I like you. Do you feel the same way?" Then it can either only go one or two ways (Well we all hope it goes one particular way) And then you can move on happily with life and find someone else who also feels the same way and live happily ever after (well unless you're super unlucky and get a fence sitter And apologies, if that's the case, I don't have any further advice for you - you're on your own then xD) I used to think that expressing my emotions was a sign of weakness. I was 'wrong' (whatever it means to be 'wrong' or 'right') But I've realised it actually takes a lot of courage. It takes a lot of courage to tell someone that you feel hurt by something they've done. It takes a lot of courage to tell someone that you love them. But, in my opinion, by telling others how we feel, It actually liberates us. It allows us to make amends Instead of letting resentment build And then exploding later Like our own internal Big Bang Because in my Theory (I guess you can call it the Big Bang Theory), believe me, in my experience, I have exploded many times (not literally) By letting my resentment build (under the influence [heavy] of alcohol) If you don't believe me, Believe Bronnie Ware!! For those of you who don't know Bronnie, She worked as a palliative nurse for 8 years looking after people in their final days alive. And she writes in her book "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying," That one of the top 5 regrets she heard from people with limited time on Earth was that they wished they had the courage to express their own emotions. I used to put on a face and act like something that really hurt me didn't affect me at all. I don't understand why I aspired to be a 'psychopath.' Because a key characteristic of a 'psychopath' is that they feel no emotions. Our ability to feel emotions, whether that be: Happiness Disappointment Joy Anger Resentment Love Is what makes us human. Why do we attempt to 'dehumanise' ourselves? So back to marriage…. Again, I am not against marriage. Well, even if I am, why should you care? It's your life and you choose and how you would like to live it. And believe me, in my humble opinion, life is too short for you to spend a couple of minutes writing a nasty comment trying to convince me of the importance of marriage. (Well if you decide to do so, I'm absolutely honoured! because it means I'm super important to you because you care a lot about what I think) But for me personally, I would just like to wear a nice white pretty long wedding dress for fun and take some photos around my closest family and friends Anyways, got a little side tracked again. Back to the topic: I know that many of us struggle or have struggled to find meaning in life. I'm one of them. And I'll be sharing my story with you. I know if I don't wake up tomorrow, I can Rest In Peace. Apologies, if I have generalised or made false assumptions in parts of my 'story' by using words like "We." I know that there is no other certainty besides death. But sometimes, it is 'easier' to do so to illustrate a point I'm trying to make. I hope you understand. If you don't like what I have to say, you can either (Mark Manson): 1. Do nothing OR 2. Do something I value all opinions and perspectives. I only ask that you do so in a courteous and respectful manner. Growing up, my dad was always the logical one and less of a 'dreamer' than I was. I tried having D&M (Deep and Meaningful conversations) with my Dad but they never turned out the way I hoped. 'Dad, what do you think the meaning of life is?' 'There's no meaning. You live. You die. That's it.' Wow! So optimistic Dad!! I love you Dad! Growing up, you also 'tried' (and I use the word 'tried' because you weren't that successful in doing so) to drill into me that it was a waste of time and energy to 'care too much' about the world Because you said there's nothing I can do about it. I just have to accept life the way it is. Well, back to Mark Manson's two options, You can probably guess which path I decided to take (and it wasn't to accept it I Refuse to accept the world as it is) To all my fellow peers out there, If I have offended you, please let me know. I am not perfect. I don't try to be perfect. And I don't need to be perfect. And as much effort as I've put it and how hard I've tried to minimise resentment and offense, (Just like how I'm trying to be at the minimum point on the parabola And at the maximum point on the parabola with my impact) I'm only human. And so are you. And to further illustrate my point that nothing in this world is 'perfect' (apologies if this sounds like an essay), My 'story' is not fully edited. I've ran through it once - made some changes and this is what you're reading now. There are errors. There are bits repeated. There are bits that make no sense whatsoever. This is to further highlight my belief that nothing in the world is 'perfect' (or the real reason could just be that I'm lazy and cbbs editing it) LOL DISCLAIMER: I do not accept any legal responsibility for any tears shed Or any laughs shared Or any puke vomited from cheese overload in the process of reading my 'story.' (Oh and in case you haven't realised already It's also R rated And if you don't know what that means Adults only!! - just kidding, anyone can read my 'story') I reckon that our mental state would be a better measure of our 'real age' Because our age is just a 1, 2 (or 3) (or 4) (or more) digit number which doesn't indicate anything about our 'maturity' level (whatever that means) nor our 'wisdom' (whatever that means) You are reading at your own risk. Remember It's YOUR own life. And YOU choose how to live it. (Please show appreciation for the fact that I've been nice and have made this disclaimer at a font size that you can actually see) [Tip: Get a box of tissues ready (don’t worry if you don’t know what tissues are - they just help absorb our tears) You can live without them! Actually we can live without a lot of things If my house was on fire, i know what i would choose to take - nothing at all - nothing but myself and my family - I slept in a room with nothing [not literally] but a mattress laid on top of the carpet on the floor with a blanket, pillow, oxygen, walls, life and I was clothed too] And in case you were wondering, I didn't choose to do that for fun. My house was under renovations for a couple of weeks (we repainted the entire house and changed the entire carpet) And during those two weeks, I felt like I was 'homeless' I can't imagine what it's like to actually be sleeping out in the open on the streets Or being a refugee I felt like I was being kicked out of my own dwelling and I didn't belong - I felt lost and very uncomfortable OK, so here's my 'story'. https://leeannchn.wixsite.com/dietolive/single-post/2018/05/13/Lets-Not-Live-To-Die-but-Die-To-Live

[the-firebird69]

Rape lawsuit trial puts spotlight back on Trump and women | AP News

https://apnews.com/article/trump-carroll-columnist-rape-lawsuit-trial-d42b3034c049cecd10718746ca87e1e4

Just asked me many times why are they having here why don't they move in such an idiot messing up their own stuff and I say this they think it's worth it now they don't it's kind of too late it is a huge mess up that guy has reverse thousands of years of work exposed plans that a secret for all of us and he needs to be on trial and I recommending it

Shaquille O'Neal he's right too his stuff is very stupid he became a black man so that his clone can attack him he's trying to prove that he's the programmer and he's not as Dave and we know it is and this guy Trump is an imposter and is so sick and delusional is rooting everything and no one will pull them out of there

I'm going to put it on trial now this is sickening it is going on trial anyways so what we used to cover it and the stupid mother f***** needs to go on trial that's part of my plan it's with the little kid on trial crisis is a mad man, when you light them up is much worse than Trump and everyone keeps lighting them up and I'm sure if we put them on trial he's going to be lit up and it's much much harder to do is anything against him because this a****** next door told him tons of stuff he's he's a he's a criminal it's kind of right too and the kid and something to do with it you have to get it all out there even though you don't want to and Trump doesn't get it he should. I plan to have them in there cuz who else would be able to build those ships nobody. So you have to get everything out in order to say that I put them in there and it's true you have to prove it's true and you're the one doing it too Trump and it wouldn't surprise me if you're the one who cares you're going to be nothing soon even if you got the AI they can't use it to get all this either using your people you think it's them who are making these huge forces coming and tackling the United States is suck it's so much in fighting that they can't get anybody to do anything

Mac daddy

Haha this is what really blows we have to take it back and the clothes do too they're sitting there in fighting so much even when we're forced to do it we're not doing it shows how hard it is to fight the max but this guy's right I went too far and I keep doing it and keep making them afraid every few minutes and these kind of things to countrr on me and I can't see. He says there are a few things like that like the dragon has some visibility and you captured one and the other one wants you did so I'm going up there is this character to mess with a female it's a big city though but she can shake down to human form in size I look just like you after eating up your idiots... No it says this they say so what it suddenly occurred to me you can see it in the movies there's a bunch of me wandering around me I want to know what the hell's going on here it says you're bothering the wrong person so have a nice night LOL this is not going to make any sense I can't tell who anyone is and it went too far it will warning me about the demons now I become the problem he said it too you said you're such an a****** you won't be able to stand it even if you're a rebel is count on it stuff like that to the letter but it might be about the matrix so I'm going to go read it cuz you probably put it there and Max is going to go after now

Joel