#wouldn't want to ruin the experience of other people <33!< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[owlyflufff]

it’s a big win for the jjk and bokuaka stans worldwide OTL

[gabriellerudessa]

Compass (Norm Maclean x OC) - I

"Look at him, all smart at turning off the light." A voice whispered close to his ear, thick and rough. "Listen." The voice got even lower, and he did, even if unconsciously, half of him certain that at any point there would be a knife, either against his throat or through his back.

AO3 | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV | Part XV | Part XVI | Part XVII | Part XVIII | Part XIX | Part XX | Part XXI (Smut) | Part XXII | Part XXIII | Part XXIV | Part XXV | Part XXVI (Smut) | Part XXVII | Part XXVIII | Part XXIX | Part XXX | Part XXXI | Part XXXII | Part XXXIII | Part XXXIV (Smut) | Part XXXV | Part XXXVI (END)

PLAYLIST ON YOUTUBE

(I recommend hearing "Compass" by Sail North, it's my main writing song for this one, but there is also "Brave New World" by Starset and "Nails" by Call me Karizma, don't ask me about the last one, I don't know too. Good reading!)

Word Count: 4.323

Warnings: ... Wasteland Typical Violence

I

"Ran out the door some years ago

Slinging words at my old man like thistles and stones

Said: No need to worry, I’ll never come home

My mom crying: Don’t go, as I raced down the road

Straight through 'till Sun fell I kept up the pace

'Till darkness embraced me and I lost my way"

(Compass - Sail North)

He stumbled outside, forcing his legs as he heard the grinding sound of the Vault door closing echoing behind him. His feet slid down the sand and he dry-swallowed, steps fast amidst the ruins - he had been lucky, managing to escape that weird robot Bud and to slink around Vault 33 and reach the outside door.

He had thought of trying to reach out Chet, tell the others, tell what he had discovered... But the before of Vault 32 was still fresh in his mind. They had discovered, and it had led to madness. And people were still so tense... Either they wouldn't believe him, or they would, and then... They weren't made for this type of thing, too innocent and naïve as the talks about how to deal with the invaders had shown, and with no will of trying to learn more. Properly raised to be agreeable. It would only make things worse.

Norm didn't want that to happen with the ones he knew, no matter how... Complicated things usually were, how out of place he felt. And after all of Betty's veiled threats, after the deaths of the invaders, he was pretty sure he would either be killed or framed for those deaths. It didn't matter if he never told a soul, he knew too much, didn't complied when they wanted him to.

No. Leaving and try to find Lucy, tell her everything, that their father was not who they thought, was his best bet. Still didn't know what to do after, but still. Better than stay, silent and frustrated and unable to do anything.

Even if survival seemed equally unlikely above.

He stopped by a shadow, blinking at the darkening sky; he had been so desperate to leave before anyone really noticed him that he hadn't noticed how late in the day it was. Norm grimaced as he took a sip of water from his canteen. Night fast approaching, supplies far from ideal because of his fast escape, no weapons, no experience outside the Vault...

He better survive enough to find Lucy. She better be alive, or he would kill her himself again. Somehow.

---------

An old night vision scope showed the fire glimmering in light green, the electrified bodies of radroaches starting to pile around it. A reasonable haul for one night of hunting; after dry, it would sell fast in Filly.

If the Brotherhood didn't give her shit as she tried to enter the city. Damn, had they made everything more complicated. Why had they even come?

She hoped at least one molerat would stumble into it before the traps' batteries ran out; their leather was useful, and once treated reached good prices, especially with shoemakers - not as good as brahmin leather, but useful enough for the craft and one of her family's main income.

Moving the scope around the terrain, she kept her old, trusty hunting rifle ready and close by her hand. It was a shame the scope was so bulky; she had tried again and again to attach it to the rifle, but either it didn't stuck, or it messed up the weapons weight. Not even Mika had been able to make it work. In the end the scope just remained dangling from a leather cord around her neck when not in use.

She contracted her legs, keeping the muscles from falling asleep from her immobility in her hiding spot. She would be damned if pinpricks and needles stopped her from moving when needed.

Movement caught her attention at the edges of the scope and she moved it, centralizing the movement.

Through the shades of green, she recognized the human proportions. Too far away to identify too many details, half fallen walls and columns obstructing the view half the time but... Yeah, a person trying to skulk around the ruins. In the Wasteland. During the night. And... Yep, a lit flashlight. They were walking carefully from what she saw, sure, but... Did they have a death wish?

She watched some more, cursing the low resolution of the scope; more steps, going in a more open area, steps insecure... And the direction made her sure that soon the person would see the fire.

And in the night, would walk towards it. Maybe steal her haul, maybe take a shock and mess up her traps, maybes maybes maybes... Too many maybes for her.

"Fuck." she mumbled, lowering the scope with a scowl towards where she had last seen the person, just a smidge of a silhouette in the dark ruins, already amidst the walls again.

Still cursing under her breath, she got up, practiced movements hanging the backpack over her back and rifle over a shoulder in less than ten seconds, sliding down the old fireman's pole.

---------

Norm kept walking across the ruins long after the sun had set, trying to keep behind the half-standing walls and use his height to stay out of sight. The sounds of the wind across the sand and ruins around him low, rumbling, all-encompassing. It was unnerving after how silent the Vault was most of the time, just steps against metal and voices.

It was hard to process that wind could make so much noise when his only examples were old movies.

A space in the ruins opened ahead, and a small focus of light flashed across the night, reaching some walls. Frowning, he slowed his steps, carefully moving around the rocks and broken concrete, and his eyes fell on a burning fire, right in the open, on the top of a small hill of sand, almost detached from the rest of the ruins, and he stopped.

Norm could notice something glimmering around it, at some distance in the ground... But besides, it was just that. The fire, burning. No people, no nothing.

He turned off his Pip-boy's flashlight.

Something slid across his face and covered his mouth - a hand? -, a presence behind him, blocking the wind and the desert's cold. Damn it. Damn it.

"Look at him, all smart at turning off the light." A voice whispered close to his ear, thick and rough. "Listen." The voice got even lower, and he did, even if unconsciously, half of him certain that at any point there would be a knife, either against his throat or through his back.

First the wind whistling, the sand slowly being blown off, the crackling of the fire... And then in the wind a small, skittering sound, and as he watched the fire, something approached... And an arc of electricity, a high pitched but brief noise, something jumping and falling, too big, darkness and distance making it difficult to actually see.

"Radroach. Nasty things in group, kinda bitter, but food is food. Easy to catch if you know how." Norm filled away the whisper, waiting during a beat of silence. Still no knife, no nothing. "All righty, it seems we are clear for now. There is a house still standing with a door close by, let's go."

The hand fell away from him, and Norm waited for a heartbeat, but there was only the soft sound of a step, no other attempt at touching him, no knife at his back.

"Why should I go with you?" He whispered back, turning halfway, the light of the distant fire just enough to highlight edges.

It was enough for him to notice that the person was probably taller and bigger than Chet. Not by much, but still a terrifying prospect, because they had done absolutely no sound when approaching.

A chuckle, and something in it was distinctly feminine.

"You do you, Vaultie, but I'm going. Wasteland nights in the outside ain't pretty or fun. Just keep away from my trap, hm?"

The woman turned and started walking.

Norm watched, looked over his shoulder at the fire still burning, the bait for something he didn't even knew in a place he still needed to learn all about, which rules applied and which didn’t...

She was at the fourth step when he started following, another chuckle, a hand waving him ahead.

"Keep the flashlight off and walk besides me." Norm couldn't avoid a huff but did as told.

A rock made him stumble and a hand at his shoulder kept him from falling. He squinted at the night, tempted to light the flashlight... But the skittering sound replayed in his head, the fire a bait, and he kept it off.

---------

His eyes had slowly adapted enough to not stumble all the time, so it was easy to notice the silhouette of the woman stopping by an old and cracked wooden door. Norm doubted it would actually protect them from something, but it was better than all the half-walls.

She put a hand at the doorknob, another raising something to her eye, and Norm rolled his eyes. Of course she had something to see in the dark.

The door slowly inched open, hinges grinding, and he winced. She stuck her head inside for a moment, came out, took a rock from the ground and threw inside, a muffled bang reaching him.

They waited and listened, but there was no other sound for long moments, and she signaled for him to enter. The woman followed a moment later, carefully closing the door. The darkness deepened, only small cracks in walls and roof allowing slivers of moonlight inside, and the lack of wind blowing against him made him notice how cold it was outside.

"You can turn on the flashlight. I'll verify the rest of the house."

Her steps were faster than his hands, the light catching only the ends of leather boots - old, stained, but well cared and well made.

He looked around; sandy, but not like outside, barred windows keeping the night and wind out there. Some old chairs, three still up but not safe-looking. A table broken in the middle, missing a leg. A shelf, empty and stained but standing.

"No animals, the other door and windows still securely barred." The woman got closer, and Norm turned, the flashlight giving a face to the voice.

Yep. Taller and broader than Chet at shoulders and hips and... Everything, really. She looked able to break his neck with nary a thought. But she hadn't, he reassured himself.

Yet.

Jeans, shirt and short leather cape over shoulders, a type of bag-belt around hips and thighs, full of pockets, a hunting rifle slung on one shoulder. Clothes weathered with old stains, flakes of sand drifting off, and neatly mended innumerous times.

Above it all, a square jaw, rounded chin, high cheekbones, a large mostly-straight nose - it was pretty clear the bridge had been broken and not put in place correctly before the bone glued back. Weathered brown skin, hair a brownish-auburnish dirty color with strands against her face, metal rings glinting in her eyebrow and ears. He couldn't estimate her age safely.

And the scars. Those made him blink for a second. A large burn stripe at one cheek, scraggly lines across her nose, what suspiciously looked as claw marks at the other cheek, a cut from the bottom lip to the chin... In the harsh light of his flashlight, the scars looked deep, furrows marring the skin like rivers in the desert.

So unlike the invaders, with no facial scars to outright make someone suspicious, and at the same time something in the eyes and posture was exactly like them.

"Seeing something pretty, Vaultie?"

Her voice cut his observation, and Norm focused in time to catch the raised eyebrow and cheeky grin, a gap showing where she had lost a tooth.

"Just... " he shook his head, uncertain of what to say as she landed her backpack in the ground, things inside clinking. "... Thinking." he ended with a shrug as she released an old oil lantern from the backpack, positioning it at the shelf and lighting it.

He turned off his flashlight, the light from the lantern illuminating the room better in a warm, diffuse light that softened her face in a way that made him think that she shouldn't be much older than him, actually.

"Fair enough." She plopped down by her backpack, legs crossed, rifle besides her. "There are still some hours before the sun graces us, so make yourself comfortable, Vaultie."

He carefully sat down opposite her, eyes occasionally glinting towards the rifle.

That, plus what he now could see was an old scope dangling from her neck, and the fact that he had barely heard her steps, before and after, solidified in his mind that she could've killed him anytime, but hadn't. Why?

A zipping sound, and the woman took a canteen and a cloth packet from the backpack. A piece of what appeared to be jerky was taken from the packet, and the sound of chewing filled the room.

"Got food and water with you, Vaultie?"

"It's Norm. And yes, I do."

Not enough.

He didn't say that while he took his own canteen and one Fancy Lads Snack Cakes from his sidebag.

"Good." She nodded, taking a sip of the water. "And it's Marigold here, if you're wondering."

They ate mostly in silence, the wind still noising around outside; Norm watched and noticed how her eyes - mismatched, one brown and one black - didn't stay in a single place for long, head leaned this way and that at each different spike in sound outside, wide, thick lips twisting occasionally before relaxing. He heard those too, but didn't have enough context to say what caused them. Or where.

And he hated that, the unknown.

"Sooo, Norm... Is it ok of me to ask why you left your Vault?"

He looked up from closing his side-bag, and Marigold was mostly watching him, knees up and arms crossed over them. Why hadn't she killed him?

"To find my sister. She... Left some time ago."

Just his sister. No father, no kidnapping, no attack, nothing beyond Lucy, because after his discovery, he wasn’t certain if it was safe to go around saying all about that.

She frowned at him, a pensive hand at her chin.

"... I heard of a Vaultie girl in Filly recently, from a merchant..." Norm perked up at the snippet of information.

"Where's that?"

"Not too far, but I don't recommend. The Brotherhood occupied it recently, and they can get really frisky with pre-war tech." Marigold nodded towards his Pip-Boy, and Norm's hand covered it, almost absentmindedly.

"Brotherhood?" He repeated, and she grimaced, scratching at her head.

"Fuck. All righty, time for a crash-course."

---------

The lantern's light dimmed as the time passed, the woman pretended to nap - her fingers were just too tight against the rifle, no way she was actually sleeping -, and Norm reflected on what Marigold had shared about the surface. Not extensive, but enlightening.

Filly, a small city, where most travelling merchants passed through. Even if Lucy hadn't been the "Vaultie girl" Marigold had heard about, it was his best bet of where to find information.

However, the so called Brotherhood of Steel... Marigold had been clear in saying that meeting one on a day-to-day life was usually fine, as long as you didn't get in the way of whatever they were doing, their "mission", which usually involved pre-war tech. Filly was the first place she knew they had occupied, and while she hadn’t visited yet, she had heard enough of wandering trading caravans to know that, a lot of the times, when they occupied a place and insisted they had arrived to "bring order", things could get nasty, especially if there was pre-tech around or, as she had put very sarcastically "normal Ghouls and other mutants. God forbid people have consequences from radiation".

He hadn't asked details about Ghouls and mutants yet; he didn't want to go on a tangent.

She had never heard of them trying to occupy a functioning Vault, but she still said he should thread carefully when dealing with them, if only because his Pip-boy was still functional.

Norm hadn’t talked about it, but he was pretty sure that the cryogenic technology in Vault 31 probably would attract unwanted attention if they heard about it so yeah, that advice he was taking to heart. It was what had probably attracted that Moldaver woman, after all.

Maybe she was with them? Them why had she caused a bunch of deaths, kidnapped his father, and then just… Left? He was still missing something.

There had also been mention of more factions by name, but she hadn't gone in details beyond "stay away from Bounty Hunters, you never know whose price is up". New thing to learn: how the hell do you identify a Bounty Hunter?

She ended talking about some of the more common and obvious dangers of the Wastelands - raiders, slavers, cannibals, feral ghouls, and a dozen of mutated animals. Not as common as she made them sound, "no sir, I just survive from hunting through dangerous places and as long as one tries to keep to a settlement they should be safe from these".

"Until some maniac tech-hoarding zealot order decided to occupy such settlement, that is" had escaped him and she had laughed loudly at that.

The "crash-course", as she had put, had fizzled out and she claimed she was going to sleep, still sitting, and Norm remained wide awake, thinking, one single feeling taking hold of him, resuming everything she had said: it was all about survival, and too many people didn’t care if it meant trampling over others.

The “Wasteland”, as she had called, was even worse than he had thought.

And the people in Vault were talking about teaching and rehabilitating the invaders. They didn’t have the barest notion. And he was starting to understand that neither did him.

After how she had immediately noticed he was a Vault Dweller, and what she said about everyone and everything else, Norm reached the conclusion he would need to not look out-of-place, at least long enough to snoop around the mentioned city, Filly, and discover if it had been Lucy there and where she might have gone.

And he hadn't even started to think about supplies and the local currency she had briefly explained - "caps".

Norm sighed and pinched his nose. He could barely look in-place in the Vault where he had spent his whole life, on the so-called Wasteland? He doubted he had a chance.

"You should try and sleep a little." Marigold's voice cut the silence, the brown eye open and watching him.

"And you have been doing a lot of it, I see."

---------

Marigold chuckled, straightening herself.

"Guilty as charged."

She didn't tell it was because he thought loudly - not literally, he had been quiet as the grave until that sigh. Only, she had been hunting in the Wastes as far as she could remember, and she had learned that silence was louder just before something dangerous appeared to take you out. Not even her house was ever silent, with the generators and fans in the tanning room and the turrets and so many people inside at any given moment, never everyone sleeping at the same time because someone had to keep watch. Despite the wind and all the living sounds of the desert outside, the silence inside had made sleep impossible.

Silence fell again, and Marigold knew sleep would keep avoiding her. Abandoning the pretense, she watched Norm watch the room, his eyebrows furrowed in thought.

Half of her still doubted she had truly stumbled into an actual Vaultie. And from Vault 33, whose door she occasionally passed by during her hunting routes. Pristine, no signs of ever being forced open... She had always wondered if there were still people alive inside.

Now she had her answer. She just hadn't expected someone so... Small.

Granted, most people looked small next to her, but still. At first, in the dark, she almost had thought he was a kid; the pinpricks of facial hair against her hand and the voice had said that nope, adult man there.

And one of the neatest she had ever seen: the dark hair still combed, nails clean and trimmed...

"It's the suit."

"'m sorry?"

"My suit. The Vault suit. It attracts attention." Norm rubbed the leather wrists of the suit between two fingers.

Marigold couldn't avoid a small smile. Fast learner. He should be fine in the Wasteland as soon as he found his way of doing things.

"Not in itself. Enough Vaults went to shit and were scavenged that a bunch of suits roam around, but some people may know that 33 is not one of them."

"People like you." He frowned more at her, letting go of the sleeve, and Marigold shrugged.

"The door is in my hunting routes and there is no sign of ever being breached."

Norm nodded, still pensive.

Marigold tapped a finger against her thigh, lips pressed in a line; from where they were, her home was in the middle of the route to Filly, and she did had some things, scavenged and hunted, she needed to drop off with her parents and younger nephews and nieces before travelling to Filly.

Chewing on the inside of her cheek, she watched him some more.

Searching his sister. She thought there was more, but she wasn't about to point fingers and demand answers, people had a right to their secrets.

With half a dozen siblings, by blood and adopted, wandering the region like her or living farther away, hunting and scavenging and trading, she understood the uncertainty. The fear that something had happened. The only difference was that she knew exactly where her siblings were and how to find them if they weren't.

Fuck. Just last month her parents, all three of them, had said she was as sappy as all the rest of the family. She had really been thinking the “sappy gene” had jumped her.

Letting her head fall against the wall, she looked at the ceiling instead of Norm. It allowed her to notice that the cracks were starting to be illuminated from outside. She better do her offer, they didn't had much time to get moving.

"I could take you to my family. They'll have something you can use to cover at least your back. And, fuck, enough merchants pass by that someone might have heard something about another Vaultie, it would be safer than getting close to the Brotherhood."

Marigold looked at him only when she finished.

Norm was frowning so much that she bet he would get a headache.

"... How can I be sure you're not just attracting me to a better place to slash my neck or that your family is a bunch of cannibals or whatever?"

She could see he was serious, but there was just enough of a drawl in his words that it sounded slightly sarcastic. It was literally the only reason she didn’t take offense on the “cannibals”: human meat was sometimes used as bait by them, but never as food.

So Marigold allowed herself to grin back, raising both eyebrows.

"Naw, it would be a crime to slash open someone so cute." Her eyes slinked across Norm for a moment, don't bothering to try and decipher his facial expression, and yep. No fucking weapons. That suit didn’t allow much space for such. God damn it.

Sighing, she pulled a sheathed knife from inside her boot and extended towards him; she had enough knifes that giving one away wouldn't be that big of a problem.

Sappy indeed, giving away a weapon to someone she had just met in exchange for absolutely nothing. Thank God no one from her family was close, she wouldn't survive their teasing that she was finally a Whole Bear.

She also hoped they wouldn’t discover this, or the teasing would happen anyway.

"Here. Even if you decide to part ways. Knives are the most useful thing out here."

Norm took the knife gingerly through the handle, frown smoothing a little.

"... Thanks."

Marigold looked up again, natural sunlight starting to enter in full.

"Day is breaking. The Wastes will be a little safer now." She got up, turning off the oil lantern. Hopefully nothing would've had messed up her trap in the last hours.

---------

Norm would've liked to say that he had actually grappled with the option Marigold had presented for a long time, uncertain about his safety and her intentions.

It had actually just taken the time for him to unsheathe the knife and confirm that, despite the old blood-stains, rust-red against the brown leather of both handle and sheath, the blade was well-kept, sharp, bigger than the kitchen knives he used in the Vault. Useful. She could've killed him, but hadn't, and when confronted with "what ifs" regarding his worry about himself, gifted him a weapon, no strings attached.

Maybe it would bit him in the butt later, but for now... Well, she hadn't killed him yet.

Marigold had already left, the door not totally closed. Norm went after her, blinking and squinting in the bright light.

"Who would imagine that actual sun is such a pain..." He used the arm not holding the sheathed knife to try and protect his eyes.

He heard a laugh and turned his head, arm still raised.

Marigold was just a few steps ahead, half turned, smile in her lips, the sun bringing forth golden undertones to her skin and hair.

"I gather you didn't arrive during the day..."

Norm shook his head, lowering his arm when his eyes got used to the light, and closed the door of the shambling house. Marigold leaned her head to the side, still watching him.

"Are you coming?"

"You actually know how things over here work, so yes." He approached, storing the knife in his sidebag.

Marigold's smile got bigger and he slipped into walking besides her.

[simply-wlw-kpopstan]

33. Close your eyes

The moment you step outside your door, your eyes lock with jimin's. A chill runs down your spine as she keeps looking at you without smiling or any emotion. Once you're close enough she punches your arm, "how could you?"

"I'm sorry!" you exclaimed as you rubbed over the sore spot.

"where the hell in our conversation did I say to break up?" She raised an eyebrow at you, " What's going on in that head of yours?"

"i didn't break up with her. I asked to move slower."

"and then you disappeared." she crossed her arms, "she isn't going to reach out because you asked for time."

" I don't know what I want anymore." you sighed and sat down on the curb.

"do you still love her?"

"ofcours I do."

"then what's the problem?"

"I'm afraid that It isn't enough anymore, things got complicated."

"what got complicated? You're in your head and ruining a good thing. Nothing has changed, it's all a risk but..." she sighed as she joins you on the curb, " close your eyes for me." you gave her an odd look and she glared at you, "trust me."

"fine." and with that you closed your eyes.

"okay now think about the future- Let's say 5 years from now. Where are you?"

"still performing but bigger stages?"

"and now think of home life, where do you see yourself now?"

"I moved into a bigger place, Archie's playing in the backyard and I have a home studio."

"any pictures on the walls?"

"moments of my life I think?"

"describe what you see."

"pictures of me performing, some of me and somi and you girls, some of Archie and... Me and minjeong."

"tell me about it."

"we're smiling in one of them, in another one we're playing with Archie and there's one - it's just minjeong but she's crouched down and hugging a little kid while both of them smile."

"whose the kid?"

"no idea, kind of looks like my cousin? She recently revealed she's pregnant and the kid looks about 4 to 5 so.." you Trail off and shrug. You open your eyes again, "what does all of that have to do with my current situation?"

"you wouldn't be able to picture a future like that if you don't want that. I don't know why you're sabotaging yourself but know that you're hurting the both of you for nothing. You both want each other and that's something some people hope to experience." she stands up and starts patting down her pants of any dirt," you're not like other people. The both of you have careers that can disappear in an instant but that doesn't mean you have to live in fear. Take it one day at a time, love the little things and everything will be fine in the end."

"what do I do?"

"first off, get out of your head." she stretches and smiles down at you, "and then try everything you can to fix things with minjeong."

"how bad is it?"

"She's confused and hurt, can't blame her. Just make sure you've dealt with all your thoughts before you talk." she looks you over and you know what's coming next, "if you hurt her again, I will hurt you. Take that punch as a warning."

You nodded your head and bid your goodbyes. There were a lot of things you'd have to think about and work through to be able to be with minjeong again. you'll have to talk to her, even if you have to rip open old wounds. It wouldn't be the most pleasant conversation but if you wanted this to work you have to be sure. Sure that she means what she's saying and also for yourself, you can't dive into a relationship again without telling her how you feel or you risk despising her down the line.

masterlist | next

[poisonedpowder]

MEET THE MUN

tagged by: @gntlets (thank you <33) Tagging: anyone that sees it and wants to give it a go! <3

name ? Greenlee

pronouns ? she / her

preferred comms ? I prefer discord (poisonedpowder ; add me if we're mutuals <33) just because messaging is easier on there but I'm totally cool with tumblr ims, too! I will say I do only have my discord for this account on my laptop (yes, I have a separate discord for this lmao) so if it feels like it takes me a bit to get to your messages, I promise I am not ignoring you, I just am probably not at my laptop sjjssjsjs. Feel free to hit me up on there and don't be afraid to message again if you feel like I missed it or you just wanna poke me sjsjs I enjoy random messages < 3

name of muse ? Jinx

experience in rp ? About a decade--- but admittedly, it has mostly been on and off. My most consistent time rping was in the naru/o side of the tumblr rp community as Ino (murasakiirohana). Most of my rping has been on tumblr overall.

best experience ? Just meeting people and having fun making jokes or breaking each other's hearts with angsty ideas. I'm very good at the latter lmao. I like when there is a good mix of solid writing but also not taking it too seriously so whenever I meet people that have the same energy, it is a great experience <3 I also just love reading the in-depth analysis that people bring to their muses because it shows all the love they have for them that sometimes canon just does not.

pet peeves / dealbreakers ? callout posts. I have never entertained them and I never will. If you have beef with someone or just generally a bad experience with them, settle it amongst yourselves or block them. It doesn't need to be a group affair. I also just don't like it when rping is taken too seriously. It's supposed to be fun so I shouldn't feel like I am walking on eggshells, ya know?

fluff, angst, or smut ? When I first started rping, I was into fluff, but man have I leaned into the angst of it all. I get mad at canon for ruining my faves' lives and then I proceed to double down like the hypocrite that I am.

Some of my favorite testimonials from my friend about my angst issues:

So, overall, angst is my go to but I do love me some fluff. Heaven knows Jinx could use some, she barely gets any chance to feel loved without it going horribly wrong. As for smut--- I don't really do any of that, not my sort of thing. I wouldn't mind romantic threads, but I can't say I've ever shipped successfully lmao. Just never works out.

tl;dr: angst is my bread and butter

plot or memes ? Both! I think that using memes can be a good way to get ideas going and then it can lead to plotting. Memes are also just good to get interactions going. I do love plotting things out, too. So, yeah, both works!

long or short replies ? I'm fine with either but probably lean towards longer threads? It just gives us more to work with. Short replies are good for quick little rps and interactions though and they can be really fun sjsjs

best time to write ? Night. It's just the best time for me 'cause I'm not being bugged to do anything and I can vibe with my music which really helps my inspo for my muse.

are you like your muse ? Well, up until act 3 of s2, we both had having really long hair in common but the series decided to take that away from me hmpH. Other than that, maybe in some ways but certainly not others lmao

[error-dream-was-found]

ooooh okay, for the fic writer thing! 1, 4, 14, 16, 33, 40 and uhhh 56? bonus of 39 (if you want)

Thank you for asking <3

1. "Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?"

I prefer multichaptered fics ... my last attempt to write one-shot turned into 160 000 words long fic (still updating btw)

4. "Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?"

Everywhere ... seriously, it´s a mix of shower thoughts, 3 Am ideas and random things I thought of while reading another fics. For example the 'enderchest torture' idea hit me while I was reading some fic where to get Dream out of Pandora they hide him in an enderchest and my brain just went "wait for how long was he there? What was it like for him? Would it even be possible?" And I moved from there. That one is one of my less developed ideas but it´s a good example of my thought process ig. Or fics like 'monsters don´t deserve hugs but you aren´t a monster' came from that single sentence. I thought about it while reading some fic where Dream went "I´m a monster I don´t deserve nice things and it spiraled from there.

14. "how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?"

It depends on my mood ig? If that makes sense. Sometimes I really get into it and even make myself cry. But sometimes I'll ruin these characters lives with zero care. I certainly draw from personal experience as much as I can. Although I don't really have much personal experience with the stuff I'm writing about so *shrugs*

16. "How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?"

*counts on fingers* ehm ... well if I count in the half-baked ideas and all that ... I think I could have roughly 15-20? (I wanna talk about them T-T)

You already know about the superhero one (although I have new trauma for blob!), so I'll say a bit about a different idea one of my dremon fics perhaps? I don't have a name yet but the mail story line pretty much goes like this: Dream is a demon - cruel creature feeding off humans emotions, mostly happiness. Demons in common are manipulative, heartless and selfish beings that prey on humans.

The rest of the characters are mostly demon hunters (not sure on all members yet but Sapnap, George, Sam and Quackity are certainly there).

The plot basically begins when the hunters catch Dream. He's not very strong and thus not considered a serious threat. Instead of killing him immediately they decide to experiment on him (to learn more about demons), the problem is - Dream is the sweetest person ever. He's nothing like the other demons they've met and well it's kinda hard to dissect someone alive while they rant about the adorable cat that lives in the backstreet behind the convenience store ... (sry for ranting)

33. "Do you want to be published some day?"

Yes but unfortunately I'm not too good with creating original stories and my writing style isn't really good so .... maybe one day ... (until then the closest I'll get is printing my own stories ... that is also a way to practice book binding lol)

40. "If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?"

Honestly? I have no idea. There're just so many scenes I love and I'd absolutely love to see drawn. But if anyone ever were to make a fanart of my fic I'd be over the roof about it, I wouldn't care what scene it is I'd just be so damn happy that they liked the story enough to go through the trouble of creating the art. And any scene they'd pick would be perfect because then I'd know which scene they liked the most.

56. "What's something about your writing that you pride yourself on?"

... I'll be honest I don't think my writing is anything special, there are a few scenes I'm happy with but overall .... *shrugs*

But if there's something I'm really proud of it's probably the fact that I was able to write a story that many people enjoyed. When I started writing 2 years ago I never thought I'll have this many people not only reading my story but also liking it. Sure, it's not that much but it's a lot more than I ever expected! It blows my mind because I know that there are much better fic out there, yet people still decided to read something I wrote. It´s really crazy

39. "Share a snippet from a WIP"

daamn this is getting too long ... Imma sharing a snipped anyway! But what snipped .... I'm feeling like doing an villain arc today so I´m gonna post something from a story I haven't published yet and probably won´t be able to publish for at least few months:

Note: this story is still sitting in my drafts so the grammar check wasn't done yet, therefore there are extra grammar errors which I apologize for

He tripped over something. The tiny sharp rocks covering the forest floor dug painfully into his palms as he tried to slow down his fall and the pain shooting from his scraped knees pushed a new tears into his eyes. He just wanted to stay there on the floor and cry but hte monsters were getting closer. He can´t let them get him, he can´t! Desperately trying to wipe the tears out of his eyes, Dream stood up, only taking a second to glance back at the thing he tripped over. It looked like a fence … looking forward again, the blonde saw a tall dilapidated building. 

It was looming over him in the dead of night like something right out of a scary story his mom would tell him on these good nights when instead of yelling at him she'd put him to bed and if he was lucky she´d tell him a story. He wanted to ran away from the half collapsed building but as scary as it was the monsters were scarier. That building would provide him at least some cover and he needed that desperately. He won´t be able to run all night and the air was already heavily filled with the smell of rain. It was just a question of time till the storm begins. Encouraged by the hisses and groans from behind Dream ran inside. 

It took his eyes a moment to adjust to darkness that was even more prominent now. Once he did he realized he was in what seems to be an abandoned Prime church. He looked around nervously. The place gave him chills. It was clear that no one worshiped Prime here for years, maybe even decades and the place now had a sinister atmosphere to it. As everything holy did when it was forgotten for too long. The cracked, faded paintings of Prime´s angels looked down on him, it felt as if they were watching him, following his every mood. The wooden floors cracked under his weight and from the altar a soft clinging of chains could be heard as the incense swung in the light breeze. 

But the worst of all was the terrible feeling that he's not alone. That there´s something watching him. Someone. No, no he was just being dumb, this place is clearly abandoned. Maybe it's just an animal that settled here. Or these dumb angles. Yeah it must be the angles. It's dark and he's tired, he's just imagining their eyes moving to follow him. 

The first drops of rain hit the ground and a wind whistles through the abandoned church. Goosebumps raised to the surface and Dream shivered. It's just cold, it's just cold, it's just cold. The rain got heavier in just a few minutes. A lightning flashed through the sky and a thunder shook the whole building, just as a voice from somewhere in the shadows spoke up.

“Won't you look at that … a human. What a treat”

The question of who's there froze on Dream’s tongue as another lighting illuminated the inside of the church and the body less shadow floating in front of him. It had a distinct shape of human but none of its features could be seen other than two glowing eyes. It dived for him.

Dream screamed.

- story name: Sweet Little Nightmares (I'm more than willing to talk about this story :)

Sakra nechala som sa uniesť. Dúfám, že som ťa neunudila k smrti a gratulujem ak si sa dostala až sem ;)

[lords-of-mayhem]

nr. 4, 17, 18, 23, 24, 28, 33, 36, 50 for Euronymous x Dead ♥️

Sorry, I got a bit carried away, you can skip some if it's too much!

You're totally fine!

Asks about your OTP

4-What do physical trait do they love the most about each other?

For Øystein, he really likes Pelle's hair. For Pelle, he likes his eyes best. Although, they both love each other's smile/laugh.

17-What do they have in common?

They both obviously enjoy the same types of music and will bond over that, especially making up little song segments and just playing them together. Øystein also really enjoys being out in nature too, he just tends to want to do different things. Their personalities are also a bit similar, both have shorter social batteries. Although, Øystein is definitely better at putting up with social situations he doesn't want to be in. They also both get restless and enjoy going for late-night drives together.

18-What is their sex life like?

Sporadic is a good word for it. They don't have sex particularly regularly, just when they both feel like it. This sometimes adds to the fun of it because Øystein likes being surprised. Although, it's not always good. There are a lot of things that happen between them that can make the experience bad, a big one is arguing during. Unfortunately, they're both prone to fighting with the other and it can ruin the mood. (Although, it sometimes makes the mood better.)

23-Is there top/dom and bottom/sub energy?

Yes and no. There's definitely times when the top falls into the more dominant role, but they switch so often. There are times where the bottom doms, times where the top does, times where neither of them dom, times where neither of them top, etc. Their sex life is pretty inconsistent that way.

24-Are there any kinks or fetishes they share or don’t?

They both enjoy sex outside, although the weather has to be decent for Øystein to want to do that. Most of the nonshared kinks come from Øystein not wanting to do them. He doesn't want sex to include weapons or being outside in bad weather, he's iffy on blood, he doesn't particularly like letting Pelle finish inside when Pelle tops, etc. Pelle doesn't really care, they're not things he needs.

28-Are they jealous/possessive of each other?

There's not generally a reason for them to get jealous or possessive. Øystein doesn't like when people act overly familiar with Pelle, getting too close or acting like they know him too well. He wouldn't call it "jealousy" or "possessiveness" (it is), though. Pelle just flat-out doesn't see it necessary to get jealous or possessive. He knows who Øystein is with and it's no one except him.

33-Who is the big spoon and why?

They don't cuddle very often. If they want to be close like that, they usually just lay in Øystein's bed together. They both can be the big spoon if they do cuddle, although Øystein will complain about Pelle being the big spoon for a little bit before settling into it. (He likes it deep down, but he'd never say so.)

36-What is their favorite place to kiss the other? (Cheek, hand, closed eyelid, neck, nose, etc.)

I wouldn't say either are big on randomly kissing the other. When Pelle does, he enjoys kissing Øystein's forehead/hair. (It helps that Øystein is not fond of this practice.) Øystein usually goes for the lips or the throat. Pelle will kiss anywhere, although he does have a tendency to bite, so Øystein stays on guard.

50-Who would protect who in a dangerous situation?

Both would. There's the obvious ones that Øystein does, making sure Pelle doesn't freeze to death or bleed out. But Pelle would also protect Øystein the best he could in a dangerous situation, although it hasn't come up for them yet.

[gay-sin]

dreaming about alternatives & togetherness

sometimes i go back on instagram and it is soooo baddddd every time!!! i get sucked in and it makes me addicted to proving myself at an unsustainable pace even if i'm only on there for a little while. being offline also sucks though because it is so alienating. this world is already so alienating and it feels strange to compound my alienation by just running away from the problem. but what else is there? i linked a podcast above that i really love. this episode made me feel so hopeful for a future where sharing art online wouldn't be hell. because of the alienating hell of instagram and the lack of alternatives (although tumblr does feel somewhat better i think?) i often feel alone in my frustrations and desires for change. but obviously i'm not alone and i'm not the only one who is upset. there are really smart people dreaming up really smart alternatives and new ways of sharing/relating to art and each other online. everyone knows that social media as it now exists sucks but it feels totally obligatory. it's not though!

i want to talk about alternatives. fun ones!! new things to try!! even if most alternatives fail, i think that dreaming of a better future is what we all need right now so that we can fight to make it a reality. i often feel deflated and defeated about the world but today im feeling hopeful. this is what imagining can do to you!!

i've been trying to practice my own alternatives to instagram/social media for a long time even though i can't be perfect about my own ideals. i'm just one person and i think all of these issues need collective solutions. but until then... here are my own individual solutions that i've found that make my life feel more peaceful and connected. yes, a lot of them are about art because art and life are not separate!! here they are: emailing and sending letters to my friends, getting a flip phone and forcing myself to remain present and problem-solve in real time, creating art/doing things that won't be shared online, making art/doing things that i'm bad at/can't post about/take a long long time (process over product), creating art in the material world (i <3 sculptures), using art as play and experimentation (not a place for ego but for earnest attempts at discovery), collaborating with others in art, generally slowing down, etc...

the reason that i went back on instagram was to share that i made a zine. i wanted to make a zine so people that appreciate my art could interact with it in physical space that isn't instagram. ironically those people are all on instagram so i had to use the stupid app to break the news.... smh!!

i ordered 33 of the zines and they will be here in 2 weeks!!! im very excited to see how they turn out!! it is a collection of photos, drawings, & paintings that i've made over the past 8 years. it's mostly more recent stuff though. i just wanted to put them all together to map the things that I continue to make art about and also people that i've made art with/taken photos of over the years. my photos are really a collaboration between me and my subject. most of the time my photos are of those that i am closest to. the zine is full of people that have really meant something to me and that makes it feel precious to me. anyways... yeah. i'm thinking about people, places, ideas, & patterns that i return to. what is significant about those things? what do i bring to them each time? how do i recontextualize them each time that i return, with my new experiences and ways of seeing? how do they continue to shape me? i have no answers but i have questions and guesses.

i will need to charge $7 to make up printing/shipping costs for anyone outside of boston. if you're in boston, it will just be $5 and i can hand it to you. that will be nice. if you don't want one - that's also totally fine!! im just trying to stop complaining about how much things suck and do something about it all. well, i'll actually still probably be complaining at least a little bit. but i also want to attempt to find better ways of being. i want to imagine a better future. a future that feels less like a race, a competition, a path of endless alienation. i just want peace and love! that sounds dumb but it's soooo true.

[tumbleringismycopingmechanism]

17-38

17: Someone you miss

If you can miss people you've never met, then my friends on here. Otherwise not really anyone

18: Most traumatic experience

Find it a bit hard to choose, but I guess when my best friend turned into my worst enemy because I ruined her birthday

19: A fact about your personality

I'm not actually sure I have one

20: What I hate most about myself

Once again feels almost impossible to choose just one thing. For now I'd say my unwillingness to make changes just for my own sake

21: What I love most about myself

There's not really anything. At best I'm neutral about some stuff

22: What I want to be when I get older

If I wouldn't need to have a job where I make enough money to live I'd try being an artist. But as is I am not good enough to make any money with it. So far I don't really have any alternative that I think I'll be happy with, so I'm trying to figure out if it's worth being miserable...

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

Okay ig

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

Okay ig

25: My idea of a perfect date

Everything that means I get to cuddle close to someone I love (so it's probably not a first date). Could be cuddling and watching a movie or out on a meadow, covered in a blanket and watching the stars

26: My biggest pet peeves

Don't really know from the top of my head; I'll usually only notice when confronted with them

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

The guy I like rn is pretty fat, has a sweet smile and usually pretty nails. He's sweet and kind to me, and patient, even when I don't deserve it. I'm not sure he likes me back though, at least not as much as I like him

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

Don't really have a single person that I dislike most. Generally dislike Nazis and other hateful people most

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

To keep them from worrying

30: What I hate the most about work/school

That I'm not good enough to be good at it. Even if I ever managed to get all the learnable skills right, there are just some unlearnable skills that I don't have and never will and I feel like it will make my colleagues' and students' lives harder that I'm lacking them

31: What your last text message says

It's in German so I'll skip this one

32: What words upset me the most

Radio silence will upset me waaayyyy more than any words ever could

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

Words usually don't manage that; cuddling might, though I've never really had someone to cuddle with, so I don't know for sure

34: What I find attractive in women

I mean, I'm not really attracted to women so idk

35: What I find attractive in men

Looks: fat belly, thighs, moobs etc., stretchmarks, hair, kind eyes and a pretty smile, soft hands

Personality: kindness, wit, smarts, passion

36: Where I would like to live

No idea

37: One of my insecurities

My lack of emotional intelligence

38: My childhood career choice

When I was very young I wanted to be a singer/actress. When I was 11-ish I started wanting to become a teacher. Over the years the subjects changed but never the teacher part. Now that I'm almost finished getting my degree to become a teacher I wish I would at least have thought about other options

[valleynix]

The Fool. As in, the tarot card?

(With that "you have to remember" all I had in my mind was the "remember who you are" from lion king lmao)

"They’re right in front of you-

But they’re not real. They’re gone."

Can you stop?? I need a safe word.

"You won’t let her destroy more and more realities or worlds or whatever.

It stops now."

Yes, that's the spirit! Let's go!🎉

"It seems as though Cassandra has the most control over her urges after she drinks blood from a fresh source"

But little miss Bela will be out there saying she's managing it better than her sisters😭

🥺 Cass draw Reader and Daniela sleeping???? Pls that's so cute.

I wonder if she drew some more moments of her family spending time together. That'd be like family pictures :')

Idk if they have cameras out there so

There certainly must be something wrong with me, because Cassandra is extremely attractive when she's threatening the Reader.

My lil rainbow heart was at its limits doing all the Cass paragraphs 🥴

Reading with Bela 🥺

That would be such a nice experience I bet, her voice is so soothing like she could be talking about how she cut open a manthing in the cellar and that would be like a bedtime story.

Need her to talk to me when I'm anxious <\3

Yhm yhm nvm once again giving me a slap on the face with the sweet moment followed by nothing but pure pain.

Lunatic kinda fine tho 👀 I like their evil mind, games and plans.

Mmm mmm evil people who ruin the lives of others (if only it wasn't Reader's life ). It's a love-hate relationship 😭 we gotta learn self love

DANIELA 💘💝💖💗💓💞💕💟❤

I knew sth bad would happen once again 😩

The way they argued with Bela anyway, about leaving the castle. They couldn't escape it.

Gosh I hope the Reader won't fuck up with the timeline too much this time 😭

And for now I don't trust the woman from the cellar.

And damn what killed those maids from the castle. A mystery that is yet to be solved.

i love that i saw this just as i was about to start writing again hehe

The Fool as in the tarot card >:) i'm glad someone picked up on that sdkjfhskj (there's a shit ton of symbolism that i so far haven't really seen anyone mention just yet, but hearing this made me happy :D)

*THE SAFE WORD COMMENT LMFAOOO

*can't give up hope in these trying times >:)

*listen Bela just likes to think she has that control- little miss Bela "perfect daughter" Dimitrescu is struggling BAHA

*Cass 100% has a little stash of drawings no one will ever be able to find, and it's just sketches of her family doing things she can remember or that mean something to her :')

*also tbf Cass is just attractive no matter what she does. she could threaten to cut out my tongue and i'd be like "wow say it again" LMAOOOO

*so real of you </3 Bela strikes me as someone with a voice that literally everyone loves and wants to hear (cue Daniela begging her to read just because she finds it soothing for her nightmares)

*HEHEHEHEHE, i'm trying to get better at just comfort and not as much pain following it </3

*Lunatic is honestly really smart sdkjfhs, there is a method to their madness (also have you seen the fanart done of them?? bro is cool as FUCK)

*(i promise you will learn to like them more <3)

*IN CONCLUSION: DANIELA <3333333 (i'm on my laptop so no emojis but imagine i spammed hearts)

*some things are just set in stone, as we'll see more of >:) that's the unfortunate reality of fate; no matter how hard we try, sometimes we just can't escape what was already destined to happen at some point or another

*about that...

*i definitely wouldn't! she does mean well, but... yknow... the village is a scary place, and sometimes it gives life to scarier humans forced into a certain role by the horrid shit going on

*i think chapter ten briefly implies who/what killed the maids?? if i'm not mistaken? it's often difficult to know every little thing when we only see things from one POV >:)

i hope you're still enjoying it so far, though <33

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

papyrus and aloe vera <33

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?

The Last Time - Taylor Swift feat. Gary Lightbody.

I don't want to trauma dump so I will leave it with the fact that I associate it with my estranged father and the last conversation we had, but it is very much my "I love this song far too goddamn much for you to ruin it for me" song. It was my favourite male vocal collaboration song Taylor did until Exile and Evermore came out and I love how Gary and Taylor's voices contrast each other and how it feels like a push and pull/argument (much like Exile which is why I also love that song). Outside of the song per se I also love that everything I've seen Gary say about Taylor and the song since has been so supportive, especially since her announcing the rerecords.

aloe vera ⇢ what’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life?

Jokingly I want to say love, but realistically I've been very lucky (at least platonically/romantically, not so much family wise) in that regard, but yeah it really depends on what you see as mundane. I would love to finish writing my novel and publish something someday, but I know a lot of people wouldn't call that mundane so I guess if you're looking for something more day to day, I'd love to get better at cooking (I'm working on it lmao).

Send asks and get to know me

[miss-kittys-magical-library]

The Word Of Your Body Duet (Roland x Rin Davies)

Andante, Andante

Word Count: 2500

Warnings: angst, bit of fluff mixed in with smut, one outdated word,

A/N: Everyone has their secrets, but sometimes we need someone to share them with. Roland just chooses his last night to let Rin in on his. This is a follow-up to Songbird

Roland sat on the edge of Rin's bed while she paced back and forth anxiously in front of him. Since he came over earlier in the evening, they only managed to kiss until their lips swelled. Rin had taken her gloves off, but refused to touch Roland anywhere with bare skin.

“I don't understand. You said I do nothing to ye?”

“You-you don't,” Rin stuttered. “At least not normally. This isn’t normal, Roland. We've known each other for over a year, and until yesterday neither of us have given any inkling that we are attracted to each other. I mean who wouldn't be attracted to you? Look at you, you're terribly handsome.”

Roland cocked an eyebrow, “Handsome in a terrible way. I'll admit t’the terrible part. I can be a bit..”

“Of a twat?”

“Much. It's the handsome part I don't know I’d agree with. There's not exactly a line around the block.”

“I just don't like surprises. I've had things happen.. To me. I can't take that again.”

Roland reached out and hooked his fingers in the belt loops of Rin’s jeans. He drew her down into his lap, his arms held her in place.

“First you’re giving me motion sickness watching all that back and forth. Second will ye just bloody touch me?! Anywhere, you'll see something I've never told anyone at this school. Not that I have friends besides you.”

Rin’s heart fell. That really couldn't be the truth? Roland wasn't all that bad, he was just a little.. blunt. Not that she had friends, present company aside. It was difficult for Rin to get close with anyone in case their true personalities showed through. She had a knack for telling people their feelings before they were even ready.

“What if I don't like what I see?”

“It's nothing that salacious. Just a wee bit I suppose,” there was a shrug in his shoulder. “If ye don't like it, ye never have t’see me again.”

“Why do you keep saying that like another semester won't roll around?”

“I'm moving to Perth,” he said matter of fact.

“AUSTRALIA?!” Rin was gobsmacked.

“Jupiter!” Roland gave a mock surprised face that teased the girl on his lap.

Rin shoved Roland somewhere between serious and playful. “Oh don't be a bastard!”

“I can't be one! My parents were married!” his brows furrowed in fake consternation. “As far as I know at least?” He stroked his chin in deep thought.

“Can you ever talk without sarcasm or snark?!”

“I'm like Tinkerbell, but I must be acerbic to live!”

Rin’s eyes nearly rolled back in her head. The banter was so natural between them. In that weird way you never notice how much you want or need someone until they won't be there tomorrow. She became instantly pained. Rin had never felt as at-ease with anyone, sharing her secrets and her songs as openly as she did with Roland.

Now her voice was soft and sad, “What's in Oz you can't find here?”

“They offered me a place at their sister conservancy. I've got family over there too. What's left of them.”

Roland nudged his nose against Rin’s. He nuzzled downwards and along her cheek. Taking a chance in kissing her once more where his nose had been. He let his lips linger on her skin, so she knew he would be an open book if she wanted. Even if it was just a day or so before he left her.

Rin draped her arms around Roland’s shoulders before kissing him again. There was a heat, that taste of smoke. Of trailers and RVs all parked together around campfires and music. Then a spice of peppers as his tongue overpowered hers. His kisses taste like Travellers, once called Gypsy.

Roland’s mouth was hungry for her as he awkwardly reached for the hem of her shirt. Desperate to feel Rin, she could tell. All of her. There was nothing sinister about his intentions. Just fiddles and drums and whiskey.

In a blur of laughter and limbs, Rin and Roland clambered to their feet to strip down to their underwear. She flattened her scarred hands on his chest. For someone who could see into someone's mind or emotions, how did Rin miss his olive skin? Those subtle differences that would've given him such grief if others knew.

Rin said it out loud in the sudden quiet. only Roland’s wild heartbeat under her fingers and heavy breath that builds. “You're a gypsy.”

Her eyes focused on his body. An ache between her thighs as she glanced down at the erection inside of his boxers. He wasn't embarrassed. In fact, he was quite confident for Roland at this moment.

Roland’s hands were in Rin’s hair. Entangled so that they tugged her head upwards with a pleasurable pain. She was forced to meet his eyes as he leaned down to mesh his mouth with hers again. His tongue darted in swiftly before she reciprocated. He let his hands stray down over her body to the hook of her bra where he fumbled but only briefly before it came free.

“Not anymore,” Roland’s voice thick.

“I'm sorry. Traveller?” Rin was apologetic.

Her hips involuntarily pushed into his as she lightly brushed her fingers down his body. They traced around his waist to the small of his back. That dip just above the band of his boxers.

“No, I mean I'm not a Traveller or a gypsy anymore. Best assimilate with the other gorja. Being “normal” has made everything easier.”

There was a sadness now in Roland's flesh. It flowed just underneath the surface as Rin embraced him. Her experience with tents and churches and people “speaking in tongues” as her parents forced her to perform “miracles” on blind faith punters bubbled over her surface and spread to Roland’s.

“Wren. It wasn't like that. I'm sad because I miss them. I'm ashamed of turning my back on the people who raised me. That's where I fell in love with music. C’mon you’re ruining our last night!”

Roland let go and laid on the bed with his back to the wall. He propped himself up on his elbow and tapped the bed a few times. “Let me take care of you?” An eyebrow arched suggestively.

“You know what you're doing?”

Still, Rin laid down beside Roland on her back. He bent forward with a hand on her neck and pecked her lips softly. Once. Twice, before she opened her mouth and welcomed his tongue. They mingled and danced with each other as Rin slipped her hand inside the fly of Roland’s boxers so she could trace her fingers along his erection.

There was a sharp intake of breath as Roland’s stomach contracted at her touch. Rin knew it was more of a delighted surprise as her hand now curled around the shaft and began to stroke back and forth. Her fingertips worked up a friction as he finally exhaled heavily into her. Then, with just a moment’s hesitation, palmed her between the legs.

Rin’s turn to gasp in pleasure as he rubbed swift circles on her underwear. Teased her until a wetness formed that he pushed the fabric aside to get to. His fingers easily slid in and out of her until they almost started to play. Hooked and curved like she was guitar strings. Rin clenched her eyes shut in ecstasy as she broke the kiss to bury her hand at a pillow. With their guard down, Roland began to play.

Rin got lost in the way his fingers moved inside of her. They searched and learned as they went. She felt Roland’s eyes on her as he darted in over her G-Spot, but Rin thought that to be accidental. Still he forged on; only stopping when her body started to jerk just slightly. He kept at it once he realized that was her clit.

Roland craned again to cover Rin’s mouth with a kiss. His hand never ended manipulating her as he opened a door to her gifts. She was at her most vulnerable, and welcomed him in.

Roland stood just outside the caravan his family spent their summers. He and his Dá had their rows over the enrollment at the conservancy. How had he saved that much money, and why had he disobeyed the rules of the family? Every penny earned went to them, the community. Not some gorja school in Cork.

Roland knew if he left he would be excommunicated from them. He couldn't return, they would make sure he wouldn't be able to find them. Still, with his kit and guitar he looked ahead and never back. He wouldn't always blend in; when he hit it big, Roland would pay them their respect.

By first year's end, gifted students like him were set up with mentors. Someone who had been around the program for a few years. She was pretty with soul piercing blue eyes and jet black hair. Roland was smitten.

Unused to outsiders who moved kind of slow compared to Traveller girls who weren't afforded time. They married by 17 or 18; his own mother was only 33 years old while Roland was 18. Yet in his culture, sex before marriage was unheard of. They dated in large chaperoned groups, and being alone with a woman was forbidden until marriage. His mentor took advantage of that. Of him.

It started the way some flings do, innocent flirting. Then one day as they sat side by side on the piano bench, she stopped playing and made a pattern of nothing on Roland’s thigh. She lightly scratched the denim material before passing over his crotch. Roland played faster to match his breathing as she started to tighten her grip on his noticeable erection. She unzipped his jeans, delved inside his boxers to take his naked cock in her hand. His improvised playing matched the way she began to jerk him off. Frenzied. Clandestine. Wanton. His music and the way he felt were both.. Perfect.

That's the way she did it. Told him it was more fun to keep it hidden. Just between them when it was their time in the practice suites. How powerful it made Roland feel to have a secret like that. How she went down on him some days. Or when they finally fucked (Roland was convinced it was more) on the piano bench. She rode him while he admitted he loved her. He always said he loved her. She would ignore him.

His scores faltered a bit, but his teachers agreed it was probably the adjustment to conservancy life. He was still better than nearly everyone, which made his head grow. Until one afternoon when they were in the room. A surprise.

Roland laid on top of Rin, her legs bent around him. He dug through the pockets of his jeans almost frantically. He was pressed hard into her thigh, but Rin urged him inside of her.

“What are you doing?”

“I forgot a condom.”

“Doesn't matter”

“Do ye really want t’have a baby with someone like me?”

“I can't have them,” Rin was matter of fact.

“Oh.. I'm sorry?” Roland pushed up on one arm to get a better look at her.

“I don't know if you should be. I'm not exactly chuffed with myself half days, imagine me as a mum. With my,” she held her hands aloft. Roland kissed them.

“Then you're meant for so much more.” It was a whisper as he sunk inside of his friend.

Rin’s breath caught in her throat for the hundredth time that evening. She held Roland as he moved in her the same way his fingers had. Her hands splayed along his shoulders as they found a cadence; silent except for their breathing. Roland’s heavy. Rin's airy as she realized a little more about him.

She was married. With a little girl about 7 or 8. Roland knew her husband as the head of the classical music department. Roland’s department. He listened as they talked about him like an art exhibit instead of a human. technique not passion.

But the husband found out, and Roland was placed in the folk music program. It just made him heart sick for Ireland and caravans and Sunday night cèilidh. How he couldn't go back, but she had stopped him from moving forward. Folk music, HIS music, required love and emotion and Roland had been told he was only good for the technical.

Then he did something he hadn't done since he was 3 or 4, Roland just stopped. He'd play something that was mechanical and cold and hard like he would become. Even if Rin had changed his view these past few months.

Rin loved Roland in that moment as he rocked harder and faster. And he loved her. It wasn't the romantic kind; that was ok too. Sometimes you just need a partner to play music with.

Tag list: @robertsheehanownsmyass @nightmonsters @super-unpredictable98 @sean-falco @magic-multicolored-miracle @forenschik @crisis-of-joy @slutforrobbiebro @firstpersonnarrator

[angrycatlovesfandoms]

I posted 38.744 times in 2021

185 posts created (0%)

38559 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 208.4 posts.

I added 153 tags in 2021

#bella's pretty animals - 47 posts

#bella rambles - 37 posts

#bella is real - 18 posts

#bella speaks - 15 posts

#bella irl - 12 posts

#/j - 6 posts

#yeahhh - 5 posts

#technoblade - 5 posts

#lmao - 4 posts

#yes - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 126 characters

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Hi! Welcome to my blog

List of the tags I use:

#bella speaks : pretty much anything I feel like it's sort of worth reading

#bella rambles : i decided to scream into tumblr

#bella's pretty animals : cute animals :)

#bella-photos™ : pictures I take

#bella irl / #bella is real : pretty self explainatory

Might update the list as I remember

33 notes • Posted 2021-03-26 16:35:01 GMT

#4

All of us going to Fundy's stream unprompted cause we needed comfort in our pain and getting fundy to 200'000 viewers is very pog of us

38 notes • Posted 2021-04-29 21:18:53 GMT

#3

Please, liking, even though it might seem like it does, it does nothing. It tells me that you saw it, but didn't like it enough to reblog it.

I get it! I tend to reblog everything I see, but sometimes there's stuff I don't vibe with enough, and I get it. But from 72 people that saw this, only 4 chose to reblog? Not even ten?

And it's not because it's me, but because it happens to everyone here. Specially in the dreamsmp fandom, full of kids that don't get the whole reblogs over likes.

But it's not like that, reblogs aren't over likes, likes just don't mean anything. I would rather have 4 people like it and 3 reblog it, than 72 people liking it and 4 reblogging it.

So please, reblog when you can because it helps the community grow.

And also, please stop posting mcyt things in the Minecraft tag, it's not yours, and if you want to live happily in tumblr, respect each community!!! Don't ruin the experience for other people, you wouldn't want fan cams on the dreamsmp tag would you?

Have a nice day

54 notes • Posted 2021-02-01 09:18:07 GMT

#2

Is it just me or enderbees is absolutely disgusting and the people that ship it are too , because this creators have made it clear that they do not want to be shipped, also they are FREAKING MINORS

109 notes • Posted 2021-02-19 09:26:01 GMT

#1

May I offer you some memes in this trying times?

124 notes • Posted 2021-01-31 17:54:11 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[ahsxual]

Perfect Day

Pairing: Arthur Fleck x Reader

Summary: You and Arthur are excited for your first date, since it's an essencial key for your relationship.

Genre: Fluff

Warning: sexual harassment (literally one sentence, nothing too serious)

Word count: 2,7k

A/N: I don't know how to feel about this one... I wanted it to be romantic and cute, yet I feel this isn't enough to express my feelings for him... anyways, I really hope your opinion is different! :)

Gif Credits: @arthurflecc <33

Today is the day I will finally find true happiness, Arthur thought. Last day, you invited him to have dinner at your place, since none of you could afford an actual date, and that way you could spend some time alone. You work with him as female clown for a couple weeks now and that's where you met him: he, besides Gary, was the only one who's truly kind and respectful, not some jerk like Randall who would always make some unwanted comments on how pretty you are. With that, Arthur got the courage to defend you, a gesture you noticed and really appreciated. That's when you decided to invite him as a thank you gift for what he has done (and maybe because you thought he was really cute and a real gentleman).

To Arthur, that morning seemed brighter than any other he had lived: he could swear that the birds were singing to him, like it was a sign from nature and destiny telling everything was going to finally be ok... as long as he was by your side. This time, the sky wasn't covered by depressive and heavy gray clouds like every other day: instead, it was replaced by the sweet scalding yellow sun and the gorgeous shade of baby-blue. Even the stairs weren't painful to walk anymore and the runs to the bus weren't as stressed and tiring as they used to be. He came down the stairs bouncing with joy, like he was a kid who just got his favorite ice-cream flavor for free. People even looked at him awkwardly, but he couldn't care less. Nothing could ruin this day to him.

Once he entered Haha's, his heart started to beat way too fast once he realized he would see you in a matter of seconds. He couldn't wait any longer, so he quickly ran to the room of clowns, hoping for you to be the first thing he would lay his eyes on once he got there.

"Hi, Arthur!" you happily said as soon as you saw him, realizing that he had been standing there for a while, staring sweetly at you. However you didn't mind: you knew his intentions were utterly good.

"H-hi Y/n! You... you are very... b-beautiful today." he finally got the courage to praise you, to speak his mind out loud, even if he stuttered meanwhile. He was with his red waistcoat and pants, and a white social shirt, an outfit that suits him just perfectly.

"Oh, thank you, you look really good too! And I'm glad you liked it, I want to look good for our tonight's date." you teased him, just to see his cheeks turn redder than they already were. You were with your date's outfit on, because you were planning to go home right after you left Haha's. You wanted to surprise him, however he arrived sooner than you expected, so you didn't have the time to change into your clown's work outfit.

"A date??" he seemed surprised for you considering your meeting an actually date.

"Yeah, sure. Don't you want to call it that way?"

"Yes!! I mean, i-if you want to..." he correct himself, after realizing he sounded too excited than he should.

"Ok, great! Can't wait for tonight." you said gladly, earning a sweet tooth wide smile from him.

"Me too Y/n, me too..." after sharing an intense and intimate exchange of glances, you decided to break the reconforting silence between you. That silence told and shared way more emotions than any possible spoken word, but you couldn't risk any other coworker complain about you two to Hoyt.

"Well, I'm going to get ready now. Talk to you later, ok?"

"Uh... sure." he understood, giving you once again a thin, shy smile.

You both did your work for the rest of the day, not wanting your secret love to interfere and prejudice your professional life. Both of you knew how demanding your boss could be, so you better not test his limits.

The day was finally near to its end, so you went to your locker to collect your belongings and then change into your clothes, before joining Arthur who was already waiting for you outside.

"Are you ready?" you asked once you got near him.

"Absolutely." he calmly, yet enthusiastic answered. You wanted to overcome your shyness, so you slowly interlocked your arms with his. You could tell that he was a little hesitant by the sudden affectionate gesture and seemed to paralyzed, looking intensely at the spot where your arms found each other.

"Arthur? Are you ok?" you were scared that you crossed the line without meaning it.

"Y-yeah! I'm sorry, I'm just... not used to being touched..." he got upset, remembering how miserable and lonely his life was... but not anymore. That's the past, and now you are more then willing to change radically his and your future as well, putting all that suffering and intense pain far far away behind him.

"It's ok Art, you are safe with me, I promise you that. But if I do something that makes you uncomfortable, please let me know." before your lovely night started, you needed to make sure that he would be comfortable: you wouldn't forgive yourself if anything bad happened to the man who supported you and made you feel like the only beautiful woman alive, and you being the responsible for it.

"Thank you, Y/n. That's really nice of you... I really appreciate that." he made that sweet stare towards you, one that makes you melt right away every time.

"Come on Art, my stomach is already complaining." he happily laughed, and you acknowledged his smile.

When you arrived home, it was impossible for you not to notice: he was quiet, yet so observant with everything: sometimes he would even touch so softly your belongings, and you would just smile, feeling nothing but comfort and acceptance. How can anyone consider me as someone so essential and special in their lives?, you deeply thought. But that's just how Arthur was: he always manages to feel like it's only you and him against the world, the rest being irrelevant.

"What do you want to eat? I can make your favorite plate... or at least I can try." you softly laughed, feeling a little nervous by your kitchen skills. You really wanted to impress Arthur... especially on your first of many dates. He then looked at you with wide eyes, swallowing his dry throat from growing anxiety. "What's the matter? Did I do anything wrong?" you started to get even more nervous than you already were, now being you having your mouth and throat dry.

"No, no, you didn't do anything wrong! I-I just..." he paused for a moment, not being able to look at you since he felt very ashamed. "I'm not hungry... I'm sorry..." he said slowly with a low voice, derived from his embarrassment.

"Oh..." you felt a little sad if you were honest: you bought a bunch of food so he could choose freely what he wanted to eat and make this day special by making him a surprise... but you couldn't blame him: you knew about the secondary effects from the meds he takes, the lack of hunger being one of them. "It's fine, don't worry about it." you tried to relax him, which you did since he offered you a kind smile right after, just like his big, yet fragile heart. You tried to think of something else: you couldn't miss this opportunity to be with him, both of you being so busy with your lives that the time you spend together is absolutely rare and precious, being as valuable as gold, or diamonds, or even more. "I got an idea!" a cliche, yet romantic idea came to your mind. "What about... seeing a movie? Or a tv show that you really like? While eating popcorn, obviously." you winked at him.

"Sounds like fun." he smiled. "But... I-I never... ate popcorn. Never had the chance to try it..." he shyly said. You felt bad for him... in our childhood, it's the most delicious thing to eat, a sweet that brings us joy, happiness and even peace, for some. But now, him being in his middle 30's, how has he never eaten or at least tried it?

"Then seems like you're going to have this delicious experience with me instead!" you gently laughed, trying to make him more comfortable. This time he gave you a toothy grin, staring at you like he was in heaven and you were the only pure angel in it. You blushed at his staring, so you decided to look away and do the popcorns instead. "Make yourself at home! You can sit on the sofa if you want." you offered while pointing to the most comfortable furniture you had. He instantly obeyed you, sitting on it awkwardly since he was afraid of doing something wrong that could annoy you. Yup, that was definitely the last thing he wanted to do... mainly on this special day.

Once you finish the popcorn, you sat right next to him, being way closer than he expected. Not that he minded, no no, not at all, but he couldn't help but to shake unstoppably by the complex emotions he was feeling from the warm and soft human contact... from the most perfect human being in his eyes.

"Before we watch it, I want you to prove this delight first. But you have to close your eyes! It will taste better, I promise." you grabbed one popcorn kernel and signaled him to open his mouth. He instantly felt tenser and his frail heart started to beat furiously because of your gesture. If someone had told him when he first saw you, that he would come to your house and spend these moments with you, he would've laughed by the immense unlikelyhood. But here he is: in your house, with you. He shakingly opened his mouth, slowly closing his big ocean eyes right after. When he tasted it, it was like he was 7 again, living his lost happy childhood: it was sweet, crunchy and tasted like happiness, this feeling amplified with you by his side. "How is it?" you curiously asked while smiling by his reaction.

"This is so... wow." that's all he could say.

"You want more? This bowl can be just for you, I will do more for myself." the moment you got up, you felt your arm being gently, yet firmly grabbed.

"Wait!" he suddenly said, removing his hand from your arm right after, not wanting to scare you away. "I-I'd rather share them with you... i-if that's ok..." His shyness was something you could never be tired of: it's one of the words that describe him the best, making him look immensely cute to your eyes. You felt genuinely happy because he was making a move on you: as little or even insignificant that gesture was to everyone else, it meant the world to you.

"Sure, sharing is always better, right?" you shared a glare that spoke the untold love for each other, yet not unknown. "So... what do you want to see?" you finally asked.

"I don't know... maybe-" suddenly he noticed the tv, that was already on, presented the Murray Franklin show, catching immediately his attention. "Murray!!" once he saw it, it was like his shyness was never there: the carefree and excited Arthur who you never had the chance to meet, was now shown. You even felt jealous for a moment, seeing all his attention was now in the show.

"Oh, you like Murray? I watch him from time to time, the show is really funny." he turned his attention to you again, seeming surprised by your answer.

"You do...?" his grin shined even more once he discovered you had more things in common, one of them being something he admires and even considers as a dream, the main goal in his professional life.

"Of course! Who doesn't like to laugh and relax after a tiring day of work? Laughing is the best medicine for happiness." his smile broke, slowly decreasing into nothing. "I mean, when you really want to laugh, not when you have to." you remembered his condition, so you corrected yourself.

"I heard that my whole life, so I guess you're right..." he seemed mindful, looking and playing with his own worn hands. You gently grabbed his hand into yours.

"Don't worry Arthur, I'll make sure you really laugh, not just because you can't control it or because you forcely have to. I promise you... I will do my best to make you happy everyday." these moments and words were unforgettable to him. He couldn't see his life without you anymore: the only way he could be truly happy is by your side, the only way he could survive... is only by your side.

"Thank you, Y/n. I... I-I really enjoy these moments I spend with you. They're the only thing that make me feel happy and alive. You make me feel like... like I'm real and seen... and you have no idea how much that is important to me." you felt so proud of him for being able to speak from his mind and heart without hesitance, and utterly special for being the only one who entirely owned his trust.

"You don't need to thank me, Art. It's my pleasure to be with you, a man who's so kind and respectful like you. If others can't see it, it's not your fault. Like I use to say, it's their loss for not seeing someone so good in front of them. But I can see it... and we all only need the ones who really care about us in our lives, the rest is just the rest. They don't matter." now was your turn to speak the honest truth. He didn't have to say anything for you to understand how right and perfect he thought you were: it was like destiny was telling him to not let you escape... because you are his soulmate, his one and only person who came to this world with the purpose of filling him, to fill his heart with pure love, compassion and comprehension. "Oh, the show has already started!" both of you were so distracted or, should I say, so concentrated on each other, that you didn't even notice what was happening around you: the world always stops when you are together.

Once you decided to see the show, you shared the made popcorn and some laughs, Arthur always making sure you would laugh when he would. Every time Murray made a joke, Arthur looked at you, concentrated on your expressions while admiring your beauty. It was an incredible spent night: you laughed, ate popcorn together, supported each other... with time, you even hugged him softly, only for him to gladly return it, yet shyly, as predicted. If you two were honest, you would admit that you wanted so badly to share a sweet, passionate and meaningful first kiss... but that has to be preserved for your future dates, since the respect you have for one another it's incomparable to any other: you want things to happen naturally, without hurry, because what begins fast... ends quickly as well, and that's the last thing you want to happen, for sure.

This was the last piece of the puzzle that was needed to finally go forward your relationship: you belong to each other, like your hearts are attached and only function correctly when you are together, like the universe had and still has wonderful plans for you... and both of you are so glad to finally be able to be by your soulmate's side... forever.

[omglr]

patiently momming the shit out this fuckin' potential serial killer...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like feminism.

You: hi

Stranger: hi

Stranger: asl

You: 33 f

You: canada

You: you?

Stranger: m22 canada

Stranger: feminist?

You: yes

You: you?

Stranger: fuck no

Stranger: feminism is sexism and hatred of men, why would I support it?

You: meninist?

Stranger: not really

Stranger: just knowing the truth

You: where do you get this information from?

Stranger: online

You: ok

You: have you considered.... reading a book?

Stranger: no

Stranger: because with the ability to be anonymous online people will say the truth without fear of being outed for it.

You: interesting

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: Feminism isnt about equality, its about hatred of men and female superiority

You: ok, if you say so

Stranger: how is it now?

Stranger: not*

Stranger: women demanding a safe space free of men is seen as just fine

Stranger: a male only space is seen as "sexist"

You: uh, do you think their aren't men only space though?

Stranger: feminism cries about male dominance in politics and management positions , but when it comes to male dominance in jobs like trucking, mining, construction etc, feminists dont say a word

Stranger: there is men only, and to feminists thats seen as sexism

You: you seem a little worked up

Stranger: I mean, Boy scouts of America now allows girls in... wtf its the BOY scouts, girls want to be a scout? there is a thing called girl scouts of America too

You: yeah girl guides is a much better organization anyway

You: they also accept boys

Stranger: LMAO wow what guy would joint girl guides.

You: idk, a kid who likes camping and cookies

Stranger: I do like cookies

You: yeah, cookies are great

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: women are also entitled and selfish and think they should get stuff just because they are a woman

You: i think the word entitled gets thrown around a lot to describe people

Stranger: women expect a man to pay for the date.

You: but its mostly about folks asking for respect

Stranger: but I thought you bitches wanted "equality" oh wait...

You: like millenials are real entitled

You: for wanting jobs that pay a living wage

You: says boomers

You: who dont want to pay a living wage

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: but you NEED a living wage

You: yeah, we all need a living wage

Stranger: but women are entitled and think they deserve only the best of the best of the very best men who will do whatever she says and wants and no matter what shes always right

You: this seems like a narrow focus on what women are like

Stranger: its the truth

You: like, this is a pretty shallow stereotype that might be true for like 10% of college girls

Stranger: lol its true for all girls

Stranger: girls are shallow

You: but i guess if thats who you put on a pedestal, shallow girls

Stranger: all girls are shallow

You: mmmm, i mean, you might be misinterpreting women's intentions

Stranger: how so?

You: like if i saw you at a coffee shop and over heard you talking this conspiratorial feminist is evil game, i wouldn't be interested in you

Stranger: Im not 6'0 or taller, im not ripped af and I dont drive a BMW, your not interested in me

You: eh, again, i didn't say that

You: i'm not interested in cars or money or height

Stranger: sure

You: or muscles

Stranger: sure

Stranger: so your a lesbian?

You: but i can tell a dude is a self loathing weirdo pretty quick

You: i'm bi

Stranger: ok

You: women are easier to date

Stranger: sure

Stranger: im 22 and still a fucking virgin

You: for me anyway

You: yeah, that happens

You: some folks are late bloomers

Stranger: LMAO no, women are shallow

You: alright, well if you want to believe that that's up to you, but your world view determines your world

You: so if you can't open your heart and learn to trust women, you'll probably keep thinking worse and worse thoughts about them

Stranger: well im not good looking so...

Stranger: LMAO trust women... that is horseshit.

You: and find yourself in more situations where you can prove yourself right

Stranger: women are nothing but cheaters and liars

Stranger: let me tell you something?

You: ok

Stranger: I met a girl on here 2 yrs ago, shes down in Tennessee, we kept in contact on skype, became friends, fell for each other, admitted our feelings, fell even more for each other, hoped to meet one day, have our first times, maybe end up married and be forever. She met another guy and threw me away.

You: so, you were 20 years old and an internet girlfriend ruined your life forever?

Stranger: nope

Stranger: it just proves how unloyal and unloving women are

You: idk, that sounds kinda stupid

Stranger: plus my 3rd ex cheated after a month, not to mention other BS she did, I'll share if you wanna know,

1st and 2nd ex never even liked me

You: like, i'm being pretty patient with you here

You: this self loathing rap is pretty pathetic

Stranger: lol its hatred of women

You: yeah, its called misogyny

Stranger: and feminism is misandry

You: eh, not really

Stranger: sure

Stranger: women are hypergamous whores

You: eh, i mean, if you and i were the only people on the planet, i would say men are toxic dudes who have little self awareness and say abusive bullshit with so little life experience its kinda tragic if not a little dangerous, and that women are extremely patient and nurturing even to weirdos who don't deserve it

Stranger: sure.

Stranger: if you think im ever going to trust a woman again your insane

You: i guess it was more advice for your sadness but its up to you

Stranger: im not sad

You: eh

Stranger: I just know the bitter truth of life

You: i mean you sound angry, but its obvious where its coming from

Stranger: yeah

You: lol, what is the bitter truth of life?

Stranger: that women are nothing more than shallow unloyal unloving whores who only care about themself, love isnt real. together forever doesnt exist

You: are your parents divorced?

Stranger: never married, dont know my father

You: what's your relationship with your mom like?

Stranger: its fine

You: does she love you?

Stranger: yeah

You: is she loyal to you?

Stranger: i guess. im her only child

You: would she give you her kidney if you needed it?

Stranger: idk, shes not in great health herself tbh

You: would you give her your kidney if she needed it?

Stranger: yeah

You: well that's good

You: have you heard much about internet feedback loops and how it can hurt your self-esteem?

Stranger: yeah

You: i kinda think you should look into your online peer group and figure out if thats who you want to be?

Stranger: Im not on any forums or anything like that

You: like... behind the "women are all cheating selfish shallow whores" is like "a woman would never be loyal to or love me or find me attractive"

Stranger: that is true

You: and that says something about you that isn't true

You: that you aren't unlovable

Stranger: Im not

You: eh, you probably are, or could be

You: just maybe chill with the incel stuff

Stranger: im not. for one im not anywhere near cute. That alone keeps love away.

I have huge trust issues. A short temper,

You: have you considered seeing a therapist?

Stranger: no

You: i've been seeing therapist for like 6 years, they are pretty great

Stranger: well I dont need one

You: what about the trust issues and the short temper?

Stranger: you cant fix those.

You: yeah, that's what therapists do

Stranger: and all it takes is one asshole to come along and destroy it

You: they help you work through those things

Stranger: honestly, I rather just blow up when im man

Stranger: mad*

You: eh, again, you do you, but this is real good advice honestly

Stranger: im fine

Stranger: as for trust issues, I tried to get over it, just to be fucked over again

You: eh, yeah,

Stranger: so I will stay single

You: i have had shit come up in cycles through my life too

You: its hard

Stranger: yeah

You: anyway bud, i should go, but take care of yourself, enjoy this summer :)

Stranger: yeah, but you know whats painful

Stranger: ?

You: what?

Stranger: seeing a hot af girl at the beach in a bikini and knowing I'll never get to smash that

You: dude, just see a sex worker

Stranger: I dont wanna pay for it

Stranger: or get aids

You: eh, don't be cheap and use a condom

Stranger: I am very cheap

You: ok, well, put a fuckin tin can in your room, and everytime you think to yourself "I'm unlovable" but a dollar in it

You: or what ever mean things your brains says to you

Stranger: I've got a peanut butter jar of like $400 change in my room. just because why not

You: yeah, well $400 will get you a good looking woman

Stranger: yeah.. or it can sit here and be mine.

You: or like half an xbox

Stranger: ok

You: ok, good luck

You have disconnected.