#wouldn't queue like to see something strange?

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

happy 10 year anniversary to 'those are his hooves you bitch'

[ciciyup]

Yandere! Apollo X fem! Human reader headcanons.

cw: Little nsfw, obsession, possessiveness, dark themes, cheating? (I don't know how I should categorize it, but it's not a direct hoax), angst, kidnapping, forced marriage.

🏹 a/n: This is the first yandere! What do I do, I hope I did well. I was feeling quite inspired so I think a little story formed as well.

━━━━━━✧ 🦢 ✧━━━━━━

Apollo has never been one to worry, he is the epitome of beauty, no other God in the pantheon was as beautiful as he was. Being surrounded by women and men who are not only there beside him, but also queue for his attention, is something Apollo enjoys, attention and all eyes on him was something he loved.

He doesn't need to lower himself and have less, he must have all the best, that includes the most beautiful people, which was not a problem. Nymphs, goddesses and even mortals, rained down on him in droves, although the latter could not matter less to him.

Sometimes, among the millions of mortals that inhabited the earth, Apollo chose those who could stand out the most and had a unique beauty to take them with him. Sure they had always been adventures, he had fun with them, but that was all.

On one of his many trips around the earth he found you. He saw you picking oranges from a large tree, carefully storing them in your basket that was almost full. You were... Perfect. Your hair moved in time with the pleasant breeze of the day, your eyes were brighter than the stars, your smile could heal sore eyes, your voice was like hearing the singing of angels. You were so beautiful.

He didn't care much about you at first if he had to admit it. You seemed very common, very normal, just another mortal woman, however, something made him go to you. He didn't need to do much, just introduce himself and talk nonsense. You were nothing but nice and kind, you offered to help him find his way if he was lost, you asked him if he was hungry and offered him an orange.

He just looked for silly excuses to make more time and get to know you better, he lamented when you told him that your family was waiting for you and you couldn't stay. He watched your form as you left his vision until you were lost, your beautiful floral dress disappearing into the crowd and being replaced by sad shades of colors from people walking on their own path.

What made you so special? Was it the way you were so kind and modest with everyone else? Was it the way you saw things? Apollo, not having enough, kept seeing you regularly on different occasions, strangely always appearing out of nowhere when you were alone in some places or doing your own tasks. At first, it didn't seem strange to you, you thought it was just a coincidence, which made Apollo take advantage of your naivety even more.

Apollo thought you would fall at his feet as soon as he saw you, he wouldn't even need three days to leave you enchanted, but then it happens and he hits reality. He discovers that you are not interested in him in the slightest, at least not in the way he wants. You don't even worship the gods, you're not interested in them, you don't bring offerings or pray to them like other mortals. You don't lose yourself in him, you don't beg for attention, you don't adore him, you just see him as if he were just another man and that made Apollo's blood boil.

So when Apollo proposes to you and to go with him, you politely decline, feeling flattered, but refusing because you don't love him and you don't feel the same way. Apollo's face contorts, his brow furrows quickly and he tries to hide his inner side as best he can. His ego felt hurt, was he rejected by a mere mortal?

You move on with your life, Apollo seemed to have taken it well and wasn't upset, that's what you believed after he left. When you think everything is fine, he arrives silently to take what is his, what belonged to him from the beginning. No more games, there would be no more facades of the just and understanding God, he lets the true face of the coin come to light, then you don't have time to react.

He takes you, sees you walking towards your house and surprises you there. Your basket falls with a thud and the fruit falls scattered all over the floor, but no one else was there anymore.

Upon arriving at his kingdom, Apollo introduces you to it as your new home, showing you all the places keeping you close, holding your wrist so you wouldn't run away, even though there was nowhere to run, you were too far from earth and you wouldn't be coming back, he would make sure of that.

You resist for a long time, you don't want to talk to him or look at him or kiss him or touch him, you don't want his presence. Apollo doesn't want to be mean to you, he really doesn't, but your impertinence pissed him off, and when you didn't learn things there were consequences.

He pushes you into a room after you refused to sleep with him in what would be your shared room, the room was cold and almost empty, it had a mirror and a small couch, it didn't seem to be very frequented by anyone, since you could even see cracks in the walls. He dared to leave you there for almost four days, without seeing you even once, without leaving you food or water or any other basic resources, and when he decided to see you, believing that you had learned your lesson, he found you on the floor of the room almost dying.

You were pale, your lips dry, you could barely move, your stomach hurt from the lack of food and your throat was crying out for some water.

As he carried you to his shared room and laid you there, as he watched you eat the food voraciously and drink more than six glasses of water, as he watched you rest covered by the finest and warmest blankets on his bed, yes, now you would learn that things would be his way, you had no say in any decision, you would only focus on him.

And even after you became his beloved, faithful and devoted wife with the finest jewelry and the most beautiful dresses, he would remain the same, not even for you would he change. As you sat on a rock in front of the beautiful landscape of the place thinking about everything he had taken from you, Apollo was no less than a meter away from you in the hot springs with the nymphs at his side, each one laughing and talking to him, hugging and tracing his chest with their thumbs at the slightest opportunity. He relaxed with each one, every now and then, ignoring your presence, ignoring your pain.

Still, he refused to let you go. He didn’t care about silly nymphs, they were just for hanging out and feeling adored, if he didn’t have you he had nothing. He wanted you by his side, in the hot springs, on another throne next to him, in meetings with other gods, he wanted you.

It was only a matter of time, he would fuck you so hard you would carry his child and then he would finally have you with no chance of escape. He would take you every night in his marital bed and fill your belly until it was full and swollen, he would bury himself deep inside you to fill you again and again with his seed and he would claim you. You were his. You were from the first moment he saw you.

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🏹 a/n: I didn't think I would like it so much but in the end I really liked the result. I wrote it in less than two hours, although it is revised I am sorry if there are any errors. I was thinking of doing more yandere! For other characters, I like the theme. I have ideas for the next one so wait for it (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡

—cici🏹

[lingeringdesires505]

to be loved

nagi seishiro x reader

fluff

nagi always thought of everything as a pain or a hassle, to him, even breathing was a pain. to him, all that mattered was that he was alive and well enough to do the two things he was most passionate about - soccer and video games.

the man was so lazy he didnt even bother to cook his own meals and resorted to cooking instant noodles and even skipping meals sometimes.

eat, play, sleep, repeat.

that was until he met you.

the first time he saw you was at a video game store, queuing up to buy a highly anticipated game that just released. the moment he joined the queue, he took notice of you. he couldn't exactly figure out why he was so attracted to you. maybe it was the way your facial features complimented the most beautiful smile he had ever seen as you tap away on your phone, or the way you tucked your hair behind your ear so that it wouldn't obstruct your face.

dont get him wrong, nagi had seen really pretty girls before, but up to that point in time, he had never seen anyone as beautiful as you.

soon enough, his stare caught your attention. the moment nagi made eye contact with you, it felt as if time had stopped there and then. the moment you flashed a small smile at him, trying to be friendly, he felt his heart racing. what was this unfamiliar feeling stirring inside of him? this strange feeling hes never felt before. nagi quickly looked away in embarrassment, his cheeks turning red.

you slowly walking towards him to stand behind him in the queue didnt help the fact that the poor man was as red as a tomato.

since the queue was pretty long and you had nothing else to do but wait, you decided to talk to the tall, white haired stranger in front of you, especially since he was queuing to buy the same new game as you.

soon, the small talk turned into a full blown conversation. turns out, nagi and you had a lot in common. the two of you both enjoyed playing the same games and going to the arcade.

just as the two of you had made your purchases, nagi started panicking as he saw you bid goodbye to him while walking towards the exit.

this couldnt be it. this couldnt be the end. no, nagi didnt want this to end, he wasnt content with the thought that he may never see someone as precious and beautiful as you again. even though nagi had never taken any initiative to do anything but play soccer and video games, he couldnt just stand there and see you become nothing but a stranger again.

before meeting you, he had never been so comfortable around someone so fast. before you, he had never gotten along with anyone so well. (totally not because he found it bothersome to speak to others )

that day was the first time he had ever done something on his own initiative.

the tall man briskly jogged towards you, blocking the way to the exit in front of you, and shyly asked for your number.

nagi was a little worried about how you would respond to such a request. was it too weird to ask for someones number like that? maybe he should have listened to reo when he used to ramble about how he managed to woo his girlfriend...

to his delight, you took out a pen from your pocket and wrote your number on the receipt you received when you made your purchase before handing it to him, flashing yet another beautiful smile that made nagi giddy.

from that day onwards, nagi's life was never the same again.

things he used to find bothersome to do, didnt seem to be bothersome to him anymore, of course, only if it was you who asked him to do it.

nagi had always felt like it was a pain to go out, even if it was just for a short while, and would only go out if it was absolutely necessary for him. however, ever since you came into his life, he would never decline your invitation to go out or go shopping, even if the activities didnt interest him at all. he would even treat you to different foods, buy you things, and even carry your shopping bags for you.

before you, nagi had never bothered to constantly check for messages, but after meeting you, he would constantly check for messages, whether it be in between his matches, or even during his soccer training.

before you, nagi had never bothered to have a proper diet and would resort to eating all sorts of junk — an eat to live type of person. however, after meeting you, you would often cook nutritious meals for him during your hangouts at his house. nagi loved the food you made for him so much that he felt as if he could never survive a day without your cooking. sometimes, the man that used to think that doing such things were bothersome would even join you in the kitchen and help you the best he can, even though his cooking skills might not be the best...

nagi would also bring you out to a coffeeshop or to the mall and buy small little gifts or trinkets to give you. he treated you as if you were an angel, a blessing that fell from the sky.

after meeting you, his life had changed a lot. it didnt take long for the two of you to fall head over heels for each other, finally getting together and moving in together.

sometimes, nagi couldnt believe that someone as beautiful and kind as you would love and care for him so deeply. the thought of love used to seemed like a complicated topic to nagi hence he never bothered to think about it. but now, all he could think about all day was you and how much he adored you.

seeing you patiently wait for him to finish his training made him feel loved and cared for. the way you run up to him to give him a big hug despite him being all sweaty from training makes him think about how lucky he is.

all the lazy sundays and late nights spent with you cuddling on his couch or in his bed, binge watching shows or playing games made he feel fulfilled.

everyday, his love for you grows bigger and bigger. he never thought he would love and think about someone as much as he loves and thinks about you. now, he wasn't only passionate about video games and soccer, but also passionate about you. in fact, his first priority is you. he didn't care anymore about how bothersome or troublesome an activity was, as long as he could make you happy, show his love, see that breathtaking smile of yours and hear your sweet laugh, he would do it without hesitation.

to be loved is to be changed — a phrase he never believed in until he met you.

love is a strange thing, isnt it?

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thank you for reading!

word count: 1.2k

feel free to request!

please dont steal

@lingeringdesires505 2024

[fromthedragonsdesk]

On Visual Novels and Catharsis

I never had a high opinion of Visual Novels. In my mind, they always seemed to boil down to the most basic wish fulfillment tripe that we'd collectively assign to the isekai genre these days, I'd wager. To me it was a waste of time or energy trying to interact with them (as an aside, I'm well aware that the Phoenix Wright series is arguably a visual novel, but I missed that boat by not having DS-era device). Even today, with a glance over most of games tagged 'visual novel' on Steam, you'll see what could be generously described as fetish pornography. So, seeing all this, I reinforced my belief that visual novels were for people who wanted some plot with their porn, and never thought much of it.

To my surprise, Steam insisted on recommending visual novels to me. I usually just tossed them aside from the recommendation queue, until I got two recommended almost back-to-back: Mice Tea and Changeling Tale.

Mice Tea had generally positive reviews, and many of them cited that the game's writing and characterization were generally humorous and appealing. So, given that it was on sale during the Steam Winter Sale, I figured it was worth a shot. Then, after basically binging on the game for 20 hours, I walked away thinking that I might have misjudged the genre on some levels.

I wouldn't say I was entirely surprised by Mice Tea - the reviews did it justice in terms of you, as the reader, wanting to root for the main cast to succeed. Most of the conflict didn't necessarily arise from an outside force, but rather internalized conflicts and the struggle to essentially be honest with yourself and those around you, risking vulnerability, essentially. At its core, I still felt like it was wish fulfillment to a significant degree, but the implausibilities were generally smoothed over enough to allow for suspension of disbelief to ride along with the story. And yeah, there... was a fair amount of catering to various fetishes and such worked in, but all in a fairly world-consistent sort-of perspective? At its core, the story was light, cheerful with moments of self-reflection and introspection, and wrapped up in a generally nice bow all in the end.

But what Mice Tea ended up doing for me, personally, was allowing me to lower my defenses during a particularly stressful point in my life, staying present in my mind when I then read over the reviews and such for Changeling Tale. I brushed off the emotion reviews, thinking that they were likely being dramatic.

I could not have been more wrong.

While set in a backdrop of old Scottish fantasy, I continually found myself impressed at how grounded Changeling Tale managed to make itself felt. I believe this is because the main character / player character of Changeling Tale (hereafter referred to as "Malcolm") is primarily reacting to the supernatural events occurring around him, rather than necessarily driving them by his own volition. Malcolm is thrust into a world that he already feels disconnected from due to his service in the military, and it cracks further open as fae magic begins seeping into the world around him.

That said, no one in the backwater town in which Malcolm has returned to handles the public appearance of fae magic particularly well, much less the three parallel storylines available to the reader between Jessie, Marion, and Grace. If anything, the most unreasonable reactions come from the player themselves, in how flippant or otherwise easygoing they handle changes happening to the people around them. That said, many decisions have a snowballing / weighted effect that can change plot directions far later on than one might expect, leading to fallings-out with friends and family, or worse.

But then something strange happened to me, as a reader, while working my way through these split storylines. Core messages seemed to stick out to me, interwoven among the stories. But they cut me straight to the core as a person; after finishing all 3 major storylines I was left shaking and bleary-eyed, wishing events could have turned out differently, desperately trying to reject the messages that had been suggested despite knowing deep-down that they were right.

"Be the best you that you can be."

"Encourage people to chase their dreams, but make sure you're pursuing your dream too."

"Sometimes peoples' dreams are irreconcilable with one another. That doesn't mean the love is gone, it just means that it isn't fair to either person."

"The size of the dream does not diminish its value; the holder of the dream determines its value."

(I intentionally omitted the storyline associations I would make)

When I held all of these thoughts together, an emotional dam burst in my heart. For years I never considered myself as having dreams or goals. For years I felt kind of confused and wondering if what I was doing mattered, or had worth. But somehow, a visual novel about fae shenanigans that dances alongside a transformation kink broadsides me with the realization that I AM where I want to be, doing what I am doing. I have a family who l love and loves me back. I am not pursuing a dream; rather, I am cultivating and maintaining a dream I have already attained. I am doing what is important to me and my family, and even if I'm not changing the world around me and leaving a name in the history books, I know that I am here and directly affecting the lives of those around me, and I'm not sure what more I could want for at this very moment.

And for the first time in quite a while, I feel content and satisfied.

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

woooooo the drabble game is done, friends!! this one is the one i wrote 🤩 i'm glad we can all agree that eddie in a bun is 👌😏

July Drabble #10- Moving Day

“We’re moving!” Eddie says, spreading his arms wide in greeting as Steve steps out of his car at the Munson trailer that day.

“Yeah I figured. ‘Cause of the U-haul in front of me.” Steve snarks back with a smirk.

“Oh yeah…Well, better get at it, we’ve got a whole trailer of mugs to wrap up and pack up.” Eddie claps his hands together once, then starts taking off the jean jacket he had on.

“You excited about movin’ to a new plac–whoa, whoa! What’re you doing dumbass, you’ll freeze!” 

Eddie rolls his eyes, “Steve, darling, it’s 54 out here and we’re going to be hauling boxes….”

He probably says more, but that’s all Steve heard because Eddie’s arms are now free. Free and toned.

“...Steve!”

“Huh? What–whatever Eds, let’s get crackin’ on this. Just don’t complain to me when you get cold.”

Steve jumps up the steps onto the Munsons’ porch and opens the door, holding it for Eddie to come in after him, but-

“What’re you still standing down there for? You comin’ in or what?”

Eddie stares at him for a second longer with that confused expression, then smirks slowly and struts up the same two steps. 

“Such a gentleman,” he says as he passes Steve, trailing one burning hot finger across his chest as he does.

‘Holy shit, oh fuck, okay, okay, you can do this, Steve. You’ve survived him flirting before, you can do it again.’ Steve hypes himself up while closing the door behind him. ‘Just hope he doesn’t also put his hair up, and you’ll be fi–’

The sight of Eddie pulling his hair up into a bun nearly sends Steve to the floor. He manages to catch himself on the back of one of the chairs at the little table to his left, but only barely.

“Oh shit, you alright, Steve?” Eddie moves to help him stand, but Steve stops him short.

“Nope, nope. Stay there, just–” he keeps his hand up, “Eddie, I swear you’re gonna be the death of me.”

“Me?” Eddie huffs out a nervous chuckle “What do you mea–”

Okay, this is happening. “You’re so goddamn perfect, Eddie. I can’t stand it, you’re like, actually affecting my ability to function and if I don’t get my shit together now, I’m gonna wanna kiss your stupid pretty face, and if I do that,” Steve stands straight, finally taking in Eddie’s shocked expression, “I’m gonna want to pick you up, take you down the hall, and have my way with you.”

Eddie’s responding “Yes!” bursts out of him the millisecond Steve’s done talking. “Yes, yep, definitely would rather do that than pack.”

Steve blinks once, taking in Eddie’s perfectly flushed face, and snatches him up.

Eddie’s legs wrap around his waist immediately, his lips on Steve’s in the exact same moment. 

Ten seconds later, Eddie’s back is pressed into the hallway closet door. 

And at 30, three half-packed boxes are shoved off Eddie’s mattress and Steve does exactly as promised.

[s0lace-1n-s0l1tude]

Tumblr get to know me:

-Favorite type of music from @sparky4577 :

I don't really know tbh,I can like pop as much as rock or metal. I wouldn't really say I have a favorite band or artist.

-Weirdest thing I've ever done from @the-fallen-collective: I'm not sure... There's eating cereal with orange juice,eating serial with water,the toothpaste and ice sandwich,trying to eat a worm,bringing a lizard to school idk

Some of my lore from @deeply-moonstruck:

I'm not that much of an interesting person, actually. So in the nursery or whatever, there was a guy who had a crush on me, and he wouldn't stop biting me so I flung a Hot Wheels car into his eye and he never did it again. There was this girl in my first year of primary school who would always blame me for things she did or accuse me of things I didn't do and the teachers would always believe her since she was a grade above me and I was too confused to say anything. So I got into plenty of trouble because of her, and I still hate her to this day. But I'm not above doing something like that either since a grade later I got a classmate in trouble for hitting me when he didn't. I got a concussion because I fell while running in the halls. (I got a second one a few months ago) I was the gifted kid, and every of my teachers either put me on a pedestal or despised me. And they all thought I was autistic. (They might've been right ngl) So my parents took me to a psychologist who didn't get me diagnosed with anything, but about 4 years later, I got diagnosed with adhd. I fistfought a girl for spreading false rumors of me dating my best friend at the time.On the same year of my diagnosis I had a racist teacher everyone hated since she mostly targeted students of color but she was awful with everyone in general. She was old,so I heard she's dead now lmfao,I'm not gonna get too much into detail cuz this is already long as hell, but I also have some form of trauma from her. And school in general,especially work. Queue my first year of highschool and my whole class hates me for being the "gifted kid" and they try to bully me but it was so pathetic I didn't even notice. Late half of second year burn out finally hits. Then depression. I kinda bullied some girl but it got sorted out. My grades went down by a lot. Not much else to say from here I think. Quick addition: my primary school was apparently haunted, and strange things did happen and I make a separate post about it/srs (keep in my mind we were kids so it probably wasn't that bad)

In last year of primary,I pissed off my art substitute so much she threw scissors at me and if flew right past my eye lol, but eventually became our actual teacher because ours died the same year. Teachers hated me for being introverted and not being very skilled with my hands, so I spent plenty of recesses inside finishing work for school events. Which I later learned was apparently illegal.

Current obsession by @kaiserkisser : Literature,Bungou to Alchemist/Stray Dogs

Fave short story by @cherubsaliaa : Anything by Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

If I was a dog breed, which one would I be from @p1xel-1mp: Doberman Pinscher,specifically in all black or a wolfdog

Favorite mythical creature by @p1xel-1mp : Kitsunes,Medusa,Dragons, and probably a lot of other things, but this is getting way too long

Let me know if you want a part 2

I'm tagging y'all so you can see this

@windyskiez @zestylemonsz @sky-the-weirdo-ace @casinoownersigma @swimminginyokohamasrivers @creatorbiaze @bananaede @cocaine-cass @solzinstarzzz @teddyandmochi @1-d0nt-w4nn4-b3-m3-4nym0r3 @cherubsaliaa @just-floating-around @suicideenthusiast @kimisbunny @myluckymoon @patiori

[salaminus]

Rex & Cody and the stolen commando

Summary:

Cody has stolen a commando from Kamino. But Cody isn't there to pick up his package himself, so he sends it to Rex because he can. Rex hasn't slept more than an hour in 48 hours, the caf is empty, his back hurts and there's a stupid commando in his hangar causing stress with Torrent!

Non-native speaker, pleaser bear with me.

Masterlist

CHAPTER 1:

Rex might kill someone. Fives would be best. Or Hardcase. Or Denal. Or Attie - not Coric, he's a medic - forget it, Coric too. It's best if he stabs himself as well.

Two hours of sleep, just two hours of undisturbed sleep, but no, he won't get it because he has to have Torrent under his command.

Rex trudges more than he has to - the door shoots open in front of him, a bunch of shinies salute, yeah yeah, get out of there now, he desperately needs a caf. Someone better not have drunk all the rations, because his personal supply is empty. How can something like that happen, kriffing shit. How and when!

His boys know better than to talk to him, after all. First course through the canteen, past the crowded tables. Far too little blue in the white sea of plastoid, that's unpleasant, it should be different. Problem for later, first the most important thing - caf, otherwise Rex will fall asleep. His eyes burn, when he blinks, his eyelids feel like they're stuck, he always needs two seconds before he can open them completely.

Past the queue - every now and then it pays to be a kama wearer, it has to, you don't forget the pain from back then - to the large plastoid cup, full of the strange powder from which the stuff is made. Step by step, he should be able to see the black stuff, but the large bowl remains nice and white.

What.

He stands in front of it - a pitiful little pile of powder, down in the corner, it barely fits on a fingernail is in the box, otherwise it's empty. Scratched out, rather licked out. This can't be true! Rex wants to scream, knock the box off the table, he's already clenching his fist when his com flashes happily. Karking fucking green, "WHAT!"

"Good morning to you too, sunshine."

Cody, of course, the little bastard grins and Rex can hear it, it makes his blood boil. "What do you want, shebs, I hope for your sake it's important and if it was a good morning I wouldn't hear your voice!"

Behind him, his men twitch, the very young ones, the babies, look almost terrified. Take a breath, really deep, relax your fingers - no, the box doesn't get punched, but it deserves it, damn Kark – Calm down now, he's kriffing Captain, he can't do that, ARCs are allowed to do that, Captains aren't. He's ARC too, quips an evil ugly voice in his head, it would only be boxing the damn bowl once....

Cody at the com snorts through his nose. "Rex'ika, got off on the wrong foot? Did they turn you inside out in the retorts? You're talking to a marshal commander."

Oh, fuck YOU.

"Kark you, you shithead. What do you want? If this was in any way official, you wouldn't be greeting me with sunshine, don't fucking give me ranks!"

A brief pause at the other end - a pause in which Rex slams a hand on the kitchen counter so that the karking droid behind it turns around. He does so, agonizingly slowly; if Rex reacted like that with Natborns, he would have been on Kamino long ago for insubordination. "Is there still caf here today, or why is the bucket empty?"

Droids, Rex hates them, especially that one. If anyone else says they can't smile, oh yes, they can, and it does it as sneakily as ever, tilting its head and waddling a step towards Rex. "CT-756---"

 "That wasn't the question, damn it - Where. is. My. Caf!"

"Rex," Cody says at the wrist - oh, no sunshine, no hypocritical smile on his lips that you can literally hear, much better, but Cody's off the air now, Rex needs caffeine before he kills someone.

Droidy doesn't understand, his head just jerks up and down at Rex. "I suggest you go to your commanding clone until you've calmed down."

Rex is about to light something on fire. "I am MY commanding- Is there still caf here now, yes, or no, that was a simple question!"

"If you do not leave this room immediately, soldier, I will inform your superior officer..."

Okay, that's it. Rex is just going to jump over the counter, rip the droid's head off and look for Caf himself, simple as that. He's already got one leg over the counter when someone shouts a very hasty: "Sir!"

Some reflexes can't be helped when they've been pumped into your brain since early childhood, so Rex turns to the speaker anyway - a shiny, completely white, but he has a rather impressive tattoo on his face, a huge V. Much better tattoo choice than Jesse, but what does he expect from Jesse, he already shares the same initial with Jojo, which says it all - wait a minute.

His vod'ika swallows hard, somehow managing to stand even more at attention than before - and he holds out a cup to him. A mug filled with... not caf, no. Coffee, the stuff from the big machine that Nici has set up and which spits out fantastic hot drinks for two hours a day, desirable enough that you now have to register the squads.

Foot back off the counter, Rex walks up to the shiny, forcing himself to take a deep breath. "Name."

That sounded brutal, as if he wanted to berate him, Rex sees him flinch and raises his hand. "I'm sorry. What's your name, vod'ika, I'm in a terrible fucking mood, it's not your fault though."

Minimal relaxation in the eyes of his little brother in front of him, but overall he still stands there with his arm with the cup stretched out like a flagpole. "Sir! Dogma, sir, CT-5784! I have been assigned to the Platoon Bravo--"

Dogma, then, one of the names that was more of a insult. Innately, Rex writes a note to himself to introduce him to Echo.

"That's enough for me, thank you, Dogma."

Take the cup, give the rookie a quick pat on his shoulder. "And you just forget your number. Just like..."

Then he spins around - oh, the cup is warm, really warm, the coffee is still fresh, praise be to Prime's mother –, and stares at the room as best he can with his helmet on. Rex doesn't like to shout, but today everything sucks and therefore he's allowed to do so. "We all forget what I did at the dispenser, is that clear? The second I hear a word about it, you run penalty laps until you vomit!"

Silence, pleasurable silence in the room, wonderful. Rex could just lie down and sleep now, instead he grips his mug tighter and nods to the shiny in front of him. "Thanks for the caf, kid. You're saving some people's lives today and they'll never appreciate it - Cody, what do you want now and keep it short, my patience is shorter today than the time Kenobi has his lightsaber in his hand and doesn't lose it!"

Cody has the decency to wait half a second. Rex takes advantage of this and walks past Dogma to the exit, clutching the cup tightly. Behind him, the droid wants to complain, "Cups may not be removed from the canteen", which Rex acknowledges with a middle finger and "Write to my superior, clanker!", for which he doesn't turn around.

He's almost out of the room, almost behind the saving door, when Cody starts talking. "So, I need you to take something for me. I stole a batch from Kamino."

That's it. Rex rips off his helmet, vaguely sees the horrified looks - never seen anyone go 48 hours without sleep, eh! - and starts drinking the caf in order to down it in one go.

"Hello, are you still there - listen, what's wrong with you, didn't get enough sleep?"

Cody’s about to get slapped in the face. "Commander, kriff yourself, respectfully said. If I haven't slept enough, you're karking kidding, Cody - or you know what, I don't care. I don't want to know. I don't want to know what you did. When is your stupid fucking batch coming and how exactly I'm supposed to proceed with them!"

"That's... quite simple."

Rex pauses. Firstly, he can already feel the caffeine - no, but the warmth of the coffee for that, the smell alone soothes him like a comforting blanket it drapes over him, making his aching eyes blink more easily. However, Cody paused in his sentence, one of the very long ones, and then came the word 'Just'. Something here stinks big time.

"What's that supposed to mean."

"Well, you don't have to do anything, it's a commando."

NOW he’s dead. "A karking COMMANDO?!"

"Don't shout like that. A very nice one, an experimental unit, under my command, you don't have any flimsiwork or anything, you just have to receive it, you can do that, can't you?"

This little fucker. Rex grinds his teeth and marches on towards the exit of the canteen, his eyes stubbornly fixed ahead. Keep thinking about the coffee in his hand. It will help him against everything, against the karking universe, full of stupid, stupid older brothers.

" Receive it for you, Commander. And why doesn't Jango's Pride and Glory do it himself!"

"Rex, I'm not there, we're way off the grid. All you have to do is take the batch and keep it for me, you can do that!"

Rex can do anything because he has to. "Is that an order?"

"If that's what you want," Cody doesn't even have the decency to sound meaner, "then yes. Otherwise it's a favor, but if I order you to do it, I'll forget the part."

"Do it, you douche. I have so many favors with you, I couldn't even redeem them if I wanted to - when's your Commando coming and why are you only telling me about it now?"

"Because it wasn't certain yet..."

Lazy excuse and he knows it. There's something else going on, but Cody doesn't want to say it. Should make Rex even grumpier, but he doesn't even know if that's possible. First he trudges down the corridor towards his quarters. Skywalker better does not want anything from him now, he has reports to finish.

"Yes. So - they're landing soon, they'll be coming out of hyperspace in three hours. I'd be grateful if you could keep them safe... until we meet again or they leave on their own because they've been assigned a mission."

Oh great, wonderful. Just keep walking, he's almost there.

"Rex. Hello?"

No, Rex is not here. Rex has to accept deliveries for stupid ori'vods.

"I've already sent you the files. They're all less than ten years old, by the way, just so you're prepared. I have to---"

"Kote." Rex hisses into the com, stops and bares his teeth involuntarily. "you're sending me an unfinished trained Commando, an experimental unit younger than kriffing Domino Squad?"

"Just a little younger, Rex, and it's a Commando."

"That's exactly the problem!"

MASTERLIST

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Ahhhhh Lester Billings fic was so gooodddd I loved ittttttt pls make a part two 🙏🙏🙏

45 Days of Waiting - Lester Billings/Reader

Warnings: Gender neutral reader, no use of Y/N, friends to roommates, accusations of cheating and abuse (both false of course), reader is still pining, Lester is still sad, happy ending.

Wordcount: 25210

Summary: You called in every favour you could to find someone to take his case so he could get his family back, but inviting him to stay with you was surely bound to have more consequences than even you could've expected as your friendship with him blossoms even more.

Notes: Ask and you shall receive hehe the idea of writing out the custody hearing was always in my mind when thinking of the sequel to this, but godDAMN did I not expect it to be so long. The hearing itself takes up a good chunk of this, but there's also a ton of other scenes as your friendship (and relationship? 😏) grows, so while this is the longest reader of mine to date somehow I promise it'll be a worthy read that'll lead into even more with him as I go through the final two requests for him in my queue 😊 And while there are OCs of mine in here as secondary characters again, I may've gone a bit overboard with my usual Matty cameo hehehe

I also looked up how long the original story was, and it was only 4808. I've written over 6x the amount of plot for this man than Stephen King himself, so I think it's now safe to say I now own him and this is now how his life turns out 👍 Hope everyone who might've looked forward to this enjoys it 💗💗💗

It was Thursday night again, your car pulling into the grocery store in town as it always did at around 5:15PM. It was the soonest you could get there after work, and you'd been working like crazy lately, your office phone ringing off the hook and calling just as much as you attempted to trade in every single favour you had stocked up. You were dead tired as you yanked a cart free and started on the list in your hand, the usual favourites now followed by a bunch of healthy foods as well as the odd treat. It was a long list, but money hadn't been an issue ever since you'd started your job at the firm, and now that Lester was working again he always made sure to pay you back since he was now spending his Thursdays, along with every other night, at the office for as long as he could get away with.

It'd been a couple weeks since you'd found him at Walkers, since he’d confessed to you that his wife was leaving him and taking his kids on the suspicion of cheating, and the thought of it still made your blood boil as you stared at the pasta sauces and grabbed your favourite, not hers. You placed two jars into your cart and moved on, each item crossed off your list until you reached the dessert counter at the end, the worker seeing you coming and already preparing two slices of Caramel Pecan for you and him to take home.

It was still a little strange to think about how he was coming home to you, just temporarily until he could finish securing a new place of his own that'd be suitable for his kids, something he hadn't dared to think about when he'd started his hunt, but to you all the same. He took up your entire couch to the point where you'd had to take pity on him after that first night, your bed offered to him when he'd woken up with his back irritated from being all bunched up. He didn't want it, he was already imposing on you during all of this, but one offered massage later had him feeling better and a little more ready to get a good night's sleep. 

You'd checked on him that second night, his suitcases decorating your floor and the single picture he'd managed to grab decorating your nightstand where he could see it before he fell asleep, and you vowed again that this wouldn't stay his future as you'd spent the rest of the night looking up every big name in your work contact list.

You packed the groceries into your car and headed home, his receipt separate from yours so he could keep track of what he owed you as usual, and you planned on what to make for him by the time he got home later that night all the way back to your house. It was a long drive, so you had plenty of time to create a meal based on what you'd just bought, your fingers tapping the wheel as you wondered if he'd prefer the kale salad tonight or if he'd want to go with the stir fry instead. 

It was almost unbelievable how fast your crush kept trying to come back now that you saw him every day, little reminders of why you'd properly fallen in the first place cropping up and trying to distract you from your cause, but each time you just swallowed them down; he needed a friend right now, the poor guy was about to lose his marriage for goodness sake, so any interference from you and your own needs would only make him feel worse.

You'd seen cases like this before, one wrong move and Rita would be able to use everything out of context and prove that he was unfaithful to the judge while she made her claim for full custody, and if you were the cause of her winning you'd never be able to forgive yourself.

You forced yourself to breathe as you pulled into the driveway, everything needing to be carried up the small steps to your front door as soon as it was opened, and just as you propped it open and got ready to bring everything in you ended up pausing at the smell of food. You stepped inside, sniffing curiously as you wondered if maybe one of you had forgotten to turn something off or throw something away that morning, and when you reached the kitchen you froze with a pounding heart when you saw Lester standing at the sink, currently peeling and slicing potatoes while a big pan of beef was browning on the stove. 

‘You're h- back early,’ you pointed out as he transferred the potatoes to another pan, and he jumped only a little before chuckling and wiping off his hands.

‘Yeah, I'm going in again after dinner, I just wanted to thank you for all you've been doing for me lately,’ he explained almost nervously, like you wouldn't appreciate the gesture, and you forgot all about the food in your car and all the wide open doors you'd left behind as you rushed forward to give him a hug. You caught yourself before he could hug you back, your hands coming up to straighten your work casual clothes as you cleared your throat. You were very aware of how inappropriate that just was despite you being friends, but before you could apologize he pulled you right back into it. ‘What kind of thanks comes without a hug?’ he asked into your shoulder, and you held him tightly until a mix of the beef spitting grease everywhere and your front door slamming shut made you part.

‘Oh yeah, the groceries, I'll help you cook after I bring them all in,’ you offered as you headed back for the car, Lester shaking his head and mixing around the beef now that more of it was browned.

‘This is my thanks to you, I do know how to make a thing or two without needing a menu,’ he joked lively, his familiar smile back again, and you just smiled right back before rushing out to bring everything in.

You were at work that week when someone finally called you back, a woman from a neighbouring firm who you'd worked with a few times and was interested in his case. She was aware of his financial situation, how Rita had kept all the cards and how he was stuck to his brand new debit account that was only loaded with a few paychecks for the moment, and together you'd worked out that this would be pro bono for now; when he was given access back to his personal savings - which she was hoarding in order to pay the bills - then he would be able to pay her. 

What he wouldn't know was that you'd also called in one of your favours so the bill for this would be lessened, just another kindness to him while he went through all of this. She was on the phone with you as you wrote all of this down into a personal report to give to her to help with the case, the receiver cradled between your jaw and shoulder before you remembered that speakerphone had been invented even on landlines. 

‘He's staying with me for the time being, he has a few places we're gunna check out next week to see if they'd be a good fit for his kids to visit until he can start hunting for a house again,’ you told her as you set the phone down, your hands moving fast over the keyboard of your laptop in time with your voice. ‘They're all in town, so they won't have to be too far from their school and friends, that was something he forgot about when he first started looking, but it's all sorted and we just need to settle on a location and price.’

‘You keep saying, “we,” be sure not to do that during any meetings, not when his wife is already accusing him of being unfaithful,’ Gwen reminded you warily, and you mentally slapped your hand to your forehead as you kept on typing.

‘Shit, yeah, sorry, it's been harder not to lately since he keeps asking for my opinion,’ you groaned, all of your thoughts on all the things you'd been doing together overwriting the fact that he should be doing this on his own even without you acting as his lawyer, just his friend. 

‘It's fine with us, I know you'd never put him in that position, but you never know who she might be hiring to falsify evidence in her favour when she's this convinced that it's true.’ She paused to take a drink of something so you paused in return to stretch your hands, your cell lighting up with a text from him asking if you want him to pick up anything on the way home since he knew you would also be late; home, he'd started calling it that even though you’d tried your damndest not to, and your crush whispered in your ear about how right it sounded as you quickly tapped out a reply and set the device back down again.

‘We don't spend any time together outside of the house, and we leave at different times so unless she has someone actually following us, which I will report, there's nothing going on here other than me helping out a friend,’ you told her as you got back to your report, and you heard her click her tongue a couple times before adjusting how she held her own phone.

‘Still, be careful during this, you may not be representing him due to your closeness to this case, but you became a liability to him the moment you opened your door to him under this suspicion. Keep it platonic, keep it distant, don't add fuel to the fire, and we can meet sometime next week to go over the rest of the details, okay? Just text me your address and I'll be there, the less he's seen in public with anyone the better so long as we don't know who she thinks the cheating is with.’ You nodded guiltily even though she couldn't see, your hands stopping their typing as you touched your cheek again even though the sting was long gone. 

You didn't know if it'd really be brought up during the hearing, but you didn't want to have to tell him that the accused was actually you, your appearance in his life only making everything go to hell in such a short time. You knew deep down that it wasn't actually your fault, you'd never made a single move on him and she was only lashing out in jealousy over something that didn't exist, but you knew that custody tended to favour the mothers and if there was a single shred of doubt that she could twist into him looking like a bad father then you would play the part of friend until even you believed it.

The call ended and you texted her your address along with a good time when the neighbours were usually out, it'd be easy to leave work for this at least on your part, Lester's boss giving him a little more leniency than usual while this was sorted so far so hopefully it wouldn't be an issue for him either. You saved your report and shut your laptop for the night, you had no more energy to do this and you needed to eat, your earlier denial of takeout being redacted as you texted him your favourites from the place he had to now pass by to get to you.

The meeting couldn't come sooner, Lester on constant edge as he paced around your room the night before. You could hear exactly where he was as you tried to sleep on the couch in the next room, each creak in the wood giving away his position until finally it stopped. You sighed, it'd been hours and it had honestly been keeping you awake, but not because of the noise; you were just as nervous as he was, the two of you up late before this deep cleaning your entire one-story house just to be sure you were ready to start this battle, and you were until you'd heard him get out of bed and start pacing.

Now your room was quiet again, and you waited for the sound of snoring when you heard your door creak open next instead. ‘Hey, I can't sleep,’ came his small voice from the doorway, and you couldn't even pretend to be asleep when he could clearly see your face looking his way from there.

‘Me either,’ you admitted as you pushed yourself onto your elbows, Lester brushing his messy bangs out of his eyes, and you could see how tired they were even from there. ‘Want me to put on some coffee? We can watch something until we fall asleep.’

‘No, but… it's silly, nevermind.’ He went to shut the door, your body sitting up even more as you pushed aside your blanket.

‘Wait, you can tell me, I'm worried about tomorrow, too,’ you confided in him before the door could shut, and he let out his own sigh as he opened it back up again.

‘I've been lying next to someone for over 20 years, and lately I've been too… too sad or too tired to notice but… I can't ignore it tonight, not now that I know this is happening starting tomorrow.’ Your mouth went dry as you understood his pacing, and you moved on instinct before you could stop yourself. ‘You don't have to, I just- don't want to be alone, tonight,’ he mumbled, this new and sad version of him cropping up again as the thoughts of sleeping without his longtime girlfriend and then wife and mother of his children clearly plagued him.

‘What're friends for?’ you could only say as you joined him in your room, an unspoken tension filling the air as he still tried to backtrack.

‘I'm not asking for… uh, sexual favours, or anything,’ he mumbled nervously, and you quickly raised your hands and took a step back as you prayed the darkness of the night was hiding your blush.

‘I didn't come in here expecting you to!’ you clarified just as nervously in way too loud a voice for that late at night, and he smiled in relief as his shoulders relaxed.

‘Okay, thank you, it's just that the thought of sleeping alone- for the longest time I'd forgotten how that felt, and like I said I've been too distracted to think about it until now, but if you'd rather not I can try,’ he insisted as to not pressure you, and you had to silence your crush with something louder as you took his hand and led him towards the bed.

‘You don't need to explain yourself to me, you're going through something I can't even imagine, if this'll help you then I want to help,’ you told him honestly, and he pushed aside his fear as he got back into bed. You made sure the blinds were all closed just in case, your talk with Gwen making you a bit paranoid as the room got even darker, and when you were done you made sure your pajamas were a little less loose before climbing in after him. 

You laid arm to arm with a generous amount of space between you, your entire body stiff as you felt him tense as well; neither of you were going to be able to fall asleep at this rate, so you quickly let out a breath and rolled onto your side. You faced him, both physically and metaphorically, in order to let him turn his back to you, maybe your arm around him would be more appreciated than him thinking he could hold you and pretend, but to your surprise he faced you as well, maybe stuck in the same train of thought of what he wanted. 

‘What do we do now?’ he asked you softly, your hands gripping the sheets as your eyes quickly looked away from his lips.

‘I dunno, how did you usually sleep?’ you asked back, and he gave a slight shrug as he also looked away from you.

‘She didn't like it much towards the end, but… I usually held Rita until I was able to fall asleep, something about the dark has always made it harder for me, I think I might’ve passed that on to Annie…’ He fell silent again upon thinking of his daughter, still at home and waiting for her dad to come tuck her in and kiss her goodnight, and when you both sniffed at the same time you couldn't stop yourself; you leaned forward in the dim light, your hand finding his cheek and leading the way towards him, and even though his breath hitched and he didn't close his eyes, he also didn't pull away as you pressed a kiss to his lips. 

You pulled back almost immediately, reality catching up to you the moment he angled his head just enough to kiss you back, and you sat right up and started apologizing before his gentle hand found yours.

‘I still love my wife, even though she's doing this,’ was all he told you, the kindness and understanding you'd come to love showing up when you wanted it the least, and you tore your hand free to wipe at your cheek.

‘I know, I don't know why I did that, that's not why I came in here,’ you said as fast as you could, your mind racing as you felt the embarrassment and shame from the kiss beat you down until you were starting to panic; you knew he didn't need this right now, any feelings you still had for him very unappreciated when he still loved his wife and was trying his hardest to get his family back. Your feelings for him coming out now would only ruin everything, you didn't belong in that part of his life, and if you'd just walked away that day at the party then maybe this never would've even happened. ‘I'm sorry, I'm ruining everything, I never meant to-’

‘Come here, it's okay,’ he shushed you, his voice too soft and too kind as he pulled you back down to the bed. He turned you until your back was to his chest, and you tried to still your sobs even more now that he could feel this with his entire body as he wrapped his arm around your waist. ‘I know I'm being selfish here, I never should've asked this much from you, but I can't return your kindness like this, not when I don't feel the same,’ he murmured into your shoulder, and you tried to hide the way your body instinctively curled up at his words.

‘I never wanted you to,’ you replied into your pillow, and you felt him hold you a little tighter until the sound of gentle snoring reached your ear; just laying like this had put him to sleep, the comfort of being able to hold someone again lulling away the stress of it all until he was able to rest. You held him just a moment before letting go, your hands clenched into your pillow as you stared at the faint moonlight coming through your blinds. ‘I'm sorry, I should've just walked away, I never meant to do this to you,’ you told him properly, but he didn't hear any of it, and you knew it as you kept apologizing until you also fell asleep in his arms.

Despite being up late, the two of you were awake as soon as the sunlight filled the room, the few hours you were able to get seemingly enough for him as he looked a little less tired. You slept a little longer than him, just enough to slip free and grab some clothes so you could shower fast and make sure everything was ready for Gwen's arrival a good 8 hours later. You were in the middle of rinsing your hair when you heard him moving around outside the door, the sound of him rummaging through his suitcases making you frown as the water ran over your face. 

This was temporary, he was here to save himself some much needed money from hotels while he looked for a new home, you didn't belong in that part of his life. You repeated that to yourself as you finished up, the bathroom free for him as you opened the door with your brush still in hand. He froze as he went to pass, your hand stilling as you tamed your drying hair, an awkwardness settling over you that made you wish he'd find his own place even sooner.

‘I'm sorry, about last night,’ he mumbled as he held his clothes for the day, this surprising you as you set your brush down. ‘I shouldn't have asked that of you, I didn't know you had…’

‘I don't,’ you were quick to lie, needing to console him more than let your feelings be known right now, ‘I don't know why I… did what I did last night, that wasn't fair to you.’

He looked away but not in his own embarrassment, even though he'd kissed you back despite saying he didn't feel the same. ‘It was a vulnerable moment, we can act irrationally in times like that,’ he began, his hands worrying around his clothes as he fussed with them, ‘I know this, because when Rita told me she wanted the divorce, I found myself getting angry at her, for the first time since we got together.’ You turned to face him entirely, your focus only on him as he all but collapsed against the doorframe. ‘We've had arguments before, it's not like I've never been mad at her in all our years of knowing each other, all couples fight, but when she said those words to me- I don't know, at the time I could only feel anger, betrayal, confusion, and-’

He stopped, you'd talked about how he'd felt after he moved in since he couldn't afford to see a therapist, but this was new as you waited patiently for him to trust you with the rest.

‘I lashed out, then. I didn't hit her, I never could, but I made her feel unsafe around me when I tried to get her to tell me why she was doing this. That's why she's claiming full custody, not because she thinks I was cheating.’ You didn't realize you were holding your breath until your chest started to ache for a different reason, and when you approached him he allowed you to lead him back to the bed so he could sit down. 

His eyes were sad again, sadder than you'd ever seen them, and you knew that he'd been carrying this secret the entire time you'd been trying to help him. 

‘I needed to tell you before it came out any other way, you deserve to know that much after everything you're doing for me, and that's why I don't blame you or hate you for that kiss, it wasn't like I didn't enjoy just a bit of positive affection, after everything that's been going on…’

‘Lester, I… thank you, for telling me this. You need to tell Gwen when she comes over, Rita is sure to use this and we need to prove to them that this was a one time thing, that you would never hurt your family,’ you told him seriously, your hands grasping his arm as he stared at the floor in shame of his actions no matter how they'd turned out. He nodded but didn't look hopeful, and you knew you shouldn't but still you wrapped your arms around him, let him know you were there and on his side; he eased into you, a long sigh of relief leaving him as you pulled him even closer to you, your hands locking over his arm when you felt him tremble.

‘It's my own fault, I caused this…’ You held him tighter, your face burying into his shoulder as he covered his own with his hand. ‘Maybe if I'd paid better attention to her, listened to her concerns, been a better husband-’

‘You did everything you could, I've never known you to be anything but that,’ you insisted as he shook his head, not wanting to hear it.

‘It wasn't good enough.’

You fell back onto the mattress, dragging him with you until he lost his balance, and as soon as he was laying down you let go of his arms to instead sit up and cup his cheeks so he'd look at you. ‘Stop it. I've been doing this a long time, Lester. I've seen truly bad people do even worse things, and I've seen colleagues I trusted represent these people in order to make them look like saints. I've seen bad, I've seen terrible, neglect, abuse, evil. And you're none of these things,’ you insisted, and when he was unable to look away he just laid there and listened as the tears rolled down his cheeks. ‘You're a wonderful father, and even if you made a mistake in a moment of great distress, that doesn't make you a monster. 

‘The monsters are out there, waiting to strike when you're most vulnerable, and they'll take and devour until good people like you are gone. And I won't let that happen to you or your kids, do you hear me?’ He met your eye when your hands started to shake, not with sadness but determination at your words, you were going to help him, he was going to get his kids back, and you'd fight off any monster it took to get to that point.

‘Why're you doing this for me?’ he suddenly asked as he fell completely still, and your hands left him as you sat back and just stared at him. ‘I know I've been staying here, but we still barely know each other, not enough for you to do this much.’

Because I love you.

‘Because I'm your friend, or, I thought I was, if you think that we're not close enough for this.’ You couldn't pretend it didn't hurt, your face betraying how hard you were trying to keep it together, and when he took your hands and brought you down you fell just as easily as he did.

‘You are, and you've been there for me when none of the others have,’ he whispered into your hair, your chest aching as you remembered just how many people had been at his parties. ‘Once it got out that I punched that wall they all sided with her, if it wasn't for you I'd be alone.’

‘It's not fair.’

‘...I'm sorry to put all this on you.’

‘No, it's not fair that she's taking everything from you. I wish I had contacted Gwen first, I wish I could be the one to do this for you, you don't know- fuck, I don't understand it,’ you moaned as you rested your cheek on his chest, the two of you just holding each other as the sun rose even higher in the sky and officially started the day. ‘We'll tell her everything, she's good, I've seen her help so many good people who didn't stand a chance otherwise, and I know you do despite how this all looks; we’ll convince them all it's not true, I won't stop until we do.’

‘You're a good friend, I wish I'd met you sooner,’ he said softly, and you could hear his smile as your hands clung to his shirt this time. 

‘Yeah, I do too.’

You both laid there until you fell asleep again, he really needed the comfort of another person there in order to really relax, and you both felt better as you woke up a second time a few hours later. Your entire home felt less tense, and there was no running around as you made some brunch and went over what you were going to say. Thanks to your report she already knew a lot of what'd happened from your perspective, but getting to meet with him would be what he needed now that he was ready to talk about everything and not just what you thought you knew.

When she finally arrived it felt like there was some real hope for him, everything coming out about that night as you all sat down in your living room and spread out the pages on your coffee table. He told you how she'd approached him before bed just after he'd tucked in Annie and Shaun, how she demanded he tell her the truth about who he was seeing, and when he couldn't answer how she'd then accused him of cheating in plain sight. Your heart ached and your hands gripped your couch so hard that they cramped as you listened, Lester going into full detail about how she'd then refused to say who she thought he was seeing, which you knew, but also slapped him when he tried to tell her the truth.

You saw red at that, Gwen stopping the conversation like she'd just realized you'd been there the whole time. ‘Maybe it'd be better if you went for a drive while I talk to him, without representing him there isn't much you can do here,’ she suggested carefully, Lester already starting to shut down as he touched the same cheek as your own slap.

‘No, I want to be here for him, everyone else left and I refuse to do the same, I have no one to break confidentiality with,’ you insisted as you sat up straighter, and when Lester gave a small nod to confirm that he'd prefer your presence there Gwen could only agree and let him finish.

‘Well, after she hit me we ended up arguing loud enough to wake Deni, whose room is closest to ours. She made sure to keep Shaun away when we got louder, she's too responsible for her age, it's because of her that I was able to snap out of it,’ he continued as he fiddled with the pencil he'd used to fill out the forms she'd brought. ‘But first, when Rita was yelling at me, tried to make me believe that I was lying to her and that I was just trying to keep seeing this lover she was convinced I had, when I was starting to get frustrated and couldn't get a word in, that's when she asked for the divorce, or demanded it, really, there was no asking. 

‘She was sick of me bringing this lover around to flaunt in front of her, started listing off all these times where I’d invited friends over for stuff like parties and movie nights, but it was always with people she knew, I still don’t- anyway, I think I might’ve blacked out after that, because the next thing I knew I was yelling at her, and when I looked down my knuckles were scratched up and there was an indent in our wall.’ He swallowed heavily, Gwen writing everything down as she stared up at him with a level expression.

‘Did you hit her at any point?’ she asked not to accuse or insinuate, but still you frowned at her as he shut his eyes and tried to concentrate.

‘No, I hit the wall but that was it, I didn’t even grab her when she backed away,’ he confessed, and you hated the woman even more as the tears started to fall again. ‘She told me she wanted full custody right before Deni rushed in to make sure everything was okay, and I didn’t argue with her again about it for the rest of the night.’

‘You slept on the couch?’

‘Deni’s room, she has one of those bunkbeds with the folding couch as the bottom bunk, since her friends are always staying the night; I slept on that since she didn’t want me to be alone, I swear she’s too mature…’ He smiled fondly but sadly as he cleaned himself up, he really missed her and her siblings, and you exchanged a look with Gwen as she finished writing. ‘The next morning she had a bag already packed for me, we were supposed to go on vacation so it was at the end of the bed, said she wanted me out because she was done listening to my lies, and I’ve only been back once since then to properly pack when the kids were out of the house so they wouldn’t have to see us fight again.’

‘And did you fight, that second time?’

‘No, I just packed up a few suitcases and left while she kept watch, made sure I didn’t take anything, it’s only while she was heading for the door that I was able to grab a picture of our kids from the TV stand.’ He let out a breath, he felt better getting it all out to someone who was going to help him, like a sinner confessing to a priest, and you reached over and gave his hand a reassuring pat as Gwen hummed to herself and put her notebook down.

‘Do you think you’d be able to remember exactly who was at these events she listed? If we can make a comprehensible list of everyone there we might be able to guess who she thinks this lover is, get them to stand with us and tell the judge that this is all a big understanding, although I do think a divorce might be beneficial for everyone after the amount of distrust and toxicity that arose between you,’ she said honestly, and instantly he straightened up, his hands grasping the table as he nearly fell to his knees.

‘But my kids-’

‘We’ll still fight for custody, at best it’ll be shared, but that’ll be better than letting her get full, don’t you agree?’ He nodded, even though he didn’t like the sound of not being able to see them everyday he still nodded all the same, and you reached for him again when Gwen interrupted by handing him her notebook, a new page waiting for him. ‘Try and remember as many names as you can, from as many of her events as well, everything helps right now,’ she told him as he took it, and he nodded again before concentrating on all the friends he tended to invite to his many parties; you didn’t realize how much you missed them until that moment, missed how in his element he was as he helped grill, set up the projector, toweled off his kids until they were embarrassed and had to fix their hair in front of their laughing friends.

The man before you was so different than him, all hunched shoulders and sad eyes, and with each name that he added to the list you knew that it was your fault he looked like this, everything all because of you and the reason why he wasn't at home right now throwing another party and jumping into the pool with a full stomach and reckless abandon. You wanted to tell him sorry again, your hands clasped in your lap as he finished up the list and handed it back over, Gwen’s eyes trailing over it for any names that stood out repeatedly when her frown of concentration turned to one of concern instead.

‘This is very helpful, thank you, I’ll start contacting them this week if you can give me their numbers next, and would you be able to help me grab something from the car real quick?’ The second part was directed at you, and your own frown turned to one of matching concern as he began going through his phone to write down as many numbers as he could before your return. You followed her outside, her car parked behind yours since his was hidden in your garage, but she didn’t go to it as soon as she shut the door behind herself. ‘It’s you, isn’t it?’

‘What?’

‘Please don’t play dumb with me right now, your name was listed under every single event right down to the movie night with one other couple, you’re the one Rita thinks he’s cheating on her with, aren’t you?’ Her gaze was serious and almost angry as she spoke, no more neutral calmness as she stared you down, and you tried to say no before it all spilled out all at once.

‘Don’t tell him, please-’

‘Jesus!’

‘We never did anything, he only ever invited me over with everyone else, there really was nothing going on,’ you insisted desperately, Gwen rubbing her eyes as she backed away from you.

‘You’ve just made this so much harder to prove, he’s been staying at your fucking house for weeks,’ she groaned into her palm, her eyes on the door like she could see him still seated at the couch on the other side of the wood. ‘What did you do to give her the impression that he was seeing you, because clearly he has no idea it’s you.’

‘Nothing-! I really did nothing, I just showed up a few times, it wasn't even that many, I would never pursue a married man.’ You needed her to believe you, she was his only shot and even though you only just barely knew each other you knew that if she bailed then that was it, no one else would help him. ‘I swear to you, my intentions have only been innocent since the start, he doesn’t even know I-’

‘You have feelings for him, sonofabitch if that gets out her lawyer will use that to high heaven, everything you’ve done will be twisted into something selfish, you letting him stay here could end up being his downfall, how could you do something so stupid?’

You bit your lip as you rested against the wall of the entryway, the bricks cold against your back as you fought not to shake. ‘I know it was stupid, but he’d just lost everything, I didn’t want him to keep shelling out money for that hotel while he tried to save up for a house, I thought this was the only way to help him…’

‘We’re going to find him a place today, and he’s going to stay in a hotel until this hearing is over and he can move in.’

‘What, no, he can’t afford it!’

‘And you can’t afford to have Rita find out he’s been here. Fuel to the fire, you know how we work, you know whoever she’s hired will take one look at this situation and use it as proof that you wanted him to yourself, no wife, no kids, just a man who was more than willing to leave his family behind the moment you asked.’ She sighed deeply as you crumbled to the steps, your leg spreading over the small two leading to your sidewalk as you ran your hands through your hair. ‘I know you had good intentions, but this has gotten way out of hand, and if you really want to help him then you’ll keep your distance until this is over. Whether he really is just a friend or if you’re in love with him, you know there’s a good chance you might have to stand up there in front of everyone and explain all of this if her lawyer demands to call on you as proof, and the more deniability you both have to her claims the better, alright?’

‘Alright,’ you repeated, and she left you a moment to grab a box of something from her car to make it seem like you weren’t out there to talk. You stood as she returned, getting the door for her since her hands were now full, and he was none the wiser as you sat again and started going over all the listings he’d bookmarked since he’d been kicked out.

Gwen ended up staying for much longer than expected as you went on a tour of his listings, his insistence that you come along the only reason you weren’t secretly forced to stay home. He’d found both a mix of decently large apartments and smaller houses, nothing near as grand as his old one, but each was affordable, cozy, and in range of both his kids’ school and his work. In the end he was able to make a successful offer on a one-story house similar to yours, and the price was lower due to it needing a bit of work, but it had three bedrooms, two for Deni and Shaun while Annie would sleep in his, a yard big enough to house a pool that just needed to be cleaned and refilled, and a living room big enough for everyone to have more fun movie nights.

It was a dream home, but the work had daunted all the other potential buyers, and he was more than ready to take on the challenge and fix it up himself if need be to distract himself from the upcoming hearing. You wished you could help him with it, but between work and needing to stay as far away from that home as possible you could only cheer him on from afar as he signed the paperwork that day and worked out a payment plan now that Gwen was there to represent him.

‘This is amazing, Deni will want this room because I know Shaun will have claimed this one, the kitchen needs some work but a new stove and some fresh paint will open the space right up, and this living room! If we keep the couches against the wall then everyone will be able to spread out again, maybe I’ll be able to get that sectional I wanted this time, that way there’ll be room for everyone without the need of a loveseat, but of course I need to fix that wall first; good thing this place is so small, I might be able to knock it out in a weekend- hey, you alright?’ You were snapped out of your thoughts as he leaned down a bit to look you in the eye, his ramblings about his new place coming to a halt when he noticed your expression. ‘You’ve been staring at the closet for about five minutes, I’m pretty sure there’s no monsters in it.’

You weakly laughed, stuck between being happy to see this side of him again and knowing that you wouldn’t be able to help with a single thing, it would just be him here, alone. ‘I’m alright, just thinking, I guess,’ you admitted as Gwen talked to the realtor in the kitchen, a space cleared off for more papers to be signed as they discussed ownership and payment. ‘Things are gunna be busy for me, for a while. Once the power and water get turned back on and you can move in I don’t think we’ll be able to see each other for a while.’

‘That’s okay, we can always see each other on Thursdays,’ he joked, but that only made this sting all the more as the darkness in the closet grew. ‘I really am thankful for all your help so far, but I’ll be alright while I do this; if fixing up an entire house will prove to them that I’m serious about wanting to see my kids more than a few times a year then I’ll do it, I used to be a bit of a handyman before I got my big, important office job, y’know.’ You laughed again, you didn’t doubt it after his emergency help when he backed up your sink and then had to fix it before the water spread to the living room.

‘I just wish I could help you, chores are always better with company, remember?’ you reminded him as you met his eye, and when he smiled and pulled you into a hug you felt Gwen’s eyes on you as you held him back.

‘I know, but if you’ve gotta work it can’t be helped, I can man a broom and mop on my own, just need to get a radio in here and maybe it’ll feel a little more lively.’

‘You can get spotify on your phone, then you won’t need to get a radio,’ you suggested, and when he pulled away he looked confused.

‘What’s that? I’ve heard Deni mention it before but I never figured it out, R- her mother was always better with technology,’ he frowned in confusion, and you laughed again before pulling out your phone and getting him to do the same.

Gwen dropped you both off less than an hour later, someone coming to the house within the week to get the power back on after the last storm knocked it out, and with no one living there no one had bothered to get it fixed again. The water had also been turned off as well as the heat just to save money, and as soon as it all was in working order again he was free to sweep out the master bedroom and move right in, the rest was up to him. You hadn’t been able to resist his request to go shopping with him for a new bed, he was always bad with those kinds of things and ended up regretting his choice as soon as he got home, so a second opinion was very much needed despite Gwen silently warning you not to.

‘I’d love to, the sooner that’s sorted the sooner you don’t have to sleep on the floor,’ you agreed, and you silently apologized to her as she let out a sigh. ‘You’re on your own with everything else though, and you’re not stealing my broom to clean up that mess, I’d much rather throw it out than let it back into my house.’

‘I’ll get two, one to keep and one to throw,’ he decided from the backseat, his phone out again as he started adding things to his cart despite not even being moved yet; he was ready to have the place livable so his kids could visit even before the hearing, and you didn’t have the heart to tell him it’d still have to be a while if Rita denied him visitation. It'd been so long already since you'd seen him so energetic, and it made you smile even though he'd have to do this next part alone; it'd be hard but he'd lived through that first month on his own, so he'd be able to do it again in his own space if he had the hope that it'd be full again urging him on, you knew he could.

You both waved goodbye as she drove away, and you couldn't help but join in his celebration as he ran out to grab dinner from his favourite place as well as some alcohol, neither of you had drank since he moved in after he hit the bottle too hard in that lonely hotel room. You had your own personal movie night as you finally got to show him the one you brought but had never gotten to watch, and sure enough he wasn't a fan of horror as he cowered almost dramatically on his end of the couch while you laughed and told him to watch the part coming up, it would be good, you promised.

You didn't get to bed until late again, you couldn't exactly sleep when he was sitting where your feet should be, but you knew you wouldn't be getting comfortable once the TV turned off and he shot you another nervous glance. He didn't even have to say it, he needed someone there more than ever with his upcoming lonely nights waiting for him, and this time you didn't kiss him as you both got into bed and fell asleep easier than you ever had before. 

The house was ready for him sooner rather than later, the text that he was good to go actually arriving as you were out shopping for a bed. He was indecisive as hell, trying out every mattress to make sure it was good for his back, and even when he found one that was comfortable he tended to pass on it just in case something even better was on display. He was laying down on what felt like his millionth mattress when he got the text, his eyes opening wide as he sat up only to flinch as his back did indeed twinge.

‘The water’s on, why don't we go over now, start cleaning up?’ he suggested excitedly, and your smile fell as you thought about how you shouldn't even be doing this much.

‘I don't know, shouldn’t we stay and get a bed if you can move in asap?’ you tried to defer, and he gave the one he was on a little bounce before getting up.

‘I'll take this one, it can stay on the floor until I get a frame, let's hurry up and go!’ While you were glad to have this nightmare end, it only caused the second one to start as he flagged down an employee and got the price, a frame ending up catching his eye on the way now that his big dilemma was solved. He bought both and together with two employees you stuffed it all into his car, the mattress thankfully crammed into a box to his amazement and saving him a ton of space. 

He also bought all the things he'd need to clean, his new broom and mop laying across the seat with a bag full of supplies and towels. You pretended to not feel the entire weight of them on your shoulders all the way to his new home, the spare keys already picked up from under the rock by the door and in his pocket before you could exit the car.

He threw open the door and rushed back to get the broom, you in charge of the mop by default as he began to sweep with all the enthusiasm of a cartoon princess, and it only made you fall harder until his actions caught up with him and he needed to sweep himself a small circle so he could sit down. You shook your head and took over for him, all the windows thrown up and the patio door open wide to air the place out until he was ready to help again, Lester now confined to cleaning off the counters while you handled the floor. The playlist you’d made on your phone followed you around as you did each room, his own playing even more favourites in the kitchen and then bathroom as he worked, his fight with spotify now rectified and used in his favour, music already filling the home as you tossed out bag after bag of garbage until it was time to mop.

He had the bucket already full for you when you went for it, the counters all cleaned and the bath/shower combo getting the attention it very much deserved next. It was a lot faster to wash the floors, and even though you knew they'd only get dirty again as the walls were patched up and painted eventually, it was still nice to stand in the living room and take everything in when you both were done. You dumped the dirty water down the drain and carried the bags to the road to be collected, Lester's single one joining yours when he was done scrubbing, and together you sat on the floor and decided if it'd be cheaper to patch everything up yourselves or hire someone to do it before he started moving his stuff in. 

In the end he called someone out on the patio while  you looked up weed wackers on your phone, the yard needing just as much attention; the pool would come last, it was already heading into fall after all so it'd just be covered up again before long, but it could at least be inspected and cleaned for next year once everything else was done. You ordered one for him so you could both fight over it versus the lawnmower when you found a way to bring it over, that was another expense that could wait til later, and you didn't realize you were smiling again until he walked back in and collapsed much too hard next to you. 

‘He can come tomorrow, someone canceled on him today so we lucked out,’ he informed you as he rubbed his sore butt from the fall, and you almost didn't catch it until your brain replayed what he'd said.

‘You lucked out, you mean,’ you corrected, and he winced at you as he stretched his long legs out in front of him

‘What?’

‘You said we lucked out, but you did, I'm not the one who lives here,’ you repeated, and he laughed a little as he brushed his bangs out of his eyes, his forehead shining from the sweat he'd been working up the past few hours. 

‘Oh yeah, I think I forgot that part,’ he chuckled softly, and the air changed a little as your forced humour turned to something just as soft. ‘You've been doing so much, I think I forgot… that you're not coming with me, when this is over, it just feels like you've always been here already.’ You couldn't speak, your heart pounding as he interpreted your expression as something negative. ‘Sorry, didn't mean to put you on the spot like that again-!’

‘No, you didn't, it’s just that… I just realized that I think I started moving in my stuff in my mind as I was cleaning,’ you admitted nervously, and he laughed a little more easily again as the summer breeze drifted in and filled the house with the smells of barbecues and fresh cut grass. ‘I mean, I don't need two couches all that much, you know I'm too busy to host movie nights, so if you wanted one you could have it…’

‘You sure? I really was looking forward to that sectional,’ he joked with a soft jab to your arm, which you returned with a blush.

‘I can always take it back when you find your dream couch, it'd give me an excuse to see how the place turned out.’

‘You won't visit before then?’ 

You found yourself lost for words, of course you'd visit when this was over and cleared up, but it was the way he'd said it, like he was worried it'd take a couch in order to get you back there. ‘Of course, you think I'm gunna miss out on your first movie night in your new place?’ you said as your voice clearly shook, but he didn't mention it as he laid back and stretched out his back over the hardwood. 

‘Good, I'll make extra dip that night so you can bring some home, as thanks,’ he already planned ahead, his eyes closed and unable to see the way you let your face crumble at the thought of having to leave again after all of this.

‘Well if that doesn't give me more incentive to lend it to you.’ You stood up, brushing off your pants and cracking your back before offering your hand to him. ‘Alright, that's enough sitting around, might as well get that frame built before it gets too late.’

‘Empty house with just a bed, someone might think I'm squatting,’ he snickered as you helped him stand, and when his torso hit your chest you didn't back away immediately.

‘Nonsense, there's some towels in the bathroom too,’ you said with a wink as you headed for the car, the two of you managing to haul the frame in yourself thanks to some determination and spare cardboard underneath the end dragging on the ground so his floors wouldn't get scratched.

You didn't get home until late, even more takeout bought just because you were too tired and achy to stand around and cook, absolutely not. He wasn't that happy about all the unhealthy eating he'd been doing lately so he ended up ordering a small vegetarian pizza while you secretly planned ahead and ordered a large deluxe with some chicken wings, his favourite sauce also picked out when he wasn't looking. The smell filled the car all the way home, and sure enough he didn't last long with the vegetarian when he caught sight of the deluxe taking up half the coffee table.

‘You're terrible, you know I'm trying to eat better,’ he grumbled as he reached for a slice, and you swatted at his hand before grabbing a second for yourself.

‘This is my dinner for the next three days, if you wanted this you should've asked for one,’ you said nonchalantly as you took a big, dramatic bite, Lester eyeing it before you could only take pity on him and move the box a little closer. He split his pizza with you as he picked off the toppings he didn't like to create the perfect combo of both, and you pretended you absolutely didn't grab his favorite sauce on purpose when he also gave in and stole some wings. 

You could get used to this, you really could as he moved to your couch to be closer to the pizza; he was closer to you than usual, even more than normal couch sharing standards, and you tried to keep your eyes on the screen as you reached for another slice. Your hand hit his as he grabbed another wing, both foods dropped as you apologized and looked at each other, but when his gaze lingered longer than usual, just like the closing space between you, you found yourself doing anything but looking away from his mouth. He was smiling at you, that kind, gentle smile you'd fallen in love with at Walkers all those months ago, and even though you knew he didn't need this, knew that this would only make things worse, you couldn't stop yourself when he closed his eyes and waited.

You jumped when your phone suddenly buzzed, Lester sitting back and putting some space between you again when you saw that it was Gwen on the caller ID. ‘I'm sorry, I gotta take this,’ you mumbled as he cleared his throat and went back to eating, your face hot and your frown deep as you locked yourself in your bedroom. ‘Hey, sorry, we're watching a movie,’ you said the moment she picked up, but she didn't seem to catch your tone when the sound of shuffling came through the speaker. 

‘That's fine, how's the house coming?’

‘It's all ready for him, w- he got it cleaned up today.’

‘...Were you there with him?’ She asked like she already knew, and you couldn't lie to her when the stakes were so high.

‘We were already in town to shop for a bed, we decided to go after he found one, get started on the cleanup right away,’ you explained, and her sigh was all the answer you needed. ‘I know, but you saw the place, it would've taken him forever to-’

‘That's not your concern, not right now. When is he moving in?’ she interrupted, and you looked at the closed door as the movie continued on the other side.

‘Soon, the fridge is busted and he needs a dresser along with food, we can d-’

‘He can do that, no more shopping together, no getting groceries together, tell him no the next time he asks. Now that we know it's you who's to say someone won't be able to stand up there and say they saw you arrive and leave together, while acting like a couple the entire time upon further reflection? You're smart, please don't make another stupid mistake like this again, for his sake.’ She fell silent as she let the words sink in, and you looked at his suitcases, left open while his clothes were stacked on your dresser to be a little neater, how he'd need to pack them up again within the week at this rate.

‘I won't, I'll tell him I have a case coming up so I'll be scarce, he'll be able to do the rest over the weekend,’ you decided solemnly, and she agreed with that before changing the subject.

‘I've been told that the hearing has been scheduled for two weeks from now, when the children are back in school, Rita apparently requested that they not be present, and yes, before you say anything, it'll probably be because they'll not only vouch for him, but also because they don't need to see their parents arguing to that degree,’ she sighed heavily, and you quickly entered the date into your phone before you realized that you would only be there as a witness, you had two weeks to tell him the truth before he found it out from her unless you preferred to lie to his face some more about your feelings.

‘I'll let him know, and he'll be moved by next week, he'll want to be at the thought of them visiting.’ She liked the sound of that and hung up, and you banged your forehead dully off the door before opening it up and finding him on the other side.

‘Sorry, you were taking so long, I wanted to make sure everything was okay,’ he said, and he either didn't hear the bump or was choosing to ignore it even though your forehead slightly throbbed.

‘That was Gwen, actually, the hearing is in two weeks, while Deni and Shaun should be in school,’ you informed him, and his smile grew so wide it made your heart break.

‘So we'll be able to get custody then?’ he asked excitedly, and you shook your head and took in a deep breath.

‘It all depends on how things turn out, if the judge is split then another one might be needed now that we know she might use your anger in her favour even though she was the one to hit you,’ you continued, and just the thought of this not working out was enough to bring him down again. ‘I know it seems bleak, but Les, I know that-’

‘What did you call me?’

‘Did I c-?’

‘Les, you said Les, don't call me that,’ he suddenly said as he stood to his full height, and you flubbed your apology enough times to make him sink down again. ‘Sorry, that's what Rita used to call me, I don't want to hear that name from you,’ he muttered, and before you could say anything else he headed back for the door. ‘I've got work tomorrow, I'll take the couch tonight, I'm too tired to drive all the way home.’

‘You'd leave just for that?’ you blurted out, your body moving on its own to block the doorway before you even knew what you were doing; he didn’t push you aside or get angry, but he did walk past until you had no choice but to let him through, your dinner forgotten on the table as you shut the door again the moment he sat down without saying anything more.

You kept your distance from each other the next day, him by leaving for work early, and then you by staying at work late. You left him a text saying you had your own big case coming up just as planned, but for once he didn’t reply other than to say he would be shopping so it’d be best if you found your own dinner. You ate at your desk as the sun set outside, nothing but old work you needed to sort through and properly file away on your docket as you nibbled away at cold pizza.

Once it hit the AMs you figured it was safe to go home, no matter where he slept you’d be able to avoid him if need be now that there was something off between you, and if you didn’t lay down somewhere and fast you were bound to either sleep at your desk or in your car. The drive home felt like an eternity but finally you made it, the house quiet and telling you that he was indeed asleep. You opened the door as quietly as you could, all the lights off as you traversed the long trek to your couch when you didn’t see him on it; you were about to lay down when you saw the paper on the coffee table, the words completely unintelligible in the dim light. You held it up to your face until it came into focus, your eyes taking it in several times before you dropped it and rushed to your bedroom.

You threw open the door to find the room empty, his suitcases packed and your bed made, no Lester in sight. You went back to the note and read it again with the lights on, your face contorting in misery as you sank into the cushions. It said that he’d grabbed the last of his needed furniture that trip, so there was no need for him to steal your bed or couch for another night. He thanked you for your help, and he’d pay you back for everything else at the end of the month, and there was no goodbye, just his name at the bottom. You woke up your phone to see if he’d left you any texts or voicemails but there was nothing, he’d gone shopping and then that was it.

This was for the best, you were never meant to go with him and he was never meant to stay, now he could focus on his family again without you there to distract him. You’d helped as much as he could and now he could take care of the rest by himself, he was a grown man, he needed you as a friend, not a roommate, not a partner, definitely not as a lover, everything could move forward again now. 

‘At least I can come home tomorrow,’ you figured aloud as you turned the light back off, your shoes and coat left in the middle of the living room as you shed each. ‘I can make my own dinners again, sleep in my own bed, everything is back to normal.’ You shut your bedroom door and locked it, no need to keep it open when there was no one to walk in, your bed looking a little too made as you yanked the comforter free and sent the pillows flying. ‘No more suitcases on my floor that’ll make me trip in the middle of the night, and no more ties getting stuck in my dryer because he doesn’t know how to do fucking laundry.’

You picked up your pillows and threw them back into place, your face betraying you as you attempted to force a smile and only ended up accelerating the misery. You angrily wiped at your eyes before climbing into bed, your position changing from your left side as you faced the empty space beside you, to your right where you wouldn’t eventually feel his arm wrap around your waist, to your back as you stared up at the ceiling. You blinked and more tears fell but you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he did this to you after everything you’d done for him, your hands wet as you repeatedly tried to dry your eyes.

‘Couldn’t even say goodbye to me before you left, you bastard,’ you swore to the ceiling, the space beside you feeling bigger and bigger until you felt encompassed by it. ‘You said I was the only one who didn’t leave you, why’d you throw me away, wh- no. He’s the one who left, and he didn’t even leave, he went home. That was never here, I knew this was coming, I knew…’ Your words echoed off the walls above you, reminding you even more that you were alone, and that across town he was feeling the same, and would feel the same until he was able to have his custody confirmed.

This wasn't about you, or what you’d done for him, or your feelings. This was about him, his marriage ending, and his upcoming battle for his children. That’s what it’d always been about, you’d just forgotten between him admitting that he’d almost wanted you to move in with him and you nearly kissing him again on the couch.

You rolled onto your stomach and shut your eyes tight as you tried not to remember it, that had to have been why he’d left, you’d told him you had no feelings for him and yet you’d still leaned in of your own volition that second time. He’d seen right through you, and then you’d proceeded to call him by the nickname his wife used, how many more ways could you have fucked this up? You didn’t scream into your pillow, you were too old for that now, but you might’ve raised your voice into it a little as you curled up and felt just how cold the bed was without him.

You changed your grocery day to Monday so there was no chance of running into him again, you needed to give him space after such a big mistake, but you knew you couldn’t keep it up as soon as you stepped foot into the store and knew that he wouldn’t be waiting for you both inside and at home. You promptly walked back out and found another, their stock not as good and their prices a bit higher, but this would have to become your new regular. It was at least a bit closer to home, and still very far from his house, so even if he had the same idea there’d still be no risk of him finding you here on a Monday.

You missed your Caramel Pecan as you unpacked your food, this place not having its own dessert counter since it focused mainly on brands, nothing fresh made in-store, and you definitely felt the dent in your wallet as you found yourself with barely enough to restock after the missed week of not wanting to see him again and just not getting yourself any new food. You wondered if maybe you might need to cut back to two or less trips a month with this new place, honestly you’d only started going every week in order to see him in the first place, he’d always gone through food faster since he was buying for four, maybe this would be less painful on your finances going forward.

This really would be for the best to get back to normal you decided as you made yourself something for dinner, and when you sat down in front of the TV to enjoy it you ignored all the commercials about back to school sales.

You were at work when you got the reminder for the hearing, it going off in the middle of a meeting and forcing you to remember that you’d completely forgotten to silence your phone before entering the room. Your expression went from embarrassment to concerned sadness at the popup, your boss asking if you were done as you just stared at your screen.

‘Uh, yeah, sorry about that,’ you apologized as you turned it off and got back to listening, your hand on your pocket for the entire rest of the meeting.

As soon as it was done you headed for the privacy of your office and shut the door, Gwen already dialed the moment it clicked into place. She didn’t pick up right away, she was probably busy, but the moment she did she was quick to tell you it wasn't a good time.

‘I don’t care, I need to be there tomorrow,’ you said as fast as you could, your knees giving out at the realization that you’d actually planned on saying you wouldn’t come, that you couldn’t, that you’d just be a liability. The words had fallen from you faster than you could think, and you put her on speaker and collapsed into your chair when you nearly dropped your phone. ‘I tried, I really did, but I need to know how this ends.’

‘I really can’t talk about this right now-’

‘But I need to! I’ve been trying not to think about it, just get back to normal, but every time I imagine him out there in front of everyone I just- he said everyone else left, I don’t want him to be alone tomorrow, I can’t do that to him, Gwen, I just can’t.’ Your face fell into your hand, your shoulders hunched as you gripped your chair and tried not to let everyone see outside your door how much this one person and his troubles were affecting you, and she sighed before speaking again.

‘And if tomorrow ends up like we discussed?’

‘Then I’ll deal with that too, with or without him.’ You heard another sigh, but even if she were to have you banned from the building somehow you knew you’d find your way into this, no matter if Rita had you called up there as her main proof or not.

‘Fine, I’m not your mother, but be prepared for anything,’ she warned before hanging up, she really didn’t have time for more, and you didn’t call back again as you gave yourself a minute to just breathe. She was right, you really needed to be prepared, and you were; as a lawyer you always went to the worst possible solution and planned ahead to avoid that, and that had treated you well in both your career and life until you’d met him. Before then, you never would’ve stayed the moment Rita gave you that look. You wouldn’t have gone back for movie night, and you certainly wouldn’t have invited him over.

But there was something about him that kept disarming you, that brought your guard down and made you believe that nothing bad would happen if you just went with his flow, and now look where you’d made him end up. You wouldn’t do that tomorrow, in fact you’d be the most You you’d been in months for him in order to make sure this went as smoothly as possible. You wouldn’t react with or to him at all, or anything concerning him as you sat on his side of the court. You wouldn’t speak out of turn no matter what she said, and you definitely wouldn’t speak to him.

And if they did indeed find it necessary to call in witnesses to prove their statements, then you would swallow down your feelings as deep as they would go and prove to everyone that you really were just his friend and that she was wrong, because that was the truth.

You couldn’t concentrate after that, needing to call in early to head home and prepare, and you spent the entire rest of the day picking out your outfit for tomorrow, setting way too many alarms, and preparing a king’s feast of food to bring to his house no matter the outcome; you knew it wouldn’t help, but if it went in her favour then you knew he’d spiral again, lose all hope for the future, and you would not let him do that alone. You packed it all into a bunch of tupperware you rarely used outside of work lunches and stuffed it into the fridge, and by the time that, a change of outfit just in case, and a shower were finally over you ended up tired and ready for bed.

You set one more alarm and placed your phone on your nightstand before attempting to sleep, your eyelids heavy but refusing to stay closed as you went over everything a hundred more times. Your mind was fully racing in the dark and quiet when your phone buzzed and lit you up, and you considered ignoring it before accepting that maybe a little eye strain might work in your favour. You grabbed it and tapped the screen to check the notification, all the tired leaving your body when you saw what was waiting for you.

Lester Billings says: I miss you

You swallowed as you rolled onto your stomach, your phone taking up your pillow as you propped yourself up on your elbows. ‘It’s been lonely here, I won’t lie,’ you said aloud as you typed, and you almost deleted it before pressing send. Three dots bounced at the bottom of the message as he typed back, your back aching from the angle but you refused to move as the next words popped up.

I haven’t been able to sleep since I got here This mattress isn’t very comfortable

You let out a small laugh, your eyes already starting to cloud as you rested your chin on the end of the pillow before your hands. ‘I knew you picked too soon, you should’ve tried out more.’

I should’ve gotten your opinion Your bed is comfier

You shut your eyes tight and buried your face in the pillow a moment, another ping making you look up again when the pillow started to wetten.

Will you be there tomorrow

‘Yes,’ you answered immediately, your back still aching as you readjusted and typed as fast as you could, ‘if you want me to be, I wasn't sure after you left so suddenly.’ You sent it before you could even think to type something else, your eyes widening in fear at this confession, and when more dots bounced you closed your eyes so you wouldn’t see his answer. Your phone buzzed but you waited for as long as you could before opening them again, a small noise leaving you as you read.

I thought you wanted me to go

‘What? No,’ you told your phone, and you sat up to call him only for him to decline it. ‘I never wanted you to go, I’m sorry if I rushed you,’ you hurriedly sent, and there was a bit of a pause before his next reply.

You told Gwen you’d lie to me Said I’d be out by the end of the week I thought you didn’t want me there

You tried again to call him but he again declined, and you were in the middle of typing out the explanation when he messaged you again first.

I can’t sleep I want to see you Can you come over Yes.

You didn’t even change out of your pajamas as you kicked off the blankets and hurried for the door, your car started by the time you slipped into the one pair of sandals that you owned but never wore. You almost forgot to lock up you were in such a hurry, the streets thankfully almost empty as you fought not to speed to him. The lights were all off and his car was in the driveway, the yard now cleaned up while he was there since you guessed he also needed the distraction. Your hand was raised to knock when the door opened, and there he stood, in pajama pants and an undershirt, his hair a mess and bags under his eyes as he looked down at you.

‘Lester, I-’ you began before he pulled you into a tight hug, and you had no one to hide from as you nuzzled into his shoulder and held him just as tightly back. He led you inside, the door locked behind you, you weren’t going home, and you tossed your keys onto the kitchen counter just out of reach before following him to the bedroom. He’d bought himself a dresser in your absence, all of his clothes tucked neatly inside so his suitcases could finally be retired, and his bed looked big and lonely and not as comfortable as it did when you’d helped him set it up.

‘It’s not as comfortable as yours,’ he repeated quietly, his first words to you since he’d slept on your couch that final time, and you grabbed his hand and gently pulled him towards it.

‘Let me get that second opinion, then,’ you whispered, and when you kneeled onto the mattress you sank right down. You laid to his right, the two of you on your backs with space between as you stared at the ceiling, the comforter trapper underneath you but also unneeded in the summer heat, his AC must also not be working that well. You noticed he had his window open to let in the breeze, and you breathed deep when the wind blew the curtains open a little more. ‘It’s not that bad,’ you finally decided, and he turned to look at you before rolling onto his side.

‘Why did you want me to go?’ he asked without wasting another second, and you shut your eyes before rolling to face him.

‘I never did, it was Gwen, she was worried someone might think that I- that we…’

‘That you were the one Rita was worried about, I get it,’ he realized, but he didn’t look very relieved. ‘I had a feeling, but I wish you’d have told me, I really thought that you were… leaving me too.’

‘I was supposed to keep my distance from you, that was her legal advice, for me to not be seen with you and make anyone think we were together,’ you admitted now that you could, and again he looked like he understood but that that didn’t help it hurt any less. ‘But hanging out with you, going shopping and then cleaning this place up, I didn’t know how to stay away, and I knew if I couldn’t pull this off then it’d only hurt you in the end.’

‘To tell you the truth, I’d have rather been kicked out for that than spend the past two weeks thinking no one wanted me in their life anymore.’ His voice was low, and he was mostly in shadow, but you could still see him crying as he closed his eyes, and when you touched his cheek to wipe the tears away he held your hand in place. ‘I haven’t been alone since Rita and I moved in together, and even before then I always had my family or my roommates; I don’t know how to do this on my own…’

‘You’re not, I’m here, I’ll always be here, because that’s what friends are for,’ you murmured as you brushed your thumb over his cheek to collect the next tear before it hit his nose, and he choked out a small laugh before holding you hand to his chest.

‘I love you,’ he told you then, and you were just about to say it back when he continued. ‘You might be the best friend I’ve ever had, maybe even better than Rita was to me, I’m so glad I met you.’

‘Y-yeah, I’m glad too.’ You were never supposed to be in this part of his life. You were the reason this was happening. He would never feel the same. ‘Do you think you’re ready to get some sleep, now? Big day tomorrow, after all.’

‘I can try, now that you’re here,’ he smiled before getting up to pull the comforter free, and you masked your pain with a smile of your own as you laid back against his chest, his arm around your waist and his soft snores telling you it’d worked again not too long after. You wiped away your tears before placing your hand over his, the cicadas crying outside for you as you also drifted off with the breeze.

Your many alarms came in handy, the first failing to wake either of you in your exhaustion. It was the third that worked since they were so close together, this one making you crack open an eye to check the time instead of just to find the device and shut it up. Your heart raced as the adrenaline woke you fully, and his arm was still around you as you tried to sit and get him up. Seeing him there, still sleeping so peacefully gave you pause however, you’d really missed this sight, but it wasn't yours to keep, he’d sleep better when his kids were able to visit, this was the last time.

You swallowed it down and gave him a shake, Lester startling awake and blinking around in confusion, but when he saw you there, looking down at him with the sunlight streaming in and the wind pushing aside the curtains to cool the room a little more, he actually looked like he… 

He didn’t, he couldn’t, he’d said so already, and you held up your phone so he could see the time. ‘I’ve gotta head back and get ready, today’s the day,’ you whispered as his loving smile faded, and it was replaced with a serious expression as he nodded and sprung into action. He also had his outfit prepared, one of his nicer suits for work, the one he’d been wearing when you first met him you realized as he held it up and transferred it from his closet to the end of his bed while he picked out a tie.

‘You should’ve brought your clothes, we could’ve gone in together,’ he said as he looked between the red and the blue patterned ties he was torn between, and you froze as you straightened your shirt before another smile was forced.

‘I’m supposed to not add any fuel to the fire, that would’ve set everything ablaze,’ you chuckled a bit sadly, and he gave you a small look before holding the red up to his chest to look at in his dresser mirror.

‘I don’t care anymore, she can think what she wants, I don’t see her standing here with me. Which one do you like better? I can’t decide and I’ll end up without one if you leave.’ He held both up for you to see, and you decided on the blue after imagining it along with his suit. ‘Thank you, I was thinking the same but I wasn't sure.’

He set it down with his suit and moved onto some socks and other things to pull on after his shower, so you took that as your cue to leave as you slipped past him and headed for the door. Now that it was bright out you could see that he’d really only gotten the dresser and a new fridge, the old stove still in place and everything else unnecessary and just cutting into his finances for now, and you couldn’t help but think that your second couch would fit perfectly in the space against the wall leading to the bedrooms. You located your keys and stepped back into your sandals before opening the door to leave, and you were just about to walk through the threshold when his hands found you again.

They both slipped around your waist, holding you in place and keeping you there with him for just a moment longer, and you spun in his arms in order to hug him back when he surprised you with a kiss to your forehead. It was the first kiss he’d initiated, a show of thanks for coming over and clearing the air, and while it was still platonic as needed it made you wish you could have more all the same, your hands finding his chest, then his shoulders before you pulled him into his hug.

‘I’ll see you there, I wouldn’t miss this for the world,’ you whispered against his chest, and his right hand found the back of your neck before he let you go.

‘See you there,’ he repeated back to you, and then you were leaving, the shape of him on the other side of the glass blurry as he watched you go until your car was pulling out of his driveway.

You hurried home, no time to waste this morning, and you left your car idle and unlocked as you ran inside and had the quickest shower known to man. You got dressed even faster, you didn’t need to be there for hours but you couldn’t stay in your home knowing this was coming, the plan to have some breakfast and coffee at the shop just down the street from the courthouse. You went to check your phone to see if Gwen had said anything when you remembered you’d left it in your car, and you were thankful you lived where you did as it hit you that you almost handed your entire car to potential thieves.

It wouldn’t have mattered, you’d have found a way over regardless, and you hopped back into the seat and headed over for that breakfast before your body decided that you were much too nervous to eat. Parking was thankfully available despite the location thanks to the early hour, and you tossed a bunch of change into the meter before walking in and finding yourself a seat by the window. It was a quaint little place, you knew of it but had never been in before, and it was decently busy with what had to be its regulars as they all chatted and filled the room with light conversation.

‘Can I start you off with a coffee this morning?’ a young man in his what had to be his late 20s asked not too long after you sat down, and you stared at the menu he offered before taking it and ordering your usual blend. ‘We’re doing a special today, couples get their second breakfast half off if there’s anyone else joining you today?’

‘No, I’m not waiting for anyone, thank you,’ you murmured even as you glanced out the window like you were, just to watch for when he’d arrive, and your server nodded and didn’t even miss a beat.

‘Guess I don’t need to tell you that groups get their own discount, then,’ he attempted to joke, and you glanced up at him and his sweet grin that relaxed you enough to smile genuinely back.

‘No, I guess you don’t,’ you answered before finally going to the menu, and you ordered yourself a light breakfast to ease your hungry but also very worried stomach while you waited. He wrote it down, took the menu back, and headed for the kitchen to drop it off, your eyes catching sight of his haircut pulled back into a small ponytail before he disappeared from sight. You went back to your window as you waited for your coffee, and it’d just been placed in front of you when the bell above the door jingled and alerted him to the new person he’d have to talk to.

To your surprise they sat down across from you, and you looked up to see that it was Rita. Your entire body tensed as you failed not to glare, and he looked between the two of you before asking if you knew each other.

‘Not particularly,’ you said through gritted teeth, but she wasn't fazed by your new anger as she just ordered a mint tea and black coffee to go along with two bagels, one raisin with butter and one everything with cream cheese, obvious breakfast for her and whoever she hired to take Lester’s kids from him. You wished you could secretly tell your server to spit in her tea before you calmed and collected yourself, you were an adult, not a child as he walked away to grab everything for her, and she remained across from you as she folded her hands over the table.

‘I assume I don’t need to ask why you’re so close to the courthouse this morning,’ she remarked as she also looked out the window, and you shook your head slowly as you continued your fight to not add more fuel to the fire. ‘Is he meeting you here?’

‘No, I came in to have breakfast alone,’ you replied levelly, you wouldn’t give in to her provoking now that you both knew what she thought of you.

‘No time to do it at home?’ She was probing you to make you slip, probably to bring this back to her lawyer as just a little extra last minute kindling, and you shook your head and sipped at your coffee. ‘I heard he was able to find a place already, does he really think that I’ll let him see our children after this?’ Stay calm, you still had yet to confirm anything about her theories, just ignore her. ‘Because I won’t, not after what he did. I brought a picture of our wall to show the judge today, if such a sweet man can do that to the wall then how long will it be before he’s hurting my children?’

‘Tha-’ You cut yourself off so fast you nearly spilt your coffee, your hands grasped so hard around the cup that it was burning your palms, and you didn’t miss her expression as she smugly got out her buzzing phone.

‘Right on time,’ she said as she stood, your server waiting for her at the counter as he popped the lids onto her drinks. ‘I’ll see you inside, I’m sure the judge will be thrilled that you didn’t hide from this.’

‘I’m not hiding from anything,’ you snapped before you could stop, your eyes only on her as she stopped and looked back at you.

‘Good, that’ll make things so much easier.’

You didn’t look at her as she picked up her food and walked out, your burning hands pressed to the cold wood to cool them down as you glared at your cup, your shoulders so tense that the pain traveling up your neck was about to give you a headache. You didn’t move apart from finding new cold places on the table until your breakfast arrived, but you felt even less hungry than before despite your server’s wishes to enjoy. It took you until your eggs had stopped steaming before you attempted to eat, but every thought went back to her and how she was probably telling her lawyer all about your eventual appearance before them all. 

As such you ate slow, the time ticking away as the roads filled out and the sun rose higher; people flooded the streets and avoided your gaze as you searched for a familiar navy car, and the only thing that made you snap out of your search was your phone reminding you that your meter was about to run out. ‘Shit, I’ll be right back, need to put more money in,’ you told your server as he went to pass, and you left your phone on the table as collateral after pointing out your car through the window. You raced out, barely avoiding two old ladies currently walking by, and fished for more change when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

‘Looks like we’re early,’ Lester said behind you, and when you turned you saw Gwen beside him, her face very stern at the fact that he was already standing too close to you. ‘You just finish?’

‘I’ve still got half a plate, just needed to refill this,’ you let him know as you loaded up the meter as high as it would go, and he smiled warmly at you as you led him inside. Your server looked between you all and you asked for two more menus after thanking him for his patience, and just as you made room for him to sit beside you you found Gwen sliding into the space instead. He sat across from you, right where Rita had been not an hour earlier, and he looked nervous but also calm as he opened the menu and started choosing. ‘Looks like you can give us that breakfast talk now,’ you joked at your server, and he readied his notepad as he recalled the deal.

‘Since you haven’t paid yet I’ll count this as a group, but since families and friends have been stopping in together leading up to the start of school we have a deal going on, groups of three and up get a 20% discount off their total, and a 30% discount if you order the Back to School Special,’ he explained, Gwen clearly not listening but Lester paying attention fully as he set the menu down.

‘What’s that?’

‘It used to just be for kids, but everyone started ordering it, so- excuse me, it includes three meats, three eggs, home fries, toast, and a free glass of juice or milk, everything a growing kid needs before a busy day at school,’ he told him, and Lester smiled wide and asked for just that, his drink of choice orange juice since lactose tended to upset him in large amounts and he was feeling sick enough already. It was too much information and it made you smile fondly as your server let out a laugh he then quickly stifled as he took his menu back.

‘I’ll just have the coffee and brown sugar oatmeal, thanks,’ Gwen said as she handed her own menu back, the folder she’d been holding now open and taking up the available space the moment he left you. ‘I figured out who her lawyer is when we parked, I’d know that car anywhere, belongs to a scrappy kid who’s been known to hire people to help him get dirt on his opposition,’ she told you as she flipped to a page he needed to fill out while they had time, one final thing to prove that he had a suitable house and a steady income now that both things were true. 

‘Should we be worried about him then?’ you asked as he signed, and she bit her thumbnail as she frowned at the table, the most emotion she’d shown over this case other than the realization that you were the assumed lover.

‘I’m not sure, you haven’t spent any more time together lately, have you?’ she hissed under her breath, and you pictured yourself going to his house but recalling that no one had been around thankfully.

‘No, not since he moved,’ you lied, and she nodded to herself as he finished up and slid the folder back over.

‘All she has is speculation, so focusing on proving that you deserve joint custody is all that matters today,’ she decided, and Lester breathed a little unsteadily before his breakfast arrived. He thanked your server and dug right in, his nerves making him eat faster than he should’ve as you’d come to expect, and you went to reach for his hand to make him aware that he should slow down when you felt Gwen nudge your foot. She did so instead, and he drank half his orange juice to wash it all down, the glass thankfully not kid-sized as he went back to eating. ‘It’ll be okay, let’s just focus on saving this marriage and getting your kids back right now.’

‘Oh, I don’t want to save this marriage,’ he suddenly said around a mouthful of overly jammed toast, and your head shot up so fast in hope that your already stiff neck ached in protest. ‘No, I thought I did at first, but she can have her divorce, I just want my kids back, that’s all that matters to me now.’

You ignored the nudge this time as you held his hand, proud of him for being able to let go of such a long relationship now that it’d turned to this, he was aware that what they had was gone and that it would be different if they tried to reconnect. You gave him a reassuring smile that it’d be okay going forward now, he didn’t have to try and mend what she’d broken, and he returned it before the actual kick to your leg made you let go. He went back to eating, his pace normal and not bound to make him sick now, and you knew you couldn’t let him hear what you needed to tell the woman beside you. 

You got out your phone and quickly typed out a message to her, her phone pinging and making her grab it from her purse until she saw it was from you. She frowned but opened it all the same just to see that you’d said Rita talked to you, and you both knew you couldn’t ditch him to talk this time, not this close to the courthouse. She tapped back a quick reply which you answered just as fast, the two of you secretly typing under the table as he ate and watched the people go by, completely unaware of the reason why Gwen then sighed into her oatmeal.

She put away her phone, she wasn't too worried since his kids were his main priority, and quickly finished up her meager breakfast as a clock nearby chimed loudly. ‘We need to head over soon, it’s almost time,’ she reminded you both as you cleared your plates, and as soon as the bill was settled between the three of you you all headed out for the courthouse.

‘Oh wait, lemme fill the meter more, just in case,’ you said when you realized you didn’t know how long this would take since there was a lot to go over, and you let them go on ahead to Gwen’s preference as you fished for more coins to replace the time you’d spent inside.

‘Got some change to spare?’ someone asked as you found a quarter, and you frowned when you turned to see an unfamiliar face to this area approach you with an outstretched hand.

‘Yeah, uh, just let me do this first,’ you answered warily before filling the meter back up, a $5 bill added to your hand of remaining change so the man could get something to eat.

‘Thanks, you’re the first person all morning who’s given me the time of day,’ he told you almost sleazily as he counted the change, his eye on the seat you’d just vacated through the window as your server cleared your plates. ‘Heard this place is good, you just come from breakfast?’

‘Yeah, the coffee is cheap, so that should be good for a cup and something to eat,’ you replied, ready to walk away when he carefully sidestepped into your path.

‘That’s what I heard, yeah, anything you can suggest?’

‘I have somewhere I need to be, if you’ll excuse me,’ you tried to say without provoking him, everyone else giving you a wide berth as he stood in front of you again, and your eyes narrowed as you looked him over and realized he was dressed a little too well to be homeless.

‘Oh, of course, I was just wondering if you knew that guy you were with was a cheater, doesn’t make for a very good breakfast date.’

You froze as he grinned at you, your phone coming out to quickly text Gwen as he pocketed your change and crossed his arms. ‘I’m sorry, what did you say your name was?’ you asked as you typed, and he glanced at it before smiling for the camera in case you were taking a picture or video of him, he’d done this before.

‘You can call me Harley, you checking with that hot lawyer friend of yours to make sure I won’t be trouble?’ he asked as he tried to see your phone, and you held it to your chest seconds before her voice rang out. He heard her and spun to see her running back over, Lester waiting on the steps of the courthouse for you, and Harley grinned at you again before finally getting out of your way and heading down the street into a large crowd. He was gone instantly, Gwen out of breath as she arrived and made sure everything was okay.

‘I’m fine, but I think that might’ve been her lawyer,’ you figured as you turned back to see only strangers.

‘No, that wasn't him, but he might’ve been the guy he hired this time to follow Lester, have you seen him before?’

‘No, never, this was the first,’ you thought as you desperately searched your mind for any sign of him, but there was nothing, even though something about him felt so strangely familiar that you couldn’t place no matter how hard you tried.

‘C’mon, it’s starting in ten, we need to get in there,’ she said as she placed a hand on your back, and you crossed the street to where he was waiting nervously.

‘What happened?’ he asked as soon as you reached him, and you made sure to keep some space between you as you fixed yourself up a little.

‘Some creep asked me for change, nothing to worry about,’ you lied, and you let them go in first several minutes before you entered the building. You’d been in there many times before for your own cases, you knew the exact way to go as you headed for the main court where this would be held, and sure enough there was no one on his side while a few of their friends as well as Rita’s parents sat on her side with her, baby Annie currently sleeping in her grandmother’s lap. You tried to avoid the front row but you couldn’t, not when all of them stared you down in disgust, they all believed her claims since you were new, and you ignored them as you broke your first rule and sat directly behind him and Gwen as she prepared her opening statement.

In order to not glare very unprofessional daggers at the people who’d once claimed to be his friends, you instead finally got a look at her lawyer, and you outwardly groaned so loud that he heard it; he turned to find the source, his grin very wide and blue eyes very wild as he whispered something to Rita that you couldn’t hear. She didn’t turn, but she did smile as she looked over the papers in front of her, and you leaned forward with a quick and quiet whistle to get Gwen’s attention.

‘Why didn’t you tell me she hired Matt?’ you hissed between your teeth, and she looked at you in surprise.

‘You know him?’

‘Yeah, the prick’s been vying for a promotion for years and stole so many cases from me and many others to try and get it, the guy’s an asshole,’ you sneered a little too loud, and you heard him snicker from his table across the way.

‘All the more reason you stay as uninvolved as possible going forward, don’t bring work into this,’ she warned very seriously, and you nodded as you sat back against the unforgiving bench. It wasn't too long after when the judge walked in, and you, Gwen, and Matt all rose before everyone else on instinct. You liked this judge, she was around your age and very beautiful, but she had a temper like fire when unfairness was found, and you knew if Matt tried anything she’d be fast to shut it down. You smirked at him as everyone sat again, she’d see through all of this and clearly favour Lester after all, you had nothing to worry about as you sat back and relaxed for the first time in weeks.

‘Good morning, Judge Burkhardt,’ Gwen said as she stood again after a moment, the hearing officially started as she addressed the woman sitting above you all. ‘I’m here today on behalf of my client, Lester Billings, who wishes to contend his ex-wife’s claim of full custody.’

‘I was under the impression we’d also be discussing his previous concerns about the separation, as well,’ the Judge wondered as she went over her own notes, Gwen shaking her head and presenting her with a copy of everything she’d been collecting the past few weeks.

‘That’s no longer a concern, what he does care about is the very real possibility of losing the ability to see his children,’ she clarified as she went back to her seat, Rita whispering something to Matt before frowning at Lester.

‘I’ve got it, I’ll handle it,’ you heard him whisper back to her, and you felt your moment of relaxation start to fade at the tone of his voice.

‘If that’s what he wishes, please proceed.’

‘Thank you, now, before Ms. Rothschild can tell you her reasons for this, let me explain to you the situation from my client’s end, before bias and misunderstandings come into play; what brought this about was a horrible lack of trust between two people who’ve been together for a very long time, and who knew each other for even longer. Where there should’ve been love, jealousy arose. When there should’ve been understanding, stubbornness had taken its place. And when it was time to listen, to believe what my client was saying, there was only refusal, leading to an argument that could’ve been very much avoided.’ Gwen looked to Lester for this final part, and he covered his eyes with his hands as the guilt resurfaced once more.

You wanted so badly to go to him again but you couldn’t, the partition separating you from him feeling more like a sprawling chasm in order to stop the Judge from believing what Matt was bound to say next. So you remained seated, your hands clasped tightly in your lap as the Judge listened and read over everything Gwen had collected about that night.

‘Mistakes were made on both ends, but he doesn’t deserve to be punished with such severity, not when he loves his children this much. This is a man who can’t live without the love of his family, and if that’s taken away from him, then I fear that it’ll affect not only them as they grow up without their father, even if Ms. Rothschild does decide to remarry in the future, but also Mr. Billings as well. Thank you.’ She went back to her seat, Lester’s eyes sad but his smile thankful for what she was doing for him, and she stopped him from looking back at you as Matt loudly cleared his throat and took his turn.

‘What my client is here today to achieve is not just the separation of two people whose relationship has fallen by the wayside, but to terminate an agreement that was so blatantly broken. To allow someone who would disregard the feelings of others to that degree, and then proceed to take his anger out on her when called out on it, would be a serious risk to the children as the younger ones grow and develop.’ You grabbed onto the bench and dug your nails into the wood until it hurt as Matt strolled casually in front of the Judge while he spoke, his eyes occasionally drifting to you as he fought not to smile just because he knew you were the cause of it all.

‘I see here Mr. Billings became violent?’ the Judge confirmed, and Matt nodded in fake solemness as he went back to his table.

‘Punched a wall, their bedroom wall right next to her to be precise, so who’s to say he wasn't aiming for her and simply missed?’

‘I didn’t!’ Lester spoke up, the Judge giving him a warning look for speaking out of turn but ultimately not calling him out while also letting Matt continue.

‘In this picture my client has provided, you can see the actual indent where he made contact, note the sunken area from his knuckles, I know I wouldn’t want my kid to be anywhere near someone like that,’ he said a bit too casually as he shared the photo with her, only to receive his own visual warning for not taking this seriously. ‘Anyway, my point is that Mr. Billings is a liar, a cheat, and now, as of that night, prone to violent tendencies as well, which, if everyone may agree with me, is not a very suitable lifestyle when raising children.’

A chorus of agreements came from her side of the room, and you actually opened your mouth that time before shutting it tight and biting your lip. Matt collected his photo and went to sit back down, but not before shooting you a glance, and you were glad he worked on another floor than you because you were about to plan ahead and trash his office come Monday. He relished in your expression and sat back down again, the Judge going over the papers in front of her before looking forward again.

‘It says here that the main cause of separation was cheating, but according to his report he claims that to be the misunderstand that’s been mentioned; I know it doesn’t matter in the end since this seems to be mutual at this stage, but I feel like it would be better going forward to have this addressed so as to not give the children a skewed opinion of their father, if you don’t mind,’ the Judge said with a frown as she looked between both parties, and you quietly let out a calm breath while you mentally prepared yourself for what was to come.

‘It’s fine by us, Ms. Rothschild was looking forward to this getting cleared up,’ Matt loudly proclaimed so there’d be no chance you didn’t hear it, Gwen not as loudly agreeing as the Judge nodded and motioned for them to proceed. ‘Ms. Rothschild, if you would kindly take the stand so everyone can hear your side of things.’

‘This isn’t a trial, she can stay where she is,’ the Judge was quick to correct, but Matt’s smile was still wide as he looked back at his audience.

‘Yes, but we’ve also brought in some… ex-mutual friends of theirs who’d like to back up her claims, if you don’t mind,’ he informed her, and she considered it before deciding it might help to get their outsiders opinions even though you knew they were bound to side entirely with her until the truth became skewed even more, this wasn't fair. ‘Thank you, Your Honour; Rita, if you’d please?’

She stood and walked over to the stand, the bailiff overseeing everything shrugging before bringing over the court’s bible and having her say her oath of truth before returning to his spot. ‘Well, I’d say it started a few months back, when he returned from getting groceries. We decided that that would be his thing since I’d be at home watching Annie after preschool, and it was just easier for him to do it on his way home,’ she began, your eyes switching between her and Lester as he listened intently. ‘It was subtle at first, he’d get home a little later, something new would be in his cart that I hadn’t asked for, but it wasn't until he started talking about them that I knew something was wrong.’

You saw him open his mouth to object but Gwen silenced him, this was her time to talk, he would get his soon enough.

‘It was so little I barely noticed, just some dinner conversation as everyone talked about their day, but when they kept getting brought up, not just on Thursday but throughout the week, and then when my daughter asked for some friends to sleep over now that summer had started, he ended up turning it into this big party. We’ve thrown them before, we’re very social people, but there was something about this one that felt off, like it was just an excuse to get as many people there as possible.’ 

She paused, looking troubled as she thought back to it, and you hadn’t known that the party you’d been invited to was actually just supposed to be for her, that explained why so many of them had stayed when they went in for the night. 

‘But I knew something was wrong when he brought home that cheesecake, neither of us even like Caramel Pecan, and I tried to excuse it like maybe he’d gotten it for the girls, or maybe he was trying something new, but the moment I saw him give them a piece I knew it. I knew that there was something going on behind my back.’

The Judge frowned but didn’t say anything, murmurs drifting over from your right, and you looked at Lester as he and Gwen said something so quiet you couldn’t hear a single word even from that close. ‘A gift for the secret lover, was it?’ Matt asked like he didn’t already know the answer, and Rita nodded as she shot you a cold look.

‘And it wasn't just that, he also had them sit next to him while we watched movies, and I watched as he grabbed them around the waist and threw them into the pool so they could flirt not just in front of me but in front of all our friends, like he was flaunting the fact that he’d found someone else at me,’ she continued angrily, her voice rising as she turned her attention to him, and he tried again to speak only to be silenced. ‘He kept inviting them to our house after that, kept throwing parties of various sizes and always inviting them even though they barely knew each other, and they didn’t come often but whenever they did his eyes were always on them, I saw him do it.’

Your mouth fell open as you let out a soft gasp, and Lester stared straight ahead at her, completely ignoring you as you tried to think of him watching you while you were around, but you’d always tried so hard to keep it platonic, to not overstep any boundaries and stay out of that part of his life, had he really been looking at you the entire time?

‘That was when you decided to ask him about it, right before your vacation, correct?’ Matt asked like this was the best drama he’d ever gotten to witness because she was talking about you, someone he personally knew and contended against.

‘Correct, I didn’t want to go anywhere with him if he’d be thinking about someone else, and I certainly didn’t want to risk him inviting them along on our family vacation.’

‘Was there ever an actual concern about that?’ the Judge interrupted, and Rita shrugged before nodding.

‘Yes, at one point he asked if maybe we should let the kids bring one friend each so they could have more fun, teased about asking the Himuras since Deni is friends with their daughters, but it was the way he said it, like he wanted to ask someone but not them, that this was just another excuse, and that’s when I asked him to be honest with me about the cheating.’ Lester was shaking his head as she spoke, but whether it was because she was wrong or if he regretted what he said because it was true made you unsure of everything you believed before you walked through those doors.

‘And we know how that turned out; he denied your claims, refused to name the lover himself, and when you refused to say it he became violent-’

‘Objection, Mr. Billings told me explicitly that he never answered her questions in her favour because he wasn't aware of what she was even talking about, because this is all just assumptions and slander,’ Gwen interrupted heatedly, she also knew what he’d said and this was making her lose control of her emotions in your stead. 

‘He didn’t answer because he’d been caught and didn’t want to admit it and you know it,’ Matt said dismissively with a sneer, the Judge banging her gavel just once to quiet him when she remembered there was a sleeping baby present. 

‘Sustained until proven otherwise, leave the judgment up to me, if you’ll please,’ she warned him, and he sat back and crossed his arms as Rita was encouraged to finish.

‘He did become angry when I wouldn’t tell him what he already knew, and when he hit the wall I felt unsafe for the first time around him,’ she concluded seriously, her parents glaring at him as Annie kept sleeping in blissful ignorance of the situation. ‘That was when I asked for custody, and kicked him out of our room. After that he began to stay elsewhere, I never looked him up.’

Matt chuckled to himself but didn’t say anything, and when you felt your skin crawl you noticed that he was staring at you again. ‘Thank you, and if it would please you, Your Honour, I would like to call some friends of theirs to the stand, to share what they saw as well and to prove that this isn’t just a bad take formed out of jealousy.’

‘I’ll allow it.’

You watched as the couple from movie night entered together, their own oaths spoken before they agreed that he’d been oddly close to you during the party, how he favoured you during movie night by making you extra dip even though he never once did that for any of them, and some of them he’d known since highschool. They hadn’t wanted to believe it, but something changed in him since you’d appeared in his life, a change you’d never noticed because you only saw this new him, apparently. You could almost cry, the way they were saying it could almost make you believe he’d fallen in love with you, to the point where you were genuinely unsure if Matt had coached them to say all this for Rita’s sake or if this was the truth.

‘Sounds pretty cut and dry to me, no further questions,’ Matt said as they sat down, and the Judge looked equally as convinced as she turned her attention back to Lester.

‘Indeed, but we still need to hear from Mr. Billings,’ she reminded everyone, and he was about to stand when Matt held up a hand to interrupt.

‘Actually, I’d also like to call a colleague of mine to the stand before we get to him,’ he told everyone, and you saw Gwen twitch just a little just as you yourself did. 

‘Is this colleague here?’ the Judge asked, and he nodded before whistling; the man from the street, Harley, then appeared from somewhere behind you, he’d been hiding out of sight and was holding a coffee and a manilla envelope as he walked up to Matt and handed it over. He opened it up, peeked inside, and grinned so excitedly that it almost made you sick as he then turned to you and motioned for you to come forward.

You stood and did as he asked, it was finally your turn, and Lester watched you go along with everyone else as you sat in the worn seat and tried to keep your breathing level. ‘Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?’ the bailiff asked you as your hand shook over the cover, and you looked to Lester before steeling your gaze in Matt’s direction, his expression telling you that he thought this would be not only his win but your loss, that maybe this would finally be enough to up his credit enough to join the big leagues, this imaginary promotion that’ll finally tell him he was a success.

‘I do,’ you replied honestly, and he shook his head in amused pity before removing the papers along with a phone from the envelope to lay out on the table. He stood again, he couldn’t remain seated with this, and he cracked his neck for show before jumping right into it.

‘Thursday, May 9th, that’s when you first met him, wasn't it?’ he asked smugly as he checked over his notes, the Judge the last to know that it was all leading up to this as she sat up a little straighter.

‘Yes, that was the day I first spoke to Le- Mr. Billings at Walkers,’ you confirmed professionally, determined to not make this any worse than it could be, you could do this.

‘But it wasn't until a few weeks later that you were invited to his home, correct?’

‘That’s right, you know a bunch of us were collaborating on the Krill case around that time, I wasn't able to get much shopping done with the late hours,’ you replied, and he hummed and flipped the page.

‘I remember, you guys stole that one from me,’ he muttered because he couldn’t help but let it out, and you tried not to smirk amidst your attempts to keep everything calm and collected. ‘So that means you only met twice before you became friends?’

‘I guess- I mean, yes, technically, but that second time we spent around 40 to 45 minutes getting to know each other, the first time he had to run home shortly after I met him.’

‘And you were unaware that he’d been bringing you up around his family and friends the whole time you were kept away by work?’

Your eye twitched as you glanced at the man in question, and you found a lovely section of wall to stare out down the aisle instead. ‘I was not, no.’

‘And you still accepted his invitation, despite meeting once pretty much?’ He was baiting you, and you very much knew it as you acquainted yourself with the wall in the distance.

‘He seemed pleasant enough, and I don’t meet many people outside of work, I thought it might be fun to give it a try,’ you rationalized in front of everyone, the other reason that you simply liked him and wanted to see him again obviously left out.

‘And the cheesecake…?’

‘We’d stopped by the dessert counter and they only sold it in full cakes, not slices, he bought it as incentive for me to join so I could have some, a friendly encouragement for me to accept,’ you explained, and Rita scoffed as the Judge raised her eyebrow at Lester. ‘At least, that’s what I assumed, he never said it in words.’ It was a lie, an actual lie, and you watched his expression change as he became unsure if he’d said that to you or not.

‘Which you did accept, in the end, did you not? Directly from him according to Rita,’ Matt confirmed, and you nodded as you recalled that night.

‘He was handing it out to not just me, but a few others as well, I wasn't a special case,’ you clarified as you remembered him grabbing several slices from both cheesecakes to hand out to those still sitting and getting ready for the movie. ‘And before you mention the pool, yes, he did throw me in, but by pushing me, not by grabbing me around the waist, I don’t know where she got that from. He pushed me, jumped in, and then others did as well, it was a pool party after all and now that all the kids were inside or asleep it was the adults’ turn to swim.’

Matt frowned as he went back to his notes, another page flipped to as your shoulders relaxed just a little again. ‘And the movie gathering, with the dip?’

‘I arrived late so I’d missed out on it, he made more so I could enjoy some as well, and when I got my portion it was shared with everyone else, if I’d arrived on time he more than likely would’ve kept watching the movie.’ You felt satisfied when you saw the couple nod like they’d forgotten that point, you were winning them over, and they looked at you a little less dirtily as you fought the urge not to smile. ‘He only kept inviting me to things because we only had time to socialize while we grocery shopped, which isn’t very good for a new friendship, this was his way of keeping us familiar and not just shopping strangers since he knew my weekdays were full, I’m sure you’d be more familiar with that if you had more clients.’

A faint snicker filled the room at your comment, Matt’s face going red before he got serious; he flipped ahead so fast he nearly tore the pages, and when he found what he was looking for he looked like he was the cat and you were the canary. ‘Keep it up while you can,’ he whispered before smiling at the Judge, Rita looking worried until she saw his expression. ‘Thursday, July 18th, almost an entire month after the divorce was called, you went back to his home to find him, did you not?’

The smile you didn’t realize you were wearing then started to fall, and you concentrated on your patch of wall again as you nodded. ‘I did, yes. I hadn’t seen him in two weeks and I was worried.’

‘Oh, just two? Wouldn’t he have been missing for a month?’ he quickly asked, looking like he’d caught you, and you nibbled your lip a moment in frustration.

‘I’d assumed he was on vacation, he’d told me about it and since I knew the kids were on holiday I just figured he was in California,’ you clarified even quicker, but he didn’t look convinced as he flipped to the next page.

‘Uh huh, according to Rita it says here that you asked for him specifically while in a panic, and when she informed you of his move you began banging on the door and asking about their children, you sound pretty invested for just a weekend friend,’ he pointed out as he turned on his heel to face everyone, and when you looked at Lester he looked just as surprised to hear this news as you were to hear about him watching you. 

‘It’d been two weeks and something felt wrong, I needed to make sure everything was okay,’ you told him, your eyes no longer finding the wall as he spun to face you, his low ponytail creating a flash of gold across his crisp black blazer. ‘And she hadn’t told me about the move until after she assaulted me via a slap to the face, as well as insinuated that I’d come there to steal him away. I would never, that had never been my intention.’

‘At first.’ Matt skipped almost giddily over to you before handing the Judge a bunch of papers and slamming one on the stand in front of you, and you frowned in confusion as you saw yourself in the photo; it was the night you’d met up with him again, the two of you hugging in his car, and you desperately tried to find the words as the Judge frowned disapprovingly. ‘You met up with him again at Walkers a week later, where you proceeded to not only pay for his groceries according to my sources, but also invite him back to your home to stay while he searched for a new residence, instead of his current hotel room, where does all that fit in with your intentions?’

He was positively smug as the Judge motioned for Gwen to approach as well, everyone else whispering to each other until Annie started to stir and forced them to be silent. ‘Did you know about this?’ she asked while Lester sat there uneasily, and Gwen reluctantly nodded while Matt failed to suppress another chuckle.

‘If they may explain, it was a rooming of convince, nothing more,’ Gwen said on your behalf, and the Judge looked to you before letting her go again so you could finish. 

‘I was simply extending some kindness to someone who’d gotten me out of the house more times than anything else in those couple months; I saw a friend in need, so I offered him my couch until he could find his own place, I’d figured it would’ve been too hard to place a downpayment on anything when all of his funds were tied up into that room,  that’s all.’ You were starting to speak firmly, and he knew he was getting to you as he scrunched up his face in humorous disbelief.

‘Did you, though? Because from what I heard, he was actually sleeping in your bed the entire two weeks he was with you,’ he told everyone, and the only reason you didn’t get angry was because you were starting to get very confused.

‘Where did you hear that?’ you demanded to know, but he wasn't done talking.

‘Along with that, apparently you were also there when he signed the deed to his house, as well as went shopping for a new bed, where the two of you not only came but also left together to head to said house as soon as it was in working order,’ he listed loudly just so no one would miss it, a photo to prove each point landing in front of you as cruel reminders, and you made a grab for the notebook on pure instinct as he laughed and jumped back, holding it out of your reach.

‘Would you two please control yourselves? Is everything he said true? Remember that you’re under oath,’ the Judge asked you very seriously, and you looked around in a growing panic before your eyes landed on Harley; all at once you recognized him, he’d been one of the workers who’d helped you load up his car that day, your focus purely on the frame to the point where he’d been practically invisible to you at the time.

‘Yeah, yeah it’s true,’ you admitted, and Rita looked furious in her belief that she was being proven right. ‘He slept in my bed because the couch hurt his back too much, so I took it instead in the meantime, and we went shopping together because he’s incredibly indecisive and needed a second opinion. I helped him with his house because it was disgustingly dirty from being empty for so long, and it would’ve taken him ages to clean it up alone despite the size. 

‘Every single thing you’ve said has just reaffirmed that I’ve been helping my friend where everyone else had left him high and dry, there’s absolutely nothing you can take away from that and the fact that I have never once made any sort of move on him, not in my own home and certainly not in either of his. Lester is my friend, I’m here today to support him while he tries to get his kids back in his life, and I don’t see how any of this is going to reach that if we keep messing around on this false accusation!’ You quickly lowered your voice when Annie stirred again, a few hushes and leg bounces lulling her back to sleep as she held her grandmother tight, but Matt didn’t look dissuaded by your speech, in fact, he looked like he’d finally gotten you as he held up the final photo but didn’t show you.

‘Could you please read out your last conversation with Mr. Billings to the court, please?’ he asked calmly, and your anger turned to panic as Gwen silently asked what he meant to Lester out of the corner of your eye.

‘What?’

‘Could you please read-’

‘I know what you said, but why?’ you asked uneasily, and he sighed before turning to the Judge. 

‘Please follow the request,’ she ordered, and you sucked in an unsteady breath as you unlocked your phone and went to his chat.

‘You know he brought me screenshots, don’t make me use them instead,’ Matt muttered under his breath, and you didn’t even have to ask to know that it was because you’d left you car unlocked, giving your tail the perfect opportunity to take pictures of your messages after seeing Lester send them only for you to arrive shortly after the night before.

‘I can’t,’ you told him as you stared at the words, it would all be taken the wrong way, and he took your phone from you without a fight before handing it to the Judge.

‘“I miss you,”’ she read aloud, and Gwen put her head in her hand as Lester stood, the Judge reading the rest while Rita’s side of the room started whispering again. ‘“I can’t sleep, can you come over?” These speak for themselves, what do you have to say about them?’ 

You couldn’t get a single word out as your phone was handed back to you, but you needed to try before everything you’d just said was thrown out the window. ‘He was stressed, he couldn’t sleep, nothing happened,’ you explained weakly, Matt already on top of it as he held his page a little tighter.

‘The second the door opened you were in his arms,’ he let everyone know, and you shook your head when that wasn't the photo he wanted to share.

‘We’d had a fight before he left, a misunderstanding, he just missed me,’ you tried to say, and that’s when he struck, the image of the two of you lying in bed together fully selling the lie. ‘These were taken without our consent,’ you mumbled, but it was too late, Harley had been there, he’d seen everything from the start, this was just the icing on the cake of the lie to everyone.

‘Caught in bed, that doesn’t look very platonic to me, see he’s even got his arm around your waist for real this time.’ Matt was on Cloud 9 as he spoke, the Judge agreeing and completely convinced that there was something going on after all.

‘He couldn’t sleep,’ you repeated softly, and as if to add insult to injury, he finally brought out the phone from the envelope over from the table.

‘Last chance to tell the truth,’ he offered, and something in you snapped as your entire body went stiff.

‘Oh fuck off Matt,’ you snarled, a slap to the desk your warning since the gavel was too loud, and he gave you another fake sigh before pulling up the phone’s gallery. He turned up the volume and turned the screen to the Judge, and it was dark and a little shaky but the sound still filled the large and empty room with ease.

‘I love you.’

Lester’s voice from last night bounced off every corner until it was impossible to ignore, and Matt played the clip again just to be sure.

‘I love you.’

‘So much for platonic,’ he figured as he played it again for good measure, and the Judge took the phone to make sure that yes, that was the two of you in the video as well as his voice through the speaker behind the cicadas and crickets that conveniently blocked out the next part where he called you his friend. ‘And are those tears when you roll over at the end? Guess the guilt of destroying a family can do that to you, yikes… Your Honour, if you could now swipe to the right you’ll find them the next morning as well,’ he told her, and you just barely saw footage of you two hugging in the doorway, the camera perfectly catching his kiss to your forehead before you wrapped your arms around him; it cut off just in time to make your hug look like a real kiss despite your face never leaving his chest in reality, and your frustration and helplessness at what you’d done to him bubbled up and overflowed until you felt a hot streak fall down your cheek.

‘I knew it, how dare you stand up there and lie to everyone, you ruined my marriage!’ Rita yelled as you gripped the wood until your hands hurt, her outburst finally enough to wake up Annie as she started crying along with you. She was inconsolable, her grandparents unable to calm her as Rita rubbed her eyes, her own anger at this whole situation going in circles until she was ultimately proven right also overflowing as she banged her hand off the table. ‘Can you please just take her outside, mom?’

‘Please, let me,’ Lester suddenly said, his first words in what felt like ages, and he didn’t wait for permission as he crossed over to the other side of the courtroom to reach for his baby girl. ‘Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here,’ he whispered softly as he took her from her grandmother’s arms, and she blinked through her tears as she reached up to touch his face, ‘it’s just me, it’s your daddy, it’s me.’ Her crying calmed as she recognized him in her childish sorrow, her small voice confirming that it was indeed her father before she curled against him and held on tight.

The room went silent as he kept hushing her, his arm bouncing slightly until her crying ceased completely, and when she started to fall back asleep again he couldn’t stop his own tears from falling as he kissed her head and breathed in deep. ‘Alright, she’s going home, just gi-’

‘Let me hold her, please,’ he begged immediately, cutting Rita off and holding his daughter away when she reached out to take her. ‘It’s been two months, just please let me hold my daughter for a little while longer…’ Rita backed down, Matt scoffing at the wasted time as Lester gave Annie another kiss, and even though it physically pained him to let go he eventually did; her grandmother took her back before they both left, Lester not fully breaking until the doors had closed and there was no risk of waking her, an awkward but also sad air filling the room as his friends finally saw what they’d done to him.

‘Can we get back to this, if you don’t mind?’ Matt asked from the floor, but Lester was done, he’d just had to give away his little girl after watching his only friend be torn apart in front of him, and he was done.

‘No, because I do mind,’ he told him as he turned, his cheeks wet but his eyes deathly serious as he approached the stand. ‘I’m sick of everyone trying to tell me what I did, what happened when I was there, and I won’t let this go any further. I asked them to come over, and we did lay in bed together, but only because I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that I can’t do this alone, not because I cheated on you, Rita. No matter how you interpreted my actions, I know what my intentions were, and they were never to be disloyal to you. 

‘I’ve loved you ever since we were teenagers, and I was ready to spend the rest of my life with you, but I can see now that we married too soon, and that no matter how much I love you and my children, it will never be enough to fix what you’ve broken. I know I scared you, I was afraid myself, that night, and I don’t care if you can never forgive me for it, but don’t punish me for something I didn’t do by convincing yourself that I’m a monster.’ He stopped to take a breath, everyone silent as Matt leaned against his table and waited impatiently for this to end, and you couldn’t stay there any longer until he turned to speak to you and instantly froze you. ‘You’ve been nothing but good to me since we met, and I’m so sorry I dragged you into all of this.’

‘I’m the one who ruined your marriage,’ you murmured miserably, and he shook his head before turning back to Rita.

‘No, you ruined our marriage the moment you stopped trusting me and broke our vows,’ he told her, and for the first time she looked almost regretful of her actions. ‘You can have the divorce, spending these past two months without you has taught me that maybe this has been a long time coming, and I didn’t lie, I never cheated on you and never intended to, but… these two months have also told me that I don’t have to walk out of here with nothing even if they rule in your favour.’ He glanced back to you for just a moment, and you swore he might actually be in love before he focused on the Judge. ‘I know all of what you just heard and saw was taken horribly out of context, and… and maybe my intentions have changed over time, but I’m not a liar, and I would never harm my children, you have to believe that, Your Honour.’

‘Oh, I believe it,’ she agreed after watching him calm his crying baby with ease before baring his soul to everyone. ‘We might’ve gotten off track there for a while, I apologize for letting that go on for as long as I did, but it’s very clear to me that despite the multiple errors in judgment on pretty much everyone in this room’s part, it wouldn’t be a fair ruling to let you walk out of here without custody.’ She smacked the gavel now that Annie was away, and Lester’s legs nearly failed him as he smiled in pure relief. ‘Temporary full custody will remain with Ms. Rothschild while you finish your new residence, and when the house is furnished and ready to house the children, we’ll meet up again to go over things and discuss how often they’ll stay with the both of you.’

‘Thank you, thank you so much,’ Lester sobbed joyfully before he crashed into the partition gate, and you and Gwen rushed to him to help him remain standing long enough to get to a seat. Matt swore to himself as Rita kept her distance, their friends deciding to make amends as they walked over to him and apologized, they’d spread the word that Rita had been wrong, and he couldn’t seem to stop crying as he smiled until his cheeks surely hurt just as much as yours did.

Another month went by as summer finally gave way to fall, and Halloween decorations started to fill the streets as you drove through the neighbourhood. Four pumpkins were strapped into your seats and made the car smell nice as you drove, the familiar way to Lester’s home engraved in your mind until you were pulling into the driveway behind him. You left the car unlocked as you ran up to the door to knock, and it was clear he’d seen you through the kitchen window as the door swung open to reveal him standing there in the most dad-themed apron you’d ever seen; it was of another man with a very chiseled stomach, something of which you assumed he didn’t have based on the few glimpses you’d gotten when he’d stayed with you, and you raised an eyebrow at him as he went in for a hug.

‘It’s incentive to keep to my new diet, since you helped the last one fail so many times,’ he joked before pulling you to his chest, and you kept it to yourself that you didn’t mind how he looked as you hugged him back.

‘You’re a grown man, you could’ve always said no,’ you reminded him as you headed back for the car, Lester following after setting down the dish towel he was still holding. You grabbed a pumpkin each and brought them to the dining room, or the small section of room he considered a dining room since technically his kitchen and living room were openly connected. 

‘Shaun’s gunna love this one, I can already tell- where’s the fifth?’ he asked when you shut the door, and you looked around for it too in confusion.

‘Fifth?’

‘You’re spending Halloween with us, right? You’re not gunna make me hand out candy with just Annie, are you?’ he asked disappointedly, and you fought the oncoming blush as you looked at the four pumpkins on the table, the last one being baby-sized just for Annie to scribble on instead of carve. ‘There’s a new Stephen King movie coming out that Deni was really excited to share with us, please tell me you aren’t gunna skip out on that one?’

‘I just assumed you’d wanna spend time with your family, since Rita did agree to the whole week just for this,’ you muttered nervously, and the hand he placed on your arm was warm and comforting as he gave you another almost loving look.

‘I think we can consider you a part of the family, especially after everything you did for us,’ he told you honestly, but you still weren’t entirely convinced you could join this part of his life now that you knew you might have a chance at a more permanent friendship with him. ‘Here, I ordered a bunch of food for tonight from that pizza place we used to visit a bunch while I was staying with you, if you go grab it I’ll pay for your pumpkin if you can find one in the next… 27 minutes,’ he offered, and you realized his hand was still on you as it then moved to your hand to hold your palm up to accept his wallet.

‘It takes 13 to get to the pumpkin patch,’ you told him, and he just shrugged before letting you go.

‘Better hurry then, don’t wanna be left out when we’re all sitting here carving pumpkins and eating pizza,’ he tempted you, and when you looked down at the table and imagined it you realized you wanted nothing more than to be a part of that. ‘And, since Rita doesn’t get here til 7, I think it might be nice to just spend some time alone with you, just the two of us, like before… I don’t get to see you as often now that your Thursdays are all booked up,’ he admitted shyly, and your heart pounded when he rubbed at his neck and you finally noticed that he’d taken his wedding ring off now that the divorce was officially and mutually underway.

‘You could come with me, we could maybe check out the Halloween displays at Walkers for a little extra decoration ideas, your house is honestly lacking compared to your neighbours,’ you suggested calmly, and his smile was back to normal as he stripped off his apron and tossed it over the arm of your second couch that so perfectly fit against the living room wall across from his TV, the photo of his kids so far the only other decoration on the stand.

‘I think I could go for some Caramel Pecan cheesecake, if I’m honest, you made me like it a bit more than the Chocolate Fudge Supreme,’ he whispered scandalously as you both headed out the door, and this time you did lean into him a little when his hand found the small of your back on the way to the car.

[kwonkioz]

. . . brave and nerd | jeon wonwoo x reader (jo shin-yeol) x kim mingyu

part one

𐙚 I thanked my mom for putting the mixed toast in front of me, she smiled at me and then proceeded to put the dishes in the machine.

After taking a bite, I looked at her, "Mom, do you know anything about that Park twins' family?"

His brows furrowed, "I wouldn't say they're very nice people. I know their mother from the association, she is a woman with her nose in the air. Why did you ask?"

"The twins finished second and third. I found it strange when a friend of mine worked hard but came in fourth. It's not normal for them to get such high marks when even I was surprised that I got the first place."

"Mrs. Park must have paid a bribe, she doesn't want her children to be."

"Our school is not a place to accept bribes, Mom, that's why I couldn't be sure."

He turned to me, "Shin-yeol, there's nothing money can't buy. How do you think the twins ended up in your class?"

My eyebrows flew up in surprise, "Really?! O... I guessed it. People blame me, but almost everyone is torpedoed except us!"

"Is anyone still treating you the same?"

I shook my head, "They don't say it publicly anymore."

Except for one person...

He's doing it on purpose to break my heart.

After my toast was finished, I grabbed my bag and left the house. I arrived at the school in a short time by bicycle. Some people said I was a sucker for cycling to school even though we had a driver, and some of them would never shut up. But I was living my way. Yes, there are times when I use my mother's respect, but I do it without putting it in anyone's eye.

Here, everyone sees it as it suits them. I'm used to it.

After entering the classroom and taking my seat, I sighed deeply and watched the surroundings. Everyone had a group of friends or a friend. And the queue next to everyone else was full. The part of me was empty, funny...

A girl named Cho Miyeon used to sit next to me, but when she became close friends with another girl, she started to sit next to her, and this row was empty like this. Strangely enough, I didn't really have any friends. I don't have the number of anyone in this class in my phone book, except for Wonwoo. I had already bought it secretly.

Speaking of Wonwoo; He was back in the front row, quietly taking a test. It was the biggest void in my life. I don't know how my only goal was to win her love when she was so far away from me.

But every second I couldn't talk to him, something was building up inside me. If we get close one day, I want to chat for hours.

As the classroom slowly filled in, the twins arrived. I've looked at them with all my hatred, they're really annoying. They were among those who once treated me like a torpedo, and now they are doing the same thing themselves.

A little later, the teacher arrived and the lesson began. Mr. Kim had taken me to the blackboard to read aloud the quiz notes from a few days earlier. Since this quiz would only replace the oral grade, it would not be written on the list, the teacher would explain it himself or have one of the students read it.

I began to read the notes in order; "Kwon Soonyoung 90, Jeon Jungkook 95, Kim Namjoon 100, Hwang Ye-ji 70, Yoon Jeonghan 85, Xu Minghao 100, Jeon Wonwoo 100, Park Dae Gang 45, Park Dae Gun 50..."

Suddenly, the voice in the classroom went up. Some students began to react to the last two notes, and rightly so.

"How the hell do they come second or third in the exam and get so low in the quiz? It's all out there."

Dae Gun turned to the boy who said this and said, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm saying you're torpedoed, brother, it's pretty obvious. How did you get from middle place to third place with zero effort? Are you a genius?"

"Look at me!" when he stood up, Dae Gang sat him down, "Let him go."

A girl in the back row said, "What's happening is happening to us because of people like you! You're a coward... Do it with your own success. You are incapable."

Dae Gang said, "Isn't it impotent to take your pain out on others because you don't get a high grade?"

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"I'm saying you're torpedoed, brother, it's pretty obvious. How did you get from middle place to third place with zero effort? Are you a genius?"

"Look at me!" when he stood up, Dae Gang sat him down, "Let him go."

A girl in the back row said, "What's happening is happening to us because of people like you! You're a coward... Do it with your own success. You are incapable."

Dae Gang said, "Isn't it impotent to take your pain out on others because you don't get a high grade?"

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"Never mind, Minnie, these things are unspeakable."

"Excuse me?"

As the argument spread throughout the class, the teacher yelled and silenced them. He told me to keep going.

"Park Jihyo 95, Wen Junhui 80, Roseanne Park 100, Jo Shin-yeol 100-"

"Like your first place, I hope this isn't a torpedo." I knew he was telling me when the fool interrupted me and looked at him angrily.

"No, it's my own success, as is my first place."

Some laughed, while others did not react. Another boy grinned nervously, "Sure! It's always been your own success."

Another girl asked, "You must have a connection with twins, not triplets?"

As half the class laughed, my body stiffened with nervousness, and I began to squeeze the paper between my hands. The teacher slammed his hand the table.

"Come to your senses! What kind of speech do you speak? There's no tampering with these notes, it's what you get. Know your words!"

"But sir, they're not just doing the same thing for this quiz, they're always doing the same thing."

"Yes, sir! Our families want us to get high grades, but we work and we get them, they are deserving."

I shouted angrily, "I didn't deserve it! Find another cover for your jealousy!"

One of them laughed, "What am I jealous of you? Your money?"

"Exactly, talk, talk, we're listening." after hearing another sarcastic sentence, I realized that I couldn't take it anymore.

"Off... You're really annoyed! It's so annoying, it's so repulsive!" I didn't care about the teacher who called out after me as I threw the paper on the floor and hurried out of the classroom. I barely threw myself into the fire escapes, waited until I got there, and as soon as I sat down on the step, I started crying.

Even if I cover my face with my hand so that I don't have a voice, I don't think it works. So much so that someone had already come to this sound.

"Well... Can I help?"

When I looked up, I saw a boy I didn't know. Who do I know in this school, though?

I quickly wiped away my tears as I don't like to cry in front of anyone as this boy with a cast on his hand looked at me anxiously.

"You can't be."

I thought he would leave, but he came and sat next to me. I looked at him in amazement, still worried and compassionate.

"I don't think I can turn around and leave after seeing you like this. Could you at least tell me what it is?"

My gaze went away. It hurt a lot.

"They say I'm torpedoed, so they think I'm first. They're all disgusting scum."

"Oh, you must be Jo Shin-yeol."

When he held out his hand, I turned to him, "I'm Kim Mingyu."

These were things so foreign to me that I couldn't even reach out and shake the child's hand. He had already withdrawn, "Well, you don't seem to like handshakes. I saw his name on the list, I know it from there. I finished fifth, but I'm laughing."

"Why? Is it so good to be fifth?"

"Are you a maniac, of course it's very good! Well, at least for me. You don't know how hard I tried to even get from ninth to fourth. It's against my constitution to work so hard."

I couldn't help but laugh and he laughed too. After wiping my moist cheeks, I corrected my posture.

"Thank you, I never thought I'd be able to laugh in this situation."

"You can laugh in any situation. Even rose; That's the best answer you can give them."

I sighed deeply. I don't want to be the interlocutor enough to respond to them, but they push the boundaries so much that I'm the one who ends up answering and coming out harmful.

I looked at my watch, and there were twenty minutes left in class. I stood up. I couldn't go to class now. I decided to go to the canteen to get a coffee and recuperate. When Mingyu stood up, I turned to him.

"Don't you have a lesson?"

"The class is the body, and I'm on leave," he said as he showed his plastered hand. I shook my head, "Get well soon."

"Thank you. Where do you plan to go?"

"Canteen. I'll go into the classroom for a second class, and it would be weird to go back now after I've left."

He laughed, "It is. Can I accompany you? My friends play football, I'm the only one left."

"It happens."

We had coffee together in the canteen and talked a little. I found out that he was in the 2/3 class. For now, he aimed to move to 2/2, he is normally a diligent student, but this year his grades dropped because the classes were a little empty. Now he was trying to regain his old order.

When the bell rang, we continued the conversation during the break and then said goodbye. I was back in class when he went out into the garden. I was doing my best to ignore them while the people in the class were looking at me in a type-by-type manner. Wonwoo didn't take his eyes off me until he got to my turn. When I sat down, he turned to me.

"Are you okay?"

"Does he care too much? You don't think differently from them."

He turned in front of him without an answer. Sighing, I leaned back and crossed my arms.

The gaze on me ended when the teacher arrived. Luckily, Mr. Kim didn't say anything about me throwing the notepaper and leaving. Of course, what I did wasn't right, so he told me that I had to wait in class after class. Well, I'm not surprised.

Since our next class was chemistry, we had to go to the lab. When everyone left, I waited in line. Mr. Kim left his glasses on the table and approached and sat on Wonwoo's empty bench in front of me.

"I know your mother didn't ask the principal for any torpedoes about your grades. He makes those donations of his own free will."

Such was the teacher Kim Junmyeon; He wouldn't judge you, he would trust you and support you. But no one knew its value.

"Still, that stigma sticks on him. Do you know why?"

"They're jealous of my grades."

"No," he laughed and added, "I mean, not really. Shin-yeol, it's your behavior that's the problem."

"My behavior?"

"You may not be torpedoed, but that doesn't mean you don't use your mother's power. You can leave the classroom according to your mind, you don't go to classes if you don't want to, you don't pay attention to the tone of your voice when you speak, so you often get into arguments. Just when you're walking, you have the vibe of owning the school. Yes, your grades are so good thanks to your own achievement, your own intelligence. But your behavior... You've got to get yourself in order about it."

Mr. Kim always spoke to me honestly, but the first time he smacked me in the face, I didn't want to admit it. I shook my head.

"How can I act like a model student when they are insulting me? That's what I do."

"You can't just say that's the production and get away with it, Shin-yeol, it's true for everyone! Look, I know you're not a bad person, that's why I'm having this conversation with you. If your actions were as appropriate as your grades, no one would treat you as a torpedo."

I leaned back, exhaling a troubled exhale. A few weeks ago, I was reminded of a sentence that Wonwoo said; "You can be a smart girl, but it doesn't matter because of your ego. Your arrogance has blocked your way!"

Mr. Kim was speaking for my sake. But Wonwoo's was pure hate. My interest in him made me do such ridiculous things that instead of getting to know each other, we were drifting further and further away. Because he's kind of disgusted with me.

"You live this life like a princess; But remember, princesses happen in fairy tales. We are struggling for life in the most painful way in the middle of reality."

I frowned, "I wish you were a philosophy teacher."

He laughed, "But think about what I said. You can get out."

I got up from my bench and made my way to the door. When I left the classroom, I took my cardigan from the hanger and threw it over my shoulder. When I entered the lab, not all of the students were inside because the class bell had not yet rung. So I moved on to the first vacant place I found. And I certainly didn't know Wonwoo was sitting in front of me. Of course, he didn't think so, so as soon as he saw me in the classroom, he rolled his eyes and came and started packing his things.

I pressed my hand on the pen holder he was about to pick up, "You probably wouldn't die if you sat across from me, you're already in front of me in class."

He tugged at his pencil holder hard, "Couldn't you find another place in the big class?"

I defended myself by saying, "I sat in the first place, I didn't know you were here," but he never believed it. He rolled his eyes and sat down on the stool and stopped to pack his things, "I'm sure it is."

Jeon Wonwoo is the embodiment of the word stubbornness!

Before the teacher rang the bell, the class was slowly filling up. I could feel Wonwoo's gaze on me as I took out my chemistry notebook and placed it in front of me. Already soon he began to speak.

"What did Mr. Kim say?" he averted his eyes when I looked up at him, "So if it's not special..."

I smiled slightly at her sweet shyness, and said, "He said I should be careful with my behavior." His brows furrowed as his eyes found me again, "Your behavior?"

"Hm. That I live like a princess, but that's wrong."

He laughed sarcastically, "She's not a princess; child."

This time it was my turn to frown, "Boy?"

"You don't act like a princess, you act like a spoiled child. How are you different from the little children who cry when their candy is taken from them, and who break all hell when they don't get what they want?"

No, I wasn't offended, offended, or angry.

Because he said these things willingly, even to hurt me, and he tried to distance me from him in this way. He's got a plan, he's going after it, but I'm not going to come to his game.

"Do you know what's the difference?" he shook his head with a frustrated look;

"Once children experience things that hurt, they always run away from it. I couldn't leave you."

I saw him swallow. His jaw dropped, but he couldn't give an answer. While we were just staring at each other, we both turned in front of us when the teacher arrived. I've never had any luck since Wonwoo saw me as a kid and himself as candy.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

For two days, Wonwoo had continued to run away from me, and the more he did, the more I chased him. Some things never change.

There was a basketball game today, and Wonwoo looked so cute with a bandana on his head that I couldn't take my gaze off him. While the other girls were screaming Soonyoung, Mingyu, or Seungcheol's name, my only focus was on Wonwoo. I don't care about anyone else.

The gym was filled with enthusiastic cheering, and by the time the first half was over, it had become a little quieter. When I looked at Wonwoo sitting on one of the chairs at the side of the field, I noticed that he was out of breath, but there was no water there. I made my way to the unopened packages, tore the nylon, and grabbed two bottles and went over to him. I sat down and handed one to him and placed the other next to him. He was really tired, he put the water on his head.

"Basketball doesn't work for cows."

Even though he didn't like being called a nerd, he didn't bother about it and grumbled about the coach, "I told the coach not to add me to the team so I can't do it! Who's listening?"

"Why do you say that, you got the first number."

"It is, but I don't have time for that kind of thing. I have to study for the second exams."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes, "You're really a nerd." she stared at me, "You're the one who likes a nerd, but?"

I pressed my lips together and smiled, and leaned slightly over him with the support of my hand, "I see you're getting used to it?"

She blinked in panic, she was incredibly cute!

"What's the point? Or stay away! You're getting on my nerves."

I pulled back, chuckling and laughing. By the start of the second half, he had clenched his neck and ran towards the field. It didn't matter if they won or didn't win because it was a friendly match for the upper classes. They were just playing for fun. With the comfort of this, I only watched Wonwoo.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

The other team won the match, but as I said, it was a friendly match, winning was not anyone's priority. As I drove to the car alone after school, I caught up with Wonwoo, who was a few steps ahead of me.

"I can let go."

"I'm not crazy enough to get into the car of someone who doesn't have a license, so keep it."

"I drove the car for only one day, today the driver is taking it. And even though I don't have a driver's license, I drive it just fine."

"Whatever."

He wasn't about to stop, and when I grabbed him by the shoulder and stopped him, he let out a weary breath.

"Rest in peace, Shin-yeol."

"You too."

"I'm already-" he knew what I meant and paused, and I laughed lightly. But he still looked bored, and my brows furrowed when he continued, "I don't have the peace you're looking for, get it."

"How do you know? You didn't even make an effort to get to know me. You always make firm decisions without trying."

"Because I don't have time for that! I'm the nerd who can't think of anything but my grades, and you'd better find yourself a bum like yourself."

A bum like yourself...

He had gone again. The sweet bickering between us was gradually turning into painful arguments.

When I got home, my mom came home early from work, so we went to the kitchen to have a snack together. Although everyone treated us as if we were incapable people, my mother was a decent woman who knew the law very well. My interest in Wonwoo manifested itself for the first time and made me too crazy to study thinking about him, and I dropped to fifth place in the class. But even then, my mother didn't raise her voice to me one bit, believing that I would be able to succeed in the next exam. He even consoled himself by saying that fifth place wasn't bad.

People talk about a woman like that, and that's what I'm most mad about. Then why is Jo Shin-yeol acting like a bum, and they infuriate you!

"How was school today?"

"It sucks," I said quickly. I wouldn't hide anything from him. Well, except for Wonwoo, but he could already guess it, "Being in the same class as the people who treated me like a torpedo again two days ago will continue to ruin my every day."

"Let them go, girl! They say that a person knows his own business. They use the power of money for small things, so they think you do too. You are building your own successful future. Don't even hear them talking."

I was stuck on one sentence.

"Do you know who uses torpedoes?"

"So... I've witnessed it a few times at a parents' meeting, but I don't have any clear information."

I put my hands on the table and came to the front, "Mom, please tell me! Who are they? Look, everyone blames me."

He sighed as he placed the plate full of biscuits in front of me, brought a cup of coffee each, and sat down on the chair across from me.

"Park Yul Yeon, the mother of twins, is a bit of a perfectionist. He's so used to having the best of everything that he can't stomach his kids getting low grades, and he's ashamed. So he may have had some conversations with your assistant manager."

"Mom, don't talk about it! And what does it mean to be an assistant director? I think he met with the principal."

My mother shook her head, "Principal Rhee is a fair educator who does not accept bribes. He is a close friend of your grandfather, I know from there. But he's Vice Principal Woon, he's really to be feared."

"Well, he couldn't have done such a thing without Principal Rhee knowing. Besides, if you know that, why didn't you tell the principal at all?"

"I don't have any evidence. Not only me, but also many other parents are aware of the situation and they remain silent with the mindset that the mother will get bread for us."

I clenched my hands into fists in anger, "What happens happens to me happens as long as they stay silent. To this day, I have always received those grades on my own, but I am being treated like a torpedo because you donated to the school."

"It doesn't make any sense, what kind of mindset do your friends have? I donate not only to your school, but also to many other schools and institutions. It's a common thing for your father and me, but people are so used to thinking badly!"

"Their hearts are ugly, their way of thinking is ugly, their character is ugly... I don't know what to do anymore."

He smiled and took my hand.

"You have your family behind you, you don't have to be bullied by anyone. Don't worry, I'll figure it out."

"How?"

"You leave it to me, come on, your coffee has gone cold."

I was trying to understand what was going through my mother's mind as I drank my warm coffee, but it was impossible. He thought so fast and made sound decisions that it was impossible to keep up with him. Still, I was sure that he would do something to get me out of this trouble. At least, I hope so.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

[freakingoutthesquares]

Poptastic Words: Alexis, Portraits: Pulp Interviewed back-stage at the Highbury Garage, 15 May 1993 Catharsis Fanzine, Issue 4 Transcription: Acrylic Afternoons

"I'm Candida. Hello. I play keyboards." "I'm Jarvis. I'm the singer." "I'm Steve. I play bass." "I'm Russell. I play guitar and violin." "Therefore Nick's the drummer." sums up Candida.

And there you have Pulp - the world's greatest pop band. A band who have "been in Smash Hits" and have even had the honour of having one of that magazine's "Single of the Fortnight". Not that Jarvis can see the band ever being as big as, say, Take That or East 17.

"I can't see too many posters going up."

Pulp were formed by Jarvis whilst at school and the current line up has been together for about five years. But why did they all want to be in a band in the first place?

"I think we wanted to frustrate ourselves," says Candida.

"We're complete sado-masochists," backs up Nick.

Is it what you all always wanted to do?

"Yeah," confirms Jarvis. "I, kind of, wanted to do it at school. I used to imagine, when I was in the school's dinner queue, that I wouldn't have to queue up if I was famous. It's not particularly true. That's what I thought it would be like but it's not."

So, after deciding he wanted to be a pop star, Jarvis went to film school. Why?

"That was after we'd been doing the band for a while but I was disillusioned. We'd been messed around by loads of record companies and the final straw was when the bass player became a born again Christian and left the band. It all seemed a big mess. We didn't actually split the band up but I thought I ought to do something else cos it's all I'd been doing since I left school and I thought my brain was drying up. I thought I ought to do something else to keep it alive a bit."

Now it's 1993 and it's going to be a good year for Pulp. Their records are being picked up on - their last single 'Razzmatazz' got Single of the Week in Melody Maker - and it is rumoured that they have signed to Island Records.

"We're with them spiritually..."

"I don't think we've signed or anything," says Jarvis over Nick.

"...we're, kind of, engaged. It's been a long engagement."

"But long engagements are the best," stresses Russell.

Why do you think it's taken so long for Pulp to be appreciated (Pulp has been around in various forms for about fifteen years)?

Steve: "It's our turn."

Jarvis: "We've been waiting in queue for a long time."

Steve: "It's like when you go to the Post Office and you want a stamp but you'll wait for everyone else to go."

Jarvis: "We're very polite y'see so we didn't push in."

Nick: "We wouldn't have that."

Jarvis: "So we waited our turn."

Did it get depressing in the meantime? "No," continues Jarvis. "There's always other things to do. If you choose to sit at home thinking, "Why aren't I famous?", then you would be quite a sad character. You can always ride your bike or something."

Did you think you'd be doing it this long when you first started?

"No. I would've been horrified. I always thought pop music was supposed to be quite instant. You didn't hang around for a decade. To be doing it for so long is very strange."

How did Pulp sound when you started?

"Awful."

"It was all feedback," explains Steve.

"Yeah," recalls Jarvis. "It was a noise. Not on purpose, or anything. It was just ineptitude. I started when I was young and we just couldn't play. We still can't play very well but I don't think that matters."

What does matter then?

"It's not what you can play, it's what you can say."

And what are Pulp saying?

"That's put you on the spot," cries Nick gleefully.

"Well, it's not that we've got something to say as in there's a big message for the world. U2 are trying to shake off that image now but before they were always doing the chest beating and coming up with their big slogans. It's not like that. Hopefully it's an accurate reflection of our lives."

In that case Pulp must lead very strange lives. The opening lines of 'Razzmatazz' were, "The trouble with your brother/he's always sleeping with your mother/and I know that your sister's missed her time again this month".

"I don't think they're seedy," states Jarvis. "They're just true to life. I think they're deadpan and down to earth. I don't think they're strange. Razzmatazz is a bit sad. Babies (the single before Razzmatazz... sample lyric: I wanna take you home/I wanna give you children) is just a thing you get up to when you are fourteen and certain things are still still taboo and you get into situations because of curiosity."

What does your mother think about your lyrics?

"I don't think she's bothered. She's not made any detrimental comments. She thinks the songs should be happier. I'd rather her take no notice actually because once I went round there at Christmas and she insisted on playing the record all the time when my relatives were there. It was embarrassing. Everyone comes up and pats you which isn't very good. Also, if you're on TV or radio at your mothers then it's very embarrassing."

"Shouldn't have your hair like that."

"Smile a bit more."

"Why don't you play some happy ones."

To get to know Pulp a little better we decided to ask each member of the band to describe the others. We allotted them one word per person. Below are the results.

Nick: Candida... petite. For Jarvis I'd say dishevelled. Steve is organised and Russ is er... too tough sometimes.

Candida: Nick's loud. Jarvis is temperamental. Steve is organised and Russell is good at business.

Jarvis: For Nick I would say... high. Candida is fluorescent. Steve is clean. Russell... I'd say feedback.

Steve: Nick is too loud. Candida is calm. Jarvis is unique and that's not a compliment. Ha Ha Ha. Russell is manic.

Russell: Nick is Jean Paul. Candida is toys. For Jarvis I'd say praying mantis and Steve I would say is a cigar.

During this game several compliments and disparaging remarks were handed out and taken with apparent ease and false stroppiness in turn. Pulp complimenting each other makes them happy, but what is the nicest thing an outsider could say about them?

"I don't know. I get embarrassed if people are nice to me," says Jarvis whilst Russell lines up the butts of his cigarettes in size order. "l find it hard to accept people being nice. I always think they' re after something."

"You're paranoid," offers Steve as an explanation. "l don't know why it is. It's like when you eat out at a restaurant, not that I do very often, but when I do I don't like the waiters always coming over and supposedly being nice. (Adopts slimey voice.) "Is everything O.K. for you sir?". I find that makes my flesh crawl. I'd rather they just give it to you and then let you eat and talk to whoever you're with."

"The nicest thing someone could do to you is put a plate of food down and walk away?" asks Russell incredulously.

"I don't mean just slap it down. Put it down, then go away. I don't want them hanging around with the violin in your ear. The niceness is a bit like that."

Do you also hate it when people are horrible to you Jarvis?

"Oh yeah. I like general blandness. Ha Ha Ha. If somebody comes up to you and says "You're great", it's nice but it's also..."

"...a conversation killer," finishes Russell.

"It's a northern thing as well," observes Steve. "In Sheffield no one Would ever go up and say, "I think you're great"."

"That's why," confirms Russell, "it's uncool. It's us that's wrong but..."

"The best compliment we get is if someone says we're alright. It's good to know that other people like you but you'd rather hear it second hand," explains Jarvis.

"The first time someone said it to us we thought we'd misheard them," says Nick.

"Do you know who we are?" adds Russell.

"Yeah," continues Nick. "l thought they'd got the wrong band."

You said earlier that you don't like people being mean to you - does criticism upset you?

"Well" says Jarvis with a pained expression, "if somebody writes something like, "He's a tall, lanky streak of piss with no discernible talent. How has he managed to delude himself for so many years?" you can't just go, "Oh, yeah. Fair enough, everybody's entitled to their own opinion"."

"Truth hurts. Ha Ha Ha." comments Steve.

"It's too bad they were right," agrees Russell rubbing more salt into Jarvis's wounds. "We do like people to like us. We're not just doing this for ourselves. We want people to like it."

"But we don't pander," warns Jarvis.

What do you think about the "Crimplene scene" which is the current press play thing? Does it bother you that you've been lumped into that?

"We started it," boasts Steve jokingly.

"I don't think it exists. It's not healthy," complains Jarvis. "No. Crimplene makes you sweat. We'd rather be the British cotton scene."

"It's true," supports Nick. "Avoid Crimplene at all costs."

"I like seventies bands like Denim. Is that the Crimplene scene?" asks Russell.

From what I've read, it's you, Suede, Saint Etienne etc.

"We used to get compared to Marc Almond and World Of Twist so..."

"If I was going to chose a scene to be associated with," remarks Steve, "it would be that one but it's not like we meet at Oxfam on a Saturday afternoon and fight over classic Crimplene. None of us like it."

"I still don't think it exists," says Jarvis persistently.

If there is a scene then Pulp are the leaders of the pack. They might not be the biggest, but they are the best. In terms of sex, glamour and everything that counts they are the only band you need to know. They leave the rest of their ilk in a trail of dust. The songs are gorgeous uplifting affairs with secret tales of suburban life as lyrics. It is pure genius.

"A lot of sexual perverts like us," offers Russell helpfully. "They write us strange letters. Post grunge and post shoe gazing there is a new sort of person on the streets and they like us. People in stripey tops quite like us."

"French people like us," announces Candida.

Do any of you ever get recognised in the streets?

"Yeah," states Jarvis. "I was saying to Russell the other day, that I've always had people taking notice of me in the streets in Sheffield - usually in a bad way. They called me names and things. It does still happen. In fact I nearly had a fight yesterday 'cos this boy decided to push me. But people have started to recognize me and be a bit more friendly now. It's strange 'cos I'm always getting ready to flinch when they come up and then they say something nice and catch me off guard."

What names did they call you?

"Because I've always worn glasses it just used to be someone famous with glasses. Elvis Costello, Buddy Holly. Just anybody who wore glasses. I used to have a beard for a bit and then I was called Rolf Harris all the time. They weren't very imaginative."

Well, those people were obviously mad. Jarvis is, without a doubt, a sex symbol for the nineties along with all the others in the band. At the gig that took place after this interview Jarvis was practically pulled off the stage by adoring females. O.K. - so we know they are attractive, but how sexy out of ten does each member of the band think he/she is?

"We're all going to say ten aren't we?" asks Candida.

"You might, but I wouldn't," retorts Steve.

"I think it changes during the day," decides Nick. "When you get up in the morning you're probably a minus. The later it gets the better it gets. If it's a good day you might peak at two."

"You just about make a two, Steve," jokes Jarvis.

"Anyone who says above seven has problems," says Steve wisely.

"You'd catch them playing with themselves in front of a mirror when you came in here," suggests Jarvis.

"That means you were about a nine in the van today, then, when we set off," says Steve whilst trying to wind up Jarvis.

"Yeah?"

"I didn't think you were a nine, you thought you were."

"Self-masturbation," adds Nick helpfully.

"That's another thing that other people have to decide upon," Jarvis remarks sensibly.

"Obviously it's nice if people do find you that way."

At this point Nick's brother enters the room and Russell starts loudly announcing that "this one goes up to eleven" if you twist the nipple and put a little shilling in the slot. Everyone has hysterics.

But, don't get me wrong, Pulp take what they do incredibly seriously. They are a deadly serious band. I know this because Nick told me four times. They are funny, the music is not. Pulp are also clever, sexy, glamorous, beautiful, talented, strange, normal, erotic, under-famous, unique, sleazy, stylish and every other compliment ever. If you feel the need to check out the high life or if you just need that extra sparkle - look no further than Pulp. They're the most fun you'll ever have.

You can write to Pulp at P.O. Box 87, Sheffield, S6 2YZ and you can become a Pulp person by sending £3 to the same address.

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

i was tagged by @henderdads and i'm so glad i was!!

i couldn't tell you what the 'certain way' is, but i know it when i see it

you can make your tier list here!

tagging: @inikokoru, @spectrum-spectre, @corrodedbisexual, @perseus-notjackson, @eddiesdoeeyes, @stevethehairington and anyone else who'd like to!!

[ericshoney]

The Mafia Boss ~ Chapter two

Present time

Y/n's POV

It was nine in the evening and I was on my way to start my shift at work. I work as a bartender at a club downtown. It was the only job going when I was in a desperate moment. Its not the best pay and I get to see some very interesting sights and hear strange conversations, but it pays the bills for my crappy one bedroom apartment.

After the break up, three years ago, I've not really let anyone into my life. I mean, I find it hard to trust people, especially men. I still feel heartbroken and betrayed by him. I know what your probably thinking, she broke up with him, but he lied. Wouldn't you if the man you loved hid something from you, your whole relationship?

As I arrive at the club, I use the back door to head inside. I sign my name in the book to say I arrived, the place doesn't even have an electronic system to sign in. I head through to the staff room to be greeted with a cloud of smoke. I cough swat it away with my hands as I hear a chuckle.

"Sorry, sunshine." I look over and see my co-worker, Lia.

"You know your not suppose to smoke in here." I tell her. Lia just laughs as she puts the cigarette out.

"Gone. Don't tell the old man, alright?" She replies. I sigh and put my bag in my locker.

"What time you working till?" Lia asks me.

"Three. What about you?" I reply, heading over to get a drink of water.

"Two. I'm not working next week either." She answers.

"Oh, holiday?" I call.

"Yeah, the girls and I are heading to Japan for a week." She said with a nod.

"I hope you have fun." I tell her with a smile. She returns it as our boss comes in.

"Good evening girls. I suggest you go get the bar ready for customers, there is a queue already outside." He tells us. We both nod and head to the bar, getting everything set up.

"He's such a pain in the ass." Lia mumbles.

"Your not wrong." I reply.

"I mean, we've been working here for three years and he acts like we don't have a fucking clue!" She exclaims.

"Calm down, Lia. I get how your feeling, but just brush him off. He doesn't come out of that cramped office so your good here." I reply. She sighs and nods.

Twenty minutes later the club is officially open and both Lia and I are super busy. Girls looking for a good time, guys having guy time at the club. It isn't till an hour later it slows down for us. We stand, cleaning the bar a bit, until another young man comes over.

"What can I get you?" I ask.

"A vodka and coke, along with your number." He said with a smirk.

"Vodka and coke it is." I mumble, doing his drink.

"Don't forget the number, pretty girl." I laugh as I place his drink on the bar counter.

"Try someone else, pal." I reply. He looks at me in shock before going off to his friends.

"He was cute! Why turn him down?" Lia questions.

"Not interested in dating any time soon." I reply bluntly.

"I get you, looking for the right man!" I laugh and shake my head.

"Something like that." I mutter under my breath. I give Lia a smile as we continue working until the early hours of Saturday morning.

[bitchwhoyoukiddin]

Ascendance of a Bookworm: Reread.

A person that I lent the first three books to returned them last week. I figured that it had been a couple years since I read the series (up to the point I paused to wait for the final publication), and maybe it was time for a full re-read. So, here are my thoughts and impressions!

Part 1, Volume 1-3

First thing out the gate, Urano is autistic. Period. That level of hyperfixation combined with actual emotional pain from being held back from said hyperfixation is vanishingly uncommon in people not diagnosed with autism. Yes, there are some conditions with comorbidities, but FUCK. Add in the inability to pick up on or parse social queues unless motivated by a.) danger or b.) hyperfixation?

That said, I kind of love how the arc of the first part (literally part 1, volumes 1-3) is basically getting Urano as Myne to understand how she doesn't actually have the option of Not Dealing With Shit. Urano/Myne (because in p1v1, she still IS Urano - the whole identity thing is a trip in the rest of the series) doesn't have the option to prioritize and run her life in an entitled way in this world. Hell, Urano notes contrasts between her new life and old one constantly for the first volume. And that's part of the arc!

I think something we don't really get enough of later in the series (or that isn't as emphasized, the author just expects us to remember) is how frail Myne's body actually is. Urano makes the point several times that something she wouldn't even think about doing (physically) in her original body is well beyond her reach in Myne. And she also points out that she wasn't really in all that great a physical shape as Urano (disinterested in exercise versus actual chronic illness).

Anywhoozle, I am glad I started this reread because there were definitely bits I missed. The Shumils being intro'd so early, how absolutely spoiled and entitled Urano is when she arrives, then how long it takes for Myne to even get to a place of baseline physical health, and how hard a time Urano/Myne has with accepting how out of left field her new world is in comparison of the old.

I think one of this series' strengths is how much thought is put into the world Myne journeys into. It is vastly different in culture, cultural mores and standards, and fundamental geographic basics than Earth/Japan.

It works really well to have the first three parts building the platform that the main plot explodes off of, and I'm really enjoying the revisit.

That said, there's definitely some Japanese/Western language and concept conflicts that have been tripping me up. Myne's repeated use of "clenches fist for resolve" and how absolutely fucked up she was in her initial wake up/being taken care of physically by her family. Yeah, a bit of that is that she is an adult in a child's body, but her crying for days when someone else physically takes care of her needs? Like. Girl. Come on.

I will also own that I get really frustrated with how one-track mind she's written. It's the correct character choice! Urano/Myne IS that way! It's important to the story and a (frustrating) driving force in the future storytelling. But Christ on a llama, girl, you fucked yourself by losing your goddamn mind about even the hint of a library. You might be in the body of a child, but you are a 23yo woman, get a grip.

I'll also note that I'd forgotten how honestly kind (in retrospect?) Ferdinand is to Myne when they meet. And sure, a good chunk of how he treats her later is strangely predicated on the amount of respect for her capability and potential that he sees in her. He knows she can do shit, but has weird priorities, and doesn't mollycoddle her. Hell, she doesn't deserve it. Because, and I stress this, she is a goddamn adult. An inexperienced, naive, and out-of-her-depth one, but still. Like, the framework of parts 1-3 is basically forcing a coming-of-age montage on Urano/Myne, and having re-read this part, I'm reminded why.

[te-pu-si-ti]

The last show…

September 24, 2023.

I joined some of my best show friends for one last Sunday brunch. I wore my Askalaphos vest, that I had knitted myself, every stitch a tiny act of love for the show.

The queue was beautiful. The atmosphere was just like a party, with everyone sharing the love.

Once we got into the bar, I had a whisper in my ear - Do you care about seeing the museum for one last time? If not, sit on the other side of Peep… where someone from Front of House came to meet us, handed us our commemorative masks (ours to keep), and opened the door directly into Troy.

I had tears prickling my eyes before I even crossed the threshold, and it was beautiful to step right into the city, to take it in with no adjustment period. No crossfade. Hitting me like a truck. I was there. For the last time.

The reset music filled the space around us. The first thing I wanted to do was to say goodbye to some of the spaces that were important to me. While the show was still mostly empty, I went through Tenement Square (straight past Milton's Kronos, always the first character out) and into Room 7, Kampe's room.

I soaked in as many details as I could. I laid on the bed. I ran my finger over the crystal lampshade, appreciating its tinkling sound. I looked at the keys, and the vintage makeup, and the animal masks, and I looked at my own masked face in the mirror.

I crawled into the back room of the hotel, Kampe's other home, and looked up at the ceiling. While I feel at home here, I couldn't say that I know this place intimately. There's all these details, uncountable numbers of them. There's always more to discover. Snippets of poetry pasted to the ceiling - I read them off silently.

How still, How strangely still The water is today, It is not good For water To be so still that way.

I spent some time slowly climbing the graffiti stairs, enjoying this artwork that I too often rushed past. Linear B fragments that would never get translated - the depths of this world are unreachable.

I went into the owl bedroom, I got into the bed and I hugged an owl. I must confess, I pinched something - a tissue out of the tissue-box. I'm sorry, I needed it.

I had told people I wouldn't be following Kampe; I triple-looped Kampe at the Saturday matinee and it was the most beautiful goodbye I could think of for my favourite snake monster. But I finished my set tour and... found myself settling in Klub, waiting for Kampe to appear. When I saw a fellow Fania Kampe fan waiting there too, I smiled and shrugged sheepishly.

But I just stayed for a scene, long enough to hear the pop-rocks fizzing in their mouth, long enough to watch the lights go out. Then I crossed the border, to say goodbye to Mycenae, that vast cold desolate space. The crates, the border station, the hinterlands. I watched Artemis for a while, dancing with the deer skull.

I returned to Troy, I watched Polydorus and Polyxena reunite - a devastatingly beautiful dance I did not often make time to see. But the show took me where I needed to be.

I did not make plans for this show. I tried to tie up all my unfinished business beforehand, and come into this one with no expectations. And so I found myself, at the reset, waiting outside of Peep, begging to be let in. Don't you know, this is where I belong?

It took me a long time to find the beauty of Peep. At the start of the run, I found it exposing and overwhelming compared to the safety of the mask and the gentle drones of Troy. But now, it had become home. A place full of friends and excitement and unabashed queerness.

So I spent my second loop in the bar, and it wasn't a waste at all - far from it. It was exactly where I needed to be.

So there was Dyo, and Nance, and Furnace and Cryo and... Hannah?? Yes, they had brought in a third Fury, and the band sounded awesome.

It was a beautiful, comforting Peep loop, nothing more, nothing less, with good friends, good cast, and an overall sense of gratitude for being there today.

And I failed at the card trick, I tore my bits of parchment up into confetti and threw them in the air - just as Kampe emerged from their dressing room, giving me a glance and a smile and a gentle touch as they passed.

And they made me forget my plans, because I had to choose between the last Tango and the last Fania Kampe YSSMIAC, and while I heard stories about the amazing tango switchover with two Hades and two Persephones, I have absolutely no regrets.

Now with a blood-marked mask, I followed Kampe up to the blinding, and stayed with them there at reset, to see my only cast switch of the day.

Kampe's reset has always been one of my favourites, ever since the first time I saw it - the quiet following the blinding. Everyone else has filtered away to begin their stories again. The use of the round minotaur painting on the floor - walking around it or turning on it like a clock. The sense of Kampe losing themselves, then waking up from a strange dream. Finding themselves with the eyeballs and the blood, uncertain of where they came from, but accepting it and moving on.

Fania Kampe lay on the floor of the Klub, curled up, unconscious.

A white mask in a long black puffer coat jumped over the bar. They walked up, leaned down, examined Kampe. They took off the mask, revealing herself to be Pin Chieh. Pin Chieh Kampe put the mask onto Fania's still-bloodied face, Fania got up and took Pin Chieh's coat. Fania disappeared into the crowd, becoming an observer, and Kampe was now someone else.

After the swap, I did some wandering, catching scenes here and there, always with added poignancy knowing this was the final loop of the show that defined my life for over a year.

I wound up in Peep again, just in time for Lily to come in and sing a final If I Didn't Have Your Love - with added help from the Furies. Persephone 'forgot the words', and had Sam, Hannah, and Laura provide the first 3 lines of the song. And it was so sweet, and I started welling up, and then she asked us all to take out our imaginary trumpets for the instrumental break - like so many times before, Lily had me laughing through my tears.

Upstairs to the Klub to watch Rob Laocoön dance his ritual - he heard the whooping from Peep below and sneered, muttering under his breath. His whirling dance was exquisite.

Then Neo ran in for Law of Life, and I followed him to Mycenae, finishing up with the highlights of the second half of the loop there. Iphi and Pat, crate dance, the stone table and the shower...

I tucked myself into a corner of the balcony, securing a spot for the finale. The finale was familiar to start, but different, a little grander - Hecuba was there, climbing the stairs to meet Clytemnestra. More lost souls were on the girders and the table.

And then there was the applause. The endless applause, the cheering - I screamed and whooped until my vocal cords gave out and all I could produce was a sad yodel.

Hades and Persephone appeared on the stairs to give us a final speech - and to notice that the record has a second side...

I don't know if they were really teasing anything in particular. But it was a glimmer of hope, a statement of intention, something to keep us busy speculating about until the next thing comes along. The fan Facebook group changed its name to include "the B side" that very day.

I just didn't want to go. One More Kiss, Dear, was playing on repeat, and I let most of the crowd go before I started to move. I walked slowly. I left a part of myself behind.

And I almost made a huge mistake, because the outside doors were open, daylight pouring in, and there were signs pointing outside for 'no cloakroom'. I almost left. But I followed the cloakroom crowd, for a few more precious minutes in the building.

It turns out, Peep was open for one final Peep finale. The crowds were thick and I couldn't find the friends I came in with, but my friends were all around. We hugged and cheered and savoured the last gasp of The Burnt City.

Persephone arrived, Lily, and she sang us Life On Mars.

And then we left.

And it was over.

(It wasn't over - it's never really over - We all went to the Dial Arch and shared our stories, and then life went on, and I still run into somebody I know nearly every time I go to the theatre, and I have so many great TBC friends, and I am taking in so much immersive and dance and weird and cool art, and somehow a year has now passed. And I'm so different than I was before I met this show. It has left its mark on me.)

[kirklandsheartsecrets]

HCs for the brothers and dating their people?

uk brothers II headcanons II dating their people

northern Ireland

be ready to watch all of love island episodes im tellin' ya

dating someone from his people means you understand the tv reality context out there

talking shit about the people in it

looking for fun at their instagram and also talking shit about their account

mocking the way they talk or the character the production choose to give them

"do you think he really goes to the gym?"

"his ass does not come from eating out dear"

"why she got them big ass lips for ? For what purpose ?"

"sucking out a dolphin or something idk"

talking about how those kind of tv shows are really bad

still on the couch right on time to watch them

spread out on the couch like the most disgraceful creatures

wales

wants to know what's the best restaurants around

looks for deals and special social media guides

try something new every day

yeah yeah those cool concept restaurants, usually cheap but actually really good

hope your stomach is ready this man eats

gatekeeps the best spots with you and if tourists or too many people find out

which ends up in long queues then its not worth anymore

"overrated"

salty as hell about it, you guys have no chill

"man it was better before"

"the price has gone up huh ? they know they are popular so its not good anymore"

you two are stinky gatekeepers

secret spots secret spots secret spots for the best views

england

southbank book market in london

hmmmm i feel like he would take his s/o there if they are from his country

he is not cliché book worm no

but likes to find cool stuff

thrifting works with him

thrifiting in london is cool UNTIL-

he is like wales, if something becomes too popular and crowded he goes

"overrated"

and since his s/o and him are used to certain spots, if the price goes up just like the amount of people at specific time then no

thrifiting and south bank book market

you guys go at night

permament

+under waterloo bridge, so quick to get here

scotland

if his s/o is from scotland

he has someone to go watch football games then

man goes to every game he can

who's your favorite player?

he probably has all the football merch possible

extras

and by this i mean supporters

if the scottish players are assigned in others clubs in europe

you guys are going to their club games

doesnt matter if this is the Juventus or FC Bayern Munchen

youre going together to watch them

of course shit on the other players or countries about their bad football club choices

you guys are trained to get the best spots to watch the games

not in the world cup ?

haha it doesnt matter books a flight to see England lose and support wales

Ireland

this weirdo wants to see the last ends of every train station in ireland

might take a year but

means a lot of time to talk with his s/o and actually show cool places they might not know of

i am not joking

taking a bus until the last stop to take it again on the other side

lots of naps

lots of discoveries

you can say now "i went through every bus/trains in ireland"

delays and cancels don't scare you anymore

this is strange i know but the hidden gems are worth

only irish people know their way through the transportation in ireland obv

do you talk a bit shit about the some cities ?

hmm yes. who wouldn't ? dublin overrated.

[motherofkittens94]

Ah gee I went to see hozier yesterday and yeah I enjoyed it the music was good but I had such a strange experience right first off this lady pulled me out the queue and put me to the front im used to this part happening and I'm usually kinda glad like yes that’s the one single disability perk right, queue jumping

but also this lady was making me hold her hand which was a bit much like you dont need to do that I can walk but yeah my disability is noticeable i guess and people think theyre doing good but anyway she let me go in ahead and yeah that was great but then I guess she was telling the whole staff about me or something because like literally every other ten minutes some new staff member would corner me ask if I was okay or why I was alone or if was I lost or if I needed help I would say I'm okay not lost im by myself I can manage but then some other person would come later and ask me again if i was okay and if I wanted help and Its like again??

eventually they moved me to the raised platform which is not what i booked ok but fine it is a better view there from thanks but I dont see why people felt the need to be checking me so much i wasnt drunk i wasnt injured i wasn't upset i was not doing anything out of the ordinary nothing that anybody else wasn't also or less even i mean there were very drunk people there and they weren't being asked if they were okay

I mean asking once fine nice even

twice ?understandable but like seven /eight times? Frickin weird leave me alone already I can manage

Like I feel I should be grateful they were helping me and it sort of was and you may think oh but everyone wanted to assist you wouldnt you perfer that? surely worse things could've happened instead you got better treatment thats good right?

Yeah maybe but you know it was going on so often it made me feel self conscious like clearly I was coming off as not normal and /or vulnerable somehow or maybe they didnt believe i was as old as i said i was or idk but i didn't ask for help and didn't really need it either I just wanted to have fun listen to music relax be a regular person like everybody else there

It would've been fine- if i had asked for help - I didn't

Also afterwards they didn't even let me leave until it was nearly empty and then they all waving at me like goodbye sweetie goodbye _like embarrassing how am i ever gonna come back here now after this

and then they made two guys walk with me all down the street because i was going home by myself ive done this same journey a billion times i know what im doing

so anyway thats not even the end of it because next I take the train back and get off my stop someone in the train gets off to ask I'm okay and if I know where to go like yes I'm going home then as I go up the hill this lady is following me annnd then she asks im okay and if i need help as well!

what do you think I'm doing!

like what the hell is wrong with me tonight that nobody thinks I'm okay? I don't know what you think is wrong whats the matter with me huh? I can't work out what I did that made everyone so concerned except just being there

I was by myself fair- i guess if someone was with me all this wouldn't have happened and yeah im a loser and i go to events by myself sometimes so what? its not illegal though is it im twenty eight not bloody five i literally live there I don't need help walking around im not lost I dont need you to pretend to befriend me I did not need help

Maybe i took this all the wrong way because yeah they wanted to help but it felt like every single person was singling me out and letting me know they think I'm strange and that I cant cope

Uncomfortable!

This is what i get for trying to do normal gal activities I guess