#would this particular anon please do me the honor of messaging me privately

[genericpuff]

me getting an ask in my inbox laying out every single brush that rachel uses in her backgrounds including indie brushes that aren't a part of her usual adobe kyle webster kit, only to download and test them and find that they're all 100% correct:

[olderthannetfic]

re not commenting on a fic because it's different, it would never occur to me to do that? is that a thing, deliberately like witholding comments bc it's 'too weird'?

if I want to comment on a thing it's usually bc there is something specific I want to say, like an observation on a particular way something was handled and what it made me think of/why I liked it. i either need to have smg i really want to say and expand on, or to have really enjoyed the fic v much. (but not too much bc then i put too much pressure on myself for writing The Perfect Comment and procrastinate my way out of doing it at all :|)

if i send them message on anon somewhere, which i do much more rarily, it's bc i really loved the fic but i don't any like deep thoughts about it, but i still want to shout a quick thank you, probably more memey and shitposty than i would on ao3

i didn't know people cared about their fucking like, ao3 reader cred????? i have private bookmarks for stuff i enjoyed but wouldn't recommend or call objectively good, not because i'm hiding out of embarrassment, god

it makes me curious about readers behavior bc i realize i know fairly little about it? i always see people encouraging readers to engage more but it's not that often i've encountered discussion on what makes readers actually engage, do you have any thoughts about that?

--

Ah, a time honored topic!

Honestly, there are never enough comments for writers' tastes, and there never will be. Let's be clear on that right up front.

That said... Reserving your squeeing for tumblr asks might please some authors, but overall, I don't see it as a positive thing. A tumblr ask quickly disappears, while comments on AO3 remain visible. An anon comment is also worth much less than a logged in one. Logged in comments are you publicly showing you're willing to support an author.

Most people don't comment because they're busy and comments are hard, but aside from that, the reason a lot of people don't comment is that they don't want to be associated with an author even while enjoying their work. Maybe they're scared of bullies... though this behavior emboldens bullies and leaves authors as the sole targets. Maybe they think the author is a bad person who doesn't deserve support, but then I find it kind of hypocritical that they're wasting time on the author's art. Maybe they're ashamed of their own tastes and too chicken to admit to them in public.

In the current climate, I like seeing actual comments on AO3 because it demonstrates to lurkers that the author has support.

--

As for what does drive reader interactions, I think you tend to see the most enthusiastic commenting on WIPs that update regularly and where there's something meaty to discuss. It's often readers speculating about where the fic is going to go. I too read a lot of fic I think is fine but that doesn't leave me with anything I want to say.

The majority of comments are short little "This was great" type ones, of course, because writing long comments is an art just like writing fic is.

[thefloorisbalaclava]

A while back I started a server rightfully named FranciscHOS 😝. I stopped invites after a while because I didn't want to get too overwhelmed and have things get out of control but now that I have another mod coming in (who is someone that is very well known in the fandom and I'm honored that she would agree) I would like to start sending invites again! Though the server is called FranciscHOS, we talk about all of Pedro's characters and, of course, Pedro himself.

There is an 18+ rule in place and other rules include not bringing issues you have with someone on here into the server, respecting Pedro's private life, and to try keeping the channels assigned to his particular characters about that character. Personal convos are welcome in our general channel and you can talk about anything you like there! There is a NSFW channel but since the server is 18+ anyway, I'm not too much of a stickler on that unless it is a naughty pic--that's just to protect anyone who may be in public and doesn't want boobs or dicks popping up on their screens 🤣🤣

Sorry I'm getting long-winded but if you'd like to join please let me know. Do not send me anon messages because I will not be able to send you the link in private. Also, if your age isn't visible in your profile I will not send an invite!

[immerlein]

Okay, so I have some problems. I don't know how to start, for example I have a lot of faith and hope for my life and my mom is like "Don't be too hopeful, don't have faith that much. They will give you nothing. Look at me, I prayed for 20 years and I got nothing. They don't care about you and you are not one of their favorites, so you will never have anything and first of all you are dumb, you don't have any friends and don't go out, so you'll never have a boyfriend". - part 1

“Why does she have to do that? It seriously affects me. Even if they do not give me what I pray for. It kinda plays with my faith, because then after hearing her words, I kinda lose faith and hope and think They will really not listen to my prayers and help me out. I have told her this before and then she is like “Oh, well don’t listen to me, maybe They will give you everything you want”. Yes, well first you play with someone’s mind and then you are like “oh, don’t listen to me”. - part 2″

Dear Marija (what a lovely name!), I believe you are the anon who asked me about God’s favour recently? 

You have sent me a very large ask but I hope that I can cover everything and offer you some kind of solace. I will address each part separately. When I first read everything you shared (and I hope you are okay with me publishing it, because I do want to answer you!) I could sense your hurt and pain, and your mother’s hurt and pain as well. I do not think it is right of her to discourage you from prayer. It sounds like she has a lot of pain inside her own heart and she may be taking out that hurt, frustration, and anger on you. I know how she is feeling in some ways; recently, with the loss of my first child, I have felt anger and pain and thought, “why, God?”. A friend of mine is looking for a new place to live and she asked me to pray for her, saying, “when you bought your house, it had everything you had been hoping for” and it reminded me that yes, not even a whole year ago, I was so worried about finding a house to live in, and God provided for me. I was so grateful when we moved in, and I thanked God every day, and yet, as soon as misfortune befalls me, I think “God does nothing for me!” and I instantly forget all the many, many blessings I have received. I wonder if this is the same for your mother, when she says “I prayed for 20 years and I got nothing”. “She did the same before. I didn’t really care about having someone, I always thought I will not worry until I am 25, after 25 I will start worrying, but then she started talking a lot about how I will never meet anyone, because I don’t go out, I don’t have friends to introduce me to someone and all that and it kinda got to me, it has affected me. Now I really do care about having someone, I feel super lonely and sad, but now the damage is done, so nothing she says/do can help. - part 3It is really easy to play with someone’s mind/feelings and then be like “Oh, you shouldn’t have listened to me”. Oh and yes, by They I meant God, Mother Mary and The Saints. And another thing, let’s say I had some kind of heartbreak. I mean I wasn’t in a relationship with this particular person, we had something, how to say it was complicated. - part 4And I would go to church to ease my pain, and my mom would be like “Stop praying to God, to give you that man. He will not.” First of all, I wasn’t praying for that man! I am just going in church to ease my pain and to cry and to tell my Father, Mother, Brothers and Sisters my pain. How does she make such assumptions. Like I am not going to tell her everything that lies in my heart, because I am a very private person and keep things to myself. So I don’t even tell my mother some things. - part 5″I am so sorry that she has said these things to you. I would encourage you to continue to turn to God and go to church to ease your pain, as you say. Our Lord tells us that whatever we ask for with faith, we shall receive. Sometimes it does not come in the way we expect it to, but God knows all things, and knows what is truly best for us. “I know she has went through a lot in her life, but can she please let me live and not project her thoughts/views/opinions on me. She has been divorced from my father since I was a baby, and I understand that she wished for someone, or for a job, or to have some decent friends to go out a bit and forget everything and 20 years have passed, she has lost her youth. But it is still not late, I believe that God has something in store for her, so what if she is 40 now, anything is possible. - part 6Yesterday we got in a fight and she said something like in the sense of “I don’t care if you get anything, what is important to me is for me to see some light now and get married and put my life in place” and I said “well if I am supposed to not get anything, then you don’t, you are older and I am still young”. I know what I said was wrong, and I didn’t mean it. But her words hurt me. - part 7″What she is saying to you here (which breaks my heart to read), and with what you have shared about her relationship with your father, does give me the impression that she is wounded in her own soul and that is coming out in the way that she treats you. We are commanded to love our neighbour as own self (and to honour our mother and father) and I know I have struggled with that in regards to my own parents. Sometimes our mothers and fathers abuse us (physically, mentally, emotionally, and/or spiritually). I really do recommend you speak to your spiritual father about this (especially as you are feeling contrition to responding to her that way). 

“Of course I do want to see her happy and find a nice man, who will give her everything my father couldn’t, but you know I have my worries too. I am only 20 and I think will I get married, what kind of man will my husband be, will I have kids, will I have a job. Also I don’t have a lot of family either, just my mom, maternal grandparents and my uncle and like time is passing, what will I do all alone when they are gone. - part 8″

As you say, you are only 20; please believe me when I tell you it is nowhere near too late (if there even is “too late”!) for you to find someone to marry. Truly! Try not to worry about that, and entrust it to God (I know it is easier said than done!). And share your feelings, your concerns, your pain with Him.

“I just hate it, that turned out that I don’t wish my mom well, when I do. I do hope the best for her. I want the best for her and for me too, obviously. I do not want only me to put my life in place and then be like I don’t care about what happens to my mother, but if she gets remarried and is happier than now (which I hope she will be), of course I want to get married too, or have some decent job, or some friends, even one good friend. - part 9″

You seem like you are a compassionate person and I am glad that you wish your mother well. And it is understandable that you also have hopes for your own future, and desire to be married, have a good job, and friends. 

“She twisted my words and made it sound like I am a bad person and do not wish her well and she said that now Our Father will never give me anything I pray for or experience joy, because I have a dark heart. Another issue I have is, she always says how she went to church as a little girl all the time, and during her teenage years she used to go to church all the time. - part 10I used to go to church as a little girl too, but then during my teenage years I didn’t really kinda go nor pray, as much as in recent time. But she makes me feel like I am less of a Christian, or that I am not worthy enough, or that God doesn’t/will not favour me as much as He favors her, because I just started last year to pray more, try to go to church every week at least once. - part 11″

Perhaps my friend (and I do not know your mother, I am making assumptions based on my own experiences and what you have written), your mother feels like her own faith is lacking (as she advises you not to pray, saying there is no point) and is projecting that insecurity onto you. I do not get the impression that you have a “dark heart”; you come across to me as a sensitive person who desires to be close to God and is struggling. God loves you and He sees your efforts, truly. And perhaps you did not go to church much as a teenager; what matters is you are going now. You may have fallen, but you got up again. And you chose for yourself to go to church and to pray.

“And I don’t like it how she makes that sound, because I think God has so much love and place for everyone in His Kingdom and is so merciful, that even if you start believing in Him even when you are 50, He will still love you and accept you with open arms in His Kingdom. I am sorry, this turned out super long, maybe it was going to be better if I messaged you privately. But thoughts just kept popping in my head and I had to tell them here. - part 12″

I think you are right about that :) I am reminded of Saint John Chrysostom’s Paschal Homily:“If any have wrought from the first hour, let him today receive his just reward. If any have come at the third hour, let him with thankfulness keep the feast. If any have arrived at the sixth hour, let him have no misgivings; because he shall in nowise be deprived thereof. If any have delayed until the ninth hour, let him draw near, fearing nothing. If any have tarried even until the eleventh hour, let him, also, be not alarmed at his tardiness; for the Lord, who is jealous of his honor, will accept the last even as the first; he gives rest unto him who comes at the eleventh hour, even as unto him who has wrought from the first hour.”

“I am sorry again for sending you so much asks. Thank you for your time, patience and kindness. You have a beautiful name. My name is Marija too! But with a “j”, because I am Slavic. I hope that the Holy Spirit and Our Most Holy Mother are with you though out everyday of your life and help you in every field, and bring you joy and peace. God bless you. I love you. - part 13″ 

It is no problem at all! Please feel free to message me anytime; I hope what I have written is of some help to you. God bless and keep you. I will remember you in my prayers. With love in Christ,Maria