#would love for qimir to be a canonically Terrible haggler | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

septemberlikeastorm · 4 months ago

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qimir/the stranger writing his will & saying each word aloud like A Teen Girl In A 90's Movie Writing In Her Diary because as we all know that is who he is at his core

qimir: to osha i leave all my worldly belongings, including but not limited to my spaceship, my helmet, the deed to my cave

qimir: the $576,743 debt i still owe on the cave

qimir: & of course my trusty crockpot

plagueis bursting in like the kool-aid man: you said I could have the crockpot, you absolutely fucking slut

#would love for qimir to be a canonically Terrible haggler #the bank foreclosed on the previous owner (a cave bear rip buddy you'll land back on your paws) & was ready to sell it for a buck & a song #& qimir came swaggering in & accidentally drove the price up to $750k #he hasn't got a bank account so every month he comes in with a burlap sack with a dollar sign on it #& dumps out a mound of dimes & pretty seashells he found #& when they say it's not enough he says listen Space Sephora cut back on my hours you gotta cut me some slack this month #the acolyte #qimir #star wars qimir #oshamir

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