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racinggirl · 11 months ago

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Collision of hearts - 01

Lando Norris x OC (Fayenne Jackson)

word count: 2k warnings: none notes: I hope you like the first chapter, please let me know what you think about the piece at the end, I'm planning on incorporating that a lot more! Any way of feedback, whether it's positive, negative, in the comments, in my asks, as a reblog in the tags is very very welcome <3 If you want to be added to the taglist, read the bottom of this post 🧡

masterlist (will be up somewhere this week)

prologue

next part

🏎️ = Lando

⛸️ = Fay(enne)

⛸️

‘’You go first, I don’t want to be the one falling through the ice, that’s cold!’’

I let out a soft chuckle as my friend, Melanie, stood at the edge of the lake, a scarf around her neck, gloves around her fingers as she looked from the ice to me, very quickly. See, I loved to skate, it was something I used to do when I was little, something to escape the world for just a moment. No, I wasn’t a professional skater, I wish I was, though. I started on some home-made skates my father made me for my 6th birthday. I fell, a lot, but that’s part of life. You fall, get up, fall again, and keep trying till you get better and better, and that’s exactly what I did.

I’m 23 now, and my best friend is holding her phone with her right hand, positioning it so she’d capture the perfect content for when I’d fall through the ice.

‘’It’s been freezing for almost a week straight, Mel, the ice is thick enough!’’ A smile appears on my face when I hear the metal of my skates touch the still untouched ice. It was a beautiful sound, soft, but it pierced through my ears like it was the only thing I could hear. A few steps onto the ice, and I slowly turned around, watching how Melanie slowly put away her phone.

‘’Damnit, that would have made some great content to be fair.’’ She looked over at me with a smirk, a playful one, because I knew she didn’t mean that.

Melanie, she has been my best friend ever since kindergarten. We basically grew up together, only under very different circumstances. We finished primary school together, and even secondary school. However, after that, she went into a different direction for her career, one my parents would never allow me to take. She started modelling, and I was lying when I’d say I wasn’t jealous of her. She started of doing a few shoots for some of her boyfriends at the time. I know what you might be thinking, but Mel would never do THOSE kinds of shoots. She wasn’t your everyday influencer Instagram model, not at all, she’s smart, and made sure to have a backup while modelling.

‘’Come on! It’ll be fun, and totally safe.’’ I teased, skating around the lake to make sure every bit of the water at the top was frozen. I felt like a fish in the water, but on the ice, and not a fish, because that would be… You know what I mean. I felt like home on the ice. Like I said before, I’m not a professional skater. I’m actually a lawyer. I ended law school this year, and I couldn’t be happier to have finished it and never look into those books ever again. I’m a terrible lawyer, at least, that’s what I’ve been telling myself.

‘The only way to do great work is to love what you do’

And well, I don’t love it. I hate it, even. I know many people would want to have a law degree, I know many people would want to finally have that paper and help people, help the innocent ones. But that’s the thing, you don’t get to choose who you defend, especially as a beginner. You take every job you can get, and that’s mostly not the one of the victim’s defenders. You’ll have to work with stubborn people, criminals, the so called ‘bad guys’.

‘’Okay, okay, fine, hold my hand.’’ I skate towards my best friend and hold out my hand for her, making sure she would be stable on the ice before we moved on the slippery surface.

‘’You’re doing great, Mel, just remember, lean forward, and focus on where you want to go.’’

Melanie has supported me every step of the way, even when I finished my degree and got a job at the local skate centre instead of being a lawyer, the path my parents set out for me. It was a hard decision, and one that came with consequences, but it was the first time I had actually gone against my parent’s commands. I felt torn, because they were the ones that paid for my university, they were the ones that made all the effort and what did I do? I just chose my own way, my own path, after everything they did for me. I know they want to see me happy, but telling them I wouldn’t be happy pursuing my career as a lawyer was the hardest thing to do, and they didn’t take it well. That’s why I moved out. That’s why I took the job as a skate instructor for the little kids, ages around 7 to 9, at the local skate centre.

‘’I have a better idea, why don’t we grab a hot chocolate and have dinner at my place tonight? I heard there’s this new club opening, and guess who got tickets for the grand opening?’’ She tugged my hands slightly, mostly to keep herself balanced on the ice, but also because of the excitement.

That’s the thing of having a well-known friend, she always knew where to go and where to be, receiving invitations for one of the biggest club openings, and me always being her plus one.

‘’One more round on the ice, and we have a deal.’’

‘’Okay,’’ Melanie groaned, holding my hand tightly. ‘’Fine, but just one!’’

🏎️

‘’What’s up chat! I’m back! I know, three times in a row, pretty mint huh?’’ I positioned myself in the chair, the headphones on my head, a snack on the side, next to my bottle of water. I scan through the chat, trying my best to read some of the comments, ignoring most of them.

The season ended, not the best way possible, but it could have been worse. The upgrades we brought the second half of the season made a big improvement to the car, and I’m quite glad about that. We’re going into the direction I wanted, which is up, and times like these are the moments I’m grateful for the patience I’ve had with McLaren.

‘’It’s gonna be a shorter stream though, chat, cuz I have somewhere to be after this.’’ I take a bite from the biscuits I held on the desk, immediately taking a sip of water after it.

‘Do you have a date?’

‘Where are you going after this?’

‘What are you eating?’

I quickly scan through the reactions, not really answering any of them. I loved to stream. I wasn’t able to do it a lot because of the busy season we had. Because of the busy schedule I had, but right now it was a little more toned down, meaning I had found a few free hours I could sit and talk to the camera on Twitch.

‘’Thanks for all the gifted subs, everyone! Holy shit, I can’t even keep up with them.’’ I laughed, trying my best to thank every single person that popped up on my screen. I never could get used to the amount of support I was getting from the fans. People chanting my name, the thousands of bracelets people would make for me, taking the time and effort to create something for me, it was surreal.

As the chat buzzed with questions and comments, I couldn’t help but smile at the energy radiating through the screen. The support from my fans was overwhelming in the best possible way. I glanced at the clock, realising time was ticking away faster than I anticipated.

‘’Alright, let’s jump into a quick Q&A, chat!’’ I announced, grabbing a handful of questions popping up in the chat. ‘’First up, where am I headed after this? Well, I’ve got a charity event lined up. Gotta give back when I can, right?’’

The chat exploded with emojis and words of encouragement. I chuckled at the flood of enthusiasm, feeling grateful for the platform that allowed me to connect with such an incredible community.

‘’Next question,’’ I continued, scrolling through the comments. ‘’What am I eating? Just some biscuits, nothing fancy.’’ I reach for the packaging of the biscuits, showing them to the camera. ‘’Not sponsored!’’ I joked afterwards.

Time flew by faster than expected, and as the charity event drew nearer, I reluctantly announced the stream’s conclusion. The chat flooded with messages expressing gratitude and excitement for the next stream.

‘’Thanks everyone, it’s been fun! You’re the best, love ya. I’ll catch you in the next one.’’ I said, creating a heart with my hands before I ended the stream.

I quickly gathered my things, leaving the streaming setup behind as I rushed to the charity event.

⛸️

It’s been a while since I went out to a club, especially one where a basic pair of jeans and a nice top weren’t ‘good enough’. The club we were headed to wasn’t your ordinary ‘I’m bored with my friends so let’s go out’ kind of club, not even close. It was a higher-end, new, influencer filled kind of club, one where normal people like me wouldn’t usually get access to. At least, if you didn’t have a model as a friend.

Melanie had been modeling ever since we finished secondary school, she got scouted by many modeling agencies across Europe, but she always chose the one near London, near me. She was like an older sister to me and when times were rough, she’d be there and vice versa.

‘’You know? I’m quite jealous of you, actually.’’ Melanie got me confused by that comment, she, jealous of me, what for?

‘’Oh?’’ I furrowed my eyebrows slightly but remained focused on applying my mascara.

‘’Your natural beauty, your eyebrows, your lashes, and oh my god your lips.’’ She said, sipping her wine as she applied some nude lip-gloss on her plump lips. I knew where she was going with it all. I never had surgery, not once in my life. I never wanted to, because maybe I was a little proud of my so called ‘natural beauty’. I barely wore make up, and whenever I did, it was a simple clear brow gel and a lip balm. My lashes were dark, black, long and they had volume without me having to do anything about it aside from curling them. My eyebrows weren’t black, but a nice dark colour of brown that matched my hair. My lips, never done anything about them, no fillers, nothing. I’m not saying anything is wrong with having fillers, I think it’s beautiful on Melanie, really natural as well, it just wasn’t something I’d see myself doing.

‘’Your lips are so.. urgh, plump, I wish I had that.’’ She says as she finished her make up and moved on to pick out an outfit from her never-ending closet. ‘’What do you think, this Versace dress? Oh, or this Elisa one?’’ She says, holding out two black sparkly dresses.

‘’Left,’’ I start the beginning of my next sentence. ‘’You have gorgeous lips.’’ I say, full honesty. ‘’Yeah, but they’re fake.’’ Melanie says and simply grabs the Elisa dress and starts putting it on, making sure every one of her curves and pros of her body were nicely hugged with the expensive fabric.

‘’Mel…’’ I sighed, closing the tube of mascara, and placing it back in her vanity as I almost always used her make up. ‘’I know, I’m just kidding, I’m just saying, maybe you should start to model too, it’s gonna give me competition, but if it’s you, I can handle it.’’ She teases with a smirk, making me roll my eyes.

‘’Come on, Fay, let’s go.’’

...

taglist

@smoooothoperator @itsjustkhaos @tpwk-cherie @skynel09 @peqch-pie @aphroditeisamilf

a/n: if you want to be added to the taglist, comment ❤️ down below

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xiaq · 2 years ago

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(this can be answered publicly) Hey X, pardon me if you’ve answered this before, but I was just curious on how you ended up transitioning from academia to tech and what role you started with in tech? Also, so you have any advice for someone looking to break into tech from a non-STEM background? Thank you!

Hey! I haven't answered it publicly but it's a popular question, so I will now (warning, long answer is long).

So I was so fed up with academia for sundry reasons I won't get into here but I wanted a career that would allow me to A. retire some day (something that paid generally well), B. would allow me some measure of work/life balance without high stress, and C. Would ideally let me use my communication/writing/speaking/presenting skills in some way.

My parents and my partner all work in tech and were like, "did you know that we desperately need people with your skillsets in the tech world?" and my partner, who works in technical sales was like, "You would kill at my job, I am not lying." And I was like, every job listing in technical sales that I see requires either a degree I don't have or past experience I don't have, or both, and my mother was like "Do you know how many mediocre resumes from unqualified men come across my desk? Apply for the damn positions anyway." So I reworked my resume to focus on applicable skills/experiences and wrote a cover letter for each position I applied to saying "hey, I know I'm an odd candidate but let me tell you why that's a good thing." And I got a lot of positive responses!

I was interviewing at 2 different tech places when I accepted the offer for my job now. I had an initial screening call interview with HR, then a zoom interview with the hiring manager, and then I was given access to a limited demo environment and had a week to teach myself the software and put together a demo for a fake customer which I did for the hiring manager (my future boss), one of my current peers, and the VP of the org. I was offered the job the same night I did my fake demo. So in total it was a 2 week interview process, and I started working 2 weeks later. **

I'm a pre-sales solutions consultant, which basically means I'm paired with a sales guy who does all the money and business value talk with customers, while I get to learn about a customer's data problems and then demo for them how our products can address those problems.

The learning curve was (and still is) steep. But it was basically like going back to school, and I've always loved learning new things. The job is super fun. It fulfills all of my wants I listed above with the added bonus of being completely remote (aside from occasional travel to meet with customers for in-person demos). The people I work with are supportive, management is communicative and constantly giving me feedback/talking about my trajectory. I've won internal awards, already received two raises and one promotion and I haven't even been there a year. I'm making more than double what I did as a professor and the concept of retirement doesn't feel like a laughable pipe dream anymore. I miss teaching a lot, but I'm healthier, happier, and better prepared for the future now. And my work is genuinely fulfiling because I'm showing people how they can fix problems. Also, playing with data management software and putting together custom demos is neat. It's like all the best parts of a college project--research, making a preso, knocking everyone's socks off while giving the preso, but I'm getting paid for it. I'm glad I followed my mom's advice.

So I guess my advice is the same as hers: even if you're not "qualified," apply for the position anyway. Make custom cover letters for each position and if there's not a way to include the letter with the app, do some googling and find the hiring manager on LinkedIn and message/email them. The person who hired me said that my cover letter was what got me the initial interview. So that shit works. If you have friends or family working somewhere with open positions, use those connections. Having an internal referral will go a long way to getting your resume looked at. I know we're all like, boo nepo babies, but networking is a huge part of any industry. Use it to your advantage if you have the advantage (no, I'm not working for my parent's companies, but if there'd been an open position I was interested in, I would have applied for it. No shame).

**I also, on the side, applied for the Austin Fire Department because why not. After a whole lot of mental and physical prep, I was accepted to the academy (in the first class, no less, holla) right before I was offered my current job. But I had to be realistic and say that probably wasn't a good long-term career option for someone who is 110lbs and was barely meeting the physical testing requirements who also has issues with getting overwhelmed in high-input sensory situations. So. Into the tech world I went. This side note just to say, I was keeping my options very open and there's nothing wrong with that either, lol.

I hope this helps!

#answered asks #tech world things #academia #tech #career things #x abandons her dream career so that she might retain a modicum of sanity #i don't remember using that tag but I love that it was suggested to me #because yes exactly #mylife

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mythicalcrumb · 1 year ago

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i really think everyone would benefit from aromantism (?) getting more representation and being more normalised. because we really put romantic relationships at the center of our lives and end up beating ourselves up when we can't achieve them.

if the lack of romantic attraction, whether it's permanent (being aro) or just not being in the right mood for it, was seen as something completely normal, and not a failure, people would be so much happier.

the energy and time we waste hoping and looking for a relationship, sometimes in people who are definitely not the good ones, could be spent on quality time with ourselves, with friends, with family.

and when someone is unable to build romantic relationships, unable to develop romantic feelings for other people, everyone always talks of trauma. (the pathologisation of every behaviours that are different from the common majority is also a big problem).

what if we stopped thinking of romantic relationships as the ultimate achievement of life (cus when people think of a successful life, it goes like this : getting a degree, having a successful career, getting married)? and we stopped hurting ourselves and others trying to force romantic relationships when it's just not meant to happen? and we stopped being miserable because at this time of our life, romance is just not what we need or what we can do?

#very unconstructed rant because i keep seeing people upset that they cant form romantic relationships with others #also me inventing words. i think.#this is also @ me bc christmas is coming and im yearning for a romantic partner #but yeah fuck romance honestly #lgbt #aromantic #arospec

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mackenyu-archives · 2 years ago

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GQ Japan Interview: Mackenyu Arata x HUBLOT

(05/12/2022)

“Right now I am having the most fun and at my happiest. I’m living my dream,” Mackenyu Arata, a man who continues to challenge himself.

"If the world around you doesn't change, then it's better to change yourself," actor Mackenyu Arata who left Japan with that mindset, resonates with HUBLOT, a brand that continues to challenge. What kind of scenery does the 26-year-old who had challenged the world see now?

“I’m the kind of person who doesn’t mind eating curry every day,” Mackenyu said of himself. He doesn't have a lot of material desires, and says that as long as he likes something, that's enough. The watch he has been using for the past two years is the Hublot Classic Fusion Black Magic.

"It's the first watch that I thought was cool and I wanted it. It's not really flashy or big, it's elegant but it has a presence. My father was always wearing a watch, so growing up, I thought it was natural to wear a wristwatch. I always wear it when I'm not working as my 'buddy' I spend my precious time with."

In 2020 Mackenyu decided to be active overseas. He had been challenging the world a year later.

"The impact of the coronavirus was a big factor in giving me time to think for myself. Since my teenage years my work schedule has always been packed, so I didn't really have time to reflect on myself. I would be filming a movie in the morning, and a drama series in the afternoon. At the same time I would also attend interviews for publicity. I was living a life where I could only sleep on the move. During the pandemic, I spent time with my family and friends, and also with myself. As I engage in my hobbies, I realized that I enjoy this kind of time, and I think its important to have them. Up until that point I've always had this anxiety, that if I'm not constantly working, I would disappear. But really there's no need to feel that way. That time made me think that I want to enjoy myself more, both at work and in life. I reflected on this and it had influenced me in the way I work and how I make decisions. I've realized that I should be doing what I want to do and just do what I want to do."

Born and raised in the US, he has the "weapon" of English. Temporarily stopping his activities in Japan to challenge himself overseas, what awaits him were the Hollywood's adaptation of Saint Seiya "Knights of the Zodiac" and the Netflix series "One Piece" (both scheduled to be released in 2023).

"I wonder if I was scared when I accepted the role back then... I don't remember (laughs). Anyway, working abroad was fun. The scale of the work is different from Japan. A huge number of people risk their lives to make a series with a budget that is 100 times bigger than that in Japan, and the degree of their commitment is just incredible. I'm already happy just being there among those people. Moreover, the working environment is set in order, the cast and staff have time to rest properly. So when work begins, everyone is in good spirit and they work wholeheartedly. To be honest, this is completely different than in Japan. In Japan, even when I take care of my health properly, it wasn't easy to get rid of my fatigues from work. But I'm really healthy now though (laughs). I realized that there's a world where I can be an actor under those circumstances."

In Knights of the Zodiac, he was chosen as the lead. His overseas career took off with a smooth start.

"It feels like I'm living my dream. Right now I am having the most fun and at my happiest. I had the opportunity to check the finished movie footage. I was taken aback. When a team of first class professionals work together, we can achieve this quality. I couldn't be any happier to be the lead in this movie. I can't wait to see the final movie, and I'd like everyone to watch it too. I'd like people to feel inspired when they see me in that movie. That I represent Japan, and challenge the world as a Japanese actor. I don't plan to convey big messages like encouraging people to revitalize Japan or anything, but if we could break out of our shells and jump out of it, there's this incredible world that awaits you. To instill that kind of mindset alone already makes me happy."

Source: https://www.gqjapan.jp/feature/20221205/hublot-mackenyu-arata

#interviews #mackenyu arata #mackenyu #knights of the zodiac #one piece live action #OPLA #KOTZ LA #saint seiya #roronoa zoro #pegasus seiya

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autisticsuperpower · 4 months ago

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Part III: The Living ❤️

So here I am putting that updated portrait back together.

And this time, I am reconciling with my past.

A lot of it was not my fault.

I was young, naive, and hurting.

I did not know my own strength to make it out alive.

Outer and inner.

The first piece to put the portrait back together is to live Authentically Autistic.

Take the mask off, throw it away from the face of the earth.

Moving to Los Angeles was significant. The breath of a fresh start and second chance awaited my arrival.

In a dream I had, the first happy emotions emerges from the hole in my heart. Joy. Excitement. Love. Acceptance

Then emerged new friends I hadn’t met yet. Some of whom I still care for and they return the same for me.

Best of all, a woman who would one day hopefully love me, not just for the outside looks and desire, but the inner gifts I can bring to a relationship.

I dreamt of happiness, and I fought for it.

I thought I was done fighting for happiness when I graduated high school. I made it out alive.

But as I learned these last few months, the fight’s never over.

Sure, I’m in a much better position now.

Sure, my career life, my romantic life, and my professional life is blossoming, like an endless amount of poppies sprouting in the mountains.

And I’m so thankful for that.

But my personal life is still not 100% back to where it once was yet.

However, it is a work in progress. As I always say, I am under construction.

When I moved to LA, I went to college and earned not one, but two degrees.

Performed my butt off on stage and also had a really active social life.

More social in 4 years than in my entire life, and most importantly, was accepted for being Autistic and different.

But that was only step 1 of finding my happiness again.

Step 2 was finding work and navigating life post school.

Finding my way upon the yellow brick road and being pulled down different paths.

Teaching young kids to find their passions, then working with adults to find their happiness in work, and now, helping neurodiverse adults land their dream careers.

Step 3 was launching this blog.

Beginning to untie my complicated past and pushing it out for the world to read and hear.

Knot after knot after knot, freeing me from years of self-doubt, hurt, sorrow, and isolation.

Talking about topics that I’ve never talked about and yet now mean value more than ever.

And now with Step 4, it’s simple.

Letting life do the driving.

Putting it into 4 wheel drive.

Starting a podcast and inviting others to share their Autistic journeys.

Becoming a supporting cast member on a 3 time Emmy winning Netflix show, which by the way, we have 4 nominations this year.

Rediscovering my passion for performing by joining a neurodiverse performing arts group in Hollywood.

Getting my first place together with the woman I love.

Seeing a therapist every week.

And working on myself to get better and back to the happier self people know me in real life.

I’m continuing to take each day at a time.

Some days are good.

Some days are the opposite.

And some, well, you know it’s in the middle.

But that’s life, and it’s beautiful.

My grandfather once said that life is not always straight. It has it’s zig-zags and its collision courses, but somehow, life always works itself out and keeps pressing on.

That truly is accurate.

I’m ready to heal again.

I’m ready to continue to fight for my deserved happiness again.

And as I finish putting that updated portrait back together, I find the last piece.

The piece that symbolizes the strength and the readiness to wake up and see another day.

The portrait is now back together, and it is Authentically Autistic this time.

It’s good enough for me. 💚

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theidiotabides · 2 years ago

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All of these speculations are Correct and Good, especially the bit about Marco and Jake ruining the Ninth House (Gideon would help). I think if we're assigning the kids to houses as individuals rather than as necro/cavalier duos, I'd sort it like this:

Ax: Second - honestly the Andalites just are Second House (or at least the military is, and that's most of what we see) and Ax is such a dyed-in-the-wool Andalite at the beginning of the series. What little we see of the civilian side reads Seventh to me, though, so like, I kind of think Elfangor might be Seventh? Gafinilan definitely is Seventh. Mertil is Fourth.

Cassie: I lean Sixth because she's a scientist and her approach to people is very Palamedes (insightful & manipulative, but ultimately with good intentions). The whole temporally grounded thing feels very Sixth to me, too. Like, yeah, that is the house where people Would Not Be Fooled by your mucking about with the space/time continuum and creating pocket universes; they've taken the readings, they are positive what they remember, and you are full of shit, thanks.

Jake: Fourth, because he didn't make the Second (I know that's not how the houses work but c'mon, left to his own devices Jake would absolutely want to be an officer and end up infantry instead, until Marco intervened). Okay that's mostly a joke; I think at his core, Jake makes the most sense in Fifth. He's a homebody. He's got a comfortable inheritance. He spends an entire book reading a Civil War journal. Big Magnus energy -- he hangs around court being unobjectionable and mentoring the kids. Plus he's haunted af.

Marco: Third, and you are correct on all counts about what he would do there. Marco would be best frenemies with Ianthe, co-presidents of the party planning committee with Corona, and Babs' least favorite human in the entire goddamn universe (as well as an occasional hook up). The degree to which Babs would hate Marco and be unable to do anything about it (except sometimes hook up) brings me joy.

Rachel: Fourth. Jeannemarie has a crush on her. I don't think I need to elaborate on this. (Sidenote: She'd also love the Third, but her survival there would depend on whether or not Coronabeth was enough older than her to have her smothered in her sleep as a child when it became clear she was competition for the "hottest sword-weilding blonde in the Nine Houses" title. If Coronabeth was not old enough, they would become frenemies instead. Also Rachel would bully Ianthe.)

Tobias: Fifth, I think. Like I totally see the Sixth angle (huge fucking nerd) and I can also see a Seventh angle (big artsy stoner vibes), but so much of his character is about lineage and reckoning with the past. He would have like seven different ghost pen pals. Also I just want Tobias to have a cozy home environment for once in his life, come on people.

If I'm splitting them out by duos, here's where I put them:

Cassie/Rachel: Sixth. Cassie for the reasons outlined above; Rachel because she's a ringer for the Alexandrites: tough, smart, and gorgeous. Rachel and Camilla would be very good friends, bordering on mutual crushes, but they would never acknowledge this out loud, not even to themselves. Palamedes takes to calling Rachel "the blonde one" just to watch Camilla pretend she doesn't know who he means.

Tobias/Ax: Agreed they'd be Sixth because nerd squad, but I could also see an argument for Fifth. Tobias has the aforementioned reasons above, and I could see Ax's predilection for human anthropology translating into an academic career. Also Fifth house has the pastries and you know how Ax feels about pastries.

Marco/Jake: I love your Seventh interpretation, but I actually think as a duo they make the most sense in Fifth? Jake for the reasons outlined above, and Marco because Fifth is where all the political power and wealth is. His personality is a much more natural fit for Third, but he would be a lot happier and healthier if he were surrounded by smart yet kind people like Abigail (who would absolutely adopt him in a heartbeat).

For the record, Eighth House would not survive hosting Marco & Jake. They would have set it on fire by the time they were 10. Can you imagine a throwdown between Silas and Marco? God they would hate each other (while Colum & Jake sat in the corner having a thumb war).

Also these speculations have lead me to consider the possibility of a Third House Marco/Rachel necro/cav pairing and honestly, they would achieve perfect lyctorhood & attack & dethrone Jod before they turned 20. And then they would be exactly as terrible at being an immortal emperor as he is.

...so is there overlap between Animorphs and Locked Tomb fandoms? Or am I the overlap?

'cuz I woke up this morning thinking:

Marco (necro)/Jake (cav) Cassie (necro)/Rachel (cav) Tobias (necro)/Ax (cav)

I'd split it like this because canonically in TLT cav/necro pairs aren't supposed to have romantic relationships (even though of the ones we see, one is explicitly romantic, two have romantic feelings going at least one direction, and I have my suspicions about Cam/Pal but they are canon cousins so like, fine, I'll let it slide but I'm watching you). But if you split the kids by canon couples, that makes:

Cassie (necro)/Jake (cav) Tobias (necro)/Rachel (cav)

Then the spares Marco (necro)/Ax (cav), which also absolutely works.

What I'm saying is the Animorphs' dynamics map perfectly onto TLT's cav/necro roles, no matter how you slice them.

#animorphs #for the record Marco would hate Palamedes and Palamedes would not really notice #I also think Gideon and Jake would be excellent friends to each other #Harrow would hate all of the animorphs on principle but she'd begrudgingly befriend Tobias after a while

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dreamteamspace · 2 years ago

Note

I believe people are in their rights to be kinda upset to a certain degree but a lot of people in this fandom just takes things toooo personal like they put themselves in the narrative and feel personally attacked when is nowhere near. And I always say “believe the victim” but also hold your reserves you know? Like you don’t know them either as you don’t know cc. So yeah I believe this fandom is too parasocial and they need to go out to the world and live which I know right know they are just starting bc of the pandemic so they kinda have an excuse but please people this is not “your” lifeeee. He doesn’t know you as neither does she. Support who you want but don’t let that affect your personal health and life please

If this is about me being upset at the situation (and many others being upset), I will say I am currently studying for a career I've wanted for a long time and have made tons of contacts there, I have 2-3 completely seperate friend groups I belong to that know nothing of this fandom whatsoever. I interact with people over discord vc or in real life daily that do not know anything of this fandom. I don't think it's as easy as "just don't let it affect you" and I certainly don't think the solution is that people just need to go outside.

If you watch a favorite show you really like and the creators do something that rubs you the wrong way, that is going to affect you, and the characters aren't even real people.

I think different people are affected by different things and are allowed to do so. They are sentient humans just as much as you that understand things such as mental toll and exhaustion and emotional investment and are perfectly capable of making their own decisions in their lives.

The way the "he doesn't know you" stands as an argument already shows that the concept of "just dont let it affect your life and go outside" really talks down on people. You assume they themselves don't have an understanding of what getting emotinally involved could potentially do to them and don't have the ability to view things outside their perspective whatsoever, and that you must remind them like a child that is playing dress up that the toys are not, in fact, real. It's condescending, and I hope I've made it clear why.

Sometimes, certain things bring people a lot of joy. Like a LOT of it. This is heightened with mental illness, troubles with family and friends and in general, and even more so with neurodivergencies that tend to hyperfocus on specific topics. The happier something makes you, the more it can hurt you. So you either do not allow anything to make you THAT happy and always curb it before it goes up (good luck on that it sucks), or you only let things make you happy that are "safe" and thus "untouchable" that would somehow never be able to hurt you (basically impossible, we can't see the future).

It's easy to say "he doesn't know you". Yeah, no shit. And? They were happy, and now all that is potentially crashing down. You don't know the people that are upset, either, whom you're very confidantly telling to go outside and switch off their emotions.

I absolutely don't mean to come off agressive, but I hope I explained why this line of thinking is really off putting to a lot of people and I absolutely do not agree with it.

#discourse #negativity #dreamteamspace speaks #ask #anonymous ask #sorry i had to get this one off my chest #bc im rather tired of the 'just dont let it affect your life' argument #especially as someone with special interests

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laurenairay · 4 years ago

Text

Prove You Wrong - J. Skinner

Summary: Audrey James, the girl with the loving heart, and Jeff Skinner, the boy with the brilliant smile, had been best friends for most of their lives – will their friendship ever develop into anything more?

Word Count: 9.1k

Warnings: pining, childhood friends to lovers, a little angst, a lot of cute fluff

A/N: I’ve wanted to write for Jeff for a while because I love this smiley pretty boy - and now that I’ve reached a new follower milestone (600!!) I thought I’d finally crack this out! I hope you all like it 💖

Tagging some lovely people who make hockeyblr a better place for me: @itsbadgerbadgermushroom @danglesnipecelly @texanstarslove @princessphilly @broadstbroskis @denis-scorianov @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @kallmekmk @thebookofmags

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” – Emily Brontë

Audrey James had known Jeff Skinner for as long as she could remember. Having grown up together in Markham, Ontario, Jeff the second youngest of six siblings and Audrey the youngest of four siblings, they’d bonded so quickly – and so strongly. Where Jeff went, Audrey was sure be by his side, most often a calming presence, a balancing figure, even from a young age.

When Jeff started skating like his siblings, Audrey was scooting along beside him.

When Jeff started figure skating lessons, Audrey twirled right there with him.

When Jeff started hockey practice too…Audrey helped him practice in his backyard.

She kept his many emotions as level as possible – he made sure she strayed out of her comfort zone. Friends came and went, schools changed, injuries healed, but things never changed between Jeff and Audrey. She trusted him as wholly as he trusted her, and their friendship only grew stronger every year. It didn’t matter that they couldn’t have been more different in appearance and personality – her long straight blonde hair versus his dark brown curls, or her grey eyes versus his brown eyes, or even her sweet retiring nature versus his joyful energetic nature. They complemented each other perfectly, balancing each other out and boosting each other up, and this only strengthened as they grew older.

Summers were spent practicing hockey in the backyard with all of their many siblings, road hockey games leaving sunburn, grazed knees, the occasional tears, sticky ice-cream and fond memories. Whenever Jeff got cuts on his knees, elbows or on one occasion his chin, he accepted Audrey’s pretty princess bandaids with a shaky smile. Whenever Audrey got knocked on her ass (by accident) by one of the older girls, she blinked away her tears as Jeff fiercely defended her, yelling at his sisters and hers in turn. When Jeff’s curls got too much for the summer heat, she held his hand as his dad clipped his hair short, watching sadly as the curls fell to the ground. When Audrey broke her arm in the last hockey game of the season, Jeff pestered his sisters to teach him how to braid their hair, so he could surprise Audrey by braiding her long blonde hair back out of her face for her, earning him the biggest smile he had ever seen. Every summer held a special memory for Audrey and Jeff, the sweetness of childhood and the beauty of friendship, and it didn’t matter what else was going on, what other friends joined or left – they always made time for each other. Summers were their thing, even more so when Jeff went to Kitchener – this made summers even more special, their time to spend together without normal-life distractions, and Audrey treasured it more than anything.

Time seemed to only be going past faster as they grew older though, and with that came changes. Growing up came with growing out of love with figure skating for Audrey.

While her interest in figure skating waned by the time she was 12, she never lost interest in his skating, whether that was figure skating or ice hockey. Audrey was even there watching with his family at the Canadian Junior National Figure Skating Championships (she couldn’t have been more proud of his bronze medal) before he chose to focus just on hockey. And as for hockey – Audrey truly was his biggest supporter. She went to every game possible, with either his family or with hers as well, and whether it was a win or a loss, Audrey was ready with a big hug and a smile. And Jeff appreciated it more than he could ever say. When he heard murmurs of people commenting on his small size, she would fiercely defend him, insisting that his speed, skill and heart were more than anyone could ever hope to measure up to. Because it was true. Jeff had always been special, Audrey knew that, and her heart could only fill with pride as he continued to prove people wrong.

But he never proved her wrong. She always knew he was going to be magnificent.

That was the funny thing about love – when you know, you know. And Audrey had known how she felt about the boy with the brilliant smile for a very long time. Her heart had been Jeff’s before she even knew what it meant, and as they grew older, especially as early teenagers, Audrey realised just what her feelings for her best friend meant.

She knew there was a glimmer of hope that Jeff felt the same. She knew that Jeff shared things with her (thoughts, feelings, fears) that he shared with no-one else. She knew that there were moments that lingered with a what if? She knew that the boys on his teams always teased him for having a girl best friend and that he always shrugged it off. She knew that the way he blushed around her sometimes was more than just nothing.

But she also knew that she could never tell him how she felt. Why? Because even at 16 she knew that he was destined to play in the NHL – and she wanted a career of her own too. Was it selfish? Perhaps. Was there a hint of cowardice? Perhaps. The thing is, Audrey had only ever known herself by Jeff’s side – and she wanted the chance to know who she was without him, as much as the very thought scared her.

So when Jeff was drafted to Kitchener, Audrey buckled down in school to get herself into college. She still went to as many games of Jeff’s as she could, still told him all the time of how proud she was, still phoned him every week to talk about anything and everything, still went with him family to his draft day and cried when he was selected 7th overall by the Carolina Hurricanes.

He was finally living his dream – now it was time to live hers.

Over the next four years, Audrey completed a civil engineering degree from University of Toronto. Staying in Toronto meant she got to stay close to her family – and to Jeff’s, who she saw in some capacity at least once a month. And naturally, regardless of exams or school events, if Jeff was in town playing the Leafs, Audrey would be there watching with his family – always with that big hug and a smile.

And as Jeff’s career continued to soar, Audrey’s narrowed into focus. After another year in education, completing a Masters in Environmental Sciences, she graduated straight into a job for a green energy company, staying in Toronto like she always had done. Same old Audrey.

That was, until the summer of 2018. That was the summer that Jeff got traded to Buffalo. That was the summer that Audrey’s company offered her a promotion with the condition that it came with an office transfer…to Buffalo. She would be managing her own pollution project with a small team, her first by herself but an opportunity that she knew she was ready for. And Jeff had been ecstatic – the nerves and anxiety of moving to a new city, to a new team, was lessened by the promise of being in the same city as his best friend after all these years. Audrey called it a happy coincidence. Her mom called it fate and a kick up the backside.

She ignored her mom on that one.

Two years passed and that happy coincidence was working out perfectly. Around both of their busy schedules, they tried to see each as often as possible, whether it was dinners after a long day in the lab, meeting each other for lunch nearby Audrey’s office, weekends off chilling on the sofa, or going out for drinks after her meetings or after his games.

With that came the standing tickets that Jeff always put aside of Audrey for all home games he played in. Audrey had yet to miss one, so happy she got to give him that big hug and a smile like she used to when they were younger.

And Jeff couldn’t have been happier. He had his calming rock, his confidante, the person he could be his most vulnerable self with. Just like he listened to her vent over her frustrating lab results or her long admin days in the office, she listened to him vent about his stresses in hockey. She listened to him get angry and sad and frustrated and desperate about the slump he had last year – and every time she reminded him of the love he has for the sport, for his career, always encouraging and telling him that if nothing else, she thought he was wonderful. She also listened to his nerves and excitement about Eric getting traded to Buffalo this summer, knowing that as much as Jeff was worried that things would be different within his friendship with his old mentor, their reunion would be a good thing for both players.

Audrey was his everything, and Jeff only wished he could show her how much she truly meant to him.

One thing that moving to Buffalo did change about their relationship was that they both saw the other one go on dates. Sure, Audrey was well aware that Jeff’s charm had worked well for him in Raleigh, and Jeff was more than well aware that Audrey turned heads wherever she went, but before they’d never seen the other one going on a date or being in a relationship.

Not that either of them had lasting relationships over the past two years, but there had definitely been enough dates to affect both of their hearts.

Audrey was the one that was currently dating – had been on a few dates now with the same guy. David. Jeff had weird vibes from this one already and he hadn’t even met him. But just from the way that Audrey described him, recounted their dates, Jeff had a bad feeling about this guy. David was an attorney, ambitious and confident, and he’d taken Audrey out to three fancy cocktail bars, a night out watching a play, and two very fancy restaurants, but…Jeff didn’t know. He just had that niggling thought that something wasn’t quite right about him.

And unfortunately, Jeff was proven right.

It was 10pm on the night of their seventh date that Jeff’s phone rang. Audrey. A pang of dread ran through him, and he quickly answered.

“Hey, Aud, you okay?” he asked, worried.

“No. He…”

He heard her take a shaky breath, and immediately felt sick.

“I’m coming over,” Jeff said, walking over to his front door and shoving on the first pair of shoes he picked up.

“Jeff, no, it’s okay,”

“I’m coming over,” he repeated firmly, before sighing, “you sound like you need a hug,”

Audrey choked out a laugh, settling Jeff’s stomach a little. At least she could still laugh.

“I’ll be with you soon, okay?” Jeff said softly.

“Yeah, okay. See you soon,”

He wasted no time in driving over to her apartment, potentially pushing the speed limit a little, but as soon as he saw her tear-streaked face he knew it was worth it.

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m here,” Jeff cooed.

As soon as he pulled her into his arms, Audrey started crying into his chest, making Jeff curse under his breath. He carefully walked her backwards, shutting the front door behind himself, and manoeuvred them both over to the sofa, letting her curl up on his lap. It was all he could do to hold her tightly as she cried, rubbing her back and murmuring nonsense into her blonde curls, trying not to tense up too much as he plotted David’s murder in his head.

Eventually she calmed down enough to lift her head, the smudged mascara under her eyes breaking her heart. He rubbed at the marks with his thumb, making her laugh a little watery, before he sent her an encouraging smile.

“So what happened?” he asked softly.

Audrey’s bottom lip wobbled briefly, before she took a deep breath.

“He broke up with me,” she whispered.

Jeff immediately scowled, and Audrey’s lips twitched in a smile.

“That asshole,” Jeff growled.

“Well, it wasn’t a break-up break-up because we were never official, but it was 7 dates, y’know? I thought we were exclusive and heading somewhere,” Audrey sighed.

“It was still the end of something important, Aud. And you liked him,” Jeff said firmly.

“Yeah, I did,” she said shakily, sniffing as her eyes filled with tears again.

“Hey, no, don’t waste any more tears on that asshole,” Jeff said sadly, cupping her face with both hands.

Then he squished her cheeks making her pout like a fish until she giggled, batting at his hands to let her go. Jeff smiled again, earning a soft smile back.

“Did he say why he wanted to break up?” Jeff asked, wincing.

Audrey swallowed heavily, dropping her eyes from his face, before she forced a smile on her lips.

“Apparently he didn’t want to waste any more time trying to get into my pants when he could get sex on tap with his secretary,” she said as calmly as possible.

Jeff’s jaw dropped, rage immediately flooding through his body. Audrey saw this and held her hand up to stop him exploding, which barely made him simmer down.

“Oh that fucking asshole!” Jeff spat, hands gripping onto her hips where she was still sitting on his lap.

She just nodded, smiling sadly. “At least I never actually slept with him,”

“Thank fucking god for that,” Jeff scowled.

Audrey placed her hand over his heart, making him look at her properly. “Hey, it’s okay. Well, it’s not, but it’s better that I know now than before we went into anything more, right?”

Jeff’s anger melted down a little, realising that she was trying to be brave, trying to protect herself, and steeled himself, nodding.

“Yeah, you are so much better off without him. He never deserved you,” Jeff said firmly.

“I know you didn’t like him,” Audrey said dryly, making Jeff blush a little.

“No, I didn’t. But you did. I only ever want you to be happy,” he said softly.

Now it was Audrey’s turn to blush.

“I know. And I appreciate that,” she said sweetly, although the sadness in her eyes told him she wasn’t quite there yet.

Jeff smiled sadly, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to her blonde hair.

“I’m here for you, no matter what. You know that,” he said, looking into her grey eyes.

Audrey’s eyes filled with tears again, and she looked away, trying to blink away the sadness that he didn’t deserve.

“Are you okay?” he frowned.

“Yeah,” she sniffed, nodding.

Jeff paused for a moment, looking over Audrey’s exhausted face properly.

“Honest answer?” he pushed.

She choked out a laugh, a small smile teasing at her lips. She should’ve known she couldn’t fool him, not the one person who knew her better than anyone.

“No,” she admitted.

Jeff nodded, smiling sadly, as if he had expected that response. “Would it help if I stayed?”

“Oh god, so much. But you-”

“If you’re about to finish that sentence with don’t have to then I will be so mad,” Jeff interrupted, raising an eyebrow, making Audrey blush lightly, “You’re my best friend, Aud, of course I want to stay,”

“Okay then,” Audrey said softly, “let’s get to bed then,”

Jeff followed her silently, smiling at the familiarity. This was far from the first time they’d shared a bed, sleepovers when they were younger a very common thing, and it wasn’t the first time they’d shared a bed in Buffalo either, a few drunken nights out leaving them passed out snuggling. But it was the first time they’d shared a bed after a broken heart – and that changed things.

They stayed silent as they got ready for bed, Jeff just pushing off his sweatpants to leave him in his t-shirt and underwear while Audrey changed into short-shorts and an old t-shirt, but Jeff was basically vibrating with the need to talk by the time Audrey came back from the bathroom.

“You know what, this isn’t enough,” Jeff said suddenly.

Audrey jumped at the sharpness in his voice, earning a sheepish smile from her best friend.

“You deserve to be happy. I want to make you happy,” Jeff said softly.

“You already do, Jeff,” she said, a little confused.

“I just mean…you deserve a date that makes you happy. You deserve to be so happy. So I want to take you out,” Jeff explained.

Audrey inhaled sharply. What did he…

Take her out?

Jeff saw the confusion, the nerves, the hope on her face, and swallowed heavily. Maybe he hadn’t been thinking when he first opened his mouth, but now he couldn’t take the words back. He didn’t want to take the words back.

He wanted to take her out.

He’d wanted to take her out for so long, the urge getting stronger and stronger with every terrible date she went on, with every terrible guy she met. He’d loved the girl with the loving heart for as long as he’d known what love is, but she’d always been just out of reach, never the right moment. And he didn’t want to scare her off, not after her heartbreak tonight. So…a dinner could work, right?

But he had to do this properly. She deserved that.

“Go out to dinner with me. Tomorrow night?” Jeff asked softly.

“In what context?” Audrey found herself asking.

Because as much as she wanted to curse herself for not just saying yes, she needed to know. Jeff chewed his bottom lip, thinking over his words carefully, and Audrey just waited with a fluttering heart.

“I want to make you happy. Can we just say that for now?” Jeff eventually said.

Audrey let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding but nodded. That…perhaps that was for the best for now. The thought of anything more, so out of the blue, after such a bad break-up, was extremely overwhelming. The thought of anything more with Jeff in itself was overwhelming after so long. Maybe it would feel too weird at dinner with him – keeping it low-key would limit any damage to their friendship, right?

“I would like that,” she nodded.

The smile that Jeff sent her was devastatingly happy, and it was impossible not to smile back.

“So we’ll have breakfast together before you have to leave for work, and then I’ll come come back around 7 to pick you up?” Jeff suggested.

It was all Audrey could do to nod, the smile still on her face. Whatever tomorrow night would bring, whether it was just a nice dinner out or the start of something new, she couldn’t wait.

7pm came around for Audrey before she even realised it. Her outfit was on, her hair was curled and pinned half-up half-down, and she was wearing a cute little pair of heels she had been saving for a special moment. And this was a special moment, no matter what they’d agreed. The butterflies in her stomach told her that much.

Of course she’d gone into work and told her colleagues all about what happened with David (who were all completely shocked and disgusted – and she had her suspicions that one of them would send him a glitter bomb to his office), as well as letting her older siblings know in their group chat. Her oldest sister Laura offered to send an anonymous tip to his work place to ruin him. Her older brother Simon offered to fly down and punch him in the throat. Her sister closest-to-her-in-age Dana offered to visit for as long as Audrey needed. She smiled and thanked all of them, but said it wasn’t necessary and that Jeff was taking care of her. Laura and Simon teased her like they usually did (and she knew that Laura, who was good friends with Jeff’s sister Jennifer, would be telling the Skinner family too), but Dana messaged her separately.

Because after Jeff, it was Dana who knew her best. And Dana could tell that something was different this time.

So Audrey had confessed everything during a call on her lunch break, telling her sister how Jeff had asked her out to dinner, admitting that it wasn’t quite a date but that he wanted to make her happy. Dana, naturally, had been over the moon, basically squealing in excitement down the phone, but Audrey had sworn her to secrecy. It wasn’t a date date. Nothing had been said between them. And she didn’t want to get her hopes up. Reluctantly Dana agreed to keep quiet for now, but she did insist on helping Audrey get ready for their not-date after work.

And to be honest, Audrey had really appreciated the confidence boost. Over video call, her sister her helped her narrow down her outfit to a cute long sleeved blue dress with a swishy skirt, knowing that blue really made her hair and her eyes pop. Pairing that with the cute comfy silver heels and a matching silver bag, Audrey was waiting by the door with her grey coat in hand, trying not to chew off her lipstick.

Then her phone buzzed. Dana.

From: Dana

Have fun tonight!

I know you’re trying to keep things low-key, but just see what the evening brings.

Go with the flow.

Be open to opportunities.

Call me tomorrow!

Audrey couldn’t help but smile, sending back a trio of heart emojis. Her sister really was the best. It was only moments later that Jeff arrived, and she rushed downstairs to meet him with a smile. She could do this. She could be open to possibilities. She could go with the flow.

“Wow, you look amazing,”

Audrey blushed at Jeff’s words, earning a blush back. She looked him up and down dramatically, making him laugh, but to be honest? He looked incredible. Jeff was wearing her favourite dark grey suit, a slight tweed in the pattern, with a white shirt that had the top two buttons undone. Incredible.

“You look great yourself,” she replied.

Jeff’s answering smile made her heart skip a beat. They walked to his car without further hesitation, just talking about their days as he drove, until Jeff parked up outside of a nice sushi restaurant.

“I hope this is okay?” Jeff said hesitantly.

“You know I love sushi,” she mused.

“I know, but we’ve never gone into an actual sushi restaurant, we always just order take-out,” Jeff pointed out.

She put her hand over his on the gear stick, making him inhale sharply.

“Then it’ll make a nice change to try a new setting, Jeff. I’m excited, let’s do this,” she said happily.

Jeff just nodded, the nerves in his stomach settling a little. They ate sushi all the time – this was just a nice dinner. Nothing weird or unusual about this at all. He could totally do this.

The way she looked shyly at him as they walked to the door still made his body thrum with nerves though.

But neither of them should’ve been nervous. The dinner went past so smoothly it felt like magic to Audrey. The food was fantastic – both of them daring the other to try at least one dish they hadn’t had before – and their conversation flowed like it always did. To be honest it felt like their usual nights – if Jeff hadn’t added that level of what if then it wouldn’t have been any different. But he did add it, and neither of them could forget that.

As always, Audrey made Jeff feel like the only guy in the world, her warm smile focused only on him. As always, Jeff made Audrey feel like the most important person in the world, so sweet and kind. And as always, they laughed and smiled and talked, and Audrey couldn’t have been happier.

Jeff achieved what he had promised to do – he had made her so happy. So what next?

They arrived back at Audrey’s apartment building late, having taken a walk after dinner, not wanting the night to end so soon, wanting this idyllic moment to continue on as long as possible.

But eventually they had to call it to an end, both of them having early starts in the morning, as much as they wished otherwise. Like the gentleman he always was with her, Jeff walked Audrey up to the front door of the building, both of them pausing.

“I had a really good time tonight,” Audrey said softly, looking up into Jeff’s eyes.

“So did I,” Jeff replied.

They both blushed, Audrey ducking her head, before she looked back up at him. She’d always seen him look at her like this, so open and happy, but for some reason tonight added another level. He was looking at her like there was nowhere else he’d rather be. And that sent a thrill through her body that both excited her and overwhelmed her. But in a good way?

“I know you’re busy for the next couple of days, but we could do something on Saturday?” Audrey offered.

Jeff nodded so enthusiastically that she couldn’t help but laugh.

“That sounds perfect,” Jeff grinned, not deterred in the slightest, “I’ll bring takeout?”

“I’d like that,” Audrey nodded in agreement.

She bit her bottom lip, hand reaching out to brush against his hand briefly, before she stepped away, heart pounding in her chest.

“Thanks for tonight Jeff. Call me tomorrow?” she said, a little breathless.

“Yeah, of course. See you,” he said, smiling a little hopelessly.

They lingered in silence a little longer, before Audrey laughed, opening her front door as Jeff rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Bye Audrey, sleep tight,” Jeff smiled, finally starting to walk away.

And she absolutely did.

Audrey spent the next day in a daze. She’d woken up with more butterflies in her stomach than she ever thought possible, a stupid smile on her face as she read Jeff’s good morning :) text. Last night had been different. So different. But she liked it? She had definitely liked exploring this new side of Jeff, the guy she’d known since they were toddlers, but who walked to their dinner table with a hand on the small of her back and pulled out her chair for her.

He showed her the romantic side of him last night, and she definitely liked what she saw.

And when she gushed down the phone to her sister Dana on her lunch break again, she knew her sister was at least a little smug.

“I told you that being open to opportunities was a good thing!”

“I know, I know, but I didn’t expect this,” Audrey laughed.

“What, the boy who’s always been in love with you making you just as happy as we all always knew he would?”

Audrey blushed at the dryness in her sister’s voice, and shook her head.

“He’s not always been in love with me, don’t be ridiculous,” Audrey said simply.

“If I was with you right now I would be shaking you by the shoulders. Talk to him. I swear to god. You know I wouldn’t say it, not now, if I didn’t mean it,”

Audrey swallowed heavily. Dana’s voice had so much conviction in it, like she truly believed what she was saying, and that only sent Audrey’s head into more of a spin. Jeff…was in love with her?

That phone call hadn’t helped, to be honest. This was all still throwing her for a loop. Her feelings for Jeff had been building up for two decades, two long decades, and to have the potential of his feelings matching hers? It was almost too much to bear.

And she had to wait until Saturday to be able to see him in person again. This was so much more than something she could do over text, or over a phone call, but she knew that maybe waiting was a good idea. Maybe it would give her time to get her thoughts together, to not be impulsive. Maybe it would give her enough time to get her head around the thought of Jeff’s feelings. Maybe.

The day after that passed with a blur as well, going faster than she thought possible, and even after another phone call with Dana on the Friday night, Audrey still didn’t know what she was thinking. But she knew she had to try. So just after midday, changing into a pretty pale blue dress and curling her hair lightly, she headed over to his house. Jeff opened the door with his usual smile, and he welcomed her in straight away. She bit her bottom lip as he not-so-subtly checked her ass out in the dress, trying to stop the smile that threatened to break out. Maybe. Just maybe.

“So I told Dana about our dinner the other night,” Audrey blurted out.

Damn it.

Jeff’s eyes widened in fear, making Audrey laugh slightly, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“I swore her to secrecy, she’s not going to say anything to anyone,” she reassured.

“I mean, if it was Laura you told, I know she would’ve already told Jennifer, and then everyone would know within the hour,” Jeff admitted.

Oh god yeah, that would’ve been the worst idea.

“So, um, what did you tell her?” Jeff asked hesitantly.

“That you took me out to dinner because you wanted to make me happy. And that I had a really good time,” Audrey summarised, not wanting to admit the full extent quite yet.

Jeff’s instant brilliant smile made her heart race a little, before he blushed. “Okay, that’s not so bad. What did she say in response?”

Audrey hesitated, not sure how much detail to go into. She definitely couldn’t say that Dana thought Jeff was in love with her…

“That I should be open to opportunities, that we should see where this goes,” Audrey eventually said.

Jeff bit his bottom lip, but nodded, looking deep in thought, which Audrey didn’t know whether it was a good thing or not.

“She makes a lot of sense,” Jeff said softly.

Audrey inhaled sharply. Just like that?

“What if something goes wrong between us?” she whispered.

“What if something goes right?” Jeff countered, stepping towards her.

Audrey didn’t dare move, Jeff getting closer and closer until he was standing right in front of her, barely a foot of space between them, his beautiful brown eyes dark and intense, making her head swim. So she shook her head, trying to clear out the haze.

“I can’t lose you. If something didn’t work out between us, I couldn’t bear to lose you, I don’t know what I’d do,” she said firmly.

Jeff licked his bottom lip nervously, his eyes going through various emotions.

“And if we didn’t let ourselves feel? We just carry on as we always have done, never knowing?” Jeff frowned.

Let ourselves feel. Was he admitting his feelings? Did he know hers already?

“I don’t know, Jeff. I just don’t know,” she mumbled.

Jeff reached out with both hands, cupping her elbows gently.

“I don’t think we can just go back,” Jeff admitted.

Well, shit.

“So where does that leave us?” Audrey asked softly.

“I don’t know! But I can’t stand the thought of you giving your heart away again to some guy who doesn’t appreciate it! Who doesn’t deserve it!” Jeff snapped, stepping away from her sharply.

Audrey’s jaw dropped slightly, her heart beating faster as a lump rose in her throat.

Jeff swallowed heavily, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. “I didn’t mean to raise my voice at you, I swear. But can’t you see that these other guys have only ever treated you like shit?”

Audrey’s lips pressed together in a tight line, trying to control her emotions, and she clenched her fists.

“I know that I haven’t exactly had a good track record, but you haven’t really had the best taste in dates either Jeff. All the exact same type of woman traipsing through your life and not a single one has stuck around,” Audrey said angrily.

“That’s because none of them ever measured up to you!” Jeff retorted.

His words hung in the air, Audrey inhaling sharply. Jeff groaned and closed his eyes, wishing he could take his last statement back, but knowing that he couldn’t. It was out there now, the real reasoning, but he was nervous to open his eyes and see Audrey’s reaction.

Would she be angry? Disgusted? Happy?

“Jeff, please look at me,” Audrey said softly.

“I don’t know if I can,” he said, choking out a laugh.

“Please?”

Jeff took a deep breath, before doing so, the pleading in her voice making him powerless. When he finally looked at her, he could barely read her face, the first time in a very long time.

“None of them measured up to me?” she said quietly.

It was the sheer volume of hope in her eyes that made Jeff brave enough to speak.

“You’ve been it for me for a long time, Aud,” he admitted.

There it was.

The noise that Audrey made was so full of both surprise and hurt that Jeff flinched. But she quickly reached out towards him, tugging him back towards her with her hands at his waist.

“I’m it? You…you really do love me?”

Jeff laughed a little wetly, full of emotion, but he nodded which only made Audrey’s heart clench. After all this time…

“I love you Audrey Marie James. I have done for a long time,” Jeff said simply.

“Oh Jeff. Jeff, I love you too,” Audrey whimpered, “so much,”

Jeff grinned, so hard that he made his cheeks hurt, before raising his hands to cup her face. He squished her cheeks into a fish pout like he always did, making her laugh and bat at his hands, breaking the tension.

“Fuck, I love you,” Jeff said happily, hands moving to rest on her shoulders.

“I love you too. Oh my god. I love you. I can’t believe I finally got to say it out loud,” Audrey giggled.

Jeff just laughed as well, giddiness overtaking him, not letting him think of anything but her.

“We’ve wasted so much time,” he huffed.

But Audrey just shook her head, her smile a little sad. “I was just so scared of not having you in my life that I didn’t dare risk you rejecting me,”

“There is no parallel universe in which I would reject you,” Jeff laughed.

“Nerd,” she said fondly, earning a brilliant smile, “I just…I wanted my own career too, y’know? And I didn’t know what would’ve happened if I just followed you for the rest of my life,”

Jeff swallowed heavily at her confession, but nodded.

“I don’t know what would’ve happened either. We’ll never know. But what I do know is that you’re a brilliant woman, who is crazy smart and wonderful and beautiful, and I’m so proud of everything you achieved. Like, you’re literally a civil engineer and an environmental scientist! That’s so cool! I’m just happy you could possibly want to be with boring old hockey-playing Jeff,”

“You’re not boring or old. And I fell in love with hockey-playing Jeff a long time ago, so I really don’t think I’m losing out here,” Audrey mused.

Jeff huffed a laugh, his heart racing a little more at her firm words, leaning his head down to rest his forehead against hers. “Well would you be this hockey player’s girlfriend?”

“Only if you’ll be this engineer-scientist’s boyfriend,” she countered.

Jeff grinned, dimples out in full force, making Audrey tilt her head back to laugh. This was real life. This was really happening. Holy shit.

But there was just one thing left…

“Hey, Jeff?” she said suddenly.

“Yeah?” he asked, one hand rising to cup her face.

It was when his thumb stroked over her cheekbone that she knew this was everything.

“Will you kiss me?”

Jeff looked a little astounded, jaw dropping a little, before that brilliant smile came back.

“Yeah, ‘f course,” he murmured.

Audrey inhaled sharply, before tilting her head up, leaning up towards him as Jeff leant down to her. Their lips touched softly, sweetly, both of them breaking off to laugh, both a little stunned, before Audrey pressed her lips to his again a little firmer. Jeff made a soft happy noise, kissing her back, his free hand sliding around her waist to bring their bodies together. She moaned in surprise at the feeling of his strong body against hers, but melted in his arms, lost in the motion of their kisses, completely consumed in a way she’d never been before.

Jeff broke away briefly with another soft moan, eyes searching her face a little desperately, before he kissed her again, clutching her a little tighter. And then he broke away for a final time, taking a step back with wild eyes, leaving her head spinning.

“I don’t want to get carried away,” Jeff panted, cheeks heating up in a blush.

Audrey bit her bottom lip but nodded, knowing her was right even if her racing heart didn’t want to admit it. “At least it was worth the wait?” she offered.

Jeff just groaned, making her laugh. Then her breath caught in her throat as Jeff adjusted his dick in his pants, alerting her to just how riled up he gotten. Oh fuck. Carried away indeed.

“You’re worth so much more to me than rushing into sex. I want to ease into things, y’know? I’ve waited this long for you to be mine, I can wait a little longer,” he said seriously.

“I love you too,” Audrey said happily.

Jeff just smiled that brilliant smile.

To: Dana

He loves me.

He loves me!

From: Dana

Holy fucking shit, about time.

Can I actually tell everyone now?

The next two weeks were the happiest that Audrey could remember. They had three days in a row together where Jeff wasn’t doing anything other than light training and rest, ahead of a 10 day roadtrip, and they made the most of it. Well, after another long talk about their emotions, because they could do that now, and fielding various calls from their many family members, they’d also spent a lot of time sweetly making out on the sofa whenever Audrey wasn’t working. Because hey, they could do that now too. To be honest, Audrey was a little addicted to the feeling of his lips on hers anyway – she fantasised about it for years on the occasional forbidden burst of weakness, but the reality of it blew away all fantasy.

Jeff was finally hers, and she couldn’t be happier.

The 10 days that Jeff was away on his sweeping road trip was harder this time though too. She didn’t expect it to be this hard, but she supposed that the emotions she’d locked away for so long were finally out and they were vulnerable in this newness. It did help with Jeff calling her every night though. She did tell him he didn’t have to, that she sure as hell didn’t expect it, but he just said that he’d always wanted to call her every night but he felt like he would be pushing boundaries. So how could she say no to that?

And it did make having him home finally a sweeter moment.

Tonight was the first home game since they got together officially, and Audrey was a little nervous. It was tradition for the players’ partners to wear a special customised jersey, and Jeff had presented her with one in the hopes that she would wear it to the game tonight. She had immediately agreed, of course, but it didn’t make this new step any less daunting. It was a big declaration, so public, but she did want people to know that Jeff was hers just as much as she was his.

It wouldn’t be so scary, right? She hadn’t missed a home game since he’d been in Buffalo, and she wasn’t about to start now.

So after kissing Jeff goodbye, leaving him with a sweet smile as he headed to the rink early to prepare for the game, Audrey got herself ready to enter the arena as Jeff Skinner’s girlfriend, a little more make-up and hair curled a little neater than usual, just like armour.

“Oh my God, Audrey!”

Audrey jumped at the sound of Tanya Staal’s shriek as she entered the family box, unable to stop the smile that spread across her lips. There had been a few occasions in Raleigh, when Audrey had visited while Eric was still playing there, that Audrey had met the former captain’s wife, and she had always been so sweet and welcoming. And although Tanya mostly stayed up in the family box with their kids, there had been a few team occasions since Eric was traded to Buffalo this season started that Audrey had attended as just Jeff’s friend (as that’s obviously all she had been until recently) where she’d been able to make friends with the older woman properly this time round.

Audrey always had the impression that Tanya thought she and Jeff were more than friends, but obviously now with the statement of the jersey, it was clear that the situation had changed.

“Is this true? Is this really happening?” Tanya asked hopefully.

Audrey blushed but nodded, earning a happy squeal.

“Yeah, Jeff told me he loved me two weeks ago and we’ve been dating ever since,” Audrey admitted.

“Holy shit, about time,” Tanya laughed.

It was all Audrey could do to nod, laughing a little wetly, still a bit overwhelmed.

“Okay, let me introduce you to the other player’s partners? It’s totally different than just being a friend,” Tanya offered.

Thank fuck for a friendly face. Audrey nodded in relief, letting Tanya guide her around the various women and children, the partners that she’d met previously thrilled with the news of the relationship status change (most of them saying finally or about time, which really made Audrey reconsider how obvious she’d been), and the rest of them just as welcoming. She’d done it. She was officially introduced, and she felt almost giddy with it.

The game itself was choppy, rough with hits and scrappy with goals, but the Sabres managed to pull out a win making all the people in the family box cheer. Tanya walked down by her side to wait for their men, linking their arms together like she knew just how much Audrey needed the support. As soon as Jeff saw her by Tanya’s side in their customised jerseys, his face got a really dumb lovestruck look, making Tanya laugh and nudge Audrey over to him.

“Hi, wow,” Jeff said happily.

“You like it?” she asked softly.

“You know I do,” Jeff murmured.

It was all Audrey could do to lean up on her tiptoes and kiss him, earning happy sighs and coos from the other women around them. She broke away with a laugh, moving so that they were just holding hands, but couldn’t stop looking at him despite how sappy she knew it was.

“You were amazing. I’m so proud of you,” she said softly.

“Couldn’t let you down, not when I knew you were watching as my girl,” Jeff grinned.

Audrey just laughed, rolling her eyes fondly. More players started walking out now (Jeff must’ve rushed out, bless him), including…Eric Staal.

Eric took one look at the way they were looking at each other and whooped.

“Holy shit, about time,” Eric grinned, unknowingly mimicking his wife.

“Nice to see you too, Staal,” Audrey said dryly, although she leaned up to kiss his cheek in greeting with a smile.

“Oh god yeah, you’ll know about their long suffering pining, won’t you Staalsy?” Jack laughed from behind Eric, joining their little group, Tanya already under Eric’s arm.

“So much pining, it was painful,” Eric said solemnly, although the laughter in his eyes mostly ruined the effect, “Audrey visited a few times down in Raleigh and she was at every game against the Leafs too, and Jeff’s smile was always at it’s brightest when she was there,”

“Gotta support my best friend,” she said simply, nudging Jeff with her arm.

Jeff nudged her back, but she didn’t miss the pleased smile on his lips.

“Oh come on, it was so much more than that! Jeff’s crush was so damn obvious, right from the very first time Audrey visited,” Eric mused, looking at Jack.

Audrey grinned. Was it now? Jeff just rolled his eyes, making her laugh.

“We literally only started dating two weeks ago,” Audrey pointed out.

“You’re shitting me, I thought you were joking Jeff,” Eric said, jaw dropping.

“I can actually confirm that. That day that Skinny came in to practice smiling like it was Christmas and his birthday all rolled into one really was the first full day,” Jack smirked.

Jeff blushed furiously, making Audrey laugh. Eric just shook his head, still shocked.

“All that time and you never did anything about your crush?” Eric asked, confused, “I thought you were just keeping things low-key,”

Hah, not quite.

“We tried telling him,” Jack sighed dramatically, although he was clearly loving this.

“Holy shit Skinny, took you long enough,” Eric snorted, Tanya just giggling.

“If we’re done gossiping like old grandmas?” Jeff asked dryly.

“Never,” Eric grinned.

Jack just looked delighted, and Jeff knew there was no way that the rest of the team wouldn’t hear about this.

“I’d say it was worth the wait,” Audrey said happily, squeezing his hand.

Jeff’s irritation immediately faded to a soft happiness, and Jack made a loud gagging noise at their heart-eyes.

“Okay, I’m out. Hurry up and shower, Skinny. We’ve got team drinks to get to,” Jack said firmly.

Jack sent Audrey a wink, letting her know how happy he really was for them, before leaving them.

“So does this mean I can tell Jordie? He’s going to be thrilled,” Eric grinned.

Jeff just groaned.

Dancin' in the kitchen, You singing my favourite songs, Swinging on the front porch, Just laughing at the dogs, Now you swear you love me more, When you're whispering goodnight, All those little moments are every reason why.

Jeff watched from the kitchen door as Audrey sang to herself, swaying slightly as she stirred whatever she was cooking in the pot on the stove. He didn’t think he could love her anymore than he already did, but seeing her like this in his kitchen, blonde hair loose and messy, wearing one of his t-shirts instead of one of her own, well…he was happy to prove himself wrong.

Then she spotted him out of the corner of her eye and shrieked, swirling around to face him with one hand clutching her heart.

“You almost scared me to death,” she gasped, pouting.

Jeff laughed, shrugging apologetically. “I couldn’t help myself. You looked so cute singing and dancing to your music,”

Audrey blushed a little, but shrugged too. “I’m obsessed with this Kane Brown song right now. Although if I’d known you were watching I probably wouldn’t have sung…”

“Aww no, don’t ever stop because of me,” Jeff mused, shaking his head, earning a smile from her, “maybe I can make it up to you?”

Audrey frowned in confusion, before Jeff moved his hand out from behind him, revealing the flowers he’d been hiding behind his back.

“You bought me flowers? How sweet!” she cooed, reaching out for the bouquet.

“Yeah? You like them?” Jeff asked hopefully.

She nodded, smiling widely as she inhaled deeply, making Jeff smile in turn. “I love them Jeff. And, um, no-one’s ever bought me flowers before,”

Jeff’s heart flickered with rage, at all those stupid guys she’d dated, who never deserved her, who never treated her like she deserved, before he forced himself to take a deep breath. No, past assholes weren’t worth thinking about any more. He was going to prove to her that he was worth it instead of them.

“Well I happen to love buying flowers, so be on the look out for more,”

“Jeff!” Audrey giggled, “You know I don’t want to buying me things, spoiling me,”

Because it was true. She didn’t want it or need it. And she never wanted him to think that it was expected.

“Oh they’re definitely not for you. They’re for me,” Jeff grinned, clearly lying.

Audrey rolled her eyes fondly, before smiling. “Oh, well, if they’re for you then that’s definitely acceptable,” she teased.

Jeff just laughed, moving to slide his arms around her waist, Audrey sliding her arms up around his neck, the flowers still in her hand.

“Will you dance with me?” Jeff asked softly.

“Right now?” Audrey laughed.

“Right now,” Jeff nodded, deadly serious.

Audrey laughed again but nodded, letting him sway her from side to side in a simple two-step shuffle, resting her forehead against his. It was little sweet moments like this, Jeff surprising her with his romantic notions, that made Audrey’s heart ache a little for all the potential missed moments over the years, but also made her heart sing that she got to experience them with him now.

Because this guy was everything to her, and even something as simple as him buying her flowers, or asking her to dance in the middle of the kitchen, made her realise just how lucky she was.

Mornings were quickly becoming Audrey’s favourite time of day. Whether it was waking up in her own bed or waking up in Jeff’s, seeing his face first thing as she woke up just made her day started so perfectly.

How could she not love feeling his arms wrapped around her? How his face was usually buried in her hair? How his leg slotted between hers?

She knew she loved that first sleepy smile, his wonderful dimples soft and gentle, always giving her butterflies without fail. She definitely loved the way his groggy voice murmured her name, how he pressed a closed-mouth kiss to her lips, never wanting to wait for that first simple pecked kiss before he brushed his teeth.

It was everything she could ever have asked for, everything she could never have dreamed of. With the highs came the lows, of course, and being in his arms those mornings was just as important. Like this morning, for instance.

“Last night was rough…” Jeff sighed, scrubbing at his tired eyes with the palms of his hands.

The game. The game was so stressful even just watching, so Audrey could only imagine how it would’ve felt being on the ice. Turnovers, stupid penalties, sloppy passes – it really just wasn’t their night. And when Jeff had finally walked out of the changing room ready to go home…well, it was all Audrey could do to go to bed in silence and let him curl into her side.

“…but waking up with you by my side makes me feel a million times better already,” he finished.

“You, Jeffrey Skinner, are a sap,” Audrey said fondly.

“Well you already knew that,” Jeff mused.

True, she did.

“Kiss me?” she prompted.

“I haven’t brushed my teeth,” Jeff said hesitantly.

“Don’t care,” Audrey shrugged, “you didn’t kiss me last night,”

Jeff’s face looked horrified, making Audrey burst out in laughter.

“Babe, I’m so sorry,” Jeff insisted, eyes wide and serious.

Babe. Huh. She could get used to that.

“Well luckily for you, you’ve got all day to make up for it,” Audrey teased.

Jeff’s eyes lit up at that, making her laugh again, before he rolled on top of her. He looked down at her fondly, face soft in the morning light, before he leaned down to kiss her slowly, softly, sweetly, over and over again. One of Audrey’s hands reached up to slide into his messy curls, the other clutching at his waist, Jeff just moving in to lie between her thighs, making Audrey’s body stir with excitement. Yes, she could definitely get used to this.

Eventually their kisses slowed down to a final few pecks, Jeff leaning back to look down at her properly.

“Have I told you that I love you?” he asked, resting his weight on his forearms as he hovered over her.

“Not today,” she grinned.

“Well let me rectify that,” Jeff grinned back.

Audrey shrieked as Jeff pressed a flurry of kisses to her face and neck, saying I love you between every few.

6 months later

Jeff’s hand was resting on Audrey’s thigh as they drove through the familiar streets of Markham, two weeks of vacation booked for her and invitations to come home from both their families guiding the way. To be honest, Audrey was pretty excited to experience their childhood homes with this new evolution of their relationship, to see things through a different perspective, and she knew that the childhood friends that were still around were excited to see them as them too.

It was a long time coming, after all.

“My mom is thrilled that I’m bringing you home as my boyfriend for the first time,” Audrey said softly, when they were about 5 minutes away from her family home.

“She’s known me for nearly three decades…” Jeff pointed out, trailing off in confusion.

“And she’s been cheerleading us for at least half of that,” Audrey admitted.

Jeff’s face froze briefly, before it shifted into fear.

“We’re about to be ambushed by your whole family, aren’t we?” he sighed.

“Definitely. Potentially all of yours as well, if I know my mom,” Audrey smirked.

And Audrey did know her mom – she knew in her gut that the moment Audrey told her that she would be bringing Jeff by as her boyfriend, that her mom rang Jeff’s mom to organise a joint group effort. There was no way that the women weren’t going to see them both at the same time, and there was no way their siblings wouldn’t be around to say I told you so. It would be ridiculous…but it was just who their families were.

Jeff just groaned, making Audrey giggle.

“There’s still time to turn the car around you know. Say we changed our minds, hide away in a cabin somewhere for a couple of weeks?” she offered.

No amount of stress was worth losing Jeff, not now she finally had him by her side.

But Jeff anxious face split into a smile. “As much as I would love to avoid the combination of our giant families…we can’t avoid them forever,” he mused, “and besides, you’re worth it,”

Audrey didn’t think she could love him any more than she already did, but there he goes, proving her wrong.

#my writing #jeff skinner #i love childhood friends to lovers so much #and i love jeff and his cute dimples so much too #follower milestone #jeff skinner fic #jeff skinner x oc #jeff skinner fanfic #hockey writing #hockey fic #hockey fanfiction #nhl writing #nhl fic #nhl fanfiction

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alpacaparkaseok · 4 years ago

Text

Mine

3. Stalk me all you want, just bring refreshments.

Genre: Yoongi x OC

Warnings: some stalking lol

Word Count: 3.1k

We’ve made it to Paris by the time the first stalker finds me.

The past week has been spent in England popping in and out of interviews and press conferences. For the most part, it’s been pretty quiet. Granted, each interview never fails to bring up BTS, one even going so far as to pull up a quiz to see how similar I am to Suga.

I got 62%.

Sebastian demanded to take it as well. He got 43%. I still can’t tell if he was relieved or upset. Either way, things have been a little strange between us ever since that morning when he woke me up post panic attack. I can’t tell if it’s just because we’ve both got a lot of things on our minds or the fact that we’re back in civilization now, but I find myself seeking out the company of friends through phone calls and facetimes more often.

Stacey has been working nonstop to deflate the situation as much as possible. Truly, I owe her everything. She’s quick to remind me just that as I make my way to my hotel room.

“You know, this is very different from any other case I’ve had before. This fanbase is hard to get around.”

I roll my eyes even though she can’t see me from the other end of the phone. “You really have to stop referring to this as a case. It sounds like I’m some type of criminal.”

Sebastian passes me to go to his room while I fumble with my keycard. Stacey is in the middle of explaining the reasoning behind calling this a case when I finally open up the door and nearly drop the phone at the sight before me.

A girl sits on the edge of the bed, phone held up and hat low on her head. She stands up, walking over to me.

“Look who it is! Cara Richie!” For her surprised tone, I know she isn’t surprised at all. Stacey pauses on the phone as she picks up on the other voice. I remain frozen in the doorway, utterly confused. Did I get the wrong room?

Sebastian is the first one to react. “Keep your head down Car, and walk over here. Come into my room, I’ll get security.”

I do as he says, hesitating only a moment longer before turning my head down and heading down the hall. Stacey is demanding answers in my ear, but I can’t bring myself to answer her. Not as the girl is rushing out the door in an attempt to capture more footage.

“You think just because you’re a pretty face that Yoongi would be interested in you? He probably felt bad for your sorry excuse of a career and wanted to help. How do you feel about being a pity case?”

The words fling themselves at my back, but I focus on putting one step in front of the other. Sebastian is speaking quickly on the phone, motioning for me to walk faster.

“C’mon, c’mon…” He mutters under his breath, opening his door wide.

“I think you should know that this is live on Instagram. You look like a coward. Why would he like a coward like you?”

My feet refuse to move faster, my measly pace being the only thing I can manage. There’s a piece of me that really wants to turn around and give her a piece of my mind, but I know that’s the last move I should take. Not when she’s filming. Not when we’re just beginning promotions and my career is already barely hanging in there.

When I’m within arm’s reach, Sebastian grabs me and hauls me into the room. I just glimpse the dark clothing of security bursting out of the stairwell before Sebastian closes the door behind us.

“What was that?” Stacey demands to know. I watch as Sebastian scours the room, checking the bathroom and even under the covers for any unwanted visitors. Once he gives me a thumbs-up, I finally speak.

“I...I think that girl was stalking me.”

🌙

To say the least, Paris and I don’t get along well. Yes, the world-famous city of love. The irony of it all isn’t lost on me. I’m stuck in the city of love all the while trying my best to avoid crazed would-be lovers of some man I’ve only ever seen through a screen.

On the bright side, people who work for the tabloids are having a heyday. I haven’t managed to get my hands on any of the magazines they’re working for, but I do have a phone and said phone is in a constant state of buzzing and ringing.

One the down side I still have no clue how I’m supposed to make it through these promotions in one piece. A part of me hopes that BTS will step in and basically tell everyone to knock it off, but I have no way of knowing how their PR teams works. Either way, they seem to be very good at keeping things on their side very quiet while my side is barely holding the barricade.

We’re driving back from an interview when my phone rings yet again. Sebastian looks at me.

“You gonna answer that?”

Sighing, I yank my phone out of my pocket. No doubt it’s yet another nosy friend or reporter that got my number from a nosy friend.

“Oh!” I gasp. It’s an actual friend. “Bong-Cha!” I all but scream into the phone. It’s my crazy roommate from my senior year in college that convinced me to pursue another degree with her in Seoul.

“Wow, you actually sound happy to hear from me,” my friend teases.

“There’s a first time for everything. How are you?” It feels like it’s been years since we’ve last spoken.

Sebastian looks at me with a puzzled expression as I slip into Korean. I’ve never spoken it around him, but I’ve never had a reason to. In fact, it’s about time I got a call from my friend. I need to keep practicing.

“I’m...great.”

I furrow my brows as I study the Parisian streets we pass. “Are you sure about that?”

Bong-cha’s sigh carries through the phone. “Yeah, I think so. It’s just...remember when I told you before you left for the Congo that I had a really big gig coming up? Like, really big?”

The conversation we had less than a week before I left for the Congo comes back to my mind. Bong-cha and I originally went into the university to study acting. When we were both accepted to a prestigious school in Seoul she was elated and I was confused. I didn’t apply to the school. I didn’t even speak the language, why would I apply? Bong-cha took things into her own hands and filled out the application for me. It took a lot of puppy eyes and convincing, but eventually I realized that a fresh start on a new continent and even with a new language would be exactly what I needed.

The program took two years, but it only took Bong-cha six months to realize that she wanted to focus more on the music part of filming rather than the actual acting. The little punk switched programs, but we still lived together for the duration of the two years. Looking back, she made the right decision. She can weave and create a soundtrack that puts people under a spell. She even helped with the soundtrack for one of my very first indie flicks.

Thanks to her I had something of an advantage going into the world of cinema with both American and Korean acting experience. But the best part of it all was the building up a friendship that will last for decades.

“Yeah,” I come out of my walk down memory lane. Paris somehow makes me nostalgic. “What happened with that? How did it go?”

“Well, it went well...it wasn’t exactly for a movie, though.”

“What was it for, then?” I can sense the hesitation in her tone and urge her forward. “Are you releasing a mixtape or something?” We both chuckle at the notion.

“No, not that. Although I would take the world by storm if I decided to drop a mixtape. It would be pure genius.”

“Yeah, yeah. What was it for? Now you’ve made me curious.”

Another sigh. “I was working on a comeback trailer for BTS.”

My heart stutters for a moment. “You- you what?”

“I know, and I should have told you all of this-”

“Daebak!” I shout into the car, Sebastian jumping a little at my sudden exclamation. “That’s so cool, Bong-cha! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me before!”

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, it is amazing, isn’t it? They’re kind of going for this intense dystopian feel and somebody recommended me to them because they’d seen ‘True Lies’, isn’t that great? I still can’t believe it.”

Bong-cha deserves every ounce of credit that comes her way, I couldn’t be happier for her. Then I remember my current situation, and the questions I’m dying to ask her are all jumping for attention. I bite them down, reminding myself that this isn’t about me.

“I told you that the soundtrack for ‘True Lies’ was perfect, didn’t I? See, you should listen to me more often.”

A half-hearted chuckle from the other end of the phone. “I guess I should. But Cara, that’s not the only reason I called. I think I may have screwed something up.”

If my heart keeps stuttering I may die. Trying not to jump to any conclusions, I struggle to keep the apprehension out of my voice. “Ok...what happened?”

“Well...I worked a lot with all the boys, they’re very hands on in the whole process.”

“Ok.”

“I especially worked a lot with Suga because he’s very talented at producing music and all that, so he had a lot of say in the overall vibe and feel of the piece. Anyways, as you can imagine, we had to spend a lot of time together and we actually became pretty good friends...”

A yellow bike is being parked in a bike rack painted with red flowers and vines. It’s outside of the kind of cafe you only see in movies, and a young woman sits by the window with a book in hand. She’s lost in thought, no longer looking down at her book but instead watching the cars as they pass by. One hand rests idly around her drink which is still full. We make eye contact for a single second before I speed by, and I know that I’ll never see her again but I can’t help but wish I was her.

If I were her I could sit there calmly, not worried about much except for not spilling my drink on my novel. I would admire the yellow bike in the rack, and think up bike routes that I could enjoy. I would pack my book in the little basket between the handlebars and I would wait for a sunny day to go out and read.

Just my bike, book, and me.

Jumping a little as we pass over a speed bump I’m ripped from my alternate reality and drink in the words that Bong-cha speaks as delicately as possible.

“...we talked a lot, and eventually I started talking about my friends. You know, pretty normal, isn’t it? Everyone talks about their best friends. I mentioned you, of course. Explained how we lived together for however long, like what, four years? Two in the states and two in Seoul? Anyways, I was going on about you because ‘Under Nine’ has been so huge and it’s like you finally had your big break.”

Coaxing my jaw to move from its stiff position, I form a sentence. “Bong-cha, just tell me.”

There’s a two second pause before she dives back in. “He’d seen the film, said that you seemed cool. And I just started thinking about it and I thought that you two would be so cute together. And he just seems...lonely. Is that weird? And you’re always so stressed with trying to find the next big project so I just talked you up but...I- I didn’t tell him to date you or anything, I swear! I just said that you two should be friends. That’s all, I swear.”

Somehow the spike in heart rate I was expecting never comes. Instead, I almost feel more at ease. At least I’m starting to understand how this got started. It all seemed too disconnected before, like he just picked my name out of a hat and decided to have some fun with it.

“So...do you know why he said those things in the interview? Because that wasn’t exactly a call for friendship. At least, if that’s how he meant it, he failed. Big time. And now I’m paying the price.”

I can’t keep the bite out of my voice toward the end, and Sebastian doesn’t need to be fluent in the language to understand that tone.

‘You ok?’ he mouths. I nod and roll my neck in an attempt to relax. I don’t want Bong-cha to think that I’m mad at her. If anything, I’m flattered that she even thought to act as a sponsor for me to one of the most famous rappers in the world, however misguided her intentions.

“I know. I know, trust me, I talked to him about it.”

I wasn’t expecting that. They must be pretty good friends if Bong-cha feels comfortable calling him out on this. “You did?”

She chuckles. “I know, shocking. I just feel partially responsible for all of this. Then when I saw that video in your hotel room-”

“Wait, you saw that? I thought they were able to take that down in time.”

“Well, it was live when she was filming it. So she had to stop the filming but it was already out in the world. If it makes you feel any better, most people feel bad for you. You reacted really well in the video. Didn’t even say anything. Yoongi felt horrible when-”

“Hold up, hold up.” The words tumble from my mouth before she can continue. “You’re telling me that he actually saw that? And you talked to him about all of this? What is he saying?”

“I would tell you if you would quit interrupting me.”

“Sorry.” A hint of a smile tugs at my lips, the head strong Bong-cha I know so well reappearing.

“Anyways, as I was saying he felt horrible once he saw the video. Obviously we knew that it was probably a little crazy for you, especially with interviews and stuff. But I think even the guys were surprised to hear about you having stalkers and stuff.”

“The guys as in…”

“As in the guys. Jin and Jimin and-”

“Yeah. Yep. Got it.” I’m not sure whether I should laugh or cry, so I settle for shock.

“I talked to Yoongi about it, though. They all feel horrible about it, really. I guess after I talked about you so much he got curious and started doing some research and trying to figure out who you were. You know, kind of like friend shopping.”

“Is that a thing?”

“Sure, when you’re that crazy famous it is. You have to make sure the person you want to befriend isn’t some psycho in disguise.”

I snort. “I am a psycho, though. I don’t even try to hide it.”

Bong-cha chuckles, in full agreement with me. “Trust me, I know. But I don’t know, maybe he thinks it’s endearing? I mean, look at his closest friends. Compared to the rest of the members, you’re pretty tame. They’re all nuts.”

Just from the way Bong-cha speaks about the band I can tell that she really loved spending her time working with them. It would appear they all became fast friends. I can’t say that surprises me; she’s always had a knack for making friends.

“Alright, if you say so.”

“Anyways, I guess the guys were just giving him a hard time because he was always watching your stuff. Everyone took it too far in that interview. I mean, honestly speaking, I think they want him to get a girlfriend as badly as I do, but,” she keeps chattering away as she senses my impending interruption, “they realize that this wasn’t the best way to go about everything. Trust me when I say that their agency practically skinned them alive when the interview went viral.”

I suppose it makes sense to a certain point, but there’s still one outlier in all this information. If this is purely just an innocent mistake, then why on earth would Yoongi fan the flame by inviting us to the film festival in Seoul? And publicly RSVP?

I ask Bong-cha as much, the skepticism thick in my voice. “I just don’t get it, I guess.”

Bong-cha curses on the other side, and I can practically see her rolling her eyes. “That is precisely why all of the boys have basically been in time out for the past couple of weeks. Remember when I said that the other boys want Yoongi to get moving as much as I do?”

“Yeah? I don’t follow…”

Bong-cha laughs at the situation, the sound of it only worrying me more. “That wasn’t Yoongi that invited you guys and RSVPd.”

I nearly choke at the new information. The anger I feel is red-hot. Somebody really is trying to sabotage my career, aren��t they? “W-who? Who would do that? Why haven’t they said anything about that? Clearly someone is trying to ruin my career, and possibly his as well. Wouldn’t BigHit do someth-”

“Hey! Listen to me you psycho!” Bong-cha yells through the phone, barely able to get me to shut up for more than two seconds. “Are you even listening to me at all? I just said that the others are pushing for you and Yoongi, too. Nobody is trying to destroy your career.” She pauses, and for once I don’t interrupt her. Instead I wait with bated breath for her to continue. “You should have seen Yoongi’s face when Jin told him what he did.”

Jin? Kim Seokjin? What did he do?

“What do you mean? What did Jin do?”

A sigh of long-suffering. “He’s the one that invited you guys. And made sure Yoongi would have to be there to face you by publicly RSVPing him. Got it?”

“Why would he do that?” I ask myself the question more than anything. Bong-cha still responds though, the smirk evident in her tone.

“You’ll just have to ask him in person when you get here, won’t you? Make sure you save me a seat. I want to be there for this.”

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vs-redemption · 4 years ago

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hi there! could i request an aizawa x female reader oneshot? if you're willing to do angst, could it be him getting jealous when they go out for drinks with a group of friends :o

Ok, so I’m hoping this is angsty enough. I’m still getting used to writing in that style. Also, thank you so much for the request. I wasn’t sure about writing for Aizawa at first, but it was easier to get into his mindset than I thought it would be!

My requests are still open for anyone who is interested. Please check out my rules and masterlist!

A Big Deal:Part One (Jealous!Aizawa x Fem!Reader)

You can find Part Two of this story Here!

Today was kind of a big deal for you. After months of grueling effort and countless hours of overtime, you’d finally been acknowledged by your boss and given a huge promotion in your company. You’d been awarded a new title along with a generous pay raise, effective immediately. In addition to those perks, your new job responsibilities would allow you to finally use the degree you’d put yourself through college to obtain. It was really great news, and you were over the moon with excitement. A few of your colleagues suggested a night out to celebrate the career advancement. You were quick to agree. It was a Friday evening and you saw no reason not to make the most of this incredible day. You sent out a quick text message to invite your boyfriend and a few of your close friends to join in the festivities.

Today was kind of a big deal for Shota Aizawa too. He had always been a bit wary of relationships, both romantic and otherwise. He was a bit of an introvert and socializing often wore him down. He had a couple close friends that had forced their way into his life during high school and that had honestly been enough for him. He had been content to be mostly on his own until he met you and his outlook changed. You were hardworking, which he admired, and he’d noticed right away that you always gave him his space even though you were more outgoing than he was. You never forced him to attend big group outings or gave him a hard time when he was just too tired from work to do anything else besides get take out and have a quiet night in for date night. He appreciated the comfort and peacefulness you brought to his life, which is why he was actually quite excited that today was your one year anniversary together.

Aizawa wasn’t much for big extravagant gestures, but thought it might be nice to invite you over for a nice dinner when you finished work. He managed to get out of his teaching duties a little early so that he could pick up what he needed from the grocery store and get the cooking started. He had a nice evening with just the two of you in mind, so it came as a bit of a shock when he got your text message. He sighs and looks around his kitchen at all the half prepared food. Normally he would decline such an invitation, though he always appreciated you thinking to include him, but this was not a usual circumstance. He knew how hard you worked and was happy to hear that you were finally being recognized for everything you did. He takes out some containers and starts packing up the food, knowing he could always finish cooking it tomorrow.

The Izakaya restaurant where you were having your celebration was already packed with people since it was a Friday, but you’d somehow managed to book a decent sized table. The first round of drinks had been brought out and everyone was calling for you to make a speech. It wasn’t until they started bringing out the food that Aizawa finally arrived.

“Hey! Eraserhead!” Present Mic calls him over from the far end of the table. “You actually showed up! Come over here! I’ll order you a drink!” Aizawa glanced over at you but you were deep in conversation with two of your coworkers. He would have preferred to sit with you, but could settle for attaching himself to Mic since he didn’t know anyone else that well.

“Let’s have another round on me!” one of your coworkers calls to the wait staff. You laugh and nudge his arm with your shoulder.

“Idiot. We paid for ‘all-you-can-drink’!” You give him a teasing grin, “No matter what, we’re all going to be paying the same amount!”

“Aw, come on!” Another one of your male coworkers leans across the table, “You know we’re not letting you anywhere near tonight’s bill! You’ve been working so hard for this day, so let us treat you!”

“You make a good point,” You nod while lifting your glass. “And I’m not one to turn down free drinks!” They all laugh as the waiter disappears to go prepare another round for the table. Aizawa’s eyes linger on the two male coworkers for a moment before turning back to Present Mic.

“I guess she has a pretty good relationship with her coworkers,” he says flatly.

“Yeah! Definitely!” Present Mic declares with a wide grin, “I’ve met them a few times before. They’re fun dudes!”

“Hmm,” Aizawa found himself wondering if those guys knew you had a boyfriend. He trusted that there wasn’t anything deceitful going on, but it was weird for him to see you so open and relaxed around people who were strangers to him. He’d never really thought about what exactly happened when you were out at work parties. Perhaps this was normal. Still, he kept an eye on the people around you as the food and drinks continued to come.

“Shota,” you shuffle over to your boyfriend once last orders had been taken and the rambunctious group was kindly asked to leave the restaurant. “Thank you for coming! You usually don’t.” The words, though said with a lazy smile, struck Aizawa with a pang of guilt. You’d never forced him to go out, but perhaps you’d always wished he would.

“This was a special occasion,” he says while you both head out into the cool night air with everyone else. They were all mingling outside the restaurant, waiting to see what happened next. “You deserved that promotion, and I’m very proud of you.” He wanted to tell you that he’d also come to this party to spend time with you since it was your anniversary, but decided not to ruin your good mood by mentioning it. Perhaps he didn’t deserve to celebrate the milestone in your relationship anyway if letting you go out to these little get-togethers without him made him a bad boyfriend.

“Who’s up for Karaoke?” Present Mic throws his hands into the air, attracting the attention of other drunk groups meandering the streets nearby. A few people declined the offer, saying they needed to catch a taxi home, but a handful of others seemed enthusiastic about continuing the festivities of the night.

“Well we know you’re coming!” One of the coworkers from before slides up next to you and throws an arm around your shoulders. “This party is for you after all!”

“Of course!” You agree before turning to Aizawa. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to. I know it’s not your thing.”

Aizawa stared blankly at the arm around you that was not his own. He was tired from work, he hated parties, and a night of karaoke was literally his worst nightmare. Were the things he hated the same things that made you happy? It made him wonder why you were even dating him in the first place. Maybe there was a reason why you hadn’t mentioned your one year anniversary, and perhaps this relationship meant something different to each of you. Even if that was true, could he really let you go off to spend the rest of your one year anniversary with a bunch of other guys?

“Hey, come on!” another one of your coworkers comes over and playfully shoves you in the direction of the karaoke bar. “You’re burning moonlight! Don’t think you’re getting out of doing a duet with me like the last time!” You can’t help but giggle at his antics.

Aizawa glared at the men who could not seem to keep their hands to themselves. Part of him wanted to whip out his scarf and knock them on their asses, but another part of him envied their closeness with you. They got to see you all day, every day. Did they know you better than he did? It made him feel ashamed somehow.

“OK! Ok!” You swat your coworkers away so you could focus on your boyfriend. “No pressure, babe!” You tell him, “I won’t be mad if you want to get home and get to bed.” Aizawa was second guessing everything now. Normally he took your words as kindness and understanding, but now he was wondering if it was a dismissal. It made sense if you didn’t want him to come. There was no way he’d join in the singing so he’d just be dragging the mood down by coming and lurking in the corner. It was better for you if he stayed behind.

“Yeah,” he shrugs, “I guess I’m going to call it a night.” He watches your face for signs that he’d made the right choice. Would you be happy that you were finally rid of him for the evening, or disappointed that he wasn’t as fun and outgoing as your coworkers? It was hard to judge your reaction.

“All right,” you tell him. “Go ahead and get some sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” You lean forward to give him a peck on the cheek before finally heading off towards your next stop of the night. Aizawa was left to watch you go off with a group of people he knew could make you happier than he ever could.

#aizawa x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #writing requests #bnha #mha #shouta aizawa #shouta aizawa x reader #Cindy's Writing

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jess-rewatches-prodigalson · 4 years ago

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Bad Manners (S2, E5)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:35 - Martin totally thought John Watkins abducted and killed Ainsley. Mark my words.

0:44 - Holy. Shit. Ainsley is FIVE years old (or younger) here right? A five year old with that much determination?!?! She literally stayed silent in that clock for probably hours......and no one was concerned about this kid when Martin was arrested because...?

1:09 - Anyone else impressed with Malcolm’s aim here? Just me?

1:20 - Gil and Malcolm talking about sleep and murder is so freaking sweet. <3 Honestly, they’re acting like friends instead of co-workers and it warms my cold dead heart.

1:29 - Does Gil become a grumpy old man when he doesn’t get 8 hours sleep? I really want to know now.

1:39 - OMG. Gil pointing at Ainsley here is hilarious. He’s totally acting like some weird mix of a stern pissed off high-school teacher, and a step-dad trying to discipline an unruly teen. hahaha AND MALCOLM’S FACE. Look how done Malcolm is. He looks so so tired, sad, and exasperated.

1:44 - Wow. Girl power. Ainsley has those camera guys bending to her will. I honestly would’ve thought they would just read the situation and turn the camera off themselves.

1:47 - “It’s not a game.” Yikes. I have thoughts about this:

Malcolm is right - it’s not a game.

Malcolm is a bit of a hypocrite for saying that to Ainsley. Although, to his credit even when Malcolm is excited/inappropriately happy about murder it’s always pretty clear that he thinks murder is wrong, and that he has sympathy for the victims and their families.

Ainsley does not have that same sympathy for the victims. That much is clear later in this episode.

Pretty sure the writers are trying to turn Ainsley into a serial killer this season.

2:13 - “You know I like to share these things with my friends.” .....does this mean Malcolm thinks Dani and JT are his friends now? Last I checked (Ep 1x05) Malcolm didn’t have friends. This absolutely melts my heart. <3 I’m honestly so happy that Malcolm considers someone other than Gil to be his friend.

2:18 - “We lost Dani to vice.” .....What is vice? AND WHAT IS THE REAL LIFE REASON THAT DANI WASN’T IN THIS EPISODE?!?

2:19 - Edrisa has a medical degree right? She has to know how dangerous consuming that much caffeine is right? Plus aren’t energy drinks super dangerous if you drink a lot of them (or maybe that’s just what adults in my neighbourhood told kids)?

2:30 - Edrisa SHINES in this episode. She’s so funny and awkward and I just love her.

2:36 - hahaha Gil has adopted the whole team. Look at him throwing the “Dad warning stare” at Edrisa.

3:31 - Why does Edrisa start bouncing around looking upset when Malcolm says, “rejection is a powerful motivator”?!?! Has she recently been broken up with or something? Is this a reference to how she has a crush on Malcolm (who doesn’t reciprocate)? I WANT MORE INFORMATION.

3:47 - TWIZZLERS!!! <3 Damn I love how this tiny detail about Malcolm’s character keeps coming up.

3:55 - Ainsley is on a rampage this episode. She’s so determined ...actually she’s acting a lot like Jessica (think girl in the box bracelet). However, unlike Jessica, Ainsley’s motives aren’t about justice or the safety of her loved ones. Ainsley is chasing personal gain (career) with a side of (a subconscious?) need to be exposed to murder and her father’s twisted world.

4:05 - This whole interaction between Ainsley and Malcolm is really interesting. Ainsley is knowingly manipulating Malcolm to get the answers she wants. We’ve seen her do it in 2x4 and 1x19. She knows her big brother would do anything for her. It makes sense, they’re five years apart and after the trauma they experienced as children Malcolm felt responsible to protect Ainsley. He never wants to disappoint Ainsley. Not a burden he should’ve had to deal with but I digress. PLUS Malcolm looks weary of Ainsley here. He knows what she’s doing. He’s scared that she’s turning to the dark side. But he still gives her the answers because if he doesn’t - that means something has changed. He thinks that would make Ainsley suspicious and then she might remember what happened to Endicott. He’s scared of and for Ainsley.

4:32 - OKAY. I’ll say it. The thing that annoys me the most about this episode is that it suggests that Ainsley was a debutant when in 1x6 AINSLEY TELLS MARTIN SHE WAS NEVER A DEBUTANT. She went to etiquette school - I guess that doesn’t strictly mean she also did debutant balls but it sort of suggests it in the context of this episode? Did she actually graduate from the etiquette school (there was bullying, maybe she was expelled/dropped out similar to Malcolm and Remington?)?

4:59 - “No stabbies” OMG. How is this show not classified as a comedy?!? Istg I laugh harder watching this ‘drama’ then I do watching most of the shows that call themselves ‘comedies’.

5:35 - It’s honestly kind of amazing that Ainsley and Malcolm are as ‘sane’ as they are. They were raised by a stubborn predatory psychopath and a stubborn rich meddling socialite. They had no chance of normalcy. Look at the amount of pleasure Martin is currently getting by throwing his son under the bus with regards to Jessica.

5:45 - “No actually, I cleaned it up.”.....does this have a dual meaning? Did Martin do something to make Malcolm dispose of the body? We already know that Martin has tried some sort of conditioning on Malcolm (remember ‘C’mon boy!’ from 1x14? The stabbing?). What if Martin said some sort of trigger word to control Malcolm and coerced Malcolm into getting rid of the body? What if this isn’t the first time?

6:05 - Ainsley is a sociopath. I’m calling it again. I called it when I first watched Q&A (1x7) because the way she treated Malcolm was more than just selfish/careless. It was cruel and she didn’t feel any remorse for literally broadcasting her brother’s private health details on television. That is messed up. I honestly won’t be shocked if the writers make Ainsley a full blown serial killers (although I’m not sure I want that because I don’t know how Malcolm would remain the main character if the story goes in that direction?).

6:12 - Poor Jessica. I honestly feel really bad for her. Sure, she’s a headstrong alcohol dependant crazy rich woman. She also has a good heart. She’s been dealt a pretty shitty hand when it comes to relationships (minus Gil but she ruined that because she’s a MORON) and now she’s terrified that her own children have become monsters and she blames herself. She definitely hasn’t been a perfect mother but I don’t think she’s to blame for Ainsley and Malcolm’s obsession with murder. If these kids had a different bio dad, they would probably just have a low-key drug problem or some other common rich kid baggage.

6:15 - “You know that’s not how cancer works right?” LOL. hahahaha

6:33 - Martin kind of has a point. There’s no rehab for murder. That’s why he’s been in jail for 20 years and he still wants to kill people. In my opinion, given what we’ve seen of Ainsley’s personality: as soon as she fully remembers that night - she’s gone. She’ll go full serial killer and Jessica and Malcolm will lose her forever.

6:40 - Jessica’s little jazz hand finger twinkle as she spins on her heel and leaves Martin kills me. It’s so extra. It’s so funny. And it’s sooo Jessica.

6:47 - Damn. Martin is pissed. I’m worried. That’s murder-level rage. If he escapes ISTG Martin is going to try and kill Gil. For so many reasons 1) because he hates Gil, 2) it’ll hurt Jessica, and 3) killing Gil will eliminate his ‘Dad’ competition.

6:54 - Edrisa on caffeine is AMAZING.

7:43 - I love Edrisa but her blatant, unreciprocated crush on Malcolm is honestly getting a little creepy.

7:52 - Gil spent all last season drinking out of a Yankee’s mug. Doesn’t that mean he’s a baseball fan? Why doesn’t he know this pitcher guy?

7:56 - hahahaa “Where is JT?” Because obviously JT is the team sports fan.

8:22 - Does Gil get nightmares about cases? He always seems really uncomfortable around the dead bodies.

8:45 - “And suddenly I’m wide awake” SERIOUSLY - is anyone else laughing every 60 seconds when they watch this show? Is my sense of humour just super dark and messed up?

8:54 - YES. The liquorice is BACK.

9:00 - I love Malcolm talking to JT about his obsession with candy. I love how Malcolm doesn’t even hesitate before giving JT an honest answer. Malcolm is acting like JT’s annoying little brother and I am here for it. One thing I did notice though - Malcolm specifically mentions candy+dopamine but doesn’t mention his depression/anxiety. Processed sugar can be a short-term (unhealthy) way to boost your mood. It’s why some people eat their feelings. I really want more backstory about Malcolm with the lollipops and licorice though.

9:19 - “But you didn’t do anything wrong.” Awwww Malcolm is so soft here. I love how much he genuinely cares about JT. <3 I love how JT is comfortable enough with Malcolm to give him an honest answer. <3 THEIR RELATIONSHIP HAS GONE THROUGH SUCH A GLOW UP. <3

9:32 - “Like toy dolls?” hahaha the way Malcolm perked up here. All I could think was “SQUIRREL!” hahaha.

9:41 - Malcolm is doing better than he has been the past few episodes? I mean he’s still suffering and he’s still in a terrible mental state. BUT he also seems happier? IDK maybe he’s just entered the more manic nervous energy stage of his emotions as opposed to the depressed and scared stage.

9:49 - “Deep childhood trauma”. So we’re looking for a debutant killer with childhood trauma who is chasing perfection? Debutant = rich lady culture. Like Ainsley. AND Ainsley went to the same etiquette school as the first two victims. The writer’s wanted us to assume the killer was Ainsley for the first 15 mins of this episode right? I’m not the only one seeing it?

10:04 - “My sister went there too.” ....why is there something super attractive about the way that line was delivered?

10:08 - I’m so done with this absolute tom foolery. Why does the team keep splitting up into two teams - where one team is JUST MALCOLM. The one who is unarmed and technically a civilian?!? This makes no logical sense to me (except for plot).

10:25 - Was Martin just about to say, “Just like the old days”?!? Is Martin referring to Endicott? OR is Martin referring to something that Malcolm’s repressed from his childhood?

10:30 - “I always root for the bad guys.” .....finally some truth from Martin.

10:40 - Soooooo I guess Mr. David doesn’t know? I promise you Mr. David has suspicions though. How could he not?!?!

11:24 - “It was brutal for Ains.” Look at how sad Malcolm is! Ugh. This hurts so much. He clearly loves his sister so so much and what she’s done is slowly killing him. I honestly think that part of the reason Malcolm helped Ainsley dispose of the body is that Malcolm doesn’t want to loose his sister. His sister is one of the only good things he’s always been able to count on. If word gets around that she’s a killer - Malcolm’s fragile world gets shattered a little more and I don’t know if Malcolm can recover mentally from that.

11:36 - “Teasing made her capable of...stuff.” C’MON. There’s no way Mr. David doesn’t know.

11:45 - Sooo is Martin saying that he recognized that Ainsley was a sociopath when she was a small child? Or did she just respond to his (or John Watkins’) grooming much ‘better’ than Malcolm?

11:56 - “Because she’s her mother’s” Okay. So I see the point. I can see that Ainsley is driven and stubborn like Jessica. BUT it feels like Martin is suggesting that Jessica is capable of murder? Which - I honestly don’t think she is. If anything - Malcolm is more like Jessica than Ainsley is.

11:59 - There was a look in Martin’s eyes when he was comparing Ainsley to Jessica that really freaked me out. I can’t figure out why. It makes me wonder if Martin still somehow views Jessica as ‘his possession’ (he refers to her as his wife all the time but I always assumed that was just to get a rise out of people?). Martin’s dream from 2x4 certainly suggests that he still wants Jessica romantically. I honestly think he’s going to try to escape and rekindle the romance with Jess; and it’s going to go very poorly when Jessica rejects him.

12:06 - Preach JT. Preach. This is creepy af.

13:00 - Ugh. Of course this creep has a history of indecent exposure. Now I understand why Gil and JT were hostile with the dude right from the start.

13:12 - Man. People will use the Bible to justify anything. No wonder people hate Christians ( I say this as a practicing Christian).

13:18 - JT is such a good dude. I’m so glad he’s a dad now. <3 He’s going to be such a good one. <3

13:26 - “One phone call and this place will be shut down.” OH SHIT. GIL THAT IS VICIOUS AND I RESPECT THE SHIT OUT OF IT.

13:35 - I soooo thought that dude was going to sprint out of that room.

14:30 - THIS. YES. This is why I have a problem with Ainsley’s enthusiasm for murder vs. Malcolm’s. Ainsley’s enthusiasm is centred on her nee to ‘get the story’. She’s obsessed with forwarding her career and as a result she’s treating crime like a competitive sport. Malcolm’s obsession (while it can border on creepy and reckless) is always centred on his need to find the killer and stop the murders. Malcolm is seeking justice and his heart is in the right place. I can’t say the same for Ainsley.

14:31 - “We’re brother and sister, everything is a competitive sport”.....whoever wrote this doesn’t have a sibling they experienced trauma with as a kid (and as a result was raised by a single parent). Seriously, my dad was abusive he lived with us until I was 10 and my brother was 7. Then my parents got divorced and my mom was a single parent (he didn’t pay child support or see his kids after the divorce). Are my brother and I competitive? Sure sometimes. But the way we grew up forced us to become partners. Annoyed with Mom? Let’s rant about it together. Is he struggling in math? I’ll tutor him in exchange for a Reese cup. Am I struggling at daycare because I have massive social anxiety? He’ll include me in whatever he’s doing so I’m not sitting alone in a corner. My point: siblings who experience trauma together don’t have the typical sibling relationships that are widely televised in North America. There’s a lot less fighting and competition and a lot more teaming up and commiserating.

14:39 - “It. It’s terrible.” - Notice how Ainsley didn’t actually say how it made her feel? She gave the standard “TV response” to a murder “a terrible/horrific/tragedy has occurred”. She doesn’t feel bad that these women are dead. She’s too consumed with getting a story to even stop and let herself feel anything. I’ve been saying it since last season - the way Ainsley shows no regard for other people and their feelings when she’s obsessed with her job is concerning.

14:50 - “Remind me of the people who cut us off after Dad’s arrest.” ...Are you kidding me?!? The whole fandom has been speculating about this since early season one and they’re not going to elaborate on that line?!? I’m going to need some more information about this and it better be in the upcoming episode where Jessica’s younger sister appears.

15:40 - She thinks of her students as family? Sooo what does she think of Ainsley? Wasn’t Ainsley bullied at this school? Did she do anything about it?

16:00 - this is like a ‘weekend/evening school’ right? Kids aren’t living in this house like a boarding school/summer camp?

16:01 - “Mr. Whitly” UGH. This bitch preaches etiquette and she doesn’t even have the common courtesy to call Malcolm by the name with which he introduced himself? Nah. I don’t like her.

16:13 - Ugh. Ainsley, seriously? Why don’t you help your brother solve the case. AND PREVENT MORE MURDERS. Why are you indirectly but purposely obstructing justice?

16:37 - “Of course.” Huh. Do you think Martin might try and manipulate Ainsley into killing Malcolm? Ainsley definitely capable of it. She doesn’t actually seem to care about Malcolm nearly as much as he cares about her.

17:17 - WTF?!? That’s creepy af. How did no one in this show think this assistant was a suspect? She has a super creepy doll that she ‘forgot’ on the floor the middle of a hallway. AND THE DOLL WAS STANDING UP. Not sitting, not dropped carelessly, STANDING UP.

17:30 - Look at Malcolm’s face. He’s definitely going to be having nightmares about that doll.

18:25 - OMG. This was amazing. JT just totally bulldozed his way into catching that dude. Very badass. Also kind of funny (maybe that’s just my messed up sense of humour again?).

18:44 - Ugh. This dude has a thing for dolls. I don’t want to kink shame but - no. no. There’s something really gross about that.

18:48 - I’ve seen some people say that this doll looks like Ainsley and how that’s supposed to be some sort of foreshadowing/symbolism. I kind of see it? I mean the hair colour is similar and if you pause the screen at 18:48 the angle kind of looks like Ainsley? It would be an interesting metaphor though - Ainsley played with dolls as a little girl. John Watkins gave her angel statues. She is Watkins’ and Martin’s doll’ in the sense that she was the object that murders manipulated/groomed.

18:53 - Then again, pause the screen here and there’s something about the facial structure that looks like Dani to me.

19:00 - Jessica lets Ainsley work in the murder office?!? No. No she doesn’t. This is garbage. Jessica would’ve forbade it. Jessica would’ve bordered up this room immediately after Watkins.

19:57 - Poor Jessica. She’s clearly terrified that she’s losing Ainsley and terrified of Ainsley. BUT Jess, sweetie, running to Europe won’t fix this.

20:16 - “She wanted the dolls to look like her students.” AND PEOPLE SEND THEIR CHILDREN TO HER?!? WTF?!? NO. NO. NO. NOT OKAY.

20:31 - HAHA look at Gil’s face when Trevor tells him he can make the ‘perfect woman’. Gil’s like WTF - can I arrest you for thinking you can fabricate a ‘perfect woman’?!!?

21:06 - Malcolm is having so much fun playing with Trevor’s doll head. Look at how excited he is. It’s kind of adorable but his manic energy is showing which is concerning.

21:10 - Why is Trevor giving his doll fancy 1940s(ish) names?

21:31 - Props to LDP. I honestly believed Gil was annoyed with Malcolm for barging in on the interrogation the first time I watched this.

21:42 - “They got a word for everything.” hahaha OMG. This is so reminiscent of a teenager explaining some new tech to their tech-illiterate parents.

22:00 - I can’t tell if Gil feels sorry for this creep or if he just thinks the dude is really gross. Probably a mixture.

23:00 - Oh we’re bringing up the chloroform again. At least Malcolm knows not listen to Martin about this nonsense.

23:25 - “It doesn’t feel fun.” - THIS. This is why I honestly don’t think Malcolm will ever become a serial killer. His guilt complex is just too big.

23:56 - Are. You. Kidding. Me? This is next level. Ainsley is so out of line here. AND SHE SHOWS NO REMORSE. SHE DOESN’T THINK SHE’S DONE ANYTHING WRONG. THIS GIRL HAS GONE DARK SIDE (she was already halfway there).

24:17 - I’m getting papa!Gil vibes when Gil is talking to Ainsley and I want more scenes of them interacting. Seriously, did Gil have a relationship with Ainsley when she was a kid? I MUST KNOW.

24:45 - Ainsley has no conscience. I honestly don’t think Ainsley has a conscience.

25:00 - “Who is that!?” Malcolm is totally acting like he’s Ainsley’s father-figure right now. I’m here for it.

25:22 - SORE LOSERS?!? I’m sorry. What? If you weren’t concerned about Ainsley you damn well should be now. That is seriously messed up. People are dead. This is not a game. Do you know who else thought murder was a game? Martin Whitly.

25:31 - Okay. Ainsley has a point. Malcolm lecturing anyone about being reckless is pretty hypocritical. But at least Malcolm cares about her.

25:54 - Heart. Shattered. Look at how terrified Jessica is. Look at how gentle and reassuring Gil is. UGh. WHY DID SHE BREAK UP WITH HIM??! I mean, I know why I just think she’s a moron for doing it.

26:00 - Poor Gil. He’s so confused and so concerned. The whole Whitly family is acting crazier then usual and he doesn’t know why.

26:11 - “Both you and Malcolm are at an 11 and I’ve never seen Ainsley like that.” FIND YOURSELF A MAN WHO CARES LIKE GIL AND NEVER LET HIM GO. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Seriously. The love and concern he shows for this family warms my cold dead heart.

26:16 - “Her father?!” Oh shit. Now Gil knows there’s something BIG happening. Jessica would never run to Martin unless she absolutely had to.

26:19 - annnnd Gil’s also being a prideful man who’s feeling are hurt. “You went to him?” He’s right to be though - the woman he loves went to a serial killer for advice before going to the guy who practically co-parented with her.

26:33 - “I’m here. Whatever you need. I’m here.” <3 <3 Gil is the definition of a good man. <3 I’m in love with it.

26:48 - “You were right on time for me.” ....*snort* subtle Gil (and in front of JT!!)

27:08 - Edrisa is hysterical on caffeine. hahaha. This whole scene is perfect.

27:20 - You know someone is acting manic when Malcolm Bright is concerned about their eccentric behaviour.

27:34 - Annnnnd Tom Payne was a split second from breaking character here. I don’t blame him. hahaha

28:05 - EDRISA flipping and dropping that pencil. HAHAHAHAHAHA

29:10 - “Absolutely not.” hahaha this is funny but also really sweet. Malcolm knows that Edrisa hopped up on caffeine isn’t safe to have near an active killer. Who knows what’ll happen. I wish he’d care that much about his own well being. Looks like calling for backup last episode was a one time thing.

30:37 - I’ll give the writers one thing - Miss Windsor makes a convincing murder suspect.

31:22 - GIL. STANDING. UP. FOR. JT. IS. EVERYTHING. Where is O’Malley’s back up? Oh yeah, they’re not brave enough to defend him.

32:00 - Huh. Bright texted for backup. This is growth. I’m proud of him.

32:15 - YES. This JT arc was handled right. Sure JT could’ve complained. It would’ve been episodes upon episodes of bureaucratic nightmares and injustice. This show isn’t about racism. They showed enough to portray that the system is broken and they had JT act like a responsible adult. It’s not fair that JT had to go through this or that he’ll likely experience something similar to it again. But the fact that JT is acting like a bigger person is perfect. JT will protect his family. Always. That includes Malcolm. So JT avoids putting through a formal complaint because he knows that will take time away from doing his job, from protecting others, from hanging out with his wife and kid. JT’s taking the higher road, it might not be gratifying or fair but I respect the hell out of him for taking it.

32:28 - Gil is so so proud of JT. Look at him. <3 <3

33:40 - Look, Miss Windsor is a bit of a stuck up bitch but she has a good heart. Look at the way she immediately tells Malcolm where Ainsley is when she realizes what’s happening.

34:14 - This confused me during the first watch - Ainsley obviously didn’t drink any tea - so why is she drugged? (obviously I know now).

34:17 - Big brother Malcolm frantically looking for Ainsley is so so sweet. <3

35:42 - The music, the dolls, and Miss Windsor’s speech here. There’s something about this part of the episode that is strangely reminiscent of 5x16 of Criminal Minds.

36:20 - ......does Miss Windsor have some sort of mental illness? She’s talking to herself and ranting erratically. Is this just emotional stress or something deeper?

37:00 - This is why Malcolm’s not a serial killer. Even now- looking at a killer - he’s trying to sympathize with her. He’s trying to understand why. He’s trying to calm her down, diffuse the threat, and get her mental help.

39:00 - Oh yeah. Ainsley was definitely going to kill without remorse. Again. I’ve seen some theories that Ainsley only ever tries to kill to protect Malcolm. I disagree. I think Ainsley’s trying to protect herself. Ainsley is pissed off that this girl tried to drug her and kill her because she thinks Ainsley is wicked. Ainsley was pissed at Endicott for whatever he did to Ainsley before Malcolm got there. I think Ainsley felt threatened and scared so she reacted. I don’t think this has anything to do with protecting Malcolm.

39:41 - Malcolm isn’t a killer. Look. He smells gas but he takes the time to carry an unconscious murderer (who literally just tried to kill his sister) out of the building.

40:00 - The drama. Holy hell. What a weird ending to this case.

40:48 - Who gave Ainsley a police jacket and let her keep it?

41:14 - She almost died and she’s still obsessing over ‘winning’. This is seriously unstable behaviour. Way more concerning than anything Malcolm’s done since 2x1.

41:45 - “My father was a serial killer also.” Anyone else super irritated by that phrasing?!? Just me?!? Something about the ‘also’ feels super wrong to me.

41:53 - Oh sweetie. I’d argue that you are more messed up than Malcolm.

42:06 - Jessica went to see Martin twice in one episode. THIS IS BAD.

42:15 - “Maybe even more so than Malcolm if that’s possible.” Jessica knows her kids. I’m on her side here.

42:20 - Martin is way too happy about Ainsley showing signs of serial killing.

42:30 - Jessica? You married an act. That man never existed. He’s always been a serial killer. You just didn’t know it. He’s manipulative and you were a victim to it.

42:50 - “A partner.” OH THIS IS NOT GOING TO END WELL. ESPECIALLY FOR THE GIL/JESSICA ARC.

Okay....so definitely the weakest episode of the season so far. AND the fact that we got no mention of Tally and/or the baby this episode is a crime.

BUT I’M SO SO SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT EPISODE. It’s going to be a televised fanfic and I can’t wait.

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