#would be a poet or some kind of emo musician
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If Lae’zel raises that egg, the kid is gonna end up as a bard and it will be 100% because of her influence
#like the most fully realized version of Lae’zel if she had been raised able to express herself and be what she wanted#would be a poet or some kind of emo musician#you can’t romance her and tell me otherwise#girl won’t say ‘I love you’ but will recite several lines about you being the tastes of her tongue#and feeling your passion in her every ache#which she came up with on the spot when you just asked for clarification if you were dating or not#she’s gonna raise a child while having these big enormous emotions and that kid is gonna be ARSTY#baldur's gate 3#bg3#lae'zel
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Hiii, mousey! (◕ᴗ◕✿)
I heard you're planning to take a break from requests, and it's understandable. But I hope I'm not too late to send this idea. You know the assassin fanfic I requested before? The one about how the mages and adventurers react to the Farmer's past as a runaway assassin. Well, I thought it would be interesting to see how the SDV Bachelors would react if they discovered their spouse is a former assassin who now wants to lead a peaceful life.
(I was suppose to send this to you early but I got sidetrack, it'll be like my last request by the time you take a break but its okay if you don't want to.)
Heya! 👋
I got your question right after the askbox was closed, so yeah, have some more headcanons for this interesting idea, and thanks for the ask! 💖
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...So the news that Shane saw on TV crime program about this criminal gang.... Was it connected to Farmer? It was all about contract killings, blackmail and robberies, and... Recruiting kids. And his friend was one of them. No, he's not blaming them. Come to think of it, if Shane was in a similar situation, he'd do anything to protect his niece and aunt. So it's not for him to judge Farmer. He's glad they were able to escape those bastards and their siblings are safe now.
Elliott was at a loss for words. The poet couldn't imagine that Farmer had to go through all this to keep themself and their siblings alive. That being said, this is the first time he won't hold back and say some not-so-polite words in the direction of these scumbags who robbed Farmer of their parents and threatened their relatives with reprisals. If Farmer needs support, let them feel free to stop by his humble cabin, or if they need to watch over their siblings.
Farmer and Sebastian sat by the mountain lake for a long time while the local emo listened to their story, which gave him goosebumps. Just like that, murdered in cold blood right in front of Farmer's eyes? And then... they had to do their dirty work or else their younger siblings would be killed too? What a piece of crap, these criminal scumbags. Sebastian admires Farmer's selflessness and bravery. But also... it's all good now, right? No mobs again, right?
As Farmer's siblings played with Vincent, Sam stood nearby with Farmer, his eyes wide open about his friend's past, which makes the blood run cold in musician's veins. The fact that they'd had to be in a criminal gang at such a young age... That's rough, he's sorry to hear that. Now every time Sammy sees Farmer's siblings running and laughing, the musician can't get it out of his head what kind of suffering their older sibling endured.
Alex's body was filled with rage. Not towards Farmer, of course, they were victimized by these bastards, who the athlete would have given a good punch in the face with his fist. But he can't understand why Farmer's parents got involved in the mob in the first place, having kids already. Didn't they realize they were risking not only themselves but their family?! He didn't mean say that, Farmer, it's just- Why should children suffer because of their parents' mistakes?
There were so many scars on Farmer's body when Harvey did the medical exam, even before they became adventurers. And the fact that all those scars were "punishment" from the mob's members... The doctor's hands were shaking. Farmer and their siblings were innocent children, they didn't deserve to be in constant fear. Harvey just hugged Farmer, silently. He's sorry for what happened to them, and will be relieved to say that he's once for Farmer and their quest to escape the cage and save the younger siblings.
#stardew valley#sdv#sdv shane#sdv alex#sdv elliott#sdv sebastian#sdv harvey#sdv sam#sdv headcanons#thanks for the ask!
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Taking Back Sunday’s 20th Anniversary Tour
Getting back into the tumblr thing again to find other music writers. Here’s a repost from my Medium account.
The first time I listened to Taking Back Sunday, I was probably around 12 or 13. I was just getting into the so called emo and pop-punk scene. Taking Back Sunday was one of those bands that were easy to get into because there was so much affection in the vocals, you had to yell out the lyrics even when you had headphones on. The show at the Commodore Ballroom in Vancouver exhibited how old music could still bring together a horde of former (and maybe present) scene kids and unite them in glory.
You could feel a certain excitement in everyone at the venue. My friend and I were grabbing beers only a few minutes before the show was supposed to start. As soon as I saw the now elderly members of Taking Back Sunday get on stage and immediately started playing “You Know How I Do,” I had the most intense urge of just getting into middle of the crowd as soon as possible. The cascading guitars of the song pummelled like a vehicle’s engine getting ready for the long trek. Adam Lazarra started to combust on the stage: “So sick so sick of being tired / and oh so tired of being sick,” a line thematic of my generation’s emo kids. Everybody just wanted to be their own person and not have anyone tell them what to do. My friend and I couldn’t stop giggling about how we were going to see them, and here they are on stage as pumped as they looked 20 long years ago.
Slowly, but surely we made our way towards the mosh pit in time for “Cute Without the E,��� a classic by the Long Island band. Adam Lazzara at 37 years old still looks great, a kind of scene Jimmy Page as my friend mentioned at the time of the concert. He doesn’t look like a rockstar that’s dwindled to the fringes of the scene but a man still worthy of the stage. I was aways at awe watching him swing that mic on early youtube clips and here he was as nimble as ever tossing the mic around like a whip easily coiled and ready to lash out. John Nolan looks like a dad now with hair flowing down both sides of his face and a semi-kept beard. He still belted out my favourite echoed vocals, always fighting for space in the song but in reality always complementing Lazzara’s wails.
One of the highlights from the concert was the popular “You’re so Last Summer.” Goosebumps crawled all over my body as soon as Lazarra belted that iconic opening line from the track: “She said don’t!” — the crowd relishing in the song’s luster. High school was such a time of isolation and angst for a lot of these late twenties “kids,” but that doesn’t mean we could relive those times with a sort of nostalgic joy. Everyone gathered for this celebration of music can look back into those times of yearning. It’s always nice to look at ourselves now and realize how much we’ve grown and matured.
After they finished playing the album “Tell All Your Friends,” Lazzara had one of the members of the Maine come out to flip a coin whether to play the albums Louder Now or Where You Want To Be. I wanted them to play the former but the latter got picked to the delight of the crowd. It seemed like the younger generation of Taking Back Sunday fans (probably people my age) would have gone for Louder Now because of the song “MakeDamnSure” but I didn’t mind it. It was one of the bigger highlights of the concert by a mile and probably had given me the biggest nostalgia hit. That was one of the first songs I played live with my first band in the Philippines. Those were the makings of musicians following their own path today. At the Commodore Ballroom that night though, bodies flung against one another in the hopes of feeling each other’s sweat and passion, bits of saliva trickling out of everyone’s mouths shouting out the words of a disgruntled poet about a bad relationship: “I just want to break you down so badly,” a line possibly misinterpreted as putting words into action but is actually meant to convey the deeper sadness of having oneself being put down by a loved one. There’s a willingness to hurt the other person but there is a love that holds it back.
Towards the second half of the album, everything slowed down. Most of the crowd stopped moshing and just kept to their miniature head-banging. It was only during the 3rd part of their set where they played “This Photograph is Proof” and “A Decade Under the Influence” where the crowd gained a third jolt of energy to start another mosh and singing along to the teenage anthems of their childhood for the last hurrah. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” a catchy lyric repeated through Nolan’s angst on the track has been ringing through my head for a few days now. The lyric captures a moment of lingering anxiety before a predicted breakup. The opposite could be said about the whole night.
At the end of the show, I was left with feeling a sense of elation, a sort of transcendence within the present world. There aren’t a lot of bands that can do that. Maybe it was the nostalgia hitting me hard, or maybe it was just my communion with the audience. There’s a sense of intimate unity you achieve when moshing with other people who know the lyrics. It’s a shared dance we’ve savoured in our teenage years, a time when everything was easier even if at the time, it felt like the whole world was against us.
I found out about Taking Back Sunday through one of my good friends from my childhood. He showed me the song “Timberwolves at New Jersey” during our preteens, a time for some of us when we started to consider rebelling against our parents. That intro guitar riff with Lazzara singing, “Get up, get up, come on, come on let’s go!” always got me out of my seat and made me want to start moshing. I long for the days when I was just getting into that emo scene and wanting to be a punk rocker so bad. Most of the people my age at the show could probably say the same, and for that one night we collectively embraced that culture not with a mutinous furor but with a devotion to the music.
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1, 2, 3, 4, 14, 15, 18, 23, 38, 42, 45, 57 ily sylvie
ILY2!
1. what are your favorite bands? / 2. what are your favorite singers?
Lorde, Bleachers, Janelle Monae, Taylor Swift, Paramore, Hozier, Florence and the Machine, Bastille, Panic! At the Disco, Kesha, Hayley Kiyoko, dodie, Hailee Steinfeld, Shawn Mendes, Troye Sivan, King Princess, BORNS...I think that about covers it
3. what are your favorite albums?
Melodrama and Pure Heroine (Lorde), After Laughter (Paramore), Hozier’s self titled album, Strange Desire (Bleachers), Dirty Computer (Janelle Monae)
4. what are your favorite songs?
Hard Feelings/Loveless (Lorde), Rose-Colored Boy (Paramore), Don’t Take The Money (Bleachers), Jackie and Wilson (Hozier)..Many more but these come to mind immediately
14. if someone asks you what music they should check out, what are your go-to recommendations?
Probably Bleachers, Janelle Monae, King Princess, maybe dodie. It depends on the person
15. what songs give you the most nostalgia?
Ribs by Lorde....g o d
18. who were your favorite musicians as a kid?
Owl City, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, A Rocket To The Moon, Artist Vs. Poet, All Time Low, Maroon 5, The Cab, Avril Lavigne (I was an emo child)
23. if you were to become a musician, what kind of musician would you be?
probably something in the realm of indie/indie pop!
39. what are some songs whose lyrics you think most people just don’t get?
this is a toughie..hmm. I don’t really know! I think the beauty of lyrics is that everyone feels them differently, you know?
42. name five songs you like that were released in the 90s.
There She Goes, She’s So High, ...Baby One More Time, No Scrubs, Iris
45. name 5 songs you can’t stand.
I dont really have any off of the top of my head. Except maybe like, Blurred Lines.
57. on a scale of 1 to 10, how important is music to you?
1000000
send me a number! 🎶
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(HOT TAKE) Notes on a Conditional Form by The 1975, part 1
In the first instalment of a two part dialogic HOT TAKE of The 1975′s latest album, Notes on a Conditional Form (Dirty Hit, 2020), Maria Sledmere writes to musician and critic Scott Morrison with meditations on the controversial motormouth and prince of sincerity that is Matty Healy, the poetics of wrongness, millennial digression and what it means to play and compose from the middle.
Dear Scott,
> So we have agreed to write something on The 1975’s fourth studio album, Notes on a Conditional Form (Dirty Hit/Polydor). I have been traipsing around the various necropoli of Glasgow on my state-sanctioned walks this week, listening to the long meandering 80-minute world of it, disentangling my headphones from the overgrown ferns, caught between the living and dead. Can you have a long world, a sprawling fantasia, when ‘the world’ feels increasingly shortened, small, boiled down to its ‘essentials’? Let’s go around the world in 80 minutes, the band seem to say, take this short-circuit to the infinite with me. I like that; I don’t even need a boat, just a half-arsed WiFi connection and a will to download. I’m really excited to be talking with you, writing you both about this; it’s an honour to connect our thoughts. I want writing right now to feel a bit like listening, so I write this listening. When my friend Katy slid into my DMs on a Monday morning with ‘omg the 1975 album starts with greta?????????’ and then ‘what on earth is the genre of this album ?!’ I just knew it had to happen, this writing-listening, because I was equally alarmed and charmed by the cognitive dissonance of that fall from Greta’s soft, yet urgent call to rebel (‘The 1975’), into ‘People’ with its parodic refrain of post-punk hedonism that would eat Fat White Family on a Dadaesque meal-deal platter ‘WELL, GIRLS, FOOD, GEAR [...] Yeah, woo, yeah, that’s right’. Scott, you and I went to see The 1975 play at the Hydro on the 1st of March, my last gig before lockdown. I’d been up all night drinking straight gin and doing cartwheels and crying on my friend’s carpet, and the sleeplessness made everything all the more lush and intense. Those slogans, the theatrical backdrops, the dancers, the lights, the travellator! Everything so EXTRA, what a JOURNEY. And well, it would be rude of me not to invite you to contribute to this conversation, as a thank you for the ticket but also because of your fortunate (and probably unusual) positioning as both a classically trained musician (with a fine-tuned listening ear) and fervent fan of the band (readers, Scott messaged me with pictures of pre-ordered vinyl to prove it).
> It seems impossible to begin this dialogue without first addressing the FRAUGHT and oft~problematic question of Matty Healy, the band’s frontman, variously described as ‘the enfant terrible of pop-rock’ and ‘outspoken avatar’ (Sam Sodomsky, Pitchfork), ‘enigmatic deity’ (Douglas Greenwood for i-D), ‘a charismatic thirty-one-year-old’ and ‘scrawny’, rock star ‘archetype’, not to mention ‘avatar of modern authenticity, wit, and flamboyance’ (Carrie Battan, The New Yorker). ‘Divisive motormouth or voice of a generation?’ asks Dorian Lynskey with (fair enough) somewhat tired provocation in The Guardian, as if you could have one without the other, these days. ‘There are’, writes Dan Stubbs for The NME, ‘as many Matty Healys here as there are musical styles’. So far, so postmodern, so elliptical, so everything/yeah/woo/whatever/that’s right. Come to think of it, it makes sense for The 1975 to draft in Greta Thunberg to read her climate speech over the opening eponymous track. Both Matty and Greta, for divergent yet somehow intersecting reasons, suffer the troublesome, universalising label of voice of a generation. Why not join forces to exploit this label, to put out a message? I’ve always thought of pop music as a kind of potential broadcast, a hypnotic, smooth space for desire’s traversal and recalibration. More on that later, maybe. What do you think?
youtube
> You can imagine Matty leaping out of a cryptic, post-internet Cocteau novelette (if not then straight onto James Cordon’s studio desk), emoji streaming from his fingertips like the lightning that Justine wields in Lars von Trier’s film Melancholia (2011); but the terrifying candour of the enfant terrible is also his propensity to wax lyrical on another (bear with my clickhole) YouTube interview about his thoughts on Situationism and the Snapchat generation. It feels relevant to mention cinema right now, if only in passing, because this album is full of cinematic moments: strings and swells worthy of Weyes Blood’s latest paean to the movies, but also a Disneyfication of sentiment clotted and packed between house tracks, ballads and rarefied indie hits. Nobody does the interlude quite like The 1975. Maybe more on that later, also.
> Where do I start though, how to really write about this, how to attain something like necessary distance in the space of a writing-listening? Matty Healy, I suppose, like SPAM’s celebrated authorial mascot, Tom McCarthy, poses the same problem of response: how to write about an artist whose own critical commentary is like an eloquent, overzealous and self-devouring, carnivorous vine of opinion?
> Now, let’s not turn this into a discussion about who wears pinstripes better (we can leave that to readers - these are total Notes from the Watercooler levels of quiche). There seems to be this obsession with pinning (excuse the pun) Matty down to a flat surface of multiples: a moodboard, avatar, placeholder for automatic cancellation. He’s the soft cork you wanna prod your anxieties through and call it identity, you wanna provoke into saying something bizarrely, painfully true about life ‘as it is now’. Healy himself quips self-referentially, ‘a millennial that babyboomers like’. I don’t really know where to start really, not even on Matty; my brain is all over the place and I can’t find a critical place to settle. I’m lost in the fog and the stripes, some stars also; I haven’t even washed my hair for a week. Funnily enough, in 2018 for SPAM’s #7 Prom Date issue I wrote a poem called ‘Just Messing Around’ where the speaker mentions ‘pinning my eye to the right side / of matt healy’s hair all shaved / & serene’ and you don’t really know if it’s the eye that’s shaved or the hair, but both I guess offer different kinds of vision. Every time I google the man, IRL Matty I mean, I am offered a candied proliferation of alluring headlines: ‘The 1975’s Matty Healy opens up on his beef with Imagine Dragons’, ‘The 1975’s Matty Healy savagely destroys Maroon 5 over plagiarism claims’. Perhaps the whole point is to define (or slay?) by negation. Hey, I’ll write another poem. The opening sentence comes from Matty’s recent Guardian interview.
Superstar
I’m not an avocado, not everyone thinks I’m amazing. That’s why they call me the avocado, baby was a song released by Los Campesinos! in 2013, same year as the 1975’s debut. In the am I have been wanting to listen and Andy puts up a meme like ‘The 1975 names their albums stuff like “A Treatise on Epistemological Suffering” and then spends 2 hours singing about how hard it is to be 26’ and I reply being 26 IS epistemological suffering (isn’t that the affirmative dismissal contained in the title, ‘Yeah I Know’) I mean only yesterday I had to ask myself if it’s true you can wish on 11:11 or take zinc to improve your immune system or use an expired provisional license to buy alcohol like why are they even still asking I thought indie had died after that excruciating Hadouken! song called ‘Superstar’ which was all like You don’t like my scene / You don’t like my song / Well, if you Somewhere I’ve done something wrong it seems a delirious, 3-minute scold of the retro infinitude of scarf-wearing cunts with haircuts, and yeah sure kids dressed as emos rapping to rave is not the end of the world, per se, similarly I had to ask myself is there a life in academia is there a wage here or there, like the Talking Heads song And you may ask yourself, well How did I get here? Good thing I turn 27 next month Timothy Morton often uses the refrain, this is not my beautiful house this is not my beautiful wife to refer to those moments you find yourself caught in the irony loop and that’s dark ecology the closer you are the stranger it feels like slice me in half I’ll fall out with more questions you can plant in the soil like a stone or stoner, just one more drag of does it offend you, yeah? will I live and die in a band Matty sings the sweet green meat of my much-too-old -and-such-youthful experience of adding healthy fat to conference dialogue, like ‘Avocado, Baby’ was released on a record called No Blues I believe a large automobile is hurtling towards me now in negative space and the driver is crooning Elvis and reciting my funding conditions and everything feels like there aren’t not still people who believe the new culture of content is a space ‘over there’ and you can still have earnest power ballads about love if you want them =/ to cancel (too many tabs don’t make a tableau but in the future facebook has a paywall) and fame is a drag the pressure we put on the atmosphere, like somewhere you’re alive and still amazing asking wtf I’m reading this novel by Roberto Bolaño set partly in 1975 before we had internet it seems poets got laid a lot that year in Mexico City before I was born to pick up video calls with a spliff in one hand in the splendid, essential heat like a difficult knife in my side you can put me on toast, grind the pepper over me gently and say fucking hell this has taken forever.
> I guess I want or wanted to begin with this question of difficulty that rises when responding to Notes on a Conditional Form. How do you approach an album whose delayed release places it in a position of considerable hype, an album whose world tour and promotion is again delayed by global pandemic, an album shrouded in the ever-shifting controversy of Matty’s persona, an album whose length and sonic variety risks collapse into litanies of zany superlative and necrophilic attempts to revive musical category as vaguely relevant here? As beautiful as it is to catalogue the offbeat Pinegrove vibes of ‘Roadkill’, the shoegaze croons of ‘Then Because She Goes’ and the pop-punk, chord-bright euphoria of ‘Me & You Together Song’, I could keep going and going with this. I could just list and just list this. The album is a generous offering: a tribute to the album as form in an age where attention tapers away on high-streaming playlists set to conditioned, circadian moods curated by the likes of Spotify or Apple Music. The album is a Borgesian plenitude of multiple pathways, multiple timelines, infinite feed, choose your own adventure; a hypertext of cultural reference almost worthy of Manic Street Preachers at their Richey Edwards era of paranoid, intellectual peak; a metamodernist feat of oscillation between irony and sincerity, an extended tract, a drunk millennial ramble, a journey that loops from house party to club basement to the streams of sexuality repressed and expressed encounter...and yet. It is both more and less than these things. In trying to capture Notes on a Conditional Form with some pithy, journalist’s statement, I’m doing it all wrong.
> Sidenote: I recently listened to Rachel Zucker give a 2016 lecture on ‘The Poetics of Wrongness’ as part of the Bagley Wright Lecture Series. She makes a case for wrongness in poetry and critique, rejects the poem of pithy essence, the short, pretty and to the point lyric whose meaning is easily digested in a greetings card, or A Level exam paper, say. ‘Instead of the Fabergé egg of the short lyric, I prefer the aesthetics of intractability and exhausted exhaustedness’, the mistakes, lags or aporia made along the way in one of these long and winding poems. Notes on a Conditional Form is full of what some might deem mistakes, digression, exhaustion; but it is also peppered with the gloss of almost perfect pop ‘hits’ such as ‘Me & You Together Song’ and ‘If You’re Too Shy (Let Me Know)’. A wrong poem should be, ‘ashamed and irreverent’, which feels like a decent description of The 1975’s general orientation towards artistic conception. There is cringe and incongruity, there is by all intents and purposes ‘too much of it’, whatever we mean by ‘it’. And yet, that is its beautiful poetics of wrongness, the sound of wrongness, which ‘prefers the stairs’ to the easy elevator pitch (as Zucker puts it), that ‘prefers a half-finishing crumbling stairwell to nowhere’. I like to think about this 1975 album as a kind of exhausting Escherian scene of shifting, crumbling stairwells, shuffling and reassembling against the glistering backdrop of the internet’s inverse void, where everything, literally everything is translated to a starry excess of 1s and 0s, our collective binary data, the white hot, unreadable howl of our noise. What do you think Scott, would Matty find this image agreeable? Does that matter?
> Pushing dear Matty aside, say what you like, let’s start (again) with the title: Notes on a Conditional Form. Following 2018’s A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships, it’s fair to position these records as gestures towards philosophical statements ‘of the times’. Important to recognise the resistance to total or dominating knowledge built into the titles: these are not complete tracts or theses, but rather ‘a brief inquiry’ and ‘notes’. It’s obviously the ancient yet *hip* thing to do in capital-P Philosophy, to put out your statement on aesthetics and ethics, and I think The 1975 are playing with that tradition and its failure. You can imagine if his attention span were different, Matty Healy would’ve already written a PhD thesis on this stuff and published it as drunken bulletins on LiveJournal in 2007. As it stands, we have the smorgasbord sprawl of this eclectic record to get through in this cursèd year of 2020 — it’s not like we have much of anything better to do right now, when everything feels so futile, beyond reason and even the greatest human endeavour. Haha, woo, Yeah :’(((.
> Let’s stay in that conditional space between crying and laughter. Conditional form is interesting as a term, often used in grammar to refer to the ‘unreal past’ because it uses a past tense but does not actually refer to something that literally happened in the past: If I had texted him back, we would probably have gone to the gig that night. There’s something about the conditional as the ur-condition of the internet, the proliferating possibilities it offers and the hauntological strains of what could have been had we chosen x option over y, z, a, b, c, infinity...As millennials, we often make decisions by hedging, always caught in the conditional state of what it is to be. Hovering in the emotional shortcuts provided by dumb yellow icons, the poetics of abstraction. A verb form’s dalliance with uncertain reverb; and so we live our conditional lives.
> To push this further, we can say the internet is, as ever, Matty Healy’s natural habitat. In a recent podcast interview with Conor Oberst for The Face, Healy tells his favourite emo-country hero that ‘my natural environment by the time I started The 1975 was the fucking internet’. So how does that ecosystem play into the music? In a damning review for The Line of Best Fit, Claire Biddles concludes:
The 1975’s first three albums are ideal and distinct worlds to inhabit, each individually cohesive but situated in specific contexts — the anticipation of the small town, profundity in the face of vacuous fame, and the horror and isolation of late capitalism. Perhaps because of its broken genesis, Notes has no such common context, and ends up feeling flat, directionless and inessential, where its forebears felt vital, worthy of devoting a life to. For a band with proven dexterity in deftly capturing the nuances and quick changes of contemporary conversation, it is disheartening to witness them with nearly nothing of note to say.
That description — ‘flat, directionless and inessential’ — is kind of how I experience the internet right now, in the paradox of Web 2.0 becoming utterly essential, somehow, to how I live my life, how I love, how I am with friends. The internet as my ecosystem, my utility, my complete environment, my Imaginary — beyond the mere utility of a WiFi connection. Broken genesis might well describe the childhoods of those of us who grew up online, whose platforms collapsed around them, whose adolescent data was lost in the great ~accidental annihilation of the MySpace servers, whose identities were always already fractured, performed, anonymised or exquisitely personalised, deferred into only the (im)possible keystroke of utterance and trace, the fort-da play of MSN sign-ins. ‘My life is defined by a desire to be outward followed by a fear of being seen’, Matty says in a new short film for Apple Music, released in tandem with the album. The internet requires this chiaroscuro destiny: not to burn always with Baudelaire’s hard and gem-like flame (O to be an IRL flaneur beyond times of lockdown) but to endlessly flicker between the bright green light of presence and the shade of what once was called afk, away from keyboard. To live and burn in the gap between extroversion and introversion, to live in this conditional state of tendency. To express with emoji, send pics, is to both reveal and withhold something else, essential.
> I like albums to feel like worlds; I appreciate Biddles’ evocation of the cohesion experienced in the first three 1975 records. But perhaps it is a kind of violence to assume a world must have cohesion to exist. What is even meant by ‘common context’? What pressure are we putting on a singer, a band, a cultural moment to produce something familiar and harmonious, and to whom, at what scale? What does it mean to be the biggest band in the world...for a bit? How does that work when everything is dissonance, transience, noise, interference; both this and not-this; when life itself is lived as the flat traversal of a millioning existential terrains that seem to collapse into this nowness in which I feel myself sliding forever? Can anyone weigh-in on what it means to make music, art or writing that’s ‘worthy of devoting a life to’, because the gravity and force of that condition for good art, good pop, seduces me so.
> Maybe the point is to always be in the middle, to never quite start to write about The 1975, to find yourself always already writing about this album because this album was always already writing about your life. I have said nobody does the interlude quite like The 1975, but I was being coy, because the hottest twentieth-century philosophical double act, Deleuze and Guattari (haters gonna hate), do the interlude rather nicely. The point of a rhizome being ‘no beginning or end [...] always in the middle, between things, interbeing, intermezzo’ as they write in A Thousand Plateaus (1980). I see the musical interlude of a pop record, the instrumental moment without lyric, as a kind of middling gesture that places the listener in that conditional state of presence and absence, a hinge between songs, times and narrative moments. Maybe my favourite moment in A Thousand Plateaus is the statement: ‘RHIZOMATICS = POP ANALYSIS, even if the people have other things to do besides read it, even if the blocks of academic culture or pseudoscien-tificity in it are still too painful or ponderous’. Painful or ponderous might be a fair critique levelled at the enfant terrible vibes of Matty’s lyrics and generic pick’n’mix, but isn’t this tactic a kind of swerving punch at the categorical violence that keeps people out of academia, that keeps academic discourse so often stale in the first place? Unlike most journal articles, let’s face it, pop reaches ‘“the people”’. Perhaps Notes on a Conditional Form is the rhizomatic sprawl of the myriad we need as an alternative to institutional hierarchy, ring-fencing and the language games of academia. Surely the title is a reference to the very ‘pseudoscient-tificity’ D&G mention? I’m gonna quote Richard Scott’s blurb to Colin Herd’s 2019 poetry collection, You Name It here (not least because the indie publishers, Dostoyevsky Wannabe, come straight out of Manchester, home to The 1975, and because Herd’s poetic spirit is pure pop generosity with a platter of theory on the side), because I want to say similar things of this album: ‘Colin Herd’s poems are masterpieces of variousness. They are talismans against Macho demons. They are snatches of theory operating under lavish spills of language’. The good thing about Herd’s poetry and Matty Healy’s lyrics is that the impulse towards romantic or florid expression is always tapered by an interest in the mundane and everyday. Healy is always singing about pissing or buying clothes online or, as on ‘The Birthday Party’, singing about ‘a place I’ve been going’ that seems to consist of the lonely, infinite regress of conversations about seeing friends and watching someone drink kombucha while buying, in the convenient life of rhyme, Ed Ruscha prints.
Ed Ruscher, Cold Beer, Beautiful Girls (2009)
> So what kind of listening does this rhizomatic sprawl demand — does it expand beyond the banal or find a holding space there, a heaven of affect chilled to late-modernity’s crisp perfection? ‘The End (Music For Cars)’ is a luxurious, Hollywood ‘soaring’ moment, all strings and swells, fucking woodwind, and comes as the third track on the album, where normally you’d place it as some kind of penultimate climax, the album’s landscape pan-out or big swelling screen kiss in three-dimensional rotation. The band’s ‘Music For Cars’ era comprises their two most recent records, and you have to take it as a nod to Brian Eno’s 1978 ambient classic Ambient 1: Music for Airports (Matty recently interviewed Eno again for The Face, cool). The thing about cars is you drive around in them, you follow rules but also whims and desires, convictions; you choose to join others or you pursue the selfish acceleration (‘People are afraid to merge on freeways in Los Angeles’ goes the laconic teenage refrain in Bret Easton Ellis’ 1985 debut novel Less Than Zero). You only listen to music half-attentively; you don’t listen close enough to trade in souls. Are we being invited to experience this album as an ambient disruption of figure and ground, presence and absence, here and there, space and place, intimacy and despondency? Driving feels increasingly ‘directionless and inessential’ when the scale effects and obscenities of the anthropocene, of covid and other late-capitalist crises loom in our vision, when the sign systems we used to navigate our lives by seem to shimmer out of focus, or pixelate and deteriorate through endless memetic replication... You can’t help feel like Biddles review kind of misses the point.
Sylvano Bussoti, Five Pieces for Piano for David Tudor (1959)
> What point would that be though, in a world of rhizomatic overlap and intersecting, middling lines, a direction without seeming end? I love the approximation at work when Biddles writes, ‘with nearly nothing of note to say’, because that seems to be a possibility condition for writing in the age of the internet. To write in a way that is almost less than zero and loop back upon some kind of infinity, yet keep it in 2-step. I think back to Rachel Zucker’s image of the half-finished crumbling stairwell, and feel an amiable sense of approval towards this band who always work between the registers of diary, confession, advertising, provocative sloganeering and faux-didactics, never quite settling in to specifically tell you this particular story. It’s all mess, and it’s awful and delicious, I’m sorry. ‘Nothing Revealed / Everything Denied’ is the title of track 13 on the album: that movement between nothing and everything feels like the absolutist, absurdist conditions of ‘truth’ possibility in the Trumpocene/age of so-called ‘post-truth’. ‘Life feels like a lie, I need something to be true’, Healy sings with strained conviction in the song’s opening. But what is at stake in this truth? ‘I never fucked in a car, I was lying’, goes the line, referring back to the dramatic in medias res opening to ‘Love It If We Made It’, notable banger from A Brief Inquiry…: ‘We’re fucking in a car, shooting heroin / Saying controversial things just for the hell of it’. If lying is a pun on telling a mistruth or laying back, practically sexless in a passive state, there’s a deliberate play on apathy, agency and distortion here. It’s something Matty seems snagged on. On ‘I Like America & America Likes Me’ he collapses aesthetic superficiality, capital’s lyric abstraction (‘Oh, what’s a fiver?’) and generalised crisis into this (un)conscious desire for shutdown, expressed in fragmentary bullets of needing-to-know-and-not-know: ‘Is that designer? Is that on fire? Am I a liar? Oh, will this help me lay down?’ And then that impassioned refrain, processed through vocal distortion as if to enact the difficulty in clarity as overcome somehow by the sheer making of noise: ‘Belief and saying something / And saying something / And saying something’. It’s the endless, driving recursion of our lives online, online.
> Back to ‘The End (Music for Cars)’ which really is the middle of the beginning. It’s weird to listen to songs about driving and lying down in the middle of lockdown, drowning in the bloat of social media, on top of our ongoing climate emergency (yeah, remember that, it’s still happening), where high-carbon travel feels like an exhausted, almost impossible concept. A musician complaining about travelling is an age-old subject for a song, but this feels just as much about living in the in-between times of the internet (remember the sweet naivety of the information superhighway) as much as the great Road, for which Kerouac longed as much as Springsteen, Dylan, or Lana Del Rey. Is Matty Healy homesick though? ‘Get somewhere, change my mind, eh / Get somewhere but don’t find it / I don’t find what I’m looking for’. It’s all ‘(out there)’ as the parenthetical refrain goes, but maybe ‘out there’, outside, is the maddening supplement, as Derrida would say, to our lives online, thus revealing their mutual, entwined dependency. Imagine the M6 but tangled up crazily, zanily, like one of those Sylvano Bussoti scores. It’s not like you’re trying to get home, get back, exactly. It’s not like you can just click back on your browser and erase that trace of the touch that enacts it. That’s the weird-ass sensation of being an ecological being: ‘Wherever you go, there you are’, writes Tim Morton in Being Ecological (2018). We’re all pretty alien, even to ourselves.
> If life feels like a lie, as Matty sings, does it matter anymore whether it is or not? Or, to pose the question differently, how do we feel into, attune to something like ‘truth’, a shared reality or feeling? ‘Out there’ is only a state of ellipsis [...] a vine extended, something for the listener, user, consumer and/or human to cling to — or be strangled by. In the aforementioned Apple Music video, Matty takes away the canvas and presents the frame beneath, in a gesture that is comically overwrought with Duchampian pretention around the state and context of the artwork itself. ‘Sometimes I think what is the point of...it’s not my atheism coming out, it’s just my being human coming out’, he muses. The phrase ‘coming out’, with its connotations of closeting, shame and cocoon-like emergence is intriguing here. In a dehumanising, post-internet world of neoliberalism and its attendant microfascisms, its commodification of all kinds of art, its easythink translation of poetry-to-advertising, what would it mean to come out as human after, or better still, in the middle of all this? It’s significant that he trails off after ‘the point of…’, for surely the point itself (of the art?) would be to find yourself here, there, right in the middle of it all. And then in ‘Nothing Revealed / Everything Denied’, it’s like Matty is calling us back from that epistemological and ontological boiling point of knowing and being, like in singing we could go along, we could feel present and ‘true’ again, even with friction and difference. We gotta take hold, cool ourselves down from the rhetoric and into warm emotion, the smell of paint, erotic vibration of bass, in a manner of speaking.
> What if the mode of inquiry were not to investigate but rather to follow the lines of flight, to riff on this world where narrative arcs and chains are replaced by the multiple possibilities of hallucinatory experience, what Deleuze and Guattari call ‘a continuous, self-vibrating region of intensities whose development avoids any orientation toward a culmination point or external end’? To just desire and trace it. This, Scott, is where you come in (and I finally shut up to listen). There is so much more to write about this album, echo for echo, and I feel like I’ve only begun the tracing which was already beginning: I want to know your thoughts on The 1975 and America, on gender and genre, on bodies and football and friendship, on political engagement, those house beats, on the beautiful, sultry appearance of Phoebe (fucking) Bridgers, on sincerity, on the question of ‘What Should I Say’...It’s been playing on my mind that I will never say what I want to, or should, or would say of this album, but this perhaps is what I would otherwise have said. I give you my notes in conditional form.
Read part 2 of our review in Scott Morrison’s response here.
Notes on a Conditional Form is out now and available to order.
~
Text: Maria Sledmere
Published: 23/6/20
#review#reviews#music reviews#album review#The 1975#Matty Healy#Maria Sledmere#music criticism#Scott Morrison
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was tagged by the brilliant @localplantpal you seem lovely and you have really cool hair thank you. I love love love when mutuals tag me in things so everyone please continue ~
I’M SORRY THIS IS LONG I LOVE YOU -----
Rules: Answer these questions, then tag some pals to do it too!
What is your idea of perfect happiness?: A state that rarely occurs where I am not tired or sad or anxious and I can relax. I am doing what I love and I’m with the people I love most. Having success both in career and life. But, if you want a setting: When it’s 3am and it’s raining and all the lights are out except for my fairy lights. A cup of hot tea and the song “You Already Know” by Bombay Bicycle Club playing softly while scrolling through tumblr. That hipster situation is my perfect happiness.
What is your greatest fear?: My greatest fear is failure. I grew up as a “gifted” kid, so everything we do is expected to be perfect. So, I’m scared to make one wrong move, whether it be in academics, social situations, or life. If I grow up and have a boring office job because I was too afraid to take risks, I will have failed at life.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?: My natural ability to drive people I love away
What is the trait you most deplore in others?: The ability to hate someone based only upon gender, race, religion, etc. Which living person do you most admire?: Dan (what a surprise) because I can relate strongly to his stories of when he was younger. I’m in a part of my life that isn’t very good, waiting for something to happen. He gives me hope that the future will turn out fine and I will find someone like me who won’t toss me to the side. What is your greatest extravagance?: Probably concert tickets or live event tickets. I buy as many as I can What is your current state of mind?: I’m pretty sad lately. I feel like no one is by my side or understands me, so it’s hitting me pretty hard. That’s the depression talking, anyway.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?: Chastity. Fuck it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ On what occasion do you lie?: Probably in some situations to make a story sound more interesting or to get out of trouble. When normal me stopped being enough.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?: My weight. I’m not too bad, but when I was little I was. Now any weight seems like too much weight. My arms are still kinda big and it angers me every day.
Which living person do you most despise?: Any person who sees themselves as above others, and wants to play god in their lives. Trump, Pence, you name it. What is the quality you most like in a man?: Humor, they have to be funny. Tell a good joke and finger gun, and you’ve won my heart. Also if you look edgy or emo, I’m probably all about it. But mainly, I just love total dorky nerds.
What is the quality you most like in a woman?: Same goes as above Which words or phrases do you most overuse?: “I’m depressed”, “I’m sad” “it’s me. I’m the dog” “hey, mr. cwow,” “heck”
What or who is the greatest love of your life?: I haven’t found that yet, but when I do, I’ll know for sure.
When and where were you happiest?: When Dan Howell told me he liked my baymax phone case and I nervously giggled so hard I stepped on Phil Lester’s foot.
Which talent would you most like to have?: I would like to be a good musician. I play guitar but I’m afraid I’m not very good.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: I would either be taller, prettier, or not depressed. What do you consider your greatest achievement?: Over coming my fears to go after one of my various dreams. But also being the word masters: analyze this school winner in 5th grade. Fuck yeah. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?: Hayley Williams because she’s one of my idols, crazy talented, and rad as hell. Where would you most like to live?: London. I’ve wanted to live there since I was 13.
What is your most treasured possession?: My computer or my signed copy of tabinof. I don’t even really watch d and p anymore but they remain a symbol of strength for me. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?: Being alone, trapped in the same cycle of every day What is your favourite occupation?: I haven’t had a job yet, but I want to write for cartoon shows, or animate. Being a youtuber would be loads of fun, but way out of reach. What is your most marked characteristic?: my unrelenting creativity. This madhouse never stops ya know
What do you most value in your friends?: Kindness, humor, and the security to know that they’re not going to toss me aside in a few years time
Who are your favourite writers (musicians, artists, poets etc)?: Fall Out Boy, Paramore, A Day To Remember, Panic! At The Disco, Dance Gavin Dance, A Rocket To The Moon, Parachute, The Cab, Neck Deep, The Killers, Bo Burnham, You Me At Six Who is your hero of fiction?: usagi tsukino (sailor moon) as she was living a normal life, and while she’d rather live that normal life, she rose to the challenge of becoming sailor moon as she knew she had a greater purpose. Everyone can have a greater purpose.
as this is a long and personal one, I’m gonna tag with care. Please don’t feel forced to do it, I just think you’re cool so I tagged you okay here we goOOOOO: @luciferherself @evanescent-lester @warmphandom @this-green-light-in-my-eyes @ricehtml @slidart @howls-moving-tardis @higayimmom
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