#would anyone like a badly-made meme.

[thebestestbat]

The New Titans (1988) or Roy Harper and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Horrible Teens (and Kyle)

[presiding]

you'll never guess which level we're up to in this dishonored 2 rewrite

[ktempestbradford]

I have been on a Willy Wonkified journey today and I need y'all to come with me

It started so innocently. Scrolling Google News I come across this article on Ars Technica:

At first glance I thought what happened was parents saw AI-generated images of an event their kids were at and became concerned, then realized it was fake. The reality? Oh so much better.

On Saturday, event organizers shut down a Glasgow-based "Willy's Chocolate Experience" after customers complained that the unofficial Wonka-inspired event, which took place in a sparsely decorated venue, did not match the lush AI-generated images listed on its official website.... According to Sky News, police were called to the event, and "advice was given."

Thing is, the people who paid to go were obviously not expecting exactly this:

But I can see how they'd be a bit pissed upon arriving to this:

It gets worse.

"Tempest, how could it possibly--"

source of this video that also includes this charming description:

Made up a villain called The Unknown — 'an evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls'

There is already a meme.

Oh yes, the Wish.com Oompa Loompa:

Who has already done an interview!

As bad (and hilarious) as this all is, I got curious about the company that put on this event. Did they somehow overreach? Did the actors they hired back out at the last minute? (Or after they saw the script...) Oddly enough, it doesn't seem so!

Given what I found when poking around I'm legit surprised there was an event at all. Cuz this outfit seems to be 100% a scam.

The website for this specific event is here and it has many AI generated images on it, as stated. I don't think anyone who bought tickets looked very closely at these images, otherwise they might have been concerned about how much Catgacating their children would be exposed to.

Yes, Catgacating. You know, CATgacating!

I personally don't think anyone should serve exarserdray flavored lollipops in public spaces given how many people are allergic to it. And the sweet teats might not have been age appropriate.

Though the Twilight Tunnel looks pretty cool:

I'm not sure that Dim Tight Twdrding is safe. I've also been warned that Vivue Sounds are in that weird frequency range that makes you poop your pants upon hearing them.

Yes, Virginia, these folks used an AI image generator for everything on the website and used Chat GPT for some of the text! From the FAQ:

Q: I cannot go on the available days. Will you have more dates in the future? A: Should there be capacity when you arrive, then you will be able to enter without any problems. In the event that this is not the case, we may ask you to wait a bit.

Fear not, for this question is asked again a few lines down and the answer makes more sense.

Curious about the events company behind this disaster, I took myself over to the homepage of House of Illuminati and I was not disappointed.

I would 100% trust these people to plan my wedding.

This abomination of a website is a badly edited WordPress blog filled with AI art and just enough blog posts to make the casual viewer think that it's a legit business for about 0.0004 seconds.

Their attention to detail is stunning, from how they left up the default first post every WP blog gets to how they didn't bother changing the name on several images, thus revealing where they came from. Like this one:

With the lovely and compact filename "DALL·E-2024-01-30-09.50.54-Imagine-a-scene-where-fantasy-and-reality-merge-seamlessly.-In-the-foreground-a-grand-interactive-gala-is-taking-place-filled-with-elegant-guests-i.png"

"Concept.png" came from the same AI generator that gets text almost, but not quiiiiiite right:

There are a suspicious number of .webp images in the uploads, which makes me think they either stole them from other sites where AI "art" was uploaded or they didn't want to pay for the hi-res versions of some and just grabbed the preview image.

The real fun came when I noticed this filename: Before-and-After-Eventologists-Transformation-Edgbaston-Cricket-Ground-1024x1024-1.jpg and decided to do a Google image search. Friends, you will be shocked to hear that the image in question, found on this post touting how they can transform a boring warehouse into a fun event space, was stolen from this actual event planner.

Even better, this weirdly grainy image?

From a post that claims to be about the preparations for a "Willy Wonka" experience (we'll get to this in a minute), is not only NOT an actual image of anyone preparing anything for Illuminati's event, it is stolen from a YouTube thumbnail that's been chopped to remove the name of the company that actually made this. Here's the video.

If you actually read the blog posts they're all copypasta or some AI generated crap. To the point where this seems like not a real business at all. There's very specific business information at the bottom, but nothing else seems real.

As I said, I'm kinda surprised they put on an event at all. This has, "And then they ran off with all our money!" written all over it. I'm perplexed.

And also wondering when the copyright lawyers are gonna start calling, because...

This post explicitly says they're putting together a "Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory Experience" complete with golden tickets.

Somewhere along the line someone must have wised up, because the actual event was called "Willys Chocolate Experience" (note the lack of apostrophe) and the script they handed to the actors about 10 minutes before they were supposed to "perform" was about a "Willy McDuff" and his chocolate factory.

As I was going through this madness with friends in a chat, one pointed out that it took very little prompting to get the free Chat GPT to spit out an event description and such very similar to all this while avoiding copyrighted phrases. But he couldn't figure out where the McDuff came from since it wasn't the type of thing GPT would usually spit out...

Until he altered the prompt to include it would be happening in Glasgow, Scotland.

You cannot make this stuff up.

But truly, honestly, I do not even understand why they didn't take the money and run. Clearly this was all set up to be a scam. A lazy, AI generated scam.

Everything from the website to the event images to the copy to the "script" to the names of things was either stolen or AI generated (aka stolen). Hell, I'd be looking for some poor Japanese visitor wandering the streets of Glasgow, confused, after being jacked for his mascot costume.

HE LIVES IN THE WALLS, Y'ALL.

[thatfandomslut]

Not Into Guys

Regina George x Lesbian!Reader

Word Count: 1k

Trigger Warnings: Aaron Samuels (i'm joking, they're besties), underage drinking

Request:

Can I please request a fic where Regina is like “I know your secret you like Aaron” and super flirty reader is confused and like “Why would I like him when you’re here” and Regina is shocked and it’s super cute and they’re gay for each other!

Mean Girls requests are open.

This all started because of a rumor accidentally started by none other than Gretchen Wieners. "I heard her flirting with Aaron Samuels. She called him her boy toy." Gretchen informed Regina who crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair in thought. It wasn't hidden information that Regina George liked (Y/n). Regina thought they had a thing. Obviously, she was wrong if (Y/n) claimed Aaron to be her 'boy toy.' As she listened to Gretchen go on about everything she had heard, Regina's icy blue eyes landed on (Y/n) as she made her entrance into the classroom.

Typically, Regina had only kind things to say about (Y/n). Unfortunately, her entering with Aaron seemed to cause anything nice to leave her mind as she narrowed her eyes at them. She just couldn't understand why anyone in their right mind would choose Aaron over her. She was gorgeous, popular, and rich. However, Regina supposed that Aaron was kind and funny. People didn't usually associate Regina with those two attributes. Instead, they associated her with beautiful but mean. Which, was right, of course. Regina just hoped that wasn't something (Y/n) thought of her. She wanted (Y/n) to like her the way she did (Y/n).

"This class is kind of lame. I might leave before it starts," Regina interrupted Gretchen, hoping she would stop talking about (Y/n) and Aaron. If she had to hear any more information about them being together, she would either vomit or kill Gretchen. There was a possibility that both of those scenarios were likely, and she would commit both rather than either. Fortunately, the honey blonde beside her seemed to catch on, and she stopped talking about them. "It's not like I'm ever going to actually need geometry. I have people to do my math for me."

Karen nodded enthusiastically at the point that she made. Regina could easily ask Cady if she needed someone to look over floor plans. She was above math, she decided. Aaron had left once the bell rang, leaving (Y/n) by herself at her desk. A small, devilish smirk crossed Regina's lips as she stood up. "(Y/n), I was thinking about skipping class. Would you like to join us?" Regina questioned, and it didn't take a second thought for (Y/n) to accept the invite. Just like Regina, she didn't necessarily care for math. Instead, she would rather escape the confines of those four walls that held math puns and math memes due to the teacher trying to fit in. Karen and Gretchen were about to follow Regina out before she told them to stay. She had some things to talk to (Y/n) about. Specifically, things involving Aaron Samuels and why (Y/n) thought that Aaron was better than her.

Regina would never deny the fact that she was the jealous type. She had decided a long time ago that (Y/n) was going to be her girlfriend, Aaron wasn't going to ruin this plan with his boyish good looks or boy-next-door kindness. That was why Regina brought (Y/n) to the mall, to show off her money in an attempt to woo (Y/n). An attempt that failed as (Y/n) had to assure her over and over again that she didn't want anything Prada or Gucci. Regina was beginning to wonder how attached (Y/n) was to Aaron. If she couldn't convince her to date her over name-brand items, how was she going to convince her to date her at all?

"Okay, what's wrong, Regina?" (Y/n) questioned once they got to the food court. She was starting to grow concerned when Regina didn't comment on how badly styled the mannequins were like she usually did. She was starting to think that maybe it was something that she was doing wrong. If Regina would communicate with her, she would be able to accommodate and change whatever she was doing that was bothering Regina. "I feel like I've done something to upset you."

Regina realized she was beginning to let what Gretchen said about (Y/n) and Aaron get to her. However, instead of being able to keep it in, she was expressing it. A smile crossed her lips as she played it off. "Everything is fine, you did nothing wrong. Now that we're here, though, we can have girl talk." The two girls sat down, confusion bubbling (Y/n) at how quickly Regina changed her mood. "I know you're secret… You like Aaron Samuels." Regina stated confidently, looking down at (Y/n).

(Y/n), on the other hand, was only growing more confused. She wanted to laugh because of how confident Regina had said that. It was completely false. "Why would I have a crush on Aaron when you're here?" She questioned, crossing her arms as she looked up at Regina. It was unintentionally smooth. It caught Regina off guard as her cheeks began to heat up slightly at what she had said. "Aaron is my best friend, and I'm a lesbian." (Y/n) told Regina, wondering why she even thought she was remotely into him.

"Didn't you say he was your boy toy though? I've had great sources tell me this." Regina claimed. She sometimes needed to remind herself that Gretchen took information and ran with it. (Y/n) smiled a bit as shook her head. Leaning in, she kissed Regina, who reciprocated happily. She could hear her heart beating in her ear as she tried to keep herself from messing the kiss up by smiling at it. "Okay, okay, fine… You're not into Aaron."

(Y/n) laughed a bit at the comment before Regina pulled her back into a kiss. This time, she kissed deeper, not as nervous as the first time. Though, her heartbeat remained loud in her ears as they kissed. Regina couldn't care less if anyone was scowling, because all that mattered to her in that moment was how (Y/n)'s hands felt as they cupped her cheeks.

[etoileee]

please please please tell me what percy is like😛

PERCY JACKSON IN MY DR Ψ

I’m so sorry this took so long! I don’t know why but I genuinely find it so hard to describe literally anything from my dr, like when I’m asked for example what Percy is like, I can’t come up with words that describe him... I just get these abstract thoughts and emotions that I associate with him.

It might be the fact that I'm dyslexic lmao but going on;

I don't consider Percy Jackson intimidating, but he definitely can be 1000%

He isn't shy at all, for example when I first met him we made eye contact, and he DID NOT look away. like I won't lie sometimes when I make eye contact with people I try and see if I can make them look away first just for the fun of it, but no he put my ass in my place that day.

I made a post talking about how people too often forget that he's a New Yorker and borderline juvenile and a lot of you thought it was funny but I am SERIOUS SEND HELP

He's a bit blunt, very honest. if he doesn't like some shit you're doing he'll tell you. I mentioned in my last post that he isn't afraid of confrontation and truly I mean it, I'm the type that tries to avoid it but once the opportunity presents itself he jumps to it, and he WILL fight ur ass, especially if it's someone he cares about that's on the line.

besides that part of him, I also noticed he is very protective. again, especially about people he cares about. he is the type that will defend you if he's with people who are talking badly about you and then tell you what they said about you then never talk to them again.

In my dr him and I just recently met so I haven't really experienced protective Percy, he did end up defending me two times, once during Capture the Flag and once when we were training, and both times I was honestly shocked. like I know his fatal flaw is his loyalty, but I didn't think he would say anything in my defence.

When I told him "You didn't have to do that" he got annoyed. dead ass told me "Why wouldn't I?" alright then... lemme shut up

HE IS SOOO SASSY

He's leading the sassy man apocalypse I've watched him roll his eyes when Dionysus talks or literally when anyone says anything he doesn't like... like okay princess calm down.

It's honestly really funny though I giggle a lil when I notice him getting annoyed.

something else I noticed is that low-key he's good with kids and it's really cute to watch. He's awkward as hell yes but he's good at helping them not doubt themselves.

I watched him help a group of what I think were nine-year-olds with sparring, he was a bit of an awkward teacher yes but after a few encouraging words their little doubtful faces went away, and once they got it right he would be like "See? I told you, you could do it."

Those memes that are like "Percy from his pov" and it's him just thinking he's an average teenage boy and then the "From everyone else's pov" and he's like a god are so accurate he's a little bit mesmerizing ngl.

overall I like Percy, but we're both trying to figure each other out and its so obvious. I wouldn't say we're friends yet, but we might be getting there. slowly but surely 😭

as of right now our relationship is that of two people forced into a group project for school that are slowly getting to know each other

[carriesthewind]

Good evening everyone! As I said in an answer to a previous ask, there wasn't a public call-in line to listen to the Show Cause Hearing in Mata v Avianca (the ChatGBT lawyer case) today.

However, while we are waiting for a transcript of the hearing (because there was a court reporter! yay!) and a written decision by the judge, we did get this absolutely anxiety-inducing live tweet of the hearing:

(Caveat: this thread was not an official transcript of the hearing and should not be taken as such. It is possible the actual events and statements made in the hearing differ significantly from this report - i.e., take this with a grain of salt and reserve final judgement for the actual transcript.)

I'll put the full thread with some (light) commentary below the cut.* But the overall impression I am left with is that the judge seems to feel this pair of attorneys are treating their duty of candor toward the tribunal with the same seriousness with which they are treating their duty of competence to their clients. (And in this case, that's a very bad thing.)

*The full thread except for a soon-to-follow part 2 because I ran out of space for images again.

(All of the following screenshots are from the above tweet thread by Inner City Press @ innercitypress on twitter, made on June 8, 2023.)

Normally I would overlook that "you, personally," but in this case, you really get the feeling that the judge is concerned that LoDuca might just start talking about what Schwartz did again.

Establishing LoDuca's base of knowledge - he should know how to look up cases and check if they are real; he should know what a real case looks like.

The March 1 submission was the plaintiff's opposition to the motion to dismiss, where they first cited the fake cases.

How bad this answer is depends, I think, on LoDuca's wording here. Best case scenario, his statement about Schwartz was a specific statement about what inquiry was reasonable for him to do under the circumstances (which - for that first filing - I think is actually a reasonable argument. You don't expect your colleague to just make up cases). Worst case, this reads like him trying to wiggle out of his obligations. I will withhold judgement until I see the official transcript.

Rule 11, by the way, refers to Rule 11 of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. Rule 11(b) states:

(If you remember the Order to Show Cause, we are dealing with a Rule 11(b)(2) issue here. Rule 11(c) allows the court to impose sanctions for violations of Rule 11(b))

Oh no, bad answer. (If anyone reading this is good at photoshop, I cannot express how badly I want a version of the "this sign can't stop me because I can't read" meme with the sign being the quote from defendant's reply where they say, "The undersigned has not been able to locate this case by caption or citation, nor any case bearing any resemblance to it.")

Oh that is not a good way of characterizing those orders. (Those were the orders, remember, where the Court said, "By April 18, 2022, Peter LoDuca, counsel of record for plaintiff, shall file an affidavit annexing copies of the following cases cited in his submission to this Court: as set forth herein. Failure to comply will result in dismissal of the action pursuant to Rule 41 (b), Fed. R. Civ. P.")

I would simply perish on the spot.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention in my original attempted summary of "Varghese" - the first paragraph states that it is a wrongful death suit by the widow of the passenger. Then the second paragraph states that the passenger was denied boarding on a flight due to overbooking and thus missed his connecting flight and therefore incurred additional expenses. The case was such nonsense that I legitimately forgot about that inconsistency by the time I got to the end.

Your honor I plead "2 stupid 2 sanction."

(I believe the "different fonts" is in reference to the April 25 affidavit, in which the case names - and some of the surrounding text - are in a different font from most of the text in the affidavit. It seems like this is because they may have been copied straight from ChatGPT. See e.g., #3 below. It's hard to tell just based on this twitter thread, though.)

A short and simple answer! You did it!

"I have all the answers I need" is not a good sentence in this context.

Very genuinely: shorter is better here. At least I don't think he hurt himself with that statement.

Judge Castel: How do you conduct legal research?

Schwartz: I research cases.

Judge Castel: Do you read them?

Schwartz: Well, I may have once upon a time, but after hearing you ask that question in this context, I have decided to retire from the practice of law forever and also possibly sink into the ground and die. Also, by answering "yes," here, I just realized that I'm either admitting that I read the cases I submitted and therefore must have known they were fake, or else I just possibly committed perjury. Oh shit oh fuck.

Oh god I'm cringing myself into a pretzel just reading this.

Hey, by the way? You can actually use google (esp. google scholar) to do legal research. (It's not a good tool and you will miss things, but it will do in a pinch.) But. Um. If you know that...why didn't you double check your cases at very least on google when you were told they seemed to be made up?

So, once again, I am going to withhold judgement until I see the actual transcript. That said, if Schwartz did say this, I would like to compare it briefly to a part of the chat transcript he provided to the court. Here is the first question asked about the Montreal Convention in the provided transcript:

"analysis"

Oh god. I can't even provide commentary on this one. I hope this is worse than the actual transcript will prove to be. I'm reading through my fingers like I'm watching a horror movie.

"Misperception" (or "misconception") doesn't work once you have evidence that should cause you to doubt - like not being able to find a case that was supposedly published in the Federal fucking Reporter.

This is overshooting "2 stupid 2 sanction" into "too stupid to function."* You either looked for "Varghese" or you didn't. If you looked for "Varghese," it is not credible that you continued to have a good faith assumption that ChatGPT couldn't lie. If you didn't look up "Varghese," you just lied to the Court under oath.

*Just to be clear: for an ordinary person, this would be a very understandable lack of knowledge issue. A lawyer has no excuse not to know this.

Judge Castel: Mr. Schwartz, I think you have the fucking audacity to try to lie to me to my face in my fucking courtroom.

Honestly at this point I'm surprised he could still talk. I think screaming, "I'm melting, I'm melting!" as he vanished into steam, leaving his crumpled suit behind, would be an appropriate response.

NO.

Oh no, oh honey.

Ok. Two options here (again, assuming he actually fucking said "They said they couldn't find them," in response to the Court asking, "When Avianca said you cited non existent cases?"):

Schwartz is once again trying to purposefully downplay what the defendant's reply brief actually said and dodge responsibility.

Schwartz honestly, truly believes that when the defendant filed a reply containing the line, "The undersigned has not been able to locate this case by caption or citation, nor any case bearing any resemblance to it," they were just asking for assistance with their legal research?!??!

I honestly don't know which is worse.

Oh no....

Oh man, I haven't gone over it here yet, but I think that "I looked up the judge" is a panicked attempt at bringing up a talking point the Professional Responsibility Lawyers raised in their memorandum of law. (Again, I'm giving this reading of his response with the caveat that it is based only on this thread, not the official transcript, which might read very differently and contain different/more info.) The Professional Responsibility attorneys noted in a footnote that two of the judges listed in the "opinion," including the "author," were actual 11th circuit judges, and the other is an actual 5th circuit judge. My read of this footnote was as an extra little detail tossed in by the Professional Responsibility attorneys to try to dress up their argument that the "opinions" had various "indicia of authenticity."

But here's the problem. If Schwartz is telling the truth - if he was reading carefully and critically enough that he bothered to look up the judge (why would you do that if you didn't think the case might be fake?!) there is no way he could have missed that the case was gibberish. Again, if this is really what he said at the hearing, he either lied in the hearing, or he must have know the "opinions" were bogus when he gave them to LoDuca to file.

"Did it cross your mind" - if the court actually said this, oh my god.

Hey, that's the point that I made in my original post(s)!

This whole thing about the "+h" to "th" with the notary date is from the recent affidavits filed on 6/6/23, you can read them about them if you want, I'll be honest, I don't really care as much about the notary stuff so I'm going to skip it for the moment.

....and I've run out of space for images again. Part II to follow shortly!

[denwritesandcries]

YJS HCs – body types

Pairings: Yellowjackets x fem!reader

Summary: Okay so, I was thinking about body types so I could add details to my Shauna fic, really small things like skin marks and other stuff and that made me think about the other yjs too. I'm not used to writing headcanons, but here are a few that I couldn't get out of my head.

Word count: 1,9k.

Content: my personal headcanons, cursing, suggestive, fluff, insecurities, hurt/comfort, recent pop culture references so i guess modern!AU??

Note: This is so random and specific I don't think anyone will read it but I wanted to write it so badly.

English is not my first language.

shauna shipman

- I think Shauna is the most athletic of the girls, since in the first episode it’s said that she is the fastest on the team. Not necessarily thin; she is solid. Solid and warm. A warm wall seeking your touch all the time.

- She would always try to keep one hand on you and every time she touched you, her skin would be scalding hot, as if she barely needed gloves in the winter and only wore them because you told her to.

- Big spoon! She likes to wrap her arms around you and let her body wrap you completely when you cuddle or sleep together, her weight relaxing against you.

- Shauna is strong, like really strong and she knows it, her arms and legs are toned from training and she takes advantage of this to tease you at any opportunity, carrying things for you willingly (your backpack, shopping, whatever, she would be exactly like the *aggressively moves all groceries to one hand to hold yours* meme), rolling up the sleeves of her flannels ‘cause the muscles stand out, pressing you against walls/counters or simply carrying you during makeout sessions and nothing you do will take away the smug smile on her lips – well, barely nothing.

- She would also wear tank tops and shorts frequently just to make you nervous and receive compliments. It's ridiculous ‘cause she really thinks she's being subtle (she isn't).

“Shaunie, you sure you don’t want a jacket?”

“No, I’m good like that.” She's not, but she won't admit it.

“It’s raining.” You insist.

“The cold doesn't bother me anyway.” She shrugs, but leans back against you, placing her chin on your shoulder.

You snort, “Sure thing then, Elsa.”

- Shauna has a happy trail! Little baby hairs going up to her navel where she melts into a puddle when you caress her, goosebumps covering her skin in the same second.

van palmer

- I believe Van has rough hands from her goalie gloves! They're always warm even if the rest of her body isn't ‘cause of the constant movement – she expresses herself a lot with her hands too. She likes to run them down your sides just to see how your skin crawls, sometimes she does it out of nowhere just to scare you because she thinks it's funny.

- I think her skin is very sensitive, the kind that's full of moles and burns easily in the sun – you're constantly reminding her to put on sunscreen, but it's no use – she loves it when you trace patterns on her spots before bed or when you're bored somewhere.

- Her skin being so sensitive also means that hickeys and scratches are really hard to hide on her. She doesn't mind, in fact she seems to enjoy it a lot, you catch her a lot of times watching the marks spread across her shoulders and neck as they take days to disappear. That doesn't stop her from teasing you tho.

“It's been a week and there's still a purple mark on my neck. What are you, a damn vampire?” She mocks.

“Nah, you act like you wouldn't love me to be your Edward Cullen.”

She lifts her chin at you, “A leech then.”

"Van!"

- She has a belly and is very proud of it! She says it's the best for defending the goal and that it makes her fall to catch the ball less painful; She'll flex her muscles like a gym athlete when she's changing playfully just to seduce you (it works every time). She loves it when she lies in your arms after a bad day and you squish her tightly, it helps her calm down.

- She also has a happy trail, but she is too ticklish, like really ticklish. Many of your makeout sessions end up interrupted by her giggling when you drag your hands too softly under her shirt, she prefers firm touches.

- Van definitely has lots of small scars spread across her body from accidents over the years, that little weirdo (affectionate).

nat scatorccio

- Nat is as pale as a ghost, it would be impossible not to notice when you made her blush for any reason. She would try to distract you so you don't pay attention to it, but it wouldn't put off anything.

- The dark circles under her eyes are extremely pronounced, both due to her paleness and the heavy makeup she wears, so you always know when she's had a bad day or simply hasn't slept enough. She will complain incessantly about you making her stop and rest, but she will always do what you ask.

- I truly believe that she has lots and lots of moles all over her body, especially on her back.

- Some are bigger than others, large spots on the skin and she pretends that her heart doesn't warm with the fascination you have for them, but the prominent red face says everything you need to know.

“They look like small constellations, Nat," you sigh dreamily, hands soft on her naked skin, “Man, I wish I knew a single shit about stars so I could name them.”

“I’m shirtless in front of you and that’s what you’re thinking about?”

- I think she would have a lot of acne, especially on her face from sleeping and forgetting to take off her cheap makeup often, you would have to do a skin care routine together for her to really start taking care of it.

- She definitely has a tattoo scar that she got from one of those shady professionals before she was eighteen and didn't take care of it properly. You almost freaked out when she showed it to you out of fear that it would get infected. In the end she ended up with a weird drawing and a skin failure, but for Nat it was totally worth it, she says it makes her look like a badass (it's definitely not just because you kiss the mark every time you see it).

lottie matthews

- Alright then, let me tell you, this girl is FREEZING from head to toe. No matter how well she dresses up, her whole body will remain strangely cold, which worries you at a certain point, so what better way to keep her warm than to have her glued to you like a koala all day?

- She would place her cold hands on your neck just to bother you and then smile innocently when you took them in yours to rub them and blow warm air on them. That smartass.

- Lottie is tall (at least a lot taller than me) and I think she would have a lot of growth marks, you don't grow like that as a teenager without some.

- Light streaks on the back, hips, legs and thighs that would vary in tone over time. I think she would have the habit of hiding them so that people wouldn't comment, wearing long stockings with her skirts at school parties.

- She would be so flustreaded if you showed that you liked them by running your hands up her inner thighs, scratching her back gently to feel the smooth texture of the taut skin. It makes her feel so loved.

- She has sun spots on her face, around her eyes and cheeks. You think it's so beautiful that you could admire it for hours, anywhere, but you usually do it in bed in the morning.

“Are you watching me sleep, dear?” Lottie mumbles as she wakes to find you giving her a love gauze.

“Hm-hm,” you deny quietly, “‘Not watching you sleep. I’m watching you.”

“Oh.”

jackie taylor

- Now, Jackie would have stretch marks and be completely insecure about them. The girl needs constant validation about everything that concerns her and you better give it to her, she just wants to feel loved.

- Marks on her hips and chest that most of the time wouldn't even be visible, but she would still remember they were there. You run your hands down her sides as gently as possible and she will have tears in her eyes as you snuggle, heart warm.

- Your support helps her feel more comfortable with her own body over time, but she still wants compliments every day and will give you hints ‘til you comply with her requests.

- Jackie has freckles! This is actually one of the things she likes most about her face, the trail of dots around her nose and eyes. She’ll melt into a puddle on the floor if you start to kiss them one by one, but will lose patience if you decide to count them and stop the act of leaving wet kisses on them. She's not very good at waiting.

“Babe!” She whimpers.

“Just a second, sweetie, I’m almost finishing.” You continue, a look of pure concentration on your face, muttering “35, 36, 37…”

“No.” She says, hand grabbing the collar of your t-shirt and pulling you against her, “Come back now.”

- Jackie isn't necessarily icy, but she gets cold very easily and isn't shy about asking for your coat or jacket when you're together. Your girlfriend is a princess, better treat her like one. She'll squeeze her body against yours in bed and steal the blankets to stay warm.

- She has spots on her arms! Hundreds of light spots on the outside of the wrists to the shoulders, it's almost imperceptible, but so cute. Make sure to always let her know how beautiful she is.

misty quigley

- I think Misty has acne scars on her shoulders and cheeks, little red dots spreaded. She don't mind it most of time, but can be very insecure about it.

- She would be really suspicious if you just showered her with compliments out of nowhere just ‘cause you think she’s upset, so acting is better. Actions speak more to her.

- Place soft kisses on her shoulders, gently bite her cheek so she rolls her eyes in that nervous way she does. Make her feel beautiful as she is – because she is.

- She would be so pleased with you spoiling her that she would pretend to be sad about it a lot of times just to get your attention, she is an evil little genius. It’s captivating.

- She has freckles too! Little dots on her face so lightly that you only see them when she takes off her glasses, but they are there.

“I kiss you everyday, how did I never notice your freckles before?”

“Oh, I don't know.” She shrugs innocently, “Maybe you should take a closer look, baby.”

- She thinks she's so smooth but in reality she's a mess, the girl can't pick up social cues to save her life.

tai turner

- Okay so, Tai is the type who takes the football really seriously and works hard to win and to do that she would try to stay in shape as much as possible. I can easily imagine her doing extra training sessions and her friends teasing her about it, ‘cause Tai, it's a high school team.

- Because of this, I think she would have stretch marks on her back and calves, light fine lines that stand out against her dark skin. These are marks of her effort, so she shows them with great pride.

- She gets very smug and her skin crawls when you run your nails over the marks on her back.

- Tai is strong, strong enough to break someones leg on the field (sorry not sorry allie) and will show off for it whenever she gets the chance. She likes to wrap her arms around you from behind and lift you off the ground when she's passing by.

- She has sun spots on her face and arms! You think it's so cute, but if you say something silly and cheesy about it she'll roll her eyes and tell you to stop embarrassing her.

You sigh, “You are so, so pretty, Tai.”

“And you are so, so lame.” She echos, “...Come here, let me kiss you.”

- Happy wife, happy life. Always make her feel appreciated, she deserves it.

[crabbunch]

for @mcyt-aro-week - day 4 - aplatonic/space

Here's the thing: Ken doesn't... love people.

Not that he minds them or anything! He enjoys talking with people, and there are people who he knows well enough to call his friends, and in general, he likes people, he really does, he just...

He doesn't love them.

He's spent a lot of time thinking about it, too. What love qualifies as. What gives him the right to finally, definitively say no, I will never love anyone in any way, ever.

Maybe it's not a right at all. Maybe it's just something he can do. It's not like it's hurting anyone.

It had started with Wato- because before that, he had been alone, or at least distant enough from other people that it wouldn't have made sense to love them. Or maybe it would have- maybe other people would have. Ken doesn't...

But when he and Wato had hit it off and started hanging out more, they'd also started telling him I love you. It had been casual, easy to miss- see you tomorrow, I love you, goodbye- thrown in a jumble of words, and Ken had replied easily enough.

He hadn't meant it, though.

The thing was- he'd always hated it when people saved the sentiment for romance. He wanted to be able to throw it around in whatever context he wanted- it's just that he was lying. And it felt... uncomfortable.

So he doesn't love people. It's just- a thing, a fact about Ken that people know if they're close enough to him. Ken likes escape rooms and prisons, Ken can fit 24 marshmallows in his mouth if he really tries, and Ken doesn't love people.

The problem. That is making itself clear to him now, though.

He never told Wato- not really. They just kind of fell into it together. Ken never realized anything and neither did Wato. That's how it works with everyone. He doesn't give a- a disclaimer, before he goes out and makes friends- oh, hey, before we hang out too much, just wanted to let you know I'll never love you- and it doesn't matter, because his feelings don't have to effect his actions at all! Eventually, the pieces fall into place, and everyone just knows that Ken doesn't love people.

But. Ken has known Wifies for several months now. And he doesn't seem to have gotten the memo.

It's not Wifies fault! It's probably a little bit Ken's fault, but he doesn't know how to explain it to Wifies. He's never explained it to anyone! He doesn't know why it's bugging him, anyways, because shouldn't things be okay as long as Ken knows that this isn't love? But Wifies doesn't know, and he looks at Ken like he expects him to love him, and it's really kind of the worst.

So really he just needs to bite the bullet and text him.

Ken throws his com across the room and slumps to the ground, tail twitching.

Here's the other problem: Wifies looks at Ken like he hung the moon over the stars, which is weird, because Ken didn't even do anything special. He did the bare minimum to help him out, and now Wifies treats him like some saint. It leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

He doesn't want to hurt Wifies, though- he's the kind of person who'd take it the wrong way if Ken told him that he didn't love people. He's still... he doesn't think of himself as a person, sometimes, and Ken wants him to be happy and know that Ken doesn't hate him or think badly but argh-

He doesn't love him.

Ken stands up again and starts pacing, tail lashing furiously. He doesn't want Wifies to feel like he wasn't- good enough for Ken, or anything dumb like that, but he doesn't want the misconception to keep going. He doesn't want-

There's really no reason to be this upset. Sometimes he wonders- if he's making too big of a deal over it, because if it doesn't make a difference whether he loves someone or not, than why is he so hung up on it? It's just- there's something in his stomach, and it twists around when people expect him to reciprocate, because he can't, and- and-

Ken scoops up his com again and opens up his chat with Wifies. He frowns down the meme he sent a couple of hours ago, and snaps it shut. He doesn't know what to say. He doesn't even want to say anything- it's just that letting things continue like this feels unbearable sometimes.

It's cruel to Wifies, to keep up the charade, and it's cruel to himself, and Ken-

Well. He's not a selfless person. He's actually really greedy, and overly critical, and he knows that, he knows his flaws, but he doesn't think this- this has never been one. The avoidance, though- maybe when he says I don't want Wifies to blame himself he means I don't want Wifies to blame me, and that would be bad of him. Selfish.

Because Wifies deserves to know that Ken doesn't love him.

Ken takes a deep breath, and opens his com.

<Ken> hey btw i dont love people

<Ken> just letting you know

That sucked! He shuts it again and flops onto the cold, unforgiving floor. He's not going to open the com again, because he doesn't want to know what- oh, it flashes, presumably because Wifies has replied, and his stupid, traitorous hands open it back up without his permission. Don't they know that curiosity killed the cat?

<Wifies> Oh, okay?

<Wifies> I'm not sure what you mean by that.

Aaaaugh explaining things is awful! Ken brings a finger to his mouth and bites down on it as he types with his other hand.

<Ken> like i dont love you

<Ken> but its not because you're you or anything just cuz i dont love anyone

<Ken> its just. a thing i guess. and i thought you deserved to know.

He drums his fingers anxiously against his cheek as little dots bubble down and back up again. Wifies is taking a long time to respond- but he always does, because he types like a grandma, so Ken is reading into things too much. Unless he's not.

<Wifies> Oh, okay, I see.

<Wifies> Thanks for telling me!

What does he mean by that!!!!

Ken huffs, and stands up again. It's not a problem. Wifies seems happy enough, and Ken being unable to fathom the way his brain works is nothing new. He-

<Wifies> I've just got one question, though.

Huh?

<Wifies> Why'd you call me 'my Wifies' if you didn't love me?

<Ken> what? what does that have to do with love?

<Wifies> Oh. Nothing, I guess.

Well! Whatever. Ken throws his com at the wall again- a couple of sparks fly out, which means that he probably broke it this time, but that'll be a problem for future Ken, because he already solved one problem probably mostly tonight, and that is far exceeding his daily problem-solving quota.

[wizardsnorlax]

Ok so update on the Spiral Jon fic I'm writing: I'm getting it onto Ao3 bit by bit because it's super difficult to write on mobile, but I need to take a break and get ideas for the season three events out before they get lost, here's a link to the season 2 notes

Ok here we go

Melanie does not join the Archives, this is for the best

At one point in season 2 Jon gave Sasha Georgie's contact info for "in case of emergency" use so Sasha is gonna be (mostly) ok she just needs to pop an allergy pill every once in a while

Sasha might be good with the hardware of a computer but the software might as well be a completely different language so she's very little help with Georgie's show

Jon takes to reading Statements like I took to weed gummies

Sasha follows about the same trail of clues as Jon did in Canon but Daisy's grip on Sasha is a bit harder to hold so Sasha gets claw slashes on her arms instead of a knife at the throat

Things that have changed about Jon while Sasha was gone: his hair now has ringlet curls, the extra flexibility in his joints has progressed but not to the point anyone has noticed let alone would consider a problem and his eyes are twitchy from the stress of filling her position to the point he looks like he's constantly ODed on caffeine

Sasha gets back in the office and when everyone learns they can't quit or be fired Jon makes it his personal mission to be as much of a menace to Elias as possible

but he'd never do that to Sasha, she gets doodles of her hanging out with Cecil from Nightvale because she's a good boss:)

Martin scolds Tim for how he's been treating Jon and Sasha because of the changes caused by first and secondhand paranormal bullshit exposure

Jon gets to go out for drinks with people who actually like him

Everyone learns why Jon has a shirt that says "the difference between me and Superman is Superman has Super Vision, I need constant supervision

A discussion about who takes Jon home with them is had because at some point the poor goober lost his shoes and started trying to wrap around Martin like a belt

Sasha gets kidnapped on her way home

Michael helps her because some part remembers being an archival assistant and she's treated hers so much better than Gertrude did

Helen doesn't take Michael's place but the door still rejects him and the corridor collapses as both Sasha and Michael crash into Jon's new flat

Michael is freed but is in such bad shape he needs to be in the hospital for several weeks on recovery

Things attempt to be normal

Tim and Jon are menaces to Elias in very different ways

Jon doesn't want anyone traveling alone

Elias doesn't care but can't STAND the idea of Jon being there without a buffer so Sasha gets to have company on her trip, Tim goes to India and gets the ghost bullet, cue Mystery Mousketool meme

Martin, Basira and Daisy are handling the workload as best they can but since none of them are particularly suited to the task things go badly because Martin is terrible at direct leadership

When Sasha and Jon get kidnapped by Trevor and Julia, Sasha decides that the best way to clear some of the air is through lore dumping her backstory (still to be determined)

Jon is deemed suspicious by the false cop cause he does NOT look sober

Insert attempted police brutality interrupted by a shotgun

While the false cop is regenerating Jon gets the "how did you two meet" Statement from Julia

They get to the cabin and Jon freaks out a little at the idea of reading ANOTHER cursed book

Big relief when nobody gets eaten this time

Nobody ever believes him but Jon has kept every promise he's made (not that he's made many before but it's the principle of it)

Yoinks the page

Our duo finishes the assignment

Back home

Sasha learns about the storage unit

JON STOP REACHING FOR THE EXPLOSIVES YOU ABSOLUTE GREMLIN

Tim is EXTRA motivated to wreck shop at the Unknowing

Jon and Martin stay behind to be distractions

Big boom happens, Tim makes it out because the guy's literally too angry to die, Sasha is in the coma, Daisy is in the Coffin and Basira is just having a time of it

Jon gets mind fondled by Elias and it makes Martin want to rip the bastard's throat out but the best he can do is have the cops rough him up as much as possible

Jon is temporary head of the Archives and the pressure swallows him whole and he crashes like a meteorite because he desperately doesn't want to be the one giving orders

Martin's "assistance" has been leaving cobwebs in places nobody checks

And thus we enter season 4

[slushiesandshowtunesat3am]

I wish I could insert that meme of a point over someone’s head because these Anons are laughable. How are they missing the point this badly. There is no way they are mature adults, surely there is no fucking way. Not crowding the tags was literally one of the points being made. That is if people correctly tag/labeled there would be no crowding. Also if fucking tumblr would fix the tags, that’d also be great! If people want to not be diverse when creating their fics by all means that’s their prerogative, just let people know in advance. The point of “reader” is so that ANYONE can envision themselves or any stranger into a story, otherwise OC is RIGHT THERE! Or just add race/height/weight/etc. reader and all is well. Also engagement was one of the points being made as well. And it went right over their head.

I’m sure your posts are geared to those who don’t know and are just learning, because we all know those who don’t want to be kind and diverse will never be. Seeing by some of those Anon asks you got…. there isn’t any amount of talking, education, and kindness to help those “people”. They told us loud and clear what type of “humans” they are. Also people ~blocking~ is a thing. The button is right there if you feel “they’re crowding” tags. Just fucking block, this isn’t an airport. Also tumblr is broken that even if you have zero tags you will still appear in all sorts of tags that aren’t even related to the subject. Complain elsewhere! Also the fucking nerve of them to be like I DO WHAT I WANT, WHEN I WANT and then proceed to tell you what to do!

Imagine if I went and bitched at everyone crowding the tags it’d be a full time job and *insert ain’t nobody got time for that meme*.

*Also please no one take a shot for every time I say Also lol. *insert Ana from Frozen waking up meme*

This. Just this, thank you, my love.

For anyone else, I'm sorry, if you send me another message about me clogging up tags, I'm blocking you.

I've made like 5 posts, there are thousands of fics in the tags I include. You'll be okay, I promise.

Just block me if it bothers you so much, but I'm going to make sure that what I'm saying reaches those it's made to: writers who need to hear it and readers who need to know they're heard.

[thunder-point]

Cole I'm sorry but I suddenly remembered this super funny thing that maybe is only funny to ME AHSGH but like.

so there's this popular meme(?) from Mean Girls where they're all talking about Regina like yeah she's flawless she has two Fendi purses etc.- and then Bethany goes "one time she punched me in the face ... it was awesome."

now imagine (because I'm terrible at video meme-ing) Peem's friends describing Peem. YEAH Peem's a great artist, he's kind and pretty , yeah he's so patient and loving—and then there's Phum— "one time he kicked me in the balls...it was awesome."

if anyone is reading this ask and CAN make this into a thing, please do 😔🙏

i don't know how to edit, or to draw, i just know how to yap (badly at times) so i will try to do my best for you my beloved.

but -- reading this i imagined a whole scenario that is solely ridiculous and maybe tender.

so i will say it to you, and i hope it puts a smile on your face.

as always. IMAGINE:

they are at parkingtoys for a night of drinking. the whole extended squad. and phumpeem have been official for a few weeks. still in their third year of university. so the situation is as it goes:

there's a senior from year 4 that peem really, but really respects. like so much. and he's so shy around this guy, because his technique for painting water is literal perfection or something.

let's call him... Top. Alright.

So that evening Top spots their big table, namely spots Peem and Q, and comes to salute them and ask how it's going with exams or something. And listen, Peem's friends know how Peem gets around this guy. How he gushes about his skill. Q has tried to make Peem go and ask for his Instagram for a while now, just so they can talk about painting and Peem can tell Top directly how much he loves his work.

So as soon as Top comes in and Peem greets him with a lowered head, a bashful smile and shyness in his voice, his friends jump to action.

"It's going great," Q starts, draping a casual arm around Peem. "This guy here got his third A in a row. I think I might have a competition this year for the third-year student with straight As on exams."

"I'm glad to hear that." Top smiles, before he looks around. "I see you guys made some new friends, too."

"All Peem's fault!" Tan cuts in, too solemn for his words. "He's just so friendly, you know? He charmed everyone in Engineering."

"So charming," Pun slurs out with a nod, way beyond tipsy. "Such a good friend."

"Have you had the pleasure of being his friend, Top?" Chain asks nonchalantly, despite doing his best to keep Pun upright. "Just saying, he's a pretty talented guy. You guys could talk about paints. Or something."

"Guys," Peem groans behind his palm, barely able to peek a look at a very amused Top.

And Phum? Well, he's just very confused. Like, Fang, Beer and Mick are confused. But Phum is truly confused. Maybe because he's a bit tipsy, or because their friends sound like they are trying to hook Peem, his boyfriend, with this guy. He knows a bit about Top. Knows that Peem kind of idolizes him. But why did Pun have to mention that he's charming?

At this point, Phum kind of wants to yank Peem under his arm and keep him hidden from the world. But then Top says, "I would love to be his friend, of course." And Peem's eyes get those glittering, dancing delights in his eyes, and he's peering at Top like he's bringing him a foreign part of the world, and how could Phum deny his boyfriend of this happiness?

So he tries to help, tries to join the charade of chatting Peem up -- platonically, of course.

Key word, tries.

He makes obvious eye contact with Top, face earnest, and he declares, "One time he kicked me in the balls... It was awesome. He's awesome."

Top blinks.

The table goes quiet, stupefied, except for Peem, who chokes on the drink he was having at that moment. He sputters the drink onto the table, and Phum immediately cups his cheeks to check if he's okay.

"Phum," Peem croaks, lips shiny with liquid and spit and eyes incredulous. "You can't just- Can't just say-"

At that point, Q and Chain begin to guffaw so hard Pun falls because of it, no longer supported by Chain. Tan is hiding his face behind a very amused Fang.

"What?" Phum mumbles, and then he throws his head back to give Top a frowny glance. "But he is awesome, even when he's angry. Trust me. Doesn't even matter that I went to the hospital because of-"

"Phum," Peem groans, hands trying desperately to cover Phum's mouth, to bring his head back. Phum is still babbling a bit. Just a bit. Because he needs to let this guy know just how awesome his boyfriend is. But then nimble fingers push into his lips and Peem murmurs, "Baby, that's enough. C'mere."

And Phum- Well. He flushes quicker than one can blink, before he buries his face in Peem's neck, who makes an endeared oof, despite embarrassment still coursing through him.

"And now he's shy," Q snorts. "Jesus fuck, Peem. Your boyfriend is something else.

It's that Peem rarely calls him baby in public, okay? And maybe he's more than a bit tipsy.

He hears Top say, "I didn't know you were in a relationship."

Phum makes sure to turn around just enough to give Top a look, before he says, "He is. Only I can get kicked in the balls by him, get it-"

Peem shoves Phum's face back in his neck with a choked-up sound, "I think we need to go. Enough alcohol for you."

Phum lets out a soft sound, arms coming around Peem's dainty waist. He nuzzles his collarbone. "Whatever you want, baby."

AAAND YEAH. JUST. Just endearment. I hope this was a fun read for you, alan

[blond-jerk-tourney]

Strawberry Bracket: Bracket Finals

Propaganda from submitters Under Cut

Nanami Kiryuu

She's the mean girl of the show, and a pretty interesting take on the "bitchy vain school rival of the protagonist" trope. She spends most of her early screentime being a bully and most of her later screentime being both the biggest loser imaginable and deeply sad/troubled (which still does not erase how much of an asshole she can be). She even laughs like your stereotypical mean rich girl. Nanami has so many problems and sucks so so bad. I adore her.

Shes a psychotic bully who seeks to ruin the lives and reputations of any girl who gets more of her brothers attention than she does. Reasons Nanami Kiryuu deserves to win: - she has made many attempts at physical and psychological terrorism against Anthy Himemiya (including a plotted wardrobe malfunction at a crowded social gathering) simply for drawing more of her brother's attention than her - tried to fill Anthy's bedroom with wild animals (a snail, a snake, and a live octopus) to make her out to be a freak only to find that her room was already full of wild animals - she bankrolled an elementary schoolers crush on her to turn him into her personal boyservant - briefly non-personed a member of her bully entourage for sharing an umbrella with her brother - received a luxury cowbell due to a shipping error and smugly wore it to school for weeks flaunting it like high coture - when her bully entourage rebelled against her due to her brothers manipulation she brought them back in line by just straight up beating the shit out of all of them - all in all just a petty, goonish motherfucker (she also does the ohohohohoho anime girl laugh)

she's blond: despite being Japanese her hair is yellow, unlike her brother's. yellow is even her image color. she's a jerk: introduced as a jealous and dishonest scheming bully, she is one of the more outwardly antagonistic characters in a cast where pretty much everyone is a Real Piece Of Work she's the best: the quintessential ohoho-laughing ojou, her fully-realized character arc makes people both laugh and cry even her sidekick is a blond jerk! how many blond jerks have their own blond jerk sidekick?

i don't know what you've heard but she's NOT the kind of girl who lays eggs!

The token mean rich girl of the franchise. Does the classic "ohohoho" laugh. Doesn't like either of our main characters. She never actually seems to get her way, and secretly has a lot of her own problems. also she lays eggs and turns into a cow

Absolutely THE quintessential anime mean girl. I mean literally her laughing is THE meme for the hohohoho anime laugh. Needs attention So Badly and straight up bullies anyone she deems a threat to that (so basically Everyone). I haven’t finished RGU but apparently she duels with the intent to kill and drowned a kitten once because it was taking up too much of her brother’s attention? Also she’s 13 which explains a lot

Char Aznable

He's extremely blonde and he's a total asshole. he has had a gay thing with 2 people and tried to kill both of them. he makes a new identity and its arguably more blonde and more of an asshole. look up Quattro Bajeena

Snooty little motherfucker supreme. "I have never betrayed anyone in my life" says man who spent his whole career lying to people. He's in love with his rival and he won't admit it. He's my silly rabbit. He is the "I came here to laugh at you" guy

Char is an environmental terrorist who dropped space colonies of people living in space onto earth so people would leave earth for the earth to heal from human damage. He's a prince that should have been assassinated seducing the new prince while undercover to kill the family that killed his family. Anyway vote for Char. He stole the name Char from some other guy from space Texas who he caused the death of

Excuse me that's not char aznable that's quattro bajeena, why would you ever confuse the two :/

[moonyasnow]

All the characters I'd considered shipping my OCs with before I decided

Quick thing bc I'm bored

Not gonna include Lisle bc AroAce and also not Tomoe, since she existed before I decided to put all the others into TWST so shipping for her was just...kinda vibes-based, and not in the good way. Like I'd barely even figured out her character yet

And for Irina, Junia and Artemisia, the reason none of the others were chosen were literally just because their current partner was SO perfect for them I couldn't have gone with anyone else

Irina

Kalim (I think this is one of the more unhealthy relationships she could end up on. Not because he'd treat her badly, of course not; Kalim's just the sort who represses all his trauma (he straight up doesn't remember all the times he's been kidnapped) and I just feel like, paired with Irina, she'd just keep holding all the bad stuff in forever and pretending like everything's ok)

Ruggie (I think this would've been pretty cute. They're still good friends now though...and I honestly think they work better as just friends)

Floyd (Irina still literally had a crush on him before she fell for Malleus, so this one didn't even 100% go away. But yeah the reasons I considered it was because I think they match each other's freak in an interesting way. And Irina also knows exactly what it's like to always go through moodswings, so they can understand each other in that way. ...Irina would've loved the biting and squeezing so much tho-)

Leona (THE BAD TIMELINE. I'm not kidding. These two would in the best case scenario keep each other from improving and in the worst case actively make each other and their issues worse.)

Spike

Silver (literally the only NRC guy I could think of who'd be nice enough to be Spike's type)

Junia

Jade (Giving 'the straight-laced science girl' vibes but genderbent. Clueless autistic and clueful autistic)

Azul (I think it would've been cute bc Junia is the type who is just, so smitten with whoever she likes, and it's VERY obvious. And she'd think he was really really pretty and would love like, sitting in his lap when he scams people)

Veronica

@babyghoul138 :)

Ace (For a while I was actually even gonna go with this one long-term! Even made a meme including the ship and everything. Even started planning out a fankid! But then I realized I'd miscalculated and they just wouldn't work as well together as I thought. And I think Ace is just a bit too rough around the edges personality-wise for Veronica)

Sebek (This could actually have been a reaaaaaally interesting one. The thing that kept me from going with it was just that- Veronica wants to leave Briar Valley after she graduates. And Sebek would never leave Briar Valley. And as much as angst CAN be nice, I prefer it when couples are driven apart by stuff like war or disapproving families rather than just mundane stuff like that. Makes it too real, and just kinda depressing)

Victor

Jamil (Jamitor would be toxic yaoi central. Victor would be SUCH an enabler like 'yes, let's kick that smiling idiot (Kalim) to the curb and put you on the throne! Oh villainy looks so good on you~'. Then with their powers combined they would go on to rule the world.)

Azul (They've got suuuuuuuch similar trauma. And I imagine it'd start out with them 'dating' as like a business arrangement-- being married to each other would be good strategically for both of them and their goals; Azul gets access to a whole noble house's worth of funds and private lands, and Victor gets easy access to some of the best people in business. And then it'd turn into a thing of them both catching feelings realizing just how similar they are and can both relate to each other's trauma. They would also go on to rule the world.)

His ships with someone similar to him just made him too powerful

Artemisia

Idia (I decided not to go with this one 1) because as soon as Artemisia met Jamil I just know he'd be IT for her and 2) Artemidia would just kinda feel like them giving up and deciding to become hermits who don't leave their rooms TOGETHER and that to me was just way too sad)

Leona (They were already kinda friends in the background, and I couldn't stop thinking of the reference potential to Kimba the white lion. And just like with Idia, the biggest reason why not is Jamil.)

[orangetintedglasses]

@typhoonvash said: “Everything I love has always had a tendency to be taken from me.” stay with the high lord, and live to see everything righted // acotar memes

"... yeah. And you'd think that would've made it easier... to avoid feeling that way about... anything, you know? Anyone. But..."

Their paths, as far as he knows, are too similar for him not to understand that feeling; their timelines near identical, unlike the others he's met. And this Vash, too, has progressed as far as he has-- maybe farther, he isn't sure, and he doesn't know if it's right to ask --so Star understands, entirely, what the other means when he says something like that.

Something that makes his heart twist and writhe inside his chest and try to escape by way of launching out his throat--

But Star returns the sentiment with a wry smile of his own. Maybe he doesn't know Canary's full situation, yet, but his own has... definitely shifted. So, he continues, and he asks with a light, mirthless laugh: "hey, did you ever try and make that promise to yourself? That you'd never let it happen because of how badly someone else would get hurt? Especially after everything happened..."

And then that smile tightens, just a little bit at the corners.

"Did you break it, too~?"

[gyubby99]

@disneyanddisneyships um.

Alaponi smut headcanons

• Alastor gets off of Aponi's fear • That scary face of his and the radio screech lets her know he likes it • Alastor pounds on aponi with blood drool dripping from his mouth as he smiles menacingly and he looks like he's out of control • As soon as Aponi gets that hard c^ck out of his pants it's already glistening wet with pre-c^m • He likes to see Aponi struggling and helpless but in a good way sohe uses the tentacle thingy to hold her down and also obliterate her holes as he jerks off to the sight of aponi getting it with the tentacles (I've seen enough picrew ads to imagine this) • He shouts "oh dear" as he pounds onto Aponi • Aponi has to guide him through because hes never done this before • Im sorry but he is not gentle. This month is about HIM • He wouldn't talk about shit he would eat her out for surprise • He bites Aponi in places only he can see • He looks like an actual dark entity while fcking aponi you'd be impressed she could stay turned on and not scared • 10 to 15 times every october because deer • I wouldn't be surprised if he has a voodoo kink • Alastor makes her sign an agreement before they made it official that she will help him every october. He made her sign an actual agreement. On paper and everything. • Aponi teases him a lot but Al always gets his revenge. • He doesnt rip her clothes off. He lets her take them off and he waits patiently. • His d gets bigger everytime he slowly turns into his demon form • Headcanon alastor is actually feral it's not even a joke • Aponi has a small 'X' scar on her chest bc alastor wanted to "seal their deal" • Pain kink. • No lights on. Just his glowy red eyes and that menacing smile. • I think once Alastor has found his "mate" he will only be attracted to Aponi in that way. Like even if he's in heat and she's not around, he looks at other people and feel nothing. Which is why Live Linda is a rap- • Knife play • Aponi couldn't walk one time • Aftercare are dad jokes and jambalaya

Mal: pls let me sleep

~~~~~

Staticfly NSFW headcanons

• FILTH • Sin • Mal has developed electrokinesis kink because of him • Vox lets Mal suck his dick under the table when he's working when he's rlly horny • Vox records him and Mal fucking for when Mal is away and he needed it badly • Mal sends Vox "pics" • He electrocutes her when he fingers her pssy • He's sadistic (like any overlord is) and he likes seeing Mal whimper in pain as she feels the shock from her pssy when he electrocute n fingers her • He's a living taser and Mal is very much into it. • Vox is not opposed to being called "daddy" but he prefers "sir" • Mal is very vocal • She wants him to fck her in his full demon form because it gets bigger and she can see it from her stomach • Why do I think Vox has clear c^m.. like it's not white like others. Kinda resembling gasoline or something because he's an electronic demon • He blue-screens when Mal takes him in too good • Vox degrades Mal fr • "Yeah, take that in you little slut.. hm.. you're doing a great job.." • Pain kink. Both of them. • He has a lot of toys <3 • Mal screams with and without the S • Vox electrocutes her boobs and she's very much into it • Dont ask what happened if Mal suddenly couldn't walk • He gives her electrocute burns as hickies and he is very proud of himself for it. • He ties her down with cords that has grounds • Mal: Fuck me til' I forget both of our names. • Vox's servants, assistants and housekeepers all know they be fucking but the real action is only betaeen them both • Vox would be the type to say "I did that" to a pregnant Mal • Mal, regarding that statement: *buggs bunny communism meme* we • After a performance Vox fucks the shit out of Mal backstage • Vox is very aggresive and Mal is into it • Mal says "yes sir" nd Vox says "good girl" • Vox: You just can't get enough, can you? You're a horny little slut. *he chuckles and pounces on her* • Vox does not care if anyone hears Mal. Let the whore out • Not opposed to 3somes • Vox gave Mal a choke hand print scar and possibly an electrocution burn on her neck and Aponi was concerned and almost thought about domestic abuse • Mal plays with herself alone and Vox appears on the screen, amused. He says "wait for me later ;)" • Vox: Fuck.. you know how to get me so easily, huh, babe? • Never sleep in the room next to them if they're horny. Just don't. • With an overlord like Vox? Mal has a 'V' scar on her back • Both like it rough • The wedding night was uhhh... nice. • Aponi is still concerned.

[chimchiri]

Hii WB anon here and I'm back again!! Saw your posts about spitdash and oh my god, I love the way you actually acknowledge the unfortunate power dynamic and found a way to make it work!! I think it's very romantic how Spitfire chose to step down in order to date rainbows dash, it's adorable!! As always your art and headcanons are great. Speaking of headcanons!! Since you've mentioned soarin and spitfire dynamics a few times, can we have more about them/soarin as a whole? I do not remember if I've mentioned it in the last ask but soarin is my personal favorite, I have a closer bond to him since he's the reason I got into the wonderbolts in the first place. So I'd love to see if you have any headcanons about him (fyi I will probably go back into your ask box to ask about the others but for now we're focusing on soarin he needs his moment to shine)

You hold a special place in my heart for asking about the WB, Soarin and Spitty... Oof long text incoming about them!

One recurring hc I have is that they're childhood friends - even platonic soulmates.

I hc Spitfire to have had a lot of trouble making friends as a kid. Mainly because she had way too much energy, an insane competitive drive and quite the anger issues. She didn't have anything against other kids per se, she wasn't just mean. But her natural talent for flying and quick frustration when others wouldn't do as she wanted (like a partner not giving it their all during a race or a slower runner making it hard for her to pass them during a run/race) were a toxic combination and made her explode regularly. Hearing her shout and stomp in frustration wasn't uncommon. Naturally, kids used to avoid and/or gossip about her, even if she tried to find some friends and help others get to her level so they could do some friendly racing or sparring. Some kids may have provoked her, which would usually result in a brawl or some form of violence depending on the other kid's attitude, as soon as she felt her pride was harmed. Ultimately she didn't want to harm other per se. She was just hyper-focused on running, flying, anything adrenaline, and had a lot of trouble managing her emotions.

Insert Soarin: I mentioned that he definitely loves a good race and winning as much as the other Wonderbolts - a quality anyone has naturally in that position. But outside of a race, I hc him as the softest, most relaxed, and also most tired guy there is. He really just encapsulates this meme for me (just imagine there are also dark circles)

He's docile, friendly and (as a kid) very agreeable - which unfortunately, resulted in him having trouble finding true friends as well and getting bullied. While he got to tag along, he was often the butt of a joke due to his soft nature. Being used as a water boy or personal butler also was daily routine, which he accepted with a heavy heart. I hc Soarin to have a strong sense of justice and having very developed empathy even as a kid. He's a thinker, a strategist. He observes, notices and concludes. He's not stupid. He knows and can tell the other kids don't really like him and treat him badly, but he just wants to have some friends. Plus, he's not very courageous (as a kid) and doesn't want to face arguing and fighting. He just wants to be included.

His "friend" group doesn't like Spitfire and definitely called her a crazy devil. Soarin initially only heard bad and frankly, quite intimidating things about her. But after meeting her he quickly concludes that she's not a real threat and just has some trouble with her anger. But she's trying to be helpful and outside of any competition is actually rather calm and nice.

There's no specific hc how they met but it was definitely Soarin who tried to initiate contact and a friendship. And Spitfire who was probably wary about him due to his friend group. I love to think they connected very quickly and balanced each other out well. Soarin was the first kid who would race her no matter how often he'd lose and not get annoyed or angry at her. Which was because he immediately noticed that she doesn't like to put others down - she just loves to race, win and get better. After a while he also realized, that she loves any kind of improvement, really. Not just her own. She'd give him tips, train with him and would also get just as excited when he got better. She just loved adrenaline, training and most importantly - seeing improvement and success. For her or others. It's something Sptifire never noticed herself and it was Soarin who, years later, would mention it and ultimately be the reason why she would end up as captain of the Wonderbolts.

Kid Spitfire would be good for Soarin too: not only standing up to anyone who treated him badly, but also getting him to speak out for himself and say out his thoughts out loud.

Honestly, I just love them getting each other. Even when they're completely different in character. They look at each other and they just know. They know when the other is unwell or when there is something off. There is almost no secret they can keep from the other. They know what the other needs, wants, desires. And by adulthood, they'd trust each other with their life. UGH I really really love them as platonic soulmates.

They walk side by side in each others lives. They're a perfect match and in the Wonderbolts, as captain and deputy, they're an almost unstoppable team. Not only because they trust and care about each other like no one else, but also because they both can separate work from their personal feelings. They're both able to make decisions that may be unpleasant for their friendship but greatly benefit the Wonderbolts.

A characteristic also great in arguments btw: Just because they understand and get each other doesn't mean they always agree with each other. I imagine they definitely get into loud arguments. Soarin can be just as stubborn as Spitfire in some aspects, especially when he thinks he has the correct facts and logic on his side. (It's the stubborn, analytical science side of his.) Though for them, it's easy to not take arguing personal. They may get frustrated but they can clearly differentiate that the topic at hand is the problem and each other. So it's not uncommon for them to be arguing and shouting at each other and having casual, friendly lunch 15 min later. Something that the other Wonderbolts definitely have a hard time understanding.

Some last points: Soarin has never had any jealousy towards Spitfire, neither as a kid, nor as her deputy. And maybe it's exactly because of this why she's made him deputy and then captain after her departure. I imagine her stepping down (for romance of all things, which he later learns) is the first thing he truly, never ever saw coming. He's usually great at reading and anticipating her. But this? It takes him by COMPLETE surprise and he definitely has a very hard time accepting it. It's like a surreal fever dream. He may even have a small crisis, thinking that she'll be gone for good after - just leaving him behind. This fear probably takes a LOT of reassurance from Spitfire to calm him down again.

I've written way too much already, so I'll just end it with two short hcs:

1) He's got trouble with sleep and insomnia since teenage years. It's often a joke with friends or later on in the WBs. Jokes he usually goes along with or even initiates. Spitfire is one of the few people who know that it's more than just jokes, and that some days it really takes a hard toll on him. They used to share beds - which helped Soarin sleep - and still sometimes do in the WBs. Which also leads into:

2) In some AUs, I hc they did have some flings and physical/sexual experience with each other. But the details are too much and complex to write out and too nsfw to include into this post.