#worth it though I fucking love bismuth

[trashmammal-7]

Anyone else ever just have the most stupid hyperfixations? Like when I was 15 or 16 I was so obsessed with the element bismuth that you could not have a fucking conversation with me without learning some fact about it or me pulling out my phone to show you how it crystallizes.

[bigsteeb]

this is gonna be a long post so bear with me, growing pains got a b i g emotional reaction out of me & I need to share my thoughts & feelings about it because jesus fucking christ.

ok first things first, someone hug this boy immediately. he’s sat in his room, still in his pajamas, in day time watching dog copter. this whole scene is just steven going “lol I’m sad, I’m gonna comfort eat & stay in my pajamas & watch a kids show I watched when I wasn’t as sad haha” & it’s not only upsetting, but relatable too fuck. his room is a mess along with him eating ice cream at what I assume is morning… making it his breakfast? geez steven. also idk if it’s just me here but in this shot he looks… bigger? like ignoring his body size shifting later on in the episode he looks a lot wider than he usually does when paul & drew board episodes to me, he’s rivalling etienne & maya’s steven’s wideness. did he… get chubbier from comfort eating? how much time has passed since together forever for him to put on weight if he has? this could literally just be steven slouching or his pajamas making him look bigger but as someone who is an advocate for the body positivity shown in su & suf it has me curious. I want to hug this soft, sad boy. It could also be due to how steven’s design fluctuates through the animation process, it’s never really on model all the time. 

the grunting noise he makes in this scene is very distressing, as are other moments from the episode too. a glimpse at the glow-bracelet he proposed to connie with is enough to physically pain him? fuck me man. is he leaving his room where there’s already ice cream… to get more ice cream? sobs. also the puns in this shot. I cant? slow burn?! you’re evil crewniverse. not to mention his body size changing throughout this scene, god this poor lad.

screams, this was when I started worrying. the boy is now in an environment he has never been in before & is feeling extremely uncomfortable & vulnerable. look at the lines under his eyes, his sad eyebrows & pout I hate it. also don’t even get me started on this part. the slight raise of a voice being enough to send him into panic?! fuck I hate how much I relate to that. 

here’s where I immediately broke, no god damn pun intended. seeing steven’s skeleton, steven’s fucking skull, like this pained me. that crack on his skull is from fucking jasper in jail break. I can’t express all of the visceral emotions that were going through my body at this. there was intense sadness for steven, extreme anger at jasper & the gems for allowing shit like this to happen to him. turns out he’s not as resilient as we thought he was. each hit he takes physically breaks him & then his gem instantly heals his wounds, my heart fucking broke at this. think back to everything that happened to him, everything that physically hurt him. it broke him I can’t deal with it! then there’s what priyanka says to steven next;

“you seem to of made a series of miraculous recoveries, but that doesn't change the fact that you experienced trauma. you’ve recovered physically but, have you recovered mentally?”

this part here along with her reassuring him that there’s nothing wrong with his brain, how childhood trauma can have an impact on how your body responds to stress & how you act in your social life, the usage of the word “cortisol” too. this stuff being in a children's tv show is incredible. the writing for priyanka describes trauma simply enough for kids to understand, but for adults to fully realise too. folks, steven has ptsd. there wasn't one bit of sugarcoating about it or nothing, this is canon fact & it hurts me. for so long have I wanted steven’s emotional issues to be alked about, to not only be brought to steven’s attention but to the audience’s too.

everything that has happened to him has built up to this moment. this moment where his behaviour & coping methods are finally making sense to a large majority of the fandom, & to steven himself. he’s hurting; physically, mentally & emotionally, & he isn’t coping well what so ever about it. his emotional support system is complete garbage, no one regularly checks in on him & folks just take steven at face value like “oh yea glowing pink? he’s fine it’s just steven” but he’s the bad person?! I hope a lot of you out there who genuinely believe steven is a bad person re-think yourselves after this. dealing with trauma is tough as shit. some days you even wonder if that one thing that fucked you up is really worth being labelled as trauma. I still can’t believe this is the route they’re taking, if he doesn’t get some form of therapy by the end of future I’ll be furious.

then things begin to spiral as he remembers what happened with connie. he clutches his chest in pain & begins changing size over intense amounts of stress & it was extremely distressing to watch. steven immediately reassures connie that this isn’t because of her, but because of everything else that happened to him. however. I believe that that’s a slight lie, he wouldn’t of spiralled if he hadn’t of remembered the proposal, steven you fucking himbo. he continues to reassure them both that he’s fine, just that he needs them to leave so he can calm himself enough to control himself.

then this happens.

“I. CAN’T. BE AROUND YOU RIGHT NOW!”

this was fucking intense. he means this literally in 2 ways btw. his body size shifting over the stress he’s feeling is a danger to both connie & priyanka in this moment, but it’s also because of how it started. being around connie hurts him. he’s not mad at her though let me make that very clear, just that thinking about what happened when he tired to propose to her is sending his head in a fritz. he did what he did full of confidence in together forever, for connie to then make him realise how silly he was being. these two are destined for each other, but that advice from ruby & sapphire has really fucked with him. he looks up to those 2, looks up to garnet, their relationship is so strong & stable. for them to give him that advice & to then scream “DO IT!” in his face is incredibly tasteless imo.

then greg gets here. I knew connie was calling for either greg or the gems when she was on her phone as she left the room, fuck yea connie I love you. the breathless, strained “thank you” from steven towards connie for calling his dad? g o d. connie telling him she’ll be there for him when he’s ready?! g o d. these next boards were done by rebecca, I knew immediately when I saw steven’s face. it makes sense that rebecca boarded these, because fuck. 

how do I move on from all of the stuff I’ve been through? how do I live life if it always feels like I’m about to die!?

I’m tearing up as I type this. when I first heard the leak of this audio I so badly wanted to believe it, but to also believe it was fake too. I was an emotional mess off & on for about 3 days over it because I couldn't stop thinking about how fucking distressing it was. like… shit steven. he seriously feels this. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain he felt just saying this in front of his fucking dad. he is hurting badly. this boy, this sweet sweet boy we’ve watched grow & develop into the person he is today is distraught about his future & life. it is… soul crushing to watch this. a group of friends of mine have found joking about the episode as a form of coping with the intensity of it & as much as that’s valid as fuck, any joke coming from this episode feels morally wrong to me. I can’t bring myself to join in it feels terrible even thinking about laughing at it to cope. I love them all, but I can’t bare myself to join them. this moment ending with greg comforting steven, telling him he’s here for him & all of his struggles, got me weeping. greg is possible the best father figure I’ve seen on tv, let alone a kids tv show. he’s amazing.

the final scene right here is lovely. greg making steven a hot chocolate & listening to him vent, reassuring him over his worry for his future. this right here is exactly what steven needs. someone to talk to, someone he could trust to talk about his feelings to. this the start of his support system, tag on peri from in dreams, bis in bismuth casual as well as connie from the past few episodes & it’s already looking great! even when greg eased him about being there for him steven still feels guilty about him leaving his tour, leaving his tour because he got a phone call from connie about his son being in need & steven feels guilty about it. fucking hell man. I did enjoy how the episode ended though, with that little moment between the both of them;

“just get some rest kiddo. you don’t have to solve all of your problems in one night.”

“yea. thanks dad.”

it’s a great message too, all of your struggles can’t be dealt with all at once. I’ve used a similar analogy before but it’s like removing a dead tree. you have to deal with all of the little things surround this issue first before you get to the deep, harder stuff. along side the message about trauma they’re both very important messages, I’m glad they exist in the show.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

one more thing before I end my thoughts & feelings over growing pains.

this ending shot;

as soon as I saw the frog mug my mind raced back to the promo for this scene, & this whole moment to come entirely. if you remember this moment has the first set of leaked audio within it, the audio of the gems basically cornering steven about him not opening up to them. christ pearl even gets mad at him for his gem building a wall behind him, protecting him from them. it’s common knowledge, I hope, that steven’s gem reacts to his emotional state. pearl herself has said this;

“I think your gem is reacting to your state of mind.”

his gem building this wall? it felt like steven was being threatened by them. this scene now has awful connotations with it. because since we now know what the pink mode is doing to steven, how actually painful it is, think back to these;

yea. fuck the gems. I’ll let it slide if steven, greg or priyanka haven’t told them about what happened at the hospital. but if they do know, if they know how much it hurts steven being in his pink mode & still press into him about it I’ll see red. with steven’s trauma & now ptsd being cemented into the show I fucking hope garnet, amethyst & pearl get held accountable for what they put on him as a kid. that shit will not slide with me if they don’t. do not condone what the gems put him through. do not condone the gems for making steven feel like he had to be his mum for them. just… don’t. please.

[captainillogical]

Devil’s Ballroom ch.1

A year after the events from the earth’s final attack, Little Homeworld is finally complete, and there’s a new jazz bar where gems and humans mingle and drink. - As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants

Beach City was a small, lovely town, where pretty much everyone knew each other from the inner city to the boardwalk. You've lived your whole life there, and you loved it. It was home. It was also a really strange town, and you're pretty sure the world almost ended like six times in the last 4 years. Although honestly, you never had to worry about that much, since Beach City was also home to the Crystal Gems, and that Steven Universe who just always managed to save the day. So you’re told. Steven was a fun kid, and grew to be one of your good friends (he’s so insistent on being everyone’s friend. It’s very charming and you love him for it), but you’ve mostly spent your time at work this summer.

One of the easiest jobs to get is Funland, since that always tired Mr. Smiley is chewing through people constantly as the pay is shit, the hours are long, and it’s so hot. Like Mr. Smiley says, "Funland is funderstaffed". You feel like he says that to mock you a bit, since there’s just the two of you here. You really only cared to work there on your off season to help dad out with bills, and to see your best friends. Except THIS summer you guess, since all (2) of your best friends had to go out of town for summer either because of family get togethers or romantic getaways. Those bitches. And you were finally of drinking age this summer. You weren't about to let that get you down, or ruin any plans you’ve made yourself in the next upcoming weeks though.

You’re on the last forty minutes of your shift doing the work of four people. Emptying tills around the food court, cleaning tables, emptying trash cans, and jesus christ this task list seems longer today. It feels ever so fucking slow. And warm. You’re melting, you feel disgusting, and you just want a shower. Thank god it’s payday and you have the next two days off, because you seriously wanted to go out and unwind. See, there’s this newly renovated piano bar you’ve wanted to go to for weeks here locally in town, and you had planned on going with your friends.. but. You know what? Screw waiting on them. You’re going tonight. And besides, who knows! Maybe you’ll meet some new people and make a friend, or show your best friends that you can finally get a girlfriend!! Haha.. or at least get drunk enough to ignore the growing loneliness you’ve been feeling as of late, and desperately trying to ignore.

Funland never truly got busy, so you quickly closed the food court that had been dead for hours down. The last 15 or so minutes you spent sitting at the ring toss booth, and very thankful for the protection from the beating sun on your face. 

"YOOOOO (Y/N)!!!" You hear a familiar voice shout from your left. You put down your phone (obviously looking at memes) and lean over the counter just in time to see Amethyst, accompanied by Steven, jogging over to your booth. 

"Oh, thank god. Finally some human interaction." You responded to the purple gem as they reached your booth. Steven smacked down some tickets for the game and grinned.

"Just spending some time away from the temple". He says, and you nodded as you handed him two stacks of rings. He joyfully pulled them towards himself as Amethyst snickered. 

"He means to say his A/C broke, and Pearl got tired of hearing him groan about it so she kicked us out." The short gem elbowed Steven playfully. 

“Us? Why’d she kick you out too?” You say, giving Amethyst a pointed look. “That’s because Amethyst brought up like 7 of the junk fridges from her room to try to create some sort of.. open fridge cold air whirlwind right in the middle of the living room. It didn’t work as intended at all, though. I’m pretty sure those fridges were really old, or something, because 3 of them caught on fire and now we have scorch marks all over the floor. Anyway, Pearl was pretty mad about it. Sooooo, now we’re here!” Steven says while laughing, and attempting to toss the rings onto the obviously not rigged bottles. 

"So anyway," Amethyst turns to you and leans her elbow on the counter. "Any big plans for tonight?" She steals half the stack of rings from Steven and starts chucking them in the most violent way possible without actually breaking anything. She somehow gets 3 perfect.

 “Ughhh, yeah actually. I sort of convinced myself I’d go out and drink tonight.” You say with a tired grin. “I’ve been kinda daydreaming about not being here all day, and I’ve been wanting to try that one place.. the uh.. piano bar. That new one.”

“Isn’t that the place Bismuth helped fix up, and now bartends at?” Steven says to Amethyst. “She said this place was 1930’s themed with a stage, a spotlight, a piano and everything! It sounds like fun and I want to go.. a lot of the gems from Little Homeworld hang out there. Bis says I’m too young.” “Yeah,” You say, “You’re what, 17? You’re still just a baby, dude. If you want, I can try convincing Bismuth to let you in sometime just to sing.” You say to him and wink. Amethyst bursts out laughing. “You can try!! Bis won’t even let Peridot in!” She laughs. “She says her maturity ain’t the right fit. Whatever that means. She lets Lapis work there sometimes though when she wants, and Peri is still mad about it.”     You watch Steven miss every single shot. How can this kid be the person who saved the planet? His aim is terrible. Amethyst also misses the rest of her shots. 

“Have you guys actually ever won anything here?” You say out loud. “Only when Amethyst cheats.” Steven says. “And anyway, I really want some food. Amethyst. Pizza?”

“Duuuuuuuude. I could eat at least 10 pizzas right now. PLEASE.” She slaps her hand down on your booth. “Y/N. Go out tonight. Have some fun for the both of us, because it’s my turn to clean the kitchen, and if I skip out again Pearl WILL make me do my own laundry.”

“Wooooow, jeez, it must be so terrible to be self-sustaining and clean your own shit,” You’re smiling while chiding her, “and yeah, I will. Maybe next time come with me?” “And leave me all alone!?” Steven whines while starting to walking away. “Go hang out with Connie, you turd. At least you HAVE a girlfriend!” You reply. “You’ll find one eventually Y/N!! Maybe tonight!!” He yells back while waving before they both disappear from your field of vision.

“I really fucking doubt that.” You say to yourself, alone.

You busy yourself cleaning up, and walk over to the main building to clock out. You check your phone, and it looks like the group chat pinged. It’s Harper. FINALLY. Harper has been MIA for the last week. Well, not missing, per se, but she’s been on a roadtrip with her girlfriend of 6 months and didn’t invite you..or your other best friend, Alex. And yeah, you would’ve had to decline because your dad needs you to pick up some slack while he’s out on business, but.. STILL. Shit kinda hurts. But it seems like she finally got service and remembered you guys exist. It’s actually just a selfie with her and her girlfriend with a mountain in the background. She captioned it “I wanted to dive right into mt st helens but she wouldn’t let me get close enough.” You grin and decide to reply with, “Maybe next time Leah won’t let you pussy out”. Honestly, you really didn't mind being the 'single' friend most of the time, but sometimes you wished you could finally meet someone. Then you could also be sending cute couple pictures to your idiot friends, and finally feel like maybe you’re worth someone’s time.

Alex just responds to the chat with 14 flame emojis in succession. Before you can send any knife emojis back, your phone lights up with a call from your father. You answer on the second ring.

“Hey dad. What’s up?” “HEY KIDDO!!” Jesus. Your dad is enthusiastic and as loud as ever. “HOW ARE YOU TODAY, my sweet, dear offspring?”

“I’m chill. Getting off work. You?” You smile to yourself while grabbing the rest of your things to leave for home.

“Just got out of like, my fifth meeting today. It’s awful. I think they’re trying to kill me over here? I’m pretty sure they only paid for the plane ticket because they’re going to reap my organs after they LITERALLY bore me to death. I’m 100% sure my presence isn’t even needed for any of this.” He rants into the phone.

“Dad. You’re the lead project planner. You have to be there. It’s like.. your entire job.” You laugh into the phone. “I thought my entire job was so sit there and look pretty?” “Really? You think they’d choose you for that when they have Brian? Dad, come on. You know how beautiful he is.” You hear your dad sigh wistfully. “Yeah, that gorgeous bastard. Anyway. I’m real sorry in advance, but they’re extending my stay for another couple of days, and instead of being back tomorrow, I’ll be back next thursday.” He says, sounding apologetic.

“Oh, okay. That sucks.” You try not to sound disappointed. “Kiddo I’m sorry! If I could come home tonight I would get on that plane in a heartbeat. I hate this as much as you do.”

“I know. And it’s alright. I’m going out tonight anyway, and I’ll hold down the fort until next week yeah?” “You know you’re my favorite kid, right?” He says. “Dad, I’m your only kid.” You scoff into the phone. “That YOU know of! Love you!” and he hangs up. You roll your eyes, stuff your phone into your pocket, and head out.

Your house wasn't very far from Funland, meaning you could walk home alone safely even at night. Not that Beach City was ever an unsafe town.. if you conveniently happen to forget the aliens trying to destroy the town several times. 

Within minutes you were unlocking your front door, toeing off your work shoes, and heading up into your room. You drop all your shit onto the floor, and flop on your bed. You wonder to yourself, should you be putting more effort into your appearance tonight? Steven did say it was 1930’s themed.. you don’t have very many dressy clothes. You feel like the only color you look good in is black, so you get up and open up your closet. Flowery dress.. God no. Overalls? Noooooo. You swipe through too many sweaters, honestly. There’s a couple decent things in here to put an okay outfit together, or.. wait. Ha! There. That cute black dress you wore 2 years ago for your aunt’s funeral. It’s the best you’ve got, you admit to yourself. And you even still have those black flats! Look, like basically zero effort involved.

You head to the bathroom with your things for tonight and take a shower. It feels nice to scrub off the layer of sweat and grime that come specifically from working at Funland. Oh and, not having to smell like carpet deodorizer and stale caramel popcorn is always a plus. Once out of the shower, you dry off and get into your clothes. You style your hair in your favorite way, and just put on a small bit of makeup. You know, small efforts help to feel less like a paper bag. You look nice for once, you admit to yourself. 

You head downstairs, stuffing your phone and wallet into a small shoulder purse. Grabbing your keys, you put your shoes on, say goodbye to your cat, and walk out the door, making sure to lock it behind you. With your keys safely stored in your bag, you headed into town. The bar was roughly ten to fifteen minutes away, so you decided to hoof it. No need to waste money on a taxi when you had two perfectly toned legs, ya’ll.

[noonmutter]

Mun Dash Game

Rules: Name your top 10 favorite characters from 10 different fandoms and then tag 10 people.

Editor’s note: These are in no ranked order or anything like that, they’re just ten favorites as I could think of them.

Bismuth - Steven Universe. You may notice a theme here; I like my characters complex, their motivations valid, their decisions misguided, and their actions questioned by everyone, often including themselves. I loved Bismuth’s entire concept and I’m sad that she hasn’t had more time front and center to develop beyond her introduction as both a plot device and as a catalyst for Steven’s advancement. Same story with Jasper, though she got a few more appearances. I want to see these people grow and for the people they hurt to grow with them, damn it. Even if that growth is downward into an even worse state, I want to see it because positive or negative, emotional fallout is awesome.

Demona - Gargoyles. There was going to be a Gargoyles character here and I am basically legally obligated to pick either Demona or Thailog because I am a sucker for great voices and tragic villains. Demona’s story wins out by a decent margin because her suffering was entirely borne of her own poor decisions, many of which she felt were right at the time. She just refused to accept that she was wrong or that she could try to make things better at any time, and I was fascinated by that from the first time I saw it. This shit was in a kids’ show that predates Steven Universe by 19 years.

Baby Doll - Batman: TAS. She only showed up once (in the original animation style, anyway) but good god damn did it count. She was angry, hurt, belittled, and so unbearably lonely that when everything fell apart and the dust settled and she couldn’t kill all her problems away, she just broke down. “Why couldn’t you just let me make believe?!” is still crystallized in my head, and it still gives me little pangs when I think of it. And at the end of it all, she sobbed “I didn’t mean to” as she hugged Batman’s leg. And he comforted her. Also in a kids’ show that predates Steven Universe by 21 years.

Scanlan Shorthalt - Critical Role, Campaign 1. I bet you thought after those first three it’d probably be Vax or Percy, but... Look, the character was fantastic and the player made him that way and frankly made that campaign. He’s my go-to for when I need a good cry, and he’s why I learned to build a bard. The same man who started the campaign by asking his bestie what the worst race/class combo was and saying “Okay I’ll play that,” at the end of the campaign made the word “Nine” hit his fellow players and viewers in the chest like a sledgehammer, and nobody has topped that since. His second campaign character, Nott, has also got one of the most poignant backstories I’ve heard in a while, and man will it twist yer gut. Meanwhile both of those characters provide some of the best goddamn comic relief you’re liable to find. Emmy Winner Sam Riegel, ladies and gentlemen.

Francis - Left 4 Dead. I love this grumpy asshole biker. I love that Steam took his “I hate everything” (except vests) schtick and ran with it. I love that the trailers for the second game included him and Rochelle meeting up and commiserating on their hatred of everything, up until Rochelle says she hates his vest and he short-circuits. I miss Francis and I miss playing Left 4 Dead all the time and I yearn for a remaster or rerelease that works better with current setups cuz the original one has uh... not aged well, technologically. Francis and Zoey made life worth livin’ in that game.

Jogurt - Shining Force. This is probably the most obscure one on my list but that’s because Shining Force is an old-ass Genesis game/franchise that is, I admit, pretty generic as far as the plot goes. I love it to pieces regardless because it had some fun with it, and the character designs were wierd and some of the interactions were downright silly. Jogurt was the easter egg secret character in this game, and he’s a little hamster thing with a football helmet on. At the time you get him, most of your fighters have stats in the 20s or potentially 30s and their level is 9, 10, or they’ve been promoted to a new class; every single one of his stats is one and he had not been promoted. If you are able to keep him alive long enough to get him the XP necessary to level up just once, which takes some doing since an enemy can be unarmed and as long as they don’t miss, they kill him, you’ll get a ring called the Yogurt Ring.

When worn, it makes a character look like Jogurt. In the remake for Game Boy Advance, the image for the character shows that it’s a costume with a huge visible zipper up the back. That’s all it does. That’s the joke. And I adore it.

Freddy Krueger - A Nightmare on Elm Street series. I have a love-hate relationship with Freddy. On the one hand, creativity in horror movies--especially in the kills--is something to be embraced, and no matter what else you think of them the Elm Street movies got real fuckin’ creative most of the time. On the other...there have been nine (official) movies with Krueger in them, and only the first three were good. The remake in 2010 was disappointing because it tried to both play to nostalgia and ignore it at the same time and also made Freddy darker, which made him less fun to watch.

Still, I enjoyed the hell outta Freddy’s concept, for much the same reason that I love Chucky the Good Guy Doll so much: they’re both snarky monsters who really enjoy the horrors they’re inflicting and they have incredible presence because of the actors who brought them to life. (Mark Hammill worked with what they gave him for Chucky but uh...what they gave him sucked).

Lorewalker Cho/Margeaux - World of Warcraft. The first, because he’s voiced by Jim Cummings and he’s a knowledge-hungry panda who Blizzard has not been stupid enough to kill off thus far. In the middle of an attack by what is basically Cthulhu, he wants to you bring him research notes on Cthulhu’s fishmen. I love him and I would commit war crimes for him.

The second, because she was a bit character that had me fully invested in her and her story within ten minutes. And then Blizzard ripped my fucking heart out. And I yelled at Questifer about it. Aaaaaaaa.

Granny Weatherwax/Sam Vimes - Discworld. They’re both staggering badasses who have neither time nor tolerance for the bullshit trappings of men, while at the same time harboring a deep and abiding love for their fellow beings. They also approach that from completely different ends. They are also both unquestionably the most noble characters I’ve ever read. They are the sum of their principles and their refusal to budge. Steve Rogers could learn from them. In D&D, they’d be paladins to their core, and they’d absolutely hate that.

Spawn - Image Comics. I have, admittedly, read exactly one Spawn comic book, and mostly love him because of his design, his backstory, and the fact that he’s voiced by Keith David in all animated iterations including video game appearances (and only the animated ones were ever good--the 90s movie was fucking horrible). I am hoping the rumored new movie will make things a bit better for the live-action version, but until that actually comes out, I’m not holding my breath.

Tagged by: @safrona-shadowsun and @ourcollectivefantasy

Tagging: Have you done it? Then you’re it.

[outerspace-iiinnerspace]

11, 13, 14, 25!

11. Hmm... I’d love to see the 1.0 versions of Smoky Quartz and Sunstone! Or a Steven/Lars fusion, just to see how pink it would be. I’m not sure about voices though? If Terry Farrell does voicework I can maybe see her as Smoky.

13. Ooh boy!

Pearl- When she was newly made on homeworld she looked up to Yellow and Blue Pearls a lot. They were the older, wiser, (comparatively) more experienced ones and she hung onto every word they said. In Blue’s case, it wasn’t much, but Yellow was really into the attention and would tell her stuff like “I went to a colony with Yellow Diamond and it wasn’t completely terraformed and it rained, which is when liquids fall out of the sky, it was terrifying” and our Pearl is quaking in her boots like wow, omg, you’re so brave for facing that. And in the present the tables have turned and she loves it.

All the Pearls get together and complain about stuff to blow off steam every so often and it usually stays lighthearted but occasionally they’ll get serious and then you maybe don’t wanna be in the room because there’s throwing things and crying and screaming all those great curse words they learned at Little Homeschool. It’s very cathartic.

She’s got some kind of impostor syndrome because of being the *Terrifying Renegade* and the kinda poster girl for the rebellion, despite not technically actually running away or anything. By the time the fake shattering happened, she’s mostly accepted that she’s really a rebel even if she’s doing it with Rose but even to the present day it’s one the things that really fucks her up. I dunno if there were other Pearls in the rebellion but she’d probably be half admiring/ half awkward around the real runaways.

Oof these are all sad... let’s say that she uses her holograms to learn stuff! When she sees someone doing something and she decides she wants to do that too then she records and plays it back later and tries to imitate what happens on the recording. Which leads to little idiosyncrasies, like she plays the violin in a particular way (I don’t know anything about violins so I can’t get specific) because the musician she copied 300 years ago or something played it just a little bit off.

Garnet- It took her too long to figure out how her future vision worked when she first started using it. Like, she’d know how to activate it and tell the difference between visions and reality, but at first didn’t actually understand that she could change the outcomes. She would see the visions and think “Hmm, there are twelve different outcomes but which one will happen? No idea, just got to wait and see.” When she realized that her actions would affect the futures she saw she was so excited. Like, wow, the coolest thing!

She only realized Rose was the reason she couldn’t ask questions after the Pink Diamond reveal. Until then, she thought it was a weird fusion thing that wasn’t anyone’s fault. It’s not that she never put it together with “No more questions, you already are the answer,” but she assumed it was some kind of subliminal thing because she was so new and confused that it just got lodged in her subconscious and stuck. Which doesn’t make much sense but hey, what else was she supposed to guess?

It is canon that her shades are prescription, but my headcanon is that Bismuth made them! Ruby was always nearsighted but never knew it until after she and Sapphire fused because Sapph brought it up once like, “Hey, why is Garnet’s eyesight so blurry?” and Ruby was like “That’s just how eyes are.” They didn’t unfuse enough for it to be worth getting Ruby her own glasses, but since it looks like they’re unfusing regularly in SUF she might get some now! Also, all three eyes have different prescriptions, with the purple (middle) one having the best vision and the blue one the weakest.

Amethyst- Her poofing most often isn’t just because she takes the most risks, it’s because of her shapeshifting skill. Her form is more ‘elastic’ than average, which may or may not be because she was overcooked, but it means she has more control over her shapeshifted form with the downside that it’s a little more fragile. She probably gets checked out by the gem equivalent of a doctor at some point and is officially told this.

Her Little Homeschool classes (other than doing whatever you want 101 and 201) are Eating Food, Advanced Eating Food, one about human socializing, one about sleeping, and one about being rude (why, when, how, and the textbook is a very long list of curse words, some of which people don’t even use anymore until gems start bringing them back) (oops)

Gems in general don’t have a sense of taste but Amethyst is so good at shapeshifting that she can make taste buds that are actually pretty functional. She doesn’t do it often, though, because the stuff she likes to eat doesn’t taste very good. It’s all about the texture for her. Like motor oil (smooth), a whole watermelon (crunchy, wet inside), charcoal (crumbles and dust gets everywhere).

General gem headcanon- Homeworld was never laidback and lovey-dovey but it was way more accepting of off-colors and other weirdos before Era 2. After the rebellion, there was a huge crackdown and things got way stricter and worse. This was part of Lapis’s culture shock when she went back briefly.

Lars’s crew (Flourite, Rhodonite, Padparascha, the Rutiles) are all Era 2. Rutiles are supposed to be painters, like wall painters, not like artist painters. They have to work with Bismuths a lot. (That last comes partially from a discussion in a discord I’m in but I really like it)

Sort of running off what I said about Ruby, it’s depressingly common for gems to have vision problems and not know about it. There’s technically a system where gems can apply to get corrective lenses issued to them but it barely gets used because there’s no vision testing otherwise so everyone goes around thinking the world is naturally blurred. 

Oh yeah, and Onion is just a normal kid. He’s not evil or scary or secretly a living plant. He’s nonverbal and has food issues and okay, he tried to bury the city in toy capsules once but like, I would have done that in elementary school if I had the chance. I just want people to stop being like “oooh what a scary terrifying nonhuman kid!!1!”

14. I love the Zoo arc because it’s the first real glimpse of non CG gem society and because I find the Zumans incredibly fascinating. Obviously, their whole thing couldn’t be more different from the Crystal Gems but like... a small group of humans living surrounded by gems, with a culture completely different than humans on Earth vs a small group of gems living surrounded by humans, with a culture completely different than gems on Homeworld. Makes you think. Or not.

Honorable mentions go to the Sardonyx arc and the Pink Diamond murder mystery.

25. I’m honestly not that big a fan of AUs. I’ve found a few I’m into (b-sides, and this one fic which you mightve written?? I’m gonna check. yep, that one 90s appalachian au where Pearl’s a wanted criminal and Rose has no boundaries) but generally not my thing. I guess I get attached to characters as they are, so it’s hard for me to keep that connection when all of a sudden they’re horse breeders in the 1200s or whatever. Sorry that sounded harsh but unfortunately it’s the truth.

Aaaaaand this makes me a huge hypocrite but I have created an AU! It began when I started listening to this song, got annoyed that I couldn’t properly daydream about Pearl to it, and starting constructing an elaborate series of events that has mutated to the point where it has nothing to do with the song anymore. The short version is that at some point after the flashback portion of We Need To Talk, Pearl gives Rose an “Either Greg Leaves Or I Do” ultimatum. Rose thinks she’s joking. She’s not. Pearl then walks out of the temple, does her damnedest to make herself absolutely uncontactable, and spends the next two decades hitchhiking, fighting gem monsters, and generally screwing around (not literally). Eventually, she returns and things are more or less “Hey guys, I’m back! Where’s Rose? What’s this kid doing in the temple?” and I don’t even know what happens after that. Chaos, probably, Crying, yelling, confused baby Steven who has no idea who Pearl is. Who knows!

There’s also a Flight Rising AU but that has no plot: it is solely an excuse to draw gems as dragons, and I have barely even done that. I’ve only created mental images of gems as dragons and then not drawn them. I should get around to that

[howlitecritical]

New character arcs and new back story because canon sucks again

Main 4 cast with notes on characters that need notes for changes to make sense  Garnet: yesyesyesyesyeysyes everything good about this show. There’s not enough garnet centric things where she’s just herself and not about ruby and sapphire. More information on Garnet. Shes stoicly funny and just murders people with words sometimes. show her being rose’s top tactician. turning the tides of the war that were never in the crystal gem’s favor. maybe theres a fun earth thing shes into. Her room is the heart of the temple for a reason now. Its a balance between pearl and amethyst. The bubbles are organized, but she has her own side space with things she does as hobbies. She has a collection of antique books that she likes to read lava side and she often meditates to see corrupted gems and a future in which the CGs encounter them. maybe she even draws them out to combine ruby’s need to Do with sapphire's need to Know. Fusion is still very important to her, but not she has plot relevant interests that make sense with her character. Her character arc involves her being the first of her kind. shes something completely new! just like steven is. and for that not to bind them together is silly. She wants the best for steven and he makes her want to be an even better leader now that rose is gone and shes the only one left. she makes him think about his actions and slows down his hyper activity when he or amethyst are trying to do something reckless. From him she learns that it’s okay to let her guard down more. Homeworld might come back, but it’s not all on her shoulders. the CGs are a family and they’ll protect everyone together. Garnet in jailbreak is the first time we know shes a fusion and before that we get more about her character not just from environment around her, but her reactions to things. Maybe she feels like she needs to be in control because shes afraid that without rose, homeworld is more a danger than ever.

Amethyst: I like most of her progression actually!!! a few things I’d mess with is when she’s unnecessary hurtful to people she loves, like greg, when she shape shifted into rose, and peridot when she all but threw her stuff into the ocean. these things need to be gotten rid of, or addressed by the narrative. I’d also like to see her hanging around Vidalia wayyyyy sooner or to have a reason why they dont. As for reasons, maybe Amethyst did or said something hurtful toward her, lashing out at her for whatever reason that made their friendship strained. while a decade is a long time for a human, for a gem its nothing. so while she feels bad, Am’ isnt going to apologize herself!!! she didnt do anything wrong!!! and maybe Vidalia is the first person steven convinces her to apologize to. Steven teaches her compassion and is, in return, the gem he can relate to the best. He goes to her first with gem issues and she acts like an older sibling, trying to teach him or cover up mistakes so pearl and garnet dont find out. I think i’d like a progression of Am’ refusing to apologize to Vidalia, realizing that she was wrong and apologizing to greg, but he breaks down and can’t move past that, rendering their friendship difficult and strained as a “sometimes apologizing isnt enough and you have to change your behavior“ and then the third beat with peridot either not happening at all, where she doesnt throw someone’s comfort items into the ocean which, i think steven shouldve realized and stopped her from doing anyway, BUT if you just NEED that mistake on her part, i feel like this could be a “sometimes, you dont know how bad you hurt someone and you should apologize when you find out“ with peridot being hurt and not talking to her and amethyst has to do a big gesture to show shes sorry. I also feel like that fleshes out amedot as a ship and while i dont care about who peridot ends up with, i care about story and the way im going to make this story go, lapis will be in that fun moral grey area and i want more options in terms of story telling and of fan choice. Also!!! explore the possibility of her being deep cut and thats why shes a runt. she only looks smaller but has all these strengths because of it!!! it fits in really well and bismuth or peridot maybe because she was made for kindergardening, could tell her about it and watch her get excited because shes not ”wrong“ she never came out “wrong“ shes just different and thats okay!

Pearl: Was white diamond’s pearl, first of all! that makes every interaction more interesting, because no only did she defect from homeworld, but she defected from the Queen of homeworld and everything it stood for basically. We learn more about how homeworld operates and what places in society each gem fits from pearl, because while she doesn’t believe it herself, she isn’t kept from talking about diamonds now and what one she served. in this funky fresh au, she is sent by white to make sure the new diamond they’re cultivating from earth comes out properly (aka where the fuck did russia go) and getting her equipped with all of the technology she would need to properly rule. this is where she first meets a quartz soldier. at first she’s taken aback by the quartz’s forwardness, no one had ever talked to her like... an equal before. shes not sure if shes allowed to speak, though, she knows theyre waiting for a response. Their first interactions always begin with her requesting permission to speak. They have to wait a few more years for pink to emerge and while they’re there they slowly become friends as the life is leeched out of the area. we could have a snapshots of them waiting for together, rose getting bored and convincing pearl to come do things with her, slowly breaking her out of her shell. Pearl’s difficulty and character arc comes from not just rose and getting over her feelings, which is perfectly fine, but doesnt need to be her only trait, but finding out who she is now, not just after rose, but with humanity as a whole. with the war well and truly over. she wants to learn about what rose thought was so important to fight for, to die for, and because of that, we get her partaking in human activities that arent eating or drinking, because she still dislikes them. While Garnet reads and collects books, i think pearl being really into her weapons collection is a good idea to flesh her out more. Where did she get her swords from? Well thats a mystery. She mentions someone she cared about a long time ago made them for her and thus we get some fun bismuth foreshadowing.

Rose:  And rose..... god... we could of had it all by adele plays in the background anytime i think about her. Here we have a very beautiful fat woman. Shes framed as elegant and regal by the show time and time again and i LOVED that. however after the pink diamond reveal, I have such mixed feelings about her. No more diamond bullshit. Shes the first gem that popped out. Technically she’s too early and she goes to stand guard around the birthplace of her diamond. That is where she and pearl first meet. Pearl is the first gem she ever talks to and while she innately knows stuff about home world, shes pick up a lot from the humans that live nearby. theyve shown her kindness and given her furs to wear and in turn she helped them heal their wounded by crying on them. (yes she still has healing powers sue me) she loves the humans and takes to befriending them before pearl shows up. The two of them get close and after pink diamond pops out, rose realizes what the creation of gems truly means for the world around her. They’re killing what was here before them. This isn’t creation. It’s an invasion. Being the only quartz out so far, shes forced into the role of commander for pink. Her favored soldier. And the more she does what she was “made for” the more she hates it and the more she hates the diamond authority. she convinces pink that some humans are worth keeping. As a curiosity, my diamond. they could prove useful to terraforming other planets or moons to accept life and in time, gem cultivation.  She gets poofed while trying to save someone from the group of people she first made friends with. Maybe pink shatters whoever poofed her for not following her orders because of course Rose wouldnt defy her. rose is Loyal, unlike the rest of you lack luster garbage. Rose comes back with her iconic dress and shes here and queer and shes fucking Done with this shit. she hears about the shattering on her behalf and she goes to pink and asks why and she feels sick to her stomach because star, my diamond, she isnt Worth it. she isnt worth the cost of someone else’s whole Life!!! Oh rose... you’ve always been soft hearted. in this time, Pearl is quietly there. waiting to be called back by white as pink pearl has just been sent to take her place. And this is it. This is the moment rose decides to rebel. according to homeworld, her life should be no more than any other quartz. her life shouldnt be traded for that of others. So why? Why did pink do this? Do the gems in her court mean nothing to her? This is the first time a gem has ever summoned two weapons. A Sword and Shield. A knight turning on her master. She tried to attack pink. to poof her. to send a message right here and now that gems are all equal. that a lowly rose quartz is strong enough to take on a diamond! She fails, but only partly. she manages to strike a blow, but pink stays in tact long enough to strike on of her own, sending rose retreating into her gem. This is when pearl has to make a choice. No matter what she’d be shattered. Pink’s wrath when she reforms, white’s when she finds out about what happened. This is a death sentence. But if its a death sentence, its one she’ll choose for herself. she takes rose’s shield and uses the face of it to shatter pink herself, scooping up rose’s gem and getting as far away as fast as she can. This is the start of a war.

Steven: Oh boi. So i love steven, but theres moments where hes just... not good and the story doesnt stop him from doing that. So if were gonna say hes a kid with emotion based powers, we know hes soft and sweet and excitable. sometimes he pushes people too far because hes trying to do what he thinks is best. I want him to wrestle with the fact that his mom, this person everyone says is good, killed someone. she did something so horrible and she never killed anyone again, but she still did it once. I’d like him to get bits and pieces of his mothers memories and so we get to see the world and flashback things that happened in real time. Maybe he tries to talk to pearl about it, but she still wont instead of cant. He feels like an outcast and everyone would rather his mom be there, but they have him instead. basically a lot of his earlier character arc stuff before garnet and pearl talk to him about how homeworld was. They dont think hes old enough to hear about war, but it seems war is coming back and hes unprepared to face it without learning more. he facilitates more interactions with the townies and now its not just a war of gems against gems, they have humans on their side too and they’ll win!  

[doomedandstoned]

THE ROADBURN DIARIES

~By Willem Verhappen~

Photographs by Sally Townsend

Preface

When Billy asked me to review Roadburn Festival 2019 for Doomed & Stoned, I was a bit hesitant. Live reviews have never been my specialty and I prefer to enjoy shows instead of being critical. However, when he suggested a diary-style review, I got the idea to do just that; write a diary.

I went all out and paid a whopping two Euros and some change to buy a notebook. After four days of Roadburn, it will probably be as wrecked as I expect to be, but hopefully it will still be readable. [In hindsight it was money well spent, as the notebook survived Roadburn without too much damage.] Whether its pages will be literary gold or the drunken ravings of a madman, only time will tell. The truth will probably be somewhere in the middle. [The fact that I had not been feeling well all week and decided to drive to Tilburg by car each day probably helped me not fucking this up, though.]

Day 1

14:30 -- Ticket booth

The sun is out, Crypt Trip's Haze County was blasting through my car speakers on the way here and the queue to get my wristband went smooth. That's about as good a start as it can get. Sadly, my first dilemma of the day is already coming up: See Myrkur perform her Folkesange set or Bismuth. For now I'll just sit and wait in the sun for my friends T and S to arrive.

Tanya Byrne of Bismuth

16:30 -- Studio Tilburg

We compromised. We started Roadburn with Bismuth engulfing us in the epic 'The Slow Dying Of The Great Barrier Reef' in the Hall of Fame. Sadly the band had some technical issues which fucked up the dynamics in the beginning, but otherwise it was an intense experience.

before the end of the Bismuth set, we moved on to the main stage. On the way there, we ran into some friends who decided to join us to see Myrkur. The Scandinavian folk songs were moving and well performed, but not what we needed, so we set our sights for Vile Creature, who were preparing to destroy the Patronaat.

Vic of Vile Creature

Arriving outside, we noticed that we weren't the only ones. The queue to the Patronaat was leading pretty much up to the Cul de Sac. Since the weather was still nice, we decided to go for a beer in the sun instead.

19:05 -- Veemarktstraat

Molasses was something I had been looking forward to, since it was for a large part a The Devil's Blood reunion. Their set was in general an honest and loving tribute to TDB leader Selim Lemouchi. At some points though, the band seemed possessed by Selim himself. I desperately hope they will release this as a live record. [Later, at the merch I discovered that the band had already recorded an EP. That satisfies me for now, but I still need a live record!]

Farida Lemouchi of Molasses

After that intense show, it was time to get some food. I decided to go for some Vietnamese street food. A good choice, but I should have been more careful with the sambal. I love that stuff, but a full bite at once was a bit much.

19:30 -- Green Room balcony

Luckily, I was just in time to hear the last, hauntingly beautiful song of Lingua Ignota. I had a hard time getting in and when I managed to get in, I couldn't get closer than the back of the balcony. Only when the show was over, I could see that she sat behind her keyboard in the middle of the Green Room. An eccentric choice that befits the woman.

Kristen Hayter of Lingua Ignota

21:20 -- Ladybird Skatepark

Emma Ruth Rundle was more Doomed & Stoned appropriate than I expected. Last time she did a solo show, but this time she brought her full band. Her songs were sometimes dark and doomy, sometimes rocking, but always unique.

Emma Ruth Rundle

But the best kept secret of today are certainly the heavy psych astronauts of Mythic Sunship. Even though it's not crowded, they know how to throw a party on a skatepark. [Mythic Sunship was the first band to be programmed on the Skatepark, but during the weekend more bands were scheduled to perform on this special location. More on that later.]

22:45 -- Koepelhal

I'm not sure why a band like Midnight is performing at Roadburn, since it's pretty much the odd one out this year, but I'm not complaining. I really enjoyed their filthy, sexually laden mix of Venom and Motörhead sleaze. And judging from the large crowd that gathered in the Koepelhal, I wasn't the only one.

00:40 -- Main Stage

Post rock is a hit or miss for me, but the combination of guitars and classical instruments often brings a smile to my face. The latter convinced me to watch MONO perform their Hymn to the Immortal Wind record, supported by the Jo Quail Quartet. I'm happy I did this, since the show was pure aural bliss. Rarely have I heard such a natural mix of metallic guitars and classical instruments. Although it certainly wasn't boring, the floating melodies did make me a bit sleepy.

2:xx -- Eindhoven

I guess I went full circle today. I started with Crypt Trip and ended with them as well. After MONO, these Texan rockers were exactly what I needed. Their country infused hard rock really got my energy levels back to par. Then again, anyone who can stand still during a Crypt Trip show, must be dead. It was also very nice to see my Doomed & Stoned colleague Calvin again. Roadburn is off to a good start.

Day 2

15:25 -- 013

T, S and I started our second day at Roadburn queuing up for Gold. I lost sight of the Dutch band after being disappointed by their second record, when they traded in their occult rock for a more post rock sound. Today, however, I was not disappointed at all. Their pounding post black/punk/rock really grabbed me by the balls. Charismatic frontwoman Milena Eva and her accomplices are back on my radar.

I'm currently enjoying one of the three sets of Seven That Spells. Between all the avant garde stuff, it's nice to see some proper heavy psych/stoner rock. Very well executed!

Milena Eva of Gold

17:00 -- Ladybird Skatepark

Between all the good stuff, Triptykon was my most anticipated concert of the festival. As I said, I'm a sucker for metal mixed with classical music, so I wouldn't want to miss the Swiss band performing with the renowned Metropole Orkest, the world's leading pop orchestra. Today they are playing something heavier, namely the requiem penned by Tom G. Warrior. The first and third parts date back to the Celtic Frost days, namely Into The Pandemonium (1987) and Monotheist (2006). The piece never had a middle section, until now.

Tom Gabriel Warrior and Vanja Slajh of Triptykon

The show wasn't perfect. There were some flaws here and there and at certain moments it felt like the orchestra was overtaking the band. Altogether it was an impressive performance, but somewhere I feel like there could have been more. Still a highlight, though.

I'm currently enjoying some surprise sludgy goodness of Vile Creature, while the queue for the Hall of Fame is reaching new lengths while A.A.Williams is performing there as part of the Holy Roar x Roadburn showcase.

19:55 -- Studio Tilburg

After getting my eardrums destroyed by Vile Creature, it was time for a beer with friends. Consequently, that meant I missed Conjurer, but I did manage to see the last half hour of Anna Von Hausswolff on the main stage. On record I find her music very calming, but live the tiny lady and her band deliver a massive tidal wave of sound. 'The Mysterious Vanishing of Electra' was even more impressive than on record.

22:20 - Koepelhal

After enjoying watching Calvin struggle with a massive burger from the Studio café and between the neck snapping sets of Svalbard and Pijn (both part of the Holy Roar showcase), I conquered my first queue at the Koepelhal. This was for the collaboration between artist in residence Thou and Emma Ruth Rundle. It was well worth the effort. This noisy matrimony sounded exactly as you'd expect from the two factors.

Bryan Funck of Thou

3:xx -- Eindhoven

After Pijn's set, it was straight off to the Patronaat to grab a good spot for another show I highly anticipated. That turned out to be a good decision, since I heard afterwards that the queue for Messa turned out to be huge.

My love for these Italians stems from their ability to make old school doom sound fresh again. The band manages this through the incorporations of jazz elements, as well as sporadic black metal outbursts. Today, the band brought along a saxophone player, which truly added an extra dimension to their music.

Day 3

17:20 -- 013

Today we started off with Have A Nice Life. The new wave was enjoyable, but we had other priorities, for Wolvennest was about to perform their latest effort, Void, in its entirety. The Belgian band went all out for this show, bringing several guest musicians, as well as brand new visuals. Musically, Wolvennest definitely made a step up from their debut, WLVNNST. Their black metal with psychedelic and doom influences pleased the many people who came to witness this ritual. The only negative comment one could have, is that the altar looked very small on the large main stage.

Henrik Palm is no stranger to most Roadburners. The Swede used to be a member of In Solitude and Ghost. You can clearly hear this in his solo work, but his eclectic rockers always feel unique. I remain with only one question. Why the early Judas Priest videos?

19:20 -- Ladybird Skatepark

I'm not much of a fan of most of the bands from the Exile on Mainstream roster, but Treedeon I had to see. These Germans make for some noisy, primitive doom, which is right up my alley. There are some clear Conan vibes here, but the double vocals make it just a tad more brutal.

23:15 -- Koepelhal

I always enjoy good times with good people, so I was happy to join a small Doomed & Stoned meetup with Calvin and Sally [whose photos add some color to this article]. Contrary to my instincts, I left my friends behind to make it in time for what is probably the highlight of this year’s Roadburn. Coming near the 013 was like walking into a coffee shop (the Dutch kind), with the smell of weed greeting you from far away. Not surprising, since it wouldn't be long before the almighty Sleep would perform their classic record Holy Mountain in one go. When I arrived, some 20 odd minutes before the show, the hall was already crowded, with people queuing up, not more than five minutes later.

It was quite the magical experience to hear one of my all-time favorite records being performed live. The first notes of 'Dragonaut' already gave me goosebumps and headbanging became a priority for nearly two hours. Sleep performing 'The Clarity' and a part of 'Dopesmoker' surely was an extra treat.

Al Cisneros of Sleep

4:xx -- Eindhoven

Doolhof was a typical case of the right band at wrong time. The drone outfit, with Aaron Turner of Old Man Gloom and Sumac fame in its ranks, sounded highly intense and mesmerizing, but after Sleep, I was looking for something more energetic.

Luckily, I received a push message after the Sleep show, saying that Thou would perform a special set at the Skatepark. There had been rumours that the band would perform a set of Misfits covers somewhere during the weekend and this was it. A couple hundred people had shown up and the band was going through classics like 'Die, Die My Darling' and 'Hybrid Moments' like the audience was going through beers.

This set was absolute mayhem with the crowd moving as one mass and there was pretty much constant crowd surfing. The band was joined by Emma Ruth Rundle on a couple of songs, and for their final song, 'Last Caress', they were joined by Converge/Old Man Gloom's Nate Newton and Gilead Media chief Adam Bartlett. The former even went stage diving. If anyone was doubting why Thou is the artist in residence this year, they get it now.

Recharged by the insane show I had just witnessed, it was time for some after-partying in the basement of the 013 until the lights came on.

Day 4

Up until a few years ago the Roadburn Sunday was more of an after party, or Afterburner as it was called, but in recent years it changed into a full day. This year, all stages but the Koepelhal have bands playing, but thankfully my schedule is far less busy than the previous days.

17:30 - Main Stage

The intensity of three days of Roadburn appears to have had an effect not only on me, but on most of the visitors. That's why T and I decided to take it easy. This meant we missed Lucy in Blue because we arrived in Tilburg at 3pm. Since for the first time this weekend, temperatures reached comfortable levels, we decided to enjoy the sun a little before diving into another day of musical adventure.

my first band of the day was Supersonic Blues, a last minute addition to the program. The young band from The Hague had the honor to play the now infamous Ladybird Skatepark. Their heavy blues rock wasn't that special, but it surely was a welcome energizer for the rest of the day.

The first highlight of the day was TankZilla, a newcomer from my hometown Eindhoven, who got to warm up the Hall of Fame. Even though this was their second gig ever, the two members are anything but new to the scene. Singer/guitar player Peter van Elderen has enjoyed success for over twenty years with Peter Pan Speedrock, but also has more stoner credits with bands like Repomen and Four Headed Dog and drummer Marcin Hurkmans is known for his work with rockers Wolfskop. Although there's just two guys on stage, they manage to produce some fat-sounding stoner rock with the signature riffs and lyrics of van Elderen. Today saw the release of their first 7", but this show leaves me hungry for more!

20:45 -- 013 Lobby

With an hour to kill, I decided to walk to the 013 to check out a few songs from today's Thou set. Even though it was their fourth set this weekend, the main stage was packed with people wanting to see the artist in residence one more time. And rightfully so. Even after four days of playing, the last time being only 16 hours before, the band played another energetic set of nasty doom.

Mitch Wells of Thou

This made it somewhat difficult for me to leave early, but I had been looking forward to my second chance of seeing Bismuth ever since it was announced this morning. The Skatepark has become my favorite venue and the acoustics are perfect for the intensity of "The Slow Dying of the Great Barrier Reef". This time not troubled by technical difficulties, the UK duo's perfect performance of 'The Slow Dying of the Great Barrier Reef' is one of my absolute highlights of the festival.

Fuel is important on days like these, so I decided to skip the beginning of Old Man Gloom to grab a delicious pancake filled with spinach and goats cheese, walnuts and honey. By the time I reach the crowded main stage, the OMG set is almost over, but judging from the enthusiastic crowd, the New Mexico sludge machine managed to deliver.

Aaron Turner of Old Man Gloom

2:xx -- Eindhoven

Roadburn is over, but not before we were treated to another two-hour set of Sleep. This time the sonic titans performed their most recent effort, The Sciences, in its entirety, with the addition of "Leagues Beneath", "Dragonaut" and another section of "Dopesmoker". Sadly, the band was troubled by technical difficulties, to the great annoyance of Matt Pike, who even had to switch amps mid-set. This prevented the show from being the legendary event it could have been.

Matt Pike of Sleep

After Sleep, the time had come to slowly start Brexiting (saying you are leaving, but staying as long as you can).Saying goodbye to friends, both old and new, is always difficult, but it was fun to hear all the great stories everyone lived this weekend and see the joy in everyone's tired eyes. And just like Great Britain, we stayed until we were kicked out, leaving Tilburg behind with many new memories.

☀

[noddytheornithopod]

5 for the ask meme?

(From here)

5 - Favorite Episode(s)? Hmm, this is interesting. I have a few that come to mind as favourites for various reasons. I love so many of them, but here’s what I consider major standouts.

Alone Together: This is just such a sweet episode, not really much else to say on it. I’m major Connverse trash. :V

Open Book: I really admire this episode because it has a message that is only growing MORE relevant with time. People are defining their relationships too much by what they do and don’t like in regards to specific media (a major feeling I have right now because of Phineas and Ferb and Milo Murphy’s Law and the increasingly mixed reaction of their crossover lol). If your friendship really matters, you will know it’s okay to have different opinions on a book, movie, show, etc. I mean, it even feels like the Steven Universe fandom forgets this so much, I can tell you I’ve made my share of mistakes with this.

Sworn to the Sword: This is the episode that made me realise what the show could truly be capable of. It’s just so dark and sinister, and I really appreciate how the show isn’t afraid to use its own core characters like Pearl as episode antagonists. Of course, as you’ll see in a bit, this episode is now even darker. :V But I mean, in the end it’s about Steven and Connie’s relationship and how close they’ve become, and also really brought to my attention the idea of how self sacrifice can be detrimental. It’s just so good. I see some people take issue with the end and while I can see why, I’m still fine with it personally. It’s also just so well done from a technical standpoint too, like seriously Do it for Her has to be one of my favourite examples of lyrical dissonance I’ve ever seen, and the visual storytelling is brilliant.

Log Date 7 15 2: Look, I NEEDED a Peridot episode on this list, okay? XD I adore her, and this episode is so funny and great. It also helps add to Peridot’s character to the point it made me wish I got to see this before It Could’ve Been Great. XD It’s also cool because it really shows how much Steven can sometimes miss and as a result us because we’re limited to his perspective.

Mr Greg: Nuff said. Okay but seriously, Steven Universe musical episode? Yes please. Steven Universe musical episode that has major development for Greg and Pearl? Even bigger yes please. Honestly, you can really tell they went all out here, and the level of effort and passion really shows. It’s Over, Isn’t It is of course the big standout song, but they’re all enjoyable, and I really like Both of You both as a song and as the episode’s climax.

Mindful Education: Yeah, another really adored one. When I was first watching it, I have to admit I wasn’t quite sure where it was going. Steven Universe’s slower pace than most cartoons does that sometimes. XD But then the final act came, and it all clicked for me. Steven is really starting to struggle now and question who Rose Quartz really is, and it’s getting to him a lot. It’s also another great episode showing just how supportive Steven and Connie are of each other, seriously I adore them. Also, Here Comes a Thought is one of the best songs if not THE best song in the show hands down, it’s such a powerful piece of music and listening to it really is able to help with things like anxiety and stuff (and I mean as someone with OCD and also being an Autistic person prone to intense emotions, it really is something that helps).

Onion Gang: What?????? Some random townie episode??? Boring filler, get out!!!!!! Okay to be serious, this is actually my favourite of the Beach City citizen based episodes. I always was hoping for an episode that really helped to make Onion sympathetic because to me he’s VERY Autistic coded (in a different way to characters like Pearl and Peridot that is) and as a result a lot of the stuff people say about him rubs me the wrong way. This episode was just really touching, we got to see more of Onion than we ever had seen before and it helps make him more sympathetic to those who aren’t a fan of him. Also seriously, the part where he cries at the end because he’s now alone again always hits me hard.

I Am My Mom: Oh gosh, this episode. It might even be THE favourite depending on my mood. The previous episodes built up the threat of Aquamarine and Topaz really well and they really did have quite a scary presence. But this episode, damn. It just really hits so hard. It’s already beginning at a low point, but it just gets even harder. Just as when Steven seemed to think he might begin to heal over his issues, Aquamarine shows up with Topaz and they completely botch everything. Topaz is great as someone intimidating and will ultimately remain loyal to her duty even if we discover she’s secretly really struggling and sympathetic, but I love Aquamarine BECAUSE she’s such a little shit. I mean, I even get the impression she’s not even fully into her job and just wants what comes out of it for her. Steven’s guilt gets to the better of him to the point where he basically just gives up and sacrifices himself, quite possibly the lowest point for him so far. It’s a DEVASTATING scene, especially seeing how everyone is reacting. Connie’s scream at the end completely breaks my heart because now she risks being alone again, it’s so sad. The next two arcs are really great because this episode is such a wham. Speaking of which…

The Wanted arc: It’s probably just because it’s fresher in my memory, but I love it all so much. Not only do we get major character growth for Lars (and he fucking dies… ouch), but we also have it made clear to us the known story about Pink Diamond doesn’t make sense. I am a little let down by Lars’ Head, which while still a good episode I did feel maybe wrapped things up a little too neatly since Steven had such a means to get home. I guess maybe I just feel they needed another revived being to help establish it more so that it felt less of a surprise and less convenient? Still though, the next arc makes it clear it’s not all so easy.

The Season 5 Connie/Steven arc: Another instance where every episode hits so brilliantly. For me the second half of the episodes are definitely the overall stronger ones, but seeing this fallout made sense even if it was still devastating. I guess it’s why I like Aquamarine so much: she was able to fuck so much up compared to previous antagonists. But yeah, not only is the Steven and Connie stuff really emotional and touching in the end, but I also love the Peridot stuff too. I was happy to see that they addressed the issues in her relationship with Lapis (something I think was discussed further on the SU podcast), but you still so bad for her. It also relit my interest in Amedot, Amethyst was just so caring even if she was rough at times. Also I really liked Sadie Killer, purely because it satisfied the anti-capitalist side of me (Working Dead is a pretty cool song too). Also… they even added depth to Kevin. FUCKING KEVIN. It was also amazing to see that Steven actually resorted to working with him to try and patch things up with Connie, but even that didn’t go as planned.

A Single Pale Rose: So not only did we get a creative way to learn more about, Pearl, we also get the biggest twist of the show so far. Like seriously, Rose being Pink Diamond is the best kind of twist. Not only was it heavily foreshadowed in the series and could be picked up by anyone willing to put the pieces together (I was a big fan of the theory myself because I felt it would fit into Rose’s character really well), but it’s also something that completely changes everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. Everything is now so much more darker and complicated, and Rose is now only even more interesting as a character. And the best part is: apparently there’s even more we have to learn about Pink Diamond that will inform why Rose is such a complicated and tragic being.

Made of Honor: It’s fresh in my memory, but even so I still think this episode is worth mentioning. This Garnet arc is great, and Ruby and Sapphire marrrying is so sweet and satisfying and of course I mention this here because the wedding planning is a lot of fun, but I also loved how Bismuth was handled in this episode. Even if she only had one episode before this, she was still such a fully realised character, and I don’t blame people for feeling so passionate about her. Seeing her come to terms with everything was just really interesting to see.

[geek-gem]

Reunited

5:01 pm so as of now I've seen the new Steven Universe special, "Reunited" and their will be spoilers possibly so be warned I will tag it with spoilers too.

To be honest I didn't want to immediately go on my phone and talk about this. Because just I was wondering if that was seriously all until Adult Swim came on. So the tv is now on The Loud House just commericals on now. Including I've been watching some of the show again despite how I'm critical of the show.

But let me talk about this now.

After all these years and I've been a Steven Universe fan since the Summer of 2014.....all the build up, and after going through many years of again build up and people being critical and some being well stupidly critical where me and others couldn't take them seriously. Just after everything all the other stories and theories so much stuff so much shit going on. It all builds up to this.

Now Loud House is on the Girl Guru episode enough.

But I'm gonna say some stuff and people might say better stuff then me but this is my reaction.

The special, "Reunited" and this specific Steven Bomb was all worth it and it's possibly one of the or maybe the best Steven Universe episode ever. Even though the series is a big story but in a way.....how about a comparison here it might be stupid.

Think of Infinity War....this was my kind of thing. Seeing a whole bunch of this shit and just what we get these could be first reactions.

Okay looked at the last paragraph and the other before it I'm sorry of rambling at first but seriously. I'm very positive of the episode. To be honest for the first three episodes I didn't rewatch them including July 4th fireworks starting at 7 but rewatched, "Made Of Honor" yet was mainly on my laptop. I think I'm gonna leave this episode on basically see it again.

Now I think I should get into more details. It's a really great fuckin special it is. Because it's like an event me and other fans have been waiting for in so long. Including yeah some pretty funny moments and twice they used okay spoilers now they used the Peridot flower thing twice which is funny.

But it's like an event seeing all these characters and I don't know if this is a finale to a season. Because the ending and just after it ends is surprising as hell.

Basically let's talk about the wedding. I'm gonna be honest I said woah after the whole thing Sapphire explained with Steven and Ruby surprised by a whole lot explained and then Sapphire explaining it in a simple way. Especially the fucking kiss they actually showed that. Which is pretty fuckin amazing. Especially yeah Garnet came back which is awesome. I was surprised by the kiss it's just it's surprising because they actually showed it on TV despite I suppose Rebecca Sugar didn't have fear of showing it but still.

Now to the biggest things almost just said thing. But just the Diamonds and their is so much to talk about.

The big battle especially the biggest fucking surprise the Cluster actually turns into a large arm and fucking arm wrestles Yellow Diamond's ship. The fact the Cluster is seriously that in control of it's actions is amazing and good that it's on the Crystal Gems side. Especially even Steven mentions that and the Cluster even does thumbs up twice.

Also just the battle between the Crystal Gems and the Diamonds it's fucking awesome and some surprising stuff man. Now I'm thinking I hope the Diamonds Pearls are somewhere maybe on their ships I'm worried now where are they now man.

Yet again their are indeed some funny moments especially Peridot which is quite a surprise glad Bismuth loves her attitude holy crap I remember the ideas that Bismuth might of hated Peridot and Lapis yet yesterday shit changed.

Also Lapis she came the fuck back holy fuck. Yeah I'm swearing a bit I guess in a way to express myself on this stuff. But especially before but just her entrance is amazing she fucking slams the barn on Blue Diamond. Yet also one of the biggest things. It's her interaction with the Crystal Gems before more of the battle and the whole thing of officially joining now.

I'm just remembering all the times people talking about her relationship with the Gems and now here we are man.

Seriously again lots of stuff especially the last half the fact this is three parts was surprising. It's not just tap parts it's three parts man.

But the last half which especially before that holy shit after Yellow Diamond basically poofs Peridot who has the balls to even step forward to the Diamonds after being launched by Bismuth onto Blue Diamonds face. Yellow actually runs towards Steven and fucking steps on him I'm being serious. Especially he had his shield and it protected him but fucking broke. Crap glad it didn't end on that.

But the last half again Steven's I guess in....their minds of shorts. Including able to connect with everyone and just oh shit man. Then also the last part he's trying to talk to the Diamonds and it's quite a struggle and just hearing everyone's thoughts also some silly stuff in there too man.

Yet after all that he's able to talk with them and reveal what actually happened to Pink Diamond. Then it just fucking ends with the Diamonds and especially everyone else looking at Steven seeing he's up now. But also the biggest thing the Diamonds realize who he is now.

Okay other thing I remembered which was funny was Greg surviving and getting I think I remembered he was called Cat Steven and Greg says he will rather stick with them the other Gems.

Also I don't know why I thought of this the fact Steven needs to sleep to speak to the Cluster I was thinking their gonna jam a tranquilizer or something in his neck it sounds so weird. But it's funny he went to sleep rather quickly after Greg played his guitar.

Also remembered the funny moment Ruby speeding up to Sapphire and shit's on fire and Greg playing the guitar more quickly.

Along with I wanted to mention this. This special actually fucking starts with a song by Steven especially with him reacting to some people's negative stuff and whatever looking on the more bright side of things.

Now I need to speak of the final part and this wasn't shown in the ending. The ending is left pretty open ended. Their is footage of the next episode which seems to line up with that gif of Blue and Yellow with the Crystal Gems at the house.

Holy shit especially Centi whatever she's named is gonna be part of that too. Their talking about the whole thing that the Diamonds used to wipe out most of the Gems on Earth and how it affected Gems.

But basically I should just get to the point I fucking loved this special. Especially the show started when I saw the intro I turned off my laptop well exit the screen was watching some Klayton Fioriti stuff the 20 years Lost World Jurassic Park stuff I exist that out and turned off the screen not the laptop.

Again sorry I really enjoyed the special. So much good shit. The fact we finally got this is amazing. Now we're gonna get more after this but it didn't reveal the date of what I saw.

Hopefully at Comic Con we will get more information.

Also on a funny note considering my reblog sorry for the mention gal but want to @beevean her post and how I made a joke about White Diamond. Also put back the n of her username whatever.

At first my ideal and it's was mainly a joke about she was the one who killed Pink Diamond that White Diamond is a facist. But now the theory and it works perfectly and if this is true how much symbolism Rebecca Sugar and the Crewinverse have done. The idea White Diamond distancing herself from so much shit.

She does not appear in this. In fact maybe hopefully she will appeared or even mentioned in those upcoming new episodes that maybe the Diamonds could be on good terms now. Or even maybe some Comic Con stuff but from what I know they don't really reveal something like that unless Cartoon Network fucks up but this time they didn't which is amazing man.

In a nutshell and I'm gonna copy this. This is probably one of my favorite things from series, the best Steven Bomb and my favorite of the series or just the build up is worth it. It's basically my Infinity War yet probably hopefully for other fans as well. But not the kind of Infinity War where spoilers the ending contains White Diamond making half of the universe disappear where Connie says, "Steven I don't feel so good". Okay Connie was my first choice then Greg or Peridot but Jesus Christ let's be glad their isn't something like that and wanting to keep which characters alive stop it sorry guys.

Tags done but seriously all fucking great man the best we've gotten is such a long time the greatest hopefully just sorry I'm rambling the greatest.

Edit had to click here again it's 5:46 pm I forgot the time but just got the nutshell thing on Deviantart and Loud House is on commericals gonna reblog shit. But seriously the fucking greatest.

[boobyruby]

I honestly don't understand why people think Steven was wrong for bubbling bismuth.sure she had an idea that alot of people agree with,but the show is in Stevens point of view and to him he sees the beauty in everyone and thing.he believes everyones worth something and deserves a chance not just to fucking murder everyone in sight even though it would be effective. Did you guys forget bismuth literally tried to fucking kill Steven just for disagreeing with her? And by the look of it she tried to do the same to rose THATS WHY SHES BUBBLED,THE BITCH IS INSANE And she was given a second fucking chance when Steven found her he unbubbled her and then she pulled some crazy ass shit that she obviously tried to do to rose which is fucked up I love her and everything but when she tries to murder a child just for disagreeing with her I kinda don't want her around

[itsbats]

Agreed about SU...I wouldn't mind the time it takes to make as much, if I wasn't so aware of how much they shove into TTGo at CN, and if they would just keep to a cohesive story. Each StevenBomb is roughly 50 minutes; essentially they can release a small film every few months. But when you're so limited like that, why in the name of any gods would you add filler? Its like, "I didn't come here for Ronaldo's backstory guys, you have a hell of a plot going so long as you actually STICK to it."

Thing is, when you make a show, you have a RESPONSIBILITY to keep it consistent. You wanna make a show full of misadventures? DO IT!! Regular Show did, We Bare Bears does, Teen Titans Go, Clarence, Gumball- they just have FUN. Now you can do it wonderfully like Gumball and Regular Show do, but that’s because the writers know what the shows are. They KNOW that they are comedies and misadventures and they take up that responsibility.

Now with shows like Adventure Time and Steven Universe, if you are going to make the extra effort to add such deep lore and plot and characters and POWERFUL scenarios, you better stick to it. Adventure Time has mastered this because even though some episodes may “seem” pointless, they all STILL somehow manage to put more lore into it or fit a wonderful lesson in there. That’s the wonderful thing about Adventure Time- they had an episode giving background to James Baxter. James Baxter...A BACKGROUND GAG. BUT did they let it flop? No, they treated the episode with care and respect, put backstory about the world, and gave DEPTH to a character, not just randomly had Finn forcefully try to shoehorn himself into James’s problems.

Now I adore SU. It’s still in my top 5 favorite shows, this is my list: 1. Avatar The Last Airbender 2. Teen Titans 3. Trollhunters 4. Steven Universe 5. The Powerpuff Girls (not the reboot)

Now what I love about those shows is that while they all have filler (except Trollhunters, they KNOW they are animating this super amazing shit and they take advantage of every single minute to build characters in coherence with the plot and world, Avatar too), they STILL know what they are. Teen Titans is an action comedy superhero show. It does its tropes and episodes so wonderfully and keeps the characters consistent and likable, not to mention the artwork is PHENOMENAL. But Steven Universe...doesn’t know what it is anymore.

Is it a comedy show like Gumball? If not, why do they put 1 full year’s worth of traditional animation into bad jokes that seriously don’t land? And if it’s a comedy, why “waste” so much time on building complex arcs like Amethyst’s insignificance, Pearl’s lost love, Bismuth’s and Jasper’s possible PTSD, and so forth? You are setting up this BARREL of wonderful emotions and creativity, yet it’s as if the plot literally has to be TREATED to us. 

The Crewniverse knows this too. They constantly tease us with titles that may finally have plot (Rising Tides/Crashing Skies, Steven vs Amethyst...fucking Gem Harvest) The latter being the worst because they wasted a HALF HOUR special on some asshole we don’t even care about, bad jokes that don’t land, have absolutely zero development of Lapis Lazuli who is for some reason so cool with the people who kept her prisoner just to fan Lapidot, and WORST of all, they teased us with that term “You’re going to HARVEST me?” (which we still don’t fucking know about, but yay we know about Fryman and Pizza’s family feud...woo hoo)

And now we are literally so starved for plot that whenever we see an episode that MIGHT have character development (the latest being “Storm in the Room”) we treat it like a godsend. So does the show wanna have tons of creativity and emotion and lore, or does it wanna be a comedy based on a simple magical kid’s life? PICK AN EXECUTION so we won’t be so damn annoyed when you make bullshit boring episodes KNOWING that you can make such masterpieces like “Mindful Education”, “On the Run”, “Rose’s Scabbard”, “Nightmare Hospital”, even fucking “Giant Woman.” 

Now you might think I’m being spoiled. Oh, you can’t have every single episode be a masterpiece like that...well....why not? You guys are putting so much effort into this traditional animation and patting your asses about representation, and there have been Steven Bombs that are damn wonderful! I may not have been the biggest fan of Sardonyx week, but all of the episodes I admit were well done, well executed, and very well animated and paced (in my opinion. I know a lot of people hate on Keystone Motel, but I personally love it.) Hell, the LATEST Stevenbomb was phenomenal!! So well animated, a great villain song, great lore and background, and still comedic in some aspects!! Avatar the Last Airbender did it, Gravity Falls did it (the oNLY filler for GF was that election episode, everything else built the world and created more depth one way or another), this show can do it too. Gravity Falls had 22 minute episodes too, SU has 11. Adventure Time can do it, so can SU. 

This show has to stop beating around the bush and GIVE US what they set up rather than waste ours and their own time making stupid shit. We STILL don’t know how Amethyst met Rose, how Pearl met Rose, how the war went down for Garnet, what’s Lapis’s beef with the Gems....but we know Sour Cream has a complicated family. 

There.