#worth all the waiting and more np about the time!

[sassyshin]

Okay about the 8th reinforcement in the anni. i’m sorry if I get any card wrong though  sometimes I do mix those

-

4* Saber. God I really hope its Gawain. There are pretty good chances of being him considering he’s gonna be an event servant. If they do a rank up quest for him because of the event later I wont mind tho but I’m not counting with that so I really hope its Gawain. This man deserves it at this point

3* Lancer: God theres so many possibilities here to me. Like I dont think any AOE 3* Laner is doing very hot atm. I would really like Taiga to get something this time though. She’s still got a 10t skill cooldown that isnt really worth it. I wouldnt mind another buff for Diarmuid tho

And here’s probably one that might be even controversial but Hozouin because his skills do very very little to him. I think he could use some help

-

5* Lancer: Karna. Yeah this is me being bias. Give it to my boy. Thats all

3* Archer: Oh please buff Billy. Like if its William Tell its fine to me because I feel theres so little reason to use him over Robin but Billy is so... Outdated. He doesnt even have an atk up or np up for fuck sake

-

5* Berserker: Xiang Yu. Like straight up. He’s not even bad but out of all the 5* Zerks he’s the one that could use something more the most

2* Caster: WAIT. IS THIS SHAKESPEARE??????

FINALLY?????????????????????????

SHAKESPEARE BUFF INCOMING?

THE ONLY OTHER 2* CASTER IS CHEN GONG AND I DONT THINK THEY’RE GONNA BUFF THAT

OH MY GOD

-

5* Lancer. Lartoria. Thats all again lmao. I know I said the same to Karna but yeah. I want both of them buffed. Her last buff was so meh

4* Assassin:  May i have another Yan Qing buff pls, mistah shroom? :3

Uhhh i’d like Carmilla to get a buff. All the Lizzies got one so why was he left aside. I know she’s not bad but yeah

Kerry too though. If this buff is for Kerry I’m gonna be happy

-

5* Caster: God... Is this a Tam or Merlin buff............ Please tell me its not. I mean if its a Tam buff its whatever... But godd they might be going for Merlin here

Oh my godd

In a good timeline it would be Anastasia... But is this a good timeline?

We will see

4* Lancer: I have no idea. Would they be blasphemous enough to Buff Summer Kiyohime before the berserk one? Idk. Qiang Lyu could still something more tho i guess

-

5* Foreigner. This is gonna be Summer Abby wont it. Like people already thought it would be her last time. Whatever bruh

3* Rider. Hopefully it is Red Hare. I feel like he’s the one that needs it the most. However I wouldnt complain if it was Rick because its not like he was ever buffed

-

5* Archer: This probably should be Artemis tbh. However just like Rick if they wanted to give a np upgrade to Moriarty I would be like “sure why not”

4* Saber: Saber Alter. I want both Gawain and Saber Alter to get something

[ghost-town-story]

FebruarOC Day 5: Elias

Eli sighed and sat back from his desk, checking his phone. Technically he could probably get away with heading over to James’s house and moping around the kitchen until his uncle took pity on him and fed him. But it was still early, and James could just as easily tell him to wait till dinner. Plus, he would rather get this assignment done before leaving for dinner… Raiding the kitchen for a snack it was.

Eli scrolled through his phone as he left his room, taking advantage of his little homework break to check his social media. Habit had him side-stepping the small figure heading down the hall towards him, and he caught sight of brown hair, not his sister’s black. “Hey Elle.”

Eli mentally ran through the cupboards, debating what sounded like a good snack. His parents and Brooke were out, meaning he wouldn’t have to deal with food thieves—Wait a second.

Eli turned around and backtracked to Brooke’s room. In the few moments it had taken for him to register her presence, Elle had made herself perfectly at home in Brooke’s bed.

“What are you doing here?” Eli asked.

“What does it look like?” Elle signed back.

Eli frowned. It wasn’t that this was a rare occurrence; Elle and Brooke had sleepovers all the damn time. But Eli couldn’t remember Elle ever coming over by herself, and she lived far enough away that she couldn’t just walk the distance.

“Do your dads know you’re here?”

Elle didn’t respond, but Eli figured the guilty way she burrowed deeper into the nest of blankets was answer enough.

He sighed and pulled out his phone to text his uncles. Hey, if you’re looking for Elle, she’s here.

OH THANK FUCK was James’s near-immediate reply. Do you mind bringing her home for dinner?

Can I get some brownies out of it?

Sure

np

Message sent and the promise of treats secured, Eli pocketed his phone. “Anyways, as I’m sure you know, Brooke is at soccer practice right now. You planning on just sitting here till she gets back?”

Elle shrugged.

“And you do realize Mom and Dad are probably gonna bring her over to your house for dinner?”

Another shrug.

Eli sighed, then crossed the room to sit at the edge of Brooke’s bed. “Alright, out with it. Why are you really here?”

Elle huffed, refusing to look at Eli. Her hands wavered for a moment, then she signed, “Can I ask you a question?”

“You just did,” Eli deadpanned, then as Elle shrunk back into the blankets, he added, “Go ahead.”

“Do you think I’m weird?”

If it were Brooke asking, or even Katie, Eli would have immediately shot off some quip about not understanding “you weird kids.” But Elle had immediately wrapped her arms around her legs after finishing her question, and she looked too small and too scared for Eli to feel anything but uncomfortable making that kind of joke.

“Nah,” he finally said. “No more than Brooke, anyhow. Or anybody else in this family.”

Elle didn’t seem relieved by his answer. She uncurled slightly, hesitated, then signed, “Even though I don’t talk?”

Eli snorted. “You don’t wanna talk, that’s fine. There’s enough loudmouths around to make up for it.” He frowned. “What’s making you ask this?”

Elle didn’t answer, once again silencing herself by wrapping her arms around her legs. But before Eli could figure out something else to say, or if he even truly wanted to open this can of worms, Elle spoke.

“Kids at school,” she whispered. “Think it's weird I don’t wanna talk.”

For a few moments, Eli wondered just how frowned upon it would be for him to go beat up a bunch of fourth-graders. Unfortunately, he reasoned, a bunch of snot-nosed kids probably weren’t worth the risk of juvie.

“Listen,” he said, resolving that if he couldn’t solve the problem for Elle he could at least try and make her feel better. “People are stupid, so fuck ‘em and their opinions. Don’t repeat that in front of your dads,” he added, belatedly realizing he probably shouldn’t be teaching his 9-year-old cousin swear words.

That at least pulled something like a smile from Elle.

“Plus, Uncle Jay stops talking and signs at least half as much as you do, so who are you gonna believe? A bunch of dumb kids, or your cool dad?”

“You think he’s cool?” Elle asked, signing once again.

“Don’t tell him I said that, he’ll never let me live it down,” Eli said conspiratorially.

Elle stifled a giggle against the back of her hand.

“Atta girl.” Eli ruffled her hair. “Now, how’s about I take you home and we see how many baked goods we can sweet talk your dad into making us, hm?”

“He won’t before dinner,” Elle said, scrunching up her face.

“Have a little faith, hm?” Eli winked, then pushed himself to his feet.

[xneontragedyx]

Is it emotional abuse if my boyfriend says he hates me, doesn’t want me, and that I’ve been nothing but a shit girlfriend?

Yes it is. When someone puts you down and attempts to make you feel less than, it is indeed abuse. You don’t need that in your life. If someone cares for you, they will motivate you and lift you up, not tear you down. If you hear something enough, you will begin to believe it. If he feels that way then why is he with you? Better still, whey are you with him?

Move on and leave that abusive idiot to his own misery. Never let anyone break your spirit or your heart. You are worth more than that. The fact is that he needs you a lot more than you need him. Personally; I wouldn’t waste my time, but that is a decision you will have to make. Would you want your daughter to be treated that way? I don’t think so. Then why would you permit yourself to be? Np man is worth that Dear. Walk away now. There is no happily ever after to this.

Yes, it is.

Tell him if he's that unhappy, and if he thinks you're such as awful person, that he is more than welcome to walk his ass out the nearest door and get the fuck out of your life, and the sooner, the better.

Or you can leave him. Whichever is most convenient for you. Either way, dtmfa.

My ex was mad at me because apparently I was stupid and blind for not seeing the truth because he directly told me in his own way what he was doing but you know I don't speak cheater so I didn't I mean when you're not the other way over my head I didn't get it but yeah he he used to drop him some stuff and I just wouldn't get it cuz like I thought we were fine but yeah he would have a girl on the side and when I went to work on my daughter went to school she would come over from like 8:00 in the morning till like 3:00 or something maybe like 2:30 or whatever sometimes he would get her like a taxi like a taxi f I don't know I saw this online taxiF. I don't know what that is but it seems like a really shady like delivery of thing like a drivers and stuff I don't know it doesn't really explain what it is you know but it seems shady he also had on his thing had privacy.com which is you can like buy things hotels go out to eat pay for whatever but it's connected to your bank account but it's under like an alias like a hidden name so he had that and then he had live 360 which is a GPS for whoever signs up it's supposed to be like a positive thing right but he managed to like do something to the GPS where it gave off false locations to where it look like he was working but he was really like doing something else so he was doing all these things and then like he was cheating on me for a year and a half I think he got fed up because the girl was like waiting for him to like break up with me so he started getting really like like totally like a dick just so mean I try to work things out with him and but he finally like I don't know he was like I can't do this anymore and he broke the lease he broke the lease and that was that. Later on I found out that he was talking like mad s*** about me and my daughter saying that I was like a bad mom my daughter is a spoiled brat and lazy probably has ADHD or something he said I was fat ugly and dumb that all I was good for is the money he pretty much called me a cash cow and he said I had nothing of value to offer

Yes . This is so very sad. Learn the grey rock method here on Quora to help you. If possible , get into some therapy. He’s insecure and wants you to be also. He will not change , in fact this kind of person will become worse. The worst thing about this , is now you’re questioning yourself. He wants this …. Now he’s made his goal. Which is to upset you , confuse you , & to have you wa...

My boyfriend said he hates me during an argument. Did he mean it?

My boyfriend always says he hates me when he gets angry, but then tells me he didn’t mean it. Why?

What do I do with my boyfriend who treats me like he hates me and emotionally abuses me, then the next minute he's sweet? I've asked him to move out, but he won't leave, or tell me what he wants. Just silence and no love, but won't leave, why?

I might classify that as emotional abuse.

The more important issue is why are you still using the term “boyfriend” to refer to this person. How about promoting him to “ex-boyfriend”? Problem solved!

Break up with him.

He is, in the simplest human terms, a monster.

You don’t allow this.

You do not love him. You may have become desperate for his approval but he is unworthy of anything but contempt.

Save yourself. This is NOT love.

Honey do yourself a big favour and trade this fool in for a real one who will want you and respect you for who you are.

He is not your boyfriend, he is a boy who is abusing you to make himself feel better about himself.

Get rid of him dear.

I would definitely grant his wishes for being single! What an ass he is!!

You’re going to be so much better without him!!

Best wishes

Girl, Get you another boyfriend. Right Now!. You don’t need abuse from him. If you don’t get rid of him. He is going to start physically abusing you. I know you don’t want that to happen to you. So get rid of him now. Good Luck

What do I do with my boyfriend who treats me like he hates me and emotionally abuses me, then the next minute he's sweet? I've asked him to move out, but he won't leave, or tell me what he wants. Just silence and no love, but won't leave, why?

Because he’s a selfish jerk, that’s why.

First, I’m going to tell you this: I’m 65 (female), married four times and several lovers. That’s my experience-and “hard education”.

Now, I’m going to tell you something that you don’t want to hear, but I say it to help you. Which I take it- is the only real reason that you are writing here.

Every time, from what I have experienced myself or observed in another’s relationship, (did I say EVERY SINGLE TIME), this behavior from a man meant that he was “cheating”.

I’m truly sorry to tell you-no woman wants to hear it. And many, MANY will just not let themselv

Yep. And you should leave his sorry pathetic abusive ass ASAP! He is an insecure loser who is taking out his feelings of failure and shortcomings out on you. You are nobody’s whipping post and you shouldn't accept being treated less than a person. Pack your stuff and get out before he takes it to the next level—and he will.

Good luck.

You would be abusing yourself if you remain in that relationship.

Why does my narcissistic boyfriend give me the feeling he hates me?

Because he does.

You are whole and he is sucking off your qualities and abilities, and he hates you for being better than him.

He resents you for being weak and a fool and letting him use you at the same time.

Please ditch that waste of human breath. Being alone is far better than being a narc feeder.

My boyfriend said he hates me during an argument. Did he mean it?

It doesn’t matter whether your boyfriend meant he hates during an argument. The fact that he said it should be enough to turn you away from him, Let your life change to something good you deserve.

My boyfriend says really mean things to me. Like, he hates me. But when he’s not mad, he says he didn’t mean it. What should I believe? It seems like some of the things he says are true.

Original question: My boyfriend says really mean things to me. Like, he hates me. But when he’s not mad, he says he didn’t mean it. What should I believe? It seems like some of the things he says are true.

44yr old male answer.

Get rid of his tailend. I told both of my boys if you want to be treated like a King they had to treat their ladies like Queens.

If he hit you and later said he didn't mean it I would hope that you get the hell away from him. That's what he is doing now but with words. I'm not saying he will turn physically abusive but the possibility of him becoming that way if he is verb

My boyfriend said he hates me during an argument. Did he mean it?

My boyfriend always says he hates me when he gets angry, but then tells me he didn’t mean it. Why?

What do I do with my boyfriend who treats me like he hates me and emotionally abuses me, then the next minute he's sweet? I've asked him to move out, but he won't leave, or tell me what he wants. Just silence and no love, but won't leave, why?

What should I do if my boyfriend says he hates me and doesn't want me right now, but will soon, and to just give him time?

Why can’t I leave my narcissist boyfriend? I am miserable. He mentally and emotionally abuses me. Why do I keep letting this happen?

My boyfriend says really mean things to me. Like, he hates me. But when he’s not mad, he says he didn’t mean it. What should I believe? It seems like some of the things he says are true.

Why is it that when my boyfriend gets mad at me he says he hates me and I’m a worthless person?

What should you do when your boyfriend hates you?

What do I do when my boyfriend is all I want in a guy but has anger issues and emotionally abusive when he gets angry?

Why does my boyfriend treat me like he hates me but says he doesn’t, but treats me that way?

[taegularities]

Hey Ridd!! Sorry for the rant in advance..!!

I haaatteee ir when Tumblr loses my asks 😭😭😭😭 2 of my asks sent to you have literally just disappeared.

You knew about the first going amiss, which was pretty much Love, warmth and Hugs for you as well as sooooooo much Love for our CMI couple and adoration for SBW and all that it encompasses. My hope and prayers that whatever is in store for the CMI couple, may everything for them come to pass in such a way that they face everything *together* and not apart 🥲

The other ask was sent right after I completed reading CMI Seven. (This is an unedited snip of it since I was adding my comments to the notepad to send them all together in an ask. This is what remains saved on my NP - No edits and all the jk gifs I searched up gone amiss)

Will you still give me a Goodnight's kiss or..?

Here, my hearteu cracked a little

Press the lightest kiss against.

.. and then broke

The puffy cheeks, the youthful pout, the big, big eyes flashing to the ground. Unsure what to say, unsure what you're thinking of him

Mhm.. My big girl?

I'm in a puddle!! 🫠🫠🫠

My feisty little girl.

Aaaaaeeeekk!!!!! This Lovee 🥰🥰🥰

A big hand waves in tiny

🥺 Baby Koo..

I'm already more than halfway through.. I don't want this to endd!! 😭😭

Where's the focus on the Underwear? You can barely see it. Are people plotting against you?

The panic setting in! She's spiralling. I'M Spiralling!!

And then I totally lost myself in the story... !

This was totally worth the wait Rid! So Much Love, albeit veiled for sometime, but present nonetheless. They deserve the world 💓💓

But now I can't wait for CMI10!! 🤍🤍

PS: Seems like my ask is one amongst those that disappeared just like that. I had sent it lil bit before your hiatus. Just a bit of Positivity, concern and Love for yu. 🤍Ah no worries, I'd be sending many more of those for yu regardless. Although, now I'm gonna go off to see if there's a way to find sent asks and resend them! 😂

Much Love n Hugs 🤍🤍

Again, sorry for the Loooonnnggg as msg!! 🤍🤍🤍

HEY!! never apologise for long messages!! im slow with asks sometimes, but i genuinely love reading long, elaborate ones!! first off, tumblr is cruel for swallowing your messages, i definitely didn't get the second one :') but i did receive the first and it was the sweetest thing ever, it truly means a lot to me that you've been enjoying this series so much. like i literally saw you reading through it on wp and loved all you had to say :')

also so grateful you read cmi9.5 so fast 🥺 not wanting it to end is one of the biggest compliment ever. fret not though, i've been working on the next main chapter and am hoping to have it out v soon!! im very scared, like i truly hope it'll be worth the wait, too. seriously, thank you for all your support. here's to tumblr behaving next time and letting your asks go through!! drop by literally anytime 🥺🤍

[bbnibini]

Qin Shi Huang, my blorbo. I didn't even whale for him. He just kept coming home and I spoiled him rotten (I ran Arts based teams, so he fit in immediately)

And I love seeing your blorbos ☺️ They deserve love.

I genuinely miss the game sometimes, but my phone refuses to run it again without freaking out. I hope it's a possibility when I upgrade. I do miss the less... insane combat. I was genuinely into the story (including the early chapters that people complain about) and would like for it to not be as... difficult to get through. I'm not good at the strategy of it all nor do I really want to think about 10+ things at once. I just want to enjoy the joyful angst of the lostbelts.

For context, I stopped just after India came out (never played it).

Ooh! The LB3 Ruler, right? From my own runs with him, he's really fun and a really good solo/CQ choice!

I'm F2P in Fate GO too. I only ever spent SQ in GSSRs because tbh spending money on SQ here isn't really worth it unlike in say...Genshin where there is a guarantee you will get who you want.😅 Even the new safety net Fate GO introduced is really steep and not accessible to F2P.

I got my Arthurs from saving SQ for several months and grinding pretty much every free SQ I can get! I saved up around 500ish SQ by the time his banner came up and managed to snag 3 copies! And with the current banner he has going right now, after two painful tenpulls, I finally have four! I want to roll more but there's so many good servants coming this year (CASTORIA RERUN! OBEROOOOON!😭💕) so I'm holding back and coping with the mana prism tickets.

I personally struggled in challenge quests and some annoying nodes on Gilfest/Nerofest. But from what I saw in LB6 beyond, the gimmicks seem really annoying/tedious ><! (The LB7 gimmick is just...wow. for spoiler reasons I won't elaborate but it really forces you to raise ALL your servants).

I do remember them giving us those revival cubes(?) In JP where you can continue the battles and revive your units with full NP charge without spending SQ or command spells. Wait lemme check my JP...

It's this one I think? I didn't check if NA already has it cause I already cleared the available main stories.

And no shame on that! I haven't properly read the main stories lately too (only have enough brain power to read the event ones cause it's not as serious) and stopped around LB2. From there I just read summaries and translations of the LBs from Reddit and wiki. I suggest reading through summaries from translators if you still wanna read the lore! (That's what I did when I didn't have the phone to play the game at the time 🥲) They condensed the info into manageable pieces so it isn't too overwhelming.

[kalopsia-stars]

Communication

Warning(s): self-aware characters, mentioned pain, lol trying to get used to features so kindly excuse any out of place stuff, 100% not proof-read

narWhalin

I need to log out for a sec

[you]

oh sure np

And there you were, with Aether as your current character, standing in the middle of Liyue Harbor facing the sea next to the waypoint in the second "floor", waiting for your friend to come back. The blue 1P circle in the top left corner was the only thing reminding you that you were still in co-op mode, but other than that everything seemed normal.

Until that chat notification appeared.

At first, you thought it was the notification for when your friend left your world, but you couldn't help but shake the feeling that wasn't the case.

Upon hitting the 'Enter' button, there was a simple message bubble with no profile picture, no name, and not even a message inside it.

Floating in the semi-transparent black space was just a blank message bubble that came from the side where your messages go.

Freemogems potential?

Before you could think nothing more of it, another one came out, this time with a simple word in it.

Hi

Underwhelming, what you want to describe it as, being that "Hi" was all you got. Though the more you thought about it, the more you realized the situation. An unidentified person just said "Hi." An unidentified person just said "Hi."

What do you even do, ignore that? But messaging back doesn't exactly seem the right respons--oh god my hands are already on the keyboard.

[you]

Who are you?

Just as you saw the text bubble appear, your screen flashes a blinding white. It happened so fast, you couldn't read what was typed out. While you were upset about that, what had you more worried was that your game had just crashed and most importantly, you have no idea how to fix it.

Before you could do the ol' Alt + F4 trick, everything comes back. It was as if the game came back from a reload. The Co-op symbol in the top left was still there, your four characters on the side were there--all normal.

The messages, however, still fresh in your memory, prompt you to check the chat. Yet, to your dismay, all that was there was the notification saying your friend had left your world.

"That can't be right," You close the chat. "Right?"

On the other hand, Aether, who was standing in Liyue Harbor in your view, was suffering.

His body was in excruciating pain. Body ache and a massive headache were all that he could focus on. The System (that damn System, he curses) is practically yelling at him about warnings and such.

The only thing keeping him from actually comprehending what it's saying is the very "punishment" he's getting for coming into contact with you. Though all he wants to do is keel over on the ground to hold himself in comfort the best he could, the System overlays pressure on all the pain he's going through, keeping him standing up straight.

Yet, in the corners of his eyes, he can still see what you're seeing.

The map in the corner, the four icons on the side (including himself, much to the strange discomfort), and the chat in the bottom left corner--all at the edges of his sight.

All Aether had to do was focus on them, and he could interact with them like you do.

He's gotten closer. He and the others still want to find out what's going on, why this is happening. But first, they need to make contact with you.

Worth it. He tells himself, just as the "punishment" slowly fades. I'll tell Albedo it worked when They leave.

[1016anon]

Title: Inception AU one-shot Author: 55anon Fandom: Bridgerton Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton/Kate Sharma Summary: In which Kate is Anthony's Head of Security. And his wife.

Ever since Dominic Cobb-the-Knob had successfully incepted himself into believing he'd performed inception, people have been taking a crack at it themselves, to varying degrees of abject failure. But everyone gives it a go at least once because it's the unsolvable problem of dreamshare, like P=NP or the Riemann Hypothesis.

Which is how Carl found himself in fuckin Viscount Anthony Bridgerton's militarized mind, having the shit kicked out of him by the Viscountess. Kate Sharma had been one of the best in the business before she faffed off to marry some lordling; Carl and his team really should have known better than to take this job. But the money was too good to resist and there had been significant advances in dreamshare since Sharma had left the industry.

All research showed that Viscount Bridgerton had some Issues regarding his father, mother, and seven siblings. It should have been an easy thing to exploit that weakness. It was quite easy-- not so easy that it tripped their alarms that it was a trap, not so difficult it was impossible-- until Sharma popped out of nowhere, guns blazing, shot his team in their hands and kneecaps (to prevent themselves from suiciding out) and crooned that she was going to have so much fun with them.

Which was how he found himself in his own subconscious being hijacked by Bridgerton's head of security. Carl was not aware projections could do that.

Worse still was the fact that Viscount Bridgerton was standing behind his wife, huffing with impatience.

"Darling, I know this is important, but could you hurry it up a bit? I need to catch a plane in an hour."

"Good things come to those who wait."

"If I miss our anniversary because of you, I'm telling Kathani."

"I'll tell her myself."

"We are not having inception sex or whatever you like to call it for our eighth anniversary. I had porn running through my mind at every board meeting for three months."

Sharma simply looked over her shoulder at her husband and winked.

"You love it when I used your mind as a playground."

"I love it less when you use my mind as bait," he grumbled.

Bait? What?

"Yes, Carl, bait. My wife likes to keep current with the developments in dreamshare. She's currently extracting you and your team's entire life now, and then going to store it in my brain-- I am not a goddamn cloud server, Kathani."

"You know I always make it worth your while, Husband."

"Stop fantasizing about my wife, Gerald."

"It's part of his militarization."

"... Pardon?"

"Most people in the dreamsharing business are men, so Gerald here thought it would be clever to militarize his subconscious with hookers and blow."

"Points for creativity, I suppose."

"Not all of them can have a femme fatale like you, Anthony."

"If I recall--"

"Shut up, Pierre--"

"You shut up, Phillipe."

"Huh. Identical twins. Interesting."

"Do keep up, my Lord, it's a split persona."

"Not a multiple forge?"

"No, bit more complex than that. Anyway, Pierre, you were saying?"

Carl was rethinking all his life choices. He wished he had a femme fatale waiting for him at home, probably wearing really sexy lingerie and fuming that he was late for their anniversary dinner.

"Well, Cobb sort of had his wife as his head of security."

"You dumbass, Cobb's wife was a ghost. She killed his own teammates during jobs. Does Kate look like a ghost to you?"

Bridgerton shot Gerald's gut-- Carl knew from experience it would be an extremely painful death. He probably wouldn't even be dead by the time the PASIV ran out.

"That's Sharma to you, Gerald," Bridgerton paused. "Or Her Ladyship."

Sharma rolled her eyes.

"I saw that. I can't have every person who waltzes through my mind speaking to you on a first name basis."

"Here's the drive."

"Are you serious? There are 400 terabytes of data on this!"

"I think most of it is Gerald's porn," she smirked.

Bridgerton's face was thunderous.

"I was joking. It's not porn, Anthony. Phillipe and Pierre actually had a wealth of very useful information about Lottie."

"The Queen."

"Yes. They're French, they have no hang-ups about royalty like you do."

"Who is it that insists on harmonizing when she sings God Save the Queen?"

"You have a lovely voice. Should we leave them here?"

"Bleeding out in my mind? No!"

He shot all four of them.

Carl woke up to the terrifying visage of Kate Sharma looming over him.

"Hey there, Sharma. So... I guess you weren't just the head of security?"

"No, I am. You're still in Anthony's dream. I like to take people down two levels."

She shot him again.

This time he woke up tied up and gagged in a van surrounded by the Duke of Hastings' security guards.

"Darling?"

That was Bridgerton's voice in the front seat.

"I might be a little late for our--"

He immediately pulled his phone away from his ear and winced.

"It's hardly my fault that I--"

"Of course not! Do you think I enjoy being kidnapped?"

"I had my security team!"

"Fine, yes, I gave them the slip, but it was because--"

"She pulled 400 terabytes of data, does that make you happy? I'm developing a migraine."

"I DO IT OUT OF LOVE!"

"What? Carl, Gerald-- who fantasizes about you far too much, by the way, I think you should do something about it, I've got him here in the car--"

"I think I'm allowed to be a bit possessive!"

"It's flattering in theory, but not when I'm treated to a smell-o-vision cinema."

"He didn't even get your scent right."

"I'm not sulking! No, do not--"

"Some other one. French, starts with a P. You said they were a split persona."

Bridgerton turned around.

"Your name is really Pierre-Phillipe?"

Pierre-Phillipe, also gagged, nodded.

"Not for another three hours."

"You were the one who lectured our entire security team on 'the proper disposal of bodies,' so I would say the delay is entirely your fault."

"Yes, yes, I can do a memory wipe. Have done it too many blood times to count now. Also your fault, by the way."

"Their fingerprints? Why--"

"We need to address your habit of collecting biometrics, my darling. It's getting out of hand."

Carl began banging his forehead against the nearest hard surface (a security guard's shin, as it turned out). He hadn't needed to be reminded of Sharma's fondness for terrible puns.

"Paranoid menace," Bridgerton said a little too fondly.

"I love you too."

"If I wanted to be really cruel, I would have taken their little token things. I still don't understand why they need them."

"All right, I'll let you go. I really am sorry, love."

"Happy anniversary."

Bridgerton looked at the PASIV and sighed.

"Right, let's get this overwith."

--

Carl woke up in his hotel room. He was greeted with the sight of an enormous bouquet of flowers and within the arrangement, a little stuffed bee.

There was a card:

Flowers for your femme fatale. Best of luck finding her, and I'll be sure to return the favor on your eighth anniversary.

He had no idea what any of it meant, but had a very strong urge to start looking for a wife.

[kinka-juice]

Gastroenterologist office has put me in a downright catch 22. It's been two years since I've been in, which, my bad, I moved away and moved back, got out of sync with regular appointments.

I've been on Xeljanz the entire time, the only IBD med that has worked for me other than steroids. They say they can't refill my script until I come in. I schedule an appointment at the end of June for Sept. 14, they let me have another month of Xeljanz. Great.

Except I forgot I have a wedding to go to and will see some relatives for the first time in years. So I call today to reschedule. Well, now it will be November 7th if you want to see the IBD specialist, but we can put you on the cancelation list and then put you with the NP in mid October. Fine, I'll see the NP, in my experience NPs are better in clinic anyways.

"So you'll prescribe me more Xeljanz to tide me over, right?"

"..."

"Right?"

"Well, since you haven't been seen in two years, no."

Okay, well that's not going to happen because I need to treat my UC or I'm gonna have an awful flare and end up totally unable to leave the house and all that good stuff and then you're going to make me go through another steroid course and just prescribe more Xeljanz, I end up worse and will end up needing more of the clinic's time which is apparently an extremely limited resource with a two month+ waiting period.

Anyways, I end up convincing them to give me samples to tide me over and I just swung by to get them and they gave me like six full bottles (some are 10mg where I take five, so I get two months out of those bottles). I know I was the first patient in the clinic to go on Xeljanz, I may be the only one still, and they just dumped their whole supply on me? Okay? Cool?

It's worth noting the retail cost of one 60 ct. Bottle (month's supply) is like $5000 without insurance (about $15 with manufacturers rebate card, which only works with insurance) and they just handed me like $30,000 of meds for free.

The US medical system is full of more shit than I am. You can't prescribe me one month without seeing me, but can just hand me half a year's supply? Okay.

[solanj]

Gatewatch&Co playing DnD

Jace

Jace is the forever DM. His plotlines are extremely well thought-trough and his puzzles are exquisite. Prefers detective-style stories and is great at setting up the intrigue. Players never can guess too early. He knows ALL the rules. Is prepping meticulously. He is that type of GM that will hand out actual letters or trinkets to players, if they happen to find them. Every NPC, every plotline, every bit of PC's backstories are accounted for and weaved into the planned narrative. (Of course it all always end up completely derailed) Actively uses illusions for both descriptions and combat and everyone just LOVES that. Still insists on having actual minis, though. After some persuasion from the party agreed to use telepathy to tell players the "only your character knows that" info, which drove his intrigue even further.

Chandra

Chandra usually plays a hotheaded sorcerer. Gender and age may vary, but the sorcerer always falls for whomever Nissa is playing at the moment. Is the most enthusiastic of the group and the #1 reason Jace's thought-through plots get derailed. Because she always invents something crazy and drags the rest into it and even she never knows what her character is going to do until she opens her mouth to declare it. Due to it has the most dead characters among the party - Jace isn't a harsh GM, but he never fudges his rolls. Chandra doesn't sweat it, though, she just brings a new sorcerer next session. She generally ensures a goofy, light-hearted atmosphere and doesn't like it when stories go too dark or dramatic. Never waits for others to make a plan before heading into combat. Has the quickest combat turns.

Nissa

Nissa only agreed to play because Chandra was SO enthusiastic about it that Nissa just hadn't the heart to say "no". She ended up loving it. Doesn't speak much at the table (and her characters are always the quite ones), but has the most carefully crafted backstories. Only uses third-person style, but never speaks out of character during the play time. Actually knows the rules very well and never blunders, but also never engages in rules arguments when they happen. Once all the revelations from her backstory come through her character ends up being everyone's favourite, remembered for a long time.

Gideon

Gideon only plays because he thinks that a common bonding activity such as this is great for the Gatewatch's dynamics. Is usually the one to bring in snacks and to help Jace tidy everything up after the session. Plays martial tanky protective characters, usually goes with the options that PHB recommends. Likes to strategize in-game. Isn't good at roleplaying but is trying his best and everyone appreciates it. Was actually sad when Liliana left the party since her character made it easier for him to engage in conversations and decision-making due to her teasing and provocative nature. (No one knows if that was intentional on her part)

Teferi

Teferi prefers GM'ing but doesn't have the time to prep and run the whole campaign. So he usually runs rather short adventures. He leans towards more humorous style and is a great improviser. Likes to give his players maximum freedom and allows them to goof around all they want, but still manages to make the plot work. His NPCs are usually witty, he does different (and often exagerrated) voices for each of them and players tend to engage into social side of the game a lot because the dialogue scenes with him are just so enjoyable. Loves to mess with the players. Adds red herrings, makes NPS pretend to believe the player's bluff only to reveal the truth at the best possible moment later, hands out tricky magical items (most players learned to NEVER draw cards from unchecked decks, but there is always Chandra...). He is placing the most bizarre and memorable mimics and hilarious traps. But does all that in good faith and with good humor, to make the players thrilled but not annoyed. And it works!

Kaya

Kaya plays exclusively rogues and she probably tried every build possible. Is the min-maxer of the party. Is known for completely decimating the encounters that Jace planned to be extra challenging. Was often splitting the party at first, but agreed not to after some persuasion. Doesn't roleplay much, though she enjoys spectating others do it and never tries to force them to the next scene. LOVES Jace's puzzles and usually finds an unorthodox but interesting and convincing way to solve them. (That's probably why Jace can't really be annoyed with her despite her minmaxing) Has the best luck for crits in combat, but the worst for disabling traps.

Vraska

Vraska rather often misses the sessions due to guild and/or pirate business, but she tries her hardest to have free spots on her schedule during game nights. Is probably the most dedicated member of the group. Grows very attached to her characters and once the campaign ends she never returns to the same archetype, so that the impression wouldn't dilute. And because of it she doesn't have a "type", though her characters are always brave and have troubled pasts. Is the one to commission the paintings of her characters (and sometimes the rest of the party too). Is also quite the shipper (no matter if the character in question is her own, party member or NPC), but keeps it to herself, only sharing with Jace sometimes. She tells Jace everything about her character in the beginning so that he can play it when Vraska has to miss a session.

Ral

Ral played every class in the game that he could more or less convincingly make into a charming bastard. Is prone to hogging the spotlight, but does roleplay so well and is so charming that others let it slide. Often insists on using some homebrewed rules (which he keeps reinventing right during the conversation), giving Jace a headache. Jace gave in once, but during the next several sessions he made sure to stage the situations so that every possible side effect of said homebrew came to bite Ral in the ass (yes, it's where most of his prep time went). Now they usually settle on just some minor changes for Ral's character. Is #2 reason for derailing Jace's plotlines. Unlike Chandra he does this absolutely intentionally, and Jace knows it, but sees as a challenge. His character is the one, to whom all the "curiosity" magic items go. You have no idea what a dedicated Izzet mage can do with a simple unmoving rod. Jace actually throws extra stuff his way just to see what crazy application Ral will come up with.

Liliana

Liliana played a couple sessions once. She made a point of derailing the plotline in a discreet way while staying strictly in-character. Also she made Jace fluster whenever he had to play through a conversation with her via NPC. Decided that it was fun but ultimately not worth it in the long run. (To Jace's relief) Since she never actually plays Jace can discuss with her his plans and plots and sometimes he asks for her input on the villains. Sometimes he even invites Liliana to act out a villain in the dialogue-heavy session and she is VERY convincing. Her villains are always the ones players love to hate. From time to time she GMs oneshots and prefers intrigue- and drama-heavy stories, often horror, that may or may not be inspired by her long and varied life experiences. She isn't a stranger to fudging the rolls or overriding the rules if she feels that the situation calls for it. Is very good at reading the table and the undisputed master of putting her players in heart-wrenching situations faced with tough decisions. They usually love it, but Chandra refuses to play with her anymore because "don't we have enough of that shit IRL?!" She sometimes contemplates running a full WoD campaign, but always decides against it in the end.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Feel free to add your ideas!

[lucysweatslove]

I’m gonna be talking about weight, body image, disordered eating, health and medical anxiety, generally triggering things so I’m putting it under a read more. It’s really just a ramble and nothing worth reading- a brain dump for me more than anything else. For those who don’t want to read more but want to just know- I’m doing okay but life has had other plans and I may have something actually wrong health-wise which has been triggering for me.

So, way back in 2018 I gained like 30 lbs in 2 months (mid October to mid December). I was devastated. I had already gained 20-25 lbs or so during actual recovery from my disordered eating which I was doing on my own/without support, so I was really struggling. I was so ashamed of the weight gain and how I looked that I didn’t want to see my PCP (note: she was an NP, but that doesn’t impact what I think of her- I didn’t want to see her because of my own shame and thinking I should just be able to manage my weight on my own). So here I was sitting around 180-185 lbs and for the first time in my life actually obese, not sure how to cope. I was confused about how I could’ve gained that much so quickly- I didn’t buy Halloween candy that year, gained the weight before Christmas, and didn’t do thanksgiving festivities even. My eating habits hadn’t seemed to change, and there was no way I was suddenly that much less active. But still I blamed myself.

Not even a month later I started a new job and also decided I wanted to try to diet again because I hated my body’s new “fat” appearance. Except I was worried about calorie counting being triggering. I was newly married and planning our actual wedding, so while I wanted to be “shedding for the wedding” (VOMIT) I also didn’t want to go back to Hell aka rigid restrictive eating that would drive wedges in all of my relationships. I tried going back to the gym and eating a lot of chicken breast and veggies, thinking if I restricted TYPES of food I would be fine. LOL NOPE. I tried keto thinking it would be a way to not fixate on calories… this was unsustainable because I just didn’t have enough options and I LOVE LOVE LOVE fruit. Each attempt at whatever I did was met with initial weight loss and then extreme hunger, a big trip, some outing, my actual wedding, which would kick me out of that mindset and I’d gain it all back. At one point I thought it was my antidepressant (since it made it hard to care about anything), so I went off of that, had a bad reaction to another one, and then essentially didn’t have a medication for months. Including on my wedding.

By the end of 2019 I was essentially that same 180ish lbs, and I had decided I needed to “get my life back.” I got on a new antidepressant shortly after an illness, and I realized I was sitting on my hands waiting for somebody to give me permission to apply to med school. So I decided to face my insecurity regarding my “downward trend” (due to health reasons) in undergrad by… going to grad school. I applied in early 2020. I started to go back to the gym, count calories, I really thought it would be fine since I didn’t have fear foods anymore and felt “basically recovered.” Like, calories were the less extreme option because it gave room for me to eat all the foods I love.

And then I started getting back spasms, and the fevers started, and I started and graduated grad school, and then my husband needed new hips, and I got a new job, and littered in all of that were attempts to just mindfully eat more produce and love my body more. At one point in grad school, I admit to buying really low calorie dehydrated food packs to “make the most of my winter break” but it was absolutely MISERABLE to eat those and it got super cold and I just said nope, not going back. Throughout that time, I just thought that I was fat now, and that’s all anybody would see. I honestly doubted that my disordered eating was ever problematic MULTIPLE times because… I’m fat now? That’s literally it, that’s the whole reason I started to invalidate my own experience. School and work and health issues had really decreased my activity and focus on health and nutrition, I felt awful in my body physically, and I had no idea how to make any kind of actual healthy change because up until this point, and even at this point, I only knew “health and wellness” in two contexts: disease process and medicine, and dieting and exercise for “weight control.” Nobody I knew actually ate balanced diets if they weren’t actively trying to become or stay thin- it wasn’t “normal” or “natural.” Exercise? Same story except for actual athletes, but even those that I knew talked about weight control all the time.

Fast forward to 2022. I came into the new year feeling like I needed to make a change because of how I felt, but my husband and I were in counseling and I knew a major sticky point for us was my lack of going to med school. I think my desire to “make a change” was in large part about control because I didn’t feel like I had control over med school. I was CONVINCED in my mind that me being fat now made me a lesser candidate. I might get an interview, but I’d be judged on how fat I was and would instantly have a bias over me. I was tempted- truly- to drop to 800-900 calories a day with 2-3 hours of exercise and try to shed weight quickly. But I kept up searching for body positive and HAES content. I reminded myself of all I spoke on in my sports nutrition class- health has far less to do with our weight and size than our habits. At this point, I felt really good about body positivity. I made my focus on activities I love doing, getting good MICROnutrients (no deficiencies here), etc. This is when I “came back” to tumblr in early 2022.

I then started to feel the same way I did before- it was, once again, becoming a bit of an obsession, and my body was fatiguing. My heart quite literally felt off, and I was dizzy all the time. I thought maybe with everything, I was taking in too much potassium and a higher activity level. I gave my body time to rest and… I just stopped doing the things. Work got busy. I signed up to retake the MCATs. I got COVID.

Honestly at the end of Covid I was back to around 175lbs. I was feeling okay about that- it’s still “fat” but I was happy to be feeling healthier and I could FINALLY start studying. After my first COVID day where I had an episode of intense muscle pain where I could not move, I was totally fine with my weight. While I was starting to study, though, I noticed my blood pressure was low and I was still feeling kinda meh. I was hardly hungry, and my bathroom habits changed. I wasn’t too upset with this, since it meant I could study for longer at a time without getting distracted by bathroom trips, and I figured my high stress levels were playing a role by essentially halting that “rest and digest” I should’ve been in for way too long.

After I finished the test, my stress seemed to reduce, but my heath stuff didn’t. I had a week off work and decided I wanted to start hiking again, see waterfalls, etc. And so I did. While I loved it, I kept feeling really dizzy all the time. I focused on getting more salt in my diet and making sure I was eating some carbs before and after the trial. My appetite improved, but my GI tract still felt sluggish. Often, I would feel actually hungry, but I’d also feel like my stomach was way too full. My reflux was really bad at this time, and that also made my nasal issues worse. My sleep suffered a ton, and I would spent 11 hours in bed because it would take me 3 just to fall asleep. I also noticed my lower stomach had fresh new red stretch marks.

At this point now, now only can I barely breathe out my nose most of the time, but my nose is bleeding often (just slight, small bleeds- no dripping really). I’ve tried PPIs and H2 agonists to help with the reflux. Honestly, as gross as this sounds, the only thing that helps is actually going to the bathroom? But usually when I go, it doesn’t all feel “out.” I’ve taken two laxative doses in the past couple of months to get some longer lasting relief. I visited my sister for a week (got back a week ago), and while down there, I realized my shorts that I bought to fit me last summer felt tight in the tummy. I thought it must be constipation or something similar, or heat edema, but it still was not fun to feel that “fat.” Also, I realized my 34G bras were getting tight, even on the band size, so that was extra weird. Even my sports bras weren’t fitting right. Usually a band in a L is too loose but I put up with it to fit my breasts, but between July to now, the bands starting getting tighter. Which means gain.

I weighed myself this morning at 195.8 lbs. literally the heaviest I have ever been. Up 20 lbs in the 2 months post-COVID, and that’s with me hiking more AND I started physical therapy for my back. Husband was confused and said something seemed wrong- because that’s a lot of weight to gain and he hasn’t seen me eat THAT much. He encouraged me to talk to my doctor, but I’m still convinced all they will say is that CLEARLY I’m lying about my intake and tell me to track calories and try to lose weight.

I’m also going to a water park this weekend, so I tried on my bathing suits, and none fit in a way I’d be comfortable with. A couple bottoms fit, but I realized all my tops didn’t- none of them have cups big enough to cover up my nipples in a secure enough manner, so I’d be constantly worried about “wardrobe malfunctions.”

I’m having kind of a hard time with all of this, but I’m trying right now to make sure I have clothes that fit my current body first. My mantra rn is “I deserve clothes that fit my body right now.” So I bought a size up in the shorts I bought last summer- I hope that will work. I also ordered 6 new tops in bra sizes, instead of the normal S/M/L/XL sizes, because I need them to actually fit. I got 3 tops in 2 different sizes after measuring- 36 bands and, because I’m kind of worried about how that will fit since there aren’t the 3 rows of hooks and too tight is far more noticeable than too loose, 38 bands too, just in case. I’m just praying that one size will fit me, and then I’ll return the ones in the other size since they were expensive.

Other than the new clothes for the water park, I feel a bit at a loss. On one hand I physically feel somewhat unwell quite often, and I’ve ran through the lists of potential culprits from anything from something as benign as stress to something as serious as a Cushing’s syndrome (such as from an ACTH-releasing tumor). Part of me is also terrified I may have diabetes now, even though I’ve never had any signs of pre-diabetes before now, but I’m thinking possible PCOS which can lead to insulin resistance. The obvious answer is “talk to my PCP,” and in general my PCP now is great, but I have an appointment in October and really don’t want to have any “preventable” disease and I feel like I need to be “doing all the right things” prior to seeing her anyway. And I’m scared, too, that when she suggests things like dieting, I will just burst into tears because the idea of what that means is… I guess invalidating to me.

Here’s the reality: finding yourself obese after eating disorder recovery is tricky enough as is. If I bring up the fact that I have struggled with my relationship with food and exercise, people automatically assume that I binge eat and just DON’T exercise/have never had the “discipline” to make myself exercise even if I don’t like it. They treat me like a liar when I clarify. When I bring up the couple periods of rapid weight gain with people who know and understand my history, I’m still told that I probably just didn’t realize how much I ate because I wasn’t actively tracking my calories and weighing my food. I’m constantly told maybe I just don’t have the willpower or discipline other people have, and I need to cultivate that, but that’s not a problem- the problem is I will take that “willpower” or “discipline” to a level that leaves me and the people around me absolutely miserable.

When I was thinner- “healthy weight” with a BMI around 21- nobody said those things to me. My mom not included (as she will find some way to criticize my appearance), I was never told my heath problems were BECAUSE of my body, or that if I gained 5 lbs over a couple weeks it was because of my eating habits (“oh I’m sure it’s just water weight from extra salt”) and that I was CLEARLY lying about my intake. And I was never told I needed to go on a very low calorie diet and exercise more if I complained about constipation.

Idk I feel like I have to do so much more for people to even consider that something might be wrong with my health other than being fat, and often what I have to do is really psychologically damaging, and nobody wants to admit that.

[highways-are-liminal-spaces]

I am going on a huge road trip soon to see national parks, over multiple weeks, across the whole of the US. I have driven from DC to NY and DC to NC but those are the longest road trips I’ve ever done. Do you have any tips?

Absolutely! Let me know if you want a particular kind of advice, but I’m just going to word-vomit about road trips in general.

First of all, I hope you have a wonderful time! If you’re wondering about covid-specific travel trips, I have an entire post here, so I’ll just address more broader advice here.

1) Buy a national parks all-access pass! They’re only $80 and most parks’ admission fees are high enough that it will be well worth your while after only a few. Plus, the money goes to the NPS!

2) If you want to visit a super touristy site, get there early. I can’t stress this enough, and I genuinely have no idea why people don’t do it en masse, but my partner and I are almost always either alone or with very few other people on hikes, at viewpoints, etc. just because we tend to get up at 6 am to get there. Trust me when I say the extra hour(s) of sleep are never worth jam packed trails or an hour long line of cars waiting to get into the park.

3) Freecampsites.net is an invaluable resource! It has paid campsites as well as free ones listed, and tends to give brief comments about each spot. I paid exactly $20 once to camp this entire past summer in Alaska, and everywhere else was free and secluded and beautiful, all based on that site.  It also is very good at recommending permitted camping spots, many of which are in my favorite parts of Utah and Arizona. The whole site is user-driven, so add your own experiences!

4) Audiobooks really make drives feel shorter. I love music and sports radio and conversation, but those are more fun road trip activities. Audiobooks are the emergency way to stay awake, or to get through the tedium that is Iowa. If you’re looking for something else to listen to, here’s a masterpost of every episode of Cabin Pressure, a criminally underrated BBC comedy that has singlehandedly gotten us home safely on at least four occasions.

5) Never have an itinerary that doesn’t leave at least an hour to spare for stops along the way in case of wildlife, cool rock formations, esoteric museums, takeout, flat tires, etc.

6) If you use one of the hotel booking service apps with a stamp collection, you’ll get a free night after your tenth booking, and you can generally find nice, clean motels in the $30-$100 range if it’s after 9pm in any given location. You can also generally negotiate prices at the front desk, if you’re at all comfortable with haggling. Be sure to tip well!

7) Check any motel for signs of bed bugs by lifting up the mattress and looking for stains. It’s quick, and if you find signs, leave and ask for a refund immediately. You’ll get one.

8) Do as much of your driving in the day as possible. It will keep you awake, and also you’ll get to see more of the scenery.

9) Know where your next gas, food, and caffeine are coming from at all times. Don’t assume there will be another gas station within any given number of miles, especially out in the West where it can be over 100 between stations.

10) Always carry water in your car, if nothing else. I also like to have a first aid kit, jumper cables, a flashlight, and a blanket.

11) If you see a road that looks like it would be the setting for a horror movie, you should absolutely always take it.

[brave-symphonia]

My thoughts on Olympus:

I feel like the start of this lostbelt wasn’t nearly as big as Atlantis, it was just Zeus shooting us out of the sky, pretty calm when compared to everyone sending every force they possibly could to kill us in Atlantis.

I was so happy for Mash when she got the Black Barrel, she gets a gun! And that gun was the Black Barrel! From Notes! It was genuinely so exciting.

I was a little disappointed all the Servants died, but I feel like it was for the best. It meant we had less characters to balance around and worry about, and really sells that we would have been fucked if not for the Counter Force summoning countless Servants for us.

It was also really interesting seeing all the different motivations and actions of the Crypters.

Kadoc and Pepe working with us, Kadoc also trying to find out extra information, Beryl kind of just lurking around and trying to get information with his own methods, and Kirschtaria just waiting to see what happens.

And Caenis joining us is not something I ever expected. And I think Kirsch chose him specifically so he would. Because he knew he’d join the side that was taking down the gods. That's also probably why he chose the Dioscuri, to fuel Caenis’s hatred.

And I love that we recruited him with food.

Also, FUCK DEMETER.

Can’t believe we summoned a giant samurai warrior, a giant Ares robot, and Romulus all with the same summoning ritual.

I also found the Dioscuri actually more interesting than I thought I would. Like, their whole deal was actually somewhat interesting.

I am curious about the Guda thing, how the Dioscuri jumped back from him after realizing he was the ammunition to the Black Barrel. Wondering about how that may develop.

And the developments with Kirschtaria were really interesting to me. His NP had him say he wanted to take down the gods, so the entire time I was wondering how exactly he planned to do that.

The reveal that he was going to make them obsolete by making everyone else into gods was just perfect. He never lied, he always chose his words carefully.

And I love that he did it because some orphan sacrificing their life for his just affected him in such a way, that he needed to make sure he lived in a way that was worth it all.

And then there’s Beryl deciding he needed to kill Kirschtaria, because he didn’t want a world where everyone is a god. Because he enjoys murdering people?

I love that. Because we know Beryl is a piece of shit, but to see him seriously betray Kirschtaria was just really good.

Not to mention the BRITISH LOSTBELT coming in and attacking the Tree of Emptiness and destroying it. Having LB6 show up and attack in the middle of LB5!

Also, it sounds like the British lostbelt is actually gone, but they have something that allows it to continue? The Dragon of Albion, maybe?

I loved Beryl at the end there, despite hating him. He's really good at manipulation and getting what he wants, even from aphrodite. I get the feeling he’ll be a fantastic villain in the next lostbelt.

Also, I think earlier in the Crypter arc, Kirsch mentioned he had 3 divine servants. I never questioned it because I thought of the Dioscuri as 2, but they always talk about them as a single servant, the last one was Atlas.

And all the revelations with the foreign god were just great.

I don’t think it was confirmed why she used the trees of emptiness and all that, other than to get a body.

My current theory is she bleached the earth to make a blank canvas, used the trees to “draw” on that canvas, and then had them gather energy from the lostbelts to grow into a body for her.

Really excited about the setups at the end. Kadoc with us, Pepe looking for veangance, the foreign god’s whole deal, Kirei mentioning the Ultimate One, Muramasa going to LB6.

And kind of interesting who Grand Saber might be.

Oh, and Musashi going out like that, I loved the whole thing.

The Foreign God being Olga Marie, even though I knew it was coming, it still really hits me.

[kimyoonmiauthor]

The excuses list for not paying marginalized people...

So this is the song and dance of why people won’t pay you for your work which always starts with: Because you are marginalized X, we’re not paying you because...

1. It’s for charity

Don’t you think it would be great social justice to write for us for FREE?

Fact: White cishet abled kept men, get 80x the pay of marginalized groups who have to accept either nothing. FUCK YOU. For free and charity, then where is the charity slip... oh wait, you can’t even give me a tax break on my taxes for my labor, so you shouldn’t be saying that. No, list the pay that you should have given me, file the charity slips for your country, set up a nonprofit and then you can give me the line about how it’s for charity. And if you’re a nonprofit, then you should be paying me anyway.

2. Look I’m working two jobs here.

So what? What does that have to do with me not getting paid?

3. Because I’m not getting paid.

You’re asking for someone’s labor. Pay them.

4. Don’t you think it would feel good to let it all out?

What would feel better is if you thought marginalized people were worth something and paid them equal to the privileged people. You’re hiring me, I can let it all out on my own blog.

5. Well, I’m a part of the marginalized group.

That’s worse. You know better.

There is a case of a magazine  THAT DIDN’T PAY remaking a label, in order to get people to COME TO THEIR WEBSITE and saying it was the “correct” one where the editor was of the same label. WTF, no. Doesn’t that sound terrible? And this was after the shout outs about how pay was lagging for their group.

6. The magazine is free and I don’t get any money from it.

Then why do I want to submit to your platform if you don’t have enough readers to pay for your magazine?

7. It’s Exposure!

On a magazine that doesn’t pay, doesn’t have enough readership, and you’re telling me I’m worth less than privileged people out there because of a certain label.

8. You’re being a troublemaker.

You mean by exposing that you won’t pay for people’s labor when you’re hiring them? You realize if you’re not a NP, this is shady. According to at least US law, you cannot set up a job for free unless it is an internship, and the internship cannot replace actual labor in the company.

You’ve not filed to be a non-profit, so the line about charity is shady. Who is the troublemaker?

9. I’m giving you the marginalized special and not paying you, though I advertised I would pay you.

No.

10. The exploratory committee/Can’t bother to set up donation buttons/Patreon/OMG, it’s so hard to do crowdsourcing.

Yeah, skip that one. They don’t have the time to bother trying to find ways to pay you, they won’t have time to bother editing your story, refining their contracts or actually caring about what you write. Exploratory shit is, “We thought about spending 2 hours of our time setting up a Donation set of buttons from our readers, but thought, Nyahh, fuck our writers because we’re getting labor for free and using slave contracts because we couldn’t bother even googling a boiler contract.”

In this case, RUN. RUN HARD.

Your labor is worth something. Your craft is worth something. You spent time, effort, money, etc honing it--a singular label, such as queerness, being a woman, being PoC, being disabled, adopted, etc should not say that your worth is ZERO. Make them pay you like privileged people or don’t submit and make sure others don’t submit by telling them they are worth something and that the privileged groups get more. Oh and allies, call out this behavior for what it is. If you’re their reader, encourage them to set up paypal and say you’d pay for a magazine subscription.

[funkymbtifiction]

Good morning, Charity! Based on your latest post, I guess it's safe to say the book is almost officially done, right? Congratulations! You must be really proud of it. I can't wait to order my own copy.

Curiously, you mentioned writing fiction is much easier in comparison, which reminded me of something I wanted to ask you. So far, I never wrote anything seriously in life, but it is my intention to soon start writing a fantasy novel after I am done with some current duties. As you are my only "tangible" writer reference, could you please tell me (and anybody else who may be interested in reading your response) the history of how your first book came to be, what were your struggles, what went wrong, what went right and also give general advice on writing fiction, especially for a starter? Perhaps things you wished you knew before doing it?

I don't know, for example, if you decide upon most of the story before writing or if you just think of it while doing it. For what it's worth, I already thought of my main characters, the villain, one additional character, the prologue, the beginning, some scenes that should happen and the ending, but I am not sure if it's enough to start or whether I should keep trying to develop it in my head first.

If it's not too much trouble, your advice would be of great use. Thank you :)

Don't get me wrong, writing a book is incredibly hard, whether you write nonfiction or fiction. But my Ne was created to write fiction, and it's way more enjoyable for me to live in a fantasy world full of characters that "appear" to me than to have to work on nonfiction and focus on tedious details, consistencies, figuring out how to structure the book for learning, etc. That is intensely STJ-land, which is hard for me to navigate for long periods of time -- and it's all I did for 7 months while working on this MBTI book. Thank God it's almost over. I get to back to Tudor England and nefarious plots in the caverns beneath a fictional London.

Every personality type writes stories / books differently, so I can't tell you what would work for you. If you feel confident knowing the beginning, end, and the characters / basic plot, that should be enough to dive in and start writing. Stories tend to build along the way and craft themselves if you are a Ne user (anywhere in the stack, as opposed to a Ni user, who prefers to plan it ALL in advance; all NJs I've talked to say characters "pop" into existence in their head, complete with back stories, professions, etc., and they think about it until the entire thing is structured and write it down; SPs report something similar, except they craft as they go more, since the entire story isn't apparent to them early on). SJs and NPs work similarly in that they improvise along the way, discover better ideas as they go, and continually re-craft / re-draft throughout revision.

My process as an ENFP is part-planning but largely improvisational. I make 80% of it up as I go along. It's an ongoing battle between Ne wanting to follow rabbit trails, invent 5 more characters, and bring in complicated subplots, and my lower Te trying to wrangle everything into a coherent, straightforward plot (thus causing me to stop on a regular basis and ask, "Is this contributing to the plot or not? is it derailing my plot? WHAT IS MY PLOT??? Who is my main character???"). Right now I'm working on my seventh and final novel in the Tudor series, so I have to wrap up everything I've set up in advance through other books. This means I have to plot more carefully than usual, since by chapter 15, these 5 events need to have taken place. By chapter 10, I have to have established most of them, going into a "climax" section of my book. Certain things MUST happen in chapter one, in chapter six, in chapter nine. I leave it a little flexible in case the writing naturally makes them happen sooner or later, but I know in a linear path what needs to happen, the chain sequence of events that must take place, just not all the details. I don't pre-plan details, that bores me in the writing process. Writing for me is an adventure; I discover new and exciting things, learn more about people's previous lives, and have fun along the way, so I only form skeleton plans and fill in the flesh and skin later. I usually write way too much, then trim way too much out of it (second draft), then go back in and add sensory details (cuz there aren't any, third draft), edit the hell out of it for sentence structure, coherence, etc (fourth draft?), and then it turns out the way I like it. This is my structured approach.

With other novels, I get an idea -- often a scene I am working toward, a twist at the end, or a big reveal, and start writing to make that scene happen. I also keep other books to a single narrator, which makes it way easier (I need four or five narrators for the Tudor books, so you are in the heart of the action scenes at all times, and not stuck on the sidelines with a character who sees no battle).

I've been writing novels since I was 12, so it's hard for me to remember the history of how the first one came to be (I just ... got an idea, opened a Word document, and started writing), but one of my first published novels was about Pontius Pilate's wife. I took an interest in him, became fascinated, did a ton of research, and was delighted to discover they know almost nothing about either one of them, so I could make 90% of it up, and went at it like gangbusters. That was fun. I'd do that again.

What were my struggles as a young writer? Too much. Before I learned to focus and structure plots, they were too long -- like, hundreds of thousands of words too long. One of the first books I wrote is 400,000 words, a true epic. They had too many characters. I have learned in the years since to combine, delete, and save good characters who add nothing for other books.

What are my struggles now? False starts. The bane of my existence. I usually find a book's stride five chapters in. That's where the characters have established themselves as important, the narrative is barreling forward, I know where I am going (my Ne supplies things to me and weaves plots without me really needing to think about the payoff to major twists) and how to get there, and there's no dead air, but it always takes me about a month of frustrated fumbling around to get to chapter five. I wind up rewriting the first four chapters about 15 times because I get into the plot, and find out -- I don't need this character, or damn, I needed that one and left them out. Rather than just bring them in now, I have to go back to the beginning and write them in, because my thinking is very linear. It can't go from A to C, I have to progress through B (the perks of being an sp/so? ;). So for about four weeks, I feel like I am making no progress, this book is never going to go anywhere, it's not working and then one day, when I find all the right characters and threads that I KNOW will pan out instead of dying on me ... it clicks and I'm off to the races.

Things I wished I'd known before doing it? Uh. How hard it is to write a GOOD book. Anyone can write a bad book. Most people can write a mediocre book. But few people can write a GOOD book. What's good is different for everyone, but for me it means a fast-moving narrative, compelling characters, and avoiding cliches. My advice to any young writer is to just get your ideas out on paper -- in a very rough first draft, and then spend months/years (depending on your type) reworking it, rethinking it, restructuring it, and rewriting it. Get feedback from actual beta readers (not your mom, she thinks you are fabulous) about what's confusing and what isn't working, and then rework it again. Study the semantics of writing -- grammar, sentence structure, etc., but do NOT worry about that until after you have a finished book in front of you. You can bog yourself down knowing too much at the start and trying to edit as you go. Editing comes later.

Just write. Train your brain to write at specific times, or through a habit that reminds your body, "Okay, now is time to focus." Some authors make themselves a cup of tea, others do stretches, others turn off all their electronic devices. I know when I sit down in my chair and turn on some classic music, it's time to focus.

Don't think it has to be perfect your first time through -- it won't be. It's gonna need cleaned up / edited no matter how good it is. And assuming you use Ne, don't be afraid to re-invent scenes to give them more interest and movement in later drafts. Sometimes a scene becomes far more interesting for a reader when a discussion takes place on an archery range or in the middle of a competition than seated at a dining table. Think creatively. Structure some scenes like you would a movie. Where are they? What are they doing? How does this story keep you 'visually' engaged?

I used to practice stuff like this by writing out a scene from a movie I loved, and forcing myself to find ways to write-visualize what I had seen on screen. What is the light doing through the window? Where is she standing and why? What actions did the actors use in-between dialogue? Look around you all the time. Notice things. You can either remember them or write them down. Charles Dickens used to keep a book of weird and interesting names that caught his attention, which later became characters in his books.

Lastly, think about two things when writing -- what story do *I* want to tell (it should entertain and excite you) and your audience. (If I name two characters starting with the same letter, is this going to confuse them since most people skim-read?? Can I really expect them to keep track of 12 characters as I flip back and forth?? ... no.)

Write at your own pace. Cut yourself some slack. And don't worry if you have to rewrite sections. It happens.

[awanderingtortoise]

no wait also. 🧑‍🏭 🍰🖊️ (just answer all those in this ask itself sorry I didn't read the entire ask prompt fbdndks)

ahahaa np ok letsgo 👩‍🏭 If one of your fics was going to get you arrested, which one and why? - its definitely that one where i decided 'no plot; only mcd' then wrote like 1k words of pure pain. even id arrest myself for that tbh (fic is here on the off chance you want to read it) if you want an honest answer as to why i wrote that; its probably because i feel putting characters in extreme situations allows me to get a better grip on them? When its something like literally DYING the exteriors are stripped and youre left with just their core so its easier to figure them out? at least i think so lol (the best part was it was my first fic so the idea of someone reading that fic then never reading anything else i ever wrote again is always in the back of my mind )

🍰 Name one of your fave comfort fics (doesn’t have to be your all time fave).

one???? ONE???? shame on question im doing at least 3 (these are all zoyalai lmao im sorry)

in no particular order:

the map of my heart by koiis dude this. this. its just brilliantly written and clever and so gentle and perfect and agghhhh its one of the first fics i read and is in my thoughts 24/7. the language flows so well and so prettily its like reading art

marvel and destruction at its finest by nabrizoya

soft zoyalai, as i always always say, is something this world lacks, but this fic exists so short and sweet, i love going back to it whenever i miss those two and want to feel all the fluffy feels again. i love the banter so much and the writing style is so so gorgeous. read. read it. right now.

if i loved you less/ i could talk about it more by hyperspecificplaylists Kaz being a matchmaker, all the best grishaverse couples getting together, kanej pining weaving underneath? everyone written in character even in a modern au? literally HILARIOUS lines everywhere? this is such a great fic, left me smiling the whole time. long and 2000% worth it

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP.

oh crap SLFJS ive literally run out of banter to post so- angst? less confident in that but seeing as i dont know what else to put here yall have to take it lol

" Nikolai’s eyes stray towards the city spread below them, rows of houses and darkened streets where his people lay sleeping. The sight is one that should be tranquil; but all he feels is the weight of the crown on his head, a responsibility to which others whisper he has no claim. The rumors are hardly new. He’s grown up hearing them, grown up blocking them out before learning to embrace them. If he is the bastard king, then so be it. He has told himself he cares not, that he isn’t so shallow as to let any of it dissuade him. And yet today there remains the smallest, most stubborn part of him that twists at the talk; whispers to him of his bold-faced lies. Fraud. Pretender. You have no right.

Zoya’s lips press into a thin line. “They are fools, Lantsov; if they believe bloodline is what makes a great king,” she says. His smile very nearly falters, because- well, she’s practically read his mind. He had been silent for no more than the space of a breath, but considering he is Nikolai Lantsov, lord of endless chatter, it must have been enough to tip his general off.

And what does? He very nearly asks. What does, and might you see it in me? "

[aclosetfan]

8

And Np

(ask game)

haha dude you’re like my new best friend now lmao thanks so much for being interested enough to ask about my dumb ideas!

Eight is titled “Artistic Aspirations” which isn’t a creative title at all. It’s another multi-chapter, no powers au, blues fic!! Personally, I think it's too safe and boring to write. The story spans a few years; I’ve shortened the outline to make it readable, but it still ended up being too long, sorry.

Background on the girls at the start of the story:

Bubbles is 21 and a broke, struggling artist finishing/right out of undergrad. Lives in Cityville. she’s on the verge of having to crawl home to her family with her tail between her legs

BC is 23 and finishing her physical therapy program in Townsville. Still lives with the Professor, but she practically lives full time at her boyfriend's place. She’s semi-neurotic about her relationship, not because it’s unstable, but b/c she thinks it’s too good to be true. Butch, for what it’s worth, doesn’t blink an eye—just a chill dude in this one. VERY into BC.

Blossom is 25 and starting her law career. Lives on the East Coast, working for a successful firm. Would like to move back home at one point, but she hasn’t really had the “right” reason to.

Plot (under the cut!)

It opens with Bubbles at a diner waiting for her sisters at their regular booth. Life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine like she had hoped. At the diner, Buttercup announces that she and her long-term boyfriend are finally engaged! Bubbles has met Butch plenty of time as well as Brick, Butch’s older brother, but she has yet to meet his youngest brother. In fact, Bubbles doesn’t even know his name. Butch just affectionately refers to him as “my dumbass little brother,” which Brick (a defense lawyer here in Townsville) wholeheartedly agrees with. Butch has also said “he’s into all that artsy stuff like you. Draws and shit.”

Until they finally meet at the wedding

He wasn’t there for the wedding rehearsal because his flight was delayed—he was somewhere “fancy” according to Butch b/c of some “art thing, idk, he’ll be here.” “He better be!” Cries HIM, who is one of Butch’s dads, but Bubbles doesn’t really know how exactly b/c everyone is adamant that HIM and Mojo (their other eccentric father) have never once been in a relationship

So when Bubs finally meets the brother she’s walking down the aisle with, she—a person who has an undergrad degree in art (haven’t decided what kind yet lol)—is like WAIT BOOMER JOJO THE BOOMER JOJO?!?! He’s like, “lol sup” and she loses her mind because Butch’s dumbass little brother doesn’t just “draw and shit,” he’s actually an art world prodigy, who despite being very young and very alive, is considered very renowned in major art circles.

(Not Banksy per se, but he’s like one of those Bad Boy artists that would make other artists roll their eyes) (also a man of many projects but doesn’t have the follow-through for a lot of them—which if he wasn’t so good at the stuff he actually finishes, would bite him in the ass; he’s flaky, gets bored easily).

Bubbles is amazed she hasn’t made the connection between the brothers and Boomer just laughs.

There’s, quite predictably, an instant connection between the blues. Butch, who cares for his sister-in-law, is like “Bubs don’t date my brother. He’s not mature enough to be dating anyone.” And Bubbles doesn’t listen!! Because she’s desperate for love and this could also mean she’s finally getting her big break!! Their relationship is really intense and Boomer does end up getting her a nice cushy job at some indie gaming company that he’s dipping his toes in. But just a quick as the flame is lit, it goes out. Boomer gets bored, Bubbles’ art isn’t being taken seriously, and she ends up getting fired for creative differences. Fired and despondent, she gets her break-up text from Boomer the next day. The day after that, he’s dating a model.

Absolutely crushed, Bubbles packs up her bags, leaves his apartment, and moves back in with the Professor. Butch and Buttercup (and Brick—but he’s at work) are ready to kick ass. Bubbles though would rather forget about it and holes up in her childhood bedroom. Eventually, BC gets her out of the room, brings her to Butch and her’s home, and is like “listen I know you’re heartbroken, but ima need you to do something for me—“ and Bubbles is like omg srsly?? Right now?? And BC is like “I need a mural on that wall, something cutesy, ya kno a stork or something?” And Bubbles is about to snap but then, she's like WAIT A STORK!!! And a new baby on the way really brings Bubbles out of her stupor—it gets her painting again. (Bubbles is full of love and you can’t tell me she doesn’t love babies)

So the mural is a hit at the baby shower and Robin (longtime best friend, also pregnant), is like Bubbles please paint me one, and her partner Princess is like MONEY IS NO OBJECT IF ROBIN WANTS IT SHE GETS IT. And then, subsequently, Robin’s (and Princess’s) mural takes off in the rich, white lady community, and soon enough Bubbles is being commissioned for more than just Baby Murals. Princess goes around bragging that she was the one who “discovered her,” and becomes Bubbles' “business agent.”

Basically, Bubbles is on the rise. As opposed to Boomer, who is on the fall. He’s hit an art block. It’s really bad. His melancholy is really bad. Very much plays the “woe is me" card. Hasn’t been back to Townsville in a while, so when his nephew (who he’s met briefly over facetime lol) turns one, he decides to fly in for his birthday.

Plans to mope and bum off his brothers for a bit, but is shocked to see Bubbles, who he then realizes he shouldn’t be so shocked to see. Has a ream “this was a mistake, she’ll make scene” moment, but Bubbles greets him as if nothing between them had ever happened (LIKE A QUEEN). Boomer takes this personally. Then Boomer meets Princess, who gloats about Bubbles, and then, looks at the award-winning boy and goes, “so anyway, who are you again?”

This pisses Boomer off even more and then, over the course of the week he stays with the greens, this anger builds up. He eventually takes it out on Bubbles, like, “you wouldn’t be who you are without me.”

[cue that one blinking gif] Bubbles goes off. Boomer storms off. Romance is in the air.

Jk

[well I guess the reds are hitting it off, but that’s c-plot and who cares]

Princess isn’t privy to this growing resentment and only sees an Opportunity™. She reaches out to Boomer’s agent. Then, she reaches out to a museum, and is like “I’ve got the most BITCHING exhibit for you.” Then, she tells Bubbles about the gig she booked for her.

Bubbles and Boomer are like no way am I doing a collab with them. Boomer’s agent is like “chief ima be real with you, it’s this or nothing.” Princess looks at Bubbles and tells her to suck it up. So, they end up working together, which means Boomer is back in Townsville.

Cue lovers to enemies to friends back to lovers speedrun. Hello yes.

Because they’re forced to collaborate, because Bubbles is more confident, and because Boomer has been knocked down a peg or two, they actually (finally) get to know each other on a personal level. And being closer to family helps Boomer, in some ways, mature. It’s a whole connecting back to your roots “ive grown and im better now” character development for Boomer.

Ends ambiguous ;) but it's happy.