#worst part of college is I can’t just say whales are cool and get an a

[the-worms-in-your-bones]

Can’t it just be enough to say whales are cool, do I really need to discuss the broader impacts of this research

[lovemesomesurveys]

Have you ever known anyone who was homeless? Yes.

Do you watch movies with the subtitles on?   Usually. I always do if I’m watching something on Netflix cause I just keep that setting on. I’m not hard of hearing, but I feel like I just...absorb it more? *shrug* I don’t know. Sometimes I’ll misunderstand what is said or miss it entirely, but subtitles keep that from happening. Plus, when watching certain things for whatever reason certain parts are quieter even with the volume turned up. 

Did you have a treehouse when you were younger? Nope.

Would you rather watch them or play them?   Uh, I’m going to assume you’re talking about sports, in which case neither.

If you were a journalist, what types of stories would you want to cover? Entertainment news. I actually took an entertainment journalism course in college. It was my last semester and I just needed a few more units (the courses for my major were all done) and that was one of courses I took. 

Do you think American Idol is rigged? I’ve heard that, but *shrug*

Have you ever participated in any type of medical study? No.

Have you ever taken a road trip with no destination in mind? I wouldn’t say a “road trip,” but I’ve gone on aimless drives before. <<<<

Do you give good directions? Nooo. I’m the worst, don’t ask me.

What do you think of when I say the word ‘lumberjack’? Plaid and axes lol.

Have you ever lied about your weight? Why? No. I’ve had no reason to.

Do you know how to do the Macarena? Yeah.

Have you ever tripped over one of your pets?   No.

Have you ever been stuffed into your locker? No, but that’s something I thought happened all the time cause of teen movies I saw growing up. 

Can you make another person blush easily? Uhh. I don’t think so? I don’t try to. I’m not a flirtatious person.

What would you change about the way your parents raised you? Nothing. I have the best parents, I can’t blame them for the mess I turned out to be. That’s 100% all on me. 

Do you have to look perfect before you go out to the store? Ha, no. I stopped caring years ago. I used to care about what I wore and attempted to look decent with makeup and do my hair, but I don’t have the motivation or energy for that anymore.

What is your state’s motto? So, I had to look it up and apparently California’s is, “Eureka.” Ah, upon further research it makes sense. We’re the golden state cause of the gold rush and “eureka”, which means, “I’ve found it”, was a common phrase used when someone found gold.

Are there any holidays that you feel are completely pointless? Yeah.

Have you ever gone to work with one or both of your parents? Yeah. My mom worked at Borders years ago and I used go with her sometimes. My dad worked in the mall growing up and I went with him a lot, especially as a teenager.

What is the funnest sport that you got to play in P.E. class? I didn’t enjoy any of them.

Have you mastered the plastic guitar yet (Rock Band, Guitar Hero)? I rock out hard on easy mode. haha. I haven’t played in yearsss, but I’ve actually been really wanting to.

What is one cause you know you’ll ALWAYS support? Ones like ASPCA.

What animals creep you out? ALL bugs/insects and reptiles. Also, a lot of sea life. I have an irrational fear of killer whales.

Have you ever done a walk/run for a charity or similar cause? No.

Do you like the smell of gasoline?   I actually do.

When was the last time you had a piggyback ride? Not since I was a kid.

Have you ever owned or used a telescope? Only the kind for science classes.

Do you have to see or witness certain phenomenons to believe them? Certain things.

Do you know/remember what Shrinky-Dinks are? Whoa, yeah. There’s a memory I forgot I had. I loved doing those as a kid.

Do you talk to store clerks like you know them? No. I’m not the chatty customer. I don’t say anything unless they do, which is usually just them asking me if I’ve found what I needed and/or how I’m doing. 

In your town, are a lot of stores closed on Sundays? No, but a lot close early.

Do you dislike song remixes? Not always. There’s a lot I do like.

When was the last time you hula-hooped? Never.

Have you ever played Magic: The Gathering? No.

What are your thoughts on role playing games? Never had an interest in them. Do you get an adrenaline rush just from watching videos of roller coasters? I probably would if I actually watched videos like that. I’m sure I’d feel anxious just watching.

Do you like watching shows that deal with forensics? Yeah.

Do you want to have a bachelor/bachelorette party before you get married? I don’t even plan on getting married. I just don’t see it ever happening.

Ever been texted by mistake and played along & acted like you knew them? No. I wouldn’t even respond.

Would you ever get a name tattooed on you?   I would maybe do something that reminds me of a loved one (I’m referring to family, like my mom) rather than their name. I don’t see myself getting a tattoo at all, though.

If you could have unnatural colored eyes, what color(s) would you choose? Hmm. Rose gold would be cool.

Do you always remember your dreams?   No, I rarely do. I typically forget them soon after I wake up.

Who is your favorite late night talk show host? I don’t watch any anymore, but I used to watch Conan and Jay Leno back in the day. I was there for the big Tonight Show drama of 2010.

Do your parents dress like they’re years younger? Does it gross you out? No. 

Do you know who Seth MacFarlane is?   Yeah.

Do you try on clothes in dressing rooms and take pictures? No, I never try on clothes at the store.

What is a band you can’t stop listening to right now? There isn’t one in particular, currently.

[thejollyroger-writer]

For the tropes: Can I have a combination of 41 and 47, as in one hears the other confessing they've been in love with them for years (extra super bonus if it's Emma overhearing Killian).

Love, Baseball, and Other Things

This is the first half of a two-shot that came to mind paired with a request from @welllpthisishappening, which will be following this up… soon. (Also, Saira, notice that I decided not to include a Cubs slur with this one, specifically for you.) 

Unbetaed, because I’m a big mess

Part One:

Emma Swan was very good at her job. No one in the entire Philadelphia Police Department would argue with that — in fact, many of them even call her up when they need her to work her magic in the less-legal senses of investigation, even more so now that her brother is the captain of one of the precincts.

She’s good at tracking people down, good at learning all the dark secrets in their past. She’s good at marathoning television shows on the weekend, a good soccer player, can swing a bat pretty well (she might even fill in for David on the precinct’s softball team), good at Mario Kart, and even pretty decent at air hockey.

What she’s not good at is relationships. She’s really only been with one, with her son’s father since her first year of college, but the moment Neal heard she was pregnant, she hasn’t heard a word from him. Though she’s not as surprised anymore as she was when it happened.

But that’s another thing she’s good at: being a mother. And she would do anything to make her son happy, has lived by that for the past ten years of his life.

Which is how she ends up here as often as possible, sitting along the third base line at Citizen’s Bank Park as the sun disappears over the side of the stadium, though it doesn’t fail to blind her. Because if there’s one thing Henry loves more than anything, it’s baseball.

And if there’s one thing Emma loves more than anything, it’s Killian Jones, startoff pitcher for the Phillies, and her brother’s best friend. Though nobody in the world knows that — and she plans to keep it that way.

–/– 

Killian Jones is very good at his job. No one in the entire greater Philadelphia area would argue with that — it’s part of why they pay him so damn much. He loves the game, loves his teammates, and, perhaps the best part, he loves the city of Philadelphia and all it holds for him.

He’s got a beautiful curveball, an impressive fast, and one of the most raved-about sliders in the entire league. He runs one of the fastest miles in the game, still has time to play pick-up soccer with his old college buddies, and is learning how to play Mario Kart during his weekend at David’s house with his found family.

What he’s not good at is relationships. He’s only really been in one, during college, but since she was killed in a car accident, he hasn’t ever attempted another. He’s too broken from the loss of her to hope to give a part of his heart away again, if only for the worry that they would be taken from him the way Milah was. 

Or, that’s what he thought.

She always told him to follow his dreams, so even though he went to school for writing and journalism, he went back to the first love of his life, the thing that brought happiness in his childhood that was pretty devoid of it in other places: baseball.

What he never expected was to fall in love with his best friend’s sister along the way — though as it stands, he doesn’t plan on telling anyone in the near future.

Or, that’s what he thought.

It certainly wasn’t the best game of his career. It was still early in the season, the cool April air doing more to calm his nerves than the sweltering heat he lives with for most of the season, but that apparently meant nothing for his statistics. He allowed more runs than the past two games combined, including three inside-the-park home runs that were certainly going to plummet his numbers.

But when ruby Lucas, Philly’s MLB-affiliated journalist, finds him after the game to ask him what the hell went wrong, he certainly does not tell her about the blonde sitting behind the third-base dugout who stole his attention far before the game even started. He was absolutely not going to tell Emma’s best friend that he was completely and totally enamored by her mere presence in the stadium, not to mention that he’s absolutely in love with her.

(Though when Ruby’s eyes raise to the seats behind him, where he knows she and her son are still sitting, he has a feeling she might already know, though it’s a feeling he decides to push to the back of his mind and not focus on, especially not during an interview with MLB network.)

He finishes his interview with her, blaming nerves and the talent of the team for his slip-ups — the Cubs might not be the best team right now, but they certainly aren’t the worst. They’re pretty far from it, actually.

When he turns around after the interview, though, Emma and Henry are gone, having finished their customary helmets full of soft serve. He feels a pang in his heart — usually they wait for him to finish and he lets Henry run around the bases to exert some of the energy gained from his sugar consumption. But that does not seem to be the case today, and, trying his best to suppress the frown that he knows took over his face, he turns back to his team, only to find Robin, his best friend and second-baseman barreling towards him.

“Oi, Jones, what the hell happened out there?”

“Come on, Locksley,” Killian tries, pulling his best smile to his face. “A man’s not allowed to just have a shit day?”

“Not when that man was on the path to being the best pitcher in the entire fucking league.”

Okay, he thinks. Robin has a point.

“I guess I’m just nervous about my brother flying over to visit me.” It’s not a lie — far from it, actually. His brother is coming to visit him, their schedules allowing it for the first time in a few years — he could just have to travel to a few different cities while he’s visiting, but a British Naval Captain can afford to do that.

Robin’s gruff expression fades as he reaches to clap him on the shoulder. I guess we can choose to forgive you this time around, but you’re on thin ice.”

“Damn right he is,” Victor Whale, the first-base coach says, punching Killian’s arm as they start to head towards the locker room.

“Thin fucking ice,” Will Scarlett, right field, yells from behind him.

The berating continues through the locker room, his whole team taunting him (and each other, to be fair) about their 6-2 loss. But after the rest of the team leaves, talking about getting a pint somewhere, Killian turns down their offer, giving the excuse of needing to straighten his house before his brother’s flight lands in the morning.

(Though, the few of them that have been to Killian’s Old City apartment know just how meticulous he is, the face that he can’t stand when anything is not where it belongs, even with his grueling game and travel schedule. It’s a downright lie, and the look in Robin’s eye tells Killian that he’s sure of it.)

Which, he’s assuming, is why he sticks around when everyone else leaves, leaving only him and Killian in the room.

“When are you going to ask her out, mate?” Robin says, sitting down on the bench in the middle of the room.

“Rob, I can’t. I don’t have the time for a relationship, especially for a woman with a son.”

“You’re completely head-over-heels in love with her, Killian.”

“I definitely am not,” he retorts, but Robin has no time for him, practically yelling back in his face.

“Admit it, Jones, you’re absolutely in love with Emma Swan.”

Hanging his head in defeat, he scrubs his face with his hand, hitching his bag back up on the other shoulder.

“Fine, fine, yes, okay? I’ll admit it. Happy?”

The smile that covers Robin’s face is all the answer he needs.

—/—

How Henry convinced Emma to buy him another hot dog when all he’s done since they got to the stadium is eat, Emma may never know. The man working behind the counter wasn’t too happy about it, either, but the smile covering Henry’s face makes up for it.

She still wants to find Killian, hoping that he lets Henry run around the bases to let off some of the pent-off energy even though she’s sure that he’s already on his way out of the stadium. Hopefully he won’t care, will still let her boy do a lap, and when she turns the corner towards the exit from the locker room, smiling at Leroy, the security guard, and sees most of the team leaving the room, she almost turns around.

But she doesn’t see Killian in the crowd, would recognize his dark hair and his gait in any crowd, so she heads towards the room, passing Will Scarlett who is at the end of the line of baseball players.

“He’s inside still, love,” Will says, smiling at her when she does not need to ask the question on the tip of her tongue.

She returns the smile and heads towards the door to the locker room, which she starts to push open.

But what she hears stops her in her tracks, the door barely cracked open.

“Admit it, Jones, you’re absolutely in love with Emma Swan.”

She recognizes the voice: Robin, Killian’s best friend. She feels her heart fall on the floor in front of her (okay, maybe not), and her breath stops in her throat, especially when she hears Killian’s response.

“Fine, fine, yes, okay? I’ll admit it. Happy?”

Hoping they’re not right behind the door, she turns on her heel and reaches out to grab Henry’s hand, rushing back down the hallway as fast as she can.

“Mom, but I thought —” Henry tries, but when Emma turns to him, the words stop falling from his mouth.

“I have something to do at home that I forgot about,” she says quickly, pulling him along the corridor and turning the corner as she hears the locker room door close behind her.

[every1studio]

“the pain of letting go” [day6: young k / brian]

genre: drama + fluff + ANGST 

ficstyle: bulletpoints + long

prompt: “a nice college angst with younghyun” / mentions of health endangerment / inspired by Day6′s “Still”

GIF originated from: @kqngyounghyun

you were running late for class

this was the first day of your first year of college, you really had no intentions of being late

“If only it wasn’t for that noisy bass-strumming neighbor..” you huffed up the steep hill leading up to college campus 

you’ve never met your neighbor before, all you knew was that he was a college student, he plays the bass and guitar, and your mom likes his rose bush in front of his house

it didn’t even help that it was raining that day; you looked like a hunchback whale as you were using your jacket as some sort of cover

you looked up and saw a guy with an instrument case slung around his back carrying an umbrella in front of you

you both don’t say a word but for some reason.. the both of you had the urge to look back at each other

you weren’t expecting him to look back at you 

and neither was he

(he’s really good looking) you thought 

but you were running late and you were turning around to get to school

“Wait..” his voice makes you stop immediately

he takes your hand and wraps it around the handle of the umbrella, “You’ll get sick..” 

it was at that moment, the cupid struck your heart and he trotted away

(Who was that guy?)

you barely made it to class on time when you were approached by some kids in different classes

“Why do you have Brian sunbaenim’s umbrella?”

you looked confused as you looked at them then at the umbrella

“Wait what?”

they pointed to the keychain hanging at the bottom of the handle; it was a gold “YK” keychain with a Canadian flag on the back

“That’s Brian sunbaenim’s custom keychain..” they sounded like angry fangirls than anything else

“Hey hey hey, he just gave me his umbrella because it was raining out.. I don’t even know him..”

thank God the bell saved yourself from the wrath of the fangirls

you planned to meet him tomorrow around the same time so that you can hand it back to him

you don’t want no part in any of this “idolizing upperclassmen”

when school ended you dashed out of class to prevent further harassment

you only had one class that day so you went to a cafe with a pergola right outside of it; just to have some “me” time

you ordered a hot hazelnut cream coffee

across from pergola was the ocean; it was the only nice thing your city had to offer

“The ocean is the only nice thing about this city, huh..” it was like someone read your mind

you turned around to see that guy who gave you the umbrella that morning

“Oh.. Uh... I have your umbrella..” you fumbled around to find it, causing you to spill your drink on his notebook

“OH GEEZUS I’M SO SORRY!” you tried to clean everything around you

(they’re a mess... but a cute one..) the guy thought to himself as he helped you

“It’s okay, I got that waterproof notebook..”

“They have those?” somehow there was a conversation flowing between the two of you

“Yeah... I’m Brian.. or Young K.. which ever you prefer..” he gave you his hand to shake

“I’m Y/n... I kinda know about you.. you’re like popular or something like that..” you sat back down after cleaning up the area around you

“Really now?” Brian sit up and leans in closer to you

flustered, you sat back a little as you continued, “Yeah some of your fangirls or something like that noticed that umbrella you lent out to me.. talk about crazy right?”

“Tell me about it..” you both chuckle

“Lemme buy you another coffee, since you spilled yours” he offered

“It’s fine!”

“Nope! I’m getting it for you!” 

you chased him into the cafe as he cornered you between the him and the ordering counter

“Excuse me, do you remember her order?” Brian asked the barista

“I believed she ordered a hazelnut cream coffee..”

“Can I get that in a medium please?” Brian smiled as he swiped his card

you were pouting at him; sulking

he hands you the coffee, “My treat, okay?”

you snatched it from him

“Why are you being nice to a stranger like me?”

should he tell you the truth?

how he was basically your childhood friend and he had to move after the 2nd grade?

how he promised you that he’d play music for you?

how all the songs he’s written for are for you?

how he promised that he’ll marry you when you both are old enough?

how he begged your mom to not tell you about his real identity?

(Baby steps, Younghyun.. baby steps...) he chanted to himself

“I’m your neighbor. Us neighbors should be nice to each other aye?”

you widened your eyes at him, “Because of you, I was almost late to class today! You always play your bass or guitars at such bad times! I’m trying to sleep in peace here! “Nice,” MY ASS!”

Brian blinks for a bit and then starts to laugh

“HAHA I’m.. so.. HAHAHA.. sorry!” he wipes the tears forming around his eyes

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise..”

you crossed your arms at him, “How?”

he opens the door for you, “Lemme walk you home first, it’s getting dark..”

you and Brian had conversations about the randomest things; it was like you were talking to an old friend

sometimes you’d catch him just smiling at you

“What?” you’d snap

“Nothing..” Brian would look away after every time you snapped at him 

when he walks you up to your place, he tucks your hair behind your ear, “Open your window at 8 PM okay?”

you nodded and he waited for you to enter the house before walking to his

8 PM was 30 minutes away and you just sat at your desk doing homework

being the impatient person that you were, you went to your window sofa and sat there as the cool rain-scented breeze flood into your room as you waited for Brian

when was the last time you waited for a guy like this?

back in high school, you were dating the biggest sweetheart of the school when you received a letter from your childhood friend, Younghyun.. saying that he didn’t have a lot of time left and that he was sorry 

you wrote a letter back, worried; you wanted to at least see him one more time

to you, he was someone no one could replaced

if you had the chance, you would choose to be with him for the rest of your life 

but he never responded and you believed in the worst

when Brian opened his window, he was surprised that you were already waiting for him

“Impatient?”

“You guessed it.”

(I guess some things never change) Brian smiled at the old memories running through his mind 

he tuned his guitar before clearing his throat; he looks up at you before singing

Someday The dark clouds will pass Someday I hope that There'll be a day when We'll brightly smile again Now on that sidewalk Will be us who'll Walk under sunshine That shines warmly It's shadowy and dim Like that Day isn't beautiful anymore

he continued the song and when he finished, you didn’t even know that you were mesmerized by his voice and how well it complimented the guitar

that moment was when you fell for him, you fell for Brian 

everyday after that, he walked you to your classes and waited for him for his classes to end

Brian would teach you how to play the guitar 

you would teach him how to cook 

each day was like an episode of a rom-com anime 

it was safe to say that no one intervened in your guys’ relationship because you guys were too cute together

everyone thought that you guys were dating but in reality, the both of you were too scared of two different reasons

you were scared of commitment; being scared that once you guys are together, it won’t be the same

but he was scared of telling you the truth; of who he was and why he kept it from you 

every single day, Brian was eaten up by guilt

he wanted to surprise you when he came back from Canada but the sight of you with someone else hurt him so much 

he decided that he was not meant to be part of your life anymore 

so he pushed you away with all of his heart 

hoping that you’ll continue to be happy

but now that you were with him, he didn’t know what to do

you were both walking him from classes when he held you back

“Hey Y/n.. can we meet under the pergola tonight? At 8 PM?” you could sense the mixed feelings in his voice

(Is this it? Is he finally going to ask me out?) you smiled widely and nodded at him

Brian shows a soft smile as he pulls you in for a tight hug

“What’s with you Brian?” you muffled in his jacket

“Nothing, let’s go home...” he smiled as he softly tightens his grip on your hand 

you decided to spruce up a little bit; picking out which clothes he liked most on you, fixing your hair and putting on a little bit of makeup

you only carried a light jacket, hoping to steal from his 

your mom stopped you before you left the house, “Where are you going, it’s late..”

“I’m going out with Brian”

“Oh.. be careful okay...” she smiled but it was a worried smile

what could she be worried about?

Brian knew that if he wanted to be early, he’d have to be an hour early so he was freezing outside the pergola waiting for you, looking out into the dark ocean; since you are impatient 

“Hey Brian~” you popped up from behind him

“Hey..”

“So what did you want to tell me?” you batted your innocent doll eyes at him and he couldn’t hold it any longer

he handed you the letter you wrote him back when he told you he didn’t have much time left 

“How did you get...” you looked at the letter and back at him, “Younghyunnie?” tears filled up your eyes, you could barely see out of them

you threw the letter at him

you started throwing punches at him

“You lied to me.. how could you.. HOW COULD YOU!”

the overwhelming feeling inside made you forget about the cold 

“You were happy.. I didn’t want to be a part of your life if you were already happy...” the cold made his nose run and his voice raspy 

“You couldn’t have known what I wanted... I missed you...” your rough sleeves were scratching at your sleeves

“This isn’t what I wanted...” you whispered through your tears, you can’t forgive him like this

you spent your life wondering if he was in a better place when he was right next to you the whole time

“You lied to me...”

at that moment, rain started to pour again 

Brian couldn’t lift up his head to look at you

there was only one way to move on from this

“I hope you find someone who makes you happy..” he took off his jacket, hissed at the icy cold air piercing into his skin, and placed it over your shoulders, “You’ll get sick..”

as he walked away you asked him, “All this time.. you never thought of us together?” 

he looked up into the sky as pellets of rain fell onto him before looking at you, “Only as a friend”

it took him all the courage in the world to say that to you

he loved you

he loves you

more than a friend

that boy wanted to spend the rest of his life with you 

he wanted to be there when you laughed

when you cried

when you grew old and frail 

but he shattered all of that just by taking things into his own hands 

“Get home safe, Y/n..”

since you were reunited with him again, he always walked you home but tonight was the first time he’s breaking his routine

he left you in the pergola with his jacket as he ran home 

the cold rain washes away his tears streaming down his face

Brian scream at the top of his lungs at the other end of the road by the ocean

and you did the same 

when you two were a little, it was a way to relieve stress, anger, and sadness

to this day, you guys still kept each other’s habits without even realizing it 

you still kept his keychain from his umbrella, you wanted to throw it into the ocean, where it would sink and be forgotten

but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it 

you guys were truly meant for each other

if only the timing was right

but time moves on

and in time, you’ll both know how to move on

and learn how to let go 

[masterlist + guidelines]

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #203

I’m not dead, World of Warcraft just devoured my life again.

Have you ever been inside of an abandoned building? Yes; a shack first, but we picked up the courage to just barely set foot into this small building absolutely littered with newspapers and such. Almost went into the main house, but my sister, friend, and I were too intimidated by the idea. I didn't want to imagine what could be in there; already anxious by that age, I worried about feral animals or homeless being in there. Have you ever actually believed in monsters? (Like as a kid) Yes, I think. Do you have any fascination with the macabre? Examples? Oh boy, do you know me? I find most gore cool, I love bone art/vulture culture sort of stuff, I find death and decay fascinating, then there's the roadkill photography I do (done in only great respect/to show the horror of what we can cause), dark and especially gory artwork... I could go on for a while. Do you actually think skeletons are scary? I LOVE skeletons, add that to the above list. I was always excited in school if our science class had a replica in it. What monster movie is your favorite? This is broad... You mean like, actual monsters? Not like Freddy Krueger, per se, and focused on them? Hell I dunno, maybe Monsters Inc., lol. Is Hocus Pocus really a good movie, or a bit overrated? We cannot associate if you so much as dislike Hocus Pocus. What witch-themed movie/show is your favorite, anyhow? See above. Do you like The Nightmare Before Christmas? Hell yeah. Ha, pretty funny though: I'm not obsessed with the movie or anything, yet people give me sooooooo much Jack Skellington stuff for my birthday and/or Christmas. I do love Jack, totally, but you'd assume I was more in love with the character than I actually am. Do you count it as a Halloween movie and a Christmas movie? Halloween, for me. Do you like Jack or Sally better? Jack. What other Tim Burton works do you enjoy, if any? Corpse Bride and Alice in Wonderland are my absolute favorites, then there's Frankenweenie, Beetlejuice, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach (literally my lil sis's and my childhoods), and probably more. I just love him. Are there any ‘dark’ or ‘spooky’ films you recommend? Absolutely the original Blair Witch Project. Spoiler, you never see the "witch," and that just made it so much spookier, particularly when there's a scene that seems to have a high chance of her showing up on the camera. It's very convincing in selling it as "based on a true story;" the characters act realistic in the situations they're in and are very dedicated to acting well. It's my personal definition of a "good" horror movie. If anything, shit, watch it for the ending. Creepiest goddamn thing. Just for fun – what would your personal hell look like? Yeesh, let's not visualize that... On Supernatural, do you like the angels or demons better? I am way, WAY behind, but from very faint memories, I believe the demons. Have you ever purchased anything from an occult or New Age shop? What? No. Do you know any Pagans/Wiccans? I believe one of my old friends is Wiccan? Do you know any Satanists? I don't believe so. Would you ever keep a tarantula as a pet? Nah. Are there any urban legends in your area? What are they? Looked it up and apparently NC does have some, but idk about *my* area. Do you find dead trees beautiful? Some, like really big ones. Who was the last person you sat next to? Mom. Are you embarrassed to let others see you without makeup? No. Have you ever had a nickname at your church? If so, what? Don't believe so, when I grew up going to church. What was the last stuffed animal you bought? Not sure. Maple trees, fir trees, or palm trees? Maple. Which biblical name do you prefer: Naomi, Esther, Rachel, or Joanna? Naomi, easily. I used to want to name my hypothetical daughter that. Which biblical guys name do you prefer: Seth, Jedidiah, Ezra, or Buz? Seth. Who is the hardest working person you know? MY. MOTHER. She works her fucking ASS off; I'd like to see most people handle even a single day in her life. Can you name any songs by Godsmack? A few: "No Rest For The Wicked," "Whatever," "Mama," "Voodoo," "Voodoo Too," "Hollow," "Time Bomb," "The Enemy," and... that may be it? What has been the most exciting moment of your life thus far? Meeting Sara. How deeply do you care for your education? Is it something you take seriously? I don't really know how to answer this. Like... I care, but I don't care enough to be competitive about it or obsess over it. I target for just being "enough." Would you prefer to go to a beach or to a park for a day, and why? What would you do? Park. The beach is too hot, windy, and I hate the feel of sand. Idk what I'd do at the park considering there are various kinds... What are five things you own in your favorite color? Tank top, iPod, uh... I'm blanking. Is your favorite clothing store close to your house or do you have to travel far? The nearest one is like an hour away. In real life do you laugh like ‘haha,’ ‘hehe’ or something else? The former. Do you have any unusual skills? No. Do you have any bug bites right now? No. Do you like to look at other peoples’ houses? Sure, when riding by them. What’s the weirdest compliment you’ve ever received? Good question. Maybe my toes are cute? (They're fucking tiny.) Would you say you’re more witty or childish about jokes? Witty, I guess. What do you think about video games? One of the greatest technological achievements. Video games brought forth a new form of entertainment to enjoy, one that can hold someone's focus for hours and stay fun. They can also tell fantastic stories, just like reading a book or watching TV, and the more and more realistic in vision games are becoming, it just becomes easier with every game to feel more immersed in the universe. What would you, or do you, study at college? I'm going for zoology. Have you ever had, or wanted, a pet ferret? Oh my god in Heaven, yes. They are so damn cute; when Sara was here and we were in PetSmart for something, I actually started tearing up and squealing because of how GODDAMN PRECIOUS THEY WERE, like they all came up to the glass pawing at us, and watching them play was one of the cutest things I've ever seen. The only thing holding me back from getting one is the fact I know they are veeery messy and require a lot of care. Is there anything you find undeserving of the hype it received? Eh, don't feel like thinking about this. In other words, idk and idc. Do you think it’s better to label yourself than be labelled? Who cares, honestly. Don't restrain yourself with a label, and what others see in you and you following along with it solely because of that is naive. What’s something you do a lot? Over-evaluate anything and everything, because my OCD has been an absolute beast for the longest time. Are you currently on any other websites? Twitch and deviantART are open. Have you ever been told you naturally tilt your head a certain way? YES. I have done this since like... late middle school or earlier when the hair to the right of my part covered my eye. My mom points it out all the time, and no matter how many times I've tried to unlearn it, I can't do it. My head physically feels weird if I straighten it. When was the last time you laughed at someone? Some time earlier when I was watching Mark play GTA. Do you have any projects on the go right now? I started a massive YouTubers video with "High Hopes" over a month ago, and now I haven't touched it since the day I started lmao. Do you, or did you, really look forward to when you can finally move away? Eh... yes and no. I really question my ability to be that independent. What’s the worst tattoo you’ve ever seen? Who knows. What’s your favorite name ever? Alessandra. Are you a hat person? No. Have you ever forgotten how to do something simple? Ha, yeah. Have you ever been hit on by somebody way too old for you? Possibly an old family friend; he had this thing for being REALLY flirtatious with my older sister, and then me sometimes as I got older. We were never alone with him or anything, I mean he did it right in front of our mother and dad (he fucking loathed him because of it, probably still does), so we think he was joking? Have you ever climbed a chain-link fence? Yes. Have you ever had to run from the cops? No. Do you know anyone who is constantly humming? No? Are you afraid of any specific animals? I mean the usual insects and spiders, then there's the few more unusual ones such as SLUGS, MAGGOTS, larvae in general really, whale sharks, worms... probably others that aren't coming to me. Did anything comical happen to you today? No. Are you any good at fussball? Not especially. Who do you usually dream about? Jason is most often in the ones I actually remember. Yay. It made sense when I wasn't even beginning to heal, but now that I am and I STILL have them despite having fully and entirely moved on, I finally just asked my mother if it was normal, which apparently it is extremely common with even "recovered" PTSD victims. Shoulda asked/looked it up way sooner... Do you visit your dentist as often as you should? Yeah, thanks to Mom. She always ensures I stay updated with medical exams/appointments. I'm lucky as hell to have her here to keep my life straight. Do you still have a teddy bear? Maybe in the bags in the attic? Did you get any Girl Scout cookies this year? No. They don't come here. What’s your favorite fairytale? Bitch Shrek don't even @ me it's a fucking fairytale. Do you apologize when you know you should? Usually. In most cases, I feel overwhelming guilt otherwise. Do apologies really make anything better? Sometimes, to a degree. Can other people tell when you’re high? I've never been high. Do you own a birdcage? No. Have you ever planted anything? Yeah. Have you ever been blackmailed into doing anything? No. What eyeshadow color looks best on you? I only ever wear black. Can you tolerate small children? jfc no. In almost any situation. Even my niece and nephew, I can't be around them but for so long without getting burnt out or aggravated. What’s the stupidest behavior humans partake in? Holy sweet mother of The Lord God Almighty- Have you ever seriously considered suicide? Yeah. Did you ever hit anything while learning to drive? I like... immediately hit a curb lmao, and I STILL can't turn past them without the risk of running over it. It's one of the things that's holding me back from getting my license yet. Which movie’s musical score is truly memorable? UM, The Lion King??????? Hurry the FUCK up July. Which TV show theme music do you remember most? That '70s Show. Have you ever bounced any checks? I've never even used a check... How many speeding tickets have you been given? None. Not that I drive a lot. First kiss: quick, sloppy, and forgettable or passionate and memorable? It was fucking adorable and definitely memorable. I don't care how I feel about him now, that's a little event I'll always remember and cherish. Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, Ron White, or Larry the Cable Guy? OH GOD what was that stand-up show with just them? I LOVED that back as a teen. I don't know who I liked most, but probably Jeff or Bill. I do know Ron was my least favorite, but he wasn't bad. How many bills do you pay online? I'm a 23-year-old "adult" who doesn't have bills. What’s the highest score you ever bowled? Hell if I remember. Nothing impressive. What’s your definition of a good, full breakfast? The "perfect" picture is like pancakes, scrambled cheesy eggs, and bacon. Whats your favorite flavor of jam? Of what I've tried, I only like grape. Are you a fast runner? I can't even TELL you the last time this bitch ran. At school was is/was the main reason you get/got in trouble? It was never severe trouble, just a quick word, but Jason because we'd always hug and usually just exchange a peck in-between going to classes; both were no-nos in our shit school, and the hall monitors or whatever would tell us not to if they saw, buuut we didn't listen. Hell, I think maybe hand-holding was against the rules too, which I know we didn't abide by if that was present. Do you make your views heard or do you hide in the background? It depends. I'd say heard more often, maybe? Do you have many friends from foreign countries? No. Can you open your mouth very wide? No. You know those things at the dentist where you have to bite down straight onto them for an impression of your molars? If the dentist was considerate enough, I'd use the one for older children instead of adult because I canNOT fully bite down on the normal ones without it being incredibly painful and I gag like mad to the point I inevitably tear up. What was the reason for your last x-ray? My knees were being checked with all the horrible pain I'd been dealing with from them. Did you have a rebellious phase growing up? Not for the sake of being rebellious, no. I only had such streaks (and still do) when I saw/see them appropriate to the situation. What religion were you brought up with? Roman Catholic. What is the most common name where you live? I dunno. Elizabeth, maybe? Actually just looked it up for the hell of it and what I found first says William (which I can absolutely believe) and Ava (which I question?). When something really scares you, what’s your immediate reaction? Jump, gasp, and either dash or stare at whatever the source is like a deer in headlights. Does it bother you to be around people who are smoking? Yes. How much time do you spend on the phone a day? Not long at all. I check Instagram usually at least once, and I don't follow a lot at all. Sometimes I check Facebook on my phone, but I usually do on my laptop now. That doesn't take very long, either. Your favorite song lyrics right now: "What I do know is come Judgment Day, I followed love; can you say the same?" from "Natural Born Sinner" by In This Moment. Do you think it’s possible for a rap song to make you cry? Ever heard "Runaway Love" by Ludacris & Mary J. Blige? Bitch you bet it makes me wanna cry. Name three books that have actually made you cry [really cry not a few tears]: I don't think I've ever gone beyond just a few tears, really. The Notebook probably was the hardest on me, though. Or Old Yeller. Idr. Is it easy to annoy you? Maybe. Do you watch musicals? If so, which is your favorite? If not, why not? No, because they make me cringe into a new dimension. Do you wear short shorts & tanktops in the summer? You will never see me in shorts, and I wear tank tops like... always. Always to bed, at least. Does the idea of having a baby at your age scare you? Having a baby period does. No fucking thanks. Do you remember who your best friend was in fourth grade? Quiata. Maybe still Brianna, idr. What band has the power to make you cry by splitting up? None. Is there anywhere in your house that you’re scared to be alone in? No. Any embarrassing/childish shows you secretly still enjoy watching? No. I don't watch TV period, but what I do like, BELIEVE THIS SHIT OR NOT, I'm not embarrassed. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital for a long period of time? I think the longest I was ever supposed to stay somewhere was three months, but that didn't actually happen. The longest I've actually been in a hospital was two weeks, give or take. Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? I'm not straight so obviously not. Name three things in your room that others probably don’t have in theirs: An iguana, a snake, and a rat. In the same general area lmao. What’s something you can cook or bake like a pro? Nothing. If you could pull off any hairstyle, what would it look like? A pixie cut. The kind with the shaved sides. Besides furniture, what’s the biggest thing in your bedroom? Uhhh my snake's cage? Do you diet and exercise regularly? I do a 16-hour fast daily. What’s something that you think is really cute? Even though I don't want kids, I can't see men being really vibrant and cute with babies or toddlers without just alksdfjioawer Would you rather donate time, blood, or money? Hm. I feel like ultimately, money would be most beneficial in the majority of cases? Can grills be sexy on a guy? They are incredibly unattractive on anyone. Are braces cute? Not particularly, but they're not like, unattractive. Unlike grills, they serve an actual purpose and aren't as obnoxious. Which of your friends makes you laugh the hardest? Girt. What brings out the worst in you? Being extremely stressed. I'm seriously snappy and irritable. Would you rather go to Canada or Mexico on vacation? Canada, probably. If you have glasses, do you get days when you don’t feel like wearing them? I don't think about it because I don't have a choice if I want to see. Do you ever wear hats indoors? I don't wear them period. Have you ever played bingo at an actual bingo hall? No. Have you ever pledged money to a Kickstarter and it reached its goal? If so, did you get any fun extra stuff because you pledged a higher amount? No. What’s your favorite comic book/graphic novel? I don't have one. What’s something you can do without looking/with your eyes closed? Type. Is there a color combination that holds a significance to you? If so, what is the combination and what does it mean? No. What was the last thing you swore at? I don't know. If you use Facebook, do you ever look at the Memories page? Ugh no. Let's not remind myself of dark times or more specifically cringy ones. Do you have a drawer where you just throw some random stuff? No. What’s the funniest shirt that you own? I don't find any really funny. What is something you absolutely refuse to pay for? Ummm "fancy" clothing brands, to name one of the top contenders. Has a stray/runaway cat or a dog ever followed you home? If so, what did you do with it? Maybe a cat? I don't think so, though. Is there a stranger you expect to see every day? No. What is something you take pride in? My recovery. What is something you have a lot of experience in? I guess photography? What’s the biggest magnet on your fridge? I don't feel like going to check. Do you prefer things (movies, books, etc) that scare you or make you laugh? Entertainment media rarely actually scares me, but I prefer "scary" stuff. Were you born with naturally straight teeth? Well, I had to get braces, so I would assume not? Do you try not to take a lot of medicine or do you take it whenever? I avoid OTCs when I can; I'm on enough prescribed stuff. Do you prefer original or sour Skittles? Sour. Do you check to make sure your ear phones are going in the right ear? No. Are fireworks illegal to buy where you live? The big ones, yes. People still go to Myrtle Beach on the SC side to buy them tho. Can you talk and work at the same time? No. Do you care more about yourself or more about others? This really depends on what the situation is... and my state of mind at the time. But I think usually myself? It used to be others, but I learned how unhealthy that can be. Do you find it easy to pass the time or do you get really bored? I get bored excruciatingly easily. How often do you re-watch/re-read things or are you more ‘once only’? I'm typically an "only once" person. What color ink do you prefer writing in? Black? Have you inherited any garments from your parents or grandparents? I don't think so. When was the last time you visited the doctor? Why did you go? Around a week ago to get my vitamin D re-checked. Have you ever been in a Catholic confessional? Yes. Who was the last non-relative you rode in a vehicle with? My VR coach. What movie are you looking forward to coming out? I will be seeing the live action TLK as fast as physically possible. What was the title of the last song you listened to? "God Hates Your Outfit" lmao. ^Who performs it? Jeffree Star. Can you do a backflip? No. Is your car newer than a 2004? I don't have my own car. Who is the lead singer of your favorite band? Ozzy Osbourne. How would you feel if you knew you were adopted? If I grew up knowing, I wouldn't feel much of anything new besides the fact I'd be grateful as hell someone chose me. If I just suddenly found out, I'd be inexplicably shocked and furious I was never told. Do you have freckles? No. Do you have dimples? Very clearly on my left cheek, and I have a super shallow one on the right that used to be more apparent. And I have back dimples. When was the last time you went fishing? When Sara was here in June last year. Do you know anyone with a pet that has your name? No. Do you expect to be married in the next 2 years? Most likely not. What was the last injury you received? Probably something from Roman playing. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yeah. Do you regret it? No. Do you ever get in weird moods and listen to music you normally hate? Very rarely I listen to pop from when I was a kid. How old is the oldest person you’ve dated? Well, we "dated" for less than a day, but idk. I'd guess he's 27-ish now? Have you ever tried a colorful macaroon? No. What’s the last thing you made out of clay? An anatomical heart, I think? Did you learn to type through a computer program for kids? Not really for kids? We took them in middle school, and they weren't like, super kiddy. How many years were you homeschooled? I never was. What color is the tree outside your window? Uhhh probably green? I don't wanna get up and look. What do you take for pain? Advil/Ibuprofen. Which pharmacy do you use? Harris Teeter. What is this month’s calendar picture? Don't have a calendar. Is there a coffee shop in your town that’s better than Starbucks? N/A Who has the best personality on YouTube? Shane Dawson's is probably the most universally likable, I think. Have you ridden your bike yet this year? I don't have one anymore. What does your bike look like? N/A Who are your favorite kids that you’ve babysat? I babysat only once and hated it. Not the kid, just the duty. Who is your favorite cousin? I don't have a favorite. Does one side of your family live in another state? Both sides do. What states did your parents grow up in? New York and Ohio. What, if anything, are you severely allergic to? Severely, nothing. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to an insect? No, thankfully. Do you spill food on yourself while you eat? Not often. What is a topic you like to answer questions on the most? Meerkats or Mark. Have you ever seen a queen bee outside its hive? I have no clue. Which Clue (or Cluedo) character is your favorite? I was always Miss Scarlet because even as a kid I knew she was hot stuff. Do you watch any old films? If so, name a few of your favorites. I don't really watch movies period. But a few I like are The Outsiders, Old Yeller, Johnny Got His Gun, A Raisin In The Sun, Steel Magnolias... lots of others, really. Just not many are coming to mind immediately. Who are some of your classic era film actors and actresses, if any? Idk. Do you have any novelty ice cube trays? No. Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? The only ex who I'm aware even loved me in the first place is Jason, and I probably wouldn't say anything. Got a very strong feeling my PTSD would literally erupt like goddamn Saint Helen and I'd leave the situation in the blink of an eye. I don't love him anymore, and I don't even know if I'd believe him telling me that now, but I know damn well it would fuck with me. Would you ever work at a movie theater? It sure as hell wouldn't be my first pick. At least here, they're grossly underpaid and overworked. Do you have a phone charger in your car? If you have a specific type of cord. Do you live far from your parents? I live with my mom. Dad's like... 20-ish minutes away, if that? Can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? Mom is always with me. Do you like pineapple on pizza? Never tried, never want to. I can just about guarantee I would positively loathe it. Sweet and savory don't mix with me. Do you like to hold hands? With my s/o and I'm comfortable with them, yeah. What’s a show that you absolutely refuse to watch? 13 Reasons Why. How many times have you been in love? Twice. Do you remember how old you were when you started swearing? However old I was in the 7th grade. Last thing you cooked? Toaster strudels in the toaster oven. Movie you want to see? I wanna see the newest HTTYD soooo badly, but I doubt I'll get the chance while it's in theaters. Ever spent the night in a tent? Yeah. What do you call your grandparents? Grammy. The others are dead. Can you snap your fingers? Poorly with my right hand. Can you wink? Only with my right eye. How many keys do you carry with you? One. How well do you know the people you live with? Well, she's my mom and we're very close. Do you own any jerseys? No. Who knows your biggest secrets? Sara. Have you ever ran from your own parents? No. Are you afraid of clowns? No. Do you crack your knuckles? I physically can't, and besides, the sound is disgusting to me. Who IMed you on Facebook last? Girt. Could you see yourself dropping out of high school? I'm long out of high school, and I didn't. Do you have any personal fashion rules that revolve around your own preferences/body type (e.g., you never/always wear a certain color, sleeve type, or length of dress)? I don't wear shorts, tight shirts, dresses, skirts, crop tops, I wouldn't dare touch a romper, I highly doubt I'd wear yellow... just to name the ones that came to me immediately. Do you remember any celebrity whose style you admired when you were a teen? What do you think of that style now? YO Avril Lavigne was my emo model okay. She's still a queen. The last time you had a conflict with someone else, did you confront them about it or keep it to yourself? Do you think it would have been better or worse to do the opposite? Uhhh... I don't remember who this was. When you finally make a decision to do something you have been contemplating for a while, do you become highly anxious and motivated to do it right away? Yup. When you were a kid did you make up lies about your life to make yourself seem more interesting? Alternatively, did you know kids who told these stories and did you believe them? Bitch I made up that a talking wolf came to me and gave me animal powers and the rule was I could only tell three people. I was a fucking weird kid. I know others who have made things up, too. Can you think of a moment from your childhood that was totally “on brand” for you, or consistent with your adult personality? I'm sure there's something, but nothing's coming to me rn. Have you ever warned someone else about something, whether it was about a person in their life or an oncoming weather event? Yup, in numerous scenarios. So, is it "gif" with a hard G or soft G? I say both, but "jiff" more frequently. Is there a book or movie that you thought was about something completely different from what it actually ended up being about? What did you think it would be? Maybe... Is there an item that you bought on a whim, but now consider it a crucial part of your life and you would or have purchased it again? I have no clue.

[ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult]

Wicked, Part II-Chuck Bass Imagine

Requested: Yes

Warnings: underage drinking, long 

   “Y/N!” 

   I nearly jumped out of my skin and snapped my attention to Serena. She was staring at me expectantly and seemed the slightest bit concerned. We were standing in the courtyard at school, other Constance and St. Jude’s students were millling about around us. The cool breeze that slipped past also brought my attention back to Earth as I tightened my Ralph Lauren wool scarf tighter around my neck.

   “Sorry, what did you say?” I asked.

   “I wanted to know if you knew what the benefit tonight was for. Blair says it’s for the elephants, but I think it’s for the poor kids in the third world,” Serena said.

   I blinked and racked my mind for a moment. The Schaeffers were partnering with some big charity foundation for a benefit that night and everyone in the Upper East Side was invited. However, so many charity benefits were an excuse for people to throw money not just to help a cause, but to prove that they had the ability to throw money. Of course, my parents and I were going since Mother couldn’t only be a social butterfly, but also a philanthropist. 

    “I thought it was for the whales,” I replied. 

    Serena sighed. “It probably is, you’re better at remembering these things than I am.” 

   “Yes, maybe.” I turned slightly and spotted Jenny moving across the courtyard at record speed with a bright pink bakery box in her hands. Her blue eyes were wide but focused, a look that could have only been caused by Blair. My stomach clenched when I thought of the look of her face when she saw Chuck and me at his party last weekend. She probably had no idea what to do with this information, but as far as I could tell, she hadn’t told anyone. “I’ll catch up with you later.”

   “Okay,” Serena said, sounding unsure.

   I followed Jenny out of the courtyard and down one of the semi-crowded hallways. “Jenny, wait up!” 

   Jenny paused, turned to me, and relaxed when she saw me, but her shoulders were slightly tense. She couldn’t think that I was as threatening as Blair, Serena, or even Chuck? 

   “I’m sorry, I really should be going, Blair wants these danishes ASAP,” Jenny said. 

   “You can take a minute or two to talk to me, can’t you?” I made my eyes as innocent and kind as possible. “I’ll even go with you to give Blair her pastries to lessen the blow, okay?”

   Jenny glanced at her watch and breathed. “Okay.”

   I smiled and pulled her aside. “About last weekend, I wanted to let you know that I was drunk and maybe even a little stoned when what happened, happened, and I appreciate you not telling anyone or putting up a blast on Gossip Girl.” 

   “I’m not that kind of girl, Y/N. As far as anyone knows, I didn’t see anything,” she said with a soft smile. 

   “Great.” I had to fight letting out the biggest sigh of relief of my life. Jenny could have easily parlayed the situation to work in her favor, but she hadn’t. I’d told Blair that people from Brooklyn weren’t completely awaful.

   We started walking in the direction of Blair’s locker, I practically floated since I’d gotten so much off my chest and out of my head. Nothing could bring me back down to Earth. 

   When we got close to Blair’s locker, I nearly froze in place. Not only was she surrounded by her usual minions, but Chuck was talking to her. It had been days since I’d spoken to him and I had managed to avoid him at school. I couldn’t even begin to think about what I would say to him or how I would act around him. Part of me hoped that he thought I was incredibly intoxicated that night and the other part of me hoped that he blacked out and forgot that night even happened. However, when he looked over and saw Jenny and me, I knew that he had not forgotten one little thing.

   Crap. 

  “Jenny, what took you so long?” Blair asked as she snatched the box out of Jenny’s hands.

   “She was talking to me, it was my fault if anything, Blair,” I said. 

  Blair didn’t relax at all. “Well, you have to speak to her on your own time.” She handed the box to Isabel. 

  “Noted.”

  “Y/N,” Chuck said.

  “Hi, Chuck.” 

  The way he looked at me sent shivers up and down my spine. After Jenny caught us, I’d chased after her to try and talk to her, but Isabel caught her before I could and Blair dragged me into a conversation about colleges. We hadn’t spoken after that, not that Chuck did not try to, but I couldn’t talk about it. 

  “Nice shoes, Y/N, Ferragamo?” Kati asked.

  I blinked my gaze away from Chuck and glanced at the black suede over-the-knee boots I wore. “Yes, good eye, Kati.” I slipped my bag higher up on my shoulder. “I should get to class.”

   “I’ll walk you,” Chuck said.

   I wanted to tell him no, but he was already guiding me away. “I’ll see you all tonight?” I called over my shoulder. Then, I turned to Chuck. “What do you want, Chuck?” 

  “To talk. You’ve been avoiding me.”   “No, I haven’t.”

  “You didn’t respond to my texts.”   “My phone was dead.” 

  “We both know that’s a lie.” 

  I hesitated, a little ashamed of myself for trying to lie to Chuck. He was the father of lies, after all. “We can’t do this here, I’m not going to do this here.”

  Chuck pulled me aside, glanced at a pair of Constance sophomores who were staring at us as they past, and looked at me. “You knew that this was going to happen sooner or later. What happened the other night----”

   “I shouldn’t have done it,” I blurted out. “I was stupid, drunk, emotional, and I thought I knew what I wanted, but I didn’t.” 

  “Stop it,” Chuck hissed. 

  I shook my head. “It’s the truth, Chuck. We shouldn’t have kissed. I feel sick when I think about it because I know I hid it from my friends.”

  “We don’t have to hide----we can tell people.”

  “You don’t really want to be with me, Chuck.” 

  “I meant everything I said that night.”   “You were drunk.”

  “Not really.” He stared at me intently. “I know that you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you----I just don’t understand why you’re lying to yourself.”   “I have to go.” I brushed past Chuck and headed to class, tears burning at my eyes as I thought of exactly why I was pushing the boy of my dreams away. And I knew exactly why: I didn’t want to lose my best friends. 

   That evening, everyone in the Upper East Side was packed into the ballroom of the Waldorf Astoria. Champagne and fine hors d’ouevres were being served by waiters and waitresses in crisp black and white uniforms. All the guests were wearing sharp black Armani tuxedos or structured Dolce & Gabbana gowns. Mother dragged Father and I for the usual rounds before I finally got to break away and join Serena. She looked fabulous in her silk and chiffon pink spaghetti strap Juan Carlos Obando gown. Her blonde hair was slicked back into a high ponytail and diamond studs shimmered in her ears.

   “You look amazing, S,” I said as I hugged her. “Dan’s missing out.”

   “He had this work thing to do, it’s fine,” Serena said. “But you look great too.”

   “I should after three hours of getting ready,” I teased. 

   I was wearing a black velvet Ulla Johnson gown with strappy Jimmy Choos. My hair was wound up in a ballerina bun that gave me a little bit of a headache, but pain was beauty. 

  “Blair looks like she’s on cloud nine with Nate,” Serena said, gesturing to the couple as they danced to the band playing “Beyond the Sea”. 

   “She always looks like that when she’s with Nate, even when they’re fighting.” I snatched a flute of champagne off of a passing waiter’s tray and began sipping. 

  “They are adorable,” Serena mused. “But you’ll get your time.”

  I sniffed. “Yeah, sure.”

  Little did she know that I had already lost my time, it seemed like. Plus, it didn’t help that Chuck was flirting with a beautiful girl with long dark hair and olive-toned skin. She looked like a model of some sort, but it would have hurt to see him with any other girl. 

  How could I have been so stupid? He doesn’t feel anything for me, he was just playing me.

  “Y/N, what’s wrong?” Serena asked.

  “Nothing, I...I just need some air. I’ll be back,” I said, squeezing her hand in reassurance.

  The ballroom suddenly became too crowded as I weaved my way through the crowd of rich, finely-dressed people. Finally, I got out into the lobby and still couldn’t really breathe. It felt like someone had ran a knife through my chest and I was gasping for breath. Then, I felt the tears coming on and shook my head. 

  This couldn’t be happening, I was not crying over a boy. I had to get out of the hallway, no one could see me like this. I managed to make my way over to the women’s restroom to calm myself down. I took little sips of champagne and tried to even my breathing. 

  “It’s fine, you’re fine, Y/N, you’re fine,” I muttered to myself.

  Why couldn’t I get the picture of Chuck smirking with that model out of my head? Why did it hurt so much to think about them? I couldn’t possibly love him, could I? No, he had to be the worst person to possibly fall in love with.

  “I just had to do it,” I muttered again. 

  I loved Chuck, but was too afraid of what my friends would think to admit it outloud. Did he know how I felt? If he did, why would he rub his model friend in my face? Why would he play games? Everyone knew how much I hated playing games. 

  I took a few more minutes to calm myself down before walking back outside. Unfortunately, I could still hear my heart thumping in my ears and felt my stomach twist into knots. 

   Love really can make people sick. 

   I wandered back into the ballroom, glaring at everyone who dared to smile at their escorts and partners. It was childish, but I couldn’t help myself. I snatched another flute of champagne from a passing waiter and began sipping it as calmly as I could.

  “There you are!” Blair exclaimed as she dragged Nate towards me. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

   “Here I am,” I said with a shrug.

   “You look nice, Y/N,” Nate said.

   “Thanks.” 

   “Can you believe Chuck has the audacity to bring that prostitute into a nice event like this? I shouldn’t be surprised by him anymore,” Blair said.

   “She is a model.” When Blair glared at him, Nate quickly added, “He told me about her earlier today. Met her at some party or bar or something.” 

   “Whoever she is, she doesn’t have any class, but I don’t know if Bass has standards anymore.”

   “Blair.”

   “Who’s to say that he doesn’t?” I argued. “Maybe that girl is the next Alessandra Ambrosio or Adriana Lima. Maybe he didn’t like his options in the Upper East Side.” 

   “Whatever, he’s nice to have at parties, but no self-respecting girl would date him,” Blair said.

   Nate remained mum about his friend, suggesting that he agreed with his girlfriend. I, on the other hand, was boiling on the inside. As angry and upset as I was, I couldn’t help but defend Chuck. 

   “Perhaps they would if they got to know him.” 

   “Enough about Chuck, we need to talk about Yale.”

   “Blair----”

   “My father has a fantastic house in New Haven we could go to on the weekends and I even have a few leads on eligible Skull n Bones members.”

   “Blair, I am not interested in dating a member of a secret society nor your father’s New Haven house. I am so sorry that we, for maybe the third time in our lives, have different ambitions. Is it so terrible that I want to go to another state for school?”

   Blair hesitated. “We had plans. We were both going to go to Yale, marry Yale men, and---”

  “And move back to New York and raise our kids on Park, right? That may be what you want, but it isn’t what I want.” 

  “Well, what do you want?” She asked in a semi-curious, but mostly indignant way.

  At that precise moment, Chuck decided to approach our group with the gorgeous girl on his arm. “I don’t believe any of you got the chance to meet my friend, Natalia.” 

  “No, we haven’t.” Blair smiled tightly. “I’m Blair and this is Nate, my boyfriend.”

  “Hi, Natalia,” Nate said.

  “Y/N,” I said.

   She smiled, revealing a perfect gap between her two front teeth. “It is nice to meet all of you.”  

  “Do you mind if I borrow Chuck for a moment?” I asked.

  “It is fine with me.”

  Chuck smirked at me as we walked away from the group. “What burning thing could you possibly have to talk to me about?”

  I whirled on him. “How sick of a person are you? You tell me you want to be with me one second and then in the next, you taunt me with a model. You may like to play games, but I don’t, Chuck.” 

   “Unless my memory is mistaken, you’re the one that didn’t want to tell anyone what happened, so why does it matter to you if I bring a model to a gala?”

   “It’s ‘who’ and it matters because I want to be with you!” I hissed. 

   There was something so cathartic about finally admitting my feelings for him. All the pressure floated from my shoulders, so much so that I nearly fell forward. But Chuck grabbed me by my shoulders and kissed me. The kiss was so much sweeter than the first time, sweeter than I imagined Chuck could be. 

   In that moment, I didn’t care what anyone thought. All that mattered was I finally got the guy who I always wanted.

[shima-draws]

Timeloop Aftermath

((I decided to create a possible idea of what might happen with the Aftermath of this AU. It’s a brilliant AU, so many possibilities and great writing on your part (I also love your art wow)! So, here it is! I hope you like it!))

After the incident, everything in Jeremy’s life changed, and for the better.

After he told Michael about everything that had happened (using the journal as proof, even if he has to read it to him and persuade it to him enough to make him believe him), he was convinced by Michael to get the Squip out of his brain.

There was a whole shitload of stuff that happened (may possibly write it out), whereas Jeremy had to fight against the Squip'a forces, talk to Rich, and finally get that Mountain Dew Red to end it all, Michael being his main support.

Afterwards, with everything that had happened to them with the party and Squips, Jeremy finally seemed to be accepted by people. Not only did Rich come out as bi and started being good friends with Jeremy and Michael, he got them one step closer to Jake, Chloe, Brook and Jenna. Christine had taken a liking to helping Michael after the accident (Jeremy wasn’t into her anymore since he figured out his feelings for Michael, however he couldn’t help appreciate all the amazing things she did), and so the Drama Crew was formed, their friendship really unexpected and magnificent.

Not to mention that Jeremy and Michael had gotten together quickly. Jeremy visited Michael in the hospital everyday after the accident until he got out. Apparently Michael would have full blindness for up to a year, six-nine months at least, and then he’s have eyesight problems for the rest of his life (so, worse than needing glasses obviously, however he’d have partial blindness at times. However it wouldn’t affect him as greatly, and not as bad forever).

Despite the joking bets about how long they’d last, they lasted.. that’s just it. They lasted. They graduated, went to college together (They were cool in college, let me tell you,) and moved in together shortly afterwards. They went on dates, got a dog named Pac-Man (a stray Michael found on the street, what a furry,) , and eventually had a wedding! It was small but cute, the Crew was there, Jeremy’s dad was there, Michael’s parents were there, and Mr. Reyes was there for some reason. It was all amazing, life couldn’t go better for Michael and Jeremy Heere.

That’s the saying, you can only go up. But when you’re up, where else can you go? Well.. only down, of course.

Jeremy and Michael were in their early 40’s. It had been so long since everything happened, the two never imagined Michael’s sight could be so bad ever again. He had been able to see just fine since he had turned 31, despite still needing glasses. They hadn’t even costed the doctor in a whole year, they were so confident.

Confidence wasn’t enough.

Michael had always been insistent on driving himself places after he had gotten better. To practice driving again after getting better, he went to the grocery store to get stuff for the week for them every week, and he had just kept it up since. It wasn’t a big deal.

It had been September when this whole instance occurred. Jeremy sat at home on this Monday, when he had the work day off for Labor day. He sorted through the papers in his hands that was keeping him busy. It wasn’t business papers, oh no (he couldn’t work for a big business anyways, it reminded him of the Squip. Plus he just hated the thought of working in a cubical), these were adoption papers. Jeremy and Michael had been thinking about this for yesrs, and now they were thing of going through with this. He was reading through the different foster care systems near them, when he heard his phone ring.

Jeremy wasn’t one to let his phone go to voicemail unless he was really, really into something or just couldn’t reach the phone. This wasn’t one of those times. He was quite calm at the moment, normal, feeling alright..

He suddenly didn’t feel alright. With the sound of the stranger over the line telling him about the accident. Telling him that his player two had swivered off the side of the highway into a ditch in a frenzy. He was at the hospital. He was under-

Jeremy had stopped listening. Why? Because he dripped his phone on the way outside. Panic ran through his body as he sped out of the driveway in his car, cutting someone off and not caring for a single second.

He could barely breathe as he raced towards the hospital. He knew where it was from how many times he’s been there for this man and this man alone. This man he loved more than anything in the world. The man he saw die so many times before- but felt it so real this time that he felt like he would die right here and now if he didn’t make it to the hospital.

Adrenalin filled him as he crashed into the ER, frantically waving down anyone at all to tell him where Michael was. He looked insane, so if course, security had stopped him before a nurse had came to him.

“Where’s Michael? Where- I-Im married to him! I-is he ok?”

“Sir, were doing everything we can. Hes in a critical state. You have to calm-”

“I can’t calm down! I have to see him- h-he can’t die! I can’t let him d-die! Please!” Jeremy held back the word ‘again’. He also held back tears.

“Sir, I..”

Just then, a doctor stepped into the area. He talked to the lady at the front counter before making his way over to us. “You’re Jeremy Heere, sir?”

Jeremy nodded quickly. “Y-yes, where’s Michael? Is he ok? H-hes ok, right?”

The doctor had paused.

Jeremy felt a fear rush through him at this silence. “H-hes, t-tell me Michael’s ok! Tell me!” He persisted, his voice escalating.

The doctor spoke calmly, obviously rehearsed and drone-like. “I’m sorry sir. There was nothing else we could do for him. Michael had punctured his lung and bled to death before we could do anything usef..”

Jeremy felt his heart drop as the words sunk in. His thoughts seemed to stop, scream to a halt, not disappear, but a much , much worse feeling. The feeling of his whole life crashing down on him and fleeing him at the same time. His heart stopped, like everything else, for a pause that seemed to last for hours.

Then it all hit him. All of it. His heart came back, feeling an ache that only grew worse with every pump. His mind filled with the words of the doctor, the thoughts of his lovers death, the thoughts of Michael, Michael, Michael is dead.

Jeremy was crying. His cheeks were leaking as he pulled himself away from the other men. He stumbled back, still staring at the doctor. His vision became blurry as he started crying harder than every before, his breath becoming tiny gasps, his feet losing balance when he realised he was outside the hospital, on the grass. He brought his hands to his face, weeping and whaling profusely to himself, alone.

Everything came flooding back. And it all guilted him. He could have gone grocery shopping with him. For him. He could have taken him to the doctors to get checked up, seen that his sight might get worse. Checked that his lover was ok with a phone call, say “I love you, player two” one last time. The worst part was that he couldn’t remember the last words they had exchanged.

His mind was in such a spiraling state that he started thinking of everything bad that he ever did to Michael. He reached his deaths, he reached the looping. He remembered every death. He remembered his pain and how none of that pain was nearly as bad as it is now. Now was the worst day of his life. And there had been many bad days for Jeremy Heere.

He just wanted to see his face one more time. He wanted to see his lover, his player two, his alive husband, his best friend, his partner in crime, the most amazing person in the world-

“Or you’ll what?”

The bathroom. The light. The taste of shitty, terrible liquor threatening his mouth. And right in front of him, almost 30 years younger, was the love of his life. He teared up.

“M-Michael?”

(HOOOOO BOYYYYYY I AM. I AM DEC E ASED

I AM LIKE. LIKE THIS

I’M AM PHYSICALLY W EAK

That was really really really fantastic, wow!! I have had thoughts about making the timeline where Michael goes blind the final timeline, sort of like, there’s gotta be some sacrifices, but they don’t necessarily have to be someone dying, ya know? And just imagining all the fun stuff that he and Jeremy go through afterward, hoooo!

All I can think about now is Jeremy pushing Michael (who’s wearing like, shutter shades or a pair of ridiculous sunglasses probably) around in a wheel chair through school and Michael’s like “Move outta the way, bitches, I got an escort to class” and like. Once they recover they get comfortable enough to make blind jokes ppfffp Although I do like the idea of Michael’s sight coming back eventually. Like the accident at Jake’s house was only temporary and he regains his sight after a couple months or a year or smth.

BUT ANYWAY BACK TO SCREAMING THAT WRECKED ME AAAA!! I just can’t imagine how awful that would be, to live thirty years and then be taken back in time all the way back to the start of the whole thing;; but now Jeremy can try to prevent the whole blind thing, yeah? (Maybe instead Jeremy ends up going blind :0)

STOP KILLING MICHAEL I say as I continue to kill Michael in multiple of my AUs haha--//shot

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!! You guys are awesome continuing to shower me with fics and beautiful art and giving me more ideas for this AU I AM TRULY. TRULY BLESSED.)

[birdshirt1-blog]

Please Send All Your Fried Brains and Micro-Brisket to Novelist Gary Shteyngart

As research for Lake Success, a novel about a wealthy Manhattan businessman who hops on a Greyhound to escape his troubles, writer Gary Shteyngart went on a bus trip of his own through the American South. This journey turned out to be something of an epicurean odyssey for the author. “In some of the roadside places where ‘the Hound’ would stop, you’d have, like, the best fried chicken on the planet,” Shteyngart says. And to get inside the mind of the hedge-fund types depicted in Lake Success, Shteyngart also embedded himself among a bunch of New York finance guys, who, he says, actually “eat really bad food.” All things considered, Shtyengart thinks that “10 percent of the book is food-based.”

For close followers of Shteyngart’s work, this should come as no surprise: Throughout his career, the author has peppered his novels with food references, while also writing dining guides and occasional odes to important restaurants in his life in between novels. For all these reasons, we thought the acclaimed author would be the perfect fit for The Famous Original Eater Questionnaire.

In the middle of his “87-day tour” promoting Lake Success last fall, Shteyngart took some time to answer questions about the dishes he loves and the ones he’ll never eat again.

What’s the last thing that you ate? Gary Shteyngart: It was on an Amtrak, and I had… oh, I guess a beer doesn’t really count.

Beer totally counts. I had a Brooklyn Defender IPA? It was a Brooklyn Defender something on the train home last night.

When and where was the last time you had a hot dog? Oh, wait a minute, I’m sorry, I had a hot dog with that IPA. I forgot all about that. I’m trying to repress that, I think.

How was the hot dog? It was good. I mean, it’s not the world’s worst hot dog, but it is microwaved, so the bun doesn’t quite work out. But in theory, it should be the easiest food you can have on the Amtrak.

Follow-up question about the hot dog: A character in your new novel mentions that the Old Town Bar serves the best hot dogs in Manhattan. Do you think that’s true? Yeah, I think it is amazing. I order two of them with fries. It’s just pure heaven. I don’t know what it is. They have a great cheeseburger, too, but that is just amazing.

I feel like people don’t know that place for hot dogs. People think of it as a cheeseburger place, because they have a great one. But I actually prefer the cheeseburger at Joe Junior’s. That is a succulent cheeseburger.

What do you want to eat right this second? Well now that I mention that cheeseburger, I very well might order it right now. Are we at lunchtime yet? I hope so.

What’s your favorite but admittedly strange food combination? I do like eating foods that should be eaten later. Like, I feel really — what’s the word? —subversive when I have something that’s meant for lunch at breakfast, and it’s not a brunch situation. Let’s say it’s Tuesday morning, and what if I order a ham-and-cheese sandwich, and not an omelet or anything like that? A ham-and-cheese sandwich slathered with mayo and I have coffee with that at 9:30 a.m. Can you imagine?

What’s one food item that you didn’t try till later in life? Well I grew up, you know, in the Soviet Union and then with a sort of post-Soviet household, and we really didn’t use garlic that much — it was not a big thing. I discovered garlic when I started going to Spanish restaurants. There used to be a bunch of Spanish restaurants [in New York] and I think there are still a few left. Back then, they were pretty avant-garde, or associated with “cool eating” before all the other stuff. Back then, I loved shrimp al ajillo and mariscada in green sauce — stuff like that is so good. So garlic-flavored.

In your book, you cover a lot of high-roller culture in NYC, and I read somewhere that you did some research hanging out with hedge-fund guys. What was that like? A lot of them eat really bad food. The problem is that if you go to your club or the high-end places in New York, they’re all kind of the same. The clubs are awful, but the high-end places are, eh, you know... I like some of them. But the Polo Bar is not that great, honestly, for food. It’s great for people watching, so it becomes this event. But for pure food, I would take them to great Korean and Indian places I love, like Madangsui on the 35th Street, which has the best micro-brisket I’ve ever had. Or what’s that place on Lex that has the best chicken biryani on the planet? Oh, what is it called? Shit. [Checks his computer] Oh, Sahib, I think is the name. Oh my god. So, you do that instead of one of those places, and you’re really eating the best food in New York.

What’s a food that you’ve never eaten that you wish you could try? Well, I was just in Scotland and I had haggis for the second time and I loved that, but I guess I have tried that. You know, the thing is that I’ve eaten almost every animal alive. I was at a ceremony in the Arctic Circle where the local Inuits were eating whale, so I ate the whale — not great. I’m not a big whale guy.

What did it taste like? Like fish, but in rubber form? I dunno… it was not good. But they’re allowed to, I think, eat one whale per year or something. It’s a huge part of their customs and lifestyle, so I was honored to be a part of that. My wife and I got married up there, so it was part of the thing. Oh, caribou is great — raw caribou.

“I’ve eaten the brains of every animal imaginable.”

Raw caribou? Yeah, like caribou sashimi. Delicious. I’m trying to think of what I haven’t eaten. I think I’ve eaten just about everything. I’m a little bit of an insectophobe, so I don’t think I could ever eat a water bug or something like that. I know people live on that stuff, but that’s the one thing. Brains? No problem. I’ve eaten the brains of every animal imaginable.

What is your drink? I’m traditionally a vodka-tonic guy, because I love vodka — obviously, I grew up in Russia. My favorite new drink, which I’ve been really loving is, there’s a place called District Distilling Co., I believe. It’s out of D.C., and I’ve never been a huge rye fan, but this just blew my mind. It is so good. They make the best rye on the planet. They just sent me a six pack of that because I am jonesing for it all the time. I’m on, like, this 87-day tour, and it’s the official drink of the 87-day tour. Because every time I touch down back home, I just uncap a bottle and drink it the way people drink a Pabst — glug, glug, glug.

Related to being on a book tour, I know that you took a bus trip while writing Lake Success. What is your traveling game plan when you’re on the road? Do you go to chain restaurants? Do you hit-up mom-and-pop restaurants? What’s your strategy there? Oh yeah, absolutely. Wherever I go, I just try to hit the best place imaginable. I’m going to St. Louis, so obviously that’s going to be ribs. But my friend also told me about this thing in St. Louis call the St. Paul sandwich — have you heard of this? It’s in Chinese restaurants, and it’s like an egg foo yung patty with dill pickles, onions, mayonnaise, lettuce, and tomatoes, served on white bread. So that is my goal for this trip to St. Louis — I gotta get a St. Paul sandwich.

Do you have a universal dinner party soundtrack? Yeah, I put on... I dunno, it’s a mix. Old Dr. John’s stuff like “Mama Roux,” I feel like that really helps with digestion. I like the… what’s the Ethiopian jazz that’s really great and mellow?

Is it the Éthiopiques compilation? Yeah, slide into Éthiopiques. That’s great for digestion.

Do you have a favorite chain restaurant? It’s a bit of a cliche. But I think In-N-Out is insane. I mean, that is a huge part of going to LA for me. They have one right outside LAX — they probably have one inside LAX, but I just haven’t figured it out. You know, again, I’m going really cliche on this, but Animal-style fries and all that. And that actually showed up in Super Sad True Love Story. I believe one of the characters is from California originally and is like, “Oh god, why am I living in New York, where there’s no In-N-Out?” Why can’t they open one here?! I think it’s just obstinance on their part.

If you could bring one now-closed restaurant back to life, which one would it be? For sure El Faro. That’s where I discovered garlic. I grew up in Eastern Queens — Littleneck — and now it’s really cool. They have all these Korean restaurants there, but they didn’t before. And then I went to Stuyvesant High School and started meeting people. I think I was already in college, but I started to develop a more global, kind of New York-y taste. El Faro was not cutting-edge at that point. It wasn’t new, but it felt like an old bohemian New York, and the whole thing smelled of garlic to such an extent that your eyes really watered.

I’ve written about it quite a bit — I did a piece in the Times magazine, I think, about it. And when it closed, that was horrifying. That was the one. Union Square Cafe closing was a big thing too. I wasn’t as much of a [fan], but I do remember when I published my first book that was a big publishing hangout and that’s where they took me, so that was pretty awesome, but it wasn’t like heart-rendering. Anyway, it reopened now on Park Avenue South I think, and it’s not bad either.

But yes, there is this weird feeling you get in New York, where, because the rents are so high, [you wonder] what’s going to survive in Manhattan. I do live in Manhattan. I don’t want to live in Auburndale to get the best food, right? I mean, nothing against Auburndale, it’s just really far from my shrink.

Is there a food trend that you’re sick of? I dunno... I just don’t get into these food trends that much. I can live without kale for a very long time and be totally happy. I’m one of those people that looks for staying power. Some things are just better than others, and almost every culture has a great cuisine, a great dish. Russian food is not my favorite, but just oily sturgeon with a shot of vodka, that is a great meal in and of itself.

What’s your “Proust’s madeleine”? It’s a dish that my mother made a lot when I was a kid. It was kasha, which is buckwheat groats, I think. It’s boiled in water and milk, and my mother would put little slices of sausage in it. When I was growing up, I thought this was the most disgusting dish ever, and I would fight with my mother — I mean, we’d have screaming fits about it. In Russia, it’s considered health food, and I guess it is health food, considering everything else in Russia is just butter. She would make me eat it, and I would hate it. I would love the sausage part, because it was meat, you know? But I would eat around the kasha, and she would literally cram it down my mouth.

And then I had a kid, and he used to love a Russian chain called Teremok that was near us, and it closed down. It wasn’t my favorite place in the universe, but my kid loved it, and I think it felt for him like a connection — obviously he was born in New York — but a connection to Daddy’s culture. He actually ate the kasha, and not just the sausage. He loved the sausage very much, but he ate the kasha. And I would almost get tears in my eyes whenever I would see him eat it. I almost felt bad, like, “I wish I had enjoyed it as a kid.”

What’s a food secret that you think more people should know about? Oh god, I’m going to really gross people out here, but fried brains are amazing. That is actually something my mother made. She said it would make me smarter — that didn’t work out — but that was sort of her pitch for it. You can get them in Italy. They’re called cervelli fritti and they are spectacular — lightly, lightly fried. Ahhh, they just melt in your mouth.

I know people have this thing about brains, but they don’t taste like brains. If you take out the idea of brains, they taste like the essence of the animal, like a Vulcan mind-meld with a cow. And I just had them in London — calves’ brains — that were also very delicious. If you’re a carnivore, it makes sense to eat every part of the animal, because the animal has given itself up for your eating pleasure — go nuts, and eat every piece of it. Eat its brain and feel like you really are communing with the animal.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

• All Installments of the Famous Original Eater Questionnaire [E]

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Source: https://www.eater.com/2019/2/15/18224955/gary-shteyngart-food-interview