#worst part is i actually remember learning the word a few years ago i just forgot about it until i looked for the meaning

[ao3screenshotss]

kinda embarrassing but funny so

i was looking up my old primary school friends on instagram and in one of them her bio said thespian and hearts with the lesbian flag colours and i was like

huh, not sure what thespian means but it must be another word for lesbian. it even ends in the same letters!

anyways

[lenaswritingandstuff]

Your Teddy ~ Theodore Nott x f!reader (PART 2)

Requested: No

Pairing: Theodore Nott x f!reader

Summary: Theo helps y/n get the pieces of her former life together.

Word count: 2.5K

Warnings: Lots of talking, mentions of drinking, English is not my first language

A/N: The next part should be the last one. Let me know if you want to be tagged! Comments and feedback are always appreciated. Sorry for the typos. Hope you enjoy it! GIF is not mine.

Tag list: @helendeath @im-jesus @wolfyychan @blocked-zombieartist

Tag list for this story: @cyriellee42 @littlepippilongstocking @lovetaylorrussellgrr @sequoiavink @cloudyyydayzzz @lovefushi @esmerai-artemis @atadoddinnit

PART ONE

Sitting on his dorm’s hard floor, his back against the door, Theo grabbed the bottle again and brought it to his mouth. He felt the burning liquid going down his throat, and while it actually did hurt, it was nothing compared to the pain he had been feeling since he learned a few hours ago that y/n didn’t remember anything - didn’t remember him. 

“I, um...I’m sorry, but... who are you?”

She doesn’t remember. The thought was like a thousand knives in his heart. She didn’t remember all the dates they went on, how much they laughed and talked during them, all their time spent just the two of them, just enjoying being together, their first kiss and those that followed, the first time Theo told her he loved her, the first time she told him she loved him, all their cuddles and nights spent embracing each other or spent loving each other, all their hugs, all the time they comforted each other - how she comforted him after his mother passed away and, every year, on her death anniversary. How much they loved each other - how much she loved him. That was the worst part. He could tell y/n about the moments they spent together, where and how their first kiss was. He could also show her how much he loved her and why they dated in the first place, but what if she couldn’t fall in love with him again? What if she wanted nothing to do with him? 

His stomach twisted at the thought, and he drank again. One part of him refused to think that y/n, having a big heart full of patience and understanding, wouldn’t at least give him a chance, but the other part of him, the one who always told him how she deserved better than him, told him otherwise. Theo had felt alone when his mother died, but the feeling had faded away when he and y/n started dating. It came back with y/n’s disappearance, and was worse than ever. No one had ever loved him besides his mother and y/n, and now he had lost both. Of course he had friends, and he deeply cared about them, but it wasn’t the same. They only knew the happy, sarcastic, careless Theo, not the true version of Theo who felt things deeply, was really insecure and kept wondering why his father didn’t seem to care about him at all. He felt tears suddenly running down his cheeks, but didn’t care. 

All of a sudden, Theo heard a knock on the door. He closed his eyes - which he would have probably rolled if he had enough energy and less alcohol in his body - in annoyance and was about to pretend not to be here when he heard a familiar voice. 

“Theo, open the door.” 

Mattheo knocked again after speaking. Sighing, Theo grabbed the bottle and managed to get up, finding himself feeling incredibly dizzy when he opened the door. Mattheo came in, and Theo went to sit on his bed. Mattheo closed the door behind him, and raised an eyebrow.

“Merlin, it’s even worse than I thought.” 

Theo, who now had a terrible headache, looked at him. “What?”

“Your ass is drunk. Like you had been for the past three months.” 

“So what?” Theo snapped coldly. 

He could find in him to tolerate his best friend coming to check up on him and comforting him, but not a lecture. They both had shitty fathers - and a crazy ass woman as a mother for Mattheo -, and had bonded over it, but Mattheo hadn’t always been single, and therefore couldn’t truly understand how Theo felt, as much as he tried. 

“I suggest you quit drinking, get a shower, eat something and clean up this room, because a little bird named Pansy told me y/n is leaving the hospital wing tomorrow. Do you want her to see you like that?”

Theo ran a hand through his face, frowning. “What?” 

“Mrs Pomfrey was able to heal all y/n’s injuries,” Mattheo said, and then his gaze softened. “Except for her memory loss.” 

Theo looked at the ground, and Mattheo slowly came to sit beside him on the bed.

“I’m sorry, mate. I mean it.”

Theo couldn’t say anything as he left that if he did, he would cry, and there was a short moment of silence before Mattheo spoke again.

“You know, y/n only came back today. They still can find a remedy. Pansy said they’ll look in other books.” 

“Did she find out why?” Theo asked in a hoarse voice. 

“No. It might be from trauma, a potion or a spell. They’ll probably do other tests.” 

“Did they come?” Theo asked. “Her parents, I mean?”

“Yes. They were…upset, of course. Pansy was here when they saw y/n. They asked her to come home for at least a few days, but she refused.” 

The thought was y/n wasn’t alone while meeting people who were now basically strangers made him feel better, but it was at this moment that Theo realised how selfish he had been. He had lost his girlfriend, the girl he imagined spending the rest of his days with, but y/n had lost everything. Everything she had known and was used to - from family and friends to her childhood home and the school - were now foreign to her. And instead of being there for her, he was fucking drinking. 

“She’ll need you,” Mattheo continued. “You were a big part of her life.” 

“I want to help her,” Theo answered. “But…What if she doesn’t want me anymore?”

Mattheo had a half-smile, “No chance, mate. She asked Pansy about you.” 

Theo’s heart almost skipped a beat, and he turned to his friend. “Really?”

Mattheo nodded, “Yeah. I don’t know the details, but she did ask questions, and apparently she felt guilty when she saw you leaving. So, as I suggested earlier, we’re gonna clean up this room, and while you take a shower, I’ll go get us something to eat. Alright?”  

Feeling a bit better - but still ashamed - Theo nodded, and Mattheo gently pushed his shoulder. 

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

The next morning, Theo woke up with one of the worst hangovers he ever had. He had a terrible headache, and any light hurt his eyes, but he wasn’t as tired as he thought he would be, probably because he had a dreamless night which allowed him to get some rest. He took a shower, and, realising it was already 10 am, he quickly put his clothes on, arranged his hair, and went down to the Great Hall. He sat down next to Lorenzo, planning to eat quickly and then go see y/n in the hospital wing. He had to apologise to her for leaving as he did the day before, and planned on at least a real conversation. 

As he ate, Theo felt his frustration grow. This isn’t what he had planned for her return. He had planned to get her flowers and many gifts, and to cuddle for days, trying to make up for the time lost. The cuddles were absolutely obviously out of the question now, and the gifts were maybe too much, but maybe flowers would still be a good idea? After all, maybe y/n would like to know that, unbeknown to her, she had a boyfriend who had missed her terribly while she was gone? He suddenly had the image of her in tears, alone in the dark, waiting for him to rescue her, losing all hope with each day passing. He shook his head, finished his plate quickly, and left the Great Hall, but he had barely taken a few steps when he saw two familiar silhouettes coming the opposite way. y/n and Pansy were laughing, and if you didn’t know y/n had lost her memory, you’d think she was still the same as she was before her kidnapping. y/n noticed Theo, and something in her behaviour shifted. 

“Ah,” Pansy said, “Hello, Nott. y/n, dear, I’m sure you remember Theo, who you saw yesterday?” 

y/n nodded. “Of course. Hi, Theo.”

“Hi, cara- y/n.”

E che cazzo, Theodore. Pull yourself together.

“I’m…glad to see you’re okay,” he managed to say. 

He meant it, but the words had a hard time coming out of his mouth, as if this new uncomfortable distance between y/n and him made everything awkward - this was also new, because even before they started dating, they had always felt incredibly comfortable and safe with each other. y/n suddenly cleared her throat, which brought Theo back to reality. 

“Hum, actually…I was wondering if we could talk?” 

It took Theo a second to realise she was speaking to him. “Talk?”

“Yeah, I…I mean, you were a part of my life, and I want to put all the pieces together.” 

Theo nodded. “Of course. Well, if you want, we can talk now?”

“Sure.”

She gave him a small, shy, adorable smile, one of those that had made him fall in love with her, but this time, instead of warming his heart, it almost broke him. Pansy excused herself and entered the Great Hall after gently squeezing y/n’s shoulder. Now that they were by themselves, the awkwardness was even worse, but all of a sudden, Theo realised he had looked at it the wrong way - sure they were now, in a way, strangers, but it didn’t have to be the end? Theo had been able to make her fall for him once, there was no way he couldn’t do it again, right? He’d just have to show her, show her exactly why she gave him a chance in the first place, and how much she meant to him. It would take time, of course, but y/n had been very patient throughout their relationship, and it was his turn now.

“Do you want to sit somewhere in particular?” he asked.

“I don’t know, was there…a particular spot we liked?” she said.

Theo immediately had an idea in mind. “Yes. Follow me.”

She followed him through the castle, and Theo noticed she looked around the castle like the first years did when they first arrived. Sometimes, her gaze would light up, and it was adorable to see. 

“Did Pansy show you around?” he asked.

“Not yet,” y/n said. “I think she plans on showing it as we go.”

Theo nodded slightly, “Well, if you prefer, I could give you a tour. The castle may seem big at first, but we usually get used to it quickly.”

y/n looked at him and gave him a half-smile, “I’d like that.”  

They both walked to a bench situated in a corner of the courtyard, a bit away from where the crowd of students usually went, so it allowed them some privacy. They sat side by side, and Theo felt both the need to put some distance between them and to eradicate any distance that existed. He had never been able to keep his hands off y/n, and always had a hand on her thigh or around her; always craving her touch. 

“So, do…Do you have any questions?” Theo asked, making sure to keep his hands to himself. 

“Well, a few, yes. But I guess I just want to get to know you.”

Theo turned to her and smirked, “Well, you already know my name. Though I have to say, my name is supposed to be Theodore but all my friends call me Theo. You, however, called me Teddy.” 

She stared at him for a second, “Teddy.” 

It felt so good to hear her call him that he almost forgot himself, almost hugging her right here and there, almost also forgetting that she probably would feel uncomfortable. 

“I’m in Slytherin just like you, and we’re in the same class, with Pansy and my friends. What else… I’m also Italian, so I’m bilingual.” 

“That’s cool,” she smiled. “Do I speak another language?”

“Well,” Theo hesitated, “you were learning Italian, and you were pretty good.” 

“And…when did we start dating?” 

Theo let out a slight sigh, “Our fifth year.” 

“Oh. And you met my parents?”

“Yeah. They were nice.”

Nice enough to allow someone like me to date their only child. 

“And have I ever met yours?”

Theo gulped and looked at his knees, “You never met my father. But I don’t see him very often, so…And my…mother died a few months before we started dating.”

y/n’s gaze from interest to surprise, sadness and compassion. “I’m so sorry, Teddy.”

“It’s okay. You helped a lot.” 

“I’m glad I did.” She then shook her head and sighed. “I really wish I remembered, you know. If there was any way, I would do it.” 

“I know.”

Because I’d do anything for you to remember, too.

“What’s the first thing you remember?” Theo said before realising it. 

“Hum, it’s not very clear, but I do remember that large guy…Hagrid, isn’t it?” Theo nodded and she continued, “I remember him holding me and telling me I was gonna be alright. He brought me back to the castle and to Mrs Pomfrey. I slept a little, she examined me, and then this professor, Professor Snape, and this other man - I think they said he’s the Headmaster here? - came to talk to me and told me they had been looking for me for months. I don’t know why but for some reason, I remember being a witch, so they didn’t have to tell me. Then Professor Snape left to tell my parents and then…you arrived.”

Theo blinked, “So you don’t remember what happened during…”

“My abduction?” y/n completed. “No, not a single thing. But it’s better this way, I think,” she added.

Theo nodded slightly, and there was a moment of silence, with only the conversation and laughs of other students for noise. Theo was glad she didn’t remember anything - even though he would always remember the images of her being tortured that had been looping inside his head - but he didn’t like the fact that those who abducted her and held her somewhere would never be punished for what they did. He had no clue of how long he had been lost in thoughts, but at some point, he realised y/n was staring at him. He turned his face towards her, feeling his cheeks becoming hot, and suddenly felt nervous.

“Do I have a third eye on my forehead or something?” he said with a nervous laugh.

y/n’s eyes widened and her own cheeks became pink in embarrassment before she looked at the ground. 

“I’m sorry, I…I guess I was trying to remember something. Anything.” 

Theo had a silent sigh and put his hand on hers, which sent shivers down his spine.

"I'll do anything I can to help you remember, y/n. And if I can't, I'll help create beautiful new memories."

Theo thought y/n's eyes were suddenly shining, and she gave him a small, thankful smile before joiging their hands together.

PART THREE

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[evandsolo]

All of the girls you loved before | ft. Yunho

jeong yunho x reader

genre : romance, SoL, slight angst words : 1,457. trigger warning : insecurities. request : hi!! if you are comfortable with it, would you write a yunho imagine based on taylor swift's all of the girls you loved before? that would be so nice! 💓 author's note : It actually was so great to write ! I loved that SO MUCH. I really really hoped that you like it ! Please do not hesitate to send more. masterlist

There’s those nights sometimes, when you lay next to him, but you’re just unable to fall asleep. The day has been pretty much the definition of what you’d call the perfect day. He came home, bringing flowers. You had a very fancy diner on the beach. You watched the sunset buried in his arms. Now you’re snuggled against him, under the sheets and you can’t help but think about everything and nothing. The way he murmured “I love you, baby.” before falling asleep in your arms. How you feel truly happy in this life but undeserving at the same time. 

You took a long time to analyze his peaceful face. You’ve never seen him that peaceful before. You knew Yunho long before you were finally together. He was a childhood friend. His parents and yours were neighbors and you two have literally grown up together. You’ve seen every little part of him. You’ve witnessed him falling in love for the first time. How he was brokenhearted when she dumped him, even though he was so nice to her. He was so happy when his high school crush said yes to him. You wiped his tears, when he came back a few months later when she betrayed him. Then his family moved out of town, and you lost sight of him for a few years. 

When he moved back in town, he was a full grown up, more handsome than ever. You thought that you’ve never seen someone that beautiful in your life. But your heart was shattered into pieces. You were dumped not so long ago. The one you had at that time, as probably the worst. You used to fight over the phone for some nonsense you actually can’t even remember now. He was jealous of everything, and made you live hell, for nearly a year. You thought you couldn’t make it through. That your heart would hurt at every single beat it takes. 

He was there, he healed every wound with patience, comprehension, attention and support. He knew how to treat you. He knew you so well, it was easy for him. He remembered every small detail. He listened when you needed it. And that’s probably how you fell in love with him. With this giant heart, that is now beating next to you. The feeling was so overwhelming, tears began to flow in your eyes. To avoid waking your lover up, you gently left the bed, to join the living room. You couldn’t sleep anyway, and overthinking wouldn’t help you. 

You sat in the armchair next to the floor-to-ceiling window. The entire city was depicted in front of you, and you let the tears run down your cheeks. You weren’t sad. You just felt way too lucky for someone who certainly does not deserve that much love. He treated you so well, loved you so much, he learned how to love properly through past experiences. And you’re so thankful for that. Thankful for how life puts your paths the same way so you can learn together what true love means. You truly cannot imagine what your life would look like without him. Just thinking about it makes you sob even harder. 

“Baby?” You hear his sleepy voice, appearing in the room.”What’s wrong, hun ?” He said, approaching you. “Nothing. couldn’t sleep.” You say, fastly drying your tears. “And that’s why my pretty girl is crying ?” You knew you couldn’t lie to him, but you tried. You sigh and cross his sight to see how worried he was. “You should go back to sleep, love. You have a big day tomorrow.” You try to avoid the conversation. Immediately after you have risen, he grabs you between his arms to hold you against him. “ I won’t. Not as long as you are sad.” He says. He puts a kiss on the top of your head, pats your hair. “I’ll wait till you’re ready to tell me about everything that makes you feel bad.” That makes your heart burst, and your tears start to run down again. 

“It’s just that, I love you so much.” You say against his bare chest. “ Wait ? You’re crying because you love me ?” You could hear the surprise in his voice. Hearing that from him, sounded so ridiculous you wanted to bury your face in his skin. “Yeah ?” you admit. “I feel so loved, sometimes I feel like I don’t give you a quarter of what you give me. I would love you even more, make you even hap…” “Hey. No, stop. Hear me out.” he says, lifting your head up to catch your eyes. “You love me more than anyone has ever loved me. And I couldn’t be happier than I am with you, baby. I have everything, now that I have you.” He says with the most endearing voice ever. 

“Are you, for real ?” You can’t help but ask; It was stronger than you, you wanted to be sure that he was perfectly happy with you. “ I am, y/n. I’ll always be for as long as you stay with me.” He strengthens his embrace around you, his warmth starting to ease your mood. “ I’ll always be by your side, Yunho, as long as you want me to be.” You add, putting a slight kiss on his shoulder. 

“You are absolutely perfect. With you, there’s no morning where I feel like waking up next to a stranger. I never feel alone, because I carry your love with me every day. You’re always somewhere in my mind.” You look at him, while he is opening about his feelings. He radiates something you can’t explain. His traits are highlighted by the shining light of the moon. From your point of view, he looked like a Greek statue. From the slight bounce of his cheek, to the straightness of his jaw, he was absolutely perfect. “ Everything seems so easy, so natural with you. It’s like we were meant to be. Like you were made for me. Perfect, smart, beautiful and so easy to love.” His words radiate directly to your soul, erasing every bit of worries you had. 

“I want you to promise me something.” You ask, nesting your head in his neck. “ Whatever you want, Baby.” His words were so fast, but so full of meaning. “I want you to tell me if one day you don’t feel well, if you feel that I’m not giving you enough, if things change between us.” You don’t think it’d ever change, cause your love for him was endless, but you just wanted to be sure. “I promise.” A sigh of relief escapes from your chest to his answer. 

“You know that I love you endlessly, right ?” You say, a hand on his heart. “ I want to know what eternity sounds like with you. I want to grow old by your side, Yunho. And sometimes it scares me.” Late night talks always are the best for confession, but you could never have imagined that this insomnia, that night, would lead you to open your heart so much. “You don’t have to be scared. Everything we’ll be fine. Just fine. We’re together now. You won’t have to fight anymore, no more goodbyes.” he whispers. “ You’re the love of my life, y/n. I know that for sure.” 

You pressed a kiss on his lips as if you wanted to lock those words in a significant act. “I’m thankful.” You mutter. “ For what ?” 

“For every past experience. For every mistake that has led us to each other.” You admit and you felt it, deeply in your heart. Every little step, shaped you both to be the best version of yourselves for the other one. “You’re right. We should be thankful to have found each other again, after all those messes.” He confirmed, lost in his mind. “What are you thinking about ?” You call him, putting a hand on his jaw. “I was thinking of the perfect wife you would make.” And it makes your heart go wild. “ You want to marry me ?” All the surprise could be heard in your voice. “One day, yeah for sure.” He says, a huge smile on his face, before it transforms into a giant yawn. “ We should go back to sleep now.” You say, in a little laugh. 

He nodded and you took his hand to go back to the room. You both took back your places under the sheets and he surrounded you with his arms, once again. A hand pats your hair, and the other one, draws circles in your back. “Sleep well my love. And don”t worry about us anymore. We’re meant to be forever.” Just like that, reassured and full of his love, you fell asleep. 

I really hope you appreciated it, do not hesitate to reblog or to leave a note i’d love to read all about your thoughts. ✿

[inconmess]

I've been building up this post for quite a while so I think everything in this post is kinda out of order and looks like a bit of a big word vomit... So sorry in advance. Also since it is kinda longer than I realise, I am putting it under the cut. And I am open to any discussion.

(Personally think I may have gotten a few things wrong and if so, please correct me?)

I think the thing about Orym and grief is... A part of him has never let himself grieve his loss properly. He has accepted that they are dead and will never come back, yes. He makes it a point to live up to them everyday, yes. But acceptance is not the same as grief, it is a part of it but not the same.

And this was an interesting discussion I was having with my friends and I feel that it strikes so true here, is the fact that you remember the worst moments of your life more vividly than the happiest moments because in your happy moments, you don't question what happened to you as much as you question your worst moments in life.

And Orym has lived with that question for six years. Now, the same could be said to Ashton and Imogen and Fearne and the rest of the Bells Hells really but as pointed out in this post by @caeslxys. (a really good pot btw) Even though the others have had their questions as to why a particular bad incident happened, Orym has had the shortest time to actually cope with it while for the others, it has been years at this point and maybe they have sort of come to peace with most of their shit before it came back to hit them in their face. And for some, it just hit them recently.

And for Orym the question of "Why?" resurfaces again and again the more he seeks out answers and when he does get the answer... I don't think anyone would really love to learn that the two most important people in their lives were dead because "it was just collateral damage. They didn't really have to die but they did." Not when you were having a happy, peaceful life. They signed up for this, yes. But it is also not fair to have your whole life cut short just because a big shot wants to test a theory.

And I am not trying to say that Orym bringing up his losses every time they have a discussion about the Vanguard is right or wrong because he has every right to and may be wrong at the same time because he is biased. Because at this point, he is very biased.

Apart from what I mentioned above, Orym watched Otohan kill his husband and father. He fought Otohan again and this time lost his life, Fearne and Laudna. He fights Otohan again and nearly loses Keyleth. Fights Otohan again a fourth time and knows that there would've been more losses if FCG hadn't sacrificed themselves. Not to forget Otohan killing Eshteross, something I think Orym internally blames himself for because she read his mind for the information. And even if Otohan is now dead, the loss stays.

I also think that seeing Will when he died had more of a personal impact than he realised because I know while seeing the dead person can sometimes bring some comfort, at the same time, when you are trying to live up to them, trying to answer questions that are just beyond you when you really haven't had the chance to completely grieve and accept, the grief possibly just hits you more.

SO while the Hells have had their personal losses with the Vanguard and Otohan, I think Orym has had the longest beef with the group among them all. He didn't know about the Vanguard 6 years ago, yes. He discovered their name along with the rest of the Hells. But loss wise, Orym was the first of the lot to suffer due to the Vanguard.

This is not me trying to put an exact scale or measurement of the loss cuz it is intangible and stuff. But he's been dealing with it for 6 years. Maybe not for harbouring revenge, but the resentment hasn't completely gone but rather festered the more he seeked answers. So he is going to be extra jaded.

But not to forget the fact that up until Bordor, he did try to see the Vanguard's point too, still kinda does (the locket he took from a Vanguard member as a reminder) but I think by the time of Bordor's betrayal, he's had too many losses with the Vanguard to actually care of their point of view because all he's seen of their group is innocent people getting killed or almost killed for no reason at all.

Bordor's beef as a person from the Vanguard had been against Laudna, Orym and Ashton but he still nearly killed Prism and would've probably marked it off as collateral if she'd died. Dropping off the locket with Bordor doesn't mean that he left all his empathy but at the same time, like he mentions, they are at war. And war doesn't really discriminate amongst people. It just takes.

Like he said to Imogen, I think he still tries to believe the Vanguard can have some people who are good and not all of them are evil but all he's know from the Vanguard at this point is loss and Liliana's blind faith towards Ludinus or Predathos doesn't help.

So back to the recent episode.

Do I think that it is wrong for Orym to bring up to Liliana about his dead family as an answer to her response. No. Do I think it was a wrong time to bring it up? Maybe. Because Liliana was not being confrontational but Orym was turning confrontational the more the discussion happened.

But the thing about Orym saying it to her face is that... It is one thing to know that there have been deaths and even if Liliana didn't directly cause it, she was a part of the group that did and brush it off as collateral damage. And no one does a census or survey post the "collateral damage" on how it affects the other person because now, they have what they want to there is no use to go back there.

And Orym is kinda like that mirror which is like... "SO you had a loss because of the gods and now are going around leaving collateral damage you want to fix stuff? Guess what? Your collateral damage was my life that you just uprooted just like the gods/god people did yours, so are you really any different from the people you hate and the change you want to bring about?" (which is kinda the parallel between Orym and Bordor I find really interesting because this is a cycle that is never ending at the end of the day)

And did Orym need that outlet? Hells yeah. GIVE THAT MAN A HUG!

[tgmsunmontue]

Upon which our souls touch 4/?

Hangster Fantasy!AU

SUMMARY

Tradition and the stories have been the same for thousands of years. Until Bradley and Jake came along and broke all the rules without ever speaking a word to one another...

PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE

(Map o f the world in my head can by found here...)

PART FOUR

                “What do you mean they all glowed?”

                The other orc blinks at him and Bradley guesses it is a silly question, and also incredibly rude, to repeat it back like that, as if he will not take his word for it, or was not listening closely enough when he was speaking. He wants his mother back, she always eases social interactions, and he feels like he’s floundering. Hopes that Jake does not automatically assume the worst of him.

                “They all glowed, I didn’t want to touch any of them. Did not want to choose… dragon-kind choose us, we do not take our pick of them.”

                Bradley hums under his breath, because at least they agree on that much.

                “It was very bright, like when Sol and Ril are both high. Too bright to see anything.”

                “Your eyes, are they well?” Bradley asks, stopping from shifting wood to turn and look at Jake with actual care. Of course he wants to start his travels, but his mother hasn’t given him a meeting point other than right here, so he must await her return at the very least. Complete the ward. And learn more of Jake’s story he supposes. And he can heal and care, it is his gift even if it may not be his calling. He reaches out with his senses and his lip twitches at the unfamiliarity, however there isn’t anything bad that he can sense.

                “They do not seem affected. It was several nights ago now.”

                “Ah.” They work in silence for a few moments. “Did someone… suggest you come to me?”

                There is silence then, not even the sound of wood being shifted, and he turns to look again. For the first time Jake looks uncomfortable and Bradley doesn’t know if it’s something he has said, or whether it is something else.

                “I heard them talking about you, about sending someone to… talk with you.”

                “Talk.” The tight pull of Jake’s lips around his lower tusks tell Bradley’s all he needs to know. Great. Just great. “Surely you cannot be the first since me to enter the cavern. There must be others between us who have been successful.”

                The idea that something is wrong is building and Jake is looking lost and Bradley can remember his early days, feeling untethered to all tradition and custom, suddenly even more of an outsider and he feels a sudden pang of sympathy for the younger orc.

                “How many days until they get here do you think?”

                “At least another two or three. They were not in a hurry.”

                Bradley nods sharply, tosses the last pieces of wood and turns toward his house, waves his hand to let Jake go first and gets an aggravated twitch in response, although Jake does step toward his dwelling. Solen’s sake, he’s done or said something wrong again, but he has no idea what.

…            …            …

                Jake wouldn’t trust a stranger at his back either, but he doesn’t need to be so mocking about it, waving Jake ahead like he needs to be directed toward the door. Obviously they cannot move abreast of each other through the entrance, but he still tries to not let it bother him. Despite setting out to seek Bradley Jake cannot believe his luck. His problem of not having soul-bonded with a dragon-kind egg has not been solved, but he has met both the famous Carole Brad-Shaw and her more infamous progeny, Bradley. He wonders if he’s aware that his name means doubly-broad, or whether it’s simply coincidence that he is perhaps the broadest orc Jake has ever laid eyes on. And Jake doesn’t consider himself small, he is much more muscular than Bradley, but Bradley is tall, and broad, musculature leaner. He moves with smooth grace. He is a striking individual, unusual with his hair the color of leaves in the quarter-twist, skin a dark shade of green with hints of the same red and Jake wonders if it’s hair or skin. Whether he’d be warm to the touch.

                Not that he thinks he will ever be permitted to touch, not with the way Bradley looks at him like Jake has already done something wrong before he’s opened his mouth. He will continue trying to be friendly and helpful, make Bradley Brad-Shaw like him. Jake is determined, everyone tells him so. This is no different.

                “I’m going to finish laying the wards.”

                “What are you laying wards for?”

                Bradley blinks at him slowly, as if the question has thrown him off his course.

                “Protection. Mainly.”

                “Do you need help?���

                “No,” Bradley insists, like Jake has somehow insulted him and Jake worries his lip over a tusk and just tries to stay out of the way, decides maybe stepping outside to give him some privacy and space will help. The ward layers in his clan like to be left alone, so that is what he will do.

…            …            …

                He takes time to re-center himself and finishes layering the protection wards, feels both calmer and more tired when he’s done, but he can feel that they are solid. More time has passed than he thought, and he can hear voices outside, but there is no tickling of any of his senses so it must be his mother already returned. He relaxes, because her presence always has a calming effect. He heads outside and he can see Jake and his mother talking, and he has to push down the irrational surge of jealousy. His mother talks to everyone, Jake is not special in any way having her attention.

                As he comes closer he can hear more of what they are saying and he tries not to let his alarm show on his face. His mother promising to travel somewhere with a message, but also promising that Jake may travel with them. Jake looks happy and pleased by the prospect, and Bradley must remind himself that Jake has only just reached maturity. Clearly the idea of travelling to other lands excites him, he’s peppering Carole with questions, which she’s answering with patient delight. Bradley has heard most of her stories before, wants to ask and hear about his father but also doesn’t want to share that with anyone else.

                He might have to.

PART FIVE

[xiangqiankua]

My thoughts after doing a few TOCFL practice tests:

- I really really need to practice reading for the gist and not getting hung up on unknown words. I'm sure the whole point of throwing in phrases and characters that weren't on the word list is to weed out test takers who can't manage to pick up on overall context. Unfortunately I am used to looking up every damn thing when reading for leisure. So I've selected a library book of a suitable level to force myself to read without pausing- the first attempt went alright except when I cracked and had to look up 櫺 líng because it was such a good shape, it means latticework on a window. - Unsurprisingly, I'm not that great at questions on unfamiliar topics for which I don't know the vocab (because they're of no interest to me and I never bothered to learn it). I understand the logic of testing people who might be getting this certificate for work on topics that might happen on the job. But why can't we slide in some of my special interests I've listened to hours of podcast on, huh? (I decided to find a tv series to watch in order to diversify.) - The most troublesome part of "Mandarin proficiency test" is not so much my Mandarin proficiency as the "test" part. In the listening section I often understand perfectly what 小美's mother asked her to do to prepare for the guests in the afternoon, or the long list of critical steps in booking a ticket for XYZ. Hell if I remember the details by the time the multiple choice question rolls around. I need to practice taking notes, and also remembering to actually look at the choices on the answer sheet beforehand. - Sometimes I am thinking of the correct answer, and somehow write down a totally different one?? - I start out with some confidence and energy and then deflate (or panic) somewhere around question 30. I've timed myself on the reading and done the listening without any pause or repeat to try and simulate authentic levels of anxiety (success, unfortunately), and when I do them both together it's exhausting. I don't know if it's late in the game to try and build stamina, but I might as well try. - Sometimes I get things wrong not because I misunderstood the material but because I had my own interpretation of what exactly the question was asking, which I don't think I can do much about. - When I second guess myself and write down a row of potential answers, the first one is almost always correct. - My language school teachers definitely lifted some of their final exam questions directly from these.

I asked a Japanese acquaintance today how the test was when she'd taken it and she said she passed B2 (TOCFL 4) a year ago, so I ought to be fine because her level is currently slightly below mine, but Japanese native speakers have a significant edge on the reading so this isn't entirely reassuring.On the bright side, nothing too serious is riding on this at the moment, at worst I disappoint myself terribly and just take it again later. But success would be nice! I really hope the practice tests are of similar or higher difficulty to the actual exam, not significantly easier.

[tibby]

hey tibby, i got two questions about saw for you. firstly, when do you think the saw movies take place? like what specific year/s? i know theres a few writing errors when it comes to years in the franchise (the tag on jigsaw’s foot at the autopsy, for example) so i’m just trying to see what would make sense despite these errors.

also. what would the spiral killers role be in Jigsaw the family sitcom (more important than the other question)

i am a firm "saw the first movie takes place in 2004" believer. yeah yeah the idea of it happening the day before 9/11 is funny but it doesn't work with the few established dates we do have (gideon night takes place in late october of 2006, hoffman's sister is murdered in 1997 and baxter is released from prison after five years which makes hoffman's revenge kill and recruitment from john in 2002 at the EARLIEST, trying to include a coherent timeline of events by including jigsaw is impossible but fwiw logan was in the iraq war. i think. i don't remember the movie). also the idea that amanda and john manually set up the phone to that date just to fuck with them is also very funny to me. and my research suggests that the motorola used was released in q4 of 2001, which means it came out in october at the earliest. but nothing is conclusive and i respect all walks of life etc etc.

generally though from the time amanda is recruited (april 2004, because i do believe bathroom trap takes place in september regardless of the year and lawrence mentions being interviewed by police five months prior) through to the end of the final chapter (late 2006) it's like a 2.5 year time frame. nerve gas house takes place at least a year after bathroom trap, gideon night is six months after nerve gas house, and the events of v/vi/vii shortly follow. again, no canon confirmation, but given strahm's throat is still bandaged in v we can assume his tracheotomy wasn't that long ago and he dies like the day after being discharged from the hospital. and then hoffman's vi/vii clownery is like two nights back to back. so that's that. early to mid 2000s over a three year time period.

unfortunately the spiral killers don't really play a big role in jigsaw the sitcom simply because it takes place like 15-20 years later. which is a tragedy because i think jigsaw fanboy william emmerson/schenk having the worst "don't meet your heroes" experience of all time only to not learn from it is hilarious to me. i did vaguely conceptualise an episode where he starts his silly little copycat killings and they have to come out of retirement to trap his ass because oh now we gotta be responsible for this clown. and william really does think it's an honour that a bunch of middle aged retired murderers have reunited just to torture him.

my beloved dizzy did write a fic about this concept (not sitcom nonsense but adam/amanda/hoffman live and william loves team maim and kill). unfortunately my concept of retired-but-still-completely-off-their-rockers hoffstrahm (they're NOT dating and they're absolutely NOT married and strahm is still trying to prove hoffman is guilty and hoffman still plans on killing him one day but they do live together and have weird gay sex and are trying to figure out how to get married for tax benefits without actually getting married) having a honey where IS my supersuit moment from the incredibles about the glass coffin didn't make the cut. but we can imagine it <3

they also all try to impart "queer elder wisdom" (see: absolutely horrendous dating tips) onto william to help him with zeke. unfortunately he takes their word as gospel. hence the whole "torturing you and sending you body parts" stage of the flirting process. it's dawning on me that this message is completely incomprehensible i'm sorry. missed saying absolute nonsense about these movies to a public audience.

[linddzz]

Would you have any advice for someone who wants to do what you do professionally? I graduated from undergrad two years ago, but I've been clawing uselessly at the outside of the conservation profession trying to get an entry level job or a grad school position and at this point I'm pretty demoralized, since I want to be out in the field doing things and helping.

Idk if it's a great answer but patience and constantly throwing yourself out there as much as you're able. Patience is my main advice tbh. I went into the aquarium field and that was a few years working at just a hobby shop while being a volunteer aquarist at a public aquarium, and people who have been around my blog long enough might even remember my demoralized posts as I tried to get a job. More and more internships are paid but they're still an unfortunately big part of the field, and it's not uncommon for people to go from internship to internship trying to get that foot in the door.

Coral conservation is a growing field but comes with the huge downside of internships being even MORE expensive travel wise, but necessary for the hands on experience. Most of the people I've met doing more field work heavy stuff have a masters degree so if you want more field work that'll have to be the way to go most likely.

My path was coral aquarium care, which is getting more and more overlap between captive coral stuff and the field stuff (hence me being here).

Mine went like:

-Undergrad, get interested in aquaria and cephalopods (my gateway drug into Weird Invertebrates), was bad at sitting for academia stuff so wanted to avoid that. Had more interest in animal behavior at the time but now most of my job is microbiology and chemistry, which were my worst subjects in college, go figure.

-work at a saltwater hobby store as a filler job that's still enough within my field that i can put it in my resume. Actually learned a lot of husbandry stuff and got into corals this way. A lot of coral aquarists started in a hobby store, it makes you have to get real good at learning to troubleshoot common aquarium problems.

-intern/volunteer part time at a public aquarium while working at the shop. Keep showing up, ask a lot of questions, kept applying. Curator eventually knew they didn't have a spot for me but put in a word for me at the job I'm in now, and we're still friends!

-Got my current job at age 27 shortly after I had a huge crisis about wtf I was doing in life, after a few years got established enough to go on the first field work trip, then a few years later got to join this one at 34. I know people who got into the field later and earlier than me, getting past the "I should be at X point by this age" is the greatest advice I can think of for life in general.

If you want to go the aquarium route and get field work you want to aim for a coastal aquarium or an aquarium partnered with SECORE (a specifically coral propagation organization). BUT.

BUT. this is where the patience comes in. Don't try to aim for the perfect place at the start. Go for what's available, have a goal in mind for where to go once you've gained experience. A bonus of working in aquariums is that they're so expensive to run that you don't really get "roadside aquarium" like you do in zoos. Most will get you the experience needed to move up to a place that fits what you like more, as long as you're ok with needing to move. Smaller facilities are in a way better because you're likely doing way more than just prepping food for the senior keepers.

Also I've noticed a lot of people including me in the field (both academia and aquarium) had a goal or interest in mind but stayed open to other stuff. Aim a general direction but not at a specific target ya feel me?

And if there isn't anything available, honestly those hobby shops are good for a paycheck that's in the general vicinity of marine stuff. It's not bad on a resume just to show you kept aimed in the field while looking for stuff.

[thewholedamnboulangerie]

I was tagged by @bisexualbard-writes my beloved to post 5 things I like about myself!!! Thank youuuuuu ☀️🦦💖🪐🥰

I have a pretty good sense of direction, and oh my god when I was younger I did NOT appreciate this enough. I don't have the innate sense of where north is that some people do, but (particularly if I'm travelling in right angles, not in curved lines) I can usually keep track of the general direction I'm going in with a lot of accuracy, and I can read maps super easily and remember the exact routes I've taken before, provided they aren't too complicated!! It is a vvv useful skill and I LOVE it.

I am very good at picking up foreign languages! Comparatively speaking I haven't made much progress with Thai, given that I've been semi-immersed in it for close to a year and a half by now, but that's mainly because I've just been learning via osmosis rather than putting any actual effort in whatsoever. Still, I can usually understand any really simple sentences without much trouble and pick out at least a few words of the more complex ones when I'm watching something in Thai now, so that's something!! (Also, my duolingo streak is currently at 951 days!)

I am quite judicious, just as a general rule (...with the notable exception of What Time To Go To Bed). As in: I don't tend to act rashly, or speak tactlessly, but for the most part I'm also fairly good at steering clear of the level of caution that just saps joy and stirs up anxiety rather than actually being beneficial. This is not to say that I always make sensible decisions - far from it! I am always making objectively silly decisions! But since my objectively silly decisions tend to be for the purposes of indulging in the delights, as long as they fulfil that goal and don't cause any collateral damage that's too insane, I'm usually happy to consider them subjectively Correct decisions (with - and I really and truly CANNOT stress this enough - the exception of absolutely any decision related to sleeping habits 💀).

I am SO good at platonically matchmaking my friends!! I love to introduce my friends to each other, or throw them into groupchats together, or (on one memorable occasion) drag the blorbos from my tumblr dashboard AND the blorbos from my workplace to the theatre together! And then watch as they all instantly imprint on each other like lil ducklings!!! This has happened so many times and it is my favourite thing every single time! (And of course, the fact that my own taste in friends is so elite is almost certainly a contributory factor to how well they always get along. All of you are so so good and lovely! ❤️)

I am very good at directing my gaze. By which I mean several things!! First of all: I AM ALWAYS PERCEIVING. When it comes to things I care about and enjoy, I am noticing details! I am connecting dots! I am picking up on hidden meanings! I am spotting clues and interpreting them! I am reading your tags with fluency and delight even though you censored them and miscounted the asterisks! I am remembering that thing you said five months ago and bringing it up again at the funniest possible moment!!! My brain is Kim Theerapanyakul's murderboard and it is covered EXCLUSIVELY in all the things that are shiniest and most precious To Me and I am solving their mysteries!!! Secondly: when it comes to the worst parts of fandom culture, I am never perceiving. If there is a bad take, I will simply not see it. If I do see it, I will simply forget about it in 3 minutes flat. No cursed opinion has any power over me because I shall simply magnetically repel it thank you goodbye xoxo Most importantly: I am a very firm believer that life is always terrible and also that life is simultaneously always wonderful. Both are true at all times; it just depends where you're looking. And sometimes life inevitably forces your gaze towards the most terrible things the world has to offer, and there's no choice but to engage with them. But when given the choice, I like to think that I'm pretty good at directing my gaze towards the wonderful end of the scale. The everyday delights are my best friends and hopefully they always will be!

Tagging a few blorbos from my dashboard who I don't thiiiiiiink have been tagged in this yet: @divorcedmalewife, @fallen-robin, @youneedtolightenup, @yourrescuemission, @diamondcrystals, @thevorelock, @guntapon, @nangong-shunu

[onyxsnake23]

Oh I don’t think I could actually tell you the exact moment that I realised we were done. It wasn’t made up of a single moment any more than a person is made up of a single interest, it felt more like a thousand thousand tiny things that cascaded into an avalanche under which the relationship got buried. No headstone, just a casualty of the climb. Maybe one day somewhere in the future what remains of us together will be dug up and discovered by some impartial observer and they’ll realise that we were never going to work out “long term”. Whatever that means.

I imagine that at some point in the cold future I’ll reflect on what happened, much as I am doing as I sit here now and wonder why I didn’t try harder to save us. Instead I’ll ache for the cold, detached feeling I was once so willing and able to hide behind, nothing is quite as easy as it used to be it seems.

I sit here, 20 something years old and think back on the last few years, wondering to myself in my loneliest moments “how will I ever survive a lifetime of this? of remembering people for far longer than I have ever known them? And in these moments I feel like I’m shattering into shards of longing and regret and lust and rage. Forever waiting, I suspect, for someone to pick up my pieces and tell me that I am worthy of living, that I am worthy of love and to know in that moment that they meant every word. Much as you once did. But it does no good to dwell on such things, there are people to fuck and music to listen to in the meantime.

I remember when we each bought a bible and told each other that we would read them and that we’d annotate the bits we found hilarious and send them to each other. We never did of course it was just another promise made, another for the pile of things that slowly became our relationship and I think of you every time I see that bible on my shelf. Even though I don’t believe a word of what it preaches it doesn’t seem to matter when it connects me to you through time like that. The barrier of passing time dissolves and I’m sat in my bedroom in 2020 texting you that the bible arrived with butterflies in my stomach waiting on your response.

I read a little while ago that the face you have in your current life is the face of the person you loved most in your previous life. When I look at myself in the mirror I often wonder what kind of person could love someone like me, with all my failures of character and my blatant self loathing that seems to seep into every facet of my life and slowly degrade each aspect of it like the rot that eats away at the house. But then I eat something and drink some water and go outside in the sun and am reminded that I am young and learning to live. Maybe I am not an irredeemable monster with an evil heart, maybe I just haven’t learned to love myself yet, to see my positive aspects, perhaps one day I’ll see myself in a mirror and say to myself “hey, you did great, everything will be okay”. I desperately hope that one day I will be that person and my hope extends to you too.

What’s really crazy about that particular stretch of my life is that most of the time I am convinced I was in love with myself and the moment I was in and not the girl. I was doing well at my first job, finally getting attention from girls, had money, discovering new music all the time, things were great. Kind of a clash with the supposed “national spirit” at the time, Covid 19 was fucking England hard at this point. I didn’t care, I was in a bubble of drinking and sex and music and thinking I might be falling in love with a girl while I was in the middle of sex with a girl I had just met at a party I was invited to last minute by a girl I worked with who also had a thing for me. I felt incredible.

Tell me you love me and watch it break me. Tell me anyway and build me anew from the broken pieces of me that are left behind, with any luck you’ll leave the worst parts of me shattered on the floor.

What’s really maddening about being alive so far is that for all the methods of communication mankind has devised over the last however many decades and centuries, there is no way to communicate all of yourself to another person.

You can’t just open yourself up and say this is what I am, take your time and learn me so that one day you might appreciate the full picture.

You just share bits and pieces of yourself with countless people over your life but in the end I don’t think you can ever truly know a person.

In fact I don’t even think it will be possible to truly know yourself by the end of your life let alone in time to actually make use of this knowledge.

Inside you are infinite, endlessly complicated and flawed, ruined in so many moments by so many things and yet still moving forward, running headlong toward whatever it is you think will finally let you say “ I understand myself now”.

I don’t know anything for certain. My brain just tries to convince me every day that understanding isn’t worth striving for.

The true battle, my true battle, is to continue onward and carry the weight of my infinite self into a future that might just be better than what has come before. To be a true warrior, to fight a battle that’s worthwhile, win or lose.

What do I do with all this leftover knowledge I have of you? When I see something I know would make you laugh, or make you excited for the future? Do I just hold onto it? Let it rest in my head with all the other things I’ve learned but no longer have use for? I wonder if I’ll forget eventually. Part of me hopes I will, but the braver part of me hopes that I am strong enough to carry it with me, to remember you even though you aren’t mine anymore. I hope you’re doing well in your new life but I hope that I never hear a word about it.

Diane said that there are people in your life that help you become the person you end up being and that you can be grateful for them, even if they were never meant to be in your life forever. I like that sentiment, it’s comforting.

That show has saved me a few times now.

I miss people when they leave. I often wonder what they’re up to, hopefully they aren’t as confused as I am about things, it’d be nice to if someone in this world had some clear idea of what they are doing. Even if I doubt it’ll ever be me.

No love, of anything, however brief is a waste.

Do anything that makes life a little more bearable, so long as you aren’t harming someone else in the process.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad for you to have forgotten something and left it in my life so that when you remember and come back to claim it, you look around and realise that this might not be so bad a place to live after all, maybe we were just twenty back then.

I don’t know, maybe it would just be nice to be remembered fondly by someone, a warm thought instead of a bitter memory.

You know sometimes when I feel shitty about myself I pretend i’m someone else, someone confident and bold and unashamed of being themselves. It helps a lot, makes things way fucking easier to deal with sometimes.

What I hate most about myself is my ability to convince myself of anything. It has led me to some of the best decisions I have ever made, it’s made me more confident than I have ever been. It is the sole reason that I can talk myself out of being sad and more often than not it is what makes me sad in the first place. My mind is an unreliable narrator and a perfectly objective judge of every situation, discerning when it is doing which thing is where my trouble usually begins.

There is very little left of me that I recognise.

I get the feeling that everything in life is a celebration of living.

[ladyintree]

it takes her a moment to understand the relevancy,   mostly because she wouldn’t expect mikayla to be so spiteful.    she’s not sure why,   she knows her better than that —-  but even as taissa has treated her poorly for years,   she still didn’t expect her to go out of her way to do something like that,   as if she’s trying to get back at her,   really replacing her.   maybe it’s not,   maybe tai is reading too far into it,   but her eyes narrow in disgust and annoyance anyway,   remembering the time she’d promised to take her to a beach sometime when they had the ability to do so.   nights spent at the lake with her in the wilderness were some of the few nights she found any kind of peace,   it had become their place in some way,  that’s why she knew she had to make good on her promise once they were free  —-   but she didn’t.   someone else did.   someone else made the memories with mikayla that should have been tai’s,   to no one’s fault but her own,   no matter how annoyed she is with mikayla for the choice.   ❝  sounds miserable.   i can’t imagine walking down the aisle in sand was easy,  ❞    she notes,   attempting to keep her voice nonchalant,   but the annoyance still bleeds through,   and her refusal to look her way again makes it even more obvious.    

she lets out a small scoff,   but not at mikayla’s expense;   she knows she deserves it,   but as brutal as this conversation has been,   she’s actually surprised that mikayla didn’t give it to her so much worse.   maybe she would have,   had they reunited years ago —- but 25 years is a long time.  they’ve grown up,   they’ve moved on —-  even if they haven’t necessarily found peace in that.   ❝ you seem to have managed that.  i imagine you’ve made your own mark on that company, though.  ❞    because she imagines that she’s not solely relying on her help now.  small talk feels strange,   but mostly,   tai’s just desperate to hear a little more about her mikayla,   even if it’s just a simple ‘yeah.’  

she frowns,  because she’s spent years sick about what might happen to nat —  every time she picked her up from travis’s,   every time she drove her to rehab,   every time nat called when tai expected the worst,   even though nat had never asked for anything.   tai was always so scared of another person she loves ending up there  —-     she wonders now if mikayla knows that she brushed off nat’s call from weeks ago while she was in jail.  but tai doesn't believe there was a good alternative solution,  even still,  because she still had to look out for herself,   her family,   everything that was already falling apart.   ❝  we’re not going to let that happen, ❞    she says,  repeating her words from earlier in the night.    ❝  to any of us.  ❞    she lets out a breath,   turning to look back at mikayla again and offering a small nod.   to her, either.   she wasn't there for her before,   but she wants to be there now,   even if she’s not good at saying it and that her past actions haven't proved anything.   there’s a part of her that wants to ask mikayla what it was really like,   but despite letting so much slip,   she knows better than to go there, so she tries to let it go,   ignoring the way curiosity eats at her.   

tai leans back and rolls her eyes.   ❝  nat said she’s helping.   sort of,  ❞   she adds with a scowl,   clearly not buying it.  ❝  but ‘help’ from misty hardly ever means anything good.  ❞   what she’s learned about her past conversations with mikayla seems proof of that,   still bothered by whatever she’s been telling mikayla about her,    because how could she possibly know the facts?    though, it’s not like the facts are any better for mikayla to hear, either.   ❝  where do you stand on all this,  anyway?   ❞    she asks after a moment,  suddenly brought back to a time when mikayla’s opinion mattered more to her than anything,   and she wants to hear it now.    ❝  you really think this asshole blackmailing us has anything to do with travis?   or did he  .  .  .   ❞    she trails off,   not wanting to finish,   her eyes glancing back to mikayla with a genuine desire for her input.  

mikayla doesn't even bother trying to hide the snort of disbelief, because of all the things they missed out on with each other the last twenty years, she can't imagine her proposal is at the top of their priorities— or maybe it is, because even now, especially now, there are moments when all she can think about is how it should have been her. not that she'd been thinking about marriage at nineteen, but they never even got the opportunity to consider it, to get that far. “ well, if that's what you care about— it was a beach wedding. ” at the time of planning, it seemed like a good idea, a way to prove to herself that she moved on, but it proved to be a mistake when the day finally came, because all she could think about was tai's promise to her that she'd take her to one. she's almost tempted to say that, to tell her how she regretted it, because she could only think about them on the lakeside, but of course she can't admit that to anyone, not when she's done her best to deny it to herself the last seven years.

“ not as much as i should've. i still needed her to help me. ” and despite the twenty-five years she went without seeing her mother, she didn't have much to say to her at all— if she had, she would have gone to her sooner, before high school even ended. “ you got it worse than she did, i think. ” because the betrayal felt different; with her mother, there was no memory of her ever loving mikayla, no relationship to mourn, but with tai, losing her felt like she lost a part of herself, so the anger toward her is different, more intense— because behind all that anger and resentment is still love, which makes it hurt worse than anything.

that's true, because even on the plane ride home, mikayla knew everyone would be insufferable, wanting to know the truth about what happened— but it became so much worse after killing her father, everyone becoming so much more insistent on knowing what happened, what made her snap. mikayla doesn't even want to imagine how everyone would react if they actually knew the truth, if they finally had reason to back up all the claims they've made about her. it shouldn't matter, because she knows the truth, knows that what she did when she got back had nothing to do with the person she had to be out there, but it still bothers her anyway. “ just more reason to make sure nat doesn't do anything stupid. because if you think people suck out here, they're worse in there. ”

the difference between now and back then is that, this time, mikayla doesn't expect tai to reach out to her— not unless something happens. she knows that there's no reason for her to otherwise, that everything they used to have is gone, so she tells herself it won't hurt, not hearing from her. but deep down, she knows she'll hope that every notification is her, that she'll have to deal with the crushing disappointment all over again, no matter how many times she tells herself she won't. “ probably wouldn't have been a bad idea to stake her out, too, ” she sighs, mostly kidding, because that sounds like a nightmare, especially if they were caught. “ but i'm sure she knows what we all fucking drive, somehow. ”

[iwadori]

So I'm reading your works and I love them !! I was thinking of requesting some kind of drabble or whatever you like, about a female reader who has thick thighs and is somewhat plump and is in love with Tsukishima but he makes a comment about the food and she feels bad and when she meets Bokuto in the boot camp Bokuto is too cute and attentive to her asking for her number and a date. If you don't feel comfortable with this, just ignore it and good luck with your blog. Sorry my english is bad<3

When they make you insecure PT 5 (tsukishima,bokuto)

Part One Part Two  Part Three Part Four  Part Five Part 6

Word Count: 2.6K

Genre: Angst to Fluff

masterlist

Tsukishima

You and Tsukishima have been dating in your first year (as you both went to the same middle school together.)

You were in love with Tsukishima, you always have been to be honest, but once you became officially boyfriend and girlfriend your feelings amplified.

But recently, Tsukishima hasn’t been so nice.  

“Y/N we’re going on another training camp at Nekoma” Hinata exclaimed running up to you, as you leaning against Tsukishima “and you get to come too this time!”

You recently became the new trainee manager as the third-year manager, Kikyoko, is going to graduate. Tsukishima acted as if you being around all the time in practice was the worst thing in the world, but Yamagucchi always assured you that ‘Tsukki’ was just joking.

“Oh well that’s fun...” you say entertaining Hinata’s excitement. You were kind of excited to go to the training camp too, as it was in Tokyo after all. You were always a big fan of volleyball as your dad used to play for the national team and you were planning to play on the girls team this year but you felt that you didn’t have the body for it (which was obviously not true.)

Hinata kept on rambling on before Tsukishima insulted him. “Gosh Kei, you don’t have to be so rude.” you complained, he slightly nudged you off of him and put on his headphones showing you that he was not in a good mood.

You let the rest of the practice continue, making notes of things and basically being Kiyoko’s shadow. As it ended, you waited outside for Tsukishima to walk home with you, but one of the guys told you he left 5 minutes ago. You knew there was no point of chasing after him so you just walked on your own, making you sigh in defeat.

Tsukishima was what you would describe as hot and cold. Some days he was fine a ‘perfect gentlemen’ but other days, days like this Tsukishima was just Tsukishima.  

When you got home, you decided to watch matches of all the other schools just to get some insight. You were watching a Fukarodani V Nekoma match from a few years ago and something caught your eye, well someone did to be more specific. A beefy, bicolour haired boy who was hooting like an owl was mesmerizing to watch.

You saw that his name was Bokuto Koutarou which triggered your next actions, which were to internet stalk him. You learned that he was the captain of the team and the team’s ace and the 5th ace in the country which piqued your interest in the boy even more.

‘This is going to be an exciting training camp’ you think to yourself before going to sleep.

`Kiyoko gave you an itinerary of all the things you should bring, since you weren’t going to be joining in any of the matches you were reminded to bring things that would keep entertained.  

You get to the bus at the crack of dawn, ready to be driven to Tokyo. Hinata and Kageyama were already arguing (let’s pretend that they didn’t have to do the retakes in the test) Tanaka and Nishinoya were being loud, and the rest of the members were already asleep. You wanted to sit next to Tsukishima but when you were about to sit down, he put his carryon bag in the seat next to him.

The bus ride was around 4-5 hours, and you spent your time reading and sleeping. Daichi got the loudmouths to calm down making the bus ride more tolerable. You suffered from slight motion sickness but you powered through.

When you arrived there, you saw all the other teams and their buses too. You felt a bit overwhelmed, seeing these tall boys just crowd around an entrance way. But too your surprise, noticing your slight anxiousness, Tsukishima grabbed your hand in a hand-hold.  

The Nekoma coach, explained how the day would pan out and where each team would be residing for the week. There was a lot of commotion getting everyone settled, Hinata and Nishinoya were basically bouncing off of the wall commenting on all the people and the place and how they’re going to ‘crush the competition.’  

You could tell that when the other teams were looking at Karasuno they were all staring at Kiyoko. Inquisitive about how there wasn’t only one girl manager but there was two. As you were walking your eyes locked with Bokuto Koutarou’s making yours widen, you blush and turn your head quickly.  

What you didn’t know was, after your small interaction, Bokuto elbowed Akaashi and said “Akaaashi AKKAAASHI, did ya see that? did ya?” he was flying with happiness “That girl from Karasuno smiled at me. She’s really pretty.”

“I think she’s from Karasuno” Akaashi said “So maybe you’ll see her around”

Bokuto stared off in the direction you were walking in “Yeah, hopefully.”

The first day, everyone got settled in and then the teams went straight into games. There were two different gyms and today, in gym 1, you were watching Karasuno V Nekoma. (By the way I literally don’t remember the teams at the training camp besides Nekoma, Karasuno and Fukarodani.) The game was very back a point each team making point after point, you already knew of Nekoma’s captain, Kuroo Testurou and the setter Kenma, you’ve actually played games with Kenma online before so you were fairly acquainted with him already.

The games ended and it was now dinner time, the canteen was packed with all the boys rushing to line up for the food. You waited at the back of the line, not really caring about when you got your food. Suddenly, you felt a tap on your shoulder and you looked over to see Boktuo,  

“Hi.” he said “I’m Bok-”

“Bokuto Koutarou!” You finished “I'm a big fan..” you cringed immediately at your excitement ‘pull it together Y/N’ you scold yourself.

“Oh well hi, I’m glad you know who I am” he said “and may I ask for your name?”  

“Oh I’m Y/N L/N” you say with a slight blush “I'm the trainee manager from Karasuno.”  

“Cool! Well I hope to see you aro-” he starts  

“Y/N, I’ve been looking all over for you, I already got your food for you.” Tsukishima said pulling at your arm a bit harshly, dragging you over to a table with the Karasuno team.

“Gosh Tsukki, no need to be so harsh” you say rubbing at your wrist, he didn’t apologize and just started eating his food.  

You look down at your plate and see the small portion that Tsukki got for you. The Karasuno bunch was being loud, as they usually are, so when you whisper “Tsukki what the fuck is this” whilst nudging him in the side, he didn’t hear you (or atleast he pretended he didn’t.) You tried again but a little louder saying, “Tsukishima what the fuck is this.” you realised you said it a bit too loud as the whole Karasuno table stopped their conversations to look over at the slight commontion you caused.

“What do you mean Y/N?” he said with a slight smirk on his face.

“I mean what’s with the portion size of a bird that you gave me?” you ask getting upset “Do you really think im that big?”

“Well, you could start eating less that’s for sure.” he said earning gasps from you and some of the people sitting at the table “Y/N let's face it, you eat like a pig and you look like an elephant, me making your food portion smaller is the least I could do.”  

By now you had tears in your eyes, Tsukishima was a dick. You knew this, everybody knew this to be honest, yet you still loved him. He wasn’t like this in middle school, yes he was a bit snarky and rude (but wasn’t every middle schooler?) High school Tsukishima was like a completely different person. As much as you wanted to run away and hide, you knew you couldn’t.  

So you stood up and said “Tsukishima, I’ve spent 3 years loving and pining after you, because I thought you were this great guy, but turns out you’re a huge asshole” you start making some of the people listening in smile in laughter “Tsukishima, I’ve hated this past year dating you, you’ve been such a huge dick and I’m finally stopping you. I can’t do this anymore. I won’t.” You start making your way to exit before finally saying “Oh and by the way I’m not the pig here, you are... oh and I’m breaking up with you.” You left, hearing a few laughs and some claps behind you.

You felt relieved, like the massive cloud that’s been over your head is finally gone. You went to the gym since you knew it was empty and picked up a ball to just throw it around a bit. After a while of ‘de-stressing,’ you hear someone else enter the gym.

“Oh I didn’t know you’d be here.” said Bokuto  

“Well here I am,” you say awkwardly “I can leave if you want me too, I know this is for actual volleyball players.”

“No no it’s fine you can definitely stay, in fact do you mind setting for me?” he asks  

“Sure, of course I don’t mind” you reply, excited you get to play with someone.  You haven’t played in ages, you always begged Tsukishima to just throw a ball around with you but he never did.  

You set to Boktuo a lot, with him always asking for ‘another one’ everytime he spiked the ball. Eventually, you were tired of setting and wanted to spike. You originally was a spiker to begin with taking after your dad. Thats why you took a liking to Bokuto in the first place cause he reminded you of the joys you had when watching your father play.

Bokuto set a ball to you and you spiked it with great strength and accuracy smiling at the burning feeling you felt in your palm.  

“Woahh” Bokuto shouted going towards you in amazement “Where did you learn how to spike like that?”

“From my dad, I don’t know if you heard of him before but my dad’s name is D/N L/N...?” you say

“D/N L/N, Y/N he is my idol!” he shouted again “I want to be just like him.”

“I think you can, I see a lot of similarites in the way you both play.” you say

“Really! And you’ve seen me play before..?” he asks

“Yeah, I watched some of your games before coming here... you’re really good” you shyly admit.

“Wow.”

You and Bokuto spend the rest of your time, talking about volleyball you’re interests, things you have in common, your likes and dislikes. Talking to Bokuto was refreshing, he didn’t randomly insult you or make snide comments about your weight or your looks. He just genuinely looked happy to be there talking to you, unlike Tsukishima.  

Seeing your change in mood, Bokuto stops talking and asks “are you alright? I forgot to ask earlier, but I saw what happened in the canteen and I hope you’re okay.”  

“Yeah I’m fine, it’s just things with me and Tsukishima reached a breaking point, I guess...” you say sniffling a bit talking about it “But it’s fine now I’ve broken up with him and I feel better already.”

“So you’re saying your single...?” he asked blushing a bit

“Yeah I guess I am...” you smile blushing also.  

“Okay great...well I hope this isn’t too forward after everything happened with Tsukki and all but...” he starts “but would you like to go on a date with me?”

“Who me?” you ask as if you weren’t the only other person in the room

“No the volleyball” he responds sarcastically “Of course you Y/N.”  

“Are you sure, cause to be honest Bokuto you’re a really good-looking guy” you say making him smile widely “so I think you need someone to match your level in attractiveness” you look down and his smile drops.

“What do you mean?” he asks before realising all the stuff Tsukishima said about you “Y/N you’re beautiful, your face, your body just you.” you blush at his words “when I first saw you when you were walking past us in the entrance way the first thing I thought and said about you was “Akaashi who is that girl she’s beautiful.””  

“Really?” you ask with disbelief

“Mhm” he nods excitedly “So will you go on a date with me?”  

“I guess so...” you say a bit unsure

“HEY HEY HEY!” he exclaims “I gotta go tell akaashi!” he runs out of the gym in a hurry making you laugh, but he comes back to give you a quick unexpected kiss on the cheek making you smile.

You checked your phone for the time realising that you’ve been with Bokuto for 3 hours and you knew that everyone would be going to sleep now. As you are the manager you slept seperately from the rest of the team but before you went to your sleeping quaters you went to Karasunos.  

“Y/N where have you been? We’ve been worried about you.” asked yammagucchi  

“It’s fine yams don’t worry about it, guys” you say catching everyones attention “I just wanted to apologise to you for my outburst at dinner, it wasn’t my intention to cause a scence.”

“It’s fine Y/N” said sugawara “He definitely deserved it.”

“Yeah as your marvellous senpai we gave him a good telling off” said Tanaka and Nishinoya  making you chuckle.  

“Okay well thanks guys, I’m going to sleep goodnight.”

“Wait Y/N can I speak with you.” asked Tsukishima gesturing to outside the room

“Umm sure” you respond following him into the corridor.

“I just want to say I’m sorry for the things I’ve said and done over the past year and how I’ve been a terrible boyfriend, you don’t deserve that. So, I’m sorry.”  

“I can’t say I can forgive you yet.” you say making Tsukishima look sad “but maybe with effort from you we can become friends possibly?”  

“Just friends?” he said with hope in voice thinking that you could be something more.

“Just friends.” you repeated and confirmed “Besides I have been asked on a date”  

“With who?”  

“None of your business stingyshima” you mock the nickname that Hinata calls him making him scowl and you smile “Goodnight.”

After Bokuto’s confession and Tsukishima’s apology, the rest of the training camp went off without a hitch. In your breaks and lunchtimes, you got to know more about Bokuto and with Kuroo’s help you even got to sneak out to actually go on your date. You sometimes even went to practice with them getting to show off your skills, with Bokuto cheering you on and complimenting you every single time.  

Tsukishima kept his distance for the most part, and kept the snarky comments about you and Bokuto to himself (even though he was dying to say them.) You eventually fully forgave Tsukishima in your 3rd year but you definitely weren’t as close as you used to be. Tsukishima’s comments and actions did affect you for a while however with the help of your loving boyfriend, you were reminded how beautiful you are no matter what weight, shape or height you were.

You and Bokuto stayed together, you made sure to come to every one of his games and when you introduced him to your dad he fainted on sight. Your dad and Bokuto got along, and became very close friends, Bokuto always came to him for advice (especially volleyball advice.) You loved Bokuto and he definitely loved you too.

AN: I hope you liked it, since I didn’t want to make it too similar too the Atsumu insecure one. And I feel like it dragged out a bit but got rushed in the endd....but oh well...

[sammyboyimagines]

Sweet Dreams

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: Eddie said no all those years ago, and you've grown apart, literally. You moved away with your father but eventually came back to Hawkins to live with your mother and finish your senior year. After Eddie saw you, he realized just how badly he messed up. And how badly he needed to make it up to you. Word count: 7.6k (my longest ever)

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI or I will steal your Thanksgiving leftovers. Unprotected sex, fingering, slight praise kink, Eddie is sub then dom, loss of virginity, teasing, unedited writing, I don't know what else and it's almost 5 am

//so i wasn't anticipating this being so long so very sorry

"Get the hell out of here!" your father's voice boomed across the tiny living room, the sound smacking you in the face. "Where am I gonna go? I don't have any friends here!" you answered, suddenly recognizing just how bad you were sweating from the frenzied argument. The cold November air coming from the open windows reminded you to stay grounded.

"I don't give a damn. Anywhere but here. Go to your whore mother. She'll take you in." the venom in your father's words struck you right in the heart. It hurt to know that your father harbored this much hate for you.

"Fine, don't try to get me to come back. You and everyone else can go to hell." you tread through the empty bottles your father carelessly downed like water through the past few months. You picked up your bag of various items you grabbed in a rush. One of those items was a necklace with a guitar pick, the red color shining against the dim lights in your house.

"You too, sweetheart. Get the fuck out of my house!" he watched as you swung the front door open and stormed off to your car. The pouring rain concealed the tears falling down your enraged, red face. Your father watched you pull out of the driveway and speed off into the night. You drove for a while, back to your mother's house.

Back to Hawkins.

That was 3 months ago. Now it was your senior year, and you'd rather be anywhere than a small town in Indiana, but you didn't have much of a choice. 

"Y/n, you can't miss your first day. You've dozed the summer away, time to get up and actually do something." your mother was lovely most of the time. You had no intentions of ever speaking to your father again.

"I don't want to go. People will remember me, and I'll be a loser like I was before I left." You were desperately praying that she'd let you stay home, the overwhelming dread of being bullied had left you unable to sleep the entire night.

But, you found yourself walking into the doors of Hawkins High, your nerves making you feel sick to your stomach as you pushed one of the double doors open. You could feel your hands trembling. 

You thought about your life before you moved in with your father midway through middle school. You left your best friend, the man you fell head over heels for. Eddie Munson. 

You fondly recollect learning how to play D&D with him, being there when he got his first electric guitar for his 13th birthday and watching his poor attempt at playing his first chord. You were happy. Everything was okay.

Then, your dad suddenly gained full custody, because your mom had a few loose ends she needed to take care of. So, after 13 years, you were moving out of Hawkins and into your father's care. He wasn't much better. Your father delved into an alcohol addiction almost a year after you moved in, and it became harder and harder to lead a normal quiet life. 

Not that a normal life was feasible anyway. You weren't the chattiest person at school, so you often went overlooked as you finished middle school and went through 3 years of high school. The bullies weren't the worst part. 

No, the worst part was missing your old life. Your old friends, the blossoming Hellfire Club, your mother. But most of all, you missed Eddie Munson. 

Hawkins wasn't the prettiest or most interesting town. It was actually quite boring there, but it was home. Home, where everything was okay.

You weren't particularly popular back in Hawkins either, but at least you had people who gave a damn about your emotions. But now, 5 years later, the "Welcome to Hawkins" sign only brought the fear that everything has changed. You came back in the summer, hoping to get accustomed to life in Hawkins again.

Except you didn't. You dwelled in bed, every new day brought the challenge of getting out of bed. It was exhausting and very lonesome. Until school came crawling back, and you were forced to be around incompetant idiots for hours each day. Just the thought alone was excruciating.

So, after years of pushing the memories of Hawkins deep down in your brain, they all came flooding back as soon as you drove up to the school. It never was a pretty school.

You made your way to your first class just before the first bell rang, the sound making you cringe as you managed to keep your tired eyes open. The first period started, and you had nothing but a notebook and a pencil like everyone else, but they already knew each other. It was a small town, nobody came or left. Except you, yet people didn't seem to recognize you.

You were grateful.

As the bell rang, you tossed your things into your bag and headed out into the hallway. You could have sworn you saw someone staring at you, but you already started walking so you figured it was your imagination.

You were so nervous you could pass out, you chalked up the thought of someone watching you on your silly mind. 

The day went by pretty fast to your surprise. Nobody had really said anything. Perhaps they didn't recognize you. You definitely changed yourself when you left Hawkins for the city. You wore makeup now, sharp eyeliner adorning your face, and whatever else you decided on before you left that morning. Your clothing style was more mature, showing off your body in the way that you wanted. You changed your hair as well. It was shorter.

Lunchtime came around, and you were lucky to find an open seat in the bustling cafeteria. 

"Hey, you're in my seat." you felt someone gently nudge your shoulder. You were face-to-face with Jason Carver when you turned around. 

//pretend the timelines match

"Oh, okay." you knew Jason was an asshole. He teased you before you left. But today was your first day, and you couldn't possibly care less that you were sitting in some jock's seat. You nodded to him and turned back around to eat your lunch. 

"I don't think you heard me. You're in my seat, move." you could hear stupid cheerleaders laughing behind you. Great start to your first day.

"No, I don't think I will." by now half the cafeteria was watching you stand up to THE Jason Carver. "Fine, you brought this on yourself." the girls forcibly pulled you out of your seat, dropping you onto the floor next to the lunch table with a thud. Your tray was slid off the table, the clattering noise filling the air. 

"Go away now, please. Or do we need to remove you ourselves?" Jason took your seat, shoving your backpack in your direction. You said nothing as you cleaned up the mess from your lunch tray. Footsteps approached you, making you roll your eyes.

"Have you had enough yet? Get the fuck away from me." another pair of hands started helping you clean. You glanced up to see a boy with long hair and a jean jacket with numerous pins and patches spread throughout. "Relax, I'm not here to throw you on the floor." he chuckles to himself, though he quickly shut up when you weren't laughing.

Eddie didn't know how to talk to girls. It was never his strong suit, especially when the girl had just been humiliated in front of a third of the school. The only girl he was truly good at talking to was you. You were the only girl that tolerated his loud terrible guitar playing and endless rants about whatever nerdy subject came to his strange mind. It was endearing and some of his favorite memories.

He missed you greatly when you moved to your dad's house. The grief he felt was similar to a breakup. Uncle Wayne had to deal with Eddie's moping and whining for two weeks after you left. He hardly played guitar for a month until he finally got over you. 

He convinced himself he would never see you again. And he hadn't recognized you when you sat in his first period today or during lunch when he was face to face with the prettiest smile he'd ever seen.

"Thank you." you flashed a small smile at him before standing up. Eddie froze for a split second. Something in your smile reminded him of a fire he once felt for a girl long ago. He had no idea it was the same girl he fell in love with years ago.

"No problem, they're just bullies. You can sit at my table. We'll make some room for you." Eddie had dealt with bullies all his life, just like you. He led the way to his table, where all the students had the same white shirt with black sleeves. "What's the Hellfire Club?" You sat next to Eddie, reading the 'Hellfire Club' text on their shirts.

You already knew the answer. Eddie was planning the club in middle school, his campaigns would take forever to plan yet you'd be there for every second.

It annoyed the hell out of Wayne but he let it slide because it was a clear case of young love.

"Oh! It's our D&D club. You know what D&D is, right?" He lifted an eyebrow, still blissfully unaware of who he was speaking with. You chuckled and nodded. "Of course I do. How many people are in the club?" when Eddie started the club, it was just you, him, and whoever would volunteer. Eddie listed the names of several members, pointing to each one as he spoke. 

"Um, Eddie, who is sitting in my spot?" Dustin cleared his throat before he spoke. Eddie sighed, sending a death glare to the boy. "She's a friend, sit next to Gareth today and respect our guest, Dustin." Eddie smiled at him sarcastically before turning back to you.

Lunch was over quickly. You got up to leave the cafeteria, eager to get the day over with. Eddie tapped your shoulder. "I never got your name by the way. I'm Eddie Munson." He offered his hand, to which you shook. You contemplated whether you should even tell him your name. 

"Y/n L/n." You sped out of the cafeteria before Eddie could realize who he was talking to. It took him a full minute to recognize your name. His jaw dropped when he finally realized that he was talking to you, his best friend. He came to the conclusion that he had to see you again.

You, on the other hand, were hoping that was the last interaction you had with him. The truth was you had a falling out with Eddie right before you left. You asked him out, with an elaborate plan to ask him on his birthday. You bought him a vinyl record to add to his collection and a few more minor gifts in hopes of gaining a shred of his affection. But, when you showed up at his door, he was with another girl. He was showing her how to play his guitar.

He never let anyone play his guitar, not even his best friend. Eddie saw you, a smile on his face while you felt your world collapsing from the second you saw her in his room from the hallway. "Hey, Y/n! I wasn't expecting you. What's all this?" he looked at the bag of gifts you packed before walking to his house.

You felt sick to your stomach. Like a knife had been stabbed in your side. And Eddie was the perpetrator. "Um- Just a few gifts. Happy birthday." you offered a faint smile, your mind far away, engrossed in your own rapidly swirling thoughts. Eddie took the bag graciously. "Thank you! This is my girlfriend by the way. She likes D&D too." Eddie smiled a toothy grin, shoving his fluffy hair to the side. His hair was still in that awkward phase between short and long.

The second knife to your stomach. His girlfriend? 

"I just wanted to stop by. I'm gonna go now." Eddie flashed a confused look your way. "But you just got here? Wayne bought a cake if you want a slice?" Eddie spends most of his birthdays hanging out with you. It felt abnormal to not celebrate with you. 

"No. I need to leave." you were about 2 seconds from bursting out into tears, and Eddie quickly realized this. "What's wrong? Is everything okay?" it hurt to see his best friend upset. He was oblivious to the fact that he made you cry. 

Eddie had no interest in the girl sitting on his bed strumming nonsense on his guitar. He felt like he had no chance with you, a girl who he's spent years chasing. You were miles out of his league, and he couldn't possibly ask you out because what if you rejected him? He shuddered at the thought of losing your friendship.

So, he tried anything and everything to get over you. Distracting himself with music, dating whoever he thought would make him forget, and ignoring you. He didn't visit you on your birthday next week.

No calls, no gifts, no visits. Radio silence.

So, you ignored him as well. You figured he had been occupied with his new girlfriend. You couldn't stand the thought of him being with someone else, the jealousy consumed you whenever you thought of him. 

When Wayne broke the news to Eddie that you had moved, Eddie had pretty much broken down. He hadn't said goodbye, missed your birthday and ignored you for the last two weeks you had together. All because he was too much of a coward to say he was in love with you.

And then here you were, sitting right in front of him the whole lunch period and he didn't even recognize you. Eddie searched the halls for you for a few minutes before eventually wandering to his class. It was like you disappeared. 

The next few hours went by extremely slowly. Eddie couldn't wait to get to you and tell you everything he should have before you left Hawkins. He would apologize for treating you the way he did when he was a cowardly 13-year-old.

Eddie didn't miss the way you were very enthusiastic about the Hellfire Club and the way you smiled when you recognized him. It made him feel like his old self again, pining after his nerdy best friend. 

He never saw you after school, you had bolted as soon as the bell rang. He didn't see you for a whole week after that day. He'd go to school hoping to see you roaming the halls with your headphones on listening to some loud song like you always did. You always managed to stay one step ahead of him, racing from one class to the next. You actually skipped first period that week. 

He felt as if you were ignoring him. You were, in fact. You still harbored a little hatred for him, despite having a crush on him for 5+ years. Some crushes never go away, and your crush on Eddie would never disappear. No matter how hard you tried to forget him.

When he spotted you walking to your car, he practically sprinted across the parking lot to catch up to you. "Y/n!" He hadn't said that name in years. It's funny how weird a word sounds when you think about it. You froze in your tracks, unprepared for the confrontation of a lifetime you were about to unleash upon him. You turned around to face the panting boy in front of you. "Yes, Eddie?"

Hearing his name from your lips was something he never thought he'd hear again. Eddie knew he wasn't the sharpest-looking guy in school, but he was never one to fit in anyway. He hoped you didn't feel repulsed by him. "So it really is you?" he was breathless, and not just because he ran across the parking lot. By fate, you were brought back to him, looking as beautiful as ever. Hell, even more beautiful than when he first met you. 

"Yeah, I moved back in with my mom. Never thought I'd be back here." You were honest with him. A pact made between you two, there would be no lying or withholding information from each other. Sure, you've broken it more times than you'd prefer to say, but you tried your best. Eddie nodded, shoving his clammy hands into his jeans pockets, desperately trying to seem cool and collected despite his heart hammering quickly in his chest.

"Well, was city life better than Hawkins? You look very different." Eddie liked your new look, though he thought you were captivating in anything you wore. You laugh at that. "Me, different? Look at you! Your hair!" You reach over to run a hand through his tangled hair and Eddie swears he can hear his own thoughts screaming at him to pull away. But he doesn't. He wouldn't dare pull away now that you're closer to him than ever. 

"I'd say you changed more than I did. You're still playing guitar I hope. I remember Wayne said he'd give it to me if you didn't use it." You saw his eyes light up the second you mentioned music. 

"Hell yeah, I am. I'm in a band. It's called Corro-"

"Corroded Coffin. I helped you with the name, dummy." You were never mean to him, Eddie understood after years of being friends that you never meant it when you called him a dummy or stupid. Tough love is what you called it.

"Really? Well, I guess I owe you for that." Eddie couldn't hold back the smile that snaked its way onto his face. He stayed awake at night when he was younger, wondering why you wouldn't inform him you were moving away. "You owe me for a lot of things, Eddie." you giggled to yourself, but Eddie wasn't catching on.

"What do you mean?" He leaned against your car as you sighed. "There's a lot you don't know about. I've done a lot for you when we were kids, helped you get your start with the band, the club, I introduced you to metal." you were rambling, still not getting to your point. 

"Yeah, that's what friends do for each other. What are you saying? Do you want me to pay you or something? Is that the reason you came back here?" You scoffed. "Please, I didn't want to be friends with you, I was in lov-" you stopped yourself, but Eddie had heard most of it. "You were what?" he wanted to hear you say it.

"No. You don't deserve to hear it. You know, I was truthfully gonna ask you out on your birthday, got gifts and everything to convince you, but you were already with another girl when I got there." You were still carrying feelings for him. He was like a virus that wouldn't go away.

"I was dating her to try and ignore my feelings for you." he laughs when your jaw drops. Both you and Eddie were very expressive around each other. "I hate you! Why would you do that?!" You smack his shoulder. Eddie was laughing at the idiocy of the situation. "God, this is so stupid." he ran his hands through his hair.

"No, it's just you." you laugh when he holds his heart, feigning offense. "How dare you, you're the coward for not asking me out earlier!" He earned another slap, but this time he caught your hand. "You're so sensitive, you know that? You always have been." Eddie was suddenly very aware of how close he was. He could smell your perfume and it made his head spin.

You were frozen in the spot. His warm body heat from his hand warmed your arm as he held his tightly. "Let's go on a date." you blurted out, making him drop your hand. "Now?" he raises an eyebrow. "Yes, right now. My place. We'll watch a movie and order pizza." You were forcing him now, but frankly, he didn't care. The girl of his dreams has just asked him out. 

"Well?" you look at him with hopeful eyes. The longer the silence went on, the more your confidence slipped. He slipped out of his trance and nodded frantically. "Ye-Yeah! Right now, let's go!" How could he ever refuse?

You drove home, barely able to contain your happiness. Eddie watched you. You looked angelic, the autumn trees giving an orange hue to everything near it. Your sweet, soft features encouraged him to let his inhibitions go. "Why are you staring at me?" you look over to see him scanning your features with an enamored gaze.

The soft humming of your car allowed a peaceful silence between you two. "I just can't believe you're back. Why didn't you let me call you when you moved?" Eddie was still as oblivious as he was 5 years ago. "Eddie. You had a girl over and you let her play your guitar. I was in love with you. I couldn't bare to see some random girl have all your attention while I was right there waiting for a love that would never come. And when you forgot my birthday I had assumed you wanted nothing to do with me after you got your girlfriend." it sounded a lot worse when you said it aloud. Eddie was awestruck.

"Oh fuck I am so so sorry, Y/n. Man, I really messed that up. I liked you too but I convinced myself that you were out of my league so I tried dating other girls to forget about you but it never worked. I could never forget a girl like you, you're too remarkable." he turned in his seat to face you.

"Y/n, I promise I will never treat you like that ever again. If I hurt you that bad you have permission to slap me." His brown puppy eyes were slowly convincing you to forgive him as you pulled into the driveway. "You're an idiot, Eddie Munson."

"You are too, Y/n L/n." 

//yeahhhhh did you think it'd be like nancy and steve? no, we call each other idiots in this house

When you got inside, you tossed your coat off your shoulders while Eddie stood awkwardly beside you. "You've been to my house like a thousand times, why are you acting like that?" you laughed at the way he was awkwardly standing near the door. He shrugged and tried to play it off. "Well, we're on a date. It's different circumstances. If we were hanging out I'd already be on your couch with a bag of Doritos." he chuckles, making you smile. Mission accomplished.

Eddie was still in shock to see you. It still surprised him just how much you changed, physically and mentally. He had to admit, you were pretty before but now you were beyond gorgeous. And he had you all to himself, it didn't seem real.

"Am I dreaming right now?" his eyes widened as he realized he said that aloud. You let out a chuckle, turning on the tv. As you bent over, you saw him staring at your ass. "Is this what you'd typically dream of?" you give him a suggestive smirk as you sit so close your thigh is touching his, teasing him. You planned to make him forget about any other girl in Hawkins with this date, but it got increasingly difficult to pull yourself away from him. He was very endearing and handsome you could hardly control yourself from jumping him before you even got to the house.

Eddie's eyes grew impossibly wider as he flinched at the contact. You'd never been this close to him. He had a perfect view down your shirt and into your bra, it was killing him. Eddie did dream about you a lot, even 5 years later. The entire week, actually. His dreams weren't as PG as he lead you to believe. This entire week he'd been haunted by you in his dreams. You noticed his cheeks flush as he shifted on the couch, his hand moving to cover his lap nonchalantly.

Monday, your first day back, he went home thinking about how good your breasts looked in your black tank top when he was helping you pick up your lunch tray off the floor. Tuesday, he dreamt about your hips, how good you'd feel sitting in his lap. He imagined himself running his hands up and down your thighs, hearing your sweet moans as he inched you closer and closer to submission. 

Wednesday, he dreamt about your body draped over his bed as he took his time with you. He could hardly contain himself at the thought of your sweet pussy taking him so nicely. Thursday, he imagined you going down on him. Your pretty lips were taking him in your mouth, he was imagining how you'd gag on his cock as he gently tugged at your soft hair as you gave him a blowjob.

Now it was Friday, and he was semi-hard in front of his best friend. You wanted to make him flustered, it was adorable how he squirmed and blushed. "Maybe those dreams were a little more...sensual, yeah?" you placed a warm hand on his cheek, a small gesture but it drove him insane. He'd be lying if he said no. He was trying his best to focus on anything but your silky, sultry voice and your warm soft thigh touching his. His cheeks flushed as he used as much willpower as he could to keep himself from getting hard. 

"I forgive you, for dating that girl. But I still think you should make it up to me." Eddie's mouth felt dry as he struggled to find the words. "Yeah, yeah I can do that. What do you want? I can buy you some records or something-"

"I want a good date. I want to be close like we were before I left. I miss us." you weren't lying, you missed the way you two found comfort in each other. It was effortless with Eddie, you missed that. "Ye-Yeah I can do that." Eddie wasn't used to being so speechless and shy around his friends. But your way with words and assertive nature had him falling for you harder than ever before. The way your hungry eyes looked over him as he talked made him warm inside. 

"We'll talk about those dreams later. I wanna hear all about them." You put a movie on. You were fully aware that Eddie's dreams were sexual, but you wanted to make him feel hot in his seat.

"I really don't think you want to hear about them. They're not that interesting.." he fumbles with his rings, desperate for any kind of distraction from your sexy glare. "I think I do. I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours." Eddie never felt pressured by you. He knew that you would back off if he asked.

The conversation died when the movie started. It only took about 30 minutes for you to become suddenly very needy. And not in a "friend" way. "Eddie, can I sit in your lap? I'm cold." Eddie choked on air for a second, inhaling deeply. He knew that you'd feel his erection if you sat in his lap. So he protested.

"You don't want to, trust me, we could get a blanket- oh fuck.." Eddie let out a strangled groan when you moved into his lap. His hands fell to his sides, finding it difficult not to hold you against his chest. "Is this okay? We'll both warm up this way." you lean back against him, your ass pressed tightly against his hard-on. A small gasp came from Eddie, his hands gripped your waist. "Don't move, please." he was trying so hard to hide his erection.

"Like this?" you wiggled your hips in his lap, earning a long groan from his soft lips. The room felt 10 degrees hotter as you teased him into oblivion. His palms held your hips in place, the tight grip giving you butterflies in your stomach. Eddie was panting lightly now. "You're doing this on purpose. Fuck you're such a tease." he breathlessly laughs as he watches you turn around to face him, your clothed pussy now pressed against his hard erection. 

His head tilted back against the couch as he bit his lip to stop another noise from coming out. "You're right. I really did want to watch the movie but this is just so much better." Eddie exhaled. "I'm better than the movie?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He couldn't imagine you giving a damn about him, let alone bringing him home and giving him this kind of attention.

"Obviously. Can I kiss you?" you glanced at his soft lips before pressing yours against them. Eddie let out a short whimper against your lips, the feeling of your kisses and your pretty thighs sitting on his lap were almost too hot to handle. His hands cupped your face. You could hear the desperation in his gasps for air every few seconds. 

You pulled away, your ruby-red lips leaving a stain on his. "You don't know what you're doing to me, Y/n," he says between shortened breaths. You pressed a kiss to his heated cheeks. "I think I do." you reached down to palm his hard-on through his jet-black jeans, making him buck up to meet your hand, and a groan escaped his pretty, red-tinted lips. His eyes rolled back into his head at the thought of being this intimate with you. He dreamed about this.

You continued your efforts until he grabbed your hands. "Let's slow down. I don't think you want this to be over in one minute." he laughs, feeling dizzy with desire as you gaze up at him. Your big, gorgeous eyes were enough to make him weak in the knees. Good thing he was sitting. 

His hands wandered up and down your body, stopping at your boobs.

"Can I?" he asked politely as if you didn't just have your hand on his dick. "Yes babe, I'm all yours." the pet name made him hum in pleasure as he tried to contain the huge smile growing on his face. The thought of you being his girl filled him with pride. It also made him insanely turned on.

He wasted no time putting his hands on you. His large palms smoothed over your boobs over your shirt. You curled your fingers underneath the fabric and pulled it over your head. Eddie's eyes widened as his jaw dropped. "You're so naughty, no bra?" he stared at your tits before squeezing them and playing with your nipples. You sighed in response, giggling at his reaction.

"What if I told you I wasn't wearing underwear?" Eddie groaned at the thought. "Are you serious? Jesus christ you're gonna kill me, Y/n." the jeans were starting to feel uncomfortable over his hard dick. "Can we go to your room? I'm sure your mom would kill me if she found out we're doing this on her couch." Eddie couldn't keep his eyes off your tits. He wasn't even looking at your face when talking to you. 

"You're just scared she's gonna walk in on us." you laugh. "Well yeah she'd shoot me!" he collects himself and makes his way to your room. "Ladies first." he watched your ass move in your tight shorts as you made your way upstairs to your room. "You're such a pervert." you tease him.

"Says the one who wonders about my wet dreams." Eddie froze. "Aha! So you do dream about me! Tell me what you've dreamt about me doing. Please?" you pouted, using your best puppy eyes in hopes to convince him. "Or...you could...show me?" 

He could work with that. "Alright, I'll tell you what to do." Eddie mustered up a bit of courage as he took the lead. His fingers ghosted over your spine, sending chills all over your body. "Take your shorts off, please.." Eddie sat on a chair beside your vanity, sending you an enamored smile. As you pulled your shorts down to reveal your lacy blue panties, he chuckled. "I was hoping you wouldn't be wearing anything under those. You're a liar." you laughed and made your way to him, your body feeling hot with desire.

"I said that to get you going." You placed a quick kiss on his lips. "I've been hard since you started the movie, you don't have to worry about that." he laughed as he unzipped his jeans, letting his clothes dick get some relief from his restricting pants. "Come sit on my lap. I'll show you a part of what I dreamt of." His hands grabbed your waist, pulling you into his warm lap.

"I dreamed about holding you against me. Unable to move as I run my hands all over you and have you begging for me." One arm wrapped around you, tightly holding you against his chest. His other hand was rubbing your thigh, squeezing the soft skin. "So soft, so perfect for me. I dreamt about you all this week. You've been ignoring me, sweetheart." his hands traveled further up your thigh to your inner thigh, tracing your bikini line.

"I almost didn't recognize you at first. But either way, I was staring right down your shirt. Right at those perfect pretty tits. God that's all I could think about all day." he groans in your ear as he ruts against your ass. You whimper at his words. "Eddie please-"

"Please what? I haven't even touched you!" He smirked as he cupped your cunt, rubbing up and down your slit through your lacy panties that you, unfortunately, decided to keep on. You sighed in pleasure, a small moan coming from your lips. Eddie smiled as he placed hickeys along your neck, sloppy kisses all over your collarbone and neck while he teased your pussy.

"You're so wet for me, sweetheart. You've soaked your panties." he tsked, pulling his hand away, making you whine in response. He didn't reply, but he slipped his hand into your panties, his talented fingers immediately finding their way to your clit and you can barely contain yourself. The feeling of his dick grinding into your ass made your head spin.

Eddie gently rubbed your clit, the slow pace sending waves of pleasure crashing over you as he stroked your pussy. "Oh fuck, Eddie.." you didn't know what you saying anymore, the moans fell from your mouth without hesitation. Hearing you moan out his name was all he needed to motivate him. "Good girl, your moans are so pretty. Just like I imagined." his finger teased your opening, making you whimper in response. "Please Eddie.." you begged for him to touch you more, anywhere. 

Eddie was practically trembling beneath you. He wanted this for so long. Not this in particular, but being this intimate with you. He'd daydream for hours about holding you close, comforting you...boyfriend things. Now that he was this close to reaching this dream, he didn't want to lose sight of it. It felt like heaven to hear you moan his name and come undone by his lewd actions. 

His other hand cupped your breast, pinching your nipple between two fingers. He relished the way you arched into his hand as he stroked you and groped your tits from behind. You squirm as he teases your entrance, his fingers so close to where you want them. "Please!" you grind your hips to try and create some pleasure, but he stopped you when he pinched your hip. "I'll get you there, sweetheart. Just let me live in this moment. You're so gorgeous, wanna see you come undone from just my fingers.." he pressed messy kisses along your neck as he spoke.

He obliges and gently pushes two fingers inside, watching you gasp at the feeling of his long rough fingers inside your warm pussy. "Mmm look at you, so sweet.." he groaned softly into your ear, further bringing you pleasure. His fingers went deeper, curling them ever so often, making your eyes roll back into your head. "Eddie oh my god" you leaned your head back, resting it on his shoulder.

"Look at me while I fuck you with my fingers, baby." you lock eyes with him. His intense gaze only brought you close to your release. Then, he adds another finger. Your jaw drops as you let out a sweet gasp and a quick moan of his name. His fingers curled inside you, feeling that spongy spot. Soon you were practically seeing stars as you looked into his eyes. He pumped his fingers in and out, watching your reaction. 

He was trying with all his might to not cum right in his jeans. The pleasured cries coming from your mouth gave him butterflies in his stomach. He quickened his pace, your body writhing in front of him. "Please I'm so close Eddie, please!" you didn't know what you were begging for, but you didn't want his motions to stop.

"I know baby, I know. Look at me when you come, I wanna see those pretty eyes.." he tilted your chin to look at you, a sly smirk adorning his handsome face. He felt your walls tighten around him as you teetered on the edge of your orgasm. "Come on sweetheart, be my good girl, cum on my fingers." you let out a loud cry at the sensation. You repeated the words in your head. Yes, you were his good girl. 

His words pushed you over the edge, "Fuck Eddie, I'm gonna.." you breathlessly moan against his lips as he presses a sweet soft kiss to yours. Your body trembles as your orgasm rushes through you, the feeling coursing through your entire body. "Mmm, that's it, sweetheart. So good for me." he was panting, between your hips grinding on him unintentionally and your sweet sexy moans, he practically came in his pants.

He led your orgasm ride out until you were nothing but a shaky mess. He pulled his long fingers out of your cunt and placed them in his mouth. His eyes rolled back at your taste. "Sweet, just as I thought." he groaned at your taste. "Feeling good?" he chuckles.

"Shut up, Munson." you get off his lap, your shaky legs only allowing you to reach your bed before they collapse. "Need a little help?" he laughs. 

"No, I need you to fuck me." you huff, pulling your underwear off to reveal the sticky wet mess that he created. His heart skipped a beat at your statement. This was all he could ever dream of and more.

He fumbled into his back pocket and his eyes went wide. "I don't have a condom." he let out a frustrated sigh. You normally would have just given him a blowjob and called it a day, but you couldn't take another night without him inside you, surrounding you, loving you. "Just pull out. Okay? You can cum anywhere else you want." Eddie nodded, grateful for your desperation.

He made his way to you, his hands shaking in excitement. He dreamt of this for years after you were gone. "You let me know if you need to stop or if something hurts. Okay?" he cups your cheek sweetly. You smile at the gesture. "Yes, now please touch me." you laid underneath him. Eddie stopped for a moment to get a good look at you.

"This may or may not be a surprise to you but I'm not really experienced in this field. Haven't had much practice...at all." he tried to explain, and you understood, just as he'd hoped.

"Seriously? So all that back there was your first time fingering a girl?" when he nodded, you were taken aback. "You have to be kidding? That was singlehandedly the hottest experience of my life and you're telling me you haven't had any experience with a girl?" he shrugged. "I've made out a couple times." 

"Eddie are you sure you want me to be your first?" you didn't know if he'd want you to be his first time, after all this was your first week back in Hawkins. But to him, there was no other person he'd rather lose it to. No other person in Hawkins he'd rather spend his time with than you. "Yes, it has to be you. I've known that I wanted to be yours since the day I met you. There's nobody else I could think of that is worthy of my time. So yeah, I want it to be yours. I wanna be yours." your heart melted at his words.

You smiled at him before pulling him into a warm embrace. You kissed him shortly. "That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me." you were in awe of how sweet he was. He had a strange and even anti-social demeanor at school but here, he was the sweetest guy you've ever met.

"Eddie please, I don't think I can wait much longer." you reached down to circle your clit, humming at the sensation. Eddie grasped your wrist tightly. "That's my job." he watched you squirm at his words. Eddie spread your legs slowly, his eyes raking over your body. "God I love your legs.." he kisses your lower leg, humming to himself. You shiver at the feeling. "You're so goddamn hot.." he watched you whine impatiently.

"Eddie please fuck me.." Eddie felt a surge of pride when you begged for him. He ran his tip up and down your entrance, groaning softly at the feeling of your warm, dripping pussy against the tip of his cock. "Shit I don't think I can last long." he's been hard for practically 45 minutes. You pull him close, your forehead touching him. "I don't care, just want you, all of you" Eddie's heart melted at that.

He pushed into you, his dick stretching your tight walls as he went further. "Oh fuck, Y/n you're gonna be the death of me.." he could feel your clenching tightly around him as he pumped in and out of you slowly. You whimper at the feeling, your arms wrapping around his neck as you pull him in for a messy, deep kiss.

"Such a good girl, fuck you're so hot like this." he was openly moaning, not caring about the sounds he was making. "Is this okay? You like this?" he quickens the pace of his thrusts, biting back a loud groan. You were a moaning mess, trembling mess underneath him. You nodded quickly, your nails raking over Eddie's back as you took every inch of his cock.

"Oh my god, Eddie yes! So good, so good baby." you whimper, gasping for air with each uneven thrust he gave as he got closer to his orgasm. You were squirming and moaning beneath him. He could hardly think of anything else other than the feeling of your sweet pussy and your pretty moans in his ears.

You grind up to meet his thrusts as he desperately tries to bring you to orgasm before he does. "I can feel you baby- feel that you're close-fuck" he whimpers unashamedly in your ear. "Cum for me please, sweetheart. You're so hot I can't last much longer." He was so close, so unbelievably close. 

Your eyes were shut in pleasure, your hands grabbing fistfuls of his long dark hair. "Oh fuck I'm gonna.." you were cut off by your own gasp as your orgasm washed over you. Your mind went blank, but you could feel yourself gushing all over Eddie's cock. He prolongs your orgasm for as long as possible. His cock twitches inside you and he pulls out, seconds away from painting you with his cum. 

"Can I cum on your tits, please? Shit- I've been dreaming about this all week." he rambles on, unable to gain control of his emotions as he pumps himself, his ragged breaths giving you butterflies in your stomach. You nod, unable to do anything but watch as he releases his seed onto your breasts with a loud, satisfied groan.

You were trembling underneath him, your orgasm still giving you aftershocks. "You just relax, princess. I'll clean you up." he cleaned you up in a short amount of time. Eddie crawled back into bed with you, his hands pulling you closer to him.

"How was that for a first date?" he chuckles as you roll your eyes. "Well you made up for the lost time, that's for sure." you laid your head on his chest, inhaling his scent. Weed and cheap cologne. Perfect.

"I wasn't lying about anything. I prefer you over everyone. A-And I realize this is very sudden but I love you. I always have." he confessed, and you couldn't contain your smile.

"You're the only person I'd stay in Hawkins for, Eddie. I love you too." you grabbed his face and kissed him, your lips curling into a smile. "When does your mom get home?" he looks at the clock on your bedside table.

"She's on a work trip. She'll be gone until next week." you flash a smirk at him. 

"Good, I'm not finished with you."

[mercurygguk]

the first year | jjk (m)

genre; parents au + established relationship au

pairing; dad!jungkook x fem reader

✎ summary; in which jungkook learns that his new life as a parent can be difficult at times and that it takes a great amount of patience, but even with all that, jungkook wouldn’t trade it for anything.

warnings; my weak attempt at being funny, jungkook as a dad, SMUT; sexual activities, fingering, swearing, light dirty talk, actual sex, jungkook being a simp for his baby mama

word count; 4,121

➵ READ PART 1 HERE

a/n; here’s a part 2 of my dad!jungkook fic - hope you like it, enjoy!! also, please feel free to give some feedback <3 didn’t proof read at all, ignore any possible typos thx

Parenting is anything but easy.

That is something Jungkook has learned after the first few months of being a dad. His daughter is usually very easy to handle, very peaceful at most times and over all a very happy baby. However, she likes to wake him up in the middle of the night with loud cries. At this point Jungkook can’t even remember what it feels like to get 8 hours of sleep at night.

Tonight seems to be another one of those nights. Her cries are nothing but irritation, not satisfied with the lack of attention. Jungkook has learned the differences in her cries from the way they sound and whether there are tears or not. Sometimes she’s only doing it just to get some attention when all she really has to do is sleep. She must have inherited her mother’s temper and need for attention.

A heavy sigh falls from Jungkook’s lips, eyes still closed as he waits a few moments, hoping she’ll fall back to sleep without him having to get up and go to her room. Beside him, his girlfriend and the mother of his daughter is stirring, turning over to face Jungkook’s back. Scooting closer, you reach out to touch his back, your palm running up and down.

“I’ll get her,” you softly tell him, speaking into the darkness before blindlessly pressing a kiss to the skin of his back. Before you can get out of bed, Jungkook is getting up. You watch as he drags his feet out of the bedroom and down the small hallway to where his daughter is currently having a midnight crying fit. A small smile sneaks its way onto your lips, knowing he doesn’t mind getting her in the middle of the night despite how tired he sounds and looks. 

There’s nothing in the world he wouldn’t do for her.

Jungkook carefully opens the door, peeking his head inside to see his 7-month-old daughter standing up in her crib, her hands tightly gripping the edge to hold herself up. He switches on the night lamp on her dresser, lighting up the room in a warm glow. Her big brown eyes with long lashes looks at him, no tears in sight, just a small mischievous grin on her face because he’s there to check on her again. The way she has him wrapped around her tiny pinky finger is beyond him. 

“You little tease,” he coos with a smile as he steps closer to the crib, immediately picking her up when she reaches for him. Once she’s in his arms, she cuddles closer to him, head neatly tucked into the crook of his neck. Jungkook sighs deeply in content, running his hand up and down her back as he makes his way out of her room and back to you in the bedroom. You’re still awake when he appears in the doorway, a knowing smirk on your face as he moves closer to the bed. You reach out while pouting, wanting your baby girl in your arms. She’s already half asleep again as Jungkook hands her over before climbing into bed.

Jungkook watches with pure adoration in his eyes as the two most important girls in his life are cuddling up against him. You glance up at him, noticing the small smile he always seems to sport whenever you catch him looking at you and your daughter. She’s fully asleep now, completely unaware of the way her parents are watching her with proudness in their eyes and hearts.

“We got lucky, huh?” You softly say.

Nodding, Jungkook intertwines your free hand with his.

“We really did.”

“You know what we should?” 

You turn to look at Jungkook, eyebrows raised in question. He looks out of the window in the living room, watching the skyline and tapping his chin as if he’s in deep thought. You wait patiently until he looks your way.

“We should throw a party for Areum’s 1st birthday,” he says. You give him a look only to receive one back.

You scoff lightly, “you don’t think I haven’t thought of that?”

Jungkook shrugs. “Well, you never mentioned it, so how should I know?”

Pretending to be offended, you place a hand on your chest and let out another scoff. Jungkook chuckles at your silliness, scooting closer before pulling you onto his lap. You smile at him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Of course, we’re throwing her a party. It’s her first one after all.”

Smiling, Jungkook rubs his palms up and down your thighs. Soon the smile falls from his lips. You frown as you watch it happen, his eyes falling to look at anything but your face. You know what he’s thinking, he’s mentioned it before.

“I can’t believe she’s already a year old soon,” he mumbled. You smile softly, reaching up to run a hand through his hair to remove it from his face. He looks at you again, a sad smile on his face now. “She’s growing so fast, it terrifies me.”

“Oh, I know, baby,” you coo, “but she can’t stay tiny forever, you know that.”

He sighs deeply. “Yeah, I know. I just wish I could slow down time sometimes.”

Your heart aches watching him being this sad over something so inevitable. He loves her so much and he’ll do anything to protect her, go to great lengths to get her whatever she needs. It warms your heart, makes you wonder if you ever could’ve found someone more perfect than him if you didn’t have him?

“She’ll always need you, Jungkook. Even when she’ll say she doesn’t.”

“Areum, sweetheart, no- watch out!”

You watch with wide, horrified eyes as your daughter climbs onto the couch and stands up, wobbling on her very unstable legs. You’re not quick enough to get up and catch her before she tumbles to the ground, her head thankfully not hitting the floor as hard as it could’ve. A loud cry sounds throughout the living room, tears welling up in her eyes as you pick her up.

You examine her for any injuries while cradling her to you. When you don’t see any, you press a kiss on the top of her head. “Oh sweetie, I’m sorry, it’s okay,” you coo, holding her close as she cries it out.

As she sniffles against your shirt, a thousand thoughts run through your mind. Firstly, Jungkook must never know this happened. Secondly, you feel like the worst mother ever, the way you just let her climb up there without support and basically just watching her fall down and almost hit her head very badly.

“Oh, God,” you breathe out, letting out a quiet cry of panic.

The front door opens, your boyfriend’s humming sounding throughout the apartment. You listen as he kicks off his shoes and unzips his jacket. You quickly check Areum’s face for visible tears, hurriedly drying off the remnants with your sleeve. You press a quick kiss to the tip of her nose, flashing her a smile before picking up a toy, handing it to her and pretending her fall didn’t just happen minutes ago.

“Hey babe,” Jungkook appears in the living room, smiling widely at the two of you. He’s quick to come closer, reaching out for Areum and picking her up. He smooches her cheeks with a smile, but it’s without her usual reaction of laughter. You watch, waiting until it hits him. His smile falters, glancing at you whose face is grimacing in apology already. 

The red spots from tears on her small, soft cheeks is what gives it away. That and how quiet she is when usually she’s laughing hysterically when Jungkook smooches her.

“Has she been crying? And is that a bump on her forehead?” He asks, turning to look at you.

“Yeah...” you trail off, wincing as your boyfriend stares you down in suspicion, “we might’ve had a small accident-”

“____!” Jungkook exclaims, horrified as he sits down on the couch with Areum in his lap. He examines her like you did when the fall happened, worry written all over his face. You sigh deeply, getting up from the floor to take a seat beside him. “How did this happen? Did you not watch her?”

“I did!” You quickly defend yourself, “she was crawling onto the couch and before I knew it she was falling down head first into the rug!”

Jungkook exhales, looking back at Areum who’s playing with the thin silver chain around his neck. The bump on her forehead doesn’t look too bad. “I guess the rug took most of the fall, the bump isn’t that big.”

“Oh God, I’m the worst mom ever!” You cry out at the sight of the small bump on your daughter’s head, wrapping yourself around Jungkook’s arm, your face hidden in his shoulder. Jungkook can’t help but roll his eyes. You always have to be so dramatic, thinking the worst about yourself when this could’ve happened to any parent.

“____,” he calls out, catching your attention. You sniffle lightly, lifting your head to look up at him. He smiles at you. “You’re not the worst mom ever, okay? You’re the best and this minor accident doesn’t define your entire role as a mother. She’s okay, look.”

You look at your daughter, her attention still focused on the silver chain, although now her small mouth is curved into a small smile. You smile at her, Jungkook does too. “It’s just a tiny bump,” he tells you, pausing before saying: “there will probably be much worse in the future.”

Gasping, you slap his upper arm causing Areum to let out that precious baby laugh. “Don’t jinx it!”

Jungkook is in a good mood, a pep in his step as he makes his way up to yours and his apartment, fully aware that you’re probably already cooking a delicious meal and making everything ready for your ‘date night’. The drive back from his parents’ place, where he just dropped off Areum, was filled with loud music that made him even more excited for finally having some time with you alone after God knows how long.

Once he steps through the front door, a delicious aroma of his favorite dish hits his nostrils causing him to let out a deep sigh of content. He quickly slips off his shoes and jacket before making his way to the kitchen. Feel-good songs are playing on the speaker and you’re moving around while preparing the food, singing along and just enjoying yourself. You’re not aware of Jungkook standing behind you, a big grin on his face.

Deciding to surprise you, he sneaks up behind you and snakes his arms around your waist, chin resting on your shoulder. You jump lightly in his embrace, turning your head slightly to see that it is in fact the love of your life who’s hugging you.

“Hi,” you softly say, smiling when he presses his lips to your cheek in a soft kiss.

“Mhm,” he hums in response, “it smells delicious, baby.”

“Good for you that your favorite dish is the one I make the best,” you smirk, flipping the steaks on the pan. Jungkook chuckles before agreeing with you. You turn the heat down before turning around in his arms, coming face to face with him. Without another thought he leans in and steals a quick peck. He grins at you when he pulls back to look at you again. “Go get cleaned up,” you tell him, pushing him away from you.

“I love you,” he smiles sweetly as he backs away and heads towards the bedroom. You watch with a lovesick smile, your eyes automatically landing on his butt because it’s right there and you can’t help yourself. Something tells you, you won't finish dinner at the table, but in bed instead.

Sure enough, you stayed at the table until you finished the main dish. You had prepared dessert as well but Jungkook is in the mood for another kind of dessert – that’s what he had said when he got up from his seat before pulling you from yours and tugging you towards the bedroom. Screw the ice cream, you thought to yourself and allowed Jungkook to guide you to the bed.

Ever since Areum was born you’ve had few chances of being alone with Jungkook, enjoying his company and the love he always stores deep inside of him until he feels like showering you in it. 

It’s slow but hurried, it’s passionate and yet filled with desperation, it’s you and him together in your own bubble. Your eyes close shut as Jungkook traces your skin with his lips, his hands running over and feeling your curves and every dip in your body. His lips brush across the faint stretch marks on your stomach, his hands cupping your breasts softly yet firmly.

“God, you’re the most beautiful mama to ever exist,” Jungkook groans as he hovers over you, looking you up and down, noticing every single detail of your body and skin. You smile, a faint blush covering your cheeks as he dips down to kiss you softly. His tongue meets yours halfway, a soft moan falling from your mouth and into his. He swallows the whimpers you let out as he reaches down, fingers running between your lower lips, the wetness there evident to him.

“Jungkook,” you sigh in pleasure against his lips as he rolls your clit with his thumb, “more, please.”

He smirks softly, lips moving from your lips to your cheeks and further down to the top of your breasts, peppering kisses all over you. All your senses are on fire, the feeling of his lips, his fingers, his body against yours, the growing erection against your leg. Your hand reaches down to rub against it through his boxers, the only piece of clothing separating his cock from your clenching hole. You’re whimpering against him as the pressure from his thumb on your clit is edging you closer to your release.

“J-jungkook, please, I need you,” you gasp, you're moving automatically against his fingers causing more friction, “n-need you so bad.”

“That desperate for my cock, huh baby?” He teases, smoothly sinking his fingers inside of you, “you want me to finish you off now or would you like to cum all over my cock?”

You moan at his words, back arching up against him. “Your cock, please, wanna cum all over it.”

A grunt leaves Jungkook as he imagines it before him. It doesn’t take long for him to strip off his boxers, throwing them onto the floor beside the bed. You anticipate the stretch, already clenching around nothing as Jungkook lines himself up with your entrance. You reach for his hand just as he starts pushing past your walls, stretching you open so deliciously in a way you’ll never be able to handle without gasping in pure pleasure. Jungkook intertwines his hand with yours as he keeps it pressed against the mattress right beside your head.

He bottoms out, filling you to the brim. He breathes out heavily, his breathing ragged as he  lets you adjust to his impressive width and length. “Fuck, I’ll never get tired of seeing you like this,” he rasps out as he pulls out and pushes back in, watching the way your eyes roll back in pleasure, “my pretty baby all fucked out.”

It blows your mind how he always manages to make it so dirty yet soft. You’re already a mess beneath him and he’s barely begun. “Oh god, Jungkook-”

A forceful push of his hips has you gasping, a high pitched moan tumbling from your lips. His hips connect with yours in a rhythm, skin against skin, the lewd sounds of your wetness and the feeling of Jungkook thrusting and grinding into you. His lips are back against your skin, your collarbones earning kisses and small bites, your free hand running from his lower back and up his spine to the hair in his neck. You tug at it, earning a grunt from Jungkook. Lifting his head, he looks you in the eye, his lips slightly parted as he works you both to your highs.

His eyes are soft while his actions are far from it, the look he’s giving you tells you everything he doesn’t say out loud. “Oh my god, I’m gonna- fuck,” you gasp, tightening your hold on his hand, giving his hand a squeeze.

“Me too, baby, me too,” Jungkook moans, leaning down to press his lips to yours, kissing you like it would be the last. He swallows your whimpers, your moans and gasps as your orgasm hits you hard. Jungkook follows you, his orgasm hitting him as you clench around him. He stills inside of you, moaning deeply at the feeling of you clenching and milking him for every drip of cum. He’s panting as he comes down, his face hidden in the crook of your neck. Yours and his breathing is the only thing you can hear in the room as you both try to collect yourselves. Your fingers are caressing his scalp as he stays in your arms, letting his weight rest upon you. Silence engulfs you and him, Jungkook’s breathing clashing against your neck, your fingers dancing across the skin on his back. You can feel his cum trickling out of you, but you don’t really care at this point, just enjoying the moment and worrying later about the mess that is the sheets.

Jungkook’s thoughts are running a hundred miles per hour as he lays in silence with you close against him. His thoughts shift from the first time he met you to when he first kissed you to the way you told him you loved him before he told you. Then his thoughts wander on to his daughter, the tiny person he created with you just from the love between the two of you. There are so many memories with you, moments and life events he shares with you. An idea pops into his mind, it’s something he has been thinking about for a long time, he just didn’t find the right time yet. He wants to add another meaningful celebration of life and love to the memories he shares with you.

He wants to marry you.

Jungkook already asked for your parents’ approval. They told him yes in an instant, reminding him that he has a child with you and that the two of you are already past asking for approval. That thought alone makes Jungkook chuckle softly. He really did things with you in a messy order. First he slept with you then he dated you. Then he asked you to be his girlfriend and then after a few years he accidentally got you pregnant and now he’s thinking about proposing to you.

“What?” You ask, smiling softly as you hear Jungkook chuckle.

He rolls over, his back hitting the mattress and pulling you with him to lay halfway on top of him. He smiles at you, his fingers reaching out to tuck strands of your hair behind your ears.

“It just hit me how we’ve done things in a really random order,” he tells you. Your eyebrows pull together in confusion at his words. “First we slept together and then we started dating after that, then I asked you to be my girlfriend,” he’s grinning from ear to ear as you listen and he’s talking, reminiscing the years he’s spent with you. “I got you pregnant by accident and now we’re parents and I just…”

He falls silent, his smile faltering as he looks you in the eyes. You’re looking at him with those eyes that always hold so much love for him and Areum too. Beautiful eyes that can calm him at any given time, tell him everything’s gonna be alright without you saying anything. Jungkook would do anything to look into those eyes for the rest of his life. He could just ask you, right now in this very moment. It doesn’t have to be a candlelit dinner or with rose petals. What matters is you and him together in an intimate moment where all feelings lay in front of you, bared for the both of you to see.

“Marry me.”

You freeze, your fingertips that had returned to running over his skin freeze in their movement. Jungkook can tell your eyes are watering. You open your mouth to speak, a small voice coming out as you say: “w-what?”

Jungkook nods, “you heard me, baby,” he softly says.

“I’m-” You begin but cut yourself off. Jungkook watches as a wide smile spreads across your face, the first few tears falling from your eyes and running down your cheeks. He reaches out to wipe them away, smiling softly himself. “Oh my god,” you cry.

“So, is that a yes?”

Nodding, you crawl up to wrap your arms around him in a tight hug, pressing your lips to his in a kiss. “Of course, it is! It’s a million times yes!” You say against his lips, pulling away slightly to rest your forehead against his. “I love you so much, Jungkook.”

“I love you the most, baby.”

Areum is 1 year old today.

She’s 1 year old and Jungkook isn’t sure how to handle it. His baby girl is growing up so fast and it both terrifies and amazes him. You seem to handle it pretty well, but Jungkook has a feeling you’re just very good at hiding it. There’s no way you’re not emotional about the fact that the baby you carried around for 9 months is already 1 year old.

“How’s my favorite granddaughter?” Jungkook’s mother coos as she walks right past her son and towards Areum who’s sitting on the rug in the living room, surrounded by her toys. Jungkook watches in disbelief how his mother doesn’t even give him a moment of attention, clearly only here to visit her grandchild.

“Mom, she’s your only granddaughter,” Jungkook deadpans before turning back to greet his father, “hey dad.”

Jungkook’s father gives him a tight hug before moving on to give you an even tighter hug. “How are you, ____?” He asks, smiling as he pulls away to look at you.

You smile in return. “I’m good! And you?”

“Same as always,” he shrugs, “not much happens when you reach a certain age.”

You chuckle at that, telling him to go say hi to his granddaughter. You watch as Areum greets his grandfather with a big grin, reaching out for him like she does with everyone she loves. You smile at the scenario in front of you, how Areum is the center of attention for all of her four grandparents. Your parents had arrived earlier than Jungkook’s, having kept Areum entertained for the past hour or so.

“Should we tell them today?” Jungkook asks as you join him in the kitchen, his voice low in case his mom should suddenly appear behind him. “You know, about that,” he points to the ring on your finger.

Smiling at him, you lean up and kiss him quickly on the lips. “Sure,” you agree with him, making him smile, “but remember it’s Areum’s day today. So we’ll just mention it and then move on with her birthday party.”

Jungkook nods at that. “Of course. Nothing is bigger than her 1st birthday-” he pauses at that, the fact hitting him once again. He then turns to you, giving you a confused look, “how are you not emotional about it at all? I literally cried when I gave her a bath last night.”

A laugh emits from your lips. “You cried? Because it’s your daughter's 1st birthday?”

Offended by how you’re finding his devastation humorous, Jungkook scoffs. “Yeah, as a matter of fact, I did.”

You’re smiling at him in adoration as you wrap your arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. Jungkook hugs you back, pressing his lips to your temple. Areum’s laughter flows through the apartment causing the two of you to laugh yourselves. It’s like sweet music to your ears when Areum has a fit of giggles.

“I adore her so much, ____,” Jungkook suddenly says as he watches from the kitchen, watching how Areum is surrounded by her grandparents, having the best 1st birthday. You’re constantly smiling, you have been ever since Areum was born. The joy she brought with her when she came into the world is unlimited and you feel like you’re on top of the world for creating such a happy, lively small human being.

“I know, baby,” you tighten your arms around him, giving him a squeeze, “she’s the best thing that’s happened to us.”

[atlafan]

Open Door Policy - One Shot

a/n: so, I love a good professor!harry fic, but I don’t always love when he gets involved with a student, so y/n is his TA. He’s 26, and she’s 23, so not too weird, right? Anyways, this took me a few days to write, and I didn’t mean for it to be this long, but here we are. This is a slow burn fam, like...buckle up. Reblogs are always very kind and helpful! Not proofread. 

Warnings: angst, fluff, and smut! 

Words: 21.5K 

It was Y/N’s second year in grad school. She knew how to handle her workload on top of still making time for fun. She was still able to go out to the bar, and party with her friends. However, she was serious about her research. She had a “big girl” apartment that she shared with two friends, each having their own room. Grad school was expensive, and even though she had a decent job working at the local café, it wasn’t enough to cover her bills. Luckily, she got a grant to be TA this semester, which was perfect because she was interested in teaching at a collegiate level at some point. Her excitement dwindled slightly when she got the email about what professor she’d be paired up with.

“Who is it?” Nessa asks, plopping down on the couch with her.

“Dr. Styles.” Y/N groans.

“Tell me, why is that a problem?” Charlotte asks, coming over with a bowl of popcorn so they could start their movie night. “He’s so fucking hot.”

“Exactly! How am I supposed to concentrate?! I had him my senior year for an elective and it was awful. I was flustered all the time. He’s such a nice guy too, I missed a class where we had a test and he let me make it up, no questions asked.”

“Great, so he’s a good professor to learn from.” Nessa says. “Oh, maybe you’ll get a closer look at some of his tattoos.”

“There’s nothing to be nervous about, Y/N, he’s only a few years older than us, you know?” Charlotte shrugs. “Maybe you’ll fall in love.” She teases her.

“Mhm, yeah, because I’m sure a guy who has his PhD in Computer Science is just dying to go out with a girl who’s only a TA so she can afford her last year of school.”

“What class are you even helping him with? You’re not specializing in CS.” Nessa says.

“Apparently it’s for the section of Web Expressions he teaches, that was the class I took with him. It was really easy, you just learn the basics of HTML and then build your own website.”

“Did you just say that was easy?” Nessa scoffs.

“My older sister ended up helping me a lot because she had a myspace back in the day, I guess you needed HTML for that.” Y/N shrugs. “It’ll be a good experience for me.”

“Okay, but you’re just specializing in Curriculum and Instruction, so-“

“Yeah, that involves Instructional Design, so I know about this stuff. I’m just not looking forward to doing it with him.” She sighs.

“Could be worse.” Charlotte smirks. “You could have gotten with some old fart who would let you flounder.”

“Very true.” She closes her laptop and sets it on the coffee table. “Alright, let’s get this HSM party started.”

//

A week later Y/N received an email from Dr. Styles to meet with her so they could discuss the class and make sure they were on the same page about the syllabus. She was a nervous wreck. Y/N used to avoid his office like the plague, too afraid to be alone with him. It’s not that Dr. Styles was a creep or ever put off any inappropriate vibes, he just had this sort of intimidating stare to him. Even when he’d laugh, seeing him soften was intimidating. The sound of his deep, raspy voice was almost a little too soothing, and she was obsessed with his sense of style. His nails were always painted different colors, and he had the cutest pair of round glasses that would sit on the tip of his nose.

Even though it was August, and still very hot out, Y/N wanted to make a good, professional impression. So, she decides on a pair of white slacks that have a tie in the front, a white tank top tucked in, and a navy blue three-quarter sleeve blazer. It was too humid to leave her hair down, so she puts it up in a cute, messy bun. She puts on a little makeup, grabs her laptop bag, and out the door she goes. She puts her sunglasses on immediately, almost getting blinded by the blazing sun.

She had never been in an academic building at this point in the summer. There were a few faculty puttering around, getting their offices situated for the semester. She smiles at a few of them as she takes her sunglasses off. She heads up to the third story where Dr. Styles’ office was. There was no a/c in this building, but luckily the room they’d be teaching in would have it due to all the computers.

His door was open, and she nearly walked right by him. She back peddles and already feels weak kneed. He had his glasses on, pushed closer to his face than usual, a small fan on his desk blowing the hair that wasn’t in the little sprout on the top of his head back, and he was wearing a white t-shirt.

“Um, Dr. Styles?” She nervously taps on the outside of the doorframe. He looks up from his computer and smiles.

“Miss Y/L/N?”

“Yes.” She smiles back at him.

“Come on in, have a seat.”

It was the accent, that fucking British accent that she remembered was the most distracting part about him. He had this drawl to his voice that was irresistible.

“Do you want me to, um…” She points to the door.

“No, no, too bloody hot to have that thing closed. The little window I get barely opens so I only have this fan to really keep me cool.” He frowns slightly at her appearance. “Why’d you get so dressed up? You must be sweltering.”  

“I’m okay!” She blushes, and takes the seat in front of his desk. “I just…you know, wanted to look nice.” His eyebrows raise slightly. “I mean, like, not nice, but professional.”

“Well, don’t feel like you need to be dressed up like this all the time. I want you to be comfortable. You don’t see me all dressed up.” He smirks.

“You’re a tenure-track faculty, you can do whatever you want.”

“Not true.” He leans forward and rests his chin on his palm. “I can’t call a student an absolute moron when they ask me a stupid question.”

“I thought there were no stupid questions.” She smiles.

“God, there’s tons.” He scoffs and sits up straighter. “But we have to encourage students to speak up when they’re confused, so.” He shrugs. ���Anyways, let’s look at the course, yeah?”

“Okay.” She takes her laptop out and sets it on his desk, scooting closer.

“I added you to the moodle page, so you should have full access to everything. You’ll be grading a bit, so I wanted to make sure you knew how to get in there.”

Once Y/N logs in, and clicks into the course, she smirks.

“What?”

“Looks at the exact same.”

“What do you mean?”

“I actually, uh, took this class with you a couple of years ago.” She furrows her brows at the page. “You know, you should really update this, it’s lazy to use the same design year after year.” She sort of says it without thinking and then feels embarrassed when she looks back up to meet his intimidating gaze.

“Interesting, usually I’m good with names…yours doesn’t ring a bell at all.” He looks at his own computer and crosses his arms. “And it’s not that I’m lazy, I don’t have a lot of control over the physical design. The assignments are much different, those I keep fresh.” He turns to look at her again. “I also teach eighteen credits worth of courses, I don’t exactly have time to sit and revamp all of them.”

“Well, maybe I could do that. I’ve taken a lot of Instructional Design courses.” She says brightly. “Studies show that students do better when their course pages are more inviting.”

“Alright, since you’re the expert, I’ll let you take the lead on that. Can we get back to the material itself? I have to make sure you know what you’re doing.” He squints at her. “You really took this class?”

“Yes.”

“And I was your professor?”

“Yes, Dr. Styles.”

He plucks his fingers over his lips.

“I feel bad for not remembering you.”

“It’s okay, I sort of kept to myself. You late me retake a test that I missed once, though.”

“Oh!” He snaps his fingers. “You missed class because you had a bad stomach bug.”

“Yeah.” She blushes.

“Poor thing, those are the worst when you don’t have mum around to help take care of you.”

“It’s alright, I recovered.”

“Clearly.” He smiles.

They spend the next hour or so going over the course and the materials. He tells her what he’ll need from her specifically. He’ll do most of the teaching, and she’ll bebop around helping students with questions. Oh, and grading, she’ll be helping with a lot of grading. He notices her wipe some sweat from her brow, and he frowns.

“Do you want a water? I have some in the fridge.”

“That would be great, thank you.”

He wheels over to his mini fridge and tosses her a water bottle. As she takes a sip, she notices him still looking at her.

“You can take that off, you know?”

“What?”

“Your blazer.”

“No, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m, uh, only wearing a tank top underneath and I wouldn’t feel comfortable being so…exposed.”

“Oh!” He blushes. “I’m sorry, I hope my comment didn’t-“

“It’s fine.”

“I just hope you know I wasn’t trying to-“

“I didn’t.” She clears her throat. “So, I have full reigns to redesign some things?”

“Sure.” He shrugs. “Just as long as I can still navigate it.”

“Isn’t your PhD in Computer Science? You should be fine.” She closes her laptop and sticks it in her bag.

“Right…” He pulls his calendar up on his computer. “What’s your class schedule like?”

“With this one, I only have one other class that’s in person, the rest are online.”

“Perfect, then it should be easy to build in some office hours for you. We’ll have to share mine, I hope that’s alright. Not every TA gets their own office, but there’s plenty of room in here for two. This office actually used to have to people in it, I’m having a small desk brought in for you.”

“Oh, um, thanks. I also work a lot at the café down town, but it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“You work at Bento’s?”

“Yeah.”

“I go there all the time, how have I not seen you?”

“I work in the back as a baker.”

“Oh cool, I actually worked in a bakery when I was younger.”

“I know.” She rolls her eyes. “You used to mention it all the time in class.”

“I did?”

“Yes.” She chuckles. “You made it sound like so much fun it’s actually what made me apply to Bento’s in the first place.”

“Ah, well, glad I could help.”

They decide on the office hours that will work best, and then he dismisses her. Just as she’s about to leave, he says her name.

“Yeah?”

“When it’s just us feel free to call me Harry. You and I don’t need to be so formal, alright?”

“Okay.” She smiles. “See you next week.”

The second she gets outside the building, she rips her blazer off. She gets back to her apartment as quickly as possible, changes into a bathing suit, and gets in the pool outside. Charlotte and Nessa were already out there, sitting on chairs in the shade. Y/N gets out and towels off, sitting down with them.

“Needed to cool off after your time with Dr. Styles, huh?” Charlotte winks at her.

“Shut up.” Y/N nudges her friend. “It was so fucking hot in his office. I know it’ll cool down eventually, and I was also way overdressed. He only had a t-shirt and jeans on.”

“Did he remember you?” Nessa asks.

“Not at first, but of course he remembered the reason I missed class was because I had a stomach bug, how embarrassing.”

“Why is that embarrassing?” Charlotte asks.

“I don’t want him to think about me being all…icky.”

“Do you seriously still have a crush on him?” Nessa asks.

“It’s not a crush, he’s just insanely attractive. He looked so cute being all casual today.” She whines. “It doesn’t matter, he’s twenty-six and probably has a girlfriend or something, how could he not?”

“I don’t know, I wouldn’t wanna date a guy smarter than me. He probably man-splains all the time.” Charlotte says. “I bet he’s good for a quick fuck, and that’s about it.”

“I guess Y/N will find out.” Nessa giggles.

“You two are the worst.” She groans.

//

“Hey, Y/N!”

Y/N was in the back at Bento’s getting some bread proofed and ready for the morning crew. One of her coworkers was calling for her.

“Yeah?”

“There’s some guy out front asking for you?”

“What?” She wipes her hands on her apron and walks out front. She freezes when she sees Harry. She had a hairnet on, her face was laced with sweat, and she smelled like bread, which you would think would smell good, but it doesn’t. It had been a couple of days since their meeting.

“Sorry, had to see it for myself.” He smirks.

“See what, Dr. Styles?” She walks around the counter to speak with him.

“Harry.” He corrects her. “See you in action, of course.” He takes a sip from his drink. “I see you’ve already made some changes to the course.”

“Yeah, uh, it was pretty easy.”

“Well, it looks fantastic. I was going to email you, but I was stopping in here and I thought I’d see if you were working so I could just tell you in person.”

“Oh.” She blushes. “Thank you, that means a lot.”

“Well, I’ll let you get back to it. Don’t wanna get you in trouble.” He waves as he leaves, and she stands there stunned.

“Who the fuck was that?” Her coworker asks.

“Um, I’m his TA this semester. He wanted to tell me I did a good job on something.”

“Oh, shit.”

“What?”

“He’s gonna fuck you.”

“Stop!” She swats her hand at them. “Go take drink orders, I’m going back to the proofer.”

Harry was just being nice, and maybe he was looking for a good laugh. She shakes the thought from her head, he didn’t want to fuck her. He was way more professional than that.

//

On her first day as a TA, she decided on a pair of jean capris, and a light blouse. She left her hair down since it wasn’t humid. She felt more like herself, which was good. She goes to her now shared office with Harry first, just to drop her things off.

“Good morning.” She says shyly as she comes in. The small desk he had brought in for her was there, and there was a small plant waiting for her on it.

“Morning, Y/N, are you excited?”

“More so nervous, but yeah. What’s this?” She points to the plant.

“Got you a little something for your desk. It’s really easy to take care of, should only need water once a week.”

“Oh, thank you.” She tucks some hair behind her ear and sits down.

“Since it’s syllabus week, today will be really easy. We’ll go over a few things and then I’ll probably let them go early.”

“Alright.”

“I’ll give you a couple of minutes to introduce yourself too.”

“Okay.”

“Do you have a water bottle with you or anything?”

“Yeah, right here.” She takes it out of her bag.

“Great, a little trick I learned when I first started teaching is that sometimes you can end up answering a question you ask the students because you’re so nervous when no one answers right away. So, if you take a moment to take a sip of your water it gives them more time to speak up.”

“Thanks, that’s a really good tip.”

“You’ll do great.” He looks down at his watch. “Come on, we should head to the classroom, make sure all the computers are working.”

Y/N nods and follows him out. Her eyes drift down to how his butt looks in his khakis. He had a simple green t-shirt tucked into them. He was effortlessly handsome. The cool of the a/c in the computer lab helps snap her out of ogling. After they check the rows of computers, only one wasn’t working, so Y/N takes a DO NOT USE sign onto it.

“Brilliant.” He says to her.

Students start trickling in, and choosing their seats. The class was mostly boys, and only a couple of girls. Unfortunately, that was typical for courses like this, even if it was just a gen ed that literally anyone could take.

“Morning everyone, I’m Dr. Styles, and I’d prefer you call me that. I worked a long time to be called that, so please don’t call me by my first name. You can call me professor, though, if you feel comfortable.” He smiles at the class. “We’re very lucky this semester, I have a TA that will be able to help you with assignments.” He gestures to Y/N.”

“Hi, yeah, my name’s Y/N, you can feel free to just call me that. Um, I’m in my second year of grad school. I’m studying curriculum and instructional design. I’m excited to be with you all this semester.”

Y/N takes a seat to the side of the room while Harry pulls up the course and the syllabus on the projector.

“Now, who here is a CS major?” Most of the class raises their hand. “Right, try branching out for your gen eds, your eyes will bleed if you don’t.” He jokes. “What about those of you who aren’t CS, just shout it out.”

“Communication.”

“Undecided.”

“IT.”

“Psychology.”

“Wonderful, glad we’ll have a little bit of variety. Y/N redesigned this class, so I’m hoping you’ll appreciate what she’s done to make things easier for you.”

Y/N takes attendance, and then sits back down so Harry can go over the syllabus and explain some of the more intricate assignments. He also explains his door is always open for anyone that needs extra help. He wanted to make a good impression since he knew some of the students would end up in some of his higher level courses.

“Please take some time to go over some of the basic codes and short cuts we’ll be using quite a bit. For our next class we’re going to work on a site together, alright?” There’s a hum of agreement throughout the class. “Great, and just so you know, Y/N will be doing the majority of the grading, so it’s not my good side you’ll want to be on, it’s hers.” He grins. “Alright, you’re all dismissed, enjoy the nice weather.”

Everyone files out, and Y/N takes a deep breath. She walks with Harry down to his office and she plops down in her seat.

“Seems like it’ll be a good group.” He opens one of his drawers. “Here, forgot to give you a key. You can come here whenever you want, feel free to do your homework if there’s nothing to be graded.”

“Thanks.” She takes it from him and puts it on her key ring. “It’ll be nice to have a quiet space, actually. One of my roommates is getting her master’s in theater education, and my other roommate is getting her master’s in music education, so it gets kind loud from time to time.”

“Then definitely come here anytime you like.” He smiles and sits in his chair.

“When does your next class start?”

“I’ve got about an hour or so before I need to go back to the computer lab for my computing fundamentals class. I teach two sections of that back to back. Then that’s it for today.”

“Does it get annoying to teach the same class back to back?”

“Not really.” He shrugs. “I’m used to it by now anyways.”

“Dr. Styles?” A female student taps on the outside of the door. “How was your su…oh, you’re in here with someone.” She frowns.

“I sure am, Melanie.” Harry seems to look a little nervous. “I’ll be rather busy today, but we can catch up soon, alright?”

“Oh, okay.” She glares at Y/N before leaving. Harry sighs heavily once she’s gone.

“That’s one of my frequent flyers.” He rolls his eyes. “Her and a couple other girls try to come by and chat…” He runs a hand through his hair. “I’m actually kind of glad you’ll be around, I’ve seen her fly out of here so fast.”

“Does she…have a crush on you or something?”

“I’m afraid so.” Harry sighs. “It’s partly why I keep my door open when I meet with students. I used to keep it closed to have some privacy, cause sometimes there’s personal things students want to talk about, but she came in last year…I don’t know, I just keep my door open now.”

“That sucks.” She turns to her laptop to start getting some work done. “Such is the life of the hot, young professor, unfortunately.” Once again, Y/N said something without really thinking about it. She really needs to work on a filter. When she turns around to look at him to apologize, he was looking at her, face flushed. “I’m sorry, I just meant-“

“I have some emails to catch up on, so I’m gonna put by earbuds in and just focus on that.”

Y/N nods and turns back to her computer. She sighs heavily. The last thing she wanted to do was make the poor guy feel more tense than he already did. It must be painfully awkward to have students throwing themselves at you all the time, and what’s worse is that he feels so uncomfortable that he feels like he can’t even close his door. Y/N wanted to know what exactly Melanie did. It couldn’t have been so bad because she was still coming by to see him. Maybe Harry just picked up on a vibe, and got ahead of the problem before it got worse.

Forty or so minutes later, Harry tells Y/N he’s off to class, but she can feel free to stay if she wanted. She smiles and continues working on a paper she already had assigned for one of her courses. It was really nice to just have a space to work.

“Dr…oh…is this not Dr. Styles’ office anymore.” The girl standing in the doorway frowns.

“Oh! No, it is. He’s teaching right now. I’m his TA, Y/N, so we’re sharing. Can I help you with anything?”

“No, um, I was just coming to say hi, but I’ll catch him later.”

“What’s your name? I can tell him you stopped by, then he can email you or something.”

“It’s Bridget, and he doesn’t need to email me. I was just coming to say hi and chat about summer.” She sighs. “Sorry to bother you.”

Before Y/N can say it wasn’t a bother, the girl is gone. Harry really seemed to have a fan club so far. Y/N had professors she loved, but it was the first day of classes, she never went around trying to catch up with them. She decides to close the door a bit, maybe if people came by they would just assume he wasn’t there.

Y/N’s eyes start to feel droopy. It hits her that she’s been up since four this morning, having pulled an early shift at Bento’s. She decides to cross her arms on her desk, and rest her head on them. Her music was playing softly in the background, and her eyes eventually flutter closed.

Harry comes back from his second section of Computer Fundamentals and is confused when he sees his door only open a crack. He opens it the rest of the way and stops short when he sees Y/N resting peacefully. He wonders how long she’s been asleep for. He didn’t want her to be too groggy. He also knew some students from his previous classes may stop by for some clarification, so as he much he didn’t want to, he had to wake her up.

“Y/N?” He says softly, tapping her on the shoulder.

“Mm?” She grunts.

“Gotta wake up, love.”

Her eyes snap open. She sits up and watches him as he sits at his desk, pulling some papers out of his bag. She knew it was a pet name often used where he was from, but holy mother of God did it sound good hearing him call her that.

“Sorry, I…oh wow, I slept for way too long.”

“You didn’t seem so tired this morning, are you feeling alright?”

“Oh yeah, I’m fine. I worked an early shift at the bakery this morning, so it must just be catching up with me.” She stretches her arms out. “I think I’m gonna head out now. Oh, some student named Bridget came by earlier, but you were in class.”

“Alright.” He sighs. “Thanks, see you Wednesday.”

“See you Wednesday.” She smiles, gathers her things, and heads out.

//

At the end of the first week of classes, Harry was exhausted. It was always like this by the time that first Friday hit. The faculty meeting was the most draining part of it. He didn’t subject Y/N to it since she wasn’t helping with a major course. He had whined about it in front of her, though, so when he got back to his office he found a cupcake from Bento’s waiting for him.

It took a couple of weeks, but Y/N was able to relax around Harry. He noticed this right away. She was way less nervous, and he felt happy knowing he wasn’t making her feel intimidated. He was also happy for the help. She was able to field a lot of questions for the students, and her grading things was already saving him a ton of time.

The semester was off to a great start. Y/N would often bring Harry extra pastries from Bento’s, and he would praise her for how good they tasted.

“If those whole Instructional Design thing doesn’t work out, you should just open up your own bakery.” Is what he would often say after stuffing his face. It would make her giggle and blush. She enjoyed pleasing him.

They were having a peaceful Tuesday afternoon, holding office hours. Mostly working on their own, but occasionally chatting. Well, it was peaceful, until someone walked through the door.

“Harry.” An angry woman holding a small shih tzu and a large bag says. “I can’t take care of him Max anymore. I’m moving and my new place can’t have pets.”

“Kelly, let’s go out into the hall, yeah?”

She looks over at Y/N, who was stunned. Harry was standing up and walking around his desk to lead the woman out, but she won’t budge.

“Make whoever this is leave, you have an office for a reason.”

“I don’t have an office for personal matters, come on.” He takes the dog, Max, from her and cuddles him to his chest. Harry gets a lick to his chin. “Aw, you miss Daddy, Maxy?”

The woman rolls her eyes, and lets Harry lead her into the hallway. Y/N hears some muffled discussion, the woman raising her voice more than him.

“You could have looked for a place that allowed pets. This is so typical of you. You fought me on keeping him, and the second it got difficult you wanna just dump him with me.”

“I’m never home, Harry! It’s not fair to him.”

“And you think I’m home more?”

“More than me.” She scoffs. “You don’t have a choice, I leave at the end of the week.”

“You don’t even look like you’re going to miss him.”

“I thought I wanted him, but every time I looked at him I just thought of you, and now I can’t stand him. I’m moving to have a fresh start. Whatever happens to him is up to you now.” She drops the large bag full of Max’s things at his feet and walks away.

Harry sighs and kisses the top of Max’s head. He leans down to grab the bag and walks back into his office.

“I’m so sorry you had to see that.”

“It’s okay.” She extends her hands out. “Can I hold him? He’s so cute.” She pouts.

“Um, sure.” Harry hands Max over to Y/N.

“Oh my goodness.” She gets a lick on her cheek. “How old is he?”

“A little over a year.” Harry mumbles as he goes through the bag. “I have no idea how I’m going to make this work. I can’t bring him with me every day, it’s not allowed. Once in a while is fine, but it’s not like he’s a therapy dog.”

“I can help! My apartment is pet friendly for small dogs. I could just meet you here and you can drop him off to me.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that. You have so much going on between this, your own school work, and Bento’s.”

“I really wouldn’t mind, I know you end up staying here late a lot of the time, I could take him for walks and stuff, tire him out so you can just have a snuggle with him when you get home.” She holds him up to her face. Lucky dog, she thinks to herself.

“You’re my TA, Y/N, not my dog sitter.” He sighs. “I’m sure I could find another student that needs some extra cash-“

“Wouldn’t need to pay me.” She smiles. “Please, he’s so cute, I really wanna help. It won’t stress me out, I promise.”

“We’ll see, it would only be on my busy days.” He takes Max back from her, and pulls his dog bed from the bag. “Go on, get comfy.” He sets him down and pats the top of his head. He takes out his water bowl and pours some into it for him.

“Feel free to not answer, but who was she?”

“My ex…” Harry sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He sits down and watches Max lap up at his water bowl. “She insisted on a small dog because they’re easier to take care of.” He rolls his eyes. “But I missed him a lot, so I’m not complaining. We were together a couple of years, lived together for a bit, thought it would be smart to get a dog like a lot of people do when they’re getting more serious. But we started fighting a lot, we both got busier, neither of us wanted to compromise, and so it goes. She took him with her. We both got new places and have barely spoken.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, we weren’t right for each other, and he sort of made us realize that.” Max yips at Harry. “That’s right, buddy.” Harry chuckles. “We called it quits roughly six months ago, it’s all good now. I thought I’d miss her, but I missed him more.”

“I get that, I dated this guy for a bit in undergrad, but I definitely didn’t see it lasting.” She rolls her eyes.

“Guys at that age are really immature, anyways. You’ve got plenty of time to meet someone.” He turns back to his computer and gets back into his emails. He looks over his calendar and groans. “Alright, I’ll definitely need your help with him.” He turns back to her. “I give a lecture on Thursday evenings, so no one would be home with him literally day.”

“No problem at all, I can bring him home with me and I can just drop him off to you.” She smiles. “My roommates love dogs too, they’ll be excited.”

“I’ll need your phone number, just to get updates and stuff, it’ll be easier than email.”

“Sure!” She hands him her phone immediately. “Feels silly to not have exchanged numbers sooner.”

“Was sort of trying to keep a level of professionalism between us, but I suppose you’re gonna be helping me with my pup you’ll be more than just a colleague.” He puts his number in and texts himself. “You’re sure this won’t be too much for you?”

“Not at all.”

“At least let me pay you.”

“No way.”

“Y/N.” He sighs. “I’m gonna pay you, just deal with it, alright?” There was that intimidating side of him again. Y/N just swallows and nods. “Good.”

//

Nessa and Charlotte loved when Y/N would bring Max home with her. They teased her a bit at first because it was like her and Harry now owned this dog together, but she explained she was just helping him out.

“At least now you know for sure he’s single, and that he’s not afraid of commitment.” Nessa winks.

“Oh stop.” Y/N nudges her.

“He has your number now, does he ever text you about anything other than Max?”

“Not really, although he’ll send a funny gif as a response sometimes. He’s got a good sense of humor. You should see him in class.” Y/N’s phone buzzes and sees a text from Harry. “Speak of the Devil.”

Harry: I’m running late tonight, I’m so sorry. Would it be too much to ask to have you just get him settled at my place? There’s a spare key in the plant by the door.

Y/N’s eyes grow wide.

“Oh my god, he wants me to bring Max to his house tonight.”

“It’s happening!” Charlotte squeals. “Have you eaten much pineapple lately?”

“Would you shut up?! He doesn’t want to fuck me. He’s way too professional.”

Y/N: of course!

Harry: you’re a lifesaver. I’ve got some frozen pizza, feel free to make yourself at home until I get in. I won’t have you waiting too long.

“Oh wow, I’m gonna be there until he gets in…” She looks at her friends. “Maybe I’ll go shave my legs, you know, just in case.”

//

Y/N finds the key quickly, and walks into Harry’s home. He didn’t live too far from campus. He had a nice town home. Max scamps inside and immediately goes over to his toys in the living room. Y/N takes her shoes off and leaves them in the mudroom. Harry kept his home clean, and it made Y/N smile. There were some papers on his kitchen table that had grade marks on them. She wondered if he had a home office or not.

She goes into his freezer to find the pizza, and preheats the over. Once the pizza is baking, she plops onto the couch, pulling Max into her lap and turning the TV on. He has Netflix, so she click into that. She pouts when she sees he watches a lot of Rom Coms, it was too cute. She puts on The Office and has a slice of pizza. She didn’t need to work until tomorrow afternoon, so she didn’t mind that it was getting to be a little later on a Thursday, and it wasn’t like she went to raging parties anymore either.

Eventually, she dozed off. She couldn’t help it. Harry had a really comfortable couch, and plush blanket to curl up in, and Max was just as cozy to sleep with. Harry had texted Y/N, but she didn’t answer because she was asleep. The lecture he had ran late, and then he had to meet with some students to help them. Not to mention it was raining heavily, and he needed to drive a little slower than usual. So he didn’t pull into his driveway until 10PM. He sighs, feeling terrible that Y/N was still there.

He quietly enters his home, but it didn’t matter because Max hears him, wakes up, and starts barking. This startles Y/N awake.

“Shh, Max, it’s just Daddy.” He scoops him up and walks into the living room. Y/N was rubbing her eyes, trying to wake up. “I’m so sorry, I-“

“It’s okay.” She yawns. “I wrapped up the pizza and put it in the fridge for you.”

“Oh, um, thank you. Think I’m about to pass out though.”

“Don’t be silly.” She gets up and stretches. “You need to eat something.”

She brushes by him to go into his kitchen and take the pizza out. She puts a paper-towel over it and pops it in the microwave.

“I really am sorry you’re here so late.”

“It’s okay.” She leans against the counter. “What’s the lecture for, anyways?”

“It’s actually a graduate level CS systems course. I couldn’t turn the money down when they offered it to me. I figured since it’s only once a week it would be terrible, and it’s not, it’s just exhausting.”

The microwave beeps, and Y/N take the plate out for him, removing the paper towel.

“See, now it’s not all dried out.” She smiles.

“Neat trick, I’ll have to remember that.” The rain taps violently on the window in the kitchen.

“Yikes, I didn’t even know it was supposed to rain tonight. It wasn’t like this when I drove over.” She bites her bottom lip and looks outside.

Harry finishes his pizza and puts the plate in the sink. He sets Max down and he runs upstairs to his dog bed in Harry’s room.

“Listen, uh, if you want I can set up the pull out for you. Or I could sleep on it and you could take my bed…if you don’t feel safe driving home.”

“Oh, I couldn’t take your bed.” She turns to him. “But I may take your couch. I was sleeping on it fine as is, no need to set it up.”

“Well, let me at least get you a proper pillow and something to change into, yeah?”

“Okay.”

“Right, um, well you know where the bathroom down here is, feel free to use whatever to wash up. I’ll run up to grab what you need, be down in a sec.”

Harry changes into his own pj’s, and finds some spare pants and a t-shirt for Y/N. He’s even able to find a spare toothbrush. He hustles back down and see’s Y/N bending over to charge her phone using the plug behind the tide table next to the couch. Harry clears his throat to get her attention.

“Here, you can wear this, and he’s a toothbrush.”

“Thanks for letting crash here, I get nervous driving at night when it’s like that outside.”

“It’s the least I could do, you gave up your Thursday night to…” He looks at the TV screen and his cheeks grow hot. Y/N looks over at the TV as well and wonders why The Office might embarrass him.

“Is it okay that I used your Netflix?”

“Yeah, I…god, it’s just, you’ve seen what I watch.” He rubs the back of his neck.

“I didn’t snoop or anything, promise.” She smiles and takes the clothes and toothbrush from him.

He opens up the coffee table to take out a pillow and another blanket.

“Well, I’ll be right upstairs if you need anything…um, goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Harry.”

She wanted to ask if he wanted to watch a little TV with her, but he looked so tired. She lays on the couch after getting changed. His bed clothes swam on her, and she loved it. They smelled just like him and it made her smile. She texts in the group chat so the girls know what’s up. They tell her just to go crawl into his bed, and she rolls her eyes. She falls back asleep after another couple of episodes of The Office.

The next morning, her eyes flutter open when the light from the sliding door in the living room hit her. She hears Harry shuffling around upstairs.

“Gotta be quiet, Max. Y/N is sleeping.” She hears him whisper and it makes her smile. She decides to pretend to be asleep as to not rile the dog up.

She hears the door open and close, and that’s when she knows Harry’s gone to take Max for a walk. She gets up and folds the blankets, and puts the pillow on top. She figures he’ll want to wash it. She goes into the bathroom to do her business, but doesn’t change just yet, she didn’t want to leave the comfort of his clothes. She does, however, put her bra on. She didn’t want to bounce around and make him uncomfortable.

Harry comes back in with a beanie on, cover the beautiful curls Y/N adored so much. He was wearing grey joggers, and a black t-shirt. Max runs right over to Y/N.

“Morning.” Harry says.

“Morning.” She pats Max’s head.

“Sleep alright?”

“Mhm, thank you.”

“I’m gonna make some breakfast, you hungry?”

“Sure, I could eat.” She smiles.

He smiles back and opens up the fridge. Y/N grabs the dog food and gets Max’s bowl filled. She sees Harry starting up the coffee pot, and then going back to the fridge for eggs.

“Eggs and toast alright?”

“Sounds great.”

Harry gets a pan heated up and cracks four eggs into it.

“You working at Bento’s today?”

“Yeah, not until this afternoon though, no worries.”

“Oh good, I would have felt bad if I was keeping you.”

“You’re not.” She sits up on the counter and watches him cook the eggs. He moves to the toaster and puts for pieces of bread in. “This is a nice place.”

“Thanks, sort of found it in a scramble, but it gets the job done. Would have liked more than one bedroom, but oh well.” Harry flips all of the eggs over so they’ll be sunny side down. “Want cheese?”

“Yes, please.” She hops off the counter to grab a couple of mugs for the coffee.

“I have to apologize, I don’t have any cream for that.”

“Sugar?”

He slides the sugar bowl down to her and she smiles. Once everything is done they sit down at the kitchen table.

“Mm, this is delicious, thank you.”

“S’just a fried egg.” He chuckles. “But I’m glad you like it.”

“Do you have to go to campus today?”

“Not technically, but I will just to get some work done. I’ll bring Max with me. He likes the little dog bed I’ve put under my desk.”

“He’s really such a love bug. Snuggled with me last night and everything. My roommates love him too.”

“You’ve been such a big help in so many ways. Don’t know what I’ll do without you next semester.”

“I’m applying for more TA positions, maybe they’ll stick me with you again.”

“Wouldn’t you want more experience with a different class?”

“It doesn’t really matter.” She shrugs. “It would be cool to work with you over winter break to redesign your other courses.”

“Man, if I didn’t have to do that myself…hm, maybe I could put a good word in. That is, if you don’t mind being stuck with me again.”

“Stuck with you? Hello, this is going way better than I thought. I was sort of nervous to be your TA at first.”

“You were?” He frowns.

“You’re a little intimidating.”

“I don’t mean to be.”

“I know, it’s just the way you come off sometimes. You’re hilarious when you want to be.”

“Thanks.” He smirks and continues to eat. He looks at her and furrows his brows. “Feel free to keep those.”

“What?”

“The clothes I let you borrow, feel free to just keep ‘em if you want. I don’t much wear those pants anymore, and I have a dozen t-shirts.”

“Oh, um, thank you. Might take you up on that, I’m pretty cozy.”

She helps clean up the dishes and then gathers her things. He walks her out to her car.

“Thanks again for watching him.”

“Of course, I’ll see you Monday morning.”

“See you, have a good weekend, love.”

Her heart skips a beat as he turns and walks back inside. She takes a deep breath as she gets into her car. It was cloudy on the drive home, but at least it wasn’t raining. The second she gets through the door Nessa and Charlotte grill her for details, and they were highly disappointed that the only thing they shared was breakfast.

“It was really domestic, though, it was nice.” Y/N explains. “He was so cute while he made me breakfast. He’s so kind. He even let me keep his clothes, and he wants me to be his TA again next semester. He literally said he wouldn’t know what to do without me.”

“Yeah, because you’ve volunteered to do everything for him except suck his dick.” Charlotte scoffs. “You said he’s been broken up for a little over six months right? Do you think he’s gotten his dick wet since then?”

“Charlotte!” Y/N giggles. “He’s a grown man, he can do what he wants. I bet he has, he easily could have had a rebound, although, he seems really respectful, so who knows if he’s even into hooking up.”

“Right, like when you told us he always keeps his office door open.”

“I feel bad, I’m there when some of those girls come to chat with him, and you can tell they just make him uncomfortable.” She shakes her head. “I think he and I are, like, friends now. I like what we have going, I’m not going to rock the boat. It could really complicate things.”

“So, would you say now that you’ve gotten to know him better your crush is less…apparent?” Nessa asks.

“God no! We mesh really well, we think a lot of the same things are funny…” She wines slightly. “It’s truly unfair.” She sighs. “Right person, wrong time.”

//

It was hard to stay awake during your shift at the bakery, but you made it through. You were thankful you only needed to be there until about dinner time. You had to be back in Saturday morning for open, but that didn’t stop you and your friends from going out to the bar for a couple of drinks.

It gave the three of you time to catch up and complain about coursework. Nessa was directing a production at the university, and she still had students who weren’t off-book, and Charlotte had to deal with pretentious music bros who really liked to man-splain the music industry to her. Y/N felt lucky that the majority of her classes were online.

“Okay, I have to ask, are there any students in class you think have crushes on each other?” Nessa asks her, sipping from her straw.

“Oh, for sure. There are these two boys, they don’t sit next to each other, but you can tell they’re friends. One of them always looks behind to the other so they can make a face. It’s too cute.”

They were at a more adult bar tonight. It’s not that they didn’t like the college bars they were so used to going to, but if they went there then that meant getting shitfaced and staying on the dancefloor until close. It also made things awkward when running into students. So the three of them felt safe here, they could really relax.

“Oh my fucking god.” Charlotte says. “Dr. Styles just walked in, and fuck, he’s here with a couple of really hot guys.”

“What?!” Y/N was buzzed, and she didn’t want Harry to see her like this. She wanted his image of her to remain sweet and professional. She peers over her shoulder to look at him, and her eyes widen.

He wasn’t wearing his glasses, he had a floral patterned shirt on that had the first few buttons undone, and a pair of black jeans to match. They weren’t skinny jeans or anything, but they sure as fuck were working for him. Both of his friends were a little shorter, but both equally as handsome. The three walk right by the bar and grab a booth.

“This is bad.” Y/N groans. “He looks so fucking good.”

“Who knew he was so tatted up?!” Nessa says. “I thought it was just his arms, but did you see his collar bones? We love a man who has going attire.”

The bar was starting to get more crowded, and louder as it got later. Music was blaring from the speakers, but all Y/N could think about was Harry. She wondered if he would venture to her area of the bar to order his drinks. One of his friends went up first, on Nessa’s left.

“Hey, Niall, what can I get for you?” The bartender asks him.

“Bradly, so good to see yeh, I’ll take a pint of Guinness, Lou’s gonna have a pale ale, and Harry’ll have a Corona with lime.”

“You got it.”

Niall drums his fingers on the bar. Nessa was sweating. She had a boyfriend, so she would never do anything, but fuck, that Irish accent tore right through her. Niall looks over at the three girls who had all fallen silent after he approached. He makes eye contact with Y/N, and they share a smile.

“Opening a tab tonight?”

“Yeah, one of those nights for sure. Poor Harry’s had a run in with his ex, basically dropped their dog in his lap and left. It’s been a couple of weeks since it happened, but it’s been eatin’ the lad up.”

Bradly nods and takes Niall’s credit card to keep on the back of the bar. He hands him the three beers, and Niall thanks him. The girls try not to watch as he sits down.

“Holy shit, I thought I was going to crap my pants.” Nessa breathes. “I love Andy, don’t get me wrong, but holy fuck.” She shakes her head. “I may need to have him pick me up from here tonight.” She giggles.

“Now I almost wish there was dancing here. Wouldn’t mind showing that guy how well I can pop my ass.” Charlotte laughs.

“He smiled at me, did you see it? Of course Harry surrounds himself with other beautiful people.” She pouts.

Niall slides Harry and Louis their beers and they all clink their glasses.

“I’m so glad we could all get out to do this. Sorry we didn’t rescue you the second Kelly showed up.” Louis says.

“It’s alright, I appreciate you guys coming tonight.”

“Is Max okay for a bit on his own?” Niall asks.

“Yeah, I put the gates up for him so he can’t mess much up. I wouldn’t have texted my TA to see if she could watch him again, but…”

“But you’ll most likely be fucking someone tonight.” Niall grins. “Surprised you didn’t just fuck her, she stayed at your place and everything.”

“Actually, you asshole,” Harry chuckles and takes a swig of his beer. “I was going to say that I would have felt bad taking up another one of her evenings. I don’t know if I’m in the mood to take anyone home tonight.”

“Too bad, girls love little dogs like Max.” Louis shrugs.

“There’s three really hot girls sitting by the bar.” Niall loves over at the three girls. “One for each of us if we play our cards right.”

Harry’s back was turned away from the bar, so he couldn’t see who Niall was talking about.

“They could be college students.” Louis says.

“Not at this place. The undergrads don’t come here.” Harry says. “Mostly grad students or other faculty that live close by, locals too.”

“We could order their next round of drinks, and then invite them to come sit with us. Booth has plenty of room.” Niall suggest.

Harry and Louis turn around slightly to get a look at the girls Niall was talking about. Harry nearly chokes on his Corona, and turns back around.

“Jesus, are you alright?” Louis asks, patting his back.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. We can’t get those girls drinks.”

“Why not?”

“The one on the right is my TA, Y/N, and her two roommates. I know one of them has a boyfriend…uh…the one on the very left. The middle one is single, but even still, I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

“Mate, you’re TA is that good looking, and you didn’t even try to fuck her when she stayed at your place?” Niall asks.

“No, I didn’t try to fuck her. I’m doing this thing where I don’t fuck people I have a position of power over.” He rolls his eyes. “That’s a no go.”

“But if she wasn’t your TA, and just a regular grad student…?” Louis raises an eyebrow at Harry. He runs a hand through his hair as thinks it over.

“I don’t know, I haven’t really thought about it. I mean, she’s obviously cute, but…I could never do something like that.”

“It’s not like she’s going to be your TA next semester, you could-“ Harry cuts Niall off.

“Actually, she might be. I have a meeting with the curriculum committee to discuss what I’ll need help with for next semester, and we both want to work with each other again. Crossing that line would complicate things, not to mention it’s highly unprofessional.”

“It’s not like she’s a student sitting in one of your classes, then I’d agree with you. You’re colleagues, technically. Nothing in the rule book saying you can’t fuck a colleague.” Niall says.

“He’s got a point, Har.” Louis says.

“Even if I agreed with the both of you, I’d still be taking advantage. I think she has a little crush on me, she’s made a couple flirty comments here and there…”

“Not to mention she jumped at the chance to help watch your dog.” Louis says.

“It’s not happening.”

“Well, you may not want to fuck a pretty girl tonight, but I do, and if the middle one is single, perhaps I’ll still order them all drinks, and just talk with her. Or, if you’re saying Y/N’s a no go for you, maybe I’ll chat her up. We smiled at each other, maybe she thinks I’m cute.” Niall grins.

“Don’t you dare.” He glares at him, finishing his beer. “I don’t care if you talk to, fuck what’s her name…Charlotte! I don’t care if you talk to Charlotte, but don’t try anything with Y/N.” He looks at Louis. “You either.”

“Not that I would, but basically you’re saying if you can’t fuck her no one else can?” Louis asks.

“I just wouldn’t feel comfortable with it.”

“Alright.” Niall shrugs. “We ready for the next round, then?” They both nod at him, and Niall brings the empties up to the bar. The girls fall silent when he approaches again. “Hi there, is there a reason you all keep doing that?”

The girls all turn to look at him. They were sweating.

“Doing what?” Charlotte asks nervously.

“Well, and maybe it’s just a coincidence, but you keep getting quiet when I come over.”

“It’s just…um…” Nessa starts. “You’re here with someone our friend knows.” She points to Y/N. “In a professional setting, and we’re just surprised to see him out, that’s all.”

“Oh, am I? Who is it?”

“Dr. Styles.” Y/N speaks up. Niall smiles as his eyes raise.

“Dr. Styles, how formal.” He looks over at Bradly who gives him the new drinks. “Bradly, do me a favor, put these ladies’ next round on my tab, will you?”

“You don’t have to do that.” Y/N says.

“Whether you know my friend or not, I’d be a real jerk to not buy three beautiful girls a drink, wouldn’t I?” He winks at Charlotte as he walks away with his new drinks.

“He winked at me, oh my god.” She squeals. “Y/N, you wouldn’t care if I tried to fuck one of Harry’s friends, right? It’s been a minute for me.” She pouts.

“No, why would I care?” She laughs. Bradly gives the girls their new drinks. “That was really nice of him.” She twists her straw and looks over at the booth. She can see Niall and the other guy laughing, while Harry just shakes his head.

“What the fuck did you say to them?” Harry asks as he takes a sip of beer.

“Would you relax? They simply mentioned that they knew you, and I bought their next round, that was it.”

“Great, so she knows I’m here.” He groans. “Move.” He says to Louis.

“Why?”

“Because now I have to go talk to her.”

“Oh, you do?” Louis smirks.

“Yes, do you know how fucking rude it would be not even say hello?”

“I don’t see her coming over here.” Niall says.

“She’s obviously nervous!” Harry takes a large gulp of his drink. “Move, Lou.”

Louis gets up so Harry can get out of the booth.

“Oh my god, Y/N, Harry’s coming over here.” Nessa says.

“Shut up,  no he’s not, oh my god, he is, holy shit. I’m…inebriated.”

The girls laugh at her as Harry comes to sit on the open stool next to Y/N. He gets comfortable before he looks at her and smiles. She slowly turns herself to look at him.

“Hi.” He says.

“Hi.”

“Did my friend bother you?”

“Not at all…he was very nice.”

Harry nods and sips from his drink.

“I didn’t know you came here…” He says.

“Could say the same to you.” She looks him up and down. “Barely recognized you when you walked in. That’s a nice shirt.”

“Thanks.” He blushes and wants to kick himself for being so exposed to her.

“You haven’t met my friends yet. Charlotte, Nessa, this is Dr…uh, this is Harry.” The girls both say hello.

“Hi, I’ve heard a lot about you both. You’re Charlotte right?”

“Yeah.”

“My friend thinks you’re cute.” He nods over to Niall. Maybe Harry wouldn’t have been so bold, but he knew they were only a few years apart in age, so it wasn’t totally weird, and he had a couple drinks in him, so there’s that.

“Really?!”

“Mhm.”

“Should I go talk to him?”

“Definitely, I think he’d really like that.”

“Good enough for me.” She hops off the stool. “Ness, come talk to his other friend with me it’s not awkward.”

“Wing-man to the rescue, I’m on it.”

“You guys!” Y/N calls after them, but they’re already sitting down. She looks back at Harry and squints at him.

“What?”

“Did you do that on purpose?”

“Do what?”

“Get them to leave so we could be alone…”

“What?! No!” Harry finishes his drink, and Bradly gets him a new one right away. “Why would I want to be alone with you?” He sees the obvious offense on her face, and shakes his head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. We’re alone together all the time, aren’t we? I just meant, in this setting.” He gestures to the bar around him. “I’ve been a bit mopey since Kelly showed up, so my friends just wanted to take me out and show me a good time.” He looks over at Niall who already has his arm around Charlotte. “Although, I think they’re bound to have a better night than me.” He sighs.

“You haven’t let on a mopey exterior, you could have told me.”

“It’s really none of your business how I’m feeling, Y/N.”

“You’re being awfully cold to someone who spent the night at your house just watch your dog.”

“You spent the night because it was raining too heavily.”

“And then you made me breakfast.”

“As an extra thank you.”

“You’re annoying.” She takes a sip of her drink and faces forward. “Now I don’t even have my friends to complain about you because you’ve sent them off to your friends.” She rolls her eyes.

“M’not annoying. I’m a fucking delight, just ask Max.”

“Where is he anyways?”

“Home.” Harry shrugs. “He can last a few hours without me. I almost texted you, but I would have felt bad asking again. I know you worked today, I honestly didn’t expect to see you out.”

“It was a long week for everyone. I’m not staying much longer, I have to be at Bento’s at four in the morning.”

“It’s…” Harry looks down at his watch. “Almost midnight, Cinderella.” He smirks at her and she can’t help but laugh. It was a stupid and cheesy joke, but she liked it. “I didn’t mean to be cold…I just didn’t want you to think I was coming over here to pull a move or something.”

“I’m going to remind you again, you sent my friends away.” She smiles and takes a sip of her drink.

“I did.” He nods. “But I’ll remind you, my friend Niall thinks Charlotte is cute. He thought you were cute too, by the way.”

“He did?!” She looks over at them and then back to Harry. “But you sent her off with him?”

“Yup.” He takes a swig of his beer.

“Why?!”

“Could be a little awkward to have my best friend canoodle with my TA.”

“Right, because it would be so easy to get into my bed.” She scoffs.

“I didn’t say that.”

“You implied it. And I’m not one to kiss and tell, so unless he wanted to dish, you wouldn’t have even heard anything from me about it.”

“Doesn’t matter, I wouldn’t have liked it. I don’t know Charlotte so I don’t really care what they do.”

“You don’t get to decide who I can and can’t sleep with just because you’re too chicken to make a move.” Before he can say anything she’s hopping off her stool and heading out of the bar.

She’s just about to order an uber when he grabs her wrist. It was chilly outside, and she could clearly see both of their breaths.

“What did you just say to me?”

“You heard me.” She yanks her wrist free. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going home to sleep for three hours so I can get up to bake some fucking bread.” She orders her uber, and Nessa comes rushing out.

“Char’s staying inside with, um, Niall? I saw you leave so I thought I’d come…with…you…” She sees Harry who was practically fuming. “Um, I can wait inside, or-“

“It’s fine, the uber will be here in a minute.” She smiles at her friend and then glares at Harry. “At least one of us is going to have a good time tonight.” She seethes.

“I had fun.” Nessa says, and then realizes what Y/N meant. “Oh.”

“Why are you still here? Go inside and find some random to fuck.”

“Don’t talk to me like that, Y/N.”

“Sorry, I’m off the clock. I can speak to you however the fuck I want.” She steps closer to him. “I don’t know where you get off being so sweet and kind one moment, and then turning into a major prick the second you feel threatened, but I don’t need this.”

The uber pulls up, and without another word Y/N and Nessa get inside, leaving Harry outside in the cold.

//

Y/N woke up at 3:30AM and groaned, cursing at herself for going out. She only had to work until 9AM and then should could sleep the day away if she wanted. She was still so mad at Harry she could scream. He hadn’t even tried to text her to apologize.

She sighs and makes her way to the kitchen once she’s dressed. She stops short when she sees a half-naked Niall standing in her kitchen, filling two glasses of water.

“Um…hi.” She says to him as she grabs her daily vitamins out of the cabinet.

“Hey.” He smiles. He looks her up and down. “Are you going to work?”

“I am.” She pops the gummy vitamins into her mouth.

“Could you do me a favor?” He steps a little closer to her. “Take it easy on Harry, alright?” Y/N scoffs at him. “I know, he was an asshole last night, but he just want to do anything that could put his job in danger, that’s all.”

“How would I do that? I’m not his student, I’m his colleague.”

“He just feels weird about it, and he’s still figuring out his feelings. I think he likes you, to be quite honest. You’ve…perked him up, well not tonight, but anytime he mentions you he smiles.”

“He…talks about me?”

“Oh sure, all the time actually.” He takes a sip of water. “I better go bring this to her. Just…consider taking it easy on him, he knows he fucked up.”

Y/N nods as Niall makes his way back to Charlotte’s room. She drags herself out to her car and heads to Bento’s. Once she’s inside, she puts some music on and fires up the ovens. She loved baking, it helped clear her head for a little while. She would prep the bacon, get fresh muffins and cookies going, and she would even make croissants. By the time the rest of the morning crew shows up, she’s just about halfway done with everything. She trays up everything to be rolled out for the people working out front. By the time 9AM rolled around she was exhausted, but had mostly forgotten how aggravated she was. She snags a coffee and a muffin on her way out, and stops short when she sees Harry sitting outside with Max.

“Oh, thank god.” He says, standing up. Max sniffs at her feet and she bends down to pet the top of his head. “They said you got off at nine, I hope it’s not weird that I’m here.”

“How long have you been waiting out here?”

“Well, I came by at 6:30 when they opened, but you were really busy, so I just came back twenty minutes ago. Can we talk?”

“Not right now. I’m covered in flour and sweat, and I’d like to take a shower and then take a nap. I got two hours of sleep last night. It was my own doing, but still.”

“When then?”

“I’ll text you.” She shrugs. “Niall spent the night, I bumped into him this morning. He said you fucked up?”

“I did.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Do what you need to do, and then, uh, come bay later, yeah? We can have a late lunch or something, and I can explain myself. Would you like that?”

“Depends, what’s on the menu?”

“S’cold out, do you like grilled cheese and tomato soup?”

“Love it.” She smiles. “I’ll let you know when I wake up.”

“Alright, thanks.”

Y/N takes a nice long shower when she gets home, her roommates still peacefully sleeping. She wondered if Niall was still there or if he slipped out a couple hours after her. She didn’t care that much, she was too tired to care. Once her hair is dry, she slips a t-shirt on and crawls into bed.

“Y/N! I’ve let you sleep long enough, please wake up!” Charlotte was absolutely giddy, and dying to fill Y/N in. It was around 2PM, she definitely caught up on sleep.

“Gimme five minutes!” Y/N yells back. She was groggy and didn’t want to be cranky.

Y/N comes out to the couch and lays down. Nessa was out with Andy, but she had heard about everything earlier. Charlotte brings Y/N a cup of tea and smiles at her.

“Thank you.” She takes a careful sip. “Alright, go ahead.”

“Best sex I’ve ever fucking had!” She squeals. “He had me all over the bed, it was wild. I’m surprised we didn’t wake you.”

“I passed out the second I got home.” She chuckles. “Best you ever had, huh? What exactly did he do?”

“What didn’t he do?! Fingers, tongue, and dick, it was incredible. I rode him, then he got on top, and then he did me from behind, bent me over the bed, I got on top again. His stamina was incredible. I made him some breakfast this morning and then he left.”

“Did he give you his number?”

“He did.” She beams. “He said he wasn’t looking for anything serious at the moment, but I was free to text him anytime I wanted him like that again.” She bites her bottom lip and sinks further into the couch. “I totally don’t mind at all. It would be nice to start up a new little fling. It won’t be weird for you, will it?”

“Not at all, it’s not like you’re…oh my god.” She pinches the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger.

“What?”

“I totally get where he was coming from now.” She groans.

“What do you mean?”

“He said he told me that, uh, his other friend thought I was cute, and I told him I was mad because he sent the two of you away, and that he couldn’t tell me who I could and couldn’t fuck, but I would have been so mad if you slept with Harry.”

“I wouldn’t have, though. I know how much you like…” She gasps. “Do you think he likes you too?!”

“I don’t know, maybe!” Y/N takes her phone out to text Harry that she’s up and that she’ll be over within the hour. “I’m going to his place for a late lunch, he wants to apologize, but I owe him one just the same. I flipped out for no reason.”

“Well, at least you’re realizing it. Very adult of you.”

“Oh, shut up.” She nudges her and gets up to change.

//

Y/N gets to Harry’s around 3PM. She paired a green cardigan and a black tank top with a pair of jeans. She gets out of the car and rings his bell. She giggles when she hears Max barking from behind the door.

“Shh, it’s just Y/N.” Harry coos to Max as he opens his door. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Um, come in.” He moves aside and lets her in. “Here, think he misses you.” Y/N takes Max from Harry and snuggles him close.

“It’s only been a couple days.” She pouts at the dog.

“Come, sit, the food’s ready.”

Y/N sets Max down and sits down at the table. Harry already had the grilled cheese and soup out on the table.

“This looks good, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Harry…I know you wanted to apologize, but I realized today that you weren’t totally in the wrong.”

“Yes I was.” He sighs and blows on his soup before slurping some from his spoon. “Maybe it wasn’t what I said, but it was how I said it. I overstepped. You’re a grown woman, I had no right to tell my friend he couldn’t hit it on you.”

“Well, it all worked out because Charlotte seems to have a new fuck buddy on her hands.” She chuckles and takes a bite of her sandwich. “Look, I appreciate you saying all that, but when I was talking to her earlier, I realized I would have done the same thing. I would have told my friends not to flirt with you or try to pick you up, and I would have been pissed if one of them slept with you.”

“You would have?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“You know why.” She grumbles. “I…I mean…”

“We’re stuck between a rock and a hard place here, Y/N.” He sighs and sits back in his chair.

“We are?”

“Yes. I did a lot of thinking last night, did some talking with my friends. I had to really think about why I got so upset. The thing is, you’re my TA, and you’re going to be my TA next semester as well, most likely. I have a meeting about it Monday. Selfishly, I don’t want anyone else to have you.”

“In more ways than one, obviously.” She smirks.

“Don’t be cute.” He gives her a playful smile. “I think I’d miss you too much, to be honest. I like sharing my office with you. Your help with Max has been great, you’re, like, part of my life now.”

“Is there some rule that says that we can’t…like…go out?”

“I don’t know…I think it would look unprofessional on my part. I know you’re not one of my students, so it’s not as bad as that, but I still have a position of power over you, and if someone found out something was going, it could look really bad. I wouldn’t want something to taint your reputation either.”

“Well, I’ve been over here twice now, and no one’s said a thing.”

“You haven’t been on campus since Thursday. Someone could easily say something to us Monday.”

“A lot of people know I help with Max.”

“Some people may know you used to be a student of mine as well. They could assume something’s been going on for years.”

“Not true, wouldn’t people know about Kelly?” Harry grimaces at the name. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright.”

“So…I feel like we’re just going around in circles here, Harry. Like, what are we doing?”

“Well, if I vouch for you to be my TA again next semester, would you? The course would be for Creativity and the Visual World, and I think you could really shine there, talk about IDS. Also, I don’t know what your plans are after you graduate, or where you’ll want to go, but I’ve caught wind that one of the instructional designers on campus is going to retire at the end of the school year.”

“Wow, so you’re like really trying to keep me around.” She smirks.

“It’s not like that.” He chuckles. “I just mean, it could be a good first gig for you. You’re very good at all that, thought you might be interested to know there’s going to be an opening. You know the campus well, it would be a smooth transition for you.”

“That would be ideal, I do want to work in higher ed when I’m done.”

“I could help you with your cover letter, I’m really good at writing those. I’ve helped plenty of students.”

“I’ll definitely look into it.” She finishes what she can of the food, and sits back as well.

“I really am sorry about last night, I felt awful.”

“It’s okay, I really get it.” She sighs. “So…I still don’t know what we’re doing. Are we just choosing not to date anyone else and also not each other? Why should I wait until I graduate to be with someone?”

“M’not asking you to do that. I don’t really know what I’m asking you to do. I just don’t want to be a cliché. The young professor getting with someone that works for him. I’m attracted to you, I can admit that, but I don’t want to get fired, nor do I want your name getting dragged through the mud.”

“So, essentially, while I’m your TA we can’t do anything.”

“Correct.”

“And you’d rather suffer and have me be your TA again next semester just to have me around you, even though it would mean we still couldn’t do anything.”

“Yes.”

“Alright, after the holidays I’ll be staying at my apartment for winter break. We pay for a full year, and I like having the time alone. I also still work at Bento’s.” She stands up and puts her things in the sink.

“What are you saying exactly?”

“I’m saying, over winter break we’re in limbo. I won’t be your TA, and I’ll be all alone in my three bedroom apartment. Perhaps there’ll be a night I’m feeling especially lonely and you’ll have the marvelous idea of visiting me with Max, and whatever happens will happen.”

“And then what? Act like it didn’t when the spring semester starts?”

“I guess we’d cross that bridge when we come to it. All I know is that for six weeks, you will in no way have a position of power over me. By the way, I’m twenty-three years old, it’s like you said, I’m a grown woman. You’re not taking advantage of me. I know how it would look to others, so I can respect where you’re coming from. However, I’d like to try things out before I tell someone I’m going to wait for them.”

With that, Y/N gives Max one last squeeze, and out the door she goes. She was proud of herself. Harry liked her, and he wanted to be with her. It was a dream come true. She also didn’t mind sort of waiting for him, it would just make things all the more hot when they’d finally be able to come together.

//

The rest of the semester went by…okay. There was a lot of tension, a lot of it. Harry was just thankful it was getting colder which meant that Y/N was bundling up more. She did, however, look insanely cute in her many layers and scarves. They were busy grading, not having much time for chat chit. She started going over his place more, though. They would have little grading parties where they could just spread out and get things done. His place was also another quiet haven for her to escape to.

Charlotte hooked with Niall almost every weekend, it was pretty cute. They were having fun, and Y/N was happy for her friend. Even though sometimes Y/N wished Harry would just fuck her on his kitchen table on top of all the graded papers and tests, and maybe sometimes he fantasized about the same thing, but it had to stay professional. She didn’t want him regretting anything. Sometimes he would come into Bento’s when she was working, she even snuck him in early one morning to show him how she made the croissants he liked so much. They were essentially dating, but without all the physical stuff.

At least Y/N could catch some relief later at night in her bed. She didn’t think of Harry at first. Her routine mostly consisted of headphones, pornhub, and a few orgasms. But there was one particular night her and Harry were sitting in front of his fireplace, and he just looked so sexy, and she wanted him to take her on his living room floor, she didn’t even care if her tailbone would be bruised the next day. She still hadn’t even seen his fucking bedroom, it was the one part of the house she wasn’t allowed in. So she start fantasizing about his bed, and then one thing led to another and she ended up moaning out his name in a shallow breath. It had caught her by surprise, and she was almost embarrassed about it.

Harry would have been lying if he said he wasn’t doing the same thing. It mostly happened early in the morning when he’d take his shower. It just sort of happened. He woke up one morning, rolled over and wished she was there next to him. He had seen her fall asleep so many times, and he thought she was incredibly cute. He liked having Max in the bed, but he wanted Y/N. So when he got into the shower he just couldn’t stop thinking about her. He didn’t feel embarrassed, he didn’t feel guilty, he mostly felt annoyed because he just wanted the real thing.

It was confirmed that Y/N would be his TA again in the spring, and they were both exited. He liked having her in his office, and he thought they worked together really well. It was worth it, it was all going to be worth it.

Harry went home to London for the holidays, and Y/N went home to her parents’ house. It was a tough goodbye. They hugged, and maybe they kissed each other on the cheek, but neither wanted to let go. Y/N loved seeing her family, but ten days was plenty. She liked having her apartment to herself. Nessa and Charlotte wouldn’t be back for a few weeks. That meant Y/N could watch whatever she wanted on TV, she didn’t have to worry about being quiet on the early mornings she had to work, and she could take a long shower.

A big snow storm was coming, which was starting to make Y/N nervous. Stores were closing in preparation, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to weather it alone.

Y/N: are you back from London? Can’t remember when you said you’d be home…

Harry: hey! I was just going to message you, I got back yesterday, was just sleeping off the jetlag. What’s up?

Y/N: this impending storm is freaking me out…

Harry: do you wanna get snowed in at my place? Just stalked up at the grocery store…

Y/N: are you sure? I don’t wanna be a burden :(

Harry: you wouldn’t be! You know I want to see you, so does Max :)

Y/N: okay! I’ll pack a bag and head over, see you soon!

Harry had been cute while he was away, sending Y/N a few selfies of him and Max. She had been to his house so many times, this wouldn’t be weird at all to spend a couple of snowy days together. She gets all her things packed, and makes her way to Harry’s. It was just starting to flurry when she parked in his driveway. He comes outside to help her with her things.

“And this time, you’ll let me set up the pullout for you. No need to sleep on a couch for two days.”

“Okay.”

She was hoping he’d give in and let her sleep in his bed with him. Actually, she was hoping he’d pick her up, swing her around, and kiss her. He sets her things down and waits for her to take her coat off, then he hugs hers.

“Had a good holiday?” He asks as he lets her go.

“Yeah, it was good. You?”

“It was great, love getting to see my family.” Max comes trotting in and greets Y/N.

“There’s my little man.” She scoops him up and gives him kisses.

“I was just going to make some tea, would you like some?”

“Please.” She plops down with Max on the couch.

“Do you have to work at Bento’s during all this? I can drive you if you want.”

“No, they closed in preparation of the storm.”

“Oh, good!”

Y/N turns the TV on, and scrolls through Netflix for something simple to watch. Harry comes over with two mugs of tea and he sits down next to her.

“Find anything good? Feel like it’s all Christmas movies right now.”

“Nothing yet…” She squints at the TV. “How about…oh! Have you watched Love, Victor yet? It’s been on my list for ages.”

“Is it based off of Love, Simon?”

“Yeah! This kid Victor is new in town, and ends up going to the same school Simon did.”

“Sure, we could watch that.”

“Shit, it’s on Hulu, you have that right?”

“Mhm, gimme the remote, I’ll switch it over.” She hands it to him and sips on her tea while he queues it up.

“Mm, this is tasty, what is it?”

“It’s black tea with honey, love.” He looks at her wants to laugh. “I don’t usually add anything, but I thought you’d like the honey.”

“It’s perfect, thank you.”

The show starts just as the sun was setting outside. Y/N pulls the blanket Harry keeps on the back of the couch over her legs, and Max moves to Harry’s lap.

“Let me know if I’m being a blanket hog.”

“S’alright, he keeps me pretty warm.”

“Don’t be annoying.” She huffs and spreads the blanket out equally over them. “See, nice and cozy.”

“I’m not being annoying, I’m being…respectful.”

“Golly gee, thanks, mister.” She pouts at him and he rolls his eyes.

“Now who’s being annoying?”

A couple of episodes in, and Harry’s stomach starts rumbling.

“Are you hungry? I can pop a pizza in the oven, or make some pasta?”

“Pizza would be perfect, thank you.”

“Pause it, I just need a minute to get it in the oven.”

Y/N nods and scrolls through her phone while she waits for him to come back. This was nice. It was like they were hanging out as friends, which was okay, but she was hoping he’d make a move for fuck’s sake.

“Alright, should be about fifteen minutes.” He smiles and gets back under the blanket. Y/N presses and play and they get back into it.

After the pizza, they nearly almost binge the entire show. Harry was starting to doze off, so they decide to call it a night. He looks outside in the kitchen window.

“I am not looking forward to digging out our cars. Times like this I wish I had a garage.” He sighs.

“You say that like you’ll be doing it alone. I’ve got all my snow gear, I can help.”

“Right, like I’d let you break your back out there.” He scoffs, and puts his hand on her shoulder. “Let me make up the pullout for you.”

Y/N watches as Harry moves the coffee table, and hoists the pullout into place. The sheets were already on it, so he just lays the blankets and pillows out.

“Well, I’ll be upstairs with Max if you need anything. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, thanks again for letting me stay. I think I would have been scared all alone.”

“No worries, I’m glad you’re here. I, uh, missed you over the holidays.” He clears his throat and heads upstairs.

Y/N does her nightly routine and puts on a tank top and pajama pants for bed. She gets onto the pullout and tries to listen to some music to fall asleep, but the wind was whipping so harshly outside, it was making her uneasy. She hated storms more than anything. Would Harry mind if she crawled into bed with him? She could even sleep on the floor. She just didn’t want to be down here alone. She sighs and slowly gets out of the bed. She makes her way upstairs.

Harry’s bedroom was the entire upstairs, it was sort of like a loft. He had a king sized bed, a decent looking bedroom set, and an en suite. Y/N thought it was really nice, well, what she could make out of it since it was so dark.

“Harry?” She whispers. His head was in his pillow, sleeping on his tummy.

“Mm?” He grunts, clearly out of it.

“I’m a little scared downstairs, would it be alright if I slept on the floor up here?”

“Get in.” He mumbles.

“Really, are you sure? Because I-“

He flips some of the covers back, eyes still closed. Y/N takes a deep breath and gets into the bed. Max was half asleep, but he moves away from Harry to make room for her, plopping down near his feet. Y/N climbs in and faces away from him. This was such a large bed for one guy, and it made her wonder who was the last person to share it with him. She wanted to keep a respectful distance from him, but before she could start counting sheep, his arm was wrapped around her waist, pulling her close to him. Her breath hitched, but she could hear his steady breathing, he was definitely asleep. He must just sleep better when he’s holding onto something, she thinks.

//

Harry’s eyes flutter open around 5AM. He was used to getting up that early to take Max out, but for some reason he felt like he got some of the most restful sleep he’s gotten in a long time. He feels warm and cozy, and even though he knows he needs to get up and brave the cold so his dog could relieve himself, he found himself nuzzling in to whatever he was holding onto.

That’s when it hits him that he wasn’t dreaming last night, and Y/N genuinely came up into his room because she was feeling uneasy being all alone downstairs. She was still fully clothed, but he wasn’t he was only in his boxers. His leg was between hers, and she was pressed up against him. He wondered if she slept well like this. Just because he slept better holding onto something didn’t mean that she would.

He makes subtle movements, not wanting to wake her. He nearly winced leaving the warmth of the bed, but he got through it. Max pops his head up and Harry puts his finger up to his lips to signal that he needed to be quiet. Harry snatches his sweatpants and a pair of socks, and grabs Max to take him downstairs. He throws his coat and boots on, gets the leash on Max, and out the door he goes. He shoves his beanie down over his ears as he feels the wind whip around. There were snow drifts everywhere and it was still coming down. He uses the flashlight on his phone so Max could see what he was doing.

“Come on, buddy, I know it’s cold, but Daddy doesn’t wanna be out here long.” He wanted to get back to Y/N.

Once Max does his business, Harry gets him so food and fresh water. He strips himself of his jacket and socks, but leaves his sweatpants on. He was shirtless, but he was too groggy from the morning to care. Once Max is all set, Harry carries him upstairs so his collar doesn’t jingle around. He plops him on the bed, and he goes right over to Y/N to curl up with her. Harry uses the bathroom quick, brushing his teeth and all that, and then slowly slides back into bed. Y/N hadn’t moved, still laying on her side facing away from him, so he just wraps himself back around her. Well, he thought she hadn’t moved. The second she heard the door close downstairs, she sprinted down to “her” bathroom to wash up and brush her own teeth. She wasn’t sure if morning snuggles would ensue, but she wanted to be fresh if they did.

A sigh leaves Harry’s lips as he settles back in, pressing nice and close to her and keeping his arm around her waist. She gives it a few minutes, and then she adjust against him. She could tell he was wearing sweatpants now, and not just his boxers. She was subtle about it, not fully pressing her ass against him, just a simple adjustment, so he didn’t think anything of it. After another couple of moments, she presses back into him, and he involuntarily presses forward towards her. He was definitely starting to get hard. He grips her waist a little tighter as he continues to press into her.

“Mm, Harry?” She rolls onto her back to look up at him.

“Hi.” He moves his hand away from her lower stomach to move some hair away from her face. “How’d you end up here, hm?” He asks softly.

“Storms really scare me, and the wind was loud.” She starts smiling. “Feel much better now.” His hand slides down to cup her jaw. “I asked first and you told me to get in.”

“I did, didn’t I…”

“Pulled me right up close to you, it was nice.” She sighs.

“Can’t remember the last time I slept so well, to be honest.”

He lets go of her and flops onto his back, groaning. She rolls onto her side and props herself up with her elbow, resting her cheek on her palm.

“You make things so difficult for yourself. I’m not your TA right now.”

“But you will be again.”

“Because you wanted me to be.”

He looks at her and pouts.

“We’ll see each other more this way.”

“But…wouldn’t it be nice to go out on dates and touch and-“

“You’ve seen how busy I am, I rarely have time to see my friends as it is. I’d feel guilty for not being able to do those things with you.”

“You have me to yourself for the next four weeks, Harry, and the girls won’t be back until a week before school starts.”

“We’d have to stop when the semester starts back up, and wait again. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that.”

“We could be discrete.”

“I’d have to be a little cold towards you.”

“You’re no stranger to that.” She scoffs.

“Y/N.” Harry’s hand finds her hip. “This is serious.”

“I’m about to graduate, from grad school, Harry. It’s not like I’m some eighteen year old girl sitting in one of your classes. I’m twenty-three, and you’re twenty-six, it’s really not that weird.”

“I’ll be twenty-seven next month.” He mutters.

“Great, then we can go out and celebrate when the time comes. Is there something in a handbook saying we can’t…do this?”

“It’s extremely frowned upon, I can assure you.” He groans again before speaking. “This is so frustrating, it’s not like you’re my first TA either, fuck, even I was a TA. Shit like this never happened. I’ve never been…attracted to someone I’ve worked with before.”

“You’re probably the only professor I’ve been into before.”

“See, right there, you had a thing for me when you were in my class only a couple of years ago, and-“

“And nothing happened then. You barely remembered me when I first came to your office. I was a flustered senior, that was it. Now…well, I know you now. I’m way less nervous around, I feel like I can really talk to you.”

“I feel the same way.” He sighs. “Fucking, Christ.” He yanks her down to her chest, and she yelps. His fingers scratch at her scalp and she nearly whimpers at how nice it feels to lay on his chest, having him play with her hair. “We can lay here a little longer, and then I need to go to move some of the snow.”

“I’m helping.” She puts a leg over his. “And you’re still a little…riled up, don’t you want to-“

“No.”

“But I could-“

“Y/N.” She looks up at him. “Just lay here with me.”

They both doze back off for a bit until Max starts barking. He must need to pee. Harry gets up and tells Y/N she can shower if she wants to.

“I’ll wait, I’ll get sweaty shoveling.”

“It’s my house, you don’t need to help.” He throws on a long sleeve shirt and thick socks. He looks at her crossing her arms over her chest. “Here.” He tosses her one of his sweaters. “Come on, Max.”

They all head downstairs. His sweater smelled just like him. She hoped she could keep this too just like with the pj’s he had given her a couple of months ago. He takes Max out quick, and then sets him back inside so he can get to shoveling. Y/N decides she could make him breakfast since he wouldn’t let her help outside.

She goes through his fridge and cupboards to find some different things. She wanted to make something that would take some time so it would be warm for him when he got inside.

“Muffins!” She says to herself as she rifles through his baking supplies.

She whips up a mixture of blueberry muffins and get them popped in the oven. She has the glorious idea to slice them in half and butt them up on his griddle when they’re done, just to give it a little crunch. Next, she cracks some eggs into the pan, and makes them sunny side down because she remembers him making them that way. She even finds some bacon to throw on the griddle.

When he comes inside, his nostrils are hit with everything she’s made. Everything was on plates on the kitchen table, and she was washing everything in the sink. He strips down to his boxers, having been drenched with sweat after digging out their cars. The snow was still falling, but it was good to get ahead of things before it all froze.

“Harry, I made…” She freezes when she looks at him. Seeing his full body in the light was much different than in the hazy darkness of his bedroom.

“I didn’t know I had blueberry muffins.” He says as he looks down at the plates.

“You, um, you didn’t, I made them.”

“From scratch?”

“Well, yeah.”

He picks up the muffin bottom and takes a bite. His eyes close for a second as he gets a good taste. It was buttery and a bit crisp from being on the griddle. It was perfection. He turns to her after he swallows.

“You’re…a literal angel.” He steps closer to her, and he notices her eyes drift down and back up. “I’ll go put some clothes, and then-“

She puts a hand on his chest. Her eyes plead with his. Just kiss me, she silently says to him.  His hands fly up to her jaw, and he pulls her in, lips crashing together, finally. She melts into him immediately. His tongue slides along her bottom lip, and she opens up for him. She can taste the blueberry muffin on him, and it makes her suck on his tongue. He groans against her, and his hands slide down to her ass to get a good squeeze. She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him even closer.

“Harry.” She breathes against his lips.

He gets a good grip on her and lifts her up to sit her on the counter. He quickly draws the shades for the window above the sink so anyone out shoveling wouldn’t be able to see anything. He tugs at the sweater of his he was wearing and lifts it off her. Her legs open wide for him to stand between. His lips attach to the crook of her neck, sucking, licking, biting. Her hips buck towards his as she tugs at his hair. One of his hands lifts her shirt slightly, and she thinks he’s going to feel her breasts up, but instead his fingers find the band of her pajama pants. He stops to look at her.

“Can I?”

“Yes.”

His hand dips below, and it’s almost like he’s searching for something else.

“Are you not wearing any knickers?”

“No.” She blinks at him. “I don’t usually wear underwear to bed.”

“Jesus Christ.”

She opens her legs a little wider for him, and he groans when his fingers touch around her folds, and he feels her wetness sticking to him already. His other arm wraps around behind her to hold her close to him. He plays around with her, fingers rubbing all around until his middle finger slides in. She gasps, not having expected so much so soon, but she wasn’t complaining. She clutches at his shoulders when she feels another finger slip inside. He twists them around, just getting a feel for things, and he curls them up, knowing this was what she really wanted.

“Oh! Oh my god.” Her head rolls back. He was make that come here motion right on that sweet spot of her front wall. His lips find her neck again as he continues. His thumb starting to rub on her clit. “Oh fuck, Harry, oh my god.” She didn’t realize how whiney she could sound, but he loved. She was a mess for him.

“Been thinking about this for so long.” He says into her ear.

“Me too.” She was panting now. “It feels so good.”

“Yeah? Like having my fingers buried inside you?”

Her mouth falls open. He was into dirty talk and it made her clench around him.

“Yes, oh my fucking god, yes.” She bites down on his collar bone to try to muffle any louder noises, but he was knuckle deep, fucking her with his fingers, it was no use. “Harry, I’m so close, oh fuck!”

His hand around her waist reaches up to tug at the back of her head. He wanted to watch her go through the motions. He wanted to see just how good he was making her feel. Her eyes rolls into the back of her head as she continues to beck forward. Her release was long, and so very good. She cried out, maybe a little louder than she should have, but he wasn’t telling her to keep it down. Did he want his neighbors to hear? Did he want them to know how good he could fuck someone?

He slows down his motions inside of her, helping her through the aftershocks, and then he slowly retracts his fingers. He sucks them into his mouth and then steps away from her. She was breathless. He kisses her cheeks and then helps her hop down from the counter.

“You made such a nice breakfast, let’s not let it go to waste.”

“Harry…” She watches him sit down.

“What?”

“Don’t you want to-“

“I’m all sweaty, I’d like to take a shower before going further if that’s alright with you.”

“Okay.”

She sits down with him and eats her food that she was now ravenous for.

“You really made this from scratch?”

“Yeah, I’m glad you like it.”

“It’s delicious.”

They finish eating and decide to clean up later. She follows him upstairs to his shower. He helps her out of her clothes and lets her get in first. She throws her hair up into a bun so it doesn’t get soaked. He rids himself of his boxers and gets in behind her. She moves aside so he can wash up. She presses her front to his back, and her hands roam along his long torso.

“You made me feel so good, I think it’s your turn.”

She kisses on his back while she starts to stroke his hardening length. It felt so big in her hand. Harry’s head falls to his chest, and he presses a palm to the tile wall to keep himself grounded. She runs her thumb over his tip and he groans. He grabs her hand and turns around. He backs her up to the opposite wall, cradling the back of her head as he basically slams her against it. His lips are on hers in seconds. Everything felt hot and wet, and just otherworldly. Y/N couldn’t enough. In the back of her head she kept thinking that she couldn’t believe this was happening. It wasn’t often that she got what she wanted.

“Please, fuck me.” She says against his lips.

“I don’t have any condoms.” He kisses down her neck and kneads her breasts.

“I’m on the pill.”

“S’not what I’m worried about.” He pulls his head back to look at her. “Are you clean?”

“I am, actually. I was tested last time I went to the doctor. Are you?”

“I am.” He smiles. “So…you really wanna feel all of me? Just like that?”

“Yes.” She whines. “Please.”

He kisses her and bites on her bottom lip, sucking on it as he pleases. He lifts one of legs up over his hip, and uses his other hand to line himself up. She was still plenty wet, so he’s able to push inside.

“Fuck, Y/N.” He grunts, trying to push further inside her. “So tight.”

“I…Christ, I think you’re just really big.” She gasps once he’s all the way inside.

His head drops to watch himself slowly thrust in and out of her. He bites his bottom lip at the sight. He looks back up at her, watching her features.

“Are you comfortable?”

“Could you maybe just hold my leg up?”

Harry nods and hooks his arm under leg, driving in deeper. Her head rolls back against the tile. Once he knew she was okay, he didn’t let up. He was fucking her hard and fast, only slowing up so he could hear her whimper and beg for more. Her nails were clawing at his back, and it was just egging him on. He uses his other hand to rub at her clit. She was starting to breathe heavier, moan after moan leaving her lips. He could tell she was close.

“Gonna come again for me?”

“Yes, fuck, I’m almost there, Harry!”

He sucks the tender skin of her neck between his teeth, and that’s what pushes her over the edge. Her senses totally overwhelmed. He gasps when he feels how deeply her nails dig into him from going through the motions of her orgasm. He pulls out of her quickly and comes on her stomach. He’s out of breath, pressing kisses to her cheek and neck.

“No going back now.” He says as he caresses her cheek.

“Nope.” She smiles.

He pecks her lips and turns back around to stand in the water again. Her eyes grow wide and he winces once the water cascades over him.

“Harry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize I was hurting you.”

“It didn’t hurt while it was happening, is it bleeding?” He looks over his shoulder trying to see for himself.

“Um…I broke the skin, but it’s not bloody.” She blushes. “Yikes, that’s embarrassing.”

“No it’s not.” He chuckles and moves so she can rinse her stomach off in the water. She turns it off and they both step out to towel off. “I wasn’t hurting you was I?”

“No, oh my god, it felt so good. Feels like I’m still throbbing.”

He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her close. She rests her hands on his chest.

“Do you like ice skating?”

“What?” She laughs. “Yeah, I love it, why?”

“Because once this storm is over, m’taking you on a proper date.” He kisses her forehead and lets her go. “Would you like that?”

“I’d love it.”

Harry was so peculiar, Y/N thought. One second he’s saying they can’t be together and the next he wants to take her out on a date. What she didn’t know was that he had never felt quite so good while having sex. It wasn’t because she felt incredibly tight around him, it had more to do with the trust and natural connect. He felt happy, a feeling he thought would never return.

//

To Y/N’s surprise, Harry was a really good ice skater. The two of them were like a real couple. He would visit her at work, they’d go out to the bar with his friends, and they’d have sleep overs at each other’s places. He quite liked her apartment. Not to mention, he couldn’t keep his hands off her. If they were going for a brisk walk, his hand was in hers. If they were sitting through a move, his arm was around her shoulders, and of course they were having a lot of sex. Even when she had her period, he fucked her.

“Got my red wings years ago, promise it doesn’t gross me out.” He had told her.

And god, when he ate her out. Sometimes they wouldn’t even have full on sex. Sometimes they’d be on the couch, and he’d ask if she would ride her face, and then they would just sixty-nine. Sometimes she would just blow him because she liked the way his come tasted. Harry drank a fuck ton of pineapple juice, even before they started hooking up, he always had a small can of it in his office. He just liked the taste. They were just intimate in all sorts of ways, totally comfortable.

It was when Nessa and Charlotte returned that Harry’s bubbled had to burst. School would be starting in a week, and he needed to make sure his shit was together. He had been to the office a few times, working to make sure his courses were together. He and Y/N were professional and went over the class she would be the TA for.

“This is gonna have to be what it’s like when school starts again, don’t forget.” He would say. It killed her, but she would never do anything to put his job at risk, even if she didn’t think their situation was all that serious. She had to respect his wishes.

“I’d feel more comfortable if you slept over at my place since their home.”

“Harry, they know what’s been going on…Niall and Charlotte still talk, and they-“

“I don’t care, I’d rather you be here…and only on the weekends.”

“What?”

“Saturday nights can be our night. On the weekends, you’re not my TA.”

“What will I be then?”

“My girl.”

They had put the boyfriend/girlfriend label chat on the back burner, but that was all she needed to hear to know that she was really his, and he certainly didn’t want someone else trying to steal her away. He had gotten her a necklace, it was simple, but very much her style. A way of showing her how much she truly meant to him.

“Anytime during the week you’re feeling like I don’t want you because I can’t show my affection, this will be your reminder of how much I care.”

She thought it was incredibly sweet, and it was nice to have the reassurance. When classes started, it was definitely difficult. The one thing getting her through this first week was his birthday party on Saturday. Just a small thing with friends at the bar, but still. They wouldn’t have to hide there, or so she thought. Some other professors were invited to the party, which meant Harry couldn’t touch Y/N. He frowned immediately. He wasn’t in charge of the guest list. He pulls Y/N to the side before they walk into the main area.

“I’m so sorry, I promise when we get back to my place later I’m gonna love on you all night.”

“Harry, it’s okay. It’s your birthday, I’m the one that’ll be doing the loving. Go on, enjoy.”

He gives her a discrete peck on the cheek, and then walks into the main room to say hello to everyone. Y/N invited Charlotte and Nessa, so she had other people to talk to. Niall’s arm was hooked around Charlotte’s waist the entire night. Y/N and Nessa teased her every chance they got.

“I’ve been told to check in on you. Orders from the birthday boy.” Louis says to Y/N.

“Thanks.” She chuckles. “It’s okay. Next year things will be totally different.”

“Really see things lasting then, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question.

“I think so, yeah. If the person who he said actually retires, I’m hoping to be able to work at the university to start out.”

“That would be great. He raves about you, you know? He’s a simple guy, likes being domestic. I think he said one of his favorite things to do with you is just cook a meal together.”

“Aw, he’s so sweet.” She pouts. “I like doing that too.”

Harry was mingling with everyone that came out for his birthday. Everyone sang to him, a cake was made him too. The second he tasted it he knew Y/N had baked it. He thought at the least they could have their picture taken together, that wouldn’t look weird.

“Harry!” One of the faculty members, Constance, comes over to him, a young woman by her side. “There’s someone I want you to meet, this is my daughter, Angie.”

“Oh! Hi, I’ve heard a lot about you.” He politely shakes her hand.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” She blushes.

“I’ll leave you to it.” Constance winks and walks away.

“I’m so sorry about her. She conned me into coming here, hope I’m not crashing your birthday.”

“You’re not.” He looks back at Y/N and then to Angie. “So, this is a set up then?”

“She seems to think we have a lot in common.”

“And perhaps we might, but…I’m sort of seeing someone. It’s a…long distance thing, so she’s not here tonight, unfortunately.”

“Oh! She could have sworn you were single, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright. I’m sure you’re lovely, I just really like this woman and I don’t want to screw it up.” He smiles and she nods.

Harry finally makes his way over to Y/N and Louis.

“Do me a favor,” He says to Louis, taking out his phone. “Take a picture of us.”

“Are you sure?” Y/N asks.

“Positive.” He smiles and puts an arm around her shoulders. Louis snaps a couple of shots and hands Harry his phone back. “Sorry you won’t be able to post these…”

“Well, I could, my insta is private, but we can talk about it later.”

“Lou, could you drop Y/N off at my place when this is over, we drove together, but I don’t wanna risk anyone seeing us leave in the same car.”

“Course, mate.”

Harry nods and walks away to continue talking to other people.

“He acts like you’re his student. I don’t see anything wrong with you two doing what you’re doing.”

“I don’t either.” She sighs. “But he worked so hard to get where he is, I have to respect doing things his way. It was a long week, but I’m happy to be going back to his place later.”

Y/N’s lips were on Harry’s the second he let her through the door. He made sure to get home before her so they didn’t even leave at the same time. She had him pushed against the wall and his hands were all over her.

“Missed you so fucking much.” He says, walking her back towards the living room. “And I loved the watch you got me, you didn’t have to do that.”

“Wanted to.” She starts unbuttoning his shirt and pushes him down on the couch, straddling him in no time.

“Gonna let me lick it, angel?”

“Is that what you want?”

“You have no idea. You’re as sweet as the cake you made me.”

“How did-“

“Y/N, I know it’s only been a month, but I’d know your baked goods anywhere.” He smirks.

She giggles and stands up to unbutton her jeans. He yanks them down her legs along with her panties and she kicks them to the side. Harry lays down on the couch and Y/N hovers over his face. He liked it better this way. One, he didn’t have to get on his knees and suffer through the pain of being on the hardwood. Two, he liked the way Y/N would just ride his tongue.

Max was upstairs, thanks to the gate. So they didn’t have to worry about him coming down and jumping on them.

“Fuck, Harry.” She moans. “Your tongue feels so good.” She rocks her hips back and forth on him, the stubble from his chin feeling extra delicious. He moans against her, lapping up every drop. “You like that, birthday boy? Like having me on you like this?” She looks down at him and see his eyes rolling into the back of his head. He sucks on her clit harshly, and that pushes her over the edge. “Oh, fuck!”

Once she’s through, she climbs off him. Before she knows it, he’s throwing her over his shoulder to bring her upstairs. He gives her bum a smack and she squeals. Y/N left plenty of scratch marks on Harry that night.

//

Y/N was antsy for every weekend. The weeks dragged on, and the weekends went by in a flash. Then she remembered something wonderful.

“Spring break!” She says, bursting into their shared office.

“What about it?” Harry chuckles.

“Two weeks off without the students!” She leans a little closer to him. “Two weeks of me not being your TA.” She grins and then sits down in her seat.

“We’ll be grading, darling.” He says nonchalantly.

“This is a pet name free zone, remember?”

“Sorry.” He smirks. “Didn’t think ‘darling’ would get your knickers in twist.”

“Fuck off.” She rolls her eyes. “Do we seriously have to grade? Can’t we do fun things? I have time off from school, I don’t wanna do anything.”

“M’surprised you don’t want to go home or go with your friends somewhere.”

“I’ve done the whole go to Florida and get blitzed thing, I’m all set. And I may go home for a couple of days, but I don’t really like being home long. Somehow I get stuck doing chores, and I get aggravated.”

“I’ll tell you what, if we get through enough of the grading, we can do something really fun.”

“Deal.” She smiles.

Sometimes Y/N felt like this was only hard for her, but it killed Harry. He had fantasies of bending Y/N over his desk, or even just kissing her good morning. He even started letting her come over on Friday nights instead of Saturday because he just couldn’t wait any longer. He knew he was being overly careful, but he just couldn’t risk it.

//

Harry stayed true to his word. They got through a lot of the grading so drove them out to the coast for a walk on the pier at a large beach. It was still too chilly for real beach weather, but there were less people around this time of year, and some of the shops were open. Y/N clung to Harry’s arm and they both just enjoyed the fresh air and the scenery. He took her to a nice dinner, and then they walked for a bit to watch the sunset.

“This was the perfect day.” She sighs as they begin their drive back to his place.

“It really was.” His rests his hand on her thigh and gives it a squeeze. “I love you, Y/N.”

She whips her head to look at him. His eyes were focused on the road. Tears start to prick at her eyes. No one ever said that to her before. She had been in relationships, but she never really got to a point for such strong words, and she certainly never felt it back.

“I love you, too.”

“Aw, look at us.” He smiles. “Two people in love.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to say that…” She sniffles.

“Hey, no need to cry, darling.”

“I just…no one’s ever told me they loved me before.”

“What?!” He squeezes her leg tighter. “But there’s so much to love. You’re kind, caring, an incredible baker, witty, funny, brilliant-“

“Harry, please.” She chuckles. “When we get home we’re making love.”

“I’ve made love to you before, just didn’t say anything. Anytime we’re really soft and careful, I’m making love to you.”

“God.” Her face flushes, thinking of the many sensual times he’s touched her. “Well, I can’t wait to do it again.”

//

It was a Tuesday, which meant Y/N wouldn’t be in the office with Harry. She had class and then a shift at Bento’s. He wanted her to be able to nap in between. He saw that the open IDS position had been posted, and he emailed her immediately. He couldn’t wait to work on her resume and cover letter together.

“Harry?” Constance knocks on the outside of his door.

“Hey, Connie! Come on in.” He beams at her. She squints at his collar, seeing just the top of a love bite.

“Did you see that girlfriend of yours this weekend?” She asks, as she sits down.

“Sure did.” He smiles. “I saw her for a while over spring break too, told her I loved her, and she said it back. I’m on cloud nine. M’sorry things didn’t line up with your daughter, she’s a very pretty girl. My friend Lou is single, maybe-“

“Harry, Harry.” She chuckles. “No worries at all, she’s been dating around a bit. I shouldn’t have just assumed you were single, and that’s great that you two are doing so well. I think I thought you weren’t seeing anyone because with your last girlfriend…well…you had pictures of her on your desk, and you gushed about her. We don’t even know this one’s name.”

“You will soon enough.” Harry did have pictures of Y/N, they were just discrete. His lock screen was the picture of them at his birthday, and his wallpaper was just a picture of her. He could look at her whenever he wanted. “She’s, uh, finishing up grad school.”

“Oh, good for her! Anyways, I came here to chat with you about my sabbatical. Obviously it’s turned into a full year instead of just the fall semester. We’re going to have a department meeting, but I wanted to see how you’d feel about stepping in as department chair while I’m gone.”

“Are you serious?!” He perks up.

“Yes.” She chuckles.

“That would be a dream! I have so many ideas, and-“

“It would mean you wouldn’t be able to teach as many classes, and you’ll have more responsibilities over winter and summer break.”

“That’s no problem, honestly. I only go to London for a couple of weeks, I’m usually in the area for summer. I’d love to give it a go. I didn’t think I’d be next in line.”

“It’s coming from my own suggestion. I’ve been doing this a long time, and I think you’d be great at it. It would sort of be a trial, and then when I come back we could reflect on the experience.”

Harry was buzzing, absolutely buzzing. He needed to tell Y/N about his good news, so he hops in his car, and zips over to her apartment. She was vegging out in a t-shirt and panties with Nessa and Charlotte, who were both dressed in the same thing. They hear the bell on their door.

“Who the fuck is that? It’s nearly nine.” Nessa says.

“No idea.” Y/N says, getting up to check it out. She sees Harry through the peephole. Her eyebrows raise, but she opens the door. “Dr. Styles, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Y/N, I’m sorry for…” He looks her up and down. “This is how you open the door?!”

“I saw it was you.” She shrugs and steps aside to let him in.

“Hi, Harry.” Charlotte and Nessa say at the same time.

“Hi girls.” He smiles and looks at Y/N. “I got great news today and I just had to see you, can we got to your room?”

“Of course.” Once they’re both in there, they sit on her bed. “So what’s up? I got your email about the job, I’m really excited.”

“Good news for both of us today. Connie, my department chair, came by to see me today, and she wants me to be department chair while she’s on sabbatical next year while she’s gone. It would be like a trial run. Me! Department chair! I have so many ideas, this is the opportunity I’ve been hoping for.”

“Oh, Harry.” She throws her arms around him. “That’s incredible, I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks.” He holds her in his arms for a moment and then lets her go so he can stand up. “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Harry…” She whines.

“Don’t start, I just wanted to see your face when I told you.”

“You could have FaceTimed me.”

“Oh.” He shakes his head. “It’s been a long day.” He chuckles.

“You can stay.”

“No, I can’t.” He caresses one of her cheeks. “I want to, but I can’t. Soon, babe, so soon.”

“Um…” She stands up and looks down. “If I get this job…I mean…the lease for this place is up June first, and…well…the girls are going to be working in schools, and won’t need to live here anymore, and…I mean, I could find new roommate and sign a new lease...”

“Or, you could come move in with me.” He takes her hands in his and kisses her knuckles.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I want you to. I want you around all the time. Being apart from you during the week really fucks with how clingy I naturally am.” He smirks.

“I like it, though. We spend all weekend in your big, comfy bed.”

“Look forward to it every week.” He sighs happily. “Just gotta get through you walking across that stage, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright.” He kisses her cheek. “I love you, sweet dreams.”

“I love you too.”

//

Harry helped Y/N apply for the job, and after two nerve-wracking rounds of interviews, and two weeks of pure stress that even Harry’s cock couldn’t squash, she got the call that she got the job. Harry took Y/N out to celebrate, they both nearly cried when she got the call. She told her parents and they were ecstatic.

“In a few years, if you feel like it, you could get your PhD for free through the university.” He says to her as they’re laying in bed.

“Hm, three degrees from the same place.” She taps her chin. “Doesn’t seem like a great idea.”

“If you can do it for free, you should. It was the smartest thing I ever did. Well that, and giving into you.”

“Giving into me?!” She laughs. “You make it sound like I seduced you.”

“I fell for you so hard. You’re just so wonderful.” He pouts. “Are your parents excited to meet me in a couple of weeks? I’m excited to meet them.”

“They’re definitely curious to see who the guy I’m going to be moving in with is.”

“Are you going to miss the girls?”

“So much! They’ve been great to live with. Nessa’s moving in with Andy. She found a college in the city he works in to teach at. She’s so good at putting productions together, I’m excited for her. Charlotte may be in the area, though. Something tells me the school she’ll be teaching at is close by to Niall.”

“I’ve never seen him so smitten. He takes the more serious part of a relationship slow, but once he’s in he’s in.” He pulls her closer to him. “Everything’s falling into place. I’ve been working with Connie to get prepared for the fall, and I couldn’t be more excited.”

“I’m really proud of you.”

“I’m proud of you too, babe.”

//

The day they had both been waiting for was finally here. The graduate ceremony was in the evening, separate from the undergraduate ceremony. Y/N wouldn’t be able to see Harry until after the ceremony. She was busy with her parents and younger siblings. Harry may have clapped and cheered extra loud when she walked across the stage. Most people around him thought it was just because she had been his TA for an entire year. Literally no one suspected more was going on between them. After today it wouldn’t matter anyways.

There was a champagne reception after the ceremony. Y/N easily found her family.

“We’re so proud of you honey. Another degree, a new job, and you’re moving in with a guy!” Her mom says.

“I’m still not thrilled about the last part. We don’t even know him.” Her dad says.

“But I do, so it’s a good thing I’m the one living with him, not you.”

Harry makes his way through the crowd over to her and her family. He takes a deep breath, and when she spots him she squeals. She runs over and jumps into his arms. They kiss as he swings her around.

“You did it!”

“I did it!” They both jump up and down for a moment. “Come on.” She holds his hand to bring him over to everyone. “Harry, these are my parents, and my two younger siblings. Ellie is going to be a senior in college this fall, and Ryan is going to be a sophomore. He’s actually transferring here in the fall.”

“That’s great! Hi, it’s so nice to meet all of you.” He shakes everyone’s hands.

“Damn, a PhD.” Ellie whispers to her sister and winks. “Nice job.” The girls giggle together.

They all decide to go out to dinner together to get to know each other better. Harry and Y/N would be meeting up with Charlotte, Nessa, and the others at the bar once dinner was over. Y/N explains how they waited a while to make things official because Harry wanted to make sure things remained professional. Harry easily impressed her parents. He was incredibly smart and knew how to work people over. Even her dad was happy with him.

Y/N got pretty drunk at the bar with her friends, and Harry was able to keep his arms around her all night without a care in the world. When he got her inside his place, he couldn’t stop kissing her and telling her much he loved her over and over. She was excited to start her new job in a couple of weeks, and he was excited she genuinely wanted to stay, and wasn’t just doing this for him. They would spend the time before starting her job to get her all moved in. They even talked about getting a larger place at some point.

“I can’t wait to snuggle with Mac every night.” She giggles as she gets into bed.

“Hey, what about me?” He pouts.

“I guess you’re nice to snuggle with too.” She jokes.

“Mhm.” He kisses on her and hovers over her. “My girl’s got her master’s. You’re so fucking smart, it turns me on.”

“Really?”

“When we did those mock interviews in my office I couldn’t stop thinking about fucking you.”

“Does this mean we can get a little sneaky in your office now?” She raises an eyebrow at him. “Or are you staying firm with your open door policy?”

“Think I may have to reconsider it, but only for you.”

[raplinesmoon]

a few thoughts ✨

I really woke up today thinking that it was gonna be like any other day. And for all intents and purposes, it is. The sky is blue where I live, the birds are singing. I woke up to cuddles from my cat, and I was expecting to laugh and smile through the Festa live.

Instead, things didn’t go like I expected them to. And I was immediately transported back to 2020 having bought tickets for the MOTS7 tour, so excited to see BTS in concert. Except that didn’t go the way I expected it to either. During that time, when everything seemed dark and the future seemed so bleak, I saw the world become weary and worn out. Everything shut down around us, and we lost things and people we held dear. Amidst the shattered hopes and dreams, there was a ray of sunshine peeking through it all. That was Bangtan. When the world lost everything, they continued to give us hope and promise for the future. And after today’s news, I know they’ll continue to do the same.

My journey with Bangtan actually goes back a little bit further than that spring of 2020 though. During my second year of dental school, I was nearly failing out of school. Things weren’t making sense to me, and I felt so lost. There were a lot of times I just thought about quitting it all, giving up my hopes and dreams because I felt so numb. And then I met Kim Namjoon. Namjoon taught me that it’s okay to struggle, it’s okay to find your own way, even if it’s different from everyone else’s. That life can be beautiful and wonderful amidst the struggles, because we have so much to live for and so much to love for.

“Maybe I made a mistake yesterday, but yesterday’s me is still me. I am who I am today, with all my faults. Tomorrow I might be a tiny bit wiser, and that’s me, too. These faults and mistakes are what I am, making up the brightest stars in the constellation of my life. I have come to love myself for who I was, who I am, and who I hope to become.”

Namjoon’s words and Bangtan’s comfort will always stick with me. The interviews, the concepts, the lives, the mvs, the mixtapes. I’m thankful for all of it, because they took some of the worst years of my life and gave me a reason to keep going, and to greet every day with a smile on my face. I graduated a few weeks ago, a moment I thought I’d never be able to see, and part of me just wants to write Bangtan a letter, thanking them for everything they’ve done, because just like I wouldn’t be Dr. Isi without the support of my friends and family, I wouldn’t be Dr. Isi without them either.

Now, as I face the next great challenge and transition to residency, I can’t help but think of the Festa live today. I remember that quote of Namjoon’s talking about Bangtan on a boat, all looking in seven different directions, but on the same boat at the end of the day. And my heart can heal. It can find peace in knowing that while this chapter has come to a close, there’s a whole new chapter waiting to be discovered. That both myself, and the boys, can spend this next period recovering from the burnout and the struggles that they thought no one would be able to understand, and abandon their worries to find happiness and tranquility.

I’m excited to move into my new apartment. It has lots of natural light and good acoustics so I know I can blast Hope World 2 and dance to Hoseok at Lollapalooza. I’m excited to go out and eat at new restaurants and cook and bake new things, and know that Jin is able to do the same. I’m excited to reunite with friends I haven’t seen in years and laugh and share stories together, just like Tae. I’m excited to learn new things in my classes and keep building my knowledge, but also serve as a mentor to younger students like Yoongi. I’m excited to just be able to leave work at the end of the day and have it be done, and come home and sleep on my mattress (I don’t have 25 though) like Jungkook. I’m excited to love and be loved in return, like Jimin. And I’m excited that life is going on, that I’m here to witness it all at my own pace, and that I can finally stop and smell the roses, ride my bike, and visit museums. Namjooning at its finest.

Words can never begin to cover the love I have for the boys and everything and everyone they’ve introduced me to, but I’ll say this: I’m glad to be in a world where there’s Bangtan. And after being part of each other’s lives for so long, we get a new season to explore together, to be happy together, and to face the future together. I can’t help but cry - but I don’t think all these tears are sad ones. Obviously when things change, it takes time to process. But soon enough, that change will blossom into something new and beautiful. Until the spring day comes again. 💜