#worst of all os that im worries this could be a heart thing in which case k definitely wont be able to sleep because of fear
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i just want to sleep man
*leans against door seductively* does anyone have any tips on what to do when its hard + uncomfortable to breathe and ur heart is beating faster than normal to the point where its hard to focus on anything else
#rambles#(will delete later)#it got worse a little bit#and k cant sleep even though k took multiple things tk help me sleep (melotonin and this muscle relax stuff)#i am anything but relaxed#im trying not to get into it cuz i dont like airing out all my problems to the whole world and o dont want ppl to worry or b uncomfortable#i just want to sleep. but i cant#i do t feel better i feel worse#i need to go to the doctor but i cant go until morning but i cant sleep so o haveto wait#im stuck im stuck and k cant do anythign abt jt#worst of all os that im worries this could be a heart thing in which case k definitely wont be able to sleep because of fear#the problem is that i dont know#sorry. sorryy#i wilk get throu it its just one rough patch out of endless tommorow#will#im sorry this is a lot.#i will be okay
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Robber Claws
hi guys! i've read a bunch of your fics and got inspired so i wrote a thing! enjoy ;) also, it's pretty long so...buckle up! love yall <3
The criminals lurk in the mist, invisible, but Sofiya Pavlichenkov knows they’re there.
She’s perched in the Lookout’s nest of her Warship in Fourth Harbour, pretending to read the documents her first mate, Kastor, has just handed to her. But her blue coat is flapping in the wind and her papers keep jostling and she’s being watched, all of which is rather uncomfortable.
Idly, Sofiya wonders what the criminals might want. A smuggling, perhaps? Out and away from stinking, crawling, loathsome Ketterdam?
Sofiya hates this city. His city. She misses Ravka, her homeland- the Little Palace.
I miss my bloody Kefta, Sofiya thinks darkly as another bought of wind spirals harshly through the Harbour. The blue coat she wears is a subtle nod to her Tidemaker status, but it’s a sad, thin piece of cloth compared to the grandeur of the Fabrikator-made Keftas. But Sofiya can’t wear her Kefta, not if she wants to blend in in Kerch- a lesson she learned long ago…
Old enemies, Sofiya. Old enemies, but not withered grudges.
Huffing out a sigh that would make Zoya Nazyalensky proud, Sofiya rises gracefully to her feet.
They’re coming. She can feel it; they’re making their way towards the ship. They don’t have to be rowdy to intimidate, that’s for sure - or to make a crowd of Merchants and Thieves part like the sea almost immediately.
Sofiya reaches up behind her head and loops her hand around a piece of knotted rope; takes a deep, steadying breath.
And she steps off the platform into the open air.
For a moment, she catches on the air as if a Squaller has caught her on a buffering breeze, but sure enough, gravity kicks in.
Sofiya welcomes the feeling of her stomach in her throat as the fall takes hold, zipping her past the sails. It's good preparation, anyway, for the three dark figures moving up the docks towards her.
As they near and Sofiya lands lightly on the deck, she confirms what she already knew: these were criminals. Her criminals.
The trio stops in front of her. They're all wearing black and gold - not a uniform exactly, but it’s a solid way to show your allegiance. None of their hands were visible, but if they were, Sofiya would find the Robber Claws emblem branded cleanly onto the backs of their knuckles. Their hoods are drawn up over their faces, but Sofiya can tell from their posture who she’s dealing with.
"Ah, Iseut," Sofiya says serenely, "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
The girl in the middle pulls down her hood, revealing shining blond hair, dark eyes, full lips. She doesn’t smile.
"Where have you been, Sofiya?" Iseut asks coolly.
"The Wandering Isle," Sofiya answers immediately, "I stopped at Os Kervo on my return to pick up some supplies. I'm only three days late, Is. Cut me some slack."
Iseut sighs, and suddenly looks less the badass, fake-waitress man-killer, and more the tired mother of a delinquent child. Sofiya feels a flicker of guilt.
She had stopped at Os Kervo for more than one reason. The "supplies" were crates upon crates of commandeered Fjerdan weapons and traps, intercepted by the First Army on their way to the Front Line. Sofiya had paid nothing to take them off the hands of the Ravkan soldiers, who honestly had no clue where to send them. What good were jerky Fjerdan guns to a sophisticated, well-oiled Second Army legion?
Sofiya could picture Zoya's face at the sight of the sad little weapons. Disgust and disdain, unshakable beauty - and perhaps just a little bit of pride that her friend had been the one to collect the Fjerdan cargo. Sofiya would work on selling it all later. She'd dump the Grisha traps in the ocean, though. Drown them like they deserved to be drowned.
"I am sorry, Iseut," Sofiya says, and her words aren’t mistruths.
"Don't apologise to me," Iseut says dismissively, "It’s your friends that were barely able to sleep the past few nights. You should talk to -"
"Destry," Sofiya's words mist the air like a fine rain, "I know."
One of the tall figures stood behind Iseut lowers her own hood. Lyra. Ly.
It made sense that the Robber Claws would send their best Bruisers to Fourth Harbour. Sofiya knew by the other Robber's posture that beneath the hood, she would find the face of Winter. But Winter wouldn't lower her hood in front of so many people, so Sofiya was content with what she could get.
"You really had Destry worried, Sof," Ly says, chastising.
"Destry can handle me being gone for weeks on end," Sofiya crosses her arms. She will not be guilt-tripped, "This job was half a week, and I was only a few days off schedule. I did tell Cherry that I'd be late." The words come out as a question.
None of them say anything.
Another flash of worry courses through Sofiya. Cherry Vlasova is a Heartrender, and one of Sofiya's closest friends. The message that Sofiya had forwarded was simple and concise: I'll be a few days late. Stopping at Os Kervo. Don't worry, no Fjerdans. Tell Destry -S.P
Had something happened to Cherry? She was an avid gossiper; her post box was always full of tip-offs (a useful source of information for the Robber Claws) but Sofiya was reliably informed that her letters were always placed on the top of the pile. Marked "URGENT."
"What happened? Is Cherry alright?" Sofiya demands.
Iseut holds up her palms, and they are callused and grease-marked. Sometimes Iseut is so well put together that Sofiya forgets she's a barmaid.
"Cherry is fine. But all our Grisha are shaken. Whilst you were away, there was an attack on the East Stave."
Sofiya's heart stops and restarts and stops again.
An attack. On the Grisha. And she wasn’t there to - to help, to defend-
"Destry," Sofiya breathes, "And Cherry - and Adali, Roza, Linnea, Yan, Anya- oh, Saints, was it the Fjerdans?"
There are many Grisha members of the Robber Claws. It was one of the reasons that Sofiya wanted to join them in the first place. If the Fjerdans had attacked -
"Everybody is fine," Ly says lowly, "We had Freya and May fixing people up as soon as we heard- and Lita, of course, but behind the scenes."
Freya and May- and even Lita, whose powers most of the gang didn't even know of. Grisha Healers. So people had been hurt.
"What. Happened." Sofiya growls, and Ly glares at her challengingly, fists clenching. The water beneath the decking froths and bubbles as Sofiya brings her own fists together, power surging pleasantly up her arms. If Ly wants a fight, she can have one.
"Calm down, both of you," Winter's smooth voice projects from under her hood. Despite the heavy fabric, her voice is clear and commanding. Sofiya takes a breath to compose herself.
"To answer your previous question: no. It wasn't the Fjerdans." Iseut says, "We don’t know what they were."
Sofiya's brow creases at the chime of fear in Iseut's voice. She's never seen the golden-haired barmaid afraid before.
It begins to rain softly, the pattering of droplets quiet against the wooden decking of the docks.
"We should go back to the Queen’s Head, Iseut," Ly suggests, referencing Iseut’s place of work. Iseut nods once, swiftly, and glances over Sofiya's shoulder at her warship.
"Do you need to...?"
"Yes."
"Go on, then."
"KASTOR! IM GOING FOR A ROUND OF DAY-DRINKING!" Sofiya yells over the shoulder of her rain-splattered coat. She hears Ly chuckle as Kastor's scruffy head pokes out from a window.
He nods at Sofiya when he spots her, and she waves, assenting. Kastor would keep everything safe whilst she was gone. It was their unspoken agreement, unchanging and unwavering since the day they'd become crewmates.
Sofiya turns back to Iseut, Ly and Winter.
"Let's be on our way," she says, and lets her fellow criminals lead the way along the Harbour, her warship disappearing into the mist behind her.
~~~~
The mid-day slump of customers meant that the Robber Claws had the Queen’s Head pub all to themselves.
Iseut- who did not own the pub, but had put more work into it than the real owners ever did- had immediately trekked behind the bar and poured herself a whisky.
"Want anything?" She asks, directing the question directly at Sofiya despite the equal presence of Ly- and Winter (who had lowered her hood slightly now that she was back on familiar ground, with familiar faces.) Bruisers didn’t drink on the job. It slowed reflexes.
"The story," says Sofiya firmly, "It a joke about the day-drinking. What happened?"
Iseut pours herself another whiskey and the quartet take a seat at a shady little circular table in a quiet corner. The murmurs of other Robber Claws members is enough to shelter their conversation from the group- despite Sofiya being sure she was the only one unaware of what had transpired the days she’d been gone.
As Iseut begins her story, with Winter and Ly regularly interjecting with additions, Sofiya feels horror and fear clamp down on her heart like a Fjerdan Grisha trap.
Iseut’s alluring voice weaves a tale of Komedie Brute actors in bloody masks, rose-painted rubble from an impossible explosion, and worst of all: Grisha. Dead Grisha, killed by creatures with screeching metal wings.
“Only a few of our Grisha were hurt,” Iseut sips her drink solemnly, “We took your advice of keeping them anonymous and undercover. We have Erin and our other spies out searching for answers at the embassies. I’m sure you’re just as eager to find out about the winged creatures as we are.”
Sofiya nods, “I am. Thank you for filling me in, Is, really. And to you, Ly, Winter. I know you don’t like going to far from the West Stave.”
The last comment was directed purely at Winter. It’s not a lie. Winter runs a dojo for training Kerch’s women to protect themselves from Barrel bosses and scum alike; she didn’t want her clients finding out about her… Robber side. Being a criminal wasn’t the most unintimidating, friendly persona to have when speaking with vulnerable women.
Sofiya respected Winter and her clean profession. It was hard to be so kind in the Barrel. And men were rarely kind to women at all.
Sofiya knew that first hand.
Shoving away the memories- blue eyes, dark hair, gorgeous smile, charming words and sharper wounds- Sofiya stands in one fluid movement.
“I’m going to find Destry,” she says. Iseut stands, Ly and Winter falling back to flank her again, and smiles. She’s beautiful, that is undoubtful, but the attacks- the sleazy men at the Queen’s Head, the strain of the city- it’s all gotten to her. Sofiya can see it.
This city is poison, thinks Sofiya as Iseut takes her hand and shakes it. Poison and rot.
“Destry will be in her rooms,” Ly supplies, and Sofiya nods at her once.
Sofiya grins brightly, hoping it covers her own weariness, and recites, “Fair winds.”
“Bright stars,” chorus her friends. Sofiya waves over her shoulder as she slips out of the bar and down an alley. Above her, a storm brews in the clouds.
Perhaps the stars would be out that night. It didn’t matter. Nobody in Kerch saw the stars anymore.
~~~~
On her way to Destry’s apartments, Sofiya ran into more members of the Robber Claws.
Malcolm and Firefly, who lived together in shared housing in the Anvil, were shopping for new blacksmiths’ equipment. They each provided invaluable services to the Robber Claws, crafting flawless weapons second only to that of Fabrikators. They greeted her with a wink each. Sofiya moved on swiftly after trading them a Wandering Isle-crafted staff for twenty Kruge.
She picked up some baked goods on the way. She would need them. Destry- who had been her closest friend since she arrived in Kerch- was an Inferni. Fire-bringer; with an even fierier temperament. Rumour had it- and Sofiya knew the rumours were true- that Destry had been attending the University of Ketterdam when she’d heard a boy make a lude comment during an exam and lit the paper on fire with her mind. And that paper had been thrown. At the boy’s face. Ouch.
Sofiya had been nursing a whiskey in a tavern when she’d first heard the story recounted. She’d leapt up from her seat, slithered into an alley and held the recounter at knifepoint until he’d told her Destry’s name.
They’d become fast friends upon meeting. Sofiya had been in awe of someone so rebellious, so brave as to set fire to an exam paper, and Destry- well. Destry had laughed for hours when Sofiya had told her how she’d first come across her name.
But now, staring up at the ornate windows of Destry’s apartment, Sofiya feels unsure. She didn’t mean to worry her friend. Iseut had explained that her letter must have gotten lost during the riots. Sofiya cursed the post offices. So there was a deadly storm- your motto is still “We always deliver.”
Despite her trepidation, Sofiya’s feet were swift on the stairs. She had a key to the apartment, and didn’t hesitate to unlock the door and slip inside without a sound, content to watch Destry whilst she worked; even if only for a moment.
Leaning against the wall, Sofiya’s brow creases as she surveys her friend. Destry’s hair is plaited carefully into two loops at the nape of her neck, hazel strands freeing themselves gently against her light brown skin. She’s stood facing away from Sofiya, arms circled in rings of fire. The shirt she wears is Fabrikator-made; the flames don’t take to the papery material.
Sofiya takes a step forward, and pointedly drops her bag of confectionary on the floor. It lands with an audible thump.
Destry whirls, the fire at her wrists whirling into an inferno ready to strike- until Destry sees who is at her door.
“Shouldn’t have hesitated, Des,” Sofiya said weakly, “I could have put a knife in your back.”
The shock on Destry’s face dissolves. Her face splinters down the middle. Licks of fire at her fingertips wilt into ash in a pile at her boot-clad feet.
“You would have put out the flames with your water, I’m sure,” Destry says, and then flies across the room towards Sofiya, wrapping her in a tight, smoke-smelling embrace.
Sofiya would normally pull back. “Don’t be too open with your heart, Des,” she’d say, “People use your loves against you here.” But Sofiya couldn’t bring herself to say those things. The weight of the week comes crashing down on her head like a tsunami.
Fjerdan traps on my boat, attacks on my gang, tensions in Ravka boiling over… where’s safe anymore, except here?
Destry pulls back slightly to scan Sofiya’s face. She has a smear of oil on her cheek. Destry’s eyes are filled with fire, burning like an ember beneath onyx waters.
“Where. Have. You. Been.”
“Destry-”
“Don’t you make excuses with me, Pavlichenkov,” Destry snarls, “You didn’t warn us you were late! I couldn’t sleep- neither could Cherry!”
“I-”
“We thought you’d been caught, Sofi,” Destry cries, “We thought the Fjerdans had got you! I thought you died.”
The word is ugly and big in the room, choking Sofiya’s response. Death. Dying. Dead. And by Fjerdan hands. It wasn’t so rare for travelling Grisha to be caught and sent to the pyres.
“I’m sorry,” Sofiya says, because it’s the only thing there is, “I wrote- I really did, don’t look at me like that- according to Lyra, there was a storm in the True Sea. The letter sunk with the ship.”
“You’re a Tidemaker,” Destry huffs.
“Yes, which means I manipulate water,” Sofiya says, “Not stop it from overturning ships with important letters on them. Destry, I’m sorry. I brought waffles.” She offers the last sentence like a defendant on trial with the Stadwatch; one final piece of evidence to prove her innocence.
Destry brightens immediately, “Well, in that case.”
The pair of them set to work, shoulders just brushing in the cramped kitchenette. Sofiya’s array of pasties are laid out over two plates, which they lay on their laps. Destry’s job for the Robber Claws is, in few words, that of the logician. Papers are scattered all over her apartment, covered in detailed blueprints and scale drawings of buildings all over Ketterdam, Fjerda and even- rarely- Shu Han. There were no drawings of Ravka.
If Iseut had ever commissioned a robbery in Ravka, Sofiya didn’t know about it. It would be…unwise to hit out at the Ravkans, with so many Grisha in the gang.
But Destry’s job was essential, so Sofiya couldn’t complain about the lack of trays to put their plates on. Such things were useless for such an incredible mind as Destry’s.
“So,” says Destry conversationally as she lights the fireplace with a casual flick of her wrist, “How were the Wandering Isles?”
Sofiya says nothing, massaging her temples lightly. Destry manages a laugh.
“Your silence is telling, Sofi,” she warns.
Sighing quietly, suddenly feeling very tired, Sofiya says, “It was crawling with our Fjerdan friends from the North. ‘Peaceful’ Fjerdans.”
Destry spins, and she is outlined with the fire. We’re opposites, Sofiya thinks. Fire and Water.
“You didn’t-” Destry begins, horrified.
Silently, solemnly, Sofiya raised her palms to face the ceiling. Destry reaches out.
Her gentle fingers trace the scars there. Deep and painful and barely healed, the scars run red against Sofiya’s pale flesh.
“Sofiya…” Destry breathes.
“It was the only way to push my power down,” Sofiya whispers. She’s rarely so emotive, but Destry is someone she trusts with everything. It was a weakness, some would say, but they were each powerful Grisha. They were Gods in a world of men. And they would not kneel “If I hadn’t, I would’ve been caught. It was a price to pay.”
Grisha shone like lighthouses around people. In Kerch, in Ketterdam, it was safer for them- especially ones loyal to a gang, as Destry and Sofiya were. But in the Wandering Isles; where Fjerdans passed through on their way to Novyi Zem, where gang affiliations mattered less than the colour of your eyes… Sofiya tells herself she had no choice.
“Sofiya, you’ve opened up old wounds here,” Destry says, tracing the marred skin of her palms again, “You need a healer. Freya, Lita, May-”
“Wouldn’t understand,” Sofiya finished, pulling her hands out of Destry’s and placing them carefully in her lap, obscuring them with her coat, “They’re healers, Des, not warriors- they’d go to Iseut.”
Iseut. Their unofficial leader, the founder, the lighthouse in raging seas. All of the Robber Claws seemed to be caught in her gravity. She was their sun. And Sofiya… well, Sofiya was the moon. Iseut would send her to a healer, one who would stop her travels. One who would commandeer her Warship, and Kastor… health of the mind was important to Iseut.
But Sofiya was not damaged, as they would tell her. She was not broken. Her mind was sound.
I did what I had to do, to survive.
But Destry can see through it all. Through the mask, through her eyes, right to her bones. Through to her lying, treacherous heart. We’re all broken in the end.
But.
Oh, Destry, Destry, please…
“I won’t tell her,” Destry promises, “But I’d like you to know that I think you should. Tell her, that is- Iseut. She might help.”
“She might ship me back to Ravka,” Sofiya grumbles, biting into a toasty croissant.
“Oh, she wouldn’t.”
“You never know.”
“She’ll want you to heal, that’s all.”
“Yes,” Sofiya rolls her eyes, “But these wounds are of the flesh. The scars on my heart will never heal, not in this life Perhaps there will be mercy in the next, even for my rotten soul.”
“You sound like you’re auditioning for the Komedie Brute,” Destry laughs.
“Mother, Father, pay the rent!” Sofiya crows.
“I can’t my dear, the money’s spent,” Destry choruses instinctively.
Sofiya wipes away an invisible tear, “Gorgeous! We’ll make an actress out of you, yet, Destry Clements.”
“Oh, you most certainly will not,” Destry huffs.
Their laughter fills the air, and Sofiya thinks that maybe there is hope for her rotten soul, after all.
~~~~
The man returns late from the pub wearing only one shoe.
A bottle drained halfway of mauve liquid dangles limply from his pale fingers. The veins in his foot are blue in the half-moon’s light.
He slurs a broken melody. She catches a few words as he passes below her on the street.
“Hmm… perish… light… air… fire… hell… hmmm…”
The man’s name is Danyl Harrop. And he is going to die tonight.
“Hmm… shadow… devil… rot… earth… sun… burn… lose….”
Harrop continues down the road, heedless of the mud on his bare foot. He'd be blackout drunk in the morning if he survived.
He wouldn’t.
Silent as a breeze, steps as soft as downy feathers, she leaps from the streetlight where she was perched.
She strikes.
She is ash and shadow. She is a storm of fire. She is vengeance.
She is death.
Harrop yelps as she pins him against the tree. His face is as white as the moon, with eyes like black craters.
“What’re you doi-” he slurs dazedly, but she silences him with a wave of her hand. He blubbers like a fish on land as he tries to shout for help.
“For King and Country,” says the girl. Stepping away from Harrop, she lets her power hold him against the tree, keeping his muscles upright. She surveys him like an artist would their unfinished masterpiece.
The girl whispers, “Sleep tight, Danyl.”
Flicking her wrist, she snaps his neck. He’s still alive, barely, so she latches on to what little of his mind there is left and strips it like an onion. For a man who is out so late, so drunk, on what the girl remembers as a work-day, he knows too much.
Secrets. They feed this girl, nourish her. There is a skip in her step as she turns away from Harrop; without her supporting his muscles, he collapses against the tree. She leaves his mind just as it goes dark.
There is no need to hide in the treetops upon her return to the city. It gleams just half a mile away, most of which is roiling seawater. As the girl wanders along the road back to Ketterdam, she finds Danyl Harrop’s shoe in a puddle of mud. The girl laughs at the sky. She flips a coin into the shoe, whispers a heartless prayer to her Saints, and moves on.
Back to Ketterdam. Back home.
~~~~
Ok, so that's that! I left it on a bit of a cliffhanger... I may have created a whole plot... so there might be some more coming soon!
all these excellent characters (save Sofiya, Danyl, Kastor and the girl at the end who kills Danyl- who has no name... yet *wink*) belong to the following:
Iseut is @littlegirldorothea's
Destry is @finnick-annie's (I may have made them besties👀👀)
Cherry is @brekkercookie's (they are ALSO besties👀👀 we have a trio omg)
Winter is @cressjacquine's
Lyra is @no-mourners-at-my-funeral's
Malcom is @blackpheonix’s
Firefly is @ask-shadowbon’s
Erin is @lightningboytytonjesper’s
Adali is @apple-bottom-jeansx’s
Roza is @vampire-rights’s
Linnea is @alonlyfangirl's
Yan is @lucentcorrigan’s
Anya is @queenlilith43’s
Freya is @smol-evil-gremlin’s
Lita is @the-whispers-of-moonlight’s
May is @saltyfortunes
and the "Fair winds, bright stars" motto as created by @spicy-tomato-sauce's
oh and the whole Grishaverse is the wonderful @lbardugo's <3
if I missed anyone or you want to tag anyone go ahead!
#shadow and bone#s&b#six of crows#kaz brekker#inej ghafa#nina zenik#matthias helvar#wylan van eck#the crows#pretty people#alina starkov#the darkling#malyen oretsev#mal oretsev#kanej#wesper#helnik#malina#darklina#milo the goat#sankta milo#sankta alina#general kirigan#soc#my writing#fanfic#soc fanfic
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NF: Time
Time never ceases to flow, much like a river flowing ever onward. At times it moves slow and shallow, never seeming to move at all. Others it flows wild and fast, as if they are the strongest rapids man has known. With time you find love, peace, and tranquility. Time also creates destruction, loss, and saddness. What is time without desolation? What is time without purpose? As i sit here staring into the abyss, i cant help but watch the river flow into a nothingness. A dark hole being swallowed by the thoughts of which i call my home. As the waters ripple from small fish and other criters, as the boyancey of the water bottle changes as the small hole slowly takes on water. All the while the trees move ever so softly in the mid summer breeze. Time. Time never stands still. Much like the river, the trees, and the air. Thinking back to much easier times i wonder to myself, why must things always change? From the good, to the bad, to all those in between. Have you ever looked up to the sky, and wondered what birds must feel when they fly? Or a fish swimming up river at the calmest of tides? Do you think its easy? Do you think that they struggle with time? Personally id like to think its much easier for them. In reality their only worry is going forward, forward into an unknown world that only they can precieve. Much like our lives we carry blindly into that which is uncertain. We gain, we lose, we love, and we hate. This path of life really only has one way. One way which os forward. But when the sun dies down, when the river runs dry, what then is there that keeps us moving? Time. Time never judges, it never wavers, it never questions the duties we hold to ourselves and to others. Time has no burdens and holds no resentment for those that cannot flow with the rivers of life. If you had the ability to turn back time, would you honestly do it? The lessons ive learned, the faults ive created, have all just been stepping stones in this hell ive made it. Just like a river flowing, degrading the rocks and the banks it touches. Showing how time wears down even the strongest of objects. To me time is my worst enemy. Even now as i sit here writing my thoughts to this paper, time is not standing still. At this point in my life it feels like time is shorter than i want it to be. They say time heals all wounds, but how can time heal when all it does is consume? As a child i knew that one day i would make mistakes far past healing. I knew deep in my heart that i was meant to fail more than i was to succeed. And yet i carried on this path of self righteous destruction. Hoping that one day i would be saved by anything other than my own will to change. During this many doors have been opened and closed in front of me. Many of nights i lay awake wondering what could have been and what should of been. But time waits for no one. Always moving, always changing, its quite scary thinking about how much time itself holds no cares for the wants and needs of someone like me. Even if i were to change, even if i wanted to change, how long would it take? Would i be able to turn my life around before time takes whats most precious to me? I feel my life right now is at a stand still. The river is only trickling. Waiting to see what my next move is, haunting me, prodding me to make a choice. Do i go forward? Fight the currents of time and change my being? Or do i let it flow slowly, let it drift me down to the darkness of the unkown? Many questions fill my head everyday, selfish questions and selfless questions, both of which i have no answers to. Time is a scary thing that gives me nightmares beyond my wildest dreams. We are all running out of time, but yet its up to us on what to do with the time we have left. My struggle is that i dont know what to do with it, for i dont even know who i am. Maybe time will show me or time will hide the truth. The river i see is cloudy and it feels like im drowning, this river of timely truth. - H. Chant
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hi, mod lilith! :D do you think you could make a post listing the matchup requests you've gotten and will do? just so we know if you've received ours! it can be a hassle though, so please don't feel pressured to >
hi! could i have a matchup? im a gay boy and id like an awakening match please c: im very kind and i like being and caregiver to people. im really shy though, and it kind take time for me to open up. when i do open up however, im very loud and carefree and i like cracking jokes and messing around. i love singing and i have an interest in rapping and song writing, but im also an artist. i work very hard and i can get very serious and competitive. im also really sensitive and i cry alot and easily
I'm 19, male, and straight. INFP and Sagittarius. On the bigger and taller side too. I'm mostly interested in gaming and anime, but I also read quite a number of books. I enjoy debating philosophy and religion, but to be frank, I'll debate anything that I can debate. Personality-wise, I have two outward expressions: stoic and emotionless, and smug half grin. I'm usually pretty antisocial, but I like the company of like-minded people. Basically, those I can battle my wits against, and vice versa. A bit follow up, as I ran out of room. I'd prefer a character from Fates, please. And don't let my profile picture make you feel biased towards Soleil. I just like the picture itself. I wish you luck with these, and I thank you for offering to do them! Keep posting all the great content! Good night for now!
Hi!! Could I get a matchup please, if the mini event is still happening? I was thinking Awakening characters, and I prefer guys. I am an Aquarius and infp; I like people who are very protective, and usually calmer/level headed. I enjoy people who make me feel significant and treat me fairly, and with plenty of attention. Thank you!
Could I have a match for Fates, specifically Conquest; preferably a male character? I'm a shy person around people I don't know; yet I don't show it too much as I feel I need to force myself to be out there to make others feel comfortable. I have a short temper and am a very sarcastic person by nature. I take things seriously if needed but tend to like to be the one cracking jokes to ease serious tension. I get nervous often in public situations etc. I enjoy reading and writing, I'm an Aries!
Could I get awakening male match up? I'm a girl, pretty chill. I'm not the most outwardly social but I like talking to people more one on one and having kind of long conversations to really get to know someone. I do have depression though, and sometimes get days where it's bad, so basically just anyone caring and sweet is what I'd look for, but I'm okay with whatever. Thank you!!!!!!!!!
May I have an Awakening matchup? I'm a female looking for a male. Logically minded, but creative. I like cooking and playing video games and I spend a lot of time taking care of my siblings to help my parents out. Also ridden with anxiety and ADHD, but I work through that by working out (I'm in the gym three times a week). Total cat lady. Happiest when I'm alone, but I dearly love my small circle of friends. Also, if it helps, I'm an INTP and Aquarius. Thank you!
For Match-Up; From the Awakening men, please! As for the person to be matched, he is kind and gentle with a soft, warm smile. Patience and optimism are his strongest points being he is never known to lose heart or give up. He does tend to lose track of his own health due to his diligence in his duties though. His mind is sharp however, and often used to devise new and clever approaches to things. He is also a Mage. ISFP-type personality, falling under the Lawful Good morality.
Sorry if I'm sending this through via the wrong method! I'd like to give your match-ups a try (if that's okay) Game: Fates (I don't care which path) MBTI: INTJ (more turbulent) Astrological Sign: Cancer What I like personality wise: • Someone that I can discuss intellectual (especially history-related things) with • Able to comfort/chill someone out • More "mature" (stoic is even okay) • Determined in one way or another • Doesn't mind cats • Does well with a busy partner • Is a guy Thanks! 😸Oh geez, it didn't occur to me that you wanted more info on us as opposed to what we like in relationships. Terribly sorry! It's probably too late, but here's some info on myself (I submitted my request prior to the deadline, but if it was too little info. too late, I totally understand) I'm quite the worry wart use ten words when two would do honestly. I'm a major "dilettante", I dabble in many things but have mastered none. I don't handle extreme emotions all that well. Sorry, and thanks!
I'd like a match up for an awakening character please. No second gens though and preferably a guy. I'm a girl who likes art, reading, and crafting. I have an INFP personality type and I'm a Leo. I tend to keep to myself mostly so someone else would have to initiate conversation. I love animals but I hate bugs. My favorite genre to read is adventure because I find my real life about as interesting as a stale corn chip. True to my zodiac sign my pride is everything to me.
id like an Awakening matchup! Second gen is fine! im 5'8, pan, virgo, INFJ girl with long af brown hair and freckles around my nose and cheeks. im reserved when you first talk to me and its hard for me to really trust people sometimes even if im already close with them. i also make self deprecating jokes to cope w not liking myself a whole lot. im pretty spacey too and i have a hard time remembering stuff. i draw a lot digitally and traditionally and i write sometimes too. thanks in advance!
Hi~ I'd like to request a matchup please! Game: Conquest (all the guys I want to marry are in Nohr oops). Please skip the 2nd gen. Personality: Pisces, INFP, Gryffindor. Easygoing, affable, humourous, thoughtful, observent, affectionate, ambivert, shy but doing my best to put myself out there, introspective, openminded, I've been told I come across as mysterious and intense by people I don't know well. Preference: open/fair minded, loves to learn and travel, even a little romantic/affectionate.
fates matchup please? 😁 i'm a straight entj girl. i'm an outgoing person and take up a lot of leadership roles, e.g. i’m stuco president. i'm a little shy around people at first but i open up quickly. people say that i'm funny and smart, although i am a little mean and a perfectionist... i'm also actually wildly insecure lmao... i also love reading and writing. i don’t enjoy sports but i like volleyball! going out is fun but i can't be around people for too long and like alone time. thank you!
May I please have match up for a male Fates character! Thank you! You're a doll for doin this! I'm generally a calm, if a bit moody kind of girl who adores cute things and nature! I always aim to please and I act sweet and innocent when really I'm only pretending so that people will like me. In reality I'm much more down to Earth and lonely and can care way to deeply about keeping up appearances when all I really want is for someone to look past my façade.
Can I get an Awakening Match-up please? Female, 5'9", strawberry blonde hair and grey eyes, INTP. Looking for a guy who's more of a sweetheart and would never raise his voice to me, long hair is preferred. I need someone who will be strong for me when I can't, and enjoys being showered with affection in return. I enjoy reading, drawing, and cooking. Please no second gen characters. Thanks a bunch!
Please could I ask a match with somebody from awakening. I do not mind which gender you choose. I'm a happy, bit cheeky, kind and caring person, it takes awhile for me to get angry and I will show sympathy to people who needs it. I like other people showing kindness to others and being friendly. I am a Taraus and I own Awakening, Birthright and Revelation
I'm a Taurus whom has a love for food, music, and poetry, tries to keep things orderly in his life for the most part, and yet also loves to flatter those whom I love with compliments and gifts. No gender preference, Fates character.
fates matchup? male please!! i'm an infp gemini,, i'm p outgoing and try to make friends w everyone (which can also be a bad thing bc rejection is the Worst) but i love making people laugh most of all!! i play sports solely for the team aspect (soccer n softball) so i'm also p athletic. but i also do love to write and am v easy-going!! thank u v much for doing these!
Matchup for Fates! I'm an ace girl with romantic interest in everyone, 21 and only 5'3" and I'm kinda shy due to being Autistic. I love horses and archery though, with more interest in writing and drawing. I'm a Cancer, and my favorite time of day os the mid afternoon. I used to be a sport swimmer and diver, but now I enjoy the pool for fun. I can be a little overprotective of those I care for when new people come around as well!
fates/conquest, preference male (anyone BUT Leo, Xander & Laslow), cancer & INFJ Tiny, quiet girl. Doesn't like war or fighting and just wants to make her friends and everyone around her happy. Enjoys music and can play almost every string instrument (except the viola) including the piano. She's very timid yet enjoys talking, especially about different lands and myths. She's kind of sick though and has medical issues that affect her ability to go out a lot. Has no preference for males.
Match-up please! I'm a male who enjoys creative writing, animals, baking, fashion, and nature. I'm playful and tend to tease those who I'm close to. I'm pretty nerdy and I'm scared pretty easily. I also love terrible puns. I'm a Gemini, and I'd prefer a female from Fates! Children are fine, too!
Hi I'm hoping the matchup are still open, thank you for this!! I'd like someone from awakening and preferably one of the dudes pls :) I'm an istp, gryffindor and a Scorpio, I've been told I'm a bit intimidating as well as bold and a bit blunt, but also funny. I prefer to hang out with people who are honest and have integrity, people who start shit for no reason piss me off to no end. It doesn't matter if I don't share similar interests with people so long as we get along and have a good time c: No Kid Characters
For matchup I'd prefer Fates Second Gen characters except for anyone younger than Kiragi, I have no preference for Gender or Personality. As for my personality I'm a very lazy hermit who likes literature and I have a good memory. I can be shy and my mood changes a lot between pessimistic and optimistic. I'm also someone who likes to try new things a lot as long as it doesn't require much of physical activities. I also get lost a lot in my thoughts.
Matchup if still open! I'm five foot 3 and INTP in personality. i don't mind either BR or CQ guys. I'm somewhat distant at first glance. I'm kinda moody and irrational, but try to hide that with jokes and silliness. I'm a pessimist at heart. Very picky about things too, whether it be food, clothes, friends, etc..
Can I have an Awakening matchup? I'm a bisexual ESTJ 5'1 1/2" Pisces girl with too many things to say. I've been told my best traits were my charisma, imagination, consideration, and articulation but that I was stubborn and feisty and I can't be intimidating due to my height. I love engineering, history, and hands-on projects and people say I can never stop smiling. To my s/o I can offer comfort, humor, and perspective. They'd just have to deal with my strange sense of humor, unorthodox way to do things, and when I'm mad, a sharp tongue. But after any fights if I'm not blinded by my own stubbornness, I'll be the one to give in and ask for forgiveness. In the relationship I need someone as willing to hold it up and be a part of it as I am.
#match up event#y'all so lucky I copied them to a doc as I got them to keep them sorted for myself#Anonymous
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