#worst days for meds are mon-wed

[mars-ipan]

i love thursdays i only have to take like 4 pills <3

[annunnaki7]

ARE DISSABLED PEOPLE LAZY? COULD REALLY DO BETTER IF THEY TRIED HARDER? This is an example of an average bad week, like 6/10 bad on mental health and 5/10 on the physical level. Oh yea it gets so much worst! Read this and tell me how I could have improved.  

MAY 2023 

Sat 29.04.23 

-Asthma bad all night. I coughed myself awake so often I didn't get any deep sleep. 

-Fibromyalgia not happy about this, and is flaring up on its way to STOPPING FLARING up instead! 🤬 Joy! So now going to pee has extra general pain added to it. 

- Allergies & Sinus bad. My nose runs non stop. Used 1/2 roll of toilet paper blowing my nose just today. And no, I don't like waisting things. Throwing meds at it. 

-Managed to work with my carer, sorting paperwork. I can't help with much else anymore. I don't have the hand strength to cut a carrot. That's annoying as taking away from my autonomy. 

Sun 30.04.23

- Allergies & Sinus still bad with non stop daily headaches, with migraine sometimes.

-Fibromyralgia flare. Pain feels like I feel down badement cement stairs or  when I had major surgery on day 3 with 5 days hospital stay. I'm in too much pain to eat. Exhaustion worst than Covid & Pneumonia! 

-Asthma bad. I have to rest for 1 minute every 10-15 meters I walk. Going to the loo takes 5 breaks.

- Urinary incontinence dissability related not happy about so many breaks to get TO the loo. I need buy more trousers! (I used 3 in one day twice this week)

- I'm in so much exhaustion & pain I can't even face watching TV. Strong painkillers increased. I'm not happy. I was hoping to decrease them this week! 

Mon 01.05.23 

-Migraine. 

-Sinus inflamed for past 4 weeks. Related to but not only cause of migraine. I'm a migraine sufferer.

-Fibromyalgia medium flare. Hands hurt as well as eveywere else. A plate is heavy to lift. I can't stab potatoes to zap them in microwave by myself. 

-Hayfever slightly improving.

-If I didn't have a carer coming to help me with a wash, I don't know how I would cope.She helped more today. She's so nice. People don't appreciate them enough.

-Concerned how I'll make hospital appointment of Thursday. And got builders in tomorrow. 

Tuesday 02.05.23

-Migraine at night. 

-All body pain bad. Been worst before though. 

-Builders poped in to say they'll be back tomorrow. And no neither owner nor estate agents told them about all the work needing doing. 

- This is in fact my comparativly, the "best day" to date. I can't sit in a chair re pain. And I have a high pain threshold. Had major surgery and got up by myself the next day when everyone else did on the 3rd day with help. Nurses said it was shocking to see me trot - carefully -  about.

- Hospital appointment of tomorrow changed for latter on. It's not a vital one. 

-District Nurse popped in to assess if I need to worry re swealing in legs. I'll have to go to the specialist clinic after all. 

-Blood Pressure still high & Pulse going nuts. Say hi to all types of allergies as a possible cause! I take the strongest anti histamin, plus 6 over the counter allergy tablets daily. Yep, the specialist doctors advised that. It stop skin for literally falling off and other horror stories! 

Wed 03.05.23 

-Vomited blood all night (5hrs of hurling on off) from ulcer, blood clots included! Yuck! 3rd time in 1 month.

-Day Migraine following as haven't been able to drink much 

-Im past normal exhausted as part of Fibromyalgia. It feels like I did a 14hr shift and haven't slep the next 2 nights. (Yes, I've done that in the past. Joy of nursing & midwifery whilst having dissabilities)

- Spoke to GP, meds increased. I don't want another endoscopy. Don't see what else it will tell us. It's costly to the NHS, I'm going to be in so much pain for at least 2 weeks after due to dissability, not the test. Urinary incontinence will be a pain. I'm not even for resuscitation (DNR) anyways. 

-Not hungry. Disordered eating means it will kick in if I can't eat at all today. Gods even cake don't sound appealing!

- Builders back. Same thing, back tomorrow instead. But now they got the list of job. 

-District Nurse decided I need compression stockings! My severe eczema might not like the extra heat in summer! & Scratchy material.

-Migraine afternoon - nightime.

-Did eat eventually. Yea me! 

Thursday 04.05.23

-Food helped with migraine & dissorted eating. 

- Pain and extreme exhaustion same. I can't hold a plate of food.

- Severe anxiety started in afternoon after flat owner demanding I get the garden clean that night. Message was passed to me by builder at around 4.40pm. to be done by tomorrow morning. Oh yea, I'm dissabled with poor balance, walks some 15-20 meter with 2 stick, uses wheelchair otherwise. And it would get dark even if I miraculously find someone for, ... work that's not urgent! And oh yes, there's no place to eat at the kitchen table due to building work. Like that's not a priority after builders leave rather than garden. Also. Thunder and rain so bad, I though thunder had struck nearby. 

-Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) few times last night (originates from past child abuse) but attacks due to the way the flat owner and estates agent treats me.

Friday 05.05.23

-Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) exacerbated since around 2am started with the stress.

- Headaches back

- Severe anxiety rising progressively

- C-PTSD flash back early morning. Good thing I know how to manage it.

- I ate with carer, yea! Well she made me eat. 

Saturday 06.05.23

-Anxiety still high

-C-PTSD same high during day, not typical of abuse. Definitely flat owner & Estates Agent related.

Sunday 07.05.23

- Actively managing the mental health side of things. 

- Bad Heaches day time 

- Friend brought me yummy KFC. Could only eat a tiny bit. Oh great, that's Dissordered Eating not happy with all the stress!

- Migrainy headach lasted 2-3 hrs. Resolved with management.

-Asthma attack in evening for over 2hrs. Was so rough couldn't do lung capacity measurement until finally calmed down. 

- I won't be able to finish my KFC now. I'm pissed off. I'm so tired of juggling several deseases. It wouldn't be so bad of people acted like human being. 

So. Do you still think I'm leisurely lying around having a relaxing time as a dissabled person?

Did you realise that it takes managing one thing after another everyday? 

So everyone can do better of they "really wanted"? I really wanted to not loose my mortgage and dog. It's my dog I missed the most, not even one of my things. From a Midwife I became homeless. From working 16hrs or work followed by Union Rep work (IE talking to staff, not official meetings before you quote the law) I'm now not able to eat independently at times, or wash alone now. I'm still acting?  Have a good, lazy life? You want to swap? 

[trashforhockeyguys]

Need The Sun -1- Tyler Seguin

A/N: It’s important for me to say that I do talk about the effects of a thyroid disorder or at least the effects that it has on me. Everyone is different, but the same side effects can be felt from other things as well.  Also, this is another series no one asked for, but you’re getting anyway.

Need The Sun to Break- James Bay

He was supposed to be coming home in a few hours. They’d had an early game to close out a road trip and had gotten on the plane right after. He’d called you just before take-off and promised to be home for dinner.

You knew you needed to get up, shower, and try to cook something. He always loved a home cooked meal after a long roadie. But you couldn’t get your body to work with you. You hadn’t had the energy to move nearly all week. You’d get up for food but would have to sit back down again by the time you reached the kitchen.

But you didn’t want to let him see you like this, you couldn’t let him see you like this. He’d worry. He always worried when you got into one of these. Your levels were off again, you knew that your doctors knew that. But it’d been so hard to get everything corrected. It took months to get it right the last time.

You took a deep breath and hauled yourself out of bed, determined to at least try and cook. But you were exhausted before you even hit the kitchen this time. Instead, you made your way to the couch, with a plan to sit for a few minutes and then push through it. You could drink a few cups of coffee and he wouldn’t know the difference when he came home.

But as soon as you sat down on the couch, you laid down, and next thing you knew you were asleep. You hadn’t meant to fall asleep again, you didn’t want to. But sleeping was just about the only thing your body could do. No matter how hard you fought it, you always ended up in the same place.

You’d been to the doctor again this week, but you had to wait for your bloodwork to come back before anything could be done. It seemed to be a routine, you’d have to adjust your meds at least once a year, six months of feeling amazing, and six of feeling awful.

You’d been dealing with this since your late teens though, it was nothing new. But in the last month or so it’d gotten so much worse. But you hadn’t told him, he’d been gone so much that it had been pretty easy to hide. You could muster up the energy you needed when he was home, and then crash when he left for practice or a game.

The other girls knew you were struggling, but they’d promised not to say anything to anyone. You didn’t need the whole team worrying about you. You’d been through that before, you didn’t need it again.

You didn’t know how long you’d been asleep when you felt the couch dip and a hand on your shoulder. You leaned into him without even realizing. He was smiling down at you when you finally opened your eyes. But even with the smile, you could see the worry hiding on his face.

“Hey, you’re home,” you whispered, trying to push yourself into a sitting position.

“I missed you,” He said softly, “Are you feeling okay?”

You nodded slowly, “Just time to fix my levels again, but I’m okay.”

“Baby-”

“I went yesterday,” You assured him, “Just waiting for everything to come back so we can figure out what to do.”

“Have you eaten today?” He asked.

You nodded, but you weren’t going to tell him that you’d only eaten some toast at breakfast. In addition to having no energy, your stomach had been really upset, which wasn’t unusual for you. But telling him any of that would just add to his worry, and you knew that.

“C’mon then,” He gently tugged on your arms to get you to stand, “It’s late, let’s get you back in bed.”

“But Ty-”

“I just want to get into bed with my wife, Y/N,” he sighed, “It’s been a long few weeks.”

He cracked a smile, “And I refuse to cuddle with Jamie.”

You leaned up to kiss him. Part of you felt bad, you’d meant for tonight to go a different way. You didn’t want to be asleep when he came home, you wanted to have a nice dinner on the table, maybe some wine.

Instead, though, Tyler slowly lead you towards your bedroom, the bed was messy and unmade, the covers still were thrown over the side from where you’d gotten up earlier. Luckily though, you’d been able to pick up the room itself yesterday, so it wasn’t a mess anymore.

He kissed the top of your head before gently pushing you to sit on the bed. You watched as he grabbed his suitcase, which he’d apparently dropped in here before waking you up. You pulled your knees up to your chest and waited.

The bed had been cold without him, even the dogs refused to sleep in the bed with you. It didn’t seem to matter how many blankets you used either, because you’d still be cold. You always seemed to be cold when he left, but this time was worse.

He grinned as he pulled out one of his sweatshirts and tossed it over to you. After two years of marriage, and a few years together before that, he’d figured out everything about you. You quickly pulled it over your head and took in the scent.

“Talk to me,” He whispered as you laid in bed together, “What’s going on?”

“I’m scared,” You admitted, “It’s never been this bad before. Even before I was diagnosed. I’m scared something else is going on.”

He pulled you close, tucking you into his chest, “It’ll be okay. We’ve been through worse together. You don’t need to panic until your lab work comes back.”

Neither one of you would understand just how much you’d panic though. But he kept assuring you that everything would be okay. That more than likely you just needed to change the dosage you were on, which was normally the problem. He held you all night as you told him everything, from what the dogs did while you were gone, to how many times you wished you could’ve gotten on a flight to be with him.

The next day, when you were feeling better, partially after a good night’s sleep, and partially because he was home, he showed you just how much he missed you, again and again. Neither one of you wanted to stop for anything. The hours were spent tangled up together, reacquainting yourselves with each other.

You realized that day that you’d never leave that bed if you could help it, so long as he was with you, you’d never go anywhere. You just wanted to be with him, as cheesy and cliché as that was. He was your rock, your home, the person who’d hold you and get you through anything.

Even with the disease that you’d had since your late teens, he hadn’t turned his back on you. He’d held you for hours after you’d finally gotten a diagnosis. Held you as you cried tears of joy and relief because you finally had answers, but also tears brought on by the sheer terror. Your body had betrayed itself, and that was the worst part of it all.

He’d been there during the process of getting your medications right, which was long and at times painful. He’d endured every mood swing, every lash out, and every breakdown. He’d taken care of you when you didn’t have the energy to even move, and gone on adventures with you when you’d had too much energy.

The proposal didn’t go as any of you had expected, you’d caught wind from the other guys that he was planning a nice date, something that you’d dreamed of. You’d been so excited, but when it came to it, you’d gotten into another episode where you could hardly move, you forced yourself to go to work but by the time you came home, you had nothing left.

So instead, he came over and crawled in bed and watched movies with you. Both of you ate pizza, even though it wasn’t a part of his diet. He spent hours trying to work out the knots in your shoulders, even though you tried to tell him he didn’t have to.

But when it came down to it, you knew he wouldn’t ask, so you made him. You pestered him until he finally got up and pulled the ring box out of his gym bag. He stated that this wasn’t how he wanted that night to go, and told you his grand plan for the proposal. You cried the whole time because truthfully marrying him was all you ever wanted. You didn’t see a future without him.

You couldn’t imagine your life in ten years without seeing him and maybe some kids, during the offseason on a boat, or the kids, proudly wearing his jersey, banging on the glass to get his attention during warmups. You couldn’t see a life without hockey, and the second family you gained from it. You didn’t have to think before you said yes.

When the two of you finally tied the knot a little over a year later, there wasn’t a shred of doubt in your mind, he was your forever. He was it for you, there wouldn’t be another person that would compare to him. You would never be able to love another man the way you loved him.

He held you in the kitchen before your next appointment, any other day he would’ve gone with you, but he had a practice that he couldn’t get out of and not for lack of trying. So, instead, he held you and continued to assure you that nothing would change between the two of you. You were going to be fine, and the two of you would go out for a nice dinner tonight and everything would be as it should.

“Nothing and I mean nothing Y/N, is going to change this,” he promised, “No stupid hormones, or lack thereof, okay?”

“You know there’s more to this,” You scolded, “There’s a lot-”

“A lot more than just hormones, yes baby I know,” he said softly, “But it’s going to be okay. Whatever it is, we’ll get through it, we always have.”

“I wish you could come with me, I might need a hand to hold,” You almost whimpered.

“I’ll be right here when you get back.”

You knew he meant it. He’d get out of practice not long before you’d get home. You knew he’d be waiting on the couch for you, probably with wine and ice cream. He’d probably have your favorite show pulled up and waiting for you, just like he always did.

The only thing that gave you the courage to walk into the doctor’s office was the promise that nothing would change, and you’d get through it together. You reminded yourself of it time and time again as you waited and twisted your wedding band around your finger.

Your appointment went almost as you’d expected. Your doctor talked you through how much your levels had changed, and what that meant as far as your new dosage, but what you didn’t expect was the question that came at the very end. The simple, almost innocent question that would completely rock your world. Nothing would be the same after that appointment, no matter what Tyler said. You wouldn’t be able to carry on as you always had. Not now.

“Are aware that you’re pregnant?”

[marvelous-writer]

#100 on fic prompts?

100. “You can only suffer through my whining for so long until you get up and make me a sandwich.”

Tony still didn’t know how he got here, stuck on the couch with his feet propped up on the long chaise, two pillows underneath his leg that was wrapped up in an obnoxious red and yellow cast, colors that were chosen by his five year old daughter.

He always use to get injured whenever he was in the suit but ever since he retired from being Iron Man and settled into this provincial life he’s made for himself… it’s been pretty dull and painfully uneventful.

That is until he tripped over his own two feet and fell down a flight of stairs in his own home.

Thankfully, Happy had been there yesterday afternoon when it happened and Pepper was out with Morgan shopping. The last thing he’d ever want is for his daughter to be traumatized from the sight of her old man being peeled off from the floor by Happy with a horrifyingly not normal shape to his right leg.

A trip to the ER and multiple x-rays and scans later discovered that it was a clean break, not bad but definitely not good. The doctor estimated the recovery time to be six to eight weeks and it was an absolute miracle he didn’t need surgery, which he was immensely thankful for.

He just wasn’t feeling so thankful now, however, and being trapped on the couch certainly wasn’t helping him.

“I seriously feel like I’m going insane.” Tony said, staring blankly at the TV on the wall as it played yet another episode of MythBusters.

He heard a sigh beside him, causing him to tilt his head, taking in Peter’s slightly amused expression as he watched the show.

“What am I going to do for six weeks? I have projects that I need to get to in the lab and I was supposed to bring Morgan horseback riding next Friday.” Tony complained, earning another sigh from the kid.

“And I already told you that I’m fine with going with her and Pepper. And if you’re talking about building Morgan that electric sled for the winter, Pepper already said no, like twice.”

“Yeah, but I know you’d get a kick out of using it.” Tony threw him a grin.

Peter smiled and shook his head, choosing not to answer to that, which was a complete dead giveaway. Tony could only imagine the fun the two of them would have on those things when the winter came, zipping around the yard on their electric sleds, sliding down those steep hills amongst their thirty acres of property.

Was he trying to bribe the kid into letting him get off the couch? Yes. Yes indeed because Tony was surely to lose his mind before the end of the day.

Pepper had to go to work, Happy bringing her, and Rhodey was away on an Avengers mission, and Pepper had brought Morgan to work with her so he wouldn’t have to worry about taking care of anyone but himself, plus he wasn’t exactly in the condition to. So, that was how Peter showed up a few hours earlier right before Pepper left, given strict instructions of keeping Tony off his leg and not letting him do anything stupid.

So basically he was on house arrest.

Tony let out an annoyed sigh and crossed his arms over his chest, focusing back on the TV.

“You’re pouting.” Peter pointed out.

“Am not.”

“Yes you are.”

Tony half-heartedly glared over at him before dropping his arms at his sides, letting his head fall back against the pillows he was propped up against. Of all the forms of torture he’s been through, being trapped on the couch seemed like the worst of them all right now. He always needed to move around and work, whether it be tinker in the garage, fix something around the house, or even whip up something relatively edible in the kitchen.

“Yeah, well just be grateful that you have that super fast healing ability of yours. A break like this would be healed in at least three or four days for you. I don’t suppose you could share any of it with your old man?” Tony asked, rolling his head to the side towards Peter, who just smirked at his comment.

“I would if I could.” He said. “And it actually took me two days the last time.” He smirked.

Tony closed his eyes, trying to get the memory of Peter in the medbay after a particularly bad patroll that had gone south when he ran out of web fluid mid swing. “Yeah don’t remind me. I still get nightmares about that.”

“Sorry.” Peter softly said, sounding guilty.

The room went silent for a few minutes, except for the TV. Rain was lightly tapping against the windows outside, giving the atmosphere a slightly relaxed vibe despite his anxiety clawing away at his chest.

“Gerald should probably be in with it raining…” Tony said as he began to push himself up, only for a firm hand to gently push him back to the couch.

“I’ll go bring him in if he’s not. Just stay here and don’t move.” Peter said as he stood up from the couch, already making his way over to the front door, picking his jacket up from the rack and slipping his sneakers on.

“But-”

“Nope! No buts. I’ll be back in a second.” Peter told him as he opened the door, turning around with a finger pointed at him. “Stay.”

Tony’s face scrunched up in displeasure at that. “Did you really just tell me to stay? I’m not a dog, kid.”

Peter rolled his eyes with a smile before he stepped out on the front porch and closed the door behind himself, leaving Tony alone in the living room.

He blew out a breath through his mouth, folding his arms over his chest as he sat there. It wasn’t even a few moments later when the front door opened again and Peter walked in, his jacket completely soaked.

“He was already in there so I closed the door a bit.” Peter told him as he toed his shoes off as he peeled his jacket off, hanging it back up on the coat rack.

“Thanks.”

Peter hummed in response as he made his way back over and settled on the couch beside him, tucking against Tony’s side without any warning, earning a soft chuckle from him. He wrapped an arm around the kid’s shoulders, his lips pulling into a small smile as he breathed in the kid’s vanilla shampoo scented hair.

“Do you need anything?” Peter asked after a few moments of peaceful silence passed by as they listened to the rain.

“I need off of this couch, like yesterday.”

Peter breathed out a laugh into his shoulder.

“I’m not kidding. I need to get up and move around. I’ll even use the crutches, just like the doctor told me to.”

“Pepper gave me strict instructions to make sure you stayed off your feet, the only exception being the bathroom.”

“You practically carried me to the bathroom the last time I asked.”

“Just following orders.” Peter mumbled into his side and Tony could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

“Yeah, sure you were. Sure.” Tony grumbled, running a hand through the teen’s curls.

They stayed like that for some time after that, switching from the Discovery Channel to Hallmark, where one of the new June Weddings movies was playing. It was no secret that Peter enjoyed watching Hallmark movies because May and him always seemed to watch the movie marathons around Christmas time, as well as Thanksgiving. And May’s obsession had bled over to Pepper becoming obsessed when the two had their weekly phone calls. Ever since, they’ve had the Hallmark channel favorited on their television network, alongside Tony’s subscription of American Heroes.

“Why can’t she see that this guy’s a complete dick?” Tony asked, raising a hand towards the TV. “Just look at him. Why take a lady out on a date if you can’t take a minute to stop looking at your phone?”

“Seriously.” Peter agreed next to him, still leaning against him.

They were about a quarter into the movie when Tony glanced at the clock on the wall, seeing that it was well past noon time.

“You hungry? When was the last time you ate?” Tony asked, tilting his head down to look at the kid.

“Uh, since Happy picked me up from the apartment this morning I guess? But yeah, I could eat. What do you want?”

“I’m thinkingsandwiches.” Tony said as he began to sit up more so he could swing his casted leg over the side of the couch, feeling the limb pulsate with a dull ache, despite him being on some hefty pain meds.

Peter put a hand on his shoulder and stopped him. “Nuhuh. Sit down. I’ll go make it.”

“Kid. I really don’t need you doing everything for me. I’ve broken a lot more bones before, some that were a lot worse than this. And this... is nothing.” Tony gestured to his casted leg. “C’mon just let me up.” He said as he tried to take the kid’s hand off but he wouldn’t budge.

He looked over at him, lip pulled to the side with an eyebrow raised, only to find Peter with a determined expression on his face, starting at him in a silent warning, which was a bit uncharacteristic of the kid. Was this him being overprotective or something? Was a sixteen year old seriously mother henning him right now?

Tony stared at him for a few more moments before giving in, letting out a defeated sigh, slumping back against the couch. “You can only suffer through my whining for so long until you get up and make me a sandwich.” He said, meeting the kid’s eyes once again.

Peter smiled and stood up from the couch, helping him by lifting his good leg back onto the chaise, as well as adjusting the pillows his broken leg was elevated on.

“Turkey and cheese?” Peter called over his shoulder as he walked towards the kitchen to the refrigerator.

“Smoked ham, too please.” Tony begrudgingly answered from his spot on the couch.

When Peter came back in the living room with the sandwiches and their beverages, he handed Tony his plate before resuming his spot curled up beside him, digging into one of his two sandwiches. Tony smiled to himself as he stole a few glances over at the kid throughout the remainder of the movie. While he wouldn’t admit it to anyone, maybe being confined to the couch wasn’t such a bad thing, especially if it meant he got to spend some quality one-on-one time with his kid.