#workshops were fun though
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playing casual solo without my friends for the first time for 6 hours straight has taught me that spy mains are some of the most devious people on the planet
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 spy#tf2 pyro#tf2 sniper#silly post btw i have nothing against spy mains lol#just the 10k hour sweaty spy mains that are toxic as shit#unfortunate type of player i encountered a couple of times#also these r my actual sniper and pyro loadouts#pyro is rlly fun in casual !!! i love the scorch shot#i heard people get rlly mad when you use it#but i havent recieved any toxcicity towards myself or others for it yet#unfrtunately played more rounds with toxic people than w non toxic people#but the chill rounds i did play were super duper fun!#found a guy in zombie infection who had an absolutely spot on muscle man impression it was super funny#everyones doing their contracts right now also#which i assume is making a lot of people a bit more lax#fun fact for reading the tags this far#back when freaky fair was still in testing#me and my friend found like an insane game breaking glitch#where you could literally just turn invisible#i uploaded a bunch of clips of us doing the glitch on bots to youtube#and commented on the workshop page to let the devs know#to this day i dont know if they fixed it#im hoping they did though because some of the new maps r still broken#zombie infection has a glitch where the zombie sniper ability literally covers your entire screen in a missing texture#everyone in the lobby died to that at least once loll#everyone in text chat was complaining#anyways sorry thats enough yapping for now#gonna take a nap probably gn :D
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i KNEW sonic prime was wrong about sonic (and everyone else) living in green hill btw. at this point im taking "sonic prime is set in the game universe" as "all sonic media is equally canon and set in the same multiverse but theyre different dimensions so the games and sonic prime are still separate" until proven otherwise. they kind of seemed to be hinting towards this idea at the end anyway
#idk if sonic not having a home was ever outright confirmed before this but it just felt Correct.#and there wasnt any reason to believe he lived in green hill anyway#and big lives in mystic ruins and knuckles lives on angel island#and i think amy has been shown to live in two different places but they were both apartments in the city not green hill#and tails has had a couple different houses and workshops so him having a workshop in green hill wasnt Too unbelievable actually#(i think tailstube just confirmed that the one from sonic adventure is his main one though)#and i dont think we've ever been given any hints to where shadow and rouge live#but just like sonic there was no reason to believe its green hill#personally i think they share a shitty apartment with omega somewhere but i dont think theres any reason to belive that either#just a fun little headcanon
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Weird Al beach boys song best ever shitting My pants and decomposing
#talkingcore#I hit weird Al in my album adventure and this song is slaughtering me I am so happy#like it’s not just a beach boys parody that milks off of the surfer aesthetic no!!!!#it’s like Everything Pet sounds + smile era and like AHHHHHH there’s a part which is like wind chimes and not the smiley smile wind chimes#since that one is kinda Mwamp:/ no!! the smile version!!! and it sounds especially similar to the Brian Wilson version released in 2004#which like given this came out in 2006 100% influenced it to some capacity like it’s not just the melody but the layering of the vocals#it’s the instruments the mixing UGH it’s faithful in the most majestic way possible#idk the fact you can stick a harpsichord in there and immediately the little monkey in my brain is like 🤨 Brian Wilson? ACKCJCHH#time for my bi-annual rewatch of Brian Wilson’s SMiLE in concert#which like I think is hands down one of the best live performances like smile is fucking complex the variety of instruments is bonkers#like the whole workshop bit has them just turning on drills and shit! not even addressing the orchestration!!#so being able to recreate that at a near perfect level LIVE? like No Cuts???? absolutely wild it’s life changing#fun fact! it was watching that concert on youtube (it’s on youtube!) that made my beach boys brain spiral#like before august of 2021? normal. consumed music rather averagely. post august 2021? insane like the fact that in less than 4 months#I managed to skew my stats so much like at least 60% of 2021 became The Beach Boys#that’s not even addressing 2022 which got the most hit cause that’s 12 months! I think there’s maybe >10 songs out of the 100 that aren’t#the beach boys or okay at least beach boys related like I’m gonna count brian And Carl and dennis’ solo material in there too#especially given their overlap in production like Hell! how many songs were meant for Brian solo projects and were given to The Beach Boys?#Caroline no is credited just with Brian when it was released as a single even though she’s on pet sounds!!! AHGGGHH need to calm down
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Ruin Me, Big Boy ;)
This is smut. MINORS DNI.
This fic was a request from @piratejoongie ! Thank you for the ask it very much inspired me ;)
Summary: You hook up with Mingi off Tinder one night.
Pairing: Mingi x reader
Includes: "good girl", "cocksucker", cock sucking, unprotected vaginal sex (USE CONDOMS PLEASE), tinder hookup but I've never done a tinder hookup so idk how they work irl but this is how I imagine it, PLEASEEEEE be safe with Tinder hookups though guys, Horny gay Wooyoung, Bestie Felix and Changbin, very background Chanlix
Word count: 1.4k
Taglist: @weirdowithaphone @caught-in-the-afterglow @palindrome969 @skzstan12345 @katsukis1wife @hyunjinsjeans @somethingkindazainy @silverstarburst
Network: @mirohs-aurora-society
Reblogs, likes, comments all appreciated!!
Masterlist
-----
“No.” You swiped left. “No.” Again. “No.” Again.
“God, when does this game get good?” Felix took a swig from his beer, leaning over the arm of the couch.
“Yeah, I like playing tinder as much as the next guy, but come onnnnn, these men are lame as hell.” Wooyoung rolled his eyes.
“Literally get interesting.” Changbin closed his eyes as he nodded in agreement.
As if on cue, Mingi (25) popped up on the TV your phone was cast to, all dark hair and sharp jawline… and that smirk!
Your own jaw dropped. “Guys, I think I just fell in love.”
“I think I just got hard!” Wooyoung yelled. “Jesus Christ, look at that man!”
“He’s mine!” You yelled back. “My tinder, my man! Claimed!”
“Fuck!” Wooyoung collapsed back against the couch as you swiped right.
The room erupted in screeches as hearts filled the screen, indicating you’d matched.
“Message him, message him!” The voice was so high with excitement it wasn’t immediately recognizable as that of any of your friends, but you hit the ‘message’ button and stared at the text bubble for a second.
“What do I even say to someone that fucking hot?”
“Here. Gimme.” Wooyoung wiggled his fingers, and you handed over your phone. Your eyes widened as you watched him type on the screen. “There.”
You: Ruin me, big boy ;)
“God.” You laughed. “You’re gonna scare him off.”
“No, I’m not, we workshopped your profile forever. You look hot as hell. You’re gonna be thanking me.” You watched as he swiped into Mingi’s profile. “See, he’s looking for short-term fun.”
“Short-term fun.” Felix hummed. “I know that means hookups, but I kinda hope he sticks around. Just because he’s nice to look at.”
“He hasn’t even—” You started, but Wooyoung cut you off with a squeal.
“He responded!”
“Give me my phone!” You snatched it from his hand.
Mingi: I can do that, baby ;)
Your stomach leapt.
“Get his location right fucking now.” Wooyoung ordered.
You began typing something out.
You: Time and place and I’ll be there
Changbin giggled. “Y/n’s getting some!”
“Hell yeah, y/n’s getting some!” You took a sip of your cocktail as you went back to his pictures. “How do people even look like this? He’s so hot.”
Mingi: An hour and a half work? Here’s the address.
You looked up the address as soon as he sent it. It was a nice apartment building downtown. Felix’s boyfriend Chan actually lived there.
“I’ll tell Chan you’ll be over there in an hour and a half.” Felix had a twinkle in his eye as he whipped out his phone. “If Mingi’s a dick, or a creep, you can go to his place.”
You nodded. “Sounds good.”
You: I’ll see you in an hour and a half <3
You went upstairs to get ready, showering quickly and changing into a matching underwear set and a cute but casual outfit.
Wooyoung clapped as you walked down the stairs. “Beautiful, y/n. Tell me how he is. And if he’s into men. And if he might possibly be into me.”
“He’s hooking up with her, Woo. Not you.” Changbin said bluntly.
“Maybe he’s bi!”
Felix ignored them, smiling at you. “Have fun and be safe, y/n, make sure your location’s on.”
You checked your phone to make sure you were sharing your location with Felix. “All set! Bye!”
You made your way downtown, parking and walking the rest of the way. You texted him when you got to the lobby and leaned against a pillar.
You almost weren’t expecting Mingi to be real, but he walked out of the elevator with the gait and confidence of a supermodel. He was dressed in all black, he was tall, and in person that smirk had the cockiness of someone who could back it up, no matter what was required to do that.
Your pussy throbbed as he looked at you, his smirk growing.
“Y/n…” He crossed the lobby, eyes looking you up and down. “You look even better than your pictures.”
“You’re pretty fucking hot yourself.” You managed to get out.
He laughed softly. “Oh, am I? A pretty girl like you telling me that is gonna inflate my ego.”
“Lucky for you, I like a man with a god complex.”
“God complex, huh? I think that can be arranged.”
“Oh, can it?” You raised your eyebrows.
“You’re gonna be worshipping me.” He winked.
“I’d love to worship you.” You whispered back.
“Then come upstairs.”
—
As soon as you made it into his apartment, Mingi pushed you against the wall, trapping you in with one hand and kissing you hard. His lips were demanding, and his tongue licked into your mouth. You moaned, your head already growing dizzy from the kiss.
“Good girl.” He hummed.
“Mingi…” You whined.
He pulled away. “What do you want to do tonight?”
You thought for a second. “I wanna suck your cock.”
He leaned in by your ear. “Can I call you a good little cocksucker?”
It felt like he’d lit you on fire. “Yes, please call me your good little cocksucker.”
“Then on your knees.”
You sank to the floor, unzipping his pants.
He pushed them and his boxers down, and his cock sprang free, already red and hard and big.
You reached around it, pumping the shaft a few times. “Fuck.” You whispered. You could barely wait to get it inside you.
“What, I thought you wanted to worship me.” He smirked.
In response to that, you opened your jaw and pushed yourself down on his cock.
He groaned, his hand finding your hair and balling into a fist. “Fuck, such a good cocksucker. So good for me.”
You focused on the feeling of him in your mouth, the heat of his skin. He was easily the biggest guy you’d been with, but you didn’t let that intimidate you, pushing yourself further and further down on his cock.
His grip on your hair tightened, and he gently began to rock his hips back and forth, gently fucking your face. “Good girl. Good fucking girl. Taking me so well, sucking my cock like you were made for it.”
You moaned around him, fighting to keep your jaw relaxed.
His hips picked up the pace, quickly but gently fucking into your mouth. “Good girl, good girl, good— ngh!” He pulled out of your mouth to cum on your face, groaning as he stroked himself. As cum painted your features, you thought you’d never seen someone so hot.
“You want me to fuck you now? Properly, not your mouth.” He panted.
“Yes.” You moaned. “Yes, Mingi, please.”
“Okay, my good girl. Lets’ go to my bedroom.”
You got up, following him into the bedroom. It was tidy, with grey sheets on the bed and an attached bathroom.
“Clothes off, and on the bed.” Mingi ordered. You hurried to obey, spreading yourself out on the bed for him.
“Fuck.” He said as he took off his own pants, his eyes raking over your form.
“Fuck me.” You whimpered.
“Don’t worry, my good girl, I will.” He left his shirt on as he crawled over you on the bed. “I’ll fuck you within an inch of your life, if you’ll let me.”
“Please, Mingi, please fuck me within an inch of my life.”
“Fuck, begging?” He kissed you, hard. “You’re so fucking hot, y/n.”
He lined himself up with your entrance and began to push inside. You moaned as his tip stretched you.
“Perfect little— ngh, fuck.” Mingi pushed in further, his voice growing strained.
You couldn’t say anything your mouth forming a little ‘o’ as you burned in pleasure.
He seated himself fully inside you, and you stayed like that for a moment, with Mingi deep inside you, connected.
And then he started moving, and you thought you might cum on the spot. He was big, but he felt even bigger inside you, especially as he started fucking you in earnest, pushing in and out with a fervor.
You moaned, clutching at the sheets. “Fuck, fuck, Mingi, ah, God…”
“Feel so good, my good girl, so tight around me, such a good little hole for me.” He grunted. “We gotta do this again, because God I love fucking you.” He caressed your cheek. “Takin’ my cock so well.”
“Yeah, anytime you want.” You breathed, meaning it.
“Anytime I want, huh?” He pushed into you in a hard thrust. “I’m gonna take you up on that, my good girl.”
“Please do.” You whined. “Your good girl.”
“I’m gonna ruin you for anyone else.” He whispered. “Ruin me, big boy, that’s what you said, right? I’m gonna fucking ruin you.”
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OP Men as Dads Part 3
Note: Part 3, Part 3!! I was asked by someone on AO3 to add Luffy, so I did that! I still view Luffy more as a brother or son, so I still don't expect to write anything romantic for him, but this I can do! I hope you all enjoy!
Franky probably didn’t even think he’d ever get the chance to have kids, not after the train accident you know, but he’s excited for it! You’d have two boys around three to four years apart that are just like Franky in every way, but the older would be a bit more shy than the younger. They’ll both spend a lot of time with Franky in his workshop when they get old enough, they’ve got a knack for shipwright work and it almost brings a tear to Franky’s eye to see them sketching their own ship designs on whatever scraps of paper they can find. Your boys love you too of course! The two will bring their drawings to show you and ask your opinion, you have to tell them everything on your mind or they won’t go back to drawing, mama’s thoughts matter! It becomes family time to go over the sketches your boys made during the day, they want to do you and Franky proud in everything, but nothing they do could ever make you love them less.
~~
Katakuri has planned to have kids for a while, even though he’s already 48, he still wants to have a few and be a father to them. He’ll raise them differently from how he was raised, but still love them dearly and want only the best for them! You’ll both be surprised when you only have one first, a little girl who has Katakuri wrapped around her finger as soon as she’s born and handed to him. She’s so tiny, he’d be content to have just her if she’s all you were blessed with. Fast forward five years and there’s a set of wailing triplets that you also didn’t expect to have, but the three boys are more than you ever could’ve asked for and their big sister loves them just as quickly. She begs to see them as soon as their born, Katakuri brings her by that day to see you and them, and she has to gold all three in a row immediately. After that, a set of twin girls comes along a few years later, your oldest isn’t the only girl anymore and she’s still just as happy to have new siblings at around ten-years-old, your five-year-old set of triplets also excited. Katakuri loves and thanks you so much for the family you’ve made with him, even if you tell him your twin girls are it, you’re done. He's happy with what you have, grateful for your love and children.
~~
Killer is absolutely a great dad, you couldn’t have asked for anyone better to be your partner and father to your children. You have a boy first off, with your eyes and blond hair, he wants to be just like his dad when he grows up! A couple years later comes a little girl, she’s a surprise but a pleasant one at that. You didn’t really expect her to have Killer wrapped around her finger in a heartbeat but the second he saw her it was over, he became wholly devoted to your little girl and making sure she was happy as could be. You’ve come back to your family multiple times seeing Killer either having a tea party with your daughter or playing some make believe game with both your children, he normally plays the damsel in distress for their enjoyment. Your kids can see people act oddly around Killer when they recognize him, but neither of them care to know why, they’re still quite young, and they only care that they’re dad loves and takes care of them alongside you. All that matters to them is that Killer is around to play with them and eventually start teaching them to protect themselves.
~~
Luffy would be the fun dad, no doubt in my mind! Like how Ace would have three daughters, I can see Luffy having three sons! Probably twins at first, then another son a couple years later, the three having the same dynamic that he had with Sabo and Ace when they were kids! They’d all look like Luffy, except your middle child would have your eyes, a small piece that shows yes, you’re the mother to these three rugrats. All three dream of being pirates, its their favorite game to plan, especially so since their dad is King of the Pirates. After all, who better to tell you how the pirate life works than him?? With all of the Straw Hats around, your sons would be protect from the moment they hear you’re pregnant, everyone being the best aunts and uncles around as soon as they’re born. Luffy would be the most protective of course, but he’d still give your sons the freedom to do what they want and to grow and learn how the world works. Being a pirate is about freedom, isn’t it? Your sons will never have to wonder if they’re loved or wanted, everything you and Luffy do is for them.
~~
I honestly see Mihawk with one child, a daughter. She’d be an unexpected blessing that has him around her tiny finger the moment she takes her first breath. He’d never let her, or you of course, out of his sight, unless he absolutely had to go to a Warlord meeting or something like that. When Zoro and Perona show up, they’re both flabbergasted that the Dracule Mihawk has a child, and that she’s a cute baby girl, only a few months old! Perona will try to dress her up in frilly dresses but your daughter will cry, which ends with Mihawk taking her back and demanding Perona stop using his daughter like a dress up doll. The funny thing is, your daughter will be absolutely enthralled with Zoro, she’ll fuss until he holds her, sometimes he’s the only one who can get her down for a nap or to sleep at night. The number of times Mihawk has caught Zoro training with your daughter strapped to his back or the two napping together warms his heart, maybe having the two freeloaders around isn’t so bad.
~~
Sabo never thought too much about having kids. It was a nice idea, but he didn’t have any strong opinions about it. Then of course, you showed up and he started to have dreamy ideas of his own family and children with you as the mother. Your first is a little girl, blonde as her dad and just as rambunctious. She’ll chase down everyone that she can’t to play with her and grab their attention for whatever story she’s made up, Sabo especially listens intently to her, giving her a smile, asking questions, and responding to everything she says positively. After your daughter comes two boys, one after the other just a couple years apart, and both times Sabo can’t believe he’s so lucky to have you and your children. Your sons look more like you, though your youngest has Sabo’s hair just like your daughter. He’s more shy than either of his siblings, but with Sabo he’s more open and talkative. Your first son may be the middle child, but he’s also the one who becomes more interested in the Revolutionary Army’s work. Although Sabo knows that all of them may become interested one day, wanting to join, he hopes that their work can be completed first and your children will be able to love safe, comfortable lives as they grow up.
#one piece x reader#reader insert#luffy x reader#monkey d luffy x reader#mihawk x reader#dracule mihawk x reader#franky x reader#cyborg franky x reader#charlotte katakuri x reader#katakuri x reader#sabo x reader#killer x reader
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@kneelbeforeclefairy no OF COURSE I don't mind this is exactly what I wanted
Christian iconography? in my Merlin??
#omg thank you for taking the time to type all this#i was on the edge of my seat lol#UTHER KILLED RELIGION#so nietzsche-core#also thanks for reminding me of that time gaius went#“oh i was but a lowly boy i could not partake in the sacred rituals. they were women-only”#like!!#MAGIC MATRIARCHY!!!#you casually drop a reference to MAGIC MATRIARCHY and expect me not to get excited!!#i agree that the 'thank god's were probably just an oversight rather than deliberate#it's fun to take them at face value though#the ikon is interesting though. like that's not something that just accidentally ends up on a set#someone chose to place it there#i wish i could talk to the set designers about gaius's workshop because i love it so much#and it's filled to the brim with details (some weird ones too. like the kinky-looking rabbit mask in ep 1?? idk)#thank you for the meta. this is so cool!!#merlin meta#magic#Religion
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uta hagen
(divorced!art donaldson x reader; tw divorce obviously; tw sporadic mentions of violent or otherwise shitty partners; that sounds intense but this is actually a fun time i swear; cw a little smut; as a treat; tw ironic intimacy; kaz write a normal romance where one or both people aren't hypercritical of the other challenge ((impossible)); tw group therapy; tw condensing of tashi duncan's character for narrative reasons but i hope you know me well enough by now to know where my heart lies; whoever came up with the art donaldson calvin klein campaign headcanon i owe you a kidney; tw exploiting therapeutic exercises for sexual tension lol; tw hamfisted closure; raymond carver easter egg for all who have the eyes to see)
Before anything happens, Art Donaldson is just another guy in the “Learning to Let the Ex Go” group therapy session you signed up for.
It occurs to you, pretty quickly, that Art Donaldson has zero intention of letting his ex go. Dr Harper has this question he asks all the newcomers.
You’re having circle time with a bunch of adults on a Friday afternoon. So that look of longsuffering on the new guy's face isn’t particularly remarkable. You note a few furtive whispers and glances his way. But then this sad little workshop is mostly comprised of weepy middleaged women. They, too, kicked up a ruckus when that silver fox with the Harley—Rick—deigned to grace the room with his impossible biceps for a single, cigarettescented session two weeks ago.
What you’re saying is you know he’s handsome.
And, anyway, you’d never hold anything against your motley crew. Agnes invited you to her neighbourhood book club. Padma brings little clingwrapped trays of desserts every other week. These are your gal pals. Your bereaved bosom buddies. You wouldn’t begrudge them their eye candy.
Dr Harper says, “So,” and claps his hands the way he starts every session, narrowing his eyes with that scarily sentimental smile and sweeping his gaze around the circle. He makes a point to make eye contact with every single person for two whole seconds, as though he knows something you don’t. Then, “As you can see, we are not as few as we once were.”
He tends to speak in that meandering sort of way. He makes a flourishing gesture with his clipboard, as if setting a stage, and says,
“If you wouldn’t mind introducing yourself, and letting us know…” He pauses for effect. He tends to do that, too. “… Why can’t you let your ex go?”
You do the guy the favour of not laving him in that expectant stare people seem to love doing here. You fiddle with your fingers and listen to the uneasy knell of his sneakers against the linoleum. The stilted whine of his little plastic foldout chair. You cast him a glance as stands. He’s sort of tall, but not imposing. His fingers fidget at his sides like he’s awaiting a time bomb.
When he speaks, he looks so upset you’d think he’s getting a root canal. “Uh, hi. I’m Art, uh… just Art.”
And, at the time, you think this is kind of strange.
The next week, when Dr Harper brings a purple tennis racket with Just Art’s face on the front to get him to sign it for his daughter—which you already think is unprofessional and a bit presumptuous, considering how few people actually return for a second session, and how fascinatingly tortured he looked all throughout the first—you will think oh. And then his whole humble kicked puppy thing will feel a little annoying. But that’s besides the point.
On that first day, while he’s standing there awkwardly, and every shriek of his shoes against the ground is making him wince like he’s sporting stab wounds, and he keeps casting very conspicuous glances at the clock, Dr Harper asks why can’t you let your ex go?
And the thing about that question is it’s mostly rhetorical. Sure, it’s supposed to make you think. But the ultimate unearthing there is of the truth that there is no real reason. And such is the first step to selfactualising change and so on and so forth. You get it.
There’s a couple answers you come to expect. The notably lachrymose will get to weeping straight away. Because I’m pathetic! you remember someone wailing, which made you feel like a bit of a sadist, just sitting there and watching. You’re pretty sure you’d said a less than kind, I don’t fucking know, on your first day, but you’ve grown since then, and you appreciate Dr Harper’s abiding effusiveness despite that.
But Just Art releases a contrite sort of exhale and says, “Because I still love her.”
Which—okay—strikes you as a bit overkill.
A tissue discreetly finds his palm, but he only rumples it into a ball.
Dr Harper nods sagely, leaning back in his seat, steepling his fingers under his chin.
“Go on,” he prompts in that gentle, needling way he does.
You don’t Google him. You don’t really need to. Dr Harper keeps intentionally-unintentionally peppering sporadic little pearls of information about him into conversation like some sort of bizarre BINGO game.
Like—for example—when he’s passing out little notepads and outlining your task of writing unflinchingly honest farewell letters to your exes, he tacks on, “—it’ll be tough, but it’s no Wimbledon, am I right, Donaldson?”
And Just Art’s ears will turn a dazzling shade of crimson.
You file these little tidings away in some less important corner of your mind, passively constructing a criminal profile.
Padma brings her son to a session, which you’re pretty sure she’s not allowed to do. Luckily, the kid doesn’t internalise any of Padma’s scathing anecdotes about his father because he’s too busy marvelling at his own freshly signed Art Donaldson racket.
There seems to be a new racket to sign every week.
You doubt people actually give this much of a shit about tennis. But—anyway—you suppose if fucking Michael Cera rocked up and joined the circle, everyone would be hauling a Superbad poster out from some dusty corner, too. Such is the nature of celebrity.
Dr Harper, for one, appreciates the effervescence. He seems to think the mere presence of a famous athlete will motivate everyone in the room to face with renewed fervour their own pathetic little romantic quagmires.
Well, it’s that, or a strange personal infatuation he houses with the guy. Probably both.
You don’t Google him. You don’t Google him, nor his conceivably equally famous exwife. You don’t need to. Dr Harper seems to think it necessary to give you all regular progress reports on that whole imbroglio.
You know there’s news—perhaps unfortunate news—by the colour of Dr Harper’s voice when he says, haltingly, “And Art… how have you been doing?”
By the severity with which Dr Harper nods as Art reads his letter. (“Tashi,” he begins, and one of those not so furtive whispers ricochets around the room, another tissue in his hand; you think it’s Agnes who’s slipping them).
By the abject enthusiasm with which Dr Harper declares what real progress Art is making. Like he’s one of those zoo animals being parallelreared with a human child, and he’s starting to glean the art of speech without being prompted.
This is all saying something, for whom you know to be an already colourful, severe, enthusiastic Dr Harper.
What you gather is a vague impression that Art’s exwife tortured him psychologically by wielding his body and tennis career as serrated edges by which to flay their marriage intricately, slowly. And then there’s something about her repeatedly sleeping with his exbestfriend? Which—big whoop. Eleanor’s boyfriend tried to kill her, which you feel is a marginally more exceptional love story.
A month in, you realise what’s really bothering you is the untruth.
Art Donaldson has zero intention of letting his ex go. He still loves her. He opened with that.
He reads his letter (that reads a lot more like a draft for vow renewals) aloud to the room. Everyone looks at him with these misty eyes like he’s just chainsawed his chest open and wrested his heart from his arteries while simultaneously reciting Sappho.
Which is to say—and you’re no doctor, but—what fucking progress?
You don’t think you’re the patron saint of therapy or anything. But you’ve paid decent money to be here, and you’ve spent more afternoons than you’d stomach admitting on guided meditation. You’re doing The Work, as they say.
You get it; you do. Losing a relationship can feel like a death. Losing yours certainly felt like the Sun had imploded. But Eleanor—you’ll mention again—could be dead. Your jaded inner voice struggles to identify with this probably deplorably wealthy Adonis who can't seem to cut the racket strings.
So you think it’s a little irresponsible to glorify the abject pining of this crestfallen man. All flaxenhaired and broadshouldered like Prince Charming lamenting bedside of Sleeping Beauty.
This is a class about severance.
Art Donaldson seems to weave himself inextricably around something. The love of his wife, sure, that’s obvious enough. But there’s something. Something. Something very sad, sure, but not sad in the way you’re all so sad around here. A different kind of sad.
You’re trying to figure it out.
So you spend some time doing that. Trying to figure him out. You expect to start to hate him the more you stare. The more you note the weird slope of his nose, his selfdeprecating laughter.
But you don’t.
In fact, you find it delightfully, uncomfortably strange. He carries himself like an interloper to despair. Not like he thinks he’s above it necessarily—you’d thought that (reproachfully) for a while—rather like sadness is one of many things stored at the other side of the city, and he keeps missing the train.
Like these brilliant sorrowers are deigning to include him in their orbit, even though he doesn’t belong. If he remains silent, maybe they won’t notice that he’s not one of them. Better yet, conceivably, he’ll actually belong one day.
That’s what it’s like. Like he’s striving for sorrow. Like he’s working with something worse than sorrow and is saying, you know what? I’d rather take the sorrow.
In the exercise you’re doing this week, you’re supposed to personage your ex and act out your final argument. Take your scene partner’s hands and look into their eyes and everything. Dr Harper makes a big deal about how he's not trying to trigger anyone's relationship trauma, but that feels like a lie. You can’t imagine a productive reason to make a bunch of lonely, divorced adults hold hands in a cruel parody of their last brush with fleshdeep connection.
And anyway, fuck this shit.
That doesn’t mean you won’t communicate circles around it. You’re doing The Work, after all.
But fuck it hard.
His hands sort of swallow yours. They are warm and calloused and a little sweaty.
You were, at first, excited by the idea of this proximity. Excited in the way a cultural anthropologist would be, at the prospect of conducting participant research. But now you’re here. Sitting at the edges of your little plastic foldout chairs. Your knees between his. And his fingers are curled pretty firmly around yours. He looks about as comfortable as a grade schooler called to the chalkboard. And you’re the one who’s been sitting around observing him from a distance and gleaning your data and passing your judgement all this time, but it is he who makes—and holds—eyecontact.
His eyes are dusky and intent—molten navy—like he’s seeing past your skin and bone. And you are less than pleased by this subversion.
So when he shifts and his knee brushes your outer thigh, a potent shock of heat resounding through the denim, and he clears his throat and mumbles, “Sorry,” you say,
“You could back up a bit.”
His expression falters. You must admit, there is something alluring in his being disappointed by your little rejection. Anyone looking at it from the outside would find the whole thing pretty ludicrous. That you could say no, that he would even ask.
Dr Harper comes up and puts his hands atop both your heads, which feels more than a little patronising. He squats to be eye level between the two of you and whispers, “Do you know why I paired you two together?”
For a moment, you almost roll your eyes. When all is said and done, and the skull speaks and the bell tolls, your primary takeaway from your time Learning to Let the Ex Go is that Dr Harper has a spectacular penchant for assigning meaning where there is absolutely none.
If he paired you with Art based on eyelash hue, would he come up with some reason for that? Probably, you think.
But what he says next manages to throw you.
“You two…” he begins, pausing for effect. Because, of course. And Art shifts his weight uncomfortably, quite literally wincing as he accidentally bumps your knee again. He glances fleetingly in your direction, ears gone florid, but you have little time to delight in this before Dr Harper stands up straight again and delivers his verdict, “… have the same problem.”
You make a face like you have just seen a lizard eat a bird.
And fucking Art, of all people, has this look in his eyes, this look that’s almost hopeful. Like some explanation is finally to be offered for what the hell is wrong with you.
And you don’t care for that shit. At all.
You bark out a laugh. “I don’t think so.”
Which is, of course, when Dr Harper’s gaze sharpens like a scalpel and locks on you, like you’ve said exactly what he predicted you would say.
Which you care for even less.
He doesn’t look smug. Not exactly. He doesn’t even look vindicated. The only way to describe that look on his face is total delight. Cat with the canary in his maw.
Art seems very committed to staring at the ground, now. Trying, perhaps, to evade something of a brewing storm. You’re tempted to reach up and flick his head for his cowardice, but his hands are—very tightly, now, you’ll note—still holding yours.
“You two are both at mercy to judgement,” Dr Harper declares, and he’s still got your head in his palm like a basketball, and all that selfregulatory yoga feels fucking useless right about now.
You shift to look up at him better. “I’m not at mercy to judgement,” you inform him as calmly as you are able, and maybe you’re disproving his point in this moment by being so affected by this analysis, but you sincerely believe that you’re generally pretty hardwearing.
Dr Harper pauses for effect. “You are at mercy to your own judgement...” Another pause. And you’re about to tell him that—nice fucking try, but—you’re actually a remarkably selfassured person who rarely, if ever, gives yourself to negative selftalk. But then, “... Of others.”
And now it occurs to you that the fucking room has gone silent. And you feel like your eyes have all but crossed in simmering anger. Because—okay—everyone here is crazy, and miserable, and a little fucking pathetic, but you’ve prided yourself on being the least crazy one here.
And fuck.
Fuck if you’re not proving his point right now.
When you open your mouth to argue—because you are going to disagree, if only for the sake of disagreeing—Art Donaldson’s fingers screw up firmer around yours, like he’s some sort of sentient lie detector, and you’re about to ask him where the fuck he gets off, but Dr Harper isn’t done.
He turns, now, to Art.
“And you…” he says. You’re getting seasick with all the pausing. “Donaldson. You’re at mercy to others’ judgements of you, my man.”
So Art, you see out of the corner of your eye, looks like he’d rather debone himself than be sitting here.
And fine.
Okay.
Let’s all agree that that much is true. That Art Donaldson lives and dies by the judgement of others, and you live and die in the name of it. Fine.
Even so, you can’t help but think that these are directly antithetical problems to have.
And, in practice, if you’re a callous shrew, and he’s an open wound, you’ll probably kill him. Or something.
But now Dr Harper’s pushing your heads together like a ref before a rugby match. And he crouches down again. And Art’s nose brushes yours, and your lash swipes his cheek, and you can smell the coffee Dr Harper was just drinking.
And he says, “Let. First serve.”
Then he stands again and pats Art’s shoulder like they’re old friends, and gives a wink to the room at large.
He saunters away. Art looks like someone is pointing a gun to his head. But really it’s just your—heartlessly selfrighteous, apparently—forehead still against his. His skin is feverwarm.
You pull away.
Of course no one takes the exercise seriously.
In its defense, you think, there’s very little that goes down in this room that can be veritably labelled a ‘serious’ event. Most of it—the guided meditations, the writing exercises, Dr Harper’s entire vibe—feels like you happened to miss some crazy event that tore reality asunder and tipped you over into a sadistically tragicomedic alternate universe.
But if you all were to sincerely sit here, knees to knees with mourning strangers, and concretise this litany of other strangers who have wounded you all irrevocably in different ways—shit—Harper’d be sitting with a fetid heap of weeping corses.
So—well.
Eleanor’s chasing Ally around the hall with a her fingers hoisting an invisible shiv yelling, I love you, I love you, you bitch. Which is certainly one way to contend with a murderous exlover, you guess.
Padma and Colin are treating this as a gossip session. You can tell because you can hear that delighted peal of laughter she emits whenever someone interjects one of her—deeply engrossing, by the way—caustic vignettes about her exhusband with a little observational jab at the guy.
Most people are laughing. Or making fun. You catch fleeting dregs of remarkably hilarious conversation from all angles and are reminded why you keep coming back here.
The only person, however, who seems to have really taken Dr Harper’s thought experiment to the harp of his heart—much to your horror—is Art Donaldson.
He sets his elbows on his knees and leans forward. You get a waft of him. Something acerbic like citrus, and maybe pine. He blinks up at you with this almost regrettable intensity. Like he’s about to tell you that he has to pull your teeth. But he’s not thrilled about it. You’re still deciding if you’re flattered by the notion. He’s looking at you like he’s trying to glean the pattern of your sinew with his eyes alone.
“I’ll be you,” he says, his voice low and soft. And there’s a hoarse quality to it, like he’s just run up a staircase.
You’re suddenly very aware of all the noise around the two of you. The laughter, the bedlam. Something faintly percussive.
His thumbs swipe over your knuckles, which you’re hoping is an absent thing.
You blink. Your face is overcast with a less than kind, more than unimpressed glower.
“You’re serious?” you deadpan.
He looks serious as the end times. His fingers twitch around yours. You feel his knuckles like piano keys against your palm.
Dr Harper has essentially told this man that you have something he doesn’t. Something he needs. And now—with a tenacity you can only imagine churns through his bones by rote—he seems determined to find it.
He’s gripping your hands like you’re the fucking racket.
He leans down further, elbows pressing into his thighs, and his face gets alarmingly close to your fingers. A whisper of heat against your nailbeds.
When his tongue dips out to swipe the chapped coral edge of his upper lip, you nearly flinch, because you think that wet will touch you. But it doesn’t.
He peers up at you intently. You see the way his throat shifts under his wan skin as he swallows.
“I’m as serious as you want me to be,” he says. He is absurdly sincere, but also something else.
Your brows twitch, and you frown, because you are now realising that, even after several weeks of careful observation, you do not have even a remote understanding of this man to speak of. You feel like an academic whose thesis has just been rejected, and now they’re back to square one of some miserable odyssey. Moreover, this is all just unutterably ridiculous, so you sigh and roll your eyes and shift in your seat, your knee knocking against his inner thigh.
“Fine,” you say, “You be me.”
Art’s face is set in what you first think is determination, but are incredibly unnerved to discover is him getting into character. He’s trying to emulate that vaguely bitter perennial scowl of yours. He looks like a bitch—which means he’s pretty fucking dead on.
You’re almost impressed.
Of course, he still looks sad. There’s a vulnerability his mimicry cannot conceal. But you think he’s finding something cathartic in wearing the hue of your passive vitriol.
You tell him to express a perfectly reasonable grievance to you—and you yourself are now rolling your shoulders and slinking into the ethos of a gaslighting asshole—like how you never wash the dishes. Like, ever.
He clears his throat.
“You never do the dishes.”
You swallow.
“Right…” you murmur.
You’re still a little facetious about this whole thing, but there is that intensity in his gaze that wrests you into the moment like a fervid point of gravity.
“Well, now I—as my ex—would probably tell you—” You roll your eyes again, but now it is at the memory you’re unsheathing. “—oh, you’re being dramatic. I was just about to do them. Why are you always on my ass?”
And Art’s nose wrinkles, like the memory is offensive to him, too.
He looks you over like a sawbones trying to determine a patient’s symptoms. Mapping out the incision.
“Then I—you—would say…” He’s speaking really slowly, too. Like he’s giving you the chance to object where you see fit, on grounds of mischaracterisation. “I would say that you always say you’re going to do all kinds of things. But you never actually do them.”
“Exactly!” you blurt, kneejerk. But then you catch yourself. Flex your fingers a bit in his. Clear your throat and put on your best impression of a total dolt again. “Okay—oh, maybe you’re too busy focusing on the little stuff I don’t do to recognise the large sacrifices I make for our relationship.”
He scoffs.
It’s your scoff. A facsimile of that incredulous ire you seem to always be evincing. It’s deeply disturbing.
“What sacrifices?” You can’t tell who’s asking.
“W—” You falter. Swallow. It takes you a moment—like you’re emerging from deep water—to answer, as your ex, “Well, I moved here, didn’t I? Packed up all my shit and left my friends, my family, fucking everything. To be with you.”
“I didn’t ask you to move.”
“You didn’t,” you confirm quickly. And you can’t tell who’s saying that, either. But you put on the voice again, and say, “You didn’t. But I still did it for you. And I don’t think you’ve ever said thank you. Or sorry.”
A beat.
Your hands go slack in his. You sigh. “You never say sorry.”
Art’s eyes search you like a probe.
Your shoulders are stonerigid and the blood is rushing like torrent through your ears because—somehow—this feels uncomfortably like a fight. Like that fight. And your body seems keen on adjusting the scoreboard accordingly.
His thumbs rub your knuckles again, in a way that feels a lot less idle this time.
“I’m still not going to say sorry,” he guesses with a marginal tentativeness, but a general certainty in his assessment.
You swallow again. “Yeah,” you rasp, “You’re not.”
It occurs to you that this exercise is a little like immolation.
He’s supposed to be acting like you. But he’s acting like you at your worst, and doing so—to his credit—a little more accurately than you’d like to admit.
It strikes you as unfair. And excoriating. And you picture yourself tackling Dr Harper to the ground and choking him out.
And then Art says, “We’ve been having this fight for…?”
“Two months,” you mumble. You’re not even doing the voice anymore.
Art clicks his teeth, a sentimental crease at the corner of his eye. “I think we should break up.”
You sigh. “Yeah, probably.”
“It’ll be really hard for me.”
A guess again, but then you’re here. Doing The Work. Holding hands and roleplaying. It’s not inconceivable that you didn’t take the breakup exceptionally.
Your lip twitches. “You’ll survive.”
He pushes off his elbows and sits up straight, his knees sidling fully around your thighs, now unashamed. He gives you a look. A different one. His mouth purses to the side in some alloy of pensive amusement, a dimple delved into his cheek. His gaze coruscates with a deep cornflower intrigue.
“I think I will, actually,” he says finally.
And he has the nerve to smile. Revoltingly soft and sympathetic.
He gives your hands a parting squeeze before dropping them in your lap, his chair scraping loud the linoleum as he backs off.
You call your ex that night.
“Hey, listen,” you say, “Sorry.”
Dr Harper’s probably somewhere creaming his pants so fervently as to have rendered himself numb in a state of gleeful stupor.
“Hey,” husks your ex—who, for his flaws, has always been more magnanimous than you—before chuckling, “No worries.” You can hear that easy smile of a life unburdened by you in his voice.
Which is fine.
“How are you?” he asks then, “You good? You surviving?”
You smile wryly. You feel like you’ve been flogged by four consecutive eighteenwheelers. “I think I will, actually.”
You Google Art Donaldson.
You’re having a drink with Eleanor and Ally and Colin and a few others from the group, and you’re basically shitting all over the whole programme in a very hush-hush sort of way because you all know what an Opportunity For Growth this has been, when Art walks into the bar and spots your table and nods at the whole gang. The mood quickly shifts. Excitement, sure, but a collective wordless agreement that the lighthearted gossip between real friends ends here. You feel bad. It’s not his fault.
Art slides into your booth with beer floats and greets Colin, who’s looking at him with a senex’s disdain because he was just telling you all how he’s thinking of getting hair plugs. Again, not Art’s fault.
Art’s in camouflage, with his baseball hat and T-shirt, which you think is unnecessary because—again—you’re still quite certain no one gives enough of a shit about tennis as to recognise him in a bar.
When he slides into the booth—into the space between you and Colin—he’s careful to leave a distance between the two of you. Which you only really notice at all because you’re acutely aware of exactly how much space occupies the expanse between the two of you at any given instance.
A bunch of people at the table are already looking at him like he’s some sort of foreign dignitary.
You don’t think athletes are necessarily charming by nature, and you refuse to give Art Donaldson that kind of credit, but he doesn’t have to try very hard to make himself agreeable to everyone.
He buys a round for the whole group. He asks after jobs, and the state of marriage, and family, and life. He seems sincere enough.
You all start chatting about the various horrific relationships that lead you here, as though they were all particularly uninteresting ham and cheese sandwiches. Colin’s exfiancée diagnosed with early onset dementia. Ally’s exgirlfriend developing a heroin habit. You’ve all jabbed and scrutinised these woes to deflated nothingness, by now. None of it hurts anymore. Is that the whole point? You still don’t know.
No one knows by what fancy Dr Harper pushes you all about in his great cosmic dance of personal selfimprovement.
You do know that Art remains quiet. Generally inconspicuous, but then you’re you, so you’re paying attention. And you don’t think he should get to sit there like an archaeologist recording the fossils of your collective melancholy, as though his own warm and living bones are out of the question.
Maybe you all can pull up the People.com article, A Comprehensive Timeline of Art and Tashi Donaldson’s Perfect Relationship and Messy Divorce, and have it contribute to the conversation.
Eleanor’s telling a story about the time her ex wrested her from bed and lobbed her out of the house at 2 AM in midwinter.
“And we lived in Duluth,” Eleanor’s saying, and she’s laughing in that disconcertingly manic way she does when she shares these things. “And I sleep halfnaked, so I’m fighting frostbite, and I’m just totally mortified that one of my neighbours will see me.”
“There’s nothing embarrassing about being halfnaked,” Ally shrugs.
And then you say, “Ha, yeah, I mean Art would know.”
Art—who, until now, looked like he was studiously contemplating the meniscus of his beer, or the grain of the table—flicks his gaze up to you.
You snort. “What, I’m supposed to act like everyone here hasn’t seen you oiled up and smouldering to the camera for Calvin Klein?”
A brief hush descends upon the table like a falling guillotine.
Then, laughter.
Eleanor snorts her gin and soda with such force that she coughs for a solid minute afterwards. There’s tears in her eyes and Colin is laughing at her and Ally is laughing at them both. And Art looks as embarrassed as a woman strewn porchside in her panties in midwinter in Duluth.
And—okay.
You were trying to be tongueincheek about it. But his discomfort levels are seemingly off the charts. He doesn’t know how to react and it makes him unhappy. Clearly, ten and something years of public scrutiny—and, in your defense, actually doing that photoshoot—have not prepared him for this moment.
You lean forward and awkwardly bump his fist with yours. “Hey, I’m kidding.”
But you’re not, because it was technically true.
“I thought it was artistic,” says Ally.
Eleanor, still crying laughing, “What, the fullpage spread of him fully waxed and laid out on a clay court surrounded by Great Danes?”
“Someone paid attention,” Colin chuckles, and Eleanor erupts into vibrant giggles again. Colin gives Art a courtesy clap on the shoulder before saying to Ally, “Maybe I’m old fashioned, but a Billboard of a guy wearing whities so tightie you can see his dickprint isn’t exactly Starry Night. But maybe I don’t get it.”
“You don’t have to worry too much about that. The art has to get you,” Ally says, pointing at him with a fry. Ally studied theatre. “I mean, we are the most complicated machinery in our lives. You have to take yourself seriously to do something like that.”
Everyone’s looking at Art like he’s some kind of colourful textbook.
It’s not often people sit beside a guy of whom they can confidently guess the naked physique.
And maybe you’re thinking that, too; you brought it up, after all. His arms look strong in his T-shirt sleeves. Not, like, bodybuilder strong. But lean and cut. And there’s a sort of animal grace to his movements. Like a fox, or something. Even as his ears burn a practically neon shade of carmine in the dim lighting.
He clears his throat. “I doubt anyone took that seriously,” he says dryly, the corner of his mouth ruefully, if hardly, upturned.
Eleanor shoves Ally playfully, swiping her tears away in a blissful mascara smear. “My God Al, will you stop scaring him with your Uta Hagen spiel?”
The conversation meanders to other topics. Fringe stuff, briefly, like the societal implications of male sexuality and modern advertising. But then things branch off entirely—The Fast and the Furious franchise, artificial intelligence, Colin’s stepson’s career aspirations of becoming a TikTok street interviewer. Et cetera.
You hope Art isn’t looking at you when you chance a glance his way, but when have you ever been so lucky?
So he’s looking at you. He looks at you like he’s taking inventory of you at your expense. He gives a slow blink, an almost imperceptible smile, then he lifts his beer towards you and takes a swig.
At the end of the night, he asks for your number, which feels like a boot to the loins. Not because it’s profoundly unbelievable. Maybe a little surprising, but, if anything, it’s the conclusion you’ve halfanticipated all night. That’s the way he’s been looking at you, at least. It’s just the finality of it all.
But what are you gonna say? No?
You call him that night.
“Hey, listen,” you say, “Sorry.”
God, what have they done to you?
Art, on the other end of the line, presumably lounging in his stately mansion, remains cautiously silent. You sigh like you’re losing something here.
“I hope I didn’t upset you,” you say, but realise your tone is too grudging, so you adjust, “I got awkward, I was trying to be funny. Which we both know by now that I’m not. I’m just a bitch. So, I just wanted to say… you obviously look fucking amazing. And your shoot was great. Everyone can see that.”
You swallow the dryness in your throat.
Art makes his own pained noise across the receiver. “Everyone?” he groans, and you cannot tell if you’re imagining the fleeting hue of amusement you discern there. “Please no.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say here.”
“You called me,” he scoffs. It’s a good scoff, if such a thing can be said. But he still sounds pretty incredulous with you, and not in a way that says he thinks you a moral paragon. You think he thinks you’re a bit of a monster. Which doesn’t offend you, actually. “To apologise.”
“And I did!”
“Okay?”
A silence befalls you like a yawning maw, stretching out. He could hang up on you. He doesn’t.
“Look, you can internalise the things I say at your own risk,” you say.
“You’re telling me.”
“But it was a nice photoshoot. And, you know… pretty hot and stuff, which I guess was the intended purpose.”
You feel like a corpse whose arteries are being drained of blood and filled with embalming fluid.
“Pretty hot and stuff?” he echoes. You roll your eyes.
If you’re lucky, he’s tipsy, because you guys didn’t only indulge in beer floats. So, maybe—by God’s impossible mercy—he’ll have forgotten this conversation in the morning.
“I—” you hesitate, adding a small laugh, kind of hoarse, kind of unconvincing. ���I—honestly—I can’t stop watching it.”
It’s not a joke, you both realise.
His voice drops an octave. “Really?”
And—fuck. Fuck, right? But you’ve made it this far.
“Really.”
You feel his eyes on you, not Tashi. Harper has you all thronged around a burn barrel in the community centre parking lot at 8 PM on a Wednesday. Scintillating honeygold flames lick at the night and shadow his face at pretty angles. And he’s reading his letter—that letter—and looking at you.
That’s bad.
This is supposed to be a cathartic and utterly sexless exercise in closure.
But you feel like a filthy fraud.
You’re crossing your arms, and blinking off the flameheat, and pretending not to stare at the scarp of his Adam’s apple and his tendons working beneath the skin of his hands.
He clears his throat, and his lips are moving like he’s trying not to laugh.
“Tashi,” he starts.
Her name, when he says it, still sounds like a tender orison. But last time he’d been reciting this thing, his eyes had been all flushed, raw, and misty, his voice abraded at its edges. Now—well—Agnes hasn’t slipped him a tissue in weeks.
“I still love— do we have to do this again? Can’t I just throw it in?”
The group sputters into giggles. You don’t know who brought the sweet Moscato.
Dr Harper pinches his nosebridge like an enervated preschool teacher. You think he, of all people, ought to be pleased—and you suspect he furtively is, but doesn’t want to discourage your good spirits with his approval—because, as much as you’re loathed to acknowledge it, all his forcible, unwelcome attempts at conjuring vulnerability amongst the lot of you have actually kind of worked.
The fire warms your brows to dampness, the saccharine acidity of the spirit seeping through your flesh and sweltering the rest of you. You should’ve worn a thinner sweater.
“Art,” says Dr Harper, “Your feelings are valid. Even—” The group interjects with a smattering of jeers, a slurred, densetongued amalgam of fuck you! and get a life, Harper! and other stuff to that effect. “—even your reluctance.”
The flames thrash deep indigo and copper. No one can quit laughing.
Dr Harper continues, “But the whole point of the exercise is—”
“Come on, Doc, we’re still pretending these exercises have points?” someone heckles.
“We’re still calling these exercises?” says someone else.
“Hurry up and cry already, Donaldson, I got work tomorrow.”
“Alright, alright,” Art raises a hand and everyone wanes to a simmer of firewarm drunken murmurs as though he’s some sort of Biblical king.
You roll your eyes, but you keep thinking of Great Danes on tennis courts and tightiewhities.
Everyone cheers like this is fucking Madison Square Garden when Art holds his hand out for the bottle, teeth scintillating in the pyreglow with a wry slanting smile.
He takes a long, healthy swig. You think you hear someone whistle. His lips gleam with moisture when they pop off the glass bottlemouth.
“You wanna see me cry?” he grins, eminently rueful and amused and resigned, all at once.
And everyone hurrahs and hollers and maybe some people even bark. He’s being pushed around affectionately from all angles. His gaze is sharp and garlanded by flames and trained on you. You raise your brows at him wryly, perhaps a little dubious, before lifting your hands and joining in the applause.
He clears his throat and sweeps his tongue over his upper lip and flicks the paper out like a Shakespearean scroll.
“Tashi,” he starts again.
You watch the fire lave and singe and swallow all your bitter, pathetic epistles.
Tashi.
I still love you. I’m still sorry. For something, or everything. For anything, really. It’s mostly okay, but it’s worse at night. And on weekends, and with Lily, and when the microwave starts making that shitty sound that you hated.
I miss you deep in my bones. I—
The flames scorch his words to flickering cinders.
You look at him, and he looks at you, and his bottom lashes glisten with tears. But he’s grinning widely. He’s laughing. He’s laughing a lot. Padma sings ‘Auld Lang Syne’, for some reason.
The goodbyes are a little maudlin, but sincere.
It’s time for you to all go home and actually get over your exes, which feels a bit jilting.
Art walks you to your car, and you let him, and you even let him get in your car, which is probably not a good idea. But it’s the end of the stupid workshop and you want to spend more time together. There, you can admit it.
You even say it out loud.
“I’m gonna miss this corny bullshit.”
“Yeah, me too,” he says, a little more quiet.
When the middle backseat belt buckle is digging sharply into your hip, and he’s got you pinned beneath him, and his hands are everywhere—seriously, it seems he was just waiting for your permission, because he’s squeezing all the flesh he can reach, slipping his hands under your shirt, between your thighs, just absolutely no decorum on this guy—you think to yourself, this motherfucker.
A spherule of spearmint gum slips from his mouth and into yours.
You’d thought, too, that he’d be more deft with this. And he is, but he’s also very clunky. Maybe because your car’s quite small. He’s not huge, but he is still fairly tall and broad and trying to fit himself between your thighs while covering you with his body in this small space, so it’s a bit chaotic. You don’t really mind.
And—yes—you have thought about it.
There’s a shot of him, in the Calvin Klein campaign, sprawled across the court in greyscale, his hand resting on his middle, his other arm above his head.
You know they edit those photos. That there’s some kid, fresh out of graphic design school, rubbing one out while airbrushing these halfnaked men to oblivion. But you now see—feel, more than see, really; there’s a streetlight nearby, but it’s blown, so you’re all touch—that such satin cannot be contrived. He really is that smooth. There’s not a bit of fat on him, but he’s oddly liquidfeeling, skin sloughing off like cream.
He’s always looked almost uncomfortably boyish to you. But you’re realising now that there’s an abrasiveness to his haggard breathing, and that potent, vaguely olid, mannish fume to his skin.
It's really doing it for you.
In that shot, he was lying right beside the polyethylene net and the sun was beaming down, searing alabaster, through the lattice, at an angle that splayed shadows all across him. The lines warping over the slopes of his body.
You feel the phantom crisscross of those shadows between your thighs now.
His eyes are still a little wet. He tells you he’s wanted to do this since he saw you giving him the jettatura while he was signing that racket for Harper's daughter. He also tells you he bets you’ve wanted to do this since you saw him in tightiewhities lying under a tennis net.
Can he be your tennis net?
You don’t even know what that means.
You laugh a little, but then he slips a finger inside you and latches his mouth to your pulse, and it is hot as magma, and you forget all about Great Danes and apologies and fires.
You would think they do some computer magic to make the cocks look bigger in those things, too.
They don’t.
To be fair, he doesn’t have some kind of doubletake worthy, John Holmes ordeal or anything, in the pictures. But the slope beneath the cotton, the bend of his hips like the handle of a water pitcher, all that pearlescent skin—so what if your saliva gathered on your tongue as you leaned in (way too closely) toward your laptop screen?
You feel especially shameless now as he slides into you.
Sure, the buckle is a bitch and the seatleather’s sort of chafing your ass and your elbow’s in a cup holder. But you take furtive pleasure in thinking that some people’s fantasies about him probably go like this.
The softest thing is his hand cupping the back of your neck, dragging your head up. It’s a weird contrast to the way his dick is pumping erratically in and out of you. Like he’s trying to control himself, maybe add a little romance.
You keep your eyes open to watch the way his body moves. Fuck it, you wanna see what all the fuss is about.
The talented Mr Ripley whose volleys (and probably orgasms) are intensive, frenetic affairs of selfpersuasion. Unless, of course, he’s fucking the random, judgy woman he met in a group therapy session. In this particular case—though laboured all the same—he comes harder and slower and you hear his panting groans in your ear as you shudder through your own pleasure.
He pulls your hips closer and empties himself in you and you rub yourself against him and you try to keep your eyes open, but, ultimately, you concede that you can only experience this pleasure in the dark.
You keep feeling his muscles work beneath your hands, though.
Dr Harper strongly recommends that you two not start seeing each other. He does just about everything but get on his knees and beg. And even that he nearly does. He reminds you that, on your Vision Tree, you mapped yourself single for at least the next two years.
But Art says he’s had enough of other people saying what’s good for him.
And your Vision Tree also forecasted you taking up jogging, which—come on.
#challengers#art donaldson#art donaldson x reader#art donaldson angst#art donaldson fluff#art donaldson smut#the art donaldson calvin klein campaign is canon to me#challengers fic#uta hagen was team tashi#dr harper is his own trigger warning#i am actually an artashi divorce denier#but i was too compelled by this idea#tightiewhities#tag yourself i’m eleanor trauma dumping on a fun night out
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Hi could you pretty please do velvette x reader who is Carmilla youngest daughter and how her family reacts (plus zestial pls I ship him and Carmilla so I feel like he's a step dad)❤️
A/N: I blacked out and wrote this.... but yeeees LISTEN!! I love Velvette so much, its not even funny and i had a lot of fun with this prompt! I didn't realize how much i wrote for it until it was too late, and by that point, i really couldn't stop. but I hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it! ps i honestly ship them too
Part 1 | Part 2
Character: Velvette
Type: Headcanons + Drabble (Velvette x reader who's Carmilla's youngest daughter, General with a bit of Angst and Fluff sprinkled in)
For Velvette, she actually entered into the relationship not really knowing who your parents were. You never brought it up and she never really asked. It didn't really matter to her, since, ya know, you're the one she's dating, not your mum and dad, or step-dad from what you've mentioned.
Honestly, she should've seen the similarities. They were there for sure, but let's face it, there are so many demons in hell that it was probably just a coincidence, right?
Carmilla also knew you were seeing someone as well, though she really figured that you would bring this special demon around when you were ready.
Oh, they were both wrong. So very wrong.
They found out simultaneously, of course, as cliche as it was. You were on an evening out with Velvette with no clear destination in mind, just simply enjoying the evening and each other's company when the next thing you knew you were face to face with your mother.
It... didn't go too well.
What had once been a peaceful evening nearly dissolved into a turf war all in an instant. If you hadn't been able to separate the two with a promise to talk to both separately later there was no doubt that everything in a three-block radius would be collateral.
Zestial and your sisters would find out soon thereafter, Carmilla of course telling them when they see her come home looking quite distraught.
As stated before, to Velvette, it really didn't matter. though it did sweeten the deal. It would give her plenty more opportunities for her to provoke the arms dealer, something that she already took a great deal of pleasure in.
Zestial would be skeptical of the relationship at the start but eventually comes to accept it fully. His patience won out this time. He's seen more than enough relationships like this go up in flames and he'd never want that for you. He considered you a daughter after all.
As for your sisters, both of them were simply happy that you were happy. They were more worried about how y'alls mom would react. And you can't tell me that they didn't already know, either.
Carmilla on the other hand... To her, family is everything. I mean, she killed an angel for you and your sisters. She'd do anything for her kids, and that includes keeping someone like that upstart from breaking your heart. She wholeheartedly believed that Velvette was only dating you to get one over on her. It really comes as no surprise when she goes all the way to Vee Tower to confront the youngest overlord herself.
"You need to stay away from my daughter."
The fashionista bit out a curse as a needle pricked her finger. Velvette doesn't usually startle easily, but shit, between her being completely focused on finishing and the fact that her workshop had previously been silent save for any sounds that she had been making herself, she thought that even the most stone-cold bitch would've jumped.
What good was the security for if those nitwits couldn't keep unauthorized demons out of her workshop? The influencer swore that if any blood got on the material for this dress she'd personally kill the guards and whoever-
Oh.
Of all the people she expected to see, Carmilla Carmine, the uptight weapons dealer, and apparent mum of her girlfriend, was not one of them. Or actually, scratch that. She was completely expecting this to happen sooner or later.
"Well, it sucks to suck then, wrinkles, I'm not going nowhere." The fashionista bit back, a smirk settling on her lips that quickly fell when the older woman tried to push her point.
"I know what you're trying to do and it-"
"Obviously you don't." All mischief gone from her tone, Velvette set her work to the side, careful not to crumple the fabric. She rose to her feet and began to cross the room to Carmilla, who in turn stood taller, determined not to let this miscreant make a mockery of her, her family, and most importantly her youngest daughter. "I hate to break it to you, but the only way I'll break it off is if SHE wants to."
Velvette paused, her eyes boring into Carmilla's with a conviction and passion that the arms dealer hadn't felt from the influencer before. When the younger woman spoke again, her voice was softer than before, laced with a sincerity that would leave the mother speechless.
"I love her."
Its this singular interaction that leads to a truce between the two (technically five if you include Zestial and the Vee's) Overlords. They would come to some sort of mutual understanding that if both of them were to be in your life, they'd have to play nice. At least in front of you. At Overlord meetings, well, that's a whole different story.
#i blacked out and wrote this#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#velvet x reader hazbin#velvette x reader#drabble#hazbin headcanons#hazbin imagine#fluff#angst
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Powder Blue
Pairing: Jinx (Powder) x Reader
Fandom: Arcane (League of Legends)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Act 3 Healing Vibes
Word Count: ~2.5k
Warnings: Mentions of emotional vulnerability, brief discussions of chaos and destruction (Jinx being Jinx). Overall, it’s a soft and tender piece meant to heal your heart.
Summary:
Zaun isn’t known for its quiet moments, but you’ve always found them with her—whether she’s Jinx, Powder, or the storm in between. After everything she’s been through, you’re her anchor, her “sunshine,” even when she insists she’s the thundercloud. Tonight, beneath the smog-filled sky of the Undercity, you remind her that stars, no matter how hidden, never burn out—and neither does she.
Notes:
This is for all the Arcane lovers who were emotionally wrecked after Acts 2 and 3 (raises hand). I wanted to write something soft and dreamlike, like the kind of fluff you fall into after a heavy rainstorm. Jinx deserves peace and someone who reminds her that she’s more than her chaos. Reader is gender-neutral and full of love. Let’s heal together!
The air smells of ash and copper, but it’s soft, almost like the remnants of fireworks in a summer sky. Zaun always had a way of making things feel heavy, like the weight of a smog-filled sky pressing down on you, but tonight? Tonight feels different. Tonight, she’s here.
Jinx.
Or maybe she’s still Powder to you, even now. You’ve never been able to pick a side, not when it came to her. Not when her eyes, burning with chaos and brilliance, find you across the workshop you’ve quietly tucked yourself into for the evening.
“Hey, sunshine.” Her voice rings like a melody, mismatched and full of energy, dragging you from your thoughts before you can start wallowing. The door slams shut behind her, and her boots clink against the uneven floor. She’s bouncing on the heels of her feet, a grin that doesn’t quite reach her eyes spreading wide as she leans against your desk. “What’re ya doing in here all alone? Didn’t you miss me?”
You blink, still caught between the memory of who she used to be and the whirlwind she’s become. It hurts sometimes, like a pinprick in your chest, but tonight you push it aside. Because if there’s one thing you’ve learned, it’s that Jinx needs your steadiness. Needs the quiet you offer when her head gets too loud.
“Just working on something,” you reply, your voice soft, a balm to her usual sharpness. You motion to the half-finished contraption on the table—a little music box that you thought might make her smile. You don’t tell her it’s for her, though. Not yet.
She tilts her head, her pigtails swaying with the motion, a curious glint sparking in her eyes. “Ooh, what’s that? It looks... fiddly.” Her fingers twitch as if resisting the urge to grab it and take it apart. Jinx has always been like this—a hurricane with hands, tearing things apart to see how they work, only to put them back together in ways no one else would ever dream of.
“It’s... not finished yet,” you say, moving it out of her reach before she can snatch it up.
She pouts, her lips curving downward, and it’s almost enough to undo you. “You’re no fun,” she mutters, but there’s no bite in her words. Instead, she slides onto the desk next to you, her long legs swinging over the edge as she watches you with that unnervingly intense gaze of hers.
You let the silence settle between you for a moment, comfortable despite the unspoken things hanging in the air. The hum of Zaun’s machinery rumbles softly in the background, a lullaby of gears and steam.
“How was your day?” you ask eventually, glancing up at her.
Her grin widens, almost too wide, and she starts talking—fast and animated, her words tumbling over each other as she recounts her latest escapade. Something about a heist, explosions, and narrowly escaping one of Piltover’s enforcers. You know you should probably scold her, tell her to be careful, but the way she lights up when she talks about it makes it impossible.
“And then, boom!” she says, throwing her arms out dramatically. “The whole thing went up in flames! You should’ve seen it—it was beautiful!”
You raise an eyebrow, unable to keep the fond smile from tugging at your lips. “Beautiful, huh?”
“Yeah, like... like a firework,” she says, her voice softening just a little. Her eyes drift to you, and for a moment, something vulnerable flickers in their depths. “You like fireworks, don’t you?”
You nod. “They remind me of you.”
Her head tilts again, and for once, she doesn’t try to hide the way her cheeks flush pink. “Tch. You’re so cheesy.”
“You love it.”
“Maybe,” she says, her grin returning full force. But there’s a softness there now, a quiet understanding that settles in her features like a shadow. She reaches out suddenly, her hand brushing against yours where it rests on the desk. Her fingers are calloused, scarred, but warm. “Thanks,” she says, almost too quiet for you to hear.
“For what?”
“For... I don’t know. For putting up with me, I guess.” She shrugs, like it’s no big deal, but you can feel the weight of her words. She’s always been bad at saying how she feels, always hiding behind laughter and chaos, but you’ve learned to read between the lines.
“You don’t have to thank me for that,” you say, your voice steady. “You’re not something I have to ‘put up with,’ Jinx.”
Her eyes flicker down to the floor, and for a moment, you think she might argue, might push you away like she’s done so many times before. But instead, she stays quiet, her fingers still brushing against yours.
It’s a small thing, barely noticeable, but it feels like a victory.
The night stretches on, and somehow you end up on the rooftop, the city sprawled out below you like a broken mosaic of light and shadow. Jinx is lying on her back next to you, her arms stretched out above her head as she stares up at the smog-covered sky.
“Do you think the stars are still up there?” she asks suddenly, her voice softer than you’ve ever heard it.
You glance at her, surprised by the question. “Of course they are.”
She hums, her eyes half-lidded. “I dunno. Feels like they might’ve all burned out by now, y’know? With how dark it’s gotten.”
You don’t know what to say to that, so you stay quiet, your gaze drifting upward. The sky is heavy with smoke and pollution, the stars hidden behind layers of grime, but you like to think they’re still there, waiting.
Jinx shifts beside you, rolling onto her side so she’s facing you. “You ever think about leaving this place?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.
You turn to look at her, your heart clenching at the vulnerability in her expression. “Sometimes,” you admit. “But not without you.”
Her eyes widen, just a fraction, and for a moment, you think you’ve said the wrong thing. But then she laughs, a soft, breathless sound that makes your chest ache. “You’re such a sap,” she says, but there’s no malice in her tone. If anything, she sounds... touched.
“Maybe,” you say, a small smile tugging at your lips. “But I mean it.”
She stares at you for a long moment, her eyes searching yours like she’s trying to find the cracks in your sincerity. But you’ve never lied to her, not once, and you won’t start now.
Finally, she sighs, flopping onto her back again. “You’re gonna be the death of me, sunshine,” she mutters, but there’s a hint of a smile in her voice.
The night ends with her falling asleep against your shoulder, her breathing soft and even as the weight of the day finally catches up to her. You stay still, not wanting to wake her, and let your eyes drift shut as well.
For a moment, everything feels okay.
And for now, that’s enough.
The music box sits on her desk the next morning, finished and polished to perfection. When she wakes, groggy and blinking against the morning light, her eyes land on it, and you watch as her expression shifts from confusion to wonder.
She picks it up carefully, like it might shatter in her hands, and when she winds it up, the soft melody fills the room—a song she used to hum when you were kids, back before everything fell apart.
She doesn’t say anything, but when she looks at you, her eyes are shining, and for the first time in a long time, you see a piece of Powder there.
“Thank you,” she says, and this time, you know she means it.
You smile, reaching out to brush a strand of blue hair from her face. “Always.”
Masterlist
#arcane season 2 spoilers#league of legends arcane#arcane#arcane jinx#jinx arcane#jinx league of legends#jinx#jinx x reader#jinx fluff#fluff#jinx x reader fluff
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how much do you work with stained glass? I'm really looking to try it out but the initial investment of equipment is scaring me off, I was wondering what stuff you'd consider the bare minimum of things you need to get started?
Honestly I do very little actual stained glass, in terms of soldering glass together. I wind up using my glass tools a fair bit to cut and shape glass for other reasons, like putting in lights or adding to furniture or even just replacing picture frame glass. Doing basic glass cutting is really easy, and the tools required are very inexpensive--a glass cutter, running pliers, grozing pliers, and sandpaper is all you really need to start. I also have some decent glass nippers. Each of those will run you somewhere in the ballpark of ten dollars, give or take a bit. I think my nippers were closer to $20. If you're just wanting to be able to add fun glass to stuff, then that's very achievable.
The more expensive tools are your soldering iron, and a glass grinder. The grinder isn't technically necessary, but the alternative is sanding/shaping entirely by hand, which sucks. Both of these are worth investing in decent tools. Solder and copper foil tape are also not the cheapest, and neither is glass, though glass, at least, you can sometimes find secondhand. If you're working inside, you also want to consider how you're ventilating, and whether you need some type of breath protection. I tend to do most of my soldering outdoors.
Long story short, if you're curious about stained glass but aren't sure if you want to commit, find a place that does workshops! Most stained glass supply stores will have classes somewhere, which usually include at least some of the tools needed. It's worth it to do a class both for the instruction and for the ability to decide if it's something you want to continue doing; it is not a cheap hobby, though it is very cool. Ideally, you'll find people who can point you to the resources you want for whatever type of stained glass you want to do.
#I do consider basic glass cutting skills to be very accessible and a good tool to have in your toolbox#the ability to replace damaged panes of glass or upgrade to fun colors of glass is great#and it;s honestly not that hard#you're going to ruin some glass while you learn but its a fun skill!
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Jinx x f!reader and their first kiss, date, time, fight, all that couple stuff short little pieces of girlies being cute
★。/ get jinxed \。★
pairing: jinx x f!reader
fandom: arcane
word count: 1,612
tw: canon typical swearing/slang, some light spoiler warnings, and some suggestive/NSFW content! MDNI!
notes: this is a fic i am really excited for! Thank you again for the request anon! It was really fun to write, and i got through it pretty quickly to be perfectly honest because of that haha. Not proofread because im tired, and i have no shame :D enjoy!
! be sure to like and reblog if you enjoyed !
➼ first date with jinx
You worked under Silco delivering shimmer across Zaun. Of course, you knew you shouldn’t have been doing this, it could get you arrested without question and you’d find yourself in Stillwater. But it paid well, and working so closely with the Eye of Zaun meant you didn’t have to worry as much about danger in Zaun. People saw you as a god-send, you gave them their weekly hit, if anything, the danger made them respect you.
It was during this time that you met Jinx, while picking up your next delivery of shimmer from Silco’s warehouse. She had been there to speak with him privately about some arson issue that happened in Piltover. You had heard briefly about a lanky, blue-haired girl that would build bombs in the open space beneath the warehouse, but it was rare that anyone had ever seen her. But you managed. Somehow.
She intercepts you on your trade route, setting bombs off in the street just across from one of your clients. Jinx claims to recognise you from skulking around the warehouse. And at some point her chaotic energy and her strange inability to sit still seems to lull you into some sense of security. She’s just the perfect idea of unpredictability that you needed in your otherwise boring Zaunite lifestyle. (Though you were very lucky, all things considered.)
Your first date is a simple diner one. At first, you didn’t even know it was a date, just that she wanted to do something fun with you. She takes you in to meet her favourite bartender Chuck, who seems to almost slink beneath the counter when she drags you in. I feel like Jinx would give you a little monkey bomb as a gift for your first date - though it isn’t set, it’s pretty harmless. Other than that she bombards you with strange bursts of Jinx-aligned humour, and rambles at length about her various inventions, promising to take you down to her workshop to show you everything, while tightly gripping your fingers with chipped blue nails.
And something in those bright, blue eyes makes you think that maybe this unpredictability could be quite fun.
‘Don’t ya get bored frownin’ like that?’ jinx drums her nails on her glass, the clinking echoing throughout the empty bar. It was quite odd, you reckon, for it to be this quiet, but maybe its just jinx.
In her own way of trying to get a smile out of you she starts spouting some random jokes. Tries telling her own funny stories. They all mostly revolve around bombs or explosive presentations she’s organised at piltover events. Mainly the absurdity of it all gets a laugh out of you, or you just smile at the giddy, child-like happiness you see in her eyes. Something that seems so pure (ignoring the fact that she’s probably an arsonist and on several watchlists)
‘There ya go!’ she cheers, grabbing onto your hands and interlacing your fingers. You think maybe you should paint your nails too to match her, see if it makes her happy. ‘You look so much prettier with a smile, trinket’
➼ first kiss with jinx
It was after your third or fourth date that you ended up spending your free time in the warehouse. Jinx begins showing you all the new inventions she’s making, and all her designs for cartoony monkey bombs, you even help her draw out a few, including a cutesy little cat one that she isn’t as fond of, but she still makes one for you.
Most of your relationship consists of Jinx making you little trinkets, like keychains, safe bombs, little bracelets and rings, and strange, misshapen sculptures made of leftover metal pieces.
She loves you, in a very Jinx-way. She’s touchy but never very pushy. Long hugs, cuddles on a couch that she has balancing on a metal propellor in her warehouse, letting you braid her hair when she’s tired (please brush her hair, she will melt, and she needs some softness), holding hands in Zaun or dragging you to her private meetings with Silco. Whether you like it or not, you have the Eye of Zaun as an adopted father figure now. He isn’t quite sure what to think about it either.
It is one of those cuddle sessions, after she is plagued by the voices that taunt her, that you end up just holding her face into your neck and sitting with her. These are the most important to her, like she can feel safe for once.
‘Thank ya toots,’ she curls around you, straddling your lap and looking down on you with an innocent pout on her face. You don’t have to ask what she’s thanking you for, this has become a pretty regular occurrence.
In her moment of calmed silence, you untie one of her braids and begin to brush through her long, blue locks with your fingers. She immediately melts into your hands, leaning forward to lean into your chest, gazing up at you.
‘I feel like ya deserve somethin,’ she says absently, tapping her chin with one nail. Then a mischievous smile crosses her lips. ‘C’mere!’
She eagerly grabs your cheeks, barely giving you a second to register what’s happening before she smushes your faces together. Her lips are chapped, but her kiss is so enthusiastic that you have to take a moment before returning it. Your hand grips her hair in between tight fingers.
The rest of your cuddle sesh is spent with soft, hurried kisses.
➼ first fight with jinx
You don’t often fight with Jinx, you don’t like to yell at her or be upset, and watch her usually gleeful expression drop into that of a kicked puppy. But you were worried about her this time.
She had gone up to piltover against Silco’s wishes again, most likely to stir up trouble, so he decided to send you after her to drag her back to Zaun. When you had gotten there however, you found only the debris of her explosions, the spraypaint she loved, clouds of coloured smoke, and guards everywhere.
And no Jinx.
No sign of her or where she could be, you had no choice but to return to Zaun before you got dragged into the oncoming investigation, empty-handed. You spend the rest of the day worrying over where she might be in her workshop, sitting with your head in your hands on the couch. Is she hurt? Captured? She could be dead for all you know.
So when she shows up again, seemingly ignorant to how long she has been gone or the stress she has caused, you can’t help but raise your voice, crying about how you had expected the worst. You scream back and forth for a bit before she leaves you to burn off her energy.
‘Hey trinket,’ the door to her warehouse screeches open, and she stands in the entrance, looking at you as you sit on the couch, barely even looking at her. ‘Ya still mad at me?’
She sighs when she doesn’t get a response, coming close to wipe at the dried tear-stains on your cheeks, setting down her tools and her guns to favour your face between her hands. Jinx makes sure you can see only her.
‘I’m sorry i vanished, i didnt mean to scare ya, honest.’ she pulls you down to lean into her shoulder, still stroking your cheeks with her fingers. ‘Can ya forgive me, trinket? I’ll make it up to ya, i promise.’
Jinx cuddles with you on the couch for the rest of the day, showering you in kisses at your request. Safe to say, you can’t stay mad at her for very long at all.
|| ! mdni content below ! ||
➼ first time with jinx
Jinx has always loved touching you, whether it’s a hand on your knee, an arm around your shoulder, or a hug from behind. She just loves to be close to you. But when you begin talking about the idea of sex with her she immediately jumps on the idea (and probably jumps on you as soon as you bring it up, you only barely manage to drag her somewhere private)
She’s an enthusiastic lover in all things, of course. Fucking you isn’t going to be any different. But she’s gentle the first time, despite it all, she doesn’t really know what she’s doing, i don’t think Silco really prepared her for intimate relationships.
But still, having sex with Jinx is amusing, its not serious, always cracking little jokes or tickling each other and finding little ways to be comfortable with the process. You can’t really find it in you to be nervous.
She’d start slowly with you though, if you wanted, just to make you comfortable <3
‘God trinket, ya look s’ pretty like this for me,’ she’s already slightly breathless, skirting her hands and dragging her chipped nails over your ribs. She lays you down on the couch in her warehouse, sitting between your thighs, looking up at you with half-lidded eyes.
‘Ya feel alright?’ she checks in occasionally, just to be sure.
But she lets her hands wander at the same time, she can tell you aren’t going to say no just by the look in your eyes, urging her to continue. She lets her hands travel over your stomach and down in between your thighs, but she doesn’t hurry where you need her. No, she prefers to tease you. Just a little bit to get you squirming.
When she does finally reach your core, dipping her fingers in between your folds, does she finally let up and give you what you want.
#arcane#arcane smut#arcane headcanon#arcane fanfic#arcane x reader#arcane imagines#jinx#jinx arcane#jinx x reader#jinx league of legends#powder arcane#vi x reader#fanfic#smut fic#wholesome#headcanon#imagine
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Mercenaries x Reader on Laughing Gas who calls them handsome
In this order; Heavy, Medic, Spy, Sniper, Scout, Demoman, Engineer, Soldier, Pyro
Heavy
“You’re handsome…”
The man was too stunned to speak. Medic told him you were going to be real honest when under laughing gas, but he wants expecting THIS.
He finds you adorable like this. You’re absolutely smaller than him (Unless you’re a tall queen/ruler/king, in which we stan * finger snaps *) and carries you around until you’re able to think straight again.
10/10.
Medic
He puts you under just for fun because he finds you cute like this, so he’s gotten used to your loopy speech
“You’re handsome…” “Danke Taube.”
Still makes him giddy every time you compliment him though. Watches you stumble around the room like a toddler.
7/10
Spy
”You’re handsome…”
He knows. He appreciates it, but he knows.
“Merci. You’re a mess…”
Finds your loopy behaviour cute and slightly entertaining. Wouldn’t actively go out of his way to help you, but will keep an eye on you so you don’t end up killing yourself.
6/10
Sniper
“You’re handsome…”
He’s flustered immediately, does the awkward pulling hat down to cover the blush move.
“Thanks Sheila…”
Probably gonna get baby locked in his van due to him not wanting you to get hurt, but also having no idea how to care for you.
8/10
Scout
“You’re handsome…”
Stop inflating his ego, you’ve doomed the others for the next hour.
“YA’ HEAR THAT BUSH MAN?! MA GIRL THINKS I’M HANDSOME”
Bro probably puts you on one of those weird monkey leashes that you put bad kids on (Couldn’t be me…) and just watches you with so much entertainment.
8/10
Demoman
“You’re handsome…”
Dude’s drunk 24/7 so you’re basically the same person at this point.
“No, YER handsome… Beautiful… Pretty… Yeah…”
He’s constantly taking care of his mom, so you’re in good hands. No sharp objects, no fire, no Pyro, absolutely no Pyro, you’re safe.
10/10
Engineer
“You’re handsome…”
So much blush on that poor Texas man’s face.
“Aw… Thanks sweet pea… How ya’ feelin’?”
We stan a man who’s concerned about you. Keeps you in his workshop while he works. More than willing to explain to you what he’s doing like you’re 5.
10/10
Soldier
“You’re handsome…”
He’s a really loud person so everyone is going to know that you called him handsome.
“OF COURSE I’M HANDSOME! I AM THE GREATEST AMERICAN ON EARTH!”
Dude would have no idea what to do with you. Heavy just ends up taking care of you.
2/10
Pyro
“You’re handsome…”
‘Happy Pyro noises’
Definitely not the best at taking care of people, but in you’re loopy state, he’s amazing.
Y’all are absolutely gonna do stuff like colouring, playing with his unicorns, and absolutely cuddling.
#tf2#medic tf2#medic team fortress 2#team fortress 2#tf2 medic#medic tf2 x reader#tf2 x reader#writers on tumblr#team fortress 2 x reader#team fortress medic#team fortress two#tf2 heavy#engineer#engie#scout#spy#sniper#tf2 medic x reader#x reader#heavy x reader#tf2 engineer#engineer x reader#scout x reader#tf2 scout#demoman#team fortress scout#tf2 pyro#pyro#tf2 spy#tf2 sniper
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Self Love Is Hard.
Lucifer Morningstar x Fem Reader
CW: Angst, Negative Body Image, Fluff, Self-Harm Mention.
Synopsis: You would think that when the King of Hell himself chose you as his love, that any doubts you had about yourself would vanish... but one night the thoughts rear its ugly head once more. Word Count: 3,481
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The night was unusually quiet in the hotel. Most mornings were left with redemption exercises that Charlie had planned with the staff and guests, while the night most people stuck together having fun. Usually, you would be with Lucifer in his workshop, reading in your chair while he worked on his little duck creations. Music would be playing on the radio that Alastor had given you that you begged Lucifer to let you keep. You usually looked forward to most nights knowing it would just be you and Lucifer together, though quiet, enjoying each other's company.
Tonight, though it was different, Lucifer was still in the Greed ring dealing with Mammon's temper tantrum over the loss of Fizzarolli, and Lucifer had to deal with the consequences of it. You knew Mammon's temper was one that Lucifer didn't want to deal with, but you had convinced him to go after Ozzie texted you about the ordeal.
Staring at your phone, you scrolled through the messages to Lucifer with a frown.
12:51pm: How is it going with Mammon?
No response
5:22pm: Alastor found a cat today, Charlie decided to keep it as a hotel pet!
No response
8:07pm: Any idea when you're going to be back tonight?
Seen
Lucifer hadn't been responding all day, and though you knew it was because he was dealing with his duties, you couldn't help but feel a bit saddened by it. Usually, he would respond with a witty comeback about how Mammon was an asshole or make a snide remark about Alastor. Instead, though you were met with the word 'Seen' at the end of your last message that was sent hours ago. It was now rounding to eleven thirty at night, and you had thought he would be back by now.
Most of his meetings didn't last this long, you know from past meetings, what if this time something had gone wrong? What if he got hurt in the Greed ring? Could he get hurt? That thought never crossed your mind as you never seen this man injured before. He was the most powerful being in all of Hell, could he truly be hurt? If he was... especially in Greed what would happen? You knew there was a place called Ransom, would they try to take him there? Sell him off to Charlie for a huge fee?!
All those thoughts ended quickly as your phone dinged to life indicating you got a message. Quickly, you sat up opening the message app seeing it was a message from Lucifer.
Luci-Love: Sorry duckling, Ozzie asked me to join him in Lust for a few drinks and to catch up. I'll be home later tonight.
You read the message, your frown deepening as you typed out a message and deleted it a few times. Your mind was beginning to race as to what he would be doing in Lust. You knew of the Succubuses that had tried to get with him last time you and him went to Lust together. It was for an anniversary dinner a few months back.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"That woman over there won't stop ogling you." You huffed as you took a sip of your red wine glaring daggers to the woman staring at Lucifer. Ever since you two entered Lust, you could feel their stares at your boyfriend, feel the way their jealousy grew as Lucifer had pulled you closer to him. You weren't usually one to be jealous, but you couldn't help but feel that envy tug in your chest. The demons of Lust were quite beautiful, sexy even if you were honest, so the fact that they were making heart eyes to the man you were with annoyed you.
"And that man won't stop staring at me either, but you don't seem to mind that." Lucifer smirked puffing his chest out as he knew he was being stared at by so many. Why wouldn't they want to stare at the King of Hell, he was a sight to behold! Especially tonight with the way he was dressed. Instead of his usual royal garb of his white suit, he was in a deep red tuxedo with black trims. His usual white top hat, left at home for the evening, leaving his blond locks styled perfectly back.
You cocked an eyebrow to him as he looked at you with a slight smirk on his lips before you felt him take your hands from across the table you sat at. He gave them a gentle squeeze looking into your eyes. "But darling, my eyes are on only you." He hummed, pulling your hand up to his mouth giving your knuckles a gentle kiss.
The simple gesture helped to calm your jealous rage down for the moment, not wanting to ruin your anniversary with him. Though the nagging feeling in your chest didn't waver as the waitress flirted with Lucifer, and he seemed to flirt back. He later explained he was simply being nice and didn't hesitate to show you just who he devoted himself to that night.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
That nagging feeling was back in your chest as you remembered the Lust ring. A thought tickling the back of your head wondering how many demons were trying their hand at being with Lucifer since you weren't there. How many imps were throwing themselves at him? You knew that Lucifer was loyal, but you couldn't help the doubt that creeped in through the silence.
With a groan, you set your phone down rubbing your face with your hands. You could feel your mind slowly slipping as you imagined what the women who were fawning over Lucifer probably looked like. Gorgeous tall women no doubt with thin waists and bigger assets that would tempt the weak. You knew your body was nothing compared to theirs. You were barely even average in your eyes.
'What does Lucifer even see in me?' Your mind wandered as you moved off the bed, your bare feet hitting the cold wooden floor of your shared bedroom. You slipped your feet into Lucifer's duck slippers as you grabbed the robe off the headboard and wrapped it around yourself.
You slowly walked towards the bathroom wanting to splash some water on your face. Lose the thoughts that were beginning to eat away at you. Before meeting Lucifer, you struggled to love yourself. You couldn't see what he did, how he seemed to worship your body and love every inch of you. How he was always enamored by your apparent beauty that you struggled to see yourself.
Though through the past almost two years of being with him, he has made you feel beautiful. He reminded you daily how much he adored you and loved you. How you were the only woman he ever wanted to see.
'If that's true, then why wouldn't he just come home? Why go to Lust?' The thought filled your head as you walked into the bathroom flipping the light on. Your eyes went to the mirror and stared over yourself. Your hand tracing your cheeks that seemed too puffy, your fingers tracing your jaw that seemed to jut out too much. Your eyes watched your movements, seeming so dull as they looked lower. Even with the robe on, your eyes were able to pick out the stomach rolls.
Instinctively, you looked down at your stomach, and sucked it in the best you could. It wasn't enough. You could still see your stomach jutting out, mocking you. Your hands grabbed at the extra flesh that was there, squeezing at it as your vision blurred with tears. The women in Lust didn't have this pudge, they didn't have this extra weight around their waists. They didn't have to worry about how their bodies looked in clothes. They didn't have to worry about making sure their skin was fully covered to hide away the stretch marks like you did.
You wished you could just cut the extra flesh off, just grab the scissors that laid in the bathroom drawer and chop away the fat that you were so easily able to grab.
Your hands were shaking now as you looked back to the mirror in front of you, watching your tears roll off your round cheeks. Even your tears were hideous. How did other people cry and not look as awful as you did right now. The longer you stared at yourself in the mirror, the more the tears seemed to blur your vision.
'Hideous beast, he pities you.' That same nagging voice mocked you in the back of your mind. That had to be it, Lucifer only felt pity for you... was only keeping you around till someone better came along or came back. Your mind drifting to Lilith now, the woman who left Lucifer all those years ago.
You had seen images of her, she was breathtaking. Tall, thin and gorgeous with long blonde hair. She radiated beauty. Lucifer and her had been married for eons before you two met, did he still miss her? Did he still find her more beautiful than you?
The phone buzzed from the other room indicating you had a new message which snapped you out of your thoughts, even for a moment. With a deep inhale, you left the bathroom, forgetting why you even went in there in the first place as you walked to the bed grabbing your phone. You were expecting it to be Lucifer, saying he would be home soon. Instead, though, it was just Charlie texting the hotel group chat with a new idea for tomorrow's lesson.
With a quick grunt, you threw your phone across the room watching it slam against the wall by a photo of you and Lucifer. It was a photo of the two of you sitting in a garden together, you are laying across his lap happily giggling at whatever he had been saying at the time. The look in both of your gazes was filled with nothing but love and admiration. The longer you stared at the photo though, the more you were nitpicking each imperfection you saw.
Your hair was too frizzy, your face was too round, the way you were squinting gave you what seemed to be crow lines.
As you stared, your eyes moved to the photo on the dresser. It was a smaller framed photo of Lucifer with Charlie and Lilith. He had offered to get rid of it, but you thought it was a sweet memento for him to have. At the time you at least thought so, but now as you walked up to it and lifted the photo you stared at the other woman in the frame. How did Lucifer go from someone like her, to someone like you? It didn't make sense to you.
As time passed, your mind continued down the dark path of self-hatred and you found yourself sitting on the bedroom floor, your robe long lost leaving you in just your pajama shorts and tank top. In front of you was a broken mirror, shattered after you punched your own reflection. It was obvious that you should clean your bleeding fist, but you couldn't bring yourself to. Maybe you should at least clean the broken mirror before Lucifer comes home. The idea of even moving, though it seemed too much to do, all that seemed to help was sitting on the plush carpet, hugging your legs as you stared at the broken reflection now.
The sound of whirring seemed to snap you out of your thoughts as your eyes looked up seeing the gold and red portal appearing in the room. Through the portal, you saw the purple blue sky of the Lust ring and heard people laughing and having fun. Then, coming into view was Lucifer wearing his usual white and red clothes, except his jacket hung around his arm, and his sleeves were rolled up. The buttons of his white and red pinstripe vest were undone as well, revealing the white undershirt he wore.
After a moment the portal closed, and the room returned to the darkness it had been for the past hour or so as you sulked in the corner.
"Darling, are you awake?" Lucifer asked as he set his coat down on the chair. He didn't notice you weren't in bed yet. He didn't see the broken mirror that you cursed yourself for not cleaning up. Nor did he see you in all your broken glory, eyes red and puffy from crying. Your eyes watched his movements as he moved to the bed only to notice you weren't there. "Darling?" His voice called out till his eyes finally found you.
In an instant, the lights to the bedroom snapped on as he looked at you, his vermilion eyes filling with fright. He took in the scene of the broken mirror in front of you, staring at the broken shards on the floor. His eyes then moved to your body that was trembling, hugging yourself with a bloodied fist. Then his eyes met yours, and the fright filled with a deep sadness as he finally noticed how miserable you looked.
"Oh darling..." He whispered as he walked over to you kneeling taking your hands into his. He examined the wound on your hand, noting the tiny shards of glass that glistened in the blood. He looked upset seeing the injury you had caused yourself, his mind wondering what made you do this.
For the first time in hours, you finally spoke, your voice cracking as you did from disuse "I-I'm sorry." You were sorry now, regretting how you felt, regretting all the thoughts you had knowing this was upsetting Lucifer now. You acted reckless, in your emotions, and now after a long day, Lucifer had to see you wallowing in your pity.
His eyes moved from your hands to your eyes as you spoke. One of his hands tenderly reaching out to cup your cheek to comfort you while the other still held your injured hand, cradling it in his own. "Let's get you cleaned up yeah?" He spoke so gently, as though if he was too loud, you'd break once more. He was obviously concerned about the injury, wanting to make sure it was dealt with before he found out what happened.
You didn't fight him as he helped you to your feet, all the energy you had at this point was focused on not crying once again at how soft he was being with you. You didn't fight as he took you into the bathroom, nor as he guided you to sit on the edge of the bathtub. The cold porcelain of the tub seems to help ground you from the spiraling thoughts in your mind.
Lucifer gently let your hand go as he began searching the cabinet for the first aid kit, muttering under his breath about how it seemed to have grown legs and moved. "Other... Cabinet" you told him, pointing with your good hand at the other cabinet door that he hadn't checked. He glanced over at you with a thankful smile before he grabbed the first aid kit from the other cupboard and sat beside you on the bathtub.
He was gentle as he picked the glass out with tweezers, and careful as he applied the antiseptic onto the wound cleaning it out. The silence of the whole procedure was eating away at you, worried about what he was thinking. He probably thought you were a mess; he probably was annoyed that he had to deal with your mistakes. The fear of him leaving you poking at your mind as tears began to prick at your eyes.
Once your hand was properly cleaned and wrapped, Lucifer brought your hand to his lips, and gave it a gentle kiss. His deep red eyes staring into your own, and those thoughts faded immediately. He didn't look angry or annoyed like you were thinking, instead, his eyes were filled with love and care. Just like in the bedroom, he brought his other hand to your face, wiping away the tear that had escaped your eyes with his thumb gliding across your cheek.
"What's wrong Dove?" He spoke so softly still, calling you by your favorite nickname he had given you. "What happened to the mirror in the bedroom?"
Your gaze finally broke from his as you looked away, looking anywhere else than his eyes. How do you explain to someone who loves you so much, that you doubted that love? How do you explain to someone who reminds you of your beauty daily, that you hated your body? The words seemed to be stuck in your throat, but Lucifer waited, he didn't push as the silence festered between both of you.
The man before you simply kept his hand on your cheek providing a subtle comfort as his thumb continued to caress at your tears wiping them away with each swipe. You couldn't speak still, instead moving your hand to your cheek, holding his. His smile was sad, worried about what was eating away at your mind.
"Speak to me Dove... What is hurting you so badly?" He finally pressed the issue after you didn't answer his first questions. All he wanted to know was what was causing you so much grief, so much pain to have you shatter the floor length mirror in your shared bedroom.
When he left this morning, you were happy. You both had shared a tender moment wrapped in each other's arms before he left to go deal with Mammon. Now though, you were like a hallow shell of yourself, and from the damage from the mirror, Lucifer had an inkling of an idea as to why.
This wasn't the first time you spiraled in your relationship together. He has comforted you just as much as you had comforted him in the time you two were together. He knew firsthand just how bad your mind could be to yourself. The nights where he hugged your crying form for hours proved that. Though he has never seen you this bad before. Just how long had you been alone with your thoughts?
The silence seemed to just grow more between you two, before finally, the tension in your throat keeping you from talking seemed to loosen. With a shaky inhale of breath, you looked at his eyes which stared at yours still waiting for an answer.
"Why me?" You began, your hand leaving his that was still against your cheek and instead fidgeted in your lap as your eyes left his. "There are so many other women out there who are far better suited for you..." That tight knot was back gripping your throat once more making it hard to speak, but you pushed through. "S-so many more women wh-who are more beautiful. M-more appealing, More-"
Your voice was cut off as Lucifer's lips pressed against yours gently silencing you immediately. After a moment he pulled back, his other hand now coming to hold your other cheek.
"My love, there is no one in either Heaven nor in Hell whose beauty can outweigh your own. Even if there was, you are the only woman I desire." He spoke slowly and quietly, staring deep into your own eyes. One of his hands moved and took yours, pressing it against his chest. "My heart beats for you, and for you alone." His other hand moved and took your injured hand tenderly, bringing it to his mouth kissing it once more.
These are words you have heard him say before, words uttered during past spirals. Words he would remind you of every chance he could, no matter how much you couldn't believe them yourself. You knew he was being genuine each time, his eyes holding no falsehoods, his voice never faltering as he spoke. It was the truth, and you never understood just why.
"You are the one I want to spend eternity with no matter the cost. The one who holds my heart in such tangles. I thought when I fell from Heaven, that would be the last time I ever fell. Then you stumbled into my life, and I fell even harder, and I do every single day. It's because you mean so much to me my little dove." He went on, taking the hand against his chest, and brought it up to his lips as well, kissing both of your hands.
The tears in your eyes now weren't from the pain you felt anymore, but from his words. Your partner was perfect in your eyes, always knowing the right things to say, the right movements to do. He knew the words that you needed to hear, and didn't hesitate to let you know every thought.
Without another word you leapt at him, wrapping your arms around his chest, knocking the two of you into the bathtub. The dam broke as he in turn wrapped his arms around you, holding you close to him. You wept in his arms, burying your face in his shoulder. Lucifer’s hand brushed through your hair, scratching gently at your scalp to comfort you silently, letting you release the emotions you were dealing with. How foolish you had been to let your thoughts get the better of you. How foolish you were to doubt the love this man had for you. You knew deep down you didn’t deserve him, yet he would beg to differ and would deny those thoughts of yours. He would even counter that he didn’t deserve you. When he fell from Heaven, he didn’t think he would be deserving of such love as yours’s, yet you love him day in and day out by choice, and he didn't think he deserved it either. After some time had passed, you had finally calmed down in his arms. Lucifer's hand not leaving your head as he continued to caress your hair, placing a soft kiss on your temple. Your tears finally had dried up, or well dried more so on Lucifer's red and white vest. Lucifer took the time to sit you both up in the bathtub, having you sit on his lap with one more kiss to your forehead. "Let's not go punching mirrors anymore, okay? If you need an outlet for that rage, we can ask Satan for some pointers." He joked as he stood up lifting you with him in his arms, carrying you as though you were weightless. You couldn't help but choke out a laugh nodding as you laid your head against his shoulder. "I learned my lesson... Mirrors fucking hurt." You responded as he carried you into the bedroom. You both would be okay, even if some days are harder than the other, you both had each other to help soften the blow of those hatred filled thoughts. Even if self love was sometimes hard, you knew that even if you couldn't love yourself, Lucifer had enough love to give you in replace of it.
#lucifer x reader#lucifer morningstar x reader#Hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel imagine#hazbin hotel oneshots#hazbin hotel oneshot#lucifer morningstar oneshot#lucifer angst#lucifer fluff#TW blood#TW Body image
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ɪᴛ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛᴀᴋᴇꜱ ᴀ ᴛᴀꜱᴛᴇ · ᴍᴜʟᴛɪᴘʟᴇ ʙꜱᴅ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ ༉‧₊˚
featured. osamu dazai, chuuya nakahara, fyodor dostoevsky, nikolai gogol, sigma. content. f!reader. based on a request. mentions of alcohol (dazai), mentions of food, nicknames, slavic dishes. (minor) spoilers for stormbringer. translation at the end. not proofread.
author's note. this was an incredibly fun request! these men either shift between being incompetent, or not being reliant on others, so it took a sweet turn.
would you like to see more? join the taglist or comment under this post!
synopsis. the kitchen can be many things. a refuge from the toils of everyday life. a workshop for the creation of exquisite tastes. an assemblage of conversation over collaboration.
but one thing is certain—a well-endeavored meal can warm the coldest of hearts.
𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈 arrived home late one evening, tromping through the doorway with the confidence only a drunken man could muster. It had been one of those nights, ones in which he was all too aware of the hollowness of his own heart. One of those days where everything was too loud, the ones where he picked up every minuscule detail, whether he wanted to or not. So, he had taken to a drink or two to fill a void, only to dip into another—before he knew it, the room was spinning, and he found himself kicked out of the bar.
But he still had you to return to, so he gathered any soberness left within him and clambered to place his trench coat and shoes in the spots you had set out for them. He was glad you didn't hear him walk in. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been granted the opportunity to take in the view. You pranced around the kitchen, a lifted twirl in your heel as you stirred ingredients in a saucepan, the domestic mess of powders against your skin.
You were all his. The reason he had a home to return to. His sanctuary from his own mind. He often fretted—though he pretended not to—about the idea of you being taken away from him, a fact that he had come to accept as his reality. But in these simple moments, he allowed himself to indulge in the fantasy that you encompassed for a moment longer.
His arms fit snug around your waist, his head like a puzzle piece against the curve of your shoulder. "Is that for me?"
You hummed, pressing a peck on his cheek as you leaned into him.
"You'll always have a meal to return home to, Osamu."
Yeah. He'd indulge for just a little longer.
𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐔𝐘𝐀 did not expect to pass out. He had returned home from a weeks-long mission overseas, anxiously awaiting the moment you reunited and ran into his arms—only for him to arrive early to an empty home. You were at work, and it wasn't his fault the couch clung to him like a vice! For a moment, he thought he had been dreaming of the fresh smell of savory pasta sauce and spices.
Wait. He can't dream.
He cracked open his eyes, his vision steadily straightening out, and trudged into the kitchen with a befuddled pout, his sight narrowing in on exactly what you had been up to.
"Babe."
"Chuuya!" you yelled, almost losing your grip on your spoon before you managed to catch it, clutching it close to your chest as you twisted the knob on the stove to place the heat at a simmer. "You scared me!"
His arms crossed as he leaned on the doorway. "What're you doing cooking in here by yourself?" he asked sternly, scanning the contents of the pot along with your face. If you didn't know any better, you'd assume he was mad. But you did know better, catching onto the subtle tilt of his brow, narrowed in simultaneous amusement and disappointment. Cooking was often a partnered endeavor.
You couldn't resist laughter, cupping his cheek as if comforting an upset child. "You've had a long week, and you looked so peaceful lying there. I couldn't bring myself to disturb you."
He would've been quick to argue—you could wake him anytime, no matter the circumstance—but a thought overwhelmed him and kept his mouth at bay. You had done something for him, not with anything to gain, but simply because you cared. He was used to it happening the other way around, but this. . .this felt nice.
So, he relented, his ginger locks tickling your skin as he tucked his face into your neck with a sigh. "Thank you, baby."
𝐅𝐘𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐑 had been busy preparing the next phase of his plans, though you supposed he was always busy—too busy to take care of his own basic needs, that was for sure. He was always sorting through different data, exploring multiple angles to achieve his goals.
With the many tasks flooding his brain, he hardly had time to abandon his screens. The skin of his thumb had worn from his subconscious biting habit as he looked over another spreadsheet of banking information, his hands about to slide over the keys yet again.
The scent of stroganoff stirred him from his trance. His eyes shifted to find a steaming plate of the delectable dish sitting next to him on the desk. And he finally registered the firm hand propped against his shoulder, with you looking upon him from above with a sweet but knowing smile.
"Eat."
He wouldn't have customarily taken kindly to such a harsh demand, but he bent to the stern look of your gaze, one that hid behind it a level of care he ravenously craved. You worried for him, not in the same fashion as his so-called "friends," but with the genuine desire to see him thrive, no matter the circumstance.
So, the demon allowed himself a momentary reprieve, kissing a smile into your hand before taking a bite of the dish.
"Delicious, as always, моя милая."
𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐈 had practically burst through the door, prepared to recount the travesties and trials of his day. That was until he caught onto the unmistakable scent of savory pirozhki filling. He followed his nose like a bloodhound, the smell creating a distinct path into the kitchen, where you stood, unaware of the man behind you as you mixed spices into a pan.
"What'cha cooking, dove?" His breath bristled against your ear as he sprung up next to you, using his ability with a shit-eating grin. Your expression mirrored his own, used to the stint of your lover's sudden appearances.
"I found some old Ukrainian recipes online and wanted to try them out." You held out a spoon, and he bit into the filling without a second thought—a mistake. He clutched his throat as his eyes watered, realizing it was too hot for consumption far too late. He finally managed to choke it down, releasing a loud whew!
"Trying to kill me so soon! How cruel!" he exclaimed.
Your laughter roared throughout your home, a shaking hand rubbing his back as you wiped tears from your eyes with the other. "Is it good?"
He brought a finger up to stroke his non-existent beard, humming a quick tune. "Hmm, perhaps a cup of chili powder."
"Коля," you deadpanned. "That's too much."
He sighed, a pout settled on his lips, but you caught the hand sneaking into the interior of his overcoat, snatching his wrist before he poured something irreversible into your dish. He cackled, attempting to pull away as you chased him around the kitchen island.
For a moment, it felt as if you were the only two people in the world—free of restraint. He could feel the bonds tied around him loosen. He could reach out, taste that sensation of freedom for himself. A freedom he had always found in you.
𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐌𝐀 had arrived back to his section of the Sky Casino earlier than he expected, having a strange lack of paperwork. But he simply decided to take it as a sign that he had been doing good work, and ignored the anxious feelings that always sprung from not having anything to do.
"I'm home—!" he called, but was stopped in the entryway by a sweet aroma. It was intoxicating, and he couldn't resist the temptation to lurk into the kitchen.
"Welcome home, honey!" you called back, your voice echoing down the hallway. He stripped himself of his coat, leaving it folded on one of the benches before he trekked across the threshold, a curious shift in his furrowed brow.
You were baking cookies, fluffy chocolate-chip cookies. He couldn't resist the smile on his face, even if he wanted to, nor could he ignore the bubbling warmth in his heart. But he couldn't help his confusion.
"Cookies?" he asked, dipping his finger into a batch of dough before he popped it into his mouth. "What's the occasion?"
You swiped at him with a flour-coated hand before dusting the rest of it off on a towel. "You've been busy lately, so I wanted to make you something sweet," you stated as if it were the simplest thing. But those few simple words took him aback.
You cooked for him. No one had ever done that before, not without being an employee or attempting to manipulate him—or both. And in a matter of seconds, only enough to let in a sweep of hot air from the oven to warm his skin, he realized something that had long remained empty had been filled. He felt whole.
"Sigma!" you exclaimed, and he realized that he had tears streaming down his face. The look of concern drawn through your strained lips, your furrowed brow, and your shifting eyes only further set in his new reality—he had his family. He had found his home.
"I'm okay, love. Just. . .thank you."
моя милая = my dear коля = kolya
ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: @lovedazai @osameowdazai @ruru-kiss @ishqani @zyilas @lovesick-fairy @fedyascoffin @squigglewigglewoo @kelperspelt @miloofc @s1eepybunny @dazaisms @deepseafragments @ajaxism @himikoslove @little-miss-chaoss @justcallmesakira @sillyspookycat @aureatchi @mxxny-lupin @emyyy007 @betweensinners
© 𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐋 2024 — do not repost or modify my works for any reason. do not steal graphics w/o explicit permission. reblogs are appreciated.
#muse's anthology ‧₊˚ ⋅#request: @fyodorisbbg .ᐟ#f!reader#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungou stray dogs x reader#bsd x reader#osamu dazai x reader#dazai x reader#osamu dazai#dazai bsd#chuuya bsd#chuuya nakahara#chuuya nakahara x reader#chuuya x reader#fyodor bsd#fyodor dostoevsky#fyodor x reader#fyodor dostoevsky x reader#nikolai gogol#nikolai bsd#nikolai gogol x reader#nikolai x reader#sigma bsd#sigma x reader
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Love me harder!
;; sex obsessed!sub!kabukimono x reader
cw: innocent to sex crazed kabukimono, established relationship, probably ooc kabukimono, rough sex, lovemaking (??), doggy style, humping, grinding, nipple play, cumming inside, implied small dick kabukimono, sex addiction, begging, desperate kabukimono, corrupting kabukimono, anal fingering, squirting, overstimulation, implied marathon sex, reader has a dick
i definitely can do wholesome and romantic too!! i can hold back on making smut!! (no i cannot) this post is proof!! lol anyways this might be my longest piece yet, wonder if demons took over me or smth. i'll start exploring new writing formats too and improve after this bc this seems messy and i feel like it doesn't feel readable to some readers, so i apologize for that! ;; but i digress, sigh,, corrupting kabukimono is a fun experience though! now you have turned a innocent boy into a needy, sex obsessed boy who wants the love and pleasure you give to him only! enjoy reading! let me know if i missed anything! ^^ taglist (??): @lemonlimesocks @havenmoodz
innocent!kabukimono who's captivated by you. you were introduced to him by niwa and you greet him with a smile, you're voice sounding like honey to his ears. who are you? "hello, i'm [name], a friend of niwa. nice to meet you." you raised your hand for him to shake. innocent!kabukimono who shyly shakes your hand, "it's nice to meet you too, i'm kabukimono.", "kabukimono? what a pretty name, it suits you well." his eyes light up, looking directly at yours as he smiles, cheeks flushing while muttering a small thank you. innocent!kabukimono who stares at you as you talk to niwa, having to excuse yourself now because you still had tasks to do. he perks up, were you leaving already? his face bared a sad expression, he didn't get to talk to you more. he.. he wanted to hear more of your voice. he has a strange feeling somewhere in his chest, he doesn't know what it is but he.. likes it. he sees you wave goodbye to him and niwa shouting that you'll come and see them some other time. he is definitely look forward to it.
innocent!kabukimono whos taking his lunch under a yumemiru tree, munching down an onigiri as he takes in the beautiful scenery before him. pink leaves fall down the tree and flying away with the wind or falling down to the ground and he sighs in content, it was peaceful. "kabukimono?" his breath hitches, it was you. it was your voice. he turns his head around and he sees you standing next to him, "so it is you. i noticed your veil from the road. what are you doing here?", "i—i'm eating my lunch here." kabukimono stammers. you smile at him and nod, "then mind if i join you as you eat?". innocent!kabukimono who nods eagerly and moved a bit to give you space to sit next to him. as you sat down and lean against the tree, he felt his cheeks warm up. "so, what are you eating for lunch?", you stretch your arms and fold them beneath your head. "i'm having some shio sake onigiri, if you'd like you can have some." kabukimono offers, hand already lending you one, "i made them myself.". you smile, "you sure? i wouldn't want to eat your lunch." you grin, "thanks for the offer though.". kabukimono shakes his hand, "no really, you can have some! i have enough for two people." you sigh and finally nod, "alright, if you say so.". he smiles, unwraps the onigiri and hands it to you. you lean in closer to him, muttering "thank you for the food," and taking a bite of the onigiri. innocent!kabukimono whos eyes widens as you pull away and chew away. you were so close to him! his could feel that feeling in his chest again, it was pounding. "mmm, this onigiri you made is pretty good!", "i'm g-glad you think so!" he stammers — he looks down at the bitten onigiri and then back at you. "would like.. more?"
innocent!kabukimono whos face flushes when you're around. every time you visit the workshop, you would come up to talk to him. you would ask how his day was or was he tired. you even ask him to come take a break from forging, winking that niwa won't know he was gone. innocent!kabukimono who swoon when you come by and give him little gifts; "i saw this sakura bloom by road and thought of giving to you, it goes well with your pretty hair and veil.", "there was sale at the food stall and it was unagi chazuke! i couldn't help buying some for you too, the deal was pretty good. be careful, the bowl is hot.", "here's a small lunch box i made! you can put the food you make here. and if you're feeling generous, you can give some for me too.". innocent!kabukimono who cherishes the gifts you give him. it makes the feeling in his chest flutter when what you do, you think of him. niwa will even tease him, asking in a sing-song voice "oohh, who's the the lucky fellow? got you smiling like that." kabukimono will just shush him and wave him away, going back to adore the little gifts you've given him.
innocent!kabukimono who couldn't help but think of you even while doing something! not once do you not cross his mind, it's as if you are there with him. from time to time he would space out; your eyes, your hair, your lips. you cloud his mind, it almost frustrates him. why is it that you haunt him? every time niwa approaches him, his eyes searches for you behind him. every time he makes food, he thinks if you will compliment him that how good he made it. innocent!kabukimono wanted know what he is feeling that you're making him feel. the feeling in his chest that he's come to like, all because of you.
innocent!kabukimono who brought it up to you one day while you took him out to eat dango under his favorite spot by the yumemiru. he tugged on your sleeve, "[name]? can i ask you something?". he looked.. conflicted, eyebrows furrowed and lips in a slight frown. you nodded and faced him, "what's up?" you've never seen him so serious, so you wondered what is on his mind. "[name], i've been having this strange feeling in my chest. every time you're around me, every time we talk, every time you're in my mind, i feel it. you make my body feel this warmth and i do not know what it is, but i like it, it makes me feel happy and.. alive when i'm with you. but i'm scared.. i do not know this feeling, i do not know if it is good or bad, [name]." his hold on your sleeve tightens and his eyes becomes glossy, lips starting to quiver. as for you, you were taken aback and your eyes widened in realization. strange feeling in his chest? warmth? he... he basically confessed to you! you cheeks felt warm as you comprehend what he just said — no words coming your mouth as you stare at him in awe. innocent!kabukimono who felt as if he was going to cry. why are you staring at him like that? it's making him nervous. did he say something wrong? he knew it, he shouldn't have said that. before you could say something, a stray tear slides down his cheek. "[n-name].. i — i didn't mean to upset you! please.. please forgive me..." you quickly raised your hand as you snap out of your trance to cup his cheek and swipe away the fallen tear with your thumb. "oh, kabukimono. i'll never be upset with you. shh shh.. it's okay, it's okay." you coo at him, watching as he melts on your hand, eyes glistening with tears threatening to spill out. "kabukimono, what you just told me.." you swallow, "— is a feeling called love. it seems that you were feeling the same way as i am.". kabukimono perks up, what do you he was feeling the same as you do? were you feeling the same thing that was in his chest? was it that love you speak of? you tuck a stray hair behind his ear and smile softly, "kabukimono, will you listen to me? i think this would be the best time to tell you.." your eyes searches an answer in his and he nods. "i am absolutely enamored by you. i feel the same warmth in chest when you are with me. your eyes, your face, you smile.. it makes my heart swell. you are prettiest boy i've ever met and i'm glad i've met you.". innocent!kabukimono whos eyes spills tears one after the other, eyes widening at your confession. and then he giggles before full on laughing — you were stunned, you thought you were about to be laughed at until he feel his arms around your neck and hug you tightly. "[name], [name], [name]... you do not know how much you've made me happy hearing you say those words.."
innocent!kabukimono who was now officially your lover! words cannot describe the happiness when you two agreed to finally be together after that confession under the tree. now you affections have increased to him by tenfold! your visits the workshop becomes more frequent to come and see him, you buy him more things (you even bought him an expensive tea set which made trip and fall over when you said the price lmao), and gladly eat the food he learned to make just for you. even niwa would scold you with a broom, "let kabukimono work and go back to your own work!" and try and chase you out. as you run out with niwa on your tail, you turn your head back and shout out "i love you, darling! work hard! i'll come by again!", "like hell you will!". kabukimono who laughs and waves as he watches your figures run around — he was so in love with you.
innocent!kabukimono who begins to feel something other than love. you two have finally gotten used to physical touch; hugging, holding hands, even sleeping next to one another (you got a slipper thrown at you by niwa when he found out you "stole" kabukimono at the dead of night just to sleep with you lmaoao). and when you two shared your first kiss, he felt as he was floating in clouds. your lips were soft against his and the kiss was soft too, making him melt into your hold. when you pulled away you swore you could've seen hearts in his eyes, "did you like it?" you asked. he nods eagerly, "i enjoyed it.." he pulls on your collar, bringing you forward, your lips touching again. "... please, kiss me more, [name].."
innocent!kabukimono who feels something in him when you touch him. he could feel something in his stomach burning when you touch his waist and caress it as you talk about your day, making him unable concentrate. your touch feels warm even if your hand is on his clothes, he couldn't make sense what's happening to his body. it's almost as if he wanted more.
innocent!kabukimono whos preparing a simple meal for you while you went out for a while. when he was reaching out for a small bowl across the table a little too far away from his reach, he squeals as he felt something good from the corner of the table that put pressure on his poor cock. he pulled himself away, unsure what just happened. what was that he just felt? he felt something when he.. accidentally rubbed himself on the corner of the table. he contemplated and curiosity got the best of him, deciding to go back to the edge of the table. his hands grip the table and positioned himself — he's unsure on what to do but he wanted to recreate that feeling again. innocent!kabukimono who slightly rolls his hips, testing the waters. his grip on the table tightens as he felt the small sensation of pleasure zip through his body making him squeal out in surprise. ah, so there it is. he bites his lips and tries again and he swears he feel his legs about to give up. it feels so good. the table creaks as he begins to pick up his pace, soft, lewd sounds escaping his mouth. but he couldn't quite reach it. he chasing something he doesn't know, he can feel it but but can't get there. innocent!kabukimono who didn't notice you arrive. you walked in him with his back facing you humping the edge of the table. you lean on the kitchen entrace, watching him intently as he nimbly thrusts his hips. kabukimono lets out a garbled noise of frustration, hips coming to stop as his catches his breath, body shaking. you smirk, he can't cum. poor kabukimono, shaking because he can't cum. but don't worry! now you're here to lend him a hand.
innocent!kabukimono who gasps as he feels hands wrap around his waist and a head bury and his shoulder, "what are you doing, darling?". he lets his hands let go of the table and grab your arms around him, shakily cluthcing your arm. he feels ashamed! he can't believe you've seen him like this when he was supposed to be preparing your meal. "[na-name]! it's not.. it's not what you think!" he tries to explain himself but no words come after, shame and embarrassment really starting to take over him. you chuckle, lifting your head and whisper right into his ear, "it's alright, don't fret." he relaxes a little in your hold but still tense, turning his face away from you. "so, what were you doing? you can tell me, kabukimono. i won't be upset." you nuzzle back into his neck, trying to coax him to talk. "i don't.. i don't know.. i was trying to reach for a bowl across the table but then.. then i felt something when i bumped on the corner of the table.. i really liked it.. it felt good.. so i wanted to feel it again.." he cuts himself off as a hiccup leaves his mouth. you coo at him, so he was just humping the table because he accidentally stimulated himself? how cute. "aww and how did it go? i heard you cry out, darling." he lets out a breath, you can see from an angle of his eyebrows furrowing. "i felt it again.. but, i can't reach it..", "hm? reach what?", "i don't know.. i don't know. i just want it, [name]."
innocent!kabukimono who finally faces you, doe eyes looking up at you pleading, "please, [name].. please help me.." and something in you snapped. to hear him beg for you, bleary eyes asking you to help him cum.. oh, it just awakens the deepest parts in you. you lean down and kiss him while your hands drag itself down his body making him squirm. you whisper in his mouth to relax as you undo his pants and pulling it down, touching his poor cocklet, pre-cum already oozing out his tip. he grabs onto your bicep as he moans in your mouth, feeling you slowly stroke him. you pull away from the kiss and use your free hand to grab his chin and make him look down on your hand stroking him, "here, look at me stroking your pretty cock, darling. you have to watch because this is how you," you gently squeeze and he mewls, "— feel pleasure." innocent!kabukimono whos legs were shaking as he feels your stroke him, breath beginning to stagger as felt himself fall into satisfaction. "haaa, hhghk—! so good, so gooood.. please keep going, please..!". you kiss his neck, leaving a trail of marks and stroke him faster, watching as his body twists and turns in your hold, his mouth letting out the prettiest sounds. his grip on your clothes becomes tighter, his head leaning back on your shoulder as his hand scrambles to take your hand off his cock. "[name]— [name], wait! something ngh— something is gonna come out hngh—! [name], s-stop! i'm going to pee!" you didn't listen. you hand goes faster, rougher, squelching echoing in the kitchen accompanying kabuikmonos' moans. "[name], [name], [name]! it's coming ah, ah, ah— it's coming out!", "that's right, darling. go ahead, let it all out. cum all over my hand." and cums. hard. spurts of white leave his pretty cock as his eyes roll back and his body convulses, his orgasm washing over him. you slow down and closing to a stop, hand still wrapped around his cock as you listen to him catch his breath. you gently kiss his temple, "how do you feel, darling?" as you wait for his response, you feel him grind back against you and your eyes widen, "kabukimono?". you don't know what you've just done to him. poor, sweet kabukimonos' first taste of pleasure.. he wanted more.
innocent!kabukimono who gets carried to your bedroom and lied down softly on your bed. you lean down and pepper kisses on his face and you sigh in content, "what have i done to you, kabukimono?". you take his hand and kiss the back of it, "please tell me you want this as much as i do." kabukimono nods, he does! he wants to feel more closer to you, he wants to feel your skin on his, he just wants you. "say it, darling. i need to hear—", "yes! yes, please, [name]. let's become closer than ever, so please—" he wraps his arms around your neck and pulls you closer, "touch me."
innocent!kabukimono who stuggles to keep his legs open, his pretty slick hole being bared to you. you stare at it as it clenches on nothing, it was so inviting. "be patient, darling." you tut, other hand grabbing his milky thigh to spread him further, making him whimper. kabukimono feels embarrassed, the way you stare at him so intensely, especially down there, makes him shiver. innocent!kabukimono who clenches around you when you put your tip inside him, teasing his hole. "relax, darling. you're too tense.." you hiss at the feeling. he's trying! he really is! the sensation is just so new to him, so he couldn't help it. a few second pass and he finally relaxes, nodding at you to slowly slide in. innocent!kabukimono whos eyes nearly crosses as you slowly push inside, his warm walls enveloping your cock. you breathed out a dazed sigh and not move, let him get used to you and relishing the feeling of him finally around you. kabukimono on the other hand, was seeing heaven. too good, too good, you made him feel too good. you were all the way inside him and he felt so full, your cock reaching the deepest part in him and you needed you to move now. "[name], hic— you can— you can move," his hands grab the sheets below him in anticipation as your hips begin to move, slowly thrusting in and out of him. innocent!kabukimono who cries out, eyes brimming with tears as you pick up your pace, pounding in his greedy hole. "ngh— oooh, god! [name], this— this feels so good♡! don't stop, don't stop, please!", "haah—! right there! please, keep ngh— doing that♡! keep oooh— hitting that spot!", "[name], [name, [name]..! hhngh♡♡!". innocent!kabukimono who feels the coil in stomach about to snap, his hands finding its way to your back and scratching it, making you groan. kabukomono arches his back, head moving further into the pillow as drill into him harder and feel him clench around you. you grin, "you're close, aren't you, darling?" you hit a certain spot in him making him squeal, "come on, answer me, darling." you press your tip against his prostate, drool slipping from the side of his mouth, "yesh— yes! keep unghhh—! keep going! please! go faster♡!" and who are you say no to your kabukimono? innocent!kabukimono who cums with a scream, eyes rolling back and his mouth hanging open as his cocklet spill out. you give a few last thrusts, grunting as you cum in him, filling him up. heavy breathing can be heard, both you catching your breaths. you reach out and cup his cheek, leaning down and kissing it. "such a good boy, darling. how are you feeling?" he looks up at and smiles, using the last of his strength to lift his head and kiss you back on your cheek. "you've made me feel so good, [name], thank you." it makes your heart swell, seeing him enjoy his first time with you. "but..." you perk up, seeing a shy expression on his face "[name], can.. we go one more time♡?"
oh, look what have you done to him.
poor innocent kabukimono.
you've ruined him.
kabukimono loves you. he loves you so much.
just as much as he loves your dick.
you've completely ravaged him. ruined him.
so take responsibility, won't you?
sex obsessed!kabukimono who got addicted to you and sex. oh, look what have you done to him. after his first time with you, sex with has not left his mind even during work. it'd woken something in him; he starts to crave it it, yearn for it, needing it. he can't focus in his work, forging weapons seemingly becoming more disinterested, his mind solely on you. he wanted to feel pleasure again. the pleasure you gave him left him wanting more.
sex obsessed!kabukimono who seeks you out. he would leave the workshop, looking for you. niwa would ask him where he was going but he waved him away, it's nothing important, he says. but he knows he's lying, he knows because he's looking for you. poor kabukimono knocking on your door, please be here. please, you have to be here. and to his luck, you opened the door. "darling? what's wrong? i was just about—" you cut yourself off, the feeling of his lips on yours shutting you up. you kiss him back, grabbing his waist and pulling him inside, locking the door and slamming him against it. you pull away, "hm? now what's this? desperate now, are we?" you tease, looking down his as flushed face, "surely.. you came here because you missed me, right?". sex obsessed!kabukimono who can't deny what you said. he does miss you! he really does.. "or..", you lean down and whisper in his ear, "you missed my cock, don't you, kabukimono?" he whines. you laugh, reveling in the fact he does in fact, miss your cock. "please.. just.. just this once. i can't get enough, please.. i need your cock.." he grabs on your clothes and tug them, eyes pleading up at you. "you don't— you don't have to put it in me. use my mouth.. i— please, use my mouth♡."
sex obsessed!kabukimono who excuses both of you when having tea time with niwa, saying some sensible yet pathetic excuse. he drags you out the room all the while you're trying to hold back your laugh. sex obsessed!kabukimono who locks both of you inside an storage room filled with cargo boxes and pounces on you, roughly kissing you while you grab the back of his thighs to carry him. you carefully navigate the room and set him down a box, hands trailing down to his waist. you pull away as he sighs, a trail of saliva following your mouth, "strip off your shirt." and he does immediately, undoing until his chest is bare to you— his pink, perky nubs already hard and enticing to come and play with them. you contemplate whether to give in or let him suffer, just a bit. afterall, while niwa was distracted, kabukimono decided it would be nice to tease you a bit by pulling a bit of his shirt by the top, showing you his nipples. it definitely backfried.
sex obsessed!kabukimono who gives you a confused look when you switch places with him. you sat on the box and sit him down on your lap with his back on your chest. you settled you hands on his waist and your chin on his shoulder near his ear, making him breathe deeply. "i know what you want, darling. but that stunt you pulled back there? i'm not so sure." he hiccups, head turning to look at you. "bu-but..", "tsk, tsk. you know what you did." he pouts, a little hmph escaping his lips. sex obsessed!kabukimono who takes matters in his own hands, if you won't, then he will. his nimble fingers reach and touch his nubs, lightly touching it with the tips of his fingers. you watch intently, awestricken as he plays with his nipples without you. oh well, more for you. sex obsessed!kabukimono whos hips begin to grind back to you, a small bulge can be seen in his pants. he moans your name as he begins to twist and pull, his nipples becoming more sensitive and puffy— how cute. "hghh— [name].. [name]! i.. i can't! my nipples.. my nipples feels so good! its ngh—♡!", "[naaame].. it's so hghuk—! ah, ah, ah♡! so sensitive.. ughk—! i don't wanna stooop♡...". sex obsessed!kabukimono whos back arches he gives on last pinch to his nipples, legs shaking as he cums in his pants, lewd noises sighing out of his mouth. he limps back on you chest, catching his breath as body gives small jerks. he gasps as he feels you tear his hands away from his chest and replaces it with yours, your fingers pinching and twisting harshly making him cry out, hands searching for something to grab on to. "don't think you'll get out of this, darling." you tug more firmly on the oversensitive nubs and he arches his back, shouting out your name. "let's play with these more, yeah?".
(niwa did not hesitate to throw you both his slippers right at you once you came back with a debauched and disheveled kabukimono lol)
sex obsessed!kabukimono who invites you in his room, telling you that he was given a kotatsu table (for some reason)! as you enter his room, he's already settled in the table, his lower half covered by the table cover. he pats the free space next to him and offers you some snacks, smiling as you take your place beside him. you put your legs under the table, feeling the warmth radiating from under table. you two chat for a while, planning if kabukimono can meet with you a local food stand. as you talk about the food of the stand, you reach for the snacks on the table and in the corner of your eyes, kabukimono pulled back his legs out of the table, revealing that he wasn't wearing anything underneath. sex obsessed!kabukimono turns to you and spreads his legs, showing you pretty wet hole. "sorry.. i can't help it.." he shyly, yet mischievously says. you chew your the snack and swallowed, then smile, reaching out and stretching his hole with your thumb. you watch as he clenches in anticipation, his thighs quivering. sex obsessed!kabukimono whos tongue lolls out his mouth, drool sliding the side of his mouth as your finger works his insides, thrusting in and out, reaching deep inside him. your pace was decent but to kabukimono, it wasn't enough. he grabbed the back of his thighs and pulled it back farther, making it almost reach his ears and he feels like he'll pass out. the angle made your fingers keep touching his prostate over and over again. "yesyesyes, keep going angh—! your fingers feel so good, [name]! don't nghhh♡— don't stop♡!". like hell you will.
sex obsessed!kabukimono who gets pounded from behind, back arching as your hips snap back and forth against his ass, your cum dripping down the sides of his thighs and down the sheets. you haven't stopped, he lost count to how many times he came and how many times you filled him up to the brim. sex obsessed!kabukimono whos legs write and kick as he feels his orgasm approaching, nononono, he can't possibly! you hips piston faster, making him cry out as he feels like your reaching his stomach. he tries to slow you down, his hand reaching for your abdomen and weakly pushing but it didn't work, it only made you faster. "ooohhh— ougnnhh! [name]! [name], please! i can't— i can't! i'll die, i'll— diiieee♡!", "having my dick shoved in your thirsty, drooling, cum filled hole won't kill you, so fucking take it." sex obsessed!kabukimono who screams into the pillow as his cocklet squirts and he body convulses, trying to escape the overwhelming pleasure. you kept thrusting, you didn't stop until you finally spill your load in him, groaning as his hole clenches, milking you for all your worth. a few seconds pass by, you begin to move again and kabukimono whines, limp body using all his strength to turn his head to face you. and to your (exciting) surprise, he has a dopey smile on. "keep filling me up, [name]♡!".
#ems.writes#ems.nsfw#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche smut#sub scaramouche#sub!scaramouche#kunikuzushi x reader#kunikuzushi smut#kabukimono x reader#kabukimono smut#genshin x reader#genshin smut#genshin impact smut#sub genshin#sub genshin impact#dom reader#dom!reader#sub character#sub!character
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Seeing old man Yingxing always makes me giggle. The power this man has over me is insaneeeeeee.
Imagine teasing Yingxing for being an old man, going as far as to tease how much his stamina has depleted after being cupped up in his workshop and not touching you for weeks.
Then you found yourself being split open on his huge dick.
When he fills you, he will switch to fingering, mercilessly finger-fucking your poor pussy, causing his seed to flow out alongside your juices. But then he'll plug you again and fill you again and again, constantly switching between his finger and his dick, to show you off that even though he's a bit older now, you shouldn't--and should never be a brat to him, otherwise he'll have to put you in your place like now.
Also if you ever tease him that he is starting to have a "dad's body", he'll work out again, training his fingers muscle to give you the best fingers you could ever have <3.
CW: yandere, (implied in the past) kidnapping, Stockholm Syndrome, dub-con
related content: Yingxing wanting a sweet little spouse and keeping them in the house
Um… that's it 😌💞
The new year has arrived. In the past two weeks, Yingxing has been focusing more on forging weapons than ever before. He closed one eye to observe the blade, pressed his calloused palm on the weapon, and at the same time monitored the forging speed of the machine. The hot stove continued to keep the heat, and beads of sweat appeared on his forehead. And you, his spouse, cleaning and cooking according to his instructions, occasionally putting dim sum and lunch in the basket and taking them to visit him. The workbench is close to home. He left you an authentication key.
He rested with his eyes closed. You wiped the sweat from Yingxing's forehead with a handkerchief and placed your lunch on the empty space on the workbench. He raised his lips when he realized you were here. "Thank you." The two of you curled up in this space, watching TV together. For the past two weeks, the two of you had been sleeping and cuddling quietly - you going to bed first, then him quietly pulling up the quilt and falling asleep with you. You couldn't help but feel a little naughty, teasing him for being an old man, whose stamina must have been exhausted after being in the workbench for weeks.
You get the manhandle and constant squeezing, all of a sudden. Like you said, these words must have aroused Yingxing's attention, and you were split open by his huge cock. He will not allow you to be such a brat, questioning and making fun of his abilities. The hand slaps your ass, giving you some warning, and presses his cock into your vagina as the warm tingle and bliss surround you. His calloused palm, which was used to touching weapons, had a rough, mature touch. Use both thumbs to pull your ass apart from behind, exposing the inside of you, and slam, squeeze, and thrust.
Your hands fell on the soft sofa, and your face was buried on the sofa, with your butt raised up in shame. All that could be organized were sticky moans. "ah…uh…wait…"
Yingxing proves to you his endurance and staying power. After finishing a creampie inside you, he uses his fingers to thrust into you again until you twitch. No rest time is given to you. Those creamy puddles are right there on the couch.
You don't have any chance to argue that you were just joking <3
#blade x reader#yandere honkai star rail#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr blade x reader#blade x you#hsr x you#honkai star rail x you#yandere blade x reader
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